Ep 262: Jerry Seinfeld

this is the worst part of the podcast world what's that it's just that you're you're you're set in a spot you're like you stay here it's like a dog right you sit you stay here yeah right in comedy we it's free it's about freedom you don't move a ton though do you move a lot yeah oh yeah i guess you do you told me to move more yeah yeah yeah it's boring watching someone stand there sure oh man i don't wait for him he's planted like a magnet on the ground you gotta walk yeah he doesn't walk it really it keeps it it does keep them awake i mean i didn't at the beginning when i first started playing theaters i didn't and then i realized why am i not using this right thing i gotta use it look at chris rock i mean that guy you never stopped yeah he's a stomper that's cardio he likes to march around yeah but that's why i hate zoom call remember do you ever do a zoom gig who am i talking to why the hell would you do he didn't have to compromise let's start with an introduction here oh okay so you know who's here i think people know gig no no people did him a lot of people did i know did him yeah i know he's a psycho i think did gaffigan do him too i've been doing it for a long time i bet he did yeah yeah but my point is you can't move you're stuck but we were so sick that we convinced ourself it wasn't that bad during that time yeah right i mean i knew it was bad but i was like that wasn't that bad well it's basically the crackhead digging at the bottom of the uh the pipe you know we're just trying to get some some resin some hit i was on the first show back you were the first comic on at gotham the first show back from covid yeah you were the first you went on that's right because it was like symbolic i think wow i don't remember that really no no no i didn't do a set that night no i just did it he did a thing for uh money for broadway and he had some bill to get money for people so i came in i remember i didn't take the mask off it was a bunch of people no judah still wearing a mask that's true well that's good that tells you and informs you of what you're gonna what you've got you know yeah it's like the trucks with the big balls hanging in the back you know okay i know who i'm dealing with here anti-semite yeah i i uh i have this classic card i i want to put bumper stickers on it but i don't want to be that guy why what kind of stickers well just funny bumper stickers people give me stuff bumper stickers yeah the show i want to put the podcast this is breaking this funny bumper are you really looking at bumper stickers i'm a big bumper sticker guy old ones old ones yeah they're cool but then i don't want to you know ruin the car ruin the bumper i just bought a 63 vw beetle okay that has uh nixon's the one bumper sticker see that's cool that is cool yeah i mean it's a real thing yeah it's a real old you know he was what would you get what is funny tell me what's funny no fat chicks uh you know something like that fun uh boob grass or ass nobody rides for free yeah i don't even think i know any bumper stickers well you're a manhattanite yeah yeah no my friends were big i lived on the highway in louisiana i was always on the highway oh so there they are so that's how you do it on this show you got a googler yes google bitch we call them we had this um i first experienced this at dreamworks in 2005 when i was making b movie and uh it was still kind of a thing and whatever we'd be talking about they'd have somebody googling it oh but he didn't have a screen he just kept turning it around and we called him swively googler sounds like a harry potter guy swively googler well now they turn the tip uh tip thing around you see in this i'm sure you got 20 minutes on the tip flip you know that at starbucks where they flip the screen yeah and it says 18 20 25 i saw one recently that was it was i think 25 50 75 come on 75 75 it was yeah it was it was insane we're in dubai come on yeah everything's tipped now everything's dead the service got worse anything any goddamn thing where they get in you cannot get them out yeah right they they got away with it and that's it and they're taking the money i was just reading on the way down i you watch red zone day right sometimes they so they put commercials on it yeah it's like 280 for this channel to watch football with no commercials okay and they say well you won't notice it but now they're all but that's it they're not going back nobody goes back they don't go back no i'll give you a couple more examples yeah chips and salsa at every mexican restaurant they put on the table now it's five bucks is it they'll never go back because you want the chips and salsa you pay the money and but do you have to order it you have to order it okay well that's different hit the table if you're asking for it then i don't mind paying but don't put it down and then sure sure yeah but it used to be free that's my point it's such a nice touch they ever go to a restaurant and they just have like random appetizers that you didn't order like uh there's an italian place downtown they just like the food's a little more expensive but then they bring out like cheese and oh that is nice that's a nice touch that's a it's a nice surprise yeah what was the other one you had i got a couple of these i've been right making a list i'm checking it twice the um the burger at a diner it used to come with you know a pickle lettuce and a tomato now that's deluxe now it's the deluxe burger so you have to order more or pay more oh boy things are tough i'm not done he got this from you we both watched you growing up and we're like it's okay to complain yes it is okay how about it's you know how about the hotel the check-in and now is it four four and then the checkout is at 11 so there are the windows getting smaller but the price is going up yeah you're not you're paying for what 17 hours yes 20 hours if you're lucky is he doing me is he trying to do he's been doing you for 15 years no i'm serious these are all things that have changed and they'll never go back but people must do a lot there must be a lot of comics doing the tip thing yeah oh yeah big time when the self-checkout was a thing that was every comic had that right right i gotta check yeah what's the best one that you heard burr at a good one yeah i don't work here you you you do it why am i doing your job it was a better it was like a better version of that i did that in the movie theater decades ago yes dropping the popcorn you did it at the oscars that's right i did i remember that was 2007 b movie same same era how rough is that crowd is that brutal it's you know it's a corporate right for uh inconvenient truth who's al gore wow remember that started the whole green sure sure that was the category when you're up at the oscars who are you looking for in the crowd they're like i hope i can get a laugh out of this person i i don't look yeah i'm listening i listen i don't look all right so i got a joke on with gervais did it or the golden globes are one of those i sent him a couple jokes yeah and one of my jokes they showed tom hanks and he goes it was about him being a pedophile that's why it wasn't far off but yeah that was that was a hit for me no yeah damn that's rough but i remember schumer did a roast once we were at that roast with her it was at the uh the hotel by here oh yeah gave her a line on the way and she did it and i just saw her look at me i was just like i'm sorry just nothing yeah well you tried i was given a line by uh nick de palo and you know when someone gives you a line it's a beautiful thing yeah especially when it works when it works and isn't it true that whenever you do the line there's a little bubble with their face in it yes in your head right yeah you see that person well this is the greatest line i've ever been given and it's a really good line but he should have the credit because he gave it to me he's told me you know the line i know the line the coffin and the eulogy the number one fear is speaking in front of me and i'm like oh my god number two is death which and i don't remember what i had i don't which does it does it hurt you does it sting a little that you didn't come up with it though no a little it was your premise though yeah but so he gave me you know that means if you're going to a funeral you'd rather be in the coffin than doing the eulogy it's a great line yeah it's a great that's great it's so it's like guys you ever with a bit you just over complicate things and you're like that was it i know the most simple thing is usually but isn't it amazing how the the audience tells you that yes isn't it amazing what they can communicate it's kind of like a dog you know dogs look at you and you can kind of form sentences from their face right right yeah yeah i think he wants to go out how you know he's just looking at you a certain way yeah audiences do the same thing they just make weird sounds right they just say yeah but that idea but different right or that idea but faster that's or not that idea we like the way you got into it but we don't like where it went right the the amount of information when especially i find what i love when you go on to try new stuff and it's a total mess yeah you know what i mean you can't remember it you're all over the place how often is that for you though because i feel like your stuff even when i see you work out it seems pretty polished no no most of the time i mean i have stuff at different everything's at a different level obviously but the first time sometimes it gets really messy but still they you come off and it's like someone just hands you a report right right in your head like here's what you need to fix here's what we liked i don't think people understand how much audiences write the act you know the act that you're seeing is what the last hundred crowds liked right that's what you're going to see tonight but why is it so hard for us to write down funny ideas funny jokes and then the audience goes no and i'm like how did i not predict this why is that such a hard well because you're dealing with translation because you're dealing with something that no one understands really no one really knows what's funny i mean we we can be pretty sure yeah that's about as good as it gets yeah i'm pretty sure that's why you know to write a lot of stuff i think like if you write like when larry and i did the show between the two of us so you got a you cut kind of a cross filter if you can get by both of us we thought okay that's probably got a chance yeah but just one person's not enough it really isn't and you could do it for what 50 years what are you at 50 years yeah it's still you think you know you still don't know no we used to bounce bits in coffee shops all the time when we were starting out was there a comic you did that with early on every every comic i know was there like a go-to guy was shanley one of them uh yeah gary loves to bounce i never met a comedian that didn't like to bounce stuff around i feel like not everyone does it anymore no everything's so splintered now everything's very i was watching sebastian's new special which is fantastic on hulu oh yeah it ain't right and i got upset because you know when you watch a comic you just see jokes so easily that they somehow missed and it's just you can't see everything yeah from the inside but so he has this great bit about uh a dinner and people say i'll venmo you the money yeah and he says well what if the guy dies i'm at the funeral and i gotta go up to the widow and go listen uh you know i'm sorry for your loss and i wanted to add but i don't want it to be my loss right it's a good laugh there and it's already shot and aired damn yeah maybe we can uh re-edit he could tell that at a corporate or something yeah i gotta call him later yeah it's a really funny show i like you know he's really um comfortable yeah i love a comedian you could tell you know what you could tell he's been working a lot i love that look yes you can see it right you can see a guy that's been working a lot or a woman or who's been laying off yeah there's no hiding it you know there's just uh it's the way your feet move on the floor right when you start moving them i'll try yeah well what i love about i'm gonna i'm gonna focus on that yeah right