EP 41: Why You Don't Actually Want What You Say You Want with Christine Banno

what's really between you and your next million? This is the question of the hour. Why might you not actually want the thing you say you want? You will find out here today, baby! Hello and welcome to this episode of She's Iconic and do we have an icon on here today? Oh, this is gonna be a spicy conversation with my girl Christine. I met her at a mastermind that we were a part of and we connected in person at a live event and I just sat down with her and I'm like this is my girl instantly our conversation just gotten to so much depth and juiciness. You know when you sit down with that one person and you're like we're talking about things that actually matter like those deep combos that is exactly what happened Christine. A high performance psychic nervous system specialist an author of her new book called the Ferrari frequency. And her work helps high performing entrepreneurs uncover the hidden survival patterns running beneath the surface so that they can finally stop self-savitarying and create success from regulation instead of survival. So today we're gonna dive into her new book and the concept of a million dollar nervous system, the hidden patterns that keep people circling the same level and this is gonna be one of the most powerful and potent conversations with powerful questions. So let's get into it baby Christine! Oh my god thank you for being here. Love it. So before we get into the book I want you to tell us about your journey. How did you become the woman that people call when they can't figure out what is blocking their next level? Well hello everybody I'm so fucking excited! That's right! Oh my god it's so long! So I've seen you and squeezed you in real life. How did I become that woman? Oh fuck good. I'm like dial the universe and ask that mofo up there like what the fuck? I have no idea. No idea I'm joking. But honestly I could have never planned this. If you'd gone back like 10 years ago I was living on government assistance. I just founded my first business, a boutique fitness studio. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no business opening a business. Like let's just be real. I had no business experience. I had no accounting experience. I had no anything. It was like universal guidance woke up at three o'clock in the morning after my life was chaos. I just got married. My ex-husband he's doing much better now but he was struggling with drug addiction back then and my life was in shampoos. I had no sense of direction, purpose. I was wandering through careers. I went into engineering recruitment. So I said I know. Fun fact! I did the makeup industry massage therapy. Like I tried everything nothing fit and so I was like I'm gonna be a big girl and go get a big girl job because that's what big girls do and like I need to start getting my shit together and being proper and whatever else. Fucking conditioning that I had. And then I started, I left that job and I started working in fitness studio because my life was crumbling. Like the life I had so consciously created was crumbling everywhere and I had no control anymore and I ended up my actually my ex-husband was like would you ever want to open your own fitness studio? This is about six months into teaching group fitness. And by the way the first time I taught a group fitness class my whole entire body went into like high, it was like crazy red chest because I had to be in front of like eight people and like I was leading and I felt so much imposter syndrome and like I don't, I haven't taken a physiology degree. Who am I to teach for fitness? And it's funny now because now I'm speaking in front of stages and front of like hundreds and hundreds of like various successful entrepreneurs. It's just kind of funny how life you know brings a full circle but I found it at fitness studio. It was absolute chaos. I like I said 10 years ago I was loving government assistance. I found that I was pregnant two months after the gym opened. My business partner left. We had a huge rupture. It was best friend. My ex was off using drugs and at the time and I was like living with my in a 400 square foot apartment with my French Bulldog pot roast and I was like holy fuck. How am I going to make this like through this? Like how am I going to do this? And can I afford diapers and like some very real things like 21 employees. I had no idea how to run a business and so I was like just drowning and she ended up coming six weeks early. So my journey was not easy. This was not like a layup like okay here's all this business experience and here's all this money and just like follow these steps. It was trial and error chaos. Having my body almost break down. I was running so hard and masculine energy. I was like my to do list. I was drowning. I had no idea how to like delegate to other people. I was fawning. I was in people pleasing patterns. My staff run like they ran all over me. Couldn't hold boundary to save my life. Like it was chaos. So my survival patterns, my codependency, all my old you know growing up. It was running my business and I was in 2018. I had a full blown like I was having panic attacks. I started the year with adrenal fatigue and pneumonia and ear infections and I got shingles like who's in there? Third is I think it's fucking shingles. It was like turbo stress. So that whole journey like I couldn't drive. I couldn't teach like the universe was like bitch if you don't stop I will take you out a tree fell on me like a tree branch like a like a 20-foot tree branch fell on me and smashed me to the ground and like on a beautiful August day sunny no wind literally cracked and smacked me and I remember thinking like if I don't change my life I will die. Like I'm going to get taken out. So I ended up diving into personal development. My ex and I split up and I realized I had to change my relationship with money because I had a terrible relationship with money growing up and so I started diving into like money work personal development. It took me on this journey. I found Melanie on layer and I jumped into her world in 2020 and it was like this light and like beacon and I was like what people make this kind of money. What is happening? So I started coaching. So I always wind in 2018. I got the intuitive hit to start running with treats and to be a coach and I remember thinking like you're such a bad business owner like why do you already want to change careers? And I found out I'm a manifestor in human design so I'm like really not designed. I'm designed to like start-shut, fire-shut but like pass it off. And so I dove into that world and I did a lot of healing with money and business and myself and leadership and you know emotional intelligence but and at this point I was doing some coaching already and I was very intuitive and I knew I had some gifts but I started making money like I had my first 10k month, 20k