Ep 591 - M-A DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS (Mall)

-Wow! -Wow, wow, Wes. All right, here we go. -Yo, speaking of hot mites. -Got all that venom out. -Yeah, true. Speaking of-- there was a-- there was a principal at some school in Delaware County that was leaving a voicemail for a parent. And he didn't realize the thing was still going. And just kind of like-- he got in trouble because it was a Jewish parent. -Ooh. -And he was after like he thought he'd hung up. I think someone was like, "Who was that?" And he goes, "This guy's a fucking asshole. He's like a big hot head." And I think he matches like some Jewish guy. He's like, "He always wears fucking sweatpants all the time. He comes in here for-- -Oh, my god. -Where's sweatpants? And the lady goes, "What does he do for a living?" He goes, "I don't know. Controlls all the banks or whatever." -They put them. -This guy's funny as shit. The comments are half split between like this man is a scumbag needs to be removed. And people being like, "I'm signing my kids up for this scumbag." -That is like-- that's like a worse nightmare. -I know. -Especially if somebody was not really bashing you. -Yeah. -You know what I mean? If you overheard a voicemail with that dude, he'd just wear sweatpants all the time. Kind of like, "Smells." He's like nice, but he's just a gross-- -I need to be totally fine if he didn't do the-- I don't know, probably controls the banks or whatever. -I mean, he had to hit that out. -Oh, run. -Oh, run, dude. There's nothing he could do about it. So he lobbed the one right across the plate. -He's the principal bruising. I have to become a gym teacher now. -He's-- -To mow him to gym teacher. -Gym teacher will be good, though. -Five years, that's-- -That's all teacher energy. -That is gym teacher. He should be a gym teacher. The principal's crazy for that type of thing. -Yeah, true. -Yeah. -But yeah, he got busted. But yeah, you know, whatever. That's what you always got to hang up before you talk shop about the Jews that work. -Yeah, if you decide, yeah. -And then the lady, too. It's just like a total delculated. Like, what does he do? Is it just firing away-- -I don't know. He probably controls the banks or something. -All right. -So that was a fun-- that was a fun thing to say. -That's great. -Yeah. I thought it was funny. It was a funny thing. -It's a funny thing. -I guess he's gonna get fired. He has to get fired. There's no way. He's out. I believe he's out on the main line. He might be Chester County boy. -Oh, if he's main line, that's trouble. -Yellow. -Yeah. -It's literally the home of-- -Yeah. That's BB. -That's where BB's from. -Beebe's chilling out there. -True. -He's out there on the-- -I'm surprised. Yeah. He can't have a glory principal popping off like that. -Fuck, no. -You get to have the glory popping off on the voice, dude. I don't like leaving voicemails at all. -Yeah. -The thought of having it run unnecessarily long. -I listen to everybody. When people call me and it stays on, I listen to the whole thing. I know this motherfucker's talking shit. I know. It's my mom. No. -No. -I know they're saying something fucked up about me. -I always spy like that. If someone calls me, it doesn't realize. I'll sit there for an hour and just want to get some stuff. Dude, I was-- -She was just in the pocket. I can't really hear anything. -Yeah, true. You don't get much good stuff. I was phone screen. I'll be honest. This isn't good, but I was on the plane yesterday. Phone screen spines. -So hard not to. -Bro, I was catching crazy shit on this screen next to me. It was like, I don't want to say, but it was a-- -What was he hitting? -Sexual stuff. -It's a love stuff, yeah. -Nice. -That happens up there. -Yeah, it's kind of nice. -You get up in the skies. -Yeah. -Man was horned up, but yeah, it was pretty tight. So I was like kind of just like, I caught one thing. I went, what the fuck? And then I kept looking over and I was watching him go back and forth doing like some lady and then there's a guy asking about some lady. It was like-- -This guy's having fun. -Dude was being a beast. -Yeah. -He was an older gentleman, too. I was surprised. -He was a big font, were you able to see it? -I could see it. I could read everything. And I was just-- I would stare straight ahead and just literally, let's just go. -Oh, he's next to you. -Yeah. -Oh, I thought he was in front. -New, I was scared. -I was going next to me. Yeah, I know. I thought at one point, I was ready for him to be like, "Could you fucking not please?" 'Cause I just kept me in like-- -Yeah. -But not-- -You're not very slight, either. -You're not slick, dude. -You were definitely like-- -Dude, I literally-- -I was hit him with a horn at Manjure Paintings. -Yeah. -I couldn't stop. Once I caught one juicy detail, I went, "You're gonna need the deets." -Dude, it was-- yeah, it was pretty sweet, man. -I was loving that. -I also-- I had a nice flight on the way home. I got a million good boy points, 'cause we got on the plane, and I put an old lady's bag up for her. So I'm like, "All right, cool. So that's good boy points for the day." And then, I sat across from her, and then a mom and daughter got on. And the mom sat next to me and the daughter sat over, and they were kind of like talking. I was like, "Do you guys want to swap seats?" -Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just thinking-- 'cause I get fucking hammered on these flights, I try to get the good boy points. I've smashed people with bags. (laughter) You got the blue one, cheers. Blue one, cheers, I got you. (laughter) -It's fun. -It's some lady in the shoulder that's sitting now. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. They all watch me get 10 fucking vodka's the entire flight. Sorry. All right. -No, you got to get the GBPs on the fucking-- -I try to get the GBPs, but sometimes there's too many vodka soldies. -No, but an accident I don't smash for the bag. It's totally so. -I've done it. I'm not kidding, at least four times. This fool just let go. Deadweight a bag onto somebody. -They got negative 500 GBPs flying out. It wasn't his fault. I had kind of set them up, but the whole long story short is the lady I just kind of switched seats. And then I sat next to the old lady who's bagging up. Dude, for like five minutes, you're such a nice boy. I was like, "Thank you." -Oh, man. -It was the best. -It was amazing. -I got to believe it. -I'm sorry, one more. I'm thinking of the worst GBP I've ever seen at the airport. My uncle, I've told this story before. It kills me. I love thinking about it. We just land. We're in JFK and son. This lady tried to pick up her suitcase. A girl tried to pick up her suitcase, but it was stuck. And my uncle thought she just couldn't lift it. So he goes and literally fucking deadlift this thing. And just rips it apart at the scenes. And her fucking laundry or panties go everywhere. And then he just walked back and stood next to me. Like, "Oh, shit." And then you watch it come back around to the lady. Her bag just got ripped apart. -That, anyway, that's great. It's so fun to watch him do it. -Oh, shit. -Anyway, I'll stop cutting you off. -No, that's hilarious. -Yeah, it's just immediately in my head. -Just coming back. -Coming back and going. -Oh, man. -Just ripped that lady's bag in a half. Dude, I don't know how he did it. -He ripped his suitcase. -Shout it to him. That's awesome. -Yeah, he's a beast. -What a fucking animal, man. -Oh, I did it, though. -I know, because every time if a woman is struggling, it's the best thing in the world. -He is, but I'm just kidding. -No, I'm saying, like, you feel a little, like, all this things clearly stuck. You must have thought the bag was 800 pounds. -I think he just, I've done this before. -He probably went up and was like full steam ahead. -Yeah. -He might have just been like, "Why?" Because I'll do that every now and again when I'm like grabbing my bag down. I'll like one hand it and pull it down. So sometimes you pull with, like, too much force. -It's when you hit people. -Yeah, true. Or the baggage claim, and I'm there, and I get a bag. I'll try to really, like, just fucking beast it. That's a strong point. -There's a lot of chees and strong. -The strong point that the baggage claim is, you're gonna want it, but it, because it's always, you're still nervous, like, dude. I got to get this thing quick. It's moving a little fast. This thing's heavy as hell. -Yeah. -It's not ever. You go up and fucking lift it over your head. Like a fucking Autos. -I get it. -True. But the problem is, though, I'll fly, when me and Brittany fly with the kids, we'll do one combined suitcase. So both of our stuff's in there. Dude, it weighs, like, fucking 65 pounds. So that thing can