Ep. 269 - Ranking Every Fast Food Fries

Welcome to a very special episode of the yard Two of our members are gonna be gone this week, and what the monkeys call business the horses call play Here's the thing we we're a jack in the box. We're ordering our first set of fries We're gonna try every fry available to us in beautiful sunny Los Angeles. I would like to impose a Bit of a rating system What is happening and also We got a Lamborghini We can't fit please. Please don't pull it you're hitting the curb rich Rashard Rashard, you're hitting your hitting the curb using the Lamborghini on the car and I will we will swiftly fire We will flog you we will flog you we will tar you so if you guys don't know rich is our producer And he's driving the Lamborghini which apparently is an awful idea. We were gonna get you driving gloves We were gonna deck you out. We were gonna make you look like in the SpongeBob band I'm telling you fucking weirdos on Reddit that does not mean rich is it for you stupid fucking bitch Jesus fuck producer, they don't know what the word means. They don't know it though. They don't know what anything means Okay, hold on well. I'm getting ahead. It's creeping. Let me just hold the staff You don't want to break anything in this Lamborghini. Can I please I'll break everything in this Lamborghini? I'll have my time. I will break. I will get the staff from you I would like to impose a bit of a rating system on this on this I don't know Exploratory are findings if you will first of all I would like to say the tier list order we have four tiers are she can put all this on screen graphically We have four and if you're an audio listener, you can imagine we have first the goaded tier That's just exactly what it sounds like then we have high variance that is tier two You might think that would be a lower tier But the purpose of high variance is to cover what I kind of expect to be like an in and out fry Which is like sometimes they're peak sometimes they're trash I know people in the comments went from California or like they're always trash kill yourselves don't care The third tier that we go into what was it again? It was a sauce shovel sauce shovels These are fries that do not have enough merit under their own volition They're they're edible, but really they are a way to get sauce in sauces into your mouth your branches Your ketchup your chip your chipotle seasonings and then the last tier is in edible These are fries that after eating one I don't want another even if I'm kind of hungry They're just kind of gross. Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of I do think there will be a nice curve in the middle Tears the two middle tears here because to be a goaded fries to be something that's just celebrated and amazing and to be Inedible is like the bar for a fries pretty low. Let's I mean, let's be honest But sometimes you get a fry and you're like fuck me yuck and sometimes High variance can and can get involved here one time I had McDonald's fries that were so salty. I threw up Like immediately I threw up after eating them. There were two salty. We've all had salt Like we've all had so many different French fry adventures I'm so excited to embark on this journey with you I suggested you go to BJ's because I love their fries and you scoffed at me. He started I will break everything in this Lamborghini, especially richest fingers. I have to pay for all this Do you have a yard card? It's it's insert only Dude This is I am I'm Curious Richard and do not touch the camera my jeez it's Christ Richard. We are going to vlog you That's the thing. I don't care that we're in a Lamborghini. You're going to be vlog Just use my phone. I just use my phone. I just use my phone. Can I please just impose my system? I haven't gotten to my system Okay, we need to talk about a couple things. Let's for one Let's talk about this immediate situation that we're dealing with now Jack in the box. There's two different types of fries. They have curly and they have regular That's right. We decided that if they offer two different types of fries that are naked fries We will get them both and we will judge them accordingly. How do we determine what naked means slime the entrepreneur? It's a great question and from another entrepreneur to another is that let's say something like animal fries or something like Cheesy fries. I would consider these a different Field of their own and I would consider them a meal. They're a meal. They're a meal You are you are covering your fries with with with findings and this is not while this is actually a video of findings It is not a video about findings if that makes sense. It's not a video about findings, but it's a video about findings No, thank you. Thank you. You catch up Any kid I look like here we are here we are with our first French fry on the list Starbucks not Starbucks Jack in the box How did I fuck that up? Hold on before you touch one and you are literally salivating. I can I can see you are salivating I'm saying I should get why don't you get large? Why don't you get what we're gonna eat so much something? It's something I want to do as well as I want to put them all in a giant bag at the end of the day Maybe it can be We have the poop in the bag a dredge heat first of all actually before the system. I want to say I Want to say I was like when I was a kid and I was in elementary school my mom used to feed me All the time by taking me to Jack in the box and I would order the chicken fajita peda and I would get curly fries And I'd probably get a doctor pepper slime and I am your mom fed you doctor pet I'm fed me fucking doctor pep so This is the this is a curly fry. This is a weird choice to show these are the ones that you would put in your nose And you actually get nose ring who knows that you'd be a you'd be a the toughest with a septum piercing did curly fries fall off I'd like you to this is common. I mean we don't have any curly cues. Do you know I'm talking about when you get a spring? I love a spring. You got to know 10 usually it has a spring in it. There's no spring my system Jesus Christ my system I've created a system called SMS And this is a way to understand and interpret a fry. Okay, so first the S is salt content Right because if you if you do not salt a fry it does not taste good. I'd like to make that claim If it's unsalted it tastes good. If it's over salted you throw up you throw up you throw up once and if you eat it unsalted Or a fully salted fry you throw up once But the second I'm in the SMS M mouth play Every fry has a has a particular in different mouth play. Okay. Do you understand? Yes I it's funny. I love you saying this because you brought up the spring and the curly cue the curly cue It's so bouncing you bounce it in your fingers and you bite it. Where do you bite the curly cue the spring I? I bite it as if I'm a beaver fighting each way long Like a hammer. Yes. Yes, bro and the third in an SMS is survivability This is a fries propensity to survive in the bag survive over time Be something that you think will still be good in a few seconds and if in a few hours Because if you get a fry and survivability also covers Variants so survivability also covers things like hold on I just took a fry out of the bag and it was delicious I took another fry out of the bag and it was like crunchy and bad and like burnt like what is the consistency of these fries? How do you measure this? Oh my what an idiotic thing that I'm gonna be here for hour you cover the entrepreneurial ship I will cover survivability because I have a I have a a sense for these Business acumen. We are this is if we take this long on every five this is going to take forever more explainer system Let's just take out the double the large fries What the fuck did you do man? I know I shouldn't be out large as she gets small from now on a few curly a few curly So I got it. I do love this. I do love across They're starting to play they're starting to play when they play when they play. Okay. I'm gonna try curly No, we should try the same fries. Yeah, of course. We should okay now. This is a fresh one bite jack in the box fry I Mean it's kind of what you I guess expect when you think french fry there. Can I can I can and can I be vulnerable? We can't you can you absolutely can it is a little dirt to it There's a little dirt to it. You do taste the dirt to it. I think it tastes like the box that came in a little bit Maybe that's the dirt. I don't like how he's looking at me for one He won't fuck. There's something mute about these fries It's not lack of salt has enough salt. There's something missing vacant in the jack in the box fry They're they are perfectly salty. I'll say they have quite a good amount of salt even you could dare even say slightly too much I'd like to move on to curly fries. I want to see I want to contrast. I want to taste it. You want to feel like you? No, I don't I can't see I don't see it. Let's just look for a strong roll Let's look first. Dump it. Dump it in there Dump it in the bag. This this Lamber guinea's gonna It's gonna stink and like your mouth after the chat or not yours. That would be an appropriate Not a single spring I see this is the thing about high variance, right? Our curly cues all or sorry our curly fries all inherently high I think so. I do think so and here you go. Well, that's not really the mind. I give you kind of a weak fry. All right. Let's do it When I was a kid, you know what man a classic taste when I was a kid I would fucking I would slime out a kid on the playground for just one more I would crack it I would crack the teachers head like a water bomb if I could do it when when you finish the container fries and you look it for a bag fry And you find one it and you can touch it and you're like it's still warm the heart is still beating on this one And I'll say this about jack in the box there. I think they've had decades to Refined their craft of the curly fries. These are unbelievable. I think they're great. You're unbelievable Maybe and I'm willing to accept this. Maybe I'm a slut. Maybe I'm a dirty little slut for curly fries Maybe that's true, and maybe this is mid for curly fries but God damn it, I love 'em. These are sauce shovels, bro. - These are sauce, let me have one. - They're sauce shovels. - There's just no way they're sauce shovels. - 'Cause like the high variance tier implies that there is a ceiling that they are not reaching. - Fine, close your eyes. - Imagine yourself, you're sitting at the lunch tables. No, you type of guy you were in school. You're sitting maybe on the ground 'cause you don't have access to a lunch table. You're not popular enough. And one of your homies who can drive, the only homie you have who can drive pulls up to lunchtime. He left campus for lunchtime and he comes back and he's got some jack-in-the-box fries. Not curly, just straight. And he pulls one out and he's about to put it in his mouth and you go, dude, please could I have a French fry? And he's like, you know what, man? You let me copy your homework last week. That was really cool. Here's a French fry. He handed to you, place it on your tongue. You chew it, you play. You let it play. Is that a sauce shovel? Tell me it's a sauce shovel. - Yes. - Wow. - Yes, bro. - You look sniss. - I don't lick sniss. - You lick sniss. - I would never lick sniss. - I think these are, I think these are sauce shovels. You know, we can meet in the middle. - These are fine French fries. I don't like fine. - Guys, we're in Taco Bell and we're gonna be getting the Nacho fries. - Okay. - And I know what you're thinking about Nacho fries. You're thinking, isn't that a meal based on the system that we've created? The Nacho cheese is served on the side in a container, a tincture. And the fries themselves are completely separated. So. - I'll tell you this. It's an extremely important distinction and that distinction is enough to put Taco Bell in this running. - We had to put Taco Bell in the running. - Because if the Nacho fries came with the sauce embedded onto them, we wouldn't be here in this drive-thru. And that's on dear ears. - Hi, could I just get one order of the Nacho fries? One medium diet, Baja Blast, it's for me. - Click it this ball, click it this ball. - And actually two medium diet, Baja Blast. - How would you make my immediate rate? - Why are you making everything so big? - Did you donate money? - Okay, thank you. - Don't upgrade me from a Lamborghini. - What do you want from me? - You look crazy, you look crazy. It would look like if we're in a Lamborghini. - I said, no, don't round me up actually. Don't round me up. - You upgrade me from a smaller, medium diet. - We hit Rich earlier this morning. We hit him. - Yeah, we beat the shit out of Rich. We slammed in the fuck out. And then we started calling him Richard. That's your name now. - That's your name. - That's your name. - And we didn't get you, you were driving gloves 'cause you did so wrong. - I can't believe sausage shovel. Is that our final verdict? What do we do if we disagree? - We could put it to an RPS. I mean, hi variance. - Hi variance is a weird category, man. 'Cause now I'm thinking we need to rethink it. Now I'm thinking like in and out and dropping the box in the same category. Like, you know what I mean? - It's hi variance. - It's hi variance. - This is the pain of the fry. This is what everyday Americans deal with. The pain of a hi variance fry. That's why it's important to distinguish. - That is just so scary to me, Slime. You're scaring me. - I don't mean to scare you, but I don't know what you're doing. - Hey, hey, what is he doing? What's that guy doing? You can't see him, but he just walked up to the window and handed the guy a tincture. - That guy in a guerrilla's t-shirt handed that man a tincture. We may be in for a poisoning. - We were at this thing. - And entrepreneur, dude, we saw a guy muing at us. We said, don't mue it a billionaire. - Don't mue it a billionaire. We are fucking billionaires. We are geniuses in the Lamborghini. - Sorry, I'm a genius billionaire. You're not allowed to mue. - Stop closing the cup holder. - Shut the fuck up. - I'm sorry about my friend. Thank you so much, bro. - Don't yell. - Can you not? - Don't yell swear. - You're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me in front of people. - I can't hear you anymore. - I don't care. Because I'm a billionaire entrepreneur. And so are you. And we need to treat each other like so. These are words for rich. Okay. - I think God you said something on the front of getting a blah, blah, blah. 'Cause you know I wanted one so bad. Diet? You filthy bitch. - No, it's really good. - Really? - Have you never had one? - I have not. - It tastes the same. They fucking, they did crazy. There is an alchemic reaction that we will eventually pay for. But for now, enjoy it. - Richard, please do not hit this lady with the umbrella and the Trader Joe's bag. - Richard, maybe you can do what you want. You're in a Lambo. - Slime, may I say, I am one very excited about the Nacho fries. - Really? - Yeah, I'd like to crack one right now. I'd like to give it a play. - We can crack it. - I'd like it. - That place is just called Gain Time. - That place is called Trigger Nomics. I don't know anything, it's going. Diana's furniture. - Have you ever been to a psychic? We just passed one. - Never. But I heard their friends were selling drugs. - No. - Actually, there's so many. - Whoa. - Think about it. - What if the drug is understanding your future and I'm addicted? - No, it's like real drugs, like Benzo's. - Oh, fair enough. - All right, Taco Bell, Diet Baha last. - Is that a case? - Isn't that amazing? - Here's the thing, this isn't a french fry. I don't want to get it confused for a french fry. - Oh. - Look at the gradient. - It hits like absolute, it's green, by the way. - It's like absolute fucking crack. It is just delicious. Give me a Nacho fry. - I will. - So, take a look at these guys. They're thick and they're heavy. - And guys, we got a straggler. Uh oh. - That looks delicious. - It does look delicious. Dude, okay, I'm gonna take one. Dude, it's neon orange. - Nacho fry now. Obviously, we're not using the cheese. We can observe the cheese. - We can observe the cheese. - Not interested in using the cheese. - We will not be playing with the cheese. And now, we take a bite. - Oh my goodness. - Oh goodness. - Oh goodness me. Slime. - Richard, please try one. - I like it. - So rich. So rich is vegan. And we were talking on the way where you're driving and he's like, dude, Jack in the box. He's been meeting for a long time. He's like, Jack in the box tacos. The meat was so low quality that it was technically vegan. - That's so disgusting. - And I was like, that is crazy. - These are great, man. - These are unbelievable. - These are really, really, really good. And you remember when we went to the movie theater to try the nachos? - Yeah. - And we put a hot Cheeto in this. - Yeah. - But I feel like putting this in the nachos is a lethal combination of flavors. - What if we allowed them to play just for, we don't consider it in our rating? What if we first rate it? - We need to rank it. - We rate it and then it gets locked and then we just, we just attempt to play a little just so we can see what it's like. - I think these are amazing. - You know what I feel about nacho cheese, man? - I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. And I would never withhold this from you. We're entrepreneurs. - We have to share our ideas with Claude now. And we're both-- - Claude knows many of our-- - And we're utilizing it in the stride. We're creating all sorts of LLN algorithm type things. - I think they're coded. - These are amazing. - Sorry guys. - These are amazing. - These are amazing. - Where did we settle on Jack in the Box? Because I feel like we didn't really-- - We didn't settle. We said we could meet in the middle. - Or do we want-- This is what I'll say. We either have to create a new category that is between high variance and a soft shovel. Or they need to be in high variance. - I don't know what to do. - High variance is a good category of satisfying for the YouTube. - High variance is a perfect C tier, actually. We need one above high variance. - Okay, so between high variance and coded, we have almost there. That sounds a meaning. It's fucking A. This is A tier. - Yeah, but Jack in the Box is not-- We're not putting Jack in the Box in A tier. I will break this. We're putting it in high variance in this new world. You understand? - What even goes in A if it's not a goat? Like, I guess maybe-- - Now it's high variance. So that's the one that's on our minds. I developed this system for us, entrepreneurs. - But they're so-- Here's the thing about the Jack in the Box fry. They're crispy. They're not soggy. A soft shovel is like, they're literally soft shovels, bro. That's what they're for. - I'm eating a Jack in the Box fry. - They're handling their business, but they're for sauce. - Be honest with yourself. In the Lambo. - Soft shovel. Soft shovel. - Thank you. - Now please. - Now please. No place to the main event. - No, no, no. We can try the nacho cheese. Now, question for you. - If the guy we were renting this Lamborghini truck saw what the fuck was happening in it, he would be wanted to kill us. - Yeah, Rich said it was like this 18-year-old Russian kid or something, which is kind of funny. This is doesn't count. This is for fun. - These do not need to play. - Surprisingly, this isn't as good as I thought it would be. - No, these do not need to play. These actually, the fries are better on their own. - Fries are better on their own. - Wow, interesting that nacho cheese actually took away Aura. - That is a very, it's like minus on hit. - And I'm a guy who knows a thing or two about nachos. The traditional style. - I'm gonna have one more of these and I'm doubling in the bag. - I'm gonna have, what a pleasure. - I'm gonna have one more. - What a true pleasure. Now, after this debate and after this entrepreneurial meaning of the minds that we had, are we keeping the tier list as is? - Yes, no, yes, yes, no. No. 