(upbeat music) - Boom. - Switch. - Here we are. - Hey, hey, folks. - Good to be back. - We might be drunk, we're here, we're queer. - You go hard this weekend? - Ah, not really actually, I had DeVito opening and he was taking it easy, so I kind of took it easy. - He usually will grab a tequila soda or some drink. He's usually drinking something, why don't you let them? - I got him a few and he was like, I'm good. Like, I had two and I noticed he was falling asleep every night so I was like, I, we should go home. (laughing) - And when you guys started doing this one, I'm like, he's the driver, too, goddamn it. - Yeah, yeah, damn. - We get a great weekend in Canada. - Where'd you hit? - We did Halifax, hidden gym. - Wow, I don't think I've ever been. - Great town, it's one of those towns like thanks for coming, nobody comes here. Cute beach town, lobster, water, great. - I heard it's great. - Great, and it's like an hour and a half flight. It's totally doable. Like, this should be more comedies, comedies. - Oh, let's gocha. - That's it. - That salmon, baby. - New Canada, our new Scotland, is what that means. And yeah, look at that, just beautiful riverfront views and water. - It looks like Portland, Maine, that's insane. - It's very similar to Maine without the heroin. (laughing) - There's gotta be some heroin and Halifax. - Probably a little heroin. - A little heroin. - In Portland, Maine, it's fucking dicey, dude. And the booze. - Oh my God, yeah, Maine is hillbilly north. - Not to mention, they're like lobster hitler out there. It's like literally just like every fucking block they're roundin' 'em up. (laughing) - It's crazy. - That's true. - Like, we gotta meet you like, all right, Jesus, great. - Yeah, that's true, it's a genocide. - Yeah, they're dumping 'em in. Little fucking, and they're making merch out of it. - Oh yeah. - Not only they dumping 'em in, but they're fucking, they're merging every store. It's like, it's a lobster t-shirt, too. - Yeah, that's true. - Aren't we rubbing it in? - And you pick your lobster to eat, which is also pretty brutal. - That was a great Richard Jenny joke. You know the joke I'm talking about, where you go to the seafood restaurant, and you see the tang full of lobsters, and they all have that same look like any word from the governor? - Mm-hmm. - It's a great fit. - Oh, that's great. - Richard Jenny was great. - He was underrated, killer. - So funny. - Check out a plat, is it platypus? - He always shits great, dude. - Platypus. - I mean, I listened to an album recently, and it was like, his opening line was great, too. It was like, I have a easy job. Not the easiest job is pretty easy. Easiest job, it was when Michael Jackson was in the trial. The lawyer against Michael Jackson, that guy always had to do his go up against M.J. and create reasonable doubt. (laughing) - I'm paraphrasing, I'm butchering the wording, but like, great open, just like, get right into it. - Yeah, yeah. I told you, my favorite, every time I try to bang, my wife in the ass, she turns in Elvis. - Oh. (laughing) - Thank you very much. - He was underrated comic, man. - He did commentary, and he was silly, and he had huge actouts and great takes. He was great. - Yeah, he was, he was, and it was like, like, he had like a bit of carlin' where it was written, and it was like, the word choice was important, but then it was also like, great performer. - Great. - A little Robin Williams too. - Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. He was like well rounded. - Yeah, killed himself, fucking terrible. - Brooklyn guy. - Don't, don't, yeah, I heard a story actually from my buddy who worked a club back in the day. It was like, he was convinced the guy in Brooklyn and the mob wanted to kill him. - Hmm. - And it was like going on for years, and they had to do like a sit down and all that, I mean, it's fucking weird. - Whoa, wait, what was his real name? Go up, real name, John, Richard John Collingolo. - Collangelo? - Collangelo. I did not know that, he's super whoppy. Ah, maybe that's why the mob hated him. - Well, he must have made fun of someone or something. - Yeah, yeah. - So Halifax, was that it or do you go all over Hannah? - Halifax was great, and then we went to Ottawa. What you know, you think-- - It's a great fucking comedy city. - Great day. - They fucking laugh. - I know. - I had one of the best sets of my life in Ottawa. - Really? - I was opening for Schumer back in the day in the arena there, and I just fucking avis-- It was like one of those, I was like, I can't believe how hard they're laughing. - It's great, you know, you're like, Ottawa, it's very unassuming, it's their capital. - It's like their DC, so it's a lot of smart people. - A lot of smart people, beautiful buildings, big architect, the parliament building, and all that shit. - Their hockey team's the Ottawa Senators. - Yeah, there you go. - With the Senators. - Weird, not a very scary team. Like, they're gonna get rid of abortion. Like, what is the Senator? That's so good. - The abolitionists, they're coming to town this week. - My son is gay, I'm mad, ah, you know. So yeah, so Ottawa was unreal. We did some big room, and we were late. I actually took us to the wrong theater with a Uber, and I was like, why would my agent put us in this hotel 20 minutes away from the theater, this fucking idiot, and I get there. I'm like, hey, I'm here to the tour manager. He's like, yeah, where are you? We're starting in like 10 minutes. I'm like, I'm outside, he's like, where? And I sent him a pin, and he's like, here's another pin, the theater was next to the hotel. - Yeah. - So we had to take an Uber all the way back, and Davido had to just run on stage, and it was one of those where we got there, and he was like, holy shit, what is this room? And it was just the hot, it was the National Arts Center in Ottawa, and boy, was it a hot crowd. - It is a, it is a fucking hot, it's a hot comedy city. - It is, it is, and then we went to Absolute Comedy Club after. - You're fucking savage. - Oh yeah, well, everybody, Sean Murphy's like, it's the best club in Canada, it's amazing, they used to say you go there to make a tape. - Yes. - That was, you go to Absolute, or you tape, or what was the one in Boston? Blath, not Blath, comedy studio. - Comedy studio. - They were like, I got my first late nights at Comedy Studio, 'cause they're like, go up there, everything kills. - Cambridge. - Just go clean. - Yes, yes, that was a smart crowd. - I think, did John Fish do an album? - He did, yeah. - You know, it's, it's supposed to be a great club. I always wanted to work there back in the day. - So did I, I heard all these rumors. Some people wouldn't take the tapes, 'cause they were so hot. - Dude, we were literally, that's how old we are. We were sending like DVDs. - DVDs, yeah. - Remember that? - Oh, of course, sure. - We were sending it with a little envelope. - You young kids, you just copy and paste a link. You don't know how good you have it. We went to the post office. - Yes, you had to drop it in a box. So yeah, that was the whole thing. But yeah, Killer Club did a set there, and everybody was very nice, and then we got drunk and went home. - I love it, do you drive back or fly? - Fly, yeah, you got to fly. - Dude, I was out with Sandler all weekend doing, like, arenas, it was fun as hell. - That's like, crazy, yeah, crazy, crazy tour to be a part of. I've been out with them a few times before. It's always like the most, it's what you expect. It's like a massive version of how I tried it to work. Where it's like, you play basketball during the day, but, you know, we're traveling in like, there's SUVs everywhere, private jets. - Wow, it's like summer camp. - Summer camp, but it's like, great crew. It's like Kevin Neillin, is that? Kevin James, like, yeah, that's fun as hell. - Wow. - Fortune Feamser came on some of the dates. - I saw that. - She's awesome. - She's the best. - And, dude, it was, it's like steakhouse every night. - Oh my God. - Which is like, first couple of nights show, this is great. By night, you're like, I'm gonna get fucked. I'm gonna feel like sick from all this. - Yeah. - Kind of a, you know, champagne problem here. - Sure, sure. - We, get the meat sweats. - I did, I made one faux pas. - Uh-oh. - We're in the arena before the show, and my green room's like really far away, so we're all just like hanging out, watching sports, watching the Yankees game, and, you know, Sam was going on like 10, and I'm like, kind of have to take a shit. - Oh boy. - Should I poop in his green room? Is that a bad move? Mine's really far away. And I'm like, ah, it'll be a quick shit. I'll be ending out. - This is bold. - This is bold. I shouldn't have done it. I had a drink in me. I was like, what am I thinking? - Oh my God. - I went in the green room bathroom. It was not a good shit. It was a, it was a, it was a red meat and risky shit. - Yeah. - And it didn't, it came out, not, well it's, I was like, it's bad when you're like, this smells bad. (laughing) When it's your poop and you're like, it's not good. - Yeah. - And, uh. - Sounds like a country song. It's a red meat and whiskey. (laughing) - Oh, man. - I go out and I was like, whatever. He's going on five. He's not going to go in the bathroom. He walks in the bathroom. I was like, oh! - And he came out and it's like, in the sale of horse, I was like, who took a monster shit? And I'm like, oh shit. - Did he do it? Who took a poo? (laughing) - No, it was more like the angry water for the voice where I was like, fuck. And I was like, I did it and he was like, Samy! - Oh, that's crazy. - And the option I did was there and he goes, you can't give him ammo. He's going to use this against you forever. I was like, fuck. - Damn. - Damn, yeah, I was like, fuck, that was a faux pas. I was like, I'm sorry, I should have done that. - You never have, like, hook it up with his daughter. - No, no, no. I think that's worse. - Okay. - I think she's underage. - Oh, I think that's, I think that's a double bad idea. (laughing) - But, no, dude, that's, yeah, that was my fuck up. - Wow. - But we were like, it's crazy, we end up wearing Baltimore and he's like, we're going under armor today to play basketball. And I was like, we're going to like their facilities. Like, yeah, it's in Baltimore. - Holy. - We show up. It's like, dude, it's Davey football field. - What? - In under armor, they have a football field, they have like all these basketball courts, indoor and outdoor, they have a store. They're like, Steph Curry might come by and I'm like, fucking, like, look, I don't know. - What? - I don't get started, so he's their guy. - Yeah. - So I'm like, I don't get started. It's fucking Steph Curry. And he's probably going to come to the show tonight and then like last minute, they're like, he has to change his flight so he's coming tomorrow morning. I was like, oh man. - Oh. - But, but we play hoops there and the CEO is there. He's a cool dude. - Oh. - He's like, here's our info. Like, take whatever you want from the store. - Oh. - I'm like, I'm not going to be a dick. You got to take the new Curry sneakers. And he's like, they're not even out yet. Take him, I'm like, all right, I'll take a pair of the Curry sneakers. Then they're like, we got to get some underwear and I'm like, I'll take some undo it. - All right, good. - You know, I'm a sheath man, as we all know, but I'll take some undo. I'll try it out. You know, they're like, get this shirt. They're like, this is a good hat. I'm like, I'll give him my dad. Then there's like a Steph Curry shirt. My buddy Dory loves the word. I'll give it to him. So I'm like, hand him his shirt. I look over Joe Vessu. He's one of Sandler's guys on the road. He's like four bags of shit. - Oh, you can't do that. - And he was like, I want to have a problem. But I was cracking up and he left
