Ep. 414 - How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Manifestations with Sarah Baldwin (Top Rated)

The nervous system is the foundation of everything. It's the vehicle to unlock the life that we're wanting. How do you step towards the things that you want? Regularly and befriend your nervous system. Show it, not tell it that the life you want is safe. We do those things. The life you want is right there on the other side. The things holiness back from the life that we most want to live is actually our nervous system and subconscious. It is the part of us that is trying to protect us from ever experiencing the pain, the shame, the fears, the rejection that we once witnessed or personally experienced at one point in our life. But the beautiful thing is when we integrate with those limiting beliefs and fears, when we can attune to our nervous system with compassion and see it for what it is, a part of us that really, really, really wants to protect us, but is now holding us back because it genuinely doesn't know any better. We can rewire our subconscious, rewire our nervous system and change our entire freaking reality. I'm talking quantum leap level. We talk about this stuff all the time at TBM. It is the core of all of the tools we have built to help you guys walk through these fears and these blocks. Right now we're in the middle of the B-Sync challenge where we are helping people walking them hand in hand to face the biggest fear that is running the show, that is distorting your signal, that is blocking you from actually reaching the people you want to reach and getting the results you want, whether that's career, whether that's money, whether that's relationships, whether it's personal growth and identity shifts, whether it's just internal confidence and self-worth, whatever that barrier is where you have that burnout resistance, exhaustion, you're like what else can I possibly be doing? This is the other thing. This is the piece. This is the missing piece to all of it. You actually don't have to do anymore. You just have to look inside and attune to these pieces. Today on the podcast we have Sarah Baldwin, Sematic Experiencing Practitioner, an expert in the field of trauma resolution. She is going to break down exactly what is happening in our minds, in our body. And we've aired this episode once before, but it was by and far one of our biggest episodes this year because people really needed to understand what was happening in the body, why they couldn't get out of their own way, why they kept feeling like they were shutting down or self-sabotaging or they knew they wanted to do the thing, but they could not get themselves to do it. So we're re-arranging it now, especially as we're going through this BC and portal because we want people to understand that this mechanism is the thing that's connected to our fears and our limiting beliefs. And when we can attune to it with so much love and compassion, the opportunities for our life on the other side are limitless. Limitless. We have been getting so many DMs from our members who are going through this challenge with us, who are manifesting the craziest stuff. I'm telling you, like, featured on the Bachelor, their stagnant social media, finally skyrocketing again, their business, having all these clients come in seemingly out of nowhere. A project they worked on months ago, actually getting green light or picked up at a film festival. Someone else wrote in that their business about arts and crafts was featured on how I built this. People are having life changing results in here because they are finally stepping through the fear to attune to this wounded inner child part that's within them. And in the challenge, we are illuminating the gift that sits within that. So when you have this fear, this limiting belief part, on the other side of that is this magical essence of you that wants to come out and be expressed and has so much impact and love and value to give to the world. And we're hiding that part of us because we're so afraid. But let's walk through this portal together in this challenge. It's not too late to join the results and there are not. I'm going to do a whole episode on it because I just feel like a completely different person on the other side of it. I'm still moving through all of the exercises again and again because I just want to sit in this energy as long as possible because it feels truly like coming home to my confidence and full self that I felt was like just out of reach and now and now she's invited it again. So if you get the ping and you're feeling called, I'm telling you, if you have done any challenge with TVM ever, or if you've ever been interested, like this is the one. This is the core. It hits it at the core because we're afraid to be seen. We are not confident in our self-worth and our self-worth is where we manifest from. So come join us and really enjoy this episode because Sarah is just so amazing and the way she describes everything, it just unlocks so much and you'll hear in this episode, I mentioned a story about my younger self-feeling rejected and shamed and that is the exact part I worked with in this challenge with these tools and the results on the other side are so nuts, so nuts. So enjoy. And now a word from our partners. One incredible healing tool that has been game changer for my nervous system is the Bon Charge PEMF MAT. There is a very specific state your body needs to be in for that deep healing and real subconscious relaxation. And one of the most effective ways I found to help my body actually let go is the Bon Charge PEMF MAT. It combines pulse electromagnetic field therapy with red, near infrared and far infrared heat. In simple terms, it deeply calms your nervous system, relaxes your body, improves circulation and brings you to a much more receptive grounded state. They have settings to help you drop into your sleep to get into that Delta wavelength to sleep deeper. They have settings to help you drop into your meditative state so you can go deeper with your deep imaginings and they have settings to help bring a little bit of awareness, awakeness and activation in your body in a gentle way to help wake up your cells. It also helps your body recover faster because you're significantly lowering your stress load. I love setting it on high heat, putting on eight hertz, which is as close to humans resonance, which is the earth's natural frequency. So I can just kind of calm down, get in homeostasis. And I'm telling you the depth and relaxation to which I can get into my deep imaginings with this is next level. The only thing I can kind of equate it to is maybe when you're in a really deeply relaxing massage, but this is something you can do right in your home. In fact, I keep mine in my office. So after stressful periods or busy work calls or when I'm feeling scattered, I take a quick break on the PENTHMAT and it brings me back down to regulation. I have the InFRIV PENTHMAT max, but they also have a Demi, a little bit smaller version, a mini and a waistband version, especially for people who get bad cramps or back pain, hugely beneficial. And for our expanded podcast listeners, we have a special code Magnetic Allcaps MAG NETIC for 15% off your order. That's code Magnetic Allcaps for 15% off your order and you can check out the link in show notes or go to bondcharge.com to learn more. And I also just want to flag that we were so excited to record this episode that the first 10 minutes or so a computer fan got in the way of a little bit of the audio and we eventually got it to resolve. But typically we cut that out of an episode, we felt like it was so good and so spot on especially to the manifestation work. So bear with us for the audio in the first 10 minutes. But what Sarah saying is just so