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Ep 319: INTO THE MIST: Live From Niagara Falls, Ontario

90m 38s

Ep 319:  INTO THE MIST: Live From Niagara Falls, Ontario

This iHeartRadio podcast is a wildly comedic, satirical, and irreverent exploration of Canadian culture, personal identity, and absurd humor. Hosts Lexi Iwano and Lisa DiGiulio, representing two generations and vastly different life experiences, launch a new show titled *Don't Lie to Me*, emphasizing honesty and open dialogue. The show blends personal storytelling with surreal humor, centering on the fictional "hashtag in the mist" concept—where anything goes, including public displays of affection, jet-ski stunts, and sexual encounters. It features exaggerated references to Canadian quirks like the Rough Riders high school name change, Seth Rogen’s grocery store ads, and the strange use of "hoser" as slang. The hosts parody other podcasts, products like load boosters, and social norms, using absurdity to critique reality. The tone is fast-paced, playful, and filled with inside jokes, pop culture nods (e.g., DMX, Tom Jones), and fictional scenarios. Through satire and humor, the podcast celebrates Canadian charm, independence, and the freedom to be unapologetically themselves—even if that means breaking every rule in the mist. The show ultimately serves as a lighthearted, chaotic, and deeply relatable portrayal of friendship, identity, and cultural absurdity.

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14133 Words, 72288 Characters

