Ep. 34: Nurse Visits Heaven: She Sees Her Future & Returns with Hope (NDE of Janice Vinyard)

coming up on not the end NDE. so I'm like as drifting as though like in a boat in a canal that gradually widens widens the further out you go the more it widens and what was incredible was the automatic awareness that comes with this past present future you're aware of all things I did see the future and it was as it is pertinent to me my kids my life so I seen that something was bad was going to be happening to my son and I seen this and somehow I just knew that I had to go further out to see more because the further out you go the more awareness you have the more you see I did get a live review I remember that I felt like a being was like present with me possibly showing me this but they weren't actively talking it was just an automatic awareness and I was shown my life review but it wasn't punitive it was pretty objective I grew up religious my in church and I was introduced to the concept of hell way to way to young and I had a mind for that and I just fixed a film that I wanted to save everybody from it I didn't want to go there and so I had a lot of hang-ups about death not a popular topic big phobia of mine and I just have that you know that comfort from my own near-death experience and the sheer death experience that you know it's it's gonna be okay it's gonna be okay for us and it's gonna be okay for our loved ones many have died in return to tell of their near-death experiences their incredible stories revealed to the living that this is not the end hi my name is Janice and I'm a pediatric nurse here in Pensacola Florida and today I wanted to speak with you about my experience with death I've had a near-death experience and a sheer death experience I don't like selfies I don't like videos I'm pretty painfully bashful but what I have to say is important enough that I do want to share it with you so my near-death experience I was going to have this has been about 12 to 14 years ago I was scheduled to have gallbladder surgery very routine surgery didn't have a lot of fear going into it well to understand things you might need to know that in 2007 I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer our kids at the time were nine seven and almost one he wanted to protect their innocence so he didn't want them to die that you know daddy wouldn't be coming home even though we were very aware so it was up to me to tell them that daddy was with the angels and he had passed and that was the hardest things I've ever done a hospice worker came to help me my telomere and I was a special visitor I really built it up in a way that they told me later that I did it wrong there's no right way it would be no right way to do it but I told them and my nine-year-old she just started crying and screaming however my seven-year-old my oldest son Sam he curled up in a fetal position and acted like he was sleeping so later I asked him why did he do that why did he act like he was sleeping and he said well Mama if I'm sleeping I can be dreaming and if I'm dreaming I can wake up so it was something that was very traumatic to them some of they probably didn't process probably wasn't for years and was well it was devastating to them and Sam and it was having a hard time and at this point he had reached middle school I don't know if a girl a little girlfriend broken up with him you know he was just mad at the world and I asked him to clean his room and for a parent you know you know they're hurting but whenever they say mean painful things to you it just goes right into your heart and he told me nobody likes you they just feel sorry for you and I wish that daddy wouldn't have died but you would have we'd be a lot better off and the only good thing that came from daddy dying was he can't see what a screw-up you are and then he said I hope you dying surgery so those are just exact words and it might I tried not to let him see me cry but the tears rolled up in my eyes and it was heavy on my heart even to the next day when I had surgery so I woke up I don't know if the anesthesia had detentuated what I was already filling but I was just sobbing and my nurse was asking me what was wrong and I told her what my son had said and we both agreed that I didn't want any family back there post-op I just wanted to rest and something that she didn't she didn't tell me this later it would come out but she bought the delauded up just ever so slightly to promote sleep she was a good compassionate nurse she didn't mean any harm at all but my blood pressure runs low anyway and I it was too much for me so she was back there and the post-op room and I told her you know this doesn't this just feels funny even though I'm laying down I feel like my head is falling to my feet she said that's just the medicine working so I trusted that and then she left the room and then you didn't take me any time at all that I had just flatlined I had died my heart had stopped and I don't know there was nobody there to witness it so this brings me to my near-death experience so I'm like as drifting as though like in a boat in a canal that gradually widens the further out you go the more it widens and what was incredible was the automatic awareness that comes with this past present future you're aware of all things and it's very peaceful it's dark but it's not ominous it's it was very peaceful so it's been a long time ago and I'm not gonna say anything that didn't happen but there will be some things I don't include because I don't remember them I know a lot of people that have in the ease they'll remember some but then some is just not ready in their recollection so there was this beautiful body of water beautiful till-colored there were pink and red roses or flowers all on the shore I'm more used to being a Pensacola beaches white sand beautiful watercolor but this was different and that there was no shore just beautiful flowers all around it and when I recounted my near-death experience usually I don't even include this because I don't understand the significance I wasn't there very long this like I was in a building look it out open windows and and that's all this it's not so beautiful and I thought it was heaven but a remarkable all the same and you know it tie into being me being at ease being you know not scared of anything and I did get a life review or remember that I felt like a being was like present with me possibly showing me this but they weren't actively talking it was just an automatic awareness and I was shown my life review but it wasn't punitive it was pretty objective I think maybe when you do have your life review there