Ep 289: This Cruise Was Important Part 1

This is an iHeart podcast, Guaranteed Human. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important. Today on This is Important, they took my kidney and blew me. I was hard for 11 days. Put your dick away, you're on the rest. Let's go! Look at this. See, I love it! This is beautiful. Thank you so much for being here. He's amazed. I know you said that kind of sarcastically, the way you just said that, but that's just how you sound. We do actually want to thank you for being here, my god. We're real happy you're here. Why are you saying it like that? I don't know what you're talking about. I know that's just how he sounds, but we are actually really happy that you're here. It's so cool, I have love for all of you. I don't know why you're sounding like that. We're very happy that you guys are here. I made some lifelong friends, I feel. Absolutely. Oh, this cruise. Oh, shit, are we going to have a reunion later? Like in a year? Later? Maybe two years? Or maybe in a break. Am I tonight? Should we have a reunion later at the bar? Okay. Yeah, they spinnaker lounge, perhaps? I walked around the ship a little bit when everyone was gone. I can just, you know, check out the ship. This is a beautiful ship. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. There's lots of places to drink. I'm pleasantly surprised. I thought we were going to be on a total shit pile of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And why did you think that? Well, because Isaac put this together. There you go, there you go. Yes. That checks out. Isaac's like, I don't know, I think it's going to be rad. I don't know. Have you looked into it at all? Oh, shit. No, it's going to be a boat. It's a boat for sure. Okay. Is it a ship or a boat? Isn't that the same thing, fuck? Hey, by the way, shout out to all of us for surviving Mexico! Yeah! Dude! Yeah, Blake wants to get on like you're some serious real quick. I do want to get better for a second. He wants to talk to the first time today. Right up top. He's got words. Get polycharged real quick. No, but I mean, my mom and my dad were texting me. They're like, just be careful. And I'm like, shut up! I'm fucked up! Yeah. Yeah. My parents are cool of you to not invite your parents. I invite mine. So I guess they'll love them more. But what's up, mom and dad? Yeah. That is true. Yep. And my parents were the exact opposite. I was like, I don't know. Maybe we don't go off the ship if it's if they're saying to shelter in place. And my mom's like, it'll be fine. Oh, you did. Damn. Your mom's like, I'm already on the beach blackout. Yeah. Right. She did have like straps of bullets across her chest. Yeah. She was locked and loaded. Yeah. It was pretty cool. She was like barbed wire. I was thinking like, I mean, you know, God forbid, God forbid. But I was like, that would we could easily walk into Netflix and be like, hey, we got a sequel to Game Overman. Yeah. And they're like, we need something more grounded. We're like, Adam died. Yeah. It's real. He's dead. I'm dead. And this is my hologram. And I'm willing to star AI style. Yeah. That's Sean Aston. Yeah. It's been Sean Aston for the last two days. I told you guys that I had an Uber driver one time that was like, man, you were an actor, huh? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm an actor. And he's like, man, you've been acting for a long time. Damn. That's a cool sounding white lady. Yeah. It's a white woman. How did you not ask him where his accent was from? Yeah. The whole white woman. And this whole white woman was like, you've been acting for a long time. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I mean, kind of a long time now, I guess. And he was like, since you were a kid, and I'm like, well, it certainly feels like it. Yeah. And then he was like, man, I loved you in goonies. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You thought I was Sean Aston, dude? You just got a nod. You guys like 60 years old. You just got a nod and then say something super racist before you get out. Oh. So he's like, the goonies guy. She's sorry. She, the old white lady is like, the goonies guy said the thing I'm not going to say right now. And then what would you, what would be a thing? That's the fun about being live in the podcast. You guys can think of whatever you want it to be. It's really a choose your own adventure. It's a gift. To choose your own adventure podcast. That's different. That's different. That's different. And not exciting. I mean, I don't want to get into luggage talks. Oh, yeah. You got to be boy, to be boy. It just seems like a perfect opportunity. Was anybody, did anybody arrive here inside luggage? Yeah. Was anybody smuggled illegally or legally? Just asked him. Okay. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. This guy. I think he's joking. Remember how Durs during Doodly Wet Game said my arch nemesis is wind? You're seeing it in real time. Yes. This shit fucks me up, man. With a little pinch of post item. The people at home that are accidentally watching us on Netflix are so confused right now. They're like, this is a podcast. We're lost at sea. The fuck is happening with this guy's hair. We're handed. We're full together. I'm sorry. And I should have glued on my wig a little better because I feel like it's about to pop off this bitch. Pop, pop, pop off. Someone's pop off. We, ooh. It's been fun to get to know everybody on this shit. I feel like I've met individually everyone on this ship at this point. And there was a, I wonder if they're around here. There is a couple of two beautiful young ladies that want to fuck Blake in the ass. There's a bagel. Yeah, I don't know if you've ran into that. Probably me. But they, they came up to, to Blake. By the way, didn't mention it to me. But they go, hey, just so you know, I'm willing, I, we brought a strap on. Yes. And I, and this is, and Blake, you told me that do you want to continue the story? Well, basically, well, you know, she was, she was intoxicated. Okay. But here? Yeah. But she had. On this ship, praise me. Yeah. Surprisingly. And she had mentioned that she said she would fuck me better than I've ever been fucked before. And I said, the bar is low because I've never been fucked before. Right, right, right, right. Allegedly. No, no, no, you can cash that check. You could take that right to the bank. I don't know, sperm bank. I just want to park right to the sperm bank. Hey, look, it's here. Hey, hold on, say, oh my god, one of the blackouts himself. Somebody at the blackout set were Attiba and Otto were blackout. Dude, that was classic. What a zombie this guy was. Oh, no, no, no. What? He can't, he can't, he can't put together a fucking sentence. He tried to say something and no words came out. Look at this, dude. Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, thank you. Peace. Security, security, please. Give him. Dear God. Get him. Okay. Okay, have your moment. Order trash. Freaking sea. You're off. You're off the path. Get the hell off, stay. We're live. He's taking photos. That's what he's good for. He's not taking photos. He's harassing me. He's been doing it the whole ship. He fucked me. Yeah. Oh. I lied. It wasn't allegedly. That's why I said allegedly. That's exactly why I said allegedly. I'm not going to let her fuck me in the ass on the second day. Yeah. Oh. I have to see her again. If it's happening, it's Dave. Today's day three. Okay, it's tonight. Yeah, it's tonight. Fuck. The clock is ticking. Damn. I better walk my ass. It's tonight. Yeah. I mean, it was pretty cool that she gave me her business card. And I, um, I checked it out. And, uh, there's a QR code. Did you check out the QR code? No, I didn't. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. Uh, there's men with, uh, their dicks and cages. That could have been you, Blake. That could have been you. What happens after you place your dick in the cage, then, then where do we go with that? Honestly, I don't know. Oh, dude. What if it's like a shark tank and, like, girls are just, like, kind of, kind of floating up to it, trying to get to it. And you, like, sort of chumped the water with it a little bit. I don't know how you would do that. How do you chump water? Honestly, if I, if I told Chloe, you come, you don't chump. If I told Chloe that that's what happens to me on the cruise, I don't think she would consider that cheating. She was like, you were assaulted. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the, like, get out of jail free card? Yeah. It's like, honey, I was, uh, my dick was in a cage. Yeah, they took my kidney and blew me. Yeah. It's in a cage where on international waters, what's the problem here? What's the problem? Uh, shark fucked me. You're telling me this is grounds for divorce. You're taking my child? [screeching] Wow. Let the public decide. That's a bummer. [laughter] I like the people that committed to watching this entire podcast in the hot tub. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like all of you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What's my like, is this a hot tub? Yeah. Watching from the hot tub is so like MTV. It's fucking cool. Yeah. It's MTV Spring Break. I wish, I wish the homie Simon Rex was here. Yeah. Yeah. I wish we were we's in the juice. Oh, yeah. The police shore was here. Who else, who else, who else, who else, who else? Loders, probably given us the news, right? I'm talking about half. Oh, God. Dude, it's really hard, actually. Hey, and I hate to go there, but I am going to go there. Oh, dude, I am going to go there, because I'm just kind of an nasty dude like that. How's everybody's shits going on the cruise? Not good, right? Not good? Here's the deal. I've shit my whole life since I came out of mom as well. Wow. I've been shitting. I think I had a shit I've never had before. Netflix, we're getting this, we're getting this. And he just smashed the camera. His camera just fell apart after hearing. No, I legit, like, it just felt different than anything I've ever had. I kind of either want to move on or hear more. The way you're not describing it at all. Well, it like started fast, and then it slowed down. And then that kind of like, what's like, it's like when you get to TCP/Y yogurt, and you don't know, you've never been on this machine before. So you crank it too much, you slow it down. And then, but then it kind of starts to run out of yogurt, and it makes the-- Right, right, right, right. So you lost me until that explanation. And now I get it. Yeah, I understand exactly what you're talking about. It was just like freestyle. It was like I was playing like Duky Jazz or something. Yeah. He's a Scott Man. Oh, hey, these pop pop videos. These pop pop videos. Thank you, my god, for the point of the TII at C, I'll take them. I was hoping you bros would bond with me on that shit talk, but I guess not. Yeah, you know, there's just like 2,000 of our closest friends here, and we all know if I had fully lived you. It's all not going great for us because we've been aggressively drinking for three days straight. But yeah. And only eating shrimp. That's all you've been eating. I've been having them bring me fistfuls of shrimp. We have like a concierge service in our room, which is very nice. And I haven't used it once. I just keep going, god, damn, I'm starving. They're like, well, you could call down for food. But by the time I realize I'm hungry, I'm like, I need it now. Yeah. We're winning. I haven't. Somebody help me. Yeah, I have not used the-- what, how do you say it? Concierge? Yes. Wow. I don't know that I've heard that word spoken aloud before. Huh. Concierge. What is a concierge job exactly? What? So I feel like we met him. And then I was like, what they do is you go to them with a question, and what they do is they concierge the situation. Oh, shit. What is even the root of that word? Concierge. It's got to be French. It almost seems like it. It has to be French. But we are in international waters. That is true. So maybe it's a sea term. That could be. Has anyone stayed up the entire time so far? Is anyone on no hours of sleep? Who's on next to no hours of sleep? Who are the real soldiers? OK, secure to get one guy. Get him, please. Yeah, I feel like I would be a cop if I was like, what was the-- Rules were-- people do a ton of drugs in Mexico and then get back on the boat, or-- Yeah, did you guys charge pretty hard? Yeah, you are sounding like a cop. So if you were to smuggle drugs around in the street, exactly how would you do it in? What rumor you stay now? Was anybody with a prostitute or anything like that? Did anybody get killed anyone? No, just checking? OK, well, that's fair enough. Did anyone have tacos? Whoa. OK, OK. So you had tacos? Did anyone have cocaine snorted off their shoulder? Oh. That's kind of-- That's kind of what you're doing. I thought this ship partied. What the hell, dude? Come on. It's night three. Are people winding down or winding up? I hope we're winding up. You know what really bummed me out is when I found out that we have to disembark the ship at 8 AM. Holy shit. They just slowly start to sink the ship. And if you're in your cabin, [INAUDIBLE] Points, I guess. Sure. You want to give them? [INAUDIBLE] Give me points for that. I like that. Wait, Isaac, why didn't you tell me that? We have to leave at 8 AM. Well, I don't want to be a downer. Everyone's just going to stay up until you disembark, right? Yeah. This is-- this is only-- we still have a whole other day. I knew that. I knew that. You thought we were leaving tomorrow? I asked the concierger. I just called him homey. You know what? You just like homey. Well, his name was Jerry. So that's what you thought the concierger. Concierger. OK, OK, OK, I'll give you one. Yes, points. [APPLAUSE] I'm racking those points. You're killing it, Tana. How truly terrified was everybody night one? My god. Dude, wait, are you saying night one in Tampa? Because that was fucking terrifying. Yeah, from Tampa Wild. Tampa is wild. But you were talking about night one. I was talking about night one on the ship, but I was like, my god, I knew it was scary when I was asking the security guards. I'm like, it's normally like this. And they're like, no, it isn't. Yeah, hang on, I'm texting my wife. No, it isn't. I've been on a hundred of these. And this is one of the worst. And then the next day, I asked the same guy. And he goes, no, it wasn't that bad. I'm like, you son of a bitch. You fucking liar. You said it was really bad last night when you were scared. And now that you've aged it out alive, you're like, it was fun. Wasn't a big deal at all. It was, Shady. We had to cancel the podcast night one because it was so windy. And then it's been very pleasant. And then we start the podcast, and my wig is blowing off. You need a hat? And my wig fell off. I'm good. It looks kind of cool, right? I look like Renegade, Lorenzo Alamos sort of. I'm watching more workaholics. They're showing it on the TVs in New York Avenue. So you guys, yeah, that's kind of cool. I've watched, hey, turns out that's a pretty funny show. He's the best. I like that show. Yeah, I was-- Why do I feel like people are in their rooms watching that, and not here watching this? There are some people that are like, it's just a little better. I just feel better. I drank with that guy at the casino for about 11 hours the other night. I'm good. Yeah, I am good. I feel bad for everyone I was gambling with. I feel like I was-- What was that movie? The Cooler? Was it with a willing-- Yes, willing to make things? Yeah, where he just shows up at the casino table, and no one makes any money. Yeah. That was me. Anyone I was around, they're like, oh, cool. Adam sit next to me, 50 minutes later, they're like, get the fuck away from me. Yeah. You've ruined everything. Oh, hell yeah, Adam. Yo, get the fuck out. I lost $500 in like 11 minutes. What the hell? Yeah, that's bad. What's your game? It was relayed. And then I played Blackjack, and I started to win. So I see the six-man people, the people that put on the cruise just shaking their heads. No, you love the casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you love the casino, go to the casino. You love it. Losing money is kind of more fun than making it. It's actually more fun to be on the casino. Because it's like, uh, everyone gets your attention. Well, what was me? I hosted the Weezer Cruise, maybe on this cruise ship. I don't know. Hang on, let's see here. 2000. This is it. Good. In 2012, and they gave me a microphone, and they were just like, yeah, whenever you want to talk into the mic, just fire it up, and you can talk to the entire cabin, and I'm like, awesome. They never met you. It's going great for the first two hours. I'll just fire it up. Being like, come on down to this bar, we're having a great time. And then they gave me some chips to go to the casino, and then I go to the casino. And I'm just bad at gambling. I don't know what to do. I'm like, well, OK, 19 Blackjack hit me. And so I suck. And then, uh, and then I lose all my money. And then I turn on the microphone. And I'm like, don't come to the casino. Wherever you do, don't come to the casino. And they were like, can we see that microphone real quick? No, real quick. Was that your ass, old friend? That's you farting into the mic before you give it back. Yeah, right here. That's kind of genius, because I'm not like-- I don't even get the mic anymore, dude. Wait, wait, hold