Ep. 4: What Happens to Our Brains in MLM-Pt. 2

[Music] Hey guys, this is Megan. Welcome to the MLM recovery room. This is episode 4 and I'm super excited about this one. So we all know why we're here, but for anybody who is just joining us, this is the MLM recovery room. And this is a safe space where you can unpack your experience and heal after the devastation from multi-level marketing. So as we all know, there is emotional, spiritual, and hopefully not, but sometimes there can be physical devastation that comes from being in multi-level marketing, whether you are in for just a little bit for a long time. I was in for 14 years. So we've got a lot of different things to unpack. Everybody has different experiences and everybody kind of metabolizes those experiences differently. So this is actually something that's been really good for me to talk to you guys over the last month and a half or so. So just a side note, I do plan to be putting out more consistent episodes. So there have been a few hiccups on my end, you know, with just technical issues. This is my first podcast and I've been figuring this out on my own. And then, you know, as I've been needing help asking around kind of learning what questions to ask. So, and you know, really, I'm not needed that kind of thing because I felt like I had to do that for a long time when I was in Amway. So except for the fact that I had a really good sponsor, which you all know if you heard the last episode, a lot of the time in Amway, I felt like I had to just figure it out on my own. And when it still didn't make sense, it really kind of put me into a place where I was like, do I actually have what it takes at all? Which is part of what we're going to talk about. So last episode, we were talking about what happens to your brain when you're in an MLM. We talked about building a cognitive bias through the repeated exposure effect because the more that you're exposed to something, the more likely it is that you will accept it as the truth. And that's how cults, that's how MLMs actually work. So they just get you and they get you with the one little thing. They hold your belief against you. And then basically say that you for with a lack of better will of saying it say that you're a loser for not believing hard enough or not doing enough to then make that dream happen. So but there's a lot to talk about with the know that but today we're going to talk about a lot of different things. So we're going to go back into a little bit of review of what we did talk about last time. You know, there's that social conditioning that repeated exposure effect, which can cause you to have a cognitive bias. So that's why people who are in long enough are they become like robots. They become those hunts that we all hear about that they just do everything that they're told they need to do. And they don't want to be the loser. They don't want to be the odd one out. They want their appliance adoration and approval. So they're going to do what they need to do. They're going to do different things and put the money into the business so that they can get those rewards, which the rewards really are not even what they promise it's more of just clout within the small little group. How sad is that by the way. But yeah, so we're going to build on what we've talked about. I'm going to talk a little bit about, you know, your self image and how that all takes a hit when you're in an MLM. I know firsthand because for many reasons, but 13 years. And just, you know, there's still things that I'm healing from every day. I'm laughing so much more now, by the way, if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I post memes almost every day. I've made all of those memes. And I am having a total blast just making so much fun of MLMs and MLMers and coaches and upline and all of that stuff. So I mean, it's that's part of the healing journey for me is, you know, just dragging it all through the mud. But I hope everybody's enjoying those. Yeah, so we're going to talk a little bit about self image, how the different things that you, you the constructs that you build up in your mind and how those can take an effect on you. Touching a little bit on finances on narcissism, you know, the different things that you go through when you're in the business. And I just about drop my notes there. So if you heard that crash, that's what that was. I do have a few other things I want to talk about too. I like to write my notes down. So I'm not. I'm technologically savvy, but I'm not like, you know, futuristic about it. I'm I still write things down, which actually is a good thing came in handy in my time in Amway because I wrote down all my notes. And I still have all of those notebooks, which exciting thing we're actually going to talk about a couple things that are in those notebooks tonight. So I'm really excited. This is going to be a fun episode. And we're going to just get right into it here. So I'm convinced that multi level marketing is by narcissists for narcissists. So not all of us who were in it are narcissists. Okay, like there are going to be people who are genuinely amazing people. And who were in multi level marketing, I met many of them are I like to think I'm one of the good ones. I mean, because I mean no harm to anybody. And I just I want everybody to succeed in life. But in a real way, not in a multi level marketing wave. But I'm convinced thoroughly that multi level marketing is for narcissists by narcissists. Now reason I say that is because I've been going through some of the notes that I took while I was in it. And some of the things that I thought that I should write down