get kind of beefy. But, yeah, usually, it's just yours. It's not that heavy. But Nate got negative 500 good boy points at the airport. It wasn't your fault. So we go in there. First of all, we were flying out. Nate was running a little late, and the airport was slammed. So he almost missed the flight. Which, that's not your fault. I think they were races against Nate. They wouldn't let him in the priority lane. He had priority, but it wasn't on the boarding pass. So he went up. I might just go through priority. It'll be faster. They're like, "No." And then he tried to go to clear. Nothing doing. Back to priority. They're like, "No." And then I was like, "Dude, we're gonna board in like five minutes." He just beasted under the line, snuck in and cut. It was like a sneaky and cut. -Got right through. -He had to do that. -Why he making that face out of the bottle? That was survival. That was still a choice. See if I saw that. If I was standing in line and just saw that. Three weeks of races. Three weeks. I saw people in the peak straight of races. People peaking out the clear light. We're hitting that. Like, "No, he's fucking not." I can see him behind. We like watching me get through successfully. Like guys. He had to do it. I understand. It was still a survival. All those clear scumbags looking at you. I don't know why. I hate clear. I might be throwing. I used to be clear. I switched up on him. -Yep, he had to. Pre-check. Also, the clear would set you up for failure. Big time. If you hit clear at JFK, you got to walk past 1,000 Indians that are in line. They don't know what clear is. They get furious. Oh, they get in and then they get stuck. Stop the line. And then you're going through clear. And somebody's just going like, "Get out of the way. You got to walk through their line." Yeah. And they're like, "No." They try to stop you. They try to stop you. And you're like, "Dude. Fucking get off." Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Everyone's favorite prize. Everyone's favorite prize picks. Holiday promotion is back. Seven days of picks miss. PrizePix is giving out seven days of deals all the way through Christmas Day. Including a Christmas Day max discount. Picks miss starts December 20th. So download the app today and unwrap those deals. On PrizePix, how do you play this up to you? Matt, I'd love you to riff all over me about your favorite feature. Uh, I like that. the stacks. Oh, you like stacks stacking them. That's when you stack picks. Yeah. I like to stack all my picks, especially if I stack against an injury reboot. What about an injury reboot? That's what I like. That's what happens. What happens if what's an injury reboot? I have someone gets injured. I believe you can reboot your stack. You get booted up. If you want flexibility, choose flex play where you can get paid even if one of your prize picks misses and if you want, I can't read them. Sorry. And if you want the biggest payouts, go for the power play. No matter I don't know what's happening. I think something's wrong. No matter your play, prize picks is a great way to put your takes to the test. What the fuck? You got to start reading dude. I can't download the prize picks app today and use code drench to get $50 in line-ups after you play your first $5 line-up. That's code drench to get $50 in line-ups after you play your first $5 line-up. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Yes. Yeah dude. So he gets through. He you know he beats this way through. I was like, I got a good job on that. But then I had already been in there and it dude, the airport is fucking mobbed. So I go in and I'm at like the very very far end of the airport. I get like 36 where it is just like there's nowhere to be and I'm like, fuck man. You know, it was like we're about to board and I'm like, I'm going to get I'm going to get on first because we had a connection and I was in group one. So I'm like, let me like get up there. I don't like to but but I was like peeping out fucking screens and I would see three, four, and I keep kind of popping up. I just wanted to be in position and I like there's nowhere to go but I finally weasel next to this guy. He's got like a fucking cowboy hat on. He's just standing there with his bag. And my plan was to stand like they have like a little market there. But that was roped off. So I was like, fuck, so I just stood right next to this guy and I just heard him start going. Yeah, of course. I'd be so man. Oh god. Damn, you guys are pissing me off. He was so man. I'd be so man. Dude, somebody stood right next to me. There was nowhere to go. I would have had a boarding. I would have had it. We were about to board. You cares? Wait till everyone else boards here. No, wait. Here's the thing because then people fill up the overhead slots. We're in a small plane. People filled the overhead slots. Now I'm going to put my bag five rows back. But then I have to jump off and get a quick connection or connection was tight. I think. Yeah, it was tight. I think on the way there. And we were delayed. So I was like, bro, I got to get on the saying, get my stuff and be ready to get off its plane. But I still I wasn't bugging. I've got like, I've like started bugging about that. I was chilling. But I was like, let me just get in a position. Everything's cool. Sandex, this guy dude literally starts. Like, I'm not I'm not exaggerating. He starts to make sense. I would do that. I would do that. Well, then I stopped it. I like I just say something. I'd be like, oh, hello. Excuse me. Well, he was, I think he was working that up. I didn't touch him. I didn't, I just got next to my nose. What are we talking about? Fucking right. Everyone's right next to each other. Did you get the fuck out of you? You crazy? You're crazy. Yes, he does. I stopped. I'm like, bro, are you okay? Not even like me. That would help. I was like, are you okay, dude? Like, for real? Like, what's going on? He was just like, everybody's fucking bumping in each other. He's like full, full space. He's totally correct. But I was like, days totally correct. I was like, there's nowhere to go. Of course he's just fucking standing in the back. Yeah, but then you got to push out, you got to get up there anyway. So I'm like, I'm not going to stand all way there and then have to like, because then you try, I've done that before, where then they go, okay, now it's this group. I'm like, wait, I'd even get on. It's just like, then I have to like, I just, I'm like, let me just get in a position. And I like, I try not to ever like, but where I'm like in front of you, but I'll try to get to the side by myself. So whole like system I have. So this guy's just like, everyone's just pumping in. I was doing a full, full space. I was like, dude, I'm like, oh, man, everything fine. He literally goes, I was like, what are you even talking about? I didn't touch the guy. And he was like, I don't want to talk about it. I'm like, I'm fine. But it's like, whenever someone's about to smash, I'm just like, I have to push him. What's wrong? I was laughing. Like, what's the matter with you? Yeah, it's good stuff. And then so I'm sitting there all of a sudden, and here comes Nate. I go, oh boy, oh boy. I got a red face guy in a cowboy hat who's already fucking brewing. I'm like, he's gonna swap that. He's gonna be mad. I was like, when Nate comes up, he's also dating him up for you. I'm watching Nate come through. By the way, no one else had a fucking problem. Nate comes up. And I go, this guy is, I might pop the top, dude. This guy might fucking go. Nate comes up and actually bumped his luggage and do this guy's luggage was stacked like that. It fell natively. And I'm sure it bothered him a little bit that day. He was black, because it's like, you're like, how could this get anywhere to see that a black guy pussing in front of you and knocks you long into him into a lady. He was like, oh, I couldn't be happier. I, you know, fuck you guys. I'm, I'm fully with the cowboy. I'm fully with the cowboy. That's what you got. You guys start hitting the M&M right away. If you're the cowboy, you just get, I'm not afraid. We dished. I dished out. That was my bad. I dished out a double dose of punishment. And it was like, and he was already fuming. I think security was crazy. So he was completely fumed out. And he was like, prior, what was it called? A concierge key where they're like the very, very top fly, total top flyer. And he was, you know, surrounded by the holy ploy of group one and two. So I don't think he was very happy. I mean, he's still talking. He's going to a Christmas. He's going to be like, you know what? The airlines in this country just gone to hell. His, his, what happened? His back fell. And he's not going to hold her lady. And she was