on. All right, keep it. Fuck, keep it. This is your new bid. This is your galagher routine. Yeah. Fuck having some watermelons to smash. You have a-- There it is. There's a lot of power there, dude. It's kind of cool. It works for me. If you guys want to try, put the mic to your asshole. No, I don't even have to fart, actually. Come on. There it is. Give me one. Can you give me a double bubble? You'll see. Here we go, ready? Yeah. [BELL RINGING] That was a good one. How are you going to do me like that? OK, OK, give me a double bubble. No, I don't trust you. Come on, I-- I lost your trust. That's why I lost it. Give it to him. Give it to him, Blake. No, dude. I'll give me a double bubble. No. [BELL RINGING] That was actually a beat. Very good. That was a beat right there. Ders, can you freestyle real quick? Yeah. [BELL RINGING] The dukey is feeling loosely down my leg. [BELL RINGING] Right said Fred I like that. So my sister has a new boyfriend and he's on this cruise with my sister Here we go. Yeah Chris Chris For sure didn't know a lot about our show and doesn't really know about it. It's okay. Yeah, it's okay Hey, he's a nice guy. He's an educator about the podcast really and I he's in shock. He has to be right Imagine just entering this world to me like what the fuck why what's so bad? Yeah One dude welcome to the family you're one of us family Guys, I might just be up on the top deck doing that the rest of this cruise Wish you wouldn't wish you wouldn't that feels right Has anyone had the pleasure of running into penny or dentist divine on this People they're like around yeah, they're they're having an absolute blast and I I could tell by how many people come up to me and go Your mom was so drunk. Oh, I'm like, hey I'm I'm her off offsprings So the tree break. Yeah, that's up. No, that's up takes one to be a son of one Now we're a slurry family. That's where that's where what we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah We slur our words your name when you got to to America from where I go under some shit I was slurry and they were like let's change it to divine divine. We go under the radar. No, no, no You know, we we looked up like our lineage of our names divine and if it's either you we were like a Royal family the divine family, okay, or people that think they're hot shit right your boobs are huge and they're actually not their pieces of shit And it's like a way that people for people to make fun of you. They're like oh this guy thinks he's divine Yes, I was gonna say hypocritical, but that is not the word. I was looking Guys, I'm struggling Just kidding. I'm sharp as a tack. Isaac. I need a beer man Beer man. Beer a soul. Beer man. Beer us As who got Isaac's nipples on their key card. That's pretty fun Wow No, I was pretty fun thing. I requested his pink asshole, but that's where he drew the line He almost didn't put his nipples on that his 12 year old son was like dad. What are you doing? Don't do that. He's like it's for work Yeah He just walked in on him doing it solo in the bathroom taking photos taking new Top-list photos of himself in the bathroom sit down son. We need to talk. There's ways to make father in the world Yeah, this is what your father does for work. He's crying. Well, don't you have other clients? No, they all fired me Because I spend all of my time with these three idiots. Goodbye used to be four. RIP Kyle. Oh He's dead to us We do miss him though. We do miss him. Yeah, which by the way I played the pickleball tournament and me and TK. We did win that final game We did take the championship by like a lot No, it was tight. Oh shit. What in the Kazoo male just got dropped on me. Oh my god. Hey Blake. It's the right size Holy moly. Holy moly. Now wait. How do I how do I drink it? I think you know how but can I just Say something real quick. What's weird is that that's like the size of a child What well now you fucked up now I'm Hey, and I don't think it's funny at all and and actually surprise surprise I rerouted us to Epstein Island James Actually, it could also be the size of a fully grown little little man with a huge call Yeah, that's huge. That's huge. You're saying it's Bobby Lee Okay Yeah, where is he's not here to weirdly defend himself guys. So give him a break all right I'm gonna take a sip and see if it tastes any different whoever said that's gonna get his asshole in the mouth buttery and salty tasting actually I think you got a Okay, all right It exploded on my face. Yeah, that's how that works And it made me just my pants. Okay Netflix is immediately gonna revoke their contract with us They're like, you know, we take it back. Hit him with the dinner. I can't go back to the tube. Hey, it's a it's a Weirdly. Hulu is like come on. Come on. Oh, there's a freak. Yeah, you know Hulu's nasty. Come on. Think about them peacocks. Oh shit Okay, let's rank freaky streamer to Lee's freaky streamer Fubo. Yeah Fubo is to be getting fucking nasty. Oh, to be to be to be to be into one of those cool like Like multi-relationships that I don't even know how to describe all the amorous. There it is. There it is Hey Adam, he's like one big good How'd you have to be better? Yeah, I knew a big word How'd you add that on the tip of your tongue like that? I don't know Let's what's on the tip of your tongue. I'll show you what's on the tip of my tongue. Okay And was that rinsed before you put a beer in there? You know as soon as I took a drink I'm like I did not rinse it out. So I might wait, okay So you bought that I did buy that okay See I here's what the whole audience thought and what I also thought was Isaac bought it as a prank to pull on you but you saw this What Durs explain as a little boy That's your Boy's hard cop you're very proud in the in the store and you're like I got to have it no That's not exactly how it went. It was more that he couldn't speak Durs and he's like Blake. I think this has your name on it. And I was like, yeah, my boy knows me That's right contrary to last night's what was it called doodly wood game? Did anybody go to the doodly wood game? Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, that was a good time. I didn't know the rules at all I still am struggling with those rules, but that was fun. This is what I discovered afterwards Nobody had to go backstage She could have just asked the questions and one of us could have written it down And then the other one would have just been like Okay, I think you said this Shut up. Why don't we go backstage? Well, because then you could tell how long they're writing and you could sort of see what they're writing Yeah, there's reasons for shit. You don't need more reasons. Durs, you know It's a real game like the newlywed game. It's a format that's been proven over time. It's a super successful game No See, this is why Durs had trouble in school is because a teacher would do anything and he'd be like nah, uh Hey, you could take this Shakespeare and fuck his suck it. Yeah, this You was a lot of Shakespeare in your high school didn't everyone have Shakespeare dude I feel like my high school they knew what they were getting into they're like hmm. You're an RL Stein You guys didn't have no you guys didn't read Romeo and Juliet We absolutely then you got to watch the movie where she was like naked and a child It was stuck in some Blake shit stop. Let's not get on the crusade. That's what I but I'm not even joking They showed us a movie that had like an underage actress Neckon oh, and that's Blake shit for sure And weirdly I watch it. I was like this is some Blake shit and I hadn't even met Putting it all together now on the Norwegian Wait, so wait wait, yeah, was that Kate Winslet? No, that's Titanic, bro Before Leo and Juliet, it's before Leo and Claire Dane. There was another movie It existed before Yes, the movie with early eight soundtrack that we all had We know Durs this was like a 80s joint and it was like Soft lighting naked children. Oh, what the hell the it is this wild This is a wild time My assistant Michelle she met a woman who said that she had no idea what this podcast is or who we are Right, but she goes on every six-man cruise and she is here and She has to be shook. Yeah, that Blake brought out this little statue of this naked little person You lose and drank from his dick and I'm very sorry for that woman We would like to buy you a drink under $15. There was also one that was just like just a cock Yeah, but I saw that after that I bought that and I'm like am I really gonna spend like $65 on cock mugs right? Yeah, while I'm in Mexico Wait, hang on, I have a serious question. Please, oh God, hit us with it. - The scenarios that you have a son, your son is in a horrible accident. - Okay. - Maybe it's a cement truck