Ep 292: You Deliver Babies, I Deliver Pizzas

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With the iHeartRadio app, your favorite radio station fits right in your pocket. Live shows, news, sports, exclusive music channels, and voices that don't just go viral. They're the voices of your local community. So if it's not already on your home screen, fix that. Download the number one radio app, the free iHeartRadio app today. iHeartRadio. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important, this guy's right lung is, the hot dog factory. If I'm gonna drink, I wanna have 11 drinks. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future. Let's go! And I'm feeling good. That'll wake you up. Woo! Good morning. Yes, good morning, Adam. Hello, fellow muchachos. What is up, guys? Welcome back. Buenos dias. Welcome back, y'all. Hey, guys. What's going on with you? It's life in the fast lane, brother. You know how it is. Thank you for asking. I never know when you're joking, but this feels genuine. It does. It feels very real. My dad has a new lung. I have things I wanna unpack. Wait. Okay, let's unpack that. And Durs, if you could shut up for a second. Okay, Adam would like to go first. Hey, how are you? My dad has a lung, guys. Well, you guys didn't say anything. I asked how you were, and then you said, wow, this feels genuine. This feels genuine. I couldn't find a parking spot the other day. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sorry, guys. So he's got a new lung. I feel like that's a pretty big thing to talk about. It is, but can we move on? It's not funny. Can we talk about the parking spot for a second? Okay, yeah. No, no, no, no. Let's talk about the parking spot. Yeah. So, parallel parking. Super high. High curb. I park so good, and then my kid goes, Daddy, I can't open my door, and I go, why don't you climb out the window? Oh, that's fine. Wow. So your dad got a new lung, huh? Did you really? Did it climb out the window? That would have been sick. If your dad actually got a new lung, then yeah, he did climb out the window. Did that really happen? He did. He did. Okay, then same. New lung. He was on the list for only five days. Can you believe it? Can I tell you something? I made it happen. There you go, Ders. I found a guy. Ders pulled some strings. Yeah! I mean, that's got to be a movie, right? Where someone's on the waiting list for something, and someone's like, what? John Q. Go ahead. John Q. Tell me more. Tell me more. That's what it's about. It's about, well, they refuse to get his son a new body part, so he takes the hospital hostage, Denzel Washington. It's really good. Okay, so the movie I'm talking about, yours is more of a romp. It's somebody who goes around asking what blood type people are, and then kills them and is like, look, look, look, look, this guy, guy. He got lung. He got lung. Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. I like that. We need that one. We need that one. Go, go, go, go, go. He's dying. He's dying. He's dead. Yeah, my dad, he has the, I think it's O negative or O positive, the one that is very easily, like, you can get lungs super easy. That blood type. So it was pretty dope. It was just lungs for, whatever, yeah. It was lungs for days, dude. Dang. But my dad did say a funny thing when they pulled, because they have a breathing tube down your throat, right, and it has to stay there for a day or so. Sure. And when he pulled it out, the first thing he said is he goes, that gourd fucking sucked. Hell yeah. And I'm like, cool. Cool first words back. Yeah, yeah. I get that. I thought it was going to be, I thought you were teeing up, like, a real clever thing, but he was just kind of saying something matter of fact. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. That's D. It's not going to be clever. It's just going to be fucking matter of fact. Yeah. How deep down do they put that tube? How deep does it go? Bend over and I'll show you. I think it goes all the way into his lungs, obviously. Holy shit. What a, how long was this surgery? Should we get into the details? Should we get in the nitty gritty? What's, walk us through it. Did you hold his hand? I mean, I think it was like six hours, six hour surgery. Goddamn. That's too long. It was very long. He was having back spasms. I'm like, welcome to my world. Welcome to my world. Oh, damn. During it, but he's under and he's back. Afterwards. No, afterwards. Because they can torch you in all kinds of weird ways. Yeah. And then, yeah. And then he was in a lot of pain for a day, but then the next day he goes, I'm not in any pain. And then they go, well, we are giving you stuff for it. And I'm like, oh, like Dilaudid or like some like real pain medicine. And they go, no, we're giving him gabapentin, which is the shit that I take for my nerve pain. Right. And I'm like, oh, it must, it must be so much gabapentin. And I'm on 900 milligrams three times a day. We can tell. Yeah. And he's on 100 milligrams twice a day. And I'm like, oh, and I'm feeling, I'm a bitch. Gotcha, bitch. I'm a bitch. But it is truly crazy. He's up and walking already. It's modern, modern medicine, dude. Yeah. It's fucking wild. They opened up, they carved through his chest here, opened it up. And then they, they use like a, a crank where they just like, and the chest goes, the chest cavity, the chest cavity, and then they just get in there. Freaking. I feel like I saw that on, uh, the famous episode of, uh, tales from the crypt. Oh, where the guy goes into surgery, but he, somebody gives him like a serum that makes him a lot like awake and feel all the pain, but can't. Right. Yes. Yes. It's a great, remember this one? Yes. It's a big fear of some people to be like, put under, but you're still awake. So you can, you can't feel it, but you know that it's, or is it that you can feel it, but you can't say anything. I have had that happen. Yeah. Adam. Right. Right. Oh, cause I've had, you've said a few things that I want to circle back to. Like your dad had back spasms and you're like, welcome to my world. It's just amazing. After they just, and then also that you think you're a bitch for taking maybe too much medicine. Yeah. I think maybe over prescribed is, It's not that you're a bitch. I think maybe too much. Not your fault. Well, then when I tried to. You take less, and then the spasms come back. So I just take a ton of it. Good call. Good call. Welcome to your own world. Welcome to my world. But what did I just say that you were like, oh, we want to circle back to this? I already circled back to both of them. Oh, okay. Yeah. So awesome, dude. Nice. Yeah, so it's sick. But so your dad, and then we went into the tales from the crypt, but your dad, go. Yes. No, I woke up during a surgery before. You have? Oh. Yeah. And- As a bit? As a bit, you did it? You were like- Yeah, I was just like, this will be funny. Surprise! But it was on my legs, and I remember I just came to, and they were like, very much like, oh, shit. And quickly put the fucking gas mask back on me, and I was like, oh. Did you like- Tell me more. Tell me more. Like, did you shoot awake, or was it kind of like, oh, what are you guys doing to my legs? No, it was groggy, and I remember, and I didn't feel anything, but I could like, see them down there, whipping and nae-nae-ing on my legs. Sure. They were the doctors? They were. The doctors. They were. The surgeons. They were. Yeah. You caught- He caught us whipping and nae-nae-ing. You caught your surgeons making a TikTok? Yeah. That's crazy. Well, it was before TikTok, so they were just dancing. They were just vibing, huh? Yeah. It was before whipping and nae-nae-ing. It was before even there was a term for it. Yeah. I mean, that's gotta be why surgeries take so long, right? Because if they're really going at it, these things shouldn't take longer than two hours. Two hours, right? Like, six hours? What the fuck are you doing for six hours? You think they're busy dancing? Well, I mean, for sure, after an hour or so, you're getting kind of bored. You're getting a sandwich. You want a snack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want a- And also, you're hunched over this body. Yeah. You're checking- You're tensing up. You gotta stretch it out. And also, what's going on on Instagram? You haven't checked that in an hour. Exactly. Thank you. Right. You have someone, like, hold it up, though, right? Yeah. Swipe up. Swipe up. Yeah. Scratch my nose? Yeah. Swipe up. Because you gotta see reels. You gotta see what the algorithm's pushing you. Absolutely. And then it's also kind of fun to see other doctors and what their algorithm's pushing them. And you're like, oh, I never- I actually don't get that in my feed. That's kind of fun. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. You know? That is interesting. Or, like, check a dating app, of course. You gotta be on the dating apps. Sure. You just tell them, swipe left, swipe left. Yes, exactly. Swipe right. What do you guys think? Should I? Yeah. Should I throw it? Hey, good call. Yeah. So, that was the- That was the big news over here is just- And he didn't wake up with anything in his body, like fucking pliers that they forgot or, like, half a hot dog bun? They've yet to find it. They're like, holy shit, this guy's got a belly full of hot dogs. He's got a lung full of hot dogs. So, we were able to do the hot dog surgery and, like, you mean the lungs? You mean the right lung? I'll be- I mean- Right back. The cause of diarrhea. This guy's right lung is a hot dog factory. Hot dog. And while they're in there, do they tie his tubes? You know how you can get, like, another surgery while- Oh, yeah. Like, while you're under, they're like, we could also- Yeah. Do they do any lipo, any, like, abs? How hilarious would it be if they gave him, like, a full facelift? He comes out and Dennis D's just looking snatched. Dudes are getting the ab implants now. What's that about? What are they doing? Like, they have, like, a fat belly, but you can see, like, the ab fucking outline. But are dudes getting that? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Would we consider them dudes? I mean, are you- Oh, dude, great question. Okay, I'm a man, brother. Are we revoking man cards? Is this the- Yeah. Can we make this a weekly bit where we revoke man cards? Do you think you're a dude if you're getting ab implants? Nucky grandma! Well, first off, what do they put in there to make the abs? That's gonna kind of change my vote. Wouldn't you love to know? Wouldn't you like to know? I don't know. Silicone fucking rubber. Yeah. Oh, you know, man card gone. Man card gone. Revoked. Revoked. Hey, but what if it was fucking mahogany? All right? What do we do? Now we're talking. No, I actually kind of- Dude, I actually kind of like this bit. What if your six pack was a six pack of Budweiser? Oh, okay. Now your man card is doubled, and it's good for a year. You're getting stamped. And then Atiba can just press, put a thumb on your belly, and just- Dude, shotgun me. Shotgun me. In your belly button, he's just like, and then he drinks beer out of your- Dude. I don't know where he drinks beer out. I don't know where he drinks it. Wherever it comes out of. Todd says they're made from solid, cohesive, and soft silicone designed to feel like firm muscle tissue. Now we're talking. Your boobs are huge. Great. Do we get them? You know, and I'm all for being freak athletes and maybe taking HGH or testosterone or whatever. Dude. Just a little touch so I don't lose these fucking sick gains. I had a really good conversation about GLP-1s yesterday with an unnamed person. And what are GLP-1s again? The, like, the fat shot where you can lose weight. The fat shot. Yeah. GLP-1s. I don't know what we call them. I can't stop eating. Wegovi. I always just call them wa-wa-wa-wagobi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Auto hearts. Ow. So. Okay. Yep. I mean, I guess everyone does. Yeah. So, had a conversation with a dude. Pow, pow. Power wheels. Wagobi. I haven't seen him. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Specifically, Wegovi. Have it Wegovi way. Have it your Wegovi. Okay. I still haven't seen this guy. Tell me when the Wegovi. Just Wegovi it. I haven't seen this guy in a few months. Okay. Months. And he was also just sick. And he was leaned up. And I was like, whoa, dude, you were hemmed up sick and lost some weight. And he goes, well, I'm also on GLP-1s. And I was like, oh, you're the first person who I've seen lose weight. And has just told me. That's good. Usually, it's a lot of women I know who I just, I'm like, not. Don't ask, don't tell. Not pressing. This is the way. Congratulations. You just go, hey, you look great. Congratulations. You've never lost a pound. Ever. Ever since I've known you. And now you're 40 pounds down. That's crazy. Good for you. Pizza, pizza. And honestly, good for them. You can't stop. You're doing hella pull-up. You're doing cartwheels. Yes. What the fuck? He's just flat out straight up. And he goes, it's the best thing I've ever done. It's the best thing I've ever done. He goes, I go back to the doctor now. Every metric that was off before has now bounced back into, like, the green zone. Was this a big man? No. No. Really? Not even that big. He said overall he's lost 50 pounds. Okay. Holy shit. I told you, dude. Right. But, like, he said now he's what he weighed in college or high school. So, I'm thinking he might have been, like, 220. He might have been 220. Okay. Down to, like, 170-something. Okay? That's a lot of weight. That's pretty nar-nar binks. Yeah. I know. I was like, and he told me that the reason he started his inciting incident, shall we say, was sleep apnea. He got, like, tested for sleep apnea. They were like, you need to lose weight now. We're going to put you on this. So, he got on it. And I was like, goddammit. I need, like, a wake-up call. Sleep apnea. Maybe. Something. Right? Like a heart attack. Something. Or maybe we just take it and we all get down to our high school. High school weight. That's what I'm talking about. And Blake would weigh 98 pounds. Dude, I would become an afro-fetus. Blake would weigh 112 pounds. I would go back to a fetal. But you don't have that much fat. Yeah. It would be hard for Blake to, I feel, lose. I just want these titties out. Dude. Gone. Blake's already on. These titties on me. Wa-wa-wa-wa-go-vee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Auto parts. I love wa-go-vee. I need to get on wa-gravy. That's what I need. Wa-gravy. You need to be on wa-gravy. I need to add pounds. Yeah. Yes, points. Yes, points. Give yourself points for that. Oh, thanks, D-O. Yes, points! Thank you. Yes. Because, yes, I feel like Blake doesn't eat anyways. It is supposed to suppress appetite, right? That's what the. He goes, I just don't even think about eating anymore. I feel me and you, Ders, I think we would need it. I think we would benefit. Need it? I don't know. But benefit? I think we're the same in that, like, you can go pretty hardcore for a couple weeks. Maybe we're different. Maybe I'm worse. Maybe you're worse. But go a couple weeks where you're, like, on a program. Eat. Eat and write. And then you just drive by a place and you're like, let me do a little U-turn here and just get something in the drive-thru real quick, like a Shake Shack or a taco stand. I think you're worse when it comes to that, because I don't really eat a lot of fast food. Whoa. But just tacos? Like. Yeah. Come on. Via's Tacos? Shout out to the Super Bowl? The best. I have some sick Mexican restaurants down the street from my house, and I pass in and go, let me gobble. But also, my. My thing, I think, is alcoholism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? You know, just. Not even alcoholism, but I will say when I do drink, I don't like to drink two beers. That, to me, is a nothing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good luck. And then, usually, it's a weekend. But here's my question, because I'm the same way, but it's an atmosphere thing, where it's like, when in Rome. When in home. When in home. Points! I'm drunk. I'm drunk. Now. But see, we do so much cool shit, right? Like, we were just at the. Like, I went to Hawaii for that golf tournament, and everybody's drinking, so I drank for a week. Then we came home for a few days. Then I went to the Super Bowl, and then I drank for a week straight. And then, from there, we went on the cruise, and let's say we boozed. And then I got. I plumped up. And then afterwards, I was. I'm kissing, too. I gotta get down. And then I saw a we, we, we, we go V. commercial and I was like, let me maybe a gobble. Wait, are we doing high school weights? What was your high school weight? Go ahead, but I did want to circle back to high school weights. High school weights? No, but what were you just going to say? I kind of forgot. Have you plumped up from our tour? And also, shout out to the Google Glasses, but go ahead. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I lost my Meta Glasses. The Meta Glasses look so much better. The Google Glasses look so whack, dude. You don't like that? These are fresh, dude. I very much don't like that. I look like Star Fox. You don't look cool. If that's what Star Fox looks like, he doesn't look cool. Those are 15 years old. These are, yes, these are very old. Vintage pieces. I think even six years ago, I made a video where I was like, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future, when they were like eight years old. But the thing about the Meta Glasses is you- The fact that you kept those, because we all got those for free. I remember when we got those for free. We were still shooting Workaholics. Mine are right here. I threw those away month two of having them. I just knew they were going. They're going to age very, very well. These are something you need to have to just show people what the first one was. Because the Meta Glasses, you can't really tell that there's anything going on other than there's a light that lights up in the middle. But they look like sick Oakleys or Ray-Bans. But these, you know. Did you ever have a pair of those new Meta Oakleys? You have a pair of those? I did. I had them for one day during the Super Bowl. And you lost them. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Half a day? A couple hours? Yeah. Maybe we went to that one party and you somehow lost them. And also, I was like, I remember we were going to the party and it was at night. Wasn't it? Dude, you don't remember how this happened? I don't. He got them in the lobby leaving your hotel. Yes. I remember. And then we went to the other hotel to be on a podcast that I think we can mention. Or maybe we can't. I don't know. We can't. Yeah, New Heights. We can. Great. New Heights. And then we're in the lobby of that hotel. Maybe 28 minutes later. See, that's the thing. I did have them a whole day. I got them in the lobby and we went to the tight end university party and I had them on there. And then in the morning, I wore them to the New Heights podcast and I left them at the New Heights podcast. What? Really? Well, I bet we could get you more. But anyways, how fat were you in high school? I thought you had them for like 28 minutes. Yeah. Anyway. I don't really recall, but I think I was like 135 pounds. There's nothing. That is so tiny. 135? Or maybe I was 140. I don't, I really don't remember. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, maybe. I remember for a while. Wait, but, and how tall were you? Because how tall are you? 5'11 or 6 feet? I'm probably 5'11, but you can list me as 6 feet. Kiss and six. Yeah, okay. We will. I feel like I'm getting taller, but I- That's usually how age works. Yeah. I- After you, after you broke your back and you got compressed. Yeah, for sure. No, they put some inches- Actually, you might have after they put the cyborg. They put some inches in me. I'll put some inches in you. Okay. Points. You gave yourself points. Yes, points. Sports fans are completely irrational. I'm not checking my pick every five minutes. Sure, dude. I'm not losing it in the group chat. Good luck. That's why I love having someone on the line. It turns all of us into complete lunatics. Suddenly, you're rooting for some bad guy. Backup tight end you've never heard of because he needs 12 yards. What's his name? Who cares? Catch the ball. That's sports. That's underdog. Download underdog to play. Keep your million. Start with one million. Make it through all 20 picks and walk away with whatever's left in bonus funds. Underdog. Unleash your dog. Terms apply. At American Military University, they honor that commitment with reduced tuition for military families. Contact them today and learn more at amu.apus.edu. slash military. Mybo, oh yeah. Mybo, oh yeah. Hey guys, have you ever noticed that certain flavors can transport you back to your childhood? Like orange soda, right? Or blue raspberry, dude. Yeah, I love the blue raspberry. Well, now, Cachava has cinnamon French toast. And I can't help but savor every last taste, just like I used to savor every last drop of sugary milk at the bottom of my cereal bowl. It just gives me that perfect nostalgic feeling. You're right, Blake. And did you know that it's made with real cinnamon bark? Yeah, it's a comfort flavor with benefits and no sugar in it. No sugary drawbacks. Cachava satisfies cravings and supports whole body nutrition. I've experienced a lot of positive changes since I started enjoying Cachava. Really? I feel I have better energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition, and immunity. Cachava supports them all. Cachava provides clean nutrition of fuel wherever your day takes you. No fillers, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners, non-GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no preservatives. There are so many flavors to choose from or combine. Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate, mint, and of course, cinnamon French toast. Treat yourself to a childhood favorite. Go to Cachava.com and use code THISIS for 15% off your first order. That's Cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com. Code THISIS. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing, what would that be? For instance, I'd like to be better at keeping my plants alive, maybe shopping less online, and for sure learn how to better manage my stress. Better doesn't have to come from major victories. It can be from the small habits you create and how you honor your needs on a daily basis. Most of us aren't trying to become completely different people. We're just hoping to feel a little better every day. BetterHelp.com. BetterHelp.com is making therapy more accessible so more people can keep moving forward, one conversation at a time. Better is personal. Therapy should be, too. Better is a feeling defined by you. And for BetterHelp, it's a BetterHelp therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash THISIS. That's Better H. E-L-P dot com slash THISIS. Okay, so you were a dainty. You were very tiny. That's a very tiny. Yeah, I was very small. So much so that I started to drink. And was that senior year of high school? Because I think we have to talk senior year. Yeah, senior year. Yeah, wait. I'm sorry. You weighed that much and then your sentence was so much so you had to drink. I started to drink. What was that? Like weight gainer. Like whey protein. But what? No, it was like. Boost? Boost? Insure? No, it was even before that. It was like one of the first things. Oh, it was Carnation Instant Breakfast. Do you remember Carnation Instant Breakfast? Wake up in an instant. I think I've heard of it, but what is it? Is that like something they give to old people so they don't die because they can't eat food anymore? So they just. That's what insure is. A boost for breakfast, an insure for dessert. Look, I recall telling my mother. I remember coming