like, oh, he was like, I couldn't even talk. He was so mad. And then I kind of like followed him at the next airport. I was like, pray and he'd be on our plane. Yeah. Because I just wanted to, I was just like, damn, this guy's going to freak out. What was your connection? Uh, where did we go to add that? Oh, yeah. We went to DC. He was headed to DC. We went to DC. And then he was, uh, we were going to Syracuse. He was still in our little wing. Cause we all like split off. But he came to our thing. I'm like, did is he going to be on our flight? That'd be awesome. Yeah. And uh, and I was, I was observed at one point. We made it all. Yeah. That's also in my head. If that's going on with me, I'm going, somebody, are they fucking with me? And you were, there was actually a malevolent force around him. Like, what's wrong with you? I was laughing. Cause I was like, dude, he was literally going, I was like, bro, are you okay? He was like laughing. He'd be like, like, what's going on? I'm gonna talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. It's totally fit. What time was this flight? I know you guys love. I know you guys love five. Six thirty. This guy couldn't be more correct. You guys are the ones that are wrong. We made it all the way to Washington DC. And I had been like, kind of following him. I'm like, dude, I hope he's on our plane. And then he went to the red plumb market in the airport. And I got some chicken. And then at one point, because I had to be like, kind of tan on him and I was like, damn, I lost him. We got to the red plumb market. I'm getting my chicken. He comes from the yellow plumb market. It's just like a little, it's like a little place in a bunch of airports. I've been grumbling at airports so hard lately. Red plumb market's good. They got some good chicken. But I grabbed my train and I was like, damn, I lost him. I turn around. Who is it? But the cowboy right in front of me. And I went, I just saw like, oh, fuck. I was so happy. Like, there you are. And he just was like, and he just kind of, yeah, he wasn't excited to see. Not at all. I don't think so at all. I've ruined his day. I didn't mean to, dude. I got plenty of space. I didn't bump. I know I didn't bump this guy. But I saw Nate coming. I did. I'll be honest. I was that evil part of me is like, hmm. Here we go. Here we go. Here it comes. Moving my night to F7, please. Dude, 5 30 in the morning. It was. Yeah, I could. I had my red light glasses on. I was like, when were you wearing red light glasses, dude? He got hit with the whack bag. First thing in the morning. Imagine if you were genuinely mad at some dude with laughing next to you. Go, dude, you okay? I know. Fuck it. And he's wearing fucking red glasses. You're gonna cowboy outfit. And Nate was sweaty from sneaking in. I know you're dripping sweat. I know he's dripping sweat. Yeah, you're dripping sweat. He's so sweaty. That's such a gross ass sweat. You didn't shower in the morning. It's 6 a.m. That was the first thing that I said when I walked up after he told me about the guy. I know sweaty. You know, sweaty. Yeah. You're sweaty. You said all of that. Yeah, that was that was my Friday morning. I was man. I was on this cloud nine. It's been like, this is the fun. Yeah, it is a treat. It was I love seeing spat. Dude, once people spaz of the airport, again, it could be me. It could be anybody. I can spaz for sure. But it was like when I see someone else spazzing, there's just a part of me. It's like, bro, I want to see how far you can go. You want to see a real spaz? Yeah. Yeah. I want to see if I want to see what you can fully do. Just I don't direct them. I'm like, you have lots of potential. Let's see. But he kept it in good for him. He didn't fully spaz. Maybe. Sure. No. Sure. Wherever the fuck he went. The middle of the next flight is like. Man, the weekend was good. Oh, good. Nice. - Good start to the weekend. - Great start to the weekend. - Good club, too. What's not bad, dude, the mall? - The mall, dude, that is the sickest mall. It has a Dave and Busters. It has a Dick's boarding goods. What else have scaper room? - I think that's every single mall. - What? - That's every single mall has a Dave and Busters ditch. - Go car track. - Now you're talking, now you're talking, next level. - In the mall though, dude, I've never seen it in the mall. - Wait till you go to the capital city mall in Harrisburg. (laughing) - That's true. - Christ, what are you talking about? - That's the capital city mall. - True, I didn't, I've never seen it. I only just seen like retail malls with like a food court. I didn't know they're putting the fucking good stuff in there now. Malls are fighting back. Everyone's a fucking safe malls are dead. You have right, dude. You gotta see that. What was that place called? - This is Destiny USA Mall. - Malls got hit with a bit of the same thing they have in the water parks. (laughing) - And they did do the capital city malls. - Not my capital city mall, dude. (laughing) - Well, they did the, which I'm gonna call it, parental escort thing. - What's that? - If you're a teenager of any kind, nobody cares. If you're a teenager, if you're a white teen. (laughing) - If you're just a young teen. - If you're a teen, your parents have to be with you. So they cracked down on the cheering and running around. - Well, that kind of ruins the mall. - I know. - Got it, thanks. - But I don't think they really enforce it. I think it's there if they need to drop the hammer. They can go, "Hey, teenagers aren't allowed in here "by themselves." - Yeah, yeah. - You know what I mean? Teenagers dressed as sports jerseys and sneakers are not allowed in here by themselves. - Old people used to go and walk. - The ball? - Yeah, you see it. - I've seen old people hit the fucking trouble back in the day. - Yeah, I think they would just bring like old folks homes, be like, they would just walk around. - Yeah. Yeah, there was, yeah, I think a lot of old people too. They would get like coffee at McDonald's in the morning. And then just stretch like for exercises. - Yeah. - Walk through the mall. - Hit the fucking MA-Double-L. But that thing was, that mall was nice. - MA-Double-Hockey's this. (laughing) - Yeah, it was victorious, man. But I did not eat well, man, this weekend. - Nothing but fucking fried wings and flat brids from the mall. - Drop Dave. - Pyle, bro. - That's a pile. - P-I-Hockey Stiggy, dude. - Yes. - Big time. - I woke up this morning, dude. I'm first seeing the morning, just. - P-I-Hockey. (laughing) - I mean, yeah, you put together a recipe. - I did. - Yeah. - I did. That's why, yeah. I was telling you earlier, fucking goddamn family has pinworms right now. So. - Yeah, it's good to pile out. If you got a pinworm epidemic going to the house. - Telling my wife, she was like, you got to take the fucking shit. I was like, bro, you think these things are fucking hanging in here? - What is the shit you got to take? - It's like this, it's like banana flavor. It's like a chalky syrup. You got to just, I had to trouble like three table spoons of it before I came here. That'd kill, if I have anything. I mean, I could have, who knows. I could have other parasites. It'll fucking kill whatever's in your body. - It's good. - Then you got to wait a week because pinworms lay eggs. - Oh my god. - So you got to wait a week. And then you have to take it. So in case the eggs hatch, you kill those. - I really hope you don't have any pinworms. - I don't really sit in that chair a lot. - We don't, I don't think they like come out of you. They come out of your butt at nighttime, too. - Yeah. - During the day, my little wormies are sleeping. - I, yeah, I've heard a lot of stories about this. You got to take a flashlight to your kids' ass hole at night. - Yep. - You have to look for worms. - Yeah, man. It's literally what you have to do. - You got to find the night crawlers. - You got to do. - Yeah. - Got to find the creepy crawlers. - All right. - You got to hit them with the flashlight and just wait. - Yeah, they come out of you guys. - They're like. - They're like, yeah, yeah, man. - Yep. - That's really fucked up. My cat got worms and I was sad about it. - Yeah. - Watch them crawling out of his butt. - Let's go. - No, table. - Yeah, man. - I can't sleep. - And wake up. - I swear to God. - And then you wake up. You check the table. - You'll ask the table. That's pretty good. - That's like a fun thing to do. - That's not doing that anyway. - Or do it like, you know, people do that with a door to see if anyone's been sneaking in their rooms. - Yeah. - Put a piece of tape over your butt and wake up. Still, there you go. - Nice. - Good. - Nobody's access me. Access me while I was sleeping. - Damn. The flashlight didn't know a butt. - And