potent, you will be quoting this episode, you will be returning to it. It is the medicine, it is the nervousness of some bomb for everyone right now, especially with so much going on in the world. And thinking about how do I even have space for goodness in my life, this episode is going to be it. Sarah Baldwin, thank you so much for joining us on expanded. You have been on our manifestation list for guests for quite some time. So I'm so excited that this is all aligning. I'm so glad to be here and I just think our work comes together in such a beautiful way. So a lot of times it's like a quilt, you know, they patchwork where we all need these different things to come together to bring us into your wholeness in life we want. So that makes me just really excited to be here with you. Our audience is familiar with the term nervousness in work. They've heard us talk about regulation. But I think going into a deeper a little bit and how this regulation shows up in our lives, how it really is the thing that is that thread underneath everything of what we're really manifesting from. You know, we like to say at TBM, like you're not manifesting from your conscious thoughts, it's from your subconscious, but your subconscious is so intertwined with your nervous system, like they are one in the same of what's going on down there. And really pulling up from your expertise, what does that all look like? What is the nervous system? How can people start relating to it in a different way? So I know we're going to dive into all of that, but I just have so many questions on this topic. topic for you. Well, this is wildly complex work and what I try to do is to still it down in a way that we can actually understand and digest. And so our nervous system for all intensive purposes is our self-protective system. In learning this work as an expert in this field, when I was reading all the literature research and science behind it, I really began to cry. And as I was reading it, I said, "This is the most beautiful love poem ever written." And what I say that is, our nervous system, this protective system, it lives subcortically in our body, not connected to the cordable thinking brain. So it lives in our body. It has never let us down for one millisecond in our life. People let us down because nobody's perfect. People don't show up for us. People hurt us. Your nervous system has never hurt you. It is never let you down. You are the only person on the entire planet that it cares about and all that it cares about is making sure that you are safe. What a beautiful thing that is that there's a system inside of you for everyone listening. It's inside of you and it loves you and it loves nobody else but you. And it works night and day. It actually is friends with every organ in your body. It works with every organ system. They're all working together to keep you safe. And the nervous system is like the conductor of it and says, "Okay, buddy, we don't think that Sarah is in safety right now. So what do we need to do to make her protective? So it's our self protective system. That's its job. It is looking out every single millisecond of our lives. That's very fast. Thousands of those in a second. This is our threat detector which lives in our brainstem. This is its job which is the leader of the nervous system. And it looks out and it says, "Is that safe, dangerous, or life-threatening?" Is that enough exposure, safety and surely threatening? Is it safe to use your voice? Is it safe to be seen? Is it safe to be known? Is it safe to take up space? Is it safe to rest? Is it safe to have pleasure? Is it safe to receive without suffering? All the things. And down to the details of the way that I'm tilting my head, is it safe to engage your life-threatening? The way this person is gazing at me as it's safe to engage your life-threatening. So every detail of our lives, now I'll sit to side. A little beautiful thing about every unbroken, perfectly working human that's listening to this right now, you are so exquisite that you have this internal database that lives in your brain. It has every lived experience inside of it you've ever had. Also lives in our body. You don't have memories. You don't have to remember them. They're all in there. Everything. The good things, the bad things, and the traumatizing things. So when the threat detector looks out into the world, it also looks internally. That's called interception. But when it looks out into the world to see if you're safe or not, the way it decides is by resourcing or looking to your internal database. Now the threat detector, it doesn't look for identical matches. Those are nice, but it doesn't need an identical match. It can have a flavoring of similarity. So enough of a similarity, it says, that's a match. I'm going to give a very simple example of how this works. I, in my front yard, I have a beautiful tree, aside in my office. And when I look at that tree, I immediately smile. And I took a deeper breath. And I felt more regulated. We think we want to manifest all these things, which we might want the thing, but you can have all the things in the world. And if you don't experiencing them from regulation, you won't be able to enjoy any of them. So when I look at this tree, all this and so nice. And I feel good, why did that happen? Because the threat detector said, what intel do we have on nature? Truth. So it looks to my path. It's going to first look to your child. This is where we began. Of course. And for me, I grew up in a very abusive, dangerous home, no safety there. And I grew up in the middle of the woods in New Hampshire. And the woods was where I found safety. I used to make magical home that would go out into the woods. And that was my only reprieve. And so for my nervous system, bugs are safe. Spiders are safe. Trees are safe. Moss is safe. Dirt is safe. Everything in nature is yummy and awesome. Because that was a safe refuge. So all it takes happens in a millisecond. I look to that and I feel great. Now for a lot of us, even if you didn't have a child with like mine, none of us go to life. I'm scared by all the well-managed traumatizing thing. And so the threat detector has three options. Is that safe? Is that dangerous? Or is it life threatening? So if it says that safe, based on past, what it does is it brings us into something called our ventral vehicle complex. That's what regulation is. And I say this a lot. Regulation is a thing that every person on the planet wants. And they don't know it. Such an unsexy thing to think I want my ventral vehicle complex. You're telling me that's what I want. Now the answer is yes. And the truth is, it's not that we are chronically or always in this state of regulation. We actually wouldn't want that because we would be able to protect ourselves from the interesting. But that's predominantly there. And I know how to be there. When we're in regulation, we experience things like ease, wonder, contentment, fulfillment, curiosity, play, joy, excitement, connection, all the things we want. We're a full cell. And not only that, but when we're there, it's as if our nervous system is standing at our side. Like this beautiful brilliant, most loving gardens that are standing at our side. Ready to do something that they need to, but they're not actively protecting us. And that means if you think of the visual, if you're seeing this visually or just listening, think about the visual of two guards or many guards standing at your side. But I'm exposed. And that means that things can come towards me. I can manifest things. I can call things in. And I can also go out into the world to go towards the things I want. That I'm not blocked. One of the predominant reasons why so many of us struggle to live, for life we are called to ridden is because our nervous