with like four pairs of sneakers, and it's fucking, I got a couple things, but dude, Under Armour makes great shit. - Great shit. - I was like, this is like, you know what's cool is when the clothes are like, there's like a technology to it. - Yes. - Well, you're like, oh my god, there's like, you know, the hat. - Do they have these hats that you can like, smush up and they don't wrinkle? - Whoa. - I love shit like that. So it's like for travel, yeah. - Yeah, exactly. My head gets smushed in my bag. - Dude, yeah, it was sick. - Wow, and the story of Under Armour is pretty crazy. I would have a big fascination with like, entrepreneur, people who start shit, and it's just a guy who started it, nobody believed in him, and then athletes started wearing it. Like kind of just, they thought it was the best. Like LeBron loved it, and then it just blew up. - Yeah, and Curry went with it for, I mean, they got Curry. - Oh, that's right, yeah. - He's like, and they got deer and fox. They got some guys, yeah, it was-- - He was like a coach. He was like a coach, and he's like, this material isn't good enough, and he made his own, and then it worked. - He left for a while and came back, yeah, we were hanging with Kevin. He was cool as hell. - Wow. - That was fun, give me the whole rundown. Like, do you fly out? Are you on a jet? - Oh, we fly, yeah, we flew private every day, it's great. - I mean, it's very different from the way we travel, when you're with like a guy like Sandler, you're like, this guy is, you know, he's so famous too, that you just have to like, you have to move. - Yeah. - Like, he's very cool, take pictures with people, but like, you literally land at some, you know, private airport, and there's 40 people, like, sign my thing, and they're so fucking rude, some of these people, they have like the eBay FedEx box, ready to go. If you're gonna bother this guy for an autograph, like, I feel like maybe five people out of a hundred, it's for them. - Sure. - It's like a business, people do it, so, but. - So much work, it's like a regular job, it's easy. - It's so much work, it's like a lot. So then, yeah, dude, private, also like, we're so used to doing an hour on stage, that like, it takes me back to be doing like, I'm doing like eight to 10 minutes. - Oh, yeah, so, animal. - So you feel like you're like, this is my work day, I'm doing eight minutes. - I know. - So you just start drinking in the green room, I'm like, I'm just fucking, fortunes like, let's fucking, let's drink some in Addams. I'm like, let's get drunk, so we're getting sauce. - Hell yeah. - We're just watching a show, it's fun. It's also so fun to watch, 'cause it's a lot of music and stuff. - Yeah. - So we're just bombed, we're just kinda walking inside stage. We're taking a jet back to New York after Baltimore, and the lady on the jet, this is a weird one too. I go, how you doing? And she goes, medium? - Oh. - It's just weird to be that honest, you know? - Yeah. - People just say, I'm good. - And on a jet. - You just say, a medium. - Medium is weird. - And burger. - Yeah, what do we, (laughs) so, one there and I'm like, is there booze on here? And she goes, of course. So I was like, I'll take a whiskey. And she goes, all right, and then Kevin James, of course, he goes, oh, I want a whiskey too. - Oh. - And then Sandler goes, gotta, let's get all whiskey. - Oh! - Yeah. - That's incredible. You're drinking a whiskey on a jet with Sandler. - It was fucking cool. - Kevin James. - Yeah, and then I went to the private bathroom on the jet and took a big shit. (laughs) - No, I learned my lesson. - We need to make an emergency landing. (laughs) - Adam, we have to sleep in Newark tonight because Sam took another shit. - Oh, wow. I think that actually did happen once a guy shit's so bad and a plane they had to like-- - I'm sure it's happened in history. - Can we look at that? In history, someone must have taken a shit so bad. - I think it was like a two months ago, literally. - I wanna imagine that's the reason of playing crashes. (laughs) The pilot's like, fuck. (laughs) - Is that an act of terrorism? Really, what do you think about it? 'Cause it's an active inconvenience. - There you go. - I mean, a terrorist blows it up. I mean, technically you did blow it up. - Yeah, blow it up. - I guess it maybe is an act of terror. - It's a biohazard, too. It's like, it's poisonous. - And how about when they break down and like the smeltest travels? That's a bad one. - Oh, yeah, that's tough. - 'Cause they all know who did it. They're all looking at the guy who was in there too long. - Right, right. - It's not a hard case to solve. - Look at that, August 2025. There we go. - And replace the carpet. - Wow. - That's a bad shit. - Now does it shoot out of the plane or is that a myth? - You know, I've had this talk with people, 'cause I did, I remember I did Chelsea Handler's podcast and she was like mocking me for, no, it was Trevor Noah's mocking me. - Okay. - He was mocking me because he was like, "You think he goes into the sky?" And I was like, "I don't know, I just figured." And he was like, "Of course it doesn't." - I go over the ocean. - I thought that was our revenge on the birds. We poop back on them. - That's true. Okay, it's a vacuum system. - It's a vacuum, yeah. No, I didn't even know. - I didn't know either. I just shot out into the world and it dissipated. So nobody got hurt. - Chat GBT is gonna make kids either way smarter or way dumber. I don't know. - I think dumber. They'll have the information but they won't be able to think of themselves. Retain, that's the word. - Retain, that's big. - My aunt, my fat aunt would always say, "I retain water," which I always thought was hilarious as a kid. - That just means you have bad hips. - Yeah, you're eating cupcakes as we speak. You're like, "That's water, it's all water." - Yeah, water, drink water. See, you feel great when you drink a lot of water. - Of course, you hydrated. - Yeah, you ever just wait a few hours when you don't eat breakfast immediately and you just pound water? - Oh, it's great, you can feel it flow through you. - I do it once a year, but it's good. (laughing) - Good feeling. - Jeff Fox, we had a great line. His ex-wife or somebody would be like, "I'm not fat, I retain water," and he goes, "So does a Hoover Dam." - Oh, that's a good joke. - That's a good one. - He had a couple of bangers. - Yeah, yeah. - There we go. - Well, yeah, was that how the weekend end up? - Great, you end up getting home. It's great to get home night off. That's a beautiful thing. Sit right here, quick flip. - You just stand there a weekend. - Yeah, we did some dates on the end. - On the jet, huh? - I was ready. I thought they were gonna spend the night in Baltimore, so I was like, "I'll just try to get a late train or a car back." But then they were like, "No, we're flying to New York." And I was like, "Fucking beautiful." - Nothing better. - Yeah, the quick flip, you get there, do the show, be right back in your bit, the same day. - Really quick flip. I'm using that. - I didn't even know the concept of private jets and comedy, 'cause it was such an athletic thing to me. - Right, well these are athletes. And then I opened for Ron White one time and made a ass of myself. You ever like open for a big weight? Like when you, I literally made an ass out of myself. - And you try to like, chum it up with him. Like here, just a fucking regular road guy. I open for Ron White and Strike One. I come up to him in the green room. I go, "Hey man, let me know if you need a ride "to the airport in the morning." - Wow. - That's not so bad. That's gotta be scary. - That's just polite. Then I go, he goes, "I'm leaving tonight, Roy." And it's Huntsville. I'm like, "Where the fuck in Alabama, bitch? "There's no flight, it's too dirty." I go, "Who, who, who, who you flying?" Roy, I have a plane. (laughing) And I just tiptoed the fucking green room. - How the fuck should we know this stuff? - You don't know. - That's rarified here. - You're three, I just, the idea of like, the Kings of Comedy tour on a jet. But I didn't. - I didn't know that, yeah. - It's also very new for comedy, I feel like. - Oh yeah. - That's how Ron got, but you don't have to have him on the podcast, it's his story to tell, but that, when he got arrested for weed or something, he had to mix up with some weed and like a pile, like he landed and it was weed on the plane. And he says that like, somebody on this team, I'm not sure if it was the pilot for sure, but he says somebody basically tipped the feds off that the feds, yeah, well, it's federal, you crossing state, whatever the fucking drugs. - But that's crazy. - But that's back when weed was still the devil, I mean. - The devil's grass. - Yeah, yeah, he did good for himself. I respect Ron, why he's so much for-- - Oh, he's just a classic. - He still grinds in like, shit rooms. Like, he'll just go up in random spots in LA. - I saw him do Mobyta Mondays. - What? - In LA, which is like the blackest. He did Mobyta Mondays. It was either the same week or the week after DJ drama got arrested for like all of the mixed tape, whatever. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - And so the room was just extra black, right? (laughing) - If that makes sense. - Sure. - Crushed. - We did Mobyta Mondays. - Yeah, it was in Ruby Tuesdays. We did every black show. - Ruby Tuesday. - Yeah, Ruby Tuesdays. - We did every black Tuesdays. - We did chocolate sundays. We did every night of the week. We did sad Thursdays. We bombed every show, Mark. - Yeah, it was bad. - They don't want to hear us run. We were running roast jokes and they didn't want to hear that shit. - Yeah, black people don't roast like that. Like the joke structure is not, it's just got to be this month, fuckin' right? (laughing) Versus yeah, he went over here. In fact, he went over there. - He's black now, he can't do that. - Well, you've seen the Doug Williams. - Yeah, that was the rock. - Yeah, the Jamie Foxx. - The Jamie Foxx. - My biggest nightmare is that. - Yeah, it was not that. - We did a talk with the Hollywood reporter, these stand-ups, and Jamie Foxx was on the round table. And I asked him about it. They edited it. They took it out. And I wish the Hollywood reporter it left it in, because it was like, he's never talks on the record about what happened at night. But Jamie says that Doug was real braggadocious backstage. So it's like, they make him look like this. And Doug was very established. And he was hosting a show on the network. That's why he was there in the first place. But apparently, Doug had been talking a lot of shit backstage. So then when it came time to actually go out there and roast, and the jokes weren't working, Jamie's shit was low-key, a clap bat, to some stuff that happened off camera. And they kinda play like, oh man, Doug, when funny, and then Jamie just went for the juggler, 'cause Jamie's a killer. But I really feel like Jamie was just like, nah, I'm gonna get my lick back. - For those of you who don't know what we're talking about, Doug Williams is doing a roast. And Jamie Foxx, he takes the mic. - No, his mic is still live. - Whose mic's still live, rather? - Well Doug, is that the day it takes over? He starts talking through his set, which I was like, I don't know.
