Ep. 563: Need a One-Word Theme for Next Year? We Review and Reveal Our Words

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Hello and welcome to happier a podcast where we talk about becoming happier this week we will talk about choosing your one word theme for the year. We will review our experiences with our word for this year and reveal our words for next year plus we share a hack for a fun and original way to celebrate the new year. I'm Wretched Reuben writer who studies happiness good habits human nature I'm in a home office and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister Elizabeth craft and Elizabeth I love picking our one word the answer the year love hearing what your choices. That's me Elizabeth craft a TV writer and producer living in LA and yes scratching I have come up with my word I was having trouble as you know but I landed on it and I'm very passionate about it. Excellent but before we jump in we got a few updates and this one is a five senses update so I particularly love this because of course ever since I wrote life in five senses I love anything related to the five senses. Ashley writes I recently needed a hair product with more hold for my four year old son and found some old herbal essence spray gel from the back of the bathroom cabinet. After spraying it on my son's hair my seven year old daughter said I smell a memory she remembers the scent from when I used to use it on her hair when she was younger it tickled me and made me think of you so I had to share I love that I love what a fun thing to say I smell a memory that's such a beautiful way to put that I love it. And Gretchen Jane had something to say about taking the trip we had to try this at home which was take the trip she said at 7.30 am the sky is starting to lighten with the rosy color over the red tile roofs reminds me of the rosy finger dawn from the Odyssey a new day and a fresh and young beginning of what is to come. I'm listening to your podcast at my kitchen table in my small apartment hotel never heard that grudge I guess it's an apartment hotel yeah that's called a part hotel okay a part hotel I have just started to take my trip I'm in province for six weeks to study French and explore the area through road scholar for the last 20 years plus if you ask what I wanted to do in the next five years I would have said to live for a period of time overseas. I'm in my seventies now I lost my cousin a few years ago I thought I was only inheriting two quilts our grandmother made but I also received a small inheritance that I never expected. It's taken me three years to decide what to do with it international education was very important to her and she left most of her money to the university where she taught to the international education program I decided this was a way to honor her and to honor myself. I also decided to take this trip by myself my husband walked the Camino by himself 10 years ago this is my Camino your podcast came at a perfect time to reinforce my decision. I also love your mantra scheduling is life I'm learning somewhat late how important this is this is so wonderful I love this yes such a great way as she said to honor her cousin and herself. That's such a great reminder take the trip so this make our try this at home suggestion is to choose your one word theme for the year now choose it the one word theme for the year is part of the design your year set. So there's the yearly challenge this year we had read 25 and 25 and we've had rest and walk go outside and then there's making the yearly list like the 25 for 25 list that we've done for several years. And we will be talking about our ideas for 2026 in the upcoming episodes super fun to reveal those now let's have you finalized your 26 for 26 list yet no I have not no I have way more than 26 items so I'm going to have to like. But then figure out what I want to do but this week we're talking about the one word theme and this is when you identify kind of you're overarching aim for the next year what you want the year to hold and you summarize it in a word or phrase yes I love the scratching yes and over the years we have found a couple things about picking the one word theme first of all. It's great if it has multiple levels of meeting when you pick novel and it was partly because you wanted to work on a novel writing a novel but you also wanted to do new things so it had multiple meetings. It's great when it's something that can be visualized or if you find a way to interpret it visually so that you can have a mug or a piece of jewelry or a t-shirt that helps remind you of your one word theme. And the most important thing is that it captures some aspects of what you want the future year to hold for you yes and I like it to be a positive word or word that to me feels positive and like having momentum as opposed to a just blah word yeah and along those lines I think that a concrete word is much more powerful than an abstract word the more abstract it is I think it just doesn't have the same punch yes. And so Elizabeth let's go over some of our previous years so what have you had in previous years so I had free time style hot wheels that was a year I got a car novel as you said home control number six that was related to being diabetic yeah lighter. Butterfly that was after COVID when I wanted to be a social butterfly yes right step and book yes and then this year's Gretch I had bounce yes so remind us of why you chose bounce well bounce I like is it again it's a very fun positive word it's almost a goofy word yes Gretch so many people wanted me to use Tigger as my symbol you know because Tigger bounces yes that's right. But I just don't relate to Tigger so that didn't work for me but here's some of the things about bounce on it referred to be doing more cardio it was theory bouncing up and down on the treadmill because on your 25 for 25 you had that you wanted to do orange theory how