month, 30k month, 40k month, but I couldn't hold it. I've let all the money out. So I literally like as soon as it came in I was so dysregulated. I didn't know what the time it was dysregulation. It was I just felt anxiety. I felt jumpy. I felt almost like skittish. Like I had all these really interesting physical symptoms and I remember asking my mentors at the time like what is this? And they were like oh it's just like a mindset thing. Like it'll be fine and just like it was like a very like just you know it's just you see the discipline and you just let's create more of a schedule and like anyways. So I like blessed but like I was super dysregulated because it was completely against my identity right? Like my whole I saw myself as disgusting and grows and like a failure and like incapable and all these pieces. So there was still some identity pieces locked and loaded in place. So I just continued to dive in and I put myself in all the top rooms. I invested over $600,000 in personal development. Looking for the answer of why I couldn't like I would have success and then I would go I'd need to like literally almost have like a hangover from business for like a month. So I would have like a big launch and then I would crash and need to like binge Netflix for like a month and a half. Or I would make a bunch of money and then I'd be like hey like now I've made 40k now I just I need to just I need to lean back and just need to cruise for months now. But then there's like the Feast or Famine Cycle it was a roller coaster cycle and I'm like what the fuck is going on and what's wrong with me and why can't I sustain my business and why am I feeling this way and why am I feeling so out of control when like I technically have money but I still feel all over the place and put myself in all these top rooms and was investing so much money and you know I tried literally everything you can imagine and nothing stuck in nothing worked I still hid I wasn't visible there was all these blocks and I knew I wanted to speak on stages and I knew I wanted to write a book and you know I was sitting on a book and a podcast is 2017 like I mark my good friend Mark Gross he put me in touch with the book editor from Newark in 2017 and she was like I love your work this is incredible ghosted her like never got back never followed through and so there was all of these incredible opera and that happened so many times there's all these opportunities and I was just like it's just not the time of two of her welms and like I look at all of that and I look at what was happening in rooms and and like the mentor would pop off and it's just like along the story I'll land the plane but the the mentor would pop off and a few people would pop off and then majority of the people were stuck and I so I watched this in rooms and I watched it with myself and I was like what is this none of the none None of what I'm seeing is like, it's the same. same stuff in every room and it's not a lack of talent and it's not a lack of brilliance and it's like they're brilliant. They have such the biggest hearts on the planet and for me I called it Living Hell. It was a Living Hell hell on earth knowing that I had gifts. I had a genuine like wanting to help people at desire for that. This wasn't about the money for me. Like of course that's a nice bonus but I genuinely knew in my heart like I want to help as many people as possible and I literally can't step towards it. Every time I do I want to focus on my website or a shit that doesn't matter or I need to do laundry or like you know it just my brain would completely take me somewhere else that wasn't relevant that wasn't sales that wasn't gonna make an impact. And so I finally and also nothing like really worked on me. Like I had such a hard time connecting with emotions. I did a bit of like trauma, traditional trauma work and I hated it. I found the world was just so like it was just so like Debbie Downer. I was like okay this is either like I want to make millions or I'm in a trauma spiral and I'm just doing inner child work and shadow work and I'm like circling the healing world and I was like there's got to be a different way. There's got to be a bridge and so I started just with my own. I realized I had so much trauma right just from my past and from childhood and being bullied as a kid and he milleited by friends and all these different pieces and then obviously a bunch of trauma from teenage years and from being in really unhealthy relationships my whole life and I was with addicts a lot of my life and so I just had so much survival energy stress hormones and trauma sitting in my body and I didn't recognize it as trauma because I thought of trauma as like you know a victim of war or sexual assault or you know like these big big big like things that happened I didn't I was like I don't have trauma. Yeah like what is this and I don't I don't get it and so I started going and working I started diving in a little deeper because I noticed some things and like I'm a psychopath I have to go all the way I couldn't stop like I almost felt like I couldn't teach things because I'm like this isn't it because it's not totally working for me yet so I feel like a bit of a frog teaching this like just mindset work or just some of these pieces because like you know and that could be a shadow of the manifest or the one through manifestor because we just keep going and going but I'm glad I did because I'm sure I knew it I just wasn't gonna ask you what are your lines and human design I'm also a one three stop I was like you're talking about exactly you're talking to my language baby all of it you're talking my language yeah so I just really I started working with I started noticing actually themes so because something worked for me I created my own method and when I first created it years ago it was called the relax bridge regulated method but I I've changed it now to the obviously the million dollar nervous system method but what I saw happening in clients like I don't know how I started working with founders I was working with really successful people and all of sudden they just kept referring people and referring me these big names and these massive people and like personal development like quote-unquote celebrities people were coming to me and I was helping them and what I kept seeing in my one-to-one work with them was I would just take them into the same process that I did on myself into the body speaking to the body completing sentences like letting their body lead and I noticed the more we went in you know co-regulation we went in and they started releasing energy and you know emoting and and having releases I get phone calls or text message being like Christine you wouldn't fucking believe which has happened to have a 50k day this massive opportunity to go speak on stage has happened and I kept I'm like what is happening so I hired trauma specials nervous specialists