Ep 274: Gary Vaynerchuk (Gary Vee) - Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

[music playing] Ooh. Alright, let's try to get on the camera. Trying to wake up here. Yeah. How you doing, man? Good, good. Had a made a mistake. I had a 5 a.m. flight out of Tulsa. Did your canes borrow them? No, I did the new comedy club. Oh, shit. It's like a bar club like Spokane. And there was the same people. Same people, yeah. Tulsa's cool, man. Tulsa's cool. They called it Austin in Oklahoma. Yeah. A lot of bars. I know what a competition in Oklahoma. No, no. That's true. Oklahoma City's pretty cool. Oh, yeah. I have a good time there. My opening line was, I have never been here. I've been OKC. I bought them there, not as much as Alaska. And they would go, boo. I think my opener in OKC was, you guys weren't part of the Confederacy. But you would have been. Yeah. They weren't? No, they went around a little thing. Oh, yeah. They put a very native American-y state. Yeah, Oklahoma. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And Black Wall Street. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So, didn't mean to bring it down. Tulsa? Tulsa, yeah. So Tulsa, you know, you just want to, this is like not a lot of direct flight. So I got the first one out out of NAMM. And so then you do three shows Saturday. You don't get the bed, they'll two. You got to wake up and four. You got to stop that three shows Saturday. Shit. You're getting old for that. All right. I'm getting old. Well, I should take my own advice. Yeah. But you should stop. Well, that's why I'm all stuffed up. Because then you land in New York. And you're like, it's 11 a.m. What am I doing out here too early? I showed up. My wife was like, huh? What are you doing here? She just hands me the baby. Tulsa, home you give your baby COVID. I get the third show though, baby. Yeah. Third show. I show her the check. She doesn't care. And then, uh, yeah. Then you're just on with the baby all day. Then it was, I missed Valentine's Day. So I did a big Valentine's dinner with drinks. Where'd we go? We went to Cafe Zaffery. Which is a nice little, uh, spot. If you want to take a date out. Yeah. She, yeah. She dressed to the nut. Look at this place. It's gorgeous right by Union Square. Ooh. Look at that. That is fancy. It's right in the heart of Manhattan. Ooh. Can I, can I run a joke by you? Sure. Speaking of a date I went on. Went on a date with a 25-year-old. We go back to my apartment. She's going through it. You know, I got a lot of DVDs. She goes, "I've never seen the Godfather." And I was like, "You got to see the Godfather." And I was like, "Wait, is this grooming?" That could be something, right? That could be something, right? That could be. Cut me off guard completely. Fucking Duval, dude. Alright, Pete. Alright, Pete, Robert Duval. Yeah, I guess this is a, this is, this might be coming out later. We, we, we get the backlog. Some of these because of our schedules. But man, Robert Duval, fucking legend. One of the, yeah, I'd say top five actor, American actor. He's up there, for sure. Yeah. And like the range. Oh, yeah. That's a lot of work. Network. He's not in touch. He's not in touch. He's not in touch. He's not in touch. I mean, that's like, that could have been made like yesterday. And he would have been like, "How the fuck?" He is such a fall down drunk that he just slips in his apartment hits his head on the side of a table and bleeds out. Wow. Like 61 or something or 62, not that old. Wow. And then Peter Finch who's in this movie as well dies. He was the first actor to win an award posthumously. So the pre-heath ledger. Wow. Look at that. Yeah. I'm going to have this hell and I'm going to take it. I'm not going to take it anymore. Look at that guy with the gun and everything. Because he's never done a curl in his life. No, no. You like this shit? So much he signed it. That's not what I mean. Oh, God. Look at that. I mean, it looks like a trans woman. Fucking Duval, man. Yeah. So Duval, you know, apocalypse now, Nate Palm in the morning. Oh shit. Yeah. But there's a scene in the Godfather I was going down a deep dive where they're all at dinner and they all get up at some point during the dinner. And then it hit me. They're all leaving in the order they die. Oh, no. Yeah. So it's a fun, fun little Easter egg or whatever you want to call it. Damn. Yeah. Little nuggets like that. But Puccino's just hanging on at that table. Yeah. Exactly. Well, what was the courtroom movie he was in? The judge? Was it the judge? Was that it? That was one with Downey Jr. Oh, yeah. That was later. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking of Paul Newman and the verdict. The verdict. That's the verdict. Yeah. The verdict. Yeah. Yeah, look at that. Fucking great movie. Paul Newman's best performance, my opinion. There you go. Big fan. But yeah, man, we had fun of that next game the other night. Oh, that was a good time. We're at the game. Josh Hart, Dapsub, Chrissy D, Dapsub Me. Then he turns around. Then he turns back around and he goes, oh shit. Mark, I see you. And then he dapsub, Mark too. I'll take it. I see you. Wow. That's big. It was a cool moment. It was pretty. And then, as Tyler Colick nicks a point guard jogging by. Just pointed at Norman. Nice, nice moment. It was a weird point, but I'll take it. Yeah. It was like a. Like you piece of shit. Yeah. You fucked my wife. Yeah. You a Jonas brother. I'm not sure if you told the story about you going to go see. You went to MSG to go see. Somebody. Shane. Oh, Shane. Oh, Shane. Oh, I didn't tell you this. You meant, oh, you did tell me this the other day. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny as hell though. He got me, I asked Shane to get me backstage. I wanted to hang out. And he's like, I got you, man. He got me tickets, like hard seat tickets. So I showed up. And they're like, here you go, sir, with an envelope. And I was like, thank you. And I walk in. The guy's like, whoa, where are you going? You're down here. And I was like, what the hell? Some Texan Shane. He's busy. So I'm like, fuck, I'm just making a run for the backstage. So I make a run for it. And like, five guys are stopping me. You know, the security. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm a comedian. I like everybody's a comedian. Yeah. I'm like, I'm a comedian. I'm like, everybody's a comedian. Shout up. And then one guy goes, are you Sam Morrill? And I go, yeah. And he goes, get back there. So I got in. Thanks. That's the only place I'll give you a boost. Yeah. Is this next territory? Yeah. Yeah. That synagogue, maybe. Yeah. So I got in. Thank God. Damn it, dude. Yeah. You feel like a, like a plea. I'm like, no, no. I swear. I've performed here. And they're like, shout out. Everybody says that. Yeah. So you got me in. The show was awesome. Show was awesome. I mean, it's like soda and David Tell and Salmokano and all these. Oz, the mentalist was there. That hot lady, the gymnast from LSU, Livy Dunn. Oh, shit. Woo! She was there with her boyfriend who looks just like Shane. And Paul Skins. Yes. The baseball player. He's a stud, man. Yeah. He's like a hotter Shane. Which is strange. But they were all back there. It was just a great time. I'm just doing the garden is had to get my high five. Yeah. I should have fucking pulled up. I think it was on the road. Oh, yeah. I should have wish I went to that. Look at that. Hachi Machi. Yeah. I was just tiny. Or is he just huge? Both. Yeah. That makes sense. But gymnasts, they're always tiny. Oh, yeah. You don't need a big gymnast. Yeah. That's true. That's true. That's a sumo, I guess. But, yeah. So Tulsa was great. But now I'm all, I'm all flemmy. I was in Stanford Connecticut all weekend. Just running the hour at the club. Yeah. Great club, by the way. The New York comedy club. That's awesome. So one of my favorite basketball analysts comes out. Zach Lowe. With the low post. The best basketball podcast. He's great. They did it. This is a peeve. It's a real comedy specific peeve. They sit him right up front. Oh, that's like. That's a great peeve. I hate that shit. Luckily they were laughing. I was like, here's a real tester. Because I have a WMBA joke. Let's see if he laughs. Yeah, that's something I already got the laugh on that one. Oh, nice. But it isn't knowing that you're like, did he like that one? All right. What am I doing with him? I know. And he's an analyst. So he's literally analyzing you. Morale had it off nice even though. I've seen him play better. Yeah, I've probably injured. That's a great little club, man. Great club. David Anthony DeVito shout out. His new shit is killer. Did he do the bit about Gen Z and social media and getting called out? He got, he went viral. He's like, I went viral in the bad way. Yeah, everybody said I look like Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, that's a great one. That's a great bit. He's like 10 minutes long. Yeah, he's got so much good shit. He's got all this stuff, but his dad being in the mob. He's on an old episode. He talks all about it. Yeah. He's an amazing old ep if you haven't heard it. But a old ep old studio. Great comic. But I want to say with Robert DeVito, Norman Donald. Here's my wreck. He did an interview with Robert DeVito. So those two together is like crazy. And he opens up. He's like, I just want to say you're probably the top five actors in America. And he gets some good some good moments out of the wall fuck great interview. Yeah, I've never seen the apostle I heard that's an amazing movie. He didn't even win Academy award for that. He was nominated Directed it too amazing crazy run of so many but that movie the outfit I said early that bear told me to watch it's like an old throwback bad ass kind of I love it I'm that's right at my anal but also Jesse Jackson died all right, be sure I met him once. What? Wow front row at your show not fun row. Yeah, did not laugh But you know, I just saw him and like it was that's a fucking Nick's game like many years He was just we both like locked eyes and it was that weird moment I was like I just didn't know what to do. Yeah, yeah, you just see him. You're like it's fucking Jesse Jackson Give one of these. I'm with you. I was like yo, yo brother. Yeah Just came over to me and just walked over it's probably just used to getting recognized We just walked over and shook my hand. Whoa, cool moment. Could he use that photo during BLM By the way, Jesse Jackson was standing this MLK when he was murdered That's a piece of history right there. How about that? He's man Way to bring the podcast Damn yeah, he's seen some shit. Yeah, that's crazy. Uh, yeah, so good good to be back I got a million p's we got it. We got a fun guest, but yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Yeah a lot of people dying Everyone's dying. Yeah, we're already now. I mean Vanderbite. You know, it's crazy. We watch varsity blues Paul Walker and James Vanderbick That's what I said the fact I still live. Oh, yeah, we did talk about it. We talked about it at lunch at the diner Oh, okay, is the fact guy like that? All right, all right good because he was still alive Well, just the world would be off kilter No, but it's like some predictable buddy. Yeah, that's true. Just mean stovs gonna outlive us Probably will he probably will yeah, all right long dead out here. Okay. He's dead. Yeah, I got really Bob. Oh fuck. What did he die? He's fine. Oh, wow, so he beat Paul Walker Is it right you win if you die. Well, you know what I mean. He outlive Paul Walker. Oh, okay. No Let's walk Ron Lester. All right Well, I still got the fat cheek wait, so is he or not dead. He's now dead. Yeah, but he got thin and then died Yeah, that's fucking unfair. Mm-hmm. Do we know why how how I'll do is wiki here. Let's get the Rexia Yeah Hospitalized issues due to his liver and kidneys interesting could be drastic weight loss. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, damn that sucks How about that all right? Well, I'm varsity blues John Void still kicking damn who would have bet on him. Yeah, I'll live everybody. I know the evil coach one Angelina movie dude. I dug that movie great movie. Love that movie. I love a good sports a good sport Young like young hungry kids fucking bad ass. Yeah, when they were at that house party. They steal the cop car Yeah, it's so fun. It's got come holy shit He's a handsome guy that's got come I guess that was hot too. Oh, yeah, it's got con. Oh Ocean's 11. Yeah, and Casey Affleck. Mm-hmm It's all it's all nepotism, baby. I know it really is even like with you hear Sofia Coppola Obviously his Coppola's daughter. Yeah, but then Nicholas Cage is Coppola's cousin or nephew. Yeah, great Coppola. Yeah, changes the cage that we wouldn't notice. Yeah, we got you dude. Uh, I Speaking of Sofia Coppola, we watched loss and translation fucking great great movie. I first time I've seen it as a comic the first time I saw it Was when it came out so you know, what's that 2010? No, it's gonna be like Yeah, yeah, so dude, uh That hits different as a comic that like isolation just living in a hotel totally totally shit I've definitely over spilt the strangers and vice versa because you're just like I can tell them anything. Yeah Yeah, so true tweet about it. You're like fuck. I shouldn't have said that I shouldn't have said that what's the age of consent? I shouldn't have said that I Different every state. Why is well asked? Every state. No, it's okay here. Okay to me. Well, what is Mississippi? Like I think it's 14 Wow. Oh, I'm pretty sure Chalukus is hoping it's 14 Good place to go to college. Jesus. I'm just saying because if you bang a 17 year old, it's like a cougar 16 That's fucking sick. That is a child dude. That is very young. That is fucking insane. I think it went up I think it used to be lower, but yeah, they're getting pretty progressive over there You know what I would one guy at the town hall meeting like we have to keep it Yeah, there's always that guy. I will say if I was Bill Gates or Bill Clinton I would try to change Epstein's islands agent consent. Oh because you have you have pull in the government I'm guessing the agent consent was still fucking. I don't think it was that is it is an American land. No, no It's okay. It was just on vacation there and like near there, and he was like I'm three and a half miles away from it I'm like that's weird. Oh, I've seen it. How do you pitch that shit to your fucking wife? We got a great deal I went on a booze cruise. I went I went to St. John with the wife on a little romantic vacay We did a booze cruise and I like that's Epstein's island and I was like oh, wow. We were like right in front of it Beautiful island. Yeah, I'm sure as a bunch of girls waving us in I was like, ah, we're good Come on honey for the story To tag your point. I think the problem with Epstein was location. Yes, he set that island up in Mississippi. He's in the clear Well, they must have been younger than 16 with Epstein, right probably probably yes, probably I didn't read the files But yeah, it seems bad seems bad. Yeah. Yeah, too long they're very long The files someone's doing the work for us and they're like look at this shit. We're like, ah, what the fuck? Yeah, right? Exactly, that's exactly what happens, but that's I mean, I don't get the redacting. Why are we redacting like aren't they criminals? I get exactly the women. Redact the victims. Why are we redacting the fucking people? Yeah, because the government's fucking protecting them I guess so Hey, I guess to see your Gary V everybody Yeah It's like an orgy one his podcast, too. Look at this shit. Are we literally on? Yeah, I don't understand the disrespect of having a Bill's fan greet me Oh, I'm very upset about it. Oh, your jets nut. I'm a die heart. I'm a giant so I kind of pull for them, right? You don't even care. Yeah, you don't even care. I was rooting for them in the playoffs. I'm sure well You beat them in one of the most important super balls of all time. Yeah, you're I you're a die-hard jets guy. Crazy that I feel bad for you Dude, hey, what's up? Say hi. Hey, I was weird. I hope you caught that. I just thought it's a tough life You know we got lying cameras here. You need to bring one But we our guest is Gary V. Oh, sorry. We didn't even we didn't even intro yet. Um, I Like the losing I like the process I'm serious. I like it. I know it feels character. Yeah, I grew up a huge Yankee fan and a huge rangers fan Yeah, and you get a taste and after they won like it was I stopped caring. Yeah, yeah Don't you think we should give them to Jersey just give the jets to Jersey because we got the giants You know he doesn't want that. He's a fan. I'm a Jersey boy, so yeah, I'll be thrilled with the jets and the stadiums in Jersey anyway The giants and jets are New Jersey football teams. They are. Oh, there you go. They play M practice That's what I'm saying. The only technically New York team is the bills, but like we all know this I mean everybody at home. We all know this Buffalo is dramatically more Canada It is New York this is I don't know we had an immigrant run in our podcast Please say sorry. I think I know this though, right? Like I never thought I love wouldn't the Buffalo fans are like We're the New York and like the world views New York as not New York state. They viewed as New York City With and I love my Canadian brothers and sisters sure and I actually you know what I hate the bills But like I love the people of Buffalo like it's a pretty great sound. That's just real talk. Yeah But like with all due respect to my Buffalo brothers and sisters, you're dramatically more Canada than you are New York But by that logic the chargers are Mexico. Yes, I come into that. Oh, okay. I'm trying to change the whole team I mean forever shorter players cock fight during halftime. I'll take a cock fight That's the way they should do it. Yeah, bad bunny did miss out on the cock fighting was all supposed to be Puerto Rican culture. By the way, the bad bunny Content that's being made that translates to what he said on social right now is dominating I love to like kind of just follow what is happening in pop culture Sure, just the people that were like he's such an amazing performer But I think it's funny that now a lot of people realize what the words translate to oh, let's hear it I don't know any of them basically like I like stuff, right? Well, it's not even like it's actually very mellow But it's like I have so many girlfriends. I have so many girlfriends I told my auntie that I have a lot of girlfriends. What do I do with all these girlfriends? It's pretty basic Yeah, and it's been funny to watch people get into it. I love like my mom is super liberal So she has to be like I love bad bunny. He's so great I'm like you don't know one fucking song. I think he's saying livin la Vita loka shut up. Yeah, we've definitely gotten sports oriented in politics Like blind like the Jets can't get it. I like I loved it when it was life was just sports that Yeah, I love sports where like no matter what there it is Tell me tell me do what you wanted to do. Thank you watch parasite dubbed right people. This is too good. Keep going I was the fourth of July. That's true. My people in the Bronx, no, what's up? Feeling high through Washington Heights. That was better. Actually, but this is incredible By the way, by the way, this is all of our Elections. But by the way, this is all of our future. What's up? No, no, no, we have time to do what you guys are going to enjoy your Content in you speaking Mandarin more than English. Great more fans. Yeah, you guys are about to explode. You know this, right? No, I see a huge future for you guys. This is his thing. He's really positive. No, no, I am positive. I love it But I actually believe in him and he kind of looks like if we fuck each other Which is a huge compliment because I find you guys very attractive Real talk. This is the future for all content creators like we're going into a wild era in the next 24 36 months A lot of you know I'm calling it the Hasselhoff AI rule In Germany, yeah, when we write you guys are probably gonna explode in South Korea is my personal guess my dick is huge in Korea Huge yeah, but we need to explode. I think we're really gonna explode in North Korea If his dick's huge in South Korea, it's gonna explode in South Korea too So like I think that we a lot of us that produce content are gonna find ourselves building fan bases in places We never could have imagined yes because all of our content will be will be done in AI in a manner Where it's not subtitles? It's not bad dub like we see on Netflix. It will be perfectly you're right I matched and right now In fact in the meta, but all right now we are talking Portuguese and Korean Oh, yeah, and Russian and I don't know like back to the way you guys look like Eastern European like like I think you could explode in Poland I think is a good one for you guys. Well, he's a Russian descent. Yeah, I know I'm going to Poland. I think in September. I'm never been I'm really pumped to go for like family reasons Just for gigs. I mean we already tour that part of the world But I mean, have you gone anywhere? We were like oh, I did not know people like me this much in this part of the world The first one was I did a speech in Kuwait like a thousand thousand years ago like like 2007 Wow, that was Plenty small in America let alone thinking that someone would know me in Kuwait But for some reason one of my YouTube videos went viral in Kuwait and I spoke there I also curse like a true stand-up comic on stage as a business talker So like everyone scared me before I went there like you're gonna fucking curse and Kuwait and then I put you in jail for 40 years There's all this propaganda, but that was the first time I was like wow Like you know, I always believed in what the saddest reason to go to prison is just like you've got a fucking believe in yourself, man Like sorry, you're going away forever fucking OGs in your guys game back in the day that happened in America let alone yeah Lenny Bruce, right? Oh, yeah, the real cancel like you know real