Ep 277: Workwear, More Like Work Where?

This is an "I Heart" podcast, Guaranteed Human. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of "I Heart" radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important. Today on This Is Important. The State School! Lakes like the Devil's Cock. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. It's like a coven of meat-slinging wizard women, dude. [rumbling] Let's go! [laughing] Don't lie! Oh, shit. What, uh. I liked that, too. Are you pissed now? [singing] Yeah, we're pissed now, dude. Uh, I'm pissed now. I'm pissed now! Uh, you guys both have really cool looks today. I'll say that. Yeah, man. We're coming in. It's a new year, new me, right? Is it new year? Has it been a new year? Is it new year right now? I feel like we're close. We're kissing it. It's almost. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Tomorrow's New Year's Eve. The sentence that wouldn't end. [laughing] Oh, hello! Tomorrow's New Year's Eve, great. Yeah. Well, dude, last week we should have talked about Christmas, then. We fucking blew it. Oh, well, well, not everybody celebrates holidays, though. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Did you guys get my holiday card? Christmas, uh, Merry Christmas card. Uh, yeah. I assume I did. I don't know. I don't know. You should be in the mail. You did professional photos, right? We. Well, yeah. I mean. Sears. Professional. No, it's just this woman that comes to us and we go take photos. Woman. What is happening? Woman. Do you pay this woman? Yeah. That's professional. That's professional. But then you, like, stepped it out, you're like, yeah, there's like a whole thing. Like, apparently she does it for money and then we give her the money and then she takes the pictures. No. You stepped it out, dude. I didn't step it out. I go, yeah. You're fucking disaster, my guy. And then Blake says, Sears and I go, no, not Sears, huh? It's a woman that comes to my house. So don't try to fucking pin me down with those sunglasses, dude. That's a professional. I know. These are not sunglasses. These are fun glasses. Okay. Yeah. You're trying to pin me down, dude. Like, right out of the gate, too. Yeah. You know what? When Blake said Sears and I said, no, dude, it's not Sears. It's a woman that comes to my house and she takes the photos. Uh-huh. But we wrote on the cards, Merry Christmas. Of course you did. I'm going to be sending them out. Of course you did. I do like that. It said Happy Holidays and you were like, and you went through them all and you just crushed it out. It's handwritten. No, we never even thought of writing Happy Holidays. Yeah. You just wrote Merry Christmas. And then I'm sending it to some Jewish friends and that's the only time it dawned on me that maybe they don't like it, but I also I'm like, I wouldn't care. I don't know if it's they don't like it. Well, I wouldn't care if they sent me a Happy Hanukkah card. I would think that's pretty dope. I'm like, oh, yeah, it's your fucking Happy Hanukkah. Rock out on the Hanukkah. So I wonder if anyone actually cares at all or if I'm sure someone cares. Oh, dude. I'm sure someone cares. Oh, absolutely. Somebody really gives a fuck. But I'm sure it's a little bit of like, I don't celebrate Christmas, what do I fucking care? Yeah. Just that. It's just that. Yeah, it's just a nice photo of your friends and co-workers families. Yeah. They're like, look at this. It's it's a divine family. It looks like someone came over their house and they paid them a tape. Pro. Yeah, that's right. But not at seers to answer Blake's question. Do you go pro Blake? No, Blake doesn't. Do I go pro? I don't I don't even do it. Do you guys don't do Christmas cards? No, I don't. I really, really want to start. I will be honest. Uh-huh. Well, why, if you really, really want to, it's so easy, dude. You just call a woman. She comes to her house. Yeah. A woman. Why do you say, given like that, why do you say woman, so, right? It's the way you say it rings very heavy in my headphones. You call a woman. You say woman. No, I doubt. That's just how I say you do. You do. He didn't say, no, no. He said, you call a woman. You call a woman. The woman comes over. Uh-huh. In the way that only a woman could-- What about you saying you call a photographer? Why is it? You call a woman? Well, in my case, it's a woman. Well, you don't want a guy. You call a Christmas woman. And look, I'll say it. You don't want a guy. Yeah, you don't want a guy. What do you mean? You only photographer? I know as a guy. You get a guy. Next thing you know, he sends you the prints. It's just all your wife's team. And you go, hey, buddy. What the fuck? Yeah, it's just all your wife's tits and ass. Goodbye. What are you doing? What do you want to do? We'll hire a woman then. And I go, next time we will. What the fuck is this? And also, usually-- and not always-- but usually-- women are better. See? Did you like how I said that? I guess. But you're about to say something totally not true. What are you about to say? Are better with children. Uh-oh. Got them. I would say for the most part, women are better with little kids. Little kids are more comfortable to smile, and-- Kidding, little kids too pose for pictures. And if push comes a shove, they can dig their fucking nails into their arm and say, "You give me one, you little sack of shit. You give me one." Or hear me out, dig them with their tits out, they can-- the child can suckle. What? Get some energy. I've heard about this. And then maybe they're ready for a photo. Yes. They're drinking his can of scene for, baby needs his-- To play, it seemed like you've never heard of this. I've heard of this. Yeah. I guess. Yeah, I guess you're right. It's-- it's making sense. You just-- sometimes you have to step it out. Okay. Well, all I'm saying is you could call a person. How about that place? A photographer. A photographer. A photographer. You're the type of guy that you're going to see my marry, uh, you know, a happy Christmas or Merry Christmas card that I sent to you. Uh-huh. And then you're going to be offended by it because you're acting like such a bitch. Right now. I'm actually not that guy. Okay. I don't mind what you're right. Well, then why are you so offended by your hire a woman to come take photos? It's just-- you hire a photographer. It's-- it's interesting to say, you hire a woman. Sure. Hey, but also it's not that big of a deal, dude. It's not that big of a deal, dude. It's not a big deal. It's just something that was ringing really heavy in my can. Well, but if it rings so heavy, uh-huh, then obviously it is a big deal to you, boy, that is just a big deal. It's not a big deal. And like, I find that-- I find it real fast and come running-- coming from somebody who's wearing black head right now. Yeah. You wear a black head. What? Allegedly. I'm offended. It's not black face. It's black head. Yeah. I'm offended. I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. You're wearing what people call a bala clapa. This is a bala clapa. Oh, but thank you. I'm glad you know the name. What you're doing is co-opting a look of that black men have cultivated over generations of shaving their heads. And you're just trying to cash in on that until-- Oh, see, I didn't even know that. I didn't even know that. Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, now he's doing black head and mouth. I'm offended. Over the nose. This is ninja. This is ninja. Even worse. Wow. Wow. Oh, I can't win with you guys. You guys are acting like women. You're not black. You're a ninja. I don't. Shut up. Okay. Now you're back in my good graces. So you just hire a person to come over to your house and take the photos, Blake, a photographer. Sure. A photographer. Yes, a photographer. Photographer. Yes. A photographer. For him. A human photographer. A photographer. A photographer. A photographer. Oh, Jesus. Hey. I quit the podcast. I quit. Adam's done. I quit. I quit. I quit. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're turning in now, it's just me. Oh, fuck. I got it. It's just Turs. The D back himself, the slippery snake of radio. Turs. Why don't you, why don't you do? I feel terrible that I don't. I really, really want to. I tell myself every year I'm gonna, even when it comes around and I have forgotten once again, I go, you know what? I'm a new year's one. You can send it after Christmas and then I, I never do it. I never do it. I'm just, I'm bad with that kind of shit. I really do. And you could even have fun with it like happy new year, you know, and everyone's naked. I agree. It seems fun. You could do that. It seems fun. Um, could do that. I would love to, I would love to start with a tradition, but I'm, um, I'm a failure. Oh, well, your, your woman friend, sorry, I don't want to offend you or say anything that would really offend you, Blake. Um, she doesn't partner, she doesn't want to do this. Mm-hmm. I think she does. I think it's it. I think the balls in my court, which is never, that's, well, never a good thing when it comes to the family. I mean, if the balls in your court, then she made the poor decision by putting it in your court. I honestly think that she did it on purpose. She's like, I don't want them to do this, but if I tell Blake, yeah, that's right. I, I disagree. I disagree. I think it's, um, I think it's a, a teaching moment. I think I, and I'm not learning the lesson. I was like, who learned it? Yeah. I'm not learning the lesson. And I need to step up and I need to do better and I will, and you will get those cards. Uh, and Durs is mine in the mail. What's going on? Did you send yours out? What's happening? out this coming week. I love it. We don't go professional. I don't know. We just who takes it? Some dude. We just have like pictures that we take. I'm just pictures. Oh, yeah. You do a collage sort of. Certain times we'll do a collage. Sometimes we'll do like one on the front and a couple on the back. But usually it's just like our own photos. We don't do like a, hey, on the beach, everyone wear linens or whatever. You dig through your actual actual photos. Yeah. Which I like. It'll be like them in like in Australia or whatever. And you're like, oh, that looks like a really fun time. Yeah. I like that. I love receiving them. I wish I gave some. I'm glad that I'm still on people's list without reciprocating. So thank you guys. I love them. They warm my heart. Yeah. I think some of ours have gone out and some of ours hasn't. And if yours hasn't yet, like we will take your card. We won't send you one. Well, we're a tiered system, right? We're like your real friends get at that first. Yeah. I'm off the list. Yeah. I might take you off the list. I don't know why. Some people have been like, oh, thanks for the card already. And then I see like stacks of cards throughout the house. I'm like, why didn't we get these all out at the same time? I don't understand the reason. Woman! Don't mind me. I woman didn't do it. What's your woman doing over here? I don't know. Maybe the balls in your court. Maybe there's 14 that are in your court. Can you imagine? That lesson was learned a long time ago here. Yeah. Chloe knows to not keep those those type of balls in my court. Yeah. I can't play with those balls. No. I don't know. There's no court. She only she can play with my balls. In that way. Hello. Hello. I'm a through the ball. I was like, where's your court? I got no court. There's no ball. We're not even in a league. We're in a league of their own. You threw the ball on the pool. Do you guys have, do you guys have big holiday plans or what's your sprint? Oh. I'm going to be able to return home from Winnipeg for a little family time. I can't wait to, I can't wait to just just be in the presence, be in the presence of my family. Feel love. You only care about the presence is what I just, they better got me some good shit. Do you guys even get presents? I just buy myself shit and say, will you give this to me? Yeah. I don't even do that. I buy so much fucking shit for myself in December. Christmas is pretty depressing for me because you don't get presents. I don't get any presents. You're like the, there will be blood guy. You just sit on your throne and go, look at you fucking sucking off my teeth with your jammas and your new. Your boobs are huge. Hot cocoa. Your new creams and your Nintendo switch. I'll hit you with a switch. Yeah. Yeah. I don't really, I don't really get anything and nothing, huh? No. Chloe doesn't give you something for Christmas. Is this your first take back? No, she gets a, it's like, I usually get like sunglasses, but I, it's the same pair of sunglasses every year. Well, that's something. It's something. It's something. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, you're, you're saying step up a little bit. It's not, it's not enough. It's not enough. Step up. Step up. You know. I get it. Adam, you might like this. What's that? What? So we want an Nintendo switch tube. By the way. That's a hot gift. We were like, we were laid to plan and everywhere's booked and then I was like, let's just go to the hotel that Adam got married at. Let's go down there. Oh. Oh, that's where I'm going. What the? When? 69 days. Right before Christmas. Oh, we were going to go right after, we were going to go right after and they go, our rooms are booked, but we've got a villa and I was like, okay, well, what's the damage on the villa and they were like, it's actually cheaper than two rooms. And I was like, a dude's head. Why? This is the way. And so then Emma, like, is calling and they go, yeah, it's like a two bedroom, da, da, da, and we're like, sick, book it. And then I was just like, it's weird that it's cheaper, that it's a whole thing that's cheaper. Call back and just like double check the dates and all that. And then as she's talking to them, they go, yeah, actually the dates, it's got to be one less day. And we were like, okay, that's fine. And then they go, and it's actually a three bedroom and it's X amount more. And she was like, what happened? I told you to. But I fucking knew it. I was like, what is going on here? And they kept changing. And then they were like, we actually don't know what we can, what the fuck we're doing over here. So now we don't think we're going to go, but we still might, but we're just like, do you have the room at this rate or not? That would have been crazy because we were going to go right afterwards. Can you imagine me and you just drunk so drunk or wise like, man, I thought this is going to be a nice look to wait for us. Just. Yeah. Just a few. This sucks. Feels like I'm on the fucking pot. Where'd they find that golf car? That would be cool. That would be cool. That would be cool. Mexico, I'm really excited to get away. We're only, we're taking such a short trip because it's just how would families going to be in town and yada yada. We're going to fly in, have a night, have a day, have a night and fly back. I'm drunk now. That's, that's a short Mexico trip. Yeah. You're flying in. You're having a day. No, flying in. Yeah. And then we'll get in that evening. Have dinner. You're having a night. Yeah. And then you're having a day and then the next day a full day and a night and then leaving. It's like almost a Vegas trip, you know. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a, that sounds like a one-two pun. Wheels up. Yeah. God damn. Wheels up. You're going for a day. Yeah. And such. You're going for two nights. Two nights, yep. Havana night. Yeah. It's going to be a quick one, but, you know, it's needed. And is that a, that's with, that's with the, with, with the boy? No. Okay. So this is, that's why, that's why we, we're doing it quick. I know what's happening. Okay. I'm starting to read, read the writing on the walls. I like that for daddy. Sexual intercourse. But dude, we looked at everywhere, everywhere in Hawaii's fucking book, dude. Everywhere we like in Hawaii's book, it's also a gazillion dollars. Mexico. Not so crazy. Yeah. Especially the flex. Like a rocks. Yeah. God, Mexico rules. I want to go to Mexico City. Have you guys been there? Cool. It's absolutely sick. A F, dude. It's cool. But they don't want you there. Okay. Yeah. Well, no one wants me anywhere. They don't want you there. There's a whole thing. Well, especially like when Blake's wearing this, like he's a teenager is about to rob a convenience store. Right. No, this isn't a shiasty, dude. This is a straight up, like, needed, I need this, or my ears will freeze. Is the blackhead you're wearing? It's a balacal. Balaba. Thank you. That's what it is. It's a ski mask, brother. Well, also, why don't you just wear a stocking cap? No, are you running in that right out there, right? Dude, it snows way too much. I can't run in this. I'll die. I'll die. I don't got the shoes player. I sent you that. I know. You send me the shoes. You should have. I should have laced you, bro. Don't go back in January without some Gore-Tex player. You got it. You got it. I will do it. But no, no, because Adam, you have to, when you walk out in Winnipeg, is so motherfucker, if you don't cover your mouth, your shit fucking hurts at freezes. Mustache freezes, your nose hurts, your lips start to fall off. I think, I think you maybe you're just to California, dude, because I've toured through Canada before. I've been there. I've been there in the winter. Brother. You've been to Winnipeg. Man, it's a snobah. I have not been to Winnipeg. Dude, I've been to Toronto. I've been to Vancouver. I've been through North Dakota and Minnesota. Vancouver is not. Vancouver, don't get cold. - They don't even get snow in Vancouver. - Kuve, Kuve, doing it like this. - Okay. - I like the peg. - Okay. - I'm just saying, I've been in cold places. I understand the cold. - I know. - But it is very cold here. - It is very cold. - It's 16 degrees right now. Is that what? What is 16? - Negative 16. - What is negative? - Minus 16 V right now is what Isaac says. - Hey, Isaac, that's a voltage. 16 voltage right now? - It's negative 16 volts. - Isaac is so dumb. - Blake's got to get on a bike and power the lights in his room. - Thanks for, thanks for chiming in. - It's negative 16, that's cold. - Here's the deal, Adam, it's, and it's-- - Adam, just give him, that's cold. - It's cold. - That is cold. - It's super cold, and it's not cold yet. It's gonna get cold. - That's cold, you're a bit sure we're in the thing, but it's cold. - No, I enjoy a nice ball of cloth. I think it's a good time. - No, I called a ski mask. That's what I'm gonna keep calling it. You, you, you call it whatever word that is. - I've never heard that word before. - You put on some skis and I'll call it a ski mask player. - Okay, bro. - Fill me, fill me on that. - Okay. - Okay. - Sorry, at least some, at least sunglasses. - I like you. - It's been, it's been a few years now since I've even seen snow. - Oh, I, you're, you're slipping, Boo. - It's cool. - Well, I don't, you know, I don't like it. - Yeah. - I don't, I'm not a skier. - You don't like watching snowfall? - This show? - I'm not a skier. My parents now live in Lake the Ozarks and Missouri. They don't really get snow down there. - Did you gotta go find it? - I shot righteous gemstones in Charleston. - They don't get snow. - Yeah. - So I've been, I've been living a snow-free lifestyle for a few years. - Toffee. - Hey, toffee. - That's the life for me as well. - I like, I like the sun. - I like warm. - Oh, have we chased the snow? - I like sitting in a warm place with the snow outside, Looking out the window, just being cozy. Stroking my children. That's where I'm kind of I'm kind of the opposite if I'm in a cold place I like to be really I like to just like sit outside and kind of freeze I'm kind of into that vibe. Mm-hmm, and dude if we ever did this together I'd be inside looking at you Wavon. You could wave at me inside I'll be smoking ciggy's on the balcony. You're inside smoking and Winnipeg. Oh, you have to. Yeah, it's mando Smando mando and there's man at the full-body lotion. Sorry. Um, yeah, so Why what you're seeing? I was like Isaac with the first ever good information. He faced time to me smoking Amazing that's such a blank thing to to be like hey look look at me Look at me. I'm smoking a cigarette. I've never done a call. I should be smoking right now from prison. What's your brand? Marble Reds. Oh, I don't know they're they're