Ep 586 - Shift Work (feat. Nate Marshall)

Wow, wow, Wes. Hey. Hey, how's it going? Good, man. Just chilling. I've got a nap. I'm, I usually I'm a little tired. I know you've got a nice nap kind of nice little nap. But today, thanks to my extension. Through your extension. My great night extension. Yeah, there's little gap in the schedule. It was nice. I was all I was all I was I was sleepy today too. I did not get good sleep last night. I was out doing stand-up. So I couldn't fall asleep. So I was just back to the audio book Bible before bedtime, which is a nice bedtime read by the way. One Jacob and he saw right now. What's the book? The Bible ever hear the Bible. I also didn't hear that. He didn't know who Christianity Ronaldo was. Yeah, that's what I really did. Kind of I told you I feel good about not knowing that. Why? Can we like like investigate why you feel good about that? I'm kind of curious. It just kind of feels like the way you're already explaining it like it's like not knowing. No, no LeBron or something. And that just kind of. You're saying you're saying you're saying you're different. I'm God different. I'm just moving different. I can say that. No, I can appreciate you doing well. I thought you'd be. I thought you'd be less. Bro, I saw. It's cool. It's cool to be my voice is gold. Go halfway. That's because you've been even going too fast. No, slow down. You introduce us to the purple drinks. We were at the bar. I didn't touch one. It's just another. That's like a new Orleans like a Dacquery type. I don't know how to. I see sugary liquor thing. Those things will get you. It's called purple drink. So. Yeah. So I would crazy like flies on shit. They said they even misspelled drink on the cup. It's for me. Maybe he felt better because I was I was like shit. Nia green. It was pop. Of course. God. And I was telling about it. He was like, I'm still shit. Nia green. It's all right. So it is the purple drink. It's not. Yeah. I'm not dying. Dude. Well, I, I ate candy is a similar trap for me a long time ago, but I ate this candy from hot topic. Yeah. I shit. So my man's drink. That's what I was a teenager in hot topic. And they sold this like neon weird candy shit. And I I remember ate it. And I got like scared. I was dying when I didn't shit. I had a plate. It was coming out of my butt. Did you know you came with. So you stayed Sunday. Yeah, we said you guys must have been. That must have sucked. So I sold them Sunday. I flew in at 5 p.m. Sunday. I saw Nate. I was going to the hotel. I looked in the window. I see the bar. I see Nate at the bar. I'm like, Oh, we're gonna say how to Nate. I'm like, what's up, Nate? He's like, what's up, Nate? What's up, man? He's in there. What's going on, man? I'm like, I'm gonna fucking talk. It's getting dark. It's day four is fucking hell. That day I had with the bed with the sun up. And then when I finally came out the hotel, it was dark again. Like he was an evil. He was on some vamp shit. I saw him at the bar. And I was like, Jesus Christ. Jesus man. Where are the others? He was chalky, dude. I saw him. He was chalky. Yeah, I had nothing. I was. I was trying to rally. I was trying to. He was like, Oh, it was going on. Yeah. I was happy to see you. I just had nothing. I know. Going bump into someone at a bar. You're like, Oh, what are you doing here? He's like, Yeah, all the time. I get to a bar of counters. Fuck, man. The stuff Island boys will hit you with one of those. See him at a bar. They're like, I've been out for eight hours. Jesus Christ. It's 4 p.m. Yeah, Nate was in drunk. He was just viciously hung over. Yeah, I was. I think I think going here the dog. Yeah, one. And I didn't even finish it. I couldn't. I was like, I'm not ready yet. I waited until I got to the venue. To my to grow up. Yeah. Squat was squad was fucking in rough shape. I got I got there at a big stand-up show. It's Kang Festival. You guys anyone do some time? No. I mean, Jesus Christ Friday was great. Yeah, her Saturday half energy. Sunday must have been Sunday was chill. It was definitely chill mode. Everyone was chill mode. Yeah, it was pizza and eagles. Everyone was just. Or down most, I can. I saw the down most coming through kind of turned up, buddy. And I can't remember if I'm on my phone. Yeah, kind of turned up, buddy. I went to that was the only night I went to the after party. Was that was just because I don't know what to do at once. Yeah, I word. I word of thing the whole way home. It's just a bad just a barely legal on it the whole way home. Oh, man. Name of the strip club that the after party was called barely legal, but everything. I didn't go every lady. There was kind of old. So it was kind of nice. Like, you just got before very little. Yeah, they were like, oh, they were clearly legal. Undinably legal. I wonder if you can do a class action suit. Yeah, you guys should be perpetuating the illusion that I am meeting a great stuff. I didn't feel like a pedophile at all. I was helping to catch up with you. You might be able to make some box. What did you say? Maybe it'll make some box. Take some pictures of them and like go out to a judge and be like, do any of these look like they? I was fooled. One of my $15 ATM feedback. Yeah, that's fine. Well, I guess I guess that was a. That was the brand unknown ATM just had a super high. Oh, you know, yeah, yeah, the ATM in a strip club. They watch they see they're like sharks. No desperation from every guy in there. I think they have one of the by those ATMs. They have a thing when you go into a gas station is like, do legally when you run over the thing. The bell that goes off the back. So the strippers go there. Yeah, they're like this to go. There's our markers. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't I didn't invite it to the after party. I was like, no way, bro. No shot not going to barely. I'm going to say no way strip club on Bourbon Street with Legion of Skanks. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by prize picks. Oh, you and I make decisions every day. But on prize picks, being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement this holiday season. Yeah, there's there's so much hustle and bustle crazy. The last thing I want to do is miss the excitement on prize picks. Exactly. Seriously, dude. Hey, Matt, make sure you download the app. All right, you got to download the app today. So you don't miss out on a special offers from this holiday season. Price picks is always offering promos like max discounts where a player would only need one yard or one point to cash your pick. Wow. And here's a new feature. Fuck. It's all right. And here's a new feature to get a hyped on. Price picks now has early payouts. If your player gets off to a hot start, you now have the option to cash out on those winnings before the game even finishes. Oh, my God. That's nuts. It's awesome. Download the price picks app today and use code drench to get $50 in line ups after you play your first $5 line up. That's code drench to get $50 in line ups after you play your first $5 line up. Price picks. It's good to be right. It was fun. It's a fun time. It was actually I think it was probably my favorite one of those. Yeah, it was in a long time. That was a really good one. I was curious. I was like, well, they're going to work in New Orleans. The man they truly did find the perfect place. Yeah. So that place right on the waterfront. It was cool. Yeah, it was in the back of the tree at that fucking thing though. Yeah, you hear story. Everybody comes in goes. Yeah, fucking just got jacked off on a Ferris wheel. You're like, Oh, man. Yeah, it's kind of nice. It's crazy. What's going on? Oh, yeah, it is fully debauchers. Yeah, it's a bucket. Oh, I got eyes on the ass slapping contest. You know how to get there. No, but not just I was there early the first night Friday. We know we were out. We were out. So like, let me help on where we at the historic. You know