was just amazing. And a lot of times I wrote the I wrote things down because they sounded good. And I wanted to go back and review that. Because I'm like, I'm one of those that I feel like there's always so much of life going on that I need to find some sort of way to benchmark that for myself. So like I take a lot of photos. I, you know, sometimes will record my own thoughts because I don't have time to sit down and write them. So life just moves so quickly that it's like if I don't write step down or if I don't record it in some way, I may not remember. And the past this was no exception. Like I've always had other things in my life and other things that I care about. And, you know, I wanted to make sure that I was doing my part to build the quote unquote business. So looking at some of these notes, I'm like, okay, this is, this is terrible. The things that you think are important when you're in an MLM. It's like, how, who got me to that point? It's, it's incredible. So I'm going to read some of these things. I have flagged so many different things. And I'm going to pepper them into this episode. But just look in at this here. Okay. So we, this, these notes here are from September of 2019. And we had, we would always have our weekly meeting. So, amway is notorious for meetings and trainings and the tools business is actually what runs really the trainings and everything. That's the lifeblood of the tools business because the more people that are suckered in and hanging on to these trainings thinking this is the key to success, the more money the higher ups make. And, um, anybody has an argument about that. Let's go. I'm, I'm ready to, like, fight somebody about this. But I haven't really, I haven't had many messages lately of people been like, why are you talking about this this way? You're wrong. It's not a pyramid scheme or, you know, tell it. There haven't been many people telling me that lately, so I'm like maybe I'm not making much of a scene as much as I should. But anyway, some of the things from this particular training were really disgusting. This says, "Speak about your upline with admiration." Like, they literally had to tell us to speak about our upline with admiration. And that's two other people that we were talking about the business or friends or family or whoever. And I know why they say that for a couple of reasons because then again, that cognitive bias. If you think that your upline is amazing and just such a hero and you admire them so much, then the more you keep saying that, the more you're going to believe that. But also, it's to just sucker more people are coming into it. Like, if you're out and about trying to go prospect shopping, and go meet some people to solicit them and harass them, which they just call contacting. But if you're out doing that and you're like, "Oh, I'm hooked up with some young entrepreneurs and we're expanding our team, blah, blah, blah, blah." But you're talking about them as if they're such heroes. But somehow you got lucky enough to get access to people like this. That's an actual line a lot of us said. Then other people are going to theoretically think that that upline is just some sort of person to be revered. No such luck. We're going to talk more about self-image and how that works. But then there was something that they called your regular self-image and then your business self-image. And it's just as stupid as it sounds. Now, everything that they can take and make it into something that you overthink they're going to. Because the thing that these people love to do, the people running the tools business or anybody in an upline sort of arena, they love to basically make you overthink things so that you are not able to think for yourself anymore so that you think, "Wow, these people are so wise. I need to listen to them," or "I hadn't thought of that before." And they've got the key, so I need to lock in on them. And so to talk about what a business self-image is, they said that it's your calendar. It basically is a reflection of your self-image. So the busier you are, the better your self-image is. Then your regular self-image or things like your relationships and the books that you're reading. And I had mentioned in the last episode, some of the books were okay. I did enjoy some of them. I still have all of them. I just haven't decided what I want to do with them really, but some of them are literal just a cash grab. But then if that's a book that you're reading and you make sure that everybody knows that that's what you're reading, your scene is having a really strong self-image. And a lot of something a lot of people would do with their physical notebook, because they pushed you bringing a physical notebook to write your notes. The other thing that you would do is bring the book that you're reading that week. And don't you dare have the same book two weeks in a row because then people are going to know you're not taking it in. Because what else are you doing with your time? How dare you sit down and relax and watch a movie? You need to be reading. And so you just show off the book that you're reading every week at the info session at the training. So that's basically part of your self-image. They would tie that all together. So that's disgusting. And another one here that I've highlighted, your success will only go as far as your character can keep you. Oh my gosh. So to these people, okay, your character is shown by how big of a business you have or by how many distributors underneath you have. Like I'm still trying to shed some of the verbiage because I got used to saying in the business or my business or whatever, when again, in