time. Yeah, really like it's crazy The evolution now this is a new stand-up is pretty new. That's the thing. It's you know comedies around forever But stand-up the way we know it is new and American Pretty American. I may you know invented here. I mean like I did use most things like like was real talk like America's pretty Unparalleled and unprecedented in the things that events. We got a couple things. Yeah, I've invented everything the car the TV flight Internet it's a pretty big the jazz stand-up the nuke country nuke basketball football Yeah, it's like love basketball. I mean what else do you want from us? That's why I made you the next you're a big nix fan too Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was I never think about what to wear. I'm like you know what I'm gonna seem today Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fucking bring it. There's no reason not to bring positive vibes Which is exactly what I think this handsome gentleman did to me in reverse Bill's thing You just shamed him and taken it off. He's representing actually, you know what this was the first year I felt all four Super Bowl losses for the bills didn't feel bad They were my four high school years. It was devastating being a jet set for you know high school is primed fandom If you're a meeting sure like it's the prime of the prime You're old enough to know you've got enough downtime and you're a lunatic to like be all in the bills went to fucking All four super roles of my high school years Never felt bad that they lost This was their window this year. Look if you're a bill span. This was the one like Josh Allen. Yeah, I hate him as the football player But in real life real talk. He's a great dude. I love watching him He's one of my he's probably my favorite to watch. Oh really. What do you think Aaron Rogers that whole thing? I'm still devastated about that that that talk about Jets fandom like that team one seven games without Aaron Coming off in a kill. He's at his age Yeah, then following season the second half of that season the Jets put up fucking points They fired Salah their defense fell apart because they were brilliant enough to make their defense a coordinator The head coach, which is not what you do in a football team Yeah, he's take like the running backs for linebackers coach because you have continuity but this moment Is like sums up the last 15 years watching my 12 year old at the time or 11 year old son cry When when he sat right back down right because he got up and he sits down and when he sits down I just basically blurred out because I'm completely psycho I'm like he's fucking out for the year and start like losing my mind. Yeah, and then I turn to the left I mean this is by the way, this is where Jets. I just want everybody to understand jet bands You're watching right now one of the seven best moments in Jets history. Wow Yep, this a man carrying a flag. Yeah, that's it. That's top seven because you like I believe Right hope and and and what like and in five minutes later after this he literally stands up sits down and it's over and It was the first play wasn't there a third fourth play third play third play third or fourth play I think the first play was the first down and the second series dam former bill or you know, you know like it just like like what I Yeah, here. Damn. Well, we started so in merch. 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So you're not alone googling how to refund It's time to turn those what ifs into Charging with Shopify today sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/drunk go to Shopify.com Slash drunk that Shopify.com/drunk Charging Raycon this message is sponsored by Raycon with spring on the way at the perfect time to refresh your routine and spend more time outside Whether you're going on daily walks running errands or soaking up the fresh air. 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So you just get clear sound and still hear the world great for walking around the city without becoming a news story They're lightweight the ear hook rotates they actually stay in I've been using these pretty much every day since I got them gym errands around the house Running they're the ones I reach for because I can hear what's going on without sacrificing Sound quality Raycon has great sound half the price of the big brands and a 30-day guarantee the essential open earbuds are perfect for refreshing your routine this spring Go to buy air both go to buy Raycon dot com slash we might be drunk open Okay, hold on go to buy Raycon dot com slash might be drunk open to get 20% off. Thanks Raycon for sponsoring the show Protection breaks down and time runs out down goes Rogers and the sack for Leonard Floyd And now popping After spending three years with the Rams he the former first round pick of the Bears and now Rogers. There it is Really oh Yeah, you know in a miracle win the Antonio Gibson as a rookie at the time ran back or kick off in overtime But we really lost you might have lost the battle but we lost the war and in reality like Yeah, I mean, what do I think? I think that Jets team makes the playoffs. Things are very, very different. I believe that 'cause they-- - You win one with him. It's just like, it changes the whole culture. - I mean, two years later, he's good enough to make a Steelers team get to the playoffs. - But do you feel like the Jets are kind of cursed? - I don't really believe in that shit. I don't think like name it's like fuck to the devil, the night before the fucking Super Bowl and like one, and like-- - He fucked somebody that he fucked to. - He fucked to someone for sure. - Zero interceptions this whole season. - That's remarkable. - Zero interceptions. - Do you get it on that? - No, no, the Jets are the first team in NFL history. We just did it. We did not have an interception all season. - Oh wow. - Oh, you didn't have an interception all season? - We did not create. We undefensed, did not have an interception. I mean, all season. - Yeah, that's what I mean. - That's crazy. - Damn. - That's bad. - That's bottom of the barrel stuff. - We are definitely like, like, what's crazy is, what's crazy is in the late 90s, we won in 15 and 97. Like, the Jets were definitely like boo, like, and then really when Parcells came from 98, where we went to the AFC, 96, we were one in 15. Parcells' first year was 97, 98. We go to the AFC championship game. We go to two more championship games with Sanchez and Rex. You know, from 98 to 2011, in that 13 year window, we make the playoffs six, seven times. We go to two AFC championship games. We win plenty of playoff games. - The Sanchez sold a soul or something to get to that AFC championship. - Because he just beat the shit out of some dude, right? - Yeah, he got a good. I love Parcells. - He mostly made, that's like a version of Damienkies or something where he like, sold his soul and then he's like, all right, but I got to beat the shit out of an old man now. - Right now though, the last 15 years, we've not made the playoffs in 15 years. It's the longest drought in North American sports. There's no team in hockey, baseball, football, basketball, that has not made the playoffs longer than the Jets. - Worst Jets than Lelidic's press. (laughing) - So yeah, it's been rough, boys. - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Right or news, what about you guys? Like, from afar, if I may just give some flowers, it's been enjoyable to watch the growth over the last two, three years, it's been very obvious that this is bad. - Well, we can't take compliments, it's a weird death. But hey, it's good to have you. At least your son is into the team. Wouldn't that be more of a bummer if your kid hated the Jets? - Yes, I'd be dead. - Well, by the way, real quick, the truth is he'd be like, there was no option. - Right, right. - You can do anything in my family. You can't be a fan of the team that's not the Jets. - Bills. - Yeah, that would be like-- - That would break my heart. - I went to college. My brother's 11 years younger than me. Best friend of my life started a lot of business with my brother. He actually runs a sports agency. He runs a painter's sports, our sports agency. You know, we've saw a scar in her cousins, Miller and basketball, it's been a big firm. He's 11 years younger. I went to college. I was 18, obviously. I come home for that first Thanksgiving. I walk in, and he has a Barry Sanders jersey. - Oh, boy. - It is closet that my mom bought. I didn't even talk to him. I looked at him, hug, kiss, miss you. Let's play video games after dinner. So happy to be back, see it in the corner. No talk, just grab it, get out of the closet, bring it into my room, pull out the scissors for my desk, and literally cut it up. - Whoa! What's my life? - And what is it? - He was fine, he thought, I don't know, he was seven. - Oh, he was seven? - My mom was pissed. I was born in the Soviet Union. You don't throw out 13 cents of food. - Right. - Let alone cut up a $30 shirt. - Sure. - She shit her pants, she was pissed. - Damn! - And it was the first time this is like that college provotto. It was actually the first time I ever went back at my mom in my life. I didn't even think about disrespecting my mom. - You cut a burclose too. - I was like, yeah, I was like-- - Showed her who's boss. - I was like, mom, I was like, not this. - Wow. - Wow. - Yeah, mom. - 'Cause you thought it was like character building to do that. - I only understand why people hate each other in real life, race, gender, religion, only understand it. I think it is the craziest fucking shit. I'm so pissed at all of us right now. The fuck's a matter with you, fuck faces hating people for no reason other than different, but I do understand. - Yeah. - That gentleman, it was weird what my chemicals did when I saw the bills code. It was weird, I'm telling you, I brought him down nine times in the first two minutes. I can-- - Better than if we had like a black producer and he's like, I don't know what happened to me dude. - Yeah. - I went fuck, I saw red. He had a fubus sweater, I cut it up. - I literally do, I literally can understand tribalism in human race only through the lens of sports. - Well, it's better through sports. I mean, that's a good way to channel it. - That's, that's real. - 'Cause there's not real. It's okay. - Yeah. - That's like, it's fun. - It's fair that. - When we're at the garden and we're gonna be psychos this summer. - Yeah, yeah. - And when the fucking Pacer-- Well, not this year 'cause of the performer. - When we were at the Pacer's game and they fucking beat us again. - In overtime. - I know, I saw you guys, I know. - That pissed me off. - Yeah. - I hate fucking Indiana. - They-- - What a shit hole Indiana is. Minds me a buffalo. - It's where the clan started. - That's true. - I believe so. - Is that true? - I might imagine that. - That's a good fun thing. - It's a good fun thing to go. - It's also where a whiskey is distilled, so don't stress it. - Well, that's what I respect. - I actually love the University of Indiana, so