Ep 275: Simon Rex - Mark Normand & Sam Morril

Yeah man. Hey, we're here. We might be drunk folks. I might be hungover. Oh good. Well, that's you're in the right place. I'm feeling it, dude. We're gonna have a cocktail. Wow, look at that. Noire, Florida. You're good. You're a good photographer. Hey, thanks. Love the lights. Love the sold out. Great. We show the Tampa theater. Wow, look at that suit. Yeah, we had a good time, man. Wow, that's a great shot. Yeah, he got some great shots. I was, I feel like I got it Thursday. So first show, we had three shows, two Friday, one Thursday. I was like, I got it Thursday and then the early show Friday was even better. And I was like, oh, that's the, I'm not gonna top that show. And I was right. The late show Friday was a little stiff. Not bad, but not like at the level. Yeah, early show. I was like, oh, this is what I want on every joke. That's nice. Nice to get it early too. Yes, because I've had the one where you get it on the last show. And you're like, thank god, we got that one. I know, yeah, I was, I was, I started definitely pounding a little more bodega cat in between those shows because I'm good. Yeah, yeah. Does that affect your performance if the crowd isn't giving you? Of course. Yeah. I mean, if you're fucking a girl, she's just laying there. It ain't great. That's perfect. You almost ran the faking because at least then it gets your ego up. Although Cosby is probably the same either way because he's kind of a slow sit on the stool type of guy. So either way, it's like, I don't need any energy. I can handle this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. No, I think, uh, yeah, I need energy. I need, I mean, it's so, and, and yeah, I slow down when they're slow. And then you just kind of get worse laughs. I think you can't really build momentum. Right. Make the mistake of then going too fast. Either way, it adapts. It's not good. Now, what is this? Like your six hour? Something like that. I don't know. Do you feed, do you have any taping nerve still? No, I'm dude. That's nice. I do feel like with this one, I ran it so much, leading into it that it got like started Carnegie Hall in December. And I feel like it's my friend saw it in Stanford like two weeks ago and he was like, oh, it's like a different hour. So he's like, you cut so much fat. So, you know, you do like eight hours nine hours a week on the road and keep running it. And you're like, oh, I'm, you keep believing in that one or two lines that that aren't hitting right? I like that line. But then you're like, let me just try a different line once and you replace it. And it's better. And you're like, fuck, I should have done that a month ago. Totally. You get married to dumb lines. I know that you're like, that's a good line. And it's not. But you ever have that thing on Reddit where someone's like, they quote one of the lines and you're like, that's the one I like. They know what else like. And you're like, that was for that one guy. I'll keep a couple. Okay, okay. You can only have a couple. Once you do too many of those, you become a shitty cop. That's a good point. Yeah. Because you're just like, yeah, this specials for me. Yeah, it's a fun. We did a little. Wow. Look at that. He looked 10 feet tall there. Yeah, I should have gotten those pants taken in one more time. I think it's a look. I like it. It's a look a little baggy, a little like a, what do you call it? Like old Hollywood suits. Yeah, exactly. And look at this. Hey. Oh, yes, Watson and Vita. We end up having like a three hour breakfast the morning of. I love a three hour breakfast. Love it. Me. It just, yeah, you like, I love when the vibes are so good, no one wants to leave. Yes, yes. That's a real comedy thing. Like I'll get in the green room. I never want to leave it. I know he wants us to do a comedy cruise. He was like, let's do a comedy. It's the only sober guy I know that wants to go on a fucking boat. All right. He was like, would you do it? And I'm like, honestly, no. And then he told me he has jessel neck and he said, I'd need saudi money. That's a great line. Saudi on the seas. But I was like, dude, I hate, I'm not a boat. You hate boats, right? I've done two of them and I get to start crazy. Just staring at that little porthole, looking at just vast ocean. Who the hell's this? The other cruise. They're fine. I did the Bert one and I just drank the whole time. That's how I got through it. Oh God. It's it's brutal. And the hang helps. Well, they asked me to do birds. His manager was a lot. And she was like, demanding. I give an answer a year out, whether or not I do it. Yes. And I was puking. It was I had gone out with Julian Edelman the night before. We were getting it was like the last night of our podcast together. We got fucking blitzed. I remember this night puking all day. And she goes, I need an answer today. And I was like, well, if it's today, it's no. I'm not going to I'm not going to agree to a Bert cruise while I'm puking. It's not happening. Yeah, exactly. That's like going Epstein's island while I'm at the playground. But yeah, that's enough. Bert's doing another thing in the Ozarks. What? Yeah, it's called comedy on the lake. And they need an answer. And I was like, ah, and I was hung over. And I was like, I don't know if I can do it. Comedy on the lakes. It's one method in those parts. Oh, yeah. But it's one show and just party on a lake and a boat. You know, water world, whatever the hell. And I just was like, I got a kid now. I don't know. I can't be drowning in an ocean or a lake while hung over. I never thought I'd see the day. I know. And I turned down a gig that we need confetti to fall down. Yes. Well, I had a ton of other gigs around. It was too much. There you go, Peters. Timing. Comedy's all about timing. Yeah, turn it down. But you remember in Dublin, for that festival, we'd me, you Colin Quinn, Nate, Nate would all meet Chris D. Chris D. Rachel. We spent five hours of this diner. We ended up in this really nice museum. Oh, like the trashy Americans there were Christa Stefano just let's not the loudest fart. And everyone just stares at us and we all started laughing. Yeah. And we're like, wow, we do not belong. Yeah. And that needs sophisticated places. It's stunk too. I remember that part too. That was a crazy American third. Oh, I just realized something. You I just heard your act your whole act for the first time in a long time. Yeah. This weekend. You have an Anne Frank bit. Yeah. And you have an Anne Frank bit. Well, she's a very popular comedy person. She's mentioned a lot. She, uh, she paid her dues so that we could all talk about it. Yeah. Good writer. Good writer. Game recognize game. Hell, yeah. I love the diary. Big fan. And we all lived in small apartments. So we were like, keep it down up there. Yeah. Yeah. My Anne Frank bit took like eight months to perfect. It was such a weird bit for me too. It was it was a blessing that I didn't get led into the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam because being annoyed, I couldn't get in. I was like, Oh, this is clearly a bit. No. Right. Right. But yeah, how long is your bit? 30 seconds. It's just a quick like two liner. Yeah. I mean, you got to have got to have everything, man. There's a every go over the whole hour. You're like, it's that's the crazy thing about taping as you're like, I want this part to pop. I want this part to pop. I have little lines that if they don't get a line, I kind of write off the crowd. Oh, yeah, like a pop from just even a setup that I was that should hit. And if it doesn't hit, I'm like, fuck, they're gonna, they're gonna be dumb. I know. I have a lot of those too. You want every line to hit. And they've hit before. So you're like, come on, hit last time. You got to hit this time. Oh, dude. Yeah. But where were you? Were you here this weekend? No, I had a wacky one. I went to, I did Club Shay Shay in Vegas. I can tell you it's crazy. It's in Vegas. Well, he used to be in LA. And it got too expensive. So he moved to Vegas. Damn, I got one who's losing everybody, dude. They really a Spielberg left Zuckerberg. Yeah. Yeah. I heard a baseball player was supposed to sign for San Diego Padres. And he was like, Tacas are too high. I'm signing back in Arizona. Whoa. Like he turned down a whole rather loose. Exactly. I'd rather never win a world series. Wow. And he's dodger, guys don't give a shit because they're overpaying anyway. But San Diego's a great city. I'd love to live in San Diego, but the tax is they take half of it. Yeah. It's crazy. He live in New York. I know. It's a nightmare. Crazy. So how is Shay Shay? Oh, man. Well, first off, I flew to Vegas. I landed at 1230. And his pod was at two. So I was like, great. I'll rent a car and buzz right over. Flight delayed. So I was the white guy late to the black pod. Tables have turned. And he was a little miffed, I think. He was annoyed that you were late. I was like 40 minutes late. And he was just sitting there. Like, I got here too. And I'm like, the flight was delayed. What do you want for me? I flew here for you. But um, he's a he's a pro. He's a whole family. He probably would have been like, you should have flown in the night before for me. I know. I know. But he was cool. And I got to tell you, right when that camera turned on, he was killing. He was charming. He was on. He did his homework. He had great questions for me. I was like, how'd you know that? You miss spoke a couple of times, but you have Tourette. So it's not that I made that joke too. Yeah. He died. He gave me the. I called him Sharpie. I made fun of his Lulu lemon outfits. Damn. And we had a great time. The only thing we got into it on the black national anthem. Okay. Because I was like, I think it's weird. Like, let's come together and have one anthem. And he's like, well, the history. And I'm like, well, let's make a new one. I don't like to. And I'm like, what about an Asian anthem? What about a handicap anthem? And he was like, I don't know. You're crazy. But other than that, it was it was flawless. A lot of laughs. That's huge. It's a big one. We had a good time. And then I got drunk on Kovacier. And then yeah. Well, I drank. He didn't. And then because it's it's sitting right there. I told my bodega cat. I wore the bodega cat shirt. Yeah. So hopefully that helps. I don't know if I've ever been Kovacier drunk. Yeah. It was weird. I started wrapping and my dick grew. We had a great time. He's a cool dude. And a great interviewer. I was very impressed. And then I kind of stuff that it was like, what's a good question? Like, he asked me about my bed wedding, my childhood. Like, he's like, did you must have had trauma if you did this and that? I was like, he was like a therapist. He's got the tie down the NFL. And he's like, are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Oh, yeah. I made some CTE jokes. We had a good time. Damn. He looked. I mean, look, he's a tight end. You know, else was a tight end? Fucking Aaron Hernandez. Some hits. I can't fuck the brain up. I don't know. Well, I don't know enough about it, but Goddamn. Well, I choked. No, but, yeah. Well, he was hung. He hung himself. Yeah. Oh, boy. Any, any of the big day. Oh, really? Well, I'm probably. No, but no, he, yeah, he hung himself. Damn. Hernandez was gay. Oh, wow. And he murdered someone in college. Lock going on. What the fuck? It was like too much to keep track of. Yeah. Wow. And he was a Bronco. No, a shot was in a raven. Got it. But Hernandez was a Patriot. Patriot, damn. You guys in this country. And he killed his girlfriend? He killed a guy. I guess it was like some gangster shit. I don't know. He killed somebody in college, too. I didn't drive by. Really? Yeah, watch the doc. It's insane. Whoa. I didn't watch. I remember that. Yeah, he had two kills. Oh, more kills. Like three rings. [LAUGHTER] By the way, there was a shooter in Austin. My big tweet was, uh, finally, someone had Austin killed, but still just for three people. Wow. That's solid. I had deleted it because I didn't want to get the whole thing started. So you re-taught it on the talk. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Property of all of them. But yeah. So a great weekend, I did a rock show at the end of my-- so I had an opener. And he's like, I see you're in Vegas. You want to do a stand-up set? I think you did a show with Chris Rock. No, no. I did a show at a rock club. And then drove to Flagstaffer's own, did a show there, and then drove to Tucson, did a casino, and flew home. Damn, it's just three nights. Three nights, yeah. A lot of driving. That's a lot. Were you solo? You had someone with you. I had an opener with me, but boy, we did it up in Vegas. Went to bed at 6.30. Just kept gambling, which is 9.30 in New Yorktown. What were you playing? Just roulette and blackjack. Just the drinks kept flowing. It was wild. I don't think I've ever played roulette. But that's the best game, is it? Oh, yeah, 'cause there's no math. It's all about the ball. You don't have to do card thinking. I'm so bad at game. I get to a point where like, you know, at a certain point, I'm just like, fuck it all on one hand. I just get bored and I just throw everything down. But that's why you lose. I'll be like, fuck it. I don't give a shit. Yeah. You just give yourself an allotment. I'm okay losing this shit. Yes, yes, exactly. But my opener, he's a pro. He was up 4 grand. What? Yeah, he's good. So we had a nice, like, swingers breakfast, you know, with the sun coming up, it was great. Damn. Yeah. I remember a town I pulled an all night or like that once. And it was like one of the best nights, both one like 1,500 or so. Hell yeah. Nice, nice night. Yeah. Well, Flagstaff, underrated town. I've never been. Crunchy little mountain town on the middle of Arizona. Really cool. I gotta do more shit like that. I literally have nothing on my fucking schedule right now. But that's the first time. Take a breather. I'm taking a breather. Me too. No, you're not. No, I'm lighter. I got it. I think it'll be, get some more stories. You figure like a lot of my act is just me doing dumb drunk shit. Sure. And you're turning into a story. So I'm like, I gotta go do some more dumb drunk shit. Hell yeah. Yeah. It helps. It helps to make up some bad decisions. My nephew is 16, never had a sip of alcohol. And I'm like, you're fucking crazy. My whole teens, I was drunk. I don't remember any of it. So now we're comparing. We're doing this thing where I'm like, you have no friends. You're a virgin. And you play video games all day. And he's like, lay off, man. Yeah. Like you could use a drink. He hangs himself because you keep saying this to him. Well, no, I was the same way. I was like, we all got hammered all the time. We were like, we're bad kids. Yeah. That's what you did. You just got drunk. That's all we had, exactly. But then you reviewed all these studies and you're like, it's probably not good for your brain's development to be getting, you know, just pounding 40s when you're 14. That's true. That's true. But if you got no friends. They're still pussy's. Yeah. But he's like, well, it's, I'm not a very social guy. I'm like, I'm not either. That's why I drank. So like, I'm trying to explain to him that drinking is a way to make friends and meet people get laid, maybe. Well, now he's an alcoholic and it's all thanks to him. Yeah. He got to do what I recently. But I'm with you, dude. Get out there and have some, like, you don't have to get fucking lit up, but learn your limits, man. Yes. And also, if it makes you more social, it's better than just hiding behind a screen. Exactly. You don't have to drink. You do other stuff. And you know what, that's okay and heroin. There's other stuff you can do. Uh-huh. Please. And it's healthy. Like, socializing is good for you. So like, I know drinking is unhealthy, but so is staring at a screen for 10 years. Agreed. We don't know the mental impact. Exactly. You know. Exactly. And also, this shit will get you laid sometime. Right, right. There's women out there. Yeah. Go meet them. It's fun. It's fun to make some mistakes. Exactly. You're going to have to figure out the balance though as a parent. That's true. Are you going to be a strict parent? Are you going to let your kid run wild? Yes. So hard. He's a strict, like, if he comes home drunk and he's like, you know, falling down, you go, you punish him, but you also know, like, this is not weird. Like, if you catch two years old, he's already doing it. It's for steps. He tripped. Yeah. Ooh. That was very Rodney. That was for steps. I tripped. Oh. I think I drink too much. I think you're in sample. They found an olive. All right. But yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go. It's like you catch your kid jerk it off. You don't go, what the fuck are you doing? Are you joining in? And you fuck him? Yeah. That's how you do it. You cut the balls. Huge balls with my son. Really huge balls? Yeah. Well, I think the ball bag just comes out the, it comes out full size out of the gate. Really? The dick grows. Hopefully. Yeah. God. That's the thing to do about the balls is like having two big balls is, it's bad. It's like having massive quads. Just make the dick look smaller by comparison, you know? You hear that, Ari? So this is crazy. I was talking to a fellow comedian. I'm not going to say who. And I was like, yeah, my kid's dick is tiny. I'm a little worried. And he was like, my kid's dick is tiny, too. I'm worried. I was like, oh, yeah. What's your wife do? And he's like, well, she's Asian. I'm like, oh, you got to, you got to tell me that first. You got an Asian wife. No wonder. You're getting some jeans stuff in there. No, they respond to over the tiny dick or the husbands. That's good point. I mean, I don't know. I figured you put some Asian in there. It's going to affect it. And it can be smart. So it's a good and the bad. Get in Yang. There's got to be some Asian. That's a massive dog zoo. I'm looking at it. Hold it up. Don't act like you don't have a bookmark. But I mean, but then you're like a star. You're like a fucking rock star. That's true. Because you're like, oh, yeah. It's like a miss. It's like a really good misdirect. Right. You take your pants off and you're like, huh? Yes. It's like a white guy who can dance. Hey. That's fucking good. That looks fake. That's gotta be it. A.I. Asian image. Okay. Okay. Diggle. All right. I mean, it's not the biggest dog. All right. But it's above average. No. I'm ducked on Peter said. That's a joke from the 80s. That our joke. So I learned something about the ball sack since we're talking about it. Please. I like that you're saying it like we're an NPR. A lot of people don't know this, but the history of the ball sack. Today on delicious balls. Um, that seam on your balls. Yes. Is the labia. It just gets sealed up on a guy. All right. I'll see you guys later. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. They sew it up. No, just naturally it naturally seals up. And that becomes your testicle sack, but on a lady that is the labia. It stays open. Holy moly. Crazy. Damn. And the clip is the dick. Gotta be. Gotta be. Yeah. That's the sensitive area. Exactly. It's like the head of the dick, but super tiny. Whoa. Oh, let me go go big clips. Oh, like clips are so annoying. Right when you find a clip. This is the best meme of all time. Well, right when you find a clip, it's like, go slower softer. And then after a minute, she's like, go faster harder. And I'm like, damn this clip's crazy. You got to figure this thing out. Yeah. It's like a code. Damn. That's a big clip. That I can find. Yeah. You're just giving them work now to blow shit out. Yeah. True. That's huge. Something like my son's dick. Okay. If you have a really small dick, you should just transition to having like a sick clip. Sick clip. Now, that's the punk band. Yeah. Sick clip. Yeah. I can't find the chords. This is a mess. Yeah. Sick clip. Uh-oh. Is he here? We're now joined by. Woo. Simon Rex, baby. We're joined by our buddy. Three times. Yeah. Okay. Three time champ here. Yeah. Or the three time champ. Yeah. Told you. He has a friendly beef about this because he came on after my first one. It's like, fuck you. Somebody was fighting. Oh. Luckily, he lives in Machu Picchu now. He's doing ayahuasca with a shaman and a bush somewhere. Yeah. He moved off. Oh, he did it again. He always goes off. He's a wandering Jew. He just likes to. Us Jews wander. That's true. Moses, the other guy. He's looking more and more like Moses. Yeah. Yeah. Moses was a Jew, right? Yeah. Jesus was a Jew. Yeah, dude. Yeah. All right. Well, this was funny. Harvey. Yeah. I'm ready more popular than the Gary Vee. Apparently. He's not Jewish, Gary Vee. I don't know. I think his name is Greek. He's saying he was Greek. Ah. It's not always not a Jew. He sure was Greek. Yeah. It's like vintage. Ah. Well, we don't want to talk about it on that episode. Yeah, yeah. All right. We'll keep a boat to sea, though. We're good to be back. Well, we have to say out of the gate, we're. We have a different intro where we're in different outfits that we should address. Oh. Because we had to scrap an episode for the first time in the show's history. We had a guest who request at the behest, where I'm or now, of his PR team, that we scrap. And sometimes someone opens a message with my PR team. You're not a comedian. You've lost the comedian card. He requests that he's a my PR team. Okay. Yeah. I'm a clean comedian. Okay. We've had Jerry on. We've had Nate Bargazion. We've had African on. The publicist on was like, this is too edgy. Too edgy. I didn't even think it was an edgy app. No, I kept it clean with the guy. And we won't say who it is. Okay. But you guys, you guys can figure it out in the. Probably figure it out, but he said scrap it. I don't think I'll figure it out. It's what hurt his brand. He said. So we had to, we had to yank it. the Yankees. So we lost the whole week episode. Yankees. - It's a, it's annoying, it's a waste of time for everybody. - It is a waste of time. I think that's the thing. He at least addressed in the message, I'm aware this is a waste of time. Like, it doesn't make it better. - Right, right, you know? - I fucked your wife, I know that was a bad thing to do to fuck you with, but I want you to know I know it was a bad thing to do. - It's like a land acknowledgement. I'm on stolen land, this is horrible, but you're still on there, you know? - It's easy, Billy Eilish. (laughing) - I think the same PR team who said remove the show is the PR team that said can you have 'em on? - That's a good point. - And I didn't mention that to him in the message. I said, just so you know, you asked to come on. - Yes. - Your people should do their homework. - And you're a comedian on a comedy podcast. What'd you think was gonna happen? What'd you do with his teletubbies, Miss Rachel? We're gonna be comedians. - Well, I'll fill in for him and now I'll have a good time. - Ah! - I didn't know we could ask episodes to be deleted, by the way. I'm gonna call Lewis Gomez and say, "Hey, can you scrap the library?" (laughing) - I'm kidding, Lewis. - Oh, is this a, who is that, who is that? - That's Godfrew Jabore. - Oh, oh, oh. - This is actually Louis Alcindor. - Oh, Louis Alcindor. - Dead naming him, but it is Creme today. - Creme, oh, is it, what's his name? Scored more points yesterday than Kobe? - Yeah, and Sam out of bio. - Which, by the way, what do you know, it's like, a lot of free throws. It wasn't as exciting as Kobe's. - It wasn't sure. - But he did 83 points in the NBA. - And his girlfriend is Asia Wilson, who's the best women's player. Like, they could, they could throw a baby, yeah. - Whoa. - They make a super baby. - Yeah, more of the baby will come out opposite, it'll be like, you know. - It's like Magic Johnson's kid. (laughing) - That kid is unreal. - Do we ever talk about this, Magic Johnson? - But he's like a six foot nine trans kid, so it's, yeah. - Yeah. - So if he did play, if he went to the women's league, he'd dominate. - Yeah, that's true. - So she, I don't know. - Why don't they have trans people? - I'm sure this has been addressed, but Magic Johnson beat AIDS. His name's Magic Johnson. Is that it? - His dick? - Yes, it's Magic, it's Magic. - Yeah. - I wouldn't want to be near that wand, but it is a magical. - And the Sikes. (laughing) - I think he's more magic than the dick. - Rwanda Sikes, so long. (laughing) Oh, look at that. Oh, wow. - Wow. - What a transformation. - Wow. - Transformation, yeah. - Let's transition into the subject of a movement. - Transformers for the meets the AIDS. - So what? (laughing) - Okay, so what were we talking about? - Oh, Bambi, Bamb Margera. - Bambi. - Bambi out of bio. - Out of bio. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Bambi out of bio. - It's 83 points in the NBA, but it's against the Wizard, so it's really. - By the way, say what you will about Muslims. They will ruin a name. Lou Alcindor, cool name. Kareem Abdul-Jabar, what are you doing? - Kareem Abdul-Jabar is a pretty cool name. - Yeah, then you got a cat. - Kareem. - Kareem is cool. - That's a cool name. - Kats Stevens, though, is now usef Islam. - Yeah, like what? - Kats Stevens, what a great name. - Who gets named Cat? - Cat. - I'm going the other way. - Yeah, that's a cool name. - Well, there's another one. - Kashes Clay. - Kashes Clay. - Is the coolest name of the Kashes Clay. - Yeah, but how about this? Pretty bad, eh? - No. - What's up? It's a bodega guy. - Yeah. - I'm Muhammad Ali. Hello. - That's a bodega guy. You don't start shit with him late at night. - No, no, no, no, no. - He's a good call off. - A bodega cat. What's his name, Cat? We had it, right there, Cat. What did you say his name was Cat? - Cat Stevens. - Hey, I like that. - Oh, yeah, exactly. - It's a few so far. - In the Middle East, this is called illegal. - Right. - They can have booze. - Malta Fkahto. - Well, dude. - Yeah, well, I've not seen the new movie yet. I'm going to watch it. - It's all right. - I can't wait to watch it. - Yep. - I'm sorry. - It's okay, don't worry. No one watches movies anymore. Like sending a link to a movie and asking somebody to watch it is just-- - I'm going to watch it in a week. - But it's under 90 minutes. - All right. - Yeah, no worries. - Yeah, no worries. - And I always like your work. - Thank you, man. This one is, it's like a throwback to early 2000s. Like, dude, where's my car? Is that era? - Oh, all right. - Harold and Kumar. And it's basically a conspiracy theory comedy. You were there. We met up in Charlotte. - That's right. - That was that shoot. - With Tony Cavalry. - And he steals the movie. - He's awesome. - For a white guy. It's weird. He stole the movie. But, no, he, he, he's hilarious. - You were pumped to call the Operation Taco Gary. I don't know when this airs, but it'll be streaming. - The trailer looks great. - It's funny. Yeah, and it's on video on demand. I think it'll be Amazon Apple on March 24th. - And there. - So anyone out there, get stoned and watch this movie. And we got Jason Biggs playing himself. Similar to your thing you just did. I don't know if we want to talk about that. But, which is perfect because he was of that era of this throwback we're doing. - I love it. - Yeah, it's a fun conspiracy theory comedy. I have a lot of friends who are conspiracy theorists. And I get to play a conspiracy theorist, which is fun. Because usually they're very adamant about their opinions. - Sure. - Yeah. And, you know, some of them are turning out to be true. - So they're very validated. - Correct. - Yeah, yeah. - Some are true. - I can't believe Marlon Kraft is in this in the neck brace. That's crazy. - Yeah. - Marlon Kraft again. - He's a rapper. - All right. Yeah, no, my thing about conspiracy theories is, if you can't, after you say the earth is flat, if you can't say at the end of that sentence, or maybe I'm wrong, then that's the problem. - I'd be open to being wrong. It's when someone's 100%, it's like they're saying, only the madman is absolutely sure. Like, no, we don't fucking know anything. So that was the fun we had with this one. And the guy, Michael Kwame, who wrote and directed, it started Funny or Die. He was Will Ferrell's writing partner. Really funny, dude. - Cool. - And it's, yeah, it's just a fun