and people to say can you explain the science to me about what why people are having such insane success when we're doing this work and so of course they're explaining from the scientific perspective and I'm like oh damn oh my god when you're clearing old energy from the body and survival loops instantly life force energy usher's in it's like this instant process so I love it because and people love it because when they come in my world we're not it's not more I'm not like okay come in I'm gonna layer a bunch of information and we're gonna like mentally masturbate about a bunch of concepts and then I'm gonna give you eight out it will be seven hour call and then you're gonna get 14 hours of homework and then you know have fun with that like I want fast I want efficient I want precision and so when people come in like I had a founder come in the other day multi-step figure founder and she just sat down and you could tell she's exhausted and I was like I don't want you to say a fucking thing and she just looked at me and she like she's like ex-self and I was like I'm gonna read your energy I'm gonna take you into your body we're gonna clear shit I don't I don't want you to fucking I don't want you to effort I want you to like literally just and you can watch her body language like because right now there's just so much excess it's just more founders and high-performance humans are fucking busy we have so much shit we have kids we have other businesses we have relationships we got fucking drop off we have camps we got like all sorts of shit we don't have time to sit around and like try to figure it out so that's why when I created my book even with my coaching my certification right now I'm doing the million dollar nervous system installation for entrepreneurs I'm like fast quick efficient like right to the fucking because I spent 10 years dialing this shit in we get there right away I don't want to do anything I don't want to talk about identity I don't want to do anything because if you're layering concepts on top of a nervous system in a body that is carrying excess trauma which plot twist every single conscious entrepreneur change maker world deal leader has because we have been through the most to set us up for the greatest success in our businesses and it to be these embodied leaders we have to go through the most we have to be the ones to have hot mess express dumpster fires hell on earth because we know what it feels like so we can relate to people in such a deep rich way plus we're just the most embodied people to lead so we have been through the most when I recognize that I'm like oh shit we have the craziest stories because nobody wants to sit around on a stage and listen to somebody like life is great and then it was awesome and that's handed it's like golden goose and then everything was awesome people want the like I was all you know I barely made it and I'm hitting bankruptcy and then you know everything got ruined again and then there was a massive flood and then I made it right like we want that we fucking eat it up I love it but the only thing I want to read is about somebody who's been through a lot and come out the other side and so those are the people who I'm totally invested in helping right now because they're the ones we're gonna shift the planet like we need this we need like I want to install millions of million dollar nervous systems into conscious entrepreneurs and leaders and high performance founders because we need our magic and it ripples everywhere and when you do this work I say to people all the time it like 10x is 100x is every other fucking mastermind every other certification every other mentor everything you've done this isn't like one more thing it like it's like the missing piece that clicks every fucking thing into place I'm sorry I'm just like I went on like a 17 minute fucking page and there I'm going to be like the questions that I'm gonna ask you and I'm like oh check you you check that one off so like you're actually answering the questions that I was going to ask you but I just have to say how deeply I resonate with you with all of this it's like we have to go through the initiation we have to see how we lead ourselves through these these challenging times right and there's the layer deeper the layer deeper the layer deeper I feel you on that so much and that's why I'm so passionate about this work because I said the same exact thing that you said when I learned this work nervous system semantics this is the missing piece it is literally the missing piece and it was so powerful how you shared with your client the seven figure business owner who was exhausted this simplicity of this work I think is so powerful because yes we are so inundated with noise the next strategy be on these calls all these bonuses all these things no let's strip away what's not let's lock and load what is that precision right and look at how you did that on that call where you said all you need to do right now is fucking exhale because you can come to me being overwhelmed and spiral and talk about it what is that helping when your body actually just had to exhale for a moment so let's start with the title of this book and and I love you and I appreciate you for everything you just dove into there it answered all my questions and more than I had ready for you for the beginning here but it was it was beautiful and wonderful and you explain the patterns that you were seeing over and over for yourself the delay the press to compress oh procrastination the not be able to initiate and do the thing even though you had the you know the thing going with like yeah I want to write my book she she contacted you and you're like nope not ready for that right like ghosting all of that comes up you know the state of the state of freeze all those things right so these hidden patterns underneath were just dictating your outcome and your outcomes were not that great right during that time so and you answered my question of when did you realize the nervous system was a missing piece it is when you went through all of that when you started observing being in the room on masterminds being like what what's going on these are incredible women what is what is that block so that leads us to the Ferrari frequency let's start with this title it is so fucking fun by the way I told you before we hopped on the call but I was like I love how you made this deep inner work fucking fun like because it can get very daunting and heavy and it's like oh we're gonna go into your traumas and into this and that and peel back the layers and it's like I don't want to go there you made it so simple and so precise and and it's just your method right that you were doing all along that you just had given name to you just had to put it in a framework right you did that in this book and I told you I literally read this book as fast as a Ferrari because I was like oh wait I want to do