Ep. 274 - Halloween, But We’re All Ludwig.

what are you doing are we on hold on wait can can i can i can i just what you got there let papa have a bite let's give papa a bite i want to taste oh hold on oops hold on i don't need that because i got the bag of peanuts i'm gonna eat really fast and i know we've done this gag before but oh god i wish it was a real burger could i be okay hold the phone can i just apologize can i can i apologize oh i already don't feel like you look you look so great what what i already i already i already feel like you're not ludwig because you just started off by apologizing i can't i fucking thought i thought that we would all get prosthetics and we would sit in the chair for fucking four hours and i thought that we would just look like okay okay if you're listening on audio we're always if you're listening on audio we all look exactly like ludwig auger like a painstakingly like perfect recreation striking and we i definitely don't look like if i take this i definitely don't look like mitchell musso i don't you might think i look just like him but i actually don't you look like you look like a rockabilly guy i look like ludwig you have to stop i keep doing this hold on my hand my pocket he looks so good he looks crazy do you guys think that he looks somewhat like super tf i don't look like i do this is the best idea we've had in a really long time i feel like i feel like a failure i feel like a fail i sloppily threw together i said with four days to go i'm like rich what if we wore prosthetics right and richard i was gonna ask i was gonna have him give us all handsome surgery right he's he's very skilled he actually practiced medicine for about two years you did a lot of people practice medicine for about two years people don't know that and and then he's like what if we just do prosthetics i said fine i'm choking on the peanuts i'm not used to this i'm very flustered yeah i'm very yeah not used to eating while we're doing the show generally just having more weight on you dude oh my god we what if we got fat suits god we suck we should have been yeah we should have been fatter that's for sure guys happy halloween happy fucking halloween uh ludwig in japan right now but he's actually not stop it for the audio listener you his own mouth with his fingers you look so it's so gross you have spit on your chin on my chin yeah how could it have landed on my chin it's a normal size we look i i was like looking at aiden just at his desk with all this shit on him and i'm like we just be they just made us ugly you know you know how like like it's like oh i got a portrait done by someone who with their eyes closed we look we look like if you drew ludwig with your eyes closed i think we're pretty clean on the outfits though there was a beautiful point because nick me and slime went first and then nick was next and me and slime walked in like halfway through nicks and we came back into the office to discuss because we were like why does he look kind of fine he looks kind of fine you look there was a point there was a point during your transformation where i was like he he looks kind of normal okay we were talking about what if we all went to jump we all went to jump and i was like what if we all went to jump and i was like i'll hit the town oh my god let's go chubby cattle after this i'm like let's go chubby cattle we go to no vacancy yeah we hit jumbos we hit jumbos bro we try to do lines in the bathroom texting my girlfriend can i get a lap dance looking like this it's me in the mirror shrugging like that could i get could i get ludwig a lap dance on halloween it's not it's not cheating if i'm ludwig that's true it's true he's the one cheating dude oh my god well one of us one of us has sex with one of these one of these outfits on i do you think ludwig would bust enough i think i'm not in japan right now i'm not kidding i don't think anyone on the planet would fuck me right now i don't i don't think you you're fuckable i'm not kidding you look like you're at the roller derby on rockabilly night you want to fuck me you want to turn that's not how long that's going on that screenshot going crazy on a forum that ends in dot onion if i be if i beat the puss up is he going to tell him mitchell musso is he gonna tell him you gonna tell on don dubbin i think if any of our girlfriends slept with us right now that's kind of disrespectful to cutie that's what i'm saying that's right right that's right because i think i've i could i could probably talk my girlfriend into it like really i think probably she loves you bro i know she loves me so crazy she loves me so much i don't even know if my it's gonna be hard to forget what this was like i think i looked at myself in the mirror and i literally just went oh my god like thank god this isn't all the time yeah i'm feeling i'm feeling very i'm not the most handsome guy but i all i want is my face back yeah like i want it back really bad i keep looking at myself i'll walk by rich and he just he just like looks away he looks down it's like uncomfortable for him you i'm trying to in what you look like i don't i don't i really think it's mitchell musso you look you look like like a weatherman that got fired because she was outed for fucking animals me wait where's my camera i finally have it i fucking love red bull right there you're right there guys this is my last broadcast today some of us find love in different places oh well it's like you know what i was thinking about too it's hard to do ludwig now because he has less i feel like he has less catchphrases you have to say something he would say rather than how he would say it which is the fun of the impression is how you're imitating someone i'm just happy that we can become ludwig this week in particular because he's he's dealing with such a barrage online of course it's like we're kind of taking it for him yeah like we are ludwig yeah like we are legion we could dude imagine one of us went live on his channel we should absolutely do that hey what's up and then you see the you see like the fucking yeet clip or whatever it is yeah so anyway so i decided i'm gonna i decided i came back early from japan i got kicked out of the army fucking all these whores and uh yeah so i'm shaft deep in a clown at jumbos all right just me and my stinky nuts yeah no hey thank you thank you christopher tan gifted thank you appreciate it anyway so i'm shagging this clown i shag i shagged a clown and now i look down it's a monkey them look upon the monkey them yeah i uh i feel crazy and it's halloween did you guys know that all these decorations are from rich's house what i know i know i know because he's like he he did a lot of skeleton with the bones everything he said he's like he's like yeah this was pretty easy because all this came from my house i'm like really he's like yeah usually i do like we decorate but i didn't this year so this is all mine like dude rich is crazy bro and i said richard you were supposed to do handsome surgery on us right and i'm not handsome i look like this look like this actually all all the all the prosthetics on our face are they're from rich's face as well we just sort of yeah we unsew we just cut off pieces of richard to make ludwig's face on our faces yeah we took some those who are curious what richard looks like it's kind of an amalgamation of these three people that's right yeah dude i think i look like his dad or something he just kept like really he kept saying you look like people in my family and i'm like i don't i don't like to think i look like anyone on earth no i swear to god i kind of looked like like that guy who uh posted that youtube video like what is like what life is like and i'm like i don't know i don't know when you're ugly have you seen that guy he's married now he found a girl through the comments yeah it's it's very oh so he's legit ugly he didn't become ugly yeah he's very ugly and he posted like a video that was like this is what it's like to be ugly and then some girl was like i think he got burger shaked yeah yeah i was gonna say yeah he was and some girl was like i actually think you're cute and now they're married with a kid that's so beautiful yeah i've yet you know i've yet to meet shakes girlfriend but it's it's the first thing i want to ask her yeah i like so let's talk about the burger picture yeah what do you like about it do you feel shame that i would never ask her that because she probably should be excited i'm i just want to know i've met her a few times i feel like and i've already broken the ice i can go straight to it it's it's hard to not dog on shake everyone just kind of wants to dog on shake because he takes it so well he does this is like one of those like i think we made a joke before like influencer podcast and you're like about to give me like advice about like like financial advice no that's not high dividend enough the yield on that account you look like a yields guy yield on that account it's too low okay so what you're gonna want to do right do you have carna you carna on your phone you're gonna get carna on your phone okay you're robbing and get carna yeah we only got a couple years to be able to do this stuff i don't care if you start with penny stocks i want to see you trading today i'm gonna tell you how to get fat alpha on these apps fat alpha gonna be the alpha bro they're always talking about getting the alpha it's unregulated right now this is all unregulated we're the winners we're winning it's free money halloween is has it lost its luster or am i 36 um the only literally the only halloween i see on my timeline right now is uh i hate gay halloween what do you mean you're in certain niche costume that's my only interaction with halloween i've seen this year i get a thousand of those tweets i haven't seen a single one it's like it's like i hate gay halloween what do you mean your grandpa who ate paint because he thought it was yogurt and it's like someone dressed up as that niche meme oh okay implying that gay is dressed up as very niche jokes for halloween do they is that the meta now i thought this was hitting last year right this was a meme that was doing the rounds last year yes and now this is this is a classic yeah yeah yeah this has gone back a while so are gays not sluts anymore or is it slutty slutty abstract meme great question i'd love to answer sorry as ludwig i think i do a lot of things to say about the game i am the gamer of the year are there a gate sorry and i want to be more specific are gays no longer halloween sluts i see what you're saying do gays not go slutty for halloween i've been sluts for halloween trapped in the both really straight hyperbolic time chamber for too long now i can't even i don't even know i said i actually sniffies was the last piece of juice i could give you dude you do need to like go and turn in your car your global entry expired yeah you have to go have an interview with two guys they're like showing you jacob alorti it's like so what do you think of choice of on what do you think of this he's hot why did you go to korea last year the polygraph is they have that the brian johnson ring he puts on his son's cock to see if he's like gonna live a long time they put it on you for the interview and it's like you're no blood flow is going to your i can still get it hard for jacob you're looking at this picture of jacob alorti but you clearly like the sydney sweeney one a lot