Ep 267: Godfrey & Gary Vider

Hey, everybody we're here. This is it. We might be drunk, baby. What's up guys? Hey, and gals and gals. We're trying to be more women friendly. We need more women fans. Well, Chelsea Handler didn't help, but we're trying. Lord knows we're trying. She was cool. I like this. Still, um, bangable. Yeah. I'd say. Is that a compliment? Yes. Okay. I think the way you worded it probably wasn't ideal. Well, it's like referring to women's vagina's pussy. It's like, I don't think they love the word, but bangable is a compliment. Right. If a woman told me I was bangable, I'd be like, thank you. Of course, but I think it's different for a woman. Probably. You know, uh, anywhere that during sex, you can say mean things to women, but not before sex. Yeah, they kind of have to prompt it though. You can't add a nowhere. Just be like you or that's true. They have to be like, they have to get the, the wheels and motion a little. But then sometimes girls like, I don't want to tell you what to do because then it ruins it. And then you take some liberties and now you have a restraining order. Thanks. There you go. Ridiculous story. Sorry. I know. Sorry. I slut-shamed you. I tried. I was in character and seen. All right. Well, there you go. But I can see her being pretty wild in the second. What, uh, what's the new man? Same old. The wife's out of town. So I've been watching movies at home. I get the whole TV to myself. What are you watching? I watched Jeremiah Johnson last night. I know the meme. It's so good. It's Redford. Redford Sidney Pollock directed it. John Billious wrote it. He wrote. I mean, this is a apocalypse now. This is a Conan Red Dawn. He's like a real man. He's a letterman. Who? No, it's kidding. It was a late night show. Anyway, yeah, I know. I heard it's good. Oh, it's fun. It's super fun. It's about a based on a real guy. Yeah. Name a John liver Eaton Johnson or something like that. And he would eat the Indians like Native Americans liver after he killed him. So that's a wild movie. It's good enough to waste you. You got to eat the whole Indian. I've always said eat the whole Indian. Exactly. You don't want to be wasteful. Yeah, I never seen it. Oh, it's great. I never seen it either. You know, when I watch the other day, my buddy Alex English tells me to watch that's an underrated comedian right there. I love Alex killer comment. We got to get him in here. We should love Alex. Good hang anyway. He told me we're talking movies. He goes, you've never seen. We're talking about how we both like camera because you've never seen. I bet you've seen this when we get in here. Get in here. Get in here. Come on. Hey. God for God for everybody. I was going to talk about the movie paid in full. You've seen that movie, right? What are my best friends? Who's one of your best friends? Oh, he's a great actor. He's just in my podcast. Oh, nice. We came up together in Chicago with the portrait comedy scene. Oh, geez. Talking to the mic. Sorry. Yeah. What? Oh, what is my buddy, buddy? Yeah, I just was on the phone with him a couple days ago. Yeah, he's a great actor. Yeah, he's great. The wire. The wire is the best show on HBO ever. It's a man. It's probably my number two when you I might go to Prano's one. Well, no, yeah. No, I gave you. Yeah. I love the wire. No, no, no, listen, soprano. Sprano's lasted longer, didn't it? I think so. But soprano is more comedy. So for real. Just as good. Yeah, they're two different types, but it's still about crime. Yeah. Sure. But it's both equal. You know, you're right. I didn't even realize it was HBO. What's that? It's a. Yeah. HBO had a run. They didn't move to sopranos move to another channel. No, no, it was all HBO. Yeah. Yeah. The run man. No, I mean, it was oh, Gandalf HBO. Every spears does the best James crazy. Every pull it up. I never seen anybody doing. Me and him do Jason state them versus. Can you do Gandalf, Amy? No, you can do almost everyone. You know, I was working. I'll say I'm Elliott. Oh, shit. I'm watching Landman. Landman is in rep is on. I gotta watch it. Landman is great. Phenomenal. Let's hear it. It's so good. Phenomenal. That is crazy. Phenomenal. Wow. That's legit. Phenomenal. Who's you? What's the one to get asked for the most? Damn, it's a Trump dude. Yeah, it's Trump because I just did one to Trump with Adam Ray. Oh, yeah, I saw that. Adam calls me and goes because I did. What did I do? Okay, he they read the beacon. It was a sold out show, right? So Adam Ray, they called me and I go, they go, do where are you? I go, I'm at the gym. Like, you're at the gym. Oh shit, man. Oh, what's the name? Joey Diaz just bailed on us. Diaz was on his way to the show. Yeah. He got too high. I need to pull over. I gotta get off. You know, he just fucking Cuban. What are you about? He just fucking bales. Yeah. I go, what do you need me for those dude? We need to fill a segment. Yo, just Steve Harvey thing you do. Just fucking show up. I go, where are you as beacon? Well, I'm at equinox. It's only 10 blocks away. Oh my God. I was like, fuck it. I'll be there. I'm in my sweats, though. So I run over there. Like the duo on stage and we just fucking Steve Harvey it up with Dr. Phil. Wow. I'm proud that fucking killed it. And then he goes, yo, that is crazy. So that's at the comedy store. That's December 10th whole. I thought you were Farrakah. Holy shit. Farrakah's hair hasn't gotten that one. That's true. But yeah. Um, so he flies me out, man. And I stay at the hotel next to the comedy store the azo, azo, azo, whatever. And so I'm there. And what's his makeup artists that are from Matt TV in SNL. They do my wig. They do a real. Oh, wow. They do a real wig thing. They do a real like the wig thing. And I say, yeah, don't, don't, don't do anything to the skin. I want it to look just like that. I want to look like a multiverse Trump. I mean, Afro Trump. So I said, I look like a preacher. Yeah, totally. Tell evangelist. What are you? Dr. Dude, Dr. Dude, dirty. No, no, no, past the dude dirty. You know who gave me that name? Dr. Dre did. Oh, really? I know. I have a lot of weird shit. Well, you've been blowing up. You're all over my feed. Well, it has to happen. It's so fun. Now you've been blowing up for a while. But I, I've been busing my ass on a social media. I'm a choice, bro. Yeah, it shows. Well, I mean, everyone's been doing their own kind of thing. Everyone. All you got everybody's. We haven't been doing it the normal way. Sure. Whether you're on Killtony or whatever. Everybody's comics have created their own fucking this fucking community of which is doing it our own way. Man, whether it's, yeah, you're sigoring as shit and broken in his shit. It hasn't. We haven't been. Been been moved around and bossed around by the fucking network. You know, we're just doing it. We're sigging waiting for him. Let's do it ourselves. And we did. Shultz was a sick one of the same guy. I remember him first saying it. We got to start counting on ourselves. And fuck these people, man. And look at everybody got fired off a series like Sam. I did. All of us did. You were showing serious too. Yeah. Two years bitch fired me. She wanted me to have a show. I go, I don't really do radio. No, you should do a show. She saw me in the hallway. You know, I was doing Jim show. Yeah. And so yeah, yeah, you should do. I was like, I don't really do radio. I don't like sitting in a fucking, you know, I want to show up at whatever clock. You know, yeah, what's up, Tom and Jim in the morning? I know that shit. So I was like, I was like, all right, what time? What about 12 o'clock? I think I could do that, right? Okay. So it was for a urban view. It's like Al Sharpton's on that stage and it's like gospel. It's like conservative black people. I said, well, I'm not conservative. I talk shit. So what's up? She goes, no, we need our, you know, our channels a little boring. We want her name. I'm not a name, her name. Fuck that bitch. I'm giving her a pro now. It's no one now. It's fucking Howard Stern, Bollabooie and a Kirk. And that fucking offer. It's the reason why it's still floating. You know, and I was doing stuff for Stern. Little like he does these little like sketch things. So I was doing some voice stuff for him. It was dumb. But anyway, I'm doing that. And so I along with this show, I was doing so at 12 o'clock, I got an hour show and it was power hour. And I just brought some of my comic friends on talking shit. But it started doing well. And you know, I had little, you know, the thing you answer calls and shit. So my shit stayed lit like because I was talking shit. Because I said, I'm going to talk shit. I'm telling you, I'm not. I don't hold me back. No, go do whatever you want. Yeah. So I went in doing my shit. I had different people on. I had method man on my shit. And then I had all kinds of people coming through, right? Because they used it when they were promoting shit. Right. He shows doing pretty good. Yeah, we're sick of sway. And then Charlotte, man, don't get me. And then bam, they say, hey, you want two hours now because people say you need longer than you need more than an hour. It's like one of your sets. Oh, yeah, only 15 minutes. Sure. If I don't last, I'm doin' 30, fuck that. I got to watch the service go by guess what fuck that shit. Yeah, you're able to help. There's a jugular before you got All right motherfucker, that's another 45 So yeah, so I got two hours, right? It was six to eight You know, I said I think I could do that. That's like prime time. So I've got moved to six to eight. I started doing really well again You know, and then all of a sudden all of a sudden I started getting hounded by them. Oh, you can't see this. I go And then I got fired one day because I said something crazy. What did you say I said something about it was I was in DC I went to the series XM um the big studio. They're main. It's unbelievable. It's beautiful So I was like, you know what I'm gonna do some cross-promoting since I'm doing a DC improv. Yeah, I'm gonna go I want to go buy the studio. It was fired from soon when he where he hosted the cock gallery complex on Urban View channel I didn't say why oh the a truck driver to fan approach gallery for a photo at the headquarters In the lobby. Oh, and you said no photos were allowed. No, no the dude at the desk. Oh, it was like a gay dude who was transitioning like I know he Had to make up and look no a dude black dude, and he was like, but he was rude. He was like this. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no photos. You can't I'm better. You know, like I can't tell what side he's transitioning to It's like that's why they're about you know, you can't up out out I'll put this and it was just me and him in a lobby shoot. I go the guy is a subscriber Yeah truck drivers are what keeps um series XM going exactly. He's a subscriber the guy just it was a nice old He was a older man like yeah, my kids love you then and she you can I say man You're kind of rude dude like like like there's no one here. Yeah, who cares? It was the weirdest exchange and God It's like so I beat the shit out of her and they fired me. I don't know him So no, I uh, so I went to Laura Cote who's um, yeah, I want to the main anchors on CNN now. She's a lawyer She's badass lawyer lower lower coach. Okay. She's the shit and she I went on yeah hurt I went I went on her show and you know, I was because I was cross promoting so I woke up really early to do these different shows Just to talk you know get on her show get on so I went on her show and I she goes yo What's what you seem a little like disturb? I said yeah Because people know I would talk shit. I talk shit. I would say I should I would love to smack the shit out of this person But right so I say yo this dude and downstairs He like well, you know, he kind of stopped me from giving a guy a picture He was like he was I guess he was part of the LGBT community and he was made he was real rude to me He was just like rude so I imitate people anyway Uh-huh, so he was like and I imitated exactly what he said he goes now no pick shaft. There's no pictures Yeah, and he was so rude and he had these braids and I wanted to take him by his braids and drag him out and throw him out to throw him out the door And then that's what got me fired Care for your gay, but he was just rude. Yeah, but they love to put because your gay you see it has nothing to do with your character Right, you know, I mean, of course. You just rude that but they like to combine Yes, you know, and by the way braids is not male or female. I could be either right, but what's funny is they like to combine it when it's convenient Right because if I were to say I'm I don't like gays. Oh, there has nothing to do with my character. Oh Then they want to be human after they you they go back and forth. They volley with the shit. Welcome to the white man's bird Which is by the way the name of our podcast the white man's burden Oh White man's burden was John Travolta and wait a minute in the deep South green. Who's my friend who passed away? Peter green is that Peter green or not? Oh, here's a good actor. No, he was my mask the mask Picture remember they were doing the dead. Oh, he did die. Yeah, green. That seemed with the black man's burden, right there So what now You wouldn't oh, I'm gonna call a couple of hard pipe hidden niggas with the homes here You hear me talking Hill Billy boy. I ain't doing it you by damn sight. I'm gonna give me leave alone. Yeah Wow, it's like right now two things you stay gone and be gone That's good. That's a fucking great thing. That was great. I see but I was I was talking up with the girl once Watching came on and she's like let's fuck and I was like now we got to finish the scene. I can't be I can't Always used to have it in and wait This is a saw to me scene. I can't get in the mood to this. I need I need the redemption and you have a sword over I'm choosing the loops like the way Bruce Willis is choosing the women's dead baby That woman and that scene the next thing like To chop you fucking yeah, that's my that was my friend. Whoa. Pete green was a fan. How did he pass away? He's an old school New York dude like really old usual suspects - yeah, Pete green Let me tell you one of the nicest human beings Pete was old school 70s from the 70s in New York City. Sure. So I met him in LA Mm-hmm. I met him with this dude named this guy. He was a rock. He's a razor. He's an underground rock dude named Harry and He and he he has he's got. He's always dressed God. So he was a fan of mine So we were hanging out and he peaked green would come around and he goes Hey, man, but big fair man. I love your stuff, man. I'm gonna come see you, man. I'm come see you So one day he comes and sees me and he introduced me to his dad, too She's my father the whole night and then one day he comes to the laugh factory Fucking great. He comes he goes. What time you going on? That's what I'm gonna be there. He doesn't fucking see no one else Yeah, he walks in leather jacket. Just fucking comes in walk. He's after him done He goes, yo, that was fucking funny. I'll see you later Yeah, he was that's a good guy. He was a nice guy, man. And you know Yeah, he looks like him. He plays the meme. Yes. Yes, you're in in the mask. Yeah. Yeah, he now his face is so like he's so pro But he was he passed away rest in peace. He yeah, he was he was cool as fuck undetermined dead That's that's a bad ass. Wait. That's how I want to go out. Yeah Undetermined. I want to go at the term and But it's like they said we're We're about to know that's a good one. Yeah, so yeah, so oh, yeah anyway, the Trump thing Adam's like hey, man We need to do Trump and Biden. We need to Trump Biden, dude. You got to come do it. I said all right It'd be it's our first time and you're fucking so your Trump is come on man. Shit. It's crazy Mm-hmm. I said all right. We go over there. We do it. You know, I go here. We go. I'm not gonna lie That shit was funny as Adam was funny. Adam's good. He's a pro, man Like an improviser Yo, he had you know, he had teleprompter were you two guys who were need I guess Adam was on man TV from Yeah, man, but but you were two guys that could have been on SNL and and just never never went that way But you went you made your own shit both. Yeah, I said why not turn the phone on yourself I just during COVID. I just took advantage. I was like we don't have a fucking choice. Did you ever were you ever close to SNL? Did I tell you about my audition? Oh, yeah, get it there. I know this is a sore subject No, I'm not I don't it's not like it's doesn't it's not a body blow anymore. Okay, you used to be like The Asians were diagnosed What about SNL? I remember this is when I knew it was getting crazy when Dan cook This is when Dan was in his really that era of when he was really like unbearable It's not me knocking on me. He's all right now, but I knew Dan. I knew Dan when he was at the seller, man When he come to sell it from Boston be like, yeah, you know, right and I knew him when he was a berry cats Right, people told bro, you know that's it. And so I So he when he got to a certain level because he was wanting to is that me? I believe it is You're blowing up. No, no, that's I needed to silence staying cook go and shut the fuck up dude. I was like this dude. I heard you broke No, I remember you did the half hour in the tank top. I'm like you don't have one friend be like She was funny though. No, it was very funny, but the tank top was a bowl. It was bold and he turned like remember he went to the camera No, it was a good half. I was so I was like who is this? No, it was different for sure. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, that was he made me laugh. I think sleeves are a good idea first Yeah, just my opinion he was really funny and dope is hell and I give him his props But it was a period where he does he was he didn't really speak to a lot of us anymore Oh, wow, he was just even though he took the hit that tour with Goldman and Bobby robbie and those are the guys He came up with you know, Al del Benny. Oh, yeah, he was it was Al del Benny and the monkeys. That was a Improv group in Boston. It was Robert Kelly Al del Betty dang cook. It was all and they were all together in Boston Yeah, and so after he got to a certain level I mean, and this is not me not contained at all. Just I just noticed they weren't speaking with each other It just wasn't you know what it is what it is, but What the fuck was it? Oh, yeah, I remember he told me he goes Take goes, I don't understand why you know that's an all that was like But even he said it again Yeah, but he even said it and you know and he's a guy that I could do a lot of stuff too, but yeah, I've been asked that and I go, yeah, I tried, I tried, I told you that the audition, yeah, but it was on Norton's, I was on Norton's podcast last two weeks ago, we're gonna have, and I said, I auditioned for it and it was me, Kevin James. Wow. I was Kevin James. Well, I, Kevin's doing just fine. Sure. Sure. Two sitcoms later. Yeah. In fucking. Every movie. Cindication. Shit, man. Yeah. Yeah. It was a bunch of us, man, Fallon. Whoa. It was Tracy Morgan. Peter Graham. Whoa. Peter Graham. He was like, we do Zed's dead as a sketch. Yeah. Yeah, we had to do four characters for impersonations. I did the character. I did five. I topped it with a Johnny Carson. Whoa. Wait, do you remember the other impressions you did? I don't remember. Can you do a good Carson? Wow. Good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I did not know that. Wow. That's going to be a star. Yeah. I could do them. And they gave it to Morgan. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it is, I didn't even get to the second round. Damn. I got a standing ovation at night. Whoa. Yeah. And I'm coming from Chicago. Maybe three years in comedy. And I'm like, I get to, my manager's like, okay, you're auditioning, um, Anthony Michael Hall's dad. Oh shit. Yeah. Anthony Michael Hall was my, was my friend like, I knew it. It was weird. I know Anthony Mike, but he's big now. Right. I know I'm a 16, but I know Matthew 6, too, now, and he's like, what's up, man, I'm like, holy shit. Yeah. And he did dead zone. Oh, yeah. He was dead zone. And his mom is a singer. Mercedes is mom's singer. Tom Chistarrows is dad. So it was there. I was being managed by Tom Chistarrow, David Klingman, Italian and Jewish combination. And we had Sandra Bullock, John Ligwizamo, me, Mike Epps, uh, this guy TK Kirkland got us all together. Kirkland and all of them. He got us, he got me that management because they met him in Chicago. It's my shit is insanely weird. And that's when that's the night. That's the year I met, uh, my first roommate was Viola Davis. Yeah, I remember this. I remember this. I remember this. Yeah. Upper was signed. Wow. Oh my God. You know everybody. I know. Things worked out for her. Yeah. Yeah. She's good, man. And she's always good. She still has little discrepancy about her pay, like they still underpay her because she's a black woman. It's really fucked up. It's like she's just as good as everybody else. And she's still, she crushes them everything and then just imagine her complaining about shit. Yeah. Women never stop. Upper. Upper. You get it, Monique. No, she is. I remember, I remember like she was great in every little part and then she got that everyone doubt. And I was like, oh, this cast is insane. You're like her. You're like her. Meryl Streep is next. Wow. It's the A and B finals, man. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's like every great act. It should be like. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada. So what happened at the audition? I'm in a city where it's like, I lived off of SNL. Sure. It was the Eddie Murphy show for us. It was Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopo, of course. And it was just like, it was Eddie Murphy. Fuck, man. And I was like, I have a chance to do SNL. This is insane. So I'm fucking nervous as fuck. But then I go in and I murder and I made me more nervous. I was like, oh, fuck. I get off stage. My manager was like, we didn't know you're gonna do that well. Wow. Holy shit. And I didn't, and after that, I didn't get, because when I did the Johnny Carson, that shit went. Right. What the fuck? And it was a comic strip. Uh-huh. Comic strip. When comic strip was like pretty fucking good with-- It was really good. With Bob Wax. And with Rich Ritt Oh. Tinkin. Tinkin when he-- Yeah. And then when he lost his voice, I know when he had his voice. Damn. And Lucien was there. Lucien. Looking like Robert Goulet. Yeah. And yeah, I was like, damn. So they were like, well, we got to see what happens. I was like, I was like, I can't believe I got a standing ovation. And then nothing happened. That's crazy. Just see. No, they didn't give you a reason or anything. What do you say? There was no reason. No, I didn't get shit. I just didn't get anywhere. I was like, oh, I guess that's how it's-- so you think about it. You're just like, all right. Damn. And you see the people who made it. You're like, oh. I guess that's how it goes. Look at the dry. That's the industry back then. You had no control. You could kill and still get nothing. But then Darryl Hammond, who was on the show. Yeah. You know. [LAUGHTER] He's over. What are you doing here? Come on. What are you doing? Ah, fuck. [LAUGHTER] I don't know. I'm just going to use this. I go along with negativity. Yeah. Fuck outta here. No. [LAUGHTER] I'm trying to help Gary sell a ticket. [LAUGHTER] What's up, man? What's up, man? I'm just treating you like a dog. I was like, right there. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] So I've been a middle of my shit now, as I was saying. Yeah. I was like, uh, Darryl Hammond comes out to me a few years later with a selling. Because I-- Darryl only talked to me. And if you-- Darryl only talks to a lot of people. You know, Darryl is dressed in black. Yep. Good comedian, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking good comedian, man. I would just-- so many shows with him. The trench coat in the Yankees cap. That was like-- Oh, yeah. All black. He was like the original blade. That was the one. Yeah. Amazing Clinton, too. His Clinton, he just-- And his jokes were really good. Yeah. You know, and-- Well, he was dark. He was like a crackhead for a while. Oh, yeah, it's-- It was daughter having problems with-- It was a lot. But he would always talk to me. And he would go, he goes, hey, he can-- next to me at the bar, you know? He says, man, I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time, man. I know, like what? Like he goes, he goes, man, I remember your audition at the comic strip. I said, what? He's like, I was sitting right next to Lauren. And all the producers, I was sitting right there right next to him. I was watching. And you know, you leveled the place. No one could follow you. It was over. And he goes, it was a no-brainer. But I knew you weren't going to get it. I knew you weren't going to get it. And I say, well, why? He goes, well, he's saying, man, you would have been too strong for-- you would have been too strong for the show. And that's what he told me. You would have been too strong for the show. You saw what Eddie said. It's like your dick is too big. That's why I'm like-- I was like, I interesting. You're going to want to fuck with the problem. Every episode is not right. You take all the pussy. And that's not right. Basically, you'd get all the ass. All right. Well, just keep it real, you got free. Come on, this is a white man talking. We're tired of it. And we're feeling insufficient. Oh, damn it. Even if you were a unit, we still wouldn't believe you had a big-- but yeah, that was what he told me. He said, I just wanted to give you some closure, because I thought it was unfair. And then I said, oh, shit, well, that's cool. It's nice to have closure, but you're still like, damn. That fucking sucks. I just want to do well and take over a show. Yeah, that's great. Hey, give me a script. They were scared. It was going to be like, are you still born? You weren't going to like share it? I don't-- that's weird. He said, he's told me honest. He said, I'm being honest. I'm on the show. He said, I'm on the show. And I'm a straight white male blah, blah, blah. I'm telling you the truth. And I appreciated that. But then I did his podcast, right? Him and had a podcast for you. And he goes, I say, will you lie and goes, telling you the truth, man. I was like, just wanted to check, you know, but yeah. And then I did a table read with Colin Quinn. Colin calls me, right? He goes, yeah, I need you. You know, you're like, yeah. I need you a table read with me. You do all those voices, I need some characters. You know, yeah, I'll fuck that real funny, yeah. So it's called St Andrew's Bones, right? And he was supposed to be produced by Adam Sandler. And he wanted-- and I went to the SNL studios again. I never been there. So I'm doing this table read. It's me, Tracy Morgan, it's a bunch of other-- I don't even remember. Horatio Sans is a bunch of us doing a table read. And I played five characters. Jesus. I played a Dominican. Because it's a real New York movie. Like, it's all different races, going at each other. And so I did a Dominican. I did a Russian dude. Is it all this shit, right? Vita and I just wrote one. We're both Asian man. We're Dominican, Puerto Rican. We try to do everything. I just did what I wanted. I did what I wanted. I did what I wanted. I'm trans, I'm trans binary-- I have grades. I want God for you to drag them. You missed that part, Terry. You missed that part. And let's let them-- Let them marinate. Let them marinate. Let them marinate and wonder. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] I want to see this episode. God for you. I know what you guys were talking about. I reviewed it. My favorite God for you character is Eighty's Bully. Oh, yeah. He does Eighty's Bully very well. What do I do? What do I do? The one where I do the moves? After. Right to the moves? Yeah, I do the moves. Woo! [LAUGHTER] It's cover cast. I said the fucking for a contest, man. Let's get out of your dragon's mood. [LAUGHTER] That's unbelievable. Woo! Well, I want you to finish up what you're saying, because I have a question. I've got to ask you about something. OK. OK, here we go. Woo! [LAUGHTER] We're going to be like the slow down fire, slow down. Like this. I want him down, man. I want him down. Put him in a body bag. Fucking dead, bro. You're cruising for a cruise. Woo! They're going! They're going! They're going! I'm going to drop to hop you right there. I'm going to jump in a convertible. Yeah, whoo! Then we hit the side. Don't worry, Bonnie, I'm never put your losers, man. Yeah, they're picking up the books that he's knocked out. He's like this, I guess you're going to do homework, huh? Yeah. That's a whew. You're lucky, buddy. Watch out, slow down. Don't give him too much, buddy. That's what I was right. Nice, by the way, Gary Vida. - We didn't even intro 'em for the audio listeners. Gary Veeaters is the one. - Oh, yeah, sorry. - There you need some introduction. (laughing) - Feel like you need one. - You need one. - You need one. - You need one. - You need one. - You need one. - You need one point in pickleball. (laughing) - Not really a real sport, but you want it. (laughing) - So we have left this pickleball. (laughing) - The black guy played hockey. (laughing) - You know hockey was invented by black people. Was it? - No. - Come on. - Showed a color hockey league. - Got your traces. - What? - I love it. - Get out of here. - I do it. 1895. It's not even February yet. Come on. (laughing) - 1895 colored hockey league. - What? - We're 220 to years before the NHL. - We don't like to talk about this. (laughing) - We'll be editing that on. (laughing) - Man, 18 rivalry. - That show's not going over in the black. (laughing) We go that. (laughing) - Ain't that this weird? - 18, but you showed it. You showed it, we had to show the photos. Did you show the photos of the color hockey league, please? - Please. - Thank you. - In the Maritimes, thank you. - There it is, 1895. - Oh my lord. - Yeah, let's throw it, show it up there. - Look at the color was the puck. (laughing) - It was black still. - Okay, okay. - And that's the only thing left. (laughing) - Here we go. - Oh my lord. - Yeah, so that's 1895 in the Maritimes. - That's great. - It's Prince Edward Islands. - What? - That's Nova Scotia, yeah. - Holy shit. - Holy shit. - So they've created a slap shot to create, this is real, it's a book called Black Ice. He written by a white dude, so you'll read it. - Okay. - And it was on ESPN did a 30 by 30 on it. - I gotta watch this. - Yeah, so that's it. - So we were playing hockey before, and ever since then, we've been skating on thin ice. Listen guys, but it tastes to be, I'll be here all night. Hey, catch skills, whoa, whoa. I opened up for Freddie Roman. Hey, whoa, whoa, taste the soup. Hey, Jack and Mason, whoa, whoa. Freddie Roman, I did have to do, I did a, - Freddie's club. - No, I did have. - I don't care, I didn't use Freddie Roman. He's not really, I don't think he's still hot. - Is he? - I think he is. - I don't even know. - Freddie Roman. - Do you see him? - Yeah. - He's still hot. - Is he still hot? - Ah. - Oh, 20, 20, listen, he lived long, man. That dude was funny. - Really? - He was old school. - Old school, but he was like dirty meat, but he was funny. I had to do a cystic fibrosis thing with this guy. Remember, Jay Fiedler, Fiedler, the quarterback, Jack Jewish. He was, he was dolphins. We don't have a lot, we like to mention I know. - He was a fan of the hockey. - He was a fan of mine. So he came Boston comedy clubs, like, dude, I want you to, can you do a charity for me, man? It's gonna be like the Patriots will be there, but I was with Scott Stapp from Creed. And I'll be with you, Williams, the running back. It was like a bad list. Listen, listen, it was a golfing thing. I was just with Scott Stapp was out of Creed. This is not when I can't you take me higher? - No, when he was all slim and cool. ♪ To a place with blind man ♪ - Should he get mad or something? - Yeah, he got chunky. I think he's back. Oh, right now. But he was a little chunky. - Now he's asking if they could take him lower on the scale. - Yeah, I'm all right. - You got a stab eating. - Hey, what a crow, what a crow, what a crow. It's so, so he was there. And I go, that's Scott Stapp. And I was like, hey, Scott, it was just this golf thing. It was so weird. And then Ricky Williams running back. - I thought that was big J. - Big J, that's so good. That's a good one. - That early big J, though, that job. - Legion of Skanks, he's in a new group. But yeah, so it was, and so we had to do this comedy show and the cystic fibrosis. It was so bad. It was like all old Jewish people, given money. Jay Feevers, what is crewed in there? Some guys, McGinnis, all those guys, from the Patriots. They're like, you going up? I go, yeah, I don't know when. Oh, man, it was so uncomfortable. Refretty Roman gets up there. And they all know who Freddie Roman is. He's murderous. - Yeah, I don't know. - One Roman bit. - But he's doing this, so I go to the doctor. You know, that type of shit. - Yeah, yeah. - But it's funny, I ain't gonna lie. This is what's funny. - Yeah, I love it. - He goes, I couldn't fucking believe it. - Yeah, do it. He's destroyed like these. - Yeah, me. - Right, right. But kill it. And you're premium. You know, you're premium, the kicker from the Dolphins who fucked up. - Hmm. - He's the finger. - Oh. (laughing) - You're premium. Look up, you're premium. He's the kicker from the 70s with Larry Zonka and Mercury Morris and those guys when the Dolphins and the 70s is Don Shuler. - Hmm. - He's the Miss Kick. - You premium? - You premium. - I'd spell that as you premium stuff shit. He's think that's what we're trying to get from Russia right now, was you premium? - Yeah, right. He's the kicker. Who's the kicker famous guy? - Larry Zonka. - Here he is. - Gero, was that Greek? - You premium. - Oh, that should be Armenian. - Oh, look at that mug. - That's Armenian. Anytime you see AIN, means it's Armenian. - Kardashian. - Y-A-N. - Right, right. - You'll go see an, you know, like. - Yeah. - Oh, go see an. - That guy, they out there. - Then there's this, there's Eric. - But go see an. - But go see an. - Yeah. - Share is Armenian. - She's Armenian. - So AIN or YA, it means there are Armenian. - Got it. - Right, so that's your premium. So he was there, they were roasting him. So he's on this big ass chair. Wow, Freddie's doing comedy. Go, what the fuck is going on? And he's talking about this guy, blah, blah, blah. And they're laughing, boom. It was these strangers shit. And then wait, I don't get to go up yet. They gotta have people whose family members are suffering from cystic fibrosis. - Yeah. - So they're up there telling stories, people are crying. Are you ready for the next comedian? - It's me. - Oh boy. - I'm like, and Lauren Michaels is in the crowd. He's like, yeah, yeah. This