Ep. 264 - The Mind of a Chatter

yeah just chewing okay you can finish up whenever wash it down wash it down now wow keep going now don't spit up look at the technique he lets the water he lets the air bubbles slowly filter out the bubbles is too nice of a sound to like when i get the bubbles going i'm like i don't really want to chug it i like how the bubbles feel and sound now this is a pre-crack without a first sip this is interesting there's a lot happening right now zipper just said that's crazy pre-crack without the first sip and now we're opening the protein shake right into the premier protein that's going to be about 30 grams the cap is flicked into oblivion that will stay there for the rest of time huge chug oh my god he's going for all of it the neck on the boy he's going for all of it he doesn't want to savor this protein shake he wants to get it done this is for use this is for function i need my strength and the premier protein shake has been killed what's the status of the bar finished we finished the protein bar and then they were gonna top it off with a red bull this is ludwig this is ludwig is this a typical breakfast for you in a shorter time span but yeah so you you expedited the process because we're doing the podcast that you love to do yeah so i i had i had to crush all that but i would do that over the course of like seven minutes phone propped up watching cum tism no no no oh seven minutes no no phone propped up no you think seven minutes is a fast amount of time to drink those drinks it's it's too fast for me to prop of the phone and throw up a video seven minutes is like a hell of a long time are we not yeah seven minutes you watch a seven minute if i took seven minutes to drink a water in front of you it would feel like an eternity but if you were to time how long it takes for you to pick out the video prop of the phone and watch it it's gonna be way more than seven like a cum tism video is gonna be way more than well cum tism you finish that later because it's it's it's everything food it's every meal we need to discuss your youtube goons i don't i don't miss to choose a video yeah what is that are you scrolling your algorithm i'm just saying i don't i don't start a video and then finish it later so i'm not willing to put in five minutes what i started to a video that i like because i know i'll never finish it really you don't go back to videos and if it's not on the home page it's gone no it stays as you're continue watching continue watching i don't get that a lot do you guys ever click the button watch later on youtube never i do purpose i do but only for like informational shit i never do it for entertainment only information and informational shit i think that's the truth for me too but i click it all the time i don't use it all the time because then i know that it will go into the ashen heap yeah that i will never look at i don't know if i look at it i look at it press the button and i have like from 2011 a syndicate sims let's play wow yeah episode like eight or something was this saved in 2011 like this yeah you're on the youtube account you've always used yeah yeah this is my main youtube channel is the channel i've had since i had had youtube it's your real algorithm except for my first channel i wish i wasn't bullied i would have been on my original channel and that would be really special it's funny that you say that because you're a bully i hurt people hurt people yes you've become what you hate wait how am i bully i don't think you already agreed to it i feel like we can move on i feel like you know the answer let's get something straight this friend group is extremely dysfunctional in some pockets of the universe aiden and i are the nice ones you guys are the mean ones and we bully this shit out of each other you are not the nice mean they're the nice ones he is the nice one you are not the nice we're both the nice ones you guys are the mean ones you haven't let him talk today yeah i mean audio listeners don't want to hear you aiden i came into the office nick was here because we have to do this at 10 a.m it's 10 30 it's not a big deal by the way every time i know exactly how you feel and i feel the exact same way but the moment it leaves my mouth i'm like what am i what am i saying i had to do it at 10 a.m my job i do once a week it's like whatever but i i was uh and it's i come in and the ac is blasting and it's a little cold which is fine um and i said you know how i know aiden's not here and it's somewhere else out of the country it's because the fucking ac is on i don't know why he does he's practicing being european i i think it is because they don't have units or he has the same thing that applies he keeps it on or he turns it off he doesn't climate control his environment ever so whatever the temperature is it's just it's just it's just it's just a little bit cold it's just a little bit cold is what it is and i think it applies the same thing where it's like you know how he's looking at a screen and everything else just becomes the teacher from charlie brown he does that with his body and his mind dude but you agree with him because you're wearing jacket you prefer i don't agree with him because this ac was tuned it was turned on he does not touch climate control i think slime would rather be cold and have and then have the ability to control that with a jacket then be hot and have nothing you can do it typically yes indoors yes indoors indoors i think i think i think aiden is kind of bad yeah you are playing i know what you're doing what you do in the podcast is you play a foil so we're not three guys shitting on one guy who's not here in twice action i play i understand that i play a foid and now what do you want to say to me oh i love foid what's your what's your move you remember those tweets yeah you see you see a 10 out of 10 bombshell foid behind the counter at the local coffee shop how do you open it's an ai woman with 17 fingers what's your what's your opener she's handing you a coffee the coffee has fingers too wow lots of fingers on that hand those fell off really quick because they're like manosphere shit still has to feel a little authentic it can't just be raw like what's your opener guys like that carlos ocelot guy from g2 he like yeah he deleted a lot of his old videos active i don't know but oh my god i forgot he existed man right his last name's an animal yeah it's a small i think it's a cat the dark souls 3 loss yeah invisible man well he had an invisible son yes uh yeah yeah it's like one of the only ones that talks to you while you fight him he's for the antony graves so this guy there was this old video that me and miles quoted all the time because he was talking about this hypothetical situation where he's on a date with like a russian supermodel who's 19 i've heard this yeah because we said it all the time it's gone it's gone if you can find it if there's an archive of this guy and you for some reason fucking have it yes and then what was it again he come on give us a taste he was on a dinner date with her and then uh he did something she did something that made him mad so he's like i will god what was it was something so petty but he's like i would just take her home never talk to her again i buy the uber black to let her know i have money and then i send her home and i said i hope you got home well blocker no that was it that was it it was it was uh it was i buy her the uber not the uber black she didn't deserve it she did that's right i get her the uber excel not because i'm not broke memory is so complicated yeah you know i bet this tweet lives on i bet there's a screenshot in your dms with miles or something it's a screenshot but it's a video and oh it's a video the video itself is gone uh which is tough that is tough because again the guy was just too cringe to hack it in like manosphere grifting which is kind of it's it's a layup if you know what you're doing manosphere grifting is a layup if you know what you're doing has a shelf life no i think it's an always food there's always going to be insecure teenage boys who who's i'm saying like i don't know anyone who's doing it for i mean clavicular is doing it the baddest he's the baddest in the game i don't think he's doing manosphere stuff he is it's a little different oh it's a little different because he also like in in some ways rejects masculinity like he wears makeup and puts makeup on yeah yes and that is different oh no he's it was andrew tate he yeah he was the baddest didn't you guys um yeah i think his name is andrew wilson um i think he's tate i'm kidding i don't know who you're talking about i think you got this one i was afraid you'd take that earnestly no the i i don't he's in um i think it's like the whatever podcast the guy who went super viral because oh the guy who said you lick snizz oh that guy that guy dude that guy's crazy that guy is crazy you like snizz can you probably can you find the you like snizz video that is such a crazy man well he just got it into um another public um you don't say humiliation ritual yesterday was it did he say it again no no no he did a uh debate against candace owens oh my god does she she destroys him oh not my question but great to know candace owens destroys him believe in ufos but i was gonna no i was gonna say i was going to ask if he could do that same thing to her as some sort of attempt to hurt her i didn't watch it i just ended my marathon stream and then i scrolled social media for three hours uninterrupted that's good and and i found out that they did a debate and apparently he paid for the debate he paid her five hundred thousand dollars for the debate oh damn i think the debate was about specifically tyler robinson's assassination of charlie kirk and whether he did it or not and he was like he did it and she's like nope whoa you know he did it and i was like no he did it and i was like no do it but yeah that's but anyway that he got he got embarrassed again and uh yeah and now it's Kind of like when people are complimenting me at Professor U where they're like, I don't watch a lot of movies, this is great. It's like, wow, I don't agree with Candace Owens, but I love this meltdown that he's having because of her. It's so easy to win people over. The internet has a famously short memory and a famously long one simultaneously. And you have a famously big one. Talking about your belly. Now it gets big. Is it a psyop? Remember when Tucker Carlson was talking to, who was he, Ben Shapiro? Who was he talking to? When everyone was just like, Tucker's kind of spitting in this interview. I think it was Ben Shapiro. No, it was Ted Cruz, maybe? Oh, was it Ted Cruz? I don't know. It's not interesting if we can't remember. Part of me thinks it's like the real, like the powerful people are talking to the lolcows and the lolcows are like, yeah, destroy me in a bait. Do whatever you fucking need to do to me, you know? And that's how they win over like public opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Lolcows can really, I believe that each lolcow can turn it around. The avatar intro? If a lolcow is, if a lolcow is tipped, they could be stood back up on their four feet. They could rise once again. This