air conspirator. I love camel camel cigarettes are just number one I love camel. That's a great shirt. Yeah, camel cigarettes are number one that Turkish blend baby. Mm-hmm. Give it to me Why do you suddenly? You're starting to smoke cigarettes when my father is dying because he smokes cigarettes. Why are you? He doesn't care I was throwing this in dentist of mine's face as it is no no Do you hate my father? What's going on? Oh, no? No, not at all. Hey, you got kids important doesn't like him guy It's that it's important and you know why his voice sounds like that Yeah, well that was kind of the thought behind it too is my character needed to be a little raspy So I thought maybe I could kind of burn out my vote. Yeah, nothing like a week or 10 days of smoking Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Really hit the process 10 days part of the process Why at 40 almost two years old? Do are you a board? By the way, I it's that cold that this dude needs that hot smoke in the lungs No, honestly, it eats you up, dude, you just you just smoke weed or you just just smoke weed breathe There's a lot of weed out here. I don't want to be high though. I just want a little. I want to love zip. Mm-hmm. I want a little zip Mm-hmm cigarettes or cigarettes are they're fun. I'm sorry either of your parents smoked They did yeah, yeah, yeah, not my dad and did you have anyone in your family die of lung cancer? Yes, my uncle Chris. Okay. Well That's why he says I'm a light of a Chris every time is like let me just light one more Chris here Well, he didn't smoke cigarette. Oh, okay, but yeah. Yeah, isn't that what Adam just asked? Well, I said a lung cancer That doesn't necessarily mean you doesn't necessarily, but it usually does it is a huge proponent and all the sit Oh all the cigarette packaging in Canada is absolutely insane. Oh, yeah, it shows the things on it right like it's just Lungs and blood and every filter says every puff is poison kind of fucking cool though. You're sort of selling that dude Yeah, they're like you're smoking the devil's dick and you're like aren't I? Yeah Exactly like It's like fucking slayer sponsors every fucking pack like like the devil's cock I love Heather baby deep throat baby I should make like a like leaning into the cigarette culture of like I know it's bad for me and just call it like coffin nails Like let's just let's go honestly like yes, and to be very sensitive to Adam's father and lung cancer is a terrible terrible terrible thing, but I do feel like cigarettes are kind of They're kind of bouncing back a little right now, and and maybe we shouldn't be glorifying them because they're terrible Why you don't have to be so yeah, we can glorify anything also if you didn't get the memo about Terrible being bad for you. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry Adam's dad's from an era that fucking they pushed it. Yeah, I mean Joe camel Of course cigarettes now if you're smoking we're from that era - we were the ones who were targeted We were the children that Joe was was Pied Piper ain't over to a pack dude But that's is yeah, but Blake see this is where I'm hung up all for you smoking when you're like it's back baby You don't have to do the trendy thing and be you're no longer a youth that needs to be like Trying to do what's cool, and what's hot right now. I'm not smoking cigarettes because it's cool, and it's bouncing bad out of I told you it was a bit of character prep, but also kind of bored Kind of bored looking for something to do. Yeah, we'll do it. Then you just do cocaine do cocaine. Yeah, that's true Thank you. No Adam. I can't just be in Winnipeg in the snow snowed up. I can't be blowing rails left and right is smoking an activity? Yeah It's a good way to be you know kill some time get warm sit out in the snow It but not freeze the dead it for sure doesn't get you warm. It does not get you It feels like it's doing it. No, it feels like it's doing it. It doesn't tailing fire. Why don't you paint? What are you are you working every day or like every other? Are you jerking off enough? Thank you. I honestly, I'm not I'm really not J on that like I'm concerned about you think it's the cold I think my dick is absolutely fucking terrified of of the weather out here. It's completely retreat I'm sitting with a fuck the my dick is smaller than ever right now shave your dick and see what happens You know you get you get one of those like a bags of you get like a bag of rice or corn and you have it. Yeah, and then you put that in the microwave you warm that up you then you then you then you come you place it on your bag of corn and so it really and it warm and let's keep this to a minute and it warms up the area and then that way you've Thought out your dick and it's ready to go. It's ready and then you put your hand on top of it so your hand is ready to go And then you then you the whole wait the plate is set the plate is set for you to J.O. Instead of You see it dude. Wait, wait. And if you're listening at home, don't try this You take some frozen corn. No, not frozen corn. No, no, no, no, just a bag of corn like a cloth bag like a cloth bag like we can Yeah, yeah, like it could be in like a Paper towel. What do we do? It could be in like a fanny pack or it could be in like a Pillow case could be in a pillow or something and then you warm it up So I'm so I'm taking my pillow out of the case I'm I'm filling the case with frozen corn. I'm putting it in the micro it's just it's not even it's not frozen corn It's just corn like you would just buy like like a like a can a can of corn like a New Year of corn Mm-hmm, and then you shut it. You did it's not shocked or like beans or like a like a Or like rocks it could just it could literally be rocks anything that would that would take the heat a year of corn or Some rocks got it. My my child has these things That you that they're called like no sleepies or something and and they're it's filled with like some kind of beads And you put it in the microwave and then you put it in them when they're going to bed and it's warm and it's snuggly and they they Cuttle up to it. Those microwaves are still in there, bro I was thinking for you since you're having a hard time jerking up because you're too cold and you're since said Doing this thing That's really bad for my friend and I don't want him to die of lung cancer You could then just jerk off more by getting yourself a little sleepy You microwave it I got a place it on your feeling that Adam's been using and then you kids and then you put your hand on top of it No, no, I have not used it. I've not used it, but I'm thinking you see Are you seeing the baby's stuff? I've thought that this would be a great idea, but I've not used it It's a moment where he's holding the toy. Yeah, and it's like a