many times 100 times wow okay so that's a lot of bouncing still working on it also wanted to bounce back in the Hollywood situation because you know hollywood has taken a tumble so working on bouncing back yeah after the strike and all that yeah and then I like the idea of bouncing into the future because you know I have that thing I say have step into the future yes well bouncing into the future is even better yes I think a lot of what you wanted was resilience but the word resilience is not fun and it's also kind of overused and it's very abstract balance there's an airiness to it there's an energy to it there's a positivity to it that's very exciting yes and then Gretchen I landed on a kangaroo for my symbol for bounce because obviously kangaroos bounce also like that they box so they punch their way forward yeah and many listeners said although it turns out not to be strictly true that kangaroos only move forward which right who knew right so that's a fun thing too so that turned out to be a great symbol and I got a beautiful handmade mug with a kangaroo on it and what I love about it is I'll keep it probably forever and it'll always remind me of the word bounce it's funny listen whenever I come to your house I'm like let's clear the clutter in your office yeah this was your team theme war 24 and I gave you that bookmark with the lion on it you have all of these artifacts around and I do too but I guess I noticed the more when I'm in your place because when it's your own stuff there is a worry that things just fade into the background because you're so used to them but when I see something in your house I'm like oh I remember lightning bolt yes one thing I have paid more attention to in recent times is to choose something with my symbol that I do want to keep because I like having those artifacts right so I want to get something nice like last year for Christmas I got Sarah a really nice little tray from John dairy and with her feather symbol and I'm sure she'll keep that and it's just kind of a nice continuity thing if it was important to you one year it's probably important to you forever one of the points of having these artifacts is to visually remind you of this aim for yourself so when you see the kangaroo you'll remember okay I want to bounce I want to be resilient I want to have that airiness I want to step into the future it carries all those ideas with it yes but how about you Gretchen let's go over some of your words and your word of 2025 so I have to say Elizabeth I learned from you over the years because I had years where they were pretty boring and dull and then I caught from you how to do a better job so I think my more recent ones are better than my earlier ones so I had upgrade bigger lighten up repurpose delegate infrastructure growth open salt wave and revisited and the fact is all of these really were important to me as I see them I'm like I still talk about repurposing all the time it's a huge aim of mine and it's super important but it's not so interesting yes like I love salt and wave or my two favorite of yours well speaking of the visual symbol I picked the great wave which is turns out to be the most reproduced artwork in the world right now you know the great wave yeah by Huxi so whenever I would see it in the world I would be reminded oh it's the wave and people said me oh what about this Lego set and what about this coloring book it was a very fun thing to tap into and of course it would remind me of my one word theme and then I love salt I have a really almost mystical reverence for salt that came out of writing life in five senses and understanding like how truly extraordinary salt is this magical substance and so now I feel like even when I see a salt shaker in a diner I'm like I give respect to salt so that was a really powerful word to love that and then what was your word this year so this year I debated and debated between stone and door and I do love stone like stone is a really powerful word but in the end I picked door because of course I'm in the season of the open door which is my rebranding of the empty nest and to me the word door is I can go out into the world and I can also come back to the word of hospitality but it's also a word of refuge it's a word of transition because I'm in a transition time it's very physical like I think doors are really interesting in mythology doors thresholds transitions crossroads these are often considered to be places of great power and danger and opportunity and so it's been interesting for me to just explore the dooriness of it and so I've really enjoyed that symbol I think it was a really good symbol for me for this year but most of all because of open door and did you end up picking like one door as your personal symbol for the year or was it just all doors you know I was sort of hoping that I would find a physical thing and I have to say on my book tour gold gold gold star some reader gave me a frame door with a knocker and it just stands and I'm like very excited I'm going to set it up on a bookcase I have a whole place set up for it I haven't done it yet because of reasons that became a visual symbol and that just magically came to me during my book tour for secrets of adulthood so I did actually get a physical thing that sits on a shelf that is the door but I didn't find a necklace or you know a tote bag or a mug or something like that because door is just a part of something so I was very excited to get that yes and now when you see it you'll remember that no and I'll have it out for the rest of my life yes door is one I could see myself borrowing in the future when Jack goes to college yes that's true yes you're welcome to share thank you all right Gretch coming up we are going to reveal our words for 2026 but versus break it seems like the holidays just came on so incredibly fast I can't believe they're here and of course holidays means gift giving Gretch Adam was asking