'Cause the leap from high variance to goaded, what we are looking for in fries is consistency. - The tier would be great, right? Which is not a fun word. - No, it's not. - The tier would be great. - Which I think there is a value in this fry, you can count on it. And these fries, sometimes you can count on them. And these fries are for sauce, and these fries, you can't count. - Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me pitch you. Goaded? Good goons. High variance. Sauce shovels, inedible. - Okay. - Okay. - These are like, these are like- - I'm gonna fill up on this right now. - Okay, you have a wrap. - You have a wrap. - How many did you grab? - These are goaded. - So wonderful, bro. - They just did it. - These are unbelievably good. - Good job. - Guys, if this is the worst episode we ever do, just fucking drop a like anyway. - Drop a like for us, bro. - Please, man, drop a like and support, bro. - What do you want us to do? Sitting in that fucking room all day alone, just us two talking about fucking whatever. I don't know what happens on the LSF or Jack and off, and fucking playing with each other's nuts and stuff. No, man, we gotta do something, we gotta explore. - We're in a Lambo, bro. - Kill you. - Wopper, Wopper. Oh god, oh god, the Nacho Fry service. - Is it like Jungle Boat or Wopper? - Wopper, Wopper, Wopper, Wopper. The one where it says I show speeds full address in IP. You see that one? Where it's like Wopper, Wopper, Chicken, Wopper. You live at 1, 2, 5, 6, Elm Lane and your IP address, it's pretty good. - I gotta, we gotta problem. What about chicken fries? - Chicken fries, cold beer on a Friday night. Dude, do you get, you have to order them. - Yeah, we have to order them. - I don't know, I don't know. - No, not on your rings, they're not fries, never mind. 'Cause I think rings are not fries. - Hello? - What is happening? - It's making like a scary video game sound. - Yeah. - It's making a silent hill. - It's making the sound that like goes hunter's devices is making in the TV shows. It's like creaking like a Geiger counter. - Hello? - Yeah, it's gonna be awful. - Yeah, sorry. Okay, can I just get a small fries? The chicken fries, is a small chicken fries? Thank you. - This is going to be a very controversial moment of the episode, is that the fry guys implied that chicken fries are as valid as the eyes. - We're just kidding, is that you, the eyes spies? - Was my little fucking, guys? - Recharter on some logic, can you do the laughing thing? - No, it's okay. - No sauce, man, no sauce, it's a misunderstanding of what we're here to do. And yes, yes, it's a Lamborghini, sir. Yes, we're in a Lamborghini. - It's like we're inside a big mountain, dude. - And we've already put fries on the floor. - Rich's Chick-fil-A on your list. - Do you want a picture of the fries? - Do you want me to strike you? (laughing) - Recharter, please present your face to me. (laughing) Guys, we're a Burger King. - The thing is, we should be on the list. All right, let's get going, bro. All right, so. - Please don't start with the chicken fries. - Of course not, come on. So, something about Burger King fries. Now, Burger King, historically in my life, has been the grossest shit in the world. I hate Burger King, I've never liked it. I've thrown up after eating it as a kid. We had a Burger King in our town, and it was really miserable, man. It was bad goods. Now, these fries, they're a thicker. They're trying to establish themselves as fries, guys. We're getting a little thick. Go ahead, sorry. I mean, that teased you. - I was being teased. - Sometimes you teased your business partner. - And the good thing about having the diet ball hop last. Now, here's the thing. If you smell them, they actually do not smell like food. - This is very interesting. - This smells like a building. - That is a great description. - It smells like a building. - Please, pass to Richard. - Richard, please smell the fry. - He likes the crunch. - Now, wait, wait, it smells like paint. - I'll give Rich some content. Like, being a vegan guy, your options are limited for especially fast food and shit, right? So, you end up eating a lot of fries. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, BK, BK. - BK, no, no, no, no, no. - I'm out of you, we'll play. - I don't know, man. I don't know how I feel about this. I think there was initial bite, initial crunch, like Richard said. But now, there's an aftertaste. - There's so interesting, my guess is that they are not fried in the oil that the fries we've had previously are fried, are they fried? Like, I think fries are fried in peanut oil very commonly and also. - Something about these fries and the way they look is why I showed you the camera. They look as if they've been in the bag a long time. And these are fresh out the oven. And I think that's really bad. - These are good though. - No, dude, I think these are terrible. - They do, I am, these are grotesque to me. - I just took a bite of one, as you said, they're terrible. And I got like an instant flash of like an old creaking home. But I think, I think that these took me somewhere that they came from, where they came from. - I bit into one of these and then I had memories flashback of having a doll soft and worn. (laughing) - That I'd never remembered before. I don't know if I've ever had a bird. - Did we get swiped? - Rich. - Oh, I thought we got the side swiped. - Oh, rich, you bastard. - Richard, I would have struck you. - Richard, fucking fuck is, god damn it. - These are getting hard carried by the fact that they are really nicely crunchy. Like that one was too salty. - They have a great mouth play. I'd reckon to say that their survivability is medium at best. - I feel like they're deteriorating in my hands as we talk. - But their salt content's also good, they hit the SMS. - No, I think it's too much. - I had one with crazy salt. - But the problem SMS is not accounting for the fact that they smell and taste like an old house. - I implore you, if you're bored and you have some bread, go to Burger King and get the fries and just smell what they're like. - Just a sniff and throw them away, man. - You would be shocked at how hard it is to describe. - It's more like school. - I think that these must be placed into high variants, bro. - I don't think that- - Now that we have good goods. - It allows. - I kind of, do I like them? - I don't like them. I'll say this. - I'll say this. - I don't even like them. - And I've never, in variants, accounts for time, I've never had fries from Burger King that I have like thought about, wow, wow. So these can only be ketchup shovels, sauce shovels at best. - But these are better than the Jack in the Box straight fries. They just hit like a house. - I don't think they are. - This is so interesting. - You just don't think they are. - We have two different- - I'll get you know what? I've fought really hard for Jack in the Box to be where they are. You can take this one, but I want it on the record. - I'm gonna say they are, oh my God though, but now I'm back on like, in an outpriced being high variants. - It is, we really did kind of build the tier list around them. 'Cause we have to. - I'm the one who's talking about fries. - No, I'm stooping down to your level. I'm stooping down to your level. These are sauce shovels. I hate to say it, but I'm really just thinking to you. - I'm thinking about like- - Give it to you. - I would eat the, I would eat the rest of these. - These are crazy. - The way that these are trying to encroach on my heart and my brain, it's a cheap path. - It is a, let us just hide the fact that inside of them is an old creaking home. On the outside, painting on a fried salty exterior that attempts to hide. - You bind it and you hear just a laughter. - It goes, it goes, it goes, (screaming) So I will give you sauce shovel, but the very top, the very, very top of sauce shovel. Because they're just, they're using the cheat codes so they're advantage, they are really well salted. Whoa, so guys, this isn't part of the challenge. - The keeper's surprise. It's the keeper's surprise. - They have included a few stray fries in the chicken fry bag. - Look what they did. - Now, so I'm, as a past connoisseur of the Burger King, someone who used to go a lot as a kid, I have had a lot of chicken fries. Can I age myself here or date myself? I remember when these came out. - Wow. - Do you remember when they came out or were you too young but yet? - I don't know if I could walk or speak or think yet. - They came out post 9/11. I'm gonna say start to 2005, something like that. There was a guy I worked with at Land Rover, his name was Justin. - A vat of crude oil spilled over a farm. And the chicken's just a murder. - A murder just fried. - Justin got chicken fries most days. - Wow. He was a little fucked up for it. - Yeah. - I think it changed just DNA strands. - Well, he likes it. - So we used to go to a melee tournament, a melee weekly called the balcony, it's actually how I kind of, in a roundabout way, like met all my friends that I would eventually, I met a lovely guy at a tournament called The Bigger Balk, which was thrown by the balcony at my college. And they famously decorated their home with boxes of chicken fries. - Really? - To and fro, they stapled them to the walls of that decrepit. - Honestly, that house was probably where the smell of the Burger King fries came from. - They had a cat. They had a cat named Naruto and it was like, a 40 pound cat. - It was a 40 pound cat that smelled like weed. - It was cool. - Why does your cat smell like weed? - That cat was like, it was like a pug. - They're shorter than I remember. Look at that. It looks like a mozzarella stick. - It does. It's got bounce to it. - Not the smell I expect at all. - It smells like the fries, bro. - It smells like a fish. - No, it doesn't. You're putting things in your mind. It smells like the fries, bro. - All right, well. - One bite, you know the vibe. - This is awesome. - Dude, these are fucking terrible. - This is like. - Maybe we put chicken fries on there just to have something in the lowest tier. - These are going on in an edible. These are disgusting. - These are the worst. - You know when your vegan homie comes to town and he's like, dude, I can't wait to go to like Big Joe's vegan truck and get any of these awesome tofu fries. I've heard they're the best. And this is always what it is. It's like, dude, just eat fucking normal food. - The spice is coating. It's definitely playing despite, but it's a one-away play. You know how kids parallel play? - Look at how they try to entice you. Look, there's fries in here, too. - They're like rubber. - Dude, they're really gross. This is. - Dude, I remember eating as a kid and loving them. What happened? I have no love for Burger King in my heart. It's crazy to think that it still hasn't changed. Maybe I have like a cilantro gene for Burger King. - What? - I'm willing to accept things like this. Maybe something is wrong with me. But Jesus Christ. - There's something about those chicken fries, man. They brought up bad memories. - Yeah. - I started being attacked by bad memories. (laughing) I'm gonna wash it down with a palette cleanser. For the audio listeners, it's a diabolist. - You know what, try a bag fry. Bag Burger King fry, try a bag fry. - Dude, we have to save some room. - Try a bag fry. Any difference? - Oh my god. - Oh no. - Oh my god. - Maybe it's terrible. - Oh wow. - Wait, I don't know. Before you eat a bag fry, take a big sip of barha blast and then eat a bag fry. I am not getting so high. I'm not trying to be funny for the fucking thing we do. It is one of the most interesting tastes. - I'm not finding what you're finding. - You're not finding my finding. - It tasted like I licked the fucking shingles of a rooftop. - I don't know what you're saying. - It tasted fucking crazy. - I believe you. I didn't find that. - That is so disgusting, man. - Okay, does this color you're feeling on Burger King fries? The bag fry was this fucking fucked up and weird. And it's scary. - They're saw shovels. They guarantee they're not at the top. That was disgusting, which has happened to me. - It did happen to me. - And what did I tell you? This was, it's been like four minutes, bro. They deteriorated so quickly. - The friability is low. I knew something on the SMS scale must have been off. I just hadn't had enough time. - They calibrate. - They calibrate. - Truly. - So low survivability, high salt content. - And bad mouth play. Because the mouth play is reminding me of going to grandma's house. - Yeah. - And she made me fucking dress her. - When you go to mean grandma's house. - I gotta go mean grandma's house. She has no candy in her purse. She makes me fucking get her undressed before bed. I gotta be there. - Dude, dude. - My dad, okay. So he lived with his old German lady named Hella. And it was like, he lived in a two bedroom apartment. That was his roommate. My dad was kind of guy who had roommates in his middle age. And I would stay with him in the summer. And hella one time, she would get fucking crazy wine drunk. And she had dentures. And one time she was arguing with my dad. - No. - And he was all drunk. And she screamed. And there it was like a fun argument. She yelled so loud her dentures blew out of her mouth onto the ground. - Imagine they flew out and then they went into his mouth and he wore them. (laughing) - And then he got the shinigami eye. (laughing) - All right, all right, all right, all right. Jolly bee. - Wait, I have to say really quick. We have not been asking, I made a rule. We have to ask if they have merch every time. And if they have merch, we have to buy it. I don't think the places we've been have had merch, I think we've gotten lucky. And Jolly bee is where I made me think of it 'cause they have an awesome logo. Please show the logo. - Look at him. - Isn't that cute? - That's the Jolly bee. - And yes, you're your local Filipino friend. When you mentioned Jolly bee, he's like, yeah, this is what he got, he's awesome. It's Jolly bee. It's Filipino food, okay? - Yeah, they swear up and down. They'll come at you fast and heavy with a flat brimmed hat. And they'll say, this is the best food in the world. - Zip. You need to try a chicken fry. - Have you had a chicken fry? Dude, (laughing) - It's differently, okay, more of a chicken fry. - Unmoved. It's disgusting. - He's like an iron fortress. - It got pressed out of the zipper, like a shredder. (laughing) - Yeah, it made the facts machine, so. His mouth is like Ludwig's mind. Mm. - All right, so Jolly bee. Well, I'm gonna be honest, the only time I've ever interacted with this brand is when I do things like this. - I have never been to a Jolly bee. - You've grew up in so-called too. - Yeah. - Which is pretty crazy. - I've had access to Jolly bee. - It's less prevalent for my understanding at Orange County, but I have never been to one. There's a small bag inside the bag. - Bag inside the bag. - There's a small bag inside the bag. - And I wanna point towards the uniformity. - Oh, I don't like the shininess. - There's a uniformity. - I need it, I don't know if it's gonna show on camera. They're, and they're not hot. - No. - They're not hot. - They're not hot. - They're hot. - It's too warm. - There's too much sun. - No, it's very shiny. - There is a shininess to these. There is a, they glisten. - They glisten, and I'm not looking, I don't think it's gonna be great, but we're gonna take a bite of the Jolly bee French right now. - Oh. Home. There was a home in there. - There's a home. - Do you taste it? There's a home in here. - You're tasting, you're talking about the old building smell that is also present in Burger King. - Yes. - I did smell it. - It's subtle. - I did smell it. - I've just been changed by Burger King fries. - I have a feeling that Rich loves these. - I do too. - And that's why we were taking him. - He was insisting on Jolly bee. Yes bro, we'll go to Jolly bee. Yes bro, get in the Lambo now. - These are sauce shovels, through and through. The definition, the very definition. - You know how like, not the smell, 'cause the smell is something we often associate, but like the feel and the experience of a bowling ball or bowling alley shoe. - I thought you were going to say bowling alley fries. - Well, just similar, 'cause I didn't touch the shoes. - I'll say this, bowling alley fries to me are the same as convention center fries, and those are both inedible horrors. - Which are the same as mini golf fries. They all order from the same distributor. - It's like the same Cisco, like bottom of the line, like cheapest. - Fucked up Al's fries, that kill you. For me this is going promptly in the sauce shovel category. - Here's the thing though, I know I'm splitting hairs here, I'm not trying to debate this. - Please split hairs. - You say sauce shovel. Those are stormtrooper outfits. What the fuck is going on? I don't care. I don't care. - For Shard, if you crash the Lambo truck, you will be-- - No, it's stormtroopers. It's gonna take me down. - It's right, we know you love Star Wars, it's our bad. We Shard loves Star Wars. - He loves Star Wars. - That's how we pay him. We pay him in trinkets and figurines. - Yeah, for those reasons we got him jammies. He's a very thin. - I like thin fries. - Really? I like thin fries. - I like thick fries. - You like thick fries? - I do. - Weird bitch. - I like thin fries because here's the thing. You understand, to me, what makes a fry likely to be high variance is oil content. How likely are they to become soggy? How lucky are they to be soggy when you get them? And the second thing is how thick are they? Because the thicker a fry is, the more potato you get. Instead of just fried outer potato skin, right? Are you following? - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - And the more just raw potato in the middle you get, the more variance there is for how the quality of that potato. So when they're thicker, if the potato itself is not a great potato, then you're getting a worse fry and you're getting more of it compared to the crunchy outer shell that we pretty much all like because it's just fried oil. - Right, of course, it's meant to be. - It's meant to be enjoyed, it's highly palatable. Now let me throw a wrench into your whole system and your whole world view. - Oh, the wrench is in. - The wrench is flying at you fast and here can you catch it? - What are potato wedges? Are they fries? - Potato wedges are fries. Yeah, well, 'cause what else is the, I guess you could say they're wedges, but wedges are-- - We call them wedges. - Wedges are a subcategory of fries. It was a marketing ploy, I think, potentially invented by KFC, but probably before it. A curly fry is not the shape of a normal fry and just because it's called a fry. It's not making it more of a fry. - Curly wedges, is it possible? - That would be so interesting, it wouldn't be a wedge. - It sounds like something like an AI image could generate, but that we wouldn't actually see. - The shape of a wedge is, it could be wedged. - I think a wedge implies thickness no matter what. A wedge more is about thickness than it is about a wedge. - You got a bitch bad enough, a wedge doesn't imply thickness. (laughs) Come on, I don't know. - I'm so fucking sick of Aiden. - Oh, me too. - But now though, he's so excited about going to Sweden that he got a Swedish phone. And he has, the Swedish phone is so annoying. - And his Swedish discord and he has, he has Swedish slack and he has, he has Swedish texting. - Dude, the characters that he uses to type, it's like little hieroglyphics of like a fish. All the emojis are only white guys. They don't even have the yellow option. - That is standard, it's weird that it defaults to that. - And so I thought of a solution. I think the only way, 'cause we're gonna have to continue the business in some way once he goes. I think the only way is for us to all get quo. - Today's episode is brought to you by Quo. I spelled Quo, the smarter way to run your business communications, which we will need to use, because being able, 'cause he is obstinate about this and he is very arrogant as well. And it means that we're gonna have to use some sort of service that can communicate with him effectively while he keeps sending the white people thumb up. - And we're like, just, can you, is there a way to mod it? - You can mod it. - Use the default one. You don't need to signal that you are being, if you're not aware, by the way, Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews, and it's built from modern teams