slow zoom in and he's just like imagining the possibility There's two. There's a four in the road possible possibilities and I was like feel good. I live in Southern California I'm not cold enough for that. It's fine here. It's like 70 degrees. It's nice Where you're at is so that it's out loud to him. Yeah, yeah, you might you might need to I might send you a little sleepy It's negative 16 volts or whatever whatever the thing is called I it's not called little sleep. It's called something else. I'm gonna send you one of these so you can so you can You know pleasure yourself Friends you can get through the time and so you can get so you can you know I'm not be so bored that you have to smoke cigarettes. Yeah That was the one of the sweetest things you've ever done for me Adam. Thank you. Give me an address I like how we're going from preventing lung cancer to disrupting something with some microwaves all over So if we could if we could get the official name of that product I think that's a good sponsor for the pod and it's probably a huge pivot for them Because they're probably in the market with just for baby toys, but dads can can use them to I promise you if you go to the factory They're making both they're they're already ahead of us. It's two different box. I got a weird Christmas Twix the other day that was like a snowman or something Bit into it guess what it wasn't just bigger and wider it was two when you look at it You can tell it's two Twix cookies packed into one - Repurposed. - Repurposed? - Repurposed. - Repurposed. - Thank you. Upcycled. - Very shaggy, darling. - Good for you though, how was the Twix? - It made me realize this. A Twix is a Twix size for a reason. - Candy critique. - It was just a little too much, too big. - It was just like that, I bet it in half. I'm gonna do it in two bites. That first half bite was just fucking lit me up. - The cause of diarrhea. - I think they're called warmies. I think I found them and I believe they're called warmies. - Warmies. - Take a bite of a warmies. - See what happens? - Warmies, junior microwavable and weighted stuffed animals. - Now you can go, this is dark. - You can cuddle with it, you can cuddle with it, you can keep your hands nice and warm, you can keep your crotch warm. And then what you do is you place the warmie away from yourself, you turn his little head. So you can't see what you're about to do. - We don't want him watching. - You gotta cuddle with it. - And then you could do what you gotta do in order to not be bored in smoke six. - Got you, dude. - Got you, dude. - Dude, thank you. - Got you, dude. - Honestly, that is so cocky. - Brought to you by warmies. - You know, I've never smoked a cigarette. - Never. - Hey, don't start, man, it's a slippery slope. - Don't start. - I like Blake's talking like he's a grizzled bed. He's smoked like 11 cigarettes. - Yeah, don't start. - I also like how you are like, I've never smoked a cigarette. I just smoked weed every day for 10 years. - Every day, gee. - That's great for you. - Smoke weed every day. - It does have healing properties, absolutely. - Well, it does. - And also when you're smoking weed, you take like five, six hits, and then you're good, then you smoke weed. - You smoke cigarettes. - You smoke 10 cigarettes. - One after another after another. - Never good. - Have you chained yet? Have you lit one with a bud? Do they call it a butt? Have you lit one with a butt? - No, I have not. That's a really good idea. That's a really good idea when you're not cool, dude. - Yeah. - Is somebody there on set that smokes that made you go, can I get one of those? And then the next day you showed up with a pad? - Yeah, who inspired you? I know Blake isn't having this original. He must have been hyped by someone else. - Yeah. - That's how he does it. He's got to see someone else look cool. And then he's like, oh shit, I want to look cool. What happened there? - A little bit more. - That's true. - A little bit of that. Tell us the truth. - What are those houses that are like you go to kind of get, right? - Halfway house? - Halfway house, yeah. - Yeah, but, but re, not re, there's another word for it. - Not rehab. It's a halfway house, but like they call it something else. But I think I walked past one of those and I was like, no, that's not what it says on the door. But the coolest dudes are always standing outside of it. - Yeah, I don't know. - Next to a halfway house is what you tell us. - It is, it is. - So, I'm in a weird part of town. - You're halfway to the North Pole, motherfucker. - Yeah, really? - So you walked past a bunch of recovering drug addicts who are trying to get off methamphetamines and they're chain-spoken cigarettes. And you're like, man, I want to be like those guys. - I'm you're free, you're not. - Dude, they were swagged out, dude. They looked tough. - I believe it, yeah, I believe it. - They looked tough. - I bet they looked tough. - I bet they looked tough with the scabs all over their faces because they were scratching themselves. - No, no, these guys were back on the path. They looked good. - Okay, look clean up. - Can you smoke inside? - No. - Come on. - I want to just saying, so you're trying to get out of the cold and you're like, well, let me start a thing that makes me go outside without a hot animal on my lap. - You have to, you can't always be indoor. Otherwise in Winnipeg, you'll never go outside. - I have to find a reason. - You have to find a really good reason. - Like, I grew up in a place that's cold all winter long. The reason is, you go, you heat your car, you run back inside the house, you run, you go, you start your car, you turn the heat up, you run back inside, then you go out to the heated car, then you drive your heated car wherever you're going, then when you're outside is when you park your car and you have to walk into the place that you're going into. - This is the way. - And that's the being outside. - But when do I get fresh air? - What are you talking about fresh air? - I need to go outside. - No, you need fresh air. You gotta go smoke and get fresh air. - Yeah. (laughing) - Well, that's the catch 22. - That is. - I gotta get fresh air. - Catch me outside. - But, you know, I got stay warm. It's really hard, it's hard out here. - Yeah, hard out here. - Like, you're looking at it as a Californian. - I know, it's all I know. - In the winter, there's no fresh air. - But that's so crispy, I love it. - Dude, I was just telling my kids this the other day, during swimming season in high school, 'cause like, it's a Midwest school. So first of all, it's all inside. It's none of this California lockers outside, Bayside high type shit. - Yeah, that's wild. - It's all inside. So during swimming season, you go to school before six when it's still dark out. You go to swim