more i can still get gay like that i can do it dude give me two two beers and i get gay like that so maybe you get slutty when you're drunk yeah it's not just gay but also slutty he gets like fun slutty though not like scary slutty no he doesn't get scary slutty which i've always appreciated i actually you know it's a it's a it's a quality you found this very slutty emote recently oh my god you can't stop spamming it it's the sluttiest little emote it's it's like the the big yellow face but he's doing this another hand that feels like it shouldn't be allowed it's like it's like another yellow guy's hand it's almost like a different hand yeah i'll send you to my two emotes but to answer your question is halloween fell off i don't think i will say i don't get trick-or-treaters in any year i don't the kids don't come by the house because it's trunk retreat i get maybe it's trunk retreat yeah that's the meta now what are you parking lot and everyone lines up their cars and they just open the trunk and you go from trunk to trunk it's truck retreat this is the slutty that's it because because he's kind of he's kind of leaning away and down the issue you get that issue is that the hand on his mouth is his right hand look right stop oh no it's his left hand stop touching your face stop it actually makes sense yeah just like he's like doing this he's like oh my gosh but he's blushing yeah and you're ready to use this to respond to pretty much anything honestly in the spirit of halloween i was wondering this on the drive over here what is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you guys like like like i feared for my life or scary in like a fine like a movie type way not like a blair blair witch yeah because there's like you almost got in a car wreck like that's pretty scary i whatever whatever lends itself to the most interesting or funny story i would say the most scariest thing that ever happened to me i think fear i'll go fear for my life first and i i'm so used to how you look already i was in my back i've gotten used to it yeah this is me this is our ugly friend glad i don't look like that bug this guy sucks this is what we think ludwig looks like it gives you wigs scariest thing that happened to you scariest thing i was a it was i think it was 13 in our backyard and we had a fire pit and uh we had lit we were like burning off stuff in the fire pit and i was the one who mowed the lawn so i had like finished up and i always have to refill the mower i grabbed the gas can and i'm like what happens when you fucking i want to see what happens when you pour fucking gasoline on the fire i just want to see what happens i do it i'm way too close it creates like the mini mushroom cloud that a nuclear bomb makes and i scared the shit out of myself like like feel the heat on my face as it like shoots up barely jump out of the way and i'm kind of like oh my god and then i look down at the can and the tip of the gas can is on fire oh my god and i'm like oh my god it's going to ignite the can and i am going to die it's like i just kind of freeze and i just hope it goes out do you know what i mean like yeah i should have put it down and run i should have i really should have done anything but i just kind of stood there for a few seconds and like this is gonna be it and then and like just frozen in terror and then the flame just went out and i was done dude it we grew up with video game logic where if it's a red can it does proximity one bullet makes it light on fire three bullets makes it explode yeah and i think i could be wrong about this but i think if you throw a match into gasoline as a liquid nothing happens and the match goes up you think i'm stupid let me isn't it it's the gas that it's the fumes that ignites and this is science and chemistry and these are the things that you need to know and this is what not be scared of ludwig why wouldn't engage with this question why wouldn't gasoline extinguish a fire when dumped on it because the fumes aerate during the travel from the dump so the liquid touches yeah obviously the fumes are still there so you answered your own i would assume the fumes are rising you know i'm saying well they don't last fast enough and the liquid is falling stay the fumes are around and the thing or two about starting fires now you do hey guys how's it going ludwig here i love red bull i'm sponsored by it i have aids i'm doing it yep that's right and i'm learning it's day by day this is a day by day thing day by day there's two things i love red bull and prep if you my fans can find me on sniffies gay ludwig be like do not tell me do not tell my wife dude i think i saw his stream he's unless he's in literally in an airplane right now dude i forgot what our faces look like because because that's the funny part yeah i forget i keep forgetting i actually okay i can't look at me okay who looks the most scary of the three of us the most i think it's anthony you you smile me yeah this sounds bad at this but doesn't he anthony with all the clothes on uh he looks the most like ludwig for real yeah i think the wardrobe is doing a lot of lifting for you yeah it's an excellent you have the best wardrobe for sure i think so much of it i've realized is also your frame of your body and because he has like the thick jackets over top it actually makes a sort of ludwig-esque fit i got bummed out because i call him ludwig fat all the time and then i put his pants on they fit great dude me too these are kind of tight they just fit great and i'm like i immediately put them on i went oh i look disgusting i look like a mad tv or a mad magazine character he's not gonna pick up he's no way he picks he's in the rv right now though i know that hey what time is it in japan it's me you shake my japanese it's gonna be like midday right i don't look at that like 11 a.m okay we'll have to surprise him i wonder if he even reads the group chat to know that we're doing this you know i mean i don't know there's no way to tell there's no way to know unless aiden slutty reacts to stuff that he's doing i can drop a slutty photo in the chat i can drop one dude a full naked fucking wait i have to do that after the episode we have to take nudes of ourselves wait i have to do that calendar the ludwig ludwig nude makeup on You know what's funny? We look inbred. That's the most loving. No, we don't. Yes, we do. We just look like, I don't know, European. There's like a European country where everyone looks like that. That's what I said. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by HIMS. HIMS gives you access to prescription treatment to stop hair loss and regrow your hair, strengthen it, make it thicker, and also personalize to you, and it can be delivered to your door. That's right. Been using it for, geez, six years now? You've been using it? Pretty much as long as I've known about HIMS. Why would you be using HIMS? You don't have any? No. Oh, my God. I shave. You shave? Yeah, I shave. All of this, I've just always kept it. I like it short. You're telling me that this is your hair, you wear it short. I wear it short. I wear it short. That's a great way to put it. And so for all this time, like HIMS, I've just, treatment starts at $35 a month, and hair loss doesn't have to be permanent. That's what's cool about HIMS. So like, I got started really simple. You answer a couple questions. You get the license provider, and then, you know, you get- I think for a lot of people, it couldn't have to be permanent. I think for you, it might be permanent. You don't shave your head. No, no. Look, I've been using HIMS this whole time. I just, I enjoy, you know, I enjoy the, I enjoy a shorter look. So you're telling me, you use HIMS, your hair grows out, it's thick, it's voluminous, and then you shave it off? It could grow out. Okay. But I shave it before it does that. The moment hair shows, you shave it. I just shave it. Yeah. But like, the hair that grows in right away is like thick. Like you're raising it. Rage baiting your head. Ooh, baby. It feels like, I mean, it feels like, like a Brillo pad, you know? I'm confused. I'm just lost. So you're telling me that you went to HIMS.com slash the yard, and in order to become stronger, more prepared, and to become HIMS, you started taking up the supplements, and then the rage bait your body, you just shave it before it can grow out. It's not a rage bait. It's just a choice. But like, HIMS gave me the choice to be able to grow and maintain awesome hair health and in thickness, I just choose to wear it in a different way. And I feel like you're not believing me, which is annoying. Anyway, are you ready to be HIMS? Visit HIMS.com slash the yard to personalize affordable care for hair loss, weight loss, and other stuff. That's HIMS.com slash the yard. Now, here's the thing. I can tell you this as an expert who wears it short. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not. You're out of here the whole time. Which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality of life. The quality prescription required. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. See the website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. It's all important. Oil razor? Are you. Is it like a straight? I shave every, like, couple days. You know what? You've turned something empowering for me, which is taking control of my hair loss, into something that I'm annoyed to talk to you about. I don't know what to think. So, let's. I guess let's angrily get back to the episode and we'll solve this later off camera. Dude, have you seen the episode? Have you seen the, uh, what's going on on Twitter right now between France and Japan? No. Dude. What's happening between. The girlies are fighting? In a way, the girls are fighting. So, France right now is experiencing protests due to some policies or something. I don't know. Too well versed in it. Oh, you need lemonade stand aid to come in. Save you. Really? Are you up on this? No, I don't give that out on this show. Wow. I don't let it pop on this show like that. Oh, we have to charge and become one of the four Patreon members to get that access to that on Lemonade Stand. Kill yourself. Patreon.com slash the yard. Archie, just answer it with ours. The yard. The yard podcast. The yard podcast. So, okay. Get in. So, France experiencing riots and France contains black people, right? And Japan, Japan is. How does lovely feel about that? Let me hold it. Oh, hold on. Let me take it. Let me take a sip. Just check it. I'm lovely and I'm cool with it. All right. Proceed. Proceed. So, um, so Japan online can be pretty racist against black people. And so they're making fun of France for having black people and, uh, assuming that black people are like sort of the purpose of, of all these, these protests and things going on. And France in reply to that has been essentially calling the whole nation of Japan pedophiles and guys that kill themselves. And they are, if you're looking at like the, the scoreboard, it's like France is like 10 up right now. It's really bad. Zipper, could you please? Okay. So here's one Japanese girl. Where did my box of used sanitary napkins go? Her father in the kitchen. Oh my God. And then it's an anime of a guy licking and eating the entire thing. Uh, this is from Naruto. Some man eating some sort of canister. Can you scroll down? That's 317,000 likes. Dudes will beef over anything. We got Frank. This, we got France versus Japan. Can you just show the next one? Uh, this one, the sperm of a Japanese man searching for the egg after having ended up in an inflatable doll. And it's done. Take from Devil May Cry. Going through some sort of organic labyrinth. Can you just scroll down to this one? That's 429,000 likes. The entire nation is tuning in. The entire, the entire planet is tuning in to watch this, this battle between two nations that are trying to tear each other down. We got to take, we, it's hard to take a side here. I don't know where I have to, I know what side I'm thinking. Well, I'm France. So you got to make a decision. Oh God. Wait, here's what he would do. Siri, flip a coin. Heads, it's France. Oh, I'm racist. Yeah. This isn't, this isn't response to a Japanese person saying, Hey, Japanese people, what do you think of this new French flag? I think it's pretty cool. And the white part of the French flag is turned black. So anyway, this is a very dirty, dirty fight. 