system does not yet know that that life is safer. So this works is truly the foundation of how we embody and manifest the life we want. The moment though, you go to mobilize towards the thing that you want. The threat sector says, up, they're actually going towards it. The love of my life is going towards something right now. Let me look to the database. Is it safe? What are they going to do? Use your voice. Be seen. Take up space. Take risks. Make mistakes. Ask for help. All the different things. Be their full self in the world. That was not safe in the past or it wasn't available for us. What are they doing? Last time we did that, we were abandoned. We were harmed. We were hurt. We are ridiculed. Love was conditional. You had to be, you can't be your full self. You have to be what other people want you to be. This is not going to be okay. Oh my gosh. I don't know what Sarah's doing. She's lost it. I need to stop her. So the threat detector talks to the rest of your nervous system. There are three states of regulation that it has to talk to. Something called your sympathetic nervous system. That's all about mobilizing. Think of it like a cheetah on the run. You got to do something. It goes to second state is your dorsal vega complex. Think about a bear in hibernation. So it's the polar opposite of a cheetah running. This is all about energy conservation. This is where things like apathy, hopelessness, depression, dissociation lives. I'm in a funk. Everything feels impossible. I can't even think. I'm just shutting down. Sympathetic is the opposite. Anxiety, worry, frustration, fear, terror, rage, racing thoughts, catastrophizing, etc. And then we have this other state called freeze. Think of that like a deer in headlights. And that's two equal and opposite forces come together rendering us stuck. It's like a finger trap. I'm stuck. I have all this sympathetic energy, but I can't do anything. So this is, I have to but I can't. I have to but I can't. I just start the thing. I can't start the thing. I have to start the thing. So those are the three states that our nervous system protects us with. And it'll choose whichever one that worked in the past to keep us safe because it worked. So anyway, you go towards dating or you go towards wanting to start that business and your nervous system, all the sudden instead of standing at your side, it stands in front of you. It blocks you. Think of it if a drawbridge came down in front of you. How the heck are you going to get that down? What are you going to do? You can't. It's blocking you. So it blocks you from stepping into the life you want. That's the self-protection. The self-protection, the result of it brilliantly protecting you is that you can't step towards the things that you want, but also the things you want can't come towards you. And those are the symptoms of active self-protection. So if my nervous system doesn't think that the life I want is safe and I smell because for the majority of us, the things we want are going to replicate something in the past that wasn't entirely available or safe. It will stop you in your tracks. And I used to call this personally the indiscible wall. I am trying so hard. And I'm a really strong will person. I would sit for eight hours, ten hours at my computer. You're going to do this thing and I would go into dysregulation. I'd either go blank, shut down, I need to take a nap, or I'd have all this energy like, oh, I'm wasting time. I have to do this thing. I have 20 tabs out. Which do you start with? Do I start with this? And then I would go blank, but I'd be anxious. I have to. I can't. I have to. I can't. I have to. I can't. I can't make it. I don't know where to start. I'm overwhelmed. And then I go clean the bathroom for the tenth time today. And I'm ordering all this stuff from Amazon. Like, what am I doing? Because I'm frozen. And so what's true here is what we have to do is we have to take the hand of our loving nervous system and say, nervous system. I know that you don't think that the life that I want is safe for me. But let me show you that I am safe so that you can rest and I can be free. Let me show you that I am safe so that you can rest and I can be free. Such exquisite love story because when we're regulated, our nervous system is resting, meaning it doesn't have to work so hard. And we want it to rest. That's how you come into health and homeostasis in your body, but it's how you, so if a manifest health in your body, how do you do that? Regulate your nervous system. Regulate and befriend your nervous system. And when we do that, life opens up in the most miraculous ways. But one important caveat to that is when you come into regulation, when you start to manifest the life you want, it is not going to feel good at first a lot of the time, which is surprising to people. That is normal. And it's like the metaphor I use is this. Imagine if you were in a dark room for one year, five years, 10 years, and you had the ability to see. But it was so dark. And all you would think about is I just want to go outside and see the sun and the trees. And here's the sounds of birds and kids laughing. And people that I love that I can hug. But when you got outside on a sunny day, you would look to the sun and the blue sky, and you would close your eyes. And you would say it's too bright. I can't take it all in. And the thing is, everybody, it wouldn't be physiologically possible for you to keep your eyes open at first. At first is the important part of that. You have to build your capacity for your eyes to adjust to more and more light. So the same goes for bringing in the things that we desire. They aren't going to just feel good at first. We have to build our capacity to hold the good. And we are all holding the amount of good currently that our nervous system has the capacity for. And so I just like to say that because people think, well, once I get that thing, it's just going to feel great. Oh, no, the first time you experience safe love in a romantic partnership, it's going to feel terrifying, overwhelming. Oh my gosh, what is this? And that is a normal part of the process. So it's not just work of, let me show my nervous system that the life I want to manifest is safe. That's a part of it. But it's also, let me show my nervous system that the next iteration of what that looks like, the goodness of it is actually for me to receive. Oh my gosh, there's a whole segment that you're talking about is everything to the To be Magnetic Work and Community. I really, I feel so seen even hearing this because I'm like, yup, yup, yup, this is so intrinsic to this process. And the way that you talk about them, this is a wall we talk about them as blocks. When people are, they're relationship to block so many times can be like, I want to unblock and remove this thing out of my way so I can get the manifestation. And you have to understand what you're talking about there. Like you're not trying to get rid of your nervous system. You're not trying to shut it down, disconnect from it, push it aside, ignore it, punch through it. It's the relationship to it. The softening is what is unblocking. That's allowing it to step aside. That's allowing that flow to enter. It's not a relationship of force. It's not a relationship of compartmentalizing. It's not a relationship of becoming something you're not. It's working with what you already are and attuning to it and meeting that need. And I feel like it's such a missing piece that is not talked about in goal setting, in manifestation, in up leveling in life, in all of these next stages and steps. I mean, how many times have we heard the story of someone who like manifests the greatest thing and they're like, it's not that great. Like I don't feel good here. And it's like, okay, why? This is