Ep 271: Separating The Art From The Sandwich Artist

This is an I Heart Podcast, guaranteed human. November is pancreatic cancer awareness month. And I want to tell you about my brother David, a podcast that documents my brother's journey with this disease. The experience of pancreatic cancer patients goes under the radar. Dr. Calciby, but just because we die so fast. Let's change the pancreatic cancer narrative and turn sympathy into survival. Listen to my brother David on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's all just a joke. What is the value of these women? I'm Bridget Armstrong, back with season two of the podcast, Curse of Miss America. We're talking to participants, whistleblowers, and people who say Miss America didn't live up to their promises. He looks and he goes, "You don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder." I never received scholarship. I need to pay for my student loans. Maybe this is the meta question for the podcast. What is Miss America at this point? Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. There are thousands of podcasts that can tell you how to better yourself. Get worse with Kyle Peru is not one of those podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making your better, getting closure, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. If you're interested in Blackmail, love, bomb, and cloning yourself or getting revenge, then we've got a little something-something for a dastardly individual like you. Listen to Get Worse with Kyle Peru on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Darrell Bell. And I'm Codame Harrison. And together, we're the voices behind the newest podcast on the Black Effect Podcast Network, a different world view with Darrell and Codame. Each Thursday, we're rewatching an episode of the show that changed our lines a different world. We're sharing never before her stories from behind the scenes and sitting down with other stars from the show to hear their unique perspectives. Listen to a different world view with Darrell and Codame every Thursday, from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of I Heart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important. Today on This Is Important, I eat a foot long veggie. Fuck with me. That's the kind of show where you have to watch it bend over the ottoman to hide your boner. You know, they established that the food pyramid is absolute bullshit. Let's go! (singing) What's up, my little panda? Panda! Panda, panda, panda, panda! What is a panda? Baby. Panda, panda, panda. This is not a sponsor. How have they not made that commercial? This is not sponsored. I'm so, well, it is sponsored. It's just Panda Express. It's literally, we're not getting paid for it, but it's, correct. Yeah. This is free marketing right here, people. Yeah. Well, we talked about Panda Express, which I'm gonna keep talking about it. Yeah, and then they gave us this code. And I also have a code, but it's not with me right now, which is a bummer. I love Panda Express so much. I'm not being paid to say this. I love it. But when's the last time you've had it? Well, the cat's out of the bag. They gave us a gift card. Yeah, and you use it already? 50 bucks? Yeah. Oh, you good? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, big ups, big ups. A Panda Express fairly close to your house. Without a gift card, I've been there in the last month by myself. Wow. That's the only way I go. Dude, I got to a, I got to a mini mall or whatever during like between soccer games and my kid was playing. And I was like, I gotta get just like a nice, I went to Jersey mics. The line was out the door, love me some Jersey mics. I don't. Panda was next door and I was like, you don't like Jersey mics? I don't like Jersey mics. No, no, I do. I like Jersey mics. I wouldn't say it's my top three sandwich shops of my fast casuals. There's only three shops. I like Jimmy John's a lot more. Oh no. When's the last time you had them back to back? That's a fact, yeah. I don't know if I've ever had them back to back. But I mean like I'm saying like you've had it and then you had the other one soon after. I won't, I'm not saying it's a bad sandwich. I like the sandwich, but if a Jimmy John's is right there and they're freaky fast, I'll go in and there's free smells. I'll go over there. The Jimmy John's bread. So good. It's gotten worse. Oh, shut up. What's going on? What's the last time you were there Jimmy John's? I've been there recently too. In a minute, ever since he was cited as a big game hunter, I was out. He's a bad man. He's not a good guy. Well, I still go, but like every time I regret it. Also Blake, who gives a shit? He kills fucking rhinos. I give a shit. You can't be out here killing rhinos, bro. There's none left. Okay. Oh, he killed a rhino? He could be killing all the shit. Well, you don't know if he's killed a rhino. Yeah, bring up a photo of if Jimmy John's is killed. He has photos of him like holding rhinos head. Killing rhinos heads. He's like, yes, yes, he's got rhinos. He got elephants. But you know what you do with the rhinos? What? You keep, you keep the tusk. You make a cool armchair out of it. No, no, no. No, that's what got us into this in the first place. Wait, you can't, you can't do that? Look, you can't. No. Blake, you're talking to the wrong guy. I know. My guy is a big game hunter and he hunts exotic extinct animals. I don't like it. I would love to kill exotic extinct animals. Why? What is the joy in that? What is the joy in killing? Because they are trying to kill you. Adam, it doesn't make your dick any bigger. I know. Well, rhino horn, I think. Wow, I think it does. That's true. Yeah, that's true. I think if you grind it up and you put it in a shake. Hang on. Reverse card. Now if you could guarantee me a couple of inches, I might be killing a rhino with you. Hang on. So listen, you like Jimmy John's the most. Yeah. You support the big game hunter, poacher. Look at that. Next to that is a so sad. That is so sad. I hate you. So here is the Jimmy John's guy and it's not a rhino. It is an elephant, which is equally terrible. I would say even more terrible. Why? The elephants, they're cooler than a rhino. Whoa. Elephant versus rhino. They're both pack of germs. Okay. They're both pretty epic. I mean, sure. Rhinos are more endangered. Adam, just get ready for your take back, brother. Are they? Yeah. Are they more endangered? Rhinos are extremely. There's like a thousand rhinos left. At most. They literally have armed guards around them. Yeah. Like rhinos are have dudes with machine guns by it. Well, that sucks. They preemptively cut the horn off, so hunters don't kill them. Yeah. That's wild. I will say, yeah, I don't like any of this stuff. I do like something that is an extinct that can kill you. That's what I think is kind of cool. Yeah. Like shooting a giraffe. That's fucked up, dude. That's fucked up. What