300,000 likes. It's a very dirty fight. And I think it's, it's getting these giant amount of attention because like even sort of horrible people can enjoy horrible people. People flinging shit at each other. Well, I, I love it. I love Grok. Oh yeah. Because he translates the tweets. Now we all get to participate very easily. Yeah. Grok brings people together. Dude, they Mr. Beasted Twitter. Is your Siri a guy? Did you make Siri? Dude, you have a man Siri? Did you make your Siri a guy? That's like having your emojis turned to the white person skin tone. You can't make your Siri a guy. What the fuck is the matter with you? Why did you go through this step? You were like, oh, I guess I'll go into the settings. I'll make Siri a guy. I don't like women. I, Ludwig Ogren, I'm taking this stance against women. Finally. Finally. What a funny little thing he did. Make Siri a guy. I had an option today. I was leaving the house and I had these toe shoes that I bought like two years ago. You seen my toe shoes? You bought toe shoes? Why? I have, I have to do it. Now, now you're being a dick. Do they make you? Now you're being a dick and I'm mad. Do they make you more comfortable? Do you feel more, you know, less stimulated by that? You're being a dick. You're being a dick. You're being a dick and I'm mad because I was, I wanted to calmly just pave over the fact that I have toe shoes. Can we do it from the top? I think I can do it. Can we try again? Oh yeah. It's actually remind me. I, I, I had the option today because I got toe shoes. I got them like two years. Did your raptor just smell your toe? Sorry. Why do you look like you smelled like, you smell like bad. Why do you look like that? You got toe shoes. Toe shoes. Sorry. You said you smelled bad. I was going to, I was going to grab them. And my, my actual question was, is if I wore those in my Ludwig outfit today, would they have played or were they not realistic? They're not realistic. It's like, he's pretty whack, but I don't think he's toe shoes whack. No, no, no. I don't. Cause Ludwig, everything Ludwig wears, he thinks are cool. I think people who wear toe shoes, like how they feel or have a utility for them. I'm going to fucking, I'm going to put them on blast right now. You know who wears toe shoes? Dave. B. Dave Walters. B. Dave Walters, our DM. B. Dave Walters. He shows up. He shows up in toe shoes. Yeah. And I look down, I'm like, yes, sir. My first question in my head is always, they make size 15 toe shoes? Yeah. He has massive, he's a huge guy. Do you have to get these custom made? Like a, like a toe shoes, like cobbler. Yeah. That's rare loot. I do think that when you hit 40, you're allowed to, toe shoes are like so on the table, no matter who you are. Yeah. But in your thirties, toe shoes is like, you, you are actually like the, the option to get pussy is grayed out. You can't, you can't click on it. It's unable to be clicked on. But above 40, it's there. Above 40, it's back on. And you go to the roller derby and you meet a nice throuple. Above 40, anything. So much play. I think you can make almost anything play above 40. This is my theory. That, that 40 is like a fun pat, like point to pass in which anything becomes, because on your thirties, you're too busy kind of like leaning on your twenties or you're in the middle of becoming old. But once you're old, it's like smoke crack. Let's rock. I don't even think. I don't think toe shoes are that bad. Really? Like if you were say a young man. What is the point of them? What are they? What are they like? 16 years old. Oh my God. You might have bought more than one. What? Young man, you were wearing toe shoes. What did you use them for? Cross country running. Really? Yeah. Oh, that kind of makes sense. I ran a whole season in them. It was my best season ever. You ran a whole season in toe, you have more toe shoes hours than I do. Yeah. I ran a whole season in toe shoes. It was my best cross country season. Dude, he's been about this Huawei shit for a long time. I guess that's kind of true, right? These are like the Chinese headphones in his ears. Oh my God, is this the same? It's the same thing, man. Of course it's the same. It's spatially exact. You like the fun little thing. Also, I love my headphones. I love those headphones. They're great. Why? They sound bad. Why would you like something that sounds bad? Oh, the microphone? Yeah, you enjoy it. The other concept of a headphone. What are you talking about? I can't imagine. Not really one of the main functions. Dude, in the Lego party video, which got on the main channel, by the way, and I was like, okay, shit, this channel's dying. What was that main channel? - The main channel? - Yeah, Ludwig. - I thought it was Ludwig, oh. - It was Ludwig main channel. - Yeah, wow. is is chewing chips in his mic and it comes through the clearest out of anything he said it's like the chinese frequency has just been tuned to like a potato chip it was crazy and he starts talking you can't hear him as charlie brown teacher it was so i i got to re-enjoy that straight because i had no idea what it sounded like the whole time it sounded like shit it was like insane it was offensive what you did and then you won did you see my ad read no you didn't go watch it i i i saw one of them i mean there's one only one for you to watch is there only one ad in the video there's three but there's one if you don't immediately know what it is okay i don't yeah i did not watch the correct one well you should go check them out didn't do them alone thank you so much by the way for stepping in to help me that was really nice to you it was cool it was cool because you were gone too and you made time i was gone so how did you make time how did i get i'm sure i hope i said things that i meant don't worry about it you definitely don't worry about it you also look really handsome oh the the women that were doing the the prosthetics i like they kept laughing at me while they were it was happening yeah while they were creating what i look like they just kept laughing at me and i'm like aiden they're handsome laughing at me and she was like yeah that's true i that's like when a handsome guy walks in i tend to just laugh at them and that's like my thing and i was like feeling so fucking humiliated and then nick walked in and immediately laughed when he saw us and she's like he's handsome laughing i was curious how a bit had formed i was like you always have a bit oh my god and then so i nick walks in he sees me for the first time and i'm like hello nick it's me ludwig and then and then they're like confused uh well they weren't confused and then nick said uh how long has he been doing the ventriloquist voice they all bust up fucking laughing yeah slam dunk slammed fucking awesome it was easy pickings in there i'm making them giggle i'm making them fucking giggle in there i was telling um i was telling aiden i went to i went to salami's chud league on saturday and it was cool because i haven't gone to something melee a long time and it's in salami's apartment which is really funny and it's a top eight and azul actually came down from norcal which is a pretty big deal and he was going up against venalox who's really really good now i we knew raymond back when he was basically just queuing league with david chong so not a notable melee player to think of but he's really really clean now and he goes um he was he was playing his fox against azul's marth and he wins game one azul takes him to fd and then dr mario comes out from venalox yes dr mario and then the overlay on the stream changes buckle b jones and i'm saying and i'm just saying this to aiden aiden just puts his head down he's like he's like i've lost a buckle b jones you know about buckle b buckle b is it is it alter ego that he has oh yes it's his dr mario he was fucking ranked as buckle b jones and he's solo dr mario and it's good bro it's fucking annoying do you know what it's like to fucking lose to fucking i'm telling you like it's a funny thing that like i've never heard of and and he's just like being haunted with the dog from the vietnam flash this is actually a good story for me because i'm like i now i can point and be like azul's losing to buckle b jones yeah did he win yes oh my god and then the grand finals was khalid venalox oh my god who wait khalid won khalid won yeah we got three owed first game and then won the second set i'll still do that man love that do that they'll pull it back together but it was nice it was nice to reconnect with my roots dude i was thinking you know how old people they they get to this level where they get to wear toe shoes and they get away with it like if you're you're past the 40 mark you get to start making different decisions and it's fine yeah but they that old people are they're not they're not that old they're not that old they're not that old they're not that old i was in a waiting room at the doctor's office this week and this guy he's he's very old and he's watching his phone at full volume and you can tell from the volume that he's watching those like ai micro dramas that are going around yeah and he literally is like he's like half asleep watching but like still doing a little flick with his finger and just like youtubeing with the controller the ghost playing and then and then he he's like half asleep watching but like still doing a little flick with his finger and just falls asleep on on one short that's only like 10 fucking seconds long and it the phone is at full volume like a room full of about 50 people are all looking at this guy and can hear his phone and we listen to the same 10 second short cycle about maybe a hundred times no one woke him up no one cared where this i i caved it was me eventually wow where this woman is screaming it's like it's like you kicked me out of my own company it's like i will not have this this company's been in the family for years and then we listen i'm not kidding we listen that line a hundred yeah you're reciting it you probably have the intonations down and everything and then he's he's like this like slumped in the chair hand on the thing i just i'm looking around i'm like i have to i have to i have to we can't go through this so you're the guy that did it i go over to the guy and i'm tapping on the shoulder sir sir excuse me sir sir and he wakes and then finally it takes me like eight times and he's like oh it does the does the shake yeah and then it looks up at me and he's like uh you fell