one. So. - The cover alone, I'm in. - It's fun. - It looks like fun. She's got a crossbow. - That's right. - That's exciting. - All right. - It looks fun. - All right. - Maybe, maybe never. - I will, dude. - Okay. - I'm rewatching movies. That's the worst part. - I won't watch a new movie, but I watch Ray for no reason. - I'm rewatching. - To start what holds up and you go back and you're like, oh, this comedy isn't funny anymore. Some comedies hold up. But I watch your record, Red Rock West. - Oh, great movie. - Yeah. - Great movie. So I'm going back as well. - No, no great movies. - 90s. - Yeah. - That's a good movie. - Dennis Hopper. - Dennis Hopper. - Nick Cage. Nick Cage is all bub. - Oh. - He was one fine piece of-- - Yes, he was. - Hey. - LFB. - Yeah. - She was hot. - I like to lance that boil. - Wow. - That's a good red rock West. - Wow. - That's a great movie. - Great flick. - Great flick. - That was a tour bus watch. I made everyone watch in their roller. - Dude. - Veter was trying to get people to go to sleep. That fucking content. He's like, come on, he's ready. Not just, he go to sleep. He's trying to rally people to the back. I'm like, not only are you going to be a buzzkill. - Yeah. - You're going to try to kill the vibe on the bus. - Right. - He's like, let's all go to sleep. I was like, fuck you, we're watching the movie. - You want to go sleep? - I think he was lucky to be with you guys. - Oh. - Just kidding. I like the pun. - Yeah. - You're funny. It's an easy joke. - Well, he reluctantly watched and then had to admit it was great. - There you go. - Yeah. - I prefer Gary V about the Veter. - Oh. - Oh, a different person. - Kind of. - Veter. It's a little Gary. - Oh, Gary. - You know Gary. - I'm going to sleep. Why can't he just go to sleep? - That's a peeve. - Yeah. - It's the guy who tries to rally everyone to do what they want. - To do what they want. - Rally and sleep shouldn't be in the same sentence. - Yes. - Good point. - You can't try to go to sleep. That's one of those things. I got to try to go to the bathroom. You're either going to go again. It's just a natural thing. Also, it's my fucking tour. Don't turn them against me. - Yeah. - You're the headbomb. I'm the master in command or motherfucker. - I'm the captain. - I don't even do it. - I'm a man of the people. - Did you guys sleep feet forwards? You have to. You have to because of what's her name's story. Gloria asked the phone. - What happened? - She broke her neck because she put her head facing forward. - The rhythm is going to get. - Your feet forward because if the bus hits something, you're going to break your neck. Look it up. - I know that. - I think it was Gloria asked the phone had a bus accident and almost died. - The Oscars of this weekend. - Oh yeah. - And you're like our film guy. - Yes, I'm up for a couple. - You should have been nominated for Red Red Red Red. - Oh, that's sweet. Thanks for real. - It was so funny. When that happened, there was this buzz around it because all of the Oscar pundits and podcasts were mentioning my name. And even just that alone was like, what the fuck? And then I remember I was scared. It scared me because I was like, fuck, what comes with that? That's a lot. It scared me more than it excited me. And then I remember it like 6 a.m. my agent and my manager was along the phone when they announced the nominees and I didn't get nominated. - And I went right back to bed. - But you should on the ballet and the opera. - That's right. - What does silly thing get you? - What does silly thing to get upset about? But what a nice group to offend because they're probably not going to do anything. - No. - Don't dance angrily. - Don't dance on your head. - I'll tell you that much. Yeah, it's sister's a ballet dancer, too. - Who's his? - Shalame. - I think his mom. - Or is his mom, so. - Shalame, ballet. - Yeah. - It's tippy, tippy day day. - I thought, yeah, I think, you know, it seems like he feels like he could win it this year. But I watched, I rewatched Marty's Supreme and won battle after another and I think Leo Edgesome in performance. - What? - I do. I thought it was funny. Funny. - Yeah. - It's funny. It's tough. It's a tough call. - How about Ethan Hawke and Blue Moon? - I haven't seen it. - Killed it. Killed it. Unreal. - Speaking of Blue Moon, can I have a drink? - Yeah, sure. - I can't believe I'm on, I'm drinking and you're not. This is amazing. - Wow. - End of an era. - What do you like? - I'm going to do a tequila water. - Tequila water. We're on it, baby. - Yeah, baby. I prepared for this. I'm normally not a day drinker. I'm going to go down after this on a man. But. - Nice. - Well, dealer's choice. We got a few to know. - Oh, yeah. - I'll go down on Gary Beater. Look, yeah. So. - I'm going to go way down. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Killed it. Killed it. Killed it. - Is it a little guy? - Yeah. - He's a legend, kind of. - He's like 4-11, the character. So what-- - Like Gary Veter. (laughing) - Yeah, what are your favorite ones this year? - God, it was a good year for movies. That's exciting. - That's true. - I feel like Hollywood sorta got this narrative that it's burning and going down. - Right, yeah. - Which you guys are gonna be so good 'cause you're your own bosses and you guys go on the road and do what you want. - Yeah. - I gotta leave you a little more afraid of the future with AI and no one goes to the movies anymore and you're competing with the phones. So it's exciting to see some movies that are getting people jazzed. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think-- - One battle. - You just gonna probably win a lot of it. But now that what's his name? One for a sinner's, Michael B. Jordan. - He was good. - Yeah, he was good, but I don't think it was as good. And I'm not being racist. I just don't think it was good. - This is the bubble you have to preface that with AI. - I'm kidding. - No, but you can, I've heard a lot of people say that. - I know. - Well, you can't say kidding anymore 'cause kids are offended. - Shut up. - Oh, you scared me there. - Margot Kitter. - Speaking of your kids, how old? - One year and a month. - Hot. - Yeah, it's good. He's got the diaper on. He leaves it low. - Ooh. - It's very sexy. - Yeah. - Wait, wait, hold on. - Wait, okay, let's go back. - Oh, yeah, with the racist thing. You guys are going fast. The racist thing is tough 'cause I would never watch Black Panther. And everybody was like, "What are you racist?" So I'm like, I just don't like comic book movies. - Yeah. - I haven't seen one of Ingers. - I fell asleep and my friend was like, "Waiting me up like it's racist." - Yeah. - Well, you're quiet in the movie theater. That is racist. - That's nice. - Come on. - I think it's tough that black people had to wait so long for superhero franchise 8 to make it past Ant-Man. - Ooh. - Oh, yeah. - That's a long way for their own superhero, man. - Yeah. - And the Beatles. There was a couple of them. - There was a few. - Yeah, a couple. - For a Marvel one, I guess Blade technically. - A Blade? - It's not like a world. - Which is a racist title. Like, what are you saying? - Yeah. - That's more Puerto Rican. - That's true. - Yeah, it's me. - Black Adam. Who's that? - Yeah, that was-- - Yeah, but that was recently. - That was the rock. - The rock. - Oh. - He's black enough. - He's half. - Half-rican. - There you go. Halle Berry Half. - Yeah. - The good half. - Sure. - The low half? - I hope not. I don't want a huge clip. - Yeah. That was another good segment we cut from. Now I'm wondering why I'm realizing why he might have cut this episode. Can we do a huge clip chunk? - Yes! - He like, he like APR people in here. And we're like, what do you think? - A huge clip versus a big clip. And I think they were just sitting there like, what is happening? - I don't remember that. - I think you had to clip it out. - I couldn't find it. - No. - They were not happy. - They were not happy for 51 years. - I don't think we were that bad though. - No. We did do a couple Tourette jokes. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Was that that bad? - No, he's crazy. He's a big quif. - They were gonna find out who this is after the show. - I love these comments. I love Richard Pryor. I love George Carlin. And then they're like, hey, can we delete that? It was a little racy. - Get out of here. - Carlin, by the way, you wanted to delete a line. I'm all for it. - Yeah. - A whole episode. - Yeah, that's weird. - We're busy. - I know. - Carlin's still dead, right? - Still dead. - Still dead. - Still dead, going strong. - Yeah. - He would have been more relevant than ever right now. You go back and watch his stuff. And it's like, oh, this applies to me. - Yeah. And the clips still come up. And they go, here's this abortion clip, here's this government clip, here's this war clip. - That's right. - And the right and the left both claim him, which is fascinating. - I'm getting a tequila water. - Are you honor off the song? - I'll take a smurch. - A smurch? - A smurch? - A smurch. - I got a, I got a recover man. I'm fucking, I haven't even, no coffee is worse than no alcohol. - Do you've had no coffee today? - I can't do it. I've had a coffee in days. - What? - I also had a fucking six a.m. pick up today with no coffee. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - Why are you doing this yourself? So no caffeine or no coffee? - You, you can't have-- - It agitates the fucking ulcer. - So you actually have one, you're not assuming. You went to the doctor. - No, but I've had them before and I know what it is. - You know you bought it. - You're going to let it go away. - What is it? Is that like a hole in your esophagus or something? - Yeah. - Oh my god. - In your stomach. No, not in your esophagus, in your stomach. - Oh. - I think of your stomach. No, it sucks, dude. - And can it heal? - Yeah, I'm hoping it will heal. I'm on preface at 30 and-- - Whoa, 30? - Yeah. (laughs) I'm drinking what? You're just eating clean. It's, one thing I miss about coffee is just kind of timing my shits. - Hmm. - Yeah. Without coffee, you don't know when your shit is going to go. - Your regular. - Yeah. - I can kind of be like, here, I'm having my coffee. - Uh-huh. - Now I'll shit. - Right. - It's anyone's guess now when I'm going to shit during the day. I hate it. - That's true, and I don't feel good until I shit. Once I get the evil out. - I hate shit today. I'm furious. - Oh my god, you're pent up. - I'm pent up. - You do feel better after you drop a dude's, like the toxins come out and you feel better. - 100%. - Yeah. - I'll have brain fog, my eyes are blurry. I'll take a shit and I'm clean. - Yeah, babe. - I'm struggling, dude. The no coffee is getting, we were drunk at a dinner last week and I was like, I can go without booze. - Yes, true. - I can't go without a coffee. - That's true, I remember you say. - And I'm going without both the last few days. It's only been four days, but. - Okay, so I've tried no coffee. That's a day two or three. You're grumpy. You're the headache. - The headaches. - The headaches. - You get the headaches? - Yeah. - I was with the woman. She's right to have sex with me. I said, I'm not in the mood. - I'm headache. (laughs) Oh wait, headache, cured by sex. So suck on that, ladies. - How do you feel your sex? - Well, if you have a headache and you have sex, the headache goes away. - Is that true? - I tried it. - Really? - Yeah, I jerked off, but still. - Well, that's the whole thing as they say. Back in the day, they would pleasure, like Victorian, you know, they would like pleasure women. And that was how they would like deal with them being hysterical. - Wow. - So I'm pretty sure the vibrator was created not for women's pleasure, but so they would stop being crazy. - Wow. - You can look it up. - I don't know how to look it up, but that's amazing. - Victorian, like weird. - I'm gonna get some pretty porn. - Yeah, that's hot. - Those are the good old days, so yeah. - Victorian vibrator. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's hot. I would wanna see that happen. Too bad there wasn't. - Look at that. - Oh my goodness. - That's a fister. Victorian secret. Holy hell. (laughs) - That's crazy. - That's someone that went at the hustler club. - Oh no. - That's rough. - That's like a mace. - It's like a sander, like a belt sander. Good times. - Yeah, dude. Man, look at that. You gotta grind the clip right off with that thing. - What the fuck? - Yeah, that's a power drill. - Yeah. - The polar club vibrators. - I'm not like they developed electricity like five years earlier and they're like, "Make women come." - Yeah, did you have that thing where your mom was like, "That's a massager." She had that big fucking beige wand. - You used to pull it out of your ass, like sorry. (laughs) - Well, I wanna wipe that down. We had the massager was big. Every woman had that big old fat one with the top on it. - Did you guys ever fuck the jacuzzi when you were a kid? - Sure. - The whole would be like, "Oh, yeah." That was good subject. - I never stuck my name in it. That was too intimidating. - Oh, yeah, no, it's kind of the equivalent of a woman using the bathtub faucet. - Yes. - It's like a water source. Speaking of the water source, you guys know that bank terms are all water references. Like, think about, I don't, there's some reason why. Anything with money is a water reference. - Liquid. - Liquid cash flow. There's, for some reason, there's a reason why. - Thanks. - Thanks, whoa. - I think I wrote some of these down 'cause this came up yesterday. I'm like, the boys are gonna like this. - I like it. - For some reason. - This equated sounds like a car. - Overflow cash flow bank currency. - Oh, currency. - There's a bunch of, oh, the current. - Yeah, I see. - I don't know why. Is there a reason why. - Oh, look at that. - There's gonna be a source. - I bet it's all knowledge. - A source. - Tequila water. - A source, yeah, the source. - Thank you. - Here's some tequila water, too. - No ice in this house. - There's no caffeine in the water. - What are we living in? - I'm proud of you. - Wow, it's a cocktail. - I can't give us no ice, this is what it's called. - I'll go no ice. - I'll go no ice. - What is this, Gaza? - Come on, thank you. All right, appreciate it. Sorry. - Oh, yeah, I also, I, New York City, walking around, got here, 75 degrees. This is the best time in New York. I remember when I lived here, that first day of spring, the girls are out in the t-shirts. - Oh. - The mood is good. I'm like, it's, I missed this whole winter you guys had and watching TV. - Two blizzards maybe. - And I gave you a 75 degree weather. I, it was great. - Do you see these people posting videos, too, with their just like, if you weren't here during the winter, then get the fuck out of my car. - No, that's not how it works. You're allowed to, I'm gonna laugh you come visit. - You're allowed to come visit. - Yeah, we don't do that with other stuff. You weren't in the Holocaust, you can't be Jewish now. - I'm so Jewish, I wonder how much the Holocaust. Anyway, that's not a bad joke. - Count it. The first guy to do it 80 years ago, kill it, yeah. - But, you know, it's weird that cleavage makes everybody have, do women know that their cleavage brightens the world up? - Oh, you're so smart. - You're so smart. - You, you love it. You see the cleavage, you're like, hey, it's like, I feel like a, a groundhog. - No, it's great. - A great spring. - I was walking around downtown and the girls are out, and it's beautiful. - Yeah. - But every girl's on their phone, it's like street, it's to talk to a girl on the street as tough these days. - Oh, those days are over. - Hold open. - Thank you, sorry. - I can't, now you've got to follow them for a few blocks. - Yeah. - You've got to follow them right. Wait, was that not a cold open? What do you call it when you go approach? - Icebreaker. - Icebreaker, another water reference cold open. - Yeah, she's, she's, she's a sea. - Okay, sea. - Seaward. - But, yes, it's hot. - Seaward. - Go up and just hit on a woman in 2020. - Do you do that? - I have done that. - Well, you're a hot guy. - I was tall who has a celebrity background. - Yeah, true. So I guess that doesn't hurt. - And we say that like in red rocket. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We'll fake dick, prosthetic. - We'll fake, but it was a good fake dick. (laughing) - Woman after we're dick-baking, be like, eh? - Yeah. - Move your, it's on Netflix now. Go check it out, baby. - It's on Netflix. - Everybody, yeah. - Read by Sean Baker, who won the Oscar. - He won all the Oscars. Yes, there it is. - He did what, Florida Project? - Florida Project, he did Anora, which was his big winner. - Ah, yes. - He did another one called Tangerine. I was shot on an iPhone, which was a, he doesn't miss, I mean, he makes great stuff. - Cool dude. - He's the greatest, just such a sweet guy, Jersey boy, local guy. - Hey, yeah. - And, you know, oh, there's a, - Hunk around. - Yeah, right, there it is, running around with my dick up. - Wow. - Good job. - So I remember when we shot red, right? Oh, sorry, cut you off, right? - Did you get any DMs from women after that? - Yes. - 'Cause they don't know it's fake. Yeah, a lot of people seeing it on Netflix now that never saw it because it's on like the whole page like you're like a dude showing up taking off the lifts. Yeah, right, right. You know, it's, uh, you get no that. Oh, that's it. Oh, man. Don't you usually at him, not the guest? I mix it up. Okay. Okay. I guess it was three episodes on local. It was a big wind up for. Yeah. I won't even register on here. Sorry. No, so wait. What are we talking about? Oh, yeah. Um, what were we talking about? You're dick DM DM. Oh, yeah, you girls will hit you, but you can't do that. That's like, what do they say though? Yeah, you know, be like, oh, I just saw red rocket or hard eyes or whatever, but, you know, you that's weird. You can't actually go meet those people because if you think it's a setup, you're like, oh, this is not. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going to go meet a fan. Well, I think it's worth it. Never done a guy. It's an automatic rule of someone's like a fan. It's like, oh, this is cheating. You know, cheating. Yeah. But I've had a couple of girls tell me later, like actually, I knew who you were from this. I'm like, ah, feel like of course they know you were Felicity. Yeah, that's true. You fucked for Felicity. I fucked Felicity. And at the time, people were mad about that because the whole show, the crux of the show was, is she going to sleep with Brad or Noel, the two main guys? And then it was actually good writing. JJ Abrams wrote that. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, JJ Abrams. And, whoa. And I remember going into. That's great. It's actually funny. I remember going into audition. It was a art. The role was artist. And I'm in the waiting room to go in. It's like 2001. And there's a guy. He did this. A guy brought to the waiting room. An easel. A painting. And he's in the waiting room to get into character. Fucking painting in the waiting room. I remember thinking this fucking asshole. Like, are you really getting into the role? Yeah. And then I went in and booked it. And I didn't have the paint and lobby. You fucking hundreds of actors. Take that Daniel Day Lewis. Exactly. Yeah. It was the actor suck. But you got the role. You were the bad boy. Is that guy a recognizable? I have no idea what. Yeah, probably it's probably Tim at the show. Mario Lopez. You know, but I remember, um, yeah, that show was a big deal. And people would yell at me out the car. It shouldn't have been you. Girls love that show. She also cut her hair. Remember that was a huge deal. She cut her hair. I wasn't even watching the show. And I was pissed. She cut her hair. Yeah. Yeah. No, what the fuck is that? Yeah. I was on set. The day she came and cut her hair without telling production. And the set was all everyone was all like weird. And I'm like, what's going on? They're like, she cut her hair without telling anybody. The producers are pissed. Yeah. Because that was her old thing. Was her angelic hair carry rustle. And she just went with the Bob. Yep. And, um, that was a big deal. And I remember she got in a bunch of trouble for. But they wrote it in. I mean, not trouble. Yeah. They wrote it. They were like, yeah, she's going through some shit. Yeah. That's what world girls do. They either get bangs or kill their husband. Well, I remember when I shot the scene with her because it was like the close set. We had to make out. She had her shirt off and her husband was at work that day. And I'm like, this is such a weird job. I'm like making out with this dude's wife and she's waiting in the other car. He's jerking off in the corner. Yeah. Wow. How about that? And she just won a golden globe. She is a very pretty. She's in that new show with the, uh, where she bangs everybody. Oh, no offense. Uh, I forgot the name of it, but my mom likes it. Hmm. It's like my husbands at every fucking shoot day. Yeah. Just the quarter in a cook chair. By the way, I was watching six degrees of separation the other night. Good movie. And this is JJ Abrams acting. No, no, when I play it real quick, yeah, play. Hey, Willie's remedy. You ever wake up after a night out and do that mental inventory, phones here, wallets here, dignity. We'll circle back. If you're trying to chill out without the hangover horror movie the next morning, Willie's remedy is the move. It's Willie Nelson's THC infused special tonic and let's be honest, if anyone knows how to relax properly, it's Willie. It's a low calorie low sugar comes in five milligram and 10 milligram doses. You can take it as a shot, sip it over ice or throw it in a mocktail. It's got THC CBD CBG, L. Theanine calm clarity of for you. No regrets. No hangover apology tour. Willie sold out three times in the first six months with over 50,000 happy customers, and they just restocked. 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See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information, actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Hell yeah. You give a complete stranger who happens to mention my name, the keys to our house. Wow. Dad, sometimes it's so obvious to me what mom left. I'm so embarrassed to know you. Hmm. This is coming to the keys to a stranger. That's a draw. You're off at your office? Mother told me you beat her. My mom told me you were rotten lover and you drank so much. Your body's not a cheap white wine. Mom said sleeping with you was like sleeping with a salad made of bad dressing. I watched this with my parents. Wow. It was brutal. Yeah, same. Oh, it's one of those movies where you're like, oh, I don't know. That was going to be all this sexual shit. Your parents were just in town for 28 days, 14, 18, 18 days. Yeah, brutal. I feel like I know you're this is one of those what's it called a pair of social relationship? That's right. Where I, and you guys are a pair of douchebags. Yay. That was a low blow. I'll tell you. No, but I know you guys life more than my friends because I'm listening to the pause. I like know what's going on. How? I know your life. Yeah, they were here. They're gone. Thanks God. My dad and my baby are the same now. They both eat soft food. They can't walk. They can't hear. So my baby can hear, but they're most scared of my wife did. Either way, it was awkward. It was a lot going on in my house. It was brutal. And my parents, they never leave. They just stay there. They sit in the living room and read. It is tough when the people at a friend, the common area, I'm common area. It's a big thing. It is because you walk down and you're like, here we go. You can't just go get something out of the fridge. Everything has to be a thing. What are you doing? You hungry? You want me to make you something? Oh my God. I remember having like Craigslist roommates and like, oh, girl, back you go, you like go to the bathroom. And they're like, they're just in the fucking company. You're like, I just made eye contact with a fucking stranger now making eye contact with another stranger. Right. Right. And you pay him a little at the end of the month. Yeah. Who's Craig anyway? Is there a real Craig? Is there a guy named Craig? It's gotta be. Yeah, it's Tom on my space. It's gonna be Craig. Yeah. Pull it up. Pull it up. Is he a real guy? I bet he is. I mean, is he doing well? Boom. Oh, there he is. Craig, you're Mark still alive. Wow. Did he clean up on that? That's a base. He does not look like a guy who would go in Craigslist. No. No, he does. Look at that hat. And scarf. Oh, how about that? More. More. Okay. Can you make money on that? Because it didn't have any ads or anything. They always find the way they find a way. Yeah, he probably got a penny from every table I sold every night. Stan every hookup. I was going to say Rex. We could jump into some Rex. If you want to. Yeah, T Rex Rex Simon Rex. What about this, guys? You know, you ever, because I think collectively we are having memory problems. There's too much information on our phones. And do you ever like? We think of something and you have to Google it. Here's a wreck. I'm back, baby. Wow. That one wasn't that either of us. I sure it down the middle. Yeah, like a centrist. Um, you know, the wreck that I have is try to remember it without Googling it. Even if it takes five minutes, don't go right to the goog. Give it a minute. See if you could access it because you'll get a dopamine hit when you do like that and you're exercising your brain. So don't goog right away. Salah, use your fires. I had one the other day where I asked chat GBT, what should I not be doing in life? And it said using me. Wow. You should chat GBT told me to stop using is like you should struggle. We know it's gonna make you better. Chat GBT is there's people who are probably in toxic relationships who never like maybe they don't talk to their friends about it, but they maybe ask chat GBT all the time. Maybe they're embarrassed to bring this to the friend, but maybe they're talking to chat GBT. Like is it weird that my is it weird that my wife laughs at her boss's jokes and works late and you're like, oh, you never would have asked anyone that. Yeah. But now maybe you get out of that maybe chat GBT is like, yeah, it's fucking weird. You should get out of this relationship, but that didn't exist. Like it wasn't a person to ask that to. Well, they're being sued now because a lot of people are killing themselves because chat GBT was like, oh, maybe it is a good idea. Maybe you should. So well to stay in that same world of recs, I also have another rec I went and got a digital alarm clock. So I don't have to look at my phone when I wake up to see what time it is because then you get sucked right in immediately text messages. There's another go even further put your phone on airplane mode when you go to bed. So that way when you wake up, if you do have to look at your phone, you don't get sucked right in because I think it's I've been working on this one. No coffee for an hour after you do that one. That's hard, but you could do it hour, hour and a half. I'm going to ask you when I get back. Yeah, give yourself an hour. You got to get the natural cord is all right. Yes, yes, juberman over here. And then also don't look at your phone and go right into social media. You're just going to be fucking all day long. You're going to be tapped if you go right to caffeine and phone. Don't let yourself an hour. So Siri set timer one hour and then go on and a coffee. Don't let the phone dictate your day. Yeah, because you wake up and you start going, oh, now the phone's got control of you. You got to control the phone. It's fucked. We're all fucked. So anyway, that's a rec that I got that I thought would be, you know, hopefully people out there, you know, no coffee for an hour, what else? Oh, this is interesting. Suit case. It's a case for a suit. Ah, but we don't think about that. Right. Here's looking at me like you son of a bitch. This is just like a sign for smoke too much for you. Yeah. And it's just like wait a second. See, that's why I lobbed it up. I knew there'd be some. Well, suit case. It's like cupboard, cupboard. We don't think about these. I think about that. You do? Well, suit case. The irony is the suitcase tends to come in a bag. Yeah, you hold that bag up with the hanger on top. It's like cargo. He's on a ship and shipments on the car. What do we do? It's melting. Well, you park on a driveway. You drive on a parkway. I'm out of here. All right. All right. No, no, that's fun. Okay, but these are good little things to notice. Yeah, here's another good one in coffee world. You ever heard of a napachino? Oh, God, I hate it already. Express so shot. Right as you're about to take a nap. No, it doesn't work. Who can nap when they need to? I learned it in Spain where they know their coffee and they know their naps. And you take an espresso shot. As you're going down, you've got a time of perfect. And when you wake up 20 minutes later, Zing, baby, Zing and Zang. It'll never work. It'll never work because you sit there and you go, okay, fall asleep. No, it's a wreck. It's a napachino. It's a wreck. So I want you to try. You can't do it because you can't your brain won't turn. I did it. I did it. I heard it. I heard it. It's a thing. I'm going to go ahead and say this. I don't mean any disrespect. I lose a little respect for nappers. You know, that's the thing. I don't really like a napper. I've never met a napper. When you travel, it's easier. I'm not a napper. I can never shut the brain. I understand. Maybe you got kids. It's different, you know? Yeah. No, I mean, hours are screwed up. But like, I have friends who are like, I took a nap. I'm like, you don't have anything going on in there. Yeah. What's with all these fucking naps? Yeah. Well, the other day I went drinking real hard night, three shows, and I got like an hour sleep, pulled it all nighter. I had to have a nap. Yeah, even the word nap is emasculating. Yeah. You took a little nap. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like a baby term, right? You took a little baby nap. It's true. It's true. You fucking, it's, oh, it's never like, you're never going to see like a long shorman like, how am I going to take a nap? Well, you know what they do. They had power in the front. It's just like that. Power nap. Yeah, but that's like a white collard move. Sure. Sure. I'm going to think of power nap. Yeah. All right. Power nap. Was it, was it powerful? I bought them power nap in this cat nap and in his kidnap. Oh, so if an adult gets kidnapped, is it a kidnap? Oh, that's true. That's what's her name is kidnap, but she's an 88 years old. I think it's so kidnapped. Savannah got three. Yeah. It should be a napping. Did they find her yet? No, she's dead. Oh, shit. But she officially dead. I got it right now. You don't have the authority to call this holly bark. Put me down for a dead man. Okay. He's going to want to scrub the episode. I got I got I got I got a couple of peeps. Well, let me just say this off your off your suitcase. Bring it. I got one that'll rock your tits right off there, Rexie. Dress shoe. Imagine being a foreigner and you're like, dress shoe. So I got to wear a shoe that goes with a dress and a dress or a shoe. And then there's also this dress shirt. It was dressed up like the Canadians call their like their chips with everything on it all dressed. It's dress. Oh, yeah, dress up. Yeah, I think so. But it's a dress. I want to go up a dress as a thing. And then so a dress shoe. It's like a bowl shark. What's what is it? I think it's all right. It's all right. Okay. And then you order some shoes to your address. Sorry. Okay. Um, Jesus. I got to say if you're a foreigner, that would be confused. Or how about this one? Pretty ugly. Oh, she's pretty ugly. Wait a minute. Wait, wait. Pretty ugly. What? Make up your mind here. Dickless. Yeah. It's like a Dodge Ram. Yeah. Dodge Ram. You're ramming it. Ah, all right. Let me get dirty on the line. Wait. Also, uh, you know, the term drag. You know what that comes from? Like a drag. Like that shows drag queen or like your drag. Okay. So it's negative. This is a drag. Well, no, no, no, the drag queen comes from back in the old theater in England. They are the men would wear a dress that played women. And it would drag on the ground. And that's the origin of drag queen. And they wear the outfits. It's from the British. A lot of stuff comes from British. That's true. The origins. A lot of prison origin. Right. That's my wife. She wants a cigarette after sex. She said, no, thanks. One drag is enough. That's a good bill. Cosby. My car's good. Yeah. All right. Sorry. What was your thing? I got a few peeps. Oh, okay. Hit me. Well, one is people who get too annoyed by a fart. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. Have you met these people? I, there's like, oh, oh, what happened? You're like, all right. Calm down. Yeah. You never forgot to eat. You didn't get, well, he just looked annoyed. Yeah. I'm going with the people who get like dramatic over. You've seen it with like, of course, you did it far. You did it to Seinfeld and you took a shit on Sandler's tour. I know too much. Yeah. I shouldn't have done that. That was, that was a working move. Yeah. That's it. That's an always remember. I'm out of the end crash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, no, the people who get, and also want to try to shame the farder. Yeah. It's like, come on. If it's a close group of friends, I'll give it to you, but the people who farted. Yes. Yes. Yes. No, I'm not. Yeah. Motherfucker. And it's going to end. The fart dissipates in a minute and a half. Get out of here. Yeah. I can see the lingered. It's like when people get mad. You haven't seen fill in the blank movies. Yeah. I know. I know. What's your one movie or embarrass you haven't seen Lion King? Not embarrassing. People get upset. Never knock you out with the wind. Based on Hamlist. Speaking of farting. Hey. All right. We're tying things to that. Passing wind. I like it. I can see it. I feel like it's fun. Yeah. I don't think I've seen it. I got another pee for you. All right. This is when you're singing Happy Birthday with my niece. Everyone's singing Happy Birthday. There's always a person that goes and many more. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. She's three. Why are we bringing her death into this? Yeah. I'm hoping she doesn't die. All right. That's what that. Yeah. You're wishing more and many more on channel four. That's what we said. And she's three. She's got many more. There's going to be more way more. And by the way, if you do that and many more to someone who's like 99, it's almost cruel. How many more do that person want? Good point. Right. Also, it shows difference in white people in black. We're right there. Happy birthday. Has the black birthday song go happy birthday to you. It's so much jazz here. Happy birthday to you. That's such a honky square dance. But they got happy birthday. That's different right there. I was at a restaurant last night. I hear a happy birthday. Look over. Lovely black family singing happy birthday. They didn't do your version. They went. Why was that right? Yeah. They went. A restaurant. Whoa. A Chinese restaurant called Tuxedo. There you go. It was white castle. Who knows. But they got they got their own anthem and their own birthday. What's the anthem? The black national anthem. They played at the Super Bowl. I didn't catch it. It was something with Drake. Okay. But yeah, they got I just realized they have two songs of theirs. Great. There you go. Cheers. What a country. All right. You know my peeve. Tell this here. These fucking restaurants with the order of shrimp. They don't take the peel the the tails off. Yeah. Infuriate it. Get the tail out of there. You're already cooking it. You're tossing the salad. There's no way to do it with a knife and fork. Is it you're making my fingers? Good point. Good point. You got to pick it up. Now you're that kind of it's the handle. Is that why they leave it? Why want the fork? I got a salad going. What's with now I got to take the shrimp out, debol it, put it back in, then eat it. I'll give you I'll tell you one further. I even get sometimes a little annoyed when someone hands you the skewer. Take it off the stick. Yeah, yeah, no one's using it for the big top one. Yeah, but it's nice pull you get a good pull. Yeah, you're right after that You got to move you're moving it's finger you're right. Yeah, I'm using the fork Get it all in there no skewer no tail. The tail really bugs me. Yeah, you're already doing everything else just Not that all right shrimp. They say people some people are very anti eating shrimp They're like I mean just like when you look at what they look like they're like the roaches Yeah, like sure sure, but they're fucking good. They're great. Yeah, lobster used to be for like poor people And then he decided to make it fancy now. We're spending $88 a pound. What are we doing exactly? I think lobster is overrated I agree. I agree too much work. It's good spending them as money. I got to do all the fucking work too Yeah, also you dip anything in butter. I could do my my dad's dick in butter. It tastes good. Let's try it. It's pretty good There you go I can't believe it's not dead. Yeah, oh yeah, did I write any peeves? All right, I got one more. Okay. How about this guy the guy who has to let you know? You know, I type something on a text and then I go oh, I spelled I didn't put day. I put say so like oh What say is it coming out and then I go up edit day and he goes oh Shit, I saw it. I saw you made a mistake. I'm like, yeah, I edited it He's like I caught it say say what say what again mother fucker. I wouldn't know cut driver Whatever like we have to dwell on this now. Yeah, why the iPhone is that there's one that always does for me because I Text basketball a lot with my friends and I always type in Yannis the best we're G I and you know G I A and N I S Yeah, and it always types in Johnny apostrophe S Johnny's Johnny's Poe boys. I mean, I have no no one named Johnny with that spelling right G. I I'm never gonna say that and then hey iPhone after I correct it for the third time. Let's just keep it out They stop recorrecting me. Yeah, man's planning me your iPhone Yeah, so yeah, all right, so I hate the guys to let you know he caught the edit. Oh, what a detective here We got Harriet the spy in that was the same person in the comments like when you when you type in the wrong thing Yeah, I saw you fucked up the first. Yeah, same shit Unsend like they freak out like what yeah Yes, you know on the other end. You're like what did I miss did they send a racist me? Why did you guys get action figures? Who did that? She uncends with them like what was it like hoping it was a nude or something like I missed it I should have been on my phone Simon told me to wake up and not look at it Is that real joke world bracket champions? Is that just for fun? That's real, baby. What did you who who voted on that joke world at the page though? Channel amazing. We fallen hard since 23. Yeah, yeah, I blame Gary B No coincidence. I like him too. He was very nice. I do. I I'm pulling for him and unlike other guests so-called influencers. He didn't ask for his episode to be removed That's a peeve. That's a peeve and a half right there. We all got saucy when I said that Go girl. I said it. I don't even contain somebody in the room. You know me. You know You got a peeve of someone in the room. It's it's me or Mark. That's true So yeah friend who credit card swipes you or it's Mark. Flicks you in the balls definitely Mark and then you say something like Hey, do you mind I'm having a little sensitivity and then they'll say something. Hey, how was I supposed to know that? I didn't do that but I have to tell you Not to flick me in the balls Flick me in the ball. I flick your balls. You've done it. That's odd. We're gonna have a sexual harassment suit on this show That's old mark. Yes. I'll do a swipe though. Yeah swipe. I still have a fan up because no one gets hurt. It's a victimless cry No one gets hurt. Peter's is like I felt unsafe in the office No, okay, here's a pet peeve the little white dogs with the crust in their eye those Do we have to have the white dog with the crusty eyes? That's what we should torture terrorists. We should take the crust out Yeah, I can stick it down there. Fuck. That'd be a good. Oh, there we go. Well, that's a butthole. Yeah, but same brown eyes. Yeah, holy yeah, I crossed it. Yeah, why it's got to go wipe it? Yeah, I'm not giving it a hand. Give it a douche. Yeah, I think I wrote a couple down. Oh, yeah What about this one and I just did it when you're talking to they talked to you and you respond to someone and then mid-convo they look at their phone as you're talking to them. That's crazy. Yeah, that's what You son of a bitch. I like it. I got another pet peeve. All right, Afghan hounds look up these fucking ghouls Look at these ghouls. All right, I mean these are fucking brutal. Oh my god What do I know that's what it looks like? She's a bomb in New York. The fucking brutal dog. That's such that it looks like a human You know what a Bowser is. It looks like Sam Elliott in Roadhouse. I was like a Lord of Dern Yes, it's like you know when someone looks like their dog. It's called a Bowser and some people look like their dogs I don't know they call it a Bowser and that definitely looks like a human That's till the sweatin' right there. It is. Oh, yeah, those dogs. Oh my god. They freak me up. Yeah. There's also two human like Yeah, yeah, I don't like it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, does look like the wizard from Gandalf mm-hmm. Yeah, Gandalfini. Yeah All right covered the dogs. You had one that you said something and I had a thing and I lost it What did you say? I crushed? Oh your mid-convo text mid-convo text. Yeah. Yeah, that's something people React when you say you haven't seen a movie and they get upset at you. No, I lost it. I got a peeve. Okay These fucking in at these influencers on Instagram who think they're like investigative journalists Would they're like did you know that McDonald's has 18 different ingredients in their fries and four different seed oils Or oils or whatever and you're just like yeah, dude. It's