Ep. 255 - The YouTube Problem is Getting Bad

(upbeat music) - Yeah, like the first six months of our. - I'm saying, like, it still hasn't been beaten. - He's playing plumbers. (laughing) - It still hasn't been beaten. - It still hasn't been beaten. - Bill Russell has 11 champion chips. What are we talking about? - And we talk about Bill Russell nice. - Yeah, but he's down on the list. - He's on the list. - You were saying Tess should be on the list. Bill Russell's on the list. - You're right. - Yeah, bro, I'm right. - The records and like games like this are kind of crazy. Have you ever looked at like the highest of all time records for Counter Strike? There's some surprising players on that list. I think, I think, Fiff Lauren is still like most kills ever. - And IP still has the most consecutive wins. - Scream has the highest headshot percentage. - That's crazy. - Still, there's one stat you can find. - Scream fat now, you think? - Whoa. - He's probably fucking ripped. - He's still a rip. - He's probably ripped. - What if he's fat and then you're wrong? - It's not a secret. - You know why it's unlikely? - What? - 'Cause it's CS2 player and I think CS2 players are more prone to consuming nicotine. - They're just skinny. - Less calories. - Wait, where's this theory? - The body. - CS2 players are nicotine? - Yeah. - I've heard rumors. - Spades are gone. - I've heard some rumors that the European, especially the East European CS2 players. - Yeah. - Fucking littered up there. - Oh, for sure. - They're dog smoking two packs a day. - Yeah, they got like, Bane mask level of zins or math. - Man, there's a lot. - Don't have to be walked to his gamer chair for you. - That's Scream, why don't you like John Wick? - Yeah. - Dude, he looks amazing. - What the fuck? - He can see his shoulder through his suit jacket. - He's 31. - You can see his shoulder through his butt. - For me, A-Man is so easy. - Wow. - What if it doesn't look at this, dude? - He looks fucking good. - That's what it looks like right now. - This is an April article from this year. - Yes. - So he's not bad. He looks fucking hot. - He's not, he's a little washed. - I'm like, I gotta buy it. - Are you the everyone's wash guy now? - Yeah, like, what is this, bro? - What is this, bro? - What is this, bro? - He's a little washed now. - Okay. - You're saying tens is washed, shouldn't be on Mogomani because he's washed. - His tens not a little washed. - He's a little washed. - He looks great. - He's retired. - He's fucking great, dude. - He retired. - That's what he said about it. - He literally did, did, did, did, did, did. - You retired a champion? - Yeah, he won a major. - And then retired. - Oh, you're right. - Yeah, he's too many teams. - But that's green. - You'll piss me off. - What, bro? - 'Cause shroud came to your awesome event. - Yeah. - And he fucking took a hot dump on his keyboard and played like balls. - Wow. - And then, and then I got fed a shroud video on my home page. And it's like him playing in fucking 30K elo premiere lobbies and just piss gliding. - Mm. - And I'm like, what you have? You have it, didn't you still? You just don't give up. - But maybe secretly hates playing against Jordan Nothing Gilbert. And he's like this fucking guy. - Or maybe he didn't want Ludwig to win. - I also think there's a skill set to being good against noobs and then good in pro lobbyists. - This is real. This is real. - Even in counterstrike. - Like the amount of space you can take comfortably. - Really? - And like the flow of the game. Yeah, 'cause like somebody like me young might just be middle of the deal and show your head off. - I think what it comes down to, it's a mixture of like you, it's the wobbles thing. You can't break someone with no brain. - Sure. - Where it's like you make a play that's like the right play on like, you know, in most cases. Oh, they're gonna hold Khan in this way, but it's like they're just in the middle of mid in a place that they always would die normally, but you weren't ready. - You ever watch like a pro CS game and you see they're like a minute into the round and they're like still setting up the three nades that they need to just get a cat on Dust 2 and they're just all sitting there. But you can't do that in a pub because some fucking idiot just runs it down mid. But no one in the top level is gonna do that because it's gonna get punched. - They're not playing for the dumbest play possible. They're playing for the best play possible. - Can I say something outlandish? - One, two, three, four. - That's crazy. - That's the damage for round for Florent. - Florent is actually crazy. - To take that lead. - I think it's easier for Zane to like, four-stock me without taking a single hit than like someone who's never played the game. 'Cause they'll be swinging crazy in spots I'd never swing in. - It's because, it's because his aggression means something to you. So like if he runs it, you then runs away. You're going to miss a grab. You're going to F smash. Who a bad player, they don't even register. They were being run at. So they just do a move at a time that Dane's not ready for. - And now he will try. - In poker we call these thinking players and you have to ask yourself, is he a thinking player? - He's got to play a Bitcoin Latin. (laughing) - Well in poker, in poker. - And you have to ask yourself, is he capable of folding? 