I better not shit out. - Oh, dude, you have Bloomington's great. - Great. - I have a love for Indiana. - I just hate the Pacers, by the way. - No, it's the Pacers. I really hate the Pacers. - Yeah, I thought, really. - It made no sense to me that it wasn't in the South. - On Christmas Eve. - Congrats. (laughing) - There's some crazy KKK ties to Indiana. - By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, this is remarkable. The fact that the KKK was founded on Christmas Eve is not talked enough about. - That's hilarious. - That's the Jewish of them. They should be celebrating Christmas. (laughing) - Wow. - Yeah, the next day they had Chinese food. - Yeah, it's pretty good. (laughing) - Well, that's pretty good. - Okay, the powerful force, based in the Indianapolis. - I see. - There you go. - Marcus Racism. - Thank you, thank you. My dad's a dragon. - Grant Wizards. - Sorry. - So yeah, I got a question for you. - Please. - So you're a big hustle grind guy. You're good at internet promoting, getting the word out. - I guess. - I got a Netflix special coming out in one month. What is your advice or give me a pitch to really get this puppy out in the world 'cause they make us promote it. These quifes sit on their ass. They got all the money in the world, but they make us do all the heavy lifting. - Quife. - Yeah. - The word that most made me laugh in junior high. I'm excited that you try to bring it back. - Ted Cerandos just pulled the special. (laughing) - Quife, who the fuck? - Do you have the rights to all the raw footage or does Netflix quit? - Not all of it. - Not all of it, right? - I have a lot of it. - No, when I say the rights, here's what I mean. And I'm empathetic because I do this for a living. Netflix would be hesitant because they have this theory that if you put out too much, people won't tune in. - Oh, is that right? - But I will tell you that the way to win on this game is to take all the footage from the show, chop it up into as many pieces of content, post it organically. - Or what do you mean organically? - That means you're just posting it on social without putting paid media behind it. - Oh, okay, okay. - That's an industry marketing term organically. Normals are just like post it. Post it, and if something hits, which it will, 'cause you're talented, you definitely have at least one good fucking moment. - Oh yeah, that's a couple. - What do you think? 17? - Well, it's an hour long, so I hope-- - Oh, so you, 17? 31 good moments. - All right, I'll do it. - All right, easy. - So in those 31 moments, you clip them up, you post them organic, which everyone organically gets a million views, 500,000 off your baseline of 40,000, 100,000, I don't know your social enough to know what your baseline is, but anything that overindexes, I, if I'm you, I'm running thousands of dollars in ads against certain demos. You know the content of your special. So again, if you talk a lot of football stuff, you go in football fan, there's a way for you to use ads. It's a couple bucks out of your pocket. But the upside's so worth it, because you know this, if you hit those ads hard for the three, four days before it hits, and you really have that opening, and the algorithm gets you to, you know, you get more tune in, which takes you instead of number seven, 'cause you're gonna fucking be in top 10 regardless. - Hopefully. - I think we're at that point in your career. - I believe it. - You'll be in there, but being seven versus one, and being seven on top 10 Netflix for a half a day, and then 11, and being off the grid, versus being one for 48 hours, changes everything for you. - Okay. - So Gary, if I gave you my phone right now. - I would take it. - And said, can you make a video for Mark? - Yes. - Lead him with a hook. Get him to say something to camera. - Yes. - Oh, jeez, a lot of pressure. But he's upward. Anyone can do it, it's him. - So here, make a video, use anything in the room, his face. - Yep. - Make camera. - Well, I'm gonna use my face, 'cause I'll get more views. (laughing) - Mark, why should people fucking watch this special? - Hey, it's a good special. A lot of jokes, very funny. - Okay. - Well, that's not enough, bro. - Oh, it's gonna be world changing. - I'll name all the Epstein people. - My name. - All the names, I'm the guy who does the black marker. So I can tell you who's on him. - Tune in Netflix now, it's basically a lot of that kind of stuff. - Oh god, I'm so bad at that. - But then again, it's that mixed in with when he made the Epstein joke, you put in a clip from the special, and there's a little post-production. Very easy shit, even in CapCut, fucking Adobe. Like, you can do it, and here's the key of marketing in 2026. It's all social organic, it's multiple accounts. Let me give you a real, I'm going very nerdy. - X, Instagram, TikTok. - But I wanna give you one that's gonna really work for you. - Okay. - If I'm you guys, you create a TikTok handle that doesn't exist yet. - Oh! - At Mark's. - Epstein's innocent. (laughing) - What's the name of the special? - Nuntu, please. - At Nuntu, please. - Yeah. - At Mark's Netflix special. Two new accounts, and you're fucking posting organically there like crazy - He got it. - Oh wow. - And again, here's the king, here's the king. - When it does well. - He's cooking. - And I didn't get here with my fucking looks, even though I didn't do that. - I'm gonna look like you in a year. - When it gets a lot of organic views, that needs to be discussed. Do you put paid media behind it? Do you clip it and put it somewhere else? Like the insights from knowing what hit. In fact, if I was a standup comic, which I secretly, why I wanna hang out with these guys, I secretly, if you look at my business keynotes, I have that cadence, but I don't have this skill. But if I was cooking on my special, or like when I was really working, when I go in the lab, I know some of my most successful standup comic friends, they like really go off the grid. I don't know your guys' process. I would be putting out shit, not the whole thing, but using social AI relevance algorithms to my advantage to tighten up the shit. No matter how smart my fucking comic friends are, and they could sit there no matter how hard I try and play it in smaller clubs before I get to the prime time, AI algorithms and social are better than fucking Conan's subjective opinion, or your seven shows in Calgary Buffalo, Indiana, to kind of see where not a lot of people are to get a feel for it. It's going to outpace it, so the combination of the new, and I look at it like a barbell. I like the analog. I like going to the club and trying it out, right? I like that. - Sure. - But I also like weaponizing this new digital world and putting out little pieces-- - You both. - Because I think it's even more upstream. I think social can actually impact the set to be even better. - But don't you want to explain? - Okay. - You're working on something? You're working on your next thing. - Yeah, taping next week. - Is that true? - Yeah, yeah. Tampa, you know the theater. - Okay, first of all, congrats. Fuck man, if I'm just May, I'm just gonna do it for the whole genre. I'm 50, like HBO stand up, like Android Ice Clay. And by the way, like my buddy's all made fun of me in college 'cause everybody came with CDs of music. I came with Sandler, jerky boys, Richard Pryor. Like, stand up for me is to watch what's happened. - Those Sandler albums were like innovative, man. - Yeah, shit. - What about the jerky boys? - Oh, yeah. - You know what I mean? - Oh, I look too drunk. - How old are you? - I'm 39. - Yeah, I think you're just maybe just a hair, like a decade above. I prank called people in eighth grade, just because I'm like, I want to be like them. I would just fuck it, it was the best. It was the best. And then to me, Richard Pryor, I know he gets, thank God, he gets the flowers, he gets. I think he's even better than people, like truly actually. - Oh, yeah, maybe the best of all time. - His peak is insane. I mean, like live in concert and since it's stripper, like fucking, it's just so different. - I feel like everyone's a weird derivative of him in some shape of, it's either that top of the tree. And obviously, others, Carlin and Bruce. But nonetheless, here's how. If this was not a week from now, your shit's tight. You pretty much know what you're doing. - Yeah, but yeah, but after that will be, I'll be a cripple for quite some time. - Respect, yeah. - But I would say this, the next one. - Yeah. - When you're like in the earliest stages, just thinking of shit, I think when you like, here's what I would do, I would try a lot of shit in on stages and small places, film it. And then really see if you can put little mini clips out and see, you're gonna get a different response from 38 people, 57 people in Cincinnati, then you might get from coast, you know, I don't know if they're explaining what I'm saying to you. Use the algorithms to your advantage. Let me explain something to everybody that might be valuable for anyone who's listening. Small business owner, somebody's trying to pop off. The algorithms expose you, they don't change you. Everybody's algorithm is a complete direct correlation to what they're engaging with and searching and looking at. - Yeah, but you don't wanna curate to the algorithm, 'cause that's gonna change your voice. - Correct, correct, it's actually the opposite. You're exactly right. - Okay. - You wanna only do your shit, post that scale. - Wow, okay. - Follow me, I know man, I know man. - I know man, I know man. - Post not, I'll tell you why, when you're even writing, or like, again, I don't know your process, but as you're putting together your next special, like literally right after Tampa. You're, you know, it's gonna be another year, six months, I don't know your cadence, right? - Vogue. - Respect, 18 months. - Even when you're writing, even when you guys are jamming, you're fucking filming it, you guys laughed, it goes out. - Ah. - It fucking goes out. Like, the whole, I would literally film every second from day one of like, fuck 'em on the hook, yeah, that's why he's filming. - Yeah, that's what he's doing. - Literally every, like, I be-- - He's taking a shit later, he's like, "Let me get this, let me get this." - Yeah. - Because shit, I'm taking a shit gets views. (laughing) With all seriousness, no, I think if you film the whole process, put out lots of pieces, you can use it as a feedback loop, and here's the best part. - Isn't it good to have some mystery though? - Yes, it is. - 'Cause it feels like if you film everything, we're gonna become a society of everyone just walking out in the street like, and then I said, and you're just like, "What the fuck is the world?" - But you know what the best part is? And I've, you know, we've all seen that, like video and all that stuff. Yeah, but the fucking truth wins. Meaning, we're not gonna be a society of everyone filming because everyone-- - We're like the Pambondi. - Because every, well, yeah. Governments are gonna be filming everything. That's done. Robots