is what you can do with my people. So he goes, J. Feet was like, yeah, you got it, you got it. I go, what the fuck? And everyone's like sad. So I'm going up doing my jokes. I don't even remember. But I'm eating my balls, man. I'm like, then I just go, wow. And I start dog and reprise. He's still sitting there. I don't notice, guys. So I just start shitting on him a little bit. And then it's kind of working. It's kind of working, right? And so then I go, yeah, this is an all Jewish little, this is an all Jewish event. I can see that. And he goes, but J. Feeler is, I didn't know he was Jewish. A Jewish quarterback, Jesus Christ. What is that like in the huddle? He murdered. (laughing) He murdered, I go, okay, this is what we're going to do. That's J. This is J. - There he is. - This is what we're going to do. - How does it go? Not well. (laughing) Yeah, he was like, okay, this is what we're going to do. You, you go this way. And then they go, you go this way. Just run. (laughing) - Place went crazy. - That's great. - And I was like, good night. - Wow. (laughing) - Damn. - I had no other. - You got out of it. - That's killer. - You pulled it out. You pulled a Hail Mary. - That was right. - Yeah. So, yeah. So where was that? - Wait, wait. I want to hear about the dog that Dr. Phil Trump. - Oh, wait, but first the, the, the table read. - Oh, sorry. - Quinn. - Table read, right? So this lady comes up to me, blonde lady comes up to me. She said, we're taking a break, right? She gets into water. Who are you, who are you, right? Who, what are you, I said, I'm Colin's friend. She was reading the table read. I didn't know who she was. It was Calvin Klein's daughter, Marcy Klein. - Ooh. - Who is, who ran SNL? - Yeah. - I was like, yeah, let's show her. - Marcy Warner was the combo. - Sorry. - Right, right. No, Marcy Warner, yeah. Yeah, her. So she comes up to me. I go, I'm just reading with Colin Quinn. Just read, helping him read out. She goes, I just saw you transition from accent to accent with just ease. What the, what's your name? - I was in transition records and serious accent from desk. (laughing) - So I got the, she said, I need your information. Da-da-da. I was like, oh, I didn't know who's, and Colin's like, dude, she never does that. That's, that's fucking great. That's amazing. I go, all right. So I went to, I went to my, I was William Morrison time. And I say, hey, I told them, he was like, Marcy, you get the fuck out of here. I go, nah, Marcy Clon, she's talking, I was doing a read, that's how she goes. That might be your end right there. Are you fucking kidding me? I go, yeah. Boom, nothing happened. I, he got them, nothing. It was all, just radio silence. - Yeah. - It's so amazing. Darryl was probably right. - This whole time. - Yeah. - I didn't, I was just going there for a table read. - Damn. - Did they never audition people twice ever? Like, they'll have to come. - Some people have thought, like, I mean, the real following year. - Like, listen to me as in your win three times. - Three times. - Three times. - I knew I worked with her in Montreal. She tried out three times. - Cause in the business, I always find that to be the craziest thing. Like, when they say, oh, I don't want this pilot. But it's like, you made it to like, so far in the line. - Yeah. - And then they say, no, it's like, how about a rewrite again? - Yeah. - If I made it to like second, if I made it to like callbacks, then you got, might have a reason to go, you know what? Let me, let me come back, but I didn't even get to that. - Yeah. - You understand? Didn't get to that. And then Jamie Masada calls me, you know, Jamie Masada. - Sure, I have a factory. - He goes, you know, I can do Jamie, right? He's a Persian, Persian. He goes, hey, buddy, listen. I have, I want, I have a good comedy. We have CSNL, common tool, left factory. I need you, buddy, to come audition. for a lot factory. You said no, you can do it. I know you can get it. I said Jamie, I'm not doing that. I'm not, they don't fuck with me. I don't. He goes, "When you're talking about fuck, you're talking to me. You're the best. You do so character, voice, everything. You have to calm, buddy. I fly you out no problem." I said, "No, I'm not doing it. I'm not fucking with doing it." He's like, "I'm just, you have to come." They gave it to Phinesse Mitchell, that you know. I wasn't going to audition. I already got, you know, it's already like beat a dead horse. I get it. I got the message. I'm like, "Yeah, so what if Phinesse can get it? Come on." You get it. You get it. You get it. But, hey, I'm just saying. I ain't saying nothing about anybody. I'm just saying Phinesse. No, but it is good for them guys. I got it, but I just, we're in fucking with me. It is what it is. Yeah. It's like a chick, man. You don't like him, huh? And you're better off. You couldn't barely get up at noon for serious. You can't go to SNL all morning, all night. You made your own thing. I made my own thing. Yeah, that's just to say, I made my own thing and it's paid off. I didn't know what was going to happen. I just said, "It's COVID and you know who I was listening to, Damon Dash." No, Damon Dash. Yeah, producer. I was watching him on his live on time. I was like, "What the fuck am I going to do during COVID?" And he was talking to his shit, you know, Dave Dash is like, "Yo, you know what I'm going to do?" He's like, "This is time where artists, you should be doing shit. You should be fucking creating, man." 'Cause nobody's doing anything. If you ain't an artist doing something on these fucking social media, you're fucking dumbass. And I said, "He's right." And I just took it and started doing sketches with like King Batch and all these big creators and shit, these social media creators. I just said, "Let me get out of my own way and just do it with these guys and fuck it and it worked. It worked. You got to get out of your own ego, man." Yeah, you got to get, if things aren't happening because I wasn't, we didn't get better. You didn't get better. No, I was like, "Don't get better, get better." So that's from WALO. WALO and I didn't take a break for two years either. No, I took no breaks. I was doing the virtual comedy with Ben Gleban, those guys doing nowhere comedy club.com. I was doing gigs in nursing homes and I had cover at the time, but I don't get a fuck. I was doing parking lots where they hung the horn. I didn't put the nowhere comedy club, the digital, I made money off that shit. You could, because you could book, the seating is unlimited because it's fucking okay, right? So it's horrible. Right, it's like, you have your little laptop, you hear people going, "Hah, ha, ha." I saw one guy put a gun in his mouth during one of my jokes and I was like, "Hah, ha, ha, ha." I didn't want with Jeffery Tube and it was crazy. So it was, yeah, so that worked. It worked the money. I was getting some money, you know, every couple weeks, you get a couple thousand dollars. You're going to work on a fucking laptop, though. It's like, "You want to work even when you're in your shorts on a fake mic, oh, you feel good." And you put a fucking dumb sheet to make it, it's just, it was embarrassing, but I was, "Hey, I was getting some money from that. I'm surviving." It was something. And then just, yeah, doing, so this is what, this is what it's come to. So it's, I'm glad I did it, you know, I'm saying. I had to do it. I mean, I've ever do this parking lot shows. Cars were a hawk as a laugh, and if you really killed, you got the wipers. Yeah, yeah. Because the car that had the radio station, it was like a driver, it connected the sound. Exactly. And it was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." If it didn't look like a, it sound like a traffic jam, you were bombing. Yeah. Just to be an end of a movie before you commit suicide. This is my fucking job now. Well, we created, we were doing rooftops, right? We used to do the rooftops. Are the truck with Michael Chee? Oh, I did that. Yeah, that was fun. I did that show in LA, too. We were, we were surprised, man, we did our thing, man. I did, I did, we are cockroaches. When I did fucking Las Vegas laugh factory, you talk about weird. Shit, I met Rich Little. Jesus, right. Rich Little was doing a show. We were doing COVID shows. This is very little. There was only 25, you could only do 25 people in the room. So there's 25 people, six feet away. 25 people, 800 cedar. Great idea. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a 325 people, six feet away, it was the weirdest shit, and Vegas was shut down. Yeah, it was the barely like so Vegas hasn't come really come back. No, it was some of it is online. It was desolate, bro. It was like, and I was doing Rich Little show was before mine. I go, are you fucking kidding me Rich Little? He goes, yeah, you want to go see I go, yeah, I go see him. He's 82. I go, and he's still doing Carson and like Reagan will, hey, I was like, he's doing old lines. Like you got SNL. And then I met him because I had to, you know, you got to go and change. Like, you know, whatever, you know, when you come in that person leaves and you get the green room, he took a picture of me. I never, I never grew up on Rich Little. I sure. And I met him. He, how many presidents has he? Oh, my God. Yeah, he was still, he was very nice. But he was still like, I talk, he was still like concerned about how he did. He's like, he's talking to his manager. That's great. We got to sharpen up the, we got to sharpen up the, the Reagan. I didn't really like the, he was still, I love it. I like it. And then she went to be Johnson Bay. He's like, yeah, my Abe Lincoln little. No matter, no matter how long, like you're doing comedy, if you take a little time off, or in that case pandemic is like, you're taking a, almost like a year, you're not really getting up. You just feel the need, like, how might, like you feel? It was really tripped out. So him though, somebody that old just coming, like doing it here and there, I could only feel like you're not doing well, no matter what, because you're totally like, you're yourself. Yeah. Right. If you have a regular, all his friends are gone. Yeah. Pretty much gone. Yeah. Let's see. Calls Dick Van Dyke. But if you're, if you're that old during COVID, doing standup, like, oh, this is like a health risk, maybe, right? Yeah. Maybe it's his suicide. Fuck it. He died on stage. No, he actually died. He got a mic drop for real, right? I just wanted to ask you about Zoolander. Oh, yeah. How did that happen? Like, was that around the SNL time? You nailed that role. I don't, yeah. That was during, that was during 9/11. So you know what's funny is, yeah. That's why I remember the time. I was like, the towers and Godfrey did a cameo. Well, COVID, I auditioned for the movie and I auditioned for Ben Stiller. I was, it was somewhere. Where are we? Ben Stiller was in the room and I was like, uh, he wanted me to play one of the models that was not the gas station. Oh, it's the models at the gas station, right? Yeah, there you are. There you are. There you are. Yeah. So I have to imitate his voice. Nail, can we play it? Or is it going to be a, no, I think it's dark. Wow. You know, you could have fucked his wife probably. So, so, yeah, I did the pause. I did the little face. That was in front. He just, he just do steel. Yeah. I improv that was like, oh, so, so. Willie's remedy. 