what I might want for Christmas I just pointed him to Wayfarer and especially to some lovely candlesticks that I really wanted because you know I'm into my table scape aspirations so I know that those lovely candlesticks will be coming my way and what's great is that Wayfarer has a huge selection of home items in every style which makes it easy to find a gift for everybody on your list not just for yourself as I did plus there's fast and easy delivery even on the big stuff so you can get what you need when you need it no more huge delivery fees for furniture get big stuff like soaps dining tables beds desks and more ship free get last minute hosting essentials gift for all your loved ones and decor to celebrate the holidays for way less to Wayfarer.com right now to shop all things home that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com Wayfarer every style every home this podcast is sponsored by naked wines naked wines is a wine club that directly connects you to the world's best independent wine makers so you can get world-class wine delivered straight to your door I love to drink wine Gretchen but I am not well educated it's hard for me to make picks based on anything besides the label so I love that naked wines delivers to my door bottles that I know are going to be great from independent wine makers now was the time to join the naked wines community head to nakedwines.com/happier click enter voucher and put in our code happier for both the code and password for $100 off your first order that's six bottles for only 39 99 with shipping included that's $100 off your first six bottles at nakedwines.com/happier and use the code and password happier for six bottles of wine for 39 99 Gretchen we take gift giving seriously but sometimes we do leave 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Did you know that infants are ready to learn sign language? two-year-olds are ready to learn the basics of science and three-year-olds are ready to learn coding? your child is ready to learn and at Primrose schools teachers make the most of this time by creating a joyful purposeful learning experience unlike any other for instance have you heard of the Primrose friends? In every Primrose school classroom teachers use these 12 lovable puppets to make character development joyful, meaningful and memorable from exploring generosity with Benjamin the Bear to practicing honesty with peanut the pony every friend plays a special part in helping children learn important values while having plenty of fun along the way they can all use some friends like that you can learn more at Primrose schools.com now enrolling infants through children age five that's Primrose schools.com for more information okay Elizabeth what is your word for 2026 and for people who don't remember explain how you were having trouble you usually don't have trouble but this year you did. Yes, Gretchen I was talking on more happier about how I was having trouble coming up with my word I don't know why normally a word just appears to me and it's very clear and I know what it is this year I really had to think about okay what do I want and how do I want to represent that I told you I consider the word beauty because I wanted to one look better and two appreciate the beauty around me but again beauty is such a kind of generic word didn't feel right right didn't quite get to where I wanted to go did you have like a long list that you were considering or was it like no you were just coming up with them one at a time? no I didn't have a long list at all I was just coming up with them one at a time and then once this came to me I immediately knew that was the word okay so what is it? It is x-ray okay explain I love it it's so concrete and it's from a whole different part of the world of symbols so what is the x-ray what does that mean? So x-rays because I really want to look within and find my peace my happiness all of that I really want to look within and that was sort of the beauty of it you know I wanted to appreciate beauty yeah but I really want to look inward interesting which I often don't do despite the fact that you know we're always analyzing everything yeah so I want to be good with self which is looking inward but then I also want to have x-ray vision for the future especially the future of Hollywood I want to be able to look ahead and see what's happening and act accordingly what I love is that it's two opposites which is looking within but then also looking out and ahead that's so interesting because it has to do with deepening perception the perception that's going on inside yourself but then it's also the perception of what's going out into the world to me x-ray vision has a feel of future right like again bouncing into the future it's right envisioning the future but at the same time being good with what is but it's also about seeing below surfaces or not getting distracted by what's on the top it really penetrating to what is the essence or what are the deeper trends or what is it all mean how are you diagnosing what's going on so that you're responding properly my whole thing is identify the problem and this is one of the things I'm writing about in my open door book which is if you don't identify the problem you can't come up with the correct solution and so it's really important to understand what's going on so that you can take the right action and as you're navigating the changes on Hollywood are you diagnosing what's happening yes that is a great point it's funny I was hearing a futurist talk and he said what we do is futurist is we don't think about the future at all we only try to understand very clearly what is happening right now he said most people don't really understand what's happening right now and if you understand what's happening right now you have a much better handle on what might happen in the future and I thought that was so interesting because it is it's really