situation. - Sure. - Dick, severed, gone. - Yes, that's not what happened. - That's not what happened. - There's no way it couldn't happen is what the doctor said, yeah. And he needs a transplant. - Okay. - But they can't transplant children's genitals. They only have adult genitals and they say we can give him some dead man's dick. - Goose butthole. - You sign 'em up, right? - You sign 'em up. - And then he's pretty cool, right? He just walks around fifth grade like. - What up? - Yeah. I may be in like fifth grade. - He sounds like the white lady. - Yeah, that's right. - He sounds like it. - Yeah, what's up? - Your cat driver. - I'm a legend. - Yeah, but then does that mean that he's gonna have erectile dysfunction in like the ninth grade? - Oh yeah. - No, it's actually, it's the opposite. - What causes erectile dysfunction? Does the penis itself just run out of it energy eventually? - I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know why you're asking that. - Yeah, dude, explain to us erectile dysfunction. - I don't know. I'm not getting older. It doesn't happen constantly. - Yeah. - If the human, is the human penis like a battery and it just starts to drain? - Yeah. - It's more like a social battery. - I'm not talking about a rhino's penis because rhino penises are hard all the time. That's why you have those pills in the gas station. - Rhino 5,000, we all know 'em, we all love 'em, is there it? - And by the way, if you're looking, if you have a erectile dysfunction, please visit hymns.com. - Right. - And type in code, "This is important 20 for 20% off." (bell dinging) (laughing) - I got a perfection. - I'll take a hymns just to jerk off, I ain't even-- (laughing) - Oh, money bags over here. - What's up mom, how are you? (laughing) - Is that how it works though? You take it, 'cause remember when the pills came out, it was like, if you take it, you have a boner for just a day and a half, sure. But now what is this? - But now when the pills come out, was it the 90s? - In the 90s. - We were children, you were an adult man. - Yeah. - So we don't remember. - I don't know. - Baits are baits. - I feel like they've gotten more nuanced. Where it's just like, you get the boner when you can take it before dinner, the dinner date, and then it'll serve you later as opposed to when you take it, it's happening. That was Viagra. - Huh. - This is Viagra. - Well, I remember taking, I took one of those gas station pills. - I love that there's also just a ton of people like holding their tongues, like they know the answer. - Sure, but they're like, they're holding on to another wife or girlfriend, they're like, honestly, I don't know. - I don't even know. - Real quick, my man in the Borat, where you stand up, you look freezing. And I just want everyone to see this, so that it was worth it, 'cause you're like, it's super cold. - I'm looking good, dude. - For sure. - Dear God. - Ty butthole. - Wow, right. - Hey, Atiba, you're facing the wrong way. Turn around, get my man. Still facing the wrong way. Atiba. - Atiba. - Atiba. - Atiba. - Atiba. - Your social matter, there it is. There it is. - I love that, that was good on you. - I remember when those gas station pills first dropped, and that was dangerous, I remember, 'cause I'm not, if I have more than two drinks, my dick is very sleepy. - Right, right. - He's a sweepy pp. - Okay. - And so, I got a girlfriend that was coming into town, and I was like, she was out of town. I'm like, oh, look at this rhino, 5,000. And so, I took one, it just says to take one, so I'm like, okay, and I took one. - Oh, yeah. - It was so off-putting that it was like, I couldn't think of anything else. My eyes were yellow. - I remember. - You remember that? - Yeah, we went to Chipotle with me. They're like, sir, your dick is in the beans? - Yes. - I kept some fuck in the guacamole. - Sorry. - Holy guacamole? - Actually, damn, I should have done that in Cosumeel. - Yeah, hate up Chipotle in Mexico. - No, fucked guacamole. - Oh, yeah, it's gonna be that kind of part of it. - We actually didn't go to a Mexican restaurant in Cosumeel. We went to an Italian eatery. - Oh, yeah. - You're gonna wanna, dude. My sister's boyfriend is Mexican, he knows the spot. And he was like, I'm gonna take you to the spot. And it was delicious. - The cause of diarrhea. - But by the way, the name was hilarious. It was Guitos, which sounds racist. - Yeah, that is, that is. - But it's been around since the '70s. If you're back in Cosumeel, next time you're on a six-man cruise, you gotta Guitos, it was very, very tasty. - Diarrhea. - But my mom couldn't wrap her head around that we were at an Italian eatery halfway through the meal. From the beginning of the meal, through halfway through the meal, she's like, wait, this isn't a Mexican restaurant. - And I'm like, mom, you're eating pasta. - She's like, lady in the trams, so fucking pasta, it'll be, yeah. - What did you order? What was your, what was your play? - I got a pizza. - Jesus Christ. - Jesus Christ. - Jesus. - So it wasn't even, it wasn't even like a play, like a hybrid. It wasn't like. - Play your hair's unbelievable right now. - So sorry. - Just let it ride, go to, back to your point, back to your point. It just, I just had to say that. - Well, I was hoping it would be kind of like, remember when we like, it did the episode where we go to a, don't remember any of it. - And we had like the Jamaican jerk lasagna. - Yes, I remember that. - I remember that. - I was hoping maybe you had like some kind of enchiladas fused with lasagna. - I'm not saying that that would be too bad. - But no, I mean Mexican folks, they like, you know, to eat, eat all sort of delicacies, they don't only want to eat tacos all the fucking time. - Wait, are you speaking for the Mexican people right now? - No, no, no, no, no, I was just gonna say, I like when he says Mexican folks. - Yeah, Mexican folks say Mexican folks like it. - Mexican folks like me. - I mean, right, do people when they come, if they're from a foreign land and they come to America, do they only want to eat cheeseburgers and hot dogs? - When they come to America? - They go straight to Costco and get a hot dog. - Yeah. - They have to. (laughing) You miss that one? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you think Cisco's been on this cruise? No doubt, right? - Yeah, I feel like Cisco's on the cruise circuit, for sure. - Yeah. - God damn it. - I'm sorry you guys were here to see us and not Cisco. - Yeah. - That's on us. - How cool would it be? That would have been a sick reveal if we were like, actually, he's here! - We'll chop 'em into our night. - And that would have been worth the $2,500. It would have been to book him on this cruise. - What do you suppose Cisco's real name is? - Jeff. - Jeff. - Do you think it's his last name? Jeff Cisco? - No, I think Cisco. - Huh? - Cisco isn't that what you like oil up something with? - That's Cisco. - Cisco. - That's Crisco. - Oh, Crisco. - Oh, Crisco. - Let's go. (audience cheering) - And now, as much as I like that one, 'cause I suggested it. - If you say, you know, what did you mean, what is that, when you did that just now? - Yeah, what did you mean to hit? 'Cause you could tell how bad, you could tell how drunk Blake is by how bad he is at the sun board. - And I think you're doing okay right now, which leads me to believe, you gotta drink up Isaac. - Bunker, I'm getting radical. - You gotta be here for me, brother. - Uh-oh. Did you slurp this whole cock down? - It's really hard to drink. - No, no, no. - Well, drink it out of the side, dude. You don't have to drink it out of the hard cock in time. - If I don't drink it out of the hard cock, was it a point to even buying it? - Chug, chug, chug. (audience laughing) - Oh, shit. - I think the best way to use this is to eat its ass. - Just drink right out of the little boy's head. - What even is this podcast, you guys? - Very sorry for all the spouses that are just along for the right. (laughing) - Isaac. - Isaac Horne. - Should he show you guys his tits? - Yeah. - I think so, I think so, I think so. - I think so, I think so. - I don't like the guy's tarnishing of tits. (audience cheering) - Yes, yes, Isaac Horne. - In the water. - I'm selling it for you. - That's how it's done, Isaac. - That's a good one. - Thank you. - You didn't lead with that? - I told myself I wanted to, and then the dick came out, and I lost all my plans. - The dick came out? - The dick flopped out. - What's, I haven't seen any dicks on this cruise. - Yeah. - Really? - And that's okay, had you? - Yeah, you have. - My own? - Oh, well. - I woke up this morning and go still there. (laughing) - You always check on it? - You never know. When a kid's in an accident, he can lose it. - That's