lolcow will unite them all. Just scramble to your feet in the barn. I talked to Christian who, we were talking to this guy basically, who wanted the tungsten cube. Long story. Big one, small one. Big one. But he ran a clipping channel and he was talking about the, how the clipping channel works. How the clipping thing works. Cause I didn't know. I didn't know how it works. You talking about AstroTurfed? AstroTurfed clips. Yeah. And the process of how it goes. Have you seen the, um, Drake barks or meows for a goth mommy? Yeah. And I've seen, I've seen Drake barks to the tune of not like us. Okay. That's, that was the other clip. W's in the shot. AstroTurfed clip. W. They kick paid and a lot of money to get that kick, that, that clip. Spread around. And then I think they just, you know, um. And the result was just the woman got cyber bullied. Oh, that's always the result though. It's just, it's just a kick is probably just like, dude, double win. There's like, I don't know. It's, it's turning into like, you can own a piece of businesses that do this. It used to be like, kind of like a discord thing. Like you just, you know, like it happens within this little hole. No, no, no. It's big. Now, now they offer like a million dollars and they pay per impression. It's fixed. And then you have to come. And say this, how many impressions I got. And then you get your money. So wait, are you saying that Drake got a piece of barking to not like us? Barking to not like us is probably like a free out of love of the game. That was, that was like a Twitter, like some random account made it. Okay. It went pretty big. Wow. I mean, Drake, if Drake is on a live stream, he got a piece of whatever, all of it. I think W's in the shot. I mean, he probably has gotten like a billion dollars from steak. Yeah. I think he, he probably has. Hmm. Has Drake made more money from steak or his, or one of his biggest albums or meat? Oh, steak. Yeah. Albums don't make money. I think he's made more from steak than, I mean, the people, the amount of rights he sells on a single song on like one album like that is different than his entire music career. But I think that I dead ass think that's interesting because then here's my question for you. Ah, okay. Do you think Drake made more money from steak than his entire music career? I mean, train wreck has made more than Drake's music career. Yes. Wow. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. And when he gets flashed on Mirage on A-Site, his face looks crazy. It does look crazy. It's a great clip. He's never bought, for all the money he has, he's never bought a light. That is so, that is such an interesting question. He's never bought one. Is he the baddest in Toronto? Of course the baddest in Toronto. Oh, he's not from Toronto. Well, he is now. He is? Might as well. I guess he owns the whole bitch. I might as well. Dude, the money train makes, you could talk to the prime minister in brownface. What? Again. Mike Johnson, the new one? Yeah, the new one. Wow. It's a thing they do. They just shouldn't have took pictures. Yeah, it's part of the Canadian political system. I think the answer is that he has probably made more money than Drake. That's what I'm saying. He's made a fuck ton. Which is the answer to this. Because it's like all he posts about. Do you think, so my initial feeling of this is like, wow, what a pathetic thing. I don't know. A guy who has everything is addicted to gambling. And then I think about myself and I'm not addicted to gambling, but I have the, I have the DNA strand that makes that happen. If you were bored enough. If I was bored enough or like crazy rich enough. And, but I think I would never display this gambling on, you know, I would never like gambling is something you should do quietly and secretly. You believe this, which isn't true, right? Like you, it's not, it's not a act that you should do. You're not going to do it. quietly unpaid and he's just like damn i gotta put out an album bro he he walks out of the casino being like i gotta fucking make some music i'll dance for you he's like calling up saudi arabian princes to like do concerts he's like do you want me now to open the esports awards all right guys you said i had to handle lunch today here you go i got y'all one big burger really yeah it was 150 dollars for the extra burger for one burger and you guys can we all i figured it's a big enough burger we can all share it i can be honest with you nick i feel like you gave me the company credit card you said go handle lunch i got you the big burger i've been meaning to speak up about this i think you have an issue with malicious compliance was it 150 dollars or 150 thousand dollars there's an easy it was an expensive burger nonetheless there's an easy way to deal with this instead of sending you to do things wrong we eat the burger we can just try huel just try that how does that make things easier this is a meal replacement you mix it into water and this is basically your lunch there's 40 grams of protein you can mix it with milk too and you only need 30 seconds and just like 6 000 grams of protein i'd rather have what aiden has because this you had it delivered to be honest it has a lot more sodium probably i don't i can't deal with this anymore the guy who had a motorcycle and he was just holding it under his arm that's mr burger that's not mr burger you know what nick you don't even need to to do the mixing if you're too lazy to do that you could get pre pre-mixed versions that are already have 35 grams of protein 27 essential vitamins and minerals ready to drink now yeah all that sounds way better instead of spending three hours going to get us this burger wait but i had i had to get a u-haul to bring the burger here that was like an extra 45 dollars i want to kill it is it does that need a u-haul to bring it here h-u-e-l is that what it says that sounds way better than this thing you have you have wasted money you've wasted time and also this is starting to stink i don't know i well yeah i bought it a week ago oh my god because you guys told me to handle lunch next week it's disgusting i just bought it that day you want a reasonable a reasonable meal replacement a limited time offer right now you can make healthy eating simple get healed today with my exclusive offer of 15% off online with code the yard at huel.com slash the yard that's h-u-e-l.com slash the yard new customers only thank you for huel i'm still not convinced it's more convenient than a burger that lasts us a lifetime i hate you it wouldn't be a lifetime even if we all ate it fresh it would be like for a day and then we'd feel shitty all day and then yingling would throw up and then there would be a big rotting burger on the set that zipper would have to be burger tie let's go back to the episode but well we have to get a team to take this stinking shit out of our office and then you think you think the opposite is you have drizzy drake and i think drizzy drake has suffered a generational aura loss in many ways obviously but but the but gambling is like a big part of that deal yeah right because steak says here's 500 million dollars yeah and then he's like doing streams and he's in a penthouse and it's like i don't know it feels like then you get w's in the shop i think and that's good shh drake is interesting because he i think he's like you remember he's an actor when you see him on camera because he's like so confident in money when he's on camera yeah but at the same time i think he's one of those rappers that moves mysteriously traditionally like he's you know you don't hear him in the press saying stuff very often like a playboy cardi but not as mysterious as playboy cardi so when he when he pops out for a steak stream you realize it's like oh you're not moving in silence like lasagna you just you just believe that's how you do it you just believe that's how you do it you just believe that's how you make more money like so when the money gets involved yeah you're as public as any celebrity he doesn't do anything public and then it's a steak stream he's like what up chat yeah well yeah saying what up chat is in a way the most humiliating thing it's very it's to me it like it removes anything i ever liked about drake yeah imagine uh imagine timothy chalamet going what up chat i think he i think you can find that clip i think you can too actually the new it's the what up chat test and it's to see if they've lost all their aura if they've ever said what up chat and you just go through every celebrity and see if they said what up chat the timothy the timothy chalamet made custom xbox controllers is the dr mario nair of like pop culture fun facts oh yeah it is like the like timothy chalamet pops up and someone's like did you know that he and it's like yes everyone knows that we all have seen that there's a there's a timeline where indy never ready was in your chat w's in the shot just because she streamed on twitch she did stream she's a big fan of people you're like tangentially like she's a big we need her on this fucking podcast um we get to work i'm not kidding i'll check if she follows me you have a chance if she doesn't you have zero chance and i'm guessing zero yeah i'm not gonna do the work for you you know how fucking money you are you're not sure if she does or doesn't that is how late you are do you understand i assume if she followed me let my girlfriend be wearing a t-shirt that says you know i would know it's no dude it's a no she doesn't follow you she don't fall can you do wait wait follow her no no no no no or loss no it's not or a lot i love doing obsessions all you say you know what i watched most of inception obsession yesterday yeah yeah just on tiktok so insulting i watched most of it we lost our chance i watched most of uh this movie that i got wrong the only excuse is you could be like i got so scared i turned it off no no i was on tiktok and i just kept getting tiktoks that was like that was like did you know that bear was the villain and i've never seen the movie and so i was like why why is bear the villain why is the name bear i don't know because all i've seen before that was no no no no no but did you watch it in shorts yeah yeah because then i was like why is bear the villain and then and then there's like a scene that's like this is why bear is a villain but i was like oh i don't know the context so then i was like what's the context of that and then i was like oh the okay so there's oh so he's a guy he made a wish and then she became possessed and then but then he was like raping her because he was having sex with possessed her and then and then she was fucking killing people and then it ended and then she was her and she was left and he could have stopped it but he didn't stop yeah that's the movie so you so when you said i when you said i watched most of obsession what you meant was i watched on youtube shorts yeah yeah but like yeah yeah yeah wow but i've only seen like 10 minutes it's an hr me a moment because if aiden said this i think i'd kill him i think you saying it it's quirky can i defend myself yeah of course please i truly do not enjoy horror movies which is why i've skipped most horror movies why i don't like i don't like the