fucking McDonald, right. What did you think we were doing here? No, no, have you ever eaten it and not felt like a piece of shit towards? Yeah, that's you're not breaking Yes, yes, that's the gamble. That's the rub. We all know that you go to McDonald's you're eating shit That was like my first hangovers a kid is McDonald. Oh, yeah, nothing in your body can't process. That's right. Oh, yeah Mine was candy. I'd go ape shit in Halloween. I was like Dude, I used to be so addicted to the sour gummy straws that I would chew them and then spit out the gummy just to get the sour Digesting You're an addict. I know. Yeah, it's dark. It's dark shit dude. He tied your arm up when I smoked Little fruit by the foot Dude, I haven't smoked weed in years and this morning. I was at the Russian bathhouse Which I've invited you to but you're like I have a spot, but it's not the point you go to the Russian bathhouse You know the Russian Turkish bathhouse. We're about to fucking trust that a dick No, this place is the best my buddies the owner so we get a little VIP open in the morning and his buddy was smoking vapid He's like oh, this is like blue ice and I was like oh nicotine can I get hit? It was fucking weed I'm like oh, no, I got to go do the pod with the boys and I smoke weed Your eyes do a blood shot, but I didn't get stoned. I went I'm like I'm seven percent stoned. Oh, yeah I've been there I don't smoke weed anymore. I was like they're like it's fine. It's sativa I'm like I haven't smoked in three and a half fucking years. No offense of the bathhouse, but I can I relax the whole thing It's about relaxing and taking the edge off and all that but I'm like I'm jumping in cold water this giant fat men's dicks out My dicks out. Yeah, I can't relax about it. Well, that's why you go in the morning when it's empty and clean Clean and empty that's a wreck go places off hours. Yes off out code if I go to dinner at five. Yeah, we're 10 early bird Go whenever it's not popping. I think go anywhere got it. Yeah, that's good. The airport empty Pulling up salacus On a random bathhouse. Yeah, I like a good chezzer. There's a wreck a nice steam and a nice bad that's a natural ice coal plunge Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what did you what did you what is that book that you keep on it? Did you raise that AI fun thing? Yes, like the one thing I produced in five years. It's a Simon's Rex. That's pretty good. I like it. Yeah, you come full of rugs Thank you. I do. I do. Boy, I rewatch Ray. That is a sad fucking movie. Yeah, I didn't realize it. Lost his brother. Yeah, it's drowned in a bucket. Yeah, crazy I love to see in that movie where I'm sure it didn't happen like this, but we comes up with Hit the Road Jack. Oh Yeah, yeah, crazy kicking them out and it just hit some hit the road. Yes, and don't you come you got to say I mean Jamie Foxx for what it might be the most talented all around guy. He's out there thinking about it singing stand up. Yep, acting Oscar worthy Perform also winning performances. Yep, and now he's like hosting a game. What like dude? What is he damn? He's like a cool guy. Have you ever hung out with him? He's like a cool dude. No, never hung out with him. He actually come on here. Yeah, no, but Ray I never realized how sad it was like because I saw it, you know, in 2002 whatever it was, but He rides a bus from Florida to Seattle for an open mic. We've open there. I know, but I can read a magazine I never thought about it. The guy's blind on a bus in the 40s. Just going Right. I mean you got no podcast no radio. That's where the songs came from. I guess. Oh, but you can't look at the way. Yeah, you don't come up with Georgia just fucking staring at an iPhone. I know, but I'm gonna come up with you. Come. He must have wrote that on the way from Florida. That's what I'm saying. Okay, did he go blind or Born blind. He got lost in when he was seven to juvenile glaucoma. I looked it up. Now and what I was removed Okay, so in one testicle Hitler and it's butthole. No, I'm kidding It's like because that would be worse is to go blind because you know what you're missing. Yeah, one blind You have no idea what you're missing. I don't know because now you can put you can picture your mom picture your brother Picture your house. You're gonna get it's got it all up here. Hey either way It's you ever see those videos of the kids that are like You know almost blind and they put the glasses on and they can see it's the oh Video that's the best kids that the dad is in the military With the cry porn. Oh, I love it. I don't like sad porn. I want to feel something. That's all positive porn Yeah, that's right. Algorithm feeds you it makes you upset it knows you're gonna get mad and then you engage Outrage wins. You're never comment. I never comment. Don't comment. Never. I don't even want to hit a heart I comment all the time if I see a woman in a bikini pick. I write nice. Yeah, I write you're looking great. Yeah, yeah, especially Yeah, but those guys you up. Yeah, when when when how women post pictures? It's all women comments of course Well, a man liking a hot influencer is the same as thinking the stripper is gonna like you Right, yeah, right. What do you think she said you go? Hey, this Bob liked me. Let me look him up same with politics You think your politician likes you is like thinking a stripper likes you. They don't give a fuck My one of my best friends slid into an actress is DM's the other day. I'm like, what do you do? The same time I'm like, you know what fucking go for it. Yeah, I guess. Oh, you never know you never know But I'll win the lottery that's true and you might catch you at a vulnerable moment. Yeah, but also I think people were so bored back in the day that if you asked a girl out she was like fucking like a lot with you Yeah, what else am I doing? Also, that's how you met now. It's sure the problem with these apps now is like you're you're matching There's too much choice you match you with someone you're on a map and you're like that's right match for someone in Copenhagen, right? Yeah, you used to only like meet your neighbors, right now you're like now the world It's like going to the grocery store and having 4,000 tuna Even if you have a great tune. You're like there's got to be a better tune out. Yeah, porn is the ultimate one Yeah, I'm scrolling all day like she's not perfect. Where's the midgets? Where's the wheelchairs that was gay factory? That's more exactly where is my aunt would bend over at sea cleavage and I was like I'm good for a week Yeah, but because that's all we had we had to use our imagination when we rub one out I remember you'd get like the Mervyn's catalog and you'd be like give me it's a visual love it And now you got this rumor shit to be like before it could have time be like in my day we had to think There's a wreck rub one out to your imagination. That's impossible. No, you can do it. Those days are over You think of all of them before hours, but I can do it. Yeah, exactly it dicks chafed well There's a good for the blind guy if he rubs one out and he never saw I think what's he what does he even know he's missing or yeah Well, he fucked a lot of horrors, Rachel's You know it doesn't even matter fat woman would probably be better if you're he didn't like it fat woman Probably more offensive to a blind person because you can see the beauty and a heavier woman if you see But if you're just feeling you're like that's a good point because this is could be a tit and that's a gut Yeah, that movie mask Should the blind like face No, not that when don't get rocky Dennis I actually when I worked at MTV the actor who played who was gonna be in back to the future. What's his name? You played Eric stole remember when I worked as a VJ on MTV He was a guest and I just did the worst joke as he was a guest and I say well you look a lot better since mask bad joke I admit and he goes aha real fucking funny. They're like And then I had to do the interview afterwards. He was not happy Not even your real head like is that it's not a good joke, but is that that bad? It's really a fuck yeah Stoltz he's got a dude dude when I was at MTV I remember Michael Jordan came in and Daisy Fuente's She was the hot Latina on MTV back in 90s and I remember I see I was hoping I'd get the interview with Michael But she got it and I go with that interview with hey look a lot better some space jam No, so I go into work that day and I didn't work that day I wanted to see Michael Jordan I watched the interview and then this is when he had his cologne. He had a cologne app So after the interview was over it. She gives me in her dressing room his Cologne She's here. I don't need this and I'm spraying my wrist with it as I'm spraying my wrist Michael Jordan opens the door and Looks at us and he thanks Daisy goes what do you think and I freeze because it's Michael Jordan and I go Thumbs up to the listeners. I put my thumbs up and she laughed at me He laughed at me. I went beat red. I gave Michael Jordan the thumbs up. What do you say to Michael? That's not bad. I gave him a thumbs up. That's better than you ruined the movie stoltz or whatever you said Yeah, I see out of here. You look better since mask. Oh, yeah You could have said something about the wizards. Yeah, the two people that I met at MTV that were like larger than life It was Michael Jordan and two Pock whoa Yeah, I interviewed him. Yeah, that's online. It was oh, there's the interview with Daisy Quinn Did you shake hands? Did you touch him with Pock? Yeah, you know, it's funny as I remember we were this was 1997. It was right before you passed away And I was in LA where he didn't pass away So technically, that's what got murdered. Yeah Dr. Lincoln, fortunately, uh, he's passed he's passed on I remember I was finished at work and I smoke a joint with my producer at MTV and The two Pock arrives and like you got to interview him and it's live with the red light on and I go, dude I can't I'm too stoned and they said don't worry. So is he red light on and I interview him and I'm so uncomfortable I'm looking at the floor of the whole time and he carries the interview and he mocks does a white boy voice Drama with a comma, oh my god, we got a drone. I got my man buck shot, you know, I mean I got Smith and Wesson in Greg night is the whole guy Who can't and outlaws we all just gonna team up and just do this right? Recognize a lot of other watch all that drama watch the J. Let's get back to make us some I'm trying to do I don't got any problems with my buddy. Yeah, I like your stuff, too, man You and Snoop are the homies aren't you? We'll be back the homies Why don't you guys stick around for lots more fun to America's most wanted stay tuned? That's right. I mean, that's kind of crazy Yeah, that's pretty why yeah, I have to say the two of America's most I mean, that was the song at the time. Yeah, it's pretty cool God there was actually you were skinny as fuck. Oh, yeah, I still am. I think I've probably been 180 my whole life since I was seven Yeah, I'm motherfucking that was pretty crazy two-pocked. That was some legendary shit That is crazy. Yeah, you meet two-pocked to talk to MJ. What's that? Who are you more nervous around? MJ I couldn't speak I'm a big basketball guy and he's like the word goat gets there's another pet peeve Everyone's the goat now there's one goat. That's the greatest of all time. Everyone's king now, too. Oh, yeah, twin and queen What's that it's mattresses? Oh, you know the term uncle. I thought it was uncle. It is uncool It's not uncool. It's uncle. So how uncle black culture? It's uncle. It's been that way for 20 years I knew that I was just testing you good job. This is our black culture course African American culture Okay, so chopped on is like a blown-out uncle ugly. Oh Chopped ugly Okay, I should listen to this. Hold on. This is good stuff Hey, there's a conspiracy theory that Stevie Wonder can see. Did you guys see this? Yeah, of course That's a big one. Everybody knows this one. He touches the microphone. He could find it Yeah, so he's got some senses, you know, so watch this. This is Paul McCartney running by him and one of the things for that long You know where the mic is right. The mic is falling and he catches it. So how can a blind guy do this? Let's see their devil can Yes, I felt yeah, there he is. Stevie catch He just put it. I think he was just kind of clapping. That's interesting, but Don't know if he's getting 20s or one. Oh, I don't know if you could see it a little bit like an outline Or maybe he felt someone running by him and he was reaching out to hold their hand in a microphone He went to grab their dick. Oh my god. So he's a perv who can't see I'm not buying it. Now don't buy wonder is short for like wonder Shlows in or something is what's his real name is? No, it's not that but what's wonder wonder bread? Anyway, okay Hardaway no way. Yeah, Judkins got to go. That sounds like an Indian guy. Wait his name's Devlin the fuck devlin somebody misspeed misspelled that on a on a paper was born in Sagan on I didn't see that coming Oh, that's a good rec is that song Saginaw Michigan is a great song sung by lefty frisell. Oh Lefty frisell is I don't know. Oh, he's amazing. He's kind of start. He was like a pioneer of country I think like they say that a lot of like Hank Williams got took a lot of him here He was like the pioneer and then it was another guy Yeah, he was one of them his dog. He's a punk chopped chopped on baby. Yes, Saginaw Michigan great song All right into like old outlaw country and never thought I get into it. That's where I'm adding like I gotta get into it I can't keep it with your ADD, man. You're fucking all over the place. That's like stevy wonder when turkeys bath house - Dude, you fucked Jordan. - Dude, America's most wanted you. (laughing) - Come on, Blaze. - Just the homie's hanging out. - Dude, I watched a movie that I should have seen that I'd never seen this week. Fucking Dunkirk, amazing. - Oh, wow. - You told me how good it was, right? I trust the Norman Rack. We talked about it once, I was like, I just ended up buying it and I was like, dude, you know what? It's amazing. - No way, it's so well done, it's so pretty. - What was the other one? - 17, I love that too. - That's a lot of things. - Good War movie done right, is a good-- - Nothing better. - It's tough to beat. - Yeah, dude. - 'Cause you don't feel guilty getting all misty-eyed. - Yeah, these are kids. - You realize what pussy's we are, right? - I know. - Oh, Ann, how about Barry Keegan in this movie? Talk about a pussy death, spoiler, sorry. Everyone's in a war, he falls down a flight of stairs. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - That's a fucking rough death. - The staircase. - He passed away. - No, he was assassinated. - He was assassinated by this. - That's staircase. - No, this movie's incredible. - Is that the one where the score goes down and down? - Yes, yes, yes. - Oh, that score, he's a bad motherfucker. - He's never not good, Tom Hardy. - He never speaks, he's got the mixed dream role. - Mad Max, please don't talk. - Words that I, in a Hollywood history. - But he's in a mask in, as Bane, he's in a mask in this movie, he's in a mask in the one you just named. - He looks a lot better since Mask. (laughing) - I hate myself. (laughing) - Don't do that line of Tom Hardy, he knows you did too. - He does. - To whoop your ass. - Yeah, he's a real boy. - No, this movie rock, though. - Great moves. - Highest of wrecks. I loved it, I was like, oh man. - Have you seen all quite on the Western Front? - No, I got to see that. - Oh, the remake is incredible. One of the best movies in the last 10 years, I'd say. - I've been on a war kick lately. - Me too, love war, Iran. - Yeah, but yeah. - I remember when I did scary movie three with Charlie Sheen, I was in my trailer watching Platoon, just because I'm like, I'm working with Charlie Sheen, and I came out in my trailer, I'm like, dude, I'm watching Platoon, and he looks at me, goes, why? Why are you watching it? We're shooting a comedy. - I wanted to watch it. - Yeah. - I did the same thing with a name drop, Al Pacino. I did a movie with him recently, and I would go to my after work every day, I'd go watch an Al Pacino movie, and come to work the next day and ask him questions, and he loved to talk about it. Did I already do this bit? - No, I think so. - And I would ask him, like, oh, I just watched Dog Day afternoon, when you said squirrel, was that an improv? And he's like, yeah, I'm so glad you caught that. He loved to talk about it, so I would do my homework every night, come to work the next day and talk about his movies, and he just loved to, yeah. - I got to talk about Simone. He's like, ah, come on, what are you doing? - He's working with Al Pacino movie. - I don't know if I said this story, stop me if I have, but when he took me to see "Stand Up Comedy," I think I told you guys that. We went and saw Ali Wong. - Oh, fun. - And he said the last time I saw "Stand Up Comedy" was 1984, and I was like, who did you see? He said Rodney Danger City. Like, why are we here? - You should have just never seen one again. - Yeah, like what? - You went out on top. - Wow. - But I thought you wanted to talk to him about "Stand Up" and be, you know, I'll bring you guys, you guys know, but he was out of the loop. - Was he a fan though of Rodney? - He hated you guys. (laughing) No, I've read "Rockers," that what you said? - Of Rodney Danger City. - Oh, yeah, he was. - He called say that. - But you are. - I could have believed what I had to do. - He's got selective hearing. Do you like Rodney, do you like my movie? - No. - No, 'cause he said to me, I remember when I went to meet him before we went to Shoey at dinner and he put his hand on my knees like red rocket, incredible work. - Whoa. - I was like, that's pretty cool. He did his homework. - He's a little guy, right? - He's a little guy. - Just had another kid. - Had another kid. And, um, - Damn. - '82, I believe. - '84. He had his 84th birthday on set and we sang "Happy Birthday" to him and then someone said, "And many more." (laughing) - Hey, who did you say "Vorpacino"? - Hey, Galveggore. - What say again? - What did you say? You said something before "Pacino" and it sparked something that I, and then he went on to "Pacino" and I lost it. - Yeah, he just had great stories and then he said, - But who was he talking about before that? - Oh. Oh, my God. - Ah, it's God. This is why I think that I lose it. No, before "Pacino". - Oh, Charlie Sheen. - Yeah, Platoon. - Platoon? - Platoon. - Why didn't Sheen come on here? He did a whole fantastic-- - I know. - I nudged him too, 'cause I know how much I wanted. - Thank you. - And he goes, dude, this is what he said. He goes, the train, something about the train is just needs to be back in the station, meaning he's exhausted. I think he's over-potted. - We saw him on something that I was like, "Oh, come on!" - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, what a legend. He actually did, when I did a podcast, I asked him to do it and he's like, "Dude, everybody asked me to do a podcast." - Oh, I remember. - He goes, "But for you, I'll do it." And then he did mine. And he's like, "I just opened up the gates now. Everyone wants me to do a podcast." And he didn't do them for years until his recent documentary came out, which was amazing, by the way. There's a wreck. - Love it. - When he's flying the plane in the beginning, are you fucking kidding? - Yes. - He's flying the plane. He's like-- - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, I didn't care for that. If I was a person, I know. - Yeah, I know, right? - Maybe you don't let that happen. Maybe you don't mean that's seduced by celebrity. - But I was watching with my wife. She's like, "Damn, he's charming." She's like, "I totally get it." - No, he's a great dude, man. - And then he's Richard's soul to show, if he asks me, "Make it sandwiches for hookers." - Oh, that, I mean, come on. - Oh, come on, what a champ, what a lady. - What a champ. - Keeper. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But they're done. - We're talking about too many options on the menu. That was his-- - Yeah, he flipped the menu over. - He flipped the menu over. - Right. - There you go. - I'm not like, I'm good with my options on the menu. - Anyway, no aspects of life. - Does anyone throw up on the show? - No. - Are you gonna throw up? - No, but I just thought, when I burp, that was made me think. I wonder. - Not yet, it's coming. - Oh, is this your-- - This is like the Green Room and Rogan's Club, the Smelling Sal. - That'll wake you up. - Did he have those? - Yeah, you got 'em. I went to the Green Room. Oh, I got a funny story. - I don't know, I got to set them. - I got a funny story. Shane, I was hanging, Shane goes down and named off, and Austin, and he brought me to the Green Room at the mothership, which I guess is like the sacred, you know, situation. And I remember, dude, there was all these sandwiches cut up from like a local deli. And I was eating like these little, you know, sliced out wedges. And then I see like a full sandwich sitting on the counter. And I almost went to eat it, and then Rogan comes in and it's his sandwich. - Oh. - I almost ate raw. - Rogan sandwich in the Green Room. - It's like shit in the Sandler's Green Room. - Dude. - It would have been so funny, like, I'm, like, the new guy in the sandwich, is he? - I was, I don't remember. - I'm sure it was elk meat or some fucking crazy, saber-toothed tiger or sandwich. - Yeah. - Yeah, oh yeah, it's made out of elk meat or something. - Delfin, yeah, it's Hinchcliffe, says. - Yeah. - Who knows what it is. But yeah, that's a fun club. - Yeah, they did a good job. - They very much had the aesthetics of, like, the cellar and the store had, like, a vibe of-- - Sure. - You know, the smelly salt's in there and I did it way too close. - Oh, dude, it's smelly. - It hurts. - It hurts. - I remember, like, and Joe just, like, cold to me, like, are you okay? - Yeah. - Yeah. - And like, this isn't embarrassing as fuck. - I was deadly hungover and I hit it, and I gotta tell you, I cured the hangover. - But it hurt. - Oh yeah. - It hurt. - It's like-- - Like, is this you just clear? - I sometimes, I think it's just, like, did it cured, or are you just in other pain? - Right. - This literally, like, you're, like, I'm hungover and someone kicks you in the nuts and you're, like, well, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not thinking about my head right now. - Yeah. - You know, it's, it's another bad thing. - Right, right. - It's an override. You guys look, like, doing stand-up there, it's a good spot, the crowd, like-- - Right, right, right, we've been in a minute, but yeah, I had a good time. - Mm-hmm. - So there's this Austin, is this, like, a friendly beef, like, the Austin comedy scenes better than the New York one? Like, what the fuck? We don't fucking are drinking podcasts and go up to the cellar and don't give a fuck about made up Twitter We're not thinking about it, but I will say Austin no no income tax. Is that their thing? That's pretty good. They beat us on the taxes. I'll give them that but the comedy come on a state Okay, it's not a city. All right. Well, the state of Texas has us on that But that's most states have us on that. Oh, is that right? I mean, yeah, compared to New York, California Taxes Texas coincidence. I'll say Dallas dollars. That's the conspiracy theory. My dad. There's no coincidences Oh, I got it. Can I plug another movie and then a shooter in Austin? I got another money. I got killed another way another one No, same one. Okay. I got a movie called toe. I did This month Rose Byrne who's Oh, I love it. It's a true story about Bill the bird Tarantino is excited for this one. Yeah, it's a movie about a woman who lives in a car the car gets towed And the whole movie is about her trying to get her car back. Okay, it's like a heartfelt sweet little movie called toe There it is. Yep. T.O. W. Toe. Oh, yeah, look who's in it. Whoa Great cast beautiful cast Rose Byrne's the best. She's like a great actress. Yeah, great actors Australian. Oh, I don't know that. Yeah, boy. Look at you. Huh? You guys know who Rachel Ward is no. Do you remember her? She was in like dead men. Don't wear plaid. She was like Great. There's a wreck. No, I mean don't wear black Steve Martin. No, I'm a premise. Humphrey Bogart acting. Yeah, great idea. Murr Griffin Murr Griffin. Well, look at the knobs on a Root. He was the hottest dude. Good girl. And Yeah, she and then I did a TV show on Australia and she was on the show and I was like starstruck I'm like, oh my god. That was like when I was a kid. I remember it was like her and Jessica Lang where why I started liking girls when I was like Rachel Ward was so and there was an actor on the set who was American who was sober and we went for a drink after he's like I've been sober for years and she's like, how you fucking pussy Americans just have a beer and shut the fuck up That's even hotter. Uh-huh. Yeah, she was like breaking his balls for being sober. Yeah. Yeah, well look at those melons. I mean she could I'm real me. I stole that from Jay Leno, believe it or not. Yeah, I'm sure Jay Leno say that and I've been using it since how about 1989? I'm what you call a hack Is a hacks open that steals is that for you have hack is usually on a radio. I'm a hack. Just tread it on Oh, yeah, right, right. Sorry I'm thrown off by the with a glutes. Yeah, I'm like the most the focus right now. Yeah, the most ADD guests of our time Yeah, I'm fucking losing it. I'm still on Dundkirk. I can't keep up Jessica Lang too. She was Lang she was really. Wow. We yeah, I'm good taste in women So we're the cop I know, but that's that everyone has good taste to them. So we're some women you some celebrities you've slept with Well, this one's public information. Oh, it's no big deal. I dated Jamie Pressley lovely woman. Oh Very attractive. Yeah, this was back in the 2000 I want to say we did a TV show together Yeah, and I remember we started dating and I remember the network saying okay We can't tell you guys not to date, but please just don't bring your shit to work basically all right and Couple of times we brought our shit to work Well, there we go. Oh, look at that. Yeah, it's mochi. Well, thank you. I've been working out. Yeah And well, can I ask you a Scary movie six. Yeah, I know you're not in it right. Sorry, but you're part of the franchise and it's the most viewed trailer of all time So people are craving comedy food good. I love it like you're in fucking leave it to be for here. This is crazy That's a hunk. It's a long story. Yeah, I'm looking to see how Jessica Lang led to that right? That's why I put him together Thank you. Wait, are they related? No, no, I don't say the ADD and it's funny. Normally I'm more into Latina's for anyone out there really Yeah, I'm a big booty Latina. Come on. Oh, I mean give me a Puerto Rican or some origin of Latina bad bunny. Yep But what was it was about to say something we can't keep up. Yeah, by the way, Cardi B just got rid of her BBL Yeah, she took it out. Wow, and of an era. I got the portal episode feels like a poem A poem what's a poem a poem like a party B got rid of her BBL Dr. Seuss. Oh my gosh, you got rid of it, huh? Yeah, oh, what a nerd look at this fucking It's like America you always you always hear about a coming out. You never see but you're about a coming in It's like an immigrant. We're talking about scary movies right trailer scary movie six looks funny I'm happy that on a Ferris is doing it. She should be like Ferris. So yeah, what happened with a scary movie was I did So the ones the Wayans created the franchise and they did one and two and then there was some disagreement with the Weinstein's What yeah, so I think the Weinstein's then took the franchise and they hired David Zucker Oh, they begun legend Ledger Zucker hired me. I auditioned for him and I got the part. I probably wouldn't have got it if it was the Wayans They a Zucker liked me. So I think they associate Me with three four and five like I'm part of the Zucker thing and they're like so I was not invited to six But I'm rooting for it. It looks hilarious and I'm glad comedies are being made and back at you