Ep. 273 - We Finally Did It

[music] This. [laughter] That's how I sound every morning right now. Followed it. That's how I sound whenever I send a message to Tim64. You got the weakest throw in the game. Speaking of Tim64. How does this happen? How does it happen? Christian had weak throw. Are you saying that QD is weak throw? Is that what you're trying to say? Because we all got sick, okay? I didn't get sick. I didn't get it. I didn't even feel a little sick. Didn't even get it. Also, oh my god. Oh my god. What was that? What did you just do? What happened? You changed the serpent. Yeah, the serpent. Oh, it barely fits. Why is it so loose? You just slid. Arche, if you can zoom in, it slid down your finger. Yeah, I lost weight. It's called the married guy, though. What's your song? Don't. Don't. Fucking talk about my wife like that. Yeah. How would you fucking kill your wife? You're talking about her throw. That's just wife. She got wife. She got what, bro? She is a strong woman. Yeah. Don't even say that. She's. Don't even compliment her. Don't even say that. She's. Beautiful. Dude, what are you trying to say? What the fuck? Fucking kill you, bro. Put your nuts on, bro. Dude, Tim, Tim, you're wedding. He had this big red tie and I came up to him and I'm like, "Hi, Tim." And he's like, "Hi." And we have a very frosty relationship. And I, but I see him and I say, and I said, "You look like a Republican senator." And then he looks up at me. He's like, "Everyone's saying that." Because it was true. He did look a little bit like that on hindsight. Yeah, he did. And a nice cut, though. Yeah, a great cut. Tim has an amazing hairline. Got a great hairline, bro. Yeah, that should have glued on. Yeah. It's lost, dude. But he was cleaned up. He shouldn't be messaging you so often. What's it like having a wife? You're a fan. I can't even explain it. That's a fucking crazy thing. What does the serpent say? May I touch the serpent? You can touch it. Too much. Oops. Can I wear it? Cut my fucking face. No. Actually, no. I'm actually not. Why? It is literally a taboo thing to do. What's yours as ours? No. No, guys, I don't know how much longer I'm going to do this. Do what? I have a family now. Do what? I'm actually there. Do you have a family now? Yes. I'm married have a wife. But she wasn't your family before. She's a girlfriend. Oh, she's good. What about when she was your fiance? Because you went on the whole family spearhead. Yeah. Yeah, I was like closer, you know, but. Yeah. But now she's really your family. Yeah, and now she's really locked. Right. So Nick and his girlfriend have been together about 10 years. It's 11. 11 years. Is that just an associate? That's just an associate. It's a roommate. A roommate. A roommate with extra steps. About a buddy. I'm a micro-friend. Yeah. She's not a roommate. At any point, you could go to Bhutan. And it would be normal. Right. No one would bat an eye. Okay. And be like, yeah, this is. That is normal to deal with zipper. You eat a lady Jaguar. I'm going to be Jaguar. She is lady Jaguar. Not zipper. She's lady Jaguar. Yeah, cutie. Okay. We got fucking married. Let's go. What? Yeah. Yeah. This somewhere else should be the pyramid picture. Oh. Oh. Facts. Yeah. Do we have it? Which honestly, you guys did really well. No, I don't have it yet. I wish. I'm impressed with Nick. I wish there was a pyramid video. Because there was a moment where they were like, all right. Taking the picture three. And my glasses are doing this. Yeah. And my glasses are like this, right? And I'm bottom middle of the pyramid. So I'm like this. And I'm like, I gotta fix it. I killed it. I'm like, oh, dude, it was at Atlas shrugs. Just a simple shrug. So I'm like, yep. Why wouldn't it be like this? I'm just finding out this. Would it have been funnier if your glasses were off your face like you got punched? Yes. It would be funnier. But it felt like it was meant to be stuck in the phone. He did. He tanked the most weight. He tanked a lot of weight. He was the base. That was a great base. I just restore the next day. That's probably why you're sick. It's probably why you're sick. It's probably why you're sick, bro. Yeah. Maybe it was that. This became all your life. All my blood cells, all like shatter. Yeah. You were explanated from the pyramid. But we finally took the, we finally took the pyramid photo. Is what I waited all these years for. Pyramid photo is locked. Is that the only pyramid that exists? Is there a pyramid every? No, see, that's what I said to Aiden right after I said, I just realized after doing the pyramid, it implies there are four possible pyramids. Well, here's the weird thing about a pyramid. It's only possible with three or six. Yes. Because did you see the yard fan that did a wedding pyramid? Yes. Did they have an uneven? Well, was it the groom who was next to it? They had it. That's what we did. They had an uneven number. And then they had one guy just leaning up against the pyramid. No, that was the groom. That was the groom. That was the groom. Well, we did. Oh, I think they had a normal pyramid. Oh, wait. Can you look it up? I thought you didn't do it. Wait, I thought you were standing on the side of the pyramid. Yeah, I thought you were standing next to the pyramid. Oh, you are. I didn't think you were standing next to the pyramid. I thought about this for hours. He was going to be configuring all these bricks. It makes sense. You're wedding. You stand by the side of the pyramid. You're in wedges. You're in wedges. We're the slaves. And when he dies. And when he dies, we'll put him in silence. You're my slaves and I'm Xerxes. You said it exactly. So Ludwig wrote most people little cards about little things to say. And in Ludwig's card for me, he said we will be buried together. Yeah. He actually said two things, which I thought was really interesting. And he said we're not going to do the podcast forever. I'm like, you didn't really say that. But he also said we will be buried together. Yeah. Interesting. In fact, I said, exume my body and place it where his is. Because I will die first. I'm going to object to the sentiment. I will object. You'll have to exume me and replace me. I'll be dead. It doesn't make any sense. I'll be dead. I don't care. I'll be dead. I guess you can just fuck my body. Because I don't care. Because I'm going to fuck my body. I'm going to fuck my body. I said, I'm with you. I'm not with you. - I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been like, 14 when, this is like when, this is like when Cody Schwab went up to Kaylin in Australia and said, "Dude, this is like top 14 tournaments I've ever been to." And Kaylin was like, "Go fuck yourself, bro. "Tever talked to me again." (laughing) - Yeah, bro. - Kaylin deserved that because I think Kaylin five starred his sunburn on that trip. (laughing) - I think, I think Kaylin deserved it. - Kaylin deserved it. - Whatever was coming to him on that one. So, you know, these guys all, this speech is, and I'm, we're gonna need to hear it. They're all gonna need to hear the tear list of the speeches that everyone gave. - First of all, they're all beautiful. For whatever reason, in a lot of the speeches, people would have caught me fat. - I may have caused this inadvertently. - I think, I may have caused this. - I don't think you caused this 'cause Maya also did it. - Yeah, but she didn't, how she did it. - Oh, wait, no. - Okay, so you don't, I forgot maybe. So Maya came to me and she was like, "Are you nervous about your speech? "I'm nervous about my speech." And I was like, "No, not really. "It'll be fine." And she's like, "I don't know blah, blah, blah." And I was like, "Oh, are you making fun "along with your words 'cause that's like a freebie." You make fun, a lot of people, a whole crowd goes wild. And she was like, "Not really. "I kind of just like say, like, I know I give you shit." And I was like, "I sound really giving you shit." And I was like, "You should call 'em fat." I just said it straight up, "But call 'em fat in your speech." It'll go crazy. And she was like, "Oh my God, I'm like a call 'em fat." I'm like, "That's fine, I call 'em fat." And then she goes up to her speech and she goes, "Nicks that I should call you fat." Crowd goes wild. Everyone looks at me. I'm looking over at Nick. He's like, "I did not like you." And I'm like, "I didn't do that." And he was like, "Oh my God, the guy who did that." I definitely did that. I definitely did that. And it's also a little piss. I'm like, "That's my joke." And I was like, "I actually believed you though." That was a good sell. 'Cause I looked over at him. I'm like, "Oh my God." Well, then do you hear follower? Or follower? I wasn't gonna say it until I saw you up there. Oh my God. That's great. I was like, "Yeah, you definitely look fat today." Like what the fuck, bro? Yeah, I mean, you had a big, frumpy ass. I thought it looked good. You had a frumpy ass. You look great. You look great. You fished and you fit your fuck ass hair that you had the month before for the wedding. I was happy to see it. Dude, I liked my hair before. It was so glad to see your hair before the wedding. You liked it? Well, what I will say is cutie made one ask of me. She said, "I had to wax my nose hairs." I heard that. So I did it the day before the wedding. I'd never done it before. It's fast. It was like five minutes, 15 bucks. How'd they do it? She literally put hot wax in my nose. Whipple. Like popsicle six, spun it a couple times. Weighted like a few seconds. It goes, boom. It doesn't really hurt. It's not a lot of nerve endings there. Wow. And then she just like got all the straight hairs. What I didn't realize though is that nose hair catches a lot of stuff coming in. But also leaving. And so when I started crying up, it wasn't, it just fell. It fell as freely as tears, because there was nothing to catch it. Right. It's like when you wax your asshole and then you have about a quarter ounce of sweat sloshing around. That's what my wedding was like. Yeah. It's like when you have an asshole. Yeah. Thanks man. It was the same thing. Because I wasn't getting there. So I appreciate it. But in total imagery of the similar thing, something more relatable. I was caught out there. And if you wax your asshole, that's probably what was going on down there and your frumpy husband has. Your wedding was like the weeping glands of your asshole. Weeping glands. And it was