filming, everything is done. Like surveillance state is real for our grandkids. - The ring camera. It's got everything. - It's gonna be way more than that. Like, once China puts the thumb on the scale, we're gonna have to counter. - But don't you think, like, I feel like it's changed the way, I don't like that the way to meet people through our phones. They're like, I miss eye contact. I can't get a fucking woman on the street to make eye contact now 'cause they're all on their phones. So, prior, you would just like, you really liked a good street encounter? - I think it was more organic to use your word organic. - I agree. - No, and I kind of like that. Now it's like, you wanna make eye contact? You gotta follow them in their hallway, you know? - Uh-uh, easy, baby. - Like all the way down their hall. - That's joking, but no, but now it's like, everyone's on their phone. There's no, I think everyone's on these apps now. It's, I think it's just harder to meet people now. - It's easier and harder, right? It's easier to meet than ever. There's so many people that were introverted. - That makes it harder. - By the way, there's plenty of people who are 60 right now saying, shut your fucking mouth. I wish I had swipe right at scale. I'm gonna fucking watch. - Yeah, it is. Like, there's plenty of people that would have been better for plenty of people that it's not as good for. But I would say to you, and you know this, like you're in control. You don't wanna play that game, you don't have to. Yes, or other people playing it, yes. Are there plenty of people that agree with you both on the women and men's side at scale? In fact, it's very clear that the early trends are in place. That Jen Alpha, the young crew behind Jen Z, is in full agreement with you and going much more analog. - Oh, good. - 13-14-year-old. - Until I bring a woman home, and she sees a red light in my room, and in my GaryVee told me to videotape everything. I got a videotape, I was fucking. - It's a Gary. - Remind her that some of the most famous people became famous through sex tapes. - That's true. - She might think it's a good strategy. - Chuck Berry did it. - Yeah, Chuck, camera in the toilet. - But like, that is a crazy video. - Crazy. - I know. - Oh, you guys. - Oh, what is this? - I think it was the mayor of PC. - I don't, you think it's a merry, merry, merry. - Chuck Berry. - Oh, we've built women in the bathroom on the spot. - Oh. - And there's a shitty kissing. - Guys, fuck, Chuck Berry. Though I don't know it, it might be better, but Marion Berry's is fucking it. - Does he really have a sexy? - He was a crackhead. - Smoking crack, that's it. - This shit. - This shit. - That's what I know. - This is so fucking crazy. (laughing) - You can't do that if it goes. (laughing) - I don't know. - Very special. - Oh. - That's all you need to see. Keep hitting dismiss. (laughing) - You know what, he had a scrub, Berry. - Unbelievable. - Berry Sanders, I can't believe it. - Anyway, so how is it helping? How is it really helping your material? I think it's making your material worse. I think it's helping. - Really? - Yeah, brother, I'll tell you why. You're building so much more awareness. Like, you're gonna have so much more assembly. - Oh, here we go. - What the fuck is this? - Guys, this is, you have to have said this is 1990. - He's the mayor. - He's the mayor of DC. - Whoa. - This isn't the internet era. There is no internet yet. So like real footage is like rare to begin with. - Right. - So he's filming this or she is. That cops are. - Oh. - He's literally in a hotel room. - Sneaking crap. - Whoa. - Crap, right, brother? - Yep. - It was crap. - Oh, it's definitely crack. - It says crack bust. (laughing) - No. - Oh, this is in sexual. - No, no. - Okay. - That's the way for a hooker. - He was probably thinking that might be part of the equation, maybe added value. - Who's this lady, correct? - The added value crack dealer. - I guess so. - The best part is the cops coming. - Holy shit. - I can't. - I can't. - You guys are young. Yeah. - Guys. - And you're better than me. - You have no idea how insane this was. - Oh, I remember this. - There's like nobody. - Come on, hit the pipe. - There it is. - There it is. - Whoa. - Hell yeah. - And now. - We got 'em. - Now there's trouble. - No, that's good stuff. The Canadian guy was a crackhead too. - Oh yeah. The one who looked quite smartly. - Yeah. Ford. - Toronto guy, yeah. - Wow, swarm, swarm. - Anyway, I think it's better. - Got re-elected by the way after that. - Sam, I think you can get a lot more awareness to who you are. I don't think you have to give it away. I think there's really strategic ways. Also, I'll be honest with you. I would love to watch. Yeah, this was wild. I forgot about him. - Holy shit. - He's raised crack bears. - It's like a whole genre, this is crazy. - You know what? These say comes in threes. I wonder which may or shallings. I hate that TMZ boys. If you want to see the crackhead mayor. - I want to punch that fucking boys in the face. Harvey Levin's in Epstein. He's all over the files. Yeah, fun fact. Yeah. Yeah, hold it up play that video Harvey. Is that right? Yeah, Jesus. I know everybody's in the files. Uh, including Jesus. Now, okay, he came back just to go to the island. He did have a lot of holes. He's like, this was the moment I was waiting for. He's come again. He is risen. Harvey Levin's risen. That's a shit. It appears in that some reports indicate all right. We have to say allegedly. Yeah, I'm not trying to get anybody. Yeah, you've got our legend added that. All right. What are you saying here? What I'm saying is I actually would love to see the prop process of you working on a joke along the way. He's got a show about that. Oh, yeah, we're working on that. Yeah. So to me, seeing little clips, especially once the first one hits, I like it. Now it's in my feed. I see another version. And then when the special comes to see that you tweaked it a little bit, I actually think that's super interesting. Okay, I like that. And I think a lot of people would like that. I'm not asking you to put out the whole fucking special. Right. But I think I think there's a way that yours. I guarantee in fact that you would have a better special if you did it this way because you would have a much better read. This is why all of you were brilliantly doing this for decades, doing small shows and small areas to get a feel to the prime time. This is just the fucking dramatically scaled. I love this. Oh, see that I love to nurture. No, no, no. This is fucking smart. So this would be running a joke by other comedians. This is what you guys do. That's all we do. No one ever has shows. We're too old for a nipple flip. Yeah. We got into a very big comedy the other day about dancing. I got pants in front of a woman in like seventh grade woman or a girl in front of a girl. Yeah, I was like, what are we sure was going to classmate, but he pants more important if you know the other way. Tiny dick out the whole thing of school yard. And it was like full on fist fight because I was so enraged because the humiliation. I kicked his ass. I jumped. No way, which was a big move back. I want. Yeah. I jumped kicked him in the stomach. He went down and I really pummeled him with my little dick. But yeah, that was. He used your fist or just your dick addicted and do any damage. Yeah, I will say pancing was terrified me from 92 to 90. Oh, yeah. And you remember the biggest moments. I guess I'll say it. I hope our kids like ask her about it because it's just a funny thing now. I hope 32 years later, but like Michelle Montana got pants in like our main lady, a lady, which was super 80 is inappropriate. And like year, what grade is 1994 North 100 in high school. Lafontaine Lafontaine Lafontaine. All are up. Maybe you got only fans now. It was a fun or future. She was a nice girl to its sucked. Who pants is a lady? Some jerk off probably like I'm trying to think. Bill Gates. I think she may be married now the different name. Yeah, that's probably right. Oh, she changed her name for another reason. Garrett keeps telling this story on the podcast. I got to change this. She preempted. She was smart. She's a genius. She's like, I bet you someone will tell this story in 32 years. I want to change my name. You have the loose lips. I don't have fun. You guys are damn fucking good. Yeah, Charles Watney. He was the guy. I really, I really think that the process of the jokes and the pro, the road to the stand up in social at scale as a promotion vehicle, but also as a test bed for material. Okay. I think makes both of you and you guys are very legit in your fucking game. And for you guys, I think your, your fucking special is better if you went psycho on that process. I love it. I don't think you compromise it. I think there's ways to hedge. You know what the punchline is. You don't want to compromise. I get it. But I'm telling you it would fucking work. And I'm going to tell you again your best friend comics, you know, testing it out. It's tiny compared to the algorithms. The algorithms of the fucking world. Yeah, true that. And to your point, you're not compromising the contents finding its audience, which is building micro fandom to the punchline moment. It's like book sales, right? Everybody comes to me. I've done well in book sales. How many books have you written? I've written seven, six, a few times by selling books. Is that what you do when you're impressed? Yes. So I, I tell people all the time. Like you're coming to me three weeks before the books out. You're fucked. What do you mean? The promotion. Yeah. Six months or like Bill six. Yeah, bro. Like I'm telling you. And by the way, what do you think is happening? You guys aren't lost on this. Some people are getting specials just because they're doing social well. You know, so what is that? That's years in advance. That's promoting yourself. That's it. Yeah. I think there's I'm glad that you two are deep and like what you just showed me would be one of the few things I would consume on television. Me again. I'm just talking about me as a human. One of the few things I would watch is a show like that because I think the creative person is crack head. Crack head mayors for I would on the record if you want one view put out something called crack head mayors for the search for three. I'm only on two right now. I always did you know that that was the space balls to name space. I believe this is true. It could have been myth and lore when I was a kid. When I was a kid, space balls was my favorite. I love space balls. And the rumor was space balls was going to come. I know it's coming now finally. It was going to be it was going to be called space balls three. The search for two right in space ball three. There it is. There it is. Wow. No, no for two. There it is was. Yes. Wait. Because the search. I think it's the search for money. That's a tag line. When I was a kid, they're scroll down, scroll down. I think it was there. Plot. Space balls three. The search for space ball. Yeah. There it is. Okay. There you go. We were just talking about the notebook stock. Because by the way, Judd and Michael Bonfiglio killed that man. I loved it, dude. I mean, it was a wreck on the pod previously. So I just finished it. It's unreal. I like so funny. 