wait. Just waiting, too. - Just waiting to see if your kids got worms. - Yeah, man. - Well, I was at the Destiny Mall at the time, so I didn't have to deal with that. But yeah, shout out to Bernie for holding down the fort and taking care of all the worms situation. She was freaking broke. - The point. - Yeah, of course. - You know, I get it. - It's the grossest thing possible. - It's disgusting. - Yeah. - It's truly disgusting. - It's my nightmare. - She's scared of bugs. Like, she's scared of regular bugs. - You know, I got a thing. - I know you don't like them bugs. - Whatever these types of bugs are. - Parasite. - There's something wrong with me. - Yeah, it's a very, yeah, I think it is like a sign of like schizophrenia. - I don't know. I think it's pretty normal to have like, it's always like there's bugs on my screen. - What do you think there's bugs on it? - Yeah. I thought that, I think there's bugs. - Yeah. - Okay, that's fair. - Not now, but now I'm going to be worried about pinworms. - Yeah, I'm going to. - That's fine. - I'm going into my parents' basement for Christmas. I'm going to go, mom. I'm going to have enough drinks to work up the courage to go, mom, when I fall asleep tonight. (laughing) - I need you to come in here with a flashlight and check my bottle. - I need to check my butt for worms. - Your mom wouldn't do that. - No, you have worms. (laughing) My son has worms. You're 40. - You have worms. (laughing) - It can happen to anybody, mom. - She would check for sure. - I don't know if she would. - She would check your butt. If you were like, mom, we came to her in earnest and was like, mom, I really need you to check for me. They would do it in a heartbeat. - I guess. - She would, honestly, not, just like-- - No, she's not like-- - We don't have that. - What do you mean? - I don't think she's one of those ladies. - We'll call it. - That enjoys that shit. - Like what? - Like gross shit with the kids. - Not like that, but I'm saying, just like, you know, she just probably remembers you as like a little tiny baby. - Yeah. - Because she would find out the hard way. - I'm all men now. She'd be staring down the barrel of a man's ass. (laughing) - With worms. (laughing) - Sarlactic. (laughing) - Coming right at you. - Well, America does have this thing where like, the rest of the world constantly takes the warmers and all this stuff. We think that we don't have like parasites and shit, and I think a lot of people have parasites. So I can give you some a dose too. You can take some of the banana flavor too. - Just a case. - Yeah, what the fuck, why not? It's not gonna hurt you. - I hate you. - It's not gonna hurt you. Probably fucking stop COVID, too, if you get COVID. (laughing) - I think it does. - Probably does. - Hmm. Yeah, my immune system's on fire right now that it's taking to the dewormer. - I believe it. - Yeah, that shit was nasty. But yeah, so it was, that was my fucking deal, dude. I just flew home to an empty house. All my warm girls were gone. - It is. - I'm gonna push my warm girls in the warm sisters. (laughing) - All my warm girls were gone. I almost didn't take it. And I was talking to a FaceTime and I'm like, I forgot to show the medicine. I'm like, what is this? It's like that's your dewormer. Take it right now. I was like, fuck. - Chugged it. - I'm paranoid about taking a new thing. If I take like a new medicine for the first 40 minutes, I'm like, uh, dude. What if it has a weird side effect with just me and I just die? All right, so that was like my half an hour before I left just being like, am I feeling this right now? - I'm not feeling it. - Yeah, that didn't do shit. I'm taking another one. (laughing) - I'm not even fucking high. (laughing) Dewormer sucked. - Yeah. - I mean, that was a weekend, man. We just fucking, it was, the spas was a highlight. Then we just had two fun shows and, uh, I don't think anything else really fun happened. I think we just kind of had a good old time. - It's cold. - Yeah, it's just fucking freezing cold. I did work out in a, uh, the gym, I went to the gym, you know, or not the hotel gym, and there was a basketball team full of like, fourth graders with one adult. So I went in there and fucking mocked him with lifting on dump. They were like kind of playing around with those, while this one guy was just like, oh, he'll be careful, be careful. And he was just like, I have walked in, he should have, you should have, oh, are you still powerless? And he should have been screaming in there. - I wanted to. I only have a 50 pound dumbbells. I couldn't even have slammed them on the ground. - I should have. I don't want to fucking grab on these kids. I did mock them with the treadmill. I put it on 14%. - They got nice key anyway. - I put off 14 incline. - No, he became the cowboy. There's little kids running around, little kids running around the gym, he don't want to talk about it. Especially you juiceed up. You probably sped this. - It shouldn't be in here. - No, I didn't even care. The guy was, the guy was super apologetic and I'm like, bro, I need my other corner. And then I hit the 15 and 15% incline on the treadmill and I was running sprinting hills on the treadmill. - Damn. - You know, the kids. - Of course. - Let them know. You guys think shit's fucking sweet, bro. I'm about to turn 40 out. Worms in my butt. - That's it. - I'm fucking running. - Yeah, life sucks. I'm in Syracuse on a treadmill with worms in my butt. - Yeah, I'm trying to think what I don't even know what I did this weekend. I had a nice weekend off. - Yeah, you chillin'. - Just watch some football. It was a good time. - Nice. - Watch the Jake Paul fight. Dude, do you guys get to watch that? - No, I didn't even know it was going on until I woke up the next morning. I said, Jake Paul got knocked out. I said, what? - Yeah. I mean, that's really what people wanted to see, is him getting knocked out. - Yeah. It looked like he was, it looked like Anthony Joshua was kind of letting it go a little further. - Yeah. - But he also could have just been waiting to tire him out. - True. - But. - I saw the highlight. - I got to get Jake Paul. - Okay. He was fully gasped, like, falling on the ground constantly. - Yeah. - Kept getting up. - Me too. - Me too. - It's also, people love hating on that guy. And I get it. - Yeah. - He acts a fool. - Yeah. He's like a YouTube guy, but it's also-- - He did stand up, I think, with a fucking shattered jaw. - And dude, I mean, fighting that guy. That guy's, that guy's-- - That guy's fucking terrifying. - Nasty boxer, but he's also way bigger. - He's a heavyweight champ. - Yeah, dude. That's what I'm saying. It's like, yeah. You got to have credit words. Dude, even if they were like, we had an agreement to not do a lot of damage. It's like, dude, if I had blocked a party shot. - You started going for damage. - Yeah. Yeah, if I were to block one of that guy's body shots with my arms, I would still quit the fight. Yeah, cool It would hurt so bad. It would fuck I probably fall Everybody doesn't know how to fight in these fights just turns around and tries to walk away You get hit you're like, okay, that's it In the back of it. It was seriously just Yeah, I had to give credit where it was due. I was like bro just even fighting that guy cuz I guess everyone was being like You know at a real boxer dude fighting that just fighting somebody at that skill levels crazy and that side the size of the size was crazy It's crazy that dude mocked Paul It's interesting to me because before they signed this deal He was supposed to fight Juvante Davis who's significantly smaller than him So maybe that had something to do with it trying to fight someone Bigger than him after he got a bunch of backlash for trying to fight a small guy I mean, well, Juvante would be a problem. Yeah, he'd be a big real problem for him But they that was an interesting they called it off that like Juvante Was alluding to there being like shady business going on and stuff really I think so I don't think that's every single boxing match. Yeah, sure ever. Yeah, every single time Yeah, that's that was like kind of the rumor stuff I heard online that they they believe there was like a you know a contract clause or like not do a lot of damage I think they at least let let it go three or four rounds before you start. Yeah before you start What do you mean bet on how long the fight lasts like my friend bet on it to go over two and a half rounds and like that's a lock If you know that they're doing that sort of like it's pretty shady. Yeah when you bring the sports book into it true I mean, that was yeah credit credit to him for even just taking the damage because that was like he was fucking well on them, bro But they said he'd ever throw it straight right the