to my mother's desk and saying, Mom, I need to. Mommy, I'm too scared. I'm skinny. I'm small. I'm frail. I need to put on some sort of weight. And she. Who said that? She threw Carnation Instant Breakfast my way. That was her answer to. I also don't think your mom really knows. She didn't know what to give you. And she was just like, OK, just here you go. Looking back, probably didn't even have one clue. And it was before Google. So there was no way to know. By the way, senior year of high school was not before Google. But this was sophomore year. I didn't know that senior year was something we were talking. About senior year was when I started to kind of grow. Did you develop? I started to develop. OK, so so we were talking senior year. We're not going to say, Adam, what do you weigh each year of your life? Tap that on at the end. I think I was like one hundred and sixty pounds, like one sixty one sixty five. See the senior year of high school. Yeah, hold up. And that was all dick. That's pretty good. And I was five, seven, five, eight. And what? Yeah, we still am. Were you fully developed? developed, like you had armpit hair and all that. Oh, yeah. He had, like, lamb chops. What do you call the lamb chops? What do you call those? Oh, yeah. No, I had the burns, baby. You had the big chop of rocks. Yeah, you know me. I'm a California sun bear. I got a little hair on me. Yeah. See, I was still. Are you an otter? I'm short, furry, and funny. Absolutely. Are you an otter? An otter? Yeah, yeah, I could be an otter. Why not? What's an otter again? Well, a bear's, like, a big, hairy guy. I think an otter's, like, a slimmer, hairy guy. No, a California sun bear, they're a little tinier, and then they got, like, a little golden patch of hair here. Oh. That's why I went with a California sun bear. I guess I haven't clicked on that category. Yeah. Of Pornhub adjacent. Yeah, for sure. No, California sun bears. But I will now. Dig in. Well, that's what all the gay guys would call me at the improv when I first moved to Hollywood. One gay guy. And I went on, well, I went on multiple two gay dates. That's right. Without meaning to. I'm just. Whoops. I'm just. I was just a 21, 22-year-old kid who was excited to be working at the improv. Great Hollywood. These men were like, we should hang out, these comics. I saw your Domino's commercial, and I love what you're working with. I saw your dump truck of a Domino's commercial. And they said, and I didn't know what they meant. They're like, you're like a little bear cub. And I just was like, yeah, I guess I'm, like, kind of tiny, but, like, ferocious. Is that what they mean? Yeah. I'm more of a Dodgers fan now. You start, oh, we're talking sports, huh? Yeah. And I didn't know that they were, they were sussing me out to see if I was gay. Suss? Super suss. They were sussing. And I didn't know. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I am a bear cub. Oh, man. And they're like. I do want to hear a conversation where one guy thinks it's about sports and the other guy's definitely talking about gay stuff. Yeah. I might have to go write that and then live it. Or something. I don't know. That's a sketch for sure, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Someone's doing that. I'm a dude. I mean, if that guy doesn't choke up on the bat, you're telling me. Yeah. In high school, you were a tight end. What's his batting average? Got a big tight end? I'm sure there's something. There's something. We'll do it. Yeah. I wonder, wouldn't mind letting him steal home plate. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's important. That's how you win games. That's definitely how you win games. Yeah, it is. You know there'll be fireworks after that. I love the fireworks. At the end of the game. Oh, my God. After a big win. If I couldn't suck cock, it'd be sudden death. Wait, what? Sudden death? Yeah. You just kind of go through. It's loud. It's loud in the bars. So you're like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Sudden death. But also, it happens the other way, too, where it's like, yeah, I mean, he was an MVP this year. All right. I haven't actually heard that. Is that like a DP? Yeah. Similar. What's that? Is that a designated pitcher? I don't even know if that's a. Is GP still a thing? Yeah, for sure. Sure is. Sure is. They have talked about getting rid of it in the NL, but actually, that would be the AL. Yeah. Wouldn't mind slobbing on his knob. Yeah. Well, I guess if you want to grip lower on the bat. Yeah. Yeah. More torque. Yeah, sure. Okay. Spitball. Just like. What's important? Spitballs. Well, technically, they're illegal. Spit on your balls. Yeah. How good they feel. Yeah. You fist his asshole. I'll deep throat you so hard, I'll just spit on your balls. You could. I guess you could fist his fastball, but you might break your hand. It's actually happened to me before. Funny you should say that. Yeah. Huh. I was jerking him off so hard, I broke my hand. Yeah, there's jerks out there, man. There's jerks. Nothing like a good teammate. I like the guy. Hey, tag me in. I've tag teamed a couple guys. Yeah. Yeah, pro wrestling fan. Sure. Oh, man. I've seen some gnarly. I've been in some pretty nasty dugouts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This was just me at the Hollywood Improv when I was 20 years old. I like that we're pitching. It's like in a loud bar, but this is before you're open, so it's really quiet, and you're just completely like, uh-huh. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. That is too good. Too good. I kept my cleats on the whole time. It's a bagel. So how big were you in senior year of high school then, Derzy? Because there isn't much of a difference. I usually weigh about 180 now, so 165 to 180. That's not crazy post-high school. I was 175. Wow. Man, meet mountain. Yeah. You were long and lean. Let that sit there for a little bit. Pull back. Now you're 230, 240? 258. Yeah. That seems right. Holy crap. Now I'm kissing. I'm kissing, too. I'm kissing, too, this morning. But in college, I upped yardage in practice and lost weight and was in the 160s, which was insane. I was like dying. I don't understand what any of that just meant. You upped yardage. Like on the swim team. Okay. That means you swam further. Exactly. Okay. And so like burning muscle. Even though I was stronger and more powerful, lost weight, which I wish I didn't. I wish I maintained a little bit of that muscle. A little bit of that power. That sweet moss. When you're upping yardage, are you upping it in increments that are useful to swimming? Like, because there's only a certain length of races, right? Correct. Correct. Yeah. So it's specific to what you usually do, right? So if you're in the distance group, you practice over there. Sprinters are over here. Mid-distance are over there. Right. But like, there were people who were coming from high school programs where they're like, oh, I'm used to doing way more. And I was like, that's crazy. Because this is wild. They're working my ass to the bone. Right. But yes, sprinters didn't do as much as like the distance dogs, which is just a whole other situation. Thank God. So what ended up being your specialty? Were you a distance guy or were you a sprinter? I guess I never have a lot of that. Sprinter power. That's so dope, dude. Quick twitch muscles. Yeah. That's so dope. Is it? Sprinting is always kind of cooler than distance, in my opinion. Those are like the rock stars. Yeah. What's more palatable for people to sit and watch, right? Yeah. It's super boring. Like in the Olympics, when it's, what's the long distance race? I don't, I have no clue. Who cares? When you're watching the water. For swimming? Yeah, for swimming. The 1500. You're like, is it ever going to end? It goes so long. You like go, you make a sandwich, you come back, you eat the sandwich. This is why Katie Ledecky, Katie Ledecky is basically like Michael Phelps, just right below him only because of