the next chapter now okay I answered the question for the first chapter okay let's go to the next And getting to the question, the question of the day, which is like, what makes you not want the success? I had to sit with that one for a very long time. I could not answer that right away, to be completely honest, 'cause I've been doing this deep in her work, so I'm like, but I do, I do want it, right? So that was, that was a really good one. So let's start with the title, what is the Ferrari frequency and like, why a Ferrari? - I love this. Don't ask me about the Ferrari. So, look, it's so funny. When I first saw the cover, I was like, oh my god, I'm so cringe. I was like laughing so hard, I'm like, fuck it. And literally the first page says, for every brilliant, my like two, I'm like, for every brilliant mission-led human who knows exactly what they want next, but can't figure out why the fuck they keep hitting the break, commit to the cringe and watch your business go boom. I just like had to laugh, 'cause I saw the cover, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so cringe. So when I was preparing for a big talk in Wisconsin, it came up again, so last minute, before opportunities would come up and I would just stall, or I'd have the emergency break on, like I would want to do the talk, or I'd want to do something, but there was so much fear and it was, it wasn't just fear, it was like an actual grabbing of my energy in my body and it like, I actually couldn't, it was like in molasses, like I couldn't do the thing, or I'd think about it for so long and then I would get into overthinking and then I would just ghost it because of the overwhelm, right, like tasks, I'd just be like, I can't, like I don't, I can't think about it right now, I'm too busy, I can't. And so when I was preparing for this huge talk that was like, I had like two and a half weeks to prep, or three weeks and every other person in the talk had like months, like six months to prepare. I saw this thing on social media from Nick B.G., actually the founder of Aurelis magazine and she posted like, hey, we just had one speaker spot open up. If anyone, like I'm super picky, but if you, if you, like if it's you, message me and I like fire emoji did it and I got the shower. And then I was like, all I heard was this voice, like what the fuck are you doing? Go put yourself in the fucking game. And I was like, oh, so I'm like butt naked, I run over to my phone and I voice noater, it's like whatever, 40 second voice on it, I was like, hey Nick, I don't know if you're looking for somebody like pretty unhinged, but like I specialize in trauma, the nervous system and the intersection of high performance, you know, I don't know what kind of speaker looking for. Anyways, she gets back to me like right away and she's like, can you hop on a call? I'm like, it could not be Zoom, some naked. But yes, I will get on a call right now. Like it's just speed. So get on a call. We chat about nothing to do with the talk. We literally like just, you know, when you on stepbrothers and they're like, do we just become best friends? Like we were like dying with laughter, being so unhinged. She's like, you're in, let's go. So I'm like, fuck, I have like, I just said yes. I had no childcare. My ex was like, I can't take the kids and I was like, okay, I said yes, something's got to work out. Yeah. He, going to all the storytelling, he gets back to me like two hours later and he was like, the weirdest thing happened. Plans change and you can go when I was like, fuck yeah. So anyways, I had two and a half for three weeks to create slides. I'm speaking in front of hundreds of entrepreneurs. I get the list of who's gonna be talking there. I remember this moment in the bath. I'm sitting there and I get the like, list and it's like Jordan Cheyenne and like Man of Station expert. There's like all of these huge the millionaire mother and Cassandra Britton. Like, there's like, these really big speakers. And then it's like, we get the actual full-ite tinerary and it's like opening panel. Jen Gawley, Christine Bano. And I was like, are you fucking giving me right now? I'm going after Jen Gawley, like the keynote speaker of keynote speakers of keynote speakers who's teaches everyone had a keynote. It was like my first big talk and I'm like, okay, sink or swim, speed, precision. Can I do this? Anyways, I had a bit of a little like mini meltdown for like two seconds and I was like, you fucking off this sink or swim, let's go. And when I was trying to prepare the slides, I will end the plane on this, I promise. When I was going to prepare the slides, I was trying to get everything perfect. I was like, okay, what am I gonna talk about? I've gotten nailed this. How is a good keynote? I was like, YouTube'ing keynotes and like all these different things and the more I did that, my whole body and my whole energy just started like, siphoning out like it was terrible. And finally at the 11th hour, I'm saying probably four days before I had to fly out or three days before I had to fly out, I got stuck in Montreal, my mom, we float to Florida and I got stuck in Montreal. And at 11, like 47 pm, the whole entire talk came through, a channel through and it's like, you're a fucking Ferrari. And it was like Christine Bano, you do not people stop trying to be perfect, stop trying to get at fucking right, you are so unhinged, people love you 'cause you're cringiest fuck, you swear like it's sailor, you're just, you never know what to expect with you and you have to go teach it like a live masterclass, get in the fucking room with them. People don't need one more speaker being like, hey everybody in like super performative and like, all right everybody, you know, this is what you're gonna do and like, la la la, like people have enough of that. Go deep, get the fuck in there, share your story. Don't like, don't hold anything back, like get in there with them. They won't give them a speech that is a transformation and a transmission and integration on the spot. People don't need more, they need integration, they need to, they need to like effortless. And so I was like, fucking, it's like, get, my sister was said to me one time, she's like, you're like the Mentos to Coke, people's Coke, like you drop a Mentos in and you go boom. So she's like, that's what you do for people's businesses and it's through the lens of trauma in the nervous system because you just help them clear that energy super fucking quick. So the analogy came through as this download and it was like, you're a, tell, talk to them. You're a fucking Ferrari, you're a high performance vehicle, you're sexy as fuck, like you are, you're the problem is is that you're driving this high performance vehicle with the gas and the break on, so you look like a fucking spaz, you're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, because you want the thing you want, right? This is what's