I always thought was kind of a, I understand it's a clap-back, but like, I think you got to let the roaster have the floor. Even if they're bombing? I don't, I think that's through the bomber to get out of though. I think because we've seen people bomb and then kind of get out of it. I think it's kind of a, I respect Jamie Foxx, I think he's insanely talented. I just thought it was kind of like a, and I don't know the history, but it's kind of a, it's kind of a dirty move a little, it was, it was, it was, and it was peak Jamie too. So he was very, he had an arrogant about him, but I just, I say that to say what Jamie did to Doug that was not unprovoked. That means, I mean, justify. I would hope. It was not unprovoked, and I say that with respect to Doug, Doug is one of my Alabama comedy OGs. He's from Montgomery. Yeah. But it was one of those things where I said, I get why you even at that one, what you should have done, but it was a roaster, Emmett Smith, Doug goes up, some of the jokes aren't hidden, and Jamie starts pretending to be his conscience, which is what every comedian has when you're, when you're bombing, you're thinking to yourself, exactly. I just did another joke that didn't work. Maybe I should wrap it up. Like it was, it was pretty bad. So the blind eye, we just thought he was being a dick because it was a big star versus the, yeah, that's kind of, that's kind of how I read it too. Yeah. But no, no, they say, okay, and this is just, this is Jamie Foxx, where Doug was backstage talking cash shit and was like, yeah, I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna kill everybody is going to be, which is what you're supposed to say at a roast. That's not what I say. Craig was there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's kind of hurt. Yeah. I don't, I just don't know if like black roast could be done the same as like they do like the mainstream, what do you mean, netflix and all that, I would love to see that. Why, why do you think there's a difference? Cause I have noticed that black audiences don't respond the same way to like what we do. I don't, I don't know if this is the black audience, but I don't know if you could organize a situation for any black celebrity to just sit there while other black celebrities just be little him in the idea of getting back and I roast out of love, it would have to legitimately be people out of love. Right. You boys are close to this. Flavor Flavor took it well. Give a Flavor Flavor knows he's a caricature, like he plays it. He can play it as a fucking horns on his head while holding a piece of chicken, like he doesn't care. Yeah. I don't know. It was just a lunch. I didn't know. Tell me if this is true, but I heard that part of the whole someone who isn't necessarily a friend of the roastee being acceptable to roast that person started because none of Chevy Chase's friends would come to the Chevy Chase roast, which was either the first or one of the first comedy central roast. Apparently heavily edited because I've never seen that on TV and I was like, well, I mean, Mark Marin killed, but he only did two minutes, right, using Todd Barry. He killed two minutes. Right. That's your auto killed. 130. Like, it was the weirdest thing to be like, wow, they really cut this down, and they use a lot of comics. He didn't know. Man. Correct. But because supposedly because they had no choice, but it's still got rating. So then comedy central is like, well, fuck it. But it was, it felt, it felt, you're right, though, it didn't feel like a Dean Martin roast. It felt kind of vicious because they weren't friends. They were like, I don't know the pre existing, like, if you did a roast of ice cube and you got everyone from the ice cube universe of entertainment and you got old rappers, old cold stocks. Good as Jewish manager to come out. Be like, sorry. Sorry about that. I fucked up. Dig up Jerry Hiller for the end of the video. Get Paul Giamatti to just come out and reprise his character from straight out of Compton. But if you saw Mike Epps roast and ice cube then it's like, okay, I know the backstory and the love and all of that. I just don't know if you could just, if any black entertainer would just allow just a random, even if you're socially accepted, ice cube's not going to let Drusky roast him. It's got to be someone with a great, they have no history. Well, it's got to be, it's got to be like a, it's someone who's got a stabless sense of humor, like a shakion meal or something like that. It's got to be someone who's like, okay, so someone who's star is as equal. Two yours and I can kind of fuck with you. But no, you're right. I don't, I just don't see a lot of black roasts that are not like that roasts of Emma Smith that they did. An athlete to the hardest because athletes are like so arrogant and believe they're above jokes. You ever watch something YouTube somewhere, but there's Steve Harvey hosting the NFL honors, which I would argue is the most difficult of all of the hosting gig. Well, harder than the SP's harder than the correspondence dinner, harder than in my opinion. I think SP's is tough, but because you have all of the different sports in there, you can, you can hop scotch around and be more general, but Steve Harvey is done. He did NFL honors for a couple of years and he would have a killer joke and they would cut to the crowd and it would just be a 22 year old millionaire just staring at it. But Steve didn't give a fuck, he's already got the money, he has enough cash that he's never bombing, but dude, you know, I saw, I saw a headline, Cooper flag, number one overall pick for the Mavs. It was like a big deal. Like his mom wants to be, you know, financially responsible. So she's limiting his first car purchase to 180 grand and I was like, wow, just 180k for a car. It's like, yeah, you should do that on a rookie contract. I don't care how rich you are. You're a child. You need around $500,000 whip, you know, it's like, come on, at one point though, I'll let that crowd it. My God. Oh, yeah, they want the reaction. Oh, that's brutal. It's just all just like smirk as Paul Rudd will bail you out of a bomb. Is it? Where is it? It's a tough gig. Yeah, bro. I would, I would put the NFL honors gig ahead of any other award show gig just because football players have the worst into humor, you save all sport and my, there's just the toughest to crap because they're the most warrior driven. They're the most strong, you know, so laughing somehow is a weakness or showing, yeah, that's your vulnerable. Yeah. Well, did you see Jeff Ross? I got to say he did a pretty good shack roast. He had a great set. He tried to peel the microphone. And he said, you're not. No, that was, that was the Emmett Smith roast. Was that the Emmett Smith? The shack was there. Fuck. He did some. Yeah, he did. I mean, those are jokes that would not fly. Shout out up if you can't just the reaction of they're all dying. Shack is loving it. That's because Jeff Ross will come in and just be edgy and they said, "Damn that white boy crazy." Yeah, it's exactly. Every joke is just, "Damn that white boy." Yeah. Even that white boy said that shit right there. Right. Oh, wow. This roast was action-packed. Bro, you had Dick Gregory Jeff Ross. Shack. Shack loves stand-up, man. Monique. Yeah, he used to have a stand-up show, didn't he? Yeah, he had. Come on. No audio there. Fuck. Fuck. He said it's such a good line that Fox did the triple-H. He just won a priest collar. He wouldn't have these problems today. A little pito joke. Yeah. The white guy's still out on the black show is money. That is a great spot. It is. It's basically two reasons. First reason is I'm a big, big fan of yours. Second reason is Shack sent me a beautiful letter saying he wanted me to come and it was really from Shack because it was signed to S.H.A.C.K. Shack is a fucking national treasure. Shack, man. You look good. You look good. Congratulations. Your knuckles look great. Did you walk in? Jesus Christ. He doesn't even flush. There's no anger. That is fucking. That is a joke. That's a joke you can't do to that. No. I don't think so. Eh. At a roast, you think, Roy? At a black roast. Black people just take shit a little different and also. The Atlantic would write a piece about it, but the black crowd would like it. Right, right. Yeah. The Guardian would try to ruin your life. Yeah. Yeah, the Guardian. The black people would be like, no, it's funny. Yeah. He came in and he got me. Yeah. Shack is such a good fucking sport, dude. I mean. Who's funny? A Shack or Barkley? Barkley. Barkley's funny. Shack's funny. But Shack is more like goofy funny. Barkley is fucking. Barkley is funny in that grandad that doesn't want to be bothered. Yes. But you keep fucking with him. And so then he finally just says some slick shit. Right. And tell you what, the big girl's down and sending Tony up. They eat ribs. Anyway. Let's just keep it moving. But I think it's Barkley's funny comes in the forum in which he chooses to say the things. Yeah, yeah. And then he'll get, she'll get pushback and flak for saying everything. And he's like, what? They are fat. That's like a rebuttal. I love them. But no, I don't know, man, like roasting. That's just such a specific skill set. That was just never my thing. Like back in my daily show, hey, days, they would always ask me to come do the roast. Really? You turned down Comedy Central? I'm going to sit there. Which one do you turn down? It was David Spade. And there was, which was one before Bruce Willis. There was a, there was a David Spade. It might have been Charlie Sheen. Oh, that was a big one. Anything. I was daily show. Let's just say 2015 to 2022. So like anything from 2015 to like 2018. Hmm. Let's see what we got. They probably asked me to do. Man, she's talking about. Watch the whole thing. I got it. Yeah, I got to watch. Where is it? Shit. Docs come out too fast now. A lot. I know. It used to be. But at least that's a life worth a doc. There's a lot going on. Yeah. That guy is, that guy has lived through some shit, dude.
- God bless the father. - Do they make it? - His father's like a saint, dude. - He is. - Do they make him sympathetic? Does it make you for bad for Charlie Sheeners? Is it just him like having accountability? 'Cause some docs are just a subliminal apology. - Yeah, there's a little of that, but it's mostly like holy shit, what a ride. And he's so likable and charming that you're all in. - Yeah, it seems like his ex-wives don't even hate him. - Yeah. - For a guy who lives that hard, and we're smoking crack and fucking around, and for all his ex-wives to be like, "Eh, he's a good guy." - I saw the one clip online where they said, yeah, there it is, Roblo, Roblo, Roblo was the one, 'cause I was 2016, I was at Daily Show, and then the Bruce Willis one. I don't know, I just felt like I would just sit there. - Bruce doesn't remember any of the jokes at least. - He would just sit there. - Also, also like this is after Patrice died, so I know y'all need it, a new fat guy to throw Doc B.E. jokes at, like I'm not gonna fight him. - Yeah, no. - Yeah, no, that's true. - Yeah, look at that, little rail was the only black person. I was like, "No, can I finna sit me here?" - I don't even remember real on it. - Don't sit. - And hit me with all of it, like no. And like that's just such a random cast of people, all respectful, all respected resumes, but I just don't know if you could set up a line of that random for somebody black in a steam. You're not gonna roast Bruce Willis. Who's a black action, the Wesley Snipes? - Hmm, tech. - Who are you gonna, who are you gonna sit, but okay, but what 10 black people that he won't get up and punch in the fucking face, 'cause you don't know me enough to make that joke. - Right. - And the people who know are not coming. - Are you signed up for a roast? You kind of got it, if you sign up. 