did a giraffe do? The giraffe's not doing shit. Nothing. That is eat leaves. No. Now, if it's. Look. There's a rhino. This guy sucks. There's a rhino. There's a rhino's. Three smells. It's not even about, see, I can separate the art and the artist. I can separate the art and the sandwich artist. The sandwich artist. Oh, that's a boy. That's a boy. Separate the art from the sandwich artist. I like that. I like that. I like that. I'm pissed now. So free to give it points. Yes, points. Oh, wow. Okay. So, I'm willing to go into a Jimmy John's and get their delicious sandwich. Top notch. Free smells. Freaky fast. Get my order. A turkey tom. And hit the fucking row. Jack. You know what? Jersey Mike. As far as I know is an angel. He's a great dude. Man. Yeah, I'm sure. That is a good fight. And the sandwiches are as good if not better than Jimmy John. So I'm going with Mike. They are good sandwiches. I'm not saying they're bad. I like. I like basically all sandwiches. And bad sandwiches. I kind of like. Okay. Okay. I like that. They slice the meat for your sandwich. Who do? The Jimmy John's. I love that. Before all the other ones, it's already like sliced and in the pie. Oh, oh, that's a great call. You see it freshly sliced. It does add to the wait time, which I'm not. I'm not hyped. Yeah. You're getting it freaky fast. You want good food or you want fast food. Fast food. Well, luckily with Pan Express, it's both a. And the time it takes him to slice a fucking piece of meat that guy's already killed at your rap and a fucking elephant. Okay. Goddamn. Fuck that, dude. Fuck him. Goodbye. Well, they have the one. I guess the one I'm thinking about the Jersey Mike's that I hang up with is at the airport. And I think it's the Delta at the LAX. Yeah. Okay. The LAX. The LAX. That's a chop on you for going to that one. What do you mean? That one. It's the one that's just there where I'm like, "Oh shit, I wish I had a sandwich for this flight." Goddamn. First class smells like Mike's way up here. Well, by the way, the options are insane. It's either like you're eating a sandwich at 10 a.m. Which, okay, I guess, or you're eating like. At least to go. Or you're eating like. It's not a Pan Express, but it's like a pay way or some. [BLANK_AUDIO] other Chinese food right there. And I'm like, I'm not gonna bring on Chinese food, which is delicious, but does wreak, is a very pungent smell. I'm not gonna bring that onto a plane. - I mean, which I've done before. - Yeah, I think it's all good. I kinda like it. - I like it. - I've also brought on an entire rotisserie chicken before. - Yeah. - But of course. - Blake's seen me bring on those burritos at the Burbank Airport. - Yeah. - Those Guy Fieri burritos. - Oh, Burbank Airport. The Guy Fieri makes some hits, man. That shit is good. Yeah, stop doing that. - See, what I'm looking for free smells, it's not in an airplane. That's not where I want my free smells. - Keep your smells off my plane. - Yeah. - Please. - I find it very rude. - So then you go to the one at the LAX and at the Jersey Mikes, and it takes so long. Like, I almost missed a flight. I'm like, I think I bailed on a sandwich. Where you're there, you're waiting, and you're like, I can't. - That is not like you. You're boarding, they're saying last call. - And that's the last time you turn your back on nine inches. - Yeah. - Goodbye. - You know what, here's, my life has totally changed. - Did you found Jesus? - I get a mini, I get a mini when I go to Jersey Mikes. - What kind of? - Wow, bitch. - And it's enough. - Wow. - What's a mini? I think we've covered this. The fact that, I don't know if you guys still do, but the fact that I used to eat a foot-long sandwich from Subway, is crazy. - You can't finish a foot-long? - I don't want to. - That's not what I heard. I just don't feel, I just doesn't feel right to have a foot-long in my throat. - Oh shit. - Now I know your life. - Six inches slides down just right. - This is the way. - Wait, we've got the deal. - The deal is back. - Yeah, I just, I'd never feel good after eating a foot-long, but after eating a foot-long. After taking six inches to the dome. - Yeah. - You feel fun? - Yes. - I feel unbelievable. - You're saying six inches is fine. - Oh yeah. - Just shove it in there. - Yeah, he could chore six inches, no problem. - No problem. - Six inches is fine, I agree. I'm fine with six inches, but I can also take a foot-long. - I can't handle it anymore. - Yeah, I can for sure. - When I was younger, I could handle it like a chap. - Blake, don't act like you eat. - I eat. - Brother. - I eat brother. - I do. - I eat a whole ass. - I'm not buying it. - I'm not buying it. - Now, do you take these 12 inches open face? - I eat a foot-long veggie. - Fuck with me. - Yes. - Oh my god. - Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. - I do. - What? - That's the new merch. That's the new t-shirt. I eat a foot-long veggie. Fuck with me. - What? - That's me. - That's exactly what's gonna happen if you go around telling people you take a foot-long veggie. - I do. So what, fuck with, and? - What's the claim? - Yeah, and? - Am I a fucker? - Double cheese? - Wow. - We'll also, good for you. Good for you. I'm actually really impressed. - Thank you. - That you can eat food? 'Cause I've, I've known you for several decades and I've been around here. - I've been around here. - I didn't eat yesterday, but I, I will eat today. - You didn't eat all day? - What happened? - I had lunch. I had lunch. - Okay. - Okay. - And did you have dinner? - See, that's the difference between us and we can start at the penis or scream out I eat three meals plus a day and see who means this. - You never miss a square. That's for sure. My boy likes a square meal. - I'm three hats and a cot, baby. - Well, why do they call it a square meal? - I don't know, 'cause it was on like a, a military tray or something? Or there's, are there four major food groups? - I think that makes it. - And that makes it like a square, it's like. - Isn't there seven, seven major food groups? - That seems like way too many food groups that are major. - Food pyramid is, the food pyramid is more than four. - Can we get back to macro and micro's? - Yeah, you know the established that the food pyramid is absolute bullshit. - It's science. - What? - Who did? - It is, it's like you need to eat as much bread as possible. - Yeah, who did. - It was like absolutely not. - Yes. - Why would, why would someone make that up? - It was to sell bread. - To sell bread. - And like carbs and wheat. - They created a whole pyramid just to sell bread. - Yeah, yeah. Have you ever seen a goat milk commercial? - Guess what? They fucking got you. - Of course they're hilarious. - Hey, burr. Remember that one? - No. - Ah, and burr. - You don't remember that goat milk commercial. Literally like the most iconic commercial of all time. - No, please explain it. You just mumbling words. - Everybody