feeling i it sits with me it sits with me do you believe in ghosts in your life yes wow i don't think you do i slime i checked my closet every day until i moved out of my mother's house i would pay for that footage for ghosts or marauders i'd pay for footage of you like in your house and like like frightened and like checking a closet dude yes it wasn't it wasn't like it was like it was like systematic it was like every night if i open the closet boom boom check under the tunnel bed then i go through every door and make sure they're locked in your list of best friends i'm at least top 10 and i've never seen you like that i've never seen you genuinely scared yeah well so now i avoid i avoid it i avoid i don't like i don't like true crime uh like you know when there's that that there's that youtube channel that every streamer is watching you know when there's that ewc no that's the esports world cup but no no it's also called that no it's not it's like the it's like the deep voice and it's like only police cam or only um interviews with people who commit murders j something though it's not there's it yeah you say any memory hold the ewc is really funny i swear to god it's an e am i crazy yeah there might be anybody there they watch kobayon crush the big key after losing it's like it's like the name of the channel is like a phrase it's like a yeah yeah some sort of catchphrase but anyway i i i skip all that i skip all horror i i learned this about you today today i learned that you don't like horror i don't like horror we were talking earlier about what if uh like 10 years in the future you end up cheating on cutie cinderella with your smart house yeah yeah like it wakes you up in the morning and it's like it's time to eat it ludwig do you mean like the movie wake up featuring uh megan fox megan fox i don't know about that one we're talking about smart house the disney channel like what am i in the house you're anything anything whole something is happening there is an emotional at the very least connection with the house and yourself and it's a smart house and it goes wake up ludwig wake up ew it's time to eat it ludwig explore with us uh yeah i i think will you and at first at first it's like he's brushing his teeth in the mirror and the smart mirror is talking to him he's like what do i got today smart smart house like oh you got a couple things today you got this this and maybe show it to me yeah and then the lighting on your smart mirror also like like starts to warm up and it's like looking good today giving you small little compliments i and then a month later yeah you got your your your you're pinching your nut sack skin into an outlet yeah and putting it in the outlet because what house are you gonna fuck the house and she's like oh i like that i like she's like i like what you like whatever you like whatever you Like as what I like, I don't think I would. do you think you would find out i yes yes 100 can you probably already think you're doing that and i just like she's like laying awake and you're just half asleep she's like are you cheating on me with a house are you fucking the house just tell me if you are did you fuck the house i just want to hear if you are don't be mad i don't think you fuck the house by putting your nutsack into an outlet how would you fuck the house mr mr fucking house fucker well i'm not a house fucker so i wouldn't know but if i were a house fucker guy who clearly thought about fucking his house that's not how i'd do it i'm not a house fucker i just think you probably go to the oh you probably go to the sink disposal the garbage disposal like the sink like the sink hole with the black thing and then under the garbage disposal yeah yeah but well like the but the sink but you don't want to put the garbage disposal on the sinkerator yeah but if the smart house is mad at you they can turn on the garbage disposal and really fuck up your life that'd be in the only place you can fuck the smart house is a dangerous horrible game yes i would fuck other way i would maybe you would i think you could suck on something maybe you suck on my smart house the guy and i'm sucking on it suck on something this is actually i'm not kidding i think this is a good question you know what you suck on you know those little things that are outside and it's a little like thing that comes out of the ground about half a foot and it houses some sort of thing maybe it's like a sprinkler system but it's like a plastic domed housing yeah you suck on that or you bounce on that whole thing in your mouth you bounce on that shit you could bounce on it when you start fucking and sucking shit outside if it's part of the house it like totally if if you think about it our penises are outside you probably bounce on the sprinkler penises are inside no our penises are outside like it's my body saying your hand is outside if i have a huge fucking raw nasty plumber then that's outside it's inside it's outside it's like is this outside a giant blade across my body my penis gets cuts off that's outside what are you saying you're saying the hand isn't outside i'm saying that hand is inside what's outside is there anything that's outside hair what if the penis is outside and hair is outside the hair is outside but the hand is not outside yeah what about the skin skin is inside it's that doesn't count it's like annoying because it's like what is is the wood of a house inside or outside it's both that bastardizes the whole discussion you know you don't get to say that it's both you don't say that the wood on the outside is on but there's probably drywall on the inside what right yeah but wood's still inside and outside so interesting what's outside wood's also inside yes but also i think i have a good play a good play here is you suck on that thing outside and if the house moans you know you found something good what i feel like you don't care about this conversation much as i do we're just totally fine maybe we're the um maybe we're the dryer like vents to outside it always smells kind of like laundry and it's like warm take a it's a house bro you can do whatever you want a sexual dump you really can you explore anything you want you can dump in the crawl space of your home no one can stop you sexually and you can say and you can say that was an act that was a sexual act you took it wait wait wait you took it dumping me why is it so funny good dump letter smart house loved it i wouldn't cheat on my fiance with my house what about your wife also no dude she was bad as hell she was bad as hell she was bad as hell if they remade this movie it'd be sydney fucking sweeney yep that's fry's girlfriend and she'd have a scene where she's crying yeah oh dude obsession with sydney sweeney but it's a smart house and also bear is still the villain and ludwig watches it all in shorts and there's like you ever notice in those shorts there's like in the very back of the clip there's a really quiet person describing what's happening you notice this no i don't watch these so a lot so in a lot of these like like short forms about like movies you'll if you listen closely there's like a voice that's like happening and i used to think that the voice was them trying to mix up copyright signals but really it's for blind people who really who like there's a voice in the background that's like like describing literally what's happening i don't think it's for blind people but listen to what it's saying no no i know i know what is it i watch them i i don't don't know i think it's still i don't know if it's copyright or i don't know if it's like i don't know i don't know i was told that it's for blind people because like they have such a heightened sense of sound that they can process both of those voices how many blind people are scrolling shorts that's what my question is what the fuck else are they doing is there a blind algorithm they're right there well you're chilling well i mean that's what you do when you chillin blind chillin listening to shit you know what i do if i was blind i'd listen to the radio how crazy would that be yeah i mean it's perfect for you you enjoy it the same way everyone else does you'd listen you'd literally be listening to this podcast it'd be like tv for your ears but i feel like you're not scrolling because so many things you scroll require the context of the visual straight up if you're blind and you listen to this podcast sound off oh if i was blind i'd watch the fuck out of atrioc this guy sounds healthy god i hope you look how he sounds no you can hear his hairline bro i don't care you can hear that shit one day he takes his heads off there back guys you hear a scrape and you're like because you have heightened uh hearing sense you can hear the air move across his headphone dent differently and you're like oh that guy's bald and you never watch me again i don't believe it believe what i think my hearing's as good as any blind persons i thought i thought about this yesterday on the toilet i'm not kidding i was like what if i went blind today what would i do all day for the rest of my life and i'd say i'd become amazing at an instrument have you seen those clips of them shooting basketballs have you seen a blind person shoot a free throw yeah they have someone who like takes a stick and like smacks the rim okay oh yeah like the sound waves shouldn't shouldn't it be like a challenge where they'd go tap tap and they hit it with a straw but with basketball what if it was just like a click all the time you're saying they hit it with a stick maybe that's like a a rec league because like pro blind basketball should be some sort of click device um like they all have it yeah that's what i'm talking about oh see high elo blind free throws like blind dude perfect yes it's like the camera's over here and it's like what's up guys what's up guys what about dude perfect today i'm just gonna throw this shit about four million times and i hope that shit goes in it's such a hard thing to be as blind but to be blind dude perfect is like is an achievement of human human spirit blind dude perfect i want one of them to be my pastor he's holding a bowling ball today we're dropping a basketball off the eiffel tower it's not the eiffel tower it's like costco which dude perfect guy would you want to be the pastor for your wedding one of the twins really can't be the other twin one of the twins but the one i asked for is on the one i get and i figured out they look different one of them has like work done i think it's kobe his work done i think he has cheek work done yes um i wanted i'd love to be the beard but i know i'm not the beard who would i be i'm dude perfect it's like i don't i don't know all their names you would be the uh you would be the the like the tall blonde guy can you show us dude perfect please yeah can we see cast of dude perfect uh full cast image i think i would be obviously the bald guy who wears a hat a lot we've done this way too tall though we have done this section it's okay to come back to it i'm interested if our answers are consistent because dude perfect is an institution by now yeah they are i do hate how the guy in the middle always wears um i know you are a little yeah i already said he's the bald