'Cause I heard Netflix is like trying to put together another roast, and one of the people they really wanted was Will Smith, and I'm like, "He's not, he's not really famous for taking jokes well. I don't know if you're so aware." - That's a good point. - He's not the best. - He seems like the type that would, you know what, that would be smart for Will Smith to do that. - That's true, it's show he can take it now. - Yeah, but you're gonna be looking over the whole, after every joke, you're gonna be like looking over. - Yeah. - Like is he best? - If Jade is there, that would change everything. - Yeah, they would go. - What do you think she would allow that shit? It literally every joke would be about how she's a whore and he's gay. That's every joke. - Yeah. - And your kids are weird, like they'll find every nerve to hit him with, but if he sat there and took that shit, it would be like-- - It takes a bunch of allium right before, just making combative. - I'll ask out. - This isn't the right comparison, but if Will Smith did a Netflix roast in the spirit of, hey, you know, come get Tardin Feather and come on back into the fold of society, it would be similar to when Steve Renazizi did roast battle. - Hmm. - He battled. - Yeah. - In the sense of, Granite Renazizi was not, so-- - In the sense that it won't really work. - It won't really work. - You don't think it worked? - A little bit, I don't know. - Well, with the comedy community or with the public-- - I think comics are fine with that. I think it was, but I think it's more like the, I think in the grand scheme of things. No, I don't think it, he was bigger before. I think it, no, I think that was-- - So it's kind of like a delia thing where you were bigger before the thing happens and then whatever happens-- - This is still the same. It sells a lot of tickets in the road, doesn't it? - Yeah, he still sells, but I mean, in terms of this guy, he's built his audience, so I mean, he's got that, but I wonder though, like with Renazizi at that time, I mean, since she was there, I always felt like in the comedy community, I saw it as, okay, well, he owned it. - Hmm. - So whatever, so whatever, finger wag, I mean, Granite considering you think about what a scandal is now, if the Renazizi shit happened today, it wouldn't even be a fucking thing. Like, in fact, you could lean into that shit and sell more tickets. - That was something weird about that too, is like the way you plan those pieces, those hit pieces, like the New York Times, like, we'll have it come out the day of his special. - Yeah. - In comedy, you know what I mean? You got to pull the special now. - It's kind of like the Hassan Minhaj, the Daily Show, which was the week before the writer strike ended and they were gonna announce him as host or whatever. - Oh wow. - So like-- - It's a big game hunting. We can get 'em, we'll get 'em taken out. - We're literally the last thing the journalists have now. That's all they, I mean, that's like the days of Edward R. Murrow or Gone, so they're like, "What do we have?" And we could take this dude down. - Right, I'm Mary Weiss. - Yeah, Pablo Torres, he seems like Pablo Torres on his job. - If he fucking goes after Brunson, dude. So, Pablo, you fucking step back. - Everybody likes Pablo 'til he goes after their team. - Yeah. - I remember, this is a random name drop, but I'm friends with Ruben Stuttert, one of these roles. - Whoa, old school, how's he doing? - He's from Birmingham, he's straight, he tours, and like he makes a ton of money overseas. - It looks good. - Yeah, yeah, Ruben. - Wow. - Ruben up on y'all. - He was the first-- - Ruben got a wife, she cooked good for him, he got a child to live for. - Oh. - His life is good, man. - You did? - Yeah, great dude, man. - Great voice. - And so, so he was touring with Clay Aiken for a minute. They were doing like a two-man thing for a while a couple of years ago, but now he just touring solo. But Ruben, I got to talking about that first season of "American Idol." Do you remember this girl named Frinchy? - No. - There was a contestant named Frinchy in season one, and they kicked her off the show 'cause somebody found a nude picture of her. It'd be the equivalent, and it was a huge scandal, like '02? - Oh, yeah. - They was like, "Oh, no, can you believe?" Yeah. - Whoa, topless. - And later that year on "The Super Bowl," Janet Jackson whipped out her tattoo. - Yeah, disqualified early in the season due to "Topless Photos" found earlier in her career. - That is me pretty fucked up. - Catch me outside, girls, the number one only fan. - Hawk tours and all of that shit, all right. - Yeah, I suck dick. Download my podcast, like-- - But what happened to her, though? - It's wild. - 'Cause it'll work for a minute, but is there staying power in that-- - But when you're talking about staying power, most people are just trying to hit a lick. Like the average American only makes three million before they die. - Yeah, you know, I just think-- - Or if you want to get cute for inflation. - Right, so if you can hit any-- - That's a lot of a ticket. - That works for one. There's a lot of people that could stop and say, "Narly shit," into a mic. And you know, like, she won a lot of a ticket with that. - But I think he's-- - And it didn't. - The nudity would not get you, that would help your career now. - No, no, I totally get the point you're making. I'm saying even in now, you know, it works for a minute, but it's, and it's very rare that it works. - It's short money. - It's short money. - Yeah, yeah. - Look at Monica Lewinsky. Her whole fucking character assassination, tarnished. - She'd be a victim now. - Yeah, she was-- - She was really mocked. She was young as fuck. Like, she was kind of treated like the home record and piece of shit. - Now you wanna talk about some jokes? You go back and go. - Oh. - Lino monologues. - Lino was on her neck. - Remember Rox Bitho? When he goes, "This whole thing is at least fault." - Yeah. - That was a work type of man you have. She put the whole country in danger. You're the first lady. You gotta be the first one you need to suck his dick. - Yeah. - A pause and a roar. - That was a great bit, though. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - That one holds up. - Yeah. - That's the pal at a chunk on Monica. - Oh, well, we'll be right back to suck that dick or whatever it was. - Man, Monica Lewinsky, man. That was-- - Well, she's gonna suck this any of utopia. That was it. - Yeah, I just think it's interesting how we retroactively try to cancel people for stuff we found, but we never try to like retroactively, forgive us of the word, but hey, that's a great point. - That's a great point. - Sorry about that. We shunned you, you showed your titties. Sorry about that. Come on back for season 30 of American Idol, Frenchie. - Yeah. - Well, it's hard to remove a scarlet letter, you know? - Yeah. - I mean, once it's on there, it's kind of like, you know, it's like having a DUI charge. And, you know, it's still gonna be on that Google, top 10. - Oh, I know. As I put it in Canada, they bring up the credit card from 98 that I stole. - Damn. - And it got worse like after the last election, like, do you all say the word, Trump, am I allowed to say the word? - Please. - It's gonna help you out. - That would Trump start it for you, the transcription. (laughing) Would Trump start fucking with them tariffs and all that immigration shit? Like, Canadian customs, like, I've never been grilled, the way I've been grilled, in the last, like, year, just trying to get into that country. - Wow. - Over a credit card. - How about getting back in? Is it easy to get back in? - It's a piece of cake. - They don't mind. - Get back in. I made jokes. My tour manager was furious at me. We were going through security. And he'd go, the guy recognized me, and he'd go, "Sam, how was Canada?" And I'd go, "I know just some human trafficking." And my tour manager's like, "What the fuck are you doing? "It's still custom-fue idiot." But they all laughed, I was like, "All right, we're good." - Yeah. I don't care on the way back. - On the way back, you're good. The way in, you got to be a little bit like, "We'll be on our best day here." - I think also the Canada, though, it also matters what city you fly into. - What are the bad ones, you think? - I think Toronto and Montreal are super strict. - Why is that? - I don't know, I feel like just more Americans probably come there to party and goof off and do other shit. - Right. - Those are two pretty damn good cities. - Great towns. - Then Kuver, I found to be very laid back, not tripping in the lease, like, you have to get, like, if you've been convicted of a felony in America, that would get you more than 10 years in prison in Canada, you have to get paperwork to prove that you are no longer one, is it, for any crimes in America? But you have to get that paperwork from every state in which you've ever resided. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - To get that paperwork, you have to physically go to that state to request that paperwork. And then once you have all of that paperwork, you send it to Canadian Customs and then,
and they review your application and decide whether or not you can come in to tell the jokes at Montreal. - Wow. - And so I kept coming back into Canada at different mile markers in that process, but I hadn't fully yet done all of the forgiveness paperwork yet. And like it is a fucking paint. Like Europe don't give a fuck, like you tell you was cool, but-- - Oh, the Flandin' Alondon is a bitch now, dude. - Is it? - They made it harder for sure. Yeah, there's this weird process, yeah. - Oh, yeah, you need a UK permit that you have to go online online. - And if you get into the wrong line, if you're just getting to that line, they just told you have the country, and they're like, "Oh, but I'm here, what the fuck?" But my aim was to just like, "Do not get in that line." I was like, "All right." - Did you go yet? - No, this was last time. - Oh, okay, wow, weird. - But no, I didn't find it that weird. - They were pretty intense when I was there, but maybe they dialed it back a little, I don't know. - Is it more because you were there for business and they're like-- - Well, you were there for business? - Yeah, yeah. - The most I got was audience is like, "What's up with your boy, Trump?" And I'm like, "Let me text him." I don't know, what do you want me to do? - Yeah, but Joel are like touring on set. I'd show up for, I'm just now doing my first solo shows in London in December. I normally show up as part, I always show up as part of a festival, or I'm hired for BBC shit. And so I just have a sheet of paper from the BBC. - Yeah. - Those mommy said I could come and just make a really bad, so I don't get finger fucked the way you guys do. - Well, is that BBC? - Who knows? (laughing) But yeah, I know what you mean. - What, how is this seeing an intro going for you? - It's good, man. - Yeah, I mean, it's season two, right? - Three, we're going into episode 30 by the end of this year, by the end of this run. You know it's a remake of the British show. - Oh. - The British version's been running for 30 years. - They love a panel show in England. - Yeah, that's why we were nervous about this shit even working, but I'd already quit daily shows. I'm like, "Shit, we'll try it." - Was there any fear leaving the daily show where you kind of like, "I've done my time there, I'm good." - No, there was no fear. It's a comic, you know, like every seven, eight years, you have to evolve or change or whatever. I mean, to me, the fear is part of what's happening now with Colbert, right? Where all the shit that's happening now, I thought was going to happen three years ago. Like the Viacom Paramount merger, that's been in motion for years. So when I decided to quit, I was like, "Oh, the merger's gonna happen and then they're gonna cut costs." And when you cut costs, you cut staff. And the first staff you cut is the most senior staff. They're gonna fire me. And if they get a new host, what if the new host doesn't like, "Fuck it, I'm leaving now." And I'll find something else now 'cause it's an election year. 'Cause if they're gonna do a new show, you do it during an election year. And it's only been two new political satire shows. It was us and after midnight. That's the only thing that's been, and they're gone. So. - That's political? - Well, it's late night, non-scripted panel, whatever. - All right. - So the idea of if I'm gonna find something after Daily Show, let me just find it now. But seeing it, it's happy, ratings are solid. It's a Saturday night show. So the bar is low in terms of what we need to do. - Did you audition for it or were you just kind of pick for it? - I'm met with the producers. I'm sure they met with some other folks. And then we just discussed the concept, and then they made me an offer. But there was no like, audition, screen test, or. - That's amazing. - So sick of those. - Any of that other shit. - And you probably got some sweet suits, look at you. - I don't know, man. They'd be stingy with 'em. - Oh, yeah. - How do we, what do you mean? - Well, you know, you get fit it for really nice suits to wear on the show, but they all still stay in like, a wardrobe closet at CNN. So I don't really get them, but I stole all my daily shows suits. - Yeah. - Good for you. - When you're on those shows, they just give you suits. - We're not CNN, 'cause at least not check. Maybe season four, I'll get to keep the suits. But right now, the wardrobe lady has the keys to that. Like if I called her right now, "Hey, let me get the green suit from episode 21. I'm gonna wear it on Sherry Shepherd." - Well, I don't know if we can. Let me see if I can get that cleared. - So it's a lot of that shit. - Right, right. 'Cause if I fuck up this, I don't know. I don't know what they do with the suits. I get them custom that, like the cut for me, it's not like unless you fucking replace me with Keenan Thompson, who's it gonna fit? - You're not that big. (laughing) - But can I ask a weird cultural question? - Yeah. - All right, so I've noticed that my black brother in sticks with TV, they like the industry, and the honkeys have gone more internet. I see like Jordan Fisher, he's a friend of mine, he's open for me, and he's doing a YouTube special, and I was like, "It's about fucking time." He's like, "Well, nobody would buy my special." And I'm like, "Welcome to our world." Like we shot a YouTube special five years ago. - Yeah. - I feel like less black guys shoot YouTube, and they want to wait for that industry, not. - I think there's still perceived value in industry acceptance by some black comics, that's part of it. The other half is lack of knowledge or recon or sharing of resources amongst black comics as well. - Oh really? - So the idea of shoot a YouTube special, okay, well, how and what do you do? - I'll tell, I'll tell. - Everybody asks like, "I shot it, I uploaded it." No, you didn't, you'd set, you worked it with clips, and then you chopped that 60 down into 90 seconds, and then you put those up at certain times, and then you tagged it, you sponsored a couple of posts, like there was a full digital strategy, and YouTube is nothing like Facebook or Instagram, where black people thrive, where a lot of black and especially young ones thrive. Like I would say, somebody like, say, country Wayne would be a good example to back up what you're talking about. Yeah, country Wayne's huge, and then Netflix came knocking, and you said, "I'll take that, I'll take that little bit of money." - We did the same thing. - Because there's still some sort of prestige to, oh, with the industry in life. - Of course. - With this at the industry, probably doesn't matter that much. - You dip your toes in both worlds. I mean, I think Tim Dylan's a great example of that, a guy who built this huge internet following, but then every once in a while, I was like, "I should do an Netflix thing, just to be in both worlds." There was a value to that as well. - So I did my third, I