what guys? Why are you attacking me? It was guys. No, I'm just being mean. Skankfest usually tosses. Some guy did something crazy while I was on stage at the live Legion Skank show. What happened? What do you do? I don't know. I didn't look, but I heard about it. It kissed a dick. There was two guys that like kissed a dick and it didn't even take much convincing. Like no, they would brought it up. Yeah, we'll fight. We'll fight tomorrow. The loser has to suck a dick. I'll do it. It was like no one's making you do that. We'll do it right now. Of course, the entire crowd's like to do it. Just sitting there with David tell like Jesus Christ. It was just a dick. Who's dick was it? Just proposed. Oh, what? Yeah, sin. Yeah, that's crazy. I know he just proposed in the room, right? And also I got his dick kissed by a fellow. I don't have a guy's butt slapping contests. I'm sorry. Then he should sign green. It is funny to be on the phone with your babe. Like what are you doing out there? I also have the guy's butt slapping contests. I don't know. Well, I got double dog dare to kiss him as penis and it's going pretty good otherwise. Yeah, she was in the crowd. The girl he proposed to that did it live. And then he kissed. He got his penis kissed. He got his kiss. Yeah, that's kind of powerful, dude. He just proposed. He just proposed. Then you're also off to a terrible start. He cheated on it within three minutes. He was a touch by a guy immediately. And it was just like a peck on the helmet. Allegedly. I didn't see it. Two packs. - You were up close. - Wait, who went for that? - You were up close and perished. - You had eyes on her. - I was in a balcony. I couldn't believe it was happening. - Dude, enough you were binoculars all over the place. - You were watching a bunch of peas. (laughing) - Yeah, that is a funny, that's a big thing. Like, oh, tell me the proposal story. It's like, well, then some actually kissed his penis. (laughing) And then the mayor goes, not once, but twice. - Twice. - Two pecs. - Very European. - It's two different guys. - He went. (laughing) - This is very respectful. - Yeah. - It was two different guys, 'cause the one guy was like, Lewis, you said, for me to fight, and I have to suck a trans dick. And I'm looking forward to that. And Lewis was like, we were gonna let that go. - Yeah, it's like, you don't have to actually do that. I was like, nah, man, fuck that. (laughing) And then the other guy was like, that's gay. All you told me I had to do was kiss a dick. (laughing) - And then he was like, also, I'd like, I'll do that right now to prove it. - Just an audience memory? - Yeah, everyone was kinda like, you don't really have to do that, please don't. - Yeah. - And he's like, nah, I'm, this is nice though. That's a good move, yeah, I was asking. - Who won that fight? - For me to do it. (laughing) - Those two fought, the fucking, yeah. Skinnered versus the ukulele Hawaiian. (laughing) - And you're saying, I missed all that, I got there, it was just like, everyone was just dragging. - Yeah, they were tired from that. - Sure. - I didn't say it, I didn't say it. - If I was wrestling and kissing penis is all that, I'd just talk her out. - I would, full day. (laughing) - They got to top it next year. On the cruise, it's gonna be just like, - The cruise. - Human centipede. - Oh my god. - Fucking hell. - No. - I would, it would cost more than the Riyadh Comedy Festival to get me on the Skank Fest cruise. (laughing) Oh my god. - Yeah, true. You guys don't think I'll jerk off and shit in this pool right now? - Yeah, yeah. - I'm watching. - It'll be the poop cruise, just without. - Perfectly. - The boat will be fine. There's gonna be shit and homeless shelters on deck. Oh my god, fucking. - They should do a cruise and it's never set sail. Just be on a dock to boat the whole time. - People are gonna be jumping off. - Yeah, but that's the only way you don't lose a person. - As if you stay docked. If they take off something, they will lose someone. - Yeah. - Yeah, oh, dude, for sure. You ever see those videos where people do that shit? Does it think it's gonna be hilarious? Jump off a cruise ship, and then. - There'd be a new, like in Disney's population in like the St. Peter Island. - Yeah, yeah. - It's a bunch of fucking Chevy white guys. - Yeah. - We were, we found here. This land came to us. (laughing) - Yeah. - They knew a couple Skankettes to repopulate, but they would, although those guys might just hatch. - I don't even think they, they come out of each other's backs. Like meme of Toads. - They just sit on a monster, how did you drink water? - Fucking hatches. - Comes out like, "Brand drop sucks." - Yeah, they'd have to hit like the, the small convenience stores take up, they completely control the supply of funnions. - Control the funnions? - They control the funnions? - Yeah. - We control the funnions now. But yeah, that's fucking sick. It was a good time. - It was good. - It was a grand old time. I was, I saw some of my friends there, I always see him when I'm there. - Yeah. - Dan the rant man, Linda, and I'm like sitting there talking to them. And while I'm trying to have a conversation with him, a lady just pulled her pants down, who's just showing Zach Amiko her pretty gargantuan butt. It was like, there's no, no disrespect towards the butt. It was like full in proportions. It was just larger, larger than life. And I was like, directly in my line of vision. I'm like, and I was like, oh, there's literally a giant butt behind you guys. And they were like, yeah, okay. And I was like, I literally can't, I can't focus. - How much was the butt? (laughing) - How much was the butt? - I thought they'd turn and have like, I mean, they're like, yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, there's a lot of new, it's, yeah, it's new to the, you really don't want going on. - This was, I will say, this was a pleasant giant butt. - I think I know exactly what you're talking about. It was a very nice gigantic butt. - Yeah, it was talking. - Yep. - Yeah. - Beyond pod. - It was beyond pod load. - Yeah, it was a wide load. - It was beyond pod, yeah. - There has to be something beyond a pod 'cause this was like. - It was, blah, blah, blah. - It wasn't blah, it wasn't blah, like, it was fully retuned. Yeah, it was, like, shapely, but it's like, she was great, it just kept expanding, kept everything. - Like a tree, like, it grew from the inside and it kind of, each year was a ring. (laughing) - I would like a core sample to see the age of that butt. - Yeah, I'd be curious. (laughing) - I'm sure it was, like, a mighty Sequoia. (laughing) - Yeah, the naked roast, I stuck around for two of those. - Nice. - And I'd seen more than enough. - So all gum and penises? - So, yeah, that's all you see. - Yeah. - And then, yeah, that was the extent of the nudity, I think, I just saw a couple guys, tiny penises. - Perfect. - I don't do, I'm still trying to figure out the, like, the, why someone would do the reason somebody would be like, yeah, I can't figure that out. - I'll stand up there and do stand up and show my time. I have a hard enough time, like, just doing stand up with all my clothes on. - Yeah. - I'm doing my clothes. I'd be like, no, absolutely fucking not. - I feel like I get it for ladies, especially if they're hot, like, you stand up there, you're like, just hot. - I'll be doing, like, sleep with their little dicks. - Yeah, obviously for ladies, it's a great thing to stand up. - Sleep. - Yeah, but they're not even really naked. I feel like, I feel like, maybe there they are, but I feel like a lot of the naked row side-scene or the naked stand-up side-scene is like, women were brought on to wear men pull out the tiny flasks. - Yeah. - So, which is, I think that's fair. - Yeah. - You can't be like, you can't bar women from not being able to show their nipples in regular life and then be like, all right. - Yeah, yeah. - Plus them out. Actually, yeah, you