Ep. 55 - SPECIAL GUEST, Bi Erasure, The Threat of #dadtok

Fabulous. Yeah. Look at you. You're looking real messy. That's a rich. And this is cheap therapy. Guess this evening came all the way from my uterus and traveled via East New York Brooklyn to be here with us. And we are so proud. How are you feeling today, sir? I'm a little-- not the point. Is it getting late? Are you ready for a baba? He really needs his baba. We have our guests here. Mom cozy, if you want to sponsor me, go right ahead. Here we go. This is the mom cozy of let chain and water warmer. We're making him a baba, and then he's going off. But, sir, how are you today? Did you mind walking us through your day, your emotions? [COUGH] How are you feeling in your body, kind of like everything? [MUSIC] He's being so good and so sweet he's been giving kisses and hugs. Okay, here. What about the pacifier? Yeah, pacifier's in his zone. Gary, so let's check in with each other. Yeah. It's so much going on. I know, so much. No, Melissa really was pushing for this. And I was like, I don't know. Well, there wasn't an option. It was either not record today or saying come. So I was like also, how fun. I was going to make you happen with Sandra and Dolas. Oh, really? Well, I feel bad. And also like, why, he's great. I feel bad for them, they're retired. Yeah, but we ask for their services quite a bit. Low key, I don't want to hear it, especially, especially my mom, because I'm like, you know, before my dad retired, she was not such a pick me. But now that my sorry, now that my dad's retired, all she wants to do is hang out with him, all she wants to do is hang out with Delis. Oh, shit. What I want to say is that it does hurt my feelings. You know what? Let's jump into it. Let me check in about Sandra and Dolas. Please. I, by no means, am ungrateful for the help that they give me, because I know-- and again, I want to say, I'm not ungrateful for my village. I have such a beautiful gorgeous village. But with the two of them, sometimes they act like they're so busy. And it's like maybe you ain't got none to do. Well, in the house, hanging out. But this is what they've been waiting for. They're both retired. It's, you know, this is their time. Yesterday, my mom was at my house. It's contraption. And I was like, mama, girl. And she's like, oh, no, I have to go home to cool. I have to go home to cool. So I'm like, hey, don't worry about it. Like, I got some food in my fridge. Why don't you just take that sip for dad? She's like, well, I actually have this and this and this. So I was like, you mean you need to go home and heat up food for him? Before, daddy was retired. He was running around in the streets. Because he wasn't home to hang out with. It's cute. Well, no, the only-- I'm defending her. Well, well, actually, I shouldn't be surprised. Yeah, that's my girl. And also, I mean, the only thing I would say for you is how much you wanted-- you'd have a baby. So she could take care. So that I will say she asked for it. That truly is my check-in. I would complain about my husband again, but at this point, it's getting monotonous. Repeditive. Is it the same fight? Did you get an apology? You know, he says that he apologized. It just didn't fulfill anything for me. Do you know when you're like, you want something from someone and then they give it to you? But it's like-- Well, now it's too late. You're so late. It feels like I had to tell you this. It doesn't feel genuine. And I don't know. I just want to-- it's also ramanon. And I have to keep my mind on myself. But it's ramanon. My husband is Muslim. He's hungry. Yeah. It's a lot of attitude. Like today, he was giving me a lot of sassiness. It's not even like-- Can you imagine how we would be fasting? I tried it one time. I tried it two and it was really hard. Awful. No, I get it. But I'm also like-- In my defense, he's been fasting since he was 10 years old. It's still not fun. That's 28 years of fasting. I don't think that I could do it. And I think you're going to cut him some slack just a little bit, just a little bit. I don't know. I don't know. I just also think that when you have a baby with someone, you just look at them a little bit more critically. Sure. Yeah. I think that's what it is. Like when he reads the baby a book, I'm like, what is this? What? It's just no-- Oh, oh. --about his reading. Voices, no care-rector, teveletment. He's just like reading the book. He's like, the baby went down this street. There was a hill. Then he went over the hill. It's like, this is so boring. My son deserves trauma. He deserved character development. He deserves accents and voices. I fed the baby in a wig yesterday. One of you at the theater degree, and one of you has a full-time job. I'm just saying. And I'm just like-- and then the baby obviously knows that I'm more of a vibe. OK. I don't even know that he prefers me. He loves his dad. He's a boy. I think he's just always on the staff. I mean, I'm ever referred to you reading books. Oh, well, yeah. He prefers me reading books. But just in general, I just feel like-- Give moms their flowers. Like, fathers, even if you're a present father, even if you're a great dad, it's just