knows this commercial. So me repeating it is like people are gonna be snoozing. But basically there's a guy listening to a radio station and they're like, who shot Alexander Hamilton in the duel? - 'Cause the cookies were dry. - And dude is, yeah, he's like smashing cookies and he calls in and he goes, - Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. - And he's like, excuse me, like, I can't understand you. - Yeah, this is copyright. - And then he like goes for his milk and it's dripping and he's just out of milk and he's like, it's very iconic. - Blake's parents were like, do you wanna watch a movie and then they would just turn on commercial. (laughing) - He's like, remember it got milk too? - Goodbye. - The revenge, that was my shit. - I love commercials. - Yeah, so they're saying the food pyramid is no longer considered valid and then-- - That's crazy. - In 1992, the food pyramid became obsolete. So it's-- - They debunked it. - They debunked it in 1992. - '92 is when I was the most on my pyramid game. - Yeah, well, it seems like you were way off your shit. - And that's when all these commercials came out. The pork one, the other white meat. - Where's the beef? - What about where's the beef? - I'm making them in high school. - What? - Do you remember that one? - That was a restaurant one, didn't it? - That was. - Where's the beef? - Yeah, there's Wendy's or some shit in it. - Oh. - I thought that was like, just go buy beef. - No, no. - California raisins, are they part of it? Please don't tell me they're part of the pyramid. - Yeah. - You haven't read about the abuse? - What? - The allegations of the California-- - Those raisins are all dead now. - Well, yeah. - They were left destitute. - You know what, though? - Home, out on how? (laughing) - Before they did, though. - You know how I heard that? - It's really great, fine. - I will say this about the California raisins, and then I don't wanna talk about them anymore. - You will say this, go ahead. - They have the best Christmas special on the market. - Of all time. - It cannot be. - I love the crowd of California raisins. - They were incredible. - Any blast to me from Durs? - Yeah. - I will not stand for when it comes to the California raisins, 'cause I was just a wee lad living in Northeastern Iowa, Waterloo to be exact. When I first started to see the California raisins, and it made me go, man, I wanna get out there, wear some sunglasses, play the saxophone. - Yeah. - Get show tan that my skin wrinkles up and shrivels, and I shrivels, and much like a raisin, and to live in California. - I should have accomplished. (laughing) - You did it, you did it. - Yeah, and I did it. - Living your truth. - And that's my dream. - The California raisins were really special, like that is so cool. And the fact that they were just selling raisins. - Yeah, what the fuck? - Fuck. - So cool. - It was great. It's hard to find. - Do you remember, who's the other, the like, sun-made, it was sun-made, right? - Yeah, fuck them. - Is that like the, it was the woman. - Indian on the front? - Is she Indian? - No, it's the woman. - No, it's just a lady. - It was just a lady. - What am I thinking, a land of legs butter? - Pretty hot. I'm getting my box hose mixed up. - I remember thinking like, that might have been the first woman. - Look at her. - She's a fucking babe, dude. - I remember her being the first woman that kind of, as Kyle would say, got my pecker heart. - Okay, let's go. - RIP Kyle. - As Kyle's dad would say. - Yeah, the sun-made woman, she got my pecker heart. - For sure. - Kind of hot. - Should we rank imaginary women? Who's the hottest, who's the hottest? - Jessica Rabbit. - Box model. - No, no, no. - Oh, but, grandma. - And she's hot. - She is. - She's got some strong legit. Give me a bottle of syrup. - Hip sauna. - But Miss Butterworth was thick though. Miss Butterworth was thick. - Ooh. - Ooh, we. - Land of legs. What did she look like? - She was the one who was the American Indian. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - I don't know that one. - Is she still on it? - I hope not. That seems problematic. - No, she's still there. It looks like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. They took her, they took her off. - Yeah, they took her away. - They're not having that. - Absolutely not. - It's just some white lady now? - Yeah, okay. Land of legs. What about, what was the, wasn't it the tricks for her kids? Didn't they have a female bunny that I thought was kind of? - Oh, dude, on the roller skates, are my thinking of Heathcliff? - Yeah. - Oh, no. Tricks for her kid has always been one dude. - No, no, no. There was a chick who showed up. - There was a girl. - I don't know that. - Yeah. - If you're a female and you want to eat tricks, - I think you're thinking of space jam. - No. - Okay, Todd, please help us out here. I think there was a bunny who is hot as hell. They had to make her unhot for the new one. - Really? - Yeah, she was too sexy. - Yeah, 'cause her ass is too juice. - They ugly to her up for the new movie. Yeah, it was actually pretty devastating. - Why? - Because kids were so horny for her that they had to. - There are two horny up. - But she's a rabbit. - Horny, like a horny or an rabbit? Where would they say? I don't know what to say. - Well, the kids shouldn't be saying it. So they had to change that. - Yeah, okay. Kids were too horny up for a lowly rabbit. Todd, help us out here. - Her ass was crazy. - Remember Alvin and the chipmunks when they had the other, the girl ones? - Oh yeah, they were so cute. The one with the glasses. - That was a problem. - The one with the glasses, she was cute. - That's the kind of show where you have to watch it bent over the ottoman to hide your boner, ottoman. - Wow. - Wow, dude. - Your mom comes in and you're just like fully like. You're just fucking the ottoman. She's like, "You good?" And you're like, "Absolutely." - Mom, I'm great. - Satisfaction. (dramatic music) - First thing I hate about Eulogy is they never actually tell the Turks. I'm Dave, and I've been a (beep) for my life. - In October, 2021, my brother, David, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A year later, he convinced me to make a podcast with him. This podcast. - Okay, so here we go. - We didn't know what we were doing, so we just started recording. We discussed cancer. - Since the radiation had lost about 10 more pounds. - We fought. - Yeah, pisses me off. - And we talked openly about the fact that David was going to die. - I am afraid of being forgotten. - My brother, David, is the story of the last chapter of my brother's life. It's weird and messy and vulnerable, and I'm gonna share all of it with you. - The constant back and forth battle about how do I not just be alive, but actually live. - Listen to my brother, David, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - But more than a century, Miss America felt the country of