you have to really you have to actually did it we were just talking we just did a similar gig in reno at a casino and uh not bragging there's no similar gigs in reno they're all the same but we uh yeah i was moving a little more because it was kind of a very horizontal room so i kind of had to yeah and you're like oh this actually it doesn't feel that bad and i had to give a little more energy because it's a casino you just feel like you have to of course but it's a form of punctuation that you're that you're not using yeah that you should use yeah you should use everything you have because you don't have much yeah you know well you don't want to hump the stool let's slow down no just but don't you love how many different things the stool has been oh my god yeah and the uh mic stand yeah yeah let's do some favorites of that orny adams with the big cell phone remember that one yeah yeah leno used to do one with the uh the key to the men's room it's on the end of this ring and don't try and steal it oh that's great that's great and who used to do you're a good comedy historian somebody used to do might have been sinbad the weatherman in a storm and he got on the stool horizontally and did the weather report you know oh wow he was holding on to the mic stand like a paul that was great that's great that doesn't hit you just look like an idiot yeah you got to respect that risk yeah yeah yeah there's this comic nick vaderot and he would just go i remember like open mics he would go so big and i admired it so much because it'd be like four people in a room so when that when i bomb a joke you just bomb it it's whatever yeah but when he bombed a joke you like you're like oh that's rough right killed for four people you just you're like this is incredible it was incredible well that's the thing about the stool is we all we're not huge fans of prop comedy but you're allowed to use that yeah yeah it was already there and if you can find something that no one's done with it yeah yeah that's a great experience yeah because you're working within the rules you're not bringing up a prop you're right you're using one of the props right and anytime you can hit yourself in the head with the mic and you get that thump that kills yeah then you'll love bobby collins yeah i've never done it but it works i'm using the mic as a playstation now oh no a game boy okay the game boy controller for the titanic submersible ship what he actually had he actually there's an xbox control right yeah he had an xbox crazy but i i thought game boy was funnier yeah yeah game boy's a funnier word what was it was another oh i opened for jb smooth for a while and remember when the segway came out yeah he would do the mic stand segway and it would crush crush great with physicality it's tough it's tough what's tough i mean not everyone has it not everyone i mean i guess within your body you can figure it out but not everyone is it's not it's not going to play for everyone like sebastian not everyone can move like sebastian no no one you know it's but yeah marcella did a pretty funny sebastian did you see that oh of course i saw it it's so wonderful it went crazy viral you know what it reminded me of it reminded me of when um will ferrell and um sherry o'terry started doing the cheerleading i thought it was like a bubble of life that show you know that show goes through its iterations yep and that suddenly kind of was like a little defibrillation it was like i think the body might not be dead yeah you know yeah will ferrell just went so big it's it's yeah it's cool it's so different than you know yeah there are other kinds of stand-up i know this is so cool to see a guy will try to do stand-up in the early days did he couldn't do it yeah well it's a different animal it's a it's a beastly animal yeah yeah it's a blue-collar job it it is it is well you proved that well didn't greg kaneer try as well sure had to anybody that could talk yeah michael keaton but you find your thing i mean he's great in a lot of movies you know everyone's everyone's got their thing you know yeah not everyone but not everyone not everyone hardly anyone that's true that was that is true but didn't michael keaton do or he just do it for the movie he did it no he was good he was funny too yeah he used to have a bit about the gangsters the way gangsters were talking old movies yeah yeah yeah we'll do it that way say something like that i can't remember it yeah yeah that was the 70s but that's the thing is you know stand-up is so much work like a comic doesn't he he does yeah he looks like a comic there well he's in those eight that movie uh with henry winkler he's so funny in that movie yeah night shift oh yeah that broke him out yeah but no one wants to stick with stand-up that's the thing you got to need it even stand-ups don't want to stick with it exactly why exactly i think because it's just so much failure you're just going against the waves over and over and i think eventually people go i can't do that again yes but it's it's it's a it's a brutal physical challenge yeah physical challenge weekly yes you know i remember when i was doing the series that getting towards the end and you're sitting there in that high director's chair and someone came up to me and said what kind of water would you like and i just thought i i gotta get out yeah i'm gonna turn into job of the hut you know yeah it's it's what i like about what i love about i love everything about stand-up but i love that it um it it hardens you mentally physically emotionally you're just getting beat up yeah and i i don't know if that's a a little uh tinge of masochism a little bit but it's like baseball too you know if you want to can you believe i mean you think about i don't did you watch the world series oh yeah i saw the last game okay eiser uh kiner falafel the lead off of third yeah two inches from the world championship two inches away and he was a foot his lead was so short you know this has been done to death on the no the home the picture at home plate is like and he's flying he didn't have to slide so when and i know a guy who's a sports psychologist i said um when does he ever get that at when will he get that out of his mind yeah athlete you have to be able to do that right and he said he needs trauma therapy I mean, wouldn't you if you were, you know, those field goals, Super Bowl missing field goals, Buffalo. Bill Buckner? Bill Buckner. Sure, sure. Larry did a funny bit with him. I saw that. That was great that he got to poke fun at it. Wait, so that missed? Or is that something else? That's just a weird angle. Oh, okay. But that is the play. Whoa. He's already crossing the plate there. Can you back that up a little? We should start naming that move after his last. What's the last name again? Tyner Falefa. Yeah, you pulled a Falefa every time you missed the plate. But there it is on the bottom one there. It's so close. That's not excruciating. No, now we're going to make it worse. If he's watching this, he's going to kill himself now. Yeah. Well, we've had that where you bomb and you're in the shower going, why the fuck did I say that? It's not the same. They do kill themselves. Hideki Irabu from the Yankees commits suicide. You know, it's like that pressure. No, he didn't. He did. Uh-oh. Over a play? No, not over a play. Over, I think, just the career. No, A-Rod slept with his girl. Irabu. Pull it up. I don't know how to picture it. Anaheim Angels, Donnie, who blew 86. Wahlberg. Blew the save. Donnie something. Most. He took his life. Hideki Irabu. 42. Apparent suicide. Had alcohol and prescription medication. Come on, we can't blame that on a play. Just a weekend in Reno. Come on. A-Rod's safe. Right. A similar gig in Reno. Yeah, I love how much you. I think there's. I've heard you compare stand-up to baseball, too, like the starting lineup. Right. You bump a player out. Right. You have your starters. You have you guys trying to get into the lineup. And what's weird about baseball that I've never understood, and I guess it's similar in stand-up, although stand-up is very reliable. Don't you? Fine. A good show will follow a bad show. Oh, yeah. When you do a bad set, you can almost guarantee the next one's gonna. You're gonna. Because I think it's like a fear thing. It's like, have I lost it? Yes. Am I done? Am I not good? It snaps you back on your feet. Yeah. Sucks to end on the bad one that night. If you do a couple. Yeah. Yeah, I did two last night. The second one was horrible. First one was great. Same material. I was just. I wasn't in it. I was off. And I think I was too cocky from the first one. Went down to the second club. There it is. Died. That's the fascinating pendulum swing of how it corrects you. Yes. That's what I was trying to say. It just kind of emotionally keeps you. It's like the bumpers in a bowling alley. Right. You can't go too far. It's gonna knock you back the other way. Yeah. That's true. That's why you gotta tape two with the special. Oh, at least. At least. I did three this time. I taped four, and I wasn't happy with any of them. I'm doing two this time, and I'm like, I wonder if it's a mistake. The last one was four, too. I don't know. I would do four. I just did three. We got on the third, yeah. No, three is good. Three was good, but I'm glad I did three. Now, do you guys. I hear about these guys that they do these specials, and they. What? You know what I'm gonna say? You don't know what I'm gonna say. Every ten minutes? No. Every two years? What? Wait, what? Do a special every two years? I wasn't. I was at the third word of the sentence. I thought I had it. It's a peeve. Name that tune. Do you guys not sit and edit every line with the editor? I do. It depends. Yeah, usually, but. It depends. On what? If you have a lunch plan? Well, I say. I know which show is the show, usually, and I'm like, that's mostly there. Okay. If I don't like a line, then I just sub it out. I mean, I know the jokes well enough that I don't. Yeah. I have sat with them, but the last one I didn't, actually. Really? Yeah. Well, I'm too nervous. Yeah, me too. I'm a control freak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a friend, not Joe List, who was like, ah, it went well. You got it. And he's miserable with it. He hates it. Really? Yeah. He's like, I should have sat in there. I talked to a comedian the other day, no names, who was not happy with the special. And it's not someone I know that well, but asked me if I would look at it and what I thought. And I said, do you really want to do this? Like, for real? Oh, God. And the person said yes. And I watched it. And I said, it's good, but it's not as good as you are. Oh, OK. And I don't, you know, we, Mark and I have discussed this endlessly, this, you know, the undercooked chicken, you know. There's also an overcooked chicken, though, too. I think there's also been, you can also overcook a chicken, too. Yeah, you could. You could. But undercooked is definitely worse. Yeah. But there's a point of the tour where I'm just like, I'm sick of these jokes. Really? I think, I'm at the point where I'm happy I'm going to tape soon, because I just think I need to move on. You just got to rip the Band-Aid or something. It's so impressive that your whole generation has, that's just the protocol. That's what you're going to do to survive, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's good, but you mentioned it to me, you're a cripple for a year and a half after it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It sucks. Yeah, but it's making the whole. It's making the whole thing work. Yeah, and it is good. I mean, look, you're in a little postpartum funk afterwards where you're just like, what the hell, what is this that I'm doing on stage? Oh, yeah. And you're trying, you need at least 10 to at least. At least. To throw at the wall. So you're like, okay, well, I'm at the cellar, I'm not just wasting these people's time. Yes. I need something to fall back on. Right. And they look up at you like, why is this guy here? This guy sucks. You're like, no, no, I have good stuff, but I'm trying not to go back to it. Because you're going on after a killer. Yeah. Some young killer who's just hammering it, and you're just like. Look, I saw Louis do it, and