easily top 10. Top 10 and 14. That's pretty good. And we don't know where the tent it is. Definitely bottom half of the weddings I've been to. But top 10 for sure. All right. Yep. Appreciate that. No, I think it was my favorite wedding. I've been to. There's number one. Dude, it was beautiful. Flowers fucking worth it or what? I mean, flowers were beautiful. Flowers were beautiful. You could eat. They got the table. Don't fuck around. It wasn't crazy. They were like chopped up pomegranates on the table and I would just pick and I started eating one. And I was very careful because they didn't want to get rad all over me. They weren't like, it wasn't like a bowl of pomegranates for people to, hey, here. It was like, almost used like popery. Yeah. It was like a decoration. And I'm like, I checked to see if it was fake and I was like, not fake. And so I started eating it. I ate the grapes on the table too. Yeah. I felt like we were like squirrels foraging and stuff. It was W-Faps. I'm not above. It was W-Faps, bro. It was W-Faps. That's why it was W-Faps. Your wedding was W-Faps. That genuinely shit Adam and Eve used to walk in on, by the way. They used to walk in on a garden and look like that. Yeah. Straight up. Like fucking eat it and shit. And they also said W-Faps. And they were like W-Faps. And then she's like, I want apples today. Was it W-Faps? I think he wasn't allowed to, I don't know. No, but that's the whole thing they weren't allowed. But then, you know, that's the whole, I don't know the story. I don't know it. You'd hear the tradition. I like that. What? You had a good council meeting. What did you tell him about? The council meeting where we all, you know, we all go to the orb and we confer to see if the wedding should go through. Were you at the orb? No, I was not even at that point. No, you're not supposed to be at the orb. I don't know if the orb can draw him on that day. The council confers at the orb and we judge whether or not the wedding is righteous and true. The venue had one series of orbs which would be like outdoor seating for people. You're saying it dismisses and you've got to ask for this meeting. You guys at no point. So the wedding series has one series of orbs. We just take the wedding series on. I did. Well, we have it. You clutch it with your speeches. I'm going to give you examples and then you're going to fucking backtrack because we did a rehearsal, a walk through where we're all supposed to walk out in the entire time. We have Clayton who's sitting there and he's telling you guys, we're new this, you go, Clayton, when will we be at the orb? Do we start at the orb? Do you have the orb picturated? Didn't it respond to you? Should I go to the orb? I don't really do have that. After we're returning. Or would the orb come to us? And Clayton. It's like crazy that you're being an asshole. He is. No. You are being an orbist. Speaking through us, you're blaming us for the orbs. And that's what we're saying. Could not have commenced. If we had not consulted it. So there's an issue A, orb. Issue B. All right. Let's do a segment of the wedding where all the groomsmen come to my room and we get ready. And there's a photographer. Okay. And photographers there. You guys are talking crap. I said to the child's lover. Excuse me. You're talking crap in front. You're pointing. No. I read the vibes. She was lit. She's sitting there with the cameras of woman, the dame, from seven men getting dressed. And you talk about Connor Howe's ass looks. Yeah. He's got pants for a child. Maybe he'll wear a Welsh video. It does look like a Welsh video. I don't know why. And you're doing all this in front of her. I wasn't commenting on Connor's ass. I just gave it a look and I went up and then I continued onto my day. Just a comment anymore. She was laughing. No, I realized that she was laughing for one, but two, all the photos were better because fucking pedophile Christian was smiling. So I'm like, I don't know. Don't call that. Well, he's your best man. Yes. P.S. P.S. I didn't know that the best man got ordered around on wedding. Oh, yeah. He get bitch. Christian, you do this. Christian, come over here. Fuckin' do this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know it was like that. But I need some fucking help. Yeah. And you guys are, these clowns are worried about the orb. I need someone. I wasn't worried about the orb. We were comforted by the orb. The orb felt worried about us. I feel like. Well, no. This is the orb. What the fuck? I told you. I told you. This is the picture. I've never seen this before. Let me show you a cave out. So much better than I thought. We comforted. We were taking it. You saved it, boy. We comforted. We comforted. Oh, man. So, let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So we had the counseling and the orb sort of presents itself. And oftentimes, if the wedding, you need to test. If the wedding is not righteous, you need to sacrifice a member by putting them in the orb. There's nothing sacred. You should be happy about this. Because here's what happened. I submitted myself as the second best man. Yeah. It's like Christian is too important. It would be tragic. Yeah. And I said, if this wedding be true, and I said this the orb, if this wedding be true, may I explode inside of the orb? In my blood, paint the walls. Visorah. Disgusting. It covered the walls of the orb. And I waited. What are they trying to do? Make it happen? No. Well, we're trying to send as much anti-matter power. Anti-matter power into the orb to protect him. It's futile. Nick, you're making a thumbnail face. I snuck into the orb. What are you talking about? Well, I was just. I was just. I was just letting their power. You're speaking into the fucking orb. I was just remembering Mondays coming when we come back. And I'm like, just in case. Yeah. Just in case we got to make this the thumbnail. So P.O. is there as well? Because we were all just talking and bullshitting before this orb ceremony. Which I was terrified about. Because it might have blown my bones apart. You know what, dude? It's what I'm thinking, dude. It's going to be my funeral, right? I'm going to die first. You're all going to be there attending. You're going to find like a small outhouse. You're going to go, it's the cube. We have to respond him and the cube, boys. Boys, we need to all lift the cube. And then we'll open it. It'll be inside. It's a respawn. We would. Isn't it weird when he got married? There was an orb and here there's a cube. It's probably just an orb. I mean, in my. Oh, there's a respawn van. In my grief, I probably would go to an outhouse because your funeral would take place in Alabama or something for some reason. That's where I died on the fucking 55. Yeah, on the 55 going a million miles an hour. And I would go and I would try to. I would try to say, Ludwig, appear. I would try. I would try. I would give it a best. Because at that point, shapes are obviously a theme at your events, right? Because it's pyramids, orbs, cubes. Because Ludwig, it wouldn't be a wake. We should be able to summon you back, probably. This is. This is, you know what? It's all right, because you guys had great speeches and I was the only job I gave you. I think you're not being So this is actually so this is actually behind the scenes of the orb We didn't actually no slime was gonna be gone forever So we were sort of just like hanging out didn't realize the stakes yet. Yeah, that's right. We're just Thank you guys. What's up? Today's episode is brought to you by Helix sleep What I like about Helix sleep is that they don't actually discriminate with who can buy and enjoy and purchase their beds Isn't that right Aiden? Yeah, see me and Aiden here have actually been having raw sex in our Helix sleep beds We took the sleep quiz. We found out that we're compatible with the type of bed that we'd like to share and I've pretty much just been blowing his back out completely raw And isn't that right? Yeah, yeah, I'm so glad you agreed Aiden. I'm so glad you agree The nice thing about Helix sleep mattress is besides the fact is that you can blow out your boys back is it has sleep zones to customize your sleep There's free shipping and seamless delivery ours just unboxed it together I'm pretty much just put it right to town And there's a 120 night sleep trial and if you don't like it There's a lifetime warranty so you can get your money back and send the mattress back So go to Helix sleep comm slash the art for 20% off-site ride And that's helix sleep comm slash the yard for 20% off-site-wide Helix sleep comm slash the yard I think it's one of those things where you you seem almost a little irritated by this Okay, it's it's oftentimes people are very bad at Recognizing preventative action, you know, like they don't they don't realize the effort that went into making sure like the wedding went off Perfectly, it was a top 10 wedding and I'm probably because we did this. Thank you, bro. Thank you for saying that to him cuz I don't speak Does a ring is it an orb in a ring? Okay Everything was fine Okay, you crossed the line When we were around the cake and I was trying to take pictures. You remember this. I wasn't part of this I'm excited. I do this. I remember you were there I remember we were around the cake. It was right before we were going to walk out and start the ceremony and we're taking picture. We're doing a tick-tock and There's cutie's cake. It's set up. It's beautiful. She made her own wedding cake. Yes, and I'm saying guys watch the cake And what is fucking I start doing oh I'm not touching it. I'm gonna play in the I'm not touching it gay I think this was probably me. I didn't do this. I didn't do this. I wouldn't do this. I can't I can't say I can't say what if we dive into the cake for the tic-tock I'm gonna dive into the cake. I'm gonna dive into the cake. Oh handful cake My job is to not fuck shit up on the wedding day. Yeah, and I'm ours too. I'm responsible for you guys. Oh, fuck fuck you Fuck this fuck you fuck your top 10 wedding. You trapped us in that little room. Oh my god. The little room was in Santa We had to wrap. We were trapped in a hot little room dressed up in our monkey suits and then Nick had to employ Michael to describe tic-tocks and Instagram reels to it because we were bored. Yeah, so so it was a phoneless wedding So we did not we don't actually lit But you have to understand what that does to