may be some things you wish you could have done or done differently but me logically speaking but in the near-death experience I didn't feel I don't know much about regret or like I didn't mean anything wrong or that didn't even great it just there wasn't a lot of emotion attached to it it was just just was and then I I did see the future and it was as it is pertinent to me my kids my life so I seen that something was bad was going to be happening to my son and I seen this and somehow I just knew that I had to go further out to see more because the further out you go the more awareness you have the more you see so I got caught up in this this frenzy need this was the most emotion that I felt in the whole thing was this this urgency to to go beyond and to see more so that I could offset but it won't anything happen into my kids you know you don't you don't Anything bad to happen to them, you want to safeguard them. at the same time they had discovered that I was dead so the team rushed in to resuscitate me and they were calling my name Janice Janice with an insistency and that aggravated me that aggravated me because I was very much into what was happening and they were drawing me back and I didn't want to be trolling back I wanted to see more but my attempts at traveling further into that being futile because they kept calling me back they resuscitated me my my heart started again and first thing I said was I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry because I knew I had deliberately tried to just ignore them and continue on with the process so it's very weird to go from that then like that I'm back and there's all these people and then they left the room and the pulmonology associates it became like a medic I'm a nurse so I know it was medical error and they were trying to save their own butt but it was very wrong what happened there was nobody present but those two doctors each stood on this in my bed and not supportive at all in fact there were a very accusatory like trying to almost imply that I caused my own coding my own death which no that didn't happen one would say one thing a certain way and all that would say the same thing just worded it a little differently and they were just just like interrogating as though I was in a courtroom like why didn't you tell us you had sleep Batman well I didn't know I had sleep Batman yeah I don't know if I was like Batman and I tell them that and then they said like what are you hiding you know like I can't even make this up it's just like not but you maybe a naive I wouldn't expect the doctors to come at me like that when I've been through so much and in a very horrible spot and they said something about my asthma I said well I I had gotten a chest x-ray because of that and they had insisted on it before the surgery so there was that and later I would find out that that chest x-ray they lost it so that was a lot done to just not support my needs or what had happened to me but just on the hospital end of cover this up the nurse was a good nurse she was a compassionate nurse I hope she didn't get fired but yeah she had bumped out the delight just a little bit to help me in it it had it off me and they even wanted to discharge me that same day and my mom was like she died don't you think you know we should be a you could observe her overnight and she insisted on that and so they did they didn't tell my family what room I was in I had a relative that worked there that intervened when it told them what had happened and what room I was in so that they could come very strange very strange this is not very disappointing that it occurred like that and that that is a reality I think it's very important to have a witness in the room I learned that in nursing I knew better everyone should always have a witness if they can be in the room you want to think that a hospital is actually in your best interest but if something goes a little wrong you know you you want your you got to watch your back and have your support as well now I did not know anybody that had a near-death experience I didn't know how to classify this in my brain just that it had occurred so I was seeking out trying to find other people that had that it may be sure something similar and on Facebook I found a group that was just that and I got a lot of support and in fact something that had occurred when my husband passed I remarked on that because even more so than my own near-death experience and I know how I felt this was even more remarkable what had occurred when my husband had passed and I was first introduced to the term shared death experience and I looked it up and I was like okay that finally pieces together what happened and I'd like to share that with you as well so my husband was 32 he had been in the hospital before like for three months and nobody nobody had diagnosed him a pancreatic cancer in fact they didn't do the one ER the one diagnostic that would catch it in this early stage which is an ERCP which if you have any kind of pancreatic symptoms I would recommend that everybody make sure that that you get that you get a diagnostic and that you can because it's something if you catch early it can be saved but it's there's not a lot of treatment it's it's a horrible thing to enter pancreatic cancer so of course you know we were upset but one particular day I came into his room I was living there with him we were told he had four weeks to be here to live he lasted five weeks but he said he know he knew me for it a backward he was like what's the matter Janice and I said well you're just you're gonna go up there to heaven you're gonna be around all of those angels and you're just gonna forget all about me and I was in tears and he was like oh no no I would never ever forget you you're right here and when it's your time and only when it's your time you didn't you know you wouldn't you know it maybe probably not to do anything on my own but that we would have a date in heaven and I said well if there's any way possible could you show me or let me know what happens on the other side he was a God-fearing man and he was like he had just when he was sick he'd really gotten close to God and found his piece and he was like well I don't really know how that works kind of thing to the logistic you don't promise anything and then God not allow it or something and he was like but but if I can I will and then I asked him to send Dragonflies to remind us that he loved us and he kept his sense of humor to the very end he was just wanting all of us to laugh and be happy and you were like well that would be cheaper than a text message from heaven so in 2007 actually