Ep 267 - Desire vs. Fear: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

The only thing that you get to focus on is how you make decisions and making decisions from a place of desire versus paradigm. The desire side of things is the side of faith and opportunity and the paradigm is the side of fear and lack and scarcity. And so by choosing to live a life from your desires in faith, when you make your decision, you get to change your behavior, your results and your reality. You get to say yes to the new you long enough for your old you to die. What is going on? That's the foundation. This is your host. I'm Bradley from another mother. I'm a lot of money. I am here all by myself today as I'm traveling to Boston in a couple hours and we couldn't get the times to work with with trials. And I'm so excited guys to be heading up to Boston to Salem to the to the new office. And it's so wild to me to get to experience the office and get to experience what secrets has become. And as I was thinking about what to share with you guys this week, I thought I would share with you part of what I'm going to talk about at the event on Saturday. Because he also ties into what I just talked about, which is the fact of secrets and everything that has happened was at a certain point in time, a desire that Mike had to help serve and support people in becoming financially free. And so how do desires come about right? That's kind of the beginning of the topic and how I want to talk about it. So it is my truth that the way a desire works is you get an idea, an idea becomes a want. Once you actually sure what it is that you want, you make it a goal. So all a goal is the one that you actually want. The point of a goal is to help you grow in your awareness of what is possible for you. So a lot of us look at goals and are like, the point of a goal is to is to get something. Yes, no, right. What I think now and what I believe now, the point of a goal is to help me understand and gain awareness as to what I think it's possible for me to do. And what I believe the gift of the goal actually is is the person that I get to become along the way. Right. So understanding that the prize is really the progress and not the outcome from there. Once a goal becomes unknown, negotiable, it becomes a desire and then this desire goes to a burning obsession. And when something becomes a burning obsession, I guarantee you anytime that has happened to you in your life about whatever it is, you have it, right. You manifest in your life, you create it, you bring it to pass. So part number one of things number one, I want to talk to you about is, okay, desires. So we get to establish what it is that we want the problem or the opportunity, as you say, is that desires oftentimes clash with your reality. What do I mean by that? There is part of you that says, I want this. I want to create this by you doubt yourself. And that's why you go back to ideas. Right. So if you go through the scale, what I just talked about ideas, become want, want to become goals, goals, become desires. Your self image, oftentimes, will say to you, once the idea comes down, comes down in the pipe, right, comes down in the universe, comes through God, you hear the voice, whatever works for you. Like, whatever language suits you best in this moment. Once that happens, the idea comes through, you're like, I would like, I would like that. I would like to create that. And then you hear the little voice, right, this is, you can't do that. Right. And what, what is that little voice? Well, that's your paradigm. It's the way that you've always done things. The way things have always been for you up until now is the voice that you hear. So what does a paradigm do? A paradigm then influences your decision making in what way it influences your decision making to keep them the same way they've always been. So if you're not driving, you're going to write down a piece of paper, desire versus paradigm and understanding that a desire comes from an idea that became a one that became a goal and then transmit the self into a desire. What the desire fights against is your paradigm, which is the way things have always been up until now, which includes your current reality, your current environment, your current story about yourself and everything else in between. This also includes your current way of making decisions. I think I have some pretty smart listeners. And so there's my assumption that you know that as long as you continue to make decisions, the way you've always made them, you're going to continue to get what did you say allowed what I've always gotten because that's the correct answer, right. So that leads me to part two of the of the three days, right. So desire was part one, decisions part two, let's get real here for a second, your decisions create your life. There is a bunch of things that you know you could be doing right now that you're choosing not to do that would unlock your desires and you're not doing them because of a story, a fear, a perspective that is part of your paradigm. So the way things have always been up until now, that's why a lot of the times I like to ask people what is the ROI of an idea, but the ROI of an idea is zero until one you choose to do something about it and you are willing to do what it needed to bring it to pass. So are you willing to sacrifice yourself to the desire that you have? Are you willing to be used by these ideas that you are getting? They're going to lead you to a new life and a new result. So a lot of the times something happens, we get an idea, it becomes a want, it becomes a goal, it becomes a desire. And then what we get to do is we get to become discipline in our decision making discipline is the 30 and you get to become disciplined to your decision making to the