90% of the saddles is fucking perfect. It's amazing. Perfect. That is like that is like talking to people say like you can't do this type of human anymore. You really can't do that type of fucking well Dave spell the best line. He goes, they go, could you do blazing saddles today? He goes, you couldn't do it today. You couldn't do it then. But he could. Yeah. Which is so true. Yeah. Um, there it is. I mean, the producers is fucking genius. Producers is so ahead of its time. It's crazy. And it bombed on the theater. Just super talent until Peter Sellers writes an open letter. Like this is the best two pages. That's a lot of money. What do you guys think about AI stand-up comics taking your money? I don't even know what it means. That's what it means. Yeah. So let's explain. You guys know this is what you guys all most respect. There are writers that you guys know that are better than anyone, but they don't have the ability to do it on stage. Sure. Sure. Yes. What about 12 years from now where that writer has creates an AI person that fully looks like a person. Cause that's where this is all doing. Uh-huh. And they now are the money maker because it's actually their ability to get to the core of the craft. Not the vehicle that delivers the information that gets the economics thoughts. Yeah, but like a lot of the money's in live. So that how does that work? Are they hologram? They could. I mean, to your point. I don't think that's not happening in your career time or at least towards the tail end. What's great about comedy? You can do it forever, but this is the drinking podcast. We don't have long. Yeah. Guys look great. We don't know. We don't know. Well, I hear you on that, but as a porn consumer. Yes. If I see AI porn, I move along. You've already consumed AI porn and not realized it has no chance. I know let La Fontaine's Bush when I see it. We wiki. We wiki search all the women to make sure they were really abused. And man, man, we are within 24 to 36 months where there's no shot that the human eye will know if it's human or a really no shot. I don't know. Should it good with a with a labia with a belly button with a tip? Nope. They should be complaining about losing their jobs. This is crazy. Everybody's going to have to go through this. There was a video that went viral this week about Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise fighting. I saw that. But Epstein's Island, guys, it's got it's got for the fight was telling you this is like real shit. This is like like it's re and to me, the reason I asked the question is, I'm curious. It's interesting, right? Cause where's the real art, right? There is the creative and there's the vessel that delivers it. Yes. And I think both are real art. Of course, stage presence, cadence, like, I'm obsessed with that shit. I rely on that shit for my career. But it is going to be interesting. There will definitely be a writer who is going to stand up a AI stand up comic. They own their their their Walt Disney. That's their Mickey Mouse. It just happens to look literally like I think that's okay. Cause at least a human wrote it. I'm okay with that. But it's when the AI starts writing. I think we're getting a murky waters here. Well, it's definitely murky. But I'd rather that than AI writing jokes. We're just exposed who's more a purist of the crap. Lisa guy wrote it. Well, when they start. Well, now they don't have to perform it. Part of the part of the building the jokes is actually performing. But you also just yes, but you also just said something earlier. You said stand ups a new art. You know, you know, my favorite thing to bring me that's a shortcut to me. Part of what building the hour, the reason I've done nine hours a week leading to the special. is to cut all the fat through trial and error. So to me, eliminating that process, it's not gonna be as sharp, it's not gonna be as good. But I think that will probably show in the work. - On the consumer side, it's gonna be better. - Yeah. - This is where it's going up to. - No, no. - And quicker. - No, I do sound like a fucking supervillain right now. - No, by the way, I'm actually posing this as something that I think we all collectively need to talk about versus what I think everyone's doing, which is this. - Yeah. - Like I'm actually going the other way. I'm like, hey, can we start talking about shit? Like I don't know if you know this, but talking things out matter. By the way, one of the great reasons you fuckers really matter to the world is you have a format and a style and a structure and a thing called stand up that allows you guys to fucking talk about shit. - Yeah. - That others can't talk about because of this beautiful craft. - Can I tell the truth, you better be funny. - So. - Oscar Wilde. - That's right. So I'm doing something similar, which is like, I'm in business and culture and advanced technology. And I am weirdly not concerned because I'm super bullish and optimistic about the human race. We figure things out. - Hopefully, yeah. - But really, there's. - Where do you think you get your optimism from? - My mom's, my dear, like a circumvent nature nurture. You know, like when you're born in the Soviet Union, you come to America, like you're already grateful for fucking everything, you know, like everything's awesome. And then my mom was just fucking is, thank God. She's still with us, is a gangster of like, what I would call practical optimism. I'm optimistic, but I'm a street Jersey immigrant kid. Like I'm not delusional. I'm like, like everything's gonna be okay. Like in fact, as you probably know, 'cause I have enough content out there that you probably stumbled on it. I'm the one that's like stopping in a bitch and like everything's your fault. And like, you know, the optimism comes with accountability and truth, but there you go. And so like, you know, every time you're impressed. - Yeah, there you go. This makes me feel really good. - Yeah. - So I think that far, that's when you're really getting up. - That's got it. - You cross the line. - I know she just pants, but it goes the other way. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I just think that I got very fucking fortunate with like circumstance and parenting. Like back to fighting, like Jersey in the 80s. And you guys know this. The other thing that I've always loved about comics and why I love the genre, the people, the craft is like, being made fun of is the biggest term of love. - Sure, sure. - Like if we were in this culture when I was growing up, like I'd have every one of my core best friends spent 97% of their time trying to think of how to make fun of me. - Yeah, the guy who pants Mark really loved him. - Yeah, that's true. - Yeah, you should actually send him a letter. - Yeah, yeah. He's a, I think he's a heroine act now. - Should we look him up? I think he looked him up recently. - I don't wanna bother the guy in no-ling things. - Oh, you guys are rivalry. He's gonna come back. - You guys might have a celebrity fight. - Like you should be on the undercard of fucking Jake Paul's next fucking match. - Oh, there you go. - Here's the money. Here, pull him up. You could make like five million. - I don't wanna outthink that. - One five million? - He could be a change man. - What about five million? - Sure, I'll take that one. - All right. - Out him. - Yeah. - Yo, look who we took basketball for five seconds. - Please. - Do you think we can win this title? - I believe. I like the moves at the deadline. I like Grand Theft Elvarado. - Oh my god. - I'm fired. - A mini-josh heart from New York, what? - Puerto Rican. - Yeah, we were fired up. (laughing) - I'm saying another fact about it. - Are you guys fired up? - I'm fired up, dude. - I really can ask you, this is a die-hard Nick's fan. How often, every day, week, month, does it cross your mind of like, we're set up, which means something stupid's gonna happen, someone's gonna get hurt. - I don't think that way. - Okay, respect. - Because it's been this long since we've been in contention. I think last year we should have gone to the finals which of course we should have done. And that would have been, you know, 25 years. I mean, it was 25 years since we made the Eastern Conference Final. So to me, I was like, let's just fucking be positive. Let's just feel good about this. I love the team. - I mean, there are runs is amazing, but like, defensively. And he does so many, small, and not as fall. He's has a gray boundary though, so I don't know. - Correct, it's like all these nuances. I feel like they're just, I agree. I, on the other hand, am like, fuck, man. I really think this is our year and like, fuck. You know, like, the bills, right? Like, this was their year. - Yeah. - Right, the chiefs. - 'Cause you're a gunshot off camera. - You know, just like, just like, you know, like, you don't wanna miss that window. This isn't so fucking tough. - Yeah, man, they are tough. - I like that they beat the shit out of us though. - Yeah. - I like this false provile. I kind of like, already have fully dreamed up. - From the Celtics it to his last. - Correct, I fully have dreamt in game one stunning them in Detroit, and then being like, oh, fuck, and then my fucking taking the series. - I'm nervous. - I'm nervous too. They're very tough. It sucks to go against a tougher team in the playoffs, but we are more skilled, I think. - But they're tough. - They're tough. - They're tough. I respect them. - How far out in Jersey did you live? Like, did you get to come in the city and go to games and all that? - No, I, it's, that was more just 'cause we were fully immigrant life, like, like, in high school I did, in high school I did, but I lived in Edison. - Okay. - So I lived in Edison, New Jersey. Not far from where Cat grew up, and it was awesome. Like, another thing that I think makes me love people is I got very fortunate with the diversity I grew up with. I went to Martin Luther King Elementary School at Edison, New Jersey, and we had like the craze. I looked at my second grade picture. Yeah, thank you. I love this fucking. This is the best part of the show. - You'll go bitch. - We had crazy diversity. I was there with the big Indian immigration era. Look at that school. By the way, I was the president of the school in fifth grade. - I'm feeling, I'm feeling feelings right now. - Wow. - It was the press. - Did you have to run against anyone you're doing? - I did against, again, I got, you know what? In hindsight, I used to feel proud of myself, and then I realized something not too long ago. There was, it was a three person race. It was me versus Kimber, Kim Delayee, and Kristen, something, Diane Foss, I don't remember, but it was two girls in me. So I won the full boys' vote, fifth grade. I won the full boys vote. - Oh, I'll play. - We're in their temperamental. - We can't decide what's for lunch. - I can't lead. - How the fuck did you know my opening line? - I'd be scared to give a speech at the MLK, but I get shot. - What are you doing? - I love Nye. - He sounds a little cranky. - He sounds like she'll lead in a while. - That's that time of the month. - I like this. - 70 to 83. - Wait, did Jessica Alba go to my school? - I didn't want to do that. - What? - She would have won. - She would have been me, yeah. No, that's Thomas Edison, Florida. Anyway, so I grew up there like classic 80s Jersey fucking childhood. But no, I didn't get to go to games 'cause we didn't spend money on things like that. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - And then my dad went from being a stockboy and owned a small liquor store in Springfield, New Jersey. And a big thing happened for me and my favor. My dad was part of a co-op because all these stores were small. They couldn't buy a full page ad and the star ledger themselves. So they built a whole co-op. Everybody would chip in. And then they were able to buy ads. And my dad was in charge of the beer that would go in every week on sale. So the beer people would want to hook him up because they wanted their beer in the eyes. So Miller and Coors and they all had seats. And so when I was in high school, I was able to go to, I was able to go to a lot more nick games and Ranger game. I was like, you know what? The 92 Rangers is prop. Look at that guy. Look at that guy. - Yeah, he sure. - Look at that cutie. - I would molest him. - Look at that. - That's adorable. - You wouldn't have lasted a day on that island, buddy. (laughing) - Yeah! - Yeah, all right. - I'm impressed with that. - Love it. - Look at that. Bro, I was a big Yankee fan. - That is cute. - That was cute. - Yeah, that's adorable. - That was really cute. - '85, look at that. - Boy, oh boy. Jared Fugel is calling it. - There's my real face. Oh wait, that one right there. Yeah, oh no, they edited it. - Look at that sweater. That's 80's baby. - Yeah, maybe that they edited it. If you could find the real version that shows my interest. - It's like a manly red sweater. I wonder if there's a version of that. Oh, actually, there's my second grade class. - This right here. - There's her left. - Oh here? - Yeah. - Holy. - Whoa, why are you to focus? Look at this diversity. There is Indian Asian black. Look at that. - This will be all Indian today, by the way. - Correct, that is said. Like I was there when it really exploded. - Uh huh. - It got even crazier. But there it is. - Wow. - I mean, look at this is wonderful diversity. - Sure. - Michael Wong right there. - Jonathan Cazadoy, Joaquil Shaw. - It looks like Sarah Sherman in the bottom left. - I'm in with my two best friends, Dave Jennings and Rashon Courtney in the middle. Yep, that's me in the middle. - Oh. - With a bunch of pink. - Oh man. - That's my subconscious. I mean, pretty much. - Oh, this is you here. - Yep, that's me. - Look at that. Brian Chen right below me to the left. - Whoa. - Ricky D. Ann. Next up, her name was Ricky D. Ann. - Ricky D. Ann. - Yeah, damn. - All the way to the far right of the bottom. - Ricky D. Ann. - That's Ricky Ann. - The other side, far right. That's Marissa Bird. May she rest in peace. One of my best friends, Tom Boyd. She passed from cancer 10 years ago unfortunately. But I love that her name was Marissa Bird 'cause she loved Larry Bird. And she literally was like the third best athlete. Boyd girl included in the class. - Who's this dark? - That is Mike Sikochi, really dorky kid. Really, he was dorky all the way through him. - He took his own life eventually. - I hope not. He was a nice kid, but he was super dorky. - Sweet boy. - Cazadoy, Michael Wong right there. - I brought him up recently. Smartest kid in the ass. - This is good content right here. - Let's go through name by name. - I don't want anyone else hard. - We're literally the kids of content here. He's like, and over there. And over there. - I'm enjoying the show. - I don't point to your point. Let's move on. But I gotta say this. - We're gonna get fine. - Michael Wong in the red. - Yeah. - We did the year after this. We did it so please. - Is that it with the camera? - Yeah. - All right. - Michael. We did a class vote for the 84 presidential election and Michael Wong was the only kid in the entire school that voted for Walter Monde and his reasoning. His campaign was a he's Wong for the school. Don't vote for him. He's won. I don't want to be white. For the country. Everybody wrote it for Reagan. Every single kid in the school voted for Reagan. Yeah. Fun fact, everyone was listening. 49 and 50 states and 84. Wow. Seems insane now, right? Yeah. Did Monde'll lose his own state? No, he won his own state. He's my own state, okay. Minnesota and Michael Wong, this face, look at this face. He, at nine years old, explained in deep analytical truths why Monde was the right choice. Wow. We call that autism today. But hey, the guy goes by his own state of his pants for the first time in 30 years. Michael found him on LinkedIn. He's crushing it. Good. He's got some lawyer executive. He's got balls. He went the other way. Intellectual monster. Yeah. Michael Wong. There you go. Yeah. He went his own way. That's commendable. Intellectual monster does sound like a slurifer. My leg. That's something for you guys. I got you. Intellectual monsters. They're taking over tech. Man. I want to bring back to bring good content. I got something for you. All right. I got away for you guys to make millions. I think both of you should start doing live social shopping. Oh. Do you guys know about this? This is makes us unhatable. I'll take the black dildo. You guys are serious. Which one's good for dandruff? You guys have crushed. You guys have crushed hate ability already. You're good. You're over the line on that. Watch this. But look out. This is so stylized and big production. She's got a conveyor belt. That's the green screen. It's a green screen. And some intern is just handing her shit. Oh, all right. Now this is the extreme of the extreme. The extreme of China 10 years later. But you men should create a product and start doing live shopping. A big cat. Yes. A whiskey. Yes. Sell our whiskey. You sold booze for years. Do you guys have a jersey distributor? Yes. Yeah, we do. But shout out. Do you? Yeah, yeah. I think so. So I will super support you. You guys want to live. Yes. I'll get thousands of people there. Oh, I will do a sale. You guys will promote. You get like 15 to 20 people there. I'll promote. That's pretty good for us. Hey. Hey, that's content right there. Gary Vee has been sober 12 years. What do you think? It's got a nice spice. Yes. It's a hell of a rye. Guys, you did a nice job. Hey, thank you. You know what? Kudos. You know, usually. You want some water or anything? Well, when celebrities make something. We're not that. That's exactly what I was trying to say. Celebrities. When celebrities make something. A lot of times they'll put a private label on some horse shit. And they try to pedal it. It was really prominent in the 90s, early 2000s. That's really good stuff. Oh, that's quite smooth. Wow. What's the suggested retail of something like that? 3999. But yeah, online. It's like 45 I think. Respect. We had the win library in Springfield, New Jersey. By the way, we'll probably be 2999 because we discount everything. Hey. But seriously, if you guys have a Jersey distributor, I'd love to support you and do something meaningful. Wow. We would be honored. I'll take a photo. This is why I train here. By the way, his name is Train. Train. I ran one of you. I'll take a shot of this. We'll do something proper. I'll help you out. Because that's a. It's really good man. Oh, thank you. Springfield. Edison. Bring the Indians. But on a serious. On a serious note. I really think live shopping. Some comedian of some comedian of your general ilk. Call it tier 1.5. Sure. All right. Maybe not the top five. You guys are in the next one. Yeah, it's. It's QBC on TikTok on. It's coming to all the platforms. But don't. I know it may work, but don't you think it's bad? No, I'll tell you why. And I'm starting to see a theme with you. Oh. Then I'm gonna. I want my shit to not suck ass. No, that's why I like you. Oh, okay. That you think that everyone defaults into sucking ass. Right. There's genres. And to your point, 99% do it poorly. I was about to make that point earlier. The reason the world's not going to have everyone doing this. Because they're not going to get a views. Because they're not good enough. Like talent actually matters. But do you believe that the cream always rises to the top? I do. But I do. I do believe. Well, more now. By that logic, the best filmmaker ever is like Michael Bay. Great. So a couple of things. The best commercially. Right. And to your point, not in the old world. I'll tell you what I love about social in comedy talk. I believe many of the comedians that are doing well right now would have had no prayer if the internet didn't exist. I agree with that. But are they good? Or are they just out there a lot? The question becomes who gets to decide what's good? People who decide it because everyone-- Everyone gets to decide what's good. Correct. And so the market is the market is the market. Now in Hollywood, I don't think that's true. Because people subjectively decide what films go in. That's a small sample size. And it has to play out. They're gatekeeping. They're gatekeeping. And by the way, I'm not mad at them. It's the nature of what we grew up with. Yes. There's only so many screens. Like, I get it. I love when everyone's like fucking like Superman 9. Or we don't do new franchises. And then they get Peg to be a superhero. And they're like, this is the best. Right. You know, like the amount of people that have shitted on the Marvel Universe only to then get $10 million to be a new superhero. And they love it. I would do it in a second. Correct. I got Peg to be a superhero. A painful Captain Peg. That's the same joke. But yeah. No, it's a good point. You guys were so, like, that was so fun to watch. So, the fact that you two look alike and are in the same exact place mentally. Our periods are synced. Fully, right? Fully. It's a heavy flow day. I'm a serious note. What superhero do you think you play? I can be like a ant man or something. I like that. A minor. I couldn't be Iron Man or Superman. But I can be a douchey, you know, loser superhero. What about old to be superheroes? That's true. Why? You guys keeping it together? Captain Apathy. We have something, you know. Anyway. The listener. I think. The diddler. I think that's to your point. 