us Like you wondering why we're so riled up. We don't have our phone, right? So I go to Michael I say Michael you're my phone and I'm gonna scroll you Michael scroll and he goes, okay, um, okay a video and it's a Chinese family and I'm like scroll Motorcycle accident and I'm like Michael's algorithm was like I like how he's going through what he just watched Yeah, and then I was like oh, it's not it's not tic-tock. It's it's a do you do you it? It's don't you you actually made him One of them was a Chinese factory worker accident and you actually made him restart it. I said I said I looped it I'm watching it again. They read this guy Yeah, this is what we had to do dude He took our phones away my only reprieve because Michael Michael couldn't keep the channel going was talking is talking to Clayton and I had to or us, bro Yeah, like we were all in a room. You're acting like it was fucking hell, bro. That's what this podcast is We're in a roomy chat and you're asking Clayton. We heard shit, bro. You never met the fucking guy Dude, you were a grilling guy was helping with the wedding and aid and go shit Well, what is your greatest regret in your biggest accomplishment? That's like his third question After like what's your name? Yeah, I did my ocular pat down And I and then I began inquiry. Yeah, to make sure that he was safe He was like with my greatest regret. I don't know my greatest like accomplishment probably my son And we went oh, he didn't have the biggest he went with the classic. He said I don't have my biggest regret I don't regret anything because every decision in my life has you know led to Consequences in learning Hitting guy with your car and him flying off the side of the road and landing into a big tree and you were changed forever You don't get that you don't regret that because we all did that everyone did that We all hand we all handled that ourselves when we were teenagers when we did that. Yeah, Colorado. There's a fiasco What are the wedding? Which they were many I can feel okay. I'm a few we shant I'm a little concerned of the fiasco's you're talking about I would love to know the fiasco You're talking about the fiasco where Conner's pants were made for children. Oh my god. He did something fucked up So Conner received the wrong tuxedo pants and they were like basically capris on him dude They were genuinely for children and he looked like a toy soldier that nutcracker Well, he kept doing this thing and it was I was like I was trying to chill him out because like The what he was describing is like dude Michael would fit into these pants And all he kept saying is like it's just made for a child like a toy monkey Yeah, I guess I guess it's just a toy monkey's pants whoever would fit into this. It's just absolutely a childish Literally a small like a midget baps It's just like those are mine Like bro chill the fuck out We have low-key a short awesome lit fucking friend. You need a fucking chill out But he he was so irate and his big ass was just speaking whispers to him like salary. I don't think it's like that No, it's weeks. I was pursuing like talking like Michael's um, I was a Mexican man He's saying like things that are racist towards Mexicans. He's just saying the pants were small No, he was not just saying that he's not hurting. He was he was like talking about how insane it was that pants exist I don't remember that. He was just like who would this fit The ridiculous. They're so tiny. It's just it's like I just should get symbols because I'm in the circus Then you know this is most breathing as man his accent is weird. Yeah, it is the hardest hard to deal because it's not British Yeah, I think I can get to his timbre, but I can't do his accent. Yeah, he hits by pants day I've I don't even think I told cutie this really well not on the wedding day for sure Yeah, she was there's no value in telling her that Conner's pants don't fit and he has to go to the store He might be a bit late. Yeah, we took a bunch of photos as the groomsman and Conner's not in most of them because he was at the mall getting new pants Do you know some I kept getting ridiculed and sort of shut down really Honestly, really meanly by you guys brother's awesome idea I had and I was saying if I ever happened to get married I have You started not your engine to laugh at me. Can I have the floor for some fucking respect? No one said anything, bro He's gonna say some shit in a bit. Yeah, I actually know exactly what I'm gonna say this is for it This is for the viewers Imagine you are at a wedding and After the bride and groom get get get marry each other and they become husband and wife they engage in the wedding fight In the groom he takes all of his groomsman they get into a boxing ring and one by one for one minute straight He fights them all like a train. Yeah, and it's the wedding fight and there was a detail you left out The winner has to marry her. I don't you guys made up that detail. I don't like it. Obviously. I just have to live with humiliation No, obviously you're not allowed to be wed if you lose the fight Would allow their daughter to be taken by a man who lost the fight at the wedding fight That's up to her right? Maybe she wants like a pathetic loser Physical loser. You'll spend the rest of your life with her It's just the technicality on the paper. It's gotta be our name Can I pivot this idea a bit please because I actually think I like I do too. I think imagine it's a wedding But you don't fight your your your men. That's your men. Okay. You've chosen them. You should fight the father of the bride to the death I think they just used to do this you should fight the father of the bride to the death And then when they say does anyone have any objections anyone objects you also have to fight that was a fire at your wedding That there was and if anyone has any objections Yeah, I haven't heard that a wedding ever. Yeah, they don't say anymore. It was pretty cool. Yeah, apparently you don't have to say it But I mean I made a joke because cutie's brother officiated the wedding I made a joke during the rehearsal. I was like I've been rehearsing my my objection. I'm gonna be like I kept like And he looked at me and he said don't worry. I got you like I'm gonna ask Like dude, thanks bro. I was like oh the amount of people who said they were gonna do it. It was cricket's when it happened Yeah, because that's that's when the rubber meets the road because then you're like It would be a big statement to do it. Fly him, I think he was doing rehearsals. I don't think-- - I was just funny, you were not sitting at any point. - Yeah, you were sitting at-- - I know. - This is before I read. - Sit down about, get in the seat. Slime Ling's over to me, win this idea. This idea was born in the rehearsal. And Slime Ling's over and he goes, this is actually the first time I've considered getting married. Is the idea that I can fight all you guys. - Yeah, visit. I was thinking about like, oh look, I'm winning by you. - She's a best serious, this actually made me consider. - I was like, this would be so fun. And you know, I had to marry my girlfriend, where I love, and why would you fight us? - 'Cause it's like, it's a celebration. It's like a celebration of how far we've come, and how strong we've been. - It could just be like a little prick of a man, and he'd marry someone, and he picks a bunch of children as his best friend. - Well, I was saying, I was like, okay. - Oh my goodness, but are kids? - I was like, it obviously would be you guys, and then Christian's talking to me, and he's like, yeah, so who do you take? And I'm like, okay, Nick, Aiden obviously sleeps easily. And I'm like, Ludwig's final boss. Like, that's like the tough one. Like, I have to deal with Ludwig, and that's like, the big fight, right? That'd be so insanely fun to watch. - But I'm sitting here, this is what I agree with you guys. I kind of have to throw a fight, and not against you specifically, but if I'm in the wedding fight, and I'm one of the crew's men, I can't win. - You have to throw a-- - I have to throw. - I think it's ceremonial. - Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, it's supposed to be. - It's about how mad he'd be. - Yeah, that's nasty, bro. - With him specifically, he'd be mad, but like, to me, it's like winning, I don't wanna, I can't, I can't get a second wife. - I don't, this whole wife-- - Why do I do it for-- - Wiring thing, I think is the wrong idea. - Okay. - I just want the fight. - And also, let's say if it was your wedding, and we all had to fight you. - Yes. - I'm not holding back. - Please do. - Why? - So I wanna win on my wedding day, it's my wedding day. - But I would kill you. - It's like, a wedding is like a birthday that happens once a lifetime. - Yeah, that's why they're more important than birthday. - Yes. - Is there a dream, like in your dream scenario here, is the bride fighting her bridesmaids as well? - If she wants, yeah. - Why don't you just, why don't the grooms fight the bridesmaids? - Oh, wow. - Why don't you just have a card? - No, he wouldn't have a card. - No, I don't want you to have a card. - Be a tailor in the ring, like. - Dukin' it out, bro. - You got the headgear on him, she is. - Yeah, this is my idea, it was laughed at, and I was humiliated, I was laughed out of the wedding. They literally chased me away with canes and shit, and I was running away. - But, yeah, dude, I fucking cried a bunch. - You do the right stuff. - You're so lunch. - Oh my God, I think the part that sent to a lot of people is there's this magical moment, 'cause I cannot express how beautiful the venue is outside. Like, it is the background. It's honestly like a windows, screensaver, like something they would, they would like put in default paintings for the rest of life. That's the background of the wedding. - Guy has never been Colorado. It just looks like my backyard. - That's also beautiful. - That's also a beautiful place. - That's not beautiful if you look here every day. It's also a beautiful place. - It's not beautiful. - I grew up in a more beautiful state than Colorado. - No, he didn't actually do it. - I did. - No, it's a disgusting state. - If you did say, if you're in a full account, can I ask you a question? - I'm sorry, yeah, go ahead. - Let's say you're married to those beautiful women in the world. - I'm imagining it. - Is she still the most beautiful woman when you wake up next to her year 