circling back to your, that thing that you had to pond around. When I say the gas in the break, the gas is like your soul, it's why you want what you want. There's very obvious reasons, you want money, you want impact, you want to, you know, fight for his class, you want to go to tropical islands, whatever, you want to buy a farm and like live with horses, whatever, you want to send your kids to private school. There's all sorts of shit that why we want, you know, we want to give back, you know, all these things. That's a very obvious, that's on heart. Any manifestation person can teach you that. But then we all have this part of us, I call it the break. It's like where you're nervous, it's just a cozy emergency break on, because when you think of what you want, we have to ask ourselves the question, what is it going to require of us? Who are we going to have to become? Right? What is that going to cost us? What's going to change? Right? So for me, for example, I wanted to speak on stages, I wanted to write a book. I wanted to have global impact. Okay, well, that's like me sitting in my Ferrari, it's throwing, taking out my phone, putting it into the GPS of the Ferrari. I'm saying destination, global stages, impacting, you know, millions of people, blah, blah, blah, money, okay, great, does the math, calculates the math on your vision. (imitates engine) Oh, hmm, it says, checks the data files in you, your past essentially, and it says, what do I know about this subject, and who you'd have to become? Well, you'd have to be ultra visible. You'd have to be, people would have to know you, they'd have to, you'd have to be very vulnerable. What do I know about groups, large groups of women? What do I know about trusting people? What do I know about, if you want to get to that, large enough to hire a team? What do I have, what data do I have on running a team? Well, I know what it's like to run a team with 21 employees while I'm drowning in government assistance living with an addict husband. I know that. It knows how, you know, all my, the rupture with my best friend, a business partner, it knows humiliation, bullying as a kid. So because all of that, it's not that that happened, it's that the energy that it produced, the survival hormones, the stress in the cortisol, and the adrenaline, and all of those stress hormones that get pumped into our body when something part happens, overwhelming happens, because I hadn't cleared the cash, it's in the book, I hadn't cleared the cookies, I hadn't cleared the energy for my body, every time I put my destination to my GPS, it was still calculating all of those experiences as real and alive and in the now, because the body is always in the present moment, it's always in the now, so there's no concept of time, so it's all sitting there, and so it's all really happening right now. So I was clogged, I was full, and so it says, well, Christine, I love that for you. However, that's extremely unsafe, very dangerous, you are already overwhelmed, you already have 8,222 unread emails, you're already feeling like you're not present with your kids right now, you already are rushing from place to place, so yeah, no, we're gonna go off-roading, so it's like, yeah, let's start the car, and then you're driving, and then you wind up, I wanna go to the Caribbean and like, Turks and K-Cost and the beautiful blue water, and I think I'm driving there, and then I'm actually driving to the Sahara Desert, right? It's like totally different destination, that's the equivalent of, I think I'll create an Oracle deck that will prove me zero revenue and take me eight months to build, that's great. I'll sign up for that next Southern certification that will make me feel like I'm gonna be stronger, more powerful, more confident, it'll never happen, it'll just buy me another nine months of my life though I won't have to be visible, and I won't have to go out and do scary things, right? So it's the reason we want to clear trauma has to do [BLANK_AUDIO] system is trauma creates these false alarms and it's constantly setting up our nervous system falsely saying that's dangerous. This is happening and and also like when you're in survival and a lot of high performers are because that's the thing that makes high performance. I want to show dad or mom that I'm worthy. I want to show my friends from high school that I made it. I will fucking show them. I'll prove it to them. You know, they've had hard paths and so they want to make it but they find you know, midlife that they're exhausted and that it actually just doesn't work anymore. Their business doesn't work anymore. They're not happy. They're not connected with their children. They're like and their system literally shuts them down and says no more. We're fucking done. This is where I swoop in and I'm like I got you is going to be fast quick. Fun efficient. Let's fucking go. So like I want things fast. The friar is fast and so anyways, landing plane. It came from a download and I've just followed it because when I think of trauma nervous system, I personally used to think very boring. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't sexy. I didn't want to do the work. I just wanted to make millions and so I was like how do I make this this work is the work that makes everything else work and it is the most important foundational thing we can do. And if we don't do it, we're literally pushing like it's like carrying 8,000 rocks on it back up the hill. So I'm not having it. So we need to create this sexy analogy. We need to make this fun. Like even on the stage, I say you guys, I don't want to heal. Like I don't want you to regulate just and just to heal just for baseline. I want you to be so regulated and so fucking on fire that you want to disregulate for the plot. Like I want to make trauma and the nervous system and dysregulation so fucking sexy because we're just we're dysregulating because it's choice. It's excitement. Right? It's like what can I what am I capable of? What can I build? How many people can I serve? And so that's my whole thing is like this is like the secret sauce that makes everything else work. But I want to package it in a way where people want to do it because if you don't, I don't want to spend 30 grand on healing my inner child. Can you feel how like? It's like no, I'm good. I said when I read your book, I'm like you just made it fucking fun because this shit is deep. It makes you feel things. It can be a very long journey of healing and trying to fix and trying to rewire and all these things. And it can become heavy. But if you can make it fun, if you can see the exact thing that this woman has to go through or bring to the surface to get her to that next level, you see it. And it's like, boom, here we go, baby, like there's no messing around, right? Whereas, you know, a traditional business coach, might be like, you need this kind of strategy. You have to do it this way. You're