guy on the top right nick you'd be the guy on the top left and then aiden would be the twins so one of the twins has different eyes reptile like yeah you do say that that's it i've said this before you said he has reptile eyes you say they have people i do am i tell me i'm wrong that the guy on the right does not look like a like a dragon kin they're on a tour right now uh well i think it was nick a years ago was begging us to go on the dude perfect cruise yeah no that's so insane the dude proof i mean come on bro do you think northern lion was on it no dude maybe loki was secretly on it and he was like i should do this i straight up don't think he would get recognized on that cruise no i think the venn guiding room does not yeah yeah there's zero overlap do you think they were throwing like ping pong balls and shit yeah of course on the cruise there was probably like like extreme cornhole instead of cornhole yeah and stuff like that cruise perfect dude that's probably there's it probably smells crazy they have cruise stereotypes as a video because a big part of their channel i don't know if you know this a big part of their channel is like like every every dad and it's like oh look at his family and they're all matching it's like facebook humor jesus christ they've been running this shtick for i'm not shitting you maybe 12 years this is sponsored because it said thanks to disney cruises for this yeah that it's for sure sponsored bro fancy dinner oh yeah this is ultra normie ultra normie parent content yeah but dude perfect i like the thai subtitles cuties nieces and nephews they can watch three youtube channels this is one of them yeah i guess that's that's why they make this it's mr beast and it's jesser jesser dude they're gonna be so good at like sports yeah - Yeah, they're gonna be real knowledgeable about it. - Jester's like the basketball, guy like uh like uh me and luca donchich and ludwig are gonna see who right yeah are gonna are gonna look at five basketball players wearing ski masks and try to figure out which the nba player this is alternate realities could have been flight 23 white yes why because i think flight is not the flight does one of the ones against his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend yeah that's like and that's what i'm saying that's what flight which is much different than what jester does much more interesting yes i agree thank you but jester makes something more appealing for a larger audience jester's is a much more well-packaged thing people are cattle because because how do you not find flights take on basketball content more interesting well you don't know who jester is for one you do as described he's fine he's fine he's he's he's very nice he's very sweet very successful 50 million subscribers damn 50 million guys so we've been doing we've been playing a lot of counter-strike you know because this episode will be out when that's the truth and we've been having a lot of trouble communicating okay no yeah it's been flawless probably i can't imagine who the problem is in the stack with the communication and i want to make a suggestion because i just found out about this i think it could help i think we should start using quo do you want to use quo and counter-strike while we want to talk in game chat some of us want to talk in discord some of us just want to yell in the room quo was designed for exactly this problem it consolidates all of our communication challenges all into one place yeah today's episode is brought to you by the smarter way to run your business communications because counter-strike is a business isn't it defeating the terrorists is a business that all of us just don't have to work for so how would this work can we actually go through it because quo is the number one rated business phone system on g2 with over 3 000 reviews right it's a business thing a team handles the calls and texts from one shared number how do we make this work for us on dust too so we all get into a shared number with quo and then because we are all a part of the same team we can use that number to communicate with each other seamlessly it doesn't sound easy is it easy it's extremely easy calls text voicemails transcripts comms flashes nades smallies all happen in one clean view kerrigan probably uses quo yeah i think all of mouse sports probably uses pro probably okay using quo for a mirage a execute do you think do you think we can become navi oh almost assured yeah even on a save round when money is on the line you can always say hello with quo if your business has money on the line quo can help consolidate all your different methods of communication in one platform you can try quo for free plus get 20 off your first six months when you go to quo.com slash the yard that's q u o dot com slash the yard maybe we don't invite josh to the quo because he's just been ghost calming all week right i quote you can exclude people from it because we haven't even played and i'm pretty sure he's doing that he's already ghost calming i'm positive during flash like well i don't just throw it just counter terrorists win back to the episode dude youtube is just filled i mean this is an obvious thing it's a truism but there's just so many youtubers this guy's huge but that are like there's thousands of youtubers that hundreds of thousands of people watch that you never ever ever will know about ever in your life there's no shortage there's no shortage of audience like there's just so many people looking at their phone all day can you look up chiz plays i was fucking dumping mr yesterday on street fighter and this came up in my algorithm and his name is chiz and he has 700 000 subs and he plays wii sports friction and like it's like i was like and i i became obsessed with him within an hour and so now every time i was losing with akuma people say w chiz l chiz chiz would be proud of this it seems like he does almost only wwe no no he has he had a crazy one for um for fifa for the world cup it was like 700 000 views you hit most popular i respect that this guy like his biggest videos are like oh no never mind it's a lot of sports video games he has okay i thought that like he was just sticking to wwe even though no one's watching but actually he has a passive success there yeah and you you click on it and he's just wearing a ref suit and he's wearing the stereotypical streamer room that's kind of lit purple with the ikea shelf actually that wii bowling thumbnail is weirdly fucking genius it's so much better that there's a squiggly line you know like if the squiggly line wasn't there it's a terrible one yeah it's art bro well anyway i i it was just i was i was dumping mr and just thinking about chiz which is probably why i was dumping mr and it's just a crazy place this is the biggest go to the very top biggest youtuber cheese people have been doing this no all the way all the way all the way all the way what just let let us overtake something like he says subscribe now so we can overtake nintendo he's at 255k when he made it and then nintendo's at 8.42 mil yeah he hasn't updated that in a while either no but that's just like it was like ryan trahan did it to pass dr phil wasn't it wasn't it didn't it start with t-series uh it was it was it was no because pewdiepie defending from t-series pewdiepie defending from t-series pewdiepie defending from t-series was the biggest t-series was going to pass and they were defending pewdiepie that was the first time i ever well no i guess that was one of the first times i remember someone being like don't let this person beat me but before that i guess youtube used to have the top 100 yeah so they used to be like let's beat smosh let's you can still look up pewdiepie versus t-series and there's live video channels just let's still exist dude his rap is so crazy who's in that fucking chat right now oh man does everyone want to pull it up let's see we can read the chat who's still here it's probably who's still here in 2026 right listening to pewdiepie do an indian accent for or boy in a band do an indian accent for half a minute straight and being like who's who remember oh my god remember it who remember i only know this because i did the whole eight hour stream where i listened to all the influencers anthony fantano don't stay in school oh that video is amazing he he he talks about math this i like math i think math is better than math pewdiepie wait what is this is this pewdiepie 24 7 oh yeah it's but it's a raw channel well that's just his it's just his twitch channel this is just some passive income damn yeah that's right bitch 82 viewers pussy but is there not a t-series pewdiepie it says no slurs why of all guys he's changed and now it's slurless what's it called it just if you look on youtube look at pewdiepie versus t-series come up top 50 youtube live sub count 33 watching it's mr i don't know this is like this is like everybody yeah do that there's yolo aventuras okay this is the top 50 youtube channels how many of these channels do you know you full screen this yeah it's not bad um i know i know mr beast t-series coco melon yep what about set india no flat and nikki i'm skipping until i know one wwe pewdiepie obviously wwe pewdiepie i didn't realize there's 17 channels with over 100 million subscribers that guy's channel's name is topper guild very interesting and i'm a guild officer and topper guild's about to hit 100 mil that one is just called toys and colors the zamzam brothers i need to know what the zamzam brothers make i know mark rober wow he's a lot bigger than i thought justin beaver still still rocking those those dead subscribers still holding it down uh sony music india shouts the fuck out yeah info bells hindi it's like seven info bells let me see zam zam brother youtube i want to know what they're up to do you know about the zam zam water no what's that it's the the water you drink uh in in mecca and it's and what's it like holy it's holy water yeah wow zam zam brothers emirates first class dubai to usa that'll just always hit you just go they're not you they're shorts creators for sure if you go shorts in search by most popular i'm sure one has like 700 million views 455 jesus christ and that guy's big as fuck and his haircut's crazy watch heart funny laugh magic let's just watch the most viewed watch the most viewed so it's just like oh really big guys oh it's a guy no no that's a real person for dubai properties www zam elect properties.com wow so interesting that's great that's great bro let's fucking go are there's him in the house a lot of people are there people watching that not mindlessly like are there people who watch that laugh out loud and then like turn to their cousin and go watch this funny video yeah and then they subscribe yeah of course wow and they go babe look look look they're siamese and then this person said respect all men because allah made everyone fucking a four species of human in one screen that's that's a meaner comment that's crazy yeah the first guy's just a tall black guy oh look at that species that's so crazy - All varieties of person in one lift. It's a very international comment section. Guys, I know Aiden's not here, but maybe it's better. We need to talk about the