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Does not include an Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns advertisers, LLC and SEC registered investment advisor, View Important Disclosures at acorns.com/WMBD. - Acorns. - So I went in and I was supposed to be the models that are at the gas station doing that goofy shit. So I came in as a model and I did some weird, 'cause I knew model dudes and shit. So I was doing some weird model dumb shit. I don't remember the scene. And then I left and he goes, "Oh, thanks a lot." Boom. And they were like, "Hey man, my age is still like you a lot." He wants you to come back. I was like, "Oh, cool." And so I go back like two days later. And I go, "Man, you were, man, I really liked what you did, man." You were so fucking funny on the model thing, but you were too funny. You're too funny to be a model. Models are not that funny. But I have something else for you. Can you imitate me like the Zoolander voice? I said, "Yeah." And he goes, "Yeah, I'll get him to give you that." So, 'cause I'm gonna change into a black dude. We're trying to break into balls modeling. So, he's an Indian guy. Owen Wilson turns it to the Indian man. And you turn, "So, can you do me?" I go, "Yeah, I can do you." And he starts talking and I did exactly what he did. And he goes, "Okay, I'll see you next week." So, and then I said, "Oh, but first, I have a friend named Judah Friedlander who's been in your movies." Like, "Meet the fuck." He's always in your movies. Do you have a part for him? - Whoa! - And that's how he got in. He plays Vince Bond. - You asked for Judah to be in? - Yeah, he's in there. - Yeah, he's a brother. - He's a brother. - A whole minor he's doing. - Yeah, that's right. - When it was Vince Bond. - Wow. - You think you're better than us? - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, I forgot about that. - So, I asked, I said, "Yeah." - I said, "Yeah, do you have a part for Judah?" - I like to do it that shit. - That's amazing. - I like it, it's great. - And Judah was great to meet the parents. - Yeah, yeah, he was great in that movie. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's also great. - We got mom. - He's also got much of a podium audience. - That's the American Splendor. - American Splendor. - Amazing movie. - Yeah, he's great in it. - He's great, and so I asked, "Yeah, do you have Judah?" He goes, "Oh, you know what, I never die." I said, "Yeah, I should see if you got a part for it." - Holy, yeah. - That's a huge check. - And Judah part, he goes, "Dude, thanks a lot, man." Yo, Ben Stiller just called me, man. We're gonna be, I'm gonna be in the movie with you, bro. - Damn, that's kidding. - So Judah, yeah, I did, 'cause I was always around, I was always around Judah a lot. - I did it in Joker. I was like, "Yeah, this is the guy Joaquin Phoenix. "You should look at him." (all laughing) - And you know, his brother's just like, - Look at how people like you know. - His brother's a therapist. - No, no, no. - Judah's brother, you see his brother looks just like him, but no beard. But he's a therapist. He's just like-- - I don't know how a therapist should of him. - Judah, where's the man? - Judah has a mask now on his face. - That's the man. - Judah got a man like Judah Scott. - Judah's so fucking funny, man. I love Judah so much. - He's a killer cow. - That black and white special is killer. - Right, when they put out. - Judah's amazing. - And how to beat up anybody, his brother. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just really goofy. He's just-- - A very original. - He's one of my favorites. And so, yeah, so after that, when the DVD came out, there's, you know, there's directors like commentary. - Yeah. - So Ben Stiller is talking about me and Judah saying that we were roommates. Hey, those guys are roommates, you know. I loved what they did. They're roommates. So we were like, "All right, we're roommates." But I'm glad he got in. That's the type of shit I do though, that's great. And I go, "Hey, you got any other parts for people?" - We were talking about how, 'cause apparently, they don't want callbacks and movies anymore. Like, that's the thing. - Yeah, not at all. - People can't pay attention. But Zoolander has a classic callback with Blue Steel. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, they're for attention now. They don't want, because people look on their phones. It's like, "Well, then you're just making a shit "of your movie." - How sad is it? - Like, that's why these no one's going to see these movies. - Right. - That's why these, these comedies are trash. - Right. - That's why people rather watch Golden Girls than a lot of this fuck shit that's on. - Yeah. - Because when I watch All In The Family, sometimes I'll watch Old. And I go, "God damn this was brilliant." - Yeah. - Carol O'Connor, the levels that he took bigotry too, - I know. - And you'd still like to love him. - That's just serious, serious fucking skills. - Yeah. - Like, and he, in his interview, I watch a lot of Old interviews. He goes, "You know, I'm not really, I'm not like that. "I'm not that guy. "But I'm glad people, "but I wanted people to make sure they separated me from that, "because I'm not that, I'm not a bigot like that." - Yeah. - I thank God. - He was like, "I'm actually that racist." - That's why he goes, "Jesus eat it to college. "You're coming again, man." - But Archie, you can't say that. - That's cool. - Oh, come on, eat it. - Yeah. - Just phenomenal. - It's a brilliant show. - That's one thing I think we've lost. Like, you know, people are like, "That crowds are so sensitive. "We need to bring that back." - We need to bring back the idea that you can say something and not mean it. - That's where people are lost. - We need to bring back racial shit. - Yes. - Done smartly, not hacky. 'Cause there's hacky racial shit. - Of course. - You ever see hacky, right? You go, "Can you, "even though it's like, "I know it's racist, "but can you do it better?" - Yeah. - Can you update your racist? - Yeah. - It's like cheap violence. - It's urn it, man. - It's urn it. Like if you're gonna do something racial, do it in a funny way. Like there's a Daniel Tosh joke that I love. I did a lot of shows with Daniel Tosh. - Love that. - Daniel Tosh, everybody. - No. - Talk to me though. Tosh doing the show, what happened with that? - Tosh is awesome. - It's awesome to crack. - What I like about him, he's family got, he just goes about his business. He always show me, like just, I always talk to him, you know? And he goes, "There's something about those guys "that don't talk to me. "Don't talk to me." - Yeah. - A tell, a tell would call me, and be like, he's like, "I got a line for you." (laughing) - I got a line for him. - I'm a black friend. - He would give me punch, like punch ups. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah, I tell him to do a lot of shit like that for me. - He's the man. - You know what I mean? But it's nice when you get respected by these certain people. I don't ask for it. I just, you know, but Tosh did a joke about black people, which is so great. He goes, he goes, "You know, I'm gonna tell you, "black people you guys are the most talented, "you fucking the best, you're smart, you're innovative." I mean, Jesus Christ, you guys are the trend setters. The slavery thing, I don't know how we got away with that. (laughing) - The slavery thing. - How do we pull that off? - How do we pull it? - Yeah, so good. But that's how you do it. - Right, right. - That's how you do it. Like when Louis C.K. does the end, that's how you do it. - Yeah, with the Louis Bitt about saying, "I'm not saying white people are the best, "but being white is clearly the best." - Yeah. - That's a great Louis Bitt. - How you do it, man? - Yes. - It's comedy. - There's still a turn. - There's a punch. - We poor do it. - There's an honesty to it and it's not cheap. - It's honesty and it's real. - Put the art in it, man. - Yes. - Put the art in it. - What do you feel about this then? - We also feel that he honed that joke. Like that didn't, maybe didn't come out perfect. - No, no, no. - And he had to figure it out and you respect that. - He figured it out because it's a tight fucking situation to be in. - Sure. - And I do racial-- - Now you don't get a chance to figure it out. - That's what I'm saying. - That's what we've lost that part. - I got racial shit that I want to do about white people, but I want to make it creative. - Yeah, I want to do it. - Okay, okay, we got that. But motherfuckers are here for comedy. It's not fair that I can't be Malcolm X. No, you got to be Dick Gregory or Carl or something. You know what I mean, craft the joke. - Yes. - You get it, white people. - That would be a funny character that the comic would do with no punchlines. - You're like this. - And white folks ain't shit. Good night. - Give it up for my man. - My harmony. - That would be funny. - And I'm just saying, I fuck a white girl over review. (laughing) - Peace. (laughing) - Give it up for my man. Yeah, my man, the one, the militant one. - Yeah. - You got all the audience to grow up. - Yeah, man, that's all I'm telling you, any comic, whether even if Nick DePolo is, there's racism, funny as fuck. - Yeah, funny. - Such great crafted jokes. I used to be an audience laughing. He goes, I love it when God frees in the audience. (laughing) Damn bossing. I would, 'cause I would talk to you. down to watch because he would get so angry, but he was still so funny. He's got one of my favorite jujokes of all time because I was in the class, but I was trying to buy a car. I called a guy up, I said, "Hey, what about your car?" The guy goes, "Come over." And he goes, "Alright, I'm going to negotiate with this guy. I'm going to really, you know, work him down." Guy ends his door. It's a acidic juke. He goes, "Oh, I didn't know I was dealing with a blackpill." That's funny. That's how you do it, you misdirect different words. That's how you fucking do it, man. No matter what your mentality is, you do intent. The intent is to make people laugh, right? Put the art there. Put the art on there. Oh man, you're so sensitive. No, you're not doing the joke right, bro. Yeah. You're not about sensitive. Do it, craft it, trick us. Nica that joke about checking into a hotel, there was a shit in his toilet and he called the phone desk, 'cause, you know, most hotels leave a mint on your pillow. You guys are really going the extra mile here. That's fucking brutal, man. He's a really great comedian, and I don't like when he gets. I hate when he goes so far. Yeah, when he goes so little, he goes a little far as well, guys. I go, dude, you were hired by Chris Rock. Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? And I was one of your favorite guys. We taught, it's like, I mentioned why. You try. Like, yeah. Well, 'cause you know, 'cause you know he has an NM, so when he goes lazy, you can do, when he just opens the set, like, Kamala Harris, you fucking, no, it's not the joke. It's not the joke, man. Anybody can do that. Yeah, anybody can do that. We know you have this. I'm with you. You're so quick, and I really, and I'm a fan of Nick Topolo, it's sad, 'cause I, you know, he's in Georgia. I know, I know. And he's just, I go. That's not gonna help, thanks. Yeah. And Nick, you don't, you look aerobic anyway. Yeah. You're kind of swarthy. Yeah, he's a guinea. You're living here. You're very olive. You're right. You're very olive-complexed. Stay out of the sun. You better have a parasol. Yeah. They're gonna speed you through all of my pants. Yeah. But it says, you know, I'm pleased. He's a beast. I like, I like Nick. But you want to let us get there. We'll get there. Let us get there. Because I think they hear buzzwords and stuff. And we all are responsible for that. Sure. We're comedians, and people of different races come and see me. So, how am I gonna do this clan joke? And, you know, how am I gonna do it properly? Right. You know, and I say, I say, well, I think the clan, you guys gotta get better uniforms, gee. Are you serious? Really? A sheet? Can we go couture? I was like, I wish KKK was like-- You need a gay guy. So, is the crowds have gotten there-- I mean, in Manhattan, they're younger. I mean-- Oh, yeah. We got older, I guess. But also, it's like they're a little younger, so they're-- They're experiencing comedy for the first time since-- Yeah. But here's the thing, no, too. Well, comedy is an older person's sport. Because when you ever do a college, and then there's a kid that's from the college who's gonna open up for you, and they don't relate, because they don't have enough experience. You have to have done that already. And then you bring it back. Because I'm a college grad. So I know about college. So when I do college shit, they go, fuck, yeah. Because I know it all right. It's a weird thing. Comedy is a thing where, to me, comedy is a thing where you have to know something first, then you come back and tell him, you know what I mean? Because people, your age, don't respect you. They're not respecting your authority. First of all, they're just like, you know, your friend's like, yeah, my friend, he's a friend, he's a starting to do comedy. And your friend's like, yeah, Brad! Woo! Yeah! Yeah. They're not like your 20, and then your friends are 20. There's no separation of authority, no respect of the craft. If you're like, you gotta figure something in a college, they're like, oh shit, this guy has something over. There's a respect. I'm telling you, it's like a dog, audiences are like dogs. They can smell, they can smell and it can dominate you. I remember watching. They can smell Louie back. Like this is pretty, maybe even pre-lucky Louie. Yeah, he was, what was first, lucky Louie? Lucky Louie. Yeah, lucky Louie. And then, you know, he's talking about his kids and stuff, and then you're just like, you didn't relate, but like, that's to me, it was the funniest thing ever. But even though I have kids. This is what I'm saying. Comedy is an art form of experience. Sure. And it doesn't matter how old you are. I see, you know, Tim Reed, not Tim Reed. Shit. Oh God, he did a biracial comedy duo in the '70s. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you. Oh God. Godreason and the other guy. Tom Dreson from Chicago. Yeah. And he was sitting on commercials in Chicago. Oh, wow. So Tom Dreson. And then, by racial, be careful, everybody. No, no, by racial. They were the first, they was Tim and Tom. They were the, they were the, they were the, they were the, they were the, they were the, they're the 70s. Oh, really? You know, that was Tim Reed from WKRP. Uh-huh. Tim Reed. And they were the first like, by racial, he told, I've sit, I sit with him all the time. He, because he's from Chicago. Uh-huh. And he raised money for his, I think his sister passed away from this disease. So he had this big, big, um, a benefit fund razor in Chicago. We knew him for that. Oh, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was on all his sitcoms. He's 87 years old now. Wow. Yeah, he came to my show in Virginia with his wife who played the second Aunt Viv on, oh, yeah. Yeah. So Tim Reed is great. He came and saw, watch my show. Uh-uh. And so Tom Dreson does comedy at the last time he's for Sinatra forever. That's right. And he's funny. He's, but his jokes are well written. It's still funny. Yeah. But he's, what? 80, maybe. Oh, yeah. But why are we still laughing because it's a, it's it comedy is a, is a, is an experience thing. You have to have a little more information than the people, you know, I mean, or as much information. That's all it's about. Because if you have information about being a teenager, you're going to fuck and make them laugh. Right. Because they go, because they're really like, yeah, because it happened to me already. Exactly. I did a college once. I was talking about a shitty job. I had it. They never had jobs. And shit. Then I had to be like, that guy's a virgin. And then they're like, ah, that was my, like, rip core. Right. Right. So that's, that's where I think it comes from. So you from Nebraska originally, right? I was born in Nebraska. We were just in Omaha. I was, I think I was. I think you did. Right. I was born in a blink in Nebraska. I pushed your black ass out. I can't get out of here. My parents left, but they Nigeria to Nebraska. Damn. That's a couple of. A father. How'd you end up there, though? My father was, my father was, uh, uh, uh, teacher, teacher school, Dana College, which was outside of Lincoln. My father was there at, and my father used to always tell me about Dana College. Dana College. I was like, universe in Nebraska. Corn hospital. Fuck you talking about. He's like, no, I went to a school, Dana College, blah, blah, blah. I said. And then one day I finally did Omaha funny bone, a funny bone in a great, great club. Right. And I never been in Nebraska. That's like three, four years ago. Wow. And I'm like, okay. And so I was like, oh shit. So I'm on stage having fun. And I go, you guys heard about Dana College, Dana College, I was like, oh shit, I thought it was bullshit. And it's like, no, it's kind of defunct and it turned into Midwestern university. And I don't think they use the campus anymore. There's my father. This is the late 60s, early 70s, dude. So I was like, uh, um, so I go, and this dude goes, hey man, I can take you to that place where your father went to school. I take you for one and go, I go, yeah. So he fucking takes me. It's like a good almost two hours. It's like field of dreams and buildings and they would come. And just to see my, oh, you got, oh, wow, Dana, fuck, that's where my dad went. And what's really fucking crazy, oh shit. There it is. And the fact that my father coming straight from Nigeria to this fucking bumble, fuck time, and imagine. Crazy. I wouldn't be here doing a podcast or stand-up comedy if my dad didn't do this shit. I really look at it going, it fucked me up. I go, my father came. He was, he had a job. He had a job in Omaha, you know, Washington dishes and shit to pay for his school. Like he was, he would tell me the story is like, I'd be so tired driving from Omaha and Lincoln, you know, and, you know, you know, he'd only like black family and his next door neighbors were from India. So they were like the immigrants. Oh shit. So, this is your sitcom, right? I wouldn't be here. It's my father. I call him. I didn't do a chorus. Right. It's the title. That's a good one. Sorry. And by the way, by, you writing it? No. And also my parents left from Civil War. They were trying to murder my parents tribe. So it was called Biafra Wars. Very famous. Even my, my, my old manager knew about the Biafra War. My old manager was one of the smartest men I ever met in my life. He was like, yeah, the Biafra War, he explained the whole thing, a little Jewish man explains the whole thing. I go damn. He goes the Ebo tribe, which I am, Ebo tribe, and Ebo's are also Jewish too, by the way, just to let you and West Africa. So they have Yamaha cousin, they go, you know, yeah, that's a lot of other people to fight the wars. So we are brothers, bro. So, so a lot of foreskins. So yeah, that's, they came from war, they were, you know, and my parents, they made it. And then Chicago, I didn't, I don't know anything about Nebraska. My brother's born in Chicago, me, my sister born in Nigeria. So it was one of those things. Very immigranty. Hell yeah. And I would not be here doing any of this shit if it weren't for them. Yeah. Damn. Why do you pick Nebraska? Just school because he had a scholarship. Oh, right. Like he had the scholarship, you know, teachers college. So my father was an educator in Chicago for 45 years. Wow. Yeah, my mother was an olby-guining nurse. Just she met, they met, uh, in Nigeria. Oh, wow. Yeah, man. Was she? Let's hear your life story. Talk that. Well, my dad. Black pamphled me. Then I became Tachala. I go ahead. Some of the people knocked out that. You can't. Okay. I'm going to some of the people knocked out that. I wish I could. Gary's dad was a con man. Yeah, it's interesting stuff. Yeah, it was a con man, yeah. Yeah, so we got a real comic. Yeah, no, he opened up Really? Yeah, you opened up this college called Dena College People are from the Lego tribe Wait, wait, was he really a con man? Everything he did was just a con so he had different businesses that we're all like fake businesses Or businesses that he could just like extort money from so one was like a pay phone business guy. I'd be a great Viewer world's greatest dad was the honor American number one dad greed. What was he ever an American greed? No never you know Stacy Keach right? Oh, yeah, the host looks on the American my dad stayed off my dad stayed off the radar But yeah, we did like I did scams with him as well Everybody Old old scam that we ran together where he said that I worked for sports luxury for kids really Yeah, I went to the garden for free for four years from Lemieux Gretz and you Gretz, L.A., L.A., L.A. Look at that pick with You met Michael Jordan. Yeah, which is Michael Jordan. He thought it was so straight for kids on the 1995 Richard here. Here. Hold on. He's got the gerbil of your ass Real close. Wait, that's my dad right? Where's your dad? So we didn't talk we didn't talk for 24 years in this Where's your dad? Oh, I thought that was you That's your father, huh? Yeah, we talked for 24 years didn't I have 20. You got to be Jordan. How are you not gonna talk to him? My dad my dad my dad. Oh, how did I talk to my dad? Yeah, what was it? My dad was just full of shit all the time We don't broke off, but you got to see yeah the classic bro. Yo broke all you don't like about broke all Yeah, you never pronounce his elves. Let's hear it. Oh well, you know, it's all broke all He's all the kind of gargling all right. Yeah, the speech impediment you are you are you you notice things is an impression We do it by Sam Elliott Play the same rules all the time one good thing about the Trump administration you get the impressions you get to it and guess what You know, they have a White House account, right? So they they've talked about locking the borders. So there's a scene in soul playing where I lock This are our door. It's a ghetto as airplay. So I have all these locks on the They used it as a meme on the white house And at the end I go this motherfucker is locked Holy hell We don't really are using the son of an immigrant. They're like they don't realize what you believe it. Can you believe it can you believe it? That's what I believe it. I love so playing I love a nice little pole Nice little strip pole for millennia That's what I meant it. I think I just where I met it. You're a young Kevin Harton that Method man Tom Arnold We had a bunch of motherfuckers on there. Moe meek. There you go. We had Lonnie Love We had oh wow D.O. H.U. G. Lee John Williams. Jesus. Oh, John. Well, there's actually a pack. It should be so playing too I think we should do another one just from John Williams. You see the man. He was awesome music to do his you know his son Is John Williams from junior does he can do it to you know is a comic no I know and doesn't look like him at all But he's also that's David Letterman's godson That's his he's called. Oh, is that me a doctor? Yeah, that's called. Oh, that's at 65 million. How still rising? What did Dr. Drey? Dr. Drey video. I did at his house Damn 65 million. Yeah, these guys are only at 6 million But That was a stretch 6 million doggie fresh you're on If it takes you a second to get it. It's a juju joke You gotta think about that first. Hey, it's a slow burn. I make sure who's around Yes, he oh, that's see that's comedy. Yeah, that's like a zucker joke This motherfucker