like, no, I always say you are the blueprint. You have an iconic woman blueprint within. And part of that blueprint is your nervous system and regulating and rewiring that nervous system so that you can run like a Ferrari. Because like this is a thing is like we think people think, oh, this is the problem when it's actually so much deeper, right? It's so much deeper. And that's what you bring out in this book. You bring out what that deeper thing is. And then the invite to obviously take a deeper with you. But like it was so powerful, just the profound simple, again, simple, actionable steps that you take to dissect and really get there. But like you get there. And you get there fast by going through the book, you know, so I just I love how you did that. And I feel like this is something that now that it just has the verbiage to go along with what is actually happening, right? The analogy you use, it's like it was so great. It's like you have your your foot on the gas and you have them on the break. It's like, oh my god, there it is. It's that sneaky little survival patterns are being like, oh, remember when you were with that narcissist X and he told you to dim your light and and not shine bright and not talk to the people over there because they think that you're like they don't want to in the conversation or squash your dreams, right? Whoa. And like all the stuff about even motherhood and feeling like there's just so much, right? There's so many layers, but it's like, whoosh, you go in and it's like, what is the thing? And it's so easily dissectable when you've been doing this work for so long. When you've had these clients where you're like, you couldn't put it a name to like what you're actually doing and now you have a name to it. So it's like boom boom boom. Here we go, right? And that's what you did here in this book and that's what you take people for. And I just absolutely absolutely love that. But the one my most favorite part of the book was the question of why might you not want the thing that you say that you want? So let's really really talk about that and then we'll close out here because that is such a profound question. Yeah, it is and it's something that people don't ask because they don't it's not light and fluffy, right? And like I was in the manifestation world for so long and I was so irritated with myself because I and so ashamed because I was like, I don't get it. Like act as if and I wanted and I, you know, I was so confused because I'm like, well, other people are manifesting stuff. Where's my stuff? And it's very obvious. You know, you can journal all day. Why you want something and what you're manifesting and it's so fun and create the vision board. But if you don't ask yourself and it's such a simple question, if you don't ask yourself, why don't I like and it's not a serious quite it's more of a playful like, okay, if I was just to like fuck around and find out, I wonder why I might not want that thing. Hmm. I wonder and people are like, I don't know, but when you give these examples, these tangible examples, it makes a lot of sense. Like ask people at the time, you know, when they're like, I want it, I'm like, great, great. So your neck, so you want to serve 100 clients and you want to, okay, so great. So right now, what if we hand you all that right now and right in this moment? What happens? And a lot of people, you can see them a little stunned because all of a sudden their body starts to contract. They feel tight shortness of breath. All these pieces, because it's like, well, shit. Like if I right now, they're like, okay, you have everything you want. You have the big millions of millions of people all of a sudden, I'm like, oh my god, the way that I'm acting right now and think like my phone would be blowing up. I'd have emails. I'd have no tea. Like right now, I don't have a team infrastructure. I don't have automation set up like all these things, right? And also, I'm like, I actually really want to spend time with my kids. And like if I, not to say I can't have it all, but there would have to be more infrastructure and there would have be some things set up. And I would have to shift as a person, right? Like for a lot of people, they're like, I want it. And then we spend this fun game shaming ourselves and getting mad at ourselves that we're like, something's wrong with us. But there's a part of us who doesn't want it. Because it's like, if it came right now, you're really enjoying your time with your kids. And that's the biggest thing you value. So maybe creating a really successful high ticket one-to-one business and intimate retreats and small circles is actually the best thing for you right now. Maybe that's actually what you really, really want. And it's aligned with your values right now. We don't have to go big if we don't want, you know, like whatever that big is for you. But it's looking like, why might my system see that what I want as dangerous, overwhelming, right? Or and like what might it be kicking up from my past? Because for me, I wanted it. And I played this game with myself forever and being like, I wanted it. I want it. It's not coming. What's wrong with it? I'm not. It was constantly in luck. But deep down there was a lot of like parts of me I hadn't even gone to that were like, Christine, I'm terrified of being seen. People are going to come after us on the internet. You know what that feels like to have mean girl and hate and coming at you. And because I hadn't cleared this store, like store, or had this rival energy around that, my capacity was low. So there's a lot of talk right now about building capacity. And it sounds like something you have to do. And it's one more mental thing if you like, figure out, well, how do I build capacity? And it's like, oh, well, I just need to regulate my nervous system. No. Because if you keep regulating, all you're doing a lot of the time, if you don't clear trauma in the stored survival energy, you can keep regulating. But you're, you're always operating at 100% of 70%. So you're just re-regulating. You might tap or you might do something and you get back to regulation. You meditate. You're regulated again. Great. But guess what? The next time something triggers you or somebody says something or something happens that overwhelms you or somebody does something, the energy is still there. So you become a full-time job regulating yourself. I don't have fucking time for that. I want to clear, I want to clear trauma. Real fucking quick, which is just going into your own body. This is something you can see in the book. You can let, I have some processes in there. There's a workbook as well. And obviously I do this work more in-split with people as well in the install. But you can literally go into your body right now. You can literally go in and close your eyes and be like, why do I not want this thing? Why might be dangerous? Why, if I had this right now, your