Louis was just. Some of those sets, he was just taking. He was dying. An L, and I was. I admired it, man. He hung in there, and now he's got great stuff. But it's funny when you see a guy come through, and you're like, wow, this is painful. You're watching someone you know is great. Well, yeah. We used to watch Pryor do that in the 70s. Wow. And he was the only one doing it. Why do you think he was the only one who did it that way? Nobody else had the guts. Whoa. Dropped their whole. Nobody else wanted it. But you were turning it over. No, not like that. He would. I don't know how many. But how many Carson sets did you do? How many did I do? I don't know, 25, 30? That's a ton of material. But he was writing material, but it's not going up on stage with nothing. Right. You're losing your best six or ten. Right. That's not so bad. Losing your best hour. Yeah. That's different. And Pryor would go up and bomb. What did people say when he was doing that? The comedians would admire it. Yeah. You know. And he would come every night. Wow. And do it. And, of course, we would just sit and watch. You know, he was legendary even then. Did you interact with him at all? A little bit. Not much. A little free base? Yeah, just a little. I caught fire, too. I didn't like it. Well, Louis would. I had a bad bomb, and Louis goes, you're taking this too personally. I was like, well, it sucks. I feel bad. I hate myself. And he's like, you're working on the jokes. It's a scientific process. Yeah. You don't, like, do a math or a science project and go, oh, it didn't work. I suck. Like, you try another thing, and you keep doing experiments. Yeah, but that emotional drive is also an ingredient. Yes. Being angry, being frustrated. Those aren't bad things. Okay. But also, you, I heard you and Rock once say, and I agree with you on this, where you were arguing, is it, are they there for you or the material? Yes. And you said the material, and he said you. Yeah. And it's like, well, they're rejecting the material. They're not rejecting you. Same thing. Same thing, but. If you're a professional. Yeah. But they know you. They go, this guy stinks. They go, Jerry had an off night, or Rock had an off night. Tell me which is worse, a guy you don't know that stinks, or a guy you do know that stinks. It's the same thing. Yeah, but they've seen you kill. I know, but they, wow, he lost it. I think that's worse. It's worse. That's true. That sucks. He used to be funny. Oh, what's worse than that? That's terrible. What, are you reading my tweets? Oh, okay. All right, well, that's true, but I feel like with Rock, you go, oh, man, we watched Rock work out new stuff. It was so cool. Yeah, audiences are so sophisticated now that they understand that. That's true. Now, that's a blessing and a curse, too, because a lot of people go, I've heard this already. Where's the new stuff? Well, that's not very sophisticated. Oh, okay. I remember they wrote that about Louis sometime in the paper. He was getting ready to shoot a thing, and the guy writes, I saw the show a month ago. It's essentially the same thing. The same show. Yeah, we don't change over monthly an hour. That guy should be fired for that. You don't know stand-up. Stop reviewing it. That's what you really think about when you read any article. You're like, well, if you know this little about stand-up, then what do you know about anything you cover? I know. This is so obvious. Of course you don't. I mean, it's like writing that about a Broadway show. Yeah, they don't tweak the dialogue. Right, right. This is the show. This is the show. Yeah, but you have to accept that there is an aura of mystery about it that will always be, even to us. Yeah. And that's part of it. I personally think that you should just believe what you believe to be true. However you think. You know what I mean? We have these conversations. If they see something that you've done before, are they disappointed? And I go, not if it's a good bit. And comedians could argue that. And it's somewhat generational. To me, if I'm going to see somebody that I really like, I'm coming once. I'm not going to go see somebody, no matter how much I like them, four times in my life. No, no. Would you go to any show four times? If you're a deadhead, you follow them. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but not for this. I mean, it is weird. I also think with that whole, you know, seeming in the moment, there's people like George Carlin who you're like, this is clearly a show. And then there's Patrice O'Neill who you're like, this feels very conversational. Maybe this is off the cuff. There was this illusion with a guy, with Patrice. Right. But I don't think every comic cares about that. I don't think Carlin cared about that. He would come out and do it. You're like, yeah, this is, even at the end when he'd come out and do like, almost like poetry. Yeah, right. This is clearly a thing he's doing, you know? Yeah, that was one of the few things I didn't like about Carlin. I, you know, I'm a huge fan. I know all his stuff. But I thought he got a little self-indulgent. And he was like, this is for me, not you. And you're like, nah, nah, nah, nah. They're still here. You need them to be here. It's for them a little. I don't like that attitude. It's all for them. Yeah. I agree with you. I didn't like it either. But whatever, you know. The last special was good. The last special was really good, I thought. You know, he's got some of the best stuff. And I see a lot of his stuff being copied all day long. But. In both sides, politically. Acting like he's talking. Yeah, that's awesome. Which is kind of an incredible skill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, wow, everyone felt heard by social commentary? Right. How many comics can achieve that? Yeah. I know. Yeah. I know. Because he was very, like, pro-abortion. But he was also like, stop telling me what I can't say, you pussy. The pussification of America. I'm going to say this and that. And so, yeah, he was hitting everything. Yeah. Yeah, he was. I saw him once, live. And boy, did he flip out on the crowd. Really? Yeah. You saw him in Mississippi, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw him in a casino in Mississippi. That's all I could afford. Oh, man. The poor guy. Imagine what he'd be today if you could just change the, if we could crack the time tunnel, you know. Because he was very frustrated. Because in his day, which was also my day, if you're just a comic, you kind of didn't make it. Right. You know? And now, there's no such thing as that. No. If you're a successful comic, you're as big as anybody. He wanted to act, right? I mean, that was his thing. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Well, Danny Kaye was his hero, apparently. Okay. You're not Danny Kaye. No. But he wanted to be. You got to be who you, yeah. Those dumb limericks. You got this gift. Yeah. You got this gift. But it wasn't that big a deal. It was, it was, it was a little, you were kind of an upscale carny. Right. You know? Well, that's what I'm saying. Those people, he needed it. A lot of these guys who quit, they don't need it. They don't need it. Alan did it till he dropped dead. So did Rickles and Rodney. They needed stand-up. Right. Right. What was that like when you did the Rodney comedian special? That looked pretty cool. Oh, that was big. Well, it was great. I mean, I didn't think it was anything at the time. I just, they said, you want to be on this special? It's a bunch of comics. So, you know, okay. HBO. Yeah, it was pretty, it was, it was a thing. But the fun thing was then Rodney and I became friends after that. He loved young guys. Yeah. He loved them. And. You were trying so hard to slip in a Kevin Spacey joke there. I was looking at a Kevin Spacey joke there. I held my tongue. Boy, you know me well. You need the Kill Tony sunglasses. I can't do it without the sunglasses. Those are my powers. I don't want to really be here, sunglasses. Was Rodney, what was he like to hang out with? He was fantastic. He was so deep and thoughtful and loved comedy, loved stand-up. But he could go off on you, too. You know? Like one time I remember, you know, I lived in New York and he was in L.A. And he was having a birthday party and I left him a message or I can't, I'm in New York. I can't, I can't be there. And he got very upset, you know, and left me this very upset message. Whoa. Angry Rodney. Yeah. Oh, no. All the substances. Who knows who was really talking there? The guy gets no respect. But I talked to him. I talked to Carlin like two weeks before he passed. Oh, yeah? Yeah. He had just done this special. Yes. And I called him to tell him how great it was. It was a great one, that last one. Yeah. It was great. And then the Times, when he passed, the Times asked me to write the obit in the opinion page. And I did. It was really exciting. I was so excited to be asked to do that. Sure. And I did a thing about how so many comedians would say, well, Carlin did that already. Yeah. And then I thought, when I get to my end and you're spiraling through the cosmos to whatever the next reality is, I'll realize Carlin already did it. I remember a funny thing on the news when he died. I was watching the news and you were like, 71? Who dies at 71? That was your angle. And I remember thinking that was funny. I said that? Yeah, yeah. I'm 71 now. Whoa. You're very healthy for a comedian. Yeah. I mean, it's impressive. Well, you're not much of a booze bag. It can be done. You don't have anything to do all day. True. That's true. Except for this. Yeah. Thanks for doing it. You guys do this how often? Once a week. Not bad. Not bad. And did you think this, when you started this, did you think this is a thing? No. We started during COVID and we were on Zoom having a cocktail on the other end because we were just bored and it was an excuse to catch up. Yeah. And we recorded it and then some people liked it. So what is it now? What is the, give me the basics of what this is. It's a TV show, basically. This will get more views than Fallon. Wow. Yeah. And you make any money doing this? Yeah. But it's mostly for the tickets. You sell the tickets. Good way to plug the gigs. Right. This will sell your beacon. He'll sell the beacon. I think we'll make it. He'll do all right. Well, you say that it's all been done with Carlin. We watch Seinfeld all the time and it's amazing where I'm like, oh, it's like a Beatles thing where you're just like, how many fucking premises did they take? I know. They got so much where I'm like, we can't. We can't touch this. We can't. I mean, I think all the time, even to the, when you're doing the tip jar, we're talking about the tips earlier. George trying to make sure they see so many little things. I went on a date with a girl the other night who was a bad laugher. I'm like, that's the menage a trois episode. You know, so much has been done. That's true. My wife has man hands. Sebastian doing Jeff Bezos's laugh is really funny. You ever see him do that? Pull that up. It's so funny. Man. Do you discover new comedians? Is it usually through Instagram or YouTube? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. That's the way to do it now. The internet works. Yeah. He does a whole bit about his transformation. Oh, that's funny. It's very funny. But the laugh, it's pretty brutal. I don't think I've ever heard. It destroys him. Bezos laugh. I wouldn't even know. He's just got a laugh of a guy who becomes a billionaire on the internet. Oh, okay. You know. Yeah. I always think that. The way God works is like, he'll give you, nobody gets a straight flush. Right? There's going to be some bad cards in there, you know, like. Right. Like LeBron is balding. Yeah. Like, all right. We got, he's human. Jordan's got a gambling problem. Yes. Yeah, right. He can't have it all. Right. Nobody gets the whole five cards. 