50? - Lady Jaguar is still the most beautiful. - So then why is the view any less beautiful just 'cause you've seen it every day? - Wow. - Wow, wow, wow. - Lady Jaguar. - No, I'll say this. Lady Jaguar gets some miles on her. (laughing) - Okay, well the mountains don't. (laughing) - The mountains don't. - The mountains don't grow. 50 or so don't grow. - The venue is so incredible. And the music, everybody's there. The flower girl just these like movie-esque turns as she throws the flowers down the aisle. And then cutie, cutie comes up. Cutie comes up with her dad. And then the music like stores. And then you look at Ludwig. He is literally blubbering. Like his whole jaw is shaking. He looks like you had like the anime tears or it was like a waterfall on the sides. And because it was coming out your nose. - Yeah, I had to ask 'cause you guys all had pocket squares. I said, "Krishen, give me your pockets." - Yeah, that was lit. I liked that. - And then I was just, I was just like, (laughing) 'cause I was just fucking losing it. - Yeah. - I cried, do you know when I first started crying, well I cried a bit rehearsing my vow in the bathroom, but the first time I cried for real is when you walked out at cry. - What? - I thought of you dying. - Really? (laughing) - He likes me crying too, some people. - You were like, he's just so close. - No, this is what I remember way back. - Way back when you recorded that Christmas album, I would listen to it in the car and be like, if Ludwig was dead and I was listening to this, I would be a wreck right now. - I saw him walk out and I was like, this is what I remember when he's dead. Is this this walk that he has with his head not up enough. - I didn't have it up enough. I think about it all the time. I should have had my head up more, but I was looking down. - When you die, I'll say that. I said it wasn't up enough. - Thank you. - I exhume him by the way. - That's what it meant. - Fuck my eyes. - I'll succeed, excuse me. - Fuck my eyes and make sure my head's up when you die. - And then yeah, when she walked out, I fucking lost it. - She kept it together. - Well, she don't like crying. So she escapes tears by making joke. - I only cried one time and it was during her speech. - Her speech was a, she had one. - She was so good. - Crazy line. - I was, I was adamant. I didn't choose a lot of what happened out the wedding. I was just like it, you know, do whatever. And then she was like, oh, should we do this? I was like, I try to make it as big as possible. But the one thing I was adamant, I was like, we gotta do our vows out loud. - Yeah. - The other thing, it's kind of beast. - It is beast. - And so I wrote mine and my whole thing, I was like, I just want to be sweet. I don't want to be funny. - Yeah. - I just want to be sweet. - Yeah. - So I did my vows, I thought my vows were pretty good. - They're good. - I spent a long time writing them. I was fucking, and then I saw this cool moment where I brought up how like whenever she wants to do a straight cat, she wants to take it home. And then a cat walked. - The cat was magical. - That was crazy. - I don't know if it was a cat. - Did you notice what the cat did? I actually became spiritual for a moment. - Oh yeah, it's children in front of my dad. - It went inside and in front of your dad's empty seat. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was like on, and then after it was done doing it, walked over to cutie's mom's. - It was like, it was crazy. - And then instead of it said, "Peace be with you, Bob." - I didn't say it was wearing a suit. - And then it got into the forehead, I did it, but I don't know. - And then it got into the forehead, and then the one to go. (laughing) - Wow. - That magical wet. (laughing) - And so I did my vows, and then she did her vows in like, fuck me. - Yeah. - Of course. - They were great, but after like maybe 15 people went up to me like, yeah, dude, her vows maged her's by the way. - I was like, okay. - Dude, oh my god, speaking of getting maged squeaks, I didn't see him for most of the weekend, until I think the day of the wedding. And, but I saw him in passing, and he was like, we kinda like our eyes met, and we just like looked at each other. And then he comes up to me, and he's like, oh, it was after my speech, came up to me. He's like, your speech fucking sucked by the way. And I'm like, that's the first thing you've said to me, and it was like, honestly, power moved by me. (laughing) - Yeah, he's right. - He's right. - He's right. - Yeah, he's right. - That was my first or actual speech day. - That's my first or actual speech day. - That was my first or my first diary entry, at least that she had. - It was like talking about like, she was like, you know, dear diary, like Ludwig is playing Mario Kart. - I cried less Saturday. - You cried Christians? - Christians were a dad stand-up set. - Christians was funny, bro. - Christians was great. - Christians was all I got to do. - Shout out second place. - What do you say? - What's the question count on? - There he goes. Yeah, so, Met Lud, we were like six and he didn't make our soccer team. We were young, which is funny because my dad was a coach, shout out, Bill. - Which kid? - Which kid? - Yeah. - And, you know, we went on the play where the championships didn't win. Shout out second place. - Yeah. - Dude, I mean, he was nervous. You guys were nervous too. - Let me tell you this, bro. It was, I was for a week before the wedding. I was like beside myself with anxiety. I didn't want to fuck it up. And I was nervous the whole time. I was really stressed out. - I could tell. When you two, too, because they gave us like fucking, like, voyeuristic chairs. - Yeah. - For your speech. - Close to the red carpet. - The setup was a little jank for ours. - Yes. - Because like, I got a little owned by the speakers. - Yes. - And it was like a little deep of a room. - Yeah. - But I was right there and I could see you guys both. You guys when you're doing it, fucking. - I was shaking. - No, I, yeah, I get like a, I was not mentally nervous at all. But I get like a physical reaction when I do speeches where I'm just, I can't not shake. I'm just like shaking the whole time. But I felt fine. I felt like totally comfortable. - That's what, it feels like so much worse when it was happening to you. Like, I thought I was shaking so bad that my voice was shaking and people like, weren't going to be able to understand the speech. - Who said you were really clear? - Who's a weird nurse guy? - Who's a weird fucking nurse guy? Who's a weird fucking nurse guy? - I was also a little sad because I had my whole speech memorized. And then after the wedding, I was, I remembered when you had told me you were going to get proposed. And I remembered that moment and I was like, oh, I'd like to add that in. And I'm not, I don't think I feel comfortable enough like free-balling when I put it in. So I'm going to write it in. And then I didn't have a way to print it because the fucking business center out of it. at the hotel, I had no one working it. I was like, "Fuck, I can't print it." I had to do everything I didn't want. I had to look at my phone. - Yeah, the phone. - Yeah, I made fun of Maya. I was like, "Oh, 'cause she did hers." Well, me and Maya's did hours on the wedding day. And before that, it was like this pre-dinner. It were a couple of people who did this. And Christian did his. And I was talking to Maya. I was like, "You're gonna read off the phone." You know, it's like, it's like minus a thousand aura. 'Cause I had my memorized. And then she's like, "Should I not? Is that bad?" I'm like, "Yeah." So she actually ended up printing it off, writing it, I forget. And then I, like Nick, forgot, it wanted to change mine, couldn't memorize it, pulled out the phone, looked like an asshole, and she mocked me. - Look, I had a funny moment with Tina Kitten where she came up to me, and she was like, "Hey, could you please send me a transcript of your speech?" And I was like, "Oh my God, it's so sweet." Of course, yeah, I'll do that after. But I'm like, "Yeah, did you like it?" She's like, "No, I just couldn't hear it." - God, that sounds like crazy. - I was like, "That's so sweet you wanted to read it though." - I was like, still sweet in a different way. - Yes. - Yeah, I'll say that too. - That's great. - No big deal. - It is for me. - And I was just, she's like, "Yeah, basically no one could hear it in the room." - No, the first room could. - There's the three rooms in the first one could hear it, and no one else could. - Hey. - And I was like, tough crowd, tough crowd. - I heard it bro. - I just keep it, let's keep it pushing. It was funny 'cause like, it's like that episode of Spongebob where like Squidward puts his tentacle out and no one says anything, and then Spongebob puts his hand out and the crowd goes wild. - Yeah. - That was me with saying Ludwig's fat. Like I would say something that I thought was like poetic and like put you guys framed you guys really well and crowd would be crickets. And then I would be like, and Ludwig's like insane weight is just getting out of control. And like it felt like everyone heard that. - I think yours was the funniest. I thought about about this. And I was like, there was a very clear cadence of keep bringing up Ludwig's weight in a very rhythmic way. Yeah, I was really honestly very special. - So he brought it up like maybe. - And so it was really special. And I thought it was really inspired, really. The way you just kept doing and adding on to the joke, great, it was great, man. - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, the serpent. - Wait, it burned. - It was sweet too. - Well, I think Nick's big problem is the very beginning of his speech relies heavily on like a set up. - A set up. - Oh, set up. - To the set. - Oh yeah, 'cause you're set up. - What's the Mormons in the audience? - I asked her, I was like about what percentage you're up before, and I was like what percentage you're voting to me more than she's like over half. And I was like perfect. And then I asked, do we have any Mormons in the room? One guy. - Woo, but they're all, and they're all sitting at the back where the speakers don't work. So none of them heard Nick say it. - I mean, I think also a lot heard it and didn't move. - And they were, I think they were, yeah, they were just like, don't get me involved with this guy. (laughing) And