what he did in Beijing with like the eight medals and all that. But she's unreal. But she's a distance swimmer. So it's just not as like. Not as exciting. Not as exciting. You don't want to watch it. Yeah. You don't care. But literally like she swam for like 10 years and no one beat her ever. And you're just like. That's crazy. That's a wild run. How's this possible? That is a wild run. Do you want to push the who cares button? In a distance, which is arguably harder. Well, but let me just tell you her luggage situation. Who cares? She definitely had a Speedo bag. But no. The sprinting, like Michael Johnson, the gold shoes, like. Right. The showmanship. Now, now, now do long distance swimmers shit their pants? The way long distance runners shit their pants? No. Wait. Yeah. Has anybody ever shit the pool? Do they shit the pool? You guys, I'm glad you asked. Well, yeah. People shit the pool. I told you, dude. But not in a race. Not in a race. No. Just for fun? I have. Have I seen this? Or was this just a story someone told me where they were on a relay and one of their teammates was like, I got to go to the bathroom. I got to the bathroom. And the coach was like, the relay, we're starting now. And he's like, I got to go to the bathroom. They're swimming. This person's like, not the first swimmer. Or maybe it was the first or second. But he like literally bends over to like get ready to go off the blocks, shits his pants like down his leg, onto the block, jumps in and like goes. And then the other two swimmers are like, we have to go. So I think. I'm not jumping in. Yeah. This is no longer my story. It's for sure somebody else. And they were like, we splashed the block to clear that off. But then just dove in and finished the relay. And through the diarrhea. But dude, but dude, see, this is what it wouldn't bother. I mean, it would be gross, but it wouldn't bother me that much. It's a giant pool. It's a giant pool. It's 12 ounces of diarrhea. But you know that it is. Whoa. Whoa. For like 10 minutes. It was a little shit. And then you dive right through it and you're already through it. And you're covered. And we've all seen someone hose for 10 minutes. And you're covered in chlorine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's all good, baby, baby. You would think so. But then you hear stories about how just like one baby takes a shit at like a huge beach. Yes. And then everyone gets E. coli. Yes. Exactly. But anyway, they had to swim through it and swam through it. And it was like their story. Legendary. But there's no. The marathoners. Marathoners shit their pants for a few reasons. It's that long. Right. You're out there for a long time. And you're taking all this like gels and stuff that fuck with your stomach in a major way. Right. And can give you diarrhea. Why are you taking gels? Just like energy pouches and shit. Exactly. You have to replace. Because you're burning all that energy. You've got to replenish it. And sometimes it can fuck with your tummy. They call it tummy troubles. Dude. Yeah. I mean, OK. Well, that makes sense. I know the Winter Olympics were quite some time ago. But did you see the speed skater person? Is it over? Yeah. It's been over for a really. Just ended right now. Really long time. Did you see this? No. It was a speed skater that got the fucking skate like two. the eyeball like almost got their eyeball stabbed out i heard about that it was very scary it was very scary yeah i uh i didn't watch hardly any of the i just find it the olympics the winter olympics much more boring than the summer olympics i do too and people got on my ass when i said that people i like to get involved i know you do ders i think summer olympics is by far better it's by far better i don't compare the two i just don't compare the two okay i like that i like that i i i look into the winter olympics for what it like i don't really care about figure skating sure but i'll turn it on and i'll go god damn that dude just fucking jumped and spun a lot of times and then landed it or didn't or whatever and his costumes are so freaking cute dude the costumes aren't for me yeah uh or like that one the one he wore like the conan yeah what was the barbarian his name was the quad god the quad god love that though love that and it wasn't about his his quad muscles it was about how much he spun in the air which i had to find out later i think which you couldn't believe you're like how is it not about his muscles you watched you watched all of the figure skating of the male figure skating dude you watched this guy was set up to win man he had it in the bag and he completely biffed it dude yeah completely these things happen these things it does it's a big stage that sucks what's home girl name who came back to skiing uh oh when she like tore her shit off and then she just was like i'm gonna just ski anyways what was i mean now i'm fucking this is just i know i'm also feeling disrespectful but everyone at home you're screaming at your television your netflix yes no and by the way no one knows no one watched the winter olympics no one really cared it kind of who gives a shit like when when like baseball's finally kicking back up the oh yeah basketball playoffs are coming that's what americans care about again i'm not comparing it to those things i'm i'm i'm watching it for what it is i like the i like the stories i also i there's a certain level of like panache not obviously somebody you say panache yeah yeah there well there's definitely that thank you um there's a certain level of like most of these people not all but most of these people are doing this for absolutely zero dollars yeah that's the crazy they're doing they're doing skeleton is like how much time they dedicate for this and they get paid nothing yeah when it's their whole lives but also i i know and we've talked about this before go would it be possible if we started 20 years ago for any of us to be an olympian if you picked a sport that was so specific yeah see but this is my point could we become yes in a an olympian but this is my point my point is this maybe we could yeah but would you they did it they did it they did it that's my point is that like we would start on a lark but like they're actually grinding and still doing it whereas at a certain point you'd be like is this really worth it to like be here every night fucking curling just to prove that i could do it yes so blake has been curling a lot lately yeah yes i have interesting I'm starting to like it. For no specific reason. I went to Winnipeg to just curl. Yeah, you just went to Winnipeg, spent a couple months up there just to curl. Just to curl my ass up. Didn't record any of it, weirdly. Yeah. So when you did that, did you think like, oh, I could get so good that I could be an Olympian? Or were you like, I'm actually pretty bad at this? It's definitely curling is deceivingly hard. I feel like if I dedicated every waking hour, I think I could probably get pretty good. But dude, no. But that's the thing. That's the difference. It's like, are you going to do that? And there's almost no like pot of gold at the end of the rainbow other than the satisfaction of being the person who's like, I did it. And now I'm going to go back to my job as an accountant in the basement of a skyscraper. Yeah. And then you go, well, he's an Olympian. And people are like, oh, shit. He's an Olympian. What were you an Olympian of? And then they say like, not that curling's shittier, but I think like that's one of the ones where people are like, oh. Oh, shit. That with the rocks and the ice. Almost all of them. Almost all of them. Like if you're like short track speed skating, which I think is fucking sick. I fucking love that. People are still like, oh, all right. Like we can name maybe Adam can't. But like we know one. Short track speed skater from our lifetime. Bonnie. Bonnie Blade. No, no. Bonnie Blair was long. She was long track. Bonnie Blade. That's a porn star, dude. Bonnie Blade. Bonnie