composition for the CS marathon. Dude, I'm really not looking forward to this. Oh, yeah, because Ludwig, you have to play and win 10 matches just to get your rank, and you are struggling to win 10 matches. Where are we at now, sport? I just did a marathon for Liza P. I don't care. It's a great game, but I started to get a little frustrated, and that isn't considering how much worse CS2 is going to be because I've been playing, bro. It sucks. You have to win 10 games to get your rank. What are you at? I'm seeing the cheaters. I don't like the way people communicate in that game. The rank system's a sham. I fought against a 6K yesterday, went 30 and 8. Great 6K. Sometimes you have a good day. Strong 6K. We're hoping Josh steps up to that occasion. I have to win 10 games. I played 4 last night. I lost every one. You're 4 and. I'm 4 and, like, 12 or some shit. Oh, my God, Ludwig. Okay, so you have 6 to go. But I've had 6 to go. You know what I mean? You have 6 to go is what you say. I've had 6 to go for a while. My win rate's 33%. We literally can't start the stream until you have a rank. Yeah, it would be a waste of everyone's time for you not to have a rank. I'll have you go play for me. No, you don't. Yeah, he's going to get my 6 wins. Just so I can get the rank. No, you don't. You can go hopping on. But everyone's going to be like. I abstain. Everyone's going to be like, Ludwig, you didn't earn it because you got your placement from someone else. Huh? And I'll just say you can go tank the rank. Tank the rank to the point where they stop. Get there and then tank it. Yeah, to where they stop complaining about it. In what world is that something you thought you could say to me and I would look at you with respect and not spit in your mouth? Like a house. And I would take it. I would say it would be like the house sprinkler. Like a hot house that wants it. When you drink the sprinkler from the house, that's the house spitting in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You put your mouth on the sprinkler thing? What's the hose? Come on. Fellas. Come on. What's the faucet? Come on. When you got to put your thumb on the hose? So it comes out in like a thinner stream? No, dude. It's going to suck. Well, okay. Yeah, it'll suck. But like the thing is you talk about community. I'm looking forward to it because the worst part about CS is your teammates, right? Yes. But our teammates are all our awesome friends. That love each other very much. True. And then, but I think, I don't know. What are you guys bringing to the table? We've talked about this before, but I fired up a DM. My M's not hot. I was playing on the setup here yesterday. I was setting up my PC and I wasn't feeling great on the setup. It was like, nothing's wrong with it. It's just different than everything. Every part of it is different than my home setup. So I was just a little bit rusty and I haven't played at all this season. Should we do like a bit like, because we're five, we're five stack, right? We do like, I don't like Exodia, but like that's obvious ones. We've been doing crazy. I mean, we should start, I think we're the first match. We should start with NASCAR. What do you mean? Have you ever done NASCAR? Yeah. He's yeah. Oh yeah. But then it would need, I guess you could do it on any map. Yeah. We could ask her as long as you turn left. I thought you were looking for a name like Exodia. Yeah. That's what I was talking about. A name? He's looking for a name. I thought, no, I thought you were talking about a strategy. Is Exodia a strategy? Oh no. I meant all of us. What strategy is Exodia? Exodia is when all five of you stack one site and you all stack on each other's heads. You make Exodia. Oh, that's a, yeah. I forgot about Exodia. Oh. No, I was talking about the fact that we're a five stack and we only operate as a five stack on display names and PSPs. Oh yeah. Like when everyone on the team's name is red, yellow, and they have like the profile picture and the color. Let's just blow off CS2 and do a five person seamless co-op of Elden Ring. I would not, I would just not do that. That doesn't sound fun to me at all. And just start fucking up Margit. I forgot you can do that. Margit can't even move. It's so easy probably. We're just wailing on them. Just five naked twigs stabbing him with daggers. All right, everyone charge your club. Dude, you know what would maybe be funny is seamless Elden Ring, because it doesn't scale per player, right? What do you mean? Like Margit's the same health bar and difficulty. No, they increase the health bar. That's usually, but I don't know. I've never done that. Deadass? I don't know what they do because I'm playing it right now and it's the same. Oh, you can scale it. You can? Okay. It'd be funny to do. They didn't turn it on. It'd be funny. I don't know how, because there's no settings. It's just a notepad. Who are you playing with? Alex. Oh, right, right, right. But it'd be funny to do like if the yard does seamless Elden Ring, but we all have to use fists. Yeah. Everything we fight, we have to punch it. Just beat the shit out of someone. It reminds me of, Miles told me, because Miles used to run hardcore WoW a lot, like way before the, he used to run it in private servers and there was this guy and it was like this legend of the man. He was trying to get to 60 in WoW Classic. Like only using fists, just a naked man punching things. And it takes, it's just, it's like a grind. It just, it takes a million years. And he died at like level 32 in Stranglethorn Vale by just punching gorillas and too many gorillas attacked him and he lost the fight. It was just like. You gotta just be like, I failed my challenge. You can't restart. No, you, but the hardcore guys is like, they, they just, they shrug and then they, they roll again. So good. They're crazy people. Dude, there was this guy I saw on TikTok. He was getting to level a hundred in Kingdom Hearts in Destiny Island by getting specifically Tex against Titus in the fight, which is crazy. How much did he do it? Yeah. It probably took like, I don't know. I want to say like 600 hours of just fighting this one scene. Yeah. And the same guy did that in the beginning of Final Fantasy VII, right when you like the first encounter where you get. You get off the train, you just don't leave that area, but he wanted to do it continuous to prove he didn't fuck it up. So he had like two computers running and it was like, it, and it would like, he would sleep and then come back to do it. It was disgusting. And to get to a hundred on cloud or something. Yeah. He was broken at the end. Cause he gave people were just like, dude, imagine you unlock something and be like, yeah, be cool. But yeah, this is just. Just like guys, let's just finish this. Yeah. Some cost fallacy, bro. Oh my God. Cause you're just like, well, I got all this way. I'm leveled up. I'm level 80. What am I going to do? I'm going to stop now. Why would I stop now? And it exponentially gets harder. It does get harder. But yeah, I don't know. I was doing the marathon and you know, marathons are tough. Yeah. Why are you doing back to back? What made you want to do Liza P? Are you, are you, oh, by Liza P? By Liza P. Is the sequel coming out? No, they announced the complete edition on Nintendo Switch 2. Oh. But they're, they're, they hot drop. What are you talking about? Like when they announced the DLC, they did a surprise drop. Okay. I don't think they're going to do that. I think they'll do an influencer teaser when they announce the sequel is what I'm saying. Okay. Sure. They'll just fucking dump it. I didn't know that. I never played the game. What would you rate it? It's great. It's an amazing game. Wow. I think it's better than any of the Dark Souls. No shit. I never played it. Wow. That's cool, bro. But anyway, yeah, I'm going back to back marathon, but the issue with marathons is when you do a marathon, you're streaming it. People come in and they just, what they want, those years are going to happen every time. What rank are they at? How far are they? How long will that take? Lol. Bye. And then that happens like every two seconds. Because everyone kept coming into my marathon and they kept saying, is he playing DLC? And that there would be a bot that auto replied to someone if they said DLC and would answer. But without fail, every five seconds, someone goes, is he playing DLC? And it's like, they don't care. They're not engaging in this marathon. They're just here for this crumb of a question. Ludwig, how does that make you feel? I started raging at people. The end. Oh, so really, I guess there's a little bit of slime in everybody when fucking the same shit gets fucking said every fucking time and fucking chat. I sat down this one guy. I'll show you the clip. It was, I got mean. You sat a guy down? I got mean. Cause you know what? And I've been wanting to talk about this. I've been wanting to. Say your truth. We did it. We did a D&D. We did two D&D episodes where I DM'd and Ludwig created a character named Pitor, who was like a teacher's pet super senior at the Americana Academy for fucking. It's smegma or whatever. I don't even remember what I made. Yeah. This is, you nailed it. He talked crazy the whole time. This is Pitor's voice. Oh my God. I guess, I guess I'll roll. I guess I'll roll to attack with my axe. Yeah. After that episode, he starts talking like Pitor. I don't know why. I have clips. I have 10 clips of him talking weird. Oh, like in his daily life. Only on stream. On stream. And it was weird. He started stop doing it. And I don't know why. Wow. And I don't know why he's doing this. But what always brought me back down to earth was that when he would yell at somebody and tell him to kill himself to chat, that wasn't Pitor talking. All right. That was raw. I wasn't talking like Pitor. Why were you talking weird? I wasn't. I was talking. I was talking. Um, chat. I think, I think we should do volleyball next year. Let's do a volleyball tier list. It was, it was different. It wasn't that tone. It was fucking, it fucking wasn't. Tell me why. Because you know there was a tone and tell me why it was different. I already told you this. Why? I already told you. But it didn't have to do. It didn't have to do with CS. It had to do with the streamer gains. It was a streamer gains. Do it to stream the gains. Cause you streamed after we did the D&D episode. You did a streamer games recap episode. It was everyone happy for you. If I can make Pitor voice, then Pitor lives in me. But why was he living in you now? Cause sometimes Pitor wins. And you don't know when you talk to me whether you get Pitor or Ludwig. I don't like that. Wow. Wow. All right. Let's watch this clip. This is from my marathon. I was talking about cause I got a book and I want to know what book it is. what book I hadn't read because I've been reading every book. It's a lore book. and I read every one. And usually when they pop up, they have like a little symbol and it goes unread. And so I said, I wonder what book I didn't read. And he goes, Oh, you can see the symbol. And then I'm explaining how that's not always right. Cause some of the ones that I read still have the symbol. So I can't use that as trustworthy