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I used to call him Bezos, which was fun air. I don't know what I referred to him as, special Bezos or Bezo. I remember saying, this Bezos is amazing. He didn't even know who I was talking to. He was taking people around the office. He was laughing, you know, at this laugh he had. He's like a bald, ripped, shaved, he's hip now. So I just thought the difference in like when someone first starts out and then $400 billion later, aesthetically, I thought it was a funny, you know, I'm basically kind of ripping the guy to shreds. Bezos 30. It's like his name wrong. It's funny. It's funny already. Yeah. Somebody, one of the B-movie guys says, let's do another B-movie and the head of the hive will be Jeff Bezos. Oh, perfect. Get Cardi B in there. Yeah, you can do a whole thing. I'm jealous of these guys. You have a little more of this now. I feel like when you started, you were pretty front and center, but these guys who are free up there, they can move and do, I don't know if I could do the movements. Of course you can. I don't, but I'm scared. I'm too insecure. We're all scared all the time. That's the thing. It's a gig. I just feel safe with my. What did Hemingway say? It's not, courage isn't not being scared. It's doing it anyway. Sure, sure. All right. Just start moving. What's, what's scared? Does anything scare you about performing now or nothing? Bombing? No. I mean, I still get buzzed, you know, before you go on. Yeah. And you think, I don't know. This Portugal thing, when if this, they want to do Portugal, that made me go, Portugal? I got a little scared. Oh, okay. But having talked with him about all the places he did, you know, how crazy that sounds to someone born in the fifties? I did a gig in Berlin. Berlin? Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. Dude, it's basically Williamsburg. But yeah, I mean, everywhere is, they, they want American comedy. Where the, where the. Have you gone to Asia? Have you done Asia? I did, uh, China. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I did Singapore. How was that? It was great. Yeah. Great. That's what I mean. I mean, everywhere, they know what they're in for. Right. Right. They know what they're showing up to. Yeah. Yeah. Those days when they didn't sucked. That's true. When you're on stage and they're like, what the hell is this? And you're like, I guess YouTube, when we started, YouTube wasn't a big thing. No, no. So they didn't really have good clips of us. Yeah. To promote the weekend. We were just there and they're going to see comedy. Right. When, you did Stockholm, right? I just did that. I did it last time. Do they still clap in unison there? Yes. They did it in Milan too. Like at the end of a run, it's almost like an old school late night set where everyone just applauds and you're like, all right. This is weird. Amsterdam's like that. When I was in Amsterdam, they were like, we had three comics who were very funny, very famous. And they, all three of them flipped out on the crowd. I know all three because they did the same thing. But I knew what I was in for because I played there before. But even then I was like, God, they just don't laugh. They don't laugh. They go. Have you ever flipped on a crowd? I never heard of this. Only the hecklers. Hecklers. Oh, hecklers. That's not the crowd. You get annoyed when they're bad. I get annoyed, but I try to keep it together. I don't go full Michael Richards. But, you know, I'll, I'll, you know, get a heckler. I go red. You lose it. Hecklers are fine. Yeah. But I could never get it. It's just like, I feel like a guy picking a lock. You know? Right. It's like, well, that's not the right one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to stay cool. I mean, you lose the fight if you go red. Completely. Yeah. Oh, man. I did a joke last night. I'm working on this new bit about casinos. And I'm like, why do all the games have to be numerical? How about pick a color? And a lady goes, you can do that with roulette. And I was like, ah, well, you just killed my whole joke. And that killed. That killed. It's like her popping a hole in my whole bubble. Right. Crushed. So I got to go back to the lab. But boy, that was painful. Yeah. You spent a whole day on it. You're like, that's just wrong. Yes. I did. I had a whole sheet. And she ruined everything with one comment. So that's stand up. He had a whole thing about a friend and about, he didn't know what Slim Pickens was. He thought it was. And I was like, oh, it was a person. Yeah. It was a person named Slim. I killed my whole bit. I was like, oh, that was a, I was like, he thought it was a person. I was like, wait, it was a person. Oh, I didn't know that either. Yeah. So I was like. Damn. That's a great name. Slim Pickens. I like that. Jazz, blues. It was. An actor? Peter Sellers. Dr. Strangelove. Dr. Strangelove. Yeah. He rides the atom bomb down. Oh. With his cowboy hat. Oh, wow. Also, Blazing Saddles. Oh, shit. Maybe. I think. Yeah. How about that? Yeah, there he is on the right. Brian Hamilton. Oh, yeah. I was telling you. Look at that. On the road, you see a lot of movies. That's like part of your routine. One. One? Yeah. Yeah, it's part of my whole system. I love that. Yeah. It's nice. Any movie, a good movie's good, and a bad movie's just as fun. Right. You know, I saw Frankenstein on Netflix. I just watched it, too. Which is very good. But I thought, boy, watching this with some comics would have been so great. Oh, yeah. I had a ball watching that. Because it's just trying so hard to be so, you know, gothic and eternal. Yes, dramatic and sincere. Yeah. Yeah, my joke was, A, the woman kind of fell for him, the girl in it. And I was like, a woman will let anything slide as long as you're tall. Because the guy's like 6'9", or whatever, and she's like, he's all torn up and mutilated, but she's like, he's beautiful. There's something about him. Like, he's just tall. Shut up. I thought, this looks like how the Blue Man Group got started. Did you see Roof Man, this new one? No. It's great. Roof Man? Yeah, it's a true story. It's Channing Tatum and Kirsten Dunst. It's so good. Oh, yeah. I want to see this. I loved it. Yeah, crazy premise. I looked it up after you told me about it. It's a crazy story. How about that? See, movies are great. They got a lot of great movies now, but nobody's going to see them. They're all losing money. And are they ever going to go? Why would you go? Well, you go, right? Why would you go? If you have nothing in the world to do. But don't you love the movie theater experience? Yes. But I bet you have a good movie set up at home. No, just a big TV. Yeah. Interesting. But if they're gone, we're going to miss them. It's like your grandma. You know what's crazy? You want to say M Radio? A little bit. All right. All right. Maybe BMW, maybe. That's all I got. It's an old car. Yeah. All right. Let's look at FM. What are these questions that I tried to answer? What is that about? We only go to that if it's really bad. Oh, if you run out of gas. Yeah, yeah. All right. But people like the peeves. We're still going good. People like the peeves, though, I think. We could do a peeve. Well, that's our whole career. I mean. That's true. That's why we've done. I would say pet peeve. That phrase would be the most annoying thing I could think of. I don't know where it even comes from. I know. I think it was a character in Blazing Saddles. Pet peeve. Yeah, I don't know. But we think a new one pops up every two days. Yeah. So we just started doing it. Yeah, and wrecks. People like the wrecks, too. So, I mean, I'm sure you have. You see a ton of movies. Yeah. So I figure Jerry's going to have good movie wrecks. I thought the ending of Frankenstein was weak. Just the pushing the boat out. I was like, this is it? It was stuck. I know, but. And he's pushed it out, and now it's free. I guess it's a metaphor. He's so strong, too. Yeah, exactly. What's like an all-time movie, Jerry Wreck? Like, what's a movie? All-time? Yeah, any all-time movie. That's easy. I mean, The Graduate. Oh. Oh, nice. Mike Nichols. That's a great one. Every frame. And you could watch it as a comedy or. as a drama there's so many unbelievably funny things yeah and you know she was 39 how great is that there's old there's old bag 39 and he was 27 i think and gene hackman was originally mr robinson whoa he got fired he was like he wasn't he was freaking out he's like i'm gonna get fired doesn't happen like no i'm gonna get fired and then gene hackman got fired whoa well murray hamilton to me yeah mario joiner and i have like a movie language it's mostly uh glengarry glenn ross yep uh jerky boys and just anything that's close to any of those lines yeah but uh and um murray hamilton when he plays the mayor in jaws uh-huh thank you mr quint we will take it under advisement but murray hamilton with dustin hoppin unwrapping the cigar how old are you now oh yes the best scene in graduate or my favorite scene is at the end when they run out of the church yeah he steals her from the guy they're gonna live the rest of their lives together on the bus they're all excited yeah then they look at each other and go ah now what okay and that's marriage here's the story on that take okay um mike nichols the end of the scene was they were supposed to look at each other and smile and that was supposed to be it but he didn't like that so he just kept rolling ah knowing that they would eventually come down come down and that would be a better ending way better yeah that's life yeah yeah wow there's that look is so great and the alfa romeo is so amazing dustin hopper spider doesn't happen 60s and 70s that run is insane insane so many good movies yeah yeah like even someone the cowboy oh my god yeah uh look here's a interesting bit about uh lost in america the great albert brooks film is that the the rv yeah that's the rv um when she loses the money in the casino which i played it uh for my daughter because one of my favorite movies i wanted to show her all my favorite movies and she said it's pretty sad after she loses the money and they knew that and uh i talked to david geffen about this they they said we gotta we need a funny scene here in the back half of this movie where it's dying and so it was like six months after they had made it they came up with the um gary marshall the desert in his heart scene and reshot it and plugged it in so they had a funny scene in the back half of the movie wow you need a button yeah because it was deadly after she loses the money right do they focus test or do you think they just watched it in a room probably just watched it damn yeah he's a genius uh he doesn't i feel like he doesn't get his due oh yes he does you think so oh he's idolized i hope so oh he's the greatest yeah the documentary might mean like super young people may not know because yeah a lot of people don't know about it but i think it's like super young people may not know because yeah a lot of people don't know about it but i think it's because yeah a lot of people don't know about it but i think it's yeah a lot of it's from like 20 30 years ago but it is all great it all still holds up all great defending your life is incredible incredible yeah rip torn in that movie oh yeah yeah and his his uh carsons are great he does like a he'll do like a stand-up segment now again we just want to get into this bring it on okay i don't know what we talked about the the physical challenge of comedy yes which i don't think people think about um if i think about some of the really funny people funniest that i've ever seen uh michael richards or uh sid caesar i've heard a lot of people talk about these guys like crazy strong guys yes strong and everybody's pretty strong when they're young and then one of the things that will destroy your comedy is when you don't have any physical strength it's because there's an energy comedy is comedy is a concentration of energy on a point you know it's like a dense moment of energy a punch line is like a punch it's like throwing a punch i think it takes energy to do it so i think what happens to comedy a lot of comedy people as they age they just don't physically have the the juice you know yeah i think you were right not to bring this up why no i'm just kidding but uh but i mean you're right you don't see like jim carrey's not making stuff right now you know look at his physical it's crazy one of the best when he was young incredible incredible yeah jerry lewis yeah similar yeah yeah yeah that's just a thing of comedy that i've noticed over the years of don't don't let yourself become a mess so it gets