whole time I think he hooked them Was that a hooker? I think it was a hook. I think I think he just fucking hooked them Yeah, he that was crazy all my heroes fell dude. Yeah Paul fell cobertate fell Covertate I might have to step up into the manosphere West Watson lost 80 pounds of muscle. I was telling you about that I don't know if it's 80, but he lost a lot of muscle and fucking there's a guy who makes there's a dude on YouTube on West Watson's ass, bro His name is Johnny something I've read his name, but he did he makes like real-time documentary He's like he doesn't have any fucking muscle anymore. There's a little torp Just attacks him the whole time Yeah, West Watson is even about muscles anymore. He doesn't even care He's on the other shit. He's too busy. He's way too busy. Yeah, so but yeah, the guy's on his ass right now He's like, you're not even jacked anymore. Oh, it's always covertate getting hit with uppercuts. Yeah kind of just wild ass uppercuts. Yeah I mean it happens bro. He's stepping in the ring obviously, you know who might even talk of course I don't have any dust. I'm the you know, I'm not the man in the arena, but no my heroes have fallen now I don't have any idea what to say to girls Fuck I didn't think about that exactly. I got a hit with that guy who beat him up I need to hear what he thinks about what do you think about how to approach women? I don't know I'm waiting to probably throw a drink on spin on Usually the message I'm waiting instructions for my new sense a we'll find him we'll find a new sense Who's gonna be what show me one guy in the manosphere is still fucking standing strong Milo unapolis true Yeah, I guess he could he could talk about what to say to girls. Do now. I'm sure he's a fucking arrow So talk to you. We talked to Milo about girls. I don't know Let me nice He knows about girls. We talking about dude. He's a YouTube celebrity. You don't think he gets a ton of girls Relax Sean I don't know or maybe you could be Nicki Minaj. Maybe my new hero. Oh, that's a good hero. It's a good one. Dude. She's I I don't know I believe her. I think she's been super right wing this whole time. I think yeah I mean when Lil Wayne met Trump, she was probably okay. Yeah, and again, she was a absolute You know, she broke the story about her cousins gigantic balls from the COVID vaccine. So that would probably yeah That's everyone's like shut the fuck up bitch You can't you can't go against the Vax badge. I know she went against it. She was the only person But I don't know. I don't know what that's all about though. I'm kind of curious what I don't know. I don't know if it's like a rebranding thing I don't know if she's seeing it peeping the Candice bag Candice's bag is up, right sure Nicki Minaj has a substantial bag I still has the bag Probably has the bag for sure, but dude the Candice bag is crazy. Is it yeah, bro. I think I think her show is like enormous I think I could be wrong Yeah, so she is like one of the biggest shows podcast is like for real one of the biggest podcast yeah Since I think since a Charlie Kirk died like she's been talking about it online. It's blown up since then she also has a couple of those episodes Yeah, she adds a little she's got a secret recipe. She has a seeking ingredient She's been having to a show right now. I was feeling like playing in the juice That's just hot right now It is hot. I mean bro, you give me the word we can take this show to the top And is it it's so fucking hot right now to be just go crazy to go dumb on the J.E. W's But now I just want to do a comedy podcast it do today. I'm telling you of course the biggest pods the biggest pods every single It's crazy. I mean, we're just fucking leaving money on the goddamn table We gotta get in there. We gotta do our we gotta do independent research true I don't know I'll just like stuff up to What Number one Like in it at the end of this year she hit number one globally for downloads and views like 3.6 million daily streams People want to know I looked up her net worth though. It's what I guess you can't really. I don't know what you mean It is those are wrong. Yeah, it says like 20 mil for Candice Owens and Nicki Minaj is like 150 million. Okay. Well, I'll shut the fuck out then You're probably right. Yeah, she had a lot of hits. You're probably right Yeah, you're probably right. I don't know and she was on little Wayne's music label too. So You know Yeah, probably I mean Come on, bro. Yo, bro. How big? Let's what are we talking about true? I guess it's not on here. Why is it not on Spotify? Maybe peep number nine. Oh, peep number seven. Oh true, and we don't have to be nasty That's true. Where's number seven? We're just good boys. Good boys. Yeah, we're just getting GBPs around here Yeah, GBGP's you know also telling ourselves. I was wrong the airport. That's my bad I know you weren't wrong. You weren't wrong. I wasn't wrong initially, but the amount of glee I was taking following this man And peep I was peeping on them. I would be I would have also followed him I'd like to see what he's doing. There's nothing else to do with the airport If you're watching a potential spaz It's so nice because I see him online all the time. I rarely get seen in person He kept it tall. I'll be you know, I'll give him credit where to do he did keep it contained pretty well Yeah, I saw one other good spaz. What do you you disagree? I mean when I bumped his back he hit a out loud like But dude, if you're a fucking I'm rolling if you're hitting audible grumble sweaty dude comes and fucking knocks your shit over He had the biggest bag It was his bag was crazy. It was they were like stacked up like for real for almost as tall I just you know, I didn't push the envelope any further, but I was trying to get as close as possible But you can't spaz like that I Mean you really should grumble dude. You know dude. This was a grumble you could grumble, but you can't grab you have headphones on now also all right No, no, I know what you're saying. Yeah, he was like you didn't realize how loud you saw it. This was a growl dude This is a head phoneless grumble head phoneless grumble grow Literally, I'll just it's such a joy in my heart. Yeah, I become like a like a mask wearing liberal in there. I'm very passive aggressive Oh, that's nice Oh, knocked over my back great. Thank you. I Guess I'll pick it up then. Oh, I'll pick it up. No problem. You know what time it is Everybody at home. It's time this episode is brought to you by Matt, I need you to riff from me daddy on how much what you know, what do you fucking do with the rocket money? How much time are you spending each month trying to manage your finances before rocket money? What do you do with that extra time now? Yeah, what do you do with that? Every once I got my I took me a while when I had my budget all over the place I didn't have a lot of time, you know to just like do this stuff I need to do take care of my own personal stuff. Yeah personal health reproductive health and Now that I've organized my budget with rocket money Let's just say I've been launching some rockets of my own and it's fun I'll tell you this man when you launch when you launch a - Rock it, it's fun to go. Here comes the rocket money. (laughing) - Your baby walks in, he goes, "What are you doing, it's funny." (laughing) - Rock 'n Money is a personal finance app. It helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Monitoring your spending and helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings. (laughing) You can take it away, though. - With rocket money. - You can see a lot of your transactions automatically categorized across accounts and set up customizable categories and tags to reveal your spending patterns. You can use it to set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports and even receive real-time alerts for large transactions. - Sometimes, sometimes, oh, I thought it was transactions as well. - So do I. - Large transactions, joke. - What did you say? Sometimes you gotta give somebody a real personal alert for a large transaction that's headed their way. You know what I mean? You gotta go. - Hey, it's a big rock 'n' money. (laughing) What do you want me to do with this? - Rock 'n Money. (laughing) - Upcoming bills, refunds and low balances. - Rock 'n Money. - You can even automate savings to grow towards your goals with adjustable amounts and frequency. Just set it up and let it do its thing. Shane, give me one more. You do the rock 'n money the best. - Rock 'n Money. - I hope you reach your financial goals faster. - You join in. - Rock 'n Money dot com slash M S S B. That's a rock 'n money. - dot com slash M S S B. (laughing) - Hey guys, please catch me doing stand up. I'll be in Houston Texan January 16th. I'll