information. Idea of how it's supposed to work, but I read most of the blue ones. It is accurate. No, no, no. Uh, I guess I'm telling you as my lived experience that I did read them, even though they had the blue check. This is not like bought evidence, but I understand that your game systems are so resolute that it, that couldn't be. Nope. Okay. Motherfucker. Do you want to do this? Do you really want to fucking do this? Cause I was talking fucking nice to you. Dumb cunt. Okay. Don't fucking test me here. Cause I'll go through the VOD. I will find the exact moment where I read one that has the blue check and then we'll permanently ban you. I'll go through the effort. But don't sit here and tell me I did not live the experience that I live. I lived it. It was me. Hey, where are you? Um, okay. So let's, let's do this together. Fairytale, the three brothers workshop. That's the intro. Yes, bro. Mission who made the friendly three puppet brothers. This is what I call reading and brothers that happily ever after. And then, and then I close it. It's so weird. Cause I told you it was my lived experience. I told you this. Steve just as a reminder, by the way, it has the blue check that says on red, but you saw me read it. Ban him. I actually have no interest in banning him. It's just someone whose messages I will never read again because they're an idiot. That's what you call going off. I called him a cunt. Ah, can you do? Yeah. You said crazier shit in league. I do. But, but what, here's my theory. And I know I've talked about this before and I always get fucking shut down, but Aiden's not here today. Shut me down. And so now it's like a free market of like free awesome ideas and we can all wear robes and shit. Slime unchained. I'm unchained and you're my unchained fellows. Inside me, the guy that you guys make fun of is like, Oh my God, he asked how your day was going. You're fucking insane. Why'd you call this? Why'd you ask, say this guy, I hope you get a scary call from your parents. Okay. When you say that, that guy exists within all of us. And to pretend that I'm crazy. For being the guy that's in all of us is well, it's like racism. You're crazy because of the threshold for what? It's like you're being racist to me. You're being racist to me. Yeah. It's like racism. Okay. And it's unfounded and it's horrible. I think your threshold for that guy coming out is too low. So it's an issue of threshold, not validness of the feeling. I mean, yeah. Like if a guy were to come up and say some like heinous shit, right? Like truly heinous shit. And then you were to bark back at him. I would be like, that's fine. But you bring it out. Cause a guy literally said like, like, what'd you eat today? And then, and then you're in a street fighter match. And then you go, why would he ask that? Why the fuck are you going to ask what I ate today? I got mad at thinking about my fucking doctor. What do you want to see what my shit looks like too? You freak. Just watch the fucking gameplay. I understand. I mean, I understand what you feel. I get, why did he ask that? I get it. Why would he ask that? You get it. I do get it. Yeah, I do get it. Why? Let me try to, let me try to explain. Do I, do I, I think I'm different than slime in that I don't punish that person, but I still don't. I still think the question is stupid. The thing is we're going to, we're going to have to deal with this because slime does this in the privacy of his own home on his own stream. I like to call this hear your own voice style participation. This is when a chatter, a discord user, anyone, they type something because they had the urge to type something. Not because they had the urge to type something, but because they had something they wanted to say. So I, uh, you know, we're seeing each other. I don't know if you know this. You're seeing burger. Yeah. It's really mean zipper three broke up. Oh my God, bro. I mean, she's great. How long have you, that's what you're saying in front of her. She's great. She's she can't really speak for herself. How long have you known her? How long? Well, about two months, three months. Okay. But I mean, something I wanted to tell you guys is, so we've been going out to eat a lot and, uh, I know this sounds a little fucked up, but we've been going to a lot of smash burger joints. Oh my Aiden. What the fuck man? Yeah. It's like ethical. I will for, I think it is for me and she doesn't really speak up at all. So I figure it's fine. Really? Yeah. And I, I, and we go out and I pay for all the meals and they usually have like one of those little white square readers. Oh dude, I love that. There's so many places where it plays with the square reader. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the nice thing about that plate, again, you're taking her there. I will get to that. The nice thing about it is the square reader just tracks all of my past purchases there. And I already, I got a free milkshake last time I went, I didn't even realize it was tracking all my points. It is really convenient. Also, you can just straight up blast your phone on that thing. Get your points. I mean, if I run a burger business, I'm using square and I'm not letting this guy in my fucking business. If I had a bit, a smash burger place with a square reader and a burger comes in, I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Whoa. I don't know about that. Like, for all of the backend stuff, all this point of sales, you know, square online, you don't need anything that's complicated. You just put square and everything works. It's fine. It's great. But someone like you comes in with my burger wife. And I say, I'll pay for whatever burgers you have with your square. And last time I went to that place, I was like, does anyone here have an it team or an accounting degree? And they were like, no. And I'm like, interesting. Thanks for telling me that now I'll order. It was a good thing to know about that. They just say the square handles all of it, which is so interesting. Guys, square is great for businesses, but you're also allowed to ban people from businesses that make you feel weird. If you're starting a business or running one that helps deserve better tools, clearly burgers are allowed in the restaurant. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down right now. You can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash yard. That's S Q U A R E.com slash go slash yard. Run your business smarter with square. Get started today. You are straight up. Stop taking it. It's like, I think it's unethical. I think what you're doing is unethical. Sometimes, sometimes I take little bites out of her and then I pack in the meat that I bought. Can we play a little game? Yeah. I want to play a game. Yes. You're actually the main player. Me and Nick are going to come up with chat messages and you say whether you would ban or ignore. And, and, and I'm bringing, I'm bringing this up because we're going to do the CS2 marathon and there's going to be moments where you're going to, a play's going to be called. So I'm going to be alt tabbed out on a second monitor to ban a chatter. You do this. Listen to me really quick for a second. You do. Come on. Listen to me. What are we going to fuck? What are we doing? What are we doing? I show up all the time on time. Because I have, we have to be honest. We have to be honest. Because I thought about this and I say, how annoying would it be for my team? My friends, that if I was busy looking at chat and then I didn't do something correctly. I'm going to be brave here when I say this. And I'm like, I was just defending you. Just remember that. I think you care. I think the anger you feel at an angry chat message supersedes how much you care about that. And sometimes I think a majority of the time. Wow. And I think, and I think the thing is maybe it's a sweet thought and I appreciate you thinking it. You're going to buckle. Yeah, you're going to buckle. You're going to crack. I'm going to buckle. I'm talking about how many times It's like, look, you gotta quit fucking doing awesome drugs. You get to do some drugs. So let's go through. Let's go through as an exercise. This is going to help us because now you're going to have this and you're going to think back at this moment and then maybe that'll help you not do it. This is one of the easiest things to, I can think of a thousand messages. Let's go. I can think of a thousand messages. So I just say ban or not? You would say whether you, and I guess I'm going to, we're going to try to maybe raise it a bit. This is going to be in the context of you are in a CS2 game. Okay. Do you all tab over? And you, like, you can be dead. Like this can be anytime during the game. Okay. And it's 11, nine. And, and sure. On to us too. All right. I'll start. We'll just go back and forth. Yeah. Okay. I'll start. Um. Be honest. Not, not with the context of us as a five sec. Is this a quiet, uh, I just ban and say nothing? I, I, you can say, you can say how you, you can say how you'd reply. Okay. I, I, okay. I genuinely, you guys are chatterers and I'm streaming. Yeah. Um, okay. Ready? What is this? Are they like together? You know why? You know why I did that? Because in a marathon context, there's going to be cattle coming in fresh beef. Yeah. And I don't care about them. Okay. Are they together? Okay. You know what? I'd be like, yeah, of course you're fucking it. Okay. But not a ban. Not a ban. I would say that. Okay. Not a ban. Okay. How many rounds for to win? 12 rounds. I like answering technical questions. That's wrong. Oh, 13. And then I'd be like, I got it wrong. I actually, I don't know. I disagree that you would answer and say, I like answering technical questions here. I think, I think you would say fucking look it up. Why are you asking me? I'm in the middle of a fucking game. I don't want to tell you how many. That one. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's a hard exercise. It's lock in on you. Lock in on you. Really lock in. And, and maybe let's for now for this experiment, let's ignore the marathon. Just green. This is just him solo queuing at home. Okay. Cause I think it's easier for you to tell me. I got another one. Um, are you going to go to the next streamer games? Yeah. what the fuck are you asking me for don't fucking just fucking leave me alone i'm playing counter-strike this is not for you this is not this is only for the schizophrenic people in chat that want to watch another schizophrenic guy get the fuck out it feels like he's saying it to me is that a ban no it's not i don't ban as much as i used to you guys don't fucking you listen to me you watch me listen to me i got another one okay i got another one um so slime has just uh taken a an aggressive swing on overpass monster and died doesn't really happen chatter chatter says chatter chatter says um you had two flashes i've a instant ban bro it's a fucking bed and then i say i had two flashes you listen to me you watch me you listen to me you listen to me you listen to me kill yourself that's what i say just easy simple okay i'm mad are you having fun i roll my eyes i don't say anything you don't read it no i read it but i don't acknowledge are you having fun if you say it twice i what the fuck you want from me what the fuck i'm wondering if you're having fun okay and then i ban you because because now i know it's a troll right so you guys don't understand let me explain i operate in this world where i'm not being trolled yeah because everything i take it in the faith maybe not the best faith but the faith that it is genuine unless it's super obvious and i think i have a good radar but my radar is obfuscated a lot of times because i'm like well they must be being serious they must be being serious not trying to make the little cow moo okay i got another one he likes this game all right oh my god i could i i've i've told i forgot who someone asked me like if you could if you could come back and you could like haunt anyone when you're dead who would it be i was like oh i'd haunt slime to chatter that like always just comes back i'd be a chatter that can always be in your chat i think i just know exactly what to say um okay you're playing counter-strike again reminder you're playing counter-strike and you are just in the middle of a round and you're in a game it's uh three to seven you're losing and chatter says this game should have volibear oh shit really what the fuck are you talking about you just said that because you think i would think that was cool uh you just you just lost around i love you man it's all right man oh that shit the fuck get the fuck out of here is that a band that has been of course it's a band i ban people who say i love you i don't like it it's weird um i got another uh so you you you just called an execute for your team because you're losing but you're honestly in like a kind of normal you're in a type of mood where you're willing to try to turn this game around so you start calming more and someone in chat says where's ludwig yeah you're in a type of mood where you're willing to try to turn this game around so you start uh that one i've gotten a lot in my life that one is it kind of just washes over me but i i say where's ludwig check this out and then i open up ludwig stream and then ban them in there because i know it hurts more i've done this a lot not a lot but enough a lot i go through my platforms i've been doing it really reverse i did it for my first time i reverse banned someone yeah yeah they were a slime viewer in my chat and you banned them in my chat that's why that streamer game yes oh you banned his chat and so i banned him in your chat oh my god and i reverse banned a reminder that you're human and you do spend your time doing things like this sometimes no it was on stream it was on stream um it was a stream in my own band farm segment it was da bingo okay would you ever do something like that off stream da bingo no no i would never touch on band forms i would love to hear that you did that once i would never i would never let them take my time i've been i've been reading comments a little more recently and uh i read one uh on the last episode and i i it just said like something i think i think no not something i remember what it said it said um nick comma either buddy or dude some sort of word like that dude comma what is with the hair something like that and i typed out an angry message really i typed out a whole little angry i think a short but sweet angry reply okay and i typed it out i read it to myself five times and i deleted it like i didn't delete them i didn't ever send it i just i just i just didn't send it's a great exercise it was good i got to say what i wanted to say to the guy without having to say it to the guy and make him important at all and then i just left yeah i we've talked about a million times i just have that piece in my brain that wants them to know that i don't like them because i because at the end of the day unless they're really being mean or something they they want you to like them they they want you to be like haha and i you also want them to like you i do but not vocally quietly i want quiet i want me quiet i want quiet from a distance appreciation of a joke yeah that's at the end of the day that's a laugh which we call that a laugh and so that's all i want i just want this all i want or like i remember when i was like um i i said something like i said the three words and the guy clocked it as a piece from a loiter squad episode like 15 years ago and i was like that's also what i do it for yeah it's too the knowers that's why like so at the end of spider-man um i i asked everybody i was like do you guys remember in x-men 3 when professor x got his head blown off and no one had seen that which is fine and i was like oh it's awesome and then aiden's girlfriend she watches a million movies which is also kind of unlikely giving her personality she's like oh my god i do remember that and i felt seen and that's why i say shit like that it's because i don't feel alone for a second in like the things i'm doing and i don't feel alone for a second and i don't feel alone for a second i've watched or whatever and that was very nice can i give you one more a chat message yeah is it all right to type here i'm scared i'm getting a band oh good one really good one what do i usually say to that that's a good one if you're scared to type in a twitch chat not gonna make it ngmi everyone's laughing at you everyone's laughing at you and they looked at your message because this is a giant discord call essentially we're laughing at you because you're scared because it's typing a chat message and you're scared of it and then i check ludwig's chat and see how many messages you know what the worst part is i check to see how many messages they have in ludwig's chat and it's not a lot i'm like oh man this doesn't matter to them but the 999s oh the 999 is like hitting a piñata i had to close i had to close fucking nick zone the other day i got so annoyed really yeah because someone came in and they were like well they're gonna see this because they watched the show but like uh they were like what's your what's nick's coffee order sometimes they speak to someone they speak about me as if i won't be here to read it to answer it too which i also don't like because i'm like this is why you're in nick zone to ask me a question so why would you ask everyone else a question about me maybe they came from ludwig zone maybe they came from ludwig zone and that's the norm yeah bro go say hi to them today that is a speculation make some days um and and i and i just i said something like i don't know why anyone would ever need to know this like why do you know what i order at the coffee shop yes um and uh this is like kind of funny which was like sorry i just wanted to know and i'm like oh you're 14 whatever um and then and then someone and then i feeling bad that i kind of scolded them publicly just answered the question anyway and i said this is your one invasive question um and then a different person was like wow it's the same answer you gave in nickball and i'm like it's the same question what do you mean what do you mean wow it's the same answer it's the same question this frustration is running through my mind all the time rather than some of the times or if i'm having a bad day or if i like dealt with it too much yeah it's always i have to break down and get there the marathons get me there yeah but if i'm just doing a six hour stream it's like i don't know what do they got it's funny i think about this sometimes for coffee like your life on on your job and especially on stream has to do a lot with wondering what what i say will look like if it ends up on scuba ryan and i think that's a really place to have to live no it's not even about whether that moment gets clipped because that moment doesn't get clipped i don't know about that moment i'm talking about moments in general sure sure sure but i think i more so think like what if someone just came and it's their first ever yard episode and then they tune in for the first ever time and what's their experience and because you come at all these people like they should have the context or at least build up the context of everything but there's always someone new yeah and that new person like might come in and it's a hostel and they're like whoa it's i see it as like a if you're talking about like chat i see it as a vibe and it's like a big party and you don't really know anybody yeah at least in the the size that my chat is allowed to be your front door like has like three guns pointed out of the mailbox slot it's a gun party and someone's like can i come in and you start shooting the fucking ground because can you come in because you open the door you scared open the fuck door because in a gun party you just come in because the guns regulate everything because everyone's got a gun my view on it is like they're they're most things asked in chat are googleable questions most of the time and when someone asks a googleable question i think it's because their desire to talk to you outweighs their genuine curiosity exactly for what they are wondering oh hold up and i don't respect that almost everything on this show is a googleable question yeah but we're talking about it together as like uh as guys who have known each other for 10 years what the most fuckable part of a smart house is you can but it's fun to talk about it with your friends and i think that's the difference i think that's what a chatter is hoping to do and i don't like that idea but if a chatter said like if a chatter said uh well for one if they said if someone came into my house and said what is the most fuckable part of a smart house i'd say best chat of the day what an interesting question let me try to answer it so bad example sure because it's not it's a google question but like not really i think the the real google questions are when people are like ai says the thermostat that's such a bad it is widely considered it is interesting to ask ai because ai would weirdly be an ai how i would want to fuck a house what what what would i want to be fucked um yeah wow due to their satisfying tactile click that wow i guess when the robots kill us all that's what they'll be fucking each other with this thermostat man but i just don't like when someone comes in the chat and it's just like um have you played have you have you played cod 4 and it's like just look it up like you you can find that out immediately for yourself this is not to say i think i often get kind of like accused of being unappreciative of like fans or whatever which i'm unappreciative of the ones that are annoying but i do think it's just i don't consider myself important or interesting enough to be asked benign questions and that's what this is all sourced by if i had an ego that allowed me to be like what did i eat today it's a great question i'd love to talk about it but i don't think it's a good question i'd love to talk about what i ate because i think i'm that important i think that's kind of pathetic and i think it's a disgusting person to be i don't think you're allowed to feel that way or at least enforce that feeling when you also are posting yourself because like posting the podcast yeah it means you think you're important enough for people to listen yeah that's my that's how i look and that's my eternal struggle because in my mind