harder it's harder anyway yeah as you get older you just run out of gas as a human being your generation seemed pretty unhealthy i mean yeah pretty known for like coke in the clubs and yeah yeah that claimed 90 percent wow of the uh of the generation on both sides of me drugs yeah and you never uh wanted to dabble yeah not curious no about what coke it looks like a good time i've never done it either but we've never done it i probably will at your age um and i'll see you next time adderall nothing blue chew what what what is what what is where is your where are you suffering from lack of stimulation wow i just it's uh do you want to have a good time you want the party to go to an 11 time what do you like drinking not really oh okay i mean a glass of wine with an italian meal very nice but i mean i i don't understand that you don't you're not getting enough with what we do right it's so challenging it's so hell-raising night after night up and down you know but that's my you're proving my point yeah you're you're up and down i don't need any more stimulation i can barely handle what i'm getting well that's a gift this is his skill he's irritated in an optimistic way right yes that fuels you that is a great comedy challenge to give yourself do a bit about how much you love something and make it funny oh i've done a couple of those and that's really fun what do you love that's funny coffee i have a whole thing about how much i love coffee that's interesting understands the brutality and i had a whole pop-tart bit and that was the first time i i tried to do what i said i wonder if i could do a bit that's not negative in any way right it's just positive about how much you love something wow and it's a you know it's really flipping the uh the the the universe a little bit yeah african's got some of those yeah yeah hot pocket a lot of food stuff yeah yeah yeah that's true bacon he's got a whole bacon chunk is great yeah the pop-tart bit when you said the box oh it has more nutrition than the i was like how did he think of that because i was like how's he gonna wrap this thing up and that was kind of the big uh ribbon on it i can't even remember that bit oh i remember that and the one the golf bit those really stick in my head go out yeah that that's a guy who stared at a piece of paper for three hours yeah yeah because you're like i'm out of idea wait g oh that's a good idea i'm out of idea i'm out of idea i'm out of idea that that's a real like stuck in a in a prison cell that is is that that you want to talk about coke i mean when i saw that that's way worse for you those letters i don't know which i don't know whether i got leave family or get out leave family but when i saw that i had to i had to leave the house and just walk out into the air and go oh my god yeah and that kills yeah it's fun that was a big bit yeah i've had like two of those in my life and i hope i hope you have more the birth of my child nothing on those moments nothing on those those go out leave family moments that's that's really where i feel good about myself what i don't understand i'm saying my kid nothing on that love wise do you understand what he's saying i'm saying the birth of my child has got nothing on writing that big bit oh right yeah right do you have any hints on the birth oh i got yeah i got a big baby chunk oh good for you yeah but 15 minutes on it yeah i would hope that your kid is more happy it gives you more happiness than your pedo drinking junk you know that's my bread and butter that's your bread and butter what i want to know this too because you kind of settled down later in life you know when did you know it was time to settle down and how did how did you know um the boredom the boredom of the routine of what you're doing and you just go i i need i need another world i can't live in this world anymore and i and i think i mean we were talking about people that can't hang with stand-up beyond a certain point but that's that's more uh you get kicked out but uh that's not a good analogy but um i i said to tom papa i said you know he got married he wasn't gonna have kids i said you're you're in the parking lot at disneyland sitting in the car right there's a there's an the idea that sex only works on that side of the fun side that there's not another side to it right there's a whole other side to it whole other universe yeah that's true yeah and you told me stop watching porn and that helps the sex i did yeah well i was watching it at the coffee shop but uh i was trying to converse with you i guess it was right at the end mark i'm over here but yeah that does uh you know revamp a little bit right yeah okay good for you um i'll tell you an embarrassing thing here's this is Completely humiliating. All right. We went on a safari in Africa, which I did not want to go at all. I really, really was objecting to it. But you have to go. If you can afford it, you are forced to go. Honeymoon. Yeah. And I had a good time. Mm-hmm. And I got nothing. I don't have anything. Same. Same. I was like, I'm going to get a bit out of this, and I got nothing. My wife is saying to me, oh, you're going to have so much on this. It's so embarrassing. That's also when you never get a bit, though. I know. When someone tells you you're going to leave with so much material, you're like, the pressure's on. It's like when you're on a date, and they're like, don't. You better not do a joke about me. I'm like, I won't. Yeah, right. There's nothing here. I always say, I wish it was that easy. I know. But safari. I kept thinking of Chris Rock's bit, where he's on a safari, then he realized there was a white family behind hunting him. Oh, yeah. That's funny. I was like, I'll never top that. There's a lot of good ones. Yeah. I actually was so desperate, I actually was thinking, I wonder if there's a bit in not having a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're driven by just jokes, which is, I think it's, not everyone, there's a reason so many people, I think, stop doing this, is because they didn't love, you clearly love jokes. Yeah, I love them. Yeah. You're driven by the next joke. Yeah, yeah. And I think a lot of people who are maybe great at this and just walked away, I mean, Steve Martin was great at this, Eddie Murphy, but like, maybe they didn't have the same love for jokes, you know? Yeah. Or maybe it's just the work, I don't, what do you think it is? I think it's an interesting theory. And I, there are the. Well, there are those guys, there's three of them sitting here that just, jokes are, they're like, they're like magic tricks that you don't really, there's, know how the trick works yourself. Yeah. But you like to watch it work. Yes. You know, and you can't believe it works. And we're surprised mid-set sometimes there's something that got a laugh. There's no magician who's like, oh shit, that's a trick. That's true, yeah. Like, we fall into bits sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not all so frustrating because you're like, why didn't I think of that? But I'll take it. Or how about when, yeah, they tell you it's funny and you don't know what's funny about it. I mean. Yeah. I have jokes I don't get. Me too. Me too. I don't get half your stuff. No, I totally get it. But also it didn't exist and then it exists. That's so cool. You have a magic trick if you get a bunny and a hat. This is just thin air. It just works. Yeah. That's even cooler. I have a thing about, I don't have arguments with my wife. I don't think things that conflict. And I get a laugh on conflict. And I don't know. It just, I wasn't intending to. Right. And they just laughed. And now I really jump on it. You know, I still don't know what we're laughing at. Right. But you pause and let them laugh. I let them do it. Yeah. It's funny. I saw, I don't know if I can say this, but like I saw, well, I saw Louis doing a bit the other night and it didn't work. And then he did a bit. And instead of saying it, you know, with emphasis, he did it under his breath and it killed. And it's amazing when he just like, oh, if I try less on some jokes that hit, if I try more on some jokes that hit, you just don't know how to deliver your own writing sometimes. Of course not. It's crazy. Well, that gets back to the cooking time. Yes. Conversation, which is there are things you can, like this coffee bit, it's a great bit. It's really long. It's got a lot of good stuff in it. Everything's great. But the opening is just okay. Well, I'm not going to. I'm not going to live with that. No. I got a good bit here. It's got to have a strong opening line. Yes. Now, finding that, it could take me months. Right. But I like wasting my time. Yeah. I do not like being efficient at all. I do not like, I do not want to be an efficient producer of comedy. I do not. I want to be inefficient. You don't want to be a factory pumping it out? No. No. I want it to look like he must have spent so much time on it. I don't want to spend so much time on that. Ah. You know? Right. To get all of that out of it, you know? But think about how much more you'd have if you were efficient. How much more material? Yeah, but that's volume. You're talking about volume. I'm talking about detail, quality, flow, rhythm, things that are just not important, honestly. Right. I mean, I like trying to find a segue between two things I want to do. Yeah. That's just perfectly smooth. There's no laugh. Yeah. It gets me there in five words. See, I love this in comedy, and I do feel like there was a part of our generation where it became uncool to care on this level. I know. And when you put this much thought into that, they were like, Jesus, what is he doing? Oh, you're not cool. Yeah, you almost have to fake that you, you know what I mean? Yeah. Especially in those Brooklyn shows. Oh, yeah. You kind of have to fake it a little. But the audience, when they see that magic, that flow, the rhythm, and it's tight as a drum, it hits them hard, for sure. I remember seeing Gary Goldman, the work he put into some of these callbacks. And I'd be like, holy shit, that's awesome. I remember loving it. Same. To me, it was just, you know. I think that's a defense mechanism with that Brooklyn shit. That, like, ironically bad, you know, dopey. I think that's all, that's cowardice. Yeah. Well, it's also, it's trying to claim it as our own new way of doing things. Right. Better than your old man way. Yeah, it's counterculture. Sure. Yeah. Right. That was a positive in the 60s. No, but it's all cyclical. Like, it'll go back to caring to be cool again at some point, you know, and then it's uncool. It's back. Yeah. It's back. I mean, the universe knows they're not coming out to see you in their 50s when you're in your 50s and you want to keep working. Yep. Unless you're making them laugh. That's worth money. You know, I was watching the Sebastian show. It's so fun to watch other, you do learn from sitting and watching somebody work. Yeah. You sit there and you go, oh, this is what we're doing. You can get lost up there in this world that you've invented. And you're just playing these, you're going up and down the keyboard and you're playing these songs. Yeah. But you don't really, you can disconnect in a way. So I watched his show. I just finished watching it this morning. So I'm excited about it because I really enjoyed it. And I felt what they were getting. I could see. And I don't really love these arena vibe anyway, but he plays it well. And I could see how, oh, they're going home feeling good. They feel good. That was worth it, they're thinking. The parking, the schlepping, the horrible, you know, cavernous basketball thing. That's not a show, you know. But he made them feel good because he delivers the laughs. Right. He makes you laugh. Yeah. You know, when he does that, I call it the silky. Silverback gorilla sound. He does that. Teeth. He says teeth louder than any human has ever said. Well, he reminds me to just, you got to, we're so writer-y, I feel like, especially us. Yeah. You've gotten more animated, I feel like, over the years. But he's so fun and funny. Like, he moves funny. He talks funny. And I forget to just be funny sometimes. I heard him once say, Orangina. And he said, Orangina funny. That's funny. He had a bit about, like, you know, I