I'm like fair enough, fair enough. So I had to flip. - The guy was a full slush. - Oh, he's foolish. - Zipper said it was full slush. - Oh, he had a fucking edible arrangement. (laughing) - Oh my God. - He lived with you, bro. - Yeah, but I had to flip you. - Oh, it's gonna be really easy, that thing. - Wait, is it not? Are you supposed to say letter believers in Latter-day Saints and not. - Yeah, I don't know if they would self-identify as Mormon anymore. That's also true. - LDS. - Hey, any LDS in here? - Any LDS. - LDS is, Mormon is the not bejorative, but like. - Yeah. - Simplified. - Yeah, just crude. - Just crude. - The crude way to refer to members of the IMS attack. - So you feel, we didn't take it seriously, but we made up for our faux pas with our speech. - Yeah, your speech is great. - Speech is great. Well, first off, what do you mean? I don't think you guys had a 15 minute diet about the Orp. - The Orp didn't fucking bother anyone. We went to get the Orp, we included P in the Orp, see? - Yeah. - Why I don't wanna bring it up? It's wanna fucking pull me back in. - And you had a flawless wedding because of the Orp, but I don't think the Orp. - You're not even thanking the Orp. This is why you'll be punished. - That did that. Hey, it wasn't the Orp, that did that. - Bye everyone. - Bye everyone. It's time for me to go. - Dude, so we're all at the brunch place the day after the wedding. And that's where we're being dicted our speeches and let it jaguars there. - So I'm, so I'm's girlfriend is there in this very, like, sort of like profession, riding the line between like, you know, nice and professional sort of dress. - It's gray, we matched. - We were gray. - And she has this pin of a jaguar. - It's a brooch. - A brooch. - A brooch is cutie thrifted like 50 broaches and then gave all the men in the wedding a ensemble of broaches. She spent like two nights, which coming up with everyone. And you got a jaguar. - Yeah. - That's one of your broaches. - Did you return the jaguar? - No, well, she, I was told. I was told, 'cause duties like, all right, get, extend all your broaches back to Ludwig unless you want to keep them. - Yes. - And I was like, I'm keeping the jaguar. - Well, no, it was funny, 'cause that message, if I remember, came from Ludwig. And he was like, guys, we need the broaches back. Like, we gotta get them back. In case you really, unless you really want to keep one. It was framed like to keep one is kind of a, you're taking it from cutie. Like, I don't, like cutie wants all of them. And I still, despite this said, I gotta keep one, I want to keep one. So I kept one. And then I gave him to cutie and I was like, hey, I've got, here are your broaches back. I'm sorry, I kept one, I wanted to keep one. She was like, oh, you want to keep all of them? It's totally fine, I don't care. And I was like, oh, it's really, Ludwig maybe seemed like you really wanted all of them. - It did feel like that. - She was like, so weird. I did not ask that for all of them. - I love what he does that, let me say, she's so brave of you. - Fucking Ludwig. - She was like, I'm so glad he had been so weird. - We could fat dump him. I only dump her. - She just wanted to make sure that if someone kept the broaches, they wanted to keep him as opposed to like, forgetful, just like have him, but no, ever use them. - We got, so I try to make it seem like, oh, if you really like it, keep it. Cause then you'd be like, oh, I actually do really like this, as opposed to like, this is whatever. - Yeah. - It's an insane amount of compliments on them. I was like, every person that came up to me, it was like, these are so cool. - Yeah, we had just got them that day. - So anyway, he got a jacket, I just mine, and before me, my rover went to brunch, I pinned it on her, and I'm like, you wear this now. And she arrives, and I immediately create a character named Lady Jaguar, and she's very well connected. - And we tried to call you the Jaguar, and you kept correcting everyone and saying, I'm the prey. - Yeah. - I'm purely jaguar. - I'm the prey. - And she's just like, doesn't care about me. - I'm stuck. - I'm really pushing this whole system. - Guys, I just sent a message to the whole business of the yard using Quo that said, if you are fat, do not show up to the podcast today. And because of how well Quo works for business communications, that message seems to have gotten through. And that's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. That spelled Q-U-O, and it's the smarter way to run your business communication. See, when I said that if your BMI passes 30, to the Quo chat, it not only went to a place where they can sync all their communications, whether or not it's a phone number, whether or not it's an email, whether or not it's like a Slack, it centralizes everything. So, Aiden, someone who only checks one, love it, who only checks his number, slime, it only checks Discord. They were all able to receive the Quo message about their weight and how they should not show up to the podcast because of the weight. And they immediately got the message and didn't come. My team handles all of our calls and texts from one shared number, and that's why they didn't arrive today. And it's extremely easy. And over 90,000 businesses from solo operators to growing teams all use it. So, you're clearly seeing how effective it is. And if you want to get involved with using Quo, money's on the line. So, you can always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus, get 20% off your first six months when you go to Q-U-O dot com slash the yard. That's Q-U-O dot com slash the yard. And I'll tell them, if you're an unreliable, backstabbing friend who steals all your Golden Bricks and Lego party, you can come back. Maybe we'll come back. You and Q-U were sitting at a different table. Like, there's all these other tables over the room. And we were in our booth for a while because the line to get food was right in front of us. So, we finally get up. And then, slime begins to like show her around the room and introduce her to different groups of tables. Like, came up to you and Q-U-O, it's like, this is Lady J. And everybody has to like engage with the bit. Like, oh, it's so nice to meet you. She did shake hands. Yeah, you know. She went, she went, she went, correct. She went, correct. And like random people who haven't been at her table for the past 45 minutes are listening to slime go, I'm her prey. Oh, and I'm the prey. Dude, dude, it was, I think it was fan fan and Emily came up to me and my girlfriend. We were waiting in line. And she's like, I'm sorry, are you, are you slime's girlfriend? And she's like, yeah. And they were like, we have been watching you all weekend. We just didn't believe that you and him were together. And I'm just smiling. I'm just like, cut. What can you say? You're like touching the orb, like, talent. (laughing) What do you, like, do you smell like the orb? You know, they're just kind of ultimately really flattering her. And I'm just, I love being this. I've been this guy most of my life, I feel like, where I've kind of just pulled higher than I should be and I just get to like, do a cool dance and have an accordion and like, yeah, I guess, I guess I'm the fuck with you. Yeah, I feel like just standing there in like giorg mode. Yeah. (laughing) I just move out. I just burp really. I'm smiling. I'm fun to be around. [LAUGHTER] - Yeah. - I'm just a fucking delight. (laughing) - You're just fucking delight. - You're putting all the butter. - You're scooping the buffet food in your hand. (laughing) - Oh, her? - Yeah, no. - I'm a prey. - Like scooping out your suit to put it on. - I'm Ellie, I'm Ellie Jaguarpoff a few years ago. (laughing) - And I've always been preyed. (laughing) - But yeah, I mean, fucking, it was definitely top then. - Dude, shut the fuck up, bro. - Can I say one of my highlights of the weekend was going to that fucking arcade. I had a blast at that arcade. - Oh, yeah. - That arcade was lit. - There was like a weird amount of yard fans at the arcade, and one guy came up to me. I was in the middle of playing deathball. My new favorite arcade game. - Deathball's fire. - Dude, I was having so much fun playing deathball. And I'm sitting there, and a guy comes up and he's like, "I'm so sorry to bother you." And he puts his hand out like this. And I just do this. And he goes, "Gaming's on me." And he drops like 200 quarters in my hand. And I'm like, "I just receive his load." - His boon. - I receive his boon. And I'm like, and I was like, "Thank you." - And then he disappeared into the crowd of Gothins. (laughing) And it was free deathball the rest of the day. - Yeah. - Dude, I do think there is a big yard cohort in its ex-mormons. - Dude. - That's what I noticed being there. I was like, I think there's such an extreme like religious center in Utah that the alt scene is like aggressive. Like, there was like-- - Yeah, I feel the same way. - There was like teens with like, like movie Goths and like movie Goths. - We're definitely back there. - Everyone's smoking sigs. There's like teenagers laying down on the concrete and like laughing and like playing little game. And I was just like, "This is so overkill." It was sweet, 'cause they were all having so much fun. But I was just like, "Oh wow, it's like so much more aggressive than LA." There's weird playing killer queen at the arcade. - Fun game. - Such if you guys have not played killer queen to find an arcade that has it, bring four friends. - Killer queen and Rip. - It is so fun. Ludwig is piloting us 'cause we're all so stupid about how to play. - My team is somidious. - Yeah, we were bad. - I put Nick on queen, Nick started getting hella aggro. He died three times. He was like, "What?" - Dude, I mean, I know all the rules of killer queen. I just haven't seen him before. And I was like, I started getting the hang of it. - I'm going to get the orbs. - Once I realized you could go from being like a, whatever they're called, a henchman to being a warrior, I was farming their queen. But the other team is also a bunch of chuds, but one guy who's clearly really good at killer queen. And every time we would play a game winner or lose, he would put a quarter on our side. And there was an etiquette that none of us understood. Because we thought it was when we won, they were paying for the next game. Or when we lost, they were like saying we want to play