like ours. We're a very modern team. And more than 90,000 businesses from solar operators to growing teams rely on Quo to stay connected. We're very soon gonna need to rely on something, 'cause this has gone too far. - Yeah, there's like one shared number and it's eight in stupid number. And then we can, whenever we need to talk to him about cutting him out of the Patreon and cutting him out of all these things that he was a part of, but now he's not anymore, this will be really helpful. - It'll be text, voicemails, transcripts, and contact details all live in one clean view. So money is online, by the way. If you didn't realize that, always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com/theard. That's quo.com/theard. And we thank them for sponsoring the episode. - You know, depending on where this will be in the episode, we might have already thrown up. - Yeah, we might have thrown up. - I'm trying to chart where, it might be, and if not, stay tuned. - Stay tuned, it's gonna get crazy y'all. - We just pulled into a KFC. - KFC, speaking of fucking potato wedges. - Now, hot ranch loaded wedges, that's a meal, we're not getting that. - Well, we were not getting the meal. - You guys just had a french fries? - Third. - Yes, sir. - Can I just get some small french fries? And, that's it. - I think they have potato wedges. - Actually, you have potato wedges, dude. Can I get those as well? - I love it, I love it, yes, sir. - Got up. - There's no way-- - I do like me, yes, sir. - That's okay, I'll be really far away. (laughing) - Any sauce as a wedges or a french fries? - No sauce, thank you. - The next time I'm this far away from a building, I'm fucking, I'm gonna crash this car. I'm gonna reach over and crash this car. - Thank you. - Thank you so much. All right, so, something to talk about here, is that these came out instantly. - That is scary. - I know. The batch was done, and it was waiting for us. - It was done, and then an indeterminate amount of time, Nick, do you smell what the car smells like? - All right, now it smells like the building. - It smells like the building. - I don't like this. - It won't leave. - It's like they're all using the same oil. - We can't throw away the bag though, it's the bag. - This? Okay, you look into this bag, I'm gonna show them, and then I'm gonna show you. This looks disgusting. - I'm busy. - Oh my god. - It looks like your boy's meat. - Yes, bro, like a poorly lit picture of your boy's meat. - And he's trying to hold it next to like a gatorade bottle, but it's a gatorade mini. - That's the kernel. - I like the box. They've made an illusion at the top. - Ooh, that's fun. - Ooh, that's fun. - That's fun. - Please observe the illusion. They've tried to make it look like it has a shadow, a drop shadow on the edge. - I love it. - To imply that this is a higher quality. - Like a premium. - Like a premium plastic box. This is paper. - It's like getting a cigarette, and it's fucking back. - Whoa. Whoa. - I'm traveling through. - I'm traveling into flavors. - I won't lie. - I'm just swimming through the flavors. - When I walked up to the first taste of this fry, when I walked up, I was walking into a house. I tasted the home. It was the first thing they had my tongue. But as I entered the home, there was no house inside. I entered the home, and there was just a portal to seasoning and sauces and spices. I think I saw the kernel. - You think the kernel's in here? - I'm gonna visit him. - You think the kernel's in these fries? - Trying to visit him. - The house. - There it is. - Hmm, there he is. - You see him? - What's he saying? - I saw him. He's saying, "Please, I invite you." I invite you into play and try it. Please, try it. And when I was in my 50s, I almost killed myself, and then I started KFC. True story, look it up. - And to this day, it's more closely guarded than state level students. - These are good. - I think you're kind of blown away by something I'm not finding. - Try it, try it. - I've tried it. - Try it again. - No, not that one. Don't try it. Never have a fry with a pointy edge. This is not the type of fry you reach. Look at that. Look at that edge. - I mean, like this. - Yeah. There's another pointy, but he had the right side. Play. Thanks. Explore. Please. - Mr. Jim, opening all the door of cupboards. - It's better, okay, I'll say this. It carries this sort of fear of this house taste that we have found is building that is absent and vacuous. But it is the best of all of these. This is very edible fry. I could eat these without sauce. I can say that. And I will be brave enough to say that. - These are good goons. These are good goons. - I'll call, I'll get, yes. - Because I want to finish the box. - We're going to finish the box. - No, we won't. We will fill up. We will not do that. Young man. And we have something else to try. - The wedges are not going to be good. - These look crazy. - Okay, also. iPhones making it look really good. They look washed out. - Yeah. - When I get their shot in log. - They do look like your buddy who had like a skin graph. So when I was a kid, let me, let me please, before you try. - No, it's a smile. - It's a smiley face, before you try. I have expertise here. - Sure. - When I was a kid once again, I used to do it at a KFC quite a lot. I lived pretty close to a KFC. I would get the chicken box combo with the mashed potatoes and the mac and cheese and potato wedges, okay? - A lot of food for a kid. But I basically didn't gain weight for the first time until I was like 24. So I had some time. Potato wedges have variants within one box by a large margin, okay? I implore you to find the thinnest wedge. - Oh yeah, yes, yeah, yeah. - You do not want to take a thick wedge. A thick wedge is just eating a fucking potato. - It's very dry. - It's dry. - It's got like a mashed potato center kind of thing going on. - This is a potato wedge. - That's a great wedge. - Find one. Find one that suits you. - It suits me. It's got a bubble, I like bubble. - Yeah, the bubbles are fine. Not everyone likes bubble, I like bubble. - I have these a lot. This is how old I am, bro, at the grocery store. It was $3 for a pound of potato wedges. Uh-oh, let me try it. - Oh my God. - I'm getting fruity notes. - Are you getting the fruit? - Cascara. I'm getting herbal nuttiness, I'm getting a chocolatey. No, I'm just getting home. - It's like a, what's that one coffee? It's like, your sill or something. - The hell? - Gayschef. - Your gayschef. - Your gayschef. - You taste the gayschef. - This is the closest I've tasted to actual dirt. - It's pretty gross. - It tastes like dirt. - Dude, it's so interesting. I don't know if I could go as far as I say that they are inedible, but there's no sauce for these. - The levels are turned all fucking on this. The salt's really high. The dirt levels has turned really high. The tasteful oils are all tuned low. - These are everything those wish they could be. - Is it just the format, like the shapes? Is that what's due in making it different here? They season them differently. The potato quality is, like I said, the potato quality is low. - Eating these is like, it does feel like, ah man, I mean, I bought them. That's what it feels like, eating these. - These are a break from mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. That's all they are. Or something to dip into mashed potatoes, which kill yourself if you're doing that. These are-- - Yeah, that's too much. - These are the top of an edible. - Top of an edible? Yeah, I'll give you this, bro. They're pretty bad. You know why I say it edible? I mean an edible kind of in a different way. They're not an edible in that, like, I couldn't eat another. I could eat another. They're an edible in that I will never for the rest of my life order them. Never. - Yeah, also, in edible in the way that if your buddy, just like Christian has some KFC and his desk, and you're like trying to bum a wedge. - I'm not trying to bum a wedge. - You can have that. - They will not be edible eaten by me for the rest of my life that in a way makes them an edible, but they're not an edible in the sense that they just, they taste so horrible I could not eat another. - Yeah, I'm with you, man. These are really bad. - Oh, this is, I know we're going to the habit. No, that's all right, sorry. We're going to five guys, sorry. What, five guys? - Five guys, burgers and fries. So five guys gets a lot of guff, and rightfully so, for, basically, if you get five guys-- - Am I dumping these? - If you want to eat them, you can eat them. - You already ate most of them. You just, I was like four fries. - Oh my, I'm not trying to make the noises. - I'm so mad. - It's still going, actually. - Five guys, if you order it, you get like, you know, you're pretty much like taking out a payday loan. - Can we take a small break? Just so I can ask you a question, how do you feel? - I feel, it's like-- - That's what Carlo did. - The transigant curse from the flamming skulls. - Yeah. - Dude, I feel gross. Like, I am fine. - I'm already starting to feel very gross. - I feel a little fatigued, like a little tired, but I think maybe I just didn't get a lot of sleep. - Okay, I'm not kidding. I'm gonna roll the window down for two seconds. I can't smell anything but the house. - I think something happened to you. - No, dude. - Maybe you're just near the like, the mega fries. - It's the bag. It is the bag. - It's the bag of mega fries. This is so far, the bag of mega fries. What's that in there? - It's a very enemy. We'll both grab a fistful and eat with it. - Look at the mega fries. It looks crazy. - Oh my God, why is that gross to me? It's like when you see like a, I think we've talked about this before. It's like, I love ranch. I don't wanna see five gallons of it. - Yeah, you know what I mean? - No one needs to see a fat of anything you eat. I have a request to whoever runs in and gets our five guys. Please, could I get a water? I'm starting to feel the salt content. - Childish. - The mouth play. - The thing about, and I'll say this, from one entrepreneur to another. - Please, I'm listening 'cause I have to listen to your findings. - I think it's important to be able to withstand pains as an entrepreneur. - Here's the thing. I'm trying to be fair to the fry because when you think about your first fry, you're well hydrated. And then all that salt enters your body, you'd be hydrated. - Yeah, it does, it does empty your mouth. - So for the next fry, I'm dehydrated. It's gonna be a lesser experience. The salt content is not gonna be. - There's a Baja Blast, not a refreshing oceanic beverage. - I think there's actually salt in this. I'm not kidding, I think there's salt in this. I'm not a scientist. We could go to the adult basic learning environment. - Dude, we are the adult basic learning environment. - We should's going now, bro. (laughing) - Remember people come up to you in the airport and be like, the stuff you talk about in the yard is like really low-key deep, bro. And you're like, what the fuck are you talking about? I think it's okay. - Do you ever have a conversation with like a normie or like anything where they go like, "Oh, what do you do?" And like you happen to answer honestly and you're like, "I do a podcast." And I'm like, "Oh, what's it about?" Have you ever asked that question? - Of all the time. - It's the first natural question. And I say it's comedy. - Yeah. - I go comedy. - Comedy. - Comedy pocket, you know what else you get a lot? What do you talk about? - Yeah. - And then it's a little more fluid. You're like, "Oh, do we just bullshit?" - This guy just looked at our Lamborghini and shook his head. - Like in disgust? - Richard pull over. - Richard, I have to fucking beat the shit out of that guy. - Maybe we should unleash the status. - We have to unleash the status. - What is he mad about? - I don't know. - Is he mad that we're like that? - He's mad that we're like, maybe he smelled the house. - Maybe he was this. - Maybe he was this. Maybe he was, oh. - He smelled the house. - A house. - The ultra fries. - Maybe he smelled the ultra bag. Oh my, dude, I feel insane. What? But the fries, they're surging me. - You are sensitive and you're weak. You have weak muscles and weak sponge-like bones. - Get it all out, man. Get it all out. What else do you wanna say? - As an entrepreneur, it's a liability. - You understand that? - What if we have to be, literally, what if we have to be in Hong Kong with seven businessmen and they're like, it's fry time and you're trying to tap out before the deal's closed? What are you doing? - You're right. You're absolutely right and I need to lock in. I'm so sorry. - I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. - It's okay, it's okay. I need to hear it, man. It feels like there's salt in every crevice of my throat and whenever a liquid goes down, the salt steals it. That's how it feels right now. - It's five guys and it's burgers and fries and guess what, they double bagged it and they got both times, right? - Oh, that's it. - Just like we're on the arts at Brodin' Fucking Listen. Yeah, you know what I mean? - I mean, we-- - Richard, we talked about it. - You have permission to strike. - You can strike zipper. - But you can't strike us. - Actually, zipper can also strike him. - Maybe both of you may strike. - Play in the front while you drive. - I want, I would like you to play. - I guess we could try this fry while we're waiting. - Yeah, we could. Okay, so something about-- - Did you hear my fucking water? - No. - I'm going to hurt him. - He gets back. - I don't know. - So something about five guys, burgers and fries, we're briefly touched on it, is that? It's a very expensive place to eat. I think their burgers are phenomenal. - I actually consider five guys, burgers and fries a treat every now and then. I'm a guy trying to lose weight, trying not to eat like a dog shit criminal. But I will, I will cave sometimes, I don't know if I've got burgers and fries. - And-- - Like five guys, you're getting five by the brain fries. - I am? - Wowsers, you not? - I do not. - I don't like five guys, I burger the fries. - Tell me why you don't. - So, here's the thing. I actually had the five guys, season fries, burgers and fries experience. I had the season fries, the cage and fries. - Yes. - 'Cause I love cage and I love cage and season. You go to wing stop, you get the cage and wings. You get the Louisiana rub. - You get a rub. You get a rub down. - I hate when all the wings are wet. I want some dry wings. - I need some dry wings, I need a rub. It's way less messy and you're gonna dip it in some ranch anyway, you'll get your wetness. - You'll get your wetness. - You'll get your wetness, you'll get what you need. I went there and when I opened the container, I can only describe it as like when you, I ever opened like a wing stop container and at the bottom is the juice. The bottom of the wings is the juice. And it's like all the oil and sauce that is just sat at the bottom and sank. - Yes. - Thank you. - Nice. - Oh, it's the most full water of all time. - Is it for got a small fry, right? - It's called a little fry. - It comes in two bags because of how crazy it gets. You wanna see some gore? - Oh God, right? - Okay. - That is fucking gross. - Why is it gross? This is what's within all fries. You know what the difference is? Bitch, they serve it in a paper cup that doesn't soak. And you think that this, that's somehow better than this. This is just showing what's really going on. - Entrepreneur. - This is the container. - There's literally, there's letting more in here. - They look like shit. - Why, they look very cajun as well. - Show the camera. Everything looks good on the camera because we're under a sunroof, okay? They look bad in real life. It's gonna smell like a chowder in here. We'll leave it. - It will be. - All right. I just love how their fries taste, bro. It's just weird. I don't know, they activate my almonds in a way that most doesn't. And I don't, I don't even particularly defending it and saying no, this is actually like a good S fry. These fries, these fries that they gave us are really soggy. - They are soggy. - This is not usually the case. They're little soggy. There's nothing like this soggy. - The guy that's not known for their, they're not known for their very crunchy exterior fries or not. They are known for a, I would say like kind of like a classic diner fry that is a little soggy. - There's just like this kind of burntness to that is baked in that I really enjoy. And another thing, personally. - It's very choice. - I love softer fries. I love softer, your curly cue, come on, bro. What we like about the curly cue is the density of the softness. - What we like about the curly cue is that you get to kind of bite into seven fries at once while only eating one fries. - It's acceptable. - It's acceptable. You cannot be judged. - You're breaking the rules a little bit. - Yeah, I don't like these. These are soft shovels to me. - You're fucking kidding me. - I immediately would like to dip these into ranch to make them edible for me. And I feel strongly and I will not budge. So your play, entrepreneur, your fucking play. Well, in previous tireless episodes, we have. - I use my one time. - And I use mine. - You can't, I use mine. - I use mine. - You can't use yours, I already use mine. - Well, what happens then? We go to rock paper scissors. - If I lose, can I keep my one time for a different fry? - No, 'cause you're putting it on the line. - Then I can say that. - Then I might as well just fucking not one time and then fall onto it and have power. - I'm using my power. I'm spending my power so you can save your power. Or you can feel so strongly that you want to gamble your power. - Well first, let me find out where you gonna put it. What tire you gonna put it, don't, you cannot put go to it. Are you gonna put go to it? - I don't know. - No, dude, no. - I can't, then challenge me. - Dude, you want me. - Then challenge me. This is the gamble of power. I'm putting my nuts on the line. - Okay, I'll hard read the chat to you. I will counter you. - You're gonna make me spend my one time and then also get rid of your own for this. - That's how much I like these fries. I'm sorry, I believe in something. - All right, we are going on shoot. - Well, best of one. - No, best of three. - Okay. - It's a best of three always. You need the information around. - Fine. - Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. - Rock. - Welcome to the top of the list. Five guys. - That is such bullshit, man. It is such a, it is literally a dog shit fry. I can't believe in the California guy. I am behind force to put out a fucking tear list that puts the most dog shit fries at the top. That is insane. - You gamble with your power. As an entrepreneur, one may not gamble their power if they're not confident that they'll succeed. - Now I have to eat the fucking other bulls fry. - So think about five guys. Burger fries is, there's two different types. There's cake and fries and then the normal fries. I actually think these are interchangeable. - These are fucking gross, man. You are so fucked. - These are even better. - This place is a box city. - Dude, I will do everything. - Hold on, hold on, hold on. - I will, I will Venmo you. - Wait, wait, wait. - We want $100. - To the most of the fries. - Call a big. Call a big. - I think he'll pick up. We can ask him what he thinks. We can get more input. - I will Venmo you $100 to take this off the top. - I don't want $100. I want the right thing to be on the right, tear. - You have too much money. - You have power over me. - I can't use money over you. - You can only use violence. And I'll fight back. - Hello? - Hey buddy, you got a second? - Yeah, what up? Me and Slime are doing the podcast. Slime wanted to ask you a question. - Hey bro. - Gun to your head. 44 Magnum. How do you feel about five guys fries? - Uh. - Big wet. - Wet? - They're wet. - They're a big wet. - They are a big wet, aren't they? - Do you like it wet? - Um, no. - I like it wet. - I wish I hadn't said that. - I wish I hadn't said it out loud. - I don't like it wet. - Okay, what would you, what would you letter grade to five guys fries? Both of you. - On like a S grade tear list. - Is there a 44 Magnum to my head? - Yeah, but it only goes off if you don't answer the question. - I sit there and I, and I, who's holding the Magnum? - Um, it's up. - The reincarnation of Charlie Kirk. - Charlie Kirk is holding the Magnum? - Yeah. - And he's in the Tony Stark Iron Man suit. (laughs) - It's keeping him alive. - Do I know it's him? - 100% yeah. - 100% yeah, there's no, I mean, you have been a little brainwashed by all the videos and you have to really stare and make sure, but it's definitely him. - Please don't let that influence your answer. - I think it does an influence. I think I still stay rock hard. It's well seasoned. - It is. - It wet. - It wet. - It's a lot of potato in it. I think it's got an argument for A. I think I probably end up A or B. - Okay. What do you think about slime not only putting S here, but then when I say, These are not S tier and I give them migrating, which we'll see. He forces to use his one time and then creates a rule that if we both use our one time, it's RPS and the other person loses theirs. And then I lose mine and he puts them in go to it. And then, and then he went to the scissors. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like you kind of, you kind of got owned and you're a little bit about it. Yeah, man. He's putting five guys in S tier. And then he went to the paper. They're a little wet for S tier, but I think slime likes it wet. No, my dad's being a prize. I mean dad is an important part of the fucking tier list. Okay. Two more questions really fast. Cutie, what do you rank five guys' prize if you like it wet? Um, I don't know because I don't have memory like that in regards to French fries, but my dad said they had absolute favorite fries, so that makes them ask. That's a good man. That's a strong man. Another question really quick. What would you consider the your favorite fry of like fries? Both of you. Honestly, McDonald's. Okay. Yeah. What? This is a pocket pick? Barbies. Interesting. That's an interesting pick, and I'm glad you said something like that. What vehicle you guys in? Um, we just, why are you asking that? I drove. I'm driving right now. Actually, it's dangerous what I'm doing. It's your car? My car. Yeah. Yonik Ba. The Hyundai. Yonik Ba. Yeah. All right. What made you ask that? What a weird question. Just ask the questions. Okay. What's your favorite fry of all time? Before, when you came up. All time. It's Red Robin. Interesting. Red. Pussy. Yum. Okay. I'm going to cover up my fiancee, bro. Sorry. Don't talk like that or my family. That's fine. All right, bro. Hey. Have a good one, guys. Hey, y'all. Enjoy the fries, man. You both look really good. I can tell. How does he? He doesn't know what we look like. I gotta go. Goodbye. How does he know we look good? Some entrepreneurial. Who leaked? Mole. Oh, mustard. We're sharp. If you leaked, I will. Flogged. We will strike you. We're going to strike you. I'm not kidding. I'm mad. Like an argue of my fucking girlfriend mad. Like I'm mad. I'm sorry. So what is it? You just have to call first time and like it's fucking reaction test? No. It's a duel. And you lost the duel. You got two owed. Clean. I fucking hate that there was a one time for this fucking tier list. We always had one time. I know. I respect the game. But God, I'm five guys. Shucks. And all the predators are going to be like. This is literally never had a good fucking food argument. You have sleep apnea. And you are a low level engineer. Shut the fuck up. You have a fake email job and you can't sleep right could you snort you? You have a proton mail. Just for the record, if it matters, Richard, if you're fucking listening at all, for the record. The season fries. You're asleep with your eyes open. Interesting. The season fries are inedible for me. And then the regular fries are sauce troubles. Inedible is whatever. It doesn't matter. They are burnt. And soggy. I don't need to dance on your shitty stupid grave. That place is just called Chinese fast food. Oh, it's wingstop. We're going to wingstop. And I hope you're ready for the juice. I think the guy that works here has the Nordic rune tattoo on his hand. Is this a place where you get, yeah, Skyrim tattoo or like a dark sign? Okay. Chill. Not too much. Not too much on the cursed dark sign tattoo. It's it's media. I like. Yeah. Anyway, awesome. Maybe the lord of the rings, the triangle. You know, you get is the assassin's creed. But it's on your wrist where like the assassin blade is. I know. This is Olympian three four. I know a guy that got that he was like. I think he was in high school at the time. He was a kid that was a friend of my like a cousin of my friend, but unfortunate name Israel. Yeah, that's a tough name. He's my skin. Tough name. It's just a name. When you go to the principal's office for bullying a kid and it's like, who were you picking on? Israel is in the folder on the principal gives you a fucking down low high five. I feel you. I feel you can. Yeah. Back on the playground. Israel with an assassin's creed tattoo. Can't write this shit. Yeah, there's some unfortunate names that I think in hindsight like ISIS. ISIS. We all know an ISIS. I didn't know an ISIS. She know what she was so she was so beautiful that it low key probably didn't matter ever. It's like like a guy would be like, your name is what? That's cool, I guess. You're an ISIS. You're forgiven for your beauty. Dude, I know I know the texture, taste, shape, SMS rating down to a wingstop fry. I already know it. I almost don't know. You have this enough. It's not really. I used to use to in COVID. Really? During COVID when we were old. We were fat little man. Yeah, in COVID when we were slaves to Uber Eats, I was just getting. We were getting wingstop. I would eat wingstop, everyone. Well, no, sorry. We used to. I actually wasn't Uber Eats. We used to live next to a wingstop. I'll say this. And maybe it's just a cultural thing. I have had wingstop like single digit times in my life, bro. You know what's funny? Shake, drizzle, and kelbi-may. Chill. Not too much. Rock, sucker, kelbi-may, and. Dude. And shake, drizzle. Dude. Those motherfuckers order a wingstop at the office, and they order it. They order it because it comes with a two for one, where you can get two for one. Yes. And then they eat it. And they open it up the bag, like a bag of fucking beef jerky in the office. The entire room smells like fucking wingstop. And then when you try to be like, you guys are eating wingstop. They go, the macros are actually pretty good. It is the highest level cope of all time. You know, kelbi with like the smallest biceps known to man be like the macros though. Don't get me started on the macros. You play nothing but League of Legends. You only play video games. No one else plays. To be fair to them. They haven't, they haven't pegged out. They haven't winged out in a while. And maybe it's due to the chirping. I know it's because kelbi is not in America. No, bro, even before that, I think they quietly switched to panda. Ew. Which, I don't think it's ew. I think panda's way better than wingstop. Wingstop's like dirty food. Like it's bad for you and it's scary food for you. Can we tell? We can finally tell. I don't know. Maybe we already have. Can we tell our panda express secret? Yeah. Have we told it before? Yeah, I think we have told it. Hi, we? Yeah. When we're reading "swatted a bunch," our big code word was, let's get panda express or panda express in discord, because it would otherwise not be something we would say to each other. Yeah, we would say panda express to warn, hey, there's a swatting happening, but don't let stream see. And we chose it because there was just no way in hell. Any of us would ever recommend going there and eating. It would never come up as a suggestion. And you would immediately know, oh, something's wrong. But I didn't, I didn't like, hate on panda like you guys maybe did. I thought, I think panda is fine. I used to go to, I found like, I was fucking Augustus. I was eating Augustus' group as a kid. But I used to, I used to live across from a panda express as a kid. And I would go there basically every other day. And I would get the honey walnut shrimp, the orange chicken, and the chow mein. I think this is a great goon. Is it insanely high sodium meal? Of course. And it was actually so good. While we're in the subject of fries, I'm so glad I could say this. And I've said this before and I get smirks and I get snickers and I get giggles. Yeah. And it's, it's really disrespectful. Yeah. And that's why I became an entrepreneur. To silence those voices. To take control, silence the voices, wield the staff. But here's what, what I say and what people tend to, to giggle at, Denny's fries in Japan at the Denny's that I had them at were the best fries I've ever had in my whole life. I'm not kidding. They were, they were glistening and crunchy and soft and they came with a powder that you could shake if you wanted to at its optional, but you didn't need to. Completely optional. We will not turn it into a meal on accident. I, I cannot express and it's, it sounds like a joke. It's not like a fucking around, like I'm making a big fucking joke. Denny's Japanese fries in Japan, in Tokyo. It was beautiful, man. I was, it was changed my life. Not enough fries come with an optional powder. It was so bad. That is something that I think should come with more. It was a powder and, and a, and a smaller bag to encase the fries in with the powder. And then you shake. They're so neat. It's a game. And it's a game. How much can you shake it? Maybe you shake it a little bit because you like it on the top more. Maybe you saturate, you saturate, you let it play. Maybe that's what you want. Did you have kids at school who were eating top ramen out the fucking bag raw? Yeah, yeah. They, we eat like a sandwich. Or like a, like a, like a, they'd bite the brick. Yeah, that's crazy. Darren did that. Biting the brick is crazy. Darren, Darren used to do that. You know what else? Darren did his way of flirting with girls. He would like, have their number. Yeah. And he would, while at parties, when there's a lot of people around, he would be texting the girl at the party. I'd be like, hey. Whoa. That was Darren's move. That is decent risk. It was a bad risk because. If it goes wrong, the girls were making fun of them. Yeah, they look over like, what? They say it. And they're like, what? Why are you texting me? Yeah, this girl, I dated. She's like, yeah, Darren was trying to hit on me. And this is, this is how he did it. And she was like talking about it. Like it was, it wasn't that charming. Speaking of, um, cursed. And, um, forbidden risk. Um, we actually, we had a smash player who used to come to our house. We could censor his name, I guess. But it doesn't really deserve it. Um, who? This was the guy I told a story a long time before. This is the guy who dropped a bong in my garage once and shattered the glass everywhere. of cleaning it up, he just laid a towel on it and left. - Which is great, 'cause that's like what a guy who's trying to kill you would do. - It's a wily coyote trap. But he laid a towel on a bunch of shattered glass left. Anyway, this is the guy we used to play mainly with come to our house. Fast forward to 2023. So this is many years, we have not spoken to this guy in a while, maybe 2022. My girlfriend gets a Snapchat notification from him. - I don't even think at the time she was using Snapchat. Maybe he just-- - When he's just still on your phone. - Yeah, yeah. Maybe just like to talk to her little brother or something. And it was from him and she opened it and he had sent a picture of his patinas bulge through his underwear to my girlfriend. - My girlfriend. - To my girlfriend. - And that's hands, honestly. - And she replied. And she said, "Do you know who this is?" And he didn't. He had just picked a girl's name. Well, he could have been like, oops, I'm caught. And it's the best thing to say. - It's possible. - But he's also straight up, probably like a four IQ guy. - But he would literally be like such a Hail Mary. - I remember, I think it told this before, he drove me home from power nine once and it was terrifying because if there was no car in front of him, he would just continue going faster. And I had to tell him to slow down because he was in the left lane and there was nobody in front. So he's ended up going like 100. - It's like a shit box, like a cord. - All right. - Was he the one who also couldn't talk and drive at the same time? - That was you. - All right, so it's Wingstop. - No. - Can you put, okay, can we put this in there? You know what, maybe it doesn't deserve to go in the mega bag. Maybe they're so good they don't deserve to go in the mega bag. - I think if you put it in the mega bag, a fucking bacteria would start to form. It would crawl at the top. - Where's the mega bag? - All right guys. - This is gross. - It's stuck. - Feel all heavy at ease. - Dude, it's bulging in it. - It feels dripping. - It feels like a human head. - Guys, we're at Wingstop. We have Wingstop fries. I'm gonna eat one, but I already know exactly the genetic makeup what this tastes like. - It's so interesting how I would continue with Wingstop. So, wow, presentation. It's something to sit on, to put on a table. You're not really eating these in the car. - No. - But it's still fast food, you know. - It's a basket illusion about this. - Wingstop. - Wingstop known for large portions. They give you quite a lot of the things, get the things that you order. - There they are. - They're making a freaking bite. - Very hot. Oh. Did you taste the house? - I think I'm tasting the house again. Oh my God, look what we're approaching. - For sure. - Are we going to Del Taco for fries? - Ned still has me blocked on Twitter, 'cause he refuses to. - It happened. - It just happened. - It happened. - It happened and there were witnesses and now he's saying it didn't happen 'cause he thinks there's long enough time. People are still out here talking about when it happened. - Meds asked me to go to Del Taco for a burger. It happened and that was an option. - And you know what? In Meds' defense, everyone, when you tell them that, they look at you and you go, "Loki, the burger's good and he was put on." - Yeah. - What? - He thinks it's embarrassing. - He's too deep now. - This is too deep. - Okay, very interesting the Wingstop fry. 'Cause it tastes, maybe it's 'cause I'm so used to it with ranch dressing. - Here's the thing about the Wingstop fry. It's very sweet. There's literally like sugar crystals on it. - All right, I have my answer. - Thank you. - I have my answer. Hold on. Now the problem is that, look at this one. It's like a fence. - It is crazy. Yard logo. - Yard, peak mentioned. - Peak mentioned. You see the fucking art show is still using our logo? - No. - Fucking insane. Let's go there. Let's go there. - Where's it North Carolina? - Yeah. - I'm ready. - And I'll meet Alex's mom. - We're gonna go there with Alex's mom, give him all a piece of our mind. Wingstop fries, they're really good if you get the good fry. I think they're seasoned in such a powerful way and the season overpowers everything, but I like it. If you don't like it, then these might be unedible to you. In addition, sometimes you get a fry that is not even touched with using not even kissed. - Yeah. - And that can be bad. So, I think this is a clear high variance from. - Yeah, this is high variance, this is high variance. I think because my first instinct when I had one was, I was so-- - That was a bad one. - I was so positive I would know exactly what it tasted like. But then when I tasted it, I was surprised. - Interesting. - So I was like, "Oh, what is that?" And I was like, "Oh, I'm normally eating these with ranch dressing." So I'm so accustomed to the soft, shoveling experience that I was caught off guard, but what they truly are. And it wasn't that they were bad. It was just I had something that I didn't expect to do the mega bag. - I'm making a new mega bag because this is a stronger one. - What? - This is our current mega bag. - Dude, I don't know if you should do that. - No, it's fine. - I don't know if you should do that. - No, I won't ignite the atmosphere. I promise. - You're about to step on the fucking Capri Sun. - You are gonna spill it. - Oh, shut up. - Mega bag. Oh, mega bag. Dude, it's so heavy. - It's like Coke and Mentos in a Coke. (laughing) - Oh, tell everyone where your suits from. - Oh, I'm wearing the suit that I wore to homecoming in high school because my nice one is like, bad for the dry cleaners. - Oh, crazy. - It's tight right here, for sure. You can kind of tell. It's like tight in the form. But everywhere else, it kind of fits. - I feel like the singer of taking back Sunday. - No. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, what's that all time, little? - No. (singing) - My paper heart will bleed. What band is that? - What's wrong, what are you doing? - What's wrong? - Dude, my phone died. - No. - It was unfortunate. - I need to buy something right now. And I don't have my phone. And my phone is now in my wallet as well. And it's dead. - So everything you touch is now up - It was sexual when I was buying. - You're buying something sexual? - Yes. - Was it dangerously sexual? - Yes. But now I can't buy it. I don't know what to do. (screaming) Does it turn on if you hit it? - No, it doesn't turn on. And this is tough because if I had one, the number one thing that can solve your problem is actually a Ridge power bank. - Ridge power bank. - Yeah, they solved wallets, they solved phone cases, they solved all that, but they actually have power banks. - I thought they only made wallets. - They don't, they actually make it, well, they wanted to conquer electricity if you will. You know what happened last power bank I bought? - What happened? - It exploded. - And your pocket, there was a big scar. - I lost some bone. - You lost some bone, you lost feeling. - I lost feeling at bone for a year. And there was a really hard podcast year for me to be on. But now I use the Ridge power bank. It's MagSafe wireless charging, has an Apple Watch charger, lightning and USB-C and it's five in one. - Five in one, I have so many devices that it all could be charged from this. - I know, it has 20 watts of power and a 10,000 and a million battery. - But I don't understand, I don't have a phone case on. Is it gonna work with the phone case? - Baby, it's wireless for you. - And also the Ridge's phone case does make a perfect pairing is what I'm hearing from my mind. - And the system works together. Your bones won't be damaged by faulty things, loading and hurting you and making your podcast journey as a man. - Oh, I'm gonna be six years old. - Doing a premonition. - Really difficult. - There's one thing to pack in five ways to power with the Ridge power pack and you can find Ridge's power bank at Best Buy or get 10% off at Ridge.com by using code of the yard at checkout. Just head to Ridge.com right now and use code of the yard. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them and please. - Social support to our show and tell them we sent you as the yard. - If you go to Best Buy and get this, you have to check out Magnolia. They're hiding shit. They're hiding things in Magnolia in the back. - You have to find them. The Magnolia staff will actually reward you for this. This is documented in Guaranteed. You have to do this. - Here we are, man. You got dirty DPs. - Should we get a dirty soda? - I don't like dirty sodas. I think it's too indulgent. I'm 36 years old. I don't get those. - Can I just get a small bribe and that is it, $2.97? Say what you will about the clown. - Wait, that's so expensive. - Of course it is. - Didn't it used to be like 99 cents for a small bribe? - I mean, probably when you were in high school bitch. - Hi. - I mean, we're both thinking it, are we not? - Thinking what? - She's too beautiful to work at McDonald's. - She was far too bad. I hate to be the slime guy. - I mean, these are inside thoughts. - That woman was inside. - She was gorgeous. - Yeah, she was a fucking supermodel like the McDonald's. - I don't know why. - She was like, you know, because my girl exists, she's a 9.9. But she was very, very good looking. - Yeah, she was, yes. She was almost as beautiful as my girlfriend. It was like, Anna Day Armist is working at the McDonald's for her, man. - That was crazy. - I don't know why. - That is what, like, the right wing guys, like-- - Yeah, that's like what they think. - Well, let's see if what she served is as breathtaking as herself. - All right, McDonald's fries, guys. These, many would say, is the control group. Many would say these are the fries that all fries should be compared to. Many would say they have the best fries. I don't know if I agree. - Now, did you ever work at a McDonald's? - I did not work at a McDonald's. - It worked fast food. - Never. - No, well, I worked at a drive-through, but it was a coffee bean. - Yeah. - This account. - I worked one day at a McDonald's. I quit the day of. Because there were two reasons. One, I hated the job. - Right. - And I had to take the bus to get there, 'cause I didn't have a car, I was a teenager. Number two, the woman, who was training me, was beautiful. And she would come up behind me every time, when I was like learning the register, and she put her hand around my waist. I've told this story before. She put her hand around my waist. And every time, I'm like a 15 year old teenager with crazy hormones. - Right. - I would have a boner every time. - You'd get a boner at work? - I was boned out all day, because she would insist on coming up behind me, putting her hand around my leg, low waist. She was very flirty. It was weird. I think she was older too. I think I was molested. Yeah, you were in McDonald's. You might have got moat at the mix. And the whole day, I'm like, this is so, and I was like hunched over and trying to hide it in the slacks, McDonald's slacks. Hey, Anthony, can you come sweep over here? You're walking like, you're like holding the broom front. Yeah. It was crazy. All right, I gotta eat this five before it's cold. Well, I mean, you mean other. You know, these are, these are a little thinner than they use. These suck. It's a little smaller than they used to be too. They're a little smaller than they used to be too. These suck. Don't they have longer ones in the longer package? I don't know. Does the smaller ones necessitate smaller fries? They might have to have different size fries. Three dollars. Thanks, Trump. Kill your, I don't think they're bad. They know what they are. These are soft shovels. I need ketchup. Yeah, I need something. Nothing. People are going to be so mad about this. Oh my god. This is going to be the most annoying part. And we put five guys at this hot dude. I just lost all credibility and I didn't even have any. Well, in the comments, they can explain all the humiliating shit that happened to you. And you'd be vindicated. You'd be a humiliating person. The guy on the huge paused bowl. The five at the top of the list. The fucking engineer that is leaving a comment on read it right now about me. What they're thinking right now is what's funny is Nick was actually wrong about five guys. It is peak. But it's so crazy that they put McDonald's so low that I don't trust either of them now. That's what they're going to say. No, I mean, look, I'm not trying to think about that. Look, here's the thing. I don't think these are bad actually. I'm continuing to eat them and I've eaten fries all day. I think there's our hybrids. Because what it is, it's like we've had fries high fucking dealt with. And like McDonald's were allowed to use our breadth of human experience to talk about the variants. These ones, they're not as tip-top shape as McDonald's fries can be. And I think we've all experienced that, especially in McDonald's. McDonald's, I would say, is the reason high variance and it and out is on the list. And that's where it should go. The bottom, please. The bottom of high variance. Please. Because dude, and we're at Del Taco now. God fucking dammit. The challenge is starting to hurt. Yeah, I'll put the bottom of high variance, but I want rather record to show that these are saw shovels to me. I don't know if I have ever finished a bag of McDonald's fries with nothing on the side. I don't need to finish them. I always just want one. I think you've been crazy. I always just want one or two because they have that McDonald's taste at the end that no other fries have. I think you aren't a real fryhead then. Because what are you talking about? Whatever, man. I'm not going to put you on blast because we're on the same team because we're on entrepreneur. Like, oh, my favorite bands. Oh, I like queen. It doesn't matter. Like guns and roses. If the music's good, then the music's good. You like the bands on the cover of music. We're not trying to be niche here. Oh, music. My favorite fries, fried guys. I love music. I love music. I love queen. I love queen. I don't. Well, look, now we're at some real me shit. Can I just get a regular fries? Thank you. Wait, what's a dirty dealt? Do I need to try that? It's fine. There's your dirty sodas. You fucking animal. I know what they are. I just want one. It's fucking child. It was a dirty soda with lime. Oh, can I get you? Hey, oh, my god. They have candy. Yeah, dog. Candy's awesome. Nothing. Nothing soda. Candy soda is evil. Soda is candy. And it's evil. No, so candy is not inherently evil, but you are licking snails. That is zero. That's different. And you know that too. Do not pretend that you don't know that. It's not not candy for being zero. What the fuck are you talking about? It's still candy. You're drinking candy. No, it's not. Candy is defined by sugar. Sugar. No, it's not. Sugar, not sweeteners. Bitch. Stupid bitch. You're lost. You're a lost soul. And you, frankly, you inflict that on other people. And it's embarrassing. McDonald's fries aren't that good. I think they're, I think they're the standard. And they have high variance because of that. I think they're good. I'm fine with high variance because on the tier list, it's the middle. And that's low enough to me to be happy. I do like how you're standing for a crusade. This is, I mean, this is where I stood for five guys. Do you remember eating the fucking nacho fries from Taco Bell? Do you remember what that was like? It was amazing. It was unbelievable. I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine a different experience being better than that. It was really good. And I think McDonald's is like, yeah, two tiers away from that. If they're out of five tiers. Yes. Yeah. You know, I respect a lot about McDonald's fries. They haven't changed. I know, right? The fries you have when you were a kid of the fries, you're having now the same. Maybe there used to be an old hack. It was a, it was kind of like a reddit urban myth where you'd say, can I get fries no salt and it forces them to make new fries? Yeah, in and out, the method is saying can I get fries light well? Light well. And they have to cook them differently. So they have to make you a fresh bag. So you get fresh rice. So we'll get to in and out when we start talking about it. But something about in and out, which where those big fucking safety pins on the back of their aprons and shit, they have potatoes in the store. You know what else has potatoes in the store? Five guys. Burgers and fries. Burgers and fries. Something to be said. Well, that's why they're always compared to each other. And it's actually miraculous that five guys burger and fries, despite having the same methodologies in and out, makes such a dog shit fry because they have the potatoes right fucking there. Don't stop. I'm going to come. I want to make you come. I want to make you us. All right, I've never, and I'll say this full sincerity. Never once had this. I don't think I've had Del Taco. Rich, you're fucking me my asshole. I haven't had Del Taco since I was maybe 10. Yeah, at all. No, at all. Thank you so much. I do like that all the restaurants ask you. If you want ketchup instead of just wasting the bags. I mean, you know who wasted is like five guys with a throat. They just throw ketchup at you. It's so what do you call it? Heat and this thing, you know. So some about Del Taco fries. Our first crinkle cut fry. And may I say the green box not appetizing. Not at all. It looks like throw up. The Del Taco chains their color to green. Well, they're trying to differentiate it. Dude, I don't think so. That is like the worst branding ever. Dude, the red Del Taco is like iconic. I don't know why they would do something like this. Oh my god. Del Taco, not something I also had growing up. So when I moved to California, I, you know, I started eating. And I like what I was eating. I don't say this. The grilled chicken burrito from Del Taco through the years has gotten way worse. It used to be optimal goons. I used to, I used to create me and Miles. I take Miles Del Taco. I mean, let's go to Del Taco. And now, I mean, they eat differently now, obviously. But the last time I had one was like two years ago and it was dog shit terrible. Anyway, let me get involved. I feel like crinkle cut fries almost designed to be soft shovels. They hold the sauce. Yeah, there's more, there's more a divots. They're really hot. Um, bro, these are like flavorless, adventurous, sexless, interesting. These are vacuas. There's something about them I like, but really? But it's, it's, it's mostly stuff I don't like. I think this is the pure raw definition of the sauce shovel. There is nothing here. This is not meant to be enjoyed alone. In fact, that lady scowled when I said no catch up. Yeah, there's something. She looked at me like I was a child molester. Yeah, yeah, well, you look like one today in particular. But there's something about the, the thing I like about them that takes them out of inedible for me. These aren't inedible. No, no, no, no. I could finish these fries if I had to. Dude, I don't know. Maybe if I was hungry enough, but like I cannot imagine having these without a sauce. They're very, they are very salty. They are very salty. Are you smoking weed? I don't think they are that salty, bro. Their salty is fuck. Can we talk? There's crystals. They're dude, they're not. They crystallize. Dude, they're not. They're not fucking crystals. Every fry I've had is not a salty fry. Handle a bus plumb. Handle a bus plumb. Handle a bus plumb. Crystal. Can we talk about Crinkle Cut and what it means to us? You can start. Yeah, um, so Crinkle Cut does not mean much to me. When I think Crinkle Cut, I think of, I went to the grocery store and bought fries to make in the oven at home. That's what Crinkle Cut makes me think. I can't think of like a instance or restaurant that has Crinkle Cut fries that I'm like, those are the golden fries. I don't have any positive memories associated with them. I just sort of have mundane. I'm at, I'm it's dinner and when my mom made burgers and these were the fries at the grocery store memories or maybe I'm at a friend's birthday party and they're shoving something up to have on the side with the grilled burgers. And not to me is the beginning and end of what a Crinkle Cut fry does in society. It is just there to fill the gap of when we cannot go to a restaurant. I think that's very apt and that's very salient. And I agree, right? And I'm glad that you pretty much said everything I felt like I was going to say. So what is then with that information, let's say anecdotally, this is all of our shared experiences on Crinkle Cut fries. And very few people have their favorite as a Crinkle Cut fry. What then are we doing with Crinkle Cut fries? Like, why is Del Taco saying Crinkle Cut? That's the one we'll get. Probably for the same reason that they're green. They're trying to stand out in ways but they don't understand what it means to stand out positively. I find it hard to believe that Del Taco, Which is a fucking fortune 500 company and I was whipping my own ass dude, but they're falling on They're falling off the radar bro who who was the last time your homie was I guess you would miles But you were the homie it was a long time was last time someone was like hey you want to hit Del Taco or do you like to do something else Like you only person you know that goes to Del Taco is currently addicted to it and and has been since they were a child You know, I mean it's like Taco Bell just go to Taco Bell Taco Bell is cooler. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't get it. It tastes better. It's not a real tortilla head. I love you say that one. That's like some aiden would say they're indeed. Yeah. Yeah. If as someone who is eating a lot of Taco Bell a lot of Del Taco in my life, there is a distinction between them and I know they're I know they're very different if I'm isn't isn't Del Taco more of a hard shell place? No, it's not I wouldn't consider it no. I in fact I would say that Taco Bell does hard shell better. Wow, you know, you get your little party pack of for the Super Bowl and it's got all the that's Taco Bell. You know who loves Taco Bell me my mother. No shit. Maybe I ask her she asked your mom what she orders from Taco Bell. I haven't called her in a while. So she's going to be really happy that call, but this is not the circumstances that I think you're going to have to say keep it short. Hey, hey, sorry, I'm I'm recording something with Anthony. I had a question for you. Yeah. I had a I had a vague memory that you love Del Taco is in like still sometimes eat it. Is that true Taco Bell? By the way, I don't love Del Taco, but it's true that sometimes I will give it a chance and try to go back and eat it to see if I like it and it's it's mainly Taco Bell. I think I love Taco Bell and then I go back on and eat it and it's shit. What do you? Oh, you don't like Taco you don't like Taco Bell and you eat it. I know, but I think it's because of that stupid cheese. And I think if I get something without the cheese that we're cheese that we're cheese. So what do you get at Taco Bell when you get to your order? Well, I'm sorry about that. Um, dumb, uh, what was it? It was that double. To loop us something or rather a cheesy gordita crunch or a chalupa supreme. Yes, yeah, cheesy. We need a crunch. Cheesy, go to the crunch. Uh, yeah, so great order. And one of the layers that they have that they'll be that like a movie shitty cheese. Yeah, yeah. I wanted it to taste like true. Oh, right Jesus. Um, and what do you get when you go to Del Taco? If I don't go to talk, it's usually because I just really just want like a beaten cheese and me burrito and it's I don't want to go the extra mile for Taco Bell. And I just created like that one thing. Yeah, she said, she said, I don't want to go to talk about like go to the taco. You see that? It's interesting. She raised me. So maybe I think that way. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to say that Taco Bell is not an alternate option for Del Taco. Del Taco is like its own spiritual thing. And it was interesting that you you you see them as different like one option or the other because I do too. Yeah. Well, I think this is like what don't talk those if I'm I'm being lazy about eating. I'm really creating a simple taco or a simple uh beaten cheese burrito. It's way cheaper than Taco Bell. And it's just like. I need to eat something now and I don't care about what I eat and like because I need to move on to my next thing. Let me ask you a question. Taco Bell is one. Okay. I'm going to give you one more chance to make me believe in you. I have more faith in Taco Bell. Right. And then I get let down. And then I don't go down. I have a question. If if Del Taco and Taco Bell are equidistant from you. They're the exact same amount of distance. She's also equidistant and you're hungry. And I'm hungry and I really don't want to be disappointed. And you and you would which one do you choose? Okay. The the trigger matter is I'm going to choose Taco Bell because I think when Taco Bell hits, it has a potential to hit better than Del Taco. That's right. Higher variance. The ceiling is higher. The ceiling is higher for what the potential expectation is. Wow. Wow. I really I really am my mother's son. I can see it in the way she explains. Well, thank you for that mother. That's very helpful to our current um adventure we're on. That's awesome. And I am looking forward to seeing your beautiful face on Wednesday. Okay. One more question. Yes. What is your favorite French fry of any restaurant? Okay. So I am a not skinny but not fast. I don't like steak fry. So it's got to be a skinny fry that's soft on the inside and super crispy with some seasoning on the outside. It's going to be something like um it will come to my head. Islands did a really good fry like that. Islands. Islands. I don't know. I've been there for like I don't know 10 years but I do remember 10 years. Your favorite fry is from 10 years ago? No, but I remember because a good fry, you know, good fry. You remember I do try. You're right. It's true. It's true. Well, I don't like islands. The restaurant islands that's kind of like chilies but it's like tropical themes islands. That's right. It's really close. So another good fry would be none of the fast food restaurants have it fried. None at all. None of them. Well, I mean McDonald's but that's not the best fry. Okay, but it's the one that comes to mind. What about the shittiest fries are in and out. They're the worst. Wow. As they expire two minutes after you get them and you so you have to eat them like before you drive out. Like they expire. It's very well put. She's right. What do you think of the jack in the box curly fry? Two greasy. Okay. That monster talker with whatever that mystery means in it. That's fire. I think they can. Wow. All right. Well, it's very helpful mom. Thank you for answering the phone. Okay. Well, I appreciate it. All right. I love you. I'll talk to you soon. I love you too. Bye. We messed up it. We messed up it. We messed it up. Did we? And she went off. Oh, my gosh. I'm in the middle of it. I'm laughing. Yeah, she's such a fan. You're such a fan. Oh, I am a fan. And slide. I love you. I love you too. Don't why don't do that. Don't you know what we love each other? I love to have these funnier things. And I love her. I gotta hang out. I gotta go. Bye. She loves me. She doesn't love you. And I love her. She doesn't know what love is. You know what this means? We love each other. No, you don't love each other. The staff is not involved. There's no love happening. We, me and Nick's mom love each other. And that's okay. Shut up, dude. Highlands is funny. That's jokes, bro. Island is insane. Have you ever been to an island? No, ever. It just sounds funny. And then your reaction was funny. Islands is like it is like a teaky-themed chiles. And I've only ever seen like three of them. And they were like all in my hometown. I've never seen one in LA. But you know what, bro? She remembered it. Yeah. That is good. I know which one she's talking about. She's talking about the islands that is next to the Tilly's in Anaheim Hills. It's in the complex next to like the pavilions. It's crazy that she pulled out of her ass. But I like what I like when my mom is at shul, you'll ask her a question like where the best fries. And she goes, yes. She takes a deep breath because she knows that that question requires there's a levity to it. It requires a certain amount of thought to give a genuine insightful answer. Yeah. Shake-shack. You know what? This is, look, I have no great love for brands. I have ordered Shake-shack I think twice, three times in the past couple months. It's just on my food algorithm. And I'm like, sure I'll try to shake it. I don't know fucking care. Every time I've thrown it up after. You've thrott- wait, how many times? Three. Okay, so fool me once. Right. And the second time you throw up again, you ordered a third fucking time. You are a fucking family. You want me to explain myself before you start casting accusations. What do you order? Just a chicken burger and a normal burger. So two burgers. Shut up. You ordered. You shut the fuck. You ordered. Shut up. You Uber. Islands. Jesus Christ. That is islands. It's islands. It's right here. It's crazy. It's right. It's right there. I go to Shake-shack. I don't go. I get it delivered. The first time, I just ate it too fast and I got sick. This happens once in a while. Which one did you eat first, too fast? It's both too fast. Oh, interesting. You eat two burgers too fast. I did. You can never call me. Sometimes I'm too fast. You call me a fat whale so much. And I don't call you fat. Oh, it's interesting that you're fat, but you also don't finish your burger. How is that? I don't