have Orangina in my fridge. No one has Orangina. And the way he said that, I was like, I've never heard someone brag about having Orangina, but that's hilarious. You can be in Africa in a village and think that's funny. You know, you don't have to even understand what he's talking about. It's already funny. I have that bit that you mentioned to me about that women are, wives are sharks, husbands are dolphins. Yes, yes. And so the thing about, no shark has ever performed at SeaWorld. They've never done one thing. They've tried and tried again. Jump or do something, you know. So, but I changed the pronunciation of SeaWorld to SeaWorld. Oh, wow. And there's a friend of mine came to the show with his girlfriend and the girlfriend said, why, why do you say SeaWorld? I go, because you notice it. Otherwise, it's a really boring word that you've heard a trillion times. Yeah. And that's the funny little game. That's the game that you have to play of just being funny. Just being silly. But I want to say, Sebastian's a great writer. Oh, no, I agree. He's a great writer. I mean, the company bit is next level. Yeah. Everything he does is well written. It's also fun to think about him. He had to not be good at one point. He had to learn that whole Sebastian thing. Who didn't do that? I'm not knocking him. I'm saying, I wish I could see those years of figuring it out. Why? I don't want to see what he does. Because you want to see the progression. I love the, how did he get here? Yeah, well, you're a nerd. I'm a nerd. I'm a nerd. And I am, too. But that's your favorite part of the biopic, too. Of course. I like to see when they figure it out, too. Yeah. Back when the internet started, I got a dumb idea. I said, I'm going to take everything I've ever done on TV, cut it into one and two minute portion sizes, and I'm going to put three up a day on my website as a thing. I don't know. I don't know what I was doing. I'm just trying to use the internet. Yeah. So I had to watch everything I've ever, every stand-up I've ever done on TV. Talking Merv Griffin, everything. Every one of them. Wow. And it was, it's like the first time you start working with a tape recorder. It's a little painful at first. Yeah, yeah. But I got to watch. I go, oh, he's learning. Yes, yes. He's learning. That's fascinating. Look at how he's talking. Look at how he's standing. He's not so uncomfortable. And you want, I did it. I did it. chronologically, and it was cool to watch it was cool to watch that's what i'm saying yeah as long as you're not too hard on yourself it's so easy to look back and and be like oh what were you you know hell yeah never ever be like that yeah never be like that i mean i still that got you here yeah that got you here you have to look at that stuff that was bad and go but that was the rope bridge that i had across yeah i had to cross that rope bridge to get where i am now well it's interesting because we might be the last group of comics that have late night sets i know what i mean well i think i don't think late night's going to be around forever why in its in its current iteration i don't think so i mean i don't think how much longer do you think late night tv is gonna i think it's gonna be different it's gonna be like oh you're talking about talk show so yeah oh i think you mean the clubs late no no no no like the tonight show like conan or or tonight show does that even exist now tonight show is barely there yeah some people go on but i mean we i remember listening to you on like fresh air with terry gross talking about how you go running before a tonight show yeah and mark and i'd be like we gotta fucking run yeah seinfeld ran before these sets i guess we gotta get healthy yeah well before pods there was no no stand-up info no news no tips no uh information it was a book this really launched me when i was about 19 there's a book called the last laugh it's the first book ever written about stand-up oh really by phil burger okay on the left i feel like i'm really and i still have this book i bought it in a bookstore i went oh my god there's a book about stand-up comedy and it was about every comic from like 72 i think it went back to like the 50s or 40s and it's a pretty terrorizing book it it's a lot of uh very disturbing what are the names there uh shelly burman milton burl henny youngman robert klein all right klein was the the biggest comedian at the time well there was one we read with you i i think you read this one too the franklin is a one comic insight yeah that was a good one i think it was you and shanley and belzer i forgot who else was in there there's another one called comedy at the edge those were good interviews oh yeah but this is before podcasts so yeah i mean i remember going into barnes and noble and just reading jokes in the book same same you know judy brown with those books and i was like i'll just read comedy quotes yeah it was fun i went on the toilet i remember reading ladies and gentlemen lenny bruce you ever heard of this book it's like it's like 400 pages no it's a whole story of lenny bruce it's a great book you you would love this book okay it's about all this drug use and this with the wife and all the madness but there's one line in the book i was reading it and i really had no idea how comics did anything yeah and he would call his mother after every set and there's one page of the book where he goes hey mom i did a new bit tonight and i went new bit you mean you know what you're gonna do the other stuff and yeah it was that that was literally the moment that i i knew i was going to be a comic wow i did a new bit tonight wow i didn't know they were bits exactly you know we had nothing to go off of what was it like when you first were trying to understand what it was how ignorant were you i was so good i soaked up everything my mom bought me books and i watched i was 20 21 right and i was in college and i would listen to carlin and you and shanling and everybody and richard jenny i loved and greg giraldo all these guys jenny's albums are so good yeah they're so fun i listened to them recently and they're just killer i had cosby himself and i had uh jeff foxworthy were two cassettes i had i listened to him over and over so what did you think of it when you were listening to it did you think how did they do this i thought it was magical i thought it was uh like being an astronaut i'm like how could you even get from a normal guy to there right and uh i went to an open mic and was too scared didn't go on right went again and i fell in love with all the comedians even though they were horrible but i was like that's amazing this is the coolest guy different they were all different first taste i i was the same way you you're around these comics like maybe this will be the crew yeah yeah they all drop off but you're like right yeah and then i moved to new york and just went all in and it was painful and it was ugly but uh you figure it out you meet friends and write together and yeah yeah but it's all very unknown it's all very like let's see where this goes and let's see if this bit works and i also wonder if we were so obsessed with jokes because so much of what we consumed was audio i mean i was listening to albums i wasn't watching as many specials yeah i mean first albums i listened to that old no but i mean i think i just cds were like my first intro to it no i mean probably the 90s i was probably no cosby special or what about evening at the improv no i watched some of those but i i remember becoming obsessed with albums like it was something about it is the best way to consume i remember hearing rock chris rockwick roll with the new being like whoa this is crazy this is crazy i'd never heard someone talk like this it was it blew me away or like you know a tell skanks for the memories were so many jokes uh good day to cross a river album yeah yeah and it was just like wow these are like he also did a he really talking about guys who like skillfully could do social commentary i love that guy he was great he was great he was great yeah but rock's uh bigger and blacker when i saw that or no wait no the other one bring the pain bring the pain that was the first one that was that yeah that was great i didn't know you could go that far i just re-watched them both and i was just like it is crazy yeah how relentless these are and he's got the callbacks and he's got the it's so polished i heard quinn told me that he rocked when he got that got the the special like he's your agent says you got it now we're gonna go shoot it in three months he paved his uh his tiny harlem apartment walls with glass with uh mirrors and just did it back and forth in front of the mirror so he could see what he looked like from every angle wow just to be ready comedians is so crazy that's not gonna help you never did stuff like that no oh i did that stuff get in and go go to the club and work out when he when i got the gig open for you i it was 15 minutes no light i ran that 15 with a stopwatch in my apartment over and over it was great well first one was rough but after that after the pep talk i feel like we really picked it up where was that the beacon beacon yeah that was that was big that was fun when you were in the clubs uh do you remember bill hicks there do you see him no he was houston uh i didn't run across him at all and by the time he was popular i think it was the late 80s and 90s and i was in la and then i was doing the show who were the la guys you'd see go up a lot well when i moved out there in 1980 i would drive up to the store every comic store every day and see who was going to be on and i was oh it was always i called them the le guys it was letterman lewis or leno and any of them were on those were the three guys i was obsessed with yeah what was letterman stand-up like pretty good you know yeah he was funny he just had a great presence smart you know he was great army yeah sarcastic he doesn't have that uh animal gene you know that comedians stand real touring stand-ups need yes leno has it yeah leno has it he took all of it well do you like you a lot of people have a misconception about you that you're you know you're the clean guy clean comedy he's a big porn guy but when i when i first met you i hide that i drink so much around jerry but you don't care why would i care well i just assumed you were so uh buttoned up but it's all the brand it's no it's a style it's a style i i just like the style i don't do you think that i think people would be upset to hear a curse word of course no they don't care i do it because i enjoy that style right uh it's just like it forces me to be elegant and interesting in a way that i like to be yeah like you know i didn't want to when we did the contest episode larry i remember larry saying i just talked with nbc they have no problem with us using the word masturbation i go no that's no fun let's not use it right that well that that's more interesting you're supposed to be good with words do it let's see you do it and that made the whole master your domain all that yeah that's the only reason i don't uh that cursing bothers me it's like you're good enough to to get that same laugh without it and that's what entertains us right can you do it the limits are fun yeah yeah that's true like i did the tonight show and uh i couldn't say erection oh so i had to come up with something but erection is isn't that the right term to use they didn't like it wow what year was that 2012 tonight show is very clean they've gotten harder yeah they've gotten sort of the erection yeah but yeah they've gotten but do you feel like like you don't want to do blow you don't drink a lot do you feel like you get it out with the cars maybe the cars is your outlet when you say get it out it refers to the evil the evil everybody's got a vice the evil in us oh you think it's going to be gone when you do blow it's going to be stronger but it's got to get out of you you know what i mean when you work you can't get it out it's in you have you ever been on a show where people grill you for not doing blow i'm not similar i've never done blow either but do you think i think everybody's just so stupid it's so stupid this is all you have to work with i'm saying this is the instrument this is your grand piano let's