'Cause if he's not, you gotta have it. - Yeah. - If he's not gonna fold, then you can't be bluffing. These are the things you think about while at the table in the Arya. - Yeah. - And when you play poker, go to the Arya. - And when you take a moment, you're stressed out. I want to wash this. - I can't stress away. - I want to wash it off. - It doesn't come off. - It's only a challenge. - Can I say, you're very rarely stressed. - I don't know if that's true. - I think that's. - I think historically that's true. I'm very rarely showing that you're stressed. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why are you emanating? - I'm fucking wired, bro. 'Cause I got too much shit to do. - Oh shit. - Finally. - Just in life, bro. - Like what? - I got too much shit to do. I was signed up for so much shit. - God, so much shit. - So much shit. - I'm fucking done reaping sewing. - Actually, the guy was signed up for too much. But then I started saying no to shit. - What did he say, no? - What's the most recent thing you said? - Oh, he said no to Kelbee today. He asked for your help. - No, Kelbee, no. - No, he said in the most serious voices ever heard. He's like, Kelbee, I don't have time for you today. I'm sorry. - It was very interesting. - I was like, and he's like, okay. (laughing) - And you know what, the laughing audience at home is 'cause that was really accurate. - It was. - And he spilled on the toilet. - Like a spoiled guy's character. - What are you stressed about, dude? - And Aiden gets mad, 'cause I like to ask Kelbee awesome questions about his life. And he turns around and he's like, "You keep talking to him like you're a cop at a precinct. "Don't get him to admit he killed some, maybe." - Okay, maybe it's because I came in light. But I worked at home this morning, and then I came in later than I usually do. So I'm one of the last people here in a packed office for Mogul money. There's literally like 40 people here. And you're in the room just shaking Kelbee down. And I sit down on my desk, 'cause I'm like, "That's normal." But then it keeps going. And what ever. - Jim Crank's Dwight. - What are we doing? - I don't know. - Kelbee answers is the wrong thing. - I'll imagine it. - And I would argue, at this stage of the conversation, he's giving normal human answers. (laughing) And I, I think you're up to the same. I say, this is insane. You're trying to entrap him. Like it's a cop. - You're a barclay shirt on your collar. - You're not allowed to talk that much. - You a Bitcoin lifestyle. (laughing) - God, it's so funny. Listen to me, here's the question I asked him. I'm gonna tell you where I asked him and you wanna tell me what he said to me. - Yeah. - I said he was talking about one of his like oldest friends. His best friend. - He said best friend. - He said his best. I'm like, who's your best friend? He's like this guy. Like your best friend. It's not Tyler. - It's not Tyler. - It's not Blast. - It's not Blast. - It's not Blast. - And I. - You didn't make the cut. - I thought it was Blast. - Like, do you love him? He looks at me. He's like, not really a word that I really start and I just start immediately freaking out. - That's fair. Wait, this is fair. - Because. - Some people aren't. I love you people. - I think where slime is redeemed is after about 30 minutes of being berated. I said, when was the last time you told him you loved him? He went like a month ago. And I said, well, why didn't you just open with that? - What are we doing? - Well, he's an argumentative guy. - 'Cause he was like, it's love's not a word at you. And then he said, I used it recently. - Yeah, that's weird. - It's weird. - Oh, it's weird. - Tell me. - I'm onto something. - Calvary and slime are similar. - No, they're just like arguing. - I don't like arguing. - Yeah, I like doing it wrong. - They need each other. - Yeah, they do. (laughing) - Let me get this one thing straight. And I think there's a difference between man and him and I think this is very just stooped. I don't like arguing. I want to prove that he's wrong. He likes arguing. He will take any position to fuck with me, which is hilarious. Right? - He doesn't care what he believes in most of the time. - I'm not on your side. I don't know. I said, yeah, I just want to cut off. (laughing) 'Cause I felt like it might've come off on your side here. - I'm trying to say, Calvary, you're a closeted man who is afraid to get in touch with himself and say I love you to another man. That's what I'm trying to say. - Hold up, but I think some people are like this. Like I told you, Christian was like this. - And that was great. - Christian is saying I love you to me for the first 24 years I knew. - I know. - And I clotted out of him every day. - And it's beautiful. - And I fought him. - And then it's his back. - And most Europeans, other cultures, Asians. - Yeah, but the gals. - But they're not, they're not I love cultures. - All sorts of stuff. - They're not dropping while I niece. - My mom never said it today. - They're not dropping it. - My mom dad has never said it to me. She hated saying it on phone calls. - So, she hated the face. - Yeah, she thought it cheapened the word. - Well that's interesting. - Because it was going through