cell phone and stick in the text message was pretty expensive so it was funny but so I was left with okay so if there's a way he could show me he will I made all the medical decisions and it was not easy I the doctor was just using his his own expertise or what he felt was right I feel like he was trying to hasten his death because it was inevitable outcome and he was suffering but the nurse has got really emotionally attached to him caring for him and they would grab me to the side and tears sobbing and tell me you got to tell the doctor this or that and I did I mean I'd been the nurse in school but I didn't I didn't know anything and especially in my emotional state and everything it was nice to have them Aaron Aaron having our bags one thing with the TPN it was just shutting down his kidneys and his kidneys did shut down they a nurse told me what was happening and I immediately had the doctor do the order to stop the TPN but you know it just wasn't quick enough it so he was a weightlifter the cancer just took him he has mine though he would go daily in shower and I would see the fluid as it rose and and I knew it was coming I remember just grabbing him and just hugging and crying there was nothing I could do I wanted to save him he was a DNR and I just wanted to just grab his bed and just running out of that hospital I don't you know you just it's you love somebody it's just human in you you want to do something you want to save them but it was a very helpless feeling so the night that the fluid rose to right here it was gonna enter his chest cavity ultimately taking over his lungs and causing him to drown his own fluid so that was the night that this happened I had a cot that was right by his bed where I slept and my bottom half would be on the cot but my upper half would be right up to him and holding his hand and this particular night I was holding his hand but the fluid rose to his chest and he was really having to fight for air so he had to drop my hand and then he would lift his hands and just drop them he was drowning and I cannot put into words the feeling of just having to witness that just giving kisses and telling that I was gonna be there for the kids and everything was gonna be okay and that I had it, you know? So, there was this force. I can only describe it as a force, or like a electricity that just like grounded me to the bed. Like I couldn't move. It was kind of scary at first. Like, you know, even though it was hard to breathe. I heard maybe something. I don't know. But then all of a sudden, there was just this love that saturated the room. On a scale, you cannot imagine a usually cognition proceeds emotion. This was just emotion. And it was this overpowerful and of love, like a being that was just love. And, you know, there are little things about us that we don't even like to think about. But we might think makes us unlovable. Or well, would they still love us if they knew? Or, you know, any insecurity, any doubt, or how did me? I just knew that I was transparent to this love, this being. And that being loved me anyway. And on a scale like, you couldn't function day to day if you felt love on that scale. It was just enormous. And it brought me at a time when I should have just been devastating crying. It brought peace, like a relief. I started to cry. I wasn't, I mean, the tears just came, being in the presence of so much love. And what I took from that was, hey, you know, so maybe I did get to see what was on the other side. And I take a lot of comfort in knowing that arms outstretched love was on the other side for him. And I've always been taught that God is love. So I believe that he's okay. And they gave me a lot of peace. And my mother was the first person I told. I was just so amazed. I wanted to tell everybody, you know, that Joe was okay. You know, I think that he's okay and what had happened. But my mom, you know, she's my mom. And she just kind of looked to the side when I told her. And she said, oh, Janice, you've been under a lot of stress. So that shut me off about that. I was like, okay, well, this sounds crazy. But I know what happened. And I was grateful to find that near death experience group on Facebook that didn't make me feel so silly. You know, that actually validated, you know, what had happened in my near death experience and my shared death experience. And it still gives me a lot of great comfort. I know that one day I'll see him again. And I hope that love is just still right there with me the way it was there for him and that I got to glimpse and see. So that's been my experience. And now I'll say that I grew up religious, my in church. And I was introduced to the concept of hell way too, way too young. And I had a mind for that and I just fixed a film that I wanted to save everybody from it. I didn't want to go there. And so I had a lot of hangups about death, not a popular topic, big phobia of mine. And I just have that, you know, that comfort from my own near death experience and the shared death experience. That, you know, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay for us and it's going to be okay for our loved ones. And in doing a video like this, you want to think of, well, what do I want you the listener to take from it? Well, I hope if you have kids, you love them and you make memories and like all the things Joe didn't get to do, I got to do. And you hopefully get to do. And if you have somebody that's passing or facing a bleak diagnostic, like what we in Calibre and Jo, I hope you find peace and it will be easy. But I, I hope my words brought you some kind of comfort. And as unique to you as a person listening, I just hope you get what you need from what I had to say. And I'm very humbled and grateful to have had that experience. And my kids, you know, just like I promised my husband, they all made it to adulthood. I'm very close to the son that told me he wished that I'd die in surgery. He apologizes. He wishes he could get the words back. But I know he was just young and he was lashing out at the person he felt the safest with, which was me. But, you know, I'm really proud of my kids. And especially him, he's helping me do this video. So anyways, I wish you all the best. Thank you for, again, for letting me share my story. How is this story meaningful to you? If you're watching on YouTube, tell us in the comments. If you're listening to the podcast, leave a review and tell us there. If you or someone you know have a similar kind of story, please also leave that in the comments or send us a message at our website. Maybe we'll feature you. Visit nottheendindie.com. Be blessed and a blessing, my friends.