again. And he kept putting quarters and I was like, "What is going on?" And then I went over and Shakhtar was like, "You want to play me in Mortal Kombat?" And I'm like, "Sure." And Shakhtar was farming me in Mortal Kombat. And I'm trying to figure him out 'cause he looked up all the combinations. I don't know any of the combinations. - Do you remember which Mortal Kombat it was? - Was it a 2D1 or 3D1? - I think it was MK2. - Okay. - It was 2D. And he's farming me. And this guy kept coming over. And he was doing, I'm not even like, he was doing this. You put a quarter down, you go like this. And then he would run away. And I'm like, "Oh, that guy wants snacks." He put a quarter down. And so we'd finish our game and we'd look around and the guy's not there. - Was it another boon? - It was, I thought maybe it was a boon. And I was like, interesting, one quarter boon. So interesting. But then he'd come over and he'd put five down. And he'd do the same thing, he kept leaving. And I'm like, "What's going on?" So eventually, I had to catch him. He was trying to do it again like five minutes later. And I turned around, I caught them. I'm like, catch him. I'm like, "Tell me, what is your etiquette, man?" What is it? And he goes, he shrugs, he goes, and then he ran away. And I was like, "Do you like the yard?" And he's like, "I don't know what that is." And he just left. - I don't believe him. - And he was just a man. - What if it's just a man who wants to fuck him? - Going around, was it a. - Maybe trying to fuck me or shake drizzle, but really just giving people free play. - Yeah. - Well, he's not free play. He wants to little play himself. - I think he wants a little bit of it. - He wants to little play himself. - Well, I found out from the killer queen that the killer queen is a game that requires a lot of people to play. Like, because you can have eight, can't you? - We can have 10. - Oh wow. - You can have up to 10 people playing. - Up to 10 and the game is best when it's full. - It is better when it's full. And so we had a full cab and they just wanted us to stay. - Keep playing. - Yes, yeah. - And I think the guy on there said, "I want us to stay." And so afterwards, I just returned all the coins. - Yeah. - Big positive here. Have your coins back. - Yeah. - I'm okay, paying. We had fun playing. - Yeah. - But that's what he told me. He was like, "Yeah, we just wanted you guys to keep playing." - Oh, okay, okay, okay. That makes sense. - That's cool. - But he's stressed, he's stressed about the wedding. - I was very not stressed at all now. The only thing I was stressed about was nailing the vows, but I'd done like a decent enough job writing them that I think I knew 'em. And then the dance. - The dance. - How'd the dance look? - Oh, you guys have nailed it, man, right? - That looks like a movie. - She fucked it up horribly. - Did she? God bless my wife. - It was really cute because you were counting her steps. - Yeah, yeah. - And I was like, "Oh, he's counting for us." - Wait, sweet. She fucking up, it looked good. - Yeah, just so off count. And it's just Sasha, and she's pulling away. What is that about? - It's a box stepping the left foot on my left foot. Uh-oh, where have I get there? - It didn't realize she was like, "Clubs." - Oops. - She could like to read it. - Well, she did her dance with her dad, which she probably tripled the amount of time working on then our first dance. - Dude, I missed this. - Dude, oh my. - Describing her dance with her dad, it was so funny 'cause no one believed me. 'Cause everyone had, like, it was announced that it was gonna happen. - Amazing, yeah. - So like, my girlfriend ate it like so many people or just, they're getting photos taken, they're not in the room, whatever. And they come back and they're like, "Oh, we missed anything." And I was like, "Um, yeah, cutie's dad." And her did the entire Napoleon Dynamite dance. And they did a costume change where they were wearing the boots as well. And they did the whole thing to completion. And they were like laughing. And I'm like, "No, that happened." And they were like, "Why did we miss that?" - It was crazy, bro, 'cause it was his idea. He wanted to do it, and I, yeah, I don't know how the normal cadence of a wedding goes, but we did the mother sun dance, and then we did the first dance. And then she did her dance with her father, later she needs to change her fit to do it. And so yeah, it happened like randomly 30 minutes later. And it starts and it's like, "Here comes the sun." And they're doing like, "Here comes the sun." And then it switches to. - Yeah, he and he by Jameera Quay. He found out, by the way, the huge Connor Lord drop. He's the biggest Jameera Quay fan of all time. - Yeah, it's like his most listen. - He couldn't stop talking about Jameera Quay. I'm a little first in him. We talked about the band and the man and the giant hat. Talked about how some of his songs are good. And I'd be like, "Do Cosmic Girls suck?" He'd be like, "What are you talking about?" - Yeah, you were reading the lyrics of Cosmic Girl in him. And he was going, but his performance of it. (laughing) - I'd never met a guy who liked Jameera Quay that much. - Very awesome. - Very interesting, yeah, let's do it. - And then yeah, they'd been practicing. Like, he would come over and he would practice. And it was funny 'cause before we got to the wedding, she was like, "Yeah, he's so much better than me. I have to practice." And so she's putting a lot of time in front of TV. She showed me like every night. And then I've seen them dance for the first time and like, he was ass. - He was ass. - And it's just, I think it's his old guy syndrome. - That's why I thought she begged to him to do it. - No, she clearly knew it. And he kind of was like following her. - Yeah, it's funny because he had put a lot of time into it, but like, he's not a showman. So it's like, he would always, I think, look at the phone or the TV that he had it on. - We had a reference. - Yeah, yeah. There's a, 'cause the, you can't do the Napoleon Dynamite dance from the movie, because it's cut, yes. - It's cut, yes, yeah. - So there's a version of it on YouTube that this woman made, that's like pretty good. But it's really fast. - I see. - I get it. - So they used an alternate version of the song. It felt slightly different in the movie. - No, I think it's the same version, was it? - Yeah. - I think it's cut around the song. - But yeah, it's maybe different timing. - You know what's funny, I actually missed it because I was like, Peter went outside to go smoke cigarettes. And I immediately, I'm like, you know, I smoke like a couple cigarettes a year, but I go and find zipper. And I'm like, we're smoke cigarettes with Peter. Let's go. - Oh yeah. - We actually ended up mostly doing that for a while. - Yeah, that's all right, dude. That's a freaking, it's a good, great experience. Have it the wedding. - It was a great, oh my God, Christian's mom. - What was that? What was that? - What? - What you just did? - I mean, Christian's mom. - There's no follow of thought. - I couldn't get her away from me. - What? - Mrs. B, Mrs. B was all over him. - No, that's not true. - Mrs. B. - Eric will fucking kill you, bro. - Eric will fucking kill you, you shouldn't know that. - She was really, really sweet. It was funny, 'cause I kept just saying, I was like, I want you to know, I love your son. I am so happy when he is around. You raised a man that I am excited to see whenever he is around, and she just goes, she is concerned, though. She does want us to find out my girlfriend. - Yes, that was actually the first, one of the first things she said to me. - She said it to me too, she's concerned. - It's funny because it came up a lot. - It came up a lot. - Fuck you, we got it. - I was like, I was like, oh, it was exciting for you when like, a little bit reached out, and then he went and like, he took this job and moved LA. And she went, you didn't have to find a girl. (laughing) You didn't even address what I said. - Yeah. - She's a, I want grandkids, mom. - Yeah. - Yeah. - She was so excited to talk about it. - I was like, I was like, oh, was exciting for you. And like, a little bit reached out. And then he went, like, he did this job and moved LA. You didn't even have to address what I said. - It's a stupid one. - It's a stupid one. - It's a stupid one. - It's a stupid one. - It's a stupid one. - It's a stupid one. - It's a stupid one. - It's a - Yeah. - Is it okay? - Yeah, that's fine. - It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I guess my phone's off. I guess my phone's not working. Uh oh, Ridge, you know, Ridge, they solved the wallet problem and now they're solving the phone battery problem. That's right, Ridge is here to solve the phone charging problem for y'all with the Ridge power bank. See, the Ridge power bank, uh oh, it detaches. It has MagSafe wireless charging and an Apple Watch charger, lightning and USB-C. And guess what? I just found out after toying with it for a little bit. Yep, I played with it. Oh, it's got a kickstand. And with built-in cables wireless charging and 20 watts of power and a 10,000 milliamp battery, you can get up to three full phone charges anytime. Available in Phantom, Burgundy, Matt Olive, which is what I have here, Basecamp Orange and Matt Black. And if you want to get a Ridge power bank, you can find Ridge's power bank at Best Buy and Amazon. Any of the big corporations, really, and head to Ridge.com/theard for Ridge's friends and family sale, I consider you my friend, where you can buy two Ridge power banks and get a third one for free, if you've got someone in your life, if you've got a third in your life to play with, that's Ridge.com/theard. Shop smart this holiday season with Ridge, and after you purses, please support our show and tell them that we sent you, uh oh, going back on. When I got the watches, I was going to Uber back and then I saw a fucking car accident. And I was like, I don't want to get in the Uber. And so then I took the train back. But then I was on the train and I was like, this is too much money and watches. - The drivers. - The drivers in Salt Lake City. Worse than the drivers in LA. I'm going to fucking say it. - Ridiculous. - Holy fuck. - Ridiculous thought. - A cop nearly killed us. - You know Wilshire Boulevard has more deaths than any street in America. - Not that street in Salt Lake City in the center of the