did my fourth special with Hulu. I'm just having me talk about it. The Hulu special, I could have done solo, but I opted to do it with Hulu because they were just now starting to do stand-up, and I need audience. My biggest, the gift and curse of the daily show is that you only have time to do the daily show. And then my first three specials were on Comedy Central, which I would argue, y'all were blessed to not get chosen by Comedy Central because they show your shit. - They flushed it down the toilet. - Though they bitch in the attic. - They really were living like it was 1992. - Yeah. - They were really like, here's one, here's one airing of that thing you work for years on. - Yeah. - Didn't you feel crazy being like, "Hey, watch my shit at 11, on Friday." - Yeah, on Friday. - On a Friday. - Done at 11, and you're like, "I have plans, I'm not gonna be." - Yeah, exactly. - And you're like, "Well, then you can't ever see it." - Ever again. - And then-- - And then you have three cuts of it. - Yeah. - You're like, "This is the short version." You're like, "All right, this is fucking. - I'll see, I guess I have to cut that tag. - That's a crucial interruption. - Yeah, limited commercial. - So extended? - Yeah. - Dude, it was insane. That's like a two-week edit. - I know. - A 50, a 47, and a 43. - Yeah, and the whole time, you're just like, "I have to cut, "I have to shorten a joke." - I know. - So the only way you see the 60 is if you watch it online, assuming you have, at that time, the Comedy Central app, then my second special was CBS All Access, then my third special was Paramount Plus. And there was a time when Paramount Plus first started, and you searched for my name, only one of the three specials came up. - Geez. - Waiting on the code, waiting on the tech to catch up. - Yeah. - It was fucking horrible. They called it a disaster. - And I got all the Hulu has a network of shit, and overseas, it'll air. That's the other thing. Comedy Central was Geo was-- - You couldn't watch it in Canada. - Geo fenced. So your shit didn't air in Europe for another four months, because the American subscribers have first dibs on the, because it's a cable model. - Dude, I was the first comic Comedy Central to work at. Well, you have to put my special on your website, at least. So people without cable can watch, and they were like, "Deal." And I said, "And no ads." And they were like, "Okay, dude, you looked it up." I shit, you know, there was like a three minute ad every two minutes. - Yeah. - It was mental. - It was like, I was like, "What the fuck is it?" I told him like, "Dude, we're competing with Netflix "over here." This was like the beginning of Netflix, but I was like, "You gotta, like, there's no ads there. "Now ads are coming to all of them now." It's like, you know, I did my last one with Amazon, and it was like, the year I decided to go with Amazon, after I signed the contract, they're like, "Oh, we're doing ads now. "If everyone doesn't play the extra, like $4 a month "or whatever." And I was just like, ugh, fuck. You're better off on Al Jazeera. - Yeah. - It's like, "What are we doing here?" - Yeah, I would argue though, for a lot of comics, I don't even think you need a special. I just think you need volume and repetition. Like, that's my approach to start next year. - Really, so you're done with special? - Well, I want to do a one-man show at some point, but I think the visuals of how I put that together got to be different, so I'm kind of studying Alyssa Deeg, I'm studying Bribiglia, Jeff Ross. I just went to see his live joint, Banana Broughtway Show, he's doing it. - Oh yeah, yeah. - So, to see, well, what are all of the creative possibilities? But in the meantime, just stand up. You put out seven, eight minutes every other week. For me, I'm not Josh Johnson with it. I don't have that type of-- - Crazy. I
hesitate to say autistic output. I'll say locked in. Yeah, there you go. That's how you say on the spectrum without saying just that boy locked in locked in. So for me, I think any comic is better off just doing 15s every month or maybe the news every month. I mean, that way you take the 15 or the 10 minute bit. You chopped that bitch down till couple 90 seconds to put it everywhere. We're basically program, we're network programmers for our own content across multiple platforms. But then you have to learn all of that. And I don't think in the black comedy community, there's nearly as much of a sharing of knowledge as it is on the white side. And then there's also a lot of ages among the black side. I don't know how y'all, y'all wrong. But like, Earthquake should be way bigger, but he's old. Okay. So then you, you look at COVID, COVID to me was the perfect time where black older black comics. And you correct me if white comics was doing this shit too, but in the black comedy community, it was a lot of older black comics who have been talking about shit about the Instagram niggas and all the Facebook cats and all that they're doing it too. Okay. And so then then that fucking pandemic hit and you have to sit your ass down and all of a sudden you and I were doing the little selfie camera. Yeah, you should have been here with it. So I think that there isn't necessarily a sharing of resources or pooling together. Like there should be multiple 85 South shows, you know, Ryan Davis, I forgive me, Ryan for not remembering the podcast you're on, but he was talking about the fact that there's beef in black comedy and there's so few black comics. And then you'll have the audacity to beef, which is why there'll never be another Harlem night. Because you can't put all your differences aside to come and do one thing together. Right. Well, you even Cosby didn't like Eddie Murphy and then hated Richard prior. Yeah, but Eddie, but Eddie helped out rock, you know, that's true. And then, you know, I think, and then rock and she'll tell us that I think there is a, you know, a kinship, but you're right. I think I have seen like cat willing just to do this too, right? He's also like talked a lot of shit. Yeah, but cat, cat Williams is interesting, though, in that without knowing the numbers on other comedians, I would say cat Williams and Kevin Hart have probably created more homeowners in the black community than any other comedian. Interesting. Just in terms of volume of comics that have worked for them. Like, I mean, cat carries usually like four openers, but they hate each other, cat and Kevin, right? As far as last I checked, yeah, what's what day is it today? Some days they're at peace the next day, my caps and then it's, it's always you thought you never know. Yeah, you thought they broke it or true. And then someone throws a missile and another camp. I just, I don't know, man, I hate it, but I try to talk to the youngins to figure out what they're doing, what their outlook is on the ship. Because you got to grow it because at the end of the day, I mean, seeing into blessing, but all this shit could get snatched right now. And that's what I, that's why the internet. That's why I put like Ali Sadiq, you mentioned in Josh Johnson, two guys on YouTube, two guys killing it. Yeah. So you meet like a like you talk to Ian Laura. I'm like, get a pod going. Do you do a YouTube? He does a pod, doesn't he? I don't think he does. I think he does. Oh, shit. You know, also though, it's, I think, you know, you're right. Yeah, he's got one. We adult with Ian Laura. I've never heard of it. Then I can't wait to start listening. Well, I love Ian. So anyway, anyway, he's the industry guys waiting for HBO Spanish or he's doing other stuff. You know, I mean, look, it's a grind, man. It's a grind. But that's why we do have to kind of have each other's backs because you see these the specials. I think you're right. They're going to go down and down each year because it's certain points going to be like comedy movies where it's like, like, we got a backlog. We're good. We don't need like, why are they not making comedy movies? They're it's like when Rain Wilson was here, people watching the office still people, though we watch us a girl special or something. We don't need to buy this many like, don't buy them still, but not at the same clip. I don't think. And so you do have to help each other because the internet's not going anywhere. We can keep putting out clips, specials. I'm still kind of married to the idea of specials. I like working towards something that at the end of the tour, after you hit everywhere, you hone it, you make it better as you go. And then you that here it is. And you present that. And you have and you have a body of work. But where we present it is where the rules now change. Right. And so if you're waiting for industry to choose you, you got to have an audience first before they'll even consider you have for the food. That's true. So you have to build an audience. And so I feel like a daily show, there was there was a comfort that there's there's definitely a degree of comfort because every year I was basically on an overall deal of a comedy central. So all my scripted shows, every script I sold, every movie I sold was through Paramount. And then I had daily show. And every time I read it with daily show, you give me another special. And oh man, but nobody watched that one. But you paid me a little bit more for this one. So I'll stay with your coach. Oh, nobody really watched that one. But you paid me even more for this third when I'll stay around. And you lose eight years of audience traction because for whatever numbers, I guarantee you whatever the fuck numbers, my first special deal that I'll tell you, the it's public Nilsen. My second special was the highest rated premiere for a special at comedy central. And I think I did maybe a point seven share, which is 700,000 people. Oh, that's good. That's fucking YouTube numbers. Yeah. How do you know how Friday night live in the chance? But that's 0.7 leaping with the DVR. And let's just say DVR plus three, which for the industry, for the folks around the industry, they do ratings on how many people watch that night. And then within the next three days, how many people watch it in their DVR DVR plus three for me was maybe a point nine. So. But then what about like the first one? Can they watch like father figure? Is that on YouTube now? It's YouTube free now. But the numbers of my old specials on YouTube are higher than what they ever were cumulative on broadcast. Yeah, it's because it's easier to click a length and it is to set a fucking timer. Okay. So then I should have took fucking 30k and shot that bitch myself. And if I had to shot that bitch myself in 2016, what the fuck would that number be by now? Millions. It'd be five, six million. Yeah, but you know what? Yeah, the business was changing and we didn't know, like you know, I had YouTube success with our 2020 specials, but it was an act of desperation. It wasn't like business savvy on our part. It was like, I'm done with this hour. It's either this. But that's where the innovation comes, which is why like, yes, I need to quit. I quit. What are you going to do? I don't fucking know. Yeah. But anyway, you can see we always do special on CNN at midnight on Wednesday, which I would never. You know who did a special scene in the Mason? Yeah. Colin Quinn. I was like, this is the right place for that. Yeah. Yeah. And more people should have seen it. Yeah. Red and blue. The more people should have seen that one. Yeah. Yeah. Colin is so, so good. I think he's one of my. But for what these networks pay for an hour and what you could shoot it for yourself, but you only feel that confidence if you're empowered with the informational monetization. Most cats ain't sharing that knowledge. There's no master class for how to do stand-up shit. We'll share it. We'll share it. Step over the race line. Fucking shoot us a DM or something. I'll talk to any young comic who's like really, really wants to outfuck an answer. But it's the old ones that need it. Like there's comics that still make flyers. I know. Three periods as their sole way of reaching people. I'm like, okay, but you need a clip, man, you need to hear the bridge fossil. DVDs out of your trunk. I just, I don't know. I hate it. I hate it that there's not an evolution. Like I know, where you're speaking to an action, man. Maybe, maybe people will, like, I think your energy has always been like, let's talk, let's help each other. I think that's what we hopefully are putting out there as well, you know? Do you ever hear a wall of, do you ever hear a wall of not wanting to help people anymore for feeling like you haven't helped yourself enough? Like I feel like my reputation in the industry amongst comics is nice guy helpful. Yeah. Okay. Cool. I try to help when I can. And, oh, you need to know how to work or you hit a problem with a book or his, what I think you should do. But then I start thinking, well, you know what? If I can learn all of this. And if I sit down with you, I give you all of this fucking game and you don't apply it, it infuriates me. It's fucking infuriates me because why did you ask? I know, I know what you mean, where it's like these people, sometimes that they're like, hey, can I pick your brain? You're like, yeah, sure. And then they just kind of talk at you. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, you didn't, well, you just wanted to complain. Yeah. So I have a day job and two dogs. I can't really get out to open mics. But I still want to, how do I get a manager? And you're like, well, you got to write and get up and hone it and find a voice. But also you also, you just have to be like, with your time, because you feel like you wasted your time then, right? So you have to be like, is this person, you have to open with, will you take this seriously? Yeah. And then if they don't, then they don't, but you have to just like, I guess, use your judgment there. Well, it's a comic down south. My fucker told me he moved in New York till he has an agent.