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This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwano. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast, the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week, I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scammed him. What? I could talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening. You're listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Scam Goddess. There are thousands of podcasts that can tell you how to better yourself. Get Worse with Kyle Pru is not one of those podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptides, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making your better, getting closure, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. If you're interested in blackmail, love bombing, cloning yourself, or getting revenge, then we've got a little something-something for a dastardly individual like you. Listen to Get Worse with Kyle Pru on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom-line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important. I was elite class. I had the gold poncho on. I had this chick eating my ass. Hashtag in the mist. I like to tongue kiss my daughter. You'd be surprised at how many Standing Cart World 69s there were in the mist. Buckle up. Oh, my God. This is awesome. The energy. I will say. The big sips might be a little better. Okay. Okay. A little better than a buzz ball. Nice, Adam. But still tastes like shit. Okay. Yeah. Still isn't good tasting. Not saying much. And we, uh. That was our first time throwing out load boost. Yeah. Yeah. Did anybody catch one in their mouth? Uh. You dare me to take one right now? Yeah, take a floor load boost. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. 40 goat weed. I'm going to be gushing like Niagara, baby. Yeah. Woo! Very juicy by the end of the show. That's a lot of cum. Uh, we're not, uh. They don't pay us to throw out these products. No. Just so I feel like people are like, "Oh, they must make a lot of extra money from. " Fuck it! ". throwing out big sips and load boosts." No, we do that for the love of the game. We do. Yeah. And what is the game? We love giving people what they know. What they want. Yeah. and what they need in their lives. And what they don't know they want. Yes. Like load boost, which you're going to like. Yeah. Supposedly, if you. Yeah. I don't know if you've heard one of the 10,000 commercials on our podcast, but supposedly it makes your. It boosts your load. That shit's important. And, like, there's a flavor component to it? Yeah. Uh-huh. I just. Should I have chewed it? Maybe I should have chewed it to try it. I think you should break open that pill and snort it. Okay. Okay. If you want to get. All right. if you want to get truly boosted. There's a first time for everything. What's really cool is Isaac had to smuggle all this stuff in his suitcase across the border, so. Yes. Can you imagine getting pulled over and then being like, "You want to explain this, sir?" And then the cop is like, "Can I have it?" Why? You don't have to, Blake. He's doing it. That was a. You don't have to do that. His tears are just super sticky tomorrow morning. By the way, this isn't natural. Blake isn't like a cokehead or anything, so this is. And what camera is Netflix? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah. I didn't like that even a little bit. This is going to be like when you got COVID when we did the show. We did the tour a few years ago, and we did a show in Chicago, and Blake got COVID but didn't know he had COVID. Yeah. So, I'm like, "I'm going to get him." I'm like, "I'm going to get him." I'm like, "I'm going to get him." I truly believe in my heart that I could jet ski. Hang on. Let him finish. I truly believe in my heart. If you pick the right spot, you've got to pick the right spot. But if you pick the right spot and you hit it just right, you bail. You could clear the rocks and you're good as gold. So you wouldn't stick the landing. You'd bail. Well, you're not going to land on a jet ski. That's how you break your spine. Oh, yeah. No, that's crazy. You're right. Go ahead. Yeah. You're not landing on a jet ski. You're not landing on the jet ski. You bail mid-air. Right. You bail mid-air. And whilst you're in the air, the jet ski goes this way. You go this way. Sploosh. Then the tour boat sees what you just did. Everyone freaks the fuck out. Right. You're a goddamn legend. They pick you up. They put you in one of those ponchos. Yeah. And then they give you like $100,000 to spend at the casino because they're like, this guy's a god. Right. He's a living legend. They're like a French-Quebec accent. They're like, air tube bumper. That was really good. Please don't stop the music. Please don't. So you would do the jet ski jump like during operational hours. You wouldn't like make Red Bull sponsor it, shut down the falls. You're going to have a little tour boat. No, I want people to be like, this is relaxing. Holy shit. Right. What the fuck? And I'm wearing some like sick wraparound sunglasses. And I also am wearing a cape. And the cape is split down the middle. Okay. And on one side, it's an American flag. And on the other side, it's a Canadian flag. Ooh. See what I'm doing? Okay. And that is a peace bridge. Unlike what some presidents do. Boo. Bro. I still call it Lake Ontario. I'm not afraid to say it. which by the way i i feel like there's only like out of the what like 800 800 million americans there's only like 11 that call it lake america yeah that's there's only like and i wish and three of them are in my family but and the other eight are in the white house yeah that's cool thanksgiving's cool it's just cool that yeah how come how come why are you sweating you're so wet so bad is it the load boost i don't know i've never taken load boost to the face it is it is fucking with me even shoulders your shoulders are wet you're like very damn dog and i'm also really not wearing clothes so no yeah you're very it's everything is very breathable freaking see i don't know man i hate you know recently you you know i was cleansing that was my first big sips in a while who knows so this podcast hasn't come out yet so we did a podcast and it hasn't come out where blake talked about he's on a fucking cleanse water trash i i'm not on this trip the wheels are off that is such a southern california thing you come you come to canada and talk about a fucking cleanse dude this should have stopped you at the goddamn border i'm sweating for you guys what the fuck right i wanted to look good in this stupid fucking barrel outfit fair enough fair enough but please give me some validation i needed this thank you i feel like your jetski stunt is a canadian cleanse okay like that's what they do here they're like shit's just not going right i'll be right back i'm gonna go do a cleanse isn't the still gonna send it bro from canada am i tripping maybe not is he still gonna send it yeah yeah oh that guy fucking rips dude dude most canadians are pretty hardcore they fucking rock they go for it hey buffalo's cool too all right yeah yeah i will say there was a there was a guy that was working the toll booth when you come through and it wasn't working to like let us go through and he had the most new york accent i've ever heard he was like oh look at this fucking gate it's not it's not working let me fix it hey and i'm like i thought we were in canada okie dokie and it's crazy that like just like 20 miles north people here have canadian accents but this guy was holding on to his new york accent so fucking aggressively dude oh when you're in when you're in ontario you gotta try the pizza man what what what dude dude the load boost is fucking to your brain i'm so i'm so trying to be where you are right now what do you mean we're saying he was very new york what new york people talk about pizza but then you did an italian accent yeah you did an italian accent that's not a new york accent new york is basically italy dude this is this is back to when you said i didn't know new york did it like this and by the way still doesn't we went to new york we went to the uh happy gilmore two premiere because kyle directed it thank you god he used to he used to sit here um but now he's directing huge movies and possibly eating babies we're not sure exactly we're not sure too we're not he could be drinking the blood of babies we're not sure what he's doing because he's not here but we were in new york and blake and like it was a fun party and blake the whole time just kept being like man i didn't know new york did it like this and we're like yeah it's one of the largest cities in the world right they do it like this and i say where's the pepperoni pizza okay that's better yeah yeah that was a little better until you said uh still italian dude you know i do the best impressions dude oh that's right you do i have been working on my let's hear it because you gotta hear this by the way this trump has been he was president for four years right took some time off where you could have perfected this impression right you waited till his second time being the president uh-huh term term they call it a lot of people call it some people call it times other people call it terms it's a term it's some semantics yeah uh and so now you've really dialed it in and i'm pretty excited i've dialed it in i'm working on it but so so okay let's paint the scenario so he's just renamed in his own mind lake ontario how would that's deniro yeah you're doing stop stop stop i i i'm renaming the renaming the lake okay i'm renaming the lake lake america he was doing this in the car on the way here and i was like i don't know i know what you're doing hey yes points yeah yeah yeah sure yeah yes it's uh it's it's gonna be huge that's what he says he says that is what yeah that yeah well an impression isn't just saying the words that they say yeah motherfucker when you do impressions all you do is say their name yeah is this trump i'm i'm you doing an impression of trump that's pretty good that's pretty good does like me donald trump oh a spicy meatball that's you're gonna be like does lake america have nipples greg jerse come on man break them off bro break them off a trump impression i'm gonna come give me a sentence to say and then i'll do my trump impression uh okay um what a beautiful experience it is what a beautiful experience it is pretty good pretty good he's the impressionist of our crew he's the impressionist of the crew oh that was good the end was good take whatever you did at the end apply it to the whole thing i like to tongue kiss my daughter it's getting better yeah it's getting better that was really good that was really spot on i used to go to lake america before it was lake ontario he's heating up the water was so cold i'm not gonna do i saw bumper to go off the waterfall with this jet ski yeah that's cool but the president was there i thought he was gonna stick the landing wow he i didn't like how half of the cape was a canada flag i didn't like that i like a cape but i did like the other half we gotta keep him in office this is fun yeah yeah yeah it's worth it it'll be worth it it'll be worth it oh man that is so fucking stupid i tried to explain to the waitress uh last night we ate at the the steakhouse here 21 yes we did 21 and over the good steakhouse it's here it seems when you walk up the stairs like you're walking into a brothel yep because it's just like red stairs and it's like behind they're like go past the noodle bar and then and it's just like people working in the noodle bar and then you just kind of walk past them don't make eye contact then you walk up these red stairs and they're like what the fuck am i about to get into yeah and the woman goes do you want me to tenderize your meat and i was like it yeah it felt like we were walking