put some shit in here what kind of thinking is that well i don't want to do it but the cars might be the outlet well everyone needs interests mark and sure it's fine to be interested in things that interest you but poison is a stupid thing to get interested in right right um and if you can't figure out i mean i was whatever 17 watching kojak yeah and i could figure out drugs are bad sure i can tell from watching kojak i'm not i'm off the drugs i'm talking about an outlet i'm talking about you have to have a release advice you are correct you are correct not a bad advice i do get it from i i do some my family can tell you i do some weird exercise things i do too you know what kind of exercising well like we'll have people over and i'll eat like a crazy meal and i'll feel gross and i've had a couple glasses of wine and maybe a cigar i don't i can't go to bed i go to the gym whoa i'll go to the gym at like midnight whoa and just what do you do weights or no i'll just do a little cardio watch tv and and then i could sleep interesting so i will do things like that i mean is that what you're talking about crazy thing that might be some ocd or some gilbert yeah i think it's just a way to survive a self-abuse that's healthy well i do a crazy workout routine every day and if i don't do it i'm ruined great mentally great well doesn't that get it out i think so i think so it yes yeah i think that gets it out yeah because you're burning up the that juice exactly you're getting dopamine and adrenaline and these things are and i think stand-up is a good good out good outlet this is the ultimate sometimes it's my first time getting out of the house same set same thank god yeah god for it you know you're ready to get married you are ready this is one of the great marriage savers because you're like oh i gotta go i gotta do a set and you're like oh i'm out of the house can you believe what this guy's got going on he his wife comes home from work would you rather she works at home she works at home oh she works yeah he comes home from doing this whatever he's doing and then he goes out to the clubs during the week and then he goes out on the weekends they have a baby oh we we had a canceled flight gary veder and i this weekend and mark texts him oh man so extra time away from the kids i'm like yeah no no we're not happy about it it said so much about you well i think it's a it's a marriage saver that road time it is because you're not really designed to be married no comedian is not jim gaffigan used to say uh whenever he would hear about a comedian getting married he would say oh my god i'm not married he would go why no but so how do you have to go out of your way to make it work i pay for a lot of help yeah uh what he's got going on i've never heard of really yeah going out during the week and doing the road on the weekends if you don't do that every weekend every yeah he goes pretty hard yeah it's so impressive but i enjoy it yeah i know you enjoy it she accepts it it's cool i'm there all day and then except for today and then i do it every day and then i do it every day and then i do sets at night and then i i pay the rent and stuff you you got a great wife i got a great wife um but for a comedian who is not i i do a line about you know i never thought i could get married the stage that you're looking at you're looking at the number of people i feel comfortable working with right and so marriage is i think it's not really what we're cut out for because you've created this solitary world yes and survived indulgent right you're making a living with your whims and your notions and nothing notions yeah that's true so that's not normal yeah that's not normal but that's the other thing that's really funny at the end of the sebastian show a lot of comics do is he comes off and the wife and kids are there yes yes as if he's just a regular guy just a regular family guy yeah dazzling 19 000 people for an hour and a half yeah but when your wife sees the home and the pg and the 38 cars they go i go out a lot but look at this i hope that stays i hope that works i'm just saying it's not a bad life yeah no it's not bad but you can't buy your presence you you have to be there you have i see i see yeah your presence is important i hope she never sees this she's a great egg yeah she gets it all right does your wife give you shit for doing the road no she loves it now but when the kids were little it was tougher on her yeah it was really tough you need in this life it seems like you need a woman who can deal with a lot you really got to lay it out when before you get married that's a stupid thing but nobody talked about where do you want to live talk about that do you want to have kids how many what religion you know i'm putting it out there sooner and sooner in these rooms oh yeah i'm like just so you know i'm dying on this island or hotel room really it's out there that's really good i never thought of that i never had that problem but i could never leave this island either epstein said the same thing oh kill tony lost another one another good kill tony line where are the shades can i get more shades in here please well yeah but you know i never thought i'd move to brooklyn but uh you make compromises that's an island too that's true that's true i can't believe it's an island too i can't believe it's an island too i can't believe it's an island you left manhattan too i know wasn't he but i got a nice spot i got it's cool i got a brownstone great spot can't complain again i get a compromise i'm compromising but maybe i'll take some some weekdays off yeah i can't believe you don't starting to get feeling guilty but that's how i work the new out they're gonna work the new stuff yeah yeah we're all doing the same thing is your what is every day like how much time do you think you spend if you write is it a at a desk is are you taking i can write absolutely anywhere i could sit down on this floor give me a pad and a pen and say i think there's something funny about these toto toilets and i'll just start noodling i get it i'll get a coffee i like i think coffee is part of my system now i sure add add coffee to a pen i think writing with a pen actually and i i've seen some studies it does something to your brain that that this doesn't do yeah definitely memorize and of course exercise does something to your brain yeah i'm all pen i'm with you really oh yeah oh look at that yeah i got the same wow i've typed nothing down uh which there were very very few comics in my early days that had these things really very very i don't know how you i was like the only one i wrote down everything i don't now i'm much i'm selective but back in the day i wrote every dumb thought same because you're like i you never know something could be something the blessing of my career is about six months in i was watching some guy go on tv and get worse and worse and eventually he was finished and i went oh this is really hard because he didn't have the material he didn't have material and i realized oh this is really hard and the and this whole game is material yes that is crazy to get those opportunities but so so from six months in i said okay i need a i need some sort of uh yeah to produce this stuff you do get stuff comes to you but you need more you need more who were your friends early on who were really pushing you nobody pushed anybody but i mean if you just saw some i mean oh leno it was always leno wow leno had the best stuff he got he would just destroy and you would just think oh i just want to get this get that good and he would get a gig in atlantic city and you go wow atlantic city yeah imagine getting a gig in atlantic city atlantic city and he's so damn confident it's great like he would go on letterman with a hoagie you know just eat it there and i was like who is this guy yeah it's crazy yeah it's so you know again it's the guy there was just a few guys that loved it yes you know i mean nobody thought after the tv series you're gonna go back to the clubs exactly you know i mean i had on-air commitments from nbc for any other show i wanted to make movies i could have done anything but i wanted to make movies i could have done anything but i wanted to make movies i could have done anything but i brutality i missed the brutality and didn't you warm up the crowd at your own show uh no i would do a warm-up but we had a warm-up guy i would do a warm-up yeah i would do my uh uh tied uh i see tie is getting out bloodstains now remember that yeah get the harpoon out of the chest harpoon is funny if you've got a t-shirt with bloodstains all over it maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now that and bozo the clown those are my two big ones bozo the clown does he need the clown that's not me i think that's you no no that's you i'm pretty sure it's you does he need the clown is that bozo the district attorney yeah that was definitely you really yeah doesn't ring a bell wow i remember that wow that's a good that's a great bit he's been doing it so long he's forgetting i know eight minutes of his bozo the district attorney i never said that uh pull it we can find that he said that's a funny line it was on the you use it on the opening of the tv show at one point because he did a clown episode with george remember that with actually with uh who cares all right so uh yeah not that interesting all right so when you were done with sign phone you go back to the clubs yeah i mean you missed the brutality of that was there any point where you're like what the fuck am i doing or you're just like this is the best this is the best yeah i mean i i had i had had that experience that everyone wants which is i'm doing exactly what i want to do and people like it sometimes you can have a hit thing you know there's a lot of actors are in things a marvel movie yeah but that's not what i want to do and then they do what they want to do but it doesn't find any an audience yes so i had the thing yeah so i wasn't i was satiated you know i probably kept you from being a dick too i mean the fact you're being humbled again after all this success oh yeah the crowds yeah i thought i would have crazy confidence after that that would be that i'd be a different performer entirely and i found out very quickly uh same you same yeah it's like when you go to hawaii and you're like i'm gonna feel good you still hate yourself in hawaii you know i used to say to my friends i gotta i'm gonna move to another town i go are you bringing that head with you because if you bring that you're gonna feel exactly the same oh my friend moved to denver he's like i'm a move back within six months yeah they think they'll change yeah and didn't you shoot your hbo special when you i think you told me you were a little you weren't ready or you weren't feeling ready to shoot i'm telling you for the last time it was right after the show ended no no i was ready i had done a lot of a tour a long tour australia and europe and i was good okay i thought you were saying it was one of the harder things you've done was shooting that i had a brutal heckle i did at the point where you were saying it was one of the harder things you've done was shooting that brutal heckle i did at the point where you were saying it was one of the harder things you've done at the album right or the taping at the taping it was uh at the broadhurst on broadway and uh so it's two shows first show i go out really feeling good yeah and i'm just going oh i'm gonna just lay this down just the way i want it and some guy it was a it was a howard stern fan did this blood-curdling scream that just stopped the whole room just went yeah oh that still is in there no no we cut it out i swear i've heard that i thought there was a heckle in there yeah no we cut it out wow it aired live okay and then if you saw it live okay then you did hear it okay and i just and i had nothing oh just because all he said was my name right and i had nothing i couldn't think of anything and it just kind of rocked me back now hecklers listen you're gonna know how to get us right just say their name say their name but the guy it was uh he's probably listening right now yeah but uh it still went good yeah and one lady yelled something out i love you and you're like i love you too