like, you'll never be as good as a mom. I think that's part of the reason men are angry. Mm. I think-- They said that earlier. That was one of Zanes' takes. He better not be angry. I'm so worried about who he becomes. No, he was saying that's why men, not including himself. Facts. He's doing great. He's going to be a little cancer baby with a sensitive heart. Oh, it'll be so cute. Yep. Two cancer men in the room-- Darah from Summer House-- Summer House said this about KJ. She said he is a man who is written by women, period. And I want Zane to be a man who is written by women. I love that. And I was like, that is the highest of compliments to his mother. That's really good. Wow. Like a spank? Oh, pretty good. 100%. Are you joking me? Yeah. I walked in today in Frank's like, I love your outfit, Carolyn. I'm like-- He comes off that way on the show. He's so sweet. He doesn't play games. He decided he liked her. And he was like, I got a tinky ticket. Yeah. Like, we're hanging. Yeah. So sweet. Yeah, that show is just such a delight now. Maybe he needs to give West some ideas. What is this being such a pussy right now? I'm talking, idiot. Sorry, Zane. Sorry, Zane. Zane is not care about it. She's so on the sleep. He's asleep. Inchella. Turn up. So what are you checking in about? You know, I'm just happy to be here because I was really hungover for two days. I'm on a two-day hangover. So I would-- And what you're going to make it-- No, I just had like two really boozy dinners. Oh, that's fun now. It was really fun. I just was feeling-- you know, it's like when you're hungover and sometimes all of a sudden your perception of reality is not as good as it should be because you're just-- today I was not as positive. I know, but it's like-- but I think can I just say the first hangover you wake up the next day. But then when you go have that second boozy dinner, it's so fun. Do I let it fall? No, of course. I was having so much fun and got my period. Horrible. I have a period right now, too. Really? Oh, we're synced up. And she-- our executive producer, Jasmine, also has her period. We were talking about it in the car on speakerphone and how many of you was like, oh. We weren't always synced up, I don't think. No, we weren't in-- We weren't in danger. I got my IUD now. Right. There's something about having a rough-- you know your period is because I was so emotional, literally so emotional and so on edge. And I could cry at the jump of them. But knowing that that's there until the period actually comes, you feel so great. And then the period comes and you're like, I think there's a little part of me that has a fear that like, am I pregnant? Even though I haven't IUD. I know. Well, you know, you jinxed me. You did say you're trying to get me pregnant. I jinxed you. You jinxed me, but you spoke truth to power. My little sister came in town. It was so fun. I was so excited to introduce her to everyone and be like, this is my sister. She has a house. She owns a house. And everyone was like, what? That's fucking crazy. I was like, I know. I want to know. Is she gone? She has. She was here for like business for her job. OK, where? She's so important. She's a shop. A business woman. I know. It was really sweet. Wait, so how did you pull it together? How did you overcome your hangover? I feel like this is good. I took a bath. I ordered this issue. Did you use the weed bomb? No, of course. I wasn't going to be high as a fucking kite for this on top of hungover. I got her a weed bath bomb. I know. I'm so excited. I got to maybe after this, maybe I'll get back in the bathtub. OK. That was something that my psychic therapist recommended to me because I have been so investigative about the files. It was taking a toll on me mentally. And that was a ritual she told me to do, not that I wasn't already taking a lot of baths, but like very, very salty baths with also baking soda. It makes you really sweat, and then just like imagining your stress going out with the water down the drain. - That's very, like that kind of, that's where you're at. - It's woo-woo, yeah. - It's so woo-woo. - Yeah, of course. - And then rose Ayurveda, actually Ayurveda rose oil. Are you ready to lead with love? - Whatever. Okay, I will sidetrack us one more time, just 'cause I wanna bring up that video that young me recorded. - Oh my God. - That's why I know it's getting my period. - Yeah, I was sobbing, but it was so beautiful. - Mayor is an amazing comedian and writer. If you haven't read her book, it's called, I'm laughing because I'm crying, or I'm crying because I'm laughing, one of the two. And I don't know. I learned so much about Korean culture from that book, and she does a really great job kind of integrating all of that into her comedy in such a funny way. And then she will make you sob. - Like, that's the thing. She is so talented in the way that she like, can make you laugh in one minute, and then teach you something in the other, and then make you cry. But she basically wrote something about Woody Allen's stepdaughter/wife. And she was emailing Jeffrey Epstein, and I don't want to try to explain it, but she's Korean, and young me basically talks about her in