body speaks to you. Put your hands on your body. Speak to your body. Ask, my body could speak right now. What would it say? Starting to get intimate with the body, the body is the piece that we keep leaving behind. And it's not just, let me just tap and let me dissociate my body. It's like, it's like fuck off. What the hell? Our inner child lives in the body. It just wants to be heard. It wants to feel validated and seen. And when we do that work, we work with the body and we fall back and love with it. All of a sudden the emergency brake lifts off. And all of a sudden, we're like, our system's like, you know what? I do want it too. And when you get your mind, your body, your spirit and nervous system on board, you're fucking off to the races. You're like, you can't not. Like I actually in the book I talk about the million dollar mission trifecta formula, because I study this as well, what makes people pop off and what made me pop off, right? And I look and when I when you combine your story, so what you've been through, everything you've been through, and when you do the trauma work, you can remember the story and the wisdom, it's not like that goes, but there's no charge to it or there's very little charge. So you can talk about your story without getting overwhelmed or you know all those things that happen when you start talking about it. But if you combine your unique story, everything you've been through, don't leave anything out, especially the super crans or like raw stuff, your story, your God-given gifts, like what you're so fucking good at, what you can do better than anybody else, what you're obsessed with, like what keeps you up at 3M? For me, I was obsessed with getting to the root of this, right? And if you combine that with your million dollar nervous system, you are fucking like your business will go boom. There's no way it cannot. But people right now, because they're nervous because they're dysregulated because they have trauma, they're copy and pasting other people on the internet because their way of being is approved, it's like, ah okay, that's great, that works. Let me try this on and it never works or works temporarily, but then they always piece out of the industry or something happens because it's not theirs, it's not their unique lane. The foreigners sustain their lane, but they're traveling over and being like, I'll take your lane. And then there's all this chaos and I'm like, no, no, no, when you combine those things, you're the category of one, like you are that, you're the fucking one to make this thing happen, right? So, ask yourself that question, why might not you, why might you not want it? And it's playful, it doesn't have to be anything serious, but when you look at what it would cost you and who'd have to become and what things you'd have to face and what infrastructure you'd have to put in and, you know, if you're sitting around like eating hoes on the couch and you're like, I want to be a leader of millions, it's like, okay, but if that came to immediately, or do you have the leadership, do you have the boundaries? Because all of a sudden we're like, I want to impact millions of people, but we're sitting there people pleasing and have no boundaries. Well, guess what? We're going to be completely overwhelmed and being a fucking psych ward if we have millions of people coming at us because we don't know how to say no to things, right? And so anyways, that's I'll leave it now. I love that and I love how you dove into the, because I mean, nervous to work has been, becomes such a buzzword now and regularly spinning capacity, expanding and all these things. So I love how you beautifully articulated what it actually means. And no, we don't want to just be constantly regulating ourselves without getting to the root, without rewiring and without doing that constantly every single day, every minute of the day, catch yourself be like, nope, nope, not happening. I'm going to rewire to this new identity, right? And that is where I feel like a lot of people get it twisted thinking, oh, I just have to sit there, I just have to breathe and feel into my body and then, oh, we're done. No, you need to go there. You need to dissect it. And also, I love what you said about wanting and desiring the thing that maybe someone else has their success, the money, the freedom, whatever it might be. But your mom who loves to be with her children and also is very ambitious and loves her job. So the thing that is blinding you is the desire of what that person has, but that doesn't mean that you have to fit yourself in the box and do it that way and have this, you know, a big mastermind or do this or that, you need to do what works for you and your unique blueprint, your, your unique nervous system and go through some of those shadowy parts to be like, okay, actually, we need to do these things and titrate and expand our capacity here in order to get that and also acknowledge what season you're in as well. Because I think those two things, when you look at those two three things underneath the hood, right, then you really can decipher, okay, is this a past trauma thing or is this me lying to myself? And I always say, when you get into your nervous system, it allows you to become truthful with yourself. Like, actually truthful to yourself. And you realize how much you've been lying to yourself when when it's just like, oh, just facade, I'm just going through life and just keeping myself busy and doing the next thing and next thing. You realize how much you've been lying to yourself and that's why it feels heavy. Yeah, well, and I think trauma makes us lie to work. Like, trauma's the thing that, I would even say, distorts who we are. Like, it actually changes the brain. So it's like, when we, when we are releasing, if you're sitting here wondering, like, how do I release it? Obviously, I can come connect with me, but I, I'm doing right now, actually, a five live workshop series called the Million Dollar Nerve System Installation. And we just started yesterday and it was fucking incredible. I don't know when this is coming out, but you can either join or you could do, I'm going to be selling it afterwards. But it's, I did our session yesterday called clearing the cache and it was unbelievable. And I just was like, I don't want anyone to fucking effort. Like, we close our eyes. They got the meditation right after I sent it to them in the audio. And it just, when you just go into your body, so I also believe I love your piece about identity because identity is such a big piece of this. And that's one of my workshops too. But I think trauma keeps the identity intact. So trauma is like the anchor, like the old experiences, the survival energy. I know sometimes the word trauma for people is a little triggering. And they're like, I don't feel, I don't like that word. I want you to think of trauma as just any experience that was overwhelming and a bunch of