but i feel the need to see other people and you had the opening bit i'm not trying to blow you too much but you had the opening bit about the uh the standing ovation and i remember thinking what was that you know you got a standing o and you went i love the standing o because not everybody wants to do it there's always that one guy who's like we're doing this now oh yeah i still do that that's gold yeah but i opening a stand-up show is so awkward that's a perfect way to slide in oh yeah i always wish i had an opening like that that's so natural well you were the other one too about doing something oh that's another great open right that you that you're out but you gotta go back yeah i'll never beat that opening opening a show is the toughest it's a tough thing tough not as tough as closing no i don't have a great closer now and i just hate it i heard that actually yeah i have an end but i used to have that bit about the bathroom stalls yeah the separation between the panels yes that was great i really miss that guy see you love your old act you hate your old act well there's certain bits i look back i'm like wow i wish i could write a bit like that right right yeah but there's yeah but there's others and i'm just like there's specials of mine i like i've never hated anything that i had that worked whoa yeah i don't i wouldn't say i hate it i think it's usually like my delivery or just the way i'm it's little things it's it's not like the bit that i'm just like oh i hate that bit it's more just like there's little things that bother me more uh-huh but i don't i don't get like too caught up in it sure but yeah even listening to an old set when you're listening to an old version of a bit i'm like why was i telling it that way sure i'm not mad i'm just like what the hell was i doing i know i know because it seems so simple once you crack a bit but you forget that this is every time it's work have you guys ever listened to an old set to an old bit and thought wow how did i write like that now i'm gonna listen to this bit to learn how to write a bit that way i'm learning how to write a bit for my own bit yeah that crazy i'm not oh okay sometimes i'll listen to comedy though and just hear like someone and be like oh i like i'm not like this comic but it'll remind me oh this is just silly or this is funny it just reminds you like you see me here regan and you're just like it's so silly i know i know just reminds you not i don't know sometimes you hear preachy comedy you hear so many different types of acts the seller or wherever and it's great because you're exposed to so much but every once in a while you're like what do i like why did i get into this yeah silliness is like oh that's what made me happy yeah that's what they want to see more than anything i know they want to see you do what you like yeah and the fact that you like it is what makes it fun for them right they do not care what you're talking about they care only how you feel about what you're talking about especially when you bring up something stupid right why is he talking about this because because i really like this subject and that to me is what a comedian should be not addressing what's been on your mind lately ah that is not what that's that's the daily show right and that's nothing wrong with that but that's that's not what stand up is stand up is we want to see a guy a little out of his mind yes crazy into himself and obsessed with what he's obsessed with yeah it's the obsession that they come to hear whoa and that's when you're the funniest whoa when you're talking about something that you know this hasn't occurred to anyone else yeah stephen wright is the king of that yeah any good comedian is doing that right i think huh even rodney talking about his wife hating him well i mean that that was a pretty strict formula that that's true that's true and and because he had had such struggles early on he stuck to the formula right but in person he had a lot of other stuff going on that was interesting and i would say to him you should do that and he'd go no no no like what just you know he he's philosophical guy yeah you know about you know i thought comedians are what is life this is all phony this is all nonsense everything everybody does is meaningless right right he had that yeah every comedian has that kind of nihilistic uh lens on things you know totally but don't you feel like you open up and get vulnerable and talk about that thing you want to talk about that thing you're obsessed with and they don't go with it that hurt that sucks yeah but i sometimes i feel like i can't get them there that sometimes you can't but you try all right and and and i do believe that's why i like go back to our favorite subject if you want to try for six months i have a this bit about uh ambulances and i've i told you about this the sirens oh yeah it's one guy you know we feel bad we don't know anything about him we don't know how he lives let's get this whatever it is yeah it's just it's just i've been on this a year it's still not working i got a few it's a couple little laughs in it that keep it alive and that's i like it because it's not working you're getting a toxic relationship with the joke premise sometimes right yeah right yes yeah no it's codependent but unlike the relationship you could fix this bit it's possible that it could work one day the relationship will never work yeah but one day but it'll never be as good as that bit that comes nice and easy it'll it'll never be that funny when you just get a bit really early on and so rare you get a gift like this but it was about a guy on the subway who was masturbating and it was awful and it was just like this awful moment with a girl was dating and she kept saying you're just gonna do you're just gonna let him do that you're just gonna let him do that and i and the twist that just hit me on the subway was i just turned he said i wasn't due to her i was doing it to you and the twist was i sit down i go you're just gonna let him do that there you go i was like how did that not hit me but it hit me on the like on the train i was like what not in the moment yeah obviously right i was like oh yeah the expectations on her now yeah that's fantastic so but it just it was like a gift and i was like oh i think that's it and i tried it that night and i got an applause break that never happens that's the best it's always it's always like labor labor it's never just like you know that's why more and more try to just not have the airpods in because i'm just like just let right sure but like you know you know what you're it's like life you know what's healthy you know what you're supposed to do you know you're supposed to exercise sometimes you're bad sometimes you're good but right you know that you're gonna get a gift if you if you let your mind wander it's just like you know you're supposed to listen to sets you just sometimes you don't want to but you gotta gotta do the work you got to but don't you feel like when you do crack that ambulance bit it's great because you get the ones that pop in but there's got to be jokes that you worked on for a year and you did crack it yeah okay yeah so yeah that that pop tart thing that oh there you go that that took a long time and you nailed it doesn't matter my my whole philosophy is don't be a good accountant of your time and energy just don't don't even know what a waste of time that was for something that failed or succeeded yeah the hell with it the only thing that matters is that struggle that you have um adapted yourself to the struggle and that's the only thing that matters and you're comfortable with it it's very zen you yeah i had a lot of regrets yeah yeah it's It's a good way to go through life. It doesn't matter. Yeah. What you want, it's what you want to be. It's not what you're getting. It's what you want to be. I want to be that guy that can suffer. Right. For a long period of time. I want to be that guy. Yeah. You know. The money or the jokes. Those things come. They come. They come on their own. Yeah. The jokes come on their own. The only thing we can do is to grind. So if you can figure how to fall in love with that, then you got it. It's kind of like those boxers who are getting pummeled and they're going, ah. You know, like, bring it on. I keep bombing and this joke is failing, but I'll take it. That's really you. That's very you. You're Jake LaMotta. Yeah, Jake LaMotta. Hit me. Hit me again. You never got me down, right? That ambulance bit, it hasn't gotten you down. I love that his rock bottom was becoming a comedian. Jake LaMotta. That was his low point. That kills me. There's a lot of that. Stormy Daniels and Steve-O and all these people. You're like, get out of comedy. Don't worry. Don't worry. Yeah. It just kills me when I'm like, oh, I'm going to Dr. Grin's or the Comedy Castle and Mark Ridley's. And you're like, ah, this reality star is getting out of here. You guys aren't playing to the same crowd, though. No. God, no. You're good. The comedy ecosystem, only the NFL approaches the comedy ecosystem for discarding the unwanted. Yeah. Ain't that the truth. Yeah. CTE. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we don't want to plug your beacon dates here. Jerry Seinfeld at the Beacon. Yeah, of course. Definitely don't miss this. All right. December 19th and 20th. Is that what it says? My eyesight sucks. No, that's old. That's October. Yeah, we need the new dates. No, it's December. Yeah, something. 20th. 19th and 20th. Okay. At the Beacon Theater. And in January as well. I mean, this is a great show, and it's the Beacon. It's like the best venue ever. You better believe it. It's a good place to hear a comic. That's why I like playing it. Anybody that says, I saw you there, I know what happened. Right, right. It's a good one. It's a great one. A little elevator, all of it. Yeah. I'm back in the clubs to work out a new hour. And how long was that take? I'll do a year. Wow. Yeah, really grind it out, really eat shit. And what about the income? Not concerned? That's a dip. That's a dip. But you can add some shows. You still do pretty well on a club. Yeah, you sell out, you hit the bonus. And you do the same way? Yeah, we do the same thing. I'm back in clubs right now just to make sure I'm tight for when I tape. So I'm going to tape. So I just want the repetition. Right. Yeah. Great. Yeah. So I'm at Kansas City. They got a funny bone there now. Des Moines, baby. Really doing it. Brea, California. Bend, Oregon. A couple casinos. That's where the income is really at. Grand Ronde. Ever heard of that? New Brunswick. Stress Factory. San Antonio. Wow, look at this. And Tulsa. Really. Your kid's never going to see it. All right. This is what you call the neglect tour. Indianapolis. All that Buffalo. My kid's a stripper tour. Portland, Providence, Lexington. All right. We're going far. Dania Beach. Hopefully we're going to move it by then. Spokane. All right. What do we have? Yeah, I got. Carnegie Hall, baby. Oh, that's the big one. That's past. Yeah, we got. Oh, you did? You did that already? Well, when this comes out. No, December 4th. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah, but this is coming out the 14th. 14th. So, yeah, we got Stanford, Connecticut in February. I'm doing Omaha, Nebraska. It's a great club. Yeah. I'm a funny bone. Tough flight. DC Improv in January. Yeah. You mean to tell me this works? People are paying attention to this. I can't believe it. For sure, yeah. Well, they want to hear when their town pops up. And then we got, yes. And then the big one, yes, Stanford, Connecticut. We got that Chicago. And the big one, Tampa Theater. Two shows. I am so glad. I'm so clicked off at this point. No way. I'm waiting to hear my town. And go see Jerry at the Beacon. Jerry, thanks so much, man. Thank you for helping me with the Beacon, guys. Go see the ambulance, Bit Bomb. All right, thanks, folks. See you on Kill Tony. We might be true. Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35 on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh quality food, plus digital and personalized offers, tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger, fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See site or store for details.