Ep 317: Stop Us If This Is Too Funny

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwanyu, we're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa de Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my food days, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest. Ooh, I scam them. What? I could talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Scam Goddess! Hi, this is Kylie Breakman, Angel Jaretana, Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the artist on artist on artist on artist podcast. The improvised character comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. You can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artist on artist on artist every Thursday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio. The show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important, I've got a big fucking boner! Garbage cans need to be fluorescent, they shouldn't be black. They're very hard to see at night when you're on a bike and you have margaritas and you're also texting. My face went numb, and that's when I know I was hooked, baby. I'm in lumps. Let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. And boom goes the dynamite. I got a big fucking boner right now. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Was that an old folder or was that brand spakin' new? Hit me with that again. I want to be on you. Yeah, dude, got one for the class. You understood how Adam Sandler became such a giant star. Yeah, that'll do it. You know, comedy juice. That'll do it. Fucking, that what a absolute heat rush. They're all gonna laugh at you, that whole sketch. Did you guys know that was like a reference from the movie Carrie? From the movie Carrie about the girl who. And here we are. Oh, oh, sure, they're all gonna laugh at you. No, the mom. The mom is like, you're all gonna laugh at you about prom or whatever. 'Cause then I saw that and I started rolling when I was watching Carrie. Lock in, there's your lock in today. For some reason, but yeah, yeah. Lock TF in. I don't think I've ever seen Carrie. Really? Well, it's almost Halloween season upon us. You can start shipping away at some of these classic horror films. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I wish I liked it more. Horror? Like horror. Like Halloween? No, just getting, just on purpose being scared. I know people love it, dude. Yeah, I don't love it. It's just like a lifestyle and you gotta wonder what's up there. Yeah, horror freaks around. Yeah. Yeah. When people are too into it, you get concerned with their. They saw, like, Grandpa naked at two young of an age or something. Something inappropriate. And they go, your boobs are cute. That's actually a great point. They saw some skin drooping. And that stayed with them. And now they just want to get that feeling back again. Well, you know, maybe it's also getting, like, control over that terror. Where they're like, I'm going to terrorize myself by having a play on this. This movie here, I'm going to buy that ticket to this film at this theater. I'm not going to have Grandpa's butt cheeks scaring me away, everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be watching Werewolves instead. Well, but like a movie like Carrie or like the classic, you know, Halloween films. They're not, they're actually not that scary. Now they're just kind of like cool movie. No, no, no, no. No, Carrie's not scary. If you're 12 years old and you watch Halloween, you're freaking out. Halloween's like just like an oddly paced movie. Like not much happens. But you're using his context for all ever, every other movie. But if you're 10 or 12 or 11, you're like, what the fuck? And you've only seen like frozen 35 times. Yeah. Right. But like it's oddly paced. I have either of you. You guys all, you guys both have 12 year olds, 13, 12, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you haunted them yet? Have you, have you ruined their childhoods by showing them? Yeah. It's not really the dad's job. It's, that's an uncle's job. I'm willing. If, if you guys want me to babysit. Okay. Come over here and throw in your name in the hat. I couldn't terrorize them by showing them one of these scary movies. I won't watch it with them. I'll say it's too scary for me. But I unfortunately cannot watch Harry with you tonight. It's too frightening for me. It's too scary for me, the adult. Have at it. And you know they gobble that up. Jaws is a coming of age like movie in our house. I'm like, okay, we're gonna watch Jaws now. Wow. Emma threw on Jurassic Park for our four year old the other night. Ooh. Holy moly for the four year old. I was like, how'd that go? She was like, what? He liked it. And I go, scary movie. Real, real scary the velociraptors. Oh my God, the velociraptors are fucking scary. They're like, he loved it. He loved it. So we got one. We got it. We got a psycho on your head. I had a bad time with Jurassic Park. I saw that in the theater. We were, what? I was in like fifth grade. Bro, I had to cover my eyes the whole movie. I was like crying in the theater. No long bitch made, bro. Oh, it's a scary movie. It's intense. Yeah, but I was the same. Like an hour of the same age. I also saw it in the theater. And it was really embarrassing. I was in Long Beach visiting like my aunt and uncle. They are like, let's go to Jurassic Park. I'm like, yeah. So what happened is your parents didn't want you. And you were feeling a little on edge under like, go stay with the aunt and uncle. Yes. I was a runner of heavy. You were feeling some other kind of nerves. That wasn't Jurassic Park too. Okay. That was just your childhood. Separation anxiety. Yeah. That's what that was. Self-worth. Self-worth. Mm-hmm. Just let us sit there. Well, because I remember all the kids at school talking about Jurassic Park. They're like, this is the fucking coolest movie. Yeah. And they definitely said fucking. They're like, does the fucking coolest movie? Is this pre your post wheelchair for you, though? Yeah. When were we walking? I think it was pre. I think it was pre. I gotta go. Sorry, boy. Well, everybody at school is like, yeah. And you know, you don't want to lie and say you did. Because then they're going to like grill you on it. Yeah. Or just don't be a liar. Yeah. Well, yeah. Sometimes you can lie. Why would you lie about seeing a movie if you hadn't seen it? Because this. Because then immediately they're going to say what about this part? Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. And then when you're like, oh, dude, yeah. And then he has a gun. Yeah. You fucking idiot. Dude, that's the oldest trick in the book when you give false information. I got caught up so bad. What? Recently. I was like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I saw that. Um, no, sir, I don't like it. The Mike Tyson Evander holy field fight. Oh, I was like, dad, I'm going to sleep over my buddies. We're going to rent the fight instead of just like through a huge party. And like, he didn't have pay per viewer whatever the fuck it was. So like the next morning I call my dad and be like, ah, I'm going to be home or whatever. And he goes, you can stop for some food. And I'm like, maybe he's like, maybe you'll get a ear sandwich. And I was like, oh, key, docky. What? And he goes, your sandwich, you know, from the, from the fight. And I was like, yeah, oh, and you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we're like, what is going on? Then my brother calls pages, my homie. And he goes, I know you didn't watch the fucking fight. I call him back 911 911 911. And he goes fucking Mike Tyson, bitty van der Holyfields era, FYI. And I was like, dude, that's your sandwich. I love doors telling like a kind of an adult tale from the before times. Yeah. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah. Because you were just old enough to be doing adult stuff. So I mount my steed home. Yeah. Oh, I better hop in the carriage. Well, no, you just had a little more runway. A little bit of adulthood and partying and things pre being able to just easily figure things out via the internet. This is why I call myself Gen X. Yeah. Because the way I, the way I operated in high school and college was fundamentally different than how you guys did. Yeah. We didn't know where we were or like where each other were. Yes. I constantly would be like location. Where am I? - Yeah, okay, you still are like that. I was always like, where the fuck am I? - This is the way. - And I'd be like, this is good shit guys. - Well, I will say, I think we're do it. We're, our generations did it a lot different. There was a lot more alcoholism. Child, child alcoholism. - Smoke weed everyday. - Because the amount of, we were just my assistant Michelle, we were at our other house and we had a giant binder of like old photos. And we were, she was looking through all these old photos. - She was like, what is this thing? - What is this thing? - It's a chlorant toothpaste. - Call the binder. - So this is physical media? - I guess, I guess we can call that. - We just call them pictures. - I thought it was just like workout videos. - But it was all these, she's like, oh my God, is this from you from college? And it was just, I used to take so many photos of us partying in high school. - Oh yeah. - It's just crazy. - And it was just, yeah. - Incriminating evidence just across the board. - Oh yeah, what were you building there, pal? Just in case? - Yeah. - We used to videotape ourselves, getting so black out drunk and just barfing everywhere. There's just hours of footage of children just throwing up from drinking straight vodka. - Yeah. - Gold sliders. - And she was like, oh, I didn't, she's like, I didn't party like that in high school. I don't think anyone really party like this in high school. Because it was just like mountains of beer in the background and just like 80 kids in a basement just cross side, just like playing with the gun. - And that's sad, dude. - Yeah. - 'Cause some of my fondest sort of fussy memories were from those exact times. - Yeah. - And we do the moment. - And we do think that it is because everyone's being filmed all the time, that they're like, I don't wanna be film drunk and hammered and have everyone on Monday see a video of me ex-wise. - Yeah, because it could just be like a story and then you, you know, you on Monday, they're like, oh yeah, I don't fucking ex-wise eat. And it's just a story. - And you gotta hear the story. - But then the actual footage, that's way more. - I'm drunk now. - But so what comes first, the insecurity or the potential for embarrassment? - This is important. - He's locked in. - Bro, you're locked in. - Dude. - Dude. - Dude, he's locked in. - You're like really locked in today, holy shit. I'm just saying because if you're like confident or like you don't give a fuck, you're kinda like, yeah man, that was me dude. I fucking barved or like, yep, I fell off those stairs, chip my tooth like, which is so hard to come by to be like, to like lean into embarrassment, right? - Yeah, I don't think it's an insecurity. I think it's that what happened. - What do you have to do this? - Sorry, let me lock in real quick. Stay locked in. - It's not the insecurity. It's that people just get called out for like, I think dancing is the best example of it. Like if you used to go to a party, dance your fucking asshole. - But all they do is dance on Instagram. - Around TikTok. - But that's really like they did multiple takes. They got it perfect. - Yeah, it's like if I filmed you like, at a party like, cut in the damn rug. Like, nobody's watching, you know? And then I film you and I'm like, look at this freaking zany white dude. - Idiot. - Yeah, just busting down. And then- - Did you just call me white guy? - Zany white dude. - Then you just, you go viral for all the wrong reasons 'cause people are laughing at you. And that's a moment dancing is a moment that you should not care or dance like nobody's watching. - And so do they put people who are fearlessly zany like on a pedestal? 'Cause it's like, wow, look at them go. Like they dance like nobody's watching and they don't give a fuck when. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, sure. I think you're building the perfect person, but yeah, I think most teenagers aren't that way and do get embarrassed. And especially when it's put online and just people across the world are making fun of you. And then your family starts to disassociate from you a little bit. - Your ray gun. - Your fucking ray gun. - Because you've put a stain on the family now. - Yeah. - They hate you. - And then you have to, they ship you off to your aunt and uncle's house and then you go see Jurassic Park and Fry. - Whoa, look at that. - You know, like a bitch, dude. - Fuck off. - And Adam, I wish I could have followed what you're saying. But you weren't doing this with your hands. - I'm sorry, but I don't like it in, brother. - I wasn't locked in, I'm sorry. - Yeah, yeah, but that's probably. - That's probably, uh. - It's probably true. - Yeah, it's, I don't know, man. But, and so. - Yeah, we grew up in the right time, I think, you know, for sure. - Like, truly strange that they're just like, not gonna drink, not gonna do drugs. - Well, except for the ones who do drugs and die instantly. They're like, I'm not gonna smoke weed or drink. I'm just gonna do cocaine, which has a pretty high risk of like fentanyl being in there. - It's a bagel. - It's a bagel. - Cool. - Lock it. - But you look hot. - You look hot. - Okay, but they're locked in. You look hot. - I guess if you're, if that is the drug, if you want to lock in, it's cocaine. - Yeah, that's the one, that's the lock in drug. - That's the most locked in drug on the market. - Yes. - You could probably get more maximization, I feel. I feel like they like to optimize. They like to optimize and really lock in. So I feel like cocaine would be the drug. - So our kids who are like under 10 going to lean out and go the entire different direction and go, we don't give a fuck. We're not rolling on each other. We can't, guys. Let's just all fuck up. - Yeah. - I think so. - If everyone's optimizing and then they're gonna see, it actually didn't work for my eldest brother or my uncle who's a fucking weirdo who's just always trying to optimize. - Right. - They're like, it's not worth it. - Right. - Yeah. I feel like the internet is just gonna ruin everything and everyone and we're all just gonna be walking around in the same, same clothes, saying the same words. - And stop me if this starts to get too funny. - It's hilarious right now, you're like, you're cracking my ass up. Stop me if you guys can't stop laughing. - The chucks and the gig. - Yeah, this is good, this is for good podcasts. - Yeah. - But Netflix viewership through off the charts, power outages. - Yeah, and you're gonna want to launch. - The fucking database of Netflix is just shut down 'cause too many people are viewing. - Guys, they got a hot take on the Mike Tyson and Vanderholy feel a fight over it. - Hey, you're a sandwich. - You guys, I've got a joke. - Okay, okay, okay, brace yourself. - Things always go in circles, right? - Yeah, yeah. - You're kind of whispering right now, is that to get us to lock in a little bit more? - I just said the joke, no one's laughing. (both laughing) - What's the joke? - What the joke? - What was the joke? - It's not, I'm just, I'm just maintaining, I'm just maintaining that right now I refuse to be funny. - Which guy, which by the way, for me guys? - It's hard for you, it is hard for me, I know you're joking, but I know that it's probably difficult for you. - I'm just like, I look at what a time to make this decision. - You know, when we're trying to shut down Netflix from our fucking viewership, dude. - Yeah, that's true, sorry guys. - Let's all take oaths of silence for this pod. - That's also good for podcasts, right? - We're just killing it today, so it's crazy. - Absolutely sinister. I'm not trying to point fingers, but step up. - Okay, I was being unfunny, Blake is saying, let's just not say anything at all, and you're just kind of here like actually telling jokes and not really, yeah. - Well, I was actually trying to, like, you know, I was just trying to get the best out of you guys, and that's what I'm always trying to do. - Oh yeah, I forgot. - Just drawing things and always. - You know me, the assist guy. And so I'm just, you're spiking up. - I'm just voling it back to you. - Hold on, another fucking epic spy. - Thank you, brother. - Straight man. - Straight man. - I got you. - Yes. - Do you remember what your first drink was? - Yes, and I've told this on the podcast, I actually was just, yeah, it was home, my buddy. - He's still chasing it. - Ryan Johnacus, grandfather's, homemade, Lithuanian liquor, and the bottle, the name on the outside