asleep well you fell asleep you fell and i was like no no and he was like he was like the phone's too loud the phone's too loud i'm like yes i mean it's a little loud and he was starting to get mad at me and i'm like it's fine it's fine sir i just saw you fell asleep i'm just wondering if you could pause the video he's like you gotta watch out you're gonna fall asleep i've been waiting a long time in here and just like an incoherent conversation and everyone in the room is like staring at us have this like sort of altercation and i'm like sir please like it's just it's all good i promise you it's totally fine i just need you to pause the video like we've all heard it and then and then you know like like once one person goes for it everybody feels comfortable chiming in like four people start talking to him too and they're like sir it's been playing for the last 10 minutes it's so loud and i'm like they're upset though and i'm trying to like it's fine it's fine everything's fine we just we just need you to pause the video and then and then i go back and sit down he's finally paused and he but he's awake now and like five minutes later he gets called into his appointment and the thing is like when you're in the waiting room they'll call you in like stages right like you'll go in you'll do your blood work you'll come back out you'll wait for like the next thing so he goes in for like five minutes he comes back to the room and he's like i'm gonna call you back start scrolling again full volume but this he respectfully brought it down to like three quarters he brought it down like a few dots like super audible but it's still really audible to the entire room yeah and and then and then the same thing the same thing happens like he just he's asleep listening to a albeit longer short this time so you don't hear the same audio over and over and everybody is like this is insane like i don't know i don't know how to deal with this and i think it had like in protest like two old people next to him started watching shorts on their phone at full volume instead of like saying something was this in new york no this was in la okay it was before you this was on monday oh my god and i was just i was just like this is insane but this is this is old people like they're all fine with doing this i i went to chubby don you heard of it no part of the chubby cattle family are you fucking with me are you kidding it's called chubby don what is it different i think chubby cattle because we tried to go we tried to go but we weren't like diamond fucking yes it's part of the if i wanted to be a member and i said so i my friend is already a member and you don't treat him i don't see the benefits personally um he was barred from your property honestly it's at the uh what mall is that the santa anita mall i think and um and we were walking and i saw this like old guy and imagine this is his phone he's like sitting on the stairs basically exactly what aiden's saying he's just kind of like this and he's watching an ai drama looks like this too like like he's just watching like an ai drama he's like and i want i have to kind of like step over him to get like past him on this he's just sitting on the stairs like in the middle of stairs i'm like mister go past him i was like oh it's awesome the guy's just like maybe on his break or something we have our entire dinner we come back no fucking way hasn't moved dude that's crazy just locked into like an ai drama about like a couple dramas hit bro apparently they hit apparently they're just one-shotting these old people they are so fucking nuts to be honest with you they're one-shotting a lot of young people i can't talk shit because i right now agar and is still streaming and that is basically me yeah i will also do that but with a guy from germany who says everyone has it has it you have all i have it oh it's still going i have to watch it he got run down today and i wanted to go tell nick i'm like he's getting run down dude there's a guy who's like oh my god he's like oh my god he's like oh my god there was a guy in his chat um last night i think or two nights ago who uh i don't shake just noticed it and he said something in the chat it was a guy who was explaining who you are to agran me yeah he was like it was a guy who was like yeah like his i didn't see what prompted it but a guy in chat was like um slime mentioned you on ludwig's podcast that's why i'm here oh my god like someone heard about this stream on our show and then so you're probably gonna hear this too and then went and started explaining to him who we are augurn if you're here welcome we're three fellas Hello, Ogrens. Yeah, we basically just. Yeah, kinda, yeah. Every episode, we just kind of dress up like Ludwig. We're big fans of him. We're hoping one day we have him on the show. Is this like the. This is the EU guy who's trying to hit rank one? Yeah, he's trying to hit rank one challenger in. He's not going to stop streaming, and he won't shave until he hits rank one in A. I think his visa's going to run out. He keeps getting win traded so much that his visa will run out, and he will be captured. It's kind of beast mode. He's streaming no delay, and he's streaming no cover map. And he's trying to hit rank one. And he's just trying to do it raw like that. He's also doing this while everybody is here for worlds. Yes, all the pros are here. Worlds make it harder, for sure. But also, all of NA is trying to come together to basically kill Sniper. What makes him lucky, though, is all the pros were given master accounts. Yeah. So they would have to play a lot to get to challenger to even be in his lobby. Oh, okay. So he's not going up against Faker, because he's going up against the other challengers. Faker's like master. Faker's like shakes rank. Okay. That's what we're kind of hoping that. I thought he's like Q'ing. He's like Q'ing into like Showmaker, and he's having a bad time. No, no. I think it would be impossible. Still, did we talk about this on the show? I think Showmaker might be the best tag. Showmaker's a great fucking tag. You know who, dude? I'll tell you. You know who was rocking a Showmaker jersey? Yeah. Cliché. Hey, cliché. She has one. It was tough, bro. Chovy's a bad tag. Chovy sounds like something you call someone. Chovy's an insult. Chovy sounds like one of the- He's a Chovy now. Chovy sounds like one of the characters in Donkey Kong Country. We look like Chovies, bro. Yeah, we do look like Chovies. We're like registered Chovies, bro. I don't know. I think Faker's really good. Faker's amazing. But Faker's amazing. Faker's only a good tag if you're amazing at the game. Showmaker's just a good tag. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Shaker's a good tag. Shaker is a good tag. His all- Yeah, his all- Yeah. Is that why he named it that? Are tags that are only- Oh, that is why he named it that. Oh my god. Are tags that are only good tags if you're a good player. Good tags. So, yeah. That's- It hurts. Because there's a melee player. I think it's BrownDogsAreCool42. Yeah. And it's like, imagine that player in top eight. It's- Is it plus or minus or? Is BrownDogsAreCool42 a tag that needs to remain 2-2 capped? My issue with that tag in particular is it's one of many tags they've had. And I don't like people who change their tag all the time. Yeah. I'm not a fan of the Quang, Kumquat Cylinder type melee player. Okay, yeah. Where it's like your tag is different every couple months. I'm like, you don't have a tag. Because I'm just going to call you Quang. I'm going to call you the first tag. I'm going to call you the tag we- When you got- When you got good. Yeah. The one we all knew about when you got good. And that's your tag forever. Do you think so? Okay, well, okay. Here's a theory. What if the Dank Rooster from Claremont becomes a top ten melee- Or top ten melee player. Yeah. And James is just- Our friend James just has like, you know, a breakthrough and he becomes the most amazing. But he changes his tag to like, I don't know, like the Flaming Sword. Right. Are we calling him the Flaming Sword? No. No. I mean, for what- No. He's kind of like Aiden in the sense that he has- He has a tag that we know him by, Calvin, but we call him a nickname, Eamon. No one calls his ass Calvin. No, I know. We call him a nickname, Eamon. But he has a melee tag. Whereas like James, Dank Rooster, we call him James. Yeah. He also has a nickname. So I wouldn't even call him Dank Rooster. I'm more talking about, sure, but it's like, I guess it has to be someone you don't know, but you know of for this long. You know what's funny? I still to this day call Asashi young. That's true. That's crazy. Because I'm just like- I'm like, that's young. But that's how you got to know them. That's the kid who went to the balcony. That's how you got to know them. That's how I met him. I feel this way with, there were certain people in the Mario Kart community that were like that. There was a really, really good player back in the day whose tag was just cool. That's really good. If you're good. If you're one of the best players, it's kind of tight. Cool. Yeah, I play cool round two and fuck. And then cool changed their tag to Kalua, which is like the main character from Hunter Hunter, which is just one of the worst changes of all time. What a downgrade. I know. Because it's like, especially with hindsight goggles, it's like everybody who watched anime changes their tag to Kalua for a bit. Yeah, I got lucky, man. Because my tag is so easy to say that it's what Ludwig and Cutie call me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that weird? There's certain people who get that, though. Like, there's just people who fall into that category. I can't believe you chose another man's name as your tag. You know who did call me Calvin? Who? It's insane. It's a few weeks ago. This episode of LS hasn't come out. We're interviewing a tax expert. Her name is Ray Madoff, and she's like a professor. But she came in, like, prepped for the interview because her son watches the show. And then she's like, okay. Wait, you're a lemonade stand or the yard? Lemonade stand. Okay. Elson. That's the tallest he's going to get. So she comes on the show, and the first thing she asks is like, what should I call you guys? Like, by your first name? Or by your names? And then she goes down the line. Like, should I call you Doug, Doug, H-Rock, and Calvin? And I was like. They had to laugh at you. I was like, that's crazy. Because no one calls me that. Like, the only people who call me that anymore are like old Mario Kart players. Do you have like a Wikipedia that says this? You know who did this? Yeah. I think his name's FiCast. He casted when we did the CS thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a cool guy. Yeah. But he clearly didn't know any of us besides Ludwig, and then was calling us our Twitter names. Yeah. In the game. Yeah. And I was like. Falco gonna be watching the flank. He probably should look a little bit more to the left here. Slime Machine going down really early again with a full belt. Which I kind of like calling you by Slime Machine, like in a formal Counter-Strike setting. You know what I just want to add? I think it's kind of cool. I've always wanted to change my Twitter app because I think it sucks. But at the time, I was like, well, I have all these bad Melee articles. No one will know where to find me. And now that's like