practice, you go right into school, you're inside the whole day for school, you go straight to swim practice after school. When you leave swim practice, it's dark again. You just don't see light. - For months! - It's been months! - That's the life I'm living right now. - Vampire self. It's very much, I don't mean-- - I didn't see no sun. - Well, that's when we were shooting game over, man. - Look at me, I'm pink. - Look at me. - Yeah, you're translucent. Well, when we were shooting game over, man, we would go to work before the sun was up. We worked inside an old ice cream factory. - Right. - So it was so cold outside, which then made it even colder inside. It's a place that was built to keep things frozen. - Right. - And then when we would leave, it was dark again. - And wet. - And wet. - It's a fucking trip. - I don't like that's worse for me. If it's cold and wet, I'd rather it was just cold and snowy, that's kind of fucked. - Yeah. - Cold and wet sucks dick. - Yeah, I don't fuck with that. - What do you do? - Is it in Winnipeg now? It's still early in the season. So it's probably still like beautiful pristine white snow. Or has it already turned to that like brown, dark slush? - Slush the slush? - No, no, no, no, no, it's fresh powder like every day. It snow's every day. And so it's like last night was very beautiful. It was like an icy snow coming down. It was like, it was gorgeous. - Did you gotta get some fucking snow shoes, bro? - I got these vans. I got these vans pretty sick. - The off the wall joints, the like-- - Well, they like have like, they're like Gore-Tech. - Oh, yeah, I got them. - Kick fucking ass, dude. Shout out, man. - Oh, man, I didn't, I didn't. Do I need to put in a MTE? - Well, something. - Yeah, they kill it with these. I'm like hyped with them. - Yeah, those are cool. - I'm usually a Surrell boy, right? - Keep it real. - So real. - Are you hanging with the cast? Is that who you're, you the friended? Are you going out, are you kicking them with them? Is that, yeah, that's my crew, but I mean, again, like now our Fridays are starting to end at like 4 a.m. So like you have Saturday to kind of sleep and then maybe we kick it Sunday and watch football and try to fucking jam our faces with food, but other than that. - And is that hard when you're staying character? Is that hard for you? - Yeah. Well, I'm smoking so many Siggies, I can hardly eat. I don't have an appetite to suppress it. - So wait, first ferment plus, also smoke it six with you. Is that your smoking buddy? Is that what's happening? - For sure. - I know, I know someone else is. - Dude, I know Mick Love and Smoking a Sigg and you're like, "Oh shit, let me bomb one." Trying to be cool seems like he might smoke. - Dude. - That's the meanest thing Durses ever said. - No, he's the man. - What do you mean? - He seems like he might smoke is such a mean thing to say about a person. - I don't think so, I think that it is. - I think a lot of actors still smoke. - Yeah. - They do. - Yeah, they're posters. - And again, it's interesting. - That's their job, their job is to be a poster. - Yeah, it's to post. - Like literally posing. They're like-- - Yes. - Look cool. I just feel like it seems like a guy who you would see outside of a bar smoking and you'd go, "Wow, that fucking Mick Love and Smoking." - He doesn't smoke. - He doesn't smoke. - He doesn't smoke. He doesn't smoke CVs. - Tasty! (upbeat music) - So so you're the only cast member that is decided to wear dresses if you're robbing a convenience store and smoke cigarettes, you're right. - Okay, well I'm the one who hangs out at the halfway house. I don't really hang with the cast. I hang out on the stoop with the halfway boys, the real run around crew, murder peg in the building. - Do you think we're out here? - Do they call it that? - Yes, sir, come on. - Because one guy got shot like five years ago there. - No, dude, no, no, it's kind of low key like the murder capital of Canada, like it's-- - Okay, but dude, we're from America, Jack. - I know, we're absolutely fucking insane. - But more people got killed in my high school than how many people are getting killed in Winnipeg a year? - I don't remember, I think like 16 or something, but it's a pretty big amount. - Adam, do you want to make up any numbers about anything or what? - Yeah, I think 16 or something. - Oh, you're grilling me. - You're grilling me, and I'm just asking, and you could say, I don't know. - If I'm right, no, I refuse. - That's not good radio. I gotta take a guess. - That's true. - Adam. - Adam just ordered a bunch of those hot lap things. (laughing) - This dude is so busy over here, I'm like this. - No, I looked up murder peg. And so murder peg, it was coined murder peg. It refers to Jeremy Scabicki, serial murders involving the deaths of four indigenous women in 2022. So, hey, that's just a bogus. I don't know that situation. So, that's terrible. I thought it was about like gangs. There's like way to be like kind of a fucking bummer, a downer, dude. Murder. It's really insensitive. Yeah. I thought it was more about like there are like indigenous gangs out here like that, you know. Well, here we go. Winnipegs are 45 homicides. Yeah. It's kind of, it's kind of a big number for candidates. Manitoba have the highest provincial rate through them. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. 43. That's 40 more than I thought it was. Yeah. It's, it's real. It's real. Then stop pointing the fingers, Canada. Yeah. This is on you, Canada. Say it. No, but, hey, I don't want to, you know, I'm not trying to, I'm not here to call Winnipeg a dangerous place. It's very, it's very nice and I walk everywhere and you said, but you said it was gangs. There are. Well, yeah, but, but when you're there, you've been there for like three weeks and you're already dressing like you're out in a convenience store. Well, and you're smoking six. I feel like this is a bad influence on my boy Blake. Must be the culture. Yeah. The culture is you're up there ripping six hanging out at halfway houses. Right. Winnipeg, if you listen, don't let my guy near the res, please. It's all we know. It's all we know, baby. It's all we know. Oh, God. God. God is tripling down. And fat boys, I'd be bustin' fat boys every day. What even is that? What is bustin' a fat boy? Is that like a warme? What is that? Yeah. If it's not putin' a warme on your lap and jerking off afterwards, I don't want to hear it. Fat boys are chilly burgers, but dude, there's this place here. You guys, I'm not even kidding. On some Geiffie airy shit, VJ's driving VJ's has, it's probably one of the top five burgers I've ever had in my life. Really? This chilly burger, fucking absolutely. Do too. No. I know. Okay. I know. You hear chilly burger. I hear chilly burger and I go, no thanks. You