why. I want to touch in a little bit when you talk about those different states. So I can just feel the audience right now. Think about their manifestation. Think about the thing they're calling in. Okay, what's the story they have around it? There's a lot of daydreamers in here myself included who's like, I love planning. I like drawing out the vision. I'm gonna daydream about it. It feels so safe, secure. I feel myself stepping into it. And then when I look at my actual life and what I need to change on a day-to-day basis to step into it, that's where that free shutdown comes in. Like when it comes to my career and my work with TBM, I feel so at ease with. But when it comes to launching like my personal brand, that wall is like, we know safely how to show up with TBM, we figure that out. We're expanding every day. Personal brand, it feels like being back in high school and bullied by kids again. Like that's the energy that comes up. What is one thing when we're befriending that nervous system? When we're moving out of the day dreaming, when we're like, okay, what is the one action they can start to take or way they can start to connect with their nervous system a little bit to just start that softening process? - Well, I hope you don't mind that I'm gonna give you a really complex answer. - Perfect. (laughing) - Because I want everyone listening to understand this next piece that is an integral puzzle piece if you want this to actually work in and for it to work fast. Is that you brought up something really important? You said, it's like I'm back in, did you say middle school or high school? - You don't understand. - Being bullied on this course. - You don't understand high school freshman year, I'm like vivid picture. - That's right. Okay, so I mix a lot of modalities, somatic therapeutic modalities together. I think that they all need each other where complex beings and there's not one specific thing. So what I'll say is the nervous system is the foundation of everything. It also creates your whole lived experience, thoughts, perception, experience of self-others in a world around you, sensations, et cetera. Okay, it's a gatekeeper. There's another piece here though, and that is parts work. Very, very, very, very important. And I do not think that you can do this work successfully without this puzzle piece. Here's what I mean by that. So our nervous system parts, parts work everyone, internal family systems is a model I use, but inner child work, they're one in the same. We all have different versions of us. So what that essentially means is we have our adult self that is our numeric age. That's the version of us who resides here in 2026. Now for everyone listening, that's the version of you, and you just described this. When you're at working, it was to be magnetic, you are, it sounds like in adult you. You feel usually everybody listening. This is the version of us when we feel like the great sequoetry. I am anchored, I am here, I am present. I know that everyone is deserving of taking up space, me too. I know everything's going to be okay. I am free to be me. Also, nothing has to be perfect. Everything is going to be okay. I am flowing down the river of life with ease. I feel like my most adult self, high as self, so self, they're all intertwined together. That internal family systems terms is called self. I think of this as our adult self. Now here's what happens in life. None of us, as one of my mentors, Peter Living says, none of us go through life unscathed by trauma. And so what happens is we're going through life. Life is beautiful and hard. And when we experience overwhelming or traumatizing things as we develop, parts of us fragment off of our whole self. So what occurs is, I'm going to use the example of you in high school, so in middle school. So this beautiful, precious, amazing, perfect little girl, because even though teenagers think they're grown-ups, they're still little kids, this beautiful little girl. And being the bright light that she was, and shining brightly, here's what kids do who aren't getting their needs met at home. They project that the only place that they can put their anger or their disappointment is not onto their parents. It wouldn't be safe, especially if they have unsafe homes. So what they do is, they put it onto the bright light that is mirroring back to them their own feelings if I'm not good enough. So they found you this beautiful bright light and said, stop poking at the ways in which I don't feel good enough. And I couldn't take this anger out on my parent. So I'm going to take it out on you, because I have to do something with this anger. And they project it onto you. And this precious little girl learned, if I shine really bright and I'm big, I'm my full self, I get hurt. So that's a vulnerable part everybody listening. We have two types of parts, vulnerable parts and protective parts. Now that vulnerable part, even for all of you listening, if you had loving parents or not loving, but even with loving parents, usually they didn't know how to parent. So what happens? This vulnerable precious girl goes home and even with loving parents. Our parents might not know what to do. So they just, you know, let's make cookies or let's go shopping or you're fine, honey, you know what they're not doing? They're just doing it because they're hurting. So none of those things actually are giving you what you need. What happens is that vulnerable part says, oh my gosh, I'm all alone with this. And so in that moment in time, we develop something called an internal protector. And the parts travel in pairs. We have vulnerable parts that were hurt and they're protectors that learn to protect them. The protector says, never again, while I let you experience that, my love. And so it hounds different types of protectors, all names them because I know some everybody here, you got them. Protectors, here's one, a perfectionist. If I'm just perfect and I get everything right, then that part will never get hurt again. So I am hyper-vigilant. I'm frozen a lot of the time. I can't complete things because it has to be perfect. If it's not perfect, I'm not gonna be okay. Another protector, striving part. And if I strive, then I'll have some semblance of love because maybe I'm not getting love at home. So I set a bar. Once I get there, I raise the bar. I don't enjoy it for even one second. And then I set the bar and I raise the bar. And I set the bar and raise the bar. It's never enough. It's never enough. That's also being like a workaholic, faunting part. I'm just nice all the time. I become whatever I think everyone else wants me to be in order to be safe. A part that shuts us down. I just become really small. And I can't let myself be seen. Dissociative part. I can't even think about the things that I want to do. So those are all protective parts. So guess what occurs. As I say, I'm gonna go do like you're saying, I feel this column my life to do this other thing too. Like a personal brand that's knocking at your soul's knocking at you saying, there's more for you. My love, guess what? That unfinished business of that sweet 14 year old who when she shined bright, it wasn't safe. I need to do this to her. And I'm gonna give you this carrot. To adult you, the carrot you think it's about that. And yet, sort of about that. 