reality, nobody there is a business owner, you're a contractor, you're a glorified contractor with a superiority complex. That's it. And so it says your success will only go as far as your character can keep you. So of course, if we can tie the two together, then we can make it your fault for not getting further. You see how they do that? That makes me want to throw my notebook. Like, I'm not happy with that. But it's just interesting that I felt the need to write this down because I was for years in a place of so much guilt that I wasn't yet diamond. I wasn't yet where I supposedly wanted to be. And that's why they like to keep you because if you're pliable in that way, then you're going to do whatever it takes, whatever they're telling you to do so that you can get to the next level. That's how they keep the tools business going. That's the reason for the business, too. It's not even, oh, look at this great product that I have. You are the product. They even said that in a few trainings, but now that has a more sinister meaning now that I know more. So these are just a few things. I wanted to start us off with a bang apparently. So on the note of self image, I mentioned that a little bit ago. When you set goals as you're an IBO, as you're any kind of distributor with an MLM, you set goals and you set the high ones and how the culture was within LTD, which is again, part of AMway. It's one of the education systems that's hooked up with AMway. So you've probably heard of like Bert Worldwide or Worldwide Dream Builders or Network 21, things like that. LTD is another one. And LTD is probably, I don't have personal experience with the others. But I've heard a lot of horror stories from all of them. And of course, I feel like LTD is going to be the worst, but they're all pretty gross. But the culture within LTD was to set a high goal. But then they would also say set a realistic goal as well so that you're not you're not fooling yourself kind of thing. Some of some of the ways that they would talk about setting goals was actually helpful. It was actually pretty good. Like I believe in setting a realistic goal and then setting a stretch goal. But the culture, the team that I was part of was led by people who were very much in love with the attention that they would get. And so then when they themselves would hit goals and then tell everybody about it and start their own fanfare. And you think, wow, I get to be a part of this. I'm part of a team that's making history. I'm doing, I'm helping them with these goals because really you are part of that goal if your upline has a goal. Because if you're doing any sort of volume buying any products or selling anything or sponsoring people so that your upline hits that goal, I mean you are still part of that. You just don't get the the reward of course. So they would they would love to make like set these huge goals. And there would always be talk of how a new way to hit a goal. And there would always be some sort of presentation in a way of like, wow, I am so revolutionary. I am so impressed with myself. My brain is amazing because I thought of this new way to package the same old shit. Not a big cusser, but sometimes it just this stuff just brings it out in me. So if you're sensitive to that, I'm sorry, but when I it's it is the same old shit. The principles are always the same. Success principles are not going to change. They even said that in there yet they're going to take the same old things and package it in a new way so that you're like, wow, this is so new and revolutionary. And then you end up revering the person and not the thing that they just said. Now that might seem a little strange, but you have to understand the culture that I came from with all of this. I was in my young 20s. I was actually I was almost 21 when I got started in Amway. And so you know, in that time, you're so very impressionable as an adult. Like you think you know everything, but at the same time, you're like, wow, I found these cool people who are going places, who are going to help me make my mark in the world. And so then you're just you're open like you are so very vulnerable to them. And this is why they love to pray on college kids because they don't yet have their own like leg to stand on in the world. And so I was so very impressionable thinking that they had the right way to go about this because like, oh, these people are young and successful. I'm going to beat like them if I hang around them and if I listen to them enough. But they, it occurred to me later on that, you know, the motivation is part of the business. This is why the tools business is so big. Like I mentioned in the previous episode, if you always think that you're missing something, then you'll never learn to trust yourself. And so for a while, I really didn't trust myself. It's crazy how that works because when you're in AM way especially, they love to equip you to make these declarations that are so very full of ego, but yet you're like you're talking down to everybody else for not either not being in AM way or for not having a dream or for having a huge ego. And the uproarings would love to actually tell the rest of people that they're not succeeding because of their ego. So basically you need to humble yourself. Well, how do you do that? How do you, what, what other humility do you need? Then struggling to pay your bills because you're spending a thousand dollars a month in the business. They're so artful and sneaky and sneaky. I mean, they are so vile. More of these things are coming out to me as I'm looking back at it. This is the healing journey. It's so messy. It's like, why did I let