true, that is, that much is true. I have not seen any dicks, but are you like, is this a call to action? - No, no. - You said liar, who said liar? - Lier. - I do think it, like, someone's gonna smoosh it up against the glass rarling up here. - Just totally like. - Okay, yeah, what if you're like, way up at the top and you did it? Like, there we go, there we go. - There we go, man. - Oh, thank you, man. - Thank you, buddy. - 'Cause that would be cool. - Don't get 'em, don't get 'em, play cool. - Play it cool, look at the yellow shirts. - Still not to look. - The yellow shirts were just like, fucking zip line up there. (snorting) - Push your dick away. - Yeah. - You're under arrest. - No, no, no, no, no. No, the yellow shirts are fucking sick, yeah. We fuck with the yellow shirts. - Yeah, these yellow shirts. [BLANK_AUDIO] Yeah, that's actually the party police. If you're not partying hard, yeah, they make you party more We saw two girls finger banging each other No joke at the casino the other day and Isaac was like to the one of the yellow shirts and was like, hey, well Maybe we stopped this and they go Which I thought was fucking cool Anywhere else they'd be like, well, Jesus Christ you can't a finger bank each other in public. Whoa, hey You're at the buffet. Yeah, stop here. They're like, what are we doing? Yeah, we're international waters, you know, absolutely Hey, what were you guys talking about us trying to get my jacket on? Oh, cool stuff. Okay. Yeah, we were talking about finger banging at the buffet Oh, yeah, no doubt, no doubt. They didn't stop it right it was in the casino. It wasn't the buffet. Oh, yeah Well, I think I think it's happened on multiple occasions and then those fingers have been all over this ship Yeah, well, no, I'm sorry. I said the buffet. It was the chef. Yeah, it was the chef. Oh Yeah, you need another four inches You was so you guys know what that's from What's that that what you're in any other four inches? What is it? I was watching like football or some shit and some like ladies walking around this commercial and he's trying to fit This guy's trying to fit a giant TV in the back of his car And this lady goes you're gonna need another four inches and my fucked up brain now Just thinks and sound bites to text Blake. Yes, and I'm like This is gonna be perfect for the podcast and you did the same thing with this one And I like it and I like it. I think we were the first to do this Before and now I've seen it online quite a bit, but the uh Do not come. I'm gonna come. Oh, I'm pretty sure we were the first Everybody's coming. Yeah, we claim that. That's our claim to fares. That's cool man. I hope that's why we get a fucking walk a fame star Yeah, it's purely off of that. Are you think so? Yeah, I think we can Do you think we will have a Hollywood walk a fame star of this is important Right is that the one with like the phonograph the like old book and record player Because we're a podcast yes, yes, yes, for Jesus. Well, because now they're giving um Like Grammys to podcasts, right? Oh, we're not winning. Thank you Grammys. Yeah, what you can do. Don't think this is a Grammy worthy podcast That is weird I'll say it. No I in fact, who I would look down at the Grammys if we won A best podcast it would be like what are what the fuck are we doing here? What are we doing here other podcasts? They prepare they have topics they have guests have interesting topics We don't have little boys. We do the fart things. We do the farting. Yep Yep And that's the podcast and it's fun and I love it, but we're not winning any awards I want to god not I think Amy polar one Being super funny. Yeah, it's a pretty good podcast. Yeah, for being talented. It really funny. Yeah, and having on guests Yes Isaac, can you guys just please have on guests if you have guests more people will listen we don't need more people We just we have you guys all we need is you We don't want fucking oh this person you are the lifeline fuck out of here. Uh, that being said we probably will at some point but Just to keep it going But uh, yeah, no, I feel like our guests would be like oh good a team is you know, you want to try to get the most famous person possible to To be the guest and our guest will just be like My mom probably We'll get her we'll get her three Dirty martini's deep and have her come on the podcast Oh, wow, how does that even work? I think grandma we found Adam should just penny want to come out. Yeah, should she be a guest. Should she be a guest? I mean, come on up here mom Yeah, come on. I think you should at least we've had we know we're trying to win a granny. We're gonna win a granny This is this is gonna be the episode that we submit for best podcast Do we use a Grammy being out of a little cock? We use a Grammy to get a Grammy Oh, this is getting me excited. What is Any gonna bring to the tape. Yeah, she's making it Boys and girls Mother of me and my sister Brittany penny Wow You look gorgeous penny you look glorious mom And can you believe she is only 82 years old? She's looking pretty good for 82 don't you think That's right Why are you guys sitting down so disrespectful? Yeah, that was really just now. That's okay. You can sit down So mom here you you take a seat you take a seat here, but he just sit on the table Take a seat right there. Yeah, we'll just drop down in the jazz right there. Maybe we all just stand behind her Blake wants to recreate the scene from Ghostbusters with Sigourney Weaver's taken by the Monster Arms Let's I don't I don't want to recreate that let's try to take let's take like a cool like Sears photo Oh That's what is what has been your favorite part of the podcast thus far There's not any Yes Damn, how did you come out with the hardest line yet? What is that supposed to mean you're not having any fun? Yeah Wow Elder abuse I'm holding on to the microphone. There's you're not having you're not having any fun Her poof And is that because you relate to the naked grandma stuff? I'm not I'm not meaning to I'm not meaning to the boats rocky. It's a you're you're grounded Grounded that's so tight Adam. She's serious. You guys have any questions from my mother. What do you now? This is the time she's in the hot seat right here. That is true. Yeah, that is true You want to ask me any any questions about my youth or anything she's here and I'm don't take this the wrong way We've heard all the stories about your youth a few times. Yeah, we know them all Okay, we have we have one okay. Yes, yes captain. Yes What was the hardest like punishment or grounding you had to give to Adam and why? Okay, what really got him in the trouble good question good question Well the and how she started it for me through me for a loop what was the hardest yeah, and then she started on her words a bit Yeah, I was like you're asking my mom this question, but okay hardest punishment or grounding and why and why Probably My mom let me hold on to my appropriate well then hold on with the guy damn my great I see he he got in lots of trouble because um he had a party at our house Where there was all kinds of alcohol and uh not okay, we all got in trouble and Anyway, then he he just got big time grounded and I told him he was gonna have to pay for And did you ever beat him and why not I should have I should have beat Actually do think you should have beat Adam up a little bit. Yeah, beat him up. That's different. Yeah, beat me up beating him up is like that's abuse just getting the beaten no honors has brought this topic up Kind of often that he thinks I should have been beaten more as a child And or adult young man. Well, I've been I have been beaten quite a few times as an adult. Yeah, uh, but no These people did not beat me Which and look what happened. I guess it shows. Yeah, yeah, but but anyway. No, he just he They were good kids. Oh, well, that's not funny. It's really cool that you get lumped in with your sister who was actually a good kid No, no, no, my sister was a bad kid. My sister was brought home by the police multiple times She multiple times Renegades you're raising. It sounds like you needed to beat him up a little bit. Oh, they want to beat him up She'd been drinking and she got a flat tire and stayed with her car instead of drinking and driving I was intoxicated. I'm drunk now. So anyway hi on meth Yeah, you don't know you never know. We don't read every day We honestly don't know they didn't test for meth in the 90s. That's right But if someone was gonna do it it'd be a divine it be Britney with an eye. Yes, and why did you name her Britney with an eye because that is a renown. This is good stripper name Britney He said that her name was the slutty spelling because it ends in an eye. - Yeah. - Right. - Yeah. - That's right. - But