'Cause that'll help a lot of people in the world. But you know what it's really about? I need you, this warrior woman, this lioness that you are, I need to you to work hard to get your nervous system regulated. And for you to hold, build your capacity as this warrior, to hold scary stuff, because guess what? I'm gonna need you to travel back to that 14 year old in that classroom. You need to adult you to go into that classroom with her. And I'm gonna need you to meet her and become the mother, the parent. But even with loving parents, they couldn't do everything. I need you to make up for it and become the parent that part never had. And there are all of these everybody to being a competent protector. That's what it's called. Number one, you are soft and attuned in loving. You have to feel empathy for these parts of ourselves. Just like a lioness would with her cubs, then a lot of research with animals. And 'cause the system, the nervous system is a mammalian system. And they're soft in loving with their young. So soft, like they're tired from hunting, but yet they don't mind the baby's biting them. And they're like, "That's fine, whatever." It's okay, soft in loving. But that's not the only thing a lioness is. She is ferociously protective. And that means if anyone gets near her cubs, she will not be afraid of you when she will mull you to death happily. Because her herbs are the most important thing to her, just like the mature, I call elephant. Now because of that, if you look at baby elephants or baby lion cubs in the wild, they're living in one of the most dangerous places in the world. And yet those babies are free to be themselves. And they are wholly and completely playful. They've ever seen a baby elephant in the wild. They're just like playing with their trunk. And they're like, "I'm having the best time. This is a great life for great." Why are they so free to be them? Because their nervous system knows I have an ultimate protector here that no matter what to the death will protect me. And it's also my refuge for safety. And so you see, when we go to try to step towards and manifest the life we want, this is complex stuff. It's not just our nervous system. Your nervous system works with your parts. So as adults, you say, I'm gonna go try to step towards that. Your nervous system says, "What is this remind me of?" Looks at the database, being 14 and being bullied in school because you want to serve a personal brand. That means being seen. In that moment of you trying to step towards that, the 14 year old, because she's the one being reminded of, inhabits your body. And everyone listening, your nervous system is called your vagal tone, will reshape to when you were 14 years old. For all intensive purposes, that means on a neuroscience level, you have traveled time. You are no longer in 2026. Adult you is not here. The 14 year old is. And the 14 year old is gonna feel and experience everything she felt back then. And what's gonna happen is adult you's gonna say, "Let's drive towards this thing. Let's do this thing. It's not that hard. What's wrong with you?" All the while you don't realize there's a 14 year old body saying, "I'm scared. I don't want to feel that again. It felt like annihilation. I had nowhere to hide. I had nowhere to go. You don't understand. This is so scary. I can't do it." And your nervous system says, "My love, I know she's not listening. Adult parts, they have a very hard time knowing we're here. But I'm listening and don't worry. I will not let her do that to you again." So I'll put the drawbridge up and she won't be able to do it. And the moment says, "Thank you." Because that would be so scary and so painful. That's the protective parts putting the drawbridge up. So yes, we have to befriend our nervous system. That's the first step at number two. You have to get to know the parts that are afraid of the life that you're trying to step towards. And they're going to be parts that are afraid of it because something they experience in the past seems similar to them and they are sure it's going to be the same. The protective parts work hand in hand with your nervous system. They're friends. So your nervous system's 500 million years old. Pretty ancient. And your protective parts saved your life. Meaning they're very strong. And they're both stronger than you. Stronger than you're strong with. So what we have to do very importantly is we have to, number one, work the muscle of being in our adult self, which I'll help I'll give a tool in just one second on how to do that. What does it feel like to be a don't-me? And then I have to get to know my love, my love. Who is the part that is afraid of this life we're going to step into? We have to fall in love with them. And we have to, as we fall in love, we listen to them. And we understand why it's so scary. And we apologize. I'm sorry I was pushing you faster than you were ready. That's the vulnerable part. And then we get to know who's the part that's keeping me stuck that I've been an absolute asshole to. That's the part I procrastinate. And we beat ourselves up. What the fuck is wrong with me? I suck. Boba, no, that's a part. She's probably also 14. And she's lonely, and tired. And she saved that other part's life. And we have to bow to her and say, I'm sorry that I wasn't here to protect. But I am now. Show these parts that I am the liar, the lie in us. And you better believe, no people who are harmful or dangerous are ever going to get near you again over my dead body. And not only that, but this life we're going into, it's for the parts too. They get to have the freedom they never got. And if our parts think that we are trying to use them or manipulate them, you'll never get unstuck. Which it's like, think about that if you had a kid. And they were upset and you're on vacation. And you just wanted your teenager to stop being upset. And you said all the right words. Like, you're nice, but they could feel you have an agenda. And it's not to make me feel better. It's to for you to have a good time. And so really this work is, number one, befriend your nervous system. Work with it. Show it, not tell it that the life you want to save, befriend it. Number two, get to know the parts that are so afraid of the life that you're wanting to step in. They built a beautiful prison to live inside of. And our job as the warrior self, the lion or lion as self is to say, we don't have to live in a prison anymore because I'm here now. You do those things the life you want is right there on the other side. It's so beautiful. It gets me emotional thinking about it, even as you were talking. I could feel my parts being like, yeah, okay, thank you. Like they were like softening so much in the moment. And in effort to bring a little bit more whimsy to my day to day life, I am finding little spaces and places where I can instill a ritual. And this season, I have had two tiny bottles sitting in my little wellness corner that has been my most used wellness tools during the creation and launch of our BeCene challenge. And both are from Anima Mundi, the botanical apothecary that I've been loving for years. Because they're commitment to high quality and thoughtfully sourced herbs and ingredients. So the first product is their sebum tonic. This I've been taking before deep work session. So if I'm about to write workshop content, create deep imagining exercise, map out strategic content, build challenge material, this is a thing that makes my brain come alive. It really lessens the brain fog. It helps promote focus and clarity and really anchor me in during those sessions of deep focused work. It has supportive, neutropic herbs and mushrooms to support cognitive function. Things like lines main, ginkgo, go to cola, tolcy and rosemary. And then at the end of my day, I reach for their relaxed tonic. Now, if you're someone who's mind keeps going after a long day or after you've closed your laptop, you will truly understand this one. Especially during launch cycle, I feel like my brain is constantly thinking of new ideas. So this relaxed tonic has been the signal to end my work day and to drop into a commerce state in the evening. This one is filled with things like lemon balm, passion flower, chamomile, ashwagandha, lavender, to