hard to understand what is happening right now yes oh that's so interesting well what is the symbol going to be okay well it's not going to be an x-ray if that's what anyone is thinking okay it's like a pussy bone or like a spoon inside somebody's stomach or something that's not fun it is an x and that x stands to me in addition for x-ray it's x marks the spot and x is also a kiss which I like because that's a very positive thing a kiss yes one of my symbols this year was a B because Sarah and I had a team theme which was flower and fly 2025 and our symbol was a B and I got a B ring so I've been looking at x rings of which there are a selection so I'm going to get a nice ring that is in the shape of an x and I think that'll be a really nice visual reminder that I can wear I like wearing my visual reminders in big meetings like I wear my B ring when we pitch it's like a good luck symbol yes yes it becomes a talisman so I'm very excited about it after having had trouble with it now I'm all about my one word theme and my symbol I feel like it's so imaginative that is just not a word or concept that I would have ever thought of in this context and it has that multiple layers of meaning oh you know what it always makes well maybe this is x marks the spot but when I think of an x I also think of like a treasure map where x is where the treasure is yes this is the place to focus or this is the place where you'll find what you're looking for yes oh I love that yes the treasure map see it just keeps going it just keeps going and that is the mark of a really really good one word theme is that it has multiple layers of meaning and can be invoked in many different context so well done all is it that was worth the weight okay great so what is your 2026 word okay so this year I debated I had two words that I really wanted to I was really debating so the first one and I kind of think this is what I'm going to pick next year so okay this is maybe foreshadowing but flower ever since I wrote life and five senses I've realized how much I love flowers they are beautiful they're sent which you know I love the sense of smell their site it's nature it's beautiful I love fake flowers I love real flowers should I have flower or flowers on that I thought flower because then it can be a noun and a verb and I want to grow and flourish and be beautiful and all these things and I love that word but it's not the word I chose I picked the word neighbor I love it yeah and this was a word and I forgotten this except I was reviewing my one word themes and my annual lists I was looking back through them and I realized that in 2024 this was a theme that I added in along the way and so clearly it's been in my mind for a long time but I feel like neighbor is what is called for now I feel like the energy and focus that I want to put out into the world is neighbor so I picked neighbor I like that Gretchen it's very transcendent yeah and it's profound the thing is it's also I'm kind of like it's gonna be a lot of work because one of the things that I want to do is I want to be more neighborly and my neighborhood talk to people in my neighborhood like when I'm out walking my dogs not just saying like oh hi but really try to connect remember their dogs name I always act like oh these people are never gonna show up again I'm like yes they are they live in my neighborhood and they walk a dog in the morning just like I do or when I'm in a store or I'm at a conference really try to engage with people I do tend to withdraw kind of like in my own world I think I'm an extroverted person but I'm not super outgoing in a neighborly way and yet I know that it would make me happier all the research suggests that being close to your neighbors makes you happier or having positive encounters is energizing for introverts and extroverts alike so having these little moments and then also it ties into my idea of culture you know I've had all these aims about my 30 days of culture and wanting to go to the museum every day but really a big thing of culture is just trying to be interested in how other people see the world and having that expressed in an elevated and deliberate way and so for me neighbor is also availing myself of that so that I do see the world through other people's eyes and I am experiencing other people's perceptions insights observations I want to connect with my actual neighbors and my friends I want to be friendlier and more open to strangers I want to open myself up to the world to be more willing to tolerate disagreement more open to other people's views love your neighbor as yourself I really want to have that energy I really want to go neighbor I think what's interesting about that Gretchen is that a neighbor is someone who you connect with sort of on a human level right yes neighbors on your block yes what you have in common is that your humans living on this block together yes but you can still keep each other's keys and yeah bring each other casserole so right I love that as the holidays get closer I always start thinking about ways to give gifts that feel really personal things that connect to memories or shared experiences and that is why I love using Shutterfly it's such a simple way to take the photos we already have all those great moments sitting on our phones and turn them into something lasting and meaningful one of my favorite holiday traditions actually involve Shutterfly just about every year I make custom photo mugs for my parents it's become something we all look forward to in my family we drink a lot of coffee so mugs are always welcome I choose photos that capture special moments from the past 12 months and it's always fun to look back and see how much has changed it's such an easy gift to make and it really brings joy every time every time I go home to Kansas City we're all constantly using the mugs from across the years so it's fun to see them still in rotation and be reminded