the context of a Korean, I don't want to say fairy tale or a myth. - Yes, a Korean fable myth and talks about her in that context. But the way that she speaks about it is so interesting. We're all angry, we're angry, Epstein smiles, but the way she talks about her, I mean, obviously she was this man's stepdaughter and then became his wife, so you know, some fucked up shit happened, and she was a victim, and it just kind of like contextualizes like, how that person could be a victim, and how it turns into them also being like, a part of the predatory issue. - Yeah, I mean. - Oh, it made me cry so hard. - Yeah, it was really just well written. What I love about a lot of young me's work is the, like, explanation of motherhood, like where it like completely transcends culture, but like the way that she talks about like, Korean mothers and their daughters is really fascinating. I thought it was just so important. - She is one of the people who made me not afraid to be a mom, 'cause she's a cool mom. - Yeah, I mean, there's an old episode of this podcast from the talk about it, and it was really, but I'm saying like, the energy is just, she's so real in the same way that she talks about how beautiful it is, she talks about how hard it is. And I think that like, her talking about both of those things makes me be able to approach it in like a Virgo kind of, like realistic way, whereas 'cause I feel like there's either or, it's either, it's amazing, it's amazing, or oh my god, it's so worth seeing this. - I don't think so. I, well, I see her. - No, not her, I mean, in general. - In general. - Like the world shows you motherhood is like, being a baby or sitting. - Right, to me, she's just very real about it, and very sentimental sometimes, and her kid is so cool, maybe it's 'cause I interact with them in person more. Like, it's not like, here's the highs and here are the lows. She's just like, we're living, and we're having a good time. It's really sweet. - It's beautiful. But just seeing her watching that video, maybe be like, there's a softness, there's like a beauty, there's like something to be talked about, there's something like, precious about the world that we live in, and precious about people like her. That just like made me feel good. - Yeah, I know, I feel like that's the point of TikTok. - Is it? Well, that's the good part of TikTok, I think. - That's what I mean. - Yeah. - That's like the light of it. - Mm-hmm. - It's just to be something like that, and it have to make me like, go to the bathroom at my job and cry for a minute. - Like, oh my god. Just beginning of your job. I sent you a video about how this woman take on how training corporate America can be was so funny. It made me giggle. - Yeah. - It was so like unique, and she was just like, this fuck-ass job. - Which sounds nothing like me. - No, no, no, no, no, I'm not saying that. You feel that way. But I mean, you do have some news. - I did, yeah. I did recently get let go. - Oh. - And I think that we all knew it was not working out. And I was, I received that. I received it. (laughing) - I was like, you're so sad, Melissa. - I was very sad. - Yes, I was very sad. - I was very sad about it. - Shook it. - And yeah. I do feel that it is no way to live. - To be going to an office in five days a week. And that is not going to anyone who does it. I did it, and I just think culturally that should change. It's just a lot of fucking time. - It is. - That's what I'll say. - I mean, it just depends on who you are and where you are in life. 'Cause let me tell you something. Let a corporate job call me. I'll come and run it tomorrow. - And that's how I felt when I got the job. It was really, you know, this whole thing has kind of been like a good reflection process. 'Cause it did burn me out so much. It was really getting to be like a lot for me energetically. And I was struggling. - I love when you say energetically. - It was. - It was really hard to go every day of the week or Monday through Friday. It was just a lot. - And, but then I thought back, like when I got that job, it seemed like literally it fell into my lap. It was so perfect. Great commute. You know, pretty good vibes, you know, at first. And because I had the energy and I needed it so badly. We had just gotten back from Italy, we had a wedding. I needed a job. Bad thing. I was like freelance writing only. And just like that lifestyle is also job. - It's hard 'cause you're waiting for those checks. - You're waiting for those checks. And I loved all of the sudden I have just money automatically. Like that was really cool. I will miss the drops. But I do think that I could have held on much longer mentally. So that is my tea. - Is it weird to say that life is long and if you want to get another job, you get another job and if you hopefully in Charlotte, don't need to get another job. You don't need to get another job. - Yeah, I mean like, is it daunting to think about freelancing again, sure? But I'm also just kind of like, okay, I think I got this. - But you've done it before. - I've done it before. I'm like two years, what I will say, this job made me like a lot more just professional. Like now I've been