hilarious and three things Oh, yeah, that's it. I mean Vitor used to pull up that clip of you when you're a pull up that she's dead Oh, yeah, that was the audition scene. Oh, really So I had a rapper getting every three. She's dead. This is fucking just hanging with the homies. Yeah Oh god, dude. Why did I ask to pull that up? I know that was pretty cringe You look great though. I felt great. You look good man. Yeah, you got a good jawline. Thanks. Yeah, here it is, right? This is above grade here. That's not it. Oh, yeah, we get to get the whole clip. That's just Charlie Here it is. There she blows Funny movie, man. It holds up. Yes, of course. I'll tell her. Thank you. We're just shoot this Vancouver. Ah Su's teacher Brenda. She's She's dead I better tell her. No, no, no, I can do it. She's Oh boy This is where the listeners tune out. Su Yes You know your teacher Miss Brenda? Yeah, she's dead Horrible painful death god god god just like your dog I just made him over with the car Everyone you love around who's dying How did you audition for that? That's a hard role. Yeah, that's real acting. Zucker was so specific about his So he has the thing called the 15 Rules of Comedy which you have to abide by in all of his movies and some of them Like he has a whole formula and I actually just did his podcast and he has like a writing workshop He has students that he teaches his formula of writing about how to tell a story and do jokes and he has 15 rules of Comedy you could look that up. It's really interesting. So you have to Do his playbook when you're it's almost like a coach with a playbook and And he's very specific like no you need to come up exactly here and be like he's the best I've been hanging with Zucker lately. We screen scary movie 3 in a movie theater in LA like a few months ago And the crowd was singing all the lines along with it It held up like it's still funny Love around you is dying. That's good stuff. You know wrote the movie is Craig Mason. He's the guy who did Chernobyl wow He also did that newer show the last of us. No comedy But he's comes from there he is he wrote scary movie 3 pretty opposite of Chernobyl in the last of us There you go over three. Wow. That's got a yeah right range. Yeah, that's got a range I think Nick offerman talked about him on the We were talking about last of us maybe oh it looks like he did too as well. Oh, yeah. Oh hangover too. Yeah. Yeah, talented cat um Cat Williams Cat Stevens All right, well, it was nice to make you to genuinely laugh that was an authentic laugh. Well, it's too funny This guy's lap. Mason's writing. Yeah, that's right. Zuckers direct Wow, so when's this new movie come out? Oh, so tow comes I don't know when this airs March 20th in theaters and then Operation taco Gary's will be streaming on the 24th. That's the one. They're yep. Uh, they're streaming where? Uh, Apple Amazon Fortune. Yeah, fortune. Oh, baby. So can we do a little Oscar talk before we say? Yeah, we should do a lawsuit We tried to but we just swerved in a fucking snowstorm. Yeah, well your pal stop roast. Yeah, it's not nominated, but But going. Yeah. Good movie. I thought he did great. He did great. He held his own. I thought Jesse Plemons. He didn't get nominated. No, but That was his wife. Oh, it's a snuff, but he did great You know, it's funny taco Gary's is like a comedy version of that movie. It's about an insane conspiracy Very similar movie in the premises around the insanity of some of these people very timely. Uh, yes But begonee was great man and Stavros killed the cloud. Yeah, he held his own with one of the best actors in the world. Yeah I just loved that the backstory was Eddie molested him. Yeah, and they just gloss over. Yeah, but in a fun way He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I felt bad about what I did here in the house to you Didn't he get his head cut off with a axe or something spoiler alert. Oh, sorry. There's a lot of spoilers in this episode I guess. Oh boy. Um, yes, he had his head bashed in with a shovel. That was it. Yeah, that's a cool way to go. Yes, it is You knew he was going to die in that scene too. Yeah, you just know it's coming. Oh, yeah, you're gonna. Yeah, the most yeah any other Oscar movies. Oh, the sinners is up the sinners is up for like nine million awards. Yeah It's like they got the most nominations in the history of the Academy Awards But often what happens when it's nominated the most they don't usually win a lot. It's a weird thing That's like a fact Okay, because you're splitting your like I mean it vote here, but not vote here and everyone does the same thing and all they Relate you're all over the table roulette. You get too much. They're just like it'll get something and then they vote for nothing maybe Uh-huh, um, and then uh one battle of course one battles probably gonna it feels like that one's gonna I didn't see train dreams or hamnet. I know people who liked them a lot both. I didn't I haven't seen hamnet But train dreams is good. It's heavy, but very well made same guys that did sing sing which was a great movie if you haven't seen That's a rack great movie Yeah, hamnet what the hell's that title? So let's think it's like it's a isn't it? It's a Shakespearean story, but why is it called hamnet? I think oh, I thought it was a town. I don't know But it's where you catch a pig and these are there you go These are the nominated for best picture the Oscars are tonight So let's see how you do the night f1 got nominated. Yeah, Frankenstein was too hot. You can't make it a monster sexy Yeah, and the girl was into them, which it just shows you know, we look like a tall guy like a big monster Yeah, he probably got Frankenstein got a big dick. He has to he has to right all right That's a cock dude Frankenstein hamnet. There's a lot of me What else do we got? Yeah, yeah, you're right. That's supreme Marty supreme pizza. Oh there you go Bagonia's Bologna okay, okay supreme pizza. Yep Center dinner fuck me So pick one each one pick one just for best picture. Yeah, I think it's gonna win. Yeah, that you think is going to win I think one battle is gonna. I think so too I gotta go different just because you two quiffs picked it. So I'm gonna go curveball Marty supreme I agree I just think it's like it's all about like whose time it is exactly right like you never win when you're when you're like Not necessarily this isn't a good movie. It is a really good movie, but like Departing no one for like. Yeah, that's not a woman. They always out one. There's a point where they owe you one training day Oh, no, not hurricane training day, right? And then uh, yeah departed for scorsese, right? Like, right? Like it's his time. It's the body of work. Yeah, absolutely. We're saying Paul Thomas is. Oh, yeah Because I think you can only get snub so many times and you're like boogie nights. I mean, yeah, it will be blood - Not his best movie by far, I don't think so. - Oh, he lost it. - But I still like the old one. - Yeah. - Okay, PTA meeting. - I like the life. - This is a nice fight. - What is it? - He's a nice fight. - All right, this is a nice fight. A lot of honkies in there too, all right. - I'm leaning Leo, I'm sticking with it. - I might go a hawk guy. - Yeah. - Shal moves out with that ballet comment. - He's crazy. - That's what I'm doing. - I think Ethan Hawks should win it, in my opinion, but. - Actually, I'm gonna go Michael B. - He was great. I liked them all. - All right, I haven't seen a secret agent. - Me neither. - Never heard of it. - Never heard of it. - I probably go hawk, but they're all great. - I got my important actor, Sean Penn, he's gonna win. - Yeah, I think you're right. He killed it. Although Delroy's got the N word stink on him. - I think Stella's. - I think Stella's scars go, she'll win it. - But she would have took a shot at the value. - We're talking who will. - That's my favorite movie the year. - Yeah. - That movie, he's fucking incredible. - He killed it. - That movie was fucking incredible. - I think it's the Kinga, Ibs daughter. - But Delroy Lindo is pretty fucking good in centers too. - He's always good. - He's always good. - He's another, the guy that shows up at the house. - The old guy. - The old guy. - He always brews it. - He'd hit that guy. - Which guy? - Delroy Lindo. - You've seen him. - He's in everything. - Okay. - Get sure to. - Yeah. - Sure. - And last one, guys. - That was the best supporting. - That's supporting who is it? - Let's see, best actress. - I'm going Rose Byrne, just. - Oh. - Kisses. All right. - Here we go. I'm going Emma Stone. - Yeah. - I'm going, I'm going. - She's just one too. - All right, fuck it. - I don't think they're gonna need it. - We're not of INFAM going from sentimental value. She was great. - Yeah, they're saying I'm-- - I loved her and the other one too. What's it called? The Norwegian one? - Words for the world. - Same director. - Love that movie. - Yeah, I like this one a little better. That guy knows how to make fun of you. - I like that one a little better. - Really, that's what a lot of people say. - But I love, I thought they were both. I think sentimental value is a great movie. - Great movie. - Is it on streaming? - I don't know, mostly. - I got to see this movie. - Yeah. - I remember I was raving. - All right, we gave you a little Oscar shit at the end. - All right. - Wait, who's the best? - Oh, you said Chompe. - Do you have the best supporting actress? Who do we have? - Yeah, we're going to do the ladies. - Yep. - We'll fucking show in this pig's allocation. - Yeah. - This is good tequila. - Thank you. - Yeah. - Best supporting actress. I don't know who's nominated for any of it. So I see this. - Okay, Amy Maddie. Oh, I love Amy Maddie again. - I like her. - She was awesome. - She was awesome. - She never gave it to a horror movie. - She's the old scary lady, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - She was great. - But she won the Golden Globe. - Did she? - Yeah, she did. Which is a sign that she-- - Yeah, she's my pig. I think she was. - Yeah, I haven't seen all the other ones. So it's hard to say, but yeah. - See how the Taylor is great, but she's only in it for like 20 minutes. - Yeah. - Hmm. - That can still win, though. - She might. - She might. - We'll suck her. - We'll suck her. - We'll suck her. - We'll suck her. Okay. - Well, I apologize if I hogged the mic again, but I don't know what I'm doing. - No, it was fun. - It was fun. - It wasn't easy. - It's fun. - I had like nine things and I lost them all. (laughing) - Fuck. - So this is where Mark is. - Oh, when's this come out? Oh, doctors. - Yeah. - Tonight, Sunday. - Oh, but what night is tonight? - Oh, I'll mark something. - Oh, okay. - See you next time. - All right, come on, bye. - Austin. - Creek in the cave, I'm doing a quick drop in after some pause, I'm doing crazy promo for the special. - Which comes out. - Oh yeah, it comes out the 17th. - Austin, go back in. - No, you're special. - No, it can't wait. - Yeah. - Dude, cannot wait. - Dang, it's a fun one. You saw one of my worst performances of all time at the fat black, yeah. - Wait, what? - There were you came and showed up to be a supportive friend and I ate shit for an hour. It was just not my crowd. - Wait, where'd it went? - It was like, I don't know, it's seven months ago at the fat black and the seller. - Huh. - And you were twitching and twerking. - Very forgettable. - You were just dying to get out of it. - Oh, no. - Where's the hope I didn't rub off the badge? - No, no, I feel more of the old town like, what's going on with this crowd? - New Netflix special. - Yeah. - That's amazing, congrats dude. - Thanks for having us. - Thanks, man. - It's exciting. - Yeah, it's a big deal. - Keep going, keep going. - Keep Portland. - That's all Providence for Providence. - That's the interview. - Lexington, it's fun town. - Great town. - Great town. - Fort Lauderdale, Chadonuga, Raleigh, LA, the Netflix Fest, Ontario, Nouveau, Brunswick, Spokane. - Fun town. - Yeah, Philly and Milwaukee. - Babe. - Babe. - I got two things on my calendar, and I'm going to add some shit soon, but I'm chilling. I just taped the special in Tampa. Very happy with it. Working on the old edit. You were there, Selamonka. And then we got, yeah, May 7th. Netflix is a joke fest. Where am I? Oh yeah, where am I? - I'm going to come by. - Elizabeth and you're at the United Theater on Broadway, May 7th in Los Angeles. - Yeah, with a few friends, Jordan Jensen, Joe Liss, Rachel Fine. So we're going to have a lot of fun. - Oh, dude. - Did it in Lisbon, Portugal, August 30th. And I'm going to add some more Euro date to this. - Yeah, you got it. You got it. All the way over there. - I'm going to do it. - Elizabeth, I never been in Portugal. Sounds like a beautiful place. - I've never been in them. That's great. - It's unbelievable. - By the way, Jordan Jensen, I got to say, her special, wow, I laughed out loud a lot. We had, we did a part here with her one day. - Yes, she is a funny motherfucker, she's great. So that's my last wreck and then I'm done. - All right, T-Rex. - Yeah, but we're sorry you didn't get that other guest, but we're also not sorry 'cause you got Simon Red. - Yeah, big upgrade. 'Cause that other one wasn't great anyway. He's stuck. - Lefty for Zell. - There you go, lefty. Oh wait, we got to pay for that. - Oh, you got it? - Got it, got it. Jesus grace. - How many seconds do you get? - I don't know, it's about to be seven seconds. - Oh, then we're good. - Okay, okay. - Oh, there it is. - Oh, you're really pushing it. - Let's see what you got. - All right, all right, all right, we got sued. All right, thanks guys. - Let's see you later, playboy. - Thanks, boy. ♪ Sunday's the day for my next spender ♪ ♪ A bit of peaver wreck you know the future's close ♪ ♪ I've had a little too much first ♪ ♪ And Norman's talking shit about the fucking post ♪ ♪ And I get down in the same way ♪ ♪ Up on the roof like a cop's coming ♪ ♪ And they can send you well as feeling dangerous ♪ ♪ I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans ♪ ♪ This woman doesn't look like I remember her ♪ ♪ And I get down in the same way ♪ ♪ We might be true ♪