I don't think that's not why we named her brain. - But so, did you guys consider the multiple different spelling? - That's not why. - She just kind of repeated the question back. - Yeah. - So, there's a lot of different ways to spell Brittany. - Yeah. - Right. - There's like Brittany. - There's Brittany, there's Brittany with an eye. - Right. - Did you guys write them all out? And I'm being genuine, as I always am. - Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. - Whoa. - You're taking your shirt off? - It's 'cause it was kind of like a newer name. It's spelling like that, it was Adam's like a classic. - Yeah, give her the mic. - Yes. - Go sit down. - You're grounded. Okay, Adam is classic. Brittany with an eye, kind of new like-- - Yeah, I mean, and that was, we didn't name her after. That was before Brittany Spears and all that kind of crap. Otherwise, we wouldn't have named her that. - Shots fired Brittany Spears. - We wouldn't have named her that, 'cause anyway, but I love Brittany. - Yeah, I love her. - I love the name. - Okay, thank you, Brittany Spears. - Yeah. - Thank you, Brittany. Thank you for coming. - Thank you for bringing me. Thank you for bringing me. - We do need more guests. I was wrong. - Penny, you're the best. Thank you for coming on "The Forth and Me." - Thank you guys. - Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. - You hear that Netflix? Jesus, stop. - Dude, look how much Yeager Meister is in her cup. - So that's crazy. - Insane. - She just drinks Yeager with a straw. All day, it's fucking epic, dude. - It's a blast of time. - It's a blast of time, dude. - I love this. - What's your mom's drink? - My mom's drink vodka. - Vodka. - Yeah. - I love this. - Now I think it's like vodka. - As she's shopping at the grocery store, she's like, let me just. - Little sippy sappy. - Yeah, yeah. - Take a little nip. - It sounds like vodka sprite, which is kind of sick. - Yeah. - Yeah, that party that I had, that was actually a pretty big deal in our lives. I was grounded for two weeks. Can you believe that? You deserved it. Two weeks. - Two weeks. - Yeah, so I know, I know, but my parents weren't good at disciplining. So two weeks was a big deal. And we had a 26 counts of securing alcohol to minors. - Of what? - Yeah. And then over 1,000 kids were at the party. - And she's the way. - And they had the one helicopter in Omaha, fly over and use their life. - That's just a good PR for you. - Yeah, I was saying. - What year were you in high school? - That was, I believe that was the year 2001, or perhaps 2002. Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. - 98 through 2002. - So did Jesus Christ. When you had the party, what grade were you in? - Oh, the summer going into senior year. - Okay, so, okay. - Yeah, so. - 'Cause I'm saying, if you had that sophomore year, you're riding on that for the rest of high school. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause you would definitely par with that. - You're gonna hand jobs from college girls that are coming back to Omaha. - Oh my God. - Coming back. - Coming back, hand jobs, yeah. - Coming back to-- - Coming back to-- - Coming back to-- - Coming back to hand jobs, sophomore. - That is pretty cool. That's huge. - Yeah, they're starting fires. - You would have been like that. Who was that, the member of the Australian dude who just like got busted for the most epic Lorde ever? - He kind of was kind of wearing your gear sort of, but like a yellow hat. - That's what I'm going for. - Yeah. - He should be on the board. - There's an Australian guy through a crazy party. The news was there and he was like, I'd do it all over again. - Oh yeah, and that's what the guy from Project X, that's what it was sort of based on. - Really. - Yeah, I believe so. - You remember that movie Project X? - Mm-hmm. - That was a cool movie. - I'm still gonna say that. - Yeah, and the Australian guy was fucking sick. He was just like a pocket. - Dude, Australian people fucking rocked him. - There's a few here. - Where they at? - I love me some Aussies. - Yeah. - That's wild. Y'all came from Australia. Hell yeah, we appreciate you so much. - And what did I say on the podcast not too long ago? Australians are the blank of blank. - I think you were saying-- - I don't even like repeating it. You said that Filipino people are the Australians of Asia. - Of Asia, yes. Which makes-- - Because no fucking silence makes sense. 'Cause every Filipino person I've ever met in my life, I fucking love them. - Yeah. - Okay. - A bunch like every Australian person I've ever met, I fucking love them, mate. - I've always said-- - 'Cause you are all psychopaths. - Australians are like the white Jamaicans. - Like, they're our Jamaicans. - Okay. - Sure. - The white ones. - The white ones, yes. - Okay. I like that. That adds up a little more. - It's just like a automatic good time. - Mm-hmm. - Okay. - And-- - Okay. And we're not-- - Did I just break your brain? - Yeah, that's it. - Now, are you DJing-- - I forgot what-- - I forgot what-- - What is up? - Shouldn't have brought it up. - What else are we doing tonight? I think I'm doing a karaoke thing. - Ooh. - Ooh. - That's gonna be very fun. - Yeah. - Do people have, like, can people sign up? Did they have, like, songs ready? - I'm salient. - I don't know how it works. I'm assuming there's a book and people choose the songs. - That's scary, okay. - This girl's nodding, like she knows how this karaoke's gonna work. ♪ Please don't stop the music ♪ ♪ Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap ♪ - I'm basically, I'm asking, are you going to perform? ♪ Please don't stop the music ♪ - Of course you are. - If anyone here thinks they're getting the mic away from Adam, tonight, I care. - I care. - Your mistakes. ♪ Give my mind a move and strike this thing ♪ - The words will be out there, so I'll know all the words. - Okay, perfect. - That's what's nice about the karaoke. We have some cues and aids. - Let's do it. - I'm gonna do it. - I don't know where to hold you, dude. - You guys, there were some cues. We asked, if you guys had any cues, and we have some aids. So you guys wanna hear some cues and aids? - Let's do it. - Let's show 'em, show 'em the aids. - Did you buy any Viagra at the Mexican pharmacy? - Oh my God, didn't need 'em. - Did you? - I didn't. The only medical thing I bought was in Tampa. I did get my first IV ever, and I swear to God, I think my left hand is gonna fall off. - Yeah. Tampa, why do you think your left hand is gonna, 'cause you jerked off so much afterwards. 'Cause I've been beating my dick over there so hard. No, it feels like there's spiders in my veins. - All right, man. - Okay. - Whoa, dude. - I guess so. I don't know. - No, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't buy Viagra in Mexico, because I have code, this is important 20, at hymns.com. - Fuck it. - But no, I should have swung by a pharmacy. I like a good Mexican pharmacy. - Oh, I'm to go in there and just buy some stuff. - And what's the deal? You could just go in and get whatever you want. - Yeah. - Have you ever been? - I'm just helping you explain it to her. - Oh, yeah, no. I mean, these degenerates were all up in there. - You went right there. - Of course they were, yeah. - Yeah, you went right there. You went straight to the sort of-- - They could get all the tramadol or whatever sort of tramadol, tramadol, tramadol, tramadol, crinkillers. - I know what you guys were getting. - Xanax, hellazanax, zanny bars. - Yeah, probably. - Yo, who out there is gonna die tonight, yo? - No, don't do that. - Please don't do that. - Please don't. - Please don't do that, please don't do that. - That'll be terrible. - Legally, we don't love that. - And I'm asking so the security-- - Legally, yellow jackets. - Yellow jackets? - Recognize them now. - Get 'em partying. - What the hell? - And I'm low just like-- - Kill the bud light right there. Okay, how many titties have you seen on this cruise? - Whoa. - Pairs of titties? - Pairs of titties. - Are we doing the math on this? - Uh, I would say pairs of-- - 'Cause if someone whipped out one, like-- - Okay. - Oh yeah, I guess we got it. - Yeah, I guess we got it. - Pairs of titties. - Do you think that, like, if you only see one tittie, did you actually see the titties? Or does that not count? - Like, 'cause I have a-- - I have a journal that I use to act hard. - I have a journal that I use to act hard. - Like, there's a titties I've seen in my life. - No one has a dear diary. - Yes, right. - I did it again. I saw a gorgeous pair. - I think it's titties, and then if it's just one, it's a boob. - Okay, so I say, so in my journal, I should just write and solve a boob. - Seeing a boob, kind of even funny. Seeing