town. That cop tried to kill me. - Yeah, that was scary. I'll give you that. - It was unbelievable. - Did you hear about the secret drama at the hotel room? Apparently Joe Rogan was there and Kulio was there. There were a lot of people there in Salt Lake of-- - You're the wedding. - There at the wedding. - Joe Rog was there. - Yeah, got Joe Kuljay was there. - And there's apparently some sort of fight. - It was dead, right? - No, he was there. - No, Elok Kuljay was there. - Elok Kulio's dead. - Oh, I mixed up my Elok Kuljay. - Kulio passed away a few years ago, there was some peace Kuljay because the UFC event was happening that weekend in Salt Lake. And then a bunch of people that are working the UFC or fighting were staying in the same hotel. - Yeah, I mean, it's like a nice hotel. - I heard through the grapevine that Hassan was on an elevator and he was going up and someone's approaching to get on the elevator. Hassan holds the door. It's Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan looks, sees it's Hassan. Waits for the next one. - Next elevator. - I also heard this. - We hear this. - We just heard this. - And he goes, he goes, I'm you from the left. (laughing) - Scootish, Scootish was talking about how he was in the lobby and he saw Joe Rogan again later. And he can see, he's not like a fan of the show or anything. He's just like, oh yeah, I recognize the guy. But everybody else in the hotel lobby is like turning to see Joe Rogan as he walks through the room, right? - That's the guy from view factor. - And then, and then Scootish, he's just seen like the room dead silent as he like walks through everybody and he just yells across the room. Joe, love the podcasts. (laughing) And Joe, he said, Joe turned around like a kid on Christmas morning and said, thank you. - Wow. - And then just kept walking out the building. - He's just, that boy Scootish cannot be stopped. - No, he's, we were at the airport. I'm off one hour asleep on the last day. Our flight was at like 4 a.m. I went to bed at three. I'm very tired. Scootish talks a little bit loud. So I'm in the Uber with him and I'm like, "Dude." (laughing) - I'm like, shut the fuck up. (laughing) - Well, my girlfriend just fully entertaining. So I'm just sitting there like this. (laughing) But we get to the airport. And on our flight, randomly is Tricia Patis. - Really? - Yeah, it was not at the wedding. - Also at the wedding, yeah. (laughing) - There's the tables, Joe, Tricia. - That's cool, Jess. - Scootish probably, 'cause Swedish works for wine about it. Immediately goes, I'm gonna book her. - That would be so be. - Goes over? - Books her. - Whoa! - Books her. - That's a hard work. - Goes over. He's like, oh my god, hi, I'm such a fan. I work for wine about it. Like we'd love to have you on. She's like, and she knew what it was. - Yeah. - And she was like, "Can you make a cake for her?" - Yeah. - What? - He said he got her. - Can you make a cake for her child, I think. - Dude, that's crazy. - It's not a cake. - And I was like, all is, you're loud voice in the airport is all forgiven, 'cause I was like, - Yeah, that's peace. - Can I ask you guys an etiquette question? Okay, let's say you're at one of your best friends, weddings, and he's getting married to the woman he's been with for a long time. - Right, I'm gonna have to go. - And she has herself made a giant 11 tiered wedding cake, and that is their wedding cake. And you notice that the wedding cake is slanted to the left a little bit. And she comes up to you. This person who is very detail oriented and she comes up to you and says, "Is that cake slanted? I feel like it's slanted." - Oh, do you lie? - What do you, how do you open? - Yeah. - How do you open? - Do you lie out your teeth? No, no, no, no, can you give me an angle? Can you, I think when you convince her, it's not slanted. - What did you do? - I said, yeah, it's a little slanted. - That was the right way. - Really? - Yeah. - 'Cause I didn't know. I didn't know if I should be like, - Oh! - She is the type of detail oriented person where she knows it's slanted. - Yes. - So it's just offering an opportunity to lie to her which she would know immediately. - Either you say no, it's not slanted, but you have to come off dumb enough to believe that. - Yes, I sometimes you run that. - Which I do that. - No, it's fun. No, it's good. And you're just like, you're such an idiot. - I do that. - I'm like, I do that, I mean it. - No, it's fucking awesome. - I don't see, that cake. - It's very nuanced. I think, I think, me and cutie have the type of trust where like, if it's only a little, I think I could convince her the floor is slanted. I could be like, no, it's an illusion. The floor is just a little slanted. And I can make her feel it. - It's actually, yeah. - The cake is so tall that it starts to bend 'cause it hurts the circle. - Yeah, yeah. - But the cake, I'm like, doing this type of shit, I'm like, yeah. - It was barely noticeable. - I'm like, cake slanted, it's curved. - I didn't notice it. - Curved less. - I mean, I noticed it right when she said it, but otherwise I wasn't looking for slanted cake. - Yeah. - Well, I did lean on it, but it might be a little slanted. - I mean, I pushed it, but I thought it was the other way. - I pushed it, yeah. - Dude, it was such, she was making the cake in the house and she like bought a freezer and it was like in two pieces 'cause it doesn't fit in a freezer. - Yeah, it's fucking huge. - And it's like one of those like, like coffin freezers, whatever, like in a garage, usually with a bunch of meat, if you hunt elk. - Will they put dead people in movies? - Yes, and so I had to, but we had to put the cake in the freezer like after it was done. It was so fucking stressful. Because it's like, it's so heavy. And we're trying to do it to people, but to people don't really get in that way. - Was it you in Christian? - It was me in cutie. - Oh. - And so then I was soloing it. And I was just like, I was like, I can't, 'cause then we did the night before and I touched a little bit of it. And she's like, I'm just fine. She has to fix it. It was probably the most stressful part of the wedding for me. - You fucking lung head. You touched the cake. - My fucking lung head. - I was a fucking lung head, but I clashed it. I clashed it. - All right. So yeah, Thorn definitely being trapped in that little ass room. - Okay. - I thought the room was fun. And the rose was getting squeaks to be nice to me after he was mean to me. - That's the rose? - No, it's not the rose. - That's the best part of the wedding? - I mean, the best part of the wedding, you know, was you dancing with your mom if you want to be sentimental about him. That was really, that really touched my heart. But the more selfish one is when people would come up to me after and say how awesome my speech was, 'cause I thought I fucked it up really bad. I was just like, I fucked it up. I fucked it up. I fucked it up. I think I fucked it up. And he'd be like, no, you didn't. And it's like this pathetic interaction happened like 15. - I'm sure. - Oh, I saw. - No, you look so good. You look so good and big. - Yeah, that's a good smell. We couldn't see it. But it felt like enough people came up that I was like, okay, maybe I'm being an idiot and I just accepted that. - I actually learned such a valuable lesson in that exact thing in my life. I walked away with a lesson where I was like, 'cause I walked off and I was like, oh, a speech bomb, that's fine. And then I was like, I'll just, you know, I'll add my life and, you know, and no one will remember it, isn't it? And the last thing I did was terrible. But like so many people came up and like shook my hand. I remember like, do I love your speech. That I was like, oh, I now believe that. And enough people said it where I believed it. That was like, oh, it wasn't that, it was fine. And I was like, I need to tell more people in my life when they do a good job. - Yes. - Because I don't realize how often people think they're doing a bad job when they're not. I carried that with me. - That's why when Ludwig makes his way up to top lane and he throws a bandage out and we get that guy, I say, fucking, excellent, Goon, bro. - You just want us again. - Fucking winning quickshops. - I make sure to say things like that. - No, wait a minute. - Even if you're, you know, you that. - That's different though, 'cause that's a bit self-serving. 'Cause you want me to go top again. - No, not necessarily. And I genuinely mean this. I'm just glad you came. - But like people don't think it's speech 'cause they're like, by the way, I have a wedding coming up. - No, no, no, I'm saying I don't want you to come top again. - You came top the first time. That's all I can ask is top lane. - What I'm saying is it'd be different if it's more like if I ganked and you're not in the game. - What do you mean? - It's more impactful. - So like I'm not in the game but I'm watching you and I go, great come bro. - That was a great gank for me. - That was a great gank. No, well not for you anymore. - You erupted. - You erupted in a very visual way. - That was a part of that. - Well, I enjoyed watching the eruption. - But if I erupt for you, it's very different. - Yeah, I think, I guess you're right. But let's say. Let's say I'm a top layer your bottom way you go and you do his crazy play I was a couch and I'm watching and I go you fucking so big for me fucker good for me, bro Kind of but then also then then you're like yeah, you're fucking big for me Be my bowl and carry this game so that's also what you're saying, but I think my heart's the right place Yeah, yeah, I think your heart's on the right place. You know as hard wasn't the right place 11 sharp Day I said what happened and all day and also, you know Is he stayed on his he stayed on his call for an extra 10 minutes anyway. I got here. We wait I'm waiting episode you can't talk about being late, but it is but So he won Lego party. I have a complaint. I have a complaint. Oh what happened last night. I what we play Lego party I wiped the floor with all of you. I have never seen someone win a party game without winning a single mini game I don't have ever seen I'm insanely easy. Oh my god, I don't even have to try and after that I I start getting ready for bed. You know, I'm going around my apartment I checked my phone one last time before going to sleep. I see that the call is still active Oh my