myself do that? Yet here we are. I mean, I'm not going to let what I went through just live there quietly. I'm going to use it to help people. So I'm hoping this is helping somebody because, you know, just like previous episodes, I have notes, but I also am just kind of going off the cuff here, whatever I need to say. This is, this is the structure that's working here. So, you know, on the note of self image, my self image was so low that I really could not trust myself very much. And that was evidenced by the fact that I would let my upline look at my finances and tell me what I was doing wrong because I, you know, on one hand, I thought there was some sort of key out there, something that I was missing. But then it was also like, well, I'm, you know, I'm living as basic as I can. I, everything was as low that I could get it. And I, you know, there were even times in the business where all I would eat for lunch was rice because that's all I could afford because I was putting so much into the business. And so when you're not seeing any rewards, when you're just seeing the sacrifice and you're like, okay, you know, yes, it's, it's good to put your head down and go accomplish something. But when it erodes at your own self image so much because you're not seeing how this is helping, like you're not even seeing a little bit, the needles not moving at all, the matter how hard you work. And then the work that you are doing and you're bringing people on, you're still not getting where you want to get because the people who you bring on are seeing, okay, there's some cracks in the ice with this business plan. I shouldn't do this. I don't want to do this because over the time I, I sponsored like 13 people, but they all left. And it wasn't all at once, but they did leave for different reasons partially because of the way that, you know, the way the team was run and the people running the team, you know, would mistreat some of the people on my team. There was that. There was also the fact that they were bleeding money as well. I mean, they really had a high, they put a high value on what they called loyalty, but loyalty was sticking around and always having your uplines back. And what that means is always doing the, the sales that you say you'll do. So like if you say you're going to do 300 PV that month, which is, which equates to spending over $900 a month at that time and it's more now, you know, that's having your uplines back or in that, and then that's that equates to loyalty to them. But then when you need their loyalty, that's nowhere to be found. So I mean, just to paint a picture here, you know, 14 years and I know people who were there longer than that who basically helped build what, or helped build what our team became, because it wasn't even, it wasn't even a big thing way back when. But then when I left there were maybe like 150 people there or so, but it became that because of the foundation that myself and others helped lay. And yet when it came time to need to know that I was valued, where was that upline? No where, nowhere to be found. But yet if my loyalty for to them went away, oh gosh, you better believe you're going to hear about it. So knowing that that's the thing and hearing the upline talk about people after they leave, that can really hurt yourself image too. Even though that's not you, you still see that, you still notice like, okay, why is she talking about this person who left that way? That's kind of mean. But basically the only reason that you would ever leave is, you know, because you were no longer living. That's the only good reason to leave. And that uplines eyes. Seeing these patterns, these different things, that's going to erode at yourself image. And it's going to make you wonder, did I make the right decision by getting involved with this? Am I doing enough to win in life? Is this in my in the right place? If I am supposed to be doing more, how can I do that? Because I'm already so tired and strung out. And when you're only sleeping like five hours a night or less, like, it's going to get to you too. You're just, it's a sick cycle. And so yourself image is going to take some hits after all of that kind of thing. And you're not going to be sure that you even deserve what you really want in life. So I, I'm in a place now where I'm happy. Like I'm a very happy person. I get fired up about things, of course. I get kind of, you know, I get fired up about stuff. So, you know, but I'm a very happy person and especially now. So I'm getting married and, you know, planning a wedding. And the other day I got to think in about how grateful I am for my fiance because he was also in the business. He was on a different team. I'm going to have him on as a guest on the episode coming up. I'm really excited about that. And he is my favorite person. And you know, my mom and my best friend are also my favorite people. So, but for so long, I dated the wrong kind of men because that's what I thought I deserved because if you think about it, like if you're what's supposed to be the most important thing in your life, the business, if that's not going the way that you think it should and you're not winning, you're not getting where you want to go, you automatically think, okay, maybe I set the bar too high. Maybe I don't deserve this. So that's going to then trickle down into other areas of your life. And for me, that trickled down into dating. So maybe I didn't deserve the kind of man that I thought I wanted. And so that was evidenced by the choices that I made, the men that I thought just said different times, oh, they could be a good one. I mean, I really, I'm really glad that nothing