say, Tommy's, you're like, it's like, it's just gonna be a sloppy, the chili's the only thing you taste, it's different, man. It's like, the chili isn't sloppy, it's almost like beat, it just makes the burger more beefier. And the lettuce is all shredded and delicious, it is so good. You bring me one back? Okay. So VJ's is just a dive, a drive-in, like little hut. It is literally a hut where these old women forge the most beautiful burgers you will ever sink your teeth into. Okay. I don't like how you said women, but yeah, it sounds good. Yeah, you said women, just how you brought it up. Yeah. You said old women. Dude, women. Dude, they are like these gnarled burger witches. They are. Stop. Okay. Alright. They are. They are, it's like a covenant of meat slinging, you know, wizard women, dude. Are they trying to fadden you up and put you in the oven? What's happening? It's like breadcrumbs on the way in. Yeah, like they get you in real quick, they get you out real, it feels like console and Gretel. I'm telling you, this place is legendary, dude. It's off the fucking hook, dude. I like it. And I love your love of Winnipeg, so are you gonna move there? Are you thinking about moving the family or at least get property? You have to get property. I've been looking some places. Well, whenever I'm literally, whenever I shoot anywhere, there's yet to be a place that I've shot a thing at, if I'm there for more than like two weeks, I'm like, I should probably get a spot here, hunker down. But I've never shot anywhere as shitty as Winnipeg, so, dude, there's a charm. There's a charm. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I could do it. I don't know if the kids can handle it to be honest. So you don't believe in your children? Are there children there or what? When you see children out and about, at least me, I get super pumped. I'm like, yes, these are some fucking survival out here, dude. Stay in school. Keep on keeping on kids. I mean, dude, isn't it amazing how it's always that guy, who has that message, who's like, don't do drugs, and you're like, obviously, yeah, a message received. Well, he's like, don't be like me, I made all the wrong decisions. And Blake's like, he sees that same guy. And at almost 42 years old, he's like, I'm going to be like him. Yeah. That's so cool you have one of two different shoes. I'm going to take that style. That's cool. I found these weeks apart. No, no, but I like the way it looks. I'm going to do that. Wait, are cigarettes back? Wait. Is methamphetamine back? Oh, my God. Dude, I will say I'm like buying a lot of like workwear too, like high-vis stuff. So I'm like, I'm going to come home neon orange. What is the brand up there for workwear? Dude. You want to hear it? Oh, yeah. That's what he asked. I think that's just my whole, my whole closet is about to be tough. Yeah. Love it. Great. Tough duck, bro. All in. I'm going all in. So workwear. So you're, you like to play pretend and play dress up as if you're a working man? Yeah. Let me feel your hands. Who's your bitch? Yeah. Yeah. Blake, a guy who's never done like a day of hard labor in his life, you're dressing up as if you're a working man now, man of the people. I look like a poor, so man, but you've never had. So what is the best, not the best, so out of workwear, what do we prefer here, guys? Well, I mean, car heart is obviously leading the way with. And are they mentioning car heart? I think they are. And then diggies is more west coast. And of course, no, Ben Davis is the old, Ben Davis is where I always just saw like skateboard wearing. And I guess I didn't realize it was workwear. No, so it's a workwear. It's a workwear. So this is, we're talking just fashion now. No, we're talking more. We're talking. Yeah. We're talking workwear, brother. This isn't fashion. This is for going to work. I like this stuff because whenever my job is acting, when you go to work, you go to work. You go to a place where they put makeup on you. They do your hair. Someone brings you your omelet in the morning. Oh, that's too hot. So like, would you want an acai bowl? Absolutely. And then you have to be head to toe workwear. You so absolutely. You have to show up in your tough duck workwear to the place where they're going to pamper you and treat you like a little prince. And then when you're done, you put your workwear back on. And after you put on your acting clothes, whatever wardrobe that they have you in, then you put your tough duck stuff back on and then you smoke cigarettes on the way. All right. That's a wrap. He's been a hard day at work. All we know, brother. It's all we know, brother. Oh, no. Hey, I think we've only got one more take out of Blake. He just lit up his cigarette. You always hear stories about like when some actor in the 60s had his martini brought in. It was like production knew like he was done for the day. Was it that was that was like the rad pack guys is they, they literally only had eight hour work days, which I feel like most people, yeah, it's most people are like, yeah, it's eight hour work day. No, an actor's work day is 12 to 14 hours a day every, every day. So an eight hour day sounds crazy, but they would do it and at five PM every day, they would bring in their martinis. The best. The Sinatra is that's guys it would bring in their martinis. And that's when they knew was the last day. And they call it. Is that why they call them? Yeah. The last shot of the day was they're drinking their martinis. They're, we're done after this. That's fucking cool. I don't know if this is true, but William Atherton who played my father on workaholics of Die Hard Ghostbusters, biodome fame, the man he was saying that it, you know, because you talk with these old actors and it's just the fucking greatest, like, you hear the cool stories. And he's like, you know, it used to be eight hours, but then the union, like the transpose guys and all that kind of stuff, they wanted to kind of race to getting their hours for retirement packages. So they pushed for it to be 10 hours. And then it became 10 hours somewhere in like the 70s or 80s. And then they pushed for it to be 12, because these dudes are just like, yo, I want to bang out 15 years and then just go retired to somewhere where I have a boat. Yeah. And I don't know if that's true, but like eight hours sounds awesome. Oh, eight hours should be great. Yeah, but also would you, you, you wouldn't get anything done, right? Holy shit. No, you work hard. You move faster. You get it done. You go home. No. No, that's not true. What do you mean? I just did this. I just did this. French hours, then it's the same shit. What's French hours where you just go through lunch, but they like come by and feed you. Yeah. We've done that before. Yeah, you know what that is. Yeah, I, I forgot what it