know. Maybe it's the candy. I had to come to terms with the fact that it's true. I don't finish my burger. And you fought and you kicked and screamed and I realized that I actually have a reason that I don't finish the burger. And when I understood there's a reason, I looked back in time and I realized, oh, I do it all the time. What's the reason? You're not going to like it. It doesn't matter if I like it. I just want to know. I actually have a different reason nowadays, but my reason historically has been I do this with drinks as well. It's just less noticeable with drinks. I want my last bite or sip of something I'm enjoying to be the best one. Yeah, you've talked about this with drinks. So when I get to the end of a burger and there's no meat left and it's bun sauce lettuce and no meat because the meat was like smaller than the bun was, I just don't eat it because I'm like, my last bite had meat in it and it was better. You live in a fantasy planet. What are you talking about? Your life can't be that. Why? Because you eat things to grade things change through time. No, you don't eat like me. I eat and every bite is a tactical decision. Okay. And by the time I get to the end of the burger, I go as expected. I have saved the best bite for last. I mean, it's look, but what do you do in the case that the middle? bite of the burger. You open from the beginning bite of the burger. You open E4, your opponent plays like night to D3 and then there's a refutation. There is a way you approach this that has a pattern to it and you get to the end and you go right, checkmate. This was all calculated. I mean, I'm not refuting you here. I think there's merit. I'll say that, let me ask you a question and I feel like maybe this is something you would never order because you have internal rules. It's how I never do that. Sliders? Sliders? Well, there are many burgers. Sliders are donut holes for burgers, so how do you, with your last bite, first bite theory, manage a slider? Sliders most likely because the patty, the part that you like the most, right? The only ingredient you could not remove and still eat this. You would not eat a ketchup, a bun, lettuce thing if it had no meat. Of course, if you're looking for a burger, so the meat is the only thing you can remove, you can't remove where you'll still eat it. If I get sliders, it's really going to come down to like, I might leave a whole slider because I don't want to finish them. There's too many, but I won't eat half a slider at the end. But that's not a hunger issue, not a last bite, first bite, that kind of thing. This wouldn't be part of it. It wouldn't be part of it because the last bite would probably most likely be identical to the first bite. Okay. You know what I mean? So this concept doesn't apply to something like sliders. Unless the sliders are made weird, like maybe they come out and over time they get really cold. And the last slide is cold, then I'm like, oh, I won't eat the last slider because my last one was hot. And I don't want my last slider to be cold. Do you find this perspective and this application and preference reasonable? Yeah, because I think at worst, it's wasteful. And at best, it's not getting extra calories for no reason. Sure. Richard is getting out of the car. I don't know who told him what's happening. What's happening? What's your mission? What's happening? You quit. Richard, quit. No. I can't drive a Lamborghini. I don't have the space. I'm gonna crash it. We're gonna die. I'm gonna crash it on purpose. I don't think I can control it. You're not gonna believe this, bro. Shake check is crinkle cut fries. See? I knew this. I knew this. And they have good fries. I think I know that girl. Let me tell you something. Let me see your face one more time. These are more springy than I've seen in typical crinkle cuts on this planet. They smell like a house. What is happening? Dude, it does. It's not the Lambo. It smells like house. What have everyone frying there? Have I just never noticed it? Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. It's the paper and the packaging. No, they're all different, man. So interesting. I'm about to eat it. I'm about to eat it. Hmm. Well, there's a uniqueness here. This is a unique fry. It tasted fries all day. This defies everything you said about crinkle cuts. Yes. It's like they've figured something else out about crinkle cuts. Also, what I'll say, shout out Shake Shack for one unrelated what I'm about to say. They have probably the best milkshakes. Err, sorry. They have a top five milkshake. I won't say best. That's insane to say. But if you ever, first milkshakes that are available basically anywhere, Shake Shack is a very high quality milkshake. Now, they're on up the Lambo. That comes when you're a billionaire. Now, Shake Shack is one of the only places I know that does a spicy fry. You can order spicy fries. Really? Yeah. And they come dusted with like a spicy seasoning. Wow. And they're very good. And they come with like a spicy dipping sauce. Dude, I like these fries. They're good. They're good. I think the CEO of Shake Shack, you know, we're often at odds with the people that run the companies that we have to interact with and that we have to deal with. And, you know, and yeah, maybe the Shopify guy said that everyone who makes a certain amount of income should have a slave. Right. Maybe he said that. Yeah. Maybe the guy making the technology that hit the front tier of the world right now that all the all investors in the world are all scrambling to get involved in. Maybe. Maybe he probably maybe he went to court for his sister. Probably did that. And he's the guy leading the technology that is going to control our minds. But at the end of the day, and we can just eat a good fry. And maybe we don't have to feel like, you know what? It's our responsibility as billionaires to make better decisions. But for the every man who has to just get by. That's right. Don't blame yourself for having a fry. Don't blame us. But I'm going to rank this one pretty high because it's a good fry. I'd like to place these into good goons. I mean, I think there's an argument for goaded if there was a little more something going on here. Imagine the seasoning. They become goaded. I'm saying with the spicy seasoning, they become goaded. They also become goaded when you dip them, but that's not the spirit of the competition. We do have the price. The fucking most notorious, the most controversial. Here it is. If you are from California, you know them. You love them. You hate waiting in line for them. If you aren't from California, you are often disappointed by your first experience having them or blown away because you got lucky. It is the in and out French fry. Oh my God. This is it. This is everything. This is the reason why you do things like this. I used to date a girl who were to in and out. I used to get fries free all the time. First of all, everyone in and out, they fucking each other. All those employees are fucking. They're undoing that little safety pin in the back and they're getting active. It looks as if we've gotten a pretty fresh batch. That's huge. Look at the glisten. On camera, they look unbelievably good. For sure. How is it going up there, bud? A little stressful. I'm going to take. I'm a believer in and out, so I'm going to really pick my, I'm going to hand pick my fry, me too. Rich, if a scratch comes to this urus, I will kill you. It's your ass. It's your ass. And not fry. Down the go it. It's and and let me, let me tell you something about myself, a group in Colorado. I grew up in small town Colorado. We didn't have it in out. In fact, the most exposure I had to fries was McDonald's fries and Burger King fries and Arby's fries, actually. And I had this very normal look on fries. And then I came like anyone else. You go to Vegas for the first time, right with your friends. They got in and out in Vegas. Got to try and do it. You get the fries. Why are they like this? Why do they feel like you're biting into sand? They do. And I like in and out just fine. You know what? In and out. They use pretty good ingredients. It's really affordable. That's why the fucking line is out the door. But they feel like you're biting into sand. You're not going to like what I have to say. And that is bad. I've already had five. I can't stop. Why? This is the first time today I haven't unable to stop. Maybe it's like beta-kitten mind control. Like an ice-wide shut when you swap fluids with somebody. You're trying to control them through beta-kitten programming. Right, right, right, right. And stuff like that. And maybe you've been beta-kitten programmed through your time growing up in Southern California. Have you had in and out fries better than this? My question. Without any fiexons? Yeah, but no fiexons. Oh fiexons. No fiexons. No. Okay. No bitch. So is this the ceiling? This is as good as it gets. Okay. So I actually think we rolled high. Like I think that this is a good and out fry. I don't think it's the best and not fry, but I think it's definitely rolled really good. I'll say this. There is a feeling that in and out gives me when I get their fries and their boar gore. But I think because they have. Take these away from me because they have the tomatoes in the goddamn house and the potatoes and they fucking slice them up any frame right there. There's a purity in that ideal where it's like, dude, this was a potato like five minutes ago. And I think that's kind of cool because I think that the modern food environment is just not really knowing where things come from and unless you're eating whole foods. And I think about this shit a lot. Weirdly. I weirdly think about nutrition a lot for as a guy who's like not that healthy. And I think that's cool. And so weirdly in and out gives me confidence to allow the fry to feel like sand in my mouth because it was a potato just five minutes ago. And I think that's interesting. That's the best fry I've had today. This is crazy. I don't know what to tell you. Why don't you describe why? I don't think you can. It's fresh. It is highly addictive. I want more than one. It's got right. It's got great texture. It's got good oil. It's got good salt content. Every once in a while you get a weird crunchy one. I like the randomizer. Nick, it's dry. Then what? It's not dry. That was the best fry I've had today. And I know I have somehow you're going to get crucified. Daily. Forfeited my one time. If I may add and I would five would fucking to stuff it in up with the balls in two to let me I would if you let me brother I would fucking I'd I'd stuff my fucking legs my nuts I get it all in there if you'd let me but I can't I can't because we're outside the fucking Zanku chicken And that guy murdered fucking whole family and started Zanku chicken. That's the story that fucking ways That's crazy murders whole family. He's just so dry that I coughed on them Nick I don't know what to tell you man. It's just that I the internet fries It's the best fry I had today. I know I'm not going to get through a vote on go to the zippers nodding his head I think he fucking likes the fries you kidding. I think he fucking likes the fries. They were mate We got a good bat. We rolled high today. Yeah, but the best batch. It tastes. It's dry Like I don't know how to tell you this that like I'm a I'm sensitive to wetness Okay, I don't have I don't have to know how to tell me I could probably guess that based on a combination of variables I just think I could guess it And if if I am considered some sort of subject matter expert on this What are we doing? So what do you want to put category? You want to put them in what are those girls? There's they're like filming a TikTok outside of the Zanko chicken Maybe they're looking for the guy that killed his family. Yeah, I think it was one of the brothers of the Zanku family And then they now the the franchise is fragmented. I don't know. You're cool already. There's very deep lore No, that's part of my that's part of my rating All right, where would you put these then if you had to a gun to your head if you had a one-time that you didn't lose humiliatingly Earlier to five. I don't I don't you put it. I don't think I would spend my one time I think I would I think I would fight really hard to put them at the very very very top of high variants Because I think that's fair because you know what we got a good batch and you know what? They are cold fast and you know what sometimes they just suck But today we got a good batch and they're hot and they're fresh and they're ready and they're little scissors And they're for you my argument right now is that if this is a good batch then this is like crazy like I gain I get I think top of high variants is totally fine I think I can I can sign off on that confidently. I'm not gonna say good goons because you know what Well, I when I the fry had just now is better than good goons. That is a great fuck. That's a goat fry. However I know what it's like to go to in and out and if me and the homies are hanging out and we're like it's late night And we're like a little hungry not we had a meal earlier. We don't need a foam meal. We're a little hungry I'm not gonna be like let's go to in and out and get some fries. It's too risky It's way too risky. It's like what your mom is saying about Taco Bell and you're very very there's a gamble likely to get Mid to bad goons so I'm not gonna even put it in good goons because that's not what that is. That's not what that represents But I will say they really wowed me today on a day like this like what else could I ask for Thank you so much in and out and thank you for putting buy one versus the bottom of the cup It's so thoughtful of you. I was wondering when more places would talk to do that and thank you for donating to those conversion camps Because being gay is a choice And keep the company private. I know there's probably Pressure to make that shit public keep private keep control of the The narrative the gay and narrative Isaiah 1452 did to round me do to run and do on to and do on to the fry As you would do on to the guys and do on to the guy and there and then and then he And then he said he yeah, there were five Yeah, that was that was excellent. I think that's gonna go into high variance Yeah, and I think I'm gonna have to go to the hospital after this. I feel fucking wild I don't know how you are tanking this. I feel like shit. I don't feel crazy. I feel like shit I feel similarly to how I felt during the fast food challenge, which makes sense Yeah, I think it's just salt. I think I think my body does not like a lot of salt So we're at Popeyes right now. They have four 49 Um, that's the price cheese bites and then they have what I thought was like oat cereal Like yeah, it does look like oatmeal like glued to chicken with like using like a glue or a butter and it might be oatmeal I know I've learned from working with food specialists that they often Replace like you know, you know in most you mean for the shoot the picture. Yeah, you know And you know that people actually will know this fun fact But usually for ice cream they use mashed potatoes. No, I didn't know that at all. It scoops and it holds its shape all shoot Wow, doesn't know dude remember when we did the kfc shoot and we had like a food makeup guy Yeah, it was girl. There's a girl and it was funny because We shot that commercial with kfc and I was like oh so cool. We're going to do a big brand They're probably going to send like the kernel or like a chef to like give us the right the perfect They just called a the closest kfc to us and had them prep 15 of them. Yeah Double downs double downs. That was the most disgusting sandwich The double down was a crazy idea in American history. If you don't remember this It was a sandwich where the bread was also chicken It's double down. They've doubled down on the amount of chicken by replacing the bread with chicken Do you remember how much the shoot cost? Yeah the shoot was all 70 no no it was more it was the shoot was like a 120 grand 120 grand. It's my most expensive shoot the shoot a commercial that was like TV and it was waste It well was it Yeah It wasn't a waste of experience, but it was It was just contributing to a digital landfill of marketing that I don't care to to contribute to it was Ultimately a wake up call for me. Oh great poppies is here Poppa love that chicken poppies love you pussy from poppies and red robin y'all That's what it says love that chicken poppies. I've had poppies a lot But when I have had it, I'm pretty satisfied with it. I don't think a lot about poppies I guess people say it's the best chicken sandwich You know there were lines out the door and shit for the they they launched a chicken sandwich and there was like lines around They blocked for it. Wasn't there like a phyna meal? Didn't phyna have a phyna did poppies Phyna Phyna had your sandwich. I think lacy was on that shit dude that Never mind. Can I get to lacy's poppie meal and then no small small small small Oh my gosh those look season pretty good they look season they look crunchy they look seasoned You can see you can see the kernel you can see peppercorns look at the peppercorns on that hold on Focus iPhone you can focus I you can still kind of see easy the peppercorns There's very thick juicy pepper veins. Yeah, they're really really thin, which again, I'm and it smells like a house. I'm a thick fry guy This smells. Okay, can I be crazy for a second? This is the worst smelling fry Since it doesn't smell like food Doesn't smell like this is actually making me not want to eat fast food forever. This smells like an auto shop You know it's funny It's probably my favorite crunch of the day. It's a good crunch. It's a really good Hold on hold on let me get a really good one Guys, there's a mark listen to this shit Hey I hope that went through I could hear down here. Oh, oh What what's wrong There's a cheese I think I think I know what you're talking about. I'm getting a cheese. There is a there is a spiritual Energy that is flowing through this fry and I didn't say it's a cheese. It felt like a meat It feels like these were in broth dude. There's like a broth. What a great way to put it right It's like they came from it's like they were fried in broth. There's a but it's a brothy fry Wow, but I can't shake that there's a cheese this smell is god awful. It smells like like trash, bro It smells like a dumpster. It smells like a dumpster full of grease Like the dumpster that you go you smoke cigarettes out and then you go back on your shift. These are by far the most interesting fries the day These are interesting man. I hate the smell, but I keep wanting to I you have the the crunch is too good to not bite again listen to this The flavor has a depth to it that is to since today almost a shake shake but right now been unmatched only can be described as a brothy cheese A cheesy broth if you will. It's weird. It's so weird. You've got to you've got to try it because it's hard to explain I really like these. I like them too. There is something in there They're far too. I don't know if decadent is the word decadent is a good word like they're rich They're rich rich. They're rich. They are like savory taken to its limit. Yes, there is there is something That that is is too indulgent in these. I'm I'm eating them and each time I have one more I go that has to be the last Like I cannot eat another and then I find myself eating just one more and I'm like that one's definitely the last one These are I mean I don't know I'm really surprised how good these you know what it reminds me of it's like eating cheese balls Like you eat a handful of cheese balls and you go like like cheese puffs. Yeah, yeah, and you go wow like this is crazy Like they're so flavor packed and like it's like a saturated and bad for me. I'll just have the one handful And then you you eat another and we know what they call it the satiation response Our brains our brains tell us you're satiated time to stop eating things like potato chips things like Poppais fries maybe they don't trigger satias. We're not you go and keep eating highly palatable the most interesting fry Today, yeah, by far and I want to finish it I make this analogy a lot, but it's like in future on the one fries eating the green slurm and he can't rip himself away He has to save his