of the bottle, it was called creamy head. - Hmm. - Say it. - Was the name of the alcohol. - Oh, he likes that. - I don't remember this story. If you say you said it before, - Yes. - I do not recall the creamy head story. - Creamy head. - And Adam, I love that you're stepping up, saying things you've said it before on the podcast again. - I am really cute. - What the fuck in killing it? - Dude, I'm willing to repeat. - I feel like we're 500 episodes in or something, 700? How many thousands of episodes have we done? - I don't remember this. - Yeah. - Home made Lithuanian, so is that like a potato-based? - Yeah, I wouldn't know the, how they did it. It was just like lithium ion battery, what do we do? - It was like, wait, it was like the bottle that was the deepest in his parents liquor cabinet, or he's like, they're not gonna miss this one. - They're not looking at it. - And they had all drank it the weekend before. - And they came back like, we got drunk and Ryan's basement. - Clear? - Yes, is it clear? Is it foggy? - It was creamy. - It was foggy. It was foggy. - Bro, bro. - Yeah, bro. - Yeah. - I know. - I know. - And we're like, what if it looks like coconut orbit? - This is the first alcoholic drink you had, and you said, I gotta do this to rest of my life. Like, this is my passion. - Dude, hey. - Don't knock it. - The story's not done, dude. So they they drank the weekend before. for, now they're like, okay, we're gonna get drunk again. This is what we're gonna do for the rest of our lives until we have to start maximizing in optimizations. - Sure, yep. - And then so-- - Face up that. - Yeah, more or less, more or less they said that. And so they handed me the bottle. They're like, you have to be the first one to drink it because we did it last weekend. I'm like, this feels like a set up, but okay. And so I'm like, what do I do? I just like sip on it and they're like, no, you were getting drunk. So you have to like, take some drinks. - I got it. - I got it. - I got it. - I was joking, totally. - No, I know what to do. - And so I just chugged it. - Damn. - I just like, I'm pretty good at chugging and I could just like-- - I'm drunk now. - If you're not smelling it, you don't know what you're drinking. So I just like, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, and they're everyone's like, no, no, no, no. - No. - We have to share it. - Immediately couldn't feel my face. My face went numb. - Damn. - And that's when I know I was hooked. - This baby, daddy's been loved. - I'm in love. - I'm in love. - I'm in love. - All my childhood trauma went out the window. - My face got numb. - My face went numb. - Oh. - Oh. (upbeat music) - Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. - Oh my God, Lexi. - We have a new podcast. - I'm Lexi Wanyu, we're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. - And I'm Lisa Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. - I'm not gonna get any of your fighting. - That is wild. I learned that about you today. - Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. And I've always got something to say. - If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. - We're gonna talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. - We're best friends, but we don't always agree. - Because you told us how accommodating you are. - Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. - Don't lie to me. - Don't lie to me. - Don't lie to me. - Lier. - Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't really care. - Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamor and Morris and Nicole Byer. - Ooh, I scammed them. - What? - I could talk to you for an hour. - You're a generational yapper, like me. - That's why I had to make yapping a job. - And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s. All the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy, and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Scam Goddess. - Hi, this is Kylie Breikman, Angel Jaretana. - Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald. - And we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast. - The improvised character comedy podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. - Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. - What I try to do is foe journal. I don't know, I think I sort of foe journaling. - Yeah, it's reading, it's called reading. - So you're, so we don't like to use that word anymore. - Okay. - You're gonna love New Yorker cartoonists. - Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? - No, I've been dying too. - I'm so sorry, I'm seeing a reading of Sadako in the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland Bookstore, 14. - That's crazy, I went to the Wonderland Bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Dark 30. - No way. - Patrick of the last bookstore though, Kim Katrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. - A panel of Eurovision participants. - And we do a little Halloween sometimes. - Does the pope dress up? - He winks on Halloween. - It's right up next to the microphone. - I hear you get the ovals here, the eyelashes hate each other. - You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on Halloween. - Listen to artists on artists on artists, on the IHIRD radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - I think my first legal drink, no, not illegal, illegal drink. My first alcoholic drink was-- - And then let's do legal. That's 100 million, okay. - Yeah, what is that? - I remember that too, swinging door bar in Orange County. - Okay. - Very cool. - All right. - Gay bar. - But my first beer was Bud Ice, by request. I wanted Bud Ice, so goddamn bad. - Bud Ice is gonna be like really cold. But it actually kinda just tastes like mold. - Yeah, it's not really. - Bud Ice is pretty bad, but it was stronger and you felt like back then it was, you had to get rid of this trash and you had to hide it. - We were always maximizing. So yeah, we were maximizing an optimization in-- - Just different, in a different way. - Just different, uh-huh. - In a different way. - Uh, because you had to get rid of this trash, right? So you were like, okay, six, we'll get a six pack of this and as you and a buddy will each have three of these, that's less to get away. - To throw away, you know, to hide from your parents. - Okay, and y'all were crunching numbers, huh? - Yeah, how were you hiding them, like putting them in like different receptacles or literally ride our bikes and then dump it in someone else's trash, like a block or two away. - It's like a dude who told his wife he's not drinking anymore. He's fine, a can's, a dumpster. - Oh, no, fuck is this. - Yeah, that just rolled off the tongue for you, Blake. - And you're drinking ice house? - That just rolled off the tongue pretty easily for you. - Blake, come out here. - Did raccoons get in the garbage again? 'Cause there are bottles everywhere. - What, this is your neighbor calling you over? Hey, Blake. Hey, can I talk to you real quick? It looks like the raccoons got in my-- - That's weird. - It's weird. - Huh, huh, yeah. - That's weird. - Several bottles of alcohol seem to be placed in my-- - Again, again, typical. - Yeah, some of them aren't open and there's a cooler in here. What's going on? - Maybe they put that cooler there when they were drunk. That's actually still a good cooler. I might just take that back over to my house and see if they come back for it. - There's a whole damn stash here. These coolers are pretty expensive. That is funny. If Blake is going to his next door neighbor's house to drink-- - On the side of that-- - And he doesn't say, 'cause he's just compiling Ring Camp footage. (laughing) - The hours of it? - Oh, dude. - Dude, the-- - I mean, that's the next great hidden camera show is just Ring Camp footage, right? - Oh god. - There has to be-- - I mean, that's their Instagram account, right? - Oh. - There has to be some great stuff. - They have like Halloween, send your Halloween videos. - Oh. - Well, the best is when it's someone getting like chased by a bear. - The best. (laughing) - You don't get to say what I'm saying? - I like the one where like the coyote was like, or what was it? He like a guy like has it, and it's like a cat or something like a bobcat maybe, and he's like shaking his arm, and then he's just fucking like throws it across. - His arm got tore off? - Well, it's on him. - Yeah. - But