of all the happy times we've shared also as my sister Elizabeth often points out any gift that has been personalized or customized feels especially thoughtful and meaningful now I also use Shutterfly to create photo books which ties into one of my favorite happiness aims to be a storehouse of happy memories every year I make a yearly list tied to the year so for example in 2025 I made a list of 25 things I wanted to get done in 2025 every year on this list I include the item make photo albums and this will be the very first thing I add to my 26 for 26 list around the holidays each year I go through the pictures on my phone and pick my favorites to put into photo books I always have so many photos that I make multiple books it's like a mini reflection exercise a way to celebrate all the little moments that made the year special I use these books as a kind of family diary of the places we went and the things we did my daughters will often pull out one of our many photo books every anthem and pour over the photos from the previous years it's always fun to scroll through the photos of the previous year and be reminded of all our adventures this past year will feature a lot of photos of our new puppy Taffy the reading retreat that I took with my sister Elizabeth this summer a family vacation to Croatia with my in laws I'm always surprised to see just how much happens in a year they don't have a great memory so it makes me very happy to memorialize everything in a photo album so I don't forget about the things that have happened and Shutterfly makes it so simple I always use their autofill feature which arranges your photos automatically but it's also easy to make changes if you want so in just a few minutes you can create something beautiful something you'll actually look through again and again I have dozens dozens of these photo books that's what I love about Shutterfly it helps you make gifts that mean something whether it's a mug a photo book or even a holiday ornament these are just things you buy their memories you can hold and for grandparents friends or anyone you want to feel close to a photo gift is always such a heartfelt surprise so if you are looking for a way to make your holiday gifts much more meaningful this year Shutterfly makes it easy to create something special from the photos you already love make something that means something this holiday shop Shutterfly.com/happier and start customizing today right now you'll get free shipping on your order with promo code Happier this promo can be stacked with any other offer details are on the site that's Shutterfly.com/happier promo code Happier because the best gifts don't just mark the season they celebrate the moments that make us happiest but so okay here's this idea side note this is an idea where I wish I could just make this happen because I love this idea so much so here's my idea and I feel like it's very neighbor so we are coming up on the 250th anniversary of the United States and if I were the boss of the world what I would do is I would have a celebration of states and so every month or however often a different state would take a turn and there would be a celebration of that state and there would be a huge gathering where the celebrities of that state they would perform or readers would read singers would sing actors would perform something so many states have like a song that everybody in the country loves like sweet home Alabama or whatever we talk about their cuisine and maybe there'd be like a documentary that would be shown that would be like highlights from their history and cool tourist things to do who knew that you could do this in Missouri Nebraska it's not for everyone or whatever it might be because I think there's so much in the states that we don't even know about in the United States and we'd get everybody really excited to travel and experience different states we'd all learn about our history as the United States we would all feel closer because we would all know more about other states I would just love the neighborhood of states to feel more energized that is my dream is to be the MC of that where you're just come on down North Dakota it's your chance to shine and for a month we just be like whoa who knew there was so much cool about North Dakota yes every state is glorious and it's every state is glorious in its own way but so let's just what should my visual be for neighbor of course the first thing one thinks of is Mr Rogers Mr Rogers because he says won't you be my neighbor which is a beautiful theme question won't you be my neighbor so in a way that's what I'm saying to the world won't you be my neighbor but also I need to be the Mr Rogers who is inviting that so with Mr Rogers if you are using Mr Rogers as your inspiration rather than Mr Rogers himself you could use a card again he has an iconic card again or the trolley he has the trolley that would come down every episode and a trolley is a very neighborly it is a very neighborly thing that's good that's not an obvious symbol for neighbors so that's interesting okay I was thinking about Mr Rogers so that got me thinking about Susie me street and if you remember the song of Susie me street it goes come and play everything's a okay friendly neighbors there that's where we meet can you tell me how to get to Susie me street so there's the Susie me street neighbors okay but here's another symbol very different a cup of sugar because I think of when you say keep your keys that's a thing neighbors do but you also say would you borrow a cup of sugar and there's that great outcast song hey yeah which I love one of the lines is lend me some sugar I am your neighbor I've been looking for all these incidences of neighbor so I do think that cup of sugar is interesting but again you're not going to have a ring that is a cup of sugar you're not going to get a t-shirt that is a cup of sugar that's not very good right yeah you