could not think about it, but. - Yeah, quit the car. - Quite the opposite. You can't, now's the time. - True. - It's been sanctioned. - That law will never change. You think it'll ever change when women can just finally go, I think we could be close to like all the top of speeches. - They can in Austin. They can or they do. - They can, like legally, in specifically Austin. Like, I'm not, I'm pretty sure in Austin, you can be on these rags, you could. - Yeah, okay. - But I think you can just like walk down. - I told you, I saw a lady one time in my neighborhood and she wasn't, she didn't look crazy, but it was just naked for the top. - I'm pretty sure it's legal here. - What? - Yes. So why aren't more exercising, they're right. - I feel like it's, I don't know. - It is aggressive. - Yeah. - It's kind of fucking, it's aggressive for a guy to walk around Charlottes. - Yeah, I'm sick of that. - It may cut that out. - Although, dude, the sunlight hits your chest and increases the tea. - Yeah, but I'm drowning around my girlfriend. - Six, six dudes with the ebbs jogging around you. - Yeah, so that's tough. - That's tough. - You're like trying to like, you drown with your lady, you're like peeking to see if she like, you can see her, like I fucking dare you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You look at that guy, fucking pussy, that guy sucks. - It is funny though, I can see something you like. That's cool. - Yeah, so why the fuck would your eyes dart over there the same way mine did? (laughing) - I look floggered. - Yeah, I'm gonna fucking guy. Fucking make me fucking insecure. Fucking it's his problem. - I will say though, it's like when you swim naked, it is a nice feeling. Same if you have no shirt on, it does feel. - You don't think you'll fall. - You'll be fine. - I would hope you do. - I feel so mad they built that house back there. I've got so many dips, solo skinny dips. - Dude, it feels really nice, I just got it. - Oh, it's amazing. - That's so good. - Yeah, now they can, I can kind of feel. - You think you're floating like that? - I think I'm the entire pool. (laughing) - It's crazy. I'm furious about that house. - Although, they see you in this room. - Yeah, I'm sure the kids room's up there. There's gonna be a boy looking out the window. - Oh, even a bucket bed. - Oh no. - A bucket bed, a bucket of crows, that's gonna be so scary. - It'd be really scary. - That's all in them though. My whole thing, if I'm on my property and you see me naked, that's your problem. - Yeah. - They're building houses behind mine like, windows straight across and it's, I am naked in my house a lot. So I'm like, damn, they're gonna catch me. - Yeah. - I'm pretty sure 'cause there's been a lot of building going on and I just, - They love having just gigantic windows here. - I think you're looking at every single fucking house. - I go on my constitutional. So I'm just watching people eat shit. - Straight in, ooh yeah. - Seeing people like. (all laughing) - It's me again. Making progress at a snail's pace. - I finished look up, you're just still right there. - Still slowly, just going, you guys having in there. - You got any extra hamburger helper? I've noticed you guys eat that on Tuesdays. - Our house in Philly was literally like, the kitchen, the where we ate was right next to a window that was right next to the sidewalk. So people would literally just be walking by and be like, "Right in on us, I'll read." And you'd be like, "Yeah." - Two feet from over. - Every city, every fucking city. There's nothing you can do with that. - Driving crazy. - I'm looking into your house. - Yeah, you have to, too. If you see people at a table, so I don't know what you got going on with. - What are they watching? What show is that? - Fucking idiots. Can't believe they're watching that. - I do, I don't know why I do like, when I see like a giant TV in the window and I can see what they're watching. I'm always kinda like, "Damn, do you watch an Independence Day right now?" It's Tuesday, a fucking nine PM. I'm walking my dog. - I fucking rock. - I know. It's just like, "Damn, you just chucked on ID-4." And I was like, "What am I doing with my life?" Yeah. I didn't even think to watch ID-4 right now. - ID-4 is fucking sick. - ID-4 is so good. - It is. - Yeah, I do love that. - ID-4. Independence Day. Bro, don't act like you don't know. - I don't know, I don't know why it depends on this day. - I don't know why it depends on this day. I was like I didn't even become I'm like we're saying it was the fourth one. I was a purple drink change Purple drink Green turd transfer My brain has been working right since gig first. All right. Yeah, of course. I'm moving slow. You took my day off at least Tell me you know, no, we drove all day. Oh fuck. Yeah, we drove for like eight hours I'm gonna be the worst hangover drive possible. It was pretty bad. I did the first four Sean did the last four My girl because you picked me up from Sean's and like she hugged this loss You said we all smell like ass and we just didn't notice it and a Stunk was it just you and Sean or do you pack you pack the knees in there? Butterly why is what's wrong with you me? What'd you do? He left he left early didn't he where'd you go? How'd you get home I? Just left it took a airplane nice. Yeah, I left on Sunday, mate. I always leave Sunday, mate How how were the Farts on the airplane? Oh, I know Farts. I kept it myself. Yeah. That's great. I did. I did. Did you shower before the flight? No Right now is telling everybody to work somebody's gonna I sat next to the fucking biggest piece of shit He farted. He stunk like shit. He's sort of like ass in vodka. I didn't fall asleep this time, so I don't think I farted That's fair. That's the l- that's the lameasy guarantee Do you know what's fucking that I'm uh, I'm getting hip-toe right now is that apparently sports viewing is like it's impossible to watch sports now They've like scattered all the games across different apps are like how does it everybody ever talk? Yeah, it's like yeah It's fucking that's wrong dude. It's hard to get a hold of the sixes. Yeah, it's kind of wrong They're just basically making you buy a season pass for whatever your favorite team is Everyone has to pay like a hundred dollars a month. Yeah That's wrong. And then they took ESPN off YouTube TV for like two weeks. Isn't this devastating? No, I heard that. Oh, I got fucked Yeah, everybody went and bought fucking Disney plots. Yeah, I had like the old legacy my version. It was a little cheaper piggy I want to break that up. I'm fucking piggy on Air Force one got crossed by don't He just seems a little slower than usual, but Spud said Spud thinks he's getting dementia Spud said his daddy got dementia Trump meeting Trump senior. Yeah, he's he their speculation that T-dog might be rockin That's not the app I'm brain. No, no, no, yeah, but he's he's circling the drain. Yeah, because I quite piggy was fucking crazy Wow, I just can't think of how like embarrassed that lady must have been there must have been so funny to be I think if you were next to her and you hated her Quiet piggy go Yeah, on the plane to it stink is like you can't get up You're stuck on the flight being like I'm gonna write about this I'm gonna write about this quiet piggy. Do they know do they identify the journalist that was I Don't know they gotta keep her name quiet. Do you think it was definitely a baby because you can't yeah, he wouldn't call Yeah, it was a lady quiet piggy Can you hear although calling a guy quiet piggy? I gotta yeah, can we see who this person was is that that definitely Can I see can I see I kind of want to get the visual more so that the name would be kind of meaningless to me Because that's fucking that's a wild move, man Yes, cats and Lucy from Bloomberg. I'd like to take a look at her Yeah, I would like to really look too big What is it she was I was just curious. She might have had