friends, but he can't let's start at the bottom because they're not inedible - Wow, and let's go up one. They are definitely not, not sauce shovel. - They're so amazing naked. - I wouldn't wanna put a sauce on these. I would feel crazy. - No, it would be unbelievable. - It would, I mean, it would be like, it would be like buying like a cake, like a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and ice cream inside. And then being like, you know what this needs? - Chocolate syrup. - It needs fun. - It's hot fun. I can't, no, it's already enough. High variance. I can't imagine these being high variance. Like, I think these are, this is what you're gonna get every time I think. - Because of the fact that it smells like a dumpster, it implies that this is how it's always gonna be. - And they're bringing them up to a, they have to bring them up to such a high heat to calcify with the broth they're using, to cook these, to calcify the pepper, and to get that kind of crunch. It has to be such a high heat. I feel like it's so consistently gonna be crunchy. - I mean, the question is, goaded are good goons. I feel a little adventurous. This is an amazing fry. I would go to this Popeyes for the fries. - Finally. Goaded are good goons. - These are really good. - Wow. They're goaded. - They're goaded. - They're goaded. - These are goaded fries. - Something about this French fry shoot is gonna come up and bite us in the nuts. - Yeah, guys, really, I hate to break the fourth wall 'cause you're enjoying this three hour episode or whatever it is, but we did something bad. - We did something bad. The Lamborghini got damaged. This is not a joke. - We did damage the Lamborghini, and what that means is we're gonna have to start cutting back around here at the yard. We have way too many purchases that we've sort of just been letting fly for the past couple months, years even. - We looked up one of the rims, what they cost, and it's way too much money. - We owe 50 grand to this 18-year-old in a rough neighborhood in Los Angeles, and I'm gonna start using rocket money to start to cancel some of our unwanted subscription services that we're using at the yard, because the guys don't know about this. It's bad. - It's really bad. The things we've been purchasing and signing up for and subscribing for, it adds and adds it. And I know we joke every time we do a rocket money review or it's like, oh, if you weren't aware, by the way, rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels all your unwanted subscriptions. Monitors are spending and helps lower your bills that you can go to your savings. And the yard savings is about to hit an all-time low after we pay off this guy. - The Lamborghini Juris just cost a tremendous amount of money, and we damaged the one that we were driving. It was actually Rich's fault, which he will be struck for this. - He's gonna be struck. Richard is, he's already been struck by this time, many, many times, and we'll be in the rest of his life. - No, Steve, I would like to strike him again. The next time I see him, we get around here, wandering around coffee as he does. And I thought we could handle a mistake like this, but once I downloaded a rocket money, and looked at the finances, we have way more spending than I realized, and so we're gonna use the rocket money tools to cancel all those. If you wanna go to the same, let rocket money help you reach your financial goals by going through rocket money.com/theard, and you can try for zero dollars. That's rocket money.com/theard. - The thing is rocket money, it's good that we have this tool available to us before things got really, really bad. - Right. - We're gonna make it by the skin of our teeth. - And they will not find out about Richard. The shard will be struck to and fro, and nothing like to do nothing about it. - I'm gonna strike rich more times than I've done most things in my life. - And you're next. - I wanna kill those. - I need to. - They get better with time. - But you know what, we can't. - No, we can't. We gotta be strong. - No! - Wait, you're holding two though. Thanks, bro. (laughing) - That's the nice of the reward time. - Guys, I don't go fuck. - It's Tommy's. - It's Tommy's. If you remember from the fast food, Archie put up a picture of a screenshot of the Tommy's food right here. The thing we were served. - Go on any website that shows you what Tommy's food looks like, and then just post it next to what usually happens. - They've crafted the science. You know, is it cake or is it not cake? Meme, Jimmy Kimmel. - Yeah. - They've crafted that science with, is it poop in a diaper? - Yeah, or is it a burger? - Or is it a burger you bought? - And you actually don't know. - Don't know. - This looks like the twin cell sword from Dark Souls 3. - It does, yeah. - It looks like one of them. - Like what I'm trying to say is, these are like house fries. You buy them in the O'Rida bag, like the Cranker Cut ones. Get them in the fry, your mom makes them. - If you're getting the yellow paper, you know you won't catch up. So I'm interested to see if these are gonna be good alone. I'm immediately transported to a bowling alley. - Immediately. - These feel like bowling alley fries. I think that's a great way. But, not, I know we said this earlier, bowling alley fries, convention center fries. Convention center fries has to be the worst kind. - These are conventions that are fries. - No, bro. - They are. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - They are. - Maybe. - They are, listen, take a bite. - Maybe, maybe they're the freshest convention center fries possible. - Do me a favor. - Take a bite. When you feel the inner, the inner's, let the potato sit and play a little. - What is that? - Don't swallow, let it play a little. - Let it play, okay. - And just, let it play. - Take it, take it in. - How little is going on? And how it's actually kind of just like a net negative on your body. - Play it around. - Let it play. - There's nothing. - There's nothing. - There's nothing there. We've actually criticized a lot of fries today about this, but there's a particular vacuismus to the Tommy's fry. And to be fair to them, their ethos is, you take the diaper and you dump it. That's what they want you to do. They want you to take their gross discussing rotten chili diaper dump and they want you to pour it on this shit and then you get a fork and you like, put your hand in and you eat it with your hands, you get all your mouth. And then you sell it only fans or some shit. - Yeah, right. - Like that's what they want. - Tommy's, we don't make the diaper, we just poop in them. I think to be a little fair to Tommy's, I would like to place this in the very bottom of sauce shovel because I don't think they're in edible. - No, I don't think so. - I'm not grossed out by these. They're boring as fuck, they are not good. I would never order them again, but, but, but, if I'm at a convention center and fries are, I can't face a fucking hot dog. I can't face a burger. I'd get these and put ketchup on them, whatever. - Convention center fries are usually marked by being out very long and they're in that little glass like heated door. - Yeah. - And then that is what makes them truly inedible like slop horrors. - Right. - This feels as if, oh, the costumes are here. This feels as if these are the best version of that and it's not the craziest worst thing in the world. - 'Cause this would hit with some ketchup. - No, I see that, I agree with that. Because at the very least, they came from a restaurant that made them when you ordered them. - Yes, exactly. Anyway. - And here we are, Carl's Jr. - Can I get a small natural fries and a small waffle fries? Okay, thank you. - I must want a Lamborghini, if you can. (laughing) - So something about Carl's Jr. And it sound off in the chat if this happened to you, 'cause I'm 36, so there's like an age thing here. - I am. - I grew up, shut up. I grew up, I grew up in Colorado when I had Carl's Jr. But the commercials for Carl's Jr. How did it as a premium burger spot? Big burgers, big bun lettuce, big drippy burger for you. - And they had the awesome hot, big breasted women on the car wash, right, that was them? - I believe, yeah, it was the sauce, got them all. - Oh, yes, there's sauce on my fucking area. - No, I'm thinking of saving Silverman when he feeds or the Arby's and it gets in Amanda Pete's breasts and then he has to touch it. An amazing scene. - When I finally got to a Carl's Jr. I had to be like, is this premium? And I get here and it's fast food slot. - Yeah. - It basically McDonald's, but most of the time worse. - Yeah, it isn't a very interesting burger taste though. Like they have created a corner of the burger market that tastes only like Carl's Jr. - Oh man, my fucking head. - Feel terrible, I feel crazy, I don't feel terrible too. - Oh. - What is it? - It just looks like-- - When you open the bag and it's still fries. - You smell it. - Yeah. - It's like SpongeBob's breath coming at you. - Dude, I didn't hailed the exhaust to coming off of those. - Yeah, it's hot. - And it's really hot. - I got like bummed out. I was like, I'm gonna have to eat another fry. - And I'm trying not to let that influence my rating. - Okay, well, we got two. We got the waffle fries and we got the normal fries. Here's the normal fries and these are piping hot and motherfucker, okay, there's a straight out. It's literally bring my fingers as well. - I can see this, I can see the smoke. - And that's good, you know, you want them to serve you the hottest fry on the planet. - And they're very greasy. - Super greasy. - All right, one bite. You know the rules? - I mean. - These are kind of shitty. - Yeah, shitty, yeah, I mean, they're shitty. I don't have to say other things. - They're shitty fries. - These are, I'll say this, these are fries. I don't think I would want to finish. And like, if I'm starving, maybe a bit, but like, - This is a soft shovel and move on, angle. - Soft shovel, move on. Is it anywhere near and edible? - No, no, it's not in edible, it's just boring. It's like, this is what I imagine the Tommy's fries would taste like if they were thin instead of thick. Like, they're only better than the Tommy's fries because they adhere to what fast food fries are trying to do. - Yeah, what we commonly consider a fast food fry. - That tastes in your, right now, if you imagine a fast food fry in your head and you allow that thought to permeate to your nose and you smell it for a moment, that is the worst version of that is what these taste like. - Yeah. It's pretty, yeah, it's pretty bottom of soft shovel. - Yeah, it's, yeah, it's at the bottom for sure. I mean, but Tommy's is probably the very bottom. And now we gotta do the, what is the crinkle cut? You don't know crisscross? What do they call it? - These are waffle fries. - Waffle fries. - Carl's Jr. waffle fries and guess what? They're big. And it's hot it's a big-ass fry do can I can I be vulnerable? I love lawful fries I love the format. I love the size. I love taking a bite out of one and then having to finish it after that's fun Yeah, it is fun. It's fun to bite into something that has so many lines. Oh my god That's why I like the curly cue the spring the spring is so nice because there's so many lines to part of each of Something you said in the Halloween episode. It's like dude these guys are fucking ho autistic It's like bro does not every kid kind of like play every kid must play every kid plays and when you grow up You're just a kid still playing mm-hmm, right? And so you can I think it's okay to admit you like biting into lines without being Called autistic. I think neurotypical people first also like lawful fries and maybe they're just not able to explain it as Cleanly when I meet someone and I'm like hey, I remember when you eat string cheese as a kid and you would peel off each of the Four corners first and you'd eat them separately and then you eat the string cheese It's so much more interesting when someone goes dude of course are they finished your sentence for you? They know what you're gonna say yes then to be the guy who goes I never get that like what that's weird. You're weird. No, I just ate it No, I'm gonna kill myself in a field because I don't I don't know any I don't think about anything deeply in my life fulfillment I can't realize or figure out why I can't rewatch Rick and Morty enough time to feel anything So I'm gonna kill myself in a field. That's what you sound like. Bye. Take a big fat one. I Don't think I had an option God damn it is a cookie. This one's a cookie. All right I mean yeah, they're pretty good piece of all these I mean yeah look here's a here's a mistake that you don't want to see Look at how wet my fingers are wet. They're wet. They're wet. All right. I Don't like that. I mean I know I'm a five guys guy, but like I got limits, bro It's a little too greasy. It tastes like a waffle fry or a curly fry like that seasoned fry genre should but there is a There is a dirtiness to it. There is. Yeah, if I taste that and I don't like that and it is it's burnt will There it is. Yeah, damn at Wendy's right now. They got the pretzel bacon pub I think it was super T.F. He was on stream. He's like oh dude. I think they got the pretzel burger back at Wendy's or something like that That's a guy who needs hello fresh It was designed for that guy if he didn't like have his family cook for him Then I think he's in real crazy trouble nutritionally. I think I think his bones started to contort in crazy ways Where do we rent the waffle fry? I think that okay? I'd love waffle fries I love what they're doing here. This is grossing me out enough to where I don't want to touch it anymore And I'm not saying that because of anything fries all day because I think I can I think I'm a fried guy But I would I would be so far as to put this in like nasty, inedible No, it's so greasy. I really don't like the grease. They love the taste of bothering me Like you're not saw shovels because they're fucking waffle fries you can I give you a fucking they're gonna hate this controversial answer I hate it. You're gonna hate it. Everyone's gonna hate it, but I think it's for the best I think they're close enough to saw shovel that we should just put them in saw shovel and then we can just put one Instance of Carl's junior on the tier list Mmm Makes it so much cleaner. Yeah Like to me. I don't hate that if you gave me ranch with these fine. I'll eat them. That's fine I don't hate that. I think that's fine. If I seriously thought they were gross I would toss them in an edible. I would never look back But they're they were what I expected Yeah, this is just consolidation of data and information when did the mega to the mega bag you though? Okay, the bacon the home of the bacon When this guys were rounding a three-hour mark on a recording that is crazy which is kind of funny that in the middle a little really hot and There's a there's a darker tense. Oh very interesting color None of this is translating the camera. I don't feel actually that one looks like it's translated. They were our golden brown If I was making french fries at home and I took them out and looked at this I would think I had done a good job Like told my girlfriend we were doing this and she said you got it like get the Wendy's She like it's like your guilty pleasure. She's she's worse. Okay, if I squeeze this I bet I can get juice to come on It's grow. It's so wet. It's really wet. It's a wet fry You know there's a difference between heat wet like five guys I shouldn't say that. I mean it's greasy in the bag does not does not smell like a house. I don't know why it just doesn't feel as greasy I'm really pleasantly surprised it does not smell like a house. It does smell like a fry Here's what here's what my analysis It's trying to be Popeye's fries Whatever it's using is just a way out less. It is trying to say the building was the saddest I went into today Type one reason why I think it was sad in there What was the one what was one reason you think it was sad? They're all right. I feel like Christian there I mean, what else am I gonna do? It's I mean I got fried I got fries It's pretty chill I Christian's slowly gonna get better. I'm gonna master Christian. His room is duty message me on discord And he was like I rewatched Ludwig doing my room tour on stream And I saw you were the only one sticking up for me in chat and I appreciate that Because I of course bro like I'm not lying to you bro. I'm about this shit, bro I just touched my own hand and there was like a there was like a like a like an oil like a transfer of oils I hate that I really don't this is really gross and they're failing to be Popeye's I'm fucking disgusted by that Don't copy the goats Yeah, I mean, I think this is just like they're not in edible though. Yeah, it's just it's just It's not shelble. There's another Lambo. You know what I'm really. Oh, hey fellow billionaire Hey, bro. Hey fellow billionaire. Oh, you know, you know, I'm kind of realizing as we as we get through this tier list is Most fries aren't very good Okay, explain what you're trying to say. We're putting quite a lot in sauce shovel Most fries are just a vehicle for sauce. I'm realizing at these fast food restaurants. I think sauces do contain more of the nutrients that we've Wanted to touch with our tongues. Yeah, so your your theory here is that fries exist to put sauce into our mouths And when a fry goes above and beyond. Yeah, it should be it defies expectations Yeah, because the expectation is a very middleing one right which is not a good thing to be as a food right like what do we you know I mean in my head people say things a little time They say like how could you like like french fries are this the best you know Front like potatoes are the best food ever because they become so many different awesome things We love and I'm thinking about it and I'm like Not that many french fries that I'm like really I love the way I love other foods It was important for us in this tier list to put sauce in there to talk about sauce Right because it's catch up and sauce to whatever because it's like it's just such a crucial part of the the fry experience in general And I and what I'm trying to say is I implore you to think about fries without sauce yourself and Furthermore is that even relevant if we always have access to sauce Maybe it's not and maybe this video can be a proof that it isn't important I don't know when you think about if you are Wendy's right at some level You've got secret ingredient. You've got a way you do things. You got what separates you from the McDonald's from the Popeyes but at a more important level I think you have the cost of materials The cost of overhead. What are we gonna spend this year on potatoes on oil on salt? What farms do we get them from to minimize that price as much as possible? Yeah, and when every restaurant is fighting all together to minimize the cost and up the profit I feel like we're all gonna be pointed towards a lot of the same places like this farm in Cambodia that uses child labor is the cheapest by a lot and we all get the same golden potatoes from them and At some level, I think they're cutting corners to differentiate by including Harsher and different spices and oils That's where I mean that's where the difference gets made up right is like is the seasoning and many of the bad fries or Boring fries. I think aren't caring to play the game. They aren't they aren't They're saying you like fries enough to buy fries You'll eat potatoes with salt that are fried and I think that's why in and out becomes a sort of centralizing fried discussion point is because For one the contrast between the burgers and the way the fries are perceived in in and out itself, but also the fact that they are It seemingly Get not giving the attention to fries that other places might be it's a no gimmick fry So what McDonald's to next step McDonald's feels like a no gimmick fry, and it's what we also base everything around You know no matter how California you might be McDonald's is the fry that you're comparing all the other fries to words Rishard you have to know Rishard does not know where we are driving ever and then we arrive. He's as surprised as the It is so interesting. He is like the opposite of a chauffeur He's like I'm gonna take you somewhere If why does he never