came of those for many, many reasons. But honestly, like I'm extremely glad that nothing came of those because then I wouldn't be with my fiance. And you know, he's, this is just proof that when you, you know, you want the good thing, Like for me, I prayed to God and I was like, okay, God, I want the right guy and I trust that you've got him for me. And if you have a different belief system, cool, that's fine. But just for me, that's what I did. And God only God could have brought us together. We'll talk about our story in another episode. But it was just really interesting because we hadn't actually met in the business before. We met after we both left. And we were both six hours apart. And so it wasn't even geographically close. We weren't even really supposed to meet according to geography and statistics. But God had another plan for us. But I had to just trust that I was good enough. And so the healing of your self-image, you got to work on it a lot. If you're going through that right now, the thing that I recommend doing is not listening anymore to any negative voice. Any voice that tells you that you're not good enough because you are. And the things that you learn from being in an MLM, in a cult, you have to learn to unlearn that. And that's really hard. It's a grind. It's not going to happen overnight. But it is over that repeated exposure. Use the things that you learned against the business, against the MLM, but for your own benefit. So the repeated exposure effect. I deserve whatever your goal, whatever your thing is that you want. For this particular instance, it's a man who treats me like a princess, protects me, loves me. And wants to build a life with me. That's not too much to ask. When you're equating wanting to do all those things with also being in the business with you, you're making it a real tough sale. But in this case, I'm glad that none of them worked out. But I mean, you absolutely deserve what you want. So don't be afraid to go get it. You just have to not listen to anybody who says that you don't deserve it because they're lying. And anybody who would say that kind of thing anyway, I mean, really, it sounds elementary, but they're jealous. They're jealous of the fact that you still have that that light that fire inside of you. Now, that's not what all I plan to say. But sometimes you just, when we get into it, you need to say some things. There's also a financial aspect to your self image. So for me, I didn't feel like I could make smart financial decisions. So I, one time I took out a payday loan, I decided to do all kinds of second jobs and side hustles and different things that I felt I had to do in order to do more PV, to do more volume, and buy more products so that my upline could hit a higher goal. So, you know, after a while, I wasn't really able to trust my financial decision making. And so, I thought that I was always going to be on the struggle bus and not have the finances that I needed, let alone any extra sitting in the bank. I remember so much the consistent theme for me for a few years in the business was having an overdrawn bank account. Barely, if I had any money sitting in the bank, it would be a dollar. And having to figure out what the next week was going to look like because I didn't get paid until Friday. You can only keep doing that for so long before there's damage. And I mean, I'm not, I'm not where I'm going to be financially. But thank God that that's over because it's really hard to plan for your future when you can't even see past the balance sheet there. Like how messed up is that? But they love to keep people in that spot. And so, when that keeps happening, of course, your self-image is going to take a hit. You're going to think this is what it's going to be the rest of my life. And you don't see the needle moving forward like even a little bit. So how do you expect to actually get to the point where you don't have to worry about that stuff? In the endway business, I'll tell you how it's the tools. Selling tools and having a team underneath you buying those motivational tools. That is the key. That's how people make the money because that's about, I believe it's like three times the actual amount of money. No, it's, I believe it's actually 80% of the money that people make is from the tools. So only 20% of the money is actually like from having a team and everybody buying products. With the self-image, what can also take a hit is your idea of achievement. If you've only gotten this far doing this much, how do you expect to get further and not do more in order to get there? When you're already doing that much, most of the time these IBOs, anybody in any MLM who's just really grinding at this, how are you expecting to get more done if you're already so tired and overworked and stressed and anxious and poor? It's just, it's a hamster wheel. They always talk about getting off the hamster wheel and being the captain of your own ship. But the hamster wheel of having a job and being able to enjoy the time off, and then hopefully, you know, some of us have jobs that we really enjoy. You know, I know not everybody has that, but that's so much better than being in the grind for what reason? For what reason is all of that for? Because for 99% of people who are doing that, they're just going to keep doing it. They're not going to get anywhere. And it has to be that way so that that 1% can succeed. And they would always say, "Oh, there's room at the top. You can join us up here. We want you here." But 99 people have to be in the spot that you were in, the spot that I was in, in order for you to win. And most people don't want to do that to other