waking up early five days a week for a year and a half, almost two years. I know the energy that it takes to do this outside stuff outside of that. You know what I mean? Like it really kind of opened my band with because it had to. So it feels good that I'm like, you know, of course I've been hungover for the two days. But starting next week, when I'm not hungover, I'll feel very kind of ready and to fucking send it. - At the end of the day, there is something to be learned from corporate culture, from corporate America. - And I appreciate it. - If you take what you learn and you apply it to your life, like there is something that you can get out of it. - 100%. - You just can't run around life. I mean, you can, but it is harder to run around in life without a little bit of structure. - Yeah, that's, yeah. I definitely gave me structure. And I did like it. I did like it. I just have to build the structure and the systems for myself. - I feel like when it's nice weather and I'm outside, I'm just so distracted. But we also can do work days. - We can do work days. - Yeah. - We can scheme, we can plot on this, on the podcast. We can scheme and plot on our podcast. I'm so excited for you. - Thank you. - Okay, and oh my God, this episode is so you, like you have a lot going on. Also last night you went to a brand dinner. - Oh yeah, I think yes I did. - Come on, brand. - I did for the app field fun. They basically made this part of the app called Reflections that asks you questions about yourself to get, to know yourself better and what you want before you jump in to their app and you know, fuck two couples at the same time or whatever you do. - That would be hell. - Sure. But yeah, I think it was, it was a really fun dinner because it was very interactive. They had questions for everyone. I had a very good part of the table. I was really happy about that. I was all the writers and artists and stuff. - I was gonna ask you who was there. - Well, I don't know if I should name names. - Were there any influences that I might recognize? - Maybe. You never, I'm never shocked to how many influencers you know and can make it. - I love influencers. I'm a big influencer fan. - Yeah. But this was like all invented and programmed by a doctor from University of Michigan. - There was a lot of Michigan girls there. It was really cute. But basically I was sitting next to a guy who had been with a man for eight years, but that man, his partner, does not identify as gay guy. It doesn't really like to identify as anything. So we were just talking about that and then the girl to my left was like in a heterorrelationship, just realizing that she, might like women as well and she was kind of asking us like, "Oh, does it bother you?" Like, "I'm by. She's like, "Do you not like, would you worry about like, buy a racer?" Like, as that's to both of us because he, like, "No, because I'm talking about it so much. I'm not erasing it. I'm telling everyone. I think there is a level of sensitivity, like, not that I'm not out and proud. But it's a different life to be a bi woman in a relationship with a woman. I've done that where, you know, I've been on a date with a woman and there's like, a little kid who's like, "There's two girls, kids, you know what I mean?" It's a different experience to be out in the world in a gay relationship. So I don't feel like I need to be fucking carrying that up by a racer. Like, there's bigger issues. I'm in a privileged position that I'm in a, had a relationship. I love when the girls are in touch with reality. Period. Thank you. No, I love it because I feel like a lot of girls are doing exactly the opposite of what you're doing. Or it's like, running their mouth out of it. But it's like, "Babe, let's focus on the real shit." Yes, by a racer does this. Oh, a lot. But if it's like not happening to you actively in this moment. Right. Well, yeah. Or is it? I feel like people claim in a lot. I mean, it's like, okay. Like, if I don't bring it up, is it erased for someone? Yeah, it's like, I'm not gonna be a real shit. I'm not gonna be a real shit. I was like, "Curried." It sounds like they're having an amazing time. Is that enough? I think for me, yes. I don't think I need to be, I don't know. I just think there are bigger issues than fire rayshare. But that being said, yes, nobody's like, take by women's rights. Exactly. The LGBTQIA is busy. And there's a bee. For some real shit. Right. There's a bee in there. So it's like, there's representation. But the main point was people do want to just put you in a box. And this guy was like, we don't like love going to like gay guy only events because that's not our vibe. It's not like our culture. We have a lot of straight friends. We have a lot of my friends, whatever. But when people see them together, they're going to be like, "Oh, check, gay guy." "You know what I mean?" And he's like, but it doesn't affect my life. Yeah. In any way, like just if people don't know that about him. Is everyone from New York like living in New York? Yeah. In my era of the table, yes. Yes, okay. Yeah. And then like, it was kind of fun. Like, there's stuff on the cards where it's like, oh, is it normal