then he like throws it across the lawn. - Yeah, yeah. - And he's like, get it inside, get it inside. - Yeah, that was a real sick moment, for sure. I was a dad step in front. - I haven't seen the bear one though. That's pretty funny too. - I saw a pretty funny bear one yesterday where there was like this old dude across the street and this guy's yelling at him. He's like, "Dude, behind you, behind you." - And then he drips the other direction. - Well, and he's like looking at the guy like, "Watch, shut the fuck up, man." I'm like, "What are you yelling at me for?" And there's literally a few bears. - And there's a black bear. - Just like a bear. Like, maybe 10 feet, eight feet behind him, like very close. - And he looks back, sees it, and he just kind of like shrugs and keeps walking in the bear. - Well, that man was so old at that point, he's like, "What am I gonna do?" - Yeah, what can I do? - This is how I die. It's pretty fucking old. - Honestly, if you go out, 'cause he seemed late 80s, 90s. - Yeah, he was old as hell. - He was a true old man with a like walker. - It's not that old anymore. - For my family, that's ancient. - Hold up. - I'm saying for me. - No, no, no. - For Dursa. - Dursa's kiss, goodbye. - Goodbye. - If that's how you go out, that's a great, that's what a fucking awesome way to go out. - Yes, by bear. - Yeah. - Just kind of watching your innards spill out. - No, no, no, no, no. - Your pelvis. - Yeah, yeah. - Go, oh, sorry. - Honestly. - The bear just kind of wipes your stomach open and it just rolls out. - Yeah. - But then you're thinking the whole. - You're shaking yourself. - Yeah. - Just feeling the hot breath of the bear on your bear lungs going. - Well, by the way, Blake, you shake yourself regardless. - You shake yourself regardless. - If not everybody shits themselves. - Yes. - When they die. - 100%. - Yeah. - I don't know if you've heard this. When you die, you're like eight ounces lighter or whatever and they say like, that's a soul, but like, it's dooky. - It's a bunch of poo in your pants. - Yeah, that is true. - It's at least solely release all of your liquids. - I think you do, but I think that happens a little later. It's not like immediately or a while you're dying. That would suck. - Why do you think that? What is your reason? Man, I'm never thinking that. Because the body doesn't resist. The body doesn't release its fluids till later in the process, rigamortis. I believe rigamortis is something else. Rigamortis is something totally else. Isn't it like stiffness of the muscles? And you're just saying again, what you just said, that's not, I'm pretty sure rigamortis is, when you die, Rhea, like a couple days later, and you're dead and rigamortis is the poo that comes out. So you think you shit, I hate when Blake is dumb on purpose. You like to really get him when it's real. That's cuter when it's real, it's more endearing. This is, I'm like, what, buddy, now you're just, he's acting like he saw the moves are, man. Yeah, you don't act like you saw the move when you didn't see the move. I'm pretty sure, to be fair, I'm guessing that it's stiffness of the muscles. 'Cause I think that's what rigamortis is. I think that is what it is. Is when your body stiffens, it's not the diarrhea part, but I do believe the, that's what it is. I do believe the diarrhea happens later. I've got a big fucking boner. Okay, hey, I feel like in the chat, let us know when the diarrhea happens. When does the diarrhea happen? And it's been a while, diarrhea. And chat, GPT's not getting anything, huh? Some of it gone. The short answer is yes. The body does poop when you die. Immediately? Most people empty their bowels when they pass away. You're in may also be released, okay? Especially during a traumatic or frightening death, which the bear, you know, the bear, I feel like you're pissing yourself pretty quickly, huh? That's crazy. And you like that. Adam, you're, I wasn't saying, I like that. I mean, you guys, Blake was saying that's the way to go. If you were to get killed by a bear, I think personally you lived a hell of a life. What a book hit. What a way to just so that the last chapter of your life. Oh, and then he was killed by a bear. You're like, what? Yeah. Your grandpa was the fucking man. Yeah, he was killed by a bear. Right. And you think he's hiking somewhere, but he was just like in Glendale walking down the street. Yeah, he was at a zoo. Yeah. He was shooting BBs at the zoo. He just jumped in the bear cage. Suicide by bear, man. That'd be crazy. Blake, you live in an area where there's wild animals. Do you look for them when you go in the backyard at night? Well, there's nothing like too frightening in my neck of the woods. It's like skunks. I feel like your old house was more-- Oh, yeah, man. I used to see like-- 22, huh? P22. P22 is like a really famous mountain lion that used to walk the hills of Hollywood. And it was completely unafraid of humans. And it show up every night, just proves that it is gigantic, dude. And that you would catch him on some ring. Well, I'll just say people coming in with groceries. And then they pass. And you just see this giant mountain lion, yes. I feel like we've covered this, but someone we know I'm not going to name because I don't want them getting death threats. They're the reason P22 is dead. Wait, what? What? What? Really? Someone we know. Someone we know. We're going to have to remember this off fuck, because I don't-- Well, just say it, but we'll bleep it. Someone we know who wrote on Workaholics. They found P22 in their backyard eating a raccoon, just like on their pool deck. Oh, yeah. I'm remembering. And they just called 911 to be like, so I don't know what. I'll give you. So you're telling me there's a Puma in your backyard? That is correct. That's correct. OK. I know it is. And I know who it is. OK. OK. Got it. And so he was like, I don't know what you guys do, but I'm just here. I'm calling to let you know it's here. And I-- you know, I just-- I don't know what to do. And they go, we got it from here. [LAUGHS] No. Blazed it. No. I mean, they know this dude eats raccoons and shit. It's the fact that he was eating it in someone's backyard. It was like, it was just where it shouldn't have been. Well, basically. And in a highly populated area, super dense. And they followed it. And they were like, we can't have it here with like kids and shit. Yeah, true. I do believe that towards the end, P22 had like main or whatever, like started to go kind of insane. And would-- there were ring videos of the mountain line actually like grabbing people's dogs while they're walking them like on leash. So it just started to lose its mind a little bit and get really hungry and start just swooping little dogs up. Yeah. I don't think people really-- We know, gotta get 'em. Yeah. Which was a shame. And then everyone came out of the woodworks because we are so bored as a society. We're so desperate to just belong to something that the P22 movement, people-- There was a movement. What is it? I mean, of course, people are. Dude, when P22 died, people like lost it. People like showed up at like a vigil to be like, oh my god. People like, you didn't give a fuck the day before. Suddenly, fucking people are putting up stuff on Instagram just to be like, I was there. I was part of my new P22. I didn't-- I mean, I liked watching the videos, but I lived in that neighborhood. That-- how terrifying would that be? If you came out like at one o'clock in the morning, get something from your car, and there's just a mountain line. I think about it every time. That thing was fucking huge. Huge. There's just a mountain line behind. 200 pounder. The fact I didn't get killed, like, you know, a T-bow was my neighbor, so I would like walk home at like at two in the morning, stumbling every day. Like, I'm like that mountain lion. You've broken bones on that ride home. Yes, true. Absolutely, because garbage cans need to be fluorescent. They shouldn't be black. That's right, shouldn't that's right. They're very hard to see at night when you're on a bike, and you have margaritas, and you're also texting. So please. Please, make the goddamn cans glow in the dark or something. I think the mountain lion was watching you just like picking a seat like, look at this motherfucker. Yes, bro. The mountain lion was just on the side of the hill. I'm just going, nah. I can't eat this fucking sad motherfucker. Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch. Oh shit. Somebody help me. Somebody get him. I should just jump in front of his ass and make him shit himself, dude. That would be hilarious. I should have just-- I probably came face to face with him, and I just don't even recall. [LAUGHTER] No, people would post pictures of him like in their like vestibules, like, you know how there's like indoor outdoor kind of like situations in California architecture. Like, people would like, he'd be like posted up right outside. They're like kitchen door window, just like big ass eyeballs. And I'm like every time I go out of my house, like to take the garbage out, I'm like, be ready. How am I going out? Wow, be ready. Look for the eyes. Listen, feel the ground. Yeah, I don't fuck with wild cats. We talked about it like the defense against them, but they prefer to attack from the behind. They don't come right at you. They pounce on me. And you don't like that. No, man, surprise attacks. No, they do. They do watch you for a while before they do anything, because they got to sus you out. And then they wait till you turn your back. Fall off your bike. They jump on you, and there's like your two sus. They jump on you, and they tear your lungs out. We have poisonous snakes down here at the beach that have just now popped up because of the warm El Nino watermelons. El Nino is causing a shit to happen. Potions, ocean water snakes, which-- Sea snakes. Sea snakes. That's exactly right. Are sea snakes, you're saying they're poisonous? Smells nice. Yes. They're like venomous, yes. Oh, yeah, they are. And they're aggressive. I mean, if you step on one, I don't like that. Because wasn't I seeing like, there was like a hammerhead shark out there recently. Oh, yeah, we've got some hammerhead spottings, which is so cool. That's the one shark I really want to see. That's the coolest fucking shark, dude. They are the coolest. Would you rather get eaten by a bear or a hammerhead shark? Oh, that's a really good. I mean, a hammerhead shark, that's so specific. So that makes it a little funnier if you're just going for funny deaths. But getting in touch by a shark underwater and you can't breathe on top of it. Not cool. And you can't breathe, yeah, go ahead. Because I feel like if you get maimed, you get mulled, and your guts are, or you at least have a few moments to be like, quickly, let me think of my wife and kids as you're shitting at this. Sure. You're like, quick, let me think of something. OK, got it. I feel like with the drowning, you won't even be able to have, you're not thinking of wife and kids. Because you're just going, like, wife and kids, they're up there. But before that is just seven moments of air. I need air, got to have air. Got to have air. I don't have air. I'm going to die. Is there enough time to think wife, kids? Wife, kids, kids, kids. Somebody help me. Is it enough time to quickly think of wife and kids and parents? No, I think it's after you ingest the water. And you're like this? Yeah. Kind of floating where you go, wife and kids. Me a califa. Fuck. I don't leave. Oh no. No. No, no. I thought I had another, I thought I had another few seconds. I thought I had more time. Oh, I thought I was going to think of my wife and kids. Oh, fuck. I'm going to help. Air. I'm going to have air. Air. Air. Well, I guess I should think of me, Khalifa. No. Oh, boy. No, fuck. What does my wife even look like? Oh, that's coming up with me a Khalifa. Shit what are my kids name really trying to access I'm really trying to access the memory You just remember such a specific for no name and you're like I Know I had children Their names are right there. Sorry, right tip of my tongue top of my teeth. My daughter Mia Mia is it Mia? It's like when someone says like what's her name? And then you they somebody else says a name and you're like no the only name I can think of is that name And it's not it's not that it's something else. You actually survived the shark attack on me and the first thing you said when you woke up was You said Mia Khalifa no, no, I was saying I was saying me me I Mom I love you That's what I meant. I'm sorry. It's a shark bite. It's just completely fucked my shit Oh, sorry really threw me for a loop this shark. I say not me I was saying Mia come on me a kachava. I'm hungry. Give me a kachava It's it is one of those accidents where you now have to pretend that you only could speak it Italian Yeah, you know how about people getting in the head and then suddenly they're speaking Cantonese and you're like what the fuck No, I just I took a like I took a piece. I get a took a like this all the time They're like I Just kind of wish you would I thought we had an out clause. There. Oh, you could love. Yeah Mia attacked by a hammer head of shark. Oh, no, he's keeping it so I come believe it. Look a lack of answer your question I think I think probably a bear me. I can't believe it probably a bear. Okay. Yeah. I think so too Probably a bear because the honor of the water that that seems like a little that's scary. Yeah, I don't like that Yeah, that's not ideal you at least want to take a last couple Gasping, but you want to yeah, you want to look the animal in the eye and have that exchange where they know and you know You go. My energy is now. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and the bear the bear's like no hard feelings. Yeah, this would be none There'd be none. Yeah, there'd be none unless unless it was in just like a little fist bump unless it was in my back yard Oh, then then you're a little bit like dude. I was just like gonna clean the stuff really and yeah Exactly, and then what the wife's gonna have to clean this up and she'll be bombed because I'm a rosbin and mother of her children, you know Father mother Father what she tell is so funny. What is she telling you father? You know what I meant to say I thought I did. I don't know man. That was weird. I don't know Some junior situation here the bears also like I know you were grilling I actually came here. I smelled the food. Yeah, I was coming here for you Started hitting me with the spatula thing. Yep. So he's a yogi yogi bear situation. I think that's just honey, right? No That's when you the poo. Oh, he likes oh, you're right. I'm fine. You like pick a nick pick a nick back pick a nick. Well, pick a nick mask pick a nick mask. Yeah, I love you You wake up from a coma and you just yogi the bear me a hello. Hey, boo boo. Hey boo boo. Yeah dang actually now that we're talking about things We've never watched I don't think I've ever watched an episode of yogi the bear the hell is that show about it's not bear It's not yogi the bear is it what is it is yogi bear? Yo get the bear dude. I don't know. This is a this is a this is a Mandela a fact situation. Yes, is this is a baronstein bear this every bear I'm like wait a second. Was it when you the poo or was it when you poop? It's the poo. I think was the show called jelly stone. Well, that's where they lived But yeah, the Huckleberry Hound show. Oh, that's okay. Sure. I do remember that guy. He was cool. No, this is a yogi the yogi bear That is not yogi bear. It was all hand of our bear. No. Well, it's hand of our bear. It doesn't mean it's the Huckleberry Hound show Well, what does that that we started like how the Simpson started on Tracy almond now? We're not talking about Tracy almond But I think it was just yogi yogi the yogi bears show the yogi bear and who's a came first yogi bearer the baseball player And then they were like that's kind of funny. I do believe yogi bear. I do believe crazy. I do believe you imagine if they were like Adam the line. That's kind of funny. What about Adam go off keep going the vine the vine and it's about a fucking The vine jungle. Yeah, Adam Adam the vine. It's just like I don't think they would pick Adam would be For sure. Yeah. Okay, so it's just like a living breathing ravine Adam the ravine. He's locked in Lisa we should tell them about our new show Oh my god Lexi. I'm Lexi, you want to wear two best friends 22 years apart but so close at heart and I'm Lisa, Julio the old one which means we have wildly different references Occasionally different opinions and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all I'm not gonna get any worse than fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today Now in my 30s being the founder of new shoes good taste is my business and I've always got something to say Man, we're just honest about this there would be so much more peace in the world We're gonna talk about dating relationships beauty getting older and a little wiser We're best friends, but we don't always agree Because you told us how accommodating you are Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me liar Listen on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't really care Hi, this is Kylie breakman, Angel Jaretana, Jeremy Colhane Cash McDonald, and we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast The improvised character comedy podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers What I try to do is Phone journal. I don't know if you guys are to photo journaling. Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. Yeah, so you're so We don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's peloton class? No I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm I'm seeing a reading of Sadako in the pal's thousand paper cranes by Audra McDonald's at the Wonderland bookstore 14 that's crazy. I went to the Wonderland bookstore yesterday And I heard Nora Jones do a reading of zero dark 30. No way Of the last bookstore though. Kim Katrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday A panel of Eurovision participants and we do a little Halloween sometimes does the pope dress up. Hey, he winks on Halloween It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you get the elbows here. The eyelashes hate each other You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on Halloween Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the I heard radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts I'm Lacey Mosley author actor stand-up comedian creator and host of scam goddess podcast the true crime comedy podcast All about robbery fraud and those who practice it each week. I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien Iowa Deppery Lamor and Morris and Nicole buyer. Oh, I scammed them. What I could talk to you for hour your generational yapper like me That's why I had to make yapping a job and the scams run the gamut I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers call your grandparents tell your parents to stop clicking on links Please and now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube if there's a scam I'm here to protect you and I'm also here to laugh with you So if you like fun if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals Start listening to scam goddess on the I heart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast I was just in Hollywood and I found the artist that drew What do you call that wouldn't You're directing something and you you go framed by frame storyboard storyboard artist. Yeah, uh, they yes They thought that Adam Levine was the star of bumper and Berlin And so they just drew Adam Levine in every frame I got there and it's just photo like hand drawn images of Levine everywhere Did I thought they were a punk me and they were like no, it's just this one woman thought Read your name and it was Adam Levine in her brain and just that is not to bring him back a old joke But that's grounds. Yeah, like you don't it's this when you were like going to be starring in the bumper show. Yes You shelve that you go we actually don't have these we don't have the storyboards Well, it was given to me as a as a gift as a rap gift and it's now framed as a joke in my house as a joke No, it wasn't as a joke. It was done. No, no, no, no, no, it was given to you as a you'll think this is fun Because that is got, but it is pretty funny after the fact after she was fired. Yeah, it's hilarious Yeah, no, I think there's a lot of legislation. I think she was Um, you know, German So oh, yeah, you know, yeah, you got to cut some slack there. Yeah, for sure slack was cut And there's what did you what you should pop in your mouth there? We're going to eat eat on the pod come on Bro this guy can't wait one hour before You eating right now dude what chocolate you're just eating chunks of chocolate Wild behavior that is some that's some elite shit. That is some grandfather. Yeah, like granddad's chocolates Yeah, absolutely dude my great uncle had like little bowls of chocolate just around the crib so I could just walk around and go Was he did he battle obesity was was he like no real thin Or just I basically a little pot belly like a old guy. Do you eat a lot of stuff? No, it must be nice You eat a lot of chocolate and you notoriously brush your teeth. What once every two days or whatever are you True getting cavities because I just I just went to the dentist. I thought fucking two more cavities man I have had cavities, but they're Very very rare. I never had him as a kid. I think I had a couple of my 20s. I don't get him I wonder if I just have like Irish teeth or some shit or something weird like that. Yeah I was never that is nothing to do with the I wear a hammer I thought everybody in great Britain this book and had my son Irish Ireland isn't in great Britain Yes, it is and I brush my teeth every morning Just for the I've really locked in great Britain and you can't just talk over me saying that I'm brushing everyone It used to be stated and heard great Britain is the United Kingdom, right? Aren't they the same thing great Britain and United Kingdom It's Scotland England Wales Ireland am I forgetting Wales Virginia? Yeah The independent country of Ireland is not part of great Britain or the United Kingdom So fuck right the fuck off. Well, it was at one point wasn't it wasn't it one but you just went or well It's not now motherfucker and we're the long shinks up here. Okay. All right, it's not now And by the way, I don't like that you said Irish teeth Irish teeth dude Yeah, because I have Irish teeth and my teeth are fucking great. Okay, and Irish teeth are rotten Do you come on? I thought did me find out you were not Irish or Italian or something? What was it when you did you're like your dad? No, that was my mother. I always said my mom always said my mom was right there And she would say like this she was part in Indian She would say Indian and I'm like what that shit's important. He's like I'm I'm part Indian and I'm like I don't I feel like you can't say that and she's like Well, that's how they say it and I am part inded that's how we say it and then she did the 23 and me and found out She's in no way There's no Indian no Indian about you and I do love the idea that that's how they say it is something that she's just guessing Because she's not hanging on the res I mean we're very Midwestern you run into some Indian people every once in a while Native American but Native American Indian comedy Yeah, there's one Indian restaurant and by the way we Our high school mask out we were the Indians sure you were yes notoriously not even that notorious We were the Indians no one said indian. Yes, I No one has ever said indian. I've heard engine which is like a derogatory. You guys. What are we up to? So bear or hammer head shark My spirit animal The hammer head. Yeah, so what she's not she's not Native American even a little bit. Oh my mom That's great. I mean them but I guess I thought you I thought you thought you were Irish and it turns out you were Italian No, you've got to have to fake that's a fake Mandela effect thing happened into you fake news brother. He's actually not that old either He's dead. Oh, he died Yeah, he's done twice. I want to get a 23 and me so bad For the longest time. I was like I don't do it then. I think you can do it really right now You can just yeah, you could just literally click on a button. It'll come to your house like tomorrow You could just do it and you poop in a box. Yeah, you poop. I think it's like a hair situation. Okay, we're a spit sample I don't know. I can't get rid of my hair. I could spit for sure. Yeah, I forgot you have to shave your entire head Dude yeah, 20 23 and me guys the Todd's Todd saying it's a spit thing. Yeah, do we do that as part of a A fun thing that we have to guess each other's I think that would be really cool I would love to do that for the pod jurors did brother did it so I technically already have Oh, yeah, you're afraid of what you're gonna find one unless you take it and you realize you're not related to your brother at all There we go that's cool. That's like some fun things. He is very dark or or if you were to