a piggy's demeanor. Yeah, damn bro. That's a piggy's demeanor Quiet piggy pointed out leaning over All the you know if the allegations are false. I'd be furious too. What was she asking them? I think it was about Epstein Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a quagmire right now The one guy who got busted the guy who was the who was the Harvard president and that sat on the board of open AI Did you know like what his emails what he was saying a lot of them? Yeah, did you about it kind of using Epstein as like a dating coach. I didn't see that one. Yeah, he was apparently big I need a girlfriend. I'm married, but I need a girlfriend like how do I talk it was like kind of P.U.A Shit like how do I talk? How do I talk to these kids like what are some tips? I reach these kids get a leg though me. I'd be like bro. Your geometry's trash What's your SG score? He's huge. Yeah, that's a stuff stuff That's the worst and not only be associating with the pedophile, but also to be seeking romantic guidance. I'm a scream. I'm a scream to quiet piggy yesterday What I was I was ready to fucking explode dude. Who went to I went to Starbucks and a Woman in front of me. It's a pretty crowded Starbucks. It was early in the morning. There's a woman up front She's trying samples. Oh, there's a line of people Going. Oh, that's a new flavor and the maniac girl behind the register was like would you like to try a sample and she's like yeah, I would Took five minutes to get the fucking sample. What was a sample of like one of those Fomi bullshit holiday drinks. Bro, that's crazy. And then she was like, uh, yeah, I'll take it. Oh my god. I mean, it was like That would fucking close the Starbucks lines always a great go. What the fuck are you thinking? Oh my god, especially to be like even a sample of coffee. It's like. Oh, that's a new variety. It's like piping hot. You can't even just order it Order the fucking drink. It's sugar whipped cream. You're going to like it. Yeah drink it drink it Yeah, I was Almost broke. I don't see if I can get it get the buy it Get out of the way. I'm getting a fucking black coffee. It's gonna take one second. You're up here ordering it's ten minutes You do feel like an absolute mastermind at Starbucks when you just get black coffee See everyone waiting for other drinks. You know, I'm a black coffee. It's right on what don't masters fucking idiots. Piggies And then as soon as she got out of the way and I ordered I was very relieved. I didn't have a oh, yeah I almost had a like an airport break down What did Ariana Grande do like spaz about donuts or something? I don't know that one. I think I believe I believe I should say I could a bagel bust A bagel bust. Yeah, I think I think allegedly Ariana Grande. I think she spent one of them one of some pop divas spaz about donuts like very aggressively So you deserve one come on give yourself one diva moment. What are you talking about? I'll get a good diva month move Take the sample and you fucking bitch What are you think that'd be a nice remake of the purge where people just said whatever they wanted to each other Twitter I can tell you exactly where that goes Twitter right away. Oh fuck. I never even thought about that Twitter is just the verbal purge. It's crazy Yeah Well, how damn Yeah, that's uh, it was the closest I've come in a while. Have you had have you had any spazes? Yeah, yeah We're not afraid to spaz. I've seen you all spaz. Yeah, what do I say? We went to Barton Springs and those two girls were like Cash you were a little like what the fuck you talking about? I was with you kind of like All right, I mean, I'm gonna I'm gonna be on your side, but man, you're really laying in Bro when they went once I was like you don't have cash and I do them. They want you know them. I want oh my god He's serious and they were like no like you gotta get an app like I gotta download a fucking app. Maybe I Trust me. I remember it I was getting chirpy for sure. Yeah, but on within one sense. Yes, because it's like There's you don't give them time to be rude. They was they don't get wrong. They were fucking very young Girls working like the end of their summer job like that young that one lady One lady was like 50 One was young one was definitely young old enough and not dude. It's like there's a beautiful way. Let me just go We'll hold it up to get it. Yeah, I was like I gotta go download a fucking app. I'm trying to swim in a lake It was a god created lake I see what it was it was a purplared lady reading book In a tent going no, we don't do I can't stand with bureaucrat energy when it was just kind of like you need to download an app And I was like I got download an app to go and think it was like come on man. Let me in this fucking lake Yeah, that's what you want you to stop me from going to this lake all the way back to our car to get some cash. Yeah And I was pisser. I didn't have my goddamn wallet on me. I forgot I was like fuck Yeah, piss me off that that was nothing. I almost like for real. Where was I recently? We're some flip the tables at parts Frank. That was Christ. You know like this is a natural lake. God gave us this Be gone with your jewelry It's like Matt cannot Jewish the less means Yeah, that was it yeah, that's That got me that got me fired up. Yeah luckily you were there to cool me out a little I was I was I was long for the ride I was I was step in I was like okay no cash or no no anymore if I can't just tap with my phone I'm like what are you fucking doing? Why are you making it so hard? It's not 1985 like let me get in here. I have my phone. I can do apple pay Come on and they're like you need a doubt when she said download the app. I don't know what it is I'm like fuck yeah, yeah, I say you a thing. We have to download an app. I'm like dude fuck you completely correct Fuck you. I hate that shit. I've seen another person who's not afraid to go is are you sure fear with TSA? I've never seen anything like it dude some of the guy took his lighter out of his bag of course Yeah, and he was like oh cool dude. You fucking feel good Where do you get arrested right now? I'm scared of the no fly on TSA for sure. I am just kind of like All right, I'm sure fear went right away. That's really funny over nothing It was like a $2 fucking lighter. Yeah crazy. Yeah, and then we went once we got through he walked over the guy was like Yeah, I was like Can't fight at the end You're gonna jump for like 10 years. Yeah This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames The part the best part of the holidays aside from the great fooding the gifts because be honest We all love a good gift love a good gift is getting to spend time with everyone getting to spend time with everyone I love I love spending time with you, and I want this our time together to be so special true dude The ways I make you feel special do it around the holidays. I'm Aura Frames I sent Matt an Aura frame stocked with photos of he and I it's awesome And you know the perfect gift this year that could be for you to share those moments give the gifts of togetherness with Aura Frames It's a digital picture frame that can hold those memories and get make them come alive again. I like to come alive. I would love that You can add as many photos or short videos as you want all you need is your app and a Wi-Fi connection Dang so as you keep making memories you can add to the frame. You know what I did. What's that this memory right now a picture of this? Yeah, if I was doing an ad read take a picture and put it up there going Yeah, just be just a drop in the sea of many memories so we have yes the high resolution photos You know what makes me the most hard is the high resolution photos look like real prints And they really help you relive the moment and you can try interacting with the photo right there. So you know You can get any photos you want on there brief message like congrats When all they want for Christmas