to love more than one person or to want other people in your relationship? And we were kind of like, okay, divine normal, first of all. Like, that's kind of what we were ready to put it. But like, everyone was kind of sharing their experience or maybe ideas of what it is. Like, one girl across the table was like, I don't know. I fucking like my life. I got a boyfriend. We're going to get married like whatever. Like, I don't want to complicate things. I was like, tea. Tea. There's, you know, other people who are like full poly like dating other couples, all of that stuff. So it was a fun mix and it was just fun to like speak and talk about everything. I'll tell you one thing that I did say that everyone came for me about. Nobody agreed with me. And that was they were like, should you go through your partner's phone? And I get how that sounds. But I was struggling to explain to them that sometimes it's just for sport. Exactly. I agree. If I can go through my man's phone, it is literally for sport. Everybody was like, it's not about I don't try to know. That's why I said I was like, actually, I really thought I was going to find something. It would not be fun for me. But I was like, I was just like, it's curiosity. It's hyper vigilant sure. And that's something I always need to work on. But I'm just kind of like, hyper vigilant. What's wrong with hyper vigilant though? And also it's only bad for me. You mad at me because I don't trust them. I trust them. I trust them. But I don't trust them. That's what I was kind of saying. And I only do it when I like, it's not like I'm like, well, it's Tuesday on a 3 p.m. I'm going to go through his phone. Just to move straight. It's a mood strike. Thank you. Everybody thought I was a psychopath for a while. And then they forget about it. And then they bring it up again. Then they talked about that. Do you have Frank? So I do again, but I didn't for a while because you turned it off for some reason. And actually, I was like, this is kind of better for me mentally. You think so? Because I was kind of like, you haven't left yet. You haven't left yet. Like it was kind of nice. Oh, it's okay. I'm back on now. So we'll see how it goes. My biggest reason in the beginning for his location. Well, one of my biggest reasons there were many was because what if I'm at home and I'm masturbating? And how many is on his way coming home? My phone always connects to his Bluetooth. This is my favorite story ever. Talk about the time where it happens. Exactly. I'm watching porn. She's turning it up. She's turning up the volume. I'm like, why can't I hear it? And it's connected to homing out homies speakers on the drive. Just come home in the driveway. And he's like, what the fuck? And then he goes like, it could have been a group sex thing. It doesn't even matter. But he was coming home. So it wasn't like, it was not a passenger. It was no passenger. It was no passenger. But the point is, oh my god, it's the funniest thing. That's my number one reason. Like literally last night I go, I went and I checked his location. I said, okay, I am free to masturbate. But also in general, it's a fact. We masturbating one time. But it was like, I was just spooked and surprised. And we just had sex. It was fine. But I was like, you know, you think you're gonna get murdered? You're so murdered. And also, how many such approved that we did not have sex. He was like, he came and he was like, - Hmm. (laughing) - Look at you. Look at you. I see you. And I was like, "You're not gonna shade me for me." That's such a woman. - That is so fucking funny. And yeah, I think you do need the location for that. - I need the location for that. You should have a long one. - You should have it on the reasons. But it's a very valid reason. - Yeah. But I think, like, as a whole, this part of the app is great because to ask yourself these questions or to get yourself to open up a little bit more before you start conversations or experiences, could be good. So I thought it was a fun, well thought out product that they were putting on. - Productless. - And a good dinner. I was at Casino, Lower East Side, great food. - Cute, I've never been there before. - Great drinks. - Yes, fun. You sent me a video about call out culture for men, which I loved. - Yeah. - And I thought about this just now too. You know what I said? Like, Jar said that KJ was a man written in women, like a man written by women. - Yeah. - I think that like, that's also another practice by a man written by a woman to call out other men. - Yeah, basically, I think these kids are in high school. - They're young. - And yeah, I mean, now it's got like millions of years when she was basically like, say what you said again. And he forces his friend to repeat what he said about women, which was some of them need to get slapped. And this is why we don't let them run for president. - I wish you could have seen this chart. And that was the thing that I wanted to refrain from doing, was like talking about that little boy's looks. 