take like There's his end and end and I'm not taking part of that If you were to take a What one of those tests and then they all the sudden they go in a restaurant goal. Mm-hmm or some shit They like the DNA matches and they're like actually it's him that did those murders in the late 90s And he take back You know that could happen that could happen to Durses family. Yeah, and it's a sure that'd be some and he takebacks are probably Any take-backs apologies clues left behind. I mean fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, Durses really doesn't want to do this We're like, yeah, actually they sent it to us for free. So Durses I'm gonna do a spit it in. No, but like no my brother already didn't have to do it That would be crazy, but honest here is tip. I heard like they they're not even that accurate Yeah You know for real though for real though, yeah, I mean like it's all very funny, but um it's a waste of spit It's seriously a good time to laugh with you guys, but also heard Hard to snipe that accurate. So A lot of people getting locked up for almost no reason really It's really kind of a sad situation. I think I'm gonna go to the way house. See what I can do uh talk to Trump You should twist his arm on that. It seems like a good dude talk to your bully. You'll see where I'm coming from Anyway, anyway, takebacks or Didn't did you say hammerhead? Can't remember if you said No, I've said bear so many times that's right of what animal Now what animal would I like to see? I would love to I've seen some bears. They're cool You know, oh, but I mean you've seen the little ones. You've never seen the big ones, right? I've never seen like a true grizzly Have you been up close to the any sort of bear in the wild? I've been in yellow stone when there's been bears Well, those are grizzly out there. No I think they have I think there are black bears. I got rolled up. I've been rolled up by blackers twice Once in they'd be doing once in Montana with kids like on the other side of the bear we're on a path Kids are up front talking kids stuff. All right guys parents are behind bear comes out of the woods onto the trail between us Kids are kind of far up and we're going You guys And then we're just like well, aren't you supposed to be the loudest I think you can't get but we're trying to shout to The kids and then we do but like at first you're just kind of like oh um fucking It's a bear. Yeah, and then they're like no boo bears. We love the Rams. Yeah, we're like And then when I was doing monarch out in Canada in Canada, we got rolled on oh and fucking Wyatt Russell manda Fucking bossed up on this bear really. Yeah, that's cool. There's just like his old man. Yeah, yeah He just goes get out here bear and I was like you called it bear Fucking sick like damn right. Well, he he has like proper hiking boots. Oh, you're in costume But yeah, he's got him somewhere. No, no, I feel like in real life that that man goes hiking. Yeah, he might Yeah, and he knows his way around a hiking trail. Yeah, he's a man. Personally, I'm out there on the hiking trail And you know what I have on some brand new hiking boots. Mm-hmm. They're blistering out my filter They're blistering on my feet. I'm a little bummed about them. I'm like mostly looking for a walking stick. Yeah, a lot of that Whenever I'm hiking, I'm like, where can I get a sick hiking stick? This is like when we went when we went to Peru Where was the Peru where you were complaining much or boots the whole time? It was somewhere Yeah, where you were like god damn it. These fucking boots. Oh god. They just they don't match my pants It's a lot of that. No, that was a like it's not about matching the pants. Okay. It's about It's about my layer of skin is so thin that I bleed when they're brand new. Okay. Hi Whoa, my bad. And so I have to bleed through the pain in order to get them comfortable enough. The bears are like oh The bears were they they No bears don't smell blood. They're not sharks. What do you mean bear smell? Are you thin skin denim? Yeah, technically Yeah, what do you mean bear so smell blood dude? He's locked in No, that's that's not like what draws them. They don't like smell blood and go like oh where where the blood. Yes, there's literally like Notes from camp counselors where they're like and now girls come over here and we're gonna talk to you guys And they talk about when they menstruate and they're like so when you're blatant Bears are sniffing. Oh, I didn't realize that's why they were having that conversation. So Blake, you're fucking idiot and when we do Hey, and when we do apologies, I expect something from two women everywhere and bears. All right. I'll write that down Yeah, that's the joke in like is a anchor man for Steve Carell's like bears smell their periods. Yes, that's right How could I forget that's such a it's science iconic line - yeah, I thought they just smelled like like burgers and like food And that's why you don't know their mammals they smell anything with a nose smells. Yeah, they smell everything Yeah, but I and they have an incredible sense of smell so that doesn't mean like they only smell incredible sense smells I thought it was like I only smell cheeseburgers on the grill because of my sense of smell is incredible. Oh, that's not a great evolution You got y'all got onions? Yeah, I'm a great evolution. Oh shit. Shataki mushrooms. Oh, shit. I'm not eating that I hate the hate mushroom. Do you think a bear hates mushrooms? For sure. Yeah. What do you think bears like mushrooms? No, they like fucking they like fucking pizza. Oh, yeah, I like pizza. What now? What animal do you think you could if you had a A booey knife. You have an an actual like knife a real is it booey? I think it's booey like it like a six-inch seven-inch blade Is that what that is six inches? Anglo's brother is about six and a half seven inches nine inches really long It's like a thick five and a half. Yeah, like some really long nine is nine ten inches right there. Um, I love that bro Mesh is dick like Isn't that the whole thing isn't everyone's dick as long as this? I imagine he's putting it up to his hard penis like it's taking a phone call. I thought that's how everyone I thought that was the thing. Well who who hasn't done that? I've never done that I've never done this to the side of my penis is pointless do it later tonight. You'll be like oh shit do it later and be like That actually nailed it. Yeah, that uh that sort of nailed it. I don't know, bro Like that's like wait, what? Yeah, that's about right. That makes sense. Yeah, it's like uh isn't this uh an ira j Goes like this he just goes oh mine is this oh yeah, it's crazy. This is like sign language isn't this a j? Yeah, sure None of y'all bros know sign language is pathetic. Oh me. I was just doing sign language but that You guys don't know sign language so pathetic. So Adam, you got a bowie knife. Yeah, so which what would you kill? Like which one do you think you could kill or at least get out of the situation? Could killer would want to kill Not would want to and I guess not even kill Do they injure the animal enough to to escape the situation? What's the maximum you say between the hammerhead or bear? No any animal. Yeah, between. Oh, no I was well, I was gonna say between hammerhead and bear we've been talking hammerhead. Yeah, I think hammerhead Yeah, I think their hammerhead just has a mouth Yeah, but they're pretty fucking bear. They're all probably fucking bear. Well, his dick out here when he's like bro and you're like God damn it. Yeah, he got it. He got a free car Dude, yeah, no, I also think bears they're not gonna give up you stab him once with the booty knife They're gonna keep coming at you. Whereas like a shark. I think if they get if they get hit they they dip Yeah, like I'm out of here. Yeah, I think you're right like can't you just you can just punch sharks in the nose and then they they pretty much get out That's what you're supposed to do because all of their like nerve endings are right in the tip of their nose They come and then they're like oh And then they just show they're just like yo, thank you Thanks Everybody's coming that's kind of cool. That's gotta be what happens. I think so and can't you just turn a shark upside down and it's like It goes to sleep. I think we turn the bear upside down. We've been on shark week. We should know these things We should know these things. That's