really just soothe your body, mind and nervous system. These two have been so game changer this season. Their products are made with organic, wild crafted, sustainable, harvest botanicals without fillers and unnecessary additives. If you'd like to try any of any of my Monde's products for yourself, you can scan the QR code or use code TBM20 for 20% off your purchase. Again, that's TBM20 for 20% off your purchase and check the link in the show note or scan the QR code in the video. It's one of the things that a lot of people in our community, like we have three pillar star manifestation method. One is the unlocking process. doing this inner work, this one is the expansion, like seeing other people live it, breathing, getting those examples, flooding the system, seeing them safe, doing the thing, knowing, teaching ourselves that, and then following through and taking that align action. And I think a lot of people take a ton of action and they find a lot of expanders and they may be aware of their blocks. They may consciously be like, "But that felt experience in the body is one of the scariest things I think for people to open themselves up to that. Especially if there's really traumatic situations that are coming up for people, it feels like Pandora's Box. It's like, well, how can I let this steam off or how can I attune to this part? But almost there's like a resistance that comes up, which is I don't want to get swallowed by this. So I'm only going to titrate or pull out a tiny bit out of time. What would you say for someone who has a lot of resistance in going in and doing that in her work? Well, and I'll say this to everyone listening is I have some of the worst complex trauma a human could possibly have. For many reasons, or in many ways, a miracle that I'm here, it's not really a miracle, it's that I found this work. But, even the things that lasted for decades, a decade and a half. So I say that because I have parts that have experienced some of the most overwhelming traumas that are possible. And the way that we do this work, I'm going to use it. I speak in a lot of metaphors. So I'm going to use another one. I hope that makes sense. Imagine for the listening that all of a sudden knock knock knock at your front door and you open the door. And there's this precious little kid, maybe a few, a couple different kids, different ages. They'll have little suitcases and they have nowhere else to go, but inside of your house. And they look just strikingly like you did. And they come into your home and they all the case file from the social worker. And you read it and oh my gosh, this is just like my history. And these precious ones are the little use that live inside of your body. And get triggered every time they're reminded of something from the past. So for some of that you, that might be you and they were purantified. That means that they never got to be a kid. They had to take care of the adults around them. So they're like a little adult and they're looking at you and they're just apologizing all the time to you. So oh sorry, I mean, oh sorry, let the light on. I just shouldn't done it. Are you okay? They ask you ask what they want to eat. Well, what do you want? Whatever you want. It's all okay. Or we have parts that were neglected. So they don't know how to ask for help. So when you say, how is your day? They say, it's fine. I'm going to go, I'm just going to go in my room because they don't know how to open their other parts that have to get everything right. So they're just working so hard to do that. So anyway, those are all the different, we have many different other types, but just imagine some of those. And you look at their case file and you know some of the really hard things they went through. Like the memories that you have of being humiliated in school, some of the worst ones. Yeah, and you're seeing this little precious girl who just, she thinks she's unlovable. She thinks she's, ugh, I'm just not as pretty as anybody else. I'm not as smart. I'm pathetic. I just can't get anything right. I wish I was invisible. And you're looking at this beautiful girl. She doesn't know she's beautiful. And so here's what we would never do. What I ever sit down and say, hey, I read about this thing about that thing that happened at school and everyone was laughing at you and then that guy was like, like she done you with your best friend in the nail laughter you and then no one was your friend and you were just so humiliated. Remember how awful that was? How awful was that? Tell me how awful it was. I want to hear about that. Or hey, to this other part, do you remember when you were abused by your mother or your stepfather or your father and how awful that was? Remember the terror? Tell me about the terror. I want to hear more about that. One, whatever do that. What would I do? I read that and I would say, oh, she doesn't know how beautiful she is and how lovable. I don't just mean physically how perfect she is. And I would say, I'm going to just slowly show her that as she is is right. I'm going to do it just with words. I'm going to feel it. So I feel as I look at her, oh, she is so brilliant. I want to know what she thinks. Because everything is so, my god, the way she sees the world. Hey, what do you think about the way that the trees are growing in the backyard? Are they amazing? The way the branches are like, what do you think about them? We start talking about it. And I'm so intrigued by what she thinks about nature. And it's ability to, you know, I'm like, what do you think about the fact that trees are 50% of our DNA isn't crazy? And like, let's say she has an inquisitive mind, loves philosophy and she starts talking about it. And I'm just going to get so interested in her. And not in a put on way, everybody, that's what's really important. Now, like, oh, this part needs to be loved. You're really lovable. That will not work. What needs to happen is true, real feelings and empathy that I feel towards this part of me. So if I have a little part that's terrified of people, scared. I wouldn't say, well, I'm giving it this beautiful home. Give me a hug. Come on. You're saying, is what we do about manifesting. Come on. I'm just saying, all people haven't been safe. So she's sitting on one end of the couch. As we're watching a movie. And I would say, would you mind if I sit on the other end? Okay. I guess. Okay. Great. I'll just be over here. And I would purposely not look at her too much because I don't want to overwhelm her. Just slowly shove her. The thoughts are safe. And I don't want anything back, my dear. And you know, this, this work every time I think about it. Because what healing actually is, is the most beautiful love story. There's one in my own journey where I remember as I was working with all at relapse part integrating them. I felt so in love that I said. And I have really big times driving parts that would show up. In my true self, I said to the parts that had worked so hard to protect me. And the parts that were so vulnerable, I said, your freedom and your aliveness is more important to me. Than anything else in the world. It's more important in a husband. It's more important than having children in my own. It's more important than my purpose and money and anything else. Just to see you free and alive. And it takes everybody what I'm talking about, that level of falling in love with these versions of you that have experienced pain. When you do that, you know what the irony is? You get every last thing you could ever want. Because now they know there is a parent here that chooses me above everything else. I hear that not only chooses me, but sees me. I said this to my parts. I said, you will always be my first born no matter what. And this is also scientific. So if you think this kind