'Cause everyone was-- - I love it, I love it, you're not. - I know, I love it. - I hate him. The one who said that women should be slapped, just imagined. - The boy who did it, that strategy is amazing. He's like, we had talks with him before. They were not working. He kept saying shit. And humiliation is actually a very good tactic for that. Obviously, he didn't want everyone to do that. Why are you saying something? You don't want everyone to hear. - But you don't want everyone to hear. - Everyone in the world to hear. So I really thought that was awesome. I think that men have the wherewithal to do that in any setting. And they need to be taking more opportunities to do that. Enough is enough. - Enough is enough. And I do like just the idea of that video going viral to show other men like, look how much people appreciated this guy saying like, nah, you can't act like that. - Yeah. You can't behave that way. - And not even saying anything like mean to the guy, just repeat what you said. If you said it, say it again. If you stand by it, say it again. I mean, what upset me was I was like, on TikTok when people were like talking about the one boy's looks, I was like, you have to be careful with that because the whole reason why he probably went down that red pill pathway or that rabbit hole was because he's like nerdy looking, classic looking, and so on. So then they start feeling isolated and then they find their community online. - Right. - So it's like, you want to resist from like being like, well you're ugly and you've got got like, he literally loved the like, - Some women went the other way because, I mean, I didn't even know if it's worth like talking about with the, on another TikTok. Basically this woman was like, I'll like, give it to you. And he was like, Stitcha, like, you're just saying that to a 15 year old girl, - You're old boy. - Give it to who, give it to the one that was defending or the one that was-- - Inzelie. - Inzelie. - Because she was like, "I'm a fuck you" into like your woman. - Exactly. And I don't think that's a route. - We have got to say, you know what? - I bet it's how I was like-- - I don't think that's what I said. - I agree with you, but I also think that like, you know what, that's a woman thinking about it. She's thinking. She's wrong. She's made a mistake. All I'm saying is we do have to think of something, maybe not that. - Sure. - But I also like, we have to start talking about people's looks. I don't know if I sent it to you, but there was, I do want to just touch on this and then we could do celebrity therapy. There was this girl. She's sitting in her car and she's just like a regular regular girl, like myself. And she goes, "What do you do when you're his first baddie?" And all the girls in the comments are like, "Baddie, where?" Like, you're not a baddie. And I was like, "The girls don't understand what a baddie is." Like a baddie doesn't have to be an Instagram baddie. She just meant that you are his first baddie. Like you can be a bad bitch without looking like Kim Kardashian. 100%. - Are we not understanding that? Do we confuse? - It's an energetic. - It's an energetic thing. You want to talk about energy. It's like, I would say 100% 10 toes down, I am homidays first baddie. You could tell me you're not a baddie, you're not skinny enough, you're not cute enough, but I am my husband's first baddie period. - Frank has had a baddie. - I know. - Oh, I think not her man being like, "No, I haven't. No, I haven't." - That's nice, that's nice. But no, the one ex-girlfriend of baddie was kind of like, "Puried." No, not that one. The Colombian one. No. - Well, maybe, maybe she was too. I honestly, I don't mind that. I kind of am like, good. - Well, what I will say for Frank is, I think Frank's gets baddies. - That's what I'm saying. - I'm homidays first, but like, Frank gets baddies and you can be confident in like, my man's baddies. - I think I am. - You are a baddie. - You are a baddie. - Okay. I love them. You the baddies. Shoney, you the baddies. I love it. But like, I'd rather, I don't know, I just feel like in this day and age where everything we got going on, I don't like seeing people tell people like, you're not good enough, you're not cute enough, you're not this enough, you're not that good enough. - I am not gonna name names at all, but like, yeah, some of my friends are very fucking judgy about even like, you know, someone walking in a show. Like, whatever, like beer, ballet, whatever, like shit like that where I'm like, it is so funny, but I'm also like damn, like chill out a little bit. - Yeah, chill out a little bit. - Does they have a woman? - Well, and it's just like, if we're gonna be calling out stuff, let's make it a little productive. - Like how? - Call out bad behavior. - Yeah, it's team. - Call it bad behavior, you know what I mean. - Let's say if we're gonna talk shit, talk shit about someone doing something wrong. And we talked about this earlier today. White women call it out. So if you're a bus. - Oh no, she did. She was like, listen, I don't know, it was some kind of essence moment or NAACP situation where one of her black friends brought her and she was like, it is our job to call shit out. Like, I don't want, and she even said, like I liked how she phrased it. She was like, I don't wanna come here and be like, the