Yeah, it's for the White House shit damn That's badass you gotta get residuals for that. I don't know. That's like a mama meme now that happened to Theo Vaughn apparently Deal, because didn't he do like get the fuck out to a guy you're getting deported and they used it. No. No. He tweeted at him Well, Ben he does it with bands too who use a band to come out in the band's like now fuck you. I don't I don't like you YMCA but how do you sue America like is it can you even like what are you even how do you even? I can't suit try the suit, but he has me. He did 50 cent too many men Wish death on me That song does go pretty hard it go he comes out They do wish death on me There is and I love 50 said I think he's great at the 50's like he had us up doing he's like that's my opener Fiddy's like yo it's business, you know I think he said he had to pay him to use it. Oh I think it's money for 50. I don't think it's like his philosophy. I think it's just Tax cert, uh, yeah, man. You know because yeah all this stuff. Emilia. Here's the oh, yeah, you go wrong when the deportate the ice video Well, they took it down. Well, that was nice. Oh, they took it down good all this stuff M&M soon Metta because it's like 200 million for using his uh his music and reels Oh, wow. Yeah, so but I mean, I don't know where it stands. Good. He's like Zuckerberg. No Touch my shit. I hate better That's like people dub our our comedy too. So all the time But no one gets a fuck about that. Yeah, I haven't had my he might you know might have a chance Spotify one Spotify happen though. It's like they got they ruined a lot of lives man No, everybody's dusting off their shoes to talk. They have to do live shit now Yeah, but then look what happened live shit live nation comes in the fucking non-tickets and like and now it's even crazier is when you buy tickets for something It'll say like it'll be like a $50 ticket and this is $90 up front So it used to be 50 bucks and and this fees came but now you're trying to sell tickets and they're like I'm not paying fucking nine dollars There's gonna be fees on time. Yeah, that they yell at you like we did it. Dude these are it's not it's oh my god I'm doing clubs again right now just to warm up for this special and it's so easy to sell tickets and clubs Because you're not dealing with all the bullshit. Oh good point. The theaters. You're just don't they jack up the fuck the price is too much I thought the theaters shit was cool. Man, fuck that house nut. I think what the fuck is a house nut? You got to pay a house fee Then you got to pay those fucking What is it uh the union mother? Oh, that was good. I didn't know there was so many fee I was like what in the fuck this you have to do two shows just to make a profit. Let me get to just a chuckle hut fuck you. Yeah, but even though you got to do a couple more shows, you get all the money man But I liked it. I like doing the reps too. I like I like the rep see the reps are so and people are so caught up in one and out I go you need to do you got to run it you need to run that hour man. Yeah, yeah run it a lot of times And I got endless energy though. You are fucking that's true. You're like legendary for that. I feel like that's I mean look at this guy he's tired just sitting here. I know I enjoy because you know why you all are guys very prolific You're always writing new shit. You guys are very prolific. I am always doing new shit. You got it I'm not I don't I'm not I'm not strangled by a fucking act I don't have like one act I do all the time because I just smashed myself in the head sure But I have so much shit that I'll mix it up even I'll pull an old one out. It depends on the crowd But I enjoy going. Oh, I got all this other shit. I can't wait to do it. Don't forget like two shows in the same night That you did something on that that show that your time but I'll but I try to kind of you know, I'll go okay I'll kind of make this thematic a little go. I'll talk about this Women and bad about do that. And this is another one. I'll do about the you know Technology and then it's sort of so I can kind of not go Can get it can get that way. Well, I do clubs all the time now and I go who's here. You know you go Who's who's just here and they go? We had got for here. He did five shows different hour every show and you go It's insane. It's insane. I yeah, I just and a staff enjoys it You're set for fifth time in a row, but the end of the weekend the mouth and his punchline The staff will tell me they go We're like we every time you come we always all the staff comes out and sees you and watches you because he goes Do the same thing? No, I have people repeating they come back and do it. No, they'll come back for another show go You did the totally different I go. I just for myself It was okay. It's not normal though. I had I had a Michael Jordan moment because I was like because I saw somebody Dad was hit by a car Fred there was a guy of one of these waiters and we were talking right you know how sometimes you know certain Waiters you go they go. Yo, you're back. Yeah, um, so he goes I saw I think I saw him watching He's watching a comic on I came on a day before before my show and he was watching a comic they had a one-nighter And he goes guy does say fucking shit all the time and he literally goes Mal thing he was literally. Oh, I was like I don't ever want a motherfucker to have the plat privilege of doing that to me Right, so I motivated myself to go all right. I'm gonna try to do something new all the goddamn. Yeah, I don't I want people to go Fuck I thought he's gonna do that. It was just my own to make me work harder. Yes I don't want the privilege of somebody saying you know, he does the same. It's unless like you're working your hour Special that's different sure even when I have to do that. I hate it. I wanted to go. I want to do something new, but I have to do Yeah, but I don't want to it's just my own way to be making new stuff. Yeah, my own little you know how Jordan would take Something personal. Oh, I don't like the way he stepped on my shoes, man. All right. I'm gonna score 50 Or he goes I don't like the way he shook my hand. All right, I'm gonna dunk on this bitch You know, I do my own little to get me to all the meat flips I'm gonna do a new bit and then I just push you out Yeah, you can't though. I mean you do it. There's only so much like you I mean And I feel like yeah, I can only do you gotta go in yeah, you gotta just for sure fucking take that shit learn That how long have you been doing coming two years now? You should have said too Scared of 18 years. I'm not I'm a kid. I'll say new bed. I'm a three. I don't know where he's going to Do I could do so tired of you? I Another thing about those theaters is a charge for merch We have to tour endlessly and I don't mind I like it, but then Taking a piece of every that's he sure But maybe if you're making so much money, we are not noticing the take But that shit annoys me. I was like people are doing theaters because of the prestige I get it, but fuck that you're at the whatever Pretty bold and you're making yo dough you just added a couple of shows Yeah, but you're making your money man, and you're getting the reps in you need those reps. You need them fuck that You need that you really need those reps man boxing and comedy or parallel. Oh, yeah, you got to hit the bag You got to you have or you will fuck up like you ever see when Tyson's your brain damage Yeah, you it's the truth little little the little things count The little things in comedy count. It's a little shit affects it. It's weird. Yeah, it's really It's one of those art forms that you can't skip steps. You can't why I think everybody if you're on a theater run You did want to if you can't like run it a little bit in a club before as much as pop A lot of these theater acts are like just starting like oh, here's the hour now. There's and then you see the You see it though. You see completely. It's hard to work on it. You cannot hide comedy will show your ass Man, if you fake it you can't fake it. They go I was okay Yeah, it's okay, right, but you see a guy like a tell do a 30s to go hot cross buns and you're fucking dying laughing No, cuz he's always on I know and he's got a bit about the ice shooting. He's got a bit about Maduro He's got a bit about that like how does he have all his notion because he's with me at one. Yeah the morning He's always there on stage. Yeah, and you don't it doesn't miss you. He's doing the what you have to it's it's unfortunate Yeah, comedy doesn't let you hide. No, he said that might we'll be right back It's the funny lever Yeah, all those nuance has happened of course on the stage. You gotta it doesn't come with I'm just gonna do it You can't comedy will always knock you to fuck back down when you got to do a new hour Look how you gotta go and work it again. You have to respect you have you can't just go. I got a new hour Let me just go nope. You're like. Yeah, let me go To go small. Yeah, then go big. Yeah, it's like fighters when they go to have when they're in in Vegas They do the big fights, but guess where they got to go. They got a show up at wildcard gym You know wildcard wildcard is um is Freddie roaches. Freddie roaches trained Pocky out and all those way better than Freddie Roman's jam, but I would go there with Adam hunter. Oh I don't I don't you know Adam's MMA and shit. Yeah, a lot of hunters. Oh Adam and kick my fuck his asses Adam beat up one of these commas I'm not gonna say his name, but Adam fucked a comic up Real nice. It was Josh blue The comic that kind of like was accusing Adam of stealing Adam is so his own kind of comic You know still he has these one liners he doesn't steal anybody shit and dude like literally Sock them at the ha ha club in LA like punched him like Adam had his a laptop with him and a guy clocked him What like snuck snuck him one gee and Adam like just put him in a fucking Trujit to Say yeah, I just finished fucking up blah blah. Yeah, what happened? He said so I might put him out. He almost choked him out Choked him out beat the shit out. I murdered him. I got to stay with him. He goes. I didn't know he couldn't fight I didn't know he didn't because Adam's always trained and he was he was a all-state wrestler and mass chewsits He's a boy from freestyle wrestling about and Adam is like don't Jewish boy, but he gets down to bed He didn't host the Oscars. How great with that? It will Smith Not so fresh now Hancock sucked Get your hand out of my mouth Yeah, man, so Fuck was that talking about but anyway, I don't do Adam on to you have a boxing. Oh box. Yeah, when you go to see what I would go to Wild card you you see Matthew McConaughey doing box. Oh, yeah You see a lot of people but it was a it's a small little humble gym over a laundromat But all the greatest boxers come and work. I would watch pockie. I'm like damn Really nice. Their math time is our stage time Never show as out of shape as we do with a new hour. What is it? They never show up as out of shape for fighting as we do with a new hour Right, right, right. No, but when you it's like I love to do the lounge Yeah, that lounge comedy is an intimate Art form and really it we do the big shit so we the revenue wise, but we like that small shit We like it. Oh, love it. Love it. Love it. Revenue wise. Fuck no. Let me go do let me go do Mars I'm gonna be mom be right. Let me go do this stadium. It sucks doing those. It's so it's it's just for the revenue Sure, but as far as the art it suffers it does I wish I mean if you could do it you do it But it suffers though. Yeah, I agree doing a small. It's the greatest. It's like jazz players don't want to do big-ass Fucking, you know