is you and everyone together give them aura frames for a limited time Oh my god, let's get a picture of that. Oh My god for a limited time visit aura frames dot com and give $45 on our best-selling car verbat frames Name number one by wire cutter. That's huge. Oh by using promo code MSSP at checkout That's a you are a frames dot com promo code MSSP. There's a clue exclusive black Friday black Friday cyber Monday deal Is there best of the year? So order it now before it ends support the show by mentioning us at checkout Terms in conditions apply. I don't think you got out of that. Yeah Should do that huh. Oh, yeah, the big big tour the big tour the big tour When's this? Oh my December 4th. I'll be in Tucson Arizona December 5th. I'll be in Phoenix December 12th. I'll be in Boise, Idaho December 13th, Portland, Oregon Guys, please come to the so like I'm the Springfield comedy club in Springfield, Missouri now We got it. We got a fire back up new ownership. Everything's good. Everything smooth. I think the tickets I know they are actually will all be honored if you bought your tickets and didn't get refunded at the other place Yeah, really nice stuff. I'll be there 12 12 12 13 that's December Funny bone comedy club Syracuse, New York. That's 12 19 and then a The big theater tour starts 116 in Houston, Texas go to Dallas Hartford, Connecticut, Albany and many more cities and if your city's not on there, don't worry I'll do another stretch of cities. Yes, so thank you. I'll go to matmacuster.com, please. Yes Hello everybody. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be playing Well, I'll be doing standup at the comedy vault in Batavia, Illinois on Sunday, December December 7th Tickets are at Sean Gardini.com or at the comedy vault website. Please on December 7th, please Dang. Yeah, I forgot all about that. There was I don't know where I was recently though, but there was one or someone was doing that Shit where they were like trying a million things or you know Fucking those are the grocery store and someone was doing something like that where they kept just like Asking a million questions. I'm like, dude, they're fucking eggs, man Farmers farmers market. So the fucking farmers market dude and everyone goes there I was getting just I wanted a chicken. I was gonna put it in the crock bot and there's like a you know chicken farmer guy who has like You know, let's attend and this guy's like, so how do you think I should cook this chicken? I'm like Jesus Christ. He's putting the fucking oven or Google it I'm sitting there and he's like two people in front of me the next guy's like, I don't know man I he's chicken and I'm like shut the fuck up. Just buy the shit. It took me 10 minutes to buy a chicken And there's two people in front of me and I was just I was so close to being like do just buy the fucking chicken and move please Yeah, you put your head up a little you go Yes, farmers people at farmers markets think they can like have a half an hour discussion with the vendor That makes sense to me. It's fucking annoying. Yeah, you gotta get my roll milk and roll milk I get it because there's there are questions to have some people that one. It's like understandable, but good God He's just a story farmers market is is happy and willing to chat I always have my kids there. I'm in and out every second is agony. I'm trying to get my stuff They're running they're like can we please get a balloon? I think there's like a balloon twister lady I'm like no, they're broken. I see you right there. I'm like yeah, you can't get one. It's the last one They're yelling my kids are just yelling as I'm like shut the fuck up about chicken, dude Please guys, they're like we're actually out of eggs. I'm like I'm here 15 minutes into the fucking farmers market. I had a nice bath yesterday You you're like that. I told you briefly about it But I didn't get the stickers for my registration for my car, and I figured they did that at the dealership when they did your Emissions and inspection and They don't so then I'm just I was like what the fuck is it and I called the dealership and they're like Yeah, you can go to a tax assessors. You go to your local tax place Yeah, that's fucking crazy and then I Googled it on the Texas DMV and it was like they also do it at HEBs Here's a list of HEBs in Austin you can go through and there's one right by me. I'm in the parking lot and I'm like I can't go in there and go up to a register and be like do you guys do inspections for cars? There's no way they do But I drove and I sat in the spot for like five minutes of like this is how this is gonna go I'm also wearing these fucking like slippers and shit. I'm wearing this We're in slippers and socks. It's like dude if I go in and go. Do you guys I have my car registered? Here's the paperwork Don't do an HEB like you guys make my car street legal, please I drove home and I looked it up again. I did download the app. Yeah join a fucking thing. Oh and Sure enough, they were like we mailed it when it was in my mailbox. That's nice. So that was this is a big one That's huge the day I went and searched for it. That's one of the rocks thing. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah, it was nice That's really nice. Yeah, that's that shit pisses me off. I that's Shout out to wives for that because I yeah, that's great dude. I fucking can't man can't do that shit It's like you have to renew any piece of paperwork. Well, you need your social security cards like I don't have one or this I don't know where any of that shit is one to the post office to ship some shit. Yeah, that sucks. Okay, I know I do what I'm in public I'm I have no idea what I'm ever doing I don't I stand there. I wait in line. I waited in like a fucking 30 minute line and got to the front I was like how do I ship this? And he was like do you have the address written on it? I was like no Do you have any tape for the boxes? I was like no, it was like here's tape. Here's a sharpie right the address. I did Huge box and then fucking go to the end of the line and hold a 35 pound box It's fucking crazy. Yeah, go back to the end. Yeah, I didn't want to but yeah That's fair to get to the front do you work it? Everyone's taken so long up there Oh, dude, I said I said when I used to do all the merch stuff I used to be in a post office all the time and it fucking sucked although once you get like when you're a regular at the post office You kind of start to have a star. Yeah, so I had a PO box so that you they viewed a PO box So let you skip the line and go straight to the counter But yeah guys you excuse me guys. I'm I was feeling a little different with the PO box Yeah, you guys you guys are gonna tape it loudly in front of the line the whole line's watching me For the from it five minutes easier just taping shit Completely trying to sharpie an address Misspelling shit. Yeah, that shit sucks. So bad I got crushed. I was getting a running a car recently actually me and Sean had a nice little time in our Jeep I read in a Jeep Rangler Jeep thing showing Sean the Jeep life. It was all ducks. They call some ducks I we could have we stopped one time at the gas station. There were some ducks. I might do it. I should line them my brother had the Jeep but he got like get you know they put the ducts on the front of your car He had like six of them up there and then one day he was having a bad day It just was like getting in the car. I was like why don't I got these fucking Knocked them all off. They're still like on the bottom So bad day ducts better rent that Jeep and I like out there Car rental places by the way too though you'll show up and I'm like oh I just need a car They're like did you do a reservation and they're like I was like no, I just wanted to see if you guys We don't have anything don't have anything and then I'm like, but then I was I had talked to Brittany before because she was like I already like let me know so put it in