white friend that's just like, oh you guys, I'm not trying to be like that. I'm just trying to say like, white women need to act right. Like we need to call shit out. We need to stand up. I will say give you your flowers. Melissa will call shit out. If someone is like, if Melissa thinks someone's being racist or weird towards me, she's like, what? - She's like, excuse me. - Let me talk to your manager right now. - Exactly, period. And that's what y'all need to be doing. - Or I'll just get in the fight. - Who are you doing for? Oh, you have a celebrity therapy. I'm still thinking. - I do, I do. - Okay, so Secret Lives of Mormon Lives just started. I've only watched a few episodes. So maybe this changes, but I'm sure it doesn't. These fucking husbands, particularly Jordan, who's Jesse's husband, who was barely hanging on by a thread because she got involved with one of the Vanderpump Villa guys last season, whatever. They were gonna maybe break up. They were already like, he was fighting with her all the time. It was not a good look. What inspired you to come back this season? Like, I'm the leader of dad talk. First of all, no one cares about dad talk. Not one soul cares about dad talk. And he's like, well, yeah, I guess I am the leader 'cause you know, I started her. So I'm sure like that's like, why? Like, focus on your marriage. Focus on your marriage. And I'm like, what is this competition? It never looks good when men compete with women. When he's like, when we're going to the villa standing on our own two feet, girl, you are not even close to standing on your own two feet. This is on the back of your wife and all her friends. And she drops you. Like, she probably should have last season. You wouldn't even be on the show right now. Period. So these like, desperate to try and like make his own career for him and these dorks and competing with the girls. And it is just the silly-ish of her. And they are laughing it off, which is so nice of them. Like, if I was on that show, I'd be like, you small dick weirdo. Yeah. Somebody take his phone. Take his phone. Don't you dare do a little dance. Get out of here. Get a job. No more take talk for you. Done. Dad talk dead. And that's why I would say I'm in therapy. Period. That's some therapy right there. Um, I I was not there. It was just me dragging out. You know, that was great therapy. I think that that's perfect. And I'd be like, why do you feel like you need to compete with your wife? Period. Why do you feel like you need to stand on your own two feet instead of appreciating the opportunities that have been provided for you by your partnership that you've also not been taking care of and appreciating? OK. And that's what would be his homework. You know what? I will do very quickly. There is an actor. You might not even know who he is. His name is Yahe of dual Matin. And he was in Wonderman. And he's going to be in the new Man on Fire show on Netflix. He is just like a really cute black guy from New Orleans. And he went to the Yale School of Drama. And I watched the Man on Fire early because I did some freelance work for it for Netflix. I felt very connected to him. And this is what I would say to him is his therapist. Listen, the potential here is great. Now, I need you to pay attention to the story of Jonathan Majors. It went south for him. And he's never going to recover. So I need you to move in love and light and watch what you say and watch what you do and watch who you date and watch how you behave yourself. Because I see the potential for you to go very, very far. I'm looking into the camera because I'm trying to say something without saying something to him. He seems so personable and he seems so. And he not seems so. He is very talented. You know I love me an actor. I have studied acting in the drama, the dramatic arts. And you employ it every day when you read books to Zane. And I employ when I read books to Zane. And I can clock some like acting. You're also a scout. I am good at scouting talent. At the end of the day, I am very confident in my ability to scout talent. And I'm telling you, sir, you could go very, very far. But you need to make good decisions. And if you're not in therapy, you can reach out to me. And we can put you in some therapy. And we can kind of run through whatever you need because I also think that very serious actors need to work through a lot. And that is-- And your insurance. Just send your insurance. I know you have a sad card. I know you have insurance. And that is who I have for celebrity therapy. That was beautiful. Look who's back for the outro. Look who's back. Yay. Oh, that was a sleepy-- --levy. Perfect. Yeah, do you have anything to add? I did. Say mama. Ah! Here yet. We love you so much. Do you want to say follow on Instagram and send us some questions if you want anything that you want to have discussed? Cheap therapy, an at-cheap therapy on Instagram and TikTok. It's at Cheap Therapy podcast on TikTok. Here in-- And at Carrobena on TikTok and Instagram. At Rich Melissa. We love you, bye. We love you. Woo! Oh, you're doing so good, Zane. So good. You changed his diaper? He was OK? [Growling] He peep. Yeah, I was changing.