not a thing at all. I could do it. But now it's like it's been too long. Yeah. Anyway, that guy raised up three fingers when he said all that shit. That's true. That's true. Inglourious bastard. Oh, yeah. When you meet, you meet like a Ludwig, like not, not like I'm trying to think of a good like, like Magnus Mippo maybe is a good example where you meet someone like that. And then it's like the way they talk to you. It's like you read my Twitter bio. Yes. That is the extent to which you know who I am. But that's why I don't think, I don't think Calvin's a bad pull. You have to dig a little deeper. You do have to dig. But then you are, unfortunately, what you unearth is a man who chose another man's regular name as his tag for a gamer. First of all, it wasn't a man. It was a boy. A man by Al. He chose a boy's name. Oh my God, Hobbs! He's a tiger! Yeah. In hindsight, biggest flub maybe ever was to not choose Hobbs just instead. Just way better pictures. Dude, you should have went with Spiff. Spiff. I, I had a. That would have been cooler. So I made an alt. I made an alt in Mario Kart Wii. Like people would like make new forum accounts and stuff and like lie that they were other people. And my alt was Spiff. That's very cute. Like no one could figure it out. Yeah, that's very cute. That's so much cooler. Yeah. And I had a, I had a Spaceman Spiff me where I like lowered the eyebrows to turn it into a head. That's so bad. That's so cute. Now that I've, I've spent a day as Ludwig, I actually, there was a moment where I sort of downloaded his psyche and I was able to see into his life. What did you see? I saw a moment where he opened his rocket money on his new iPhone duo that he got. He's really excited about. He was in the old, the open folded mode. Yeah. And there's a crease on the screen already. And there's already a crease. It's insane. He just got the phone. It's interesting. And what I saw on there is, dude, he has subscriptions to 11 different Japanese loot box kits. That come to his house every single month. And each one is $1,200 a month. You know, he always talks all this, like this bullshit, you know, at streamer use, like I got employees to take care of. I do this to support a team and enrich people's lives. It's, it's, it's mostly, I mean, it's mostly. And he's paying for, he's paying for three portions of cat food. And the third one said it was for Nick yingling. No. Yes. You're shitting me. I'm not kidding. And rocket money is good for this type of thing. Cause it'll take all of your, your subscriptions and it'll show you them in one place. So for specifically your unwanted ones, you can go inside and you can let rocket money cancel them for you because rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. I don't know why Lubbock won't just use it to cancel the subscription. When you were inhabiting his eyesight, really in his mind, were you able to influence him to maybe use rocket money to remove some of this cat food and these gambling things that he's been doing? I tried, but there was like another force. There was like a 23% force somewhere located down here that was fighting me. It was like, it was, it was fighting back at me trying to take control. A percentage based force. That's right. That was gravitational. Heavy. Yeah. Heavy. You could feel it's pulled. And it stopped you from making any influence over this decision through him. I was lucky enough when I was in the app, I was able to turn on the setting where he gets alerts. If his bills, his prices increase. I was able to turn some settings on that can help him get notified when there's unwanted changes in his spending, but I wasn't able to press the buttons for him. So we might have to take his phone when he gets back. Well, guys, you can let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. Even it's through some, even if it's through something like astral projection or anything like that, try for $0 at rocket money.com slash yard. That's rocket money.com slash the yard. Let's go back to the episode where we look pretty crazy. Too many plushies. My tag just always sucked. I envy is good. Am I crazy? I think it's not great, but I don't think it sucks, but I'm not moved by it. I think it's just, I think it sucks by proxy. Like it never caught on. Like everyone just called me Nick. And I think there's a reason. Oh, no. When people, people didn't call you by your tag. Only if they didn't really know me. Like Kira called me envy, but like he didn't know me that well. Yeah. Well, the people, when they start to get to know you, they just don't say that. They only ever see me at tournaments. Like I like, but Dave called my a slime the whole way down. It's pretty rare to have a tag. I think it's cause it's pretty rare to have a tag that is easier to say than your name. Right. Uh, yeah yeah i guess we've talked about this before you kind of go with what's easiest yeah and catchiest dude you know what's funny i was at the hustler it says because salam lives like way down in torrance and that's where most of the casinos are so chud league ends and i'm like you know what i'll play poker and i'm still from that mr beast game there's a giant rotator of like players that have played there and i'm still there and it's me from four years ago and it says anthony bruno like i'm a pro poker player and it just rotates there's also a guy named israeli mike who like who like has his arms crossed and i hate seeing israeli i don't even know him but it's bad vibes you and israeli mike in the rafters the picture of me is actually really nice i'm like sitting at a table i'm laughing it's like it's like i think a great picture of me and israeli mike is like a full body like on a dark picture and he's just standing there with his arms folded you throw down aces versus israeli mike he goes those are not the aces the dealer goes they aren't aces i'm kind of there saying like well the un said they were aces yeah and ludwig's also there those are my aces what happens sometimes at the hustler which is so funny is people will like they'll kind of fucking look at you like what and then they'll get the courage and then be like have i seen you somewhere and i'll wait for the rotator to be like bang guess what that's me and i'm like you know the guy that phil helmuth angled he's like that was you and all of a sudden the table lights up which is nice because then you know oh they all know that moment because that was like a huge moment it was like phil helmuth angling me was like poker news doug paul covered it and he called me a kid he's like i can't believe he did this to this kid oh that's so sweet and i was like that's so sweet thank you so much dude i was there uh so i was there that night and this guy is so fucking trashed he's like he's he's like dangerously drunk in the way that i think his heart will stop he's like doing this and he sits down and it's uh it's 500 1k buy-in so it's a it's the 5-5 table it's kind of no it's like 300 anyway he sits down he buys for the minimum and he's like whenever he's playing he can't like throw a chip in that fast he can't comprehend he can't everything he does is like 0.25 x and it's very annoying because everyone just wants to play and so i'm the guy kind of like you who i was fine with but i was like i'm not gonna play i'm not gonna play i'm not gonna he wins a hand like barely and accidentally and he's scooping up his chips and the dealer kind of doesn't want to deal chips when there's this big pile or deal cards in a big pile and so she's kind of waiting and i was like hey and i pat the table like hey speed it up now it's this kind of dick thing to do but i don't care because he's been so slow yeah yeah and he looks at me he's like still really slow and he just stares at me and i'm like speed it up come on we gotta play come on man you're slowing down the game and he just nods and he keeps doing it anyway he does it again we get in a hand i beat him in a hand i scoop him i'm scooping up my chips i'm going the normal speed i'm not trying to needle him and he looks at me he's like you got a fucking mouth and i'm scooping up chicks chips so i'm like on top of the world if i had lost i'd be salty but i didn't so i'm like yeah bro well you're moving like you just got into a car accident this guy next to me starts dying laughing and he's like you look like you got into a car accident and i'm easily baited so i'm like no you do which is like the lame thing to say anyway so he busts out and he's sitting there and you can kind of hang out for a little bit to you know you can you can lock the seat and go get more money it's very common but he locks the seat and doesn't do anything and he's just on his phone he gets up and he's like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die he gets up goes to the atm very slowly again so basically the seat is locked down he's gonna go keep getting money and losing it to the table and uh he comes back with no money and he sits down starts dialing on his phone and he starts talking to somebody and he goes yeah yeah i did he's obviously trying to get money out and there's some sort of luck and whatever and he's like yeah it's my money oh my god it's my money and he's like are you fucking rich oh my god i'm like and the whole table is just watching this happen as we're playing cards and then and then he hangs up and he's like all mad and i'm like that the wife and he's like yeah as if he forgot that he was mad at me yes drunk dudes are really good at this he's like yeah and i'm just factory set every few years you're on my team now yeah and i was like that the wife he's like yeah and i'm like he's like yeah she is which is not something i usually say but i you know i apparently yeah and then when you're reading of mice and men and so and so he ends up bro he he went back to the atm he got he he convinced his wife and through all the things he said to her that it was his money and he keeps coming back and when you when you bust out you can you can short buy so you can buy for less at the table minimum it kind of keeps coming back and when you when you bust out you can you can short buy so you can buy for and so he's short buying for like two hundred dollars losing it very quickly and he went to the atm like three times and i'm like this guy's ruining his life but dude he kept ordering a beer so he's still drinking and i'm like dude if this guy's driving home like i hope he fucking drops dead instead because he seems like the kind of guy that would just waddle to his car yeah yeah and then drive really fast down like the 110 or something and fucking kill somebody anyway that all happened and uh that was a funny it's cool dudes that are that drunk they can like they like forget how monogamy works and they like cheat on their wives and stuff but they like know the rule of poker you know like they don't forget they don't forget that stuff oh my god it was so fucked up bro okay so oh my god it's a must move table meaning that there's a main game and you got to get moved over every time someone leaves the main game to keep the games like people from hopping around and shit and there's only two tables they stream the main game too right no it's not that game that's like the big game for the big guys this is like just regular people okay okay and so i i'm at the i'm next up on the must move and it's my last hand and i have ace 10 offsuit and i put in a bunch of money and it folds