stress hormones and cortisol and, you know, got pumped into your body. And there was no safe place to process them or you didn't have a safe witness. You weren't validated. You just had to kind of like, keep it to yourself. That's when they get stored. All of that energy just gets stored in the body. And it starts showing up as trauma increases inflammation, right? It increases, like stress hormones, cortisol, like all sorts of things start happening. And it actually downregulates. So this is why if you're in a room or a mastermind or you're working with a mentor or you're in a certification and you're having a hard time retaining information, trauma downregulates neuroplasticity. So meaning your ability to learn and form new connections. So if you're having a hard time, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just that if you think of a gazelle and on the wild, there's a lion coming at it and we're like, gazelle, it's just that what you're thinking had on. Let's learn about your new effort. Let's scale our our family. Let's scale our business right now into the gazelle. Let's meditate. Let's relax. It's like, you fucking kidding me right now. There's something coming at me. It's not a time to learn. It's not a time to reproduce, to have kids. It's not a time to go out and be optimal, right? It's not an optimal time to do that. So for me, I felt so stupid because I was in rooms and I'm like, I don't really remember the calls. Like I can't integrate. I don't remember them. I didn't realize that it was downregulating neuroplasticity. So I actually was way harder to form new neural pathways, which is like the precursor of manifestation, right? Like it's wild these things and I was like, oh my god, and trauma's sort of high definition as well in your brain. So really what I'm doing is I'm taking it from high depth to low depth and which I love. I worked with a mentor Dr. Don Wood and he was fantastic. Like teach me all about this, but like you go into low definition and then all of a sudden you can still recount the story. You still have the memory and the wisdom from it. You extract the wisdom, but there's not that. And trauma I think really is the piece that you know, sometimes it is feels like it's hard to change an identity or it's like it's like you're trying to change behaviors, but you keep reverting back. It's just a lot of the old energy you're pushing against. And so when you go into your body and you start clearing it's a lot of times you're like, well, how do I do it? And I'm like, there's a process, but you can read some of it in the book and go deeper, but just clearing the energy of the body makes it so that you don't have to even try to change your identity. You just start changing it. You don't have to try to think about how to do something. It just happens. Like when I reflect back, I'm like, how did I get here? How did I write a fucking number one bestseller and six categories and international bestseller? I wrote this three fucking weeks and had a publishing was the bestseller in three weeks. I was thinking how long did it take you to write it? Not very long at all. This is three weeks. It was in Puerto Rico. We almost mean just almost saw two people drown, father and son drown. And it was this moment that just said, what the fuck are you doing? Like if there's people drowning out there and on some dramatic, but like people need us. They need, if you're listening to this, you're a conscious entrepreneur, you're a fucking parents, you're a furry. They need us. They need our medicine. Right? And so if we sit, if I sat on the rick's Carlton where I was and like sat in the chairs and looked out and was like, am I qualified? Does my hair look good enough? She looks better. I think she's more qualified. I think she should be the one to go save them. Right? I just, I took action. We fucking move so fast. And afterwards I had this massive big cry. And I was like, this is what we're equivalent of what we're doing. We're sitting here on gold and medicine, judging ourselves and all these pieces. And again, when I say judging ourselves, whenever it comes to self-savotage, jumping to judging ourselves or any of these like, we're doing it, we're not doing it. It's not us actively choosing this. It's just old energy that's literally doing the math, calculating it and making things hard for us because it just loves us so much. It doesn't want us to go out and create more chaos, more pain. So that's why to create capacity. When we clear trauma, we instantly create capacity. We don't have to try to create capacity. It's like when that energy moves up and out of the body and it processes and it integrates, it instantly creates space. It instantly creates life force energy. We have capacity instantly. So then we can go along somebody, some asset on the internet says, you're a fucking loser. And we're like, whatever. You know, it doesn't bother us because we don't, it's not pinging on 17 triggers from our past where the energy is just sitting there and then we explode on them and we're like, I can't do this. I'm overwhelmed. Right? It's not that. It's just that it creates all this capacity. So, okay, I'm going to shut up because I could literally just fucking go on and on and on and on and on. But I've got to climb fuck. I got to run. I got a fucking one of my clients down. But I just thank you so much for letting me just like, riff today and share with your audience. And yeah, I'm just so grateful you're such a badass. You're such a powerhouse. You're doing amazing things in the world. And I'm just so grateful you asked me to come on here. - Well, I'm so grateful for you as well. And when I sat next to you on that patio, on that gorgeous sunny day, and we were just like all cozy and intimate and just chilling. Like, meeting for the first time, I was just like, this is my woman. Like, my heart just expanded. We were so open, so vulnerable with each other. And I said, I have to get her on here. I have to support her in this beautiful book that she launched in the beauty of the work that you do because I do deeply feel so passionate about it. It is the missing piece. And I just, I love everything that you share today. Every part of your story, every little nugget that someone's gonna take and be like, whoa, this right here. And then they're gonna go ahead and be like, boom, I need to hire her. Or, I'm incredible dissecting these things because we're both deeply intuitive and just so passionate about this work. And we just need more women connecting to their true selves. And this is how we do it. We need more women getting themselves out there into the world, sharing their gifts because yes, there are people drowning. And yes, time is of the essence. So do it and be fast like a fucking Ferrari. Let's fucking go. - So on that note, let's go, baby. Let's go. Love you. - Wow. - Thank you so much, everybody, for listening. I can't wait to connect. So good.