and manager. - That's what I'm saying. - I don't know, okay. Well, the way to get one is to build an audience for yourself. - By the way, what is a manager gonna do if you have no fucking audience? You have to. - Or an act. - Yeah, like just try to make, try to make something happen. - But I'm not taking advice from you. You were at the Daily Show too long. - Yeah, yeah, I was just, I allowed my comedy for the opportunities that the Daily Show and Selling scripts allow me, I traded having my stand-up siloed for a decade. - Right. - Three specials that cumulatively don't even touch what my who-special did globally. - Wow, that's great. - That's on me, you know what I'm saying? So, first thing you do is reshoot all of those jokes. I don't know who gave me that. - I don't know who gave me that. Yeah, rerecord all the songs. I'm gonna rerecord all three of my specials. - You gotta relearn all those beats, so that's tough. - I know, oh my God, you've grown from that guy. 'Cause the day you finish a special, - Yes, the joke is gone. You can't even do it. - There's some facial expressions I make in early specials, and I'm like, I don't fucking do that anymore. If you see a face you make, you're like, and I'm just like, oh my God, what the fuck was that shit? - Yeah, yeah. - I remember, I did, Amy Schumer produced both Mark and I's first hour special on Comedy Central. There was the only reason they even looked at our hours back then, and I remember she was like, if you were animated in this joke, and you see a couple, if you watched that, where I'm just like, yeah, you know. - She didn't do a thing like that face. - Yeah. - She said, you don't smile, you're a serial killer, I was like. (laughing) - I remember. - Yeah. - Amy had two fucking-- - Well, she was so good with Marley Williams' stuff. - Yeah. - She was so good with expressions on this joke. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think she wanted, she was just trying to help, but it was like, but it wasn't us. - She can act too, we can't really act. - We gotta fucking chance. But yeah, that's what I think more comic should do, is just go, hey, here's what I do, and I think this works and helps me with monetization. It helps me reach more people. And I just don't think that a lot of comics, older comics, I don't think that they are all convinced that they need to learn that. - Yeah, I know. - Well, it's like a second job, dude. And it's like, I'll talk with the fears of AI and stuff with like, you know, replacing our standup, but like, there might be benefits to some of this shit with marketing and stuff, but it can take some of the load off us. I hope, I don't know. I'm just trying to get the message here. - So at Montreal this year, we gave George Wallace like a lifetime achievement, or like, he got some big super duper highest trophy, you can get, he deserves it. - Yeah, he's a funny dude. - And I'm doing, I'm writing this introduction. I just started looking at the decades of work he's put in and that motherfucker evolved and pivoted every time. He's probably, I don't, somebody could Google it, I would bet you he is the oldest comedian on Twitter. That's active. - Oh, damn. - I'm trying to think of old, maybe Lewis Black. I don't know the age differential between it, but I feel like George Wallace been around longer than Lewis Black. - I think right on Twitter. - Starting a business is exciting, but it's easy to get overwhelmed with the details. That's why there's Shopify. It's the commerce platform behind Mattel and Jim Shark and millions of other businesses around the world. 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[email protected]. Must be 21 or older to order. Warning, nicotine is an addictive chemical. Zip more smoke less with Zypix nicotine. Toothpix. - And that's what I'm saying. So you learn it. You figure out which of these platforms works for your stand-up, but George Wallace, man, he has three generations of people coming to see him and then you only do that if you can reinvent constantly. I feel like gaffer against hit a second wave and went back to the fan pool to get another wave of young talent. Like John Witherspoon, he used to have droves of grandchildren at the show. Like, movies in the boondocks held. - Correct. - For that stuff. - But it's like, what do you do as a stand-up to keep fun in the audience? And so if you're a comic of a certain age, talking about a certain thing, then somebody under that age ain't fucking with it. And if you outlive your audience, or you outlive your audience's desire to continue to go see live shit, if you put the floor at 60, maybe 65. And let's share the king of all the 65. Like, and let's share a sign fill where everybody over 50 fucks with you. - Yeah. - Then you're losing, like, 'cause like, when you're a comic and you're in your 30s, I would argue the swath of customers probably 25 to 55. And as you get older, your floor comes up. And then at a certain point, you're just the guy that if your humor has not evolved and you're not talking about newer, younger shit, 22 and 24-year-olds are gonna come see you. - That's true. - And so how do you reinvent and or expand your reach within the demographic that fucks with you? Those are the only two ways to sustain. And to decade, if we're talking about going into decade, number three, in your career, then at some point, you've got to find more people because less people are going out after a certain fucking moral marker. - But don't you feel like with the internet, you can go, who is this guy? They can find you. If you probably should online, young people can find it online. - If you put it out. - Yes, that's what you got to do. - You're not making those TikToks, but you're just like, I'm sad. You just do one of those things. (laughing) - Sad. And then people like this guy's talking about mental health. I reach the young people. - You're right, you're right. - Yeah, you just gotta play a little fucking chapel-roan over it. - Yeah, I don't know, man. Find the shit you like to do. Figure out the platform where it lives best and do that shit over and over again. - Yeah. - Yes, rents, for sure. - So, I don't know. - But I do think that people like, you find new people every day with like an old clip even. It'll be like, oh, who's this guy? - Oh yeah, well, cypher. I open for him and he was like, thank God for commencing cars. I don't know if I'd be relevant without it. I'm like, your show comes on 17 times a day. You're fine. - It's a new thing. - Oh, he had to reinvent. It's the fun and the new thing, man. And I wonder if he even knew that that's what he was doing when he did it, when he started it. That shit was a web, so it was on like crackle. - Crackle. - Crackle was just some fuck off. Like, I'm not shitting on crackle. But like, this wasn't like, yeah, I'm gonna do it here. I think we're gonna get acquired. And we're gonna do it. - And how the hell did Jerry not get a better network than crackle? Maybe that's just shit. That's like a question. Funny or die was still popping back then, right? - Yeah. - But it's also weird that like, I literally just thought a crackle was like that Halloween candy. - Oh, that shit. - That with Mr. Goodbar and the Hershey's Dark. - The Dark, the Red one. - Yeah, crackle, dude. - Love crackle. - Chapter seven, bankruptcy for crackle TV. - Yeah. - The period of 2020, 24. I'm so sad that you say crackle. I think cracklings, which is pork cry. - Yeah. - Damn, wow, Jerry really slumbered it with crackle, but they probably gave him an ass load of money. And that's what I think. - And people still watched it. There were no ads, right? Just clicked on it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And the episodes were only 10 minutes, so there was no science to it even being created to live anywhere but crackle. - Yeah, he just didn't give him a fuck, man. - It was a weird show when it came out. Like, you're gonna be driving around. What? This means hand cards, hand coffee. - But he loves, he loves cards. It was like a way to just like be like, I like this shit. - Exactly. - Find what you love, find a place where it can live and do it over and over again. - Yeah, then by the end of it he's got Murphy on, he should peel on all the big head. - I wonder if he one was good. - Right. - That was a good app. - I won't name names, but you can tell the episodes of comedians and cars where he doesn't give a fuck about. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Who he's with. - And you can tell what he's asking about. - I don't think he asked him. I feel like that was some Netflix. - It looked like, hey, listen, we need to get this person right here. - Right.