into blade three it was like whoa there's about to see be some vampires up in this bitch jessica beals yeah i was thinking more of like a cool brothel but you were thinking like vampires and shit dude what do you think vampires do yeah they fuck yeah that's true vampires be fucking dude they are the most fucking ass monsters dude if you if that is true of all the monsters more than i actually think you're spot on with this i'll tell you right now actual monsters like bad people sure sure yeah but like mummies are not fucking nope with that dry ass dick dry ass pussy get the fuck out of here break right the fuck off that mummy pussy i'm waiting for a mummy to come down these stairs and be like you know brendan fraser is redoing uh the mummy he's doing the mummy again is it a porno unfortunately it isn't i wish more movies were pornos and i think this crowd agrees um yeah half the internet it's now not enough yeah yeah i agree well that's cool well frankenstein might fuck a lot i don't think frankenstein will fuck he's too dumb he's too dumb to fuck he doesn't know too dumb that's what dumb people do they fuck the shit out of each other wow who did you just become first i became richard prior that's what dumb people do yeah i'm working on my impressions tonight yeah thank you guys if you have a request let me know yeah that's actually not a bad idea yeah does anybody have a request i would love i would love the macho man oh yeah yeah brother the cream rises to the top that's good that one's not bad yeah macho man is pretty i feel like my father whenever i do an impression on my dad they'd go your dad is macho man randy savage jelly dough and dennis devine because i mean hit him hit him with something oh yeah i just dropped it here you go kumbaya yeah kumbaya that's macho man randy savage right there adam if your dad was a pro wrestler i feel like it would explain so much about you yeah you yeah i guess he is a family disappointment but he uh but he just worked for the railroad for 35 years and raised his fucking family instead of being a pro wrestler can i fucking talk to you real quick can i talk to you okay i'll talk to you real quick yeah so can i fucking talk to you real quick what man i'm just making jokes i'm bitten out here i i don't know if the bit is that they're going to keep talking offside stage so let's listen okay that's not going through a hard time with my family and then you got to bring bring it up that my father isn't macho man randy savage honestly dude i fucking i snorted who's from buffalo load boost and it's going to my fucking head i don't know what's happening i'm tripping out there i'm tripping actually we're standing weirdly close and we're backstage so we don't need to and i can feel that the load boost is working yes also like a quarter of the crowd can see what we're doing and uh that that's cool all right we should probably get back out there because yours is taking a shit i think hey let's just run back out there and act like nothing happened and you're sweating so much okay break okay all right hey we're back hey we're back oh you guys give it up for adam's dad he works on the railroad and it's fucking cool he did work on the railroad yeah it's really cool yeah yeah not wrestler cool but it isn't wrestler cool i just was saying you carry yourself like a son of a pro wrestler that's all i was saying son of a wrestler yeah do we need to go backstage i loved it i loved it uh yeah so i'm basically nick hogan yeah no you need to start djing is nick hogan not just nick from backstreet boys oh my god they do look like fucking identical guy or is that just people named nick i think i think to you all like blonde people with blue eyes sort of look alike to me sure yeah you heard it here first by the way there's like a fucking wasp up here and it's not me what the hell ontario picture this you're the owner of a plumbing company descending into an 18 inch crawl space to hydrojet a sewer line don't ask oh boy this is tight i knew i shouldn't have that extra helping of mashed potatoes last night now let's say your phone rings uh-oh it could be a lead on a very big job i better get that or it could just be a spam call oh but thanks to ruby's call screening and seamless integration with the crm system you already use by the time you come up for a call you're going to be able to get a call from a your next job will already be waiting oh this is ruby the 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often because it's pretty sick i was i've been pretty pumped about the false view um this woman says no but Somebody help me Oh no they got a six Yeah it seems kind of cool Tom Jones Yeah he's coming Is he Canadian Oh he's not well then fuck him No he By the way I think we've had a great turnout This is an awesome turnout We want to thank you guys for showing out This is badass Are you kidding me But Tom Jones Who is I want to say 111 Sold this place out Yeah For him it's not unusual Oh Yes points Who cares I talked to Isaac about it I'm like yeah Tom Jones sold this place out And he goes no dude no fuck no Tom Jones is dead he's been dead for a long time Damn And I'm like I don't think Tom Jones is dead Or else his ghost Is sold out The OLG stage Tom Jones ghost is the only monster That fucks more than a vampire That ghost be fucking Dude that's true I bet my That would be a hall pass for my mom Tom Jones Dude I feel like if you're a 68 year old woman Tom Jones gets you riled I know I know my mom's hall pass She actually had like three Whoa Wait had three she's checked them off Yeah It was Hulk Hogan Macho man Randy Savage It's weird I Your mom is a black widow She fucks these guys and their hearts explode Dr. Phil I just ran into MacGyver Who would have known Backward from behind Who is Is MacGyver her hall pass Richard Dean Anderson He's one of them Yeah he's one He's already got the last name and everything Yeah You sure He might be my dad MacGyver MacGyver might be my dad That's a sick dad dude There's no way Based on your lifestyle There's no way MacGyver's your dad I don't know man He's got the cool mullet I feel like you guys look enough alike Right Yeah but I wish we could put a huge picture of MacGyver on the back screen I just feel like if we gave Blake a book of matches He'd hurt himself Yeah He'd be like Yeah If we gave him a book of matches He couldn't start a fire Yeah He'd be like Fuck it these aren't working Yeah This doesn't make sense It doesn't make any sense I think they're wet I think they must be wet There's a lot of mist in the atmosphere here Because That does make sense Because you're sweating over the matchbox Yo I don't know if you guys have been on the boat But we went today We did We got out on the water Yep And We're on the water It isn't a big deal So like I don't It's science I'm not even I don't even know why I'm saying it Because it's not a big deal But we were wearing gold puns Ponchos Yeah Do you guys know about this? There's a tier system Pretty elite And pretty exclusive Let's just say we spend 14 extra dollars Yeah If you have an extra 14 extra dollars to burn Get the gold poncho Yeah It's pretty elite They really make a show of it too They have everybody wait in line You walk past everybody You walk past And people were literally going Look at these assholes Yeah And let's just say the gold ponchos When they're folded up They look gold And when you open them It just looks like your skin is melting They're like Oh look at these guys From Sarasota With their skin melting They must be loaded Yeah we looked like Remember something about Mary The old woman Who was just so tan Yeah That she looked like human melanoma Yeah That looked like us today Yeah I was pretty proud of that It was really I don't know why they Like why they single you out with that As soon as they brought out The different colors The colored poncho I'm like oh god Oh yeah This isn't good I didn't like it They kept calling me sire And I was like Yeah I go ma'am That's awesome We were Durs is like That is what I should be called I started shaking people's hands like this Good day I will be visiting the falls today Yes So I don't I don't know much Is Is Britain affiliated with Canada at all? Oh my god Yeah I don't know Are you familiar with the commonwealth? You know I came up here And I'm having a great time I don't know anything about it The commonwealth I'm a dumbass Right everybody? I feel like Explain what a commonwealth is Wait yeah When Durs says the commonwealth That means listen closely Yeah yeah So they take the wealth And they commonly distribute it Yeah it's common You're a stupid dumbass Yeah That makes sense You know So does Does The queen's dead? Is she like Tom Jones? Or is she alive? And we think she's dead The queen died yeah okay all right r.i.p yeah right uh respect but did she she roll through was she ever at the olg stage fucking chopping it up i feel like she would crush it oh dude if the queen was here right now what if she's like i'm here we spotlight her and she's just like yep that would be so sick and if i know the queen like i think i do because i watch part of the crown because my wife was watching it um she'd get she'd get us she'd uh fucking get a kick out of our barrel costumes and yeah you'd be like oh i'm i'm pissed off i didn't get any load boost no no no she caught one in her mouth she she caught it like this she's just up there and just fucking with her crown then she goes yeah just just snagged one out of the air like this i don't know about you guys but i could i could really go for another you oh yeah i think i could too let's get a beer out here isaac let's go and i'm just trying to say hi and if and if you don't come out out here like i think you should come out here then i'm so disappointed i'm drunk now i was intoxicated i want you guys to know we've made isaac a disappointment to his family this is the way his family is pretty bummed that we pierced his ear um yeah make him show his nipples quite often i don't like you guys telling me to show my tits yeah but you but you guys love it so we have to give the people what they want there he is there he is tell me to show my tits all right look at this canadian moose wow thank you sir isaac what why what are you doing wow isaac horn everybody hold on hey hold on my load is boosted my load is boosted buddy just because you're wearing a moose out it doesn't mean you don't have to show your tits bro hey you better strip down and come back out and show your tits isaac if you don't show your tits i'm getting you're fired no sir i don't like it come out here show your tits so this is on netflix yes oh that's true and we're getting fucking massive numbers you guys they're saying we're the new war machine uh do you guys we're the military bobby brown of podcasts yes absolutely millie vanille bobby brown absolutely do you guys see moose those are here like well they're not monthly or like three times a year no they're not seeing moose they're not seeing i just heard a woman go yes she knows because i well it's like it's it's somewhere else it's much it's like squirrels they're in trees bullshit fucking idiot bullshit bullshit that's wrong you know what goodbye okay so they're like squirrels i guess i'll take your word for it i would love to see a moose in the wild dude oh they're big they're big as fuck i don't think i've never seen one in the wild i would love to see one in the wild uh because you know we have like a bear on the california flag but we're not seeing bears all the time no we're seeing bears so infrequently that it pisses me the fuck off yeah i we see a lot of gay bears that's yeah cool you go to west hollywood you see a lot of gay bears but yeah absolutely that's a little different but i feel like you walk around canada you might see a couple mooses if you know i'm saying it's science this motherfucker has some