a phone. - Because it was being used too much. - Look, look, it's a phone. There's nothing really. - It's like styling. - It's like styling, you know. - And do I stop it from yelling it's me. - But the phone is electronic. It's not my words. - There's something to that. There's something to that. - If you're giving out cheap, I love yous. - It's your sign. - Some people are, I love yous slots. - The problem is Peter Cracker because now he. (blows raspberry) - Yeah, he did. - How should I Peter Crack that? - I'm not gonna join in. I don't appreciate that. - No, I don't. - What? - I don't appreciate that. - You said it, you said it. - You opened the door. - This is the, I love you thing. - Okay, yeah. Peter Cracker mom. (laughs) I just said what you said. - I just said what you said. - I just said it. - Peter Cracker. - But you said I know what you said. - The context. - The context of Peter Cracker. - It's like a Peter, it's like a Peter Instagram selfie. It's like hashtag berserk hashtag. Then I cracked it. (blows raspberry) - Do you know what I mean? - Hashtag guts. (laughs) - God. (laughs) (laughing) - You're fucking lying. - You're fucking lying. (laughing) - You're fucking lying. - Good. - I think that was inappropriate. I respect you, but there are some of them all here that should be fucking mad at you. - No, that's not the first one. - Why would you be mad at me? - Should be mad at all of you. - She's mad at me. - That one, Claire's shirt. It's a collar. It says it on the collar, the word on the collar. (laughing) - All right, it changed the way she uses the word, I love you. - I was like that more. - She spams it. - As her son, do you like that? - I'm cool with it, 'cause I've already been corrupted. I was already cracked by Peter and many others earlier in my life. - When he met you as a child. - Yes, when I was younger. I was 17, I was 17, that's when I met him. - Yeah, yeah, well. - But I was, I don't think that's okay. (laughing) - Jerry Seinfeld. - No, yeah, I'd been saying it, so. - It was weird for me. - Anyway, that was the big argument, and it's, he understands he's rage-bating me a lot. I just like to kind of ask him questions, and then, but sometimes, also, I'm not alone in this. I hate this, because he's here saying the equally acidic things, he just doesn't raise his voice. - Yes, I agree with you that Nick is acidic, but the acid oozes in your spurts. - I have, I spurt everywhere. - Your spurts crazy, and everyone knows you spur an acid, and Nick's slowly like, like pouring a little gasoline under. - Yeah, and he's just like, "Kelby, do you not think that Kelby likes to play as well?" You don't think that he's, he's saying, "I want some acid from you right now." - Of course, of course. - Kelly's been, she's giving him money. - Kelly's walking around the lighter school. - No, I think, I think this is like, you're trying to say that Kelby shows up in the short skirt every day. - No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not. 'Cause Kelby, I have days where I walk into the office, I go, "Kelby, and then I sit down, "and I do whatever I do. "I play X-com, or I do nothing." And I just sit there. And then Kelby will start fucking with me. - genuine laugh at a love with you there. - You can take a loom. (laughing) - He does do that. (laughing) - He plays S-com, or he sits there. (laughing) - And I go, and in Kelby will be like, "Okay, slight, I have a question for you." And then he engages me in rage bait. He does this all the time, and I happily accept. Because I feel like, even though you're coming, you're approaching me, I know the buttons, and I can fight too. - But I feel like the tone of it is Kelby's like, "I don't know, I don't know." And you're like, "I don't know, I don't know." And then when you go to him, you're like, "Bye!" - It's only sometimes. Because sometimes he'll be like, "Am I mad to me?" And I'll be like, "Am I mad to him?" And then it's a normal conversation. But sometimes he's, he actually is trying to fuck with me. And I'm fine with this. And I can tell. - But I don't think you're fine. Because sometimes like, if someone walks in on you, and I think this is what happened today, when it made a conversation, it seems like you're berating him. - I think that's okay. It's just, I want you to appreciate the context of the ancestors that came before you, the elders. - Uh-huh. - You will. - Past President Emerging. - And we think part of this is a start. - I don't want to remember the context of that before I speak. - Thank you for trying to pay us. - Because you didn't get to hear today. And some of us did. You were jerking off early in your house. - You were jerking off early in the house. - I was jerking off. I jerked off this morning. - Hey guys, and this is serious? I want none of you? - What? - To fucking jerk off or explode at any point in the next week. - What? - You need to hold my sperm. - For a week. - No explosions? - Yeah, 'cause the next week I want it. - What if I did? - Oh my god. - What if I can't help that? - I don't know. - Then when the swimmers come back? - What if I get out? - When the swimmers come back in the house. - I mean, hold off for a week. - We just have some home kids. - What if I test you at the sperm count? - I think it'd be fun to test her sperm count. - Why don't