fantasy. - Well, are you ready, ladies? Okay, here we go. - But over the past decade, the crown's been slipping. - They said, "Goodbye to swimsuits." Now, hello to lawsuits. - I'm Bridget Armstrong. Last season, we took you inside the world of America's next top model. Now I'm back with season two of this podcast, Curse of Miss America. Investigating the rise, fall, and uncertain future of one of America's most iconic institutions. The Miss America pageant. - I never received scholarship. - He looks at me and goes, "You don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder." - It's great, but looks too ethnic. - It's a story the Miss America organization really doesn't want us to tell. - An exploitation of our Miss Americas is treated by the Miss America organization as an attack on Miss America itself. ♪ Miss America ♪ - Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. - There are thousands of podcasts that can tell you how to better yourself. Get worse with Kyle Pru is not one of those podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making your better, getting closer, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. But if you're interested in blackmail, love bombing, cloning yourself, or getting revenge, then we've got a little something, something for a dastardly individual like you. Take a listen to some of the incredible advice we've given so far. Fake a back injury. Get the spray tan, up your alcohol consumption. Only women should be allowed to have guns. - Kill 'em. - Kill 'em. - Kill 'em with a gun. - Listen, it's already over. I'm all about lying if it's something that really happened. The next time a bear is running at you, you just calmly stop what you're doing, you look the bear in the eye, and you say this isn't you. - Do not preserve relationships. You don't need them. You only need one thing, and that's the GetWorse podcast. - Listen to GetWorse with Kyle Pru on the IHR Radio App Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. - What really drives the global economy? The big take podcast from Bloomberg News goes beyond the headlines to bring you reliable, data-driven journalism. - Are we at a crisis moment when it comes to bond yields? - In the US, no. In the case of France, very imminent signs of a potential crisis. We follow the money, the power, and the policy. - I don't think I have ever in my journalism career confronted a journalistic subject that was genuinely secretive the way Jane Street was from global markets and political shifts. - When Zelensky was on the phone with the president, the president just kept saying diesel, diesel, diesel. - The unexpected industries quietly changing the world. - Close to a billion dollars worth of her fantasy books were sold in the US last year. - One essential story, 15 minutes every weekday. We're just like swinging between fear and greed every day based on the latest headline, you know. - Where are we today? - My play is fear, I play greed. - Listen to the big take on the IHR Radio App, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. - Yeah, Tricks, I'm not seeing any sign of a-- - I remember this. - Now we're not looking up hot as female cartoon characters 'cause that will send us down a rabbit hole. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just points. - 'Cause I'm gonna have to talk about Miss Elastic or whatever from, what is it, the expendables? What's that meant? - I mean, I looked up a Sexy's Box Model on a food product and then just the Quaker Oats guy. Just flooded my, they're like, it's just like the Quaker Oats guy. - Is he hot? - Well, as it keeps posting the Tricks, the same Tricks box over and over. - Yes, sir. - Yeah, that's not the, that's a, seems like a boy rabbit, not sexy to me. - We're really forgetting something, I think. I feel like we're forgetting a real. - Hey, let me say this real quick. Walking through the cereal out of the other day and maybe I brought this up. I saw Angel Reese, very, very attractive. - She is. - On a cereal box? You don't think she's hot? - Not really. - I'll send you a picture later. - Okay. - But she's on the box of this kid's cereal. - Right. - Like eye-fucking. - Ooh. - Kind of serious. - Like in like a gown and I'm like, you're in a gown. - A children's cereal box. Like why are, who said this was the shot? Who said this was the one? - You're not hot. - Like if you wanna be on a box of just right, eye-fucking, go for it. Crackling open ran, go crazy. - Right. - I'm like, honeycomb. - Why? I mean, dude. Honeycomb's there for dads too. - What about, what about on like fruity pebbles? The, the like. - The two can sand? - That is a Welma and Betty Rubble. - Oh, no. That was Fred and Barney. They didn't let the girls on the ball. - Oh, well, I'm looking at berry pebbles, which were. - I don't know. - Yeah. - That was very specific. - What about the girl on the, like Chalua logo? - Chalua? - Yeah. - Yeah. Chalua. - I recall that being kind of a hotbed. - Chalua girl? - Yeah. - Hey, and this segment is pretty riveting. This is important to us going like, there's for sure hot chicks on cereal boxes, right? - Well, you know, if we could go back to the Christmas special of the California raisins, I implore everybody to YouTube it 'cause I remember being really, really good. It's all claymation, it's fantastic. Really fantastic. - I feel implored. - Yeah, I'm looking. It seems like, unfortunately, it's mostly guys. It's, you know, frost and flags. It's buzzed the Cheerios B, it's cocoa puffs. The little, uh. - Mr. Clean was jacked. - Mr. Clean was hot. He was hot. St. Paulie girl, she's kind of a babe. She's holding like six beers. That's kind of cool. - No matter if I do. - Right. - Yeah, she's hot. - Do your kids eat a lot of syrup? - I'm looking at all of these boxes of syrup boxes and man, it's been a while since I've seen some of these. - We don't buy the trash shit and they don't want it either. - They don't want it because they weren't, they didn't have it as you gotta have to get hooked early on in order to want that or what's the deal? - I think they think it's gross. I mean, there's some exceptions. But yeah, like, they don't seem to fiend for it. Like, I know I did. - The sugary. - Oh, dude, that was, I remember waking up and craving absolute sugar bombs in the morning. - Yeah. - I used to add sugar to my sugary sugar. - Oh, yeah, you had to. - I remember going to people's houses when they added sugar, blue, my mind. - Really? - You would eat rice crispies playing no sugar on them. - We just never had rice crispies. We'd have a sugary cereal. But I remember being like, oh, rice crispies. And then they were just like spoonful, spoonful, spoonful. And like, it turned gray. - Oh yeah. - It's just like a gray mountain. That was the best. That was, what do you mean? That was, wait, you're shitting on that? - That was so sweet. - It was so good. - I could do one spoon. When I saw somebody do this, like, shoveling it on. - No, you want it, you want it so that when you finish your cereal, you have like a-- - You're then drinking milky sugar. - Sugary slop. That's what you want to, don't tell. - I was doing it for three years before, two and a half years before you born. - That gets you ready for the fucking first grade, man. - Yeah. - Then you come in fucking pumped, ready to learn how to write in cursive. - Talking about sexy rabbits from the box. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, it's been ruined. They're scared of donuts and shit. They're like, they're scared of donuts. - Who scared of donuts? - Wait, you're your children? They don't, I get donuts, they don't like them. - What the hell? - Okay, what is going on over here? - I don't know. They like ice cream. - Did you like hit 'em with donuts? Does your wife like feed them a lot of health food? And so they've gotten a taste for very healthy stuff? - Not health food, but healthy food, right? Not like-- - Sure. - It's not like so crunchy, but it's just like whole foods, right? Like vegetables and fucking that kind of shit. - Yeah, that's not how I was raised. It was very much like a beefaroni and hamburger helper. - Oh, dude, the best. The cheeseburger helper. - Ooh, cheeseburger. - The ricearoni. - Dude, I saw something, someone, I think it was like, like an Instagram reel of like how rice seroni and hamburger helper and cheeseburger helper is now back because people don't have money because of, you know, yeah, you know, society crumbling. - Late stage capitalism. And it just made me go like, oh, fuck. I have to go get some hamburger helper. Imagine if they sell out. I've been here since I've ever had it. But now I'm like, oh, fuck. Is this gonna be like something I can't get toilet paper and I need to wipe my ass. But I haven't had it in years. But literally the other day, I was like, we need to get hamburger helper in this house because I just need, I need to have it on hand. - No, so you're, you never know. - So your, your doom prepper is just getting hamburger helper. - It's just cheeseburger and hamburger helper. Because how fucking good is it, dude? How good is it? - I love the idea of a broke family going into the grocery store and the parents being like, now remember, we can only get the rice seroni. And then they get to it and they just see you carting away with all of it, being like, it's back. (laughing) - Wait, totally. - I'm gonna make a whole thing of it on my boat. - They're like. - Please don't stop the music. - Okay. Yeah. - Goddamn it. - Yeah. - I feel like I like that, that might be kind of shitty, but it's so good, dude. - It is very good. - I feel like if you grew up with money and never had cheeseburger or hamburger helper. - You missed out. - You missed the fuck out. - You remember the other flavors? Like they had like lasagna flavor. That was kind of decent. And then they had like, they had like, - Sal's berry or something. - I never remember the box. - That one was hell of good. - That one was. - Don't remember that. - It had like a flatter noodle, it was so good. There were different flavors. - This is hamburger helper version? - Yeah, it was hamburger helper. - With a little glove that would walk around. - Absolutely. - Yeah. - I don't glove no love. - Come on. - Adam, the white glove, my glove. - Huge. - Yeah, I'm a white glove boy. You saw me, you saw me on the wall. - I'm a dude. - You were gonna say something. He's just looking at pictures of hamburger helper. I fell out of character for a second. - I'm so, I'm so hungry dude. - He's just looking at hamburger helper plugin. We lost him. - I'm so hungry dude, hamburger helper. Yeah, Isaac posted, thank you Isaac, is making it a comeback due to its affordability and resurgence and popularity during my economic factors and feature on the show The Bear. - I didn't know, was it on The Bear? - I haven't seen that episode. - I feel like I didn't watch the last season of The Bear. - Beacons The Bear. - I don't know. - I don't know if I did. - The only bear I know is right here baby. - The handle. - The little panda bear. - Panda. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, Sal's Berry. Salis Berry, that was the shit. - That show doesn't check a box for me. - Well, it probably makes you too hungry. - I just don't identify with it at all. - Yeah, you wish it was said in a fucking Mic's way. - Yeah. - It makes sense. - I watch that show. - Yeah. - No, I just, it's like the trauma and the anxiety thing. I'm like, I wish I could go, yeah, no, totally. But none of us really worked in like a restaurant like that. - Well, I did work at BJ's Pizza. So I mean, I remember like. - But you were a delivery guy. You weren't back there fucking cooking shit. - Yeah, Blake, you were saying yes, Jeff. - Not yes, Jeff, come on. - Hey, Blake was too busy driving pizzas around and then acting like he was stoned. - Weep! - I got another delivery for you. People were like, dude, I bet you smoke weed all the time and you're like, absolutely man, never did, never once. - Pazooki's on top. - That's a bullshit. - What's a bullshit about that? - I know, I just, the, the, the like, and like the perfection stuff, like I'm just not, I'm not that guy, pal, who's so like hard on themselves about whatever the fuck he's so hard on themselves for. - What? - Who's brother, his brother died, oh, Jesus man. - Oh, your mom's crazy, and she drove her car in the house, where I guess you would be. - You hit all the money in cans of tomato sauce. - I liked it. - Oh, you locked in the freezer. - Okay, I think that's the last one I saw is running out locked in the freezer. - Okay, well. - Yeah, the bear, the bear. - Yeah, well made show. As a person, as a person who worked in and around food, it resonated. - Well, dude, I worked at a service deli at a grocery store. I'm not gonna say I worked at a high-end restaurant. - You should probably identify with the bear. - I don't, I didn't. I sliced meat and made macaroni salad. And, and did you do it well? Did you care about your job? Did you feel the pressure? - No, stop. - No, I've literally, I've had high pressure jobs. I've never felt pressure. - Yeah. - Because it just doesn't matter, dude. - It just doesn't matter. We've all seen meatballs. - Because, yeah, it just doesn't matter. - Well, it does matter. You have to care. If you don't care, then yeah, it doesn't matter. - Carrying and being, having so much pressure is two different things. Carrying and trying to do a good job. That's one thing. Being a bitch and putting all this pressure on yourself, that it has to be the greatest thing of all time. And then, all of a sudden, you have nervous breakdowns and you freak out in a walk-in freezer. - Goodbye. - And then you put it on television and you call that good TV. Get the fuck outta here. - Woo! - Woo! - Thank you. - Wow. - Wow. - That's, that's the hot dish I eat. - Wow. - Okay. - Well, I guess you guys, I mean, again, BJ's pizza, a lot of customers, fast-moving, you know, we're getting those pizzas out. We're getting those salads out. You're not getting shit out. It's already out by the time you put it in your shitty-ass car. - Look, as a delivery driver, I was responsible for scooping the ice cream onto Pazooki's. - Really? - Okay. So like, I'm the guy, and you already know I had carpal tunnel, so it wasn't really easy. And yeah, I had a mental breakdown. - I believe that. - Of course. - I believe you've had to do those. - Yeah, it was high stress. - Yeah. - So like, just, I get why you guys don't respond to it, but. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, only just 'cause it doesn't matter at all. - Yeah. - You have to care, man. If you don't care. - No, dude, caring and it mattering are two different things. - Yes. - Well, nothing matters, guys. Come on. What are we talking about here? - What? - Your children matterfully. - What are you talking about? Your children don't matter? - All right. - We are just, we are just little monkeys on a rock loading through space. - Okay. - I'm a panda bitch, come on now. Come on now. - Mm, good luck. - You guys hear about this alien coming at us? - What happened? - There's apparently like a comet that people are like, well, with telescopes and the stuff we have, we looked at it and it's got properties that we only find in like technology that we make. Like the certain like welding of metals and stuff. - Way to do it. - So they're like, how would it have that? - Properties, so it has like condominiums and hello. - That's funny, Adam. That's pretty good. - I'm glad you got it, you're coming. - Yes, points. - It's science. - But we don't know what it is. - So they're looking at a comet and there's things on there that are man-made, you're saying? - What they're saying is that they can analyze what it's made of so they can find out exactly what it is, right? And there are the properties, Adam. - Like a condominium? - The property. - It's basically found the property brothers are on it. - Well, this sounds, honestly, this sounds scary and I think we all gotta go to the store. We can get all the hamburger helper before this motherfucker hits our talk. And Todd, did you just drop a link in there? - Yeah, it's called 3i-Atlas. And name it something else. - Just name it something else, dude. - You can't call it, just give it a phone. - Who's the guy that found it? - Jeff? - Yeah, name it Jeff. - You call it Jeff's comet. - No, what do you mean? - You know, it's like, fuck. - Haley's comet named after Eminem's daughter. - So 3i-Atlas, also known as C- 2025 and one. - That's a good name. - That's a much more, that's also a bad name, dude. Just give it a real name. - Let's call it Atlas. - Oh, and previously known as, so it's been known as multiple things. Previously known as A-11-P-I-3-Z. - Dwayne the Rock, Dwayne the comet Johnson. - So they keep going like, who named this motherfucker? - Yeah, it's like, one guy named it A-11-P-I-3-Z. And then the next guy's like, no, no, no, bitch. It's C-2025-N1, and then they go, how fucking good are you? - How dare you? It's 3i-Atlas, and I think you know that. - It's science. - A scientists are such nerds, dude. - They are, man. God bless them. - But so if this thing hits Earth and aliens get out, what's in your guys' go-bag? - Ambergrilper. - Besides a machete for killing Rhinoces. - Rhinoces. - For Adam, we know that that's there. We know that's there. - What's in line to go-bag? - You know what I was just thinking what would be a fun thing to do, and this is what I would do. With you guys, come on down here. We'll get on the boat. We'll just go out in the ocean. I'll bring some guns. I have a Tommy gun, so that's kind of fun. I also have a shotgun, and we could just go skeet shooting, and just wait for aliens to attack. And then we have guns. We have weapons, so we can at least protect ourselves a little bit. We can go fishing. - Right, yeah. - Maybe we go camping. - Yeah, maybe we go to Catalina Island, go camping for a little bit. - Oddly, Adam, I know that what you're talking about might end up into some sort of firefight situation where we're shooting these aliens. I'm starting to think they might just want to kick it. They're like, "Whoa, these cool, look at these cool guys." Is that a Tommy gun? - Yeah, this guy's a Tommy gun. - Holy shit. - But you know what? You know what people do? We clump down around here, is they go out to the, you know, if you go three miles off the coast, now you're in international waters. - Maritime law. - Maritime law. - Now we're talking the cruise baby. - Yeah. - And then we can, buffa, I'm buying a ski gun. - That's legal. - So you're a ski shooter. So you just put it in there, it shoots it out. We can shoot ski on the open ocean. - Well, that's right. - How fun would that be? - And it's, hang on, I'm saying it. This is biodegradable. - It is, yeah, it's clay. - Yeah. - It turns into like fish food essentially, right? - Yeah, it's just clay. - It just sort of melts in and nothing. - That's so cool. I've never been ski shooting at all. I don't know how difficult it would be. - Uh, it's pretty damn easy. - Really? - Yeah. - Is that because the shotgun, like it sprays? - Sprays. - Yeah, that's right. - So you just kind of have to point it in the general direction. You don't have to have graying. - Well, yeah, you got to be kind of on it, but yeah, yeah. Shooting a shotgun's fairly easy. - I believe in you. - Shoot your shotgun. - Does it have a really nasty kick on it? - Have you never shot a shotgun before? - I've never shot a shotgun, no. - Oh wow, it'll kick you. - Yeah, it does. You just gotta keep it tight. You know, keep it tight to your arm. - Yeah. I'm shot like machine guns in Vegas. That's pretty fun. - That is fun, yeah. - But that's indoor and I don't like shooting guns indoor. That shit bugs me. - Too loud. It's just like, yeah, I feel like something's gonna go wrong. - I've shot, I've shot like some AR-15s and that kind of stuff. And that's the favorite of school shooters. They love that gun. - Right. - Should you be talking about that? They're still looking for you. - I love Billy. - The school shooters love that gun. And I'm like, I'm fairly pro-gun. I think guns are pretty fucking radical. I'm from the Midwest. I like to go fesit hunting. I've never been deer hunting, but I'm not opposed to it. - For, yeah. - And I like that kind of stuff. But AR-15s, it's too easy. - Yeah, it's too easy. And the kick is like nothing. You're like, it's just, it's like a toy. - 'Cause it's got like a built-in thing that kind of suppressor takes, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, it's a weapon for war, for battle. - So I'm just saying, it's, why do we have 'em? Is what you're saying? - Yeah, or, yeah, why do civilians? - Yeah, why do we need 'em here in our society? It should just be