Blue. She just fucked like a thousand dudes. What about the homie Apollo? Apollo. Oh, no. Apollo. Oh, no. I pulled it. I found it. I found it. Look at you go. Yeah. That sounds like a fast name. Yeah. He's the G. He was the fucking man, dude. He's the G. He was the man. And he looks so good in the spandex. Oh, my God. He's the guy. That's why we know. You want to name it. I mean, you know their parents. They're like, we're naming our kid a name for speed. Apollo Ono. That sounds fast. It's so good. We're going to put the skis on him by age two. Skates. And fucking shove him out there. Get him going. We're putting the skis on him by two. He's not going to take the skis. We're going to switch to skates. He's going to become a skater. It's science. See, this is how much I don't care. You know, it's funny. I think they put him on skates and they were like, Apollo. Oh, no. He went over the edge. And they were like, wait a second. What's his name? And they go, Apollo. They're like, Apollo Ono? And they go, yeah. You know what I would like to do? What I think we should do, guys? Why aren't we renting a house up in Mammoth? Get a sick chalet. You guys can go skiing. I'll stay back with the girls and the kids. Drink whiskey by the fire. Wait for you guys. To come back. And then we can have a fun night. Wait, you're getting hammered with our kids and wives? He said girls. Are you talking about the women we're married to? Yeah, the women you're married to. And my wife. The women. Well, I have daughters. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they could party too. Or they could just hang out and produce. Well, no, they're not old enough to drink, Adam. No, I'm saying, dude. I left you to babysit and now they're all hammered? First of all, your partner's there. So she's going to be watching after. After her own kids. Thank you very much. I will be in charge of my son as well. Well, maybe she wants to ski. There's no way Adam would watch our children. Maybe she wants to ski. Get that out of your head. Literally no way. Okay, well, fine. Then I'm in charge. But let it be known, I'm drinking whiskey by a fire. And I'm not getting blackened up. I'm not getting blackened up. By an open fire. There's fire now? There has to be fire. We're at a ski chalet. There's a fire. So the adults are skiing while you're getting hammered next to a bonfire with the children? That's right. All right. I'm in. And if your kids, by the way, if your kids don't know that fire's hot at this age, they deserve to be burnt. They deserve to be burnt. I love it. Because you know what? You know what? Trial by fire. You know what my son does? We have a fire pit in our backyard. You know what he does when it's on? Let me know. He walks up to it and goes, oh, hot, hot, hot, and doesn't touch it because he knows that it's hot, hot, hot. Sounds like a genius. Yeah. Dude, okay. We can do this. Adam, we just have to rent. I have a house. We can do this. But dude, it's too far, dude. It's way up in, it's like four states away. It's so far away. It's literally an hour and 10 minute flight from Burbank. It's so good. That's not bad. Oh, that's not bad. We could do that. Yeah. We could do that. We'll mark our calendars. We'll make it happen. You can ski. The skiing is just a half hour away. See, but I was told by Isaac that it's because I've had this idea before that we should all go up there. Is it large enough to house all of us? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Great. Okay. Let's do it. Punk rock. Getting radical. Now, is there a place to have a fire? There's a fireplace. I love that. Okay. Then, then I think it's fucking on baby. Okay. That would be really nice. Let's do it. Sure, dude. Good luck. Suddenly, you're rooting for some backup tight end you've never heard of because he needs 12 yards. What's his name? Who cares? Catch the ball. That's sports. That's underdog. Keep your million. Underdog. Unleash your dog. Trading involves risk, including total losses. Terms apply. 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coverage varies see mint mobile.com some people like working twice as hard just to stay right where they are and in ohio we really don't get it because to us owning a home in your 30s working in tech without the traffic and still being able to make it to your kids soccer game sounds pretty good in fact ohio is the second most affordable state to buy a home your move learn more at your move ohio.com now is it 100 degrees up there because down here in southern california it's been 85 degrees every damn day it's been 90 something up in la i live at the beach it's 85 degrees here it's ruthless it was a it was a hot saint patty's day i can't recall one that hot i was cooking a corned beef in the house i'm like i don't even this seems a little too hot let's talk saint patty's day please how crunk did you get on saint when i always think of blake when i think of saint patty's day that was his favorite holiday raised by an irishman raised by an irishman drinking beer from the time well i'm irish too but the o'donnell family raised he was raised by an irishman sure absolutely chicago irish sure absolutely as good as it gets sure so uh did you drink from the time you got up to the time you went to bed or sadly those those days are behind me oh those days are behind me we left just like 18 18 days ago on the cruise we we our days of molly malone's and tom bergens are are behind me man we used to put in time dude dude i have a i have a four-leaf clover at tom bergens oh it's so i i cherish i cherish those and what is that that is if you if you tom bergens is a is a pub an irish pub off fairfax uh just a few blocks from where biggie was shot and murdered okay that's a cool fact it says it says that on the door yeah biggie would go had just got done at the pub and it's and have you never been to tom bergens dude it's sick it's uh my brother had a 50th there oh yeah it's the best it's four-leaf clovers all over the wall and if you drink there enough they give you a four-leaf clover hey thanks you did it in one night hey you got it they didn't like they're supposed to be like a little ceremony i came in and they go hey look your name's up there and i look up where i usually sit and it says a divine and i was like shouldn't it be a bigger thing and they're like yeah we put it up there and i was like oh okay and this was years ago this was like a year ago and i was like oh my god this is like a 2008 or it was like the biggest honor of your life at that time yeah right of my life and they just were like oh yeah we we stuck another one up there and we stuck your name up there and i was like oh thanks thanks for fucking sick thanks tom can we do it again um but that bar was sick we used to get very drunk there yeah i miss those days there and molly malone's which molly malone's i guess burnt down but they rebuilt it which is pretty cool it's back uh molly malone's that's where you called that's where you called out of work drunk yeah which i liked yes i was a delivery driver at bj's and i you saying a morning after no day of day of yeah oh you were there and you called yeah i was supposed to do an afternoon shift and he just goes i'm too drunk hey yeah no i'm definitely sick i'm not at a bar no i was honest he was honest purely honest because i that's cool well i had told myself that i was just gonna you know have a couple in the morning with adam it's a religious holiday yeah i gotta show up come on on the strength of the o'donnell name that's what you told them he told himself i'm gonna just have a few in the morning with adam green one uh before i go do my job that is strictly driving yes so allegedly i know i noticed that uh that was a bad idea and i called my boss and i told him yo i was partaking in saint patrick's day shouldn't drive today and they're like okay you're you're off today but next time you come in for the rest of your life you're fired you're off today tomorrow did you get fired