around to him and he's mad at this because he's mad at me again and he's and he looks at me and he's like what and i'm like hey nothing man everything's good but it is your action sir like a dealer would say because he's fucking taking forever i mean it's your action i've made it 30 to go and he's like what do you got ace 10 and he folds it was unbelievable i was dude dude that's what i'm saying he's locked in that's what i'm saying i was so crazy and then i got up and he loses his attention because i'm not in his vision cone i tell the rest of the guys at table i'm like bro i did have ace 10 and they're all like cinema yeah then i went to the must move oh dude the show there the show there would be you have the stones of a fucking god i was too proud are you kidding me give this guy a power roll and the power is entirely in your hand and you're like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god to be like it's shifted back to you sir here good if he was perceptive enough to read my face when he said that i probably did something oh my god he's just oh okay we're haunted okay we're actually haunted but it's actually haunted okay i believe in that we never got around to tell the rest of what made us so scared in our lives what made you the most scared what made us the most scared in our lives made me the most scared in my whole life i almost drowned one dude i almost drowned too that's scary i almost drowned it at lifeguard didn't save me it was my friend's mom she saw i was like kind of i could i was the water was too high and she just pulled me out of the pool and i'm crying oh because you can't swim i can't swim i was also like nine years old yeah so don't be an asshole because like i could swim now probably can you swim in toe shoes you think better yeah so bad they make swimming shoes i guess they're webbed and then you would swim oh they're webbed or swimming shoes are webbed but uh yeah it was that time one time i was riding on the back of an atv like my mom knew this rich guy and he would have a bunch of people over and he had an atv and it was two of us on the back of it and he's ripping it and he's hammered and he goes up this hill really high and then it goes sputters out and the hill's too steep it falls on us and the guy basically drunkenly flips the atv off of us but it like landed on my head and it like i had this i still have a scar like it was right on the side of my eye bone and it was like crazy bleeding and like burnt because some hot part of the thing and i thought i was gonna die and i was like saying i love you mom really i just got the wind knocked out of me yeah but when you're like a little kid that's you're dying knocked out of you is one of the scariest fucking things ever it's disgusting bro it's you think your life's over i thought dude i got i got the wind knocked out of me on the playground in seventh grade and this kid just made fun of me because the sound i made i guess i can repeat i'm not embarrassed anymore but i got i got knocked down to the ground because the guy tripped me for fun we were tripping each other it was it was you're tripping i'm trying to sound like i didn't get bitch he tripped me first and i didn't trip him back but we were tripping each other we were tripping each other bro we were doing this thing we were tripping each other sometimes he tripped me way more a classic seven-year-old tripping battle i was in seventh grade so i was i was 13 with going through puberty we all tripped we all dueled it was icy i remember it and he fucking kicks my legs out from under me and just slams me to the ground i fall on my back and my wind gets knocked out i start going yeah scared never let your girlfriend see the wind knocked out of you like the biggest ick any of us could give off is the wheezing panting like scared i i can think of bigger ick i could give her not your girlfriend you said you could go home and close the deal right now back shots from ludwig if i went dude i if i if i went actually you know what let me facetime her really quick i want to get a react i want it live lady jaguar reaction lady jack what does lady jaguar have to say what do you think when i get home is she looking does she have a professional business dress on maps do i kind of look like ludwig hey oh my god that looks crazy i'm on the podcast do you think i look good the gap is insane i don't know i thought we would look like ludwig but we don't five hours on that yeah it was a couple hours yeah three hours yeah would shut up boy i have a question would you would you be okay bye i love you literally sleeping outside you're sleeping on the porch i guess she doesn't think ludwig's hot i feel like i'm safe i guess it's a slight ludwig and not me i feel like i need to call her i feel like i need to call yeah i think whoa there's kool-aid popping oh no dude yeah kool-aid makes me look insane there's kool-aid pop this is tight thank you for what the fuck you're back right what are you gonna do i'm just a bitch uh-oh hold it close you're on the podcast hi um if i so just i'm just posturing something here if i looked like this forever would you would you still sleep with me it's something it's something about the chin it's the chin what about the teeth what about the teeth do my teeth look fine that's fine oh the teeth are fine so it's really just the chin for you yeah that's not good nick said i look like wallowee don't say oh wait you say genuinely because aiden said that if he could probably go home and close the deal with you looking like this he said he could still hit no can you say yes so we could like edit it in later and i'll feel better so people don't make fun of me no okay bye i love you no don't need to rub it in it's fine it's love you dude we can have archie we'll have archie my girlfriend said you look like you make intricate peanut butter sculptures in your basement i'm not kidding bro i've seen like pictures of roller derby rockabilly night they had to put it only on one tooth she didn't answer i'm chopped oh this is just pop rocks kool-aid flavored but it says goulade and honestly kind of creative here the kool-aid man has a brain exposed out of his kool-aid jar head that's gonna contaminate the kool-aid or it'll contaminate the brain think about it that who likes candy don't get brain in my kool-aid dude that might would your brain still work the same if you like if you soaked it in kool-aid you would just think differently that's all i think you'd be more aggressive for sure you think so no it would depend on the color yeah the color matters like if you dunk my if you if you submerge my brain in blue kool-aid copy done was purple kool-aid man not busting down walls too i don't think there's other kool-aid men the kool-aid man just read the kool-aid man is only red zipper can you check if there are other kool-aid men is there a kool-aid woman that now that's a question zipper are there kool-aid tits can you go to deviant art and look up oh look at the punch bunch that's cool wait so there are is this real only the red one who's aggressive and mean dude the kool-aid man is a really cool character yeah it's really smart oh yeah oh yeah uh it looks like there's something called the punch bunch wow and the weird there's like friends kool-aid man yeah that probably needed a video essay okay the strange sadness of the kool-aid man's punch punch three hours long h bomber guy 20 million views the downfall of the kool-aid man it's like the most fucked up bad looking photo of him dude have you ever watched like a jenny nichols video julius pringles that's his name do you remember that one guy on twitter it was the japanese like ad guy i forgot his name already but that was very short-lived mascots didn't oh the one in japan yeah it would like tweet and like get in crazy situations what's his name i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know what's his name he's a big like cartoon animal yeah but we just forgot about it really fast we just don't well i guess ai cartoon stuff is kind of infiltrated i saw i saw at least four places that sell sushi in new york that had an ai animal with ai sushi in its paws outside the restaurant it's really clockable weirdly like for some reason there's a singular couple singular but there's like a moment please handful of fonts hey quick question for you yeah why are you laughing i think you got something on your teeth where i have an important question for you technically nothing is in the middle um if i looked like this forever would you still let me hit um wait give her the look give her the look give her the look give her the look give her the look give her the look okay oh wait you give her the look you hold it yeah yeah yeah here give her the what when he does the look it's better i feel like what's it up i would give you a little smooch on top of your head you give me a little smooch on top of my head oh cool a friend smooch that's all you get i want i want i want more why i want more i'm crusty it's not peeling off it's it's peeling that's a real fucking rude thing to say i know all women are like that you know you're you're bitch you wouldn't hit you wouldn't let me hit i don't i don't think so i'm sorry but at least a little smooch on the head will do it'll do i'll take it it'll do wait wait actually if you can help me capture this bug maybe i will hit whoa okay that's tax of service there's a bug i can see it right here it's very small it's very small i would pretty much just i would do that to hit so i'll be there soon i'm gonna look like this i'm ludwig she's like i'll handle the fucking bug it's not that scary i guess i guess you're more ugly than the bug is scary yeah yeah she really doesn't like bugs she hates bugs she kind of looked at me like i was a bug to be honest well you're giving some bug vibes i'm french and inbred i'm a bug still human i'm sorry sir i didn't mean to i didn't mean to offend you being ludwig is so hard it is hard i realized while being ludwig you know what i realized is that having a business is just too hard having a business is just too hard i don't know where to put all the money i get all this money i don't know where to put it you could i get all of it in cash all of it in cash i get all the money being ludwig in cash all the streamers streaming viewers they give me cash why don't you try i'm being handed burlap sacks of cash why don't you try why don't we why don't we use maybe a platform for your business when you sell products it's gonna be really easy it's called shopify your shopify you're gonna take what you sell to your customers it could be anything it could be food it could be it could be clothes it could be services it could be ideas and then shopify is the back end that you like upload the products to mogul moves can use it mogul moves could use it we have mogul moves has used it but i'm just a small business i'm just a small business it's you i only have like 13 employees but it doesn't matter a small business it could be one employee nick it's gonna be fine mogul moves could be able to take it use it you know i noticed this i went to a small jewelry vendor recently in new york and not only does shopify have like a back end for like online orders and stuff they sell little like credit card readers and like check out things for your in-person business so i could take the cash put the cash you could still take the cash and accept the orders it's fine shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide tiny ones like yours i don't think it's the right time to start there's so many pathetic businesses like mogul moves it helps power them this is the right time to start it's the hall it's the holiday it's a bad time that's the best time to start there's actually no better time to start and what i'm thinking what i'm understanding now nick is that i think you need to more understand that the concept of money is mostly digital these days yeah i see that's something that we can kind of figure out later together with you oh my god shopify new sales sound shopify new sales sound it's inhabiting my body oh the shopify salesman the shopify he's coming for us and i feel like certain people just really need to have less of a say in the government god we're gonna we're gonna be in sales now yeah we're unfortunately like mitchell musso i'm gonna get a dy after this ludwig has to live like that every day i'm getting a lot of perspective yeah right this is like why he became what here's the thing you know maybe streamers become streamers because the outside world was a little too unforgiving yes so true yeah that ludwig's journey has kind of been that and now we get to see that from his perspective we're not the chads that we were six hours ago we're chopped i don't even remember what life was like when i was a chad i feel like it's just so different now everybody's treating me different richard came in yeah richard's mouthing off now like he feels like he can talk to us like richard struck me you're kidding i can't i couldn't believe it and i didn't have i didn't feel like i had anything i could do back i was kind of frozen i was kind of frozen i saw him do it tonight i don't like i don't like him standing up for himself am i not in charge anymore i got just leader hosen too he's just so unappreciative i have this idea of like like rich is visible sometimes in the the lambo and stuff like that but i i love the the mythos of like what people think rich is and does yeah and he's like this guy who loves halloween and star wars it's just kind of like skulks around the office just coughing on shit we get really mad at him and we strike him whenever we feel like it sometimes i strike him a great day he's a guy we found on craigslist who has long covid and we just beat him up all the time now he's turning the tables on us and he's turning the tables because we don't have pretty privilege we don't have the halo effect on it lookism i realize i realize everything i had in my life before was because of the way that how handsome i was oh my god did your girlfriend send me a picture of you dude you know the picture no this was the first one i actually this was the first one where i was like you can't send it to him because it will be shown on the show i know i actually didn't plan to and i won't i'm going to show nick and then i just want the live o'reilly reaction i she sent me this and i said this is like being shown how to build a nuclear bomb i can't i don't understand how it looked like this dude you look like a valorant champ how is it doing that there's a wisp his hair became this like oh it's so thin horribly thin wisp of like kind of like a flame i look like i'm i'm hanging on to the last tendrils of my hair do you feel like you are no that's the thing it's more full than than ever it's more full than ever oh i kind of see what's happening the reflection looks like it makes you think it's transparent oh my god that's a good point that's a reflection it looks like light passing through it's not it's not passing through it's bouncing off wow wow it's very interesting i was afraid i was like if this breaks containment this is my burger shake you like this is it could be it could be weaponized against me you look like when they screenshot something from unreal engine to show how good the lighting is like hair with ray tracing pre-rendered yeah look how it passes through wow volumetric fixed it wow they fixed this we're gonna show no one else that photo okay we're gonna keep that photo dude the shape is crazy keep that photo contained i think i'm not going to contain it i think i'm yeah i actually saw it in theaters toy story five why they gotta make woody bald i think it's fine as the old guy dude as a bald i think it's hilarious i think the fact that a toy can have a bald spot and he's self-conscious about it they bring it up like the from the moment they introduce it they just keep bringing it up every time the sun oh so what he's on the yard podcast that's cool that's cool was like yours also bald we don't talk about that do we you're buzz wait he's not as it pertains to the yard you're buzz i'm buzz i just the you're jesse he's woody wait buzz isn't bald i'm rex wait does he does he have like uh you're not rex we'll get to that does he have like um a thing over his head yeah i know it's a space suit he's got purple it's like a purple inner part of the suit yeah but you're just assuming he's not bald under it no no no doesn't he show his hair can you google his hair yeah buzz like your hair deviant art what is this is all ai no this is from this is from the twitter is freaking out about buzz's hair does buzz lightyear have hair not with hair i don't need to say i need a truth hair wait these are all screenshots from a real movie by the way okay the in the fandom article it says buzz lightyear's real analogy has real hair damn that sucks i guess the action figure has hair that's fucking crazy well i told you what can you do he is on that shit okay you're rex what you are a cinema i think you're someone who's cunning but foolish so you're not rex she just texted me again said you actually just look so gross i'm not even kidding that's what she said you actually just look so gross you have to think about it she thought about it longer it was like you look disgusting wait wait i do feel bad so anthony and before we were recorded you said you said this is an insane episode for ludwig to watch because this is like it looks like what we think he looks like oh my god okay my girlfriend's an arcing she's she sent me a uh the group chat it's your guys's girlfriends zipper two says it's so disgusting lol i actually can't look at them and zipper three replies so fucking ugly what the fuck that's awesome see this is what we deal with so you see all the dick hates women this is what i have to put up with yeah yeah put it with abuse she calls me fucking names she calls me ugly she says i'm so gross she says i don't fuck right she always tells me i saw this one too that was like why'd i get my mama dick man i thought about it all day tough out there boys it is tough dude you do she i feel like she's lying to me i was like if i'm all what because she said if i'm all fucked up and bald and well she wanted it yeah she'd like when you got your head actually there's a picture right there that's from my one man show that's on the patreon probably right now but you're when you looked like that which is the craziest you've ever looked from the rockathon she wanted to take you home yeah and that was beautiful she still wanted it don't say like that looking like that dressed like that looking like that i actually i actually i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm pushing her over the edge i'm pushing her away from me and i can i can understand that yeah yeah you're being you're being avoidant wow i did i was waluigi for halloween as a kid and i feel like i feel like that's always been me you know that crazy old picture of you like the iconic facebook one with the wizard hat yeah do you have the wizard hat baby somewhere your old shit yeah that's a relic it's at my parents i think that genuinely gives ap if you put it on at this point yeah i should i i think you should retrieve it next time okay instead of fucking arguing with your dad about how awesome trump is you should fucking get the wizard hat and do something good with your dad that i cannot fucking talk to you about how kicking people off snap is bad dad i need to get to fucking do you think your dad would rather i need to get a fucking wizard hat from the closet upstairs yes yes it's in the box with the photos of my dead mom like he's walking upstairs he's like really like you just shouldn't be able to get on it if you don't have a job dad not now do you think your dad would rather you look like this permanently forever or kiss boys oh and it's it's it's tough ugly son or gay son no daughter yeah boomer dad's like ultimate horrible nightmare no because he'll be funny i'll make sure he's funny i'll it's it's just it's tough for him it's tough for him uh what if my boyfriend was ugly oh my god do you imagine you have like let's say you have like a homophobic or bigoted father okay and you're gay yeah and that's like a relationship that you guys kind of work through but your father still loves you and he's trying to figure it out but he's still got a lot of holdovers right and you bring home like a fucking dump truck looking boyfriend chop cheese you bring up a chop the aki way you bring home the aki way and he's also not even that charming or funny or like he doesn't like you know make up for this this this problem quote unquote do you think well i guess my real question is if you brought home a hunk does dad kind of be like all right that's my boy oh that's my son very interesting like you pull You put like a 9.5 Yeah I feel like No because not to say this is aiden's dad by the way i'm just saying i feel like the job is better i'm teasing because i feel like your dad has enough it gives it gives your dad enough cognitive dissonance to be like that's just his homie you know that's just the that's just that's just the job homie they're just friends you know but if it's like if i bring if i bring walks in like a like a six three hunk yeah i think in this my hypothetical dad is threatened and actually it does not like it interesting i think my your boyfriend in this hypothetical scenario needs to be just mid enough it's like hitting the it's like hitting the little green spot in mario strikers yeah on the chart shot for two yeah like sort of like um i guess like how jacob alorti looks like sort of like a a skinny but like handsome i'm saying green when you play strikers green green i've never thought of that game i mean the same thing but this is i think if you're if you've dealt with this in the past on in the comments sound off because i think that's it's a great there's a moment in your dad's eye where he's kind of like oh what a hunk i mean god damn it yeah i gotta house these guys for christmas fuck you know wait jacob alorti would be the worst example i'm sorry maybe i'm thinking of somebody else i'm thinking of someone he would be the hunk in this situation i thought he was like a wispy kind of no jacob alorti is like like man of the year like oh i'm thinking somebody else handsome guy it's like it was a weird example because you named like the hottest guy he's boy sydney sweeney oh yeah in the in the i feel like in the eye of the yeah like tear yeah guy well what did you even do in new york did you sing the song did you sing empire state of mind uh on the street in front of my girlfriend spinning around other people and i embarrassed her a little it was okay uh we i went to a wedding in nantucket massachusetts and i was there for like three days what do you go for three days for fucking because the wedding had a bunch of