was. That's a really funny. Like why is it called French hours? I'll give you one guess. Yeah. So that's how they did it in France. Yeah. There you go. Bingo. In surveys. Because it's fucking stupid. Cause it's fucking stupid. Freedom fries. You know, I just did it on, on gemstones where we would do 10 hour work days. And, and would only take 30 minute lunches and, you know, yeah, I got it. It sucked. It sucked. Tell me more. I mean, it was great like way to live a lot. but what else are we doing? - A thing that usually should take four to five months took seven to eight months. So you're there, you're on location for another several months because you're not able to get everything done. - I'm with you, Adam. Like if we're out here, if we're doing it, fucking, let's just fucking do it. Let's just grind. - It's different. It would be different if everything shot in LA where we all live. - Right, and we go to our families. - 'Cause then you go home, you go to your families, but I'm like, I'm not trying to be on location for seven or eight months. - Yeah. - And I'm like, you know, we wrap early. I'm just, I'm just back in the streets. - Yeah, like just back in the streets. - I'm just, I'm just, I'm just back at work. - Where? - I'm working harder offset than on, you know what I mean, brother? - Nope. I will say I did look up these tough duck jackets, dude. - If you want to get dope, right? - If you want to get me a gift, give me a WJ-31 duck-chore jacket. - Black, medium, thanks, wife. - Yep. - You know she knows she reads. - Duck, dude. - Oh, by the way, their size game, small medium, large, extra large, two X-L, three X-L, four X-L, five X-L, and then they have something called M-T. I don't even know what that is. Then L-T, X-L-T, then two X-L-T, it's long tall. - I believe it. - Three X-L-T. I mean, those are some sizes. - I think it's long and tall. Ain't nobody that big. - I went to go buy a jacket, but even the large is larger than a normal large, so. - That's how they have to size it for workwear. - Yeah, there was no fit in me. - Island medium car heart. - Yeah. - So if I were to get a medium, would that be too big for me? Should I go small on a tough duck? - I don't know, how many energy drinks are we doing here? - I mean, I don't know, because there's parts in me, that's not that small, although I'm not looking at that. - There's parts in me that aren't that small. - There's Cohen also. - You can say there's parts in me that aren't that small, but you're arm, yeah? - It's not my dick. - I don't like that. - Is it looking big? - No, it's not really. - I was kind of-- - Not really, it's not jumping off the zoom. - I think it is, dude, and I think it's the camera. - Well, compared to you, but-- - Sure, yeah. - It's not jumping off the-- - Was it the biggest arms in the lemmings, yeah? - I will. - It's really not jumping off the zoom. - I mean, it is, it's off-putting, it doesn't look good. I don't know, I don't know, I think it's just doing something. - Not the biggest it's ever been, but, you know. - I'll get back there. - Any tapex and apologies, any epic slams today, boys. - I would like to say, happy new years. We didn't really, we didn't really get any new years, and what we're doing. - And is it happy new year, or is it happy new year? - Yeah, that's the way to tell. You know what I'm doing, is I'm going to Vegas. Nebraska is you playing Utah in the Vegas Bowl, and on New Year's Eve. - That'll be a blast. - What a fun thing to go do. - Nice. - Yeah, that will be a blast. I am excited about that for you. - Speaking of football, I'll give a little football shout-out to the Frickin Hoosiers, my brother went to Indiana. They're on a lifetime run right now. - Yeah, they're coming to the Rose Bowl. I hope they win. I went down to Indiana to Bloomington a few times. Holy shit. - Oh yeah, that place goes off. - Party Central, yeah. - I would go for a little 500. I think we've covered this, but it's like a bike race they do. There's a movie about it from the 80s, but it's a whole 'nother level now. It's a true week long. - Trow down. - Trow down, baby. - Okay, I like that on my guess. - Yeah. - I'll just take that back. So I wish I could take back all those cigarettes I've smoked at 'em's right. It's terrible for you. You know, don't start the habit. It's not a game. It's not a game out there. It's a lifestyle and it's a bad lifestyle. - Okay. - Don't smoke cigarettes kids. - You are the guy. - Start your school. You're being the guy. - You're four year old men thinking about, or 40 year old men thinking about starting, if you're 40 years old and you're thinking about starting smoking, don't do it. - Show respect to your parents. - Yeah, because you saw a recovering addict smoking cigarettes and you thought he looked cool. - It's not cool, man. - Basically don't do anything because you think it looks cool. - Pick your heroes based on what? - On them mean good at something? - Oh, yeah. - Or good people or nice, or? - Yeah. - Yeah, good people. - Yeah, kind. - Sure. - Yeah, those are the values you want to look for. - Or muscles. - Yeah. - If they're jacks or muscles, or just straight up jack muscles. - There's my hero. - That's cool too. - Hey, there's my hero. - There's people who are my hero. - I catch the light right. - Oh, tooth. - Hey, I got takebacks. I just look, I hope people know we're not going in on Winnipeg. It sounds cool. I want to try this burger you're talking about. - Yeah. - Sounds like ass, but you had me at gnarled witch's finger. (laughing) - I don't know if you have any taste. - VJ's drive in, you click on the link. It looks like a place I would love. It definitely looks like a place I would love. - Oh, it's so good. - This little shack in the middle of the parking lot. I'm like, that seems like a burger stand. - I'd like to go too. - It's still good. - In no way am I dunking on Winnipeg. Winnipeg fucking rocks. Shout out to Crumb Queen. Awesome donut. - I'm sure they love that you call it murder-tonka or whatever the fuck you're calling it. - Murder-peg, murder-peg. Which is about these four women being brutally murdered. - I saw it on a YouTube video about northern indigenous gangs. I thought it was a cool thing. - He was hype on it. - He's trying to buy merch. - Yeah. - He's like murder-peg, okay. Is that like a regular label? Can I buy some murder-peg? - That would be sick. That's a great murder that comes about. - VJ's through Crumb Queen. Hogi boys stand up. Winnipeg, I'm still here, and we're gonna get it in. - Happy New Year, everyone. - Happy New Year, Happy New Year. - Happy New Year. - That's it, that was it. - Happy New Year. - This is important. - This is important. - Thank you guys. - Hey guys. I'll see you next year. (laughing) - This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.