- They're new, they're good. You'll like 'em. - He's like a Z's what? Who's sorry? - Yeah, legit, like it's like shit like that, where it's like these are legends, but he just doesn't know 'em because they're not in his bubble. - He had a Pat and Oswald on, and we just had Pat and our fans, and he was like, "So you do that like weird kind of comedy? "You're like a weird alternative guy," and he's like, "What?" (laughing) - I've been around for 30 minutes. - That's a 2003 question for Pat. - Yeah, it's me. What's this new ult? - Yes, exactly. - Brian Pulsing, tell me about. (laughing) - So you could tell he wasn't too familiar with his work. - Yeah, I think Seinfeld shines best when he's talking to my people. He actually connects with and cares about. Look at that shit, 13, 11 seasons. - He's done 11 seasons? - Unbelievable. - Yeah. - Holy shit. I rewatch this all the time, I love it. - I like him with drivace. - That was great. - They've got good chemistry. - I have two of those. Is this Jamie Foxx? - That was a fucking great one. - Great one. Is this Doug Williams? Just kidding. (laughing) - With Jamie doing voiceover, little commentary. - Yeah. - Doug, you can't even do well on a car right now. - He's got that shifting. - Seinfeld doesn't like me. (laughing) - Also another great thing about this show. He had Rickles, he had Jerry Lewis, he had Carl Reiner, and then now they're all dead. So we have another little moment with those guys. - That is a beautiful thing. Like, so, Terry, you know, it's on fresh air. You can look up Terry growing, interviewing like, Henny Youngman. - Whoa. - She's interviewing Henny Youngman. He's talking to fucking what's his name, Jackie Mason. These interviews are just like this. And it's amazing because it's shit that you don't like, look, was Jackie Mason's comedy for me? No, but he still says shit that connects. You're still like, he's a comic, so you're like, wow, you get stuff from all these. I remember when Richard Belzer died, they re-released that fresh air with him and Terry Gross, and he was so good in the interview. I sent it to you. - Yes. - I sent it to you. - Yes. - And list. But yeah, it was, it's cool man. But you're right, you said these need to live somewhere, especially with the OGs. Like, Rickles was still fucking great. - You boys been to the comedy museum in Jamestown. - I have it. - I have it. - I think I'm in it somewhere. I think I did like an interview for it or something. - It's hard to get to. - Yes. - But it's worth it. - I gotta go. - It's two hours from the nearest airport. Like if you go, if you go eerie, - What's the nearest airport? - Eerie or Buffalo, Eerie PA or Buffalo. It's in Jamestown, New York. - It's Lucille Balls hometown. - That's right. - Remember that ugly statue? Lucille Ball pulled it up. - Oh yeah. - It was like the worst statue ever. I know they're hard to make and they're expensive, but look at this shit. - But nah. That shit look like Ronaldo. (laughing) - It does look like Ronaldo. - It looks like the Ronaldo statue. - Yeah, dude. - But what are the highlights of the-- - Lucille Ball locked in. (laughing) - Oh, then we did it. Look at that. - Oh, thank God. (laughing) - The ball was there. - That you got worked up. - It was a beautiful lady. - Beautiful lady, red head. - But yeah, shout out to Lucille 'cause the museum was originally a tribute to her. And then she told the people were building a museum. Fuck that, make it a tribute to all of comedy. - Wow. - And it's literally Smithsonian level artifacts. - Yeah. - I think they have Dangerfield suit. - Yes, they have a bunch of comedy suits in there. - So it's like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but for comedy. - Exactly. - Yeah, but it walked you through each era of comedy and style of comedy and comedians who dominated that style. They don't like set 'em up in like a Mount Rushmore or anything like that. But there's like, they have like a whole exhibit just on working blue. - Right. - In comics who cursed and-- And so then they have a letter. - This is the stool that Bobby Stippen slayed and sniffed after one went to the bathroom. - Right there. - They have letters that Lenny Bruce wrote while he was locked up. - Oh. - And it's bits. This motherfucker's locked up for jokes and he's in jail writing bits. That's fucking beautiful. That's a powerful thing right there. - Pages of Carson jokes and scripts and transcripts and like tell a play or whatever. Dude, I gotta go to this. - It's great. - I was racing Saddle's first draft just on display like the Constitution with the light treated glass so it doesn't get sun faded. Like it's legit a good fucking time. Like if you give a fuck about jokes, they got, it covers everything right up to I say about-- - Got a young one. - Yeah, about Mulaney Kevin Hart is where time on the Kings of Comedy is in there. - Oh yeah. We gotta donate money to move this thing to Queens or something. - Bro, it would be a line out the door every day 'cause it would be closer. But it really is like, my point is, comedians and cars is the closest thing to this. - Uh-huh. - In terms of immortalizing conversations with comedians that were like the hemus of their era or whatever. But it's fast and man. - That is freaking cool man. - Larry Sanders desk. - That is, uh. - That's amazing. I was pretty hungover when I walked through so I feel like I didn't get a full day. - I was there like, I think like two years before they built it 'cause I was there for that festival. - Yeah, it was here by all festivals, yeah. - And I performed in the Copa Cabana. - Yes, yes. - Pretty great. - And I saw a Buzz Brian Regan walk in, I was like, "Fuck, don't bomb in front of Regan, dude." And, uh, no, it's fun as hell though. I mean, they're good people who started this and, uh. - Oh, the puppy shirt with the fucking Emmy. - Yeah, it's Seinfeld. - Imagine when in so many Emmys, you can just go home and fucking put that one in there. - But it's like, it is weird when places like, or in like the basketball hall of fame in Springfield, Massachusetts. - You can't put it in like a slightly Cooper's town for baseball. - Cooper's town. - Well, that's even harder to get. - These are fucking impossible to get to. - Cheap land. - I went to, this is as much as my baseball fan I am, only went because I had to interview Bob Costas for that Roku home run doc earlier this year. And that was a three hour ride from New York. - Copa. - There's no plane, there's no. - Where's Costas not on TV anymore? He was so good. - I don't know. I thought he still pops in here and there, and that's like special. - You're in there, but he's a legend. - He was a great, great broadcaster. And he was very intelligent. Anytime you hear him going to depth on stuff, you're like, - If our Bob Costas, I would be content and picking and choosing when I, you know. - Sure. - Yeah, I'll call that game. You know, let's say a game of the week, and then I got a hand. I said, Yankee's Philly's World Series. Yeah, give me a game, too. (laughing) I believe he just calls in and just calls his shift. Everybody's just happy to have him. - Well, what is your most prized comedy memorabilia? Do you guys have something? - God damn, all right, you go first. What do you get? - Well, let's see. - I clearly got something in mind, right? - I have a photo with Norm and a text that he sent to a friend of mine that said, "I saw this comic, he's hilarious, Mark Norman." So I've put the text in the picture. - Whoa, that's pretty cool. - That was great. What else do I have? - This is gonna sound really corny, but when I was in high school, I went to see David Telecarer lines and he autographed the playbill for me. And I still have that, so that's sentimental, 'cause I was like, my favorite comic, and it was cool then, he's even cooler now. - It's not franget, but I have a picture with Arsenio Hall from the Emmys 2023. - Wow. - '03 Star Search, I bombed. - Pull it up. - And I got ready, oh, you can't find it, baby. (laughing) - You got a good publicity team. - Star Search 2000. - You robbed Delaney this? - Exactly. All you can find is me telling the story of Star Search. You can't even find a clip. Yeah, you got Letterman, that's '07, get bitch. You can't find any episodes of Star Search. - I don't know if you can stream it. - Kevin Brennan one's still lurking around. - I did at Star Search '03. - That's your opinion, it was the whole list. - And I was getting ready to cuss out V2K, 'cause I bombed, but you're like defensive, 'cause people are telling you you sucked. - Right. - And you don't know how to react. And I'm new to television. I'm like, I'm like getting ready to cuss him. (laughing) And Arsenio just gently pulls me back. He just, and through his teeth he just goes, "Uh-oh, oh, that's a friend." - Save my ass, bro. - Damn. - And that's one of those things where, you know, Scarlet Letter, there's no coming back. You're just forever the guy who cussed out, Naomi Judd and two young teenage rappers. (laughing) - It's an embarrassment. - Ironically, that would go viral now, and it would help you. But back then, that was, you'd be out of the business. - It wouldn't help you. - It wouldn't go viral, though. - Yeah, I don't think I'd know. - No one's building a career off that. - I got a thank you letter from Letterman for this. - Whoa, hey, that's a good one. - That's honestly a career highlight is I did the couch on Letterman on Netflix, and I was like, that was like a career highlight, 'cause I was like, I always want to do Letterman. I was bummed when it ended. I just want to do standup on it. So I think it's cool as hell that you, Mark and I always like talk about how we missed out on that. - Mm-hmm. - And-- - Oh, wait. - Oh, shit, we got the whole app here, baby. - Oh, my fucking lord. - Oh, man. - I hope it's not me, keep going. I'm in the back third, if it's the comedy part, 'cause it was me, John Heffron, and Alonzo Bowden. - Damn it. - Nope, that's Finesse. No, no, that's D.S. Sanders. - No, that's Stephen Scott, dude. - That's Stephen Scott, but the guy before him was D.S. Sanders out of Detroit. This is the week, that was the semifinals week before. Yeah. - Oh, you're close. - Yeah, you're close. - You're way better than the molecules of this. - My shit is the week after that episode, 'cause I studied D.S. to figure out what to do. And clearly, I didn't do shit that he did. (laughing)
Or Steven Scott. I mean, Steven Scott did a lot of impressions and stuff. Yeah, there were a lot of good guys on there I think Ben Bailey did it. Um, Jamie Lesso. Oh wow, it was a good bunch. This is post-edmic man. Yeah, okay, because that's when I was watching John Heffron. He was a big. This is pre, yeah, this is pre-last comic, though. Yeah, that's right. I think context comedy is like a different skill set Oh, he completely like you gotta be broad joke structure. Mm-hmm. You gotta be broad and fast. Yes. Yes Like Kaplan back in the day was so good at those because he was quick. He was he was he would like go up and tag your joke And you're like motherfucker. What the hell? I know. I mean, you know, he had no such a good one. Remember his joke where he's like I'm in a marriage. It's an open marriage. It's a divorce. Ah, we took a broken glass. We put it back together I was like these are so quick these jokes. He was just hit you and hit you and hit you and you're like god damn Caps was so funny. We toured together for last comic standards. That's right and and with John again and De Stefano, right? John again De Stefano and Felipe as far as what a line. That's a good five, man. So Some it was 80 cities. So some of the every city there was somebody that like which one of us is that they're gonna hate right? There was almost no show where all five of us did well. Ha ha ha. We're so different. Yeah, you pick a demographic It's just odd and I remember Mike Kaplan did a joke and he goes I went to and this is like Montgomery or Greensboro, North Carolina It's a random and I went to a fast food spot in order to drink and he said I said I'd like a small and they said we only have medium and large I said well if all you have is medium then your medium therefore is a small And like crickets. I'm not doing I'm not doing the joke justice, but they're like fucking nerd Yeah, that was the cinnamon of the crowd But then we would get up but I think that judges of the the tone of I've proven a point exactly Indubitably, but then we get up to like Boston and Rhode Island and like cases where there's like a Jewish popular He's killing and then I get on stage. Man a police be pulling us over. Don't they they're like no, right, right, not us We haven't looked into that You know what while we're waiting because why don't you pull up the thing that I sent you because I don't know if you can find a clip because I Calm the internet to make sure that a clip of me bombing. Why don't you put do you have the thing I sent you met? Okay, this marks marks birthday is this week, so I got him a little something and this is obviously pre-recorded graph Is that the house dude that went to jail Mark McGrath from sugar ray? I thought that was I got Mark old this is Mark Normand it is Mark McGrath from the band sugar ray off the charts In our heart. This is two minutes long. Oh stay with it. Oh, I understand From your friend Sam that you mark or celebrating a bit of a milestone very very soon, and that is another trip around the Sun For you Mark otherwise known as a birthday That you are turning 62 years. So Sam and I want to say to you Mark Normand happy happy birthday my brother. We hope You have the best birthday of all time. We hope it's all but love and joy and happiness and family and friends and music and Dance and like no one's watching it and food and drink and cake and gifts and all those things Mark Normand to make a birthday so very very special Because Sam let you know how special you are Sam let me know the fragile gigantic huge fair of a music of sugar. You love You have the full play Well played you have spare tattoos on your shoulder because Mark Normand you just wanted to be Mark Those who spell their names with the sea are different breed, but I know you know that Also, Sam want me to congratulate you on