god. There's a couple notifications and for those who don't know we have a sacred chat We have a very sacred chat. It's the it's the yard. It's just the four of us. We've had it for a long time It's a sacred place. There's a long message history a lot of costs a lot of and and I look I look at the two latest notifications from the group Ludwig has added Shakedra whistle Following Ludwig has added super T as you know, it was for two are sacred space Go listen to the reaction on the stream. We went you can't We're like shake. Don't look your name. It's Peter teal can read everything we've ever written. Why can't shake Joseph? Because Peter Teal will live forever Cyborg Peter Teal will own will own our body. I did not realize it was that chat. So I just added him I thought it was like a new chat. I also didn't realize But it's fine. Did you look up shake was there anything even there? No, I don't think no, we don't I don't think we talk about shake, but yeah, so I have ten fattest friends of ours Coming in at number three. Number three is burger shame I Basically, I begged the guys to play Lego party and we finally got it all together But let Aiden was late because this was last night you're hearing this episode a little bit after that Aiden was late because he went to Michael's for some sort of gay fabric and then got pulled over to a cop pulled two guys over at once Oh my god, you're so pathetic for that. Well, this is also why Nick is the only one doing the ad reads for this episode Nick lost Lego party last Proclaimed good at party game guy got ten Dirty butthole last I have so many more golden bricks Yes, and it's the golden bricks that you want. So I don't know why he wasn't going for more of those because it's a good point I won't be rocked by this Well, it doesn't matter if you'll be rocked or not. You're going to be rocked a lot of the results What can I say the best player one best player one evidence supports it There was a moment where it's like bonus stars. It's like at the beginning of the game You can select how many bonus stars happen at the end and Aiden said 10. Yeah, Aiden goes 10 Then I'm gonna max amount like love really and he's like 10 bonus stars great It's Aiden's turn Aiden's sitting on the couch like You're so really dice and luds like do you want to consider an item maybe He's literally oh my whatever I was also rolling around and it's fucking great. I was helping people Ain't also he instead of playing in the set-up is at the office He went to his house home Played on a big TV on a steam machine with Huawei earbuds that sounded fucking terrible Look at me these guys watch the vibe. I'll see you. They'll see the video. It'll be a fucking fan of the annual games I love it, but you you guys made me feel better after mine. Let me tell you we should have done and next time we should do rental fortune You keep talking about now for rent though. I want to play it once it because the I think the issue with Lego party is if we did into the 10 bonus stars It's just a skill gap. I Don't I don't think like I think me and Nick of the 12-in-a-games won like Ted we split we split a lot of them. I think I'd sandbag most of them Yeah, you're sandbagging for sure because you're thinking about like I need to roll fours. Yeah, because most fours And you're like two three. Yeah, what's the next one? That was like I would fucking pay to listen to these thoughts. Oh Do I want to go to candy man? I can have candy if I go with that guy guy who was like what if I build extreme? That's a real question You missed the fucking jump. Yeah. Oh my god. It was actually is actually a game losing jump. Yeah, party game with latency I'm not used to that. I gotta use to that. Oh latency online. That's how it is host gap. Anyway, we'll do the next annual game gaming session I did call it the the yard the Lego party classic. Yeah, what inspired you You know it was funny. So you know the guy I got in that big street fighter argument with lutee lute Yes, so we ended up becoming friends and I watch him play I watch him stream sometimes and he plays league He's like a challenger fizz player So I'm watching a professional at the game and he's streaming and he talks of it Someone comes into his chat and like dude. I fucking wipe the floor and Lego party last night and he starts going off But how Lego party is fun? And I said well, I trust this gamer and I trust his recommendations And so the next in an hour. I said to you guys. I want to play Lego party if I was it. That's actually. Oh, okay That's the only reason and what's your thoughts now? That's okay. It's fun. Yeah, it's cute Lego party's a great game. I as a party game guy connoisseur. I think it's a great game I think that map is an insta band in the future. He did say it was a load to your map. That map is bad I didn't know the loop the loop incentivizes the worst game play loop of all time. Yeah, you don't really Go to extreme land and maybe get a free brick if you roll perfect and win the quick time You should get like three for that the only value of going out is getting Like like studs to come back Because you can't sit in the center the whole time. I think this is gonna be controversial in this room 12 rounds is not enough rounds for that game Oh, I disagree. I think you want. I hate that it did it jump from 12 to 24. Is that what I saw? No, no, you could do Was it like an 18 16? I think you could do there's one in between. I would I would rip like a 16 18 something like that Well, it's boring as fucking that game. Yeah, no cool items I also found out that stud is a is also a term for a black mask lesbian anyway guys. That's the art Thank you for tuning in and that was my actually I watched the juice like I kept saying stud in like bowl. I kept like really good having in the juice key dating show a lot of studs Okay, yeah, well if you're a stud out there Sign up first link the Lego party classic. It's coming around. It's open bracket this time That's gonna be the episode. We're going to get into the premium wait wait Can I do my rosebud thorn of the wedding? Yes, please, please sir. I will start with the thorn Which for me, don't say the or you know, it wasn't the or rumors Yes, I mean that is just the late does the lightweight the label and outside of that they did also run out of liquor except for tequila Haha, you could tell from if you talked to Christian for five minutes. What? My rose was seeing my are actually probably hearing all the speeches. I would say the conglomeration of all this including Qt's vows Speeches of my rose in my bud is one more fucking night Hmm One more fucking night one more night. What is that? What is that? Really? I'm just what you look forward to. It's what you look forward. Yeah That's a better stamp. Do you look forward to just one more night? One more fucking night one out too Cuz you can only go one night. You can only take it at night. You can only take it at a time I didn't know that all we can hope for ourselves one more night. I got mine real quick then Thorn was catching the Utah virus This I have been writhing around every night and waking up in pain. It sucks. I'm so sick Um The the rose was getting to spend time in Utah with cuties Cinderella I think I I got to see a side of her. I've never gotten to see before She felt so happy and at peace and with her friends that she's known her whole life and it felt so like I feel like sometimes she can she describes feeling a little out of place in LA I haven't understood it But seeing her there. I'm like oh I get it. It's been nice. I liked Utah so much. I was like top five state for me now Uh Bud is Whoever gets married next I'm excited to go to that event. Yeah. Well you better start fucking Conditioning. I'm gonna train. I'll be training to better start training. He's he's longing for it. I'm I'm training I would love I would I would fucking smoke you. Oh my god. What is your rose blood? Thorn bro. I did yours already right Oh, yeah, I don't have a bud. My bud is um I'm excited to see What what cracks off for the Ludwagonder in cuties and rally universe I'm excited to see what your future holds because I saw it all in the orb so Okay, I'm excited to watch it play out. I already know what you're the multiverse is are we in? uh My rose was the I think if the the space between the like food at dinner where you could just get up and go, I felt like I was in a room filled with like people I love from all these different like parts of my life. And you could kind of like hop from person to person and like see how they were enjoying this like very beautiful evening. - That's when I insulted Tim. - That's when you get to do things like that. - Because there was a freedom in what you could choose to do at that time. - And that was what was beautiful in the options. - My thorn, ooh, probably, dirty soda, just not a thing for me. - Dude, it was so good. - What a thorn. - You're an idiot. - I wanna, it's just not for me. - It's just not for me. - It's your thorn. - Holy shit, that pissed me off. - That's fucking tilting. - Damn, I'm with you. - You just don't listen. - Did you have a coconut after pepper? - Oh. - Yeah, okay. - Yeah. - Can I get that raspberry sprite? What the fuck would he even hold for? - Sorry, your thorn. - I mean, just a state that's kind of bonus bricks. - I should just drink some coffee or whatever. (laughing) - Oh, secondary rose is when Aiden coaxed the stray cat. He made friends with that baby cat. - Oh. - It was cute. - Hello, cat. - And the cat came and was nice to him. It was very cute. - And your bud. - And my bud. - It made me excited to get married. - Oh, man. - It made me, it made me, it genuine. It was the first, I think it was the first wedding. I've been to where I was like really, really excited and envisioning like, oh, how can I make something that's like even comparable to this wedding and like have all these people together. - A little word of advice. - Maybe excited for that. - I enjoy it. You never get to get it back. - Yeah. - Yeah, man. Awesome. - So. - Well, I hope that helps. - I think it was beautiful. I think you're beautiful. - I think you're sexually attractive. - Me, my wife. - Sorry. (laughing) - Oh, you can rip that now. - All right, guys, well, again, it's a black mask lesbian, isn't that fun? - Okay. - All right. - We'll see you in the next video. - See you in the bonus episode. - I won't, I actually won't be there. - Goodbye.