shit oh it was a big wedding the wedding had a bunch of shit to do okay and then i did i did that and then hang out in new york i went to the morning brew office which was like shit yeah it's kind of cool which was which was if you're a news head that's kind of cool it was about it was it was crazy they have like an entire floor of a building to vote i i thought it was going to be one of those small little content offices that you see for some groups and it was like it was like it was like a small little content office that you see and it was like there's there's like enough desks here to sit like 80 people do you think that's real fucking journalism do you think they're doing real fucking journalism yes yes bro yes dude because that shit's gone now i did oh so they do it's fucking gone now it died with mark ruffalo when he exposed all those pedophiles in boston he did mark did great work and now he can't get it and now he can't get any work fucking job because he spoke up for palestine and he got all those pedophiles we'll get him in the ben shapiro movie we get mark ruffalo is correct in the movie yeah in the ben shapiro movie he's like it goes way over that shit's crazy by the way i know movie how the the poll they have they got fucking uh they got with james franco oh my god they got a wait james franco's in it yeah james franco's in it um danny trejo but they duped danny trejo yeah because his son was like my dad don't have internet yeah and he didn't know it was like this which is that that's the only thing i saw that about it and i saw that weird scene where like a guy throws somebody off of a building and he's like oh my god he's like oh my god he's like oh my god he's like oh my god he's like oh my god he's like oh my god i think there's a homosexual off of a building and and uh because that's what you know that's what they do yeah i i was sad to not get a call back um from the ben shapiro movie i mean i hate to say you don't got a face for a lead brother i can be hateful on camera you could be like a like a racist extra dude what do you think dude a racist extra who's kind of grappling with like how racist should i be like they're trying to get it like extras try to really be in the role they try to take it really seriously but they like kind of overdo it yeah you like it's oh my god he just says it the really racist guy on the phillies who who's yelling at jackie robinson in 42 yeah you look dude you're an extra and you're all cast for that and the guy next to you is just like way too into it yeah yeah but then you're kind of like well if i'm not into it enough i'm kind of being a bad extra yeah so then you're like am i our extra well i just don't have speaking lines because they get they they don't get paid as much but it's interesting trying to be because ben's on set trying to be really racist because you're a big fan you're like swearing you're trying to get it all out me getting me getting extremely racist except against jewish people in front of ben yeah i got all i got fucking problems with well well hey ben how's it going you get all bashful even the italians jews are fine now ben's walking around in his fucking his heel lifts trying to trying to command respect and you're like wow ben you're so tall he's got a tiny little director's chair he's sitting in he doesn't like climb into it like a baby and he puts down the baby tray that they have to eat on from the top he's got like applesauce and he starts saucing and spooning into his mouth cut cut not racist enough not racist enough james run it again take five diapy change loudly where's danny loudly talking about what roles i'd take like 10 feet away from ben like i'd i'd do racist bluey i'd do racist i did watch a video that did like a deep dive on everything that like daily wire subscription service has published and they just have like insane like they have basically nothing made and it's still like 30 a month and and they have like insane kids cartoons oh god that they've just they've pumped out are they associated with prager you or is it like competing marketplace of ideas i don't think it's the same thing as prager you was kind of considered like the go-to spot to raise your kid to be a neo-nazi and kill people and shit you watch these like powerpoint presentations yeah it's like what's the of why the slavery was it they they do these like cute little animations of like slavery wasn't that bad what is it corporate memphis it's corporate memphis art like hr like art of like black people smiling because like racism actually yeah it was like it was always fine oh wow this this lovely animated powerpoint is is telling me it was using like the happy tree friends to talk about racism you sit down you sit your kid down and you're just like well good luck kiddo i'm gonna make you into a super soldier i am have you guys tried touching lightly touching the tip of your nose it feels very strange it feels like you can't feel it but you can't do you go to the dentist yes it feels exactly like being a dentist and you're the numbing is wearing off yeah and it's like half oh it's weird how that was really good that's exactly what it feels like yeah i'm fucking articulate bro right that's what love would say yeah i'm fucking smart yeah bro i'm fucking articulate bro fucking good like that fuck you guys you bitch me by the way yeah oh you bitch me you bitch me by the way and i and i go oh what did he bitch you for you bitch papa you're gonna pay i wouldn't bitch you i don't know you're my boy we'll be we'll be buried together i'm not gonna be buried with you i'm not gonna be buried with you and he'll bring up something that you obviously forgot about but he didn't but when he says it you immediately start rolling your eyes because you're a little bit guilty about it but not entirely guilty because there's a lot more to the story and he's already taken off with the narrative that is hard to uncover and it would take a lot of time we're actually in a fun little bit of time right now because he's he has started admitting his self-awareness like he has started to voice the things that we've known he always must know about himself but he is saying he knows them now things like yeah normally i would uh secretly uh hate this person for the rest of my life and punish them by never giving them opportunities until they're dead but instead this time i decided i would go tell them he started saying these things very plainly and i'm like so you do know you do that i wasn't in the room for this but that's awesome it's cool it's really i've been in the room a few times he's doing shit yeah yeah he is i'm gone he's voicing his self-awareness he is selfie oh he's been somewhere the whole time to his credit some of these things that he engages with he's also improving upon i feel like he he's taken his he's taken a lot of the faults that we've made fun of him for on the show over the years and made an effort to correct them yeah but only recently pissing me off you know how long i've been giving him shit for one thing and then he changes it eight years later kill yourself i think he had to get married for i think he was waiting to get married to start kind of because i'm a family man now i think he has a complex where because he is married he feels like he must be more responsible with everything now yeah and he takes himself more seriously which is very responsible for a family if you if you read his ama i read he's such a bored cocksucker bro he's an ama yeah he starts he he can't stream so he starts freaking the fuck out and he starts doing fucking instagram amas while he's at the airport no one care what people care i care but it's so funny bro it's just like oh you want to stream so bad don't you just loves that shit man but if you read his ama he the way he describes it is that his 20s were about self-improvement but his 30s are about being the best friend and family member he can that's this mental chain isn't that crazy he's flipping the paradigm no more self-improvement ludwig now he's full on to his relationships i feel like i don't wait i'm not like i've noticed it i don't even think his 20s was about self-improvement i don't even believe i think it was more so it was it was about pursuing his career personal goals everything was like everything was structured i i consider self-improvement to be like when you work out or something yeah but he was also doing that yeah but it wasn't that wasn't central to his life i think whether even if okay maybe he misspoke them but i think he meant the first thing i think he meant like everything was very like i have goals in my career and i want to hit i want metrics i want to hit sure i want to do this many things i want to support you know what he shouldn't have said self my 20s was about improvement maybe you did i don't remember what exactly no he did i'm just trying to correct him pedally i think we're being a little pedantic about my ama oh my god hold on i like this only i know what i actually feel like i'm being drawn into this right now what is this do not be do not judge my words but he yeah i think that's his big stride in the last few years try to just continue you are like you are like you are trying to orgasm nasty fucker wait that's no don't stop in the last couple years don't do that can i not talk about my friend can i not talk about stop your nipples are hard now you make them hard by touching them can i not talk about my friend's social progress why do you look more normal now is the main is the because when zipper pulled up the shot i was like maybe it's just because i'm looking at you this way but then zipper pulled up the shot and i was like wait have you always i had a thought i was like have you always been like this we're looking at ourselves bro i look more i isn't gonna sound so fucked up i look more like my sister okay that's fun i think she's got a bit of a wider nose than me but i have all the other features to match i look like a fucking jag off hey fuck off fuck you too and this is the end of the episode this is the end of the fucking episode i got you i got your bonus episode right here i got i got your halloween right here this episode was brought to you by red bull att and my fucking balls fucking nuts my balls hey trick or tree right here i got you see you next time i'm gonna be like this forever dude you look normal now do i look normal no i don't the hair the only i'm not even getting the only thing that is not normal about you is the hair do the gap tooth that that is what always regrounds me oh my god wait can you roll oh thank god dude i know what i don't like it i actually don't like it why not i think you look a lot better than i do if i took anthony and i and i like up your up your ogre stat a little bit you look like singed can you pull up a picture of singed dude you dead ass look like singed uh-oh i'm proxying in the top lane oh no don't chase me i have seven million mastery points chase me i'll fart on you look do you really think that fucking yes you look like singed bro yes that's you dude that'd be a cool halloween costume for you bloke don't think of bald costumes for me bitch it's hitman or it's god of war those are my options i'm not gonna be what's wrong with you could get a fog machine that does green stuff and then you could actually just fart a little bit yeah you would fart you're the farting guy okay i hate how this is a good idea end the podcast now