the shopping cart and I'm like well My wife was like says you guys have like a Jeep Wrangler and like yeah, we can do that for $699 a day I'm like well, why did you just lie to my fucking face? But I let that was the spedest one You know what might be an argue with this lady. I was like yeah, I'll have that one then since that is available There's fucking 40 jeeps in line. I'm like, why did you tell me you don't have them? Yeah, it was pretty nuts They're trying to get the house shitty running a car is an air port and oh my god. Yeah But yeah, it was the one usually it's all like you know bring you'll take care of all that stuff. She didn't that one time I was like She's like you should rent a car. I'm like I'll be fine. I was Uber and then I got there It's like I want to rent a car. She's like all right. She's like I'll do I was like I could fucking do it It's like a child. I know how to do that and get there and I'm like right I'm like she doesn't have any fucking cards like she's lying. There's one of my cards. I was like yeah, you have a Jeep She's lying. That's great. And then uh and then I she was like I'm like doing all the paperwork stuff And she's like what's your what kind of car insurance you have and I was like I have no idea I'll just skip all every single time I have to email my insurance coming back. Can you send me another card? Like we did this a week ago. They're in your emails Yeah, it almost makes it like you hear about all this facial recognition shit and part of me is kind of like whatever man You can just scan my dumb face and get all my papers. That'd be great I fucking I can't stand that stuff. Yeah because I told you when I wanted to get my license it was uh or transfer my tags to Texas here The guy was just like I was like thought I was gonna be in and out. I'm like here we go And uh the guy was like yeah, your license got suspended in Connecticut I'm like that was like fucking 10 years ago. He's like yeah, you missed the last payment So now like I can't do anything and I was just like I had a call Connecticut and I was just like Just full spas. I didn't know what to do. I had to get Connecticut on the phone Getting getting some possibly Texas driver's license here. I called the Connecticut state police It was like hello. I was like dude and they were just like I don't know what to do for you Well, that's your guys fault. You're telling me it's it's fucking I did it. I know I didn't pay I know I paid it And then dude they spelled they gave me my ID and it was MC space See USKER I get home. I'm like bang got my ID, but he's like why's there a gap between your letters? I'm like who gives a fuck and then she's like no it actually will affect stuff I'm like dude will you shut off about this and I'm going to apply for it like some sort of thing and they're like yeah You're they rejected you right? Yeah, that's uh when the the trying to get a Texas license took Fucking forever took me took me a year of going. I would go to the DMV sometimes I'd be like it's time for me to get this done today. Yeah Drive 30 minutes outside the city to try to find a shitty one that no one's at yeah, yeah Chock full of Mexicans in there Me and them are just getting IDs together. We're new Texas residents They're like the wait list is uh Can you come back in six months? I'm like all right. I'll be there Sleep right through that No idea like I should have put down my calendar April six. I got to go there dude every every doctor's a type of appointment I go to they go, okay, so why don't we good for you? How about six months from now? I go perfect and I just leave I was at the gym recently and there's a chiropractor we're like set up and I'm like oh I can be nice It's like close to my house. I'll get it like I paid for an initial appointment Never the lady wants a hammy her business card now. I was like I don't need your fucking business card So something pretty like y'all I found this new chiropractor. It's gonna be awesome And she was like what's the name of the place and I was like, I don't know She's like, how are you gonna go to your appointment if you don't know the name of it? I was like, oh fuck I just missed I just paid for the appointment Never gone Did you make that you got to stop doing that? I'm like, don't tell me I don't give a fuck if I missed it or not It's crazy that you paid for the appointment. You don't know where to go and I was like, well, that's for me to worry about not for you You shut up people with business cards can get fucked. That's what I said. I'm like, I don't need your business card But I don't you know, I'm tired people hand me a fucking business card. It's just is trash I'm never gonna sit down and go Give me your number. Give me your fucking number type it in Yeah, that was that was my bad though not to verify the name of the business before because I was like I'll get an email like an onboard email I'll be like, hey, you having a poor man. That's what I banged on but no such luck. I got I got a yeah Down 65 books I'll crack your back talk it. Yeah Oh, the mayor knew of you. Did I true? Nothing you got a fix in my back. Did I tell y'all about my my bar space Oh, I heard you. Oh, yeah, I The we were I don't remember the name of the bar, but sorry. I was looking at your cup. Does it say Wonder Showson? Yeah Who wrote that? That's just what the name of the drink is Wonder Showson. Yeah, that's it. Oh, fuck you That's a great. Do you remember that show? That's the purple dragon Wonder Showson was wild. I can't put his Wonder Showson. I didn't know is it old like MTV like fake kids show that was like There's a lot of really good stuff on there nice. Yeah. That's awesome. Check it out. I want a really good stuff in here. Not stupid That's what I like it. That's what I wanted that. I wanted you to sit here and bomb I want the comments to go nuts on This doctor CB shit right now I'm trying to recover. I'm trying to give up poop back to like normal green. It's normal green. We'll be better there right now That was the drag, bro Damn. I'm alright. So what happened to the bar space? What happened? This is like 4 a.m I probably I might overranked it a little bit, but I was saying something I was What are you laughing at me like that? You definitely overreacting. I overreacting, but do we went to a bar on Saturday that was about the clothes Yeah, I heard and the guy kept it open for us Yeah, and then when I left and there was just a group of people there that were with me He was ready. He was you know, I mean, he was like I it's yeah, let's go. We were supposed to close three hours ago He never it was like I can't believe you guys stayed that way Well, he he kept drinking he was giving out. Well, I they didn't happen to me But he was giving other people they're like free drinks. He was like in his own little I think he got hammer while like while we were there and At some point he I forget I'm talking to Chris Fegg and he says something to me and like I don't I wish I could remember I said back cuz like not know what I said bad makes it sound like I'll definitely the asshole But he he he takes my beer and he goes all right You're done and just like pours it out like may look at me in the eyes like I'm like I'm a bitch But you said something to him that you don't remember. I don't think I said anything crazy I think I was like talking to Chris and he just kind of came in like Happened into what we were talking about is how I remember you know with a quiet piggy probably Could've been quiet piggy. I would fight to guess it was homophobic or transphobic I might have been I don't know, but he just came into the topic and you were just kind of like that's how I remember It was the man Well, I was just waiting for the after the incident. Oh, yeah Yeah, so after he poured the poured the beer It did that did make me mad as hell and I was like what the fuck was that about and then I like knocked the empty off Which I'm saying is a spaz