did you know i did get written up though i was written up which is crazy as an adult you're like that's a demerit yeah but that means nothing right like it doesn't doesn't stay on my record it doesn't follow me to my next job like come on it does follow you because when they call for a reference they're like who does he's he's an uh so you're saying i can't alterman call the bjs it was like yo we're about to give this guy a show no but if you were a driver at somewhere else they'd call and be like hey how was he i was a nice guy but he definitely called in once and was drunk before so if you tried to get a like a real driving job like if you like you wanted to drive for ups or something or fedex or fedex or you or you're a mailman or drive a fucking big rig baby yeah yeah and that's a real driving job that's a real driving i think they're all real yeah what the hell they're all real well that's more of a career i would say delivering pizza that's less of a career that's something that you're you're doing in between figuring your life out to me it's a real driving job okay i'm drunk now but then ups that's like people can make a living and they could raise a family off of that just as real yep just as real it's more real honors that's more real i think maybe i'm sorry yeah i have to stay i have to i'm standing on business okay you're saying the pay is better does that qualify what a real job is and a fake job is is the pay and are these real people it's not a fake job i'm just saying that's a job that you do while you're trying to figure out what you're doing with your life so if it's not a career are you a real person or should you have real dreams i hate you guys dude i hate you guys are you do you have real dreams or are you just real sad i just want to party for some people it's it is a it is like a a like what what are we calling that a gig a gig yeah a gig or like a job that you're doing in that you don't care if you get fired really a temporary job and then i would say a ups job or something like that where you can have a salary that you then could raise a family on or you know put a down payment on a house or whatever uh because i remember when my buddy uh john paul all what's up john paul i think all drivers matter when he got a a job working for ups it was a big deal yeah my uncle was a ups driver for a very long time i was hyped on that because you get that was a real job absolutely okay but i also and i rest my case i also like when you were delivering for bjs i think that was real i that wasn't my end goal i get what you're saying there like i i wasn't like setting out to be i don't think most people that's their end goal that's maybe for some people they just ended up doing it forever and then they're like okay but you know what i was happy i was happy i might have been at my were you real happy i might have been at my happiest being a pizza delivery driver it was a very it was a very wonderful job for me it's being a father but that's very cool for you yeah yeah you say fatherhood i say pizza delivery for i'm bringing a new pizza into the world every day no no let's let's get you you deliver babies i deliver pizza i'm a pizza daddy do you honestly think that that was your happiest uh-oh in your life adam and adam with let's get real as real as ups drivers go well okay here's the thing during that time of my life i had much less responsibility so maybe that's what i'm looking fondly back on but with that said now as i place myself back behind the wheel as a bj's delivery driver there were many times when i was absolutely furious with where i was in life i was yes yes very pissed i remember you being a very angry person back then yeah it was it was frustrating because but i i did have a bigger dream that i wanted to accomplish and also just being in traffic and having a ticking time clock it it was it was very classic ticking time clock ticking time clock oh i would say my disaster my guy happiest time in my life besides like having kids which is in fatherhood that is the greatest but you sure after you season one of workaholics when we accomplished season one and before and even before it was out that summer that summer where we were like picked up to write season two but we had like six weeks and all we did was party and have a great time and know that we're coming back and gonna write the show and then the show started to come out as as that summer was happening i was like this is the greatest time of my life that's what i look back at and go oh it didn't get better than that when we partied when we wrapped season one and we partied for legitimately two to three weeks straight we're like every day just different groups of people were coming in from out of town to visit we were hosting them we just had a case of you said kissing the ring kissing the ring what'd you say who was kissing i didn't say that i was just i was kidding kissing the ring dude we had a case of champagne and it was just like it was just anytime one ran out we pop another one we cut it off with the katana into the pool and it was just it was very euphoric there was a lot of glass in that pool that was the greatest what is the greatest time dude january 6th after fatherhood marriage uh after that obviously uh obviously obviously obviously january 6th was a fun run yeah that was a good time okay i knew because it was just it was just just freedom yeah it was real freedom it's finally taking the taking the house back taking the people's house back honestly i just felt american for the first time which is which sounds weird because i've been american since i was born but i felt reborn that day absolutely um and every day since uh i don't know happiest time i you know what i here's one thing that i will say and this kind of please do this kind of goes back to almost exactly blake land here which is when back when the song uh listen to the music comes on you know that song i think it's the doobie brothers doobie brothers no no yeah it's like whoa listen to the music oh yeah sure doobie brothers i was an i was an assistant on bones i was i was david borianis not a real job i was fucking david borianis not a real job sure not i was not a real job of course i was barely a real human yeah um but i had i was working on the fox lot i'm in the business i have a minivan so i'm like driving in to go get lunch that's part of my job i'm driving to go get lunch that song comes on i'm cruising down avenue of the stars in century city i blast that song and i'm like you made it yep you made it you did it bud you're getting paid to drive around la get people lunch go back in break stories type shit down listen to these people who like are doing what you want to do you've made it you're there i remember telling my sister that when she would get so mad that i'd be like hey can you go get his coffee bean and she's like because my sister was a pa on workaholics yeah a production assistant yeah and and uh you say she did great yeah okay great yeah she did she did do great but she would like to me she was like can you just get coffee bean there's a coffee bean right down the street or okay there's a starbucks right down the street coffee bean is like two miles away and i'm like britney your whole job is just to go get the coffee bean put on music take your time go to the coffee bean and she's like this job sucks and i'm like put on the doobie brothers song and just cruise dude dude every time it comes on i'm instantly transported back to that exact moment where i was just like this is it i'm wearing sunglasses that have like a wooden frame i remember you wearing those sunglasses and like and a polo that had like oh you were wearing those two little x's right here and i i'm i'm gonna come and i'm wearing rainbow flip-flops and i'm cruising i remember somehow derz got us on the fox lot this job i know i remember we were just like on the fox lot and just being there we're like this is the fucking coolest crazy when i shot a modern