point that you discipline the way that you make a decision based on your desires and now your paradigm. So based on your desires and not how things have always been, if the moment comes that you have a decision to make and you default to how you've always made a decision, you and I both know because you said it out loud a second ago. Then you're going to continue to create and to bring to pass the same thing. So if you wrote down as I said earlier, desire versus paradigm on a piece of paper, underneath it, you're going to write two errors that lead to the word decision. And then under that, you're going to write one more error that leads to the word results, behaviors and reality. And so it's with the understanding that as long as nothing changes. So as long as your decision making remains the same, it doesn't matter the ideas that you got because the ROI on that is going to be zero until you discipline yourself to make decisions about opportunity, moments, facts, events in a different way that is based on and the only thing that you ask yourself is, do I, does this decision making this decision right now? You're going yes or no? Does it bring me closer to my desire outcome? Yes or no? And if the answer is no, if the answer is a paradigm based answer, answer based on how things have always been, then you know in order to change that part at the bottom, right, reality, behavior, all you get to do is the only thing that you get to focus on is just make a decision in a different way. So if the moment comes when let's say you have to call somebody and you call calling somebody and in the past, you'll do one call. If that call didn't go well, you kind of call the quits for the rest of the day. That call was so difficult. That guy was so rude. That lady was so mean to me and so on and so forth. What you guaranteeing yourself is that by making that choice, the way you've always made them, you're going to continue to create the same reality, you have the same behaviors and have the same results that you've always set up. So this is a very philosophical, but very real way that you guys can look at your life and understanding and looking at the one thing that you get to do different to influence your reality, your behavior, and your result. Because the only thing that you get to focus on is how you make decisions and making decisions from a place of desire versus paradigm. What I like to think about it in a even further way is the understanding that the desire side of things is the side of faith and opportunity. And the paradigm is the desire of is the side of fear and lack and scarcity. And so it's a very simple kind of hack that you get to use any time you need it. When you face with a decision, asking yourself, okay, cool, I know this is the decision that I have. Am I making it the way I've always made it or am I willing to be uncomfortable and to make this decision based on my desire, so my future self versus now. That leads me to the next thing that I want to talk to you guys about. Which is something that I've been pondering a lot over the last couple of weeks, which is the concept of courage. I have realized now 15 years into entrepreneurship that does that. Having courage, it's kind of the keystone to everything else. And you're like, yes, obviously, right, but entertain me here for a second. So what I realized for myself is that it's not a question, am I courageous or not? So it's not that easy binary conversation. Because what I know, if I ask myself that question, is I can find evidence to support the fact that I am courageous or that I have been courageous up until now. Which then brings on two awarenesses with it. Our order's number one is that courage is like winning in order for us to keep being courageous. We have to keep choosing to have courage when opportunity is given, which is the same way for you to continue to be a winner. And now somebody that had one used to win is you get to keep on winning. So Michael Jordan, it's won a bunch of championship, but he's not he's used to be a winner of things is not a winner now from that perspective, right? Some of you are saying like, haven't you will always be a winner? Yes, I get it. From there is the understanding that, okay, how courageous am I being right now? Am I being courageous every day or am I living with courage only some days? Am I being courageous in my business, but not in my home life? Am I being courageous in the way that I talk to clients, but not in the way that I talk to my business partner or my life partner? Am I being courageous with how I talk to myself? And how courageous am I actually being? Because again, in order for you to change your decision making to your desires versus your paradigm, it's going to take courage and it's going to take courage for an extended period of time. Because if not, your habitual way of making decisions will sneak back up on you the moment you get weak. What do I mean by the moment you get weak? There's an amazing book called Power vs. Force, and the way that I've understood this book is that power comes from identity. So when your discipline gets to become identity based versus having to force it. I'm going to be disciplined today, right? Like that having to force discipline only goes so far. Because the moment your feelings are not great or you're not feeling great or you're having a tough moment, chances are you are going to default back to your worst habits, right? And so it's understanding, okay, if I am identity based in my decision making and I am disciplined from a place of identity, meaning that the thing that I'm choosing to bring to light, it's stronger than my feelings because I tied into a deeper sense of knowing that I know based on the fact that I know how decisions work. And I know that as long as I keep making