people. And it's not always about, it's not always as altruistic as, "I don't want other people to go through that." Sometimes it's like, "Look, this isn't right." And it's not working and it's icky. And you just can't keep doing that to your finances. The more that I thought about it and realized that people would have to lose a lot in order for me to gain that, it was like absolutely not. Whatever doubt there was in my mind before, absolutely not. I'm not putting people through that. It's almost criminal. Even though the victims are willing and eager, it's still criminal. And in its intent, it might not be codified actual in the law criminal. But the intent of it is something of a sort of psychopathic character. You have to think about that. So a narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest or admiration in themselves. This is why I said that the business is bynarsisist for narcissists. Because with an AMOI, especially in LTD, all of the trainings that we had to do the endless amount of trainings, they would be led by people who promoted themselves to these positions of power. When in real life, they're not the kinds of people normally that you would want to follow, that you would want to actually talk to, or be like, "You know what, you're a good role model for me. I want to see what you're doing." In the case of the team that I was on, you know, when it's run by people who barely made it out of high school, or dropped out of college, not that that's always the problem. But when it's run by people who are in that role, position, but then they basically become good, become, become master manipulators and can make people feel like they are volunteering to put aside their heart and money so that they can get around these kinds of people. It's like they then put themselves into that position of leadership and come up with these grandiose things in order to quote and quote train their team. And the only leadership that some of these people have is what they've bestowed upon themselves. They don't actually exhibit personal leadership. They don't have any sort of character to where, okay, I'm going to want to follow this person. If you met them out in real life, be like, oh my gosh, I love her hair or whatever or I love his truck, whatever the case may be, but they're not people that you'd actually want to follow. Because once you get to know people, it's like, okay, they're just manipulators. How many people are in these kinds of positions that are who are like that? Like I mentioned before, they package the same old stuff and repackage it in different ways so that you think this is some new creative idea on how to grow the business on how to be an entrepreneur. And like what, basically what I'm getting is whatever happened to examples, whatever happened to, oh, I see this person actually built a good business as an entrepreneur. I want to know what they did. I'd love to interview them, you know, talk to them or something. Somebody who's done something and, you know, able to retire by the age of 50 or somebody who has a good, solid, strong business that I want to see how they did it and do my own like it's not actual business that the success is founded and it's just it's that this own little cult system where they give themselves the title and then keep that going. And they say so many times fake it till you make it. And I mean, look at the quote unquote leaders. They that's what they're doing. Now what these people do also is they will take all of the good things that they that happen in their lives and they will give the business credit for it. So a lot of a lot of your like boss babes will do that too. So like there, there's so many posts like for some of the sent me reps in the last few months, it's been, oh my gosh, I earned that trip to Greece because I sold two million wax melts or, you know, in the case of the team that I was on, there was a girl who we were friends, that's a long story, we were friends. And when I left, she decided that she no longer needed my friendship. Okay. Goodbye. We weren't apparently we weren't really friends. But she was like at the end of the year last year, I paid off this bill. I went on this vacation and, you know, so many great things. This was such a great year. I'm so thankful for my business. I mean, you're not, but you're not, you're not even breaking even at the platinum level. And I know this girl's not yet platinum. And I would say I hope she gets there, but I know that people have to suffer in order for her to get there. So I hope that she doesn't get there. I hope she realizes the truth. But platinum is in am way. It's basically having your entire group having 7500 points running through it every month. And what that equates to the income claims that they would make are about, I believe like three to four thousand dollars a month in an am way income. And then that's when you're also able to start earning money from the tools business, whatever, however much that might be that's that's up to the founder of LTV. So it's not a consistent business plan there, but you're not even breaking even at platinum at that level. Because after you consider all of the expenses and more products that you're going to have to buy and everything that goes with that, including conferences and all of that, you're still bleeding money. So these people are giving credit for different bills being paid off different things. All these good things are going on in their lives to the business. And like, I know that's not the real picture of it. They don't tell you that part. Oh, it's just it's gross because it makes you think that, oh, that's how it's supposed