fucking Rishard? I'm gonna swag you You will be struck to you will be struck And it will come at it will come at a random time that you do not expect you ought to know when the striking is coming We need a better car. We will never kill you. We thought you get whatever you wanted Rishard We could go as fast as humanly possible anywhere one of the options we had available to us was a stretch limo with the American flag painted all over it And all over Maryland, I was like, I want that badly, but it won't fit and dry. Dude, we're in an airfield. What are you doing? -Rushard. -Rushard. -We're gonna fly for this one. -Yeah, we have to be the fly. I mean, I think last night, 4am, just playing Krillian. We were trying to nail the Krillian, and we're trying to get a 400. Dude, we got, what we hit for what? -It's like 410. -410. We got two golds. That's the first time I've ever seen one gold, we got two. Yeah, I was, I was on an unbelievable crazy heater with my deep knowledges. Krillian is bullshit, though. There's so many words that just aren't in the list that totally were. There was one that was like, name of type of door. And you look through the ones that it would accept, and they're the most crazy, like, you're just saying a word. -It's like jiggle, snarf. -I'm like, that's not a door. -No, it was more like, it was more like, gun door. -Ah. -And it's like, I don't think it meant the actual door of a gun. Maybe it did. I don't know. It was annoying. It was annoying how many answers they take, and then you throw up 10 points, and you're like, I guess I'm fucking idiot, I guess. We are at Fat Burger? -No, skip. -Skip? We're by the airport. -Who eats Fat Burger? -I don't know. -Wait. -Zipper said. -Zipper enthusiasticly avoided himself and said, I eat Fat Burger. The car has insisted that we try Fat Burger. I've never, I've seen the logo many times driving around living here. I've never eaten out of Fat Burger. -Never mind. -This bag is piping fucking hot. It is greasy as I'll get out. -This, this is a new shape. A new shape. -This is a new shape. -We had a new shape, bro. -I've never seen this shape. -Okay. -Zipper is like, I knew this would happen. -What is the shape? -Let me guess. -I don't know. -I don't know. -I don't know. -I don't even know how to guess. -Oh my goodness. -Look at this shape. Look at it. It's like a geometric, it's like a Valorant map. -Hold on. I need one. I need to hold it. -Well, there you go. It's like a box cutter. -Dude, it's OW. Ow, dude. It's hot as fuck. I'll suffer with you. -Dude, it is so hot. -Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. -It is literally so hot. -Why? -I'm thinking about it. -Don't. That's scary. -Inedible. -Inedible. -Yeah. It's pretty bad. -Dude, what the fuck? -I immediately, I will not have another. -No, that is gross. -It tastes like you would use it to like send a package. -It's. -It's pretty bad. -It's fucking terrible, how? -It is like unbelievably terrible. And zipper insisted. We got a save zipper. -Zipper probably has diabetes fucked up. -Yeah, you can eat and shit like this. -I mean, okay, look, not to be difficult, but it's like, it's what a sauce shovel kind of literally is. -I don't do a fuck with the shape. That is disgusting. I wouldn't eat that with sauce. -It's insulting to make a fry that big when it's that bad. -It's really, you know what? And I'll say this, dude. I think this is the purest, like, version of a potato that we've had today. -It's just eating a potato. -It's like, it's closer to an unseasoned, unsalted potato that you could ever get, but also comes with like, a dire consequence. -All right, well, they have normal fries too. -I would like to modify the inedible category a little bit by title. What do you think about saying wasted calories slash inedible? -Sure. -So, it encompasses when they're literally inedible, but it also encompasses when it's like, this was such a waste of it. -Just not worth it. -It's not worth it. It's not worth indulging in fries. You might as well get a salad. -Because even a potato, pure with nothing done to it, is not inedible. So it's like, you know, they make it inedible by making it gross with stuff they add. So there are examples like this where it's not inedible. It's just like, such a fucking waste. -All right, so here's the normal fry. -For you. -Like, whatever, though. I don't even. -It tastes like a vegetable, like a celery. -It's just really weird. It's really weird that it tastes like this. -What the fuck is this? -I guess it's the same. It's nothing different here. -It's a little more salty, I think, because there's more of, like, there's more stuff for the salt to coalesce around, rather than being this, like, plain, kind of, like, even plain of salt. -Man, it's weird, because I'd probably put this one in sauce trouble, and I'd probably put the other one in wasted calories. -But it's like, we really want to give Fat Burger two spots. -No, we don't. -It is interesting, though. -Maybe we reviewed just off the fat fry at the Fat Burger. -The fat fry. I mean, look, we can put them. We should separate it to be fair. We can just separate it. -Okay. -But one of them we didn't, which I don't care about either. We'll just not. We do what we want. We're billionaires, and we're entrepreneurs. -We're billionaires, and we can do anything we want, and you will just listen. -We're literally going to pick up Kevin O'Leary after this game. -You are my drinking. -You're going to go drinking, and then we're going to pitch him on our idea that we've been working on for a long time. That place is just called Pizza Loca, and it had the Pizza Hut logo. -I like that. -This made me not miss the fast food challenge. I feel a similar way, and I'm like, I don't want to do that. -You missed doing something fun and crazy, but. -Yeah, but not that. -It was interesting because of the suffering. -Right. -I still remember. It doesn't take a lot for me to remember how it felt. It was physically, like, go back to the moment where I was like, no more. -No more. -I think this is actually a good thing to do once a year, because it makes me really turned off by this kind of food. This is really gross to me out. I don't think I'll have French fries for a while. -You know, the other night, I was like. The Lord was testing my will. Because I've been trying really hard to eat way healthier and eat less. And I just want to talk about soul bad last night. -It's so bad. And you know what I did instead? I drove to 7-11 and bought pickle bites. Because you know how many calories are in the 7-11 pickle bites, like the cold ones in the refrigerated part? -85. -0. You burn more calories than you do eating them. -That is pretty unexpected as wild. -But it's also. -What is it? -So it's a pickle. -It's pickle. It's like a chopped up pickle in a little cold bag. -Okay. -And it's got like vinegar, and you eat it. -Right. It's a salty little nice awesomeness. -It's like, it's been my hack. It's been my hack for instead of a crunch rep supreme, I get the pickles. -You know what the hack is to pretty much never eat Taco Bell? Is regulate your sleeping schedule and eat dinner at 8 p.m. -Oh, kill yourself. -I only ever ordered Taco Bell because I'm able to logically justify that I technically didn't eat my second meal today. And I forgot to eat, and now it's one and nothing's open. -Now this is the only time I eat it ever. -It's funny because I don't eat Taco Bell. -All right, sorry. I don't order Taco Bell. -You walk. -I don't walk. I drive. -You drive? -I make the journey. -That's good. It's good to accompany a journey with it. -I think I actually have this internal rule that I'm realizing I've been following is where I don't want Diesel's 850 a gallon, where I don't. -Oh wow, it's fucking high as shit. -I don't order fast food. I make the journey to fast food as a sort of appenance for choosing fast food. -Oh, the only fast food I've, like, pretty much ever ordered is Taco Bell. -It's like late as fuck, and I'm not trying to get in the car. -Who is talking to about talking to on that mural? -It was like on the phone with somebody. -Oh, man. -Dude, we are getting fucking owned right now. -My emergency services? -I bet it's not even that big of a deal. -Well, they're going to the fucking that big of a deal. -Do you think you can do shit like this basically forever? Or do you think you are genuinely affecting your life expectancy? -Oh, way, bro. People do meth every once in a while. -But they die early, usually. -Not if you do it every once in a while. -That's what, like, big meth won't tell you. It's like, you can do it every once in a while. It's just that it's really hard to control that. -Like, big meth would love to tell you that. Big meth would be, like, do it every once in a while. Tell me that bad. -Big meth, Loki, it does say that. You're right. -Doing something like this every once in a while does not harm you in the way that, like, long habits will do it. That's why sitting in a chair all fucked up, it's kind of annoying for a day. But if you do it for a year, then you get back problems. This is how life works. -Oh, my tummy, man. It's starting to actually make sharp pain. -Just hold strong, bro. -I'm trying, but but Rashard had been pissed on taking us to case. -He knows that I'll be too sluggish to strike him. -Oh, it was his plan all along. -It was his plan all along. -Shard, I want to hit you, but I can't reach you. -We should arm-rich. -We should train Rich in weaponry. -Yeah, I think it's good. -This is in case we run into any weird yard fan. -We need Rich to be able to handle himself and protect us. -I think that's important for us, obviously, but also for him. -Rich? -You know what? -Have you ever, do you own a firearm? -No. -He does not know. -I make Rich learn Krav Maga. -He actually legally register his fists as weapons. -This is my butler, Rashard. -He does Krav Maga. -Krav Maga is a holy Israeli fighting style. -I wonder if it's illegal to have those weapons on your person. -It's a Israeli fighting style. -Krav Maga. -What does it teach IDF and shit? -It's not a grappling. -I don't know much past that. I can't lie to you. -My head Krav Maga is just a punch really hard. -I don't know. -I don't know. -I don't know. -What more can you be doing with your hands? -Well, there's grappling and there's kicks and there's punches and there's fighting styles are based on what? types of things you're willing to do with your body and what, but just have fast center on you see how fast you got to punches yeah I mean punches like no one is like abstaining from punches kickboxers you still box yeah I thought maybe I get you on that I think you would think it was only kicking first I'll be like wow well played oh we are at canes is this the one with a crazy mural that we went to during the faster challenge I think it is the murals but there it's so hey and there's a liquor store across the street yeah I remember all this there is the mural is show hey otai we kind of just farm this in front of Ali don't we you're our little content slut aren't you aren't you Rashad you're not our slut now you wasn't talking about you careful it's a Lambo Lambergainy mercy fresh fries also Lambergainy's all they hurt me oh we have to talk to a man in the back in he thirst first guy with man we talk to hi good can I just get you only got the normal fries right crinkle cup fries that's all I won't bro just a order fries you check us out we're doing that we're driving around trying to find all the fries and taste them this is full of fries look at this isn't it crazy yeah yeah 12 places and this is our last stop do you like the fries here you love the fries here okay now catch up that's part of the rules thank you thank you nice young man it was cool I got to show someone the the right bombs it'd be cool if you held it out the windows through up on them oh so sorry let me clean it this hundred fingers guess how much it is don't look a hundred fingers cost yes you can buy a hundred chicken fingers um 5999 higher 8 9 5 $160 more than a dollar a finger for a hundred yeah that's Trump thanks Trump thanks Trump he shot a missile at the eye of Tola cuz Benjamin Netanyahu told him to do so yes right and now we pay that much for a hundred chicken fingers oh you're on the curb this car doesn't seem big enough to warrant how afraid you are for sure this car is the size of my car well after being in a Lamborghini all day we have been mind controlled how this I would be bored of this car the day after I bought it yeah I mean we're not driving it though driving it is the true pleasure the sweetest pleasure of it it doesn't operate it it doesn't feel more expensive in here though this seems like if you look at all of it it's like I can see a Kia having this layout yeah I mean what is it supposed to be like back here dude the screens and shit like a BYD maybe the bends has a fucking massage seat really yeah and like I expect some bullshit if I'm paying what does this car cost you think dude it's got to be like over a hundred you look up how much it costs Lamborghini Urish 2025 I guess is 185K I guess is a hundred and forty five K for you at lower I think this is expensive car yeah it's like no not to 50 I'm gonna get 185 came see my guy do the base trim is 250 damn that's fucking crazy is not worth it is up to 375 thousand dollars it's not worth it at all you haven't drove it you're not a true driver I've been in it all day you didn't drive it is it was sharp drove it is it worth it to anyone to hurt us now is it worth it to you I don't think it's worth it but I think I think it's it's it's it's foolish to judge the worth of a car if you have not operated it that's all but you said you don't think it's worth it you judge the you judged it you and driven it yeah yeah I'm keeping that in consideration I'm suffering in restaurant is just watching starts plotting his reshards plotting his escape that's what we should be talking about reshard thinks that we won't discover him leave the chart doesn't know that while he was sleeping we tagged him like a deer shard doesn't know we put the chip we're sure we put a chip in uh-oh you're gonna have to dig it out with a knife you're gonna have to dig it out the knife if you want to get it and we also put fake chips in so if you find one you don't know it's real yeah I just say I fall asleep while saying that we have the last bag of fries we have the last bag of fries and then we're fucking done we're only two guys and we're only two guys but we're fry guys I've never seen this did they switch from paper to plastic is that plastic this is new maybe it's like oh not interesting let's open her up and it says live like a caniac one fry that's one for all and the girls are looking uh-oh the girls are looking at the Lambo yeah yeah hey ladies ladies when some fries ladies all right kinkle cut from this is canes now canes oh famously the cane sauce is what you go for the cane sauce chicken and you get sauce it's the show up for the cane sauce maybe it'll outlive the expectation I'm gonna take a bite I am organic huh I'm not as crunchy as I thought boring it's a pretty livable crinkle cut boring I think it's the best crinkle cut of the three we had today naked no shake shock that's right I forgot I'm losing your mind I'm losing my grip on reality and all the things I believe in sauce shovel for cane sauce next we came all this way for that yes to prove that it's just a soft it's a soft shovel for cane sauce and that proves it it is a fucking mid-ass fry crinkle cut is fucking mid I'm tired of lying let me tell you this then if you're listening in the fucking chat in the chat that is in the shot for one number two if you think crinkle cut is more than a sauce shovel I want you to explain why you think that and I don't want you to sound like an asshole either because I'm not coming at you I just want to know what you think sometimes people get like real fucking crazy in these these comments about this it's like look if you feel attacked that's fine but this particular discussion is about what you feel as a crinkle cut enjoyer that's right and I believe it's just a sauce shovel that's what I believe will you change my mind will you try guys we're gonna leave the tier list used for this video in the comment section I implore you to try making one yourself maybe if you're a Patreon sub drop it in the discord maybe if you use the the everything app you can post it there post it wherever you wherever goons are found if you're an audio listener and thought this was pretty much the worst week ever of the show that's on us but we hope to see you again in the page it can't be worse in Hong Kong it just can't be yeah there's just nothing helping you there we hope to see you again next week and if not it was fun wall lasted but remember the good times that we did have together that it has been the art podcast this week it's very long one and the only two winners of the go to category are Taco Bell Nacho fries and Popeyes yeah man really if you would have shown me that going into this I would have been like that's not me that that's how this is this could never be my list the shit they're working on it Taco Bell and Popeyes they're truly engineers five guys fuck you man you put on goaded that's so after you had those fries you still think it's goaded I love those I'm not like capping I'm not doing this to fuck with you I believe in what I'm doing and saying I just do I love five guys look at me and tell me you did not put it in go to despite me tell me it is not good goons okay listen are you serious bro you have to listen to the Popeyes one changed us and you're gonna put it in that fucking cat I love those fries they're goaded to me you have to understand that we use our one times they aren't it they aren't to inflict damage on each other it's to celebrate and raise up our beliefs above all else it's bullshit that I lost mine why is it bullshit we played we played it out you don't just get to like you you you need to use it up all right fine where would you put your one time we can change this I don't care it's not like you can nullify my five guys so fucking do it then I I think it's fine I care too much about the integrity of the list I care too much what we always do at one time literally the only we always do it only smudge on this list is five guys it's the only one but it's not a smudge all the way because I believe it's the best and I you have to hold that because if you think something is the best I will be like I fucking disagree and I think you're crazy but it's like yeah okay he believes in something and I I extend that to you you don't extend that to me the thing is like the reason why I'm so mad about five guys bring the fries is that being a boy from from California the conversation is five guys versus now that's the conversation and on my tier list when I went out and tried all of them I'm saying five guys one and I hate that because that is the conversation all the other fries are just they're they're along the path that is the conversation and I have to sit here and I got to be like five guys what does it mean to you what does it mean to you that we one of your best friends who got crazy answers on the krillian last night thinks that five guys is better what does that mean to you I'm not I'm not following sheep shit I'm-- I'm following my nose. - Mind your tongue. - Mind your lost in the sauce. - You think I'm lost. - I think you're lost. - You think I'm lost and you're not lost. - But at the same time, being got no sauce, you're lost. - I'm not lost. - But you can also get lost in the sauce. I think we gotta get out of here. I think we just gotta end this, 'cause we're definitely gonna have to-- - I'll let you, bro. - Fist fire, it isn't that long. - What would you put on your all the sexual energy that's clearly between us? - Oh, we're fucking after this. - We're fucking after this. - I'm gonna suck it off the bone. - We're gonna smell like a house in the house. Love it with me. - We put a slime-shaped asterisk on five guys on the tier list. - You are so-- And I did it. Like, you want the historical record to show. - I do, that's exactly what I want. - You know exactly what I want. - I think that's totally fine, bro. - All right, deal. - All right. - Deal, I don't need anything else. - Good goons. W goons, we'll see you guys next week. (upbeat music)