of, well, it's actually also science. But it requires this level of felt sense that I'm showing you. You are the most beautiful. Gem, I am the luckiest to be your mom, to be your dad. I am the luckiest in the whole world. And because of that, I will protect you from anything that ever could come towards you again. People can say things to me, but they can never say it to you. Always have that in me. And do you know what happens? Our parts actually believe it when we feel it that much. And they become like the little elephant playful. They say, oh, I get to be a part of this thing that you're doing. And more and more, the beautiful thing is about whatever we want to manifest in our lives, especially around a particular purpose. Is that the people you're meant to serve? Guess what? They're going to have parts that are just like yours. Maybe you want to start like art classes. And you have parts that are so creative, but they got inhibited. Because they felt like at one point you're not an artist anymore. Because you're not getting it right. And you're not getting it right. company you need to start, what subjects you need to learn, like to not let the outside programming infiltrate and to deepen that connection with self and in unburdening all of these younger selves and in this reconnection to all these younger selves, like that's where your magic is. That 14 year old self, like that part of me had a light that I might be disconnected with and could bring something really magical to myself now in 2026. And so I really feel like this is everything. Like this is the work to be done if you want to move through life with ease, with purpose, with love, with compassion, without sourcing external validation, without sourcing external safety, it starts within. Like so many people say that, but I feel like the way that you explained it, it just really makes so much sense of why we have to stop looking for the outside confirmation of who we are and even seeing that our impulse to do that as our protector parts, as our nervous system scanning for the threat and say, oh, I see what you're doing and like coming back to self again. You know, if we look at everything in nature, it's not like, how should I be? I don't know. What's the trends right now? It's just, I am what I am. So if I tried to be somebody else that I'm not, I would never be able to give the gifts that I'm supposed to give. And so the more everyone listening that you trust that, you feel into adult you, you know, this is who I am and the world. That's how we are this beautiful tapestry. That's how it all works. If I can trust that and then you start to get glimmers of like, how they're people, they're saying, you're the one that I need. They're the place that I want to come to and they come to your restaurant and there's like a trillion other restaurants. And do you know one of the reasons they come is because you cook with the love that's inside of you. So I'm so glad you said that because I think right now are for a long time, but the online world is so over and inundated with like, join this mastermind that's going to teach you how to create and figure business. Like, there's some benefit to some of those things, but what they usually do is strip you of your selfhood and don't lose the you. Think of every person that did amazing things in the world. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Visionaries, what are these people doing? They saw things that seemed crazy, impossible, but what they were really doing was listening to that still small voice, fueling it and fueling it and step by step leaning into it. And that's really the magic sauce that we all have to do. And the good news is already inside of you. You don't have to become anything. Yes, that part I think is so inspiring for people to hear that they don't need to learn to be more interesting. How to do that better? You just need to feel more comfortable trusting the parts and the gifts and the unique sauce that you already have. And sure, there's nothing wrong with mastery or learning something to get better at it, like a skill or craft, but it will be coming from a place of love and curiosity and not punishment and fixing. That's exactly right. And the same goes for people to and wanting community or like romantic partnership. The most magnetic thing is somebody that says, I am me. I am me and I love me. And you know, there's a quietness to that. [Music] Where are you playing small, hiding, dreaming about your future life, but not really taking the actions you know you need to take in order to get there? Maybe you're people pleasing? Maybe you're saying yes to things that felt like a no a long time ago. What areas are you still operating from fear from scarcity from sheds when you want to be living in ease and flow and magnetism and abundance? Right now, to be magnetic, we are walking through the B-scene challenge where we are taking you on a journey for the next three weeks, five days a week, 20 to 30 minutes a day, max. You can go at your own pace. You can utilize it all summer long to unblock all of the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that are keeping us from the things that we most dearly want. If there's any ounce of you that feels like you are afraid to let your light shine, you are afraid to step into this next version of you that is unburdened and truly authentic and magnetic. This is the challenge for you. It is not only going to up level your capacity to be seen in the spaces and places that most matter to you, but you will be able to call in your manifestations faster than ever before. This is the season of coming home to you, seeing your own power and stepping in to your magnetic bucket energy. It is the best time to join TBM because we have our lowest summer sale going on right now where you can join the pathway membership for only $23 a month and access the B scene challenge. You'll also get access to how to manifest our money workshop, all of our deep imaginings that help you reprogram many different limitations, block spheres. We have our somatic nervous system reset in there. All the tools you ever will need to manifest will be inside one membership for only $23 a month. Hope to see you in there. I mean, it's so interesting. I'm curious if you feel into this as like, I feel like you're a very intuitive person. I'm just going to name that. I'm like, she definitely is so intuitive. Everyone is, but I could just see like the heightened sense of it. And I think the deeper you connect yourself, the deeper your intuition gets, the stronger it gets, that trust muscle. But I feel like now more than ever, we can read energy easier on social media in person. Like we don't really even understand why, but we feel like something feels off of that person or I feel scared or I feel uncomfortable or that doesn't feel genuine or something doesn't feel sincere there. We're able to very acutely be aware of the signals that it's sending out. And I remember when I was first learning about energy and all that kind of stuff, it almost scared me as being someone who creates, you know, things online because I was like, Oh, no, what are people reading about me? Blah blah blah. But then it's like, okay, the reason that people's energy that feels good is because they aren't looking for anything from you. They aren't hiding anything from you. It's like purity coming through. They are content and safe in themselves. Exactly what you're saying. Like it's kind of a twofold because you also don't want to be trying to cultivate that so you are seen as good by other people either. You do it for the sake of yourself. And that felt sense of like, I am just here for myself. I'm not doing this so other people like me. I'm not doing this. So I'm comfortable or magnetic or any of the things