also were thinking about a welcome mat maybe a welcome mat is good now you're not going to get a welcome mat t-shirt but I could literally get a welcome mat that says welcome yes that would be good I could get a dollhouse welcome mat and put it on my the shelf by my desk there's something kind of interesting about that and what I like about welcome mat is it ties to door yes it does perfect transition people are saying you don't want to be a door mat so I'm not a door mat it's a welcome mat very different but then another thing that I was thinking about neighbor is so giving Tuesday is an organization that I love and the whole idea of giving Tuesday is there's Black Friday there's Cyber Monday and these are all about spending and buying but giving Tuesday is a day where you think about where are you going to give because something that can happen at any time often happens at no time so let's pick a date it's giving Tuesday this year's December second and so I was thinking for giving Tuesday what would I give to that would be the most neighborly what is the neighborly organization so I was thinking maybe the food bag maybe that's kind of like the cup of sugar idea you think of neighbors like the New York common pantry or something but that was a good idea of how do you make a decision based on your one word theme right if my theme is neighbor I would make a different decision that if my theme were something like read book then I would be like no I'll give to the New York public library or whatever so I thought that was a fun thing yes so you're still settling on your symbol sounds like yeah but I'm thinking maybe a welcome mat that might be the best because it ties to door but I do like the way yours lends itself to the mug t-shirt jewelry so I'm gonna keep thinking anyway listeners if you have any idea how would you turn neighbor into a visual symbol now listen you and Sarah you mentioned you had your team theme of flower and hive 2020 what was it flower and fly 2025 and then we be was our symbol and then we would have a hive 25 yes that's when we would get together and work for a day that's right again I think we'll keep the term hive 25 because we love it sure yeah stay tuned we'll be talking about our theme for 2026 on happier and Hollywood and how about you Gretchen does your team have a theme yes our team theme is distil so distil is to extract the essential meaning or most important aspects of something and that relates to a lot of things that we're gonna do in 2026 so that turns out to be a really helpful team theme for us and when I think of distil I think of like a beaker like a very old-fashioned beaker with drops of clear liquid just dropping in drip drip with only the essence of something and so I feel like that's distil I like that word there's an efficiency element to the word distil yes there's an efficiency element so let us know if you do try this at home and how choosing a one word theme works for you what did you choose last year how did it work for you what are you choosing for this year we cannot get enough love to hear these words people come up with the most imaginative terms and I think it really gets people's imaginations firing to hear what other people have chosen and by the way it's completely fine to use someone else's theme as your own theme that is absolutely permitted let us know on Instagram Threads TikTok Facebook drop us an email at [email protected] or as always you can go to the show notes this is HappierCast.com/563 for everything related to this episode all right Gretsch coming up we've got a new year's eve hack but first this break are you a trailblazer a risk taker someone with countless tales of epic adventure well I'm not quite there yet but I'm working on it even the boldest among us started small daring themselves to reach greater goals each day if you're looking to take on a challenge like that the defender is too 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platform head to squarespace.com/happy for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code happy to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain the holidays are such a joyful time but let's be honest they can also be a lot there's so much to cook so much to clean and unfortunately so much food waste you know we're always thinking about the small things we can do that make an impact not just for our own happiness but for the planet too and that's why I'm such a big fan of my mill food recycler mill is odorless and fully automated eliminating all the pain points associated with old-fashioned compost pales and smelly garbage cans it makes keeping food out of the trash as easy as dropping it in it can be hectic in my home around the holidays but mill keeps me keeping by cool when I'm hosting with all the food prep and guess arriving I never have to stress about the trash plus it looks super cool and modern in my kitchen add mill to your wish list or gift one now get up to $200 off during their biggest sale of the season first day November 20th through Monday December 1st miss the sale you can still get $75 off with code happy visit mill dot com slash happy that's mill dot com slash h a p p y okay this hat comes from our listener misty and there's a lot of people who don't enjoy a traditional New Year's Eve and she has a different way to approach it that sounds like a lot of fun yeah she said hey y'all i was just listening to the episode about different reasons to throw a party i'm not much of a party thrower i'm a bit of a homebody and an introvert but every year for new years i get two or three of my closest friends together we draw tarot cards for the upcoming year one for each month and one card as the theme of the year and then we review our cards from the year before we spend time talking about our goals our struggles and achievements i make a huge pot of from scratch beef stew and we drink wine and just celebrate the turning of a