It is a spaz so total spaz Uh, but then then I was a glass shatter glass. Yeah, I had it Damn, but still you look somebody in the eyes and Porter beer out like Yeah, that was so huge chance he had gone. Hey guys wrap it up and got ignored seven times Did he do that? I don't think he did that Because he because he had because also what was happening at that time is their regulars were there He was like a lot of the regulars because their bar was still open. They were like oh shit my bars open So they were I think literally one of them said was like we don't know all these white people are but we're happy The regulars were yeah, we're talking like third Ward, Nola. Yeah Mate those guys didn't show up until after you were like Mean fake we're not leaving no they weren't there like I saw them. I definitely saw because like I just I think you were outside But they were there but you after that happened it was definitely like the the locals at their bar You got your black lady on huh. I think you're my black lady on your shadow You took something off the counter threw it behind the counter. I started screaming. I'm not going anywhere Because things go wrong. You start throwing plates Nobody pours out my drink They had you fucked up. They they have me they did have me fucked up Eleveyor was trying to get out and that was it was because of how you were trying to get like skidados Kidado and I didn't like the way to have felt and that's what it was. Yeah. I was like it's about to fight you You keep you keep slurring at the bartender to his face Did I yes? Yeah, you're dropping a lot about like bro. We got to leave Looking in the eye and pouring a beer out is it's crazy but But then I did kind of people do started like positioning themselves in ways to my dreams. - Hot. (laughing) - It's all part of a plan. You know, what do you fellas gonna do? Take me to the alley and rough me up. (laughing) - Yeah, right. None of you could wrestle me in the alley. You wish you got a wrestling match. (laughing) I mean, I knew there's more to it. I knew it was, I knew it was obviously unruly. You break it glass. - I was a little, honestly, I didn't, I was a little bit of a join to their side. I said, let's get him, fellas. - Oh, let me, let me, let me tell you what I did. - I didn't come up behind you going. (laughing) - So after you smashed your glass, what was the next move? So I start people that there's like, like, people starting to eye me in the boat, like staring at me and like, getting a little closer and shit. And I saw a lot of them. And I, he was looking at me. I just went over to talk to him. And I was like, I'm gonna just fucking figure it out. I was like, and I said what happened. I talked about the like, you know, staring me in the eyes, pouring the beer out. Blah, blah, blah. And he was like, he kind of just was like, ah, yeah, that's fucked up. And he probably knew that like, he this guy was hammering. They, you know, it's their bar. They also know that he probably like, they know he can be a dickhead. And just smoothed it over, he damped me up. He was like, all good. And just like, follow me on Instagram. - He followed you on Instagram. - Follow me on Instagram. I'm like, follow me on Instagram. - Follow me on Instagram, follow me on Instagram. - It was probably that, who's that guy on Instagram right now? The guy with no front teeth? He's always talking about juicy booties. It's probably Fleece Johnson. (laughing) - No, no. - Don't worry about it, young lad. - Tell 'em what they got. - He probably heard you fart at the bar when you got it. - I got it. - That's a juicy booties. - What? - Busy. - That's nice. So you shut the bar down. You left on your terms, we're fucking good, right? - No, no, no. - It gets worse. - No. - So I did try to squat, I squashed with everybody like around me that I, that was, you know. - Man, I would love to have seen that. - He was like, ah, you know we're good, right? Yeah, we're good. - Come on, Fred, what's your Instagram, all right? - Everybody, man, get this weird fucking guy out of here. - Well, we're really, we're happy. We're happy was like, I forget who else was there, but somebody else was like, no, he's, I think other people were there was like, no, he's, he's not like this. He's, this is, you know, this is a little out of character for him, he's not a dickhead, blah, blah. And that's what the guy said to me. He was like, everybody here saying you're cool, you know, you know, that type of shit. And then I went to the bartender to apologize, 'cause I was like, you know, I did knock the thing down. Like, you know, it was a black shirt, and I went through like, yo, my bad. Maybe we had a misunderstanding with that beer pouring out thing, but I didn't mean to do all that. And he was like, no, you saw my boys and then you coming around you and then you got scared. - Ooh. - And like, and then I was like, no. I didn't get scared. I'm just trying to do the right thing now. And I apologize to you. - You got scared. - I'm dying in this bar. I'm starting, I'm starting, I like, and then that's when Lamarist try to get me out. He was like, come boy, that you gotta go. - Then eventually I was like, you had the 504 boys on you. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, that's just a bad place to do it. - Yeah, yeah. And like, I wasn't saying it like kill me in this bar. I was saying it like, no, I'm not scared. - You said kill me in this bar. - No, I didn't. I don't even talk like that. - Bro, you were like, I'm dying here. They're gonna have to kill me to get me out of here. - I don't think I said that. - I think Lamarist lying on the right now. - Lamarist, you were close to saying exactly that. - But I do think I said, what were you saying this whole time? - I was saying Nate, we need the fucking girl. He's trying to go. - He was trying to get out of here. - Why are you spending money in a bar that where the guy doesn't like you? - I didn't. - That's actually a good appeal to a drunk brain. - Yeah, fuck him, I'll show it. - I'm not fucking. - What was the takeaway? - That's the most important, what's the takeaway? - Yeah, what'd you learn? - Not a God damn. (laughing) - God damn. - That's for sure. - That whole night you had been talking about Christian Ronaldo the entire night. - Yeah. - This guy sounds amazing. - You didn't learn anything. I don't like your behavior. - I'm not. - I would be annoyed. - I was hurt. - If I was the bartender. - I mean, I was doing, I made it some mistakes, but then I still tried to make it right in all the right way. - Yeah, but after you saw his boys show up, and he was right again, he, that was, - Sean, Sean told me at one point, you got up and you were like, "You knew the fuck I did in podcast room?" (laughing) - You were like, "You know who my podcast partner is?" (laughing) - I heard they poured out the drink 'cause you tried to coyote ugly. (laughing) You got all of a sudden, let's go girls. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man. - No, let's get to work on the floor. They said, "Get him the fuck outta here." - Smashin' the glasses, it's too much. It is too much. It's not, I really didn't, I don't think I was expecting it to like fall in the shed. I wasn't thinking that. I just was like, "Come on, oh, shit." - Yeah. - Now we done done it. Clear the counter. - Yeah. - But pulling out, I pulled off like not getting my ass with what I am pretty happy. Like, I got proud of that, 'cause they survived. That would have been a rough one. - It would have been a, it would have been a hot, I'd have been hospitalized. - 4 a.m. - Especially after I'm ready to die, and as soon as I get so much crack, you're like, "Get the fuck outta here, you fucking idiot!" You know you're gonna use a misunderstanding. I don't really wanna die here, you say that? - That would have sucked. - I mean, when we got out of the Uber to go into the bar, I was like, "Is it real?" - Place. - Yeah. - This is the real deal. - This is the Wild West. We don't have to act right. - Yeah, yeah. - You have to be polite. - Yeah. - It was not a good moment. - Yeah, it was a good time. I was saying, when we pulled up, it was, - I don't remember. - You need to black his hell. - You're gonna be acting a fool. - Yeah. - Cross the street. - There what? - They played a lot of usher across the street. That's how black it was. - Yeah, it was very black. - Cross, what was going on across the street? - It was like a, it's like clear. - Okay, it's clear. - Dance clear. - It's ripin' usher, yeah. - Yeah, it's real. - This is the only place that you can hear like usher in Chris Brown, it's like a black dance clear. - Yeah, sereneless. - Although, yeah, I feel like if you're a good true bar in the hood, it'd be plastic cups everywhere. There would be no glass to smash. A lot of plastic cups going on. - Yeah. - Yeah, we did have bottles. I didn't even think about that. - Did you just lot of play? When I used to go to the bars in West, there was like bars. - Yeah, no, it definitely wasn't like that. It wasn't like that, it would. - Yeah. - Okay, so you got the patrons. - Yeah. - Visibly, guys, you don't want a bar there. - Was it grown, were they grown in sexy? - No. - They were not grown in sexy, but they were. - No. (laughs) - It was like 70-year-old. - Yeah. - It was, I say you're like a little nether on basically. - Yeah, you just, I would, I can't even imagine doing that. - Well, it wasn't for messing around. - Yeah. - There was like bars when I went to school at Drexel in Westville, that would serve, like you could be a baby and they'd be like yeah, whatever. And I just favor to remember only ever drinking out of clear plastic cups. You know, like fuck this place. He's the best bar I've ever been to. I've been to two bars. This is my favorite one ever. Two for one shot tonight. - That's exactly how I am. I'm still my favorite bar. I got to the bar I worked at when I was 21, every, yeah. - This is the best. - There is, I will say there is something so fun about walking into a bar, pretty much stone sober and then just kind of really digging in for like hours at a bar stool. - Yeah. - It's so nice. - Talk about clocking in. - Yeah. - Put in a real shift in the bar. - We put in this one of the strongest shifts at a in Chicago, the day after a wasis. Me, Billy-- - Oh, you guys don't-- - Me, Billy Sput and Eget put in a monster shift. - Yeah. - It was really nice. - That's fun. - Eget had to get out of it 'cause the beers were looking-- - Yeah. - They're calling him. - That is, that would absolutely kill me. - Sput's willing to put in a shift. I was surprised that a willing Billy was to put in a shift. - Put in a shift? - It was a great shift. - Yeah. - People loved to change bars. - No. - It's nice to dig in from-- - You dig in. - You go, we sit at this table, we talk. And then it got a little guys at the next table. We're like, you guys want some blow? - Yeah. - And it was like shifts over. - Yeah, we're out clocking out. - 'Cause that's how-- - Yeah. - That's what you get over. - Over time, that's-- - That's the night crew coming in. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You got it. - Yeah, it was my first thing when I get to work for an electrician, we get paid in a bar and cash every Friday. That was a big thing. We're digging in. We're gonna dig in the whole thing. - Basically, most of the company would just sit at the bar. - You been talking about shifts as firemen. - I love it, dude. I'm going to Westchester this weekend. I'll be putting in a shit. - Saturday College football, no day at 330. That's shift. - Oh, yeah, 330. - The whistle's gone. - Yeah, oh, yeah. - We got my lunchpale. - My lunchpale. - Of wings. - Maybe a sick bar if you could just sit on iron beams. - True. - Like four feet up. Have a little lunchpale and they give you your drinks. You can put in your iron worker in the 1920s. - Yeah. - Put them on a hill. - I'm reading a speaking of infrastructure in the 1920s. I'm reading a book right now called The Titan by Theodore Dreiser, whatever Dreiser to whatever's name is. And it's all about like the robber baron age of like 1890 to 1920. But it's a guy from Philadelphia who does some white color financial crime, goes to jail, but still has like, cool million bucks. And then he goes out to Chicago to like really ramp up his, it's just him and his mistress. He just abandoned his family with his mistress, goes to Chicago and just starts monopolizing like gas works and railroads and it's so fucking nice. It's all about like 90, anything like turn to the 20th century high society, the vernacular's so fucking nice. They all just attack each other and it's the best. - Yeah, like a great guy. - Yeah, it's very similar. He's in a sport, yeah, he's very he's like a quite so quite it's also the Sun also rises is very like that. Yeah, like Yeah, I just love that they just hate each other. They only Ivy League. They're all like he thinks he's a good fighter. He's a Jew Exactly that I'll tell you what that Jew can fight. I wouldn't want to try him That man's rotten from the top of his head to the souls of his feet. I like to try this on for size And he socked him right in the jaw They made up Like dude, there is wife like bucks. He's just completely He has not he's like non-stop mistresses. He's constantly like he'll like meet a guy He'd be like I had noticed I knew his child when she was in younger years and she turned into a beautiful woman So I decided to bed her in the heart. It was my business associate, but whatever that's not one of his business anyway and dude The at one point his wife obviously gets wise to one of his or his well He marries his mistress as his wife now and she gets wise to it She just attacks the lady and he just comes into like start He's like talking about how he's just obviously like he's like hold still He's like you've lost your mind. You've lost your mind. What are you doing? And then it's like at that back then he's like he could have just committed he could have fully been like Center to the institution But at one point the guy was just like Thinking about it and he goes he had to like hold her down and he was just like in an eliter day I could have choked her to death and son her up in a burlab sack and turn her in the river It's so funny to be like a three-piece student like in elder time. It was like I could choke this woman to kill her One on the way when the ride back Uh, I had every had felt asleep when I was driving so I put on post post office by Makowski and it was like out of nowhere to be just like talking about, you know going on his route and then this lady He just like yeah It was it was real uncomfortable because Shaw's ladies in the car So I don't know why that made it worse, but it's like a world in the car. Listen to that. He was like I See that coming. Yeah, it's sucked by nasty old one. No, wait No, he took a lady. Oh, yeah, yeah, and he was like he was like I finished her off and then I left Damn. Yeah, yeah, this guy's posters on my wall. Yeah Gasky's not great. Yeah, I just that that will call me a guard. He's usually just drinking and fighting. Oh, it's the post office. All right. Yeah Those guys got really let it air out. Yeah, now it's like You don't have any strong women of color in your book and now back then I'd be like I fucking killed that lady It's like this is based on my life. Yeah, one time on my post office route I saw a lady that kind of insinuated have sex. I went inside and right there and Anyway, then I got hammered and fist fought another guy Yeah, those days are wild and out for sure. Yeah. How are you doing on this? They were good. I think it's time for the Patreon. Yeah, true That's so many salacious stories. Oh, yeah, I mean this is nothing but headlines right now true All right, dirty gossip Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane secret podcast on Spotify do it