something Mark and it's kind of fun. It's kind of sensitive But it's something we both have in common Sam says congratulations on your penis reduction Surgeon and as we both know Mark. It's a very very Both of our cocks were just too big. I'm being an Irishman. We're not non-ferred big decks But mine was gigantic to gigantic especially for Irishmen Mine was at least six and a half so now I'm coming in about two and a quarter. He's riding like that. Yeah Sam said you're about a buck and a half. Now it should have what you give me a couple of points Yeah, it's a tough opportunity because the big dicks like us man It's across the bear especially if you're really handsome like me. I don't know you mark if you're handsome or not Yeah, I think I do. I think I've seen some of your stuff. You are handsome And you aren't brilliant. I'll take a birthday mark all the best to you from Sam I'm wondering which of your funny community friends Santa is just a few of them and you're new friends. I think you've a last name Happy 60 second birthday, but you're probably not a day over 41 Lots of love to you. Sorry about your sayings, but I'm a giant span. Happy birthday, Mark. Take care, Matt from Sam. Hey He killed it, man. Thank you. Look at that. That's great. Hey, he fucking killed it. I thought I'd just want to fly. Yeah After watching that. Wow. Who knew who knew we're on the way up. He knows it. He killed a dog. He killed us. I was glad. I didn't know he had a humor He's a funny guy. He was fun. Thank you. We need something fun. I'm pretty happy. How's your fun? I thought Kami I was over. Now it's rocking all right Well, shit. I was between him and I was like it was a good. It's a good rando here for you. That was very rando Well played Well, dude. Now I got to get you on. No, just keep it ping and pongin. Let's ping pong. Let's ping pong some random ass cameos Hit me with the lead singer of a OMC. Oh, you got it. I'm gonna call Kevin Pollock or somebody You got a book out you got Roy's book. Yeah, pre-made or is this your first book first ever? I never wrote shit in my life, but this is good. I think it's all like pain and like oh wow And it's not dark, but it's my pop star when I was 16. So it's just a lesson. I learned from other men On the way. Wow Nick Cannon's kids at the same story But I just I do I literally just heard him on a podcast say he is narcissistic personality disorder I saw that I was like he had kids because you have 13 kids. Yeah, we could have told you you had a narcissistic personality You wanted 13 more of you Yeah, yeah, yeah, he admitted that he wish he could have played out differently, but God bless him for having the money to at least try and make it functional money is not gonna buy you the time Sure, yeah, but yeah, my pops. I'm not you know. I'm the ninth of 11 kids. I'm my mom. That's crazy My mom's only kid, but I'm the ninth of 11 so you just don't get the nobody like after a certain number of kids No one gets the same dad. Right, right. Does that make sense? I five to eight get this version of pops. I got that version the two after me got a totally different version like it's just after you He was like I'm retiring. I'm done. Yeah, pretty much, but yeah, man. It's it's so it's a good read man I think that always a great writer man. I mean definitely check it out. I'm gonna check it out Nothing story. How did you did you get any attention? I mean, how do you do that? What how do you guys eat? I mean, that's a lot of kids. No, it's just me and my mom We lived with my dad, but they slept in separate rooms. Like my parents were like interesting. We're together So you for discipline so that he doesn't end up in a gang. Wow, but just don't bring none of them holes over here right now. It was like the That was aligned in the sand between the two of them So that's not a normal upbringing especially when you start trying to figure out well What does love look like and how will I show it to my son when I find someone you know So you have to like start working through all of that shit. Totally. That's the part that talks about writing a book Is it you have to like all right? Well, what's wrong with me? Oh, and it's not for comedy purposes. You're just writing You're just looking at yourself. Yeah Yeah, that's no fun. Yeah, what you know what you're getting a haircut? You're like I got to look at this the whole time Yeah, that we hate the mirror Yeah, good. The last go come on here way too far out. What are we doing here? Oh, yeah, I gotta get a haircut What are some what are some fatherhood lessons you've learned? I mean for me, man One of them was about just not snitching. It's because it's not even just about Fatherhood as much as it is the idea of here the values you need to learn as a man There was a there was a comic I used to work with RIP to spanky brown I open form once in Knoxville Oh, it's side split inside sure good. Yeah, we were together the night that Whitney Houston died In in Jeremy Lin went for 38 on the Lakers, and I'm bed and money spank had a joke about Whitney He did yeah, and he was a good dude. I remember those are some of the best dark jokes. We're like you took a bath on that weekend Being on state like being at a club with comedians right after like some tragedy There was some comic I hope before the day pain Stewart died and his jet crashed And he was like pain Stewart coming in at six under and I was like Fuck there was Well, I won't say your name because people get mad now, but come on fucking Heidi flood. No, this is black woman comic. This is the oh I'd I performed in making like three days after in the
9/11 and she walks on stage who liked the most amazing jewelry is just glistening she goes y'all like my jewellery Yeah, I stole it off bodies at ground zero. Oh my Damn, I'll say fucking fuck Jesus to the head Jesus first joke. That's how she came off the gate I respect that but spanky man the second joke hit 15 minutes later So spanking I were riding down it's the story it's on the book, but we're riding down to a gig and the booker called the council The booker we're performing at a competing club Mm-hmm, and you know those one night guys. They're very you don't perform over there. You're one of my guys How dare you perform over there? I hated that dude. Fuck you. You haven't booked me in a year. I'm performing over there. Fuck your room and The guy calls me for he doesn't know me and spanky on the cardigan. He calls me first to get me to quit To not do the room and I'm like I don't think about I'm 22 passive spank at this time. He's like 40 45 is a fucking grown man, and the guy called spank to try and get him to cancel To basically suffocate the computer. It's two hours before the show. Yeah, come on And you're trying to kill the comedy night at your at the computer room and spank goes you motherfucker You ain't gave me no any cusses this fucking dude out topped about like a 20-minute just tirade And I'm just fucking white knuckle. Like that's not how you talk to our bosses And he go motherfucker ain't none of these motherfuckers your boss you your boss. They are fucking co-collaborators Wow, and it fucking it changed how I looked at gigs it changed how I look at The idea that anybody at least an entertainment has any control over your career because they try to All these bookers at like they're the key. Yes, be nice to me and I'll unlock all the doors Right and spank cuss that motherfucker topped about him and I've been all right ever since He was he was an alright dude. I like spanky man. He was cool. Yeah, he he His other mistake to me. At least what I learned from him was the importance of Dating the right person what you do this and like the idea that If you have someone Like especially if you've got a hard job and you with somebody that don't support you or will just get out of your way You can't be with them And I and I had a front row seat to a lot of that dysfunction. I kind of get into that a little bit in the book But it's like the idea of You don't even realize how much the person even if you're just fucking like even if it's just casual They can't bring stress into what you do because this shit is already stressful enough And like understanding that part. What's unfortunate is those women are really good in bed Those crazy ones are fucking like you got like five in your head right now. Oh, yeah I got to call them Get back with Judy You know the women I'm with hate men way more than Judy Yeah, I think the importance of if you're gonna be with somebody choosing somebody that actually Compliments what you do. Yeah, or in support of it They got to be a lean man, but damn you can't be no spoiler either that goes for everything it goes for partnerships It goes for like working relationships because for you be with someone who makes your life easier and who's loyal and good and you know I struggle with that on the professional side like Like hiring people is like I don't know if you're gonna especially if I'm hiring you for some shit I know how to do right I'll just it's fine. I'll I'm not gonna I'll stay up till three in the morning I'll edit my own videos right yeah, but you can't you need that time to live if you got to do shit Yeah, what I do is my wife and we have a eight month old and I'm always on the road So I just walk in with the check Like god damn I've been changing diapers getting screamed at and I just go there it is And she's like all right, all right, you're in she's like you want us to wire that money like no? No, no, I want it. I want it golf style. Yeah, I'm one of this big You see that shit where they went broke and they cutting off everybody's money. No Bitch publishers clearing house file for bankruptcy what and all the people who were promised $5,000 a week for life There's a yeah, we ain't got it Those people that were gonna get Bobby Bonilla page just got fun dude they begin checks since the 90s bankruptcy is a bitch Yeah, publishes click they make their money off I'm owed some money from a studio I'm owed a decent amount of money from a studio that went bankrupt and I was like My buddy is also owed who I wrote it with and we're just like really? Yeah, come on That's what bankruptcy is it's like we don't have to pay you were bankrupt fuck you. Yeah. Sorry, haha damn Yeah, they but the people like trying to sue and shit, but I always feel like if you've gotten $5,000 a week for a while Yeah, yeah, but it deals a deal, right? I mean it's all Yeah, I mean it deals a deal until I don't have them. I make money from magazines and I'm about as reading fucking handheld magazines and you know, I kind of want to go back I was thinking about going back to newspapers when I'm at like the airport or something I get magazines I get it for some reason it's only an airport thing now for me I was like I kind of like it. I read more when I when I'm holding it as opposed to my phone because you look at articles that you Wouldn't have normally clicked the link - ah-ha Exactly so you're not distracted to scroll out an opponent and get it to go with a taxi. Yeah, I'm all it I dude. I'm going back to hard. It's a good shield - like my dad would read the paper every day and it would that paper was up You couldn't you couldn't get around it like you couldn't go. Hey, dad. Hey, the paper was up So it was like a nice block sound like you need to write a book Well, plug some dates to do buy Roy's new book and get on Amazon, right? Yeah, we're telling some stories on tour It's not like a because I hate the word book tour because it suggests that I'm just gonna be hey It's just on student on stage and I'm pontificating. No, right. We're telling stories we're telling stories from the book make the shit funny Put some openers in that bitch more importantly everybody who comes to show this fall gets a book That's pretty cool. He's baked into the price of the ticket. I love it. All right come watch the shit I'm pretty much everywhere, but the Midwest for right. Well, no, no, I'm in the Midwest. I'm fucking a Milwaukee in Minnesota and I Think St. Louis is from shit. No Charlotte in Durham. Nice. Yeah, I don't have a lot of West Coast We're getting California at it soon. We got we got SF on there in Seattle on there. Yeah, man. Beautiful. Yeah indeed, man Yeah, love you boys man. Hey guys the best. Yeah, thanks for coming on get the book everybody check out Roy on tour. Where we starting this I'm in Paris tonight. You already missed that Amsterdam Berlin back in and Salt Lake City second time this year wise guys November 14th to 16th love that club Them in Reno at the Atlantis casino November 29th Carnegie Hall December 4th. Hope to see you there Punch up dot live slash Sam Morale Slash tickets or you know punch up dot live slash Morgan Norman slash tickets mark. What do you got man? Well, I just did a Huntsville This weekend. I know you're an Alabama guy. Wait. What are you Birmingham? Yeah, yeah Tickets aren't moving, but hey Valley Center Harris then I'm in Macgoobies mall Baltimore Lincoln theater chocolate sit Hey, going back to Rochester for a makeup Niagara Falls, San Diego and prior lake another better than a casino to get that cash grab and a real bomb So yeah, come on. It's a good combo. Yeah, get some bodega bodega cat whiskey dot com. We're just DM Mad at bodega cat whiskey on Instagram if you want it in your in your liquor store in your bar because we're making some moves We want to be there with you shout out comedy store for putting us on the menu with moving it comedy seller We love you strip house steakhouse Fucking well shade in the village. Hey, Martin's wine cellar in New Orleans so many good Nobody places Karen in now and we and we're grateful. Please hit us up if you want to especially your comedy club Hit us the fuck up, dude. Yeah, and let's get that shit in Canada. They were all asking for it They don't have it a tariff. Trump. Yeah, sneak it in. Twink karni Take it up there for you. But they don't let me do a little more paperwork by Roy's book guys and I and see him on tour We love you guys. Yeah, comedy And they could send you well as feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember And I get down in the same way We might be true
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