antlers is that what they call uh big big gay men in in canada i would yeah i would i would moose absolutely look at this moose oh come on i mean okay i'm sorry this is did you just say imagine come come imagine this come imagine if a horse's cock is a horse cock big imagine how big moose cocking don't but you know what that's hey dude come imagine that come imagine this with me you gotta come imagine it there's the title of the episode come imagine it feels like a a mr rogers show but for like porno right it's like right now it's story time come imagine this with me like this is the tale of the moose it's a beautiful day it's a beautiful day inside my pants give me some dome wouldn't it be nice he's just got the little hand puppets out and they just fuck each other right yeah the fucking trolley yeah yeah it goes right in someone's asshole hang on we might be going we might be going down a road i'm not wearing pants we're talking about mr rogers yeah neighborhood did you guys know mr rogers neighborhood here in canada yeah was that okay okay he's international okay good mr mr rogers crosses borders have you guys tried to show your kids mr rogers does that do you i feel like that's like really good i feel like that's really scary like we were watching some scary shit do you remember that oh dude we watched the fucking most terrifying shit in the remember zoobly zoo did you watch that yeah you guys was that canadian it might have been zoobly zoo canadian it was just basically a bunch of of guys with really bad costumes being like i'm a tiger and you're like i don't know i i'm gonna i'm gonna push back on that okay and that's what you guys paid for there's pushback i i don't think the costumes are bad i think they were actually too good oh because i was like is this woman a real bird is it real does the dude who had the cheetah face yeah that was disturbingly real and do we think maybe you were a dumb kid you know what i mean it's possible maybe it's possible i know what i saw yeah i know what i saw the beaver man i don't i don't really remember uh zoobly zoo for a minute i did dabble in uh bananas in pajamas do you remember that shit okay i don't i don't know bananas in pajamas was sick bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs bananas in pajamas are coming everywhere they're coming everywhere i i don't remember the second version story unlocked but it was just kind of like uh sports mascot bananas in striped pajamas oh and they had like really thick australian accents and they're like what do you want to do today banana one what what network was this on um i just think i had a vhs tape that i watched over and over right that you like stole from a dentist office yeah yeah give me that shit well i think i liked it i think i know what channel was workaholics on in canada craves 44 no but like what was it what was the network called jesus it sounds like we were on 10 000 different channels and i don't think that that's right and this guy said 44 my god we're old back when you used to know the actual numbers of channels dude i said dude i said something in front of some gen z kids the other day i was like what channel is that on and they go you're so fucking old right channel right tiktok this bro tiktok this old ass bitch do you i mean i remember having a clicker for one of the tvs in the house that didn't have that didn't have the numbers on it and so you had to be like let's go from 11 to 27 you'd be like i'm still gonna say at my grandparents house they didn't have a clicker you had to walk up to the television and go yeah yeah was the tv on the ground it was on the ground yeah that was just to give your grandpa enough time to just smack you in the back of the head and be like don't change that shit right he's like i'm watching my stories by the way shout out to children's uh programming you can't do that on television oh yeah oh yeah canadian banger oh yeah that's dope i mean canada has a ton of like that's was basically like a sketch comedy show with kids right yeah canada has sick ass sketch comedy dude a lot of people i mean i think it's it would be a fair argument to say that canada produces some of the greatest comedians of all time they'll say this is the way you said you said i told you dude you said some yeah i would say per capita most oh we're talking per capita okay yeah okay that's fair that's which is a quebecois phrase is it yeah that's french yeah i don't know look at that moose oh by the way this girl came up and started talking to us in uh sort of french yeah threw me i didn't know i didn't know i thought she was from scotland yeah we had no clue what was happening it sounded beautiful that was embarrassing we're like what now what is that accent are you are you from scotland she's like i'm from montreal right yeah and we're like no totally totally totally totally then she started on the falls yeah and was like this is nothing you have to go to south america and we're like Like, we're here, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not going to go to South America to say that these falls suck. Because these falls are awesome, but jet-skiable. That's all I'm saying. Very jet-skiable. I will say, when we were in that thick, thick, thick mist, it felt like you could do anything. Yeah. You could jump off that other boat. And, Blake, I just need to be. I need to get ahead of this. You can't. Right. You can't do anything. What's the legality? I'm all about legalities. Yeah. Lawyer talk. So, are you getting arrested the second you put a jet-ski in the water up top? Are they coming for you? Are the. It depends. If you do it in Buffalo, you're good. Right. They don't care if you. You ride that motherfucker the whole way. I just. I have concerns. Blake is like, yeah, they should put, like, a strip club on the boat. And, by the way, in the mist, anything goes. I'm like, what kind of case are you building here? Live on Netflix. Dude, there's no laws in the mist. Hashtag in the mist. Remember how every sign was telling us to hashtag it in the mist? I'm like, this is weirdly sexual. Right. Right. There's too many kids here to be telling us to hashtag in the mist. Got my dick sucked in the mist. In the mist. Yeah, sure. What'd you do in Niagara Falls? Uh, nothing. Everything's legal in the mist. Yeah, I was elite class. Hashtag in the mist. Oh, my God. You dog. Yeah, if you got the gold poncho on, they just let it fly. Yeah, absolutely. They were like, well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, gold. Yeah, the sweet Indian family next to us was a little thrown by that, but. Right. But we looked at them and said, in the mist. No, it was crazy. As soon as we all got in the mist, we, like, started triple kissing. I don't know. Like, I don't think that happened. The mist turned into, like, big hands that were pushing our heads together. What the hell? It's like. Wait. It's what Blake kept pitching. He's like, anything can happen in the mist. In the mist. Blake, get off your knees and please just look at the balls. Guys, we get three-way kiss in the mist. Guys, I don't know what's happening right now. I feel like I could suck both your dicks at the same time. Okay, all right. Blake, your legs are behind your head. That's impressive. Get off the floor. Don't worry about it. It's hashtag in the mist. In the mist. No one will know. Blake, Blake, you're really good, and that feels good, but please stop. Please stop. I have a mud in my trousers. I'm throat-fucking you, but guys, give us ten minutes. We're in the mist. We've never had it so good. Okay. I don't doubt it. It gets crazy in the mist. I'm just saying, if any of you bros have a bro that you really have feelings about, and you want to get it off your chest, do it hashtag in the mist. By the way, we know you're closeted, Blake, but. I feel like I just said it on Netflix. That's out of the closet at that point. It doesn't need to be a gay thing. You could just take a woman friend of yours that you love, and then if something were to happen in the mist, that would be fine there, too, you know? That's true, but. Yeah, standing cartwheel 69? Yeah. It's slippery, though. Yeah, you'd be surprised at how many standing cartwheel 69s there were in the mist. Yeah, and we'll never know. Adam, I feel like you're judging the mist. Like, anything can happen in the mist. I'm not. All I'm saying is, you went pretty moose-heavy. Right. Right. In a gay way? Yeah. I'm saying it doesn't need to be. It doesn't, but if you. You are going to go moose-heavy. Yes. And you do it in the mist. Yeah. It doesn't count. Oh, really? I'm going to go. I'm going to leave. It was nice to see you guys. I just don't know what's happening. You are so dumb. Molson! Niagara Falls is. Yeah, Molson. Yeah. Niagara Falls is a cool place, because they have so many fucking sick chain restaurants. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dude! Undisputed champion. You guys have a rainforest cafe! Yeah. One of the last ones remaining. There's literally more rainforests on Earth than there are rainforest cafes. Yes. And I think there's only, like, half a rainforest left. Yeah. Yeah. That's. You need to protect that thing with your life. Put fucking Mounties out there, dude. Yeah. Save that shit. And by the. Oh, dude. Speaking of, remember the fucking, like, very nice, pleasant. police officer that was, like, a cross guard that was allowing us to cross the street earlier? Yes. Dude, that was the most Canadian shit I've ever seen. Yeah? He, like, was enjoying his day and was just like, hey, right this way. Yeah. Come on through. It's safe to pass now. Yeah. That doesn't happen in America. No. Adam was a victim of the stop and frisk movement. Yeah. Dude, in America, the guy that is working the crosswalk immediately goes home and beats his kids. He fucking hates his life. He hates everything. This guy seems really happy to be doing this. I'm pissed now. I'm saying, Canada, I think, is sort of a better place to live. Yeah. I hate to say it. It's a no-brainer. Yeah. Being a receptionist is one of the hardest jobs out there. You have to be an expert for hundreds of people every day. And you have to do a million things at once. No wonder more small businesses are saving costs by outsourcing their front desk. But replacing them with an AI answering service? That's one giant step in the wrong direction. We're Ruby. And we believe in the lost art of the overachieving receptionist. We answer every call live. We schedule, take messages, call to confirm details, and so much more. Because only a human can connect. And instead of turning our back on AI, we customized our own. Automating tasks, pulling up relevant information instantly, and so much more. So we can spend all of our time making connections. Experience Ruby for yourself right now. Call 866-GET-RUBY or visit ruby.com. This is LeVar Arrington from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe. Running a small business means keeping track of a lot. But your finances shouldn't feel complicated. Let me tell you about Xero. That's X-E-R-O. Xero brings accounting, payments, payroll, and analytics together, giving you one clear view of your business. With easy-to-read dashboards, you can see your cash flow and understand exactly what's coming in and what's going out. Xero's AI can save you time and provide insights to help you make smarter decisions while keeping everything simple and accessible. It's powerful enough for an accountant, but simple enough for you. Xero is the all-in-one to get business done. Learn more at Xero.com. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. I'm Lexi Iwanu. And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references. Occasionally different opinions. I'm not going to get anywhere fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. And I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. I don't really care. I feel like I've been a lot of places in Canada now, and I actually truly love it. You've been the most places? I think so. Have you been the most places? Absolutely. I've been in Toronto. I've been to Montreal. I've been to Vancouver. Bro, I've got some cuddy ones. I've got Edmonton. I have Calgary. And I have Winnipeg. Those are some cuddy ones. I need to get out to Saskatchewan, though. I've got to get me some Rough Riders on, bro. That's their football team. I mean, dude, I love. Their football team is named the Rough Riders. That's so tight. Dude, that is super sick. We almost named our high school. My high school, we were the Indians for two years until, like, the Native American. I grew up in Nebraska, which is a state in America. And then the Native American that lived there, there was, like, one guy, and he comes, and he's like, no, fucking knock this shit off. And we're like, all right. And, well, no, that's how it happened. It was just, like, one guy came up and is, like, Toyota Corolla, and he was just like, hey, I'm Indian, this is fucked up. And we're like, oh, fuck, okay. That's why his middle name is Thunder. Yes, he's like Jeff Thunder Garcia. It was confusing. Wait, the quarterback of the 49ers? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so we changed it. And we got a vote on what to change it. And I really worked hard and I rallied the troops of my high school to name us the fucking Rough Riders. That's dope. Because imagine to come out to the DMX. Right, right. Stop. Drop. Shut them down. Open up shop. Dude, we. There's a Rough Riders. Oh, hit us with it. Hit us with it. So good. Okay. R.I.P. Okay. Stop. Drop. Shut them down. Open up shop. And by the way, what I love. I love that Adam's like, can you imagine coming out to that song? Yeah. For debate club? Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, you're two and ten Millard South Rough Riders. Actually, they're pretty good right now. They've once stayed last couple of years, but. Yeah, I don't doubt it. And just so and Rough Riders. But then they stopped. They stopped. The principal took me aside because we actually. Dropped. We actually voted. Shut it down. It's not the name. Shut it down. It's not the name. It's not the name. That's not the name. Why can't I stop talking like this? Oh. The principal started barking at me. I'm a vice principal. Hey. Bars. Bars. Damn. Yes, points. Thank you. Thank you. Nice. First points in a long time, and that felt really good. Nice, Adam. That would be really sick to have DMX as your principal. Oh, dude. Today is bring your dog to school today. Dude, I like that DMX is making the worst days of school. Bring your dog to school. And that shit is off leash. Yeah, right. There's just like 800 dogs in the hallways. It's just pit bull fights. They're like, turn it back to Indians. Turn it back to Indians. We have guest speaker Mike Vick in the house. No, there's a new dude. Some new ex football player just got busted for dog fighting. He didn't get the memo. Hmm. Damn. No, you can't do that. I hate the idea of dog fighting. That would be so sad to watch. You've never seen it, though, so what the fuck do you know? Yeah. Maybe it's sick. Mr. Like, oh, I don't know anything about it, so you just judge it. But then you like humans fighting. Whatever. You know what? I would watch it. Hashtag in the mist. Right. It could happen in the mist, but nowhere else. That makes a lot of sense. We keep finding dogs in the water. Yo, real quick. Every time Blake Anderson is in town. They just like puts on the gold poncho and always brings on two Rottweilers. Bro. Ooh. Ooh. You guys, not funny. Yeah, so the principal was like, Adam, I'm so ashamed of you because I really, I was banging the drum for Rough Riders and I rallied the troops. Which is an Indian thing. Go ahead. It was an Indian thing. Indian thing. Like, we got hundreds and hundreds of people to vote for the Rough Riders. I was very proud of it. I'm like, this is going to be fucking sick. This is my legacy. As opposed to this. Go ahead. Yeah, no, no, no. I wasn't planning any of this. I thought I was going to die immediately after naming the Rough Riders. I'm like, go out on top. And then you jet ski off a waterfall. Adam jet skied into the high school gymnasium. Senior Adam Devon. Fine. Jet skis off of Niagara Falls with a Rough Riders cape. Oh, that'd be sick. I would have been a legend. Now I'm just doing this shit. Wait, so yeah, so rap. But the principal was very ashamed of me because evidently it's a condom brand, Rough Riders. And she thought that I had named it the Rough Riders because I be fucking. Bro. Hey, egg on her face because I wasn't. Load boost on her face. I mean, what kind of, I love that your gas stack, your gas station condom buying ass principal. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. We can't have that. It's actually a really deep cut condom brand. Oh, how do you know? How does she understand this? No, no, it's the name of the very specific. By the way, it was a woman too. So she was like wild. No, actually it's a, it's a ribbed condom Rough Rider because it's rough. And like, by the way, Trojans, like what are we, what are we really? Yeah. Did you come back with like, well, there's Trojans. I did. That didn't persuade her. Did you say that? What about the Magnums? The Magnums? Yeah. And then I went with, what about banana flavored? Right. And she's like, I don't like. Wait, but here's my concern. What are, are, what are Rough Riders? Because if you went from Indians, are Rough Riders like people who just shot at Indians? Well, dude, guess what they named her. Guess what they named the, the school, we are the Patriots now. Oh, yeah, I didn't, they killed the Indians. That wasn't a great upgrade. That's probably, I'm sure Jeff Thunderfoot Garcia, the Indian that came through was pissed about it. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like, um, just to answer your question, maybe Rough Riders were dudes who like rode without a saddle. Yeah, I think, I think that's it. Yeah. By the way, that's it. Their dicks hurt so bad. Oh, that was like a flex. It was like, yo, I'm down to just gallop on my nuts for a hot minute. And is it because they were like. I can't, I can't have kids. I cannot. I don't even need a condom because these balls are not so. I mean, load boosting. And I still love this load. It's like Rough Riders, we ride bareback. Mm-hmm. Bruh. Which means no condom. All I'm saying, it would have been a sick name for a high school. I'm not, I don't. I think everyone agrees. Yeah. I agree. I think it was pretty cool. Poop dollar! I'm into it. Yeah. I vote for it. Anytime you can be DMX affiliated and in high school, I'm all for it. And is DMX Tom Jones? Did he Tom Jones? Is he? Yeah, he's dead. He's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He died. Okay. RIP DMX. Fuck. For real. I feel like the only way. The only way to level up our live podcasting game is to have a hologram DMX. That would be sick. Right here. That would be sick. In Kyle's stead. Yes. And then every once in a while, he goes, what these bitches want? Who? Who? We would not need a soundboard anymore. Yeah. That would be fucking sick. We would just send it over to DMX and he'd be like, come on! Right. Like, yeah. We're trying. Hey, D, we're trying. We're trying to come on. We're really trying. Can I get some hot Q's and A's over here? Oh, okay. You need another four inches. So we put out some things for you guys to write questions on. Well, we've got some answers for these questions. Yeah, we do have answers. You never had it so good. Kumbaya. Oh, yeah. Just go through it. Have fun. Oh, yeah. I'm a bitch. Do it live! I'm going to cum. Do not cum. Legalize comedy. And I'm feeling good. Yeah! There's the moose. Thank you. The moose is loose. You're not allowed to take that off tonight, Isaac. By the way, last night I asked for a light beer and the waitress asked why. Which I thought was a pretty Canadian cool thing. You hoser. I was like, can I get a light beer? And she goes, why? Right. That's real hosier. I was genuinely asking. I'm like, I don't know. She was like, are you using this to rinse something off? Did someone spill a full, a regular beer and now you're just trying to. Are you washing dishes? Yeah. You hoser? God damn. Are you a bitch is what she said? People, do people actually say hoser here? Is hoser real? If you don't, you need to bring it back. Hoser needs to come back. That's a fucking epic slam. That's a sick ass. Yeah. You know what's cool about Canada? You turn on the TV and one of the biggest movie stars in the world just does commercials for the grocery store. What? Yeah. Seth Rogen is on like, is it a grocery store? Is it a grocery store? Yeah. But like, what is it? You guys are just saying the name of it? Here. Hold on. Hold on. Here we go. Yeah. What does Seth Rogen, what is he promoting? Skip the dishes. Oh. And he just hates doing dishes and wants the world to know? It gets delivery for food for places that don't deliver. Uber Eats. Got it. It's Uber Eats. All right. So, but he's walking around a grocery store. And it's in Canadian English, so I'm watching it and I'm like, what is happening? I do not understand this. But that clears it up. I haven't seen that one yet. Look at it. Fucking Seth Rogen, one of our best. Shout out. Love the guy. We love Seth Rogen here, right? Yes, sir. Jim Carrey. Yeah, yeah. You know what's cool about Jim Carrey? You're going to start, and we're not going to even get the. There's so many. There's so many. Rick Moranis, Dan Aykroyd, Ryan Reynolds. I saw a movie commercial. Jay Baruchel's got some stuntman movies. Fucking Jay Baruchel. I love him. I got to meet him and be in a scene with him in Tiny Fugitives in theaters now. Oh, wow. Look at that. Jay, super cool dude. Said he was a fan of Workaholics. Oh, wow. Cool. Yeah, we love Jay Baruchel. You know, I've never met him. I'd love to meet him. He's a really cool dude. Did you used to do a Jay Baruchel impression? Yeah, I guess I kind of did. I feel like you did one in Chicago, maybe. Wow. What? I was blackout. I don't remember. I had COVID-19. Now, if you get COVID now, is it COVID-26 or is it still 19? I think that's how it works. Yeah. All right. Okay, you don't test for it. You can't get it. Six, seven. That's right. I've had COVID like 35 times in the last two years. COVID six, seven. COVID six, seven. Hey, Blake. Save it. Nah. A lot of the time, we'll be sitting around joking and we'll say, save it for the pod. Save that for off the pod. Oh, man. Yeah. I think that's a good way to convince the kids to get a booster. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, come on down and get COVID six, seven immunity. Hey, by the way, I think the kids have stopped saying that. No, dude. It's kind of coming back. It's big in the mist. Oh, mist. Yeah, we just looked out in the mist and there was just a fucking seven-year-old boy just going, six, seven. And fucking backpack kids like. Six, seven. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. There was just a kid floating. He was just flossing. And meanwhile, Blake was getting his ass eaten. He's the best. Wait a second. The mist is clearing and you're not going to believe what I'm looking at. All right. This is so dumb. All right. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out, man. We're having a great time. Yeah, we are. Thank you. We love you guys. We love Canada. We love being here. Thank you for having us. This is, we're having a great time. Thank you for the OLG. Thank you for being on the stage for having us. Absolutely. Tom Jones, not dead, selling this place out. Yeah. Guys, come out and see Tom. Yeah, see fucking Tom, dude. Imagine all the 68-year-olds just all juiced up, ready to see fucking Tommy boy in those jeans. If you find a mummy, show her some love. The scary thing about Tom Jones on this tour is that there's got to be like five women at every show who were like, remember? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you remember? You remember. You remember. No. You remember, right? I hope Tom Jones only fucks to DMX songs. Sure. I think you remember. You think you remember. You put that DMX record on and you just rough road me. Then he takes her back home in 2020. Yeah. He's 26 and he's slipping. He's falling. He can't get up. Nobody. Nobody gets that. Okay. You guys have some hot cues. We put out some questions. We have some answers. So, Dan and Megan say, where's Dan and Megan? There they are. There they are. All right. All of them are. All of them are. Yeah. There's about 12 of them over there. It's a team. The pod started with compliments, take backs, and apologies. What happened to the compliments? Oh, thank you. Yeah, what happened to the compliments? That's a nice. That's a nice Canadian question. What? Yeah. Yeah. We asked that same question. Someone asked the same question in Detroit, but then it said, what happened to the fuck offs? Right. So, that's a very Canadian question. Just across the water. A little different. It's very different down there. You know, I would like to give a compliment. I think Blake really brought it early in the podcast today. Thank you. Came out. Okay. He was really strong up to a point. Yeah. He really came out swinging. He was sweating for you guys a lot. I will say it has subsided. Some might call that flop sweat. Maybe. It also might have been the load boost. Load boost. Load niacin in there, maybe. We don't know. I don't know what's in that thing. But I would like to give you a compliment because you really came out on all cylinders. Thank you. Fucking firing, baby. Yeah. Any compliments coming? The strike center? I got to say, my man's guns are looking more like cannons these days. Okay. You know what I mean? I saw him in the gym today getting ready, getting primed. Right here. Thank you. Thank you, dog. Thank you. And I would love to compliment Ander's mustache. We know that. It's back. His wife doesn't love it, but he grew it for you, Canada. You get to see the mustache. This is a Canadian mustache. You get a mustache. You get a mustache. You get a mustache. Reach under your seats. There's a mustache. It's just my face. Although I will say, my mustache. It came back so quick, too. It starts in my nostril. Yeah. Can you see this? Yeah. I see it. I see it. You're like, I couldn't stop listening. I've seen it for two days. Yeah. It starts in the nose, comes down to the lips. It's not a mustache. It circles around my nipple. It's just nose hair. Out of all my friends, I can imagine you being ancient. The easiest. I can imagine when I close my eyes, I see the very 96-year-old man version of you. Naked grandma! I guess that's good. Yeah, it is. I feel like you guys look at me and you're like, oh, he's dead. He's still alive? Yeah. He died. He tried to jet ski off a waterfall into the mist and he never came back. No, he had a heart attack. He had a heart attack before he got there. We'll speak at your funeral. Sorry. I can't wait to speak. I can't wait. Here's a compliment. Cannot wait to speak at your funeral. I'm sure it's going to be beautiful. Wait. Please play Rough Riders Anthem. Do you want that? If you play Rough Riders Anthem, it's going to be, hey, play it, Blake. Play it. Okay. You want it from the beginning? Play it. Yeah. Yeah. That was it. Hey, was that worth it? The face you made afterwards, you were like, that was the joke. It was amazing. I liked it. That was for me. It wasn't worth it. That's why we can't do compliments. If you could bring back one thing from Canada back to the U.S. of A., what would it be? Signed by Toasty. Not my dignity. I mean, I have a bit of a deep cut for anybody from Winnipeg. They got these things called Fat Boys. It's a burger with chili sauce on it. I would bring that back to America. Hey, we have that. Tommy's hamburger. No, bro. It's a famous hamburger chain in L.A. I don't know how to explain this. You have to go to Winnipeg. Clearly. You have to get a Fat Boy. They are so fucking good. Hey, Blake. That was fucking stupid. Okay. It's a bagel. No, I would say the. I would like to bring the mist back with me so I can do whatever I want. Come hither. I feel just the Canadian attitude. Yeah. People here are kind and welcoming. Oh, my God. But also, if you get out of line, they'll fuck you up. Yeah. Also, they're not pushovers. Have you noticed, like, you get in an elevator, everybody's just very kind. They're very kind to each other. If you leave the elevator, they're like, have a great day. And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, fuck you. What? You have a great day, bitch. I have my headphones on. What'd you say, motherfucker? I'll have what I want. They're like, have a great day. You know, Blake, the known aggressive. Yeah. What the fuck did you say? Forget about it. Okay. So, my wife. I'm Italian. My wife's pregnant. I'll skip it. Go ahead. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, it's fine. Well, we're running a little long on time. I don't know time. And I wouldn't know. What would you like to bring back? I don't know. Let's go. Okay. My wife's pregnant with a boy. Great. Oh. All right. We got one. In the midst. Should we name him A, Kyle? Hey, where's the Netflix camera? Hold up. I don't think so. Freaking see ya. B, Anders. Okay. Let's just go away. It's hard. It's a hard thing to do. Yeah. I mean, you're doing your child a disservice by naming him Anders. Because their whole life, they'll be going, it's a hard on. Right. And every time they meet anybody, they go, oh, Anders. And you go. Yeah, it's just my name. Yeah. Yep. That. I remember when I first met you and you said Anders. I'm like, dickhead. But then I got used to it. Yeah. And I grew to love you. C, Adam. Basic. Biblical. Biblical. Thank you, bud. Yeah. Pretty basic, though. Um, D. Blake. okay okay another blake in the world i like that other blake there's a lot of them and it's kind of basic really i don't know i think blake is known and rare yeah right well it's because the blakes in the world they make a big splash they make a big splash is this great i was just gonna say huge blake ontario like is that a thing no lake ontario what's it depends on the last name change i could get behind right there blake ontario i guess i'm gonna start naming it blake ontario all right we got some work on or e miles and it seems like they want to go with miles yeah yeah i guess you could do that what's the next one no it's a great name great name being a receptionist is one of the most important things in life being a receptionist is one of the most important things in life one of the hardest jobs out there you have to be an expert for hundreds of people every day and you have to do a million things at once no wonder more small businesses are saving costs by outsourcing their front desk but replacing them with an ai answering service that's one giant step in the wrong direction we're ruby and we believe in the lost art of the overachieving schedule take messages call to confirm details and so much more because only a human can connect with another human and instead of turning our back on ai we customized our own automating tasks pulling up relevant information instantly and so much more so we can spend all of our time making connections experience ruby for yourself right now call 866 get ruby or visit ruby.com this is lavar errington from two pro and a cup of joe running a small business means keeping track of a lot but your finances shouldn't feel complicated let me tell you about zero that's x e r o zero brings accounting payments payroll and analytics together giving you one clear view of your business with easy to read dashboards you can see your cash flow and understand exactly what's coming in and what's going out zeros ai can save you time and provide insight to help you make smarter decisions while keeping everything simple and accessible it's powerful enough for an accountant but simple enough for you zero is the all-in-one to get business done learn more at zero.com lisa we should tell them about our new show oh my god lexi we have a new podcast it's called don't lie to me i'm lexi you want to we're two best friends 22 years apart but so close at heart and i'm lisa di giulio the old one which means we have wildly different references occasionally different opinions and at this point in my 50s i've lived it all i'm not gonna get anywhere fighting that is wild i learned that about you today now in my 30s being the founder of new shoes good taste is my business and i've always got something to say if men were just honest about this there would be so much more peace in the world we're gonna talk about dating relationships beauty getting older and a little wiser we're best friends but we don't always agree because you told us how accommodating you are obviously i would do what i think i could do to to fight the fight but there's only so much fight i can fight don't lie to me don't lie to me don't lie to me don't lie to me don't lie to me don't lie to me liar listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i don't really care okay so would you rather wrestle a beaver or a canadian goose goose by jess woody a goose for sure dude yeah what are they mean motherfuckers i've never had an interaction no no no no no no but they got such i would beat the fuck out of a canadian goose yeah you think dude i would fucking murder a canadian i would take it by his neck and go i'm living a nightmare i don't know i know you guys are like goose attack i think you're underestimating beavers yeah yeah they chew through trees if they get those things on your dick oh god timber oh god i'm saying absolutely yeah we got that yeah hey so amos amos has a question blake blake i saw you walking this afternoon should i have stopped you and said hi yeah why the hell not damn where was i was i getting a beaver tail was i going to ripley's believe it or not what did you go to ripley's oh yeah that that part of town is fucking cool the chain restaurant game we didn't talk about it enough the vinnie of the my cousin vinnie's restaurant hey pull up what a deep cut movie restaurant right my cousin vinnie's just because he's kind of italian you're like we need an italian restaurant yeah you're like whoa cool you have a biodome restaurant cool right son-in-law yeah oh weird it's just polyshore all polyshore vehicles pelican brief seafood and buffet wait a minute okay what what do they serve at encino man hey how often was the pool cleaned they wheeze the juice at the end go ahead go ahead go ahead how often was the pool cleaned at the house while the show was filmed um anna ridles right ridles goodbye she sure does okay not often enough yeah yeah that pool was fucking disgusting yeah right it created covet six seven and and you're asking like what if if we told you it wasn't clean that often or we told you it was cleaned a lot what i'm just curious as to like how they thought that was going to be good for the podcast and and that we picked it i feel like netflix just canceled us netflix heard this question and they go we're good yeah that shit's important it wasn't clean that much hey you guys are going into the mist oh yeah never to be seen again dudes fave memory from the cruise hey do we have any people that were on the cruise here yeah any cruise i love that we're thinking about maybe doing another one should we run it back dude it was so it was so fun dude it was so fun favorite memory from the cruise my favorite was uh and this is love nipple chain guy and wife oh nice i remember you for sure for sure my favorite was that girl who kept she would just walk around the ship with a strap-on dildo and she