I'm doing it because I really care and value about my parts of me. Then it becomes the natural byproduct. Exactly. So that's why when we talked about parts, my parts are the most important thing in the entire world to me. I didn't ever think that that could be possible my whole life. But they are. I am the luckiest mother and I'm a good mom. And so I'm saying that I'll know because those are things we want to be able to say that's not being, wow, I'm so great. It's why I was just the thing. I'll be the proudest of in my whole life. And so when they come first, that's the healthy thing. Then it's okay, my purpose. Because what a lot of people do is their parts are being sacrificed for their purpose. When your parts come first and then it's okay universe, what is it that you have me here to do to serve? I get a lot of visions in when I'm in water and I got this this really strong. I said it probably a thousand times in the bathtub years ago. This mantra that came through and it just kept hearing, let me be the light that helps them come home to themselves and to you. And let me be a service of that light. And so when I think about creating anything I create, what is the principle of what I do in creating something I sit and say, let me be the light that helps them come home to themselves and to you. So if I go to do an Instagram live, you know what I do and walk in my dog, I think to myself, who today? What do they need? And so I go on and say, hey, you're not alone. And I'll share something with them. Or if it's a program I have, I make sure that I'm in integrity. Why did I create this? And for me, because I created, I am so passionate about because I've created them from a place of, I know what it's like to have to go do multiple modalities in different places and get confused. I know what it's like to not have a roadmap in the healing process and how confusing that is. Oh my gosh, I want people to have this. Could you imagine if people had this, they would go so much faster than it would spend 20 years like me. This is so exciting. I need to tell you about it. Oh my gosh. I felt so much shame. I felt like I was broken. That's why all my, my podcast is called You Make Sense. I have a program called You Make Sense. Why? Because I know what it's like to feel broken. I just want to tell people that they're loved and they make sense. And the thing is, I don't need them to join. You don't need to, you don't, but you do need someone to help you. And I could be that person or it could be someone else, but just know your loved and it's possible for this to change. I could care less about what is money. It's a US dollar, it's just paper. I just want to love you. And I want to show you as possible. And I've devoted my whole life to it. And if one person can get free so that they can have heaven where it's supposed to be here on Earth, that is all that matters to me. It's all that matters. And I've built a multi-million dollar business from doing it this way. I'm not thinking about ironically about the money. I think about people coming alive. So whenever it is that your purpose is, is it a florist you love flowers? And they make you so excited. Stop thinking about, well, if I don't sell seven bouquets this week, it's just not going to work out. Everything's going to be not going to work. That's you protecting with your nervous system. And it won't come towards why am I being called to this to make the world filled with more beauty and love for people. Oh my gosh, this person that's buying this for their loved one, this person that's buying this and bringing it to the graveyard of their precious companion. I am so honored that I get to be the steward of that makes me, I'm going to cry again. That's not even my purpose, everybody. So when I'm going to you, this is what you got to feel from adult you. And when you do magic. I mean, everything you're talking about to, this is the new paradigm of business. When people talk about mixing ambition, but from a grounded felt sense, like this is what it's about. Lack is I have to control the experience. Lack is I have to figure out exactly how I'm going to get this thing up this scale in this way. It's like, no, there is room for everyone. There is abundance in so many ways in so many seasons. As a team, like before we launch a challenge, or a site like it's the exact same concept. What are we so beaming from our hearts to share with everyone? What is the journey we want to take them on? Because we've been there. We've been stuck. What are we feeling? What's our community feeling? Having that at the forefront of everything you do, I just feel like if every business could operate from this sense, what could happen in this world? Oh my gosh, the whole world would heal. And everyone would come alive. And we'd do it one by one by one. And it's such a beautiful thing to see the world get brighter by everybody listening by you getting bigger. I want to say this because I feel like there are people that really need to hear this. This won't hurt anybody. A lot of people who feel like if I'm really big, I'll hurt other people, or they'll feel bad if I'm really big. And sometimes I find the most loving people, the most the people we need to actually shine the biggest can feel that way. I don't want to make anyone else feel small because they're not in their purpose. If I hurt somebody in the truth is, how dare you not shine big? Because it is through your bigness in your light that people find inside of themselves. And so it's radical act, actually, of activism, to say, I am going to shine big, so that people can find the light inside of them. And so I ask you here to bravely find the hands of all of your young parts that are scared inside of you and love them with everything you've got. And when you do watch them come alive and together the light of your integration of who you are shines so big that the whole universe can use you to emulate and emanate love through it, through your experience, through your purpose. And when that happens, our whole world heals. And so you have to be big. And means you're gonna have to receive a lot. Means you're gonna have to take up space. And we people like you to do it. - My drop, thank you so much Sarah. This was, I knew this combo was gonna be powerful, but I feel like it's exceeded my expectations in every way possible. And I will be listening on repeat as my therapy for the rest of the week. Where can people find you, connect with you, work with you, all of the things? - Well, thank you for having me. This was such a fun conversation and for being who you are and who the whole team, to be magnetic is. I'm on Instagram, my handle is Sarah B. Coaching. You can find me on my website, SarahBaldonCoaching.com. And I also have a podcast, it's called You Make Sense. - Thank you so much. And thank you for sharing your light and being brave enough to connect with and heal and integrate all of your parts. So you could be the light that you are in the world too. - Thanks so much. (upbeat music) - I hope you guys enjoy this episode and are feeling inspired and illuminated and just know how powerful and worthy you are to be seen, to be loved, to express, to share your unique essence with the world. And if you are feeling called to move through this portal with us together, to understand who you are in this season, to really claim your desires and say it with your full chest of what you want and start living from that place and rewire the blocks in your nervous system and your limiting beliefs and your subconscious that are in the way of this. We are gonna hold your hand. We have the exact tools for you and the results are gonna be out of this world. Okay, we'll see you in there. I will see you next week. (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]