festivals. They want to play in a small. Yeah money-wise sure I mean, it was yeah, but I don't want to take out the integrity of the art you have to go small and when you're stare When you're you can kill in the theater because there's so many people like But then when you stare at people at a funny bone and they're four feet away You're like this isn't hitting because in a theater you get that big pop So you feel like you're killing when you got those people right on your toes You're like, I'm got a bomb here. Yeah, and arena. It's like I mean like not to this is like first world problems But if you do a few they're all the same really it's right you're all kind of like the nuts. Yeah, no, you play I play small I because when you do one-off clubs you play like you're in a club except you you're aware that there's more people But you don't really worry about that you still worry about like here. Yeah, you play small still kind of Totally because you already know it's rafters. All right fuck them If it hits it hits. Yeah, whoa. That's that's the psychology I wouldn't when's your new special coming out. Oh, oh What it's January 14th in theaters nationwide shut up. I'm not lying theaters. You're doing the price shit It's called it's called rebel with the cause mmm, and we my producer got it in theaters. What listen? It's AMC Alamo draft house synopolis in a mark and movie grill and We've sold a really good amount of time surprise. I think I was 50 I might 40 something thousand holy moly. I never did this before because I didn't get approached by Netflix So I Crazy, yeah, well, you know they'll come eventually, which is funny is I know the people there Hey, that's weird, but it's rebel with the cause and It's in AMC, and we're doing a tonight. We're doing a private little screening red carpet thing. We're doing You know at the AMC on 42nd Street, and yeah, man, and Yes, I filmed it at the Apollo at the Apollo Raise the money myself wow the help of Will I am from the back IP? Oh, yeah, and I had another do some capital ventures guy It was just a fan and he gave me money for it, too You know what I mean? Yeah, that's awesome, which was damn which was which was fantastic and yeah, and and go find me Won't you raise money, man? Fuck that man. I can't wait man. We could send you money and then Dante set it up and I've had money from there money from there. Well, I am just goes dude. I want to give you some money Oh, this is gonna blow you up. I can tell I can feel it and I'm gonna go to the theater just to get you back. I'm gonna talk There's a seven o'clock Crazy man dude that's kind of story of my not and it's not no poor me story my Adventurely gonna end up on YouTube or something, but right now because 800 prong grill is like we want to we're not even doing that It's just theater release I was like what because here's the thing the fact that the theaters aren't really With you to be right. So guess what? They need content man. Oh, I go what theaters he goes yeah, it's not as hard as you think because they're like really struggling for good content. Yeah. So yeah, I was able to read and they even increased it was 200 now. It's 400 something. Wow. So yeah, we got it for this day and if it does well, we'll just keep it. Keep it going to flow it. But from there, we're going to we're going to strategize. So we're doing it differently. It's just like Ali Sadiq at his YouTube. He's doing it. I'm very. I mean, what are he? She fears you? What? Oh, yeah. And in the numbers. I see you and millions together and it's not a bad thing. You know, the numbers on YouTube are killing all the other network. Oh, 100%. Like the stats are there. It's just that it's the labeling. Yeah, but a lot of times people's specials are just floating. Now let's say after this goes theaters, it does well. Let's say Netflix goes. We keep hearing about the special. We'd like it. Okay. But the number is low. Would you go with it or would you go fuck you? I want a lot of money. Yeah, I'd be like, can I get this depending? Okay, man. Let me get. Yeah. Fuck you. You ignored me anyway. Right. Give me some good points. If because I heard they're not really giving out a lot. No, they're not. So, uh, a man, my, my, uh, I don't know what you guys is following. Are my following is pretty good. I mean, I'm doing. Two and a half mill. Whoa. Oh, damn it. I mean, you're killing them and you built it yourself. I built it myself. And they cut my other account. They shut my. Oh, really? Why? I had to rebuild it. Dan, just for being offensive. Or what is offensive now? I don't know. They, they, they keep that stuff. Yeah, I had weird, like, I was like, what that was? And if I could have said, you fucking piece of it, it was weird stuff. Like, I was like, what? And then you try to appeal it. They don't answer. Yes. That's what scary is that. Yeah. You're, you know, say you don't go the Netflix route is that you could just get shut down somehow. And that's how you're like, it's scary. Obviously, everything, you know, it's the one thing. The other one, the Netflix has other than like the prestigious is that you can just say whatever. Yeah. That's one thing. So, but if you're not getting that, yeah, you go, I'm going to we do it our own way. You know, and, and Shaq, I had people give me like shout-outs and Shaq gave me shout-out. ASAP Rocky is a big fan of mine. What the fuck? ASAP? You got, you can go to my Instagram and watch my ASAP. I didn't show you any of this. No, I know. You haven't been in a minute. Yeah. I was just, okay, that's, that's, okay, that's ASAP. Watch. It's our day now. Damn, there's a lot of comments. We're at, we're at swingers in LA. Oh, okay. It's three in the morning. Whoa. Nah, that's good. And then I, so I hang, I hung out with him the next day. Yeah. He's recording this new record with Winona Ryder. What? He has a video he did with Winona Ryder. I was watching it with him, and it's the place he rented out. And you know, my buddy, Jeff McGuire, is their bodyguard. I trained with him in martial arts for 10 years. So, he's bodyguards, them for the past years. He lived with them some time. Yeah. And I told, and I told ASAP, I go, you know, Jeff McGuire, my buddy, he goes, get the fuck out, I go, yeah, I'm training with him in New York. Wow. He, he, he, he, he, he, guard know everybody. You really, you're the next mayor, dude. Why just happen to this? Do life, and it just goes, oh, I know that person. I know that person. Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible. I'm doing a little dumb, little three more days. You got to do it. What, what some tour dates, too? Where are you coming up, man? Well, I got got free live.com brand new website. There we go. Brand new website is very nice. I'm very proud of it. Wow. Yeah. It's just simple, but it's, it's streamlined. Yeah. Pittsburgh improv, the general. Pittsburgh improv. This is 16th to the 18th. Yeah. What else do I, I don't know when this is showing? Oh, yeah. 18th. This is showing the 18th. What's my next date? 20 Tulsa. Where am I Tulsa? And then Buffalo. Wait, Tulsa. What, it's, what's the comedy club call? Bricktown. Bricktown comedy club in Tulsa. Great piece in Tulsa. Yeah. And it's the what, the 20th to the 22nd. The 20, oh, 22nd to the 24th is Bricktown comedy club in Tulsa. So you got healing in Indianapolis, the following William and Indianapolis, the following week and Buffalo. Buffalo. Yeah, you know. Yeah. I like that Buffalo here. No, listen, Mark Grossman has great franchise. And even a, even the Bricktown, and you're talking about Spokane. Yep. Tacoma comedy. That's a good franchise. Liberty lives a good franchise. Yeah, improvs. I like, I like those clubs. They're fucking good. Yeah. And you make money and it's good crowds. And there's built for fucking comedy. Yeah. And I do, I do the Wilbur. I do Wilbur. Wilbur is nice. And Boston. And that's awesome. I take the special there. I love Wilbur. Yeah. Fantastic. That kind of club. My third time doing Wilbur in December. Wow. Yeah, man. It's fantastic. December. They come out. And it's great. Damn. And my dad house nut pisses me off. I know. God. Damn. We should have showed Gary's first. Yeah. I know. Well, I'm going to Cleveland. No, that's a great. The 23rd great club. And then Zene's. Oh, yeah, in Tarrytown. Tarrytown Chicago. Tarrytown. I got a little door deal there. So let's blow some people there. Is it a little door deal? There goes the joggy door. Yeah, Gary's with me on some of these dates. We got. So yeah, I mean, what do we have? Yeah, well, you're not with me for this one. Unfortunately, Rose, Monk, maybe in Chicago with them. Zane, these things. That's all sold out. That's a weekend. Yeah, I think that's all gone. But then we got Stanford Connecticut, the 12th through the 14th and February. And then we got a Providence. I think these are all sold out. So probably add a couple, maybe in Providence, February 20, whatever that was, whatever that weekend was 20, the 19th of the 21st and Providence Comedy Connection. We just added a third show from my taping. Tampa Theater, baby, 27th February. Now it's only available February 26th. Can we do a Cosby voice for the pitch for for Tampa theaters? But I got to come through the Tampa Theater Seam, Sam, Marielle, and it's going to be a thrill. Oh boy. And all you ladies are going to be abused. And today, he's got to get offended by the pudding. And I'm going to sleep. I'm going to drink some. I'm going to drink some dates because we haven't even addressed this yet. But I guess I have not had a threesome yet. I'm sorry guys. We have not had a lot of inquiries yet. You're trying to get a threesome. Yeah. They're making fun of me if I'm not having had one. So look, I've gotten a couple. One of the women reaching and wanted to be her me and Mark. That's not going to happen. Yeah. I'm down. Yeah. All right. Let's do it. Oh, yeah. Never mind. We got it guys. Very bad. So yeah, we'll see. We'll see what happens with the threesome. Just send me the girls for the for the ego. You don't threesome. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Twice. Twice. Like two. That's what it but not like. Yeah. I have a buddies that do it like all that. Yeah. Nothing I'm dying to do but they're just shaming. They're a free with that shit. Don't too. Of course. Of course. Of course. They got to agree with a one sum. It's true. The one sum is hard enough. I'm in a bend organ. All over organ. New Brunswick and the stress factory. All right. San Antonio. LOL. Tulsa. I'm following you. So also this go. Yeah. Arizona. Indianapolis Buffalo. I'm on your tour here. Oh, that's why you know you did like fire. Yeah. Exactly. Portland, Maine, province, Rhode Island, Kentucky, Lexington and Fort Lauderdale, Raleigh. I'm all over the road trying to avoid my child. Come on out. How old is your child? 11 months. That's insane. It's crazy. Buy some of Odega Cat whiskey guys. Boy. Odega Cat whiskey dot com. Eight off. Message us at Instagram @Bodega Cat whiskey message. If you want to sit your bar whiskey's good. We're getting all all these clubs, theaters, restaurants. We love you. You make it some good money. No, no, we're burning a whole account. We're dying. But it's fun. It's the goal. That's the plan. Oh, yeah. That's the goal. I like that. I'm fucking hammered. I'm hammered. You really are. I'm fucking around. You really are. I am trash. I'm fat-faced. We're the new brother. Yeah. The boys are. That's funny. Yeah. We love you guys. We'll see you next week. Peace, peace. Comedy. Up on the roof, what your cops coming and they could send you well as feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember. And I get down in the same way. We might be true. (upbeat music)