would at me she would like slip she would are you here no it's a bagel she would slip us notes and be like and the notes just said like hey can you slip this to blake i want to fuck him so i think she's there hello what's up girl yeah that's crazy if you're here what was your favorite uh meet me in the mist i feel like she was born she's born in the in the midst what's your memory favorite you know i i i really liked like there there was this room where i got the dj and ako and atiba my buddies they were supposed to dj with me but they were blackout they were falling into like drum sets what is their dj name again uh the blackouts yeah and uh yeah we were just playing fucking 90s fucking punk rock and i was crowd surfing it was just a great time it was so fun it was cool there was this one chick that just had like a lot of fun and she was like oh my god i'm gonna get a big floppy but nice tits and she just flopped them out and they were out the entire ship to the point that i had to call my wife immediately and i'm like you're gonna see me in some photos with these floppy tits and you're a monster i have to get ahead of this because these tits are out your boobs are huge um and i don't want to go on record and say that was my favorite memory right but it did come to mind derz so it wasn't the floppy tits i honestly don't know who you're talking about oh yeah me neither your boobs are huge it was derz it was it was me your boobs are huge um you know a few months before the cruise i went and saw tron aries uh for a kid's birthday party and i didn't love it okay but every time i went back to my room it was on okay and i was i watched like 20 minutes at a time like 30 times a day aries is like my shit now oh right we gotta watch back uh we did a live viewing of a few episodes oh yeah of workaholics we should do a live viewing of tron aries you know fucking trent resner but i think that was my favorite of of watching it with a crowd and doing a drunk commentary where we just kind of got drunk and watched the show yeah that was sick the cruise was awesome adam's like just anything to drink yeah yeah i'm just trying i'm an alcoholic talk about your first boner a concerned mom underlined mom a concerned mom we talked about this last night literally we were talking about this we we say when we're not talking on the podcast we're just talking together as friends we call that off pod yes so we were talking off pod uh about our first boners because my son now you get you get boners from birth you come out with just like a little hard penis right yeah yeah hopefully hopefully okay so my son is two years old and he'll like be in the bath and he's sort of floating in the bath and our bath mat has little holes in it and you just see him like here we go here we go yeah let's get this out there and you're like what are you doing buddy and then he'll stand up and his dick is rock hard and get him he's got some slack to it i'm pretty proud all right and he'll go he'll go look daddy it's big and i'm so proud i'm so proud you think so huh i love that i said it's a hey that's a good thing that's a good thing it's not small man yeah um that's cool i'm glad that's out there yeah you need another four inches i mean my kid's gonna be cool as shit what's up bo in the future talking about your little dick dog yeah okay oh that's netflix i thought there was a guy you were just like what's up bo what's up bo there's just a guy over there and he's going he's looking at me again my man's built like a moose looking at me and winking at me this isn't the mist dude although there is a nice haze in here there is uh so yeah we you you get boners from the jump yeah i don't recall my first i remember my first conscious one though i was at summer wait were you getting boners unconscious well i think we just talked about how that happened oh sure but like you don't know when you're one that you've got a boner okay or you do but you're not remembering it i remember being in some umbros at sports camp and being like that'll do it and then some kid was like yeah i get those two and i was like all right you want to go to the mister uh trying to run it back to the mist you want to go play uh freeze tag or something else finish him and we've been fucking ever since i love it yeah um i i still haven't got one i can't wait till i do so when you he's heard great things so you have two children some what happens there it's just like you just push there's two miracles he's like it's isn't it a miracle here comes the come buddy i think we did joke about doing an episode on workaholics where jillian got pregnant and said it was yours and you were so nice or maybe it was the movie i think it was a movie where you were so nice that you were just like yeah yeah it's it's mine yeah uh remember how we were gonna do a movie and they canceled it five weeks before we were god damn it fuck paramount plus bruh uh no sir i don't like it that fucking sucked yeah that was gonna be fun yeah well you know what there's a new regime at paramount plus so we're not saying fuck paramount plus anymore because we want them to then maybe revisit and maybe we can make a movie right yeah but at the same time at the same time the old paramount plus fuck them for sure and the new one seems like they're moving out of hollywood yeah so which canadian city is next to explore i don't know i feel like i would love you know what is a cool city montreal that's a cool city dude that would be sick i did the montreal comedy festival when i was 22 years old i was a new face at the montreal comedy festival uh just for laughs okay and i had a great time there okay let's go uh my vote is winnipeg of course i love it there but sorry what canadian city is the next to explore you want to go back yeah okay i'm down also vancouver's a cool city also toronto would be fucking sick toronto would be sick yeah what's like the nordic fucking oh like where's that lady from discovery channel there's one that's like super super north what is it like or whatever you know what i'm talking about it's offensive yeah yes yes yes yes that yes it's with the eye i think it's it's just like this i did a rod you gotta look it up go youtube it it's fucking cool i want to get north yeah northern canada i want to get so north that when we get there there's just guys just wearing like fur outfits and they go why are you here right right but they don't speak like english they just talking like clicks and clacks and shit sure okay that's what i want okay i want to go so north that they've never seen it's other humans adam's fully dressed jim carrey dumb and dumber style with like the fur boots it's just some bro who got lost a long time ago and his tongue is frozen he's like you want to smoke some weed this guy's crazy let's go back he's like no wait for me hey guys would you rather drink one liter of and i guess we do we know how much a liter is how much is a liter yeah that's like a like oh a two liter so half of that that's a lot of jizz so would you rather drink one liter of jizz and he says jizz ozempic i don't know the fuck does that mean we gotta filter these or every morning for a month kyle's nuts are an inch from your face an inch from your face yeah as opposed to just like fully pressed on an inch from my face i feel like i would rather wake up with kyle's notes kind of close to my face as opposed to drinking a liter of jizz yeah but then he wrote ozempic so you would lose weight no got him hey yeah i'll take that jizz leader into the mist and no one would ever know yeah hey guys are there any take backs any apologies any epic slams any compliments any compliments like we complimented the shit out of each other um you know i would like to take back that little line of float boost i did yeah you didn't because also right there's a lot of it there and i don't think you did that much i did enough evidently to just be dripping sweat but how much you sweated there wasn't a lot it could have been the big sips just doing its thing but he wasn't sweating he had a big sip yeah i drank a big sip as well and if anything it was a cold liquid we'll never know room temp we'll never know but even even then i can still like sort of taste and smell it in my nostrils so i would take that back and also i don't think you're allowed to like snort stuff for netflix which yeah they might have to blur that out he keeps pointing at somebody who's on their phone because he thinks that's the light of a camera and by the way we don't really know if there's a camera over there we're assuming the camera could be back here over here but i think you know what we're talking about i want to say i want to say sorry i'm almost positive i threw a uh what are they called load a pill no no no the not not big sips big sips i'm pretty sure i hit like mission control with a big sips at the beginning and uh gotcha that's life yeah we write the numbers i i would have liked to apologize for my uh accuracy it was a lot of like pointing to a person and then throwing it 11 people to the left right right and you bro just some girl who wasn't ready for it was yeah god that was good that noise did you know did you know that was gonna be good that hurt a lot jesus that hurt a lot ow yeah worth it how did wait how did you do that it was what the fuck is your head is your head fucking wood do you have a there's not there's not one spot on my head what the fuck what the fuck dude i think that dude i think that was another episode of this is important lisa tell them about our new show we have a new podcast it's called don't lie to me i'm lexi we're two best friends 22 years apart but so close at heart and i'm lisa di giulio the old one which means we have wildly different references occasionally different opinions and at this point in my 50s i've lived it all now in my 30s being the founder of new shoes good taste is my business listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i'm lacy mosley author actor stand-up comedian creator and host of scam goddess podcast the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery fraud and those who practice it each week i bring on an amazing guest oh i scammed them what i could talk to you for an hour you're a generational yapper like me that's why i had to make yapping a job and now you can catch full episodes of my show on youtube Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Get your podcast. If you're interested in blackmail, love bombing, cloning yourself, or getting revenge, then we've got a little something something for a dastardly individual like you. Guaranteed human.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. The podcast hosts introduce a new show called *Don't Lie to Me*, featuring two friends with vastly different life experiences and perspectives.
  2. A variety of comedic and satirical segments highlight themes of Canadian culture, absurdity, and humor, including fake rituals and exaggerated traditions.
  3. The hosts parody popular podcasts and products, such as *Get Worse with Kyle Pru* and load boosters, blending satire with exaggerated claims.
  4. A central theme revolves around the idea of "what happens in the mist," a playful, surreal concept symbolizing freedom, sexual expression, and unfiltered honesty.
  5. The show celebrates Canadian quirks, such as unique accents, local slang, and cultural references, like Rough Riders, Seth Rogen commercials, and dog-fighting debates.
  6. Hosts make frequent references to pop culture, including DMX, Tom Jones, and a fictional hologram DMX for live shows, adding a layer of absurd comedy.
  7. The conversation features a mix of personal anecdotes, inside jokes, and satirical commentary on dating, identity, and small-town life.
  8. The tone is irreverent, energetic, and deeply rooted in humor, blending real-life observations with fictional scenarios and internet memes.