i'm like i just show up and i goof and then the goofing is this this independent silo of like making jokes and then i'm like i'm like i just show up and i goof and then the goofing is this this independent silo of like making jokes and i i try to i want it both ways you want it both ways and i can't have it but in my stream which is a place i like to curate because you can't have it i can yes the place i am most vocal about things i think are annoying is nick's own in the yard discord because discord is like the the it's essentially texting on my phone it's where i talk to all my friends and so when i when someone talks to me on discord it feels oddly personal like it feels like a place where i'm like you are truly disturbing the vibe of where i talk to friends and i'm like i'm not going to talk to and i almost exclusively when i scold them do it to set an example in nick's zone i don't do it because i'm at them necessarily it's like a this is the eighth time i've gotten this i don't want this anymore i'm going to tell this person so that everyone else sees and they go oh i didn't get punished i don't have to do that anymore these are problems that like the size of us kind of get to have because if like if you're like speed or something oh yeah you don't get the place that at all it's so interesting no we have to police it are you in slime zone yeah that's like the one place i check every day besides it's just like the one space that you know it's like a zone with your like people like you it's just like people who want to ask you particular questions or like maybe i share an interest with someone in the thing and so instead of going to like the gaming sub channel they'll just go to that one they're there every day uh that person likes like other people that are like daily daily nick zone yeah like oh my god it's a lot of the same people stepania yeah yeah i have i don't love it i don't love it but it is an interesting place to look at because again i guess in a vain way it's about me and when people are talking about you you want to you want to hear what they're saying well i have it's been years i have to dust it off just say hey lol they would make their day sorry just got home what's up this is also not to like i it's because like when we did bad melee and it was such a because it was just small thing but so many people from bad melee like i still talk to regularly periodically and they're like friends right this is different because it's not supposed to be that and it's not intended to be that can someone invite me to the yard podcast you're in it bro come on that's funny you're funny i believed it you got me but uh it's a tightrope and i think i i make sure that tightrope is fucking really taught every time someone oversteps even a tiny little bit because i'm like i would never do this i would never i would never dm even when i was in college or whatever i would never dm a content creator with a reel that i thought they would think is funny what did you at i did you're nasty everyone it's fucking oh my god it's on fire i think it's been years i think it's literally been years since everyone yo and they're spamming it you're such a bastard i like that and someone posted a plate full of poop and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh a plate full of poop yeah that's a poop plate you can't even get to it it's going too fast wait you gotta ban that guy you gotta do it let me do the poop yeah you can't you can't let that go or is it food that looks like poop is it curry i think it's actually just uh sausages that's fine that's fine that's good posting great post yeah if it's real poop i don't want poop in the discord but if it's food that looks like poop that's just that's footy they got super with his big titties that's the line but it's fine they probably think you want something yeah i try like you guys might not know this talking to the people listening everyone never mind there you go sorry wrong chat it's like i've worked a lot on not getting pissed off i think i'm actually way better than i used to be i give myself a little second i say you know what what's the funny angle in this it does this make for a funnier story down the line of like post apocrypha maybe and i and i'm way way more chill which is cool final ask what the fuck does post apocrypha mean post meaning posting like on a forum so it's like think about fartamore right fartamore immediately if i saw him in the chat i'd shoot him dead but the fact that he's kind of persisted like this roach for so many years gives him like apocrypha which is like uh story undocumented story lore about this weird man who has existed this whole time and i'm like well if you shoot everybody i wonder what his life is like it's probably really weird and if you shoot everybody who is annoying in the first rip you don't get guys like him and i think about that too yeah i do have a soft spot for the like kind of annoying but have always been here people yes history means a lot to me some say i shouldn't have banned metro gunan but i still stick by that one yeah it's okay you're not bringing him back um i think they've given up on the show oh post ban you lost metro gunan yeah there's a there's someone named gogurt peachy that's always in my chat and for years they were posting pokin tournament dx just that word just the name of that video game and i for some reason it just always went by it was like it always flew by and i never got mad and then i checked the logs and it's like 400 messages of this one thing but it was for so many years i was like welcome yeah like you did it right you made it through let's play the first time it should have been a ban on site the first couple times first like 10 20 maybe and so now what i'm realizing is maybe you let them fly and that's growth yeah i let most fly but i but you know i there's people well there's people who also do the the this work it's the moderator you pay tim i don't have any in bitcoin i paid him in bitcoin exclusively which is what he asked for that's what he wants and he i think he likes playing with speculative assets and and he and he goes through and i get comments sometimes and i see him and they go yeah i like ludwig but his fucking draconian ma is won't let me fucking speak in there but it's passed off i don't deal with the riffraff yeah you can't as the soldier with the knives and bullets are all raining down on him and sometimes he shoots innocents of course he does tim is more let me say this bro i don't know you probably knew this he's more malicious than me tim has a tim has evil blood yes and he has slaver's bones i i actually don't think there's a way to be a good policeman because i think it's this it's tim is basically a cop yeah yeah monster cops can i be the punisher kind of because i like play by my own rules you can be a vigilante yeah but the punisher was bad no the punisher is cool but he was also loki a cop but i'm saying the punisher well it's spoilers you're talking about them i'm talking about the it doesn't matter he's only in spider-man right new character well when the punisher made his debut this year peace peter i can't believe you just thought he was a guy named frank it's so awesome peter and frank that's frank guys are kind of funny he lives in a boat what is that uh yeah i i think i think you can't be a good car i think the power corrupts oh of course it does because you can make the problem go away really fast and you treat everyone like cattle i mean yeah it's outside okay so something that has gone on uh outside of our warehouse there has been a new structure built which is actually on this wall which is right next to us and the person that lives in this new structure these structures on this side of the street usually get taken down pretty quick i don't know why they have like a yeah like the cops come and they just like sweep the whole street but they don't like this particular side of the street they'll let the other ones rock with the porta potty and the grill and the cat gavin newsom legislation and yeah newsom newsom actually comes down with a machine gun and just like he fires on but they got really good at dodging yeah uh so it's mostly most agile homeless now live by natural process i've just ruined it super hot but it's located in this chat which is kind of cool it's like this jar of flies yeah so anyway this person who is in this new house loves playing awesome lasting music and we thought it was concrete walls yeah i'm like how is this even getting through so loud it's really loud yeah this is what i want the last time it was happening this is what i what i wanted to say was that youtube shorts joke about like it's like when the voices are in the very back of the youtube short because i couldn't hear you guys because all i could hear was that i was like freaking out a little bit because i was just like i can't podcast i thought it was zipper listening to music uh or playing music last episode but i also i have the the autism where if something noisy is going on i can't focus but that was happening to me and i'm like i said to myself in my head it's time to lock in and his raw ignored it it was a huge accomplishment i'm honestly extremely impressed because i couldn't for this whole episode can you have little voices in the background just the whole whole time we should have aiden that's his he has to record it wherever he is a 90 minute episode that is overlaid and then if you're able to split the audio you can hear each one but if you can't you hear neither you know how you do it is on youtube yeah the language and you can turn on the audio track oh yeah like the spiffing brit he made a video it's like a seven hour video and it was like this is a video with the most sides ever switch to klingon to find out more and you switch to klingon and he goes hey guys and he tells you about his he talks for seven hours no no he talks like five minutes in the klingon version but in the other one it has like regular audio i forget why he did split audio uh fedex does it as well so we all watch fedex every one of us and chaz cheers cheers guys that's our time that's our time it's our time it's our time your weekly wait i i get shit on for the hand you guys are all doing the hand i'm down let's do the hand oh you do if you open the palm you had your hand open yeah you know you open the palm you will appreciate you basketball is about to suck up into your hand we are live right now doing the marathon um right we're doing the cs marathon now we're probably way more it's like no we're happy still no no we're definitely started oh no it's thursday if you're coming we're miserable we're miserable come in and say be nice if it's wednesday it's audio we're probably still miserable but i want you to type a message in each one of our chats and be fucking nice to us i go to chat right now and say josh they're right just listen and then come back dude say it right now and then come back and edit your comment and and say how many chats were you banned in out of five uh yeah everyone has a stamp card i did i did a five out of five i did it it's like guys why are the the last day the chat messages are so much more annoying what happened all right see you later