a weapon for war. I mean, I think people are gonna get all jazzed up about this combo. But I'm saying, hey, I understand. You might need a handgun to protect yourself in your house in case someone breaks in and wants to, you know, rape your butt. - It's science. - If you think Adam's wrong and you've got a really cool AR-15, again, we're gonna be in Vegas, bring it. Let's show it to Aliens. - No, if you think I'm wrong and you think that this stance and you fucking hate me for it, slide into Blake's DMs. - Always a pleasure. - And talk about it. - I don't wanna talk about it. ♪ ♪ - First thing I hate about Ulysses is they never actually tell the Turks. I'm Dave and I've been a (beep) for my life. - In October 2021, my brother, David, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This podcast. We discussed cancer. - Since the radiation, I lost about 10 more pounds. - We fought. It's weird and messy and vulnerable and I'm gonna share all of it with you. - The constant back and forth battle about how do I not just be alive, but I should live. - For more than a century, miss America's out the country of fantasy. Okay, here we go. Now I'm back with season two of this podcast, Curse of Miss America, investigating the rise, fall, and uncertain future of one of America's most iconic institutions, the Miss America pageant. - He looks and he goes, "You don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder." - It's great, but looks too ethnic. - An exploitation of our Miss America's is treated by the Miss America organization as an attack on Miss America itself. - Listen to the Curse of Miss America, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making your better getting closer, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. Fake a back injury, get the spray tan, up your alcohol consumption. - Kill 'em. - Kill 'em. Kill 'em with a gun. - The next time a bear is running at you, you just calmly stop what you're doing, you look the bear in the eye, and you say this isn't you. - Do not preserve relationships, you don't need them. You only need one thing, and that's the GetWorks podcast. - Listen to GetWorks with Kyle Pru on the IHR radio app Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. - The big tech podcast from Bloomberg News is your home for reliable data-driven journalism. Are we at a crisis moment when it comes to bond yields? - In the US, no. - Because when you want to understand the forces moving markets, shaping governments, and driving the global economy, you go to the experts. - I don't think I have ever in my journalistic career confronted a journalistic subject that was genuinely secretive the way Jane Street was. - Markets, politics, award-winning investigations, plus the unexpected industries quietly changing the world. - Close to a billion dollars, worth of romanticist books were sold in the US last year. - We're just like swinging between fear and greed every day based on the latest headline, you know. Where are we today? - My place fear I play greed. (laughing) - Think of it as the NBA you don't have to pay for. Listen to the big take, wherever you get your podcasts. - Hey, I don't like guns at all. I'm not a fan of guns. - Well, you're gonna be a fan when we shoot some skeet. - In the middle of the ocean? - Yeah, I think that's gonna be fun. - Wait, you said you shot a machine gun? - Yeah, it was for a bachelor party. - Yeah. - Did you like that or no? - I didn't, I didn't love it. - Have you ever shot a handgun? - Ah. - Handguns are, I find more fun than just shooting a machine gun. - I don't know if I have shot. - 'Cause you gotta, you gotta aim and it's pretty rewarding when you hit a bull's eye. - Adams, no, not to aim the other kind of gun. - Yes, fuck that. - He's like, you gotta fucking aim these pistols. - Yeah, but with the machine gun, you're kind of letting it spray a little bit. Like part of the fun is just like, - Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. - Yeah, I wish I, I would like to shoot it oozy. Remember how sick oozy were in the 90s? - Yeah, that was a big, big, big gun. Dude, my dad gave me a Tommy gun with the full barrel. - Oh wow. - That's cool. - And it got stuck open. So I just had to hold it while it shot like 40 bullets or however many. I think it was 40. And so it just gets stuck open, which very dangerous. - Sure. - And so I just had to hang on to it as it's just, - Put it down. - Right. - Empty, dude. - Right. - I'm just gonna put this down and let it, this here, it starts spinning in a circle. - Let it run, it's cool. - I'm just gonna point it towards that zoo. How did everyone get shot in the ankle? - That's hell. - That's hell weird. - I just put it right there. - I had to go take a shit, I don't know. - Yeah, I don't know. - Yeah, I don't think I've shot a shotgun maybe. I think I've just shot a rifle in a handgun. - But then like in movies and stuff, you're shooting real guns, it's just blanks, right? So didn't we shoot guns in gay, Moverman? - Gay Moverman? Yeah, we were shooting a lot of guns. - Yeah, I believe, I believe that to be true. But the guns, those little briefcase guns that we had were not real bam. Those were fake. God, I got a friend who I swam with, who lives in NorCal, like Chico area. Every couple of months, I just get a fucking picture from him, from him, of him standing over the biggest elk you've ever seen in your life. - It looks like something out of a fucking prehistoric Jurassic Park horror movie. - I love that, I love that. That's awesome. - And he's like, check it out, Mike. I hope you eat that, like what do you eat that, right? - Oh yeah, you have to get it fully processed. - Definitely. - Yeah, you make jerky. - And then if it's like a big ass elk, you could like skin that, you could make a blanket. - Yeah, you can, it'd be, yeah. - Why, what do you mean? - Why do you want to elk? Blanket. That sounds gross. Why, you have blankets with fucking a hair on them and shit. Yeah. It's wool. But you have a sheep wool. You are, you are a blanket. What the fuck are you? You're a human blanket, homie. It's sheep's, well, yeah, it's the, it's the hair of sheep homie. Yeah, but I don't have so blurry for whatever reason, Durs. I mean, I don't know. It's because of the lashes. Yeah. Yeah. We cannot see that. We sort of so weird. Yeah. I don't know why it's like a, why did you start to black out your background when you didn't do that before? What, what is, because I got, I had stuff written on the board. Oh, okay. It's under wraps. It's under wraps. Secret top secret. Can't talk about the deal. Yeah, the deal is it's not done. Can't talk about it. Uh, yeah, that's why. Well, you don't have to kill sheep to make blankets. That's all I'm saying. There's ways to make blankets without killing. But they do kill the, they do kill sheep, but they do. They share them about that. They share them. They don't fucking kill them. Sometimes they kill