titties? - Different. - Yeah, 'cause you could kind of leak a boob out the bottom. - That's right. - But it looks like titties. It's like, game on, here you go, game on. - That's what, yeah, that's what you say out loud. - That's floppin' 'em out. - Yeah. - But a boob is just sort of, like-- - Uh-huh. - Right. - Right, right, right, right, right. - Uh, now this person wants to know, "Can der swim from the ship to Cosmell with no support." - Yeah. - Do you got that in you? - You honestly think right now, you could swim from here to Cosmell. - Isn't it just there? - Well, we're going, like, I don't know, 15 miles an hour, and are we moving? - Yeah, honestly, I never know if we're moving or we're stopped. I just know we're swaying, and I'm thought, "Yes, although I would appreciate the support from you guys." - I believe you could. - If you could go to the balcony cheer me on, yeah. - Okay, let's do it. Let's do it tonight after karaoke. - Yeah, fuck it. - Dursus is swimming the Cosmell. - I do like that, you, me announcing it, and doing it, and, like, nobody shows up. (laughing) - I'm being in my shark, and I'm like, "Wow, fuck." - I do. - It's just, that would be worth doing it. - Mmm. - That would be worth doing it. (dramatic music) Blake, how was your hair so lush? Honestly, we know you've got a skin care routine. We've covered that. What is your hair care routine? It's it's not It's not really impressive. I just kind of shampoo every two days Well, okay, are you pronounced to say? I shampoo every Tuesday. Yeah, that was iced tea I will say that that you know there was a workaholics on in the in the rooms, you know, and saw as watching some workaholics and God damn was our hair thick specifically durs in myself. I feel like I'm a bald old woman compared to what I was No, sir. I don't like that. You need it. You know what you need you need to go to hashtag hymns dot com They got you to hashtag hymns dot com code this is important 20 Maybe and by the way, I don't think that might be I don't even know if they're still a sponsor We're giving them a lot of love we are Netflix, and this is what we ran into on workaholics, which is people would be like we did a whole thing about Dr. Pepper 710 for men. Yeah, they like market it for men So we were like, well, this is what our characters would have to drink and then we just read this article that was like the workaholics have sold out They did an entire episode of advertisement for Dr. Pepper 10. We got zero dollars zero dollars Yeah, but because I don't know if you remember Dr. Pepper 10, which was 10 calories Dr. Pepper and we're and we're doing it again Dude, though their whole marketing campaign was like Dr. Pepper 10 Man, they were like taking it out of the hands of women. Yeah, different times different times It was so funny, and we were like, of course our characters would be like we got a drink like a favorite Honestly, I still have a case, and we're gonna break it out vintage Who comes to set most prepared out of the out of the three of us obvious to set To set like on a show on a show on a show they're pointing Durses people are pointing Durs. I kind of think it's on Durs right? Well Durs you're on like a big-ass show right now monsters of Monarch You're you're on to do dropping pride in you're on a show with literally the coolest fucking dude ever You're living my dream, yep, almost you almost met him the other night. Oh, I was like this giant show over Los Angeles to kind of like promote the show. It was like Godzilla fighting King King King King Kong and all the shit You got to know your lines. It is King Kong. It's not King King. I'd be like oh shit. Who's my favorite King King? He can't that's not good for the interview Oh, by the way if we didn't fuck up our words what would we be what would the podcast? Yeah, what would we be? But Kurt was there you like jump out of a Humvee and like Present the thing and then people watch it dude. He walked by me. He was this close. And I was just like Sneak Stay and then Kurt left Almost immediately. Oh, yeah, he was in and out. I don't blame him. I don't blame him. It's Kurt Russell But it's fine to be prepared. I will prepare a lot as you do for like a job. You're professional and yet somehow Someway still fuck it up can't know my lines. Yeah. Yeah, Durses is really bad at remembering his lines Which is you wouldn't think so because you do have a pretty good brain For something. Yes, something and I'm glad you guys asked because on season two episode one of is it cake? You remember all your lines? I prepped very so it's scripted. This is what you're telling me my lines were scripted They said do not let him have a mic and and just freestyle Because then is it cake would be about but holes and come and I think that would ruin the show Yeah, and they're like this is not this is cake. I think it might be come Oh my god cancelled more like is it come? So Faye from Portland asks does working with Netflix mean the workaholics movie will happen Yes, it does yeah, it does Police shit. I didn't know that yeah, that's what it means by the way. I see some mouth to gate. That's not what it means We don't know Paramount they still own the project. Yes, uh, and it sucks bought dude because we were so excited about it But fucking yeah, what are you gonna do fuck paramount plus but that they use have an old but that is the old boss right Fuck them now. They have a new boss. Maybe not fuck. Yeah, maybe we chill on the fuck paramount Maybe not fuck him. Yeah, if he wants to Make our movie. Yeah, that would be awesome Okay, yeah, we filmed workaholics again. What would we do differently? No our lines? Recast Eric Griffin. Oh It's a break. I love Eric. No, I'm so glad Eric made it on the boat. Is he watching us? I wish he was here No, legit. I would like to see Sinbad in the role, but okay, okay. Yeah, don't call Eric a role Well Blake even though he's got the Blake uh Blake, I remember when we were casting Eric in the role of Montez you came in the room and you were like I found our Montez I got it got um and then you told me you're I'm like, well, who is it? Yeah Did he just audition? It was like this guy named Eric Griffin I just met him in the lobby and I know Eric from stand-up and I was like no way in hell No way in fucking hell. I hate that. Here's the beat. Here's the beat. Here's the tail He showed up a date early for the audition. That's right. He is And I was just like what like he was like I think he asked for a snack and there or he was like looking for the exit or something He's like I came on the wrong day and I'm just just interacting with him. I'm like he thought you were a fucking janitor He did he thought I was the janitor Where's the better? I was like I just met Montez And I've never seen him in the audition. He and he like took me aside. He's like man. I'm so proud of you Thinking he's proud of me for having my own TV show and he's like peeing on this big show Oh really? Oh, man. I'm like fuck you. You're not getting the role. Yeah, he got it cut to 15 years later What's up with Tiba? Yeah, hey Tiba turn around and face it up. Jesus Christ. What did that mean? That was that was scary I think that meant for him. He just for points. Yeah, if you saw that look in his eyes, it was like Dead man walking on a scale of one to ten. How much of a punk ass bitch is Kyle for not being here? Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, that's the thing. It's too busy 18 babies Allegedly allegedly Allegedly If Wargo hogs ever came back and you had to cast current actors to play you who who would you cast Timothy Chalamet I hear you. Timothy Chalamet Timothy Chalamet as good. Yes, okay, 100%. Yeah, all right. I could see that He's a good actor. He could find he could find Blake. Yeah. Oh, I would crush it. Are you kidding me? Yeah? Durses you have anyone in the in the chamber who like Frankenstein? Who's that guy? He'd be like a bigger better me Oh, yeah, like Jacob Allordy. Yeah, dude. I ran dude. I ran into Jacob Allordy We were leaving the Dodger game and we were in the line for We're in the line for Ubers next to each other. Yeah, and he's a work Alex fan, which is really cool Yeah, and my wife who was ready to go home. She was like I'm so tired as soon as Jacob Allordy was around She was like, yeah, I'm going to some party. This is not an Australian accent, but I'm going to some party In civil like and suddenly Chloe is like, yeah, we can go where where's the party? Maybe we should go to the party Adam we're going to the party. She's like back like a backpack. Yeah, she's like maybe we just go there And I'm like are you leaving me for Jacob Allordy right now? That's crazy. You're inside of his shirt Yeah, so you go Jacob Allordy. Yeah, I think that he would