90% of the content. I can tell you right now 99% of the content of live shopping is what you would hate. Right? It's just. Yeah. Low budget QVC. As if QVC wasn't like like low budget QVC. Cama. There are people that are starting to figure out something I believe in called commerce team. Let me tell you why I think you guys would crush. You guys actually know how to entertain. If you took a step back and you understood what you were selling. How cool is a little tricky? You know how that is with American laws. But let's just say this was non-alcoholic and it was 40 bucks. Now you got a product that has a good A.O.V. Average order value. It's 40 bucks. If you guys did a show where you know your live shop selling and you want people to buy. But you also want to entertain them. My belief is that knowing your talents from afar. That I know that you guys would figure out how to make that mix. And then now you're putting out an hour piece of content. We were interacting with your fans. Which by the way, both of you on the record should do more of. You guys going live for 15 minutes. Pre or public. By the way, before I came on or after. Just going live on TikTok. Where they're just going to send you random people. Because you're in the 4U page. Who make you guys much bigger. We should try that. I mean, he'll feel, he'll film it. We don't want to do anything. No, wait, you understand, right? By the way, you guys could do it. Again, my greatest strength is I've got just enough percentage points. Of what you guys do for a living. That I've been able to break out a bit. I'm a business man who just happens to have a personality. That is a little bit more engaging. But my biggest strength for sure is I've got improv capabilities. I can roll. When you go live, your greatest strengths. Fucking shine extra. Uh-huh. When you go live on TikTok. Unlike when you go live on Instagram, when you go live on Instagram, it pings your fans. Yep. And then you know, because you've probably done it a couple times. Like it starts with a couple hundred. And then there's like 12 people in there. Yes. Because it only pings once. It's like an orgy. Yeah. Respect. Yeah. TikTok. TikTok's the reverse. Yeah. By the way, this man deserves a raise. Yeah. Oh, really? I'm being dead serious. This gentleman. Oh, we're doing a lot. We're doing a lot. We're doing a lot of work. Yeah, there's there's tons of people that you think are do you know many people have no idea we're just very self-conscious about putting too much out I was guys I know because you're in the perfect age where you're confused by this because you're just old enough to hold on to yesterday's years of Distribution yeah, but what I feel like everybody we're boring these people are I'm bored. I don't want to see this ugly mug look at these brillo pads floating around so Like chappelle right yeah, like Kevin Kevin Hart. How many use him? I haven't already exposed ready not overexposed on the data overexposed exposed on your subjective opinion based on yesterday's rules You would you would shit. How many people have no idea what the fuck Kevin Hart. No way. Okay, come on all right He's pretty popular. He's as famous as it gets and when he goes on a twitch stream with a young streamer Half the room is like who's this really? Yes, but then I show speed or well those guys Right size than that. I'm proud of you. I think I got that. That's kind. Yeah, we're too old super heroes Then this is a big deal especially for you guys personally like real talk outside the pod Seriously before a nick game or if we were to hanging you guys are in a very interesting spot because you're and by the way I don't know you dudes. I have no idea of how much bigger you want to get you might be fucking pumped Exactly where you are. Yeah, this is not bad. But Real talk. There are definitely strategic Executions that put you in a different stratosphere if you want it because I have all the elements all the ingredients It's about playing the distribution and awareness. I'm gonna call my agent like I should be bigger. He said real talk dammit But you know what I mean? No, I mean there's stuff we want to do I think we're kind of patient. We wrote a movie. We're gonna film it. I think it's like yeah By the way, I all of that like what for maybe we'll hit you up at promoting the movie I feel we're doing this without something like push, you know bro. You'll love this so much I couldn't understand what the fuck you're saying more makes all the sense in the world Yeah, I would also say that if you actually gave me three hours to explain it in detail It's not the Ick that you think it is. But there's a little thing called mystique Don't you feel like some guys have mystique and you go I wonder what they're up to yes, but I see them every three years And they blow your mind and they go away again. Yeah, I a couple things one. I don't think you're playing that game Okay, like I don't think you guys are I don't think you're doing every three years make 50 million no So you're not playing that game to I'm telling you the attention of society's fragmented Yeah, we lost our listeners in this episode. Yeah, especially because I was fucking pointing to Michael Wong for an hour I fucking ruined you guys. We lost the females with the bills talk too. Yeah for damn sure, but that that's we don't have any female listeners Yeah, I guess that we had one trans you understand it's not this Train gender you've turned him into like he's like a mini me version of you now That was like a Norman Autistic like trans train Brain insane Man, you are dangerously close to the next tier If you wanted it and I think there are some tweaks and more importantly, why I'm really ranting this you guys I'm really proud of you guys are crushing. There's a lot of people listening right now Who are junior versions of you who really need to hear what the fuck I'm saying. I hear you But there's also there's a lot of work because of what you do this level of work. You got to keep it up Then you have no life. No, you don't have to do anything No, that's what I've been trying to say. I don't want to do anything But you understand you could do it for six months. Uh-huh. You decide it's too much. You could go to Africa for a month What am I should tell? It's exactly where I'm going. Okay. You should pal as the example. You can do whatever you want. I'll go to South Africa You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You like like this whole thing like you're fully in control I'm asking I'm wondering does this crew. I mean he's ambitious Yeah, well he's broke Makes sense I feel like you it's cool to know how much You guys are in charge and like where you can go like again I come here out of like real joy because you guys are in the sweetest spot that I think a career can be in where you have optionality And if you're romantic and I'm and I think it's strategic that like no, no, I want to go down this path We're gonna write moot film like that makes sense to me sure like it's definitely the game that you guys watched happen before you We had fun writing it together. I think we're not fun making it Now you're talking about the real is shit anything that I'm saying that's not fucking fun. Fuck it All right, all right, all right. This is not about you have to I like this is you should consider if you want xyz to happen Yes, and back to the chappelle reference If you get like if you followed it and it goes to a place Financially brand awareness opportunity and it like actually this is fucking fuck this then fucking take your fucking foot off the pedal But it's nice to hear we're watching you. This is like watching Walter white make mess. We got you on here. You're you're doing your thing Yeah, I like making math That explains your face Which you share very Remember this is like we've established that we all look enough alike that any disc is a fucking disc on your fucking self It's a fucking mirror. We all this Eastern European face for sure man. Thank you for having me on No, it's been awesome man. We appreciate it. That was amazing. Uh, yeah, I mean what I think you want to plug in? Oh look at the talkers and doers baby Yeah, but on his Instagram on the right is Chris Brown by the way Uh, nah man, I honestly this was very selfish. I've been enjoying watching you guys Execute over the last five years. I'm a real fan of Honestly the whole genre and kind of this modern comic with all this optionality and I think you guys do good work and the nix fan thing really matters to me You too, dude, I every one of my team is a big nix fan and like my lawyer my agent. I'm like, it's important to me Do you like the nix? Buff like you're good that way, right? And why Bob you grew up there Respect there you go, but I've been watching you for years man. I've been watching you before I moved to New York before I did comedy all over YouTube Thank you. Hey, you got it. Good to finally talk to you Yeah, thanks man. Bye, bro. So really right. I'm adding a bunch of stuff guys But I'm also gonna take a little time off the road after I taped the special so uh come see me in L.A Netflix is a joke fest May 7th at uh, I can't read where I am right there is the United theater on Broadway United theater I'm with Jordan Jensen Joe list and Rachel fine time. It's gonna be a really cool show. That's a lot lined up and it's gonna be great And then I'll be in Lisbon the end of August, but you know all of this is I'm gonna add a few more things I'm probably gonna do another Europe tour different places I hit them last time I'm gonna keep it kind of like I need to live a little. I need to create the new hour. Yes As Chris rock has said to us You got to you got to live life to have shit to write about take the foot off the gas take the foot off the gas a little and then hopefully we're filming a fucking movie Hopefully, hopefully god damn it Takes forever these execs. All right Buffalo, New York. Uh, that's gonna sell out so come on by uh, go bills Portland, Maine already sold out Providence, Rhode Island the veterans memorial auditor one of the great theaters. Love that town. I'm sorry about the shooting Kentucky Lexington love this club to comedy off Broadway Fort Lauderdale at the improv Daniel Beach and Chattanooga We just added the Walker theater, which is a great theater. I love that town Chattanooga great city good nights in Raleigh going back to the clubs. I'll be at the comedy store in the Netflix Fest as well and What is that Ontario new newvo brunswick and Canada spoke in and Philadelphia to name a few I haven't plugged this in a few weeks. I gotta get back on track the threesome tracker I have not really tried. I got to get back out there. I've been busy. I've been busy running this Special. I've been at women and fucking Yeah, we got to get on and keep us posted. I'll keep you posted as Gary V said page stage is a great idea to available on punch up live. That's true. Two episodes on there right now You can go get it for like three bucks each that's a good point and the Epstein specials up there and get some bodega But in the liquor game for 30 years. So Tell a friend see you guys next week. I got a piss A wreck. You know the futures close I've had a little too much Furfin and Norman's talking shit about the fucking And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming and they can send you well. It's feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember And I get down in the same way And I get down in the same way