new year even though there are only a few people it still feels like a party because it's a tradition we've done for several years in a row well gritch and i would love to spend my new year's Eve this way yes we had said that it took eight people to be a party but i think maybe you don't need eight people it's more like the party spirit is the party spirit and i think it sounds like so much fun i love the tradition and it's a great way to look back look forward which is such a great way to head into the new year yes misty we love it and now for de meritz and gold stars gritch it's your turn this week for happiness to merit okay so this is a merit that i've given to myself before but i have to give it to myself again so that i remember not to do it so i was in bed and i had a thought of something really important and i was like oh this is a really important use of idea it's so important and so useful that there's no way i'll forget it and elizabeth you can guess what happened you forgot i forgot it i distinctly remembered having the thought oh this is so important that i won't forget it and then i forgot it and so my de merritt is that i didn't write it down yeah and elizabeth one of the things that you happiness bullied me into was watching madman and you said it was great and that i would love it and you were thousand percent correct i love love love madman and there is an amazing scene in madman i'll put a link in the show notes where the character Paul Kinsey forgets to write something down and a whole scene comes it's about an ad campaign that they're trying to do for western union telegram it's amazing so i'll put that link in the show notes but it's a good reminder there is no idea that is so big that you will not forget it that is just the truth yes true true lesson i learned over and over again oh yeah so let's take us up what's your gold star okay i am giving my gold star to a television show it is to squid game the challenge season two on Netflix um great you know i love a good reality competition like survivor yeah i thought how could they come up with something totally different and fresh and new but that's right compelling and great characters will squid game the challenge season two i haven't seen season one i will see it is absolutely fantastic it is based on as you might guess the drama show squid game it is adults buying for over four million dollars who playing games similar to what they play in squid game instead of being killed they are shot with a paintball and it is just edge of your seat yelling at the tv loving the people hiding your eyes binge-worthy it's fantastic oh my gosh you've gotten me wanting to watch it i don't usually like that kind of show but it sounds so good it's great i love it so if you're looking for something over the holidays to watch with the family this is super fun excellent well the resource for this week if you are still searching for the right gifts to give to the people in your life if you take ten minutes and go through my new gift idea generator worksheet there's a few prompts and you will come away with some real personal ideas tailored to each recipient and if you need more help there are five gift guides and the gift appreciation quiz at happiercast.com/giftgiving lots of ideas and guidance there Alyssa what are we reading what are you reading? i am right now just keeping up with my daily warrant piece reading by Leo Tolstoy and i am reading Lake Effect by Cynthia de Prius Sweeney and that's it for this episode of happier remember to try this at home choose your one word theme for the year let us know what you picked we want to know thanks to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at lemonada and here's your rhyming reminder and we really mean it very sincerely if you're a fan of the podcast review it fast it really helps other people discover the show until next week i'm Elizabeth Kraft and i'm Gretchen Rubin thanks for joining us onward and upward Alyssa one of the things that i think about x-rays is all the like funny x-rays where it's like a dog stomach with a Christmas ornament in it or whatever there's a lot of sort of comical things with x-rays i feel like there's a lot of New Yorker cartoons with x-ray jokes i bet that you're going to find a ton of material about x-rays yes or a lot of Gary Larson cartoons we got to look up the Gary Larson x-ray of confident there's a Gary Larson cartoon yes from the onward project hi Gretchen Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson we know you're the queen of giving advice so we wanted to get a few tips from you you know Gretchen a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes what advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions Craig Michelle i am so happy to be talking to you here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective so consider questions like this what activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me do i spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but it's not very important to me if i could magically change one habit in my life what would i choose and here's a question would i like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude or would i like to have more time with friends you know just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier with greater self-knowledge we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves our own nature our own interests our own values in my own case i have found that the more my life reflects my nature the happier i get and the more grounded i feel when i'm going through a period of major change or transition for more great advice search for i am oh with michelle abama and kreg robinson wherever you get podcast you can listen to esa ray on letting go of certain friendships kiki palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success seth and loren rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more