be in doubt. Did I put the fuck down there? - I'll be reading. - You'll be inside of a Houston Texan. (laughing) - Hey guys, it's me. January 16th, I'll be at Houston, Texas at Performance Hall. January 17th, I'll be at the Majestic Theater in Dallas. And then on to Hartford, Connecticut, Albany, New York, Las Vegas, Denver, Boise, Go. And a bunch more places, go to matmacuster.com for details. Also, Tuesday, the day this is out at the creek, I'll be doing the show, Algonauts, where we go through your cell phones. - It looks as the debut. - Yeah, the debut. - It's gonna be fun. So we're gonna, if you're still around the town, come to that at the Creek and Cave, I believe it's at 8 o'clock. - It could be a hit and a new show. - I think it could be fun. - It could be a hit. - Go through people's cell phones, project their algorithm onto a screen, and then see what the algorithm says about them. And, you know, I'll show our own algorithms too, so. - Nice. - Yeah. I just added Chicago Nashville, Charlotte, and Boston. So check those out. And then, of course, this show at the link in Philadelphia. Please go to that. - Let's go. - I swear it's gonna be good. - It's gonna be sick. - Thank you. - Hello, sorry for the interruption. I also, this is Sean Gardini, and I'll be in Atlanta. But, sorry. Hello, sorry for the interruption. I just wanted to let you know I'll be in Atlanta in January 22, in 24, and we have the noctis, January 6th, and then the third Tuesday of January as well, please come if you can't. Thank you. - I saw a guy riding his bike wearing a mask yesterday. - Really? - Fucking piss me off. - I was like, this is on my constitution. - That's all guy riding a bike wearing a fucking M95. - That's crazy. - M95. - I wanted to yell. - Unless he was trying to-- - I know what I grumbled. - You think he was trying to get his VO2 max up? - No. - That's crazy to worry. No, he definitely wasn't in the K95. - It's crazy, man. - They put up some wild signs around here in my park. - What'd you get? - They just keep posting these signs to say queer kids fight back. - Whoa. - They're getting fired up. - Queer kids fight back? - Yeah, and then it's a picture of a dog like biting someone. I guess queer kids are dogs and-- - What the fuck? - I guess that's their message. - Was there an event that kicked this off? - I don't know, no, they keep popping up. They're getting bigger signs. - Queer kids fight back, I'm out of it. I don't know about this. - Yeah, man. - Hold on a second. - They're making signs for Nate. (laughing) - I was about to say we're tired of getting called Zesty. - Where are we gonna start biting people? - Start growling and biting people. - Oh, okay. - What is it? - I don't know, honestly. - Yeah, it's in my park. - Isn't that wild? - Yeah, it just includes various forms of activism from grassroots organizing and protest to legal challenges and working with supportive organizations. Well, how about say queer kids get political? Queer kids are cool. - There's also, there's a house by me that somebody spray painted adulterous on the fence and then a little further down you see her full name is a slut spray painted somewhere else. - What? - Some drama. - A little drama amongst the Austin housewives. - Yeah, adulterous, real big, it's like, get out there and paint over that. - True. - They're there for fucking two weeks. Maybe she likes it. - True. - Might get her off. - I stopped by. - I had the old Wilson, got right out of the fence. I go, hey, heard there's an adulterous and he's part of the slut in here. - So the sign out front. I'm here for the slut. - Can I spray paint your phone number right now? - Call me slut. - Yeah, that's pretty wild, dude. How far is it from here? - I can walk there, so pretty close. - Just take a gander at that between the episodes. I like to see this slut. - Yeah. - Just knock up and be like, you know you have a sparraging message on your thing. Dude, we were driving recently and someone had the, you know when the windshield gets dusty and people write, someone had just wrote the N word on this person's car. And so we're meeting Brittany and driving back from the gym and Brittany pulls up and is like, hey. - It was funny until then, sorry. - Well it's two Mexican ladies in the car. 'Cause I was like, I wanna see whose car this is and then we pull up and-- - You didn't even know what to say. (laughing) - I just wanna see like, what are we working with here? Just two Mexican ladies just sitting there and Brittany like tried to tell them, you have the end and then they were like, "No, NDNAs." And then she like, Google translated to them. They went, "Oh, I'm just kind of scared of driving." And she didn't give a fuck. - You guys wanna tell them? - Yeah, go ahead and knock yourself out. I think that's the reasonable thing to tell someone. - Yeah, you have the N word on it. - Yeah, yeah. You should get a car wash. - Yeah, really. We're just wipe it. - Yeah. - Someone pranked them. They got punked. - It's a classic prank. - That happened to my parents like right after we moved here. I was like the first thing my mom told me is like, 'cause they're old, they don't be taking their car out all the time, but it's like somebody got 'em with it. On the block too. - Oh no. - In redding? - Yeah. I don't, it's probably a Puerto Rican person, no, it's like just. - Damn. - Or one of you guys, not taking you guys out. - No offense, I'm not trying to claim innocence without knowing anything. Seems like it wasn't us. In redding? - Yeah, y'all in there, y'all in red. - Never even been to redding, personally. - There's like 12 white people. - It's about, it's about y'all in red. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - How big, how big are we talking on the back windshield? - That's fucking crazy. I didn't get, my mom didn't give me the details. She waited for a while before she even told me, apparently. - Really? - Yeah, she was like, yeah, it was all done and said and done when I heard about it. - Yeah, but. - Rough start. - Yeah, yeah. - That was crazy. - That's crazy. - Yeah, that's crazy. - Hard art? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - By the way, how they did, right? - It was the same way, like in the 30 car, hit a dirty part of the car. - They're old. - No, I'm not mad that they are 30 car. - Oh, I thought you made the face like more upset about the slower against your parents. - No, I thought he would just be a fucking hell. - No, I wasn't like, I ain't got a dirty car. - I don't know, yeah, that's something's gonna happen. - My bad, my bad. - Don't fuck, dude. - What, bad? - I like to joke around. You think I'm actually racist? - No. - But, come on, man. - It's kind of funny. - Well, third car. - Oh, man. - Did someone tag you up? - Yeah, man. - Yeah, man. 'Cause also, that's like, you really gotta, you can't just wipe it with your hand. Your fucking hands get all dirty and shit. So then you gotta like, just drive with that on there. (laughing) - And then you gotta go get a paper towel, a towel. - True, I guess, yeah, you're right. I didn't think about a paper towel. I'd have to, you'd have to drive, man. You'd have to drive. But you have to go to the gas station thing and dunk that thing, there'd be one second you'd go. - The squeegee. - Yeah. - I should have just keep this on the back of my car. It's my car. (laughing) - It's a free country. - It's a free country, I'd do whatever I want. - Yeah. - I can do anything. (laughing) - No, you don't have to wipe that off stat. - Feel bad for the adulterous lady. - Why? - I just feel bad. The whole situation. - Yeah, I mean, dude, that's, look dude. It gets, that's what happens. That's the drama and the fucking burbs, dude. Get the ladies, they do a lot of yoga. They get a little warning, you know? They're married to an engineer. What would it be like to have sex with an architect? Switch it up. - Oh, same thing. - You know? - Now you're busted. - That's the exact same thing. Oops, now you're busted. An architecture's kind of a gay engineer. (laughing) That couldn't even get hard for me. Now I have a slut on my fence. (laughing) - A slut on my fence is, not great. - Yeah, I lady and tramp the soft noodle. - Slurp the noodle. (laughing) - Slurp it. - It is funny to be like a 45 year old lady and cheat on your 45 year old husband. been with a 45-year-old man. It's like, "Bro, this is a vibrator." Like, what do you think? Yeah. What do you think this other 45-year-old man's about to do to you? It's not a lot. It's probably so swathe. The bar is probably like, "Oh man, you and me could do something special." Dude, the guy's phone, I was peeping. He was a bit of an elder statesman. I said, "Man, I know you guys are getting all freaky like that. No freaky diggy. I'm over here getting GBPs. I should have told one of them to the lady next to me, but the other guy's sort of-- Texan about fucking people. I think he was-- I might have been Texan, that's the weirdest. Not gonna say anything more, but, you know. Is it true that Nate was taking a nap and then the male stories came over and woke him up and he tried to kiss him when he woke up? Straight out of his sleep. It's every time. Yeah. He tapped on his shoulder. I remember my jacket over there. Tap on his shoulder, Nate went. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry, daddy. That's all right. You don't have to-- we don't have to keep the bit going. You can defend yourself. You did try to kiss a guy on the plane, but that's it. I can't believe you bumped into the cowboy. Dude, it was. I mean, it was just so early in the morning. It was just, man, amazing. Oh, I had a good night. Last night. What'd you do? Me and the O'Conn man got on hell at loose for a while. Oh, it's awesome. Got a little tank crew. And, uh, O'Connor was the driver. I was the gunner. We had a good time. We were doing well and then I realized his driving was a little erratic. I was just waiting. I'm like, there's no way this lasted. I realized his driving was erratic. And then I was like, dude, are you fucking drunk? He was drunk, dude. He was hammered. I was like, you're getting us killed, dude. You know, we're getting fodder fond of. I was like, no. No, he was like, yeah. No, I go, dude, are you fucking drunk? He goes, no. I get, did you drink today? He goes, yeah. I was on a flight. I had a couple of drinks. I was like, you're fucking waste to do. We're getting killed out here. It's so fun. He'd be on a tank. He's like, whoa, what the hell is the driving was a little erratic. And then I'd be like, oh, stop, stop. Because I'm trying to aim the fucking thing. There'd be another tank. I'd be like, dude, fucking stop the tank. I couldn't get a shot. I was like, I can't get a fucking shot. Chris on the headset on us sitting right here. It was fucking great. That's so funny. We probably played for like three or four hours. It was awesome. That is amazing. Yeah. Tank crew is nice too. Tank crew is very fun. How'd you guys do overall? We had some really good games and then some towards the end, the last game was fucking terrible. Pizza probably came for a counter. I will say Chipotle came from me at one point. There's a couple times the mic off. I was fucking probably like, fuck tank. I'm like, oh, shit. It's a good time. True. That sounds fucking really fun though. Yeah, it was awesome. That's awesome. Very nice. We also, we definitely have to clear the record for Amy's ice cream. Oh, yeah. Amy's ice cream does rule. Sorry, we made fun of the ice cream cake. It was just a simple mistake. They sent us a tiny. I took some bites of that. It was fucking delicious. Yep. Yeah, that was funny to get the report. I got the reported day later because we actually liked the cake. Cake was so good. So delicious cake. I was on the telephone and I was trying to throw it out. I was like, well, I'm not just going to waste it. I'll take a bite. So the mom talking to somebody. I was like, oh, yeah, man, for sure. Just ate like a half that fucking thing in 20 seconds. Standing eating ice cream cake on the phone with Tony. I was with G unit. I was on the phone with them. It was your birthday too. And it was my B day. It was your fucking B day. Tony called me on my B day. It was not so nice. Yeah. Hello, Mr. You. Yeah, that's, uh, I don't want to scream. It's pretty awesome. I felt bad. We just smacked the namey's ice cream cake. That was all you. I can't believe I followed through with your nasty plan. I feel so guilty about slapping. No, that was such a funny thing to smack your birthday cake out of Sean's hand. It is funny, but, you know, it was hilarious. So that's what keeps me up at night. Fuck, man. Just not being an asshole for fucking 10 seconds. Your friends hate you. Then I get a text that says it's Tony. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just how he text. This is fucking awesome. Yeah, that's so tight. Yeah, I was pretty excited about that. I need to get you to come back. Fifth star has re-risen. Yeah, another great black black. Oh, yeah, true. That's true. Maybe not 50 little Wayne. Yeah, think codec black. Codec black for sure. Yeah, that's his aunt. This is Gemini twin. Yeah, exactly. He loves it. We got there's a good black Republicans might rule. Obviously, the only way we got to get Jay-Z. He's the ultimate them. He is, bro. He just morphed into a them. Yeah, he's like an Anderson Cooper. Yeah, but he's like becoming them. He's, yeah, he's them here. Yeah, he got the bus key out. Yeah, I'll be. Yeah, well, I don't want to trash someone's art, but I just I don't like that crap. Busky out. Not a fan. I don't really know much about it. Just like cool. I don't, it's like pop art. I don't like pop art, I should say that. I shouldn't fairly attack busky out. I don't like pop art or whatever. Fuck, I don't even know I'm talking about that like very modern looking art. Like worn all like any world. Yeah, I'm not a, it's like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I did I like a beautiful, I have heard though that those guys that do that stuff can usually technically like our like other stuff. Perfect technical painters. They just get bored and do that stuff. Feel like old comics. Yeah, but we could do comics. I'm just kind of kind of trash the form, you know what I'm saying? I'm just here to trash the whole thing. I don't know if those guys could technically. Of course they can. But I've heard because I was like talking to someone. I was talking to my friend Ray about that. I was like dude like how do people not recognize like there's a beautiful landscape painting and you have this they like oh they can do that. They just choose to do something else. I like that. But it's like why don't you that's what I'm saying. Give me some go yeah, bro. I love that. But I don't know. I'm not going to sit here and just be a fucking Debbie Downer about anything. Try to watch a documentary on the Spanish Civil War. I still don't understand it. What have read so many books about it. I've done it. I've done the research. I can't figure it out. Was it North and South? Still or East and West? A little North and South. It's kind of the whole country like just random parts. Never just beefing. Yeah. What year was this? Late 20s early 30s. Oh shit. This is like 90s. It was like they were testing out World War II in there. Like the Germans were given the fascists. Some weapons and shit. Okay. So they're like trying everybody's kind of trying it. Russia was helping the commies. Yeah. They're kind of fascist risk armies a little bit. Yeah. But then that's where it gets fucked up because then there's like a bunch of different factions. That's great. Like anarchists, communists were kind of on the same team fascists. All the political parties just attacked each other basically. Yeah. Fuck. That sucks. Well it was occasionally they'd turn on each other. What? I don't know what the fuck happened. I think there's a spaz. I still don't know what happened. It was a Spanish spaz. It was a nationwide spaz. There's a full spaz for you. I don't know. I don't still don't know what happened. That's crazy. I'm like vag. I'm like vaguely familiar with it. I like didn't really know that in a big civil war. But they're just massacring each other all the time. Yeah. It was pretty vicious. In the village you'd be like, "Yo, that guy's a fucking fascist." Let's go fucking rip his head off. Damn. Yeah. What the hell do you think that was about? When was TV invented? After. So after the 20s? I don't know. You think they saw a couple John Wayne Flix and we're like, "No, John Wayne." It was later, but it was close. Yeah, 20s is way early. 20s is TV. They might have had like real early TVs, but not in Spanish, bro. No, yeah, right. That was also like, they had radios though. So that was big band. It was a soundtrack. It was a swing. Yeah. The ruined 20s. No, no, no, no, no, no, man. That stinks. Yeah, that's. I don't know. It's weird to. This is a jump, but did I talk about that Ukraine video? The doc I watched? No. Pro. It's fucking terrible. It's called 2000 meters to. I forget the name of the town. It's a PBS, PBS doc. Yeah. They just follow these Ukrainian fighters and it's all like body camp shit. Like you see them all fighting. It's been then it was last year. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, it was like. So it's just warfooted? You're watching it and you're like, damn, I was at a no-day game during this. Oh, what are these? What the fuck? Is it pretty brutal? Yeah, it's really brutal. Jesus. Early, very early on in the documentary, a guy gets shot. You hear him screaming, his boys just drag him into a fucking trench. Oh. And they're like, we got to get out of here and he's like, dude, just leave me. They're like, don't fucking blow yourself up, dude. You promise? He's like, yeah. And they're like, we'll come back. He's like, don't come back. And then you see his body camp footage from the trench he's laying in. He's like looking up at the shitty sky. Yeah, it's really terrible. He blows himself up. I don't know if he did. Oh, he just chills. He was kind of talking shit like he was about to, which he did get shot through the arm's end legs. So he was, yeah. It's either that or you wait for a fucking drone or they come over and stare at some shit. Oh, god. It's a really terrible, obviously. Yeah, you don't, like, you kind of die down. The usual Palestine stuff took over on that front. You don't hear it. Now, like, you're still hearing about it. I guess they're, you know, going to be talking about peace. Be nice little peace for Christmas. That'd be nice. That'd be nice little peace for Christmas. Yeah, give it a watch. What's it called? And Driebka, it's a tough one. - Dude, I, yeah, I don't know. - Rugged stuff. - It's crazy, like the battlefield's fucking crazy. It's like two sides of it are fields that are covered in mines, so you can't go through it. And then there's just little stretch of forest. That's just a straight line to the town. It's 2,000 meters, so they're on one side, they're on the other side. - Yeah. - You just gotta keep setting guys through this forest. - Oh. - But they always do like five on five. - It's very weird. You never see like a major battle there. So he's like 10 guys and it looks like pain pull. - It's weird, yeah. 'Cause I know that was a big worry from Russia. There's those like open plains that you can easily go from Ukraine right to like one of their capital cities. That's like their weak point as a country. So they got that just loaded with mines now. So it's like kind of takes care of that problem. - Yeah, and it's all cratered out. It looks like World War I, it's fucking weird. It's weird that it's just going on right now. - That's what I've said it before. - I know that's a fucking eighth graders brain being like, it's crazy, wars are happening. - There is as technology increases, it does become kind of embarrassing where it's like, well, you could just all blow it ourselves up. Like we could just, you know, it's like, this is kind of crazy. We're still murdering each other to be like, these five miles of hours. It's like, it's split it or something, I don't know. - Fucking split it in half. Don't fucking shoot each other, you psychos. It just seems like an insane way. It's the way we handle it. It's literally is the highest court in the land. - Yeah. - So like, you know, you go through everything and nothing works, it's like, I don't fucking shoot this guy. - They're talking about some shit with Venezuela right now, and I think they're supposed to make an announcement today. - I don't know why they're beefing with Venezuela right now. - Oil, it's talking about oil. - Broken bitch? - Trail. - It's got me to Earl's. - They better, they better not. - Better not what? - They better not fucking. - Attack the world with fucking Venezuela. - Is that even like that? - Yeah, what's that called gunboat democracy? Or gunboat, fuck, we just park a bunch of shit outside of a country's, we pull up on the coast and go. - Let's talk. - Yeah, yeah, let's negotiate. - Oh, those? - Fuck it, don't worry about those. - Yeah, those are our, yeah. - Hopefully this goes well. - I mean, was that even a remotely fair fight U.S. versus Venezuela? - It would be shitty for us. - Yeah. - It'd be like Vietnam. It's in the jungle and there's all these fucking. - I forgot, yeah, Vietnam was bad. - You could bog down there very easily. - That's also crazy, dude, let's repeat Vietnam. I'd like for somebody to give me a case why we should start aggressing Venezuela. Is it the fucking oil? Or are they saying they're like a communist country? - They're saying a communist. - Bro. - They're, who gives a fuck about the drugs? That's kind of an excuse, I think. - Yeah, bro, get out of here. - I think they're Maduro, that's his name right, Maduro. I think he's starting to deal little with Russia and China instead of us. We're trying to maintain our sphere of influence over here. - He's on that bricks, he's on that bricks thing. - He's talking some shit, dude. - I've told you before, we should join bricks as America. Like we're in bricks too. Now you guys are with us. - Yeah, it's collapsed. - Don't mess. (laughs) - Well, don't mess. Now you're part of my coalition. - Trick, yeah. - Yeah, we're, now we're bricks. - And then they leave bricks and go back to the dollar. - I knew you'd get out of bricks. - New bricks sucked. Do you guys new bricks sucked? - Yeah, that's a, I mean, I don't know. I just wish, it's just, it is, it does become embarrassing at a point to be like, you have a bunch of guys just shooting each other in the face. So like, dude, you're just not allowed to do that. Like, don't make any exception to be like, well, you can settle that. But then someone shoots you in the face, and you're gonna fucking shoot him in the face. - Yeah, yeah. - Fucking shoot him, what the fuck is that? - I know. - Well, whatever. We're, we're, we're, we are, we're like, commandeering oil tankers. - Why? It's pulling them over. - We're going, these are ours. We're just stealing their fucking oil tankers, bro. (laughs) You go on, you know, to do that. Maybe they're like, yeah, I guess they're gonna say, they're probably like, maybe using them to smuggle stuff. - No, it's pulling. - Just fine, he'd be like, no, they're just smuggling with oil tankers. - It's fully just us stealing their oil. - What the hell? Is there like a Trump in the Secretary of War speech tonight? Oh, it's happening right now. - Sometimes today. - Yeah. I guess oil too is like, so. - Hopefully, that's nothing. - Yeah. - That'd be nicer if it's softer, but it's because it's like, if you get into, 'cause oil is like the one commodity, you really can start like blowing people up over it. You don't really usually don't fight people over like bananas and shit. So I think there is that one. I know there was, yeah, I knew there was that one. Fuck, what was that called? It was like a, it was a horrible thing the government did that had to just, it was like the banana company or whatever. - Yeah. Yeah, the dollars as we're helping the, - Yeah. - Fuck what is it called? The fruit, the fruit company? It was like, but there's banana republics. That's what that's about. Like, they would try to like, nationalize their own. - Yeah, that's what, you know how to fruit co. - They would try to nationalize their own shit and we'd be like, nah, that's ours. - Yeah, we need a routine change. - Your bananas are our bananas. - All right, put in this fucking insane guy. - Yeah. - Who promised us to give us the bananas. - That's so crazy. - Yeah, it's crazy. - Should be the bar, like the big banana boss. - There was some big banana bosses. - These are Donkey Kong. - Donkey Kong, yeah, we didn't solve Donkey Kong because they're dictator. He went, oh, oh, oh, yeah, get him, get him, get him, DK. - There'd be the president of a banana company and just be like, kill that guy. - Think of the dumbest product you can think of. That's what was like, like sugar. - That's crazy. - We're like, bro, we need to kill a million people for this fucking sugar. - Bro, imagine the tea. - Imagine getting a tanker of already freckled bananas and you're the banana boss. You go, someone's got to pay for this. Someone's got to pay. You need to have bananas. - Two days to sell these dinners. (laughing) Call the papers, like do some articles about banana bread. All right, we're gonna use bright bananas for banana bread, the bread going. We're gonna kill this guy. - Yeah, that was like the foundation of the CIA. - Yeah, I remember. - You tell those brothers, they were lawyers in New York, they're corporate lawyers who works for the United Fruit Company. And then they were like, I guess still boys with them. So they're like, we're gonna found the CIA and then like, bro, you got problems. - Oh, yeah. - How we can fucking do shit about it. - Yeah, some bananas flying. - We'll get the bananas going. (laughing) - Well, huck, freaking yeah. - Whatever, I could be wrong about all that. - No, I think you're right, I remember, as I said that, I was like, oh yeah, I remember hearing something like a United Fruit co thing. - Well, that's a good episode. - Yes, one hour. - Merry Christmas, everybody. - Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. - Do it. (upbeat music)