family we shot it on the fox lot and at lunchtime i would just like walk around yeah because it's the fucking coolest being on those old movie studio lots i thought you were gonna i thought you said you kept on people you've been there before i've actually been here before it sucks that they're all closing it really is really cool i was actually here one time i've been here once my buddy uh was an assistant production assistant on bones so yeah david borianis heard of him he was fucking he was fucking heard of him oh my god but yeah i mean large head so whatever as far as like happiest times looking back adulthood like to kind of just steal from blazer i do remember being like this is it yeah you're you are living and getting paid to just be in the business now and also i'll say like the late night punch-ups we would do on workaholics yeah we're like there was nothing else happening in the universe yeah where i'd rather be yeah i'd rather just be right here especially those first couple seasons those first like two seasons when when we were still in burbank and and we were writing downstairs and upstairs we were writing downstairs and upstairs we were writing downstairs was the office set we would go up there at night and and just like you're kicking it on the set and you smoke weed and stuff oh uh the fucking best dude those are good and also like when our kids are born and also that but uh but really for sure both of my kids three of them three of them yeah but really that summer somebody help me hey guys this segment of take backs apologies and epic slams are brought to you by simple mills and guys i'm sorry i was so cranky this episode i had a big meal before and it really dragged me down oh no does your stomach hurt so you're gonna act like a baby of course he is okay we apologize for making fun of you about that yeah come on don't kick a man while he's down you know you can help prevent this in the future have a light snack like simple mills almond flour crackers or pop them they're so tasty and healthy you can't go wrong blazer yeah he's right blake you gotta take your epic snack seriously so you can keep up with the show yeah you guys are right simple mills is the ultimate epic snack especially before a podcasting session find simple mills at your grocery store is it already that time it is take backs no i think all jobs are real what else dude it's a real job i'm not saying it's not a real job i'm not saying it's not a real job i'm just saying it's not a it's not a most people wouldn't consider that a career adam and we know you're not most people bro we know you're cut from a different different i'm just saying i'm just saying of course of course of course of course but um shout out to all all drivers all drivers matter all drives matter um you were one of those uh like all lives matter guys that's why you keep saying that yeah okay yeah i got i painted a blue line across my uh my car yeah but there's doesn't even see color you don't matter if you're purple or polka dot yellow white black white polka dot oh netflix netflix dig in the crates for uh the og reference for that but shout out to all old white guys who say that who still say i never see color black white purple hey man i i feel like my dad would say that he's like polka dot pink i don't care and he really doesn't but he still says that i'm like yeah no one's polka dot but they never say brown right yeah they're like black white polka dot brown polka dot pink did i say brown peach maybe striped plaid peach huh uh hey well slightly tanned uh i'll give a special elevated shout out to dennis for getting along dude that's fucking cool dude elevated shout out that's that's a new thing dude hell yes brother yeah this tube fucking sucked shout out to whoever gave him the lung obviously this person asked do we know we don't know and we're gonna write a letter my mom was like i'm ready to write it right now and i'm like let's let's wait a month let's let everything settle i don't know if they want to get this letter as they're like planning their funeral or whatever so let's give it a month or so and then we can write a letter saying how much it's helping dad right even though he was a murderer who was put to death yeah yeah from tech in texas i mean who knows we don't know what what it was but uh deep sea diver hopefully thank you cedar cyanide hospital they do fucking magic there dude yeah that's it's crazy being in the icu with lung and heart transplants and just like seeing like shit's going down like this uh this guy two two rooms down from my dad he died and then they brought him back to life and now he's just to say they fucking i mean he's not doing fine he's not doing great but like they were able to like resuscitate him which is fucking pretty unreal so shout out to cedars cyanide hospital that's a real job right there yeah god damn god damn now that's a real job i'll say that now if you're delivering food what if i'm the guy delivering the lung on ice oh yeah that's a real that's a real that i'm sure you have benefits it's a real job but i but i think most people are are in agreement that even the people that are doing the gigs the gig work uh-huh they'd prefer to do it in the cedars cyanide hospital to have a steady job with maybe benefits i'm sure they would or maybe they like living by the seat of their pants they like the freedom they got auditions they want to go to maybe maybe if those still existed they like listening to the doobie brothers smoking doobies ups ain't letting you blast the doobie brothers yeah they are hey i want a job i can call in drunk too they got big brother watching now fuck that shit do they have cameras watching you and then i bet they do i think amazon is like you're off route get the fuck back on route and they're like i just wanted to get a diet coke that's why i'm wearing these is to keep you guys oh i bet that's exactly i bet they are tracking your every move dude i would hope so i hope they track everybody's every bowel or otherwise they're not they're not tracking the garbage men down here at the beach i'll say that these garbage men look like okay here's a shout out like they're still having a good time i'm i'm big in the surveillance state i want everybody watched at all times oh okay not me at all okay i think that's fucking terrifying hey let's pick that up next week because this is on this is important big shout out dennis d that shit's important i hope his voice doesn't change is he like hey guys it sounds just like that okay perfect that shit's important perfect are completely irrational no no no no no not me yes yes yes absolutely you i'm not checking my pick every five minutes uh checks it immediately and the group chat forget about it oh man they're getting cooked because once you got something on the line you become a complete lunatic and suddenly you're rooting for some freaking backup tight end you've never heard of because this dude needs 12 yards what's his name i have no idea just catch the damn ball then the qb throws a pick and you change seats because clearly you were the problem no that actually does work no it doesn't that's why i love having someone on the line it turns all of us into complete lunatics that's sports say it with me guys that's sports every catch every yard every ridiculous second until the final whistle that's what underdog gets download underdog to play keep your million start with one million dollars and make it through all 20 picks and walk away with whatever's left in bonus funds so get in there and try to keep your million underdog unleash your dog trading involves risk including total loss on positions content is promotional and not a recommendation to trade terms apply promotion issued by affiliate download underdog to play keep your million start with one million dollars make it through all 20 picks and walk away with whatever's left in bonus funds when one person serves the whole 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