them. Sometimes they kill the sheets. What do they kill the sheep for? They don't for mutton. Yeah, that's sometimes they do play. Sometimes they kill the sheep. Why do they kill the sheep? The lambs because sometimes they're being naughty sheep. And they've got to kill them, Blakey. That is true. If the elevator, I'm about to kill it. You have a big ass elk like that. You can have elk blankets. You can elk the shocker. I've never seen an elk blanket. Dude, you put, you, you put that head on your wall. It's okay. Oh, man. That's a living room. My cousin, he has like, his house is absolutely insane. Terrifying. It's hilarious. You walk in your like, oh, Jesus Christ, there's like 12 deer heads on the wall. I'm like, I'm like, dude, one deer head, one deer head. One big one. If it's like at a, yeah, if it's at a cabin or, you know, yes, or if it's in your house and it's down in your man layer, you get one, you get one. He has, and I don't think I'm exaggerating 12. That's right. It's so many. You just got to put one over every toilet in the house. That's kind of cool. Yeah. It's, it's, it's too, it's too many. So you can hang your hat up and take a dish for the rest. You get meat out of that. Your freezer is, is, is chock full. Delicious meats. Garage Ridge. Yeah. It's not like Jimmy Johns right? I'm excited. I'm excited. I mean, I would love to go, uh, Rhino burgers, elk, elk hunting or deer hunting. I've never been deer hunting. I wanted to, I would do like, I'm more interested in like bow hunting. I think we've talked about this. But just like the idea that it's a little harder than just like capping something from two football fields away. Yeah, but it's still fairly difficult. To what? Because you got to hit it in the right spot. You got to be a good shot. So she said, bro, hello. I'm, I'm, I'm a pretty good shot. But like, I haven't done it in 20 years. Yeah. So you might not be, but probably not. Yeah. Great. I'm a great shot. I just, oh yeah. I refuse, I refuse to shoot. But I guess I just like the idea of shooters go shoot that, that just the bow just pulling the bow back, letting that breath out. What about the bore hunting where you have to hunt them with knives? I would like that. But then, but then a lot of times they don't die. You have to like these poor, these deer, they get shot with this arrow. And then you got to track them for miles because they don't die. But you're ignoring my favorite part where you get to what you get to go up to them and go and slip the throat. I did this to you. Oh, slip the throat. Yeah. Yeah. And then you, when as soon as they die, you go, you go, and you, you breathe in the soul. You guys are twisted. Okay, powder. Is that what he did? No, he healed the deer. Yeah. I feel, I'm, I'm a little bit more of a hunter. Durses is a absolute serial killer psychopath. Yeah, there's a difference. There is a difference between us started started the Venus. There is a difference. Yeah. Well, I got a log off here. Why? Who just walked in the room? Who's looking at you? Are you looking at a clock? Yeah, who's looking at you? So Kyle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, what the fuck? So Kyle just gave me a happy go more to putter. Can I show you guys this thing? It's really cool. But I do have to go. Interesting, interesting. He gave you that putter. I've used one. It's, it's really cool. Interesting. Shape like a hockey stick. Yeah. That's red. I'm going to have to call and ask about our friendship. It says happy Gilma right here. Boom. Boom. Boom. Bam. Hot. Damn. How cool is this thing? It's a very cool. And who makes that? And might send me. Odyssey. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Odyssey. They're top of the top. Yeah. I used it. I used it to golf. Kyle and I went golfing in Van A's and he brought that as his putter. That's a move. And it's really hard to use. But what? No, it's, it's really easy to you. I don't. Next time you guys go golfing and invite me. I think I want to start to golf because I'm invited to all these like like golf events. Right. And I always pass them up. But sometimes they're like, Hey, we'll fly you and your family to Hawaii. Right. And you all you have to do is do this event. And then you could spend a week in Hawaii. And all expenses paid. I'm like, that sounds fucking great. But I'm so bad that I would be an embarrassment to the entire organization. They kick you off time. Potentially dangerous. Yeah. Okay. Well, Blake has to log off any tape acts apologies. Epic slams before you have to log off. Um, you know what? What's that? I just just want to give a special shout out to Jersey Mike. So maybe they have a coat that they could send. Yeah. Great. Great. Thank you so much. Thanks. And I would like to give a shout out to Jimmy John's. I would love some sandwiches freaky fast. And I stand up for you even though you hunt animals that probably shouldn't be murdered. Wow. Do I feel I feel most animals do deserve it. But the animals that you're killing, they don't because there's only they only have like four or five brothers and sisters. I'm willing to have him on the pod just to like just to talk about it. Just to talk about it, dude. You know, and look, we're not platforming. We're just guys having a conversation awareness, cis white males. And I'm curious to who he thinks is the hottest. Who's the hottest on a box? Absolutely. I want to know what the Jimmy John's guy thinks. Absolutely. Freaky, freaky fast. Free smells. And that's another episode. This is Airport. Go big red. Wish knows. Go big red. All right. I have to go. Thanks guys. Bye. Dr. Callus about it, but just because we die so fast. Listen to my brother David on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bridget Armstrong back with season two of the podcast, Curse of Miss America. We're talking to participants whistleblowers and people who say Miss America didn't live up to their promises. He looks and he goes, you don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder. I never received scholarship. Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. If you're interested in blackmail, love, bomb, and cloning yourself are getting revenge, then we've got a little something-something for a dastardly individual like you. Listen to Get Worse with Kyle Pru on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Darryl Bell. And I'm Kadim Harrison. And together, we're the voices behind the newest podcast on the Black Effect podcast network, a different world view with Darryl and Kadim. Each Thursday, we're rewatching an episode of the show that changed our lives a different world. We're sharing never before heard stories from behind the scenes and sitting down with other stars from the show to hear their unique perspectives. Listen to a different world view with Darryl and Kadim every Thursday from the Black Effect podcast network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human.