to be. So if that's happening for her, why is that not happening for me? And maybe I need to change something because there was there was always every training. There was always something that I came out with thinking I needed to change. And I had more questions each week. More questions than I ever had answers. I mean, if that doesn't cause anxiety, I don't know what does. Thankfully, I'm healed of that. I mentioned in the in a previous episode that I had a little bit of a bout of depression and anxiety a few months before I left. And I know it's I know it's because of all of that because my I was so confused. My self image was like, I don't know what's right. I don't know what to believe here. And that's really where MLMs thrive. That's the sweet spot. And that's where they want to keep you. And so another thing that it does to you, it will warp your priorities. So much so that just for me, one time the team had a goal and I was telling my upline, I'm going to contribute this much to the goal. And then my mom was in the hospital and I was a bit distracted. And I just don't understand how somebody in their right mind could expect someone whose mother is in the hospital. And you know, my mom's one of my best friends. But how do you can expect someone whose mother is in the hospital to just drop that and race toward whatever goal whatever meeting was going on? Now, unfortunately, in the priorities that were that I had that were out of whack, I actually a different time I had dropped my mom off at the ER and went into a meeting. That's not something that under normal circumstances I would do. And in fact, I can't believe that I did that. But I was so brainwashed that my priorities were not what they should have been. I wish that I was there with my mom. I'm really thankful that she's okay. But I, you know, I apologize to her again. She's like, honey, you don't owe me an apology. It's over. You're fine. I'm okay. We're all good. I'm like, I know. But that's not something that a sort of decision I would have made under if I was thinking properly. And so she knows that I've acknowledged that acknowledgement is a huge part of healing. But, you know, that's just a terrible thing. And people do that all the time. That's so prevalent in the business. But you're also not allowed to talk about anything until it's a victory. So you can't go to your friends on the team and be like, hey, can you pray for me or, you know, think about me because, you know, so and so is in the hospital or whatever. You can't say that stuff until it's a victory. You can't even talk to your cross-line friends about it. You're only supposed to take the negative upline. It's such a cult because why, why wouldn't you want to reach out to your friends? Why wouldn't you want their support if you're going through something? But you can't even talk to them about it. My sponsor was great, but there were things that I wish I could have talked to another friend about too. And it's like, it makes you feel like you're alone when you can't do that. Another priority that for me got warped in all of this was the idea that I had to wait until I hit Diamond in order to chase my actual dreams. Diamond is that level where they promote it so heavily. It's having six platinum legs. And that's actually when you're making a lot of money in the tools business. Now I've learned from someone I know who, who knows, just leave it at that. That Diamond will walk away from a weekend conference making about 40 grand, about 40,000 dollars. They promoted the idea so heavily that you need to wait until Diamond to have kids. You need to wait until Diamond to chase any outside dream. dreams and a lot of different things that you have to wait until Diamond to do. But they know that most people aren't going to get there. In fact, it's like one tenth of one percent who actually gets to that level, that platinum level and above. That's the one percent. So, if that just gives you an idea of how few people actually get to Diamond, how few people are wanting to manipulate enough to actually get there. Now not everybody who gets to that level is a manipulator. In fact, I know someone who was at that level who has left the business and they're not a manipulative person. And my own upline Diamond, even though she decided to unfriend me, no explanation, I still don't think of her as a manipulator. I just think that she's weak and can't handle any conflict. So instead of actually saying something to me, she just unfriended me. But a few weeks ago, I did message her. I sent her a text because I still have her number. And I told her some interesting things. I'm going to put that on my Instagram. So in that text, I said, "Hey, insert name. This is Megan Lannahan. I'm just texting to let you know a couple things. I've been thinking about you guys. I miss you. My heart for you and for the people I love has not changed. I left the business for many moral reasons, but it does not mean I feel any differently about you and her husband. You're still in my heart. I know in the business we're trained to snip people from our lives who don't agree with the business. Once I began thinking critically about it all, I knew I was no longer in the right place. I'm sure you've seen by now that the LTTD tools compensation plan is devious and misleading. From what I understand, it's all up to Larry who makes what money. He's even said that you make more "if your wife is hot." How fair is it that 80% of the income the bigger pins make from the tools and not the actual and we business model? They don't tell you that going in. It's fraudulent, which is part of the reason they became free for the