just be like a bigger cooler. I don't know if he's funny Has he been funny and stuff? I don't know. Yeah, Betty kissing the kissing booth Is he that's where he puts off? Okay, y'all's Queen's y'all This is a killer cast I gotta watch Frankenstein. Yeah, I feel like I would make a guy that played Elton John I was so bombed. I was like man, I can play Elton. That should have been you Teran Edgerton Edgerton. Yeah, I'll go tear by the way, this is a very not funny work I don't know. This is a very serious workaholics, or we just get the please do not destroy you guys. Yeah, that would be good too That would be good to destroy SNL. They just plug right in. They got it. They got this Keep any props from the show Absolutely, I have one of the most valuable things in my garage right now I do have the original bear coat. I do Oh my I saw some bear coats out there. That was yes, dude Some of that one dude who was rocking the bear coat the whole time. He's like it's so hot I'm like bro, you can take it. You don't have to have been at sea for several days now. Yeah, I I live with ghost man Yeah, so you know, he's pretty good around the house. Yeah No, and in fact, I'm kind of bummed because I don't keep any mercy. and then every time I'm over to Blake's house, it's like a museum to us. And I'm very bummed that I don't own some of this stuff. - Yeah, I also have my tie, I have my shoes. - Oh, I got one of each wardrobe. - I have the wig, which I'm obviously wearing right now. I have it all, I have it all. - I got the raw weagen jeans. - Oh hell yeah, dude. - I actually got a shirt I'm over tomorrow. (cheering) - Nest spoilers. - Hopefully it comes off eventually. - Kevin from Oregon wants to know, is it okay to be torqued in a speedo? (cheering) - Yeah, there we go. - I feel like that's great. - There you go. - There you go. - There we go. - There you go. - Wow, fully torqued. - Is that how we introduced that fully torqued thing? - Yeah. - That's nice. - Absolutely, get torqued. - You need another four inches. - We preferred that way. - Mallory from Michigan. - And how often are you testing your tea? Testosterone meat, eh? - For those of you who don't know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We tested our testosterone last year at the Super Bowl. And one of us had the lowest and I'm not gonna say who. - You're a stupid dumbass. - But he also had the smallest biceps. - Yeah, and he also had the smallest biceps, so. - Well, one of my biceps is gonna fall off because of Tampa Bay, that IV, just the spiders. - And he also drinks beer out of a child's cock. Stop. That's not what we're walking away with today. Okay? - Yes. - Yeah. ♪ You're in the file ♪ - I've-- (laughing) - How wild, in what world would I be? - No, no, no, no, he's not, he's got his own file. - In what world? - Well, I have my boob journal, but that's different. - That is different. - You got a boob journal, which is one step away from the file. - Yeah, there's millions of emails in the files. You've got just one really bad email. - Yeah. - Just one bad one. - That's all, it really needs to be. - God. I mean, I know we've covered this, but I will say, if I just met some billionaire at some party, and he was like, yo, I have a private island, and I'm throwing a party, and you could take my jet. Come on, my name's Jeffrey. I'd be like, fuck it, let's ride. I don't know, this guy seems cool, he's got a tan, oh. I mean, and we were talking about this dinner yet. - You guys, we're still on, we're still on, we're still here. - We're up about this topic, and we're still on. - We are in public still. - Yes, yes. - How much? - That flicks. - Boom, boom. - Yes, sir. - We should wrap this up, right? - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - Okay, any tapebacks, any apologies, any epic slams? - Not as far for the crew. - Oh, I mean, I definitely, I guess I want to take back this purchase, I didn't realize. - That's not a refundable player. - Can we turn the ship around so I can give it back? I regret the, dude, I didn't realize it's jizzing, I didn't-- - It is jizzing, oh, that is, it is so nasty. - You gotta rub it the right way. - Yes, and I thought it was gonna be funny, and I should have just got the massive cock instead of the-- - How about this, and I'm speaking for you. I'm speaking for you at this point. But would you be interested in leaving it somewhere on the boat for somebody to disco? - Oh, my. - Okay. And then, and then once somebody gets it, yellow jackets, grab them, they're pedophiles. - Yes, they're out of here, they've got their own files. - Got you, bitch, got you, bitch. - Got you, bitch. - Yeah, that's a great call. Okay, so let's set up a podcast. A lot of it is just quoting other comedy central shows. - Yes, yeah. - 15-year, 20 years ago. - You're sending our fans to jail. - So I'm gonna hide this on the ship somewhere. Look around tomorrow. The Easter Bunny is gonna be out tonight. - Okay, again, children's holiday, just stop it, dude. - Yeah, dude, I don't know, you keep bringing it up. - He is risen. - But honestly, how fun is it hiding Easter eggs? Let's talk about it, dude. - We don't have to do it. - Hiding Easter eggs, it's fun to be the Easter Bunny. - Okay. - Why are you keeping it up, kids? - Yeah, it is weird. - I know you don't drink. - You can fit in that. - Like a brass hole. - You can win this if you have that. - I did not know that. - Okay, make sure we clip that. Make sure we clip that. I love children. - I love children. - You do like Jolly B. - He's in the bio. - I love children. - Okay, I didn't like that. - I'm funny before, now it's getting weird. - It's getting weird. - Sorry, it's not funny. - I don't have anything to take back. I'm having a great time. - Yeah, I'm loving the cruise. - It's fun to actually kick it and get to know a lot of you guys. I'm having a blast. So thank you for having a good time. - This is amazing. - The six man team, thank you guys. And thank you, and they keep coming up to me and saying like, how fun our crowd is. So thank you guys for. - You guys are crushing. - Not jumping overboard. And did anybody lose anybody on land? Did somebody not make it back? Anybody not get on the boat? - I heard somebody say, yeah, but I think you're fucking with me. - There's no way to tell. - Okay, I would like to bum her. I lost $5. - There would have been like an announcement, right? Like, no. Barry didn't make it. - You think they come on that lady who's like, hey everybody, it's me. Are y'all whiling out? We lost somebody I'd cause an out. Have a good day. And by the way, the boys are gambling. Get down there now. Get down there now. - Shout out to her. - She's very good. - She's very good. - She's killing it. - Betty's killing it. Betty's killing it. - I gave a little announcement yesterday to say that we weren't doing the, was it yesterday, the first day to say we weren't doing these broadcasts because of how she didn't do any video was. - Yeah. - And she wrote a little thing out for me to read. And then I read it, but then added a few extra things and she looked at me like I was a god. - Yeah. - She was like, I was like first, I was like, oh, you didn't think I could read. Did you? - So she's straight shook that I could read your thing. - Yeah, she's seen the show, she's listening to the pot. - Yeah, she's like, oh my god, he can't read. - Yeah. - She might get low willy tonight. Willy, willy nilly with it. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay. - You've inspired her. - Yeah, let's do this. - It's like short circuit where she gets struck by lightning and the Johnny Five comes alive. - And there we go. - And the one person that knows what the fuck you're talking about is up there. - Short, really? - Dursd, did you have a take back or an apology? Maybe you want to erase all the stuff you said about me? - I'm sorry, we even brought up the files. But, you know what, we're all thinking about them, constantly right? - Yep. - And Blake is in the file. - And we're mostly thinking that you're in 'em. - Okay. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Can I get to play some, Paul Simon to take us out. - I think so. And guys, we're gonna be doing another pod tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - Yes. - We'll be back. - And I've heard a portal from another realm might open up tomorrow night. - We have heard some songs. - We have heard some rumblings. - There's some gathered on the ground. - Thank you guys so much. We're having a blast. We'll see you out there tonight. We love you guys. Thank you. (cheering) (upbeat music) - That was another episode of This is Important! (cheering) - Hear me that William. (upbeat music) - This is an I Heart Podcast. (upbeat music) Guaranteed Human.