why I'm saying these things. Yeah, they definitely when we turned that What was it a nurse shark or tiger shark tiger tiger shark when we turned it upside down It definitely like fell asleep. Oh, that's right. Yeah, or just that's truly wild the blood just goes to their head or something They just like give up. There's a sign. There's a scientific go For sure thing happy for sure. Yeah, and I think they told us we just forgot. Yeah, immediately forgot We were mostly like yeah, but when can we start drinking? Yeah, they're like okay, we're getting in the water like hey as soon as we let this go We want you guys in the water um Why and then it attacked yours? Well, that was just the baby the baby shark that attacked you the next day I think oh, yeah, yeah, but still when we got the big one It was when they like lost their shit when they go hey There's a tiger shark down there with you now We were all like and it was like just don't turn your back to it and we go we can't wear it where is it yeah And then we get out after the last and that was that's when Blake pretended like his wrist was hurt and He couldn't he couldn't get in my no my the same moment. Is that from the fall? Was that from the fall? Yeah, for us is another time that you make it. I think it was I do. Yeah, that was it because it was during COVID That's yeah, that's correct dang dude. Thank God for that trash getting me got me out of a scary situation Well, but that was a once-in-a-lifetime amazing situation and it would have been so cool to I mean it was so cool to be a part of it I wasn't the one you look back at it does where you like that was I got it look back at it on I heart radio Sam Jay I literally was talking about it today because Emma was like let's go to the Caribbean and I'm like it's super far We were fortunate enough during COVID To be flown out on the private jet that was extra quick It was so elite and I think it still took us almost seven hours did it it went by so quick as I was with my boys They were like usually it takes 10. I think is what it was and they were like we're gonna burn rubber Anyway, that was super special. It was awesome and the fact that like because it was COVID You told us this Adam because you were there the year before that like generally they keep you in a hotel and then every day You go out on a smaller boat and they were like Unfortunately, we're gonna have to put you guys on a hundred and sixty foot yacht like oh No, they're like yeah, and unfortunately you can't fly commercial you have to fly private so you don't get coated So that's unfortunate as well, and we know it's a bummer. So we're also gonna pay you to do this Okay, okay, but but beyond all that I'm talking about the actual experience of Like that first day when we were down there and it was uh This sunken ship. Yeah, and the sharks were everywhere and they were like they were shaman for like a Half hour and then we come out and they go There's actually way more sharks than we thought would show up and we looked down and there's just 30 sharks Oh my god There's dozens of sharks just and and the one guy Andre is covered in like that chain male And he's letting them like bite his arm and ship. Yeah, it was chaos and then they go jump in Don't act like you were there you were just up on deck for like an eating sandwiches and shit in the hot tub Watching yeah, I was watching watching how they go jump in uh and I go What if I land on a shark and they go the they'll just scatter away. I'm like move. Yeah Okay, jump in look around It's just all sharks so many sharks So many sharks. I don't know if I would have been I'm not about that life sharks are scary too I'm not either, but as soon as those cameras start rolling Yeah, you just be just Yeah, song and dance man. I understand that's scary dude. I don't know about them sharks, bro Uh, he takes any apologies any epic epic slag What and what I was uh, I have to apologize for numerous things. I have to apologize to Ireland Or claiming they were part of Great Britain And also that they have that teeth when we're not known for having maybe it's just maybe it's just my family Maybe it's just my family great save I also need to say sorry to what was it to you Adam for something about bears? What did what did I do seem so kind of I kind of forget it exactly Blood I don't know, but I apologize to bears Also to me. Yeah, yeah, Adam his boot selection or something like that. So I'm really I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry Yeah, you called them thin skin. Yeah, yeah, you call me thin skinned and I literally him so that's just an observation Okay, um now Blake any apologies to the community of American Indians or I was just, you know, we sure yeah absolutely absolutely throw him there for all of history, bro That is I apologize all of history. Yeah, you asked that we did not do him right I'd like to apologize on my mother's behalf for you know, she's a sweet woman. She means no harm But she does She thought she was Native American, but she wouldn't say Native American she would say Indian Which is an insane way to say it. So apologies to her. Yeah For her to her from her to the Native American community Absolutely, and where she grew up, Missouri. Yeah, and Iowa. Oh, yeah, Missouri. We love it Missouri, that's a word of those people people. Is it? Yes. True. And yeah. And so it was Omaha. And I believe in Missouri, I think. Yeah. Okay. This is important podcast at OLG stage at Falls View Casino Friday, September 25th. My God. Just around the river bed. Yeah. Well, do it live. Are you guys excited? I am. I am excited. I am. I'm very excited. I love doing the podcast live. We haven't for a while. So there's going to be a lot of hands up the end. Yes. Yeah. It's going to be psychotic. And I love just getting together with my boys. I know. Should we get a bear? I feel like they got to have them all over the place up there. Well, that's a good call. Okay. I'm down for some live animals. Should we have the bear show its nipples? Okay. So this episode comes out on the 22nd. So only a few days from now. If you're in the area, if you're in the greater Niagara Falls area, yeah, I want out to Falls View Casino Friday, September 25th, 8 p.m. OLG stage. Hey, Buffalo. Come on out. Toronto. Come on out. Everybody. It's right there. I don't know. It's all very close. I don't even know how far away things are right there. I think, I think everything's about an hour away. And you go into the casino. It's fine. The local bar down the street from my house. It's a, it's a Buffalo Bills bar. So I drove past the other day. It, it was like the early game. It is absolutely slammed. People are standing on the table. Like yelling, I'm like, do I become just a Bills fan? Yeah, I fuck with Bills Mafia. I think it's such a fun fan base. They're having the best times or fucking lives over there. It's really cool to see how excited you guys are. No, the bills. They're cool. I would love to see them win a Super Bowl. I mean, I remember as a child and losing over and over and over again. And I think they deserve it. They're fans deserve it for sure. Josh Allen. He's got a hell of an arm. He's got wheels on them too. It's total package. It's gorgeous. And I think that and. And I think the Clippers are going to win it this year. Yeah. That's it. It's not funny. Why are we left? Why are we left? Lisa, tell them a better new show. I'm Lexi, you want to wear two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my foot days, I've lived it all. Listen on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, standup, comedian, creator, and host of scam goddess podcast, the true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it each week, I bring on an amazing guest. Oh, I scammed them. What? And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube, start listening to scam goddess on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Kylie breakman, Angel Jaretana, Jeremy Colhane Cash McDonald, and we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast, the improvised character comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. And we do a little Halloween sometimes, does the Pope dress up? He, he winks on Halloween. I hear you get the bubbles here. The eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists every Thursday on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I heart podcast guaranteed human.