Summary:

This iHeartRadio podcast is a wildly comedic, satirical, and irreverent exploration of Canadian culture, personal identity, and absurd humor. Hosts Lexi Iwano and Lisa DiGiulio, representing two generations and vastly different life experiences, launch a new show titled *Don't Lie to Me*, emphasizing honesty and open dialogue. The show blends personal storytelling with surreal humor, centering on the fictional "hashtag in the mist" concept—where anything goes, including public displays of affection, jet-ski stunts, and sexual encounters.

It features exaggerated references to Canadian quirks like the Rough Riders high school name change, Seth Rogen’s grocery store ads, and the strange use of "hoser" as slang. The hosts parody other podcasts, products like load boosters, and social norms, using absurdity to critique reality. , DMX, Tom Jones), and fictional scenarios.

Through satire and humor, the podcast celebrates Canadian charm, independence, and the freedom to be unapologetically themselves—even if that means breaking every rule in the mist. The show ultimately serves as a lighthearted, chaotic, and deeply relatable portrayal of friendship, identity, and cultural absurdity.

FAQs

The new podcast is called 'Don't Lie to Me'.

The podcast explores true crime comedy, focusing on robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

You can listen to 'Scam Goddess' on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or other podcast platforms.

The podcast focuses on the most critical, bottom-line events happening on Earth.

It symbolizes a space where anything goes, especially in terms of taboo or personal expressions, like intimacy or secrecy.

It humorously showcases the product's use and effects, while also highlighting a fun, exaggerated lifestyle experience.

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