decisions from desires over and over, I'll change my results, my behaviors and my reality. Then making decisions from a place of discipline to your future self becomes easy versus having to force yourself constantly to do something that it flashes with your identity. You're tracking, you're tracking what I'm saying? I hope you are. So what do I want to leave you guys with? One, it's that little drawing, right? It's that little graph that I would love for you guys to have on your desk, wherever you make decisions on a day to day basis. This says desire versus paradigm on top of desire, right? Love and faith on top of paradigm, fear and past. And from there, right to have two errors, a point to decision and under that one error that goes to reality, behavior and results. And any time in this next week until the end of the year, right, that you have a choice to make a decision about your business, about your life, anything else that you got going on. You get to ask yourself, okay, have I made decisions up until now? And how does the new me that is identity driven and knows what he or she wants to create and super clear that there's not just a want is a goal. And it's not just a goal. It's something that like I have a burning obsession, a commitment to it, become a desire every day. It's a desire in my life. How does that person make this decision right now? And watch how your results, your behaviors and your identity are going to change. And in this moment, if you choose, kind of like that, mission impossible thing. And as you guys remember, if you choose to accept this mission, understand, cultivate courage from the beginning. Courage, it's now in how you do some things and how you do everything. One of my mentors always used to tell us the way you do anything is how you do everything. And that kind of clicked on me, like, clicked in my mind at the time, but it didn't click to the degree they clicked now as I've been pondering the concept of having courage. Because what I realize is that as I embrace courage in all the arenas, all the buckets of my life, that grows across the board. So the question for you is like, how can you be courageous for the rest of this year? And are you going to be willing to continue to be courageous as things may get uncomfortable? Things are definitely going to get uncomfortable. It's the other thing that I want to leave you with. The moment you start making decisions from desires instead of paradigm, your entire environment, that is a perfect reflection of your decision making based on your paradigm. So based on your stories up until now, it's going to start freaking out on you, right? So people are going to be like, you've changed. I invited you to things and used to come to things and used to do things with us all the time. And now what you're too good for us in that moment, you get to hold on to the fact that you've made a decision based on the things that you are choosing to bring to light. Because for me, the worst thing is to have a bunch of ideas come to me. There are all things that I would have loved to create and to not do it based on the fact that I'm not able to say yes to the new me long enough for the old me to die. And say that again, that's a quote from ET Eric Thomas, but saying you get to say yes to the new you long enough for your old you to die. And so for the rest of the year, courage to pursue the things, courage to do the things even if they're hard. And the understanding that as you show yourself courage and you build on this decision making and you build on your discipline, it's going to become easier. So right now, it is undoubtedly the hardest is ever going to be and that's okay. And then from there, it's like, okay, I'm going to have courage to do the things that I know I can do today to grow. Because growth is that continuous growth and involvement of who you are now. And you cannot experience next week, next month, next year's growth. If you don't choose to go through this moment right now and experience the growth that is in front of you now. And then anytime you have the opportunity to make a decision allowing yourself to sit down and have a conscious conversation with yourself. Here, your paradigm, wanting to make a decision and the moment you start pushing against it, hearing all the fear stuff that's going to ultimately come out of your own mouth and understanding that it takes just as much strength and willingness for you to believe in faith that it does to believe in fear. And so for the next two months, allow yourself to choose you, allow yourself to choose to make decisions from your desires and not the way things have been and have courage along the way and understand that the more you rely on courage, the stronger your courage is going to get and understand that that's never going away right like I get to tap in the new levels of courage in myself as I push outside of my paradigm towards new desires. But once you embrace that this is just what's going to happen always as you progress through life, then you're not as worried because you understand it that is normal be that was expected and see you'll have a stack of evidence from how you have grown in the past through this process. You'll know that anything that happens right now, it's only temporary and as long as you tap into courage in making your decisions and discipline yourself from that perspective, life will change and will continue to change in progress for you so you can create whatever you want. So sure episode I do hope you enjoyed it, I am again super excited I do hope to see a bunch of you guys at the event and I will be back next week we have some new updates coming for you that I'm super excited about that will share on next week episodes and with having said that I hope you guys have a great day.