first year IBOs. You may think I'm being negative, but I can assure you that I feel so much happier having looked at the facts objectively and seeing what's best for me. Just an update. I met a guy who used to be on another team. We're getting married in a certain time frame. I wish you guys the best. I have a podcast called MLM Recovery Room focused on helping people who are looking to leave, have already left or have been affected by an MLM. If you ever want to talk, I have discretion. I know it's tough to leave when you're at a higher pin. I have a support system that can help if you guys ever choose to leave. I sent that text on January 15th and I'm recording this on March 3rd and I haven't heard anything. I don't expect to hear anything either because this person is not good with conflict. I doubt I'll ever hear anything, but I kind of want to text her husband and say the same thing just to see what would happen, see if anything happens. It's just wild to me how the duality of it all, because on one hand, you're like, we're in it for life. We're going to be best friends and we love you. On the other hand, once you leave and actually talk about your experience, not saying any names, not mentioning, oh, so and so was so mean, or this person is such a narcissist, not even saying any of those things, but then you speak out just about your experience and then they're like, oh, well, we don't know you. It's insane. It's it's hypocrisy. But the way that it warps your priorities is really so confusing and disheartening because you're just like, what should I be fighting for here? Because the older you get while you're in the business and you haven't yet started to actually chase your dreams, the more you wonder, am I even going to ever? Is it ever going to happen? I've always had a dream of being an author. I love writing. And when I got out, I needed a way to be able to kind of take a shortcut. So I did something that helped me to be able to get my name on a book. I had some ideas for coloring books and I created some coloring books. My first one came out four months after I left the business. I worked really hard on it too. Then after that first one, I published another one a few months after that and then a few months after that. About a year after I left, I published my coloring book that you probably see on my Instagram, called your job as a scam and other things MLM monsters say. And I'm so proud of that one too. But I really wanted to see my name on a book that I created that was mine. And so I created those coloring books. And it was just really a way for me to be able to accomplish something quickly and kind of make up for that last time, but also to remind myself like, okay, I do have what it takes to do anything I want to do. And that goes for you too. Anybody listening, I want to encourage you. It's not the end. It's only the end if you want it to be. And basically that's if you give up on yourself. And I just hope that nobody does. It's really tough. It's so very tough coming out from under all of this stuff and then trying to live your life again. But that's why myself and all the other anti-MLM community folks, that's why we're here. We all have different stories and opinions and backgrounds and everything. But the thing that we agree on is that this is a fraudulent thing that's taking advantage of so many people. And despite what people in MLMs think, I used to think this that anybody who talks about MLMs or who is an anti-MLM or they're just negative, they lost their dream, they don't want to contribute to their own future. They just want to complain. I used to think that's what it was. But now I know these are survivors who are like enough is enough. I'm going to share my story and I'm going to help other people. And so that's really, that's my goal with this. There's so much more that I could say about all this. But I will leave everybody with a quote that I found. There's a judge that I found on Instagram, Anthony Bompione. And he said a narcissist's favorite role, the innocent victim of the mess they created. Like taking control of your future and healing, you're not letting yourself be the victim anymore. And so you're officially stepping out of the mess that somebody else put on you. And if you brought it on yourself, we all did. It was just be honest. But you're stepping out of that mess. You're actually doing something about it. And you have something to be so very proud of because how many people are still stuck in that because they're so afraid of losing the attention, the admiration and the approval of their upline. Not us, not here, baby. And another thing that I saw on Instagram tonight that really stuck with me, this is the thing I'm going to leave you with. It was a post that said, no one is cheering louder for me than the girl I used to be. Dang it, you know what? That's so true because the the Megan who was stuck in the business, stuck in Amway wondering if this is what it's always going to be like. Am I ever going to actually accomplish anything? Now she is crying. She's so happy. She has one in life because she's like enough is enough. I'm done. I'm not taking this anymore. I'm not taking any more of this abuse. I'm going to win and I'm going to go help other people win as well. So thank you all for listening. I hope you got something out of this. If you want to connect, please find me on Instagram, MLM Recovery Room podcast. If you don't have Instagram. Feel free to send me an email if you want. It's MLM Recovery Room podcast at gmail.com. Thank you all for listening and welcome to the MLM Recovery Room. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)