you have a man do it at the place? Isn't that funner? - We could do that. I don't even care to make a video of it anymore. - I just want to do it. - I want to talk about it and know the results. But I do think it's a little intimate. - To film the door when Nick's inside. - He's jerking up behind that door. - Yeah, he's jerking up behind that, you have a camera. - Oh! - Ow! - What is he? - Ow! - Are you okay? - And some border receptionist, sometimes it hurts. - Yeah, I think, I mean, I'm gonna be, guys, if I have better numbers than you, I'm gonna be insufferable. - I know. - Well, that's right. - Do I go back to the back with the beat off? Is that why you should wait a week? - Sure. - No cigarettes? - No alcohol, prefer. - You're dumping awesome load? - I'm just telling you, no. - No, you said cigarettes. - But you said, I'm the only one who said numbers. - It's not the load, it's the numbers. - Look, you will know. - It's 2 p.m. - Can I ask you a vulnerable question? How does it work? - Like, I know you, you're just in the cup. - You can test the cup. - What I'm saying, are they like, are they measuring the quantity or the health of each individual? - It's like parts per million, though. - So it's just a mountain, it's just parts per million of bells. - I would assume you just tie a little bit, maybe you're less like, I don't know. - What was that old, you know it? That old shock side, like I've done so. - What was that? - It's like a jug, it's like a jug. - Dump's a jug, a cum. - Jesus, that was peanuts. It's like a fake peanuts. - Oh, I know this one. - I don't know this one. - This is not an old shock side. This is what I showed you guys. - Here's what it's called. Easy gets close, one, two, three. - No, it's not before that. - No, it's not before easy gets close. - I don't know what you're talking about, I don't think I've seen it. I didn't like that. - Jack, I got me. - I like sexual, I wasn't called. - I wasn't called. - You don't like just sexual, I don't like that. - I didn't. - I didn't like it. - I didn't like it. - I did. I'd sit there. - You'd sit there and look at it. - You'd picked up BME Panalympics Fun. - Now fucking x.com is the shock side. - Woo. - Dude. It's for you dude. - That's what they want to fucking say, that's what they don't want to say. - God damn it, what was it called, man? - He was a guy with a name. - Wasn't it? - Brother, you're thinking of a guy jizzing and that's, that's okay, that's your problem. - Pause. - Pause. - I'm not with you. - It's not gay to think of a guy jizzing. - Is it because you look at what reduces sperm count? - I know alcohol. - Yeah, laptop on your phone. - It's like, that's fake. - No. - It's like sitting in a gaming chair for five hours a day. - Driving a monster. - We're in the hot air. - Okay, the secular heat from hot tobs or laptops. - Yep. - That was green. - That was green. - That was green. - That was green. - That was a green said, that's fake. - That was green said, that's fake. - It was like me and Otto and Dan and Liza. I'm walking around talking to Dan. Otto is doing, you know how he works? He has a split keyboard and then the mainframe. - Yeah. - In the code and he goes in. It's literally like he's doing the matrix thing looking at the green. - Sometimes it's deadlock. - But I'm talking to Dan and then all of a sudden, I just hear from Otto and I look over at his screen. He's watching the yard in 2x. - 2x? - We got a 2x auto chuckle out loud. - I'm not offended by the 2x and 2x. I actually think he can perceive the world that fast. - And that's what I thought too 'cause usually I hate that. - Yeah. - And I almost got mad and I was like, Otto, you're smart guy. - Yeah, you're smart guy. - It's processing so fast. So now I'm playing for the auto 2x. - Are you a 1x? - For comedy podcast? - For my argument. - Anything sped up? - Yeah, I watch a blotcher video every night from Dr. Spector and I watch in 1.5. He talks differently to me. - Yeah, it's based off of the narrator. Like if I find a YouTuber and they're like really slow, I'm like 2x killer self, I hate you. - What? I don't sped up anything. - You don't sped up anything? - I don't think he can hear the words of his pet amount. I don't think he could process it. - Sorry for me. - Like if Aiden tried to do like Tarek cereal, it would just be him eating cereal than getting immediately fucking killed. - He's behind a car, just waiting and he ain't nice. - It's just him dying car. - And everyone takes side and plants. - Brains can only do one thing at a time. - Your brain for sure. - It's locked in. - It's locked in. - I'm gross, I'm a 1.8x podcast. - 1.8? - Yeah, 1.8x. - I hate even comedy. - Comedy is like, he doesn't listen. - I don't really listen to any comedy podcast. - Do you laugh faster too? - Yeah. - Yeah, I think if you're interpreting just information, it's like it's fine to sped it up. - Like my books. - My argument has always been comedy. It should probably be a 1x. - Well you listen to it like 1.8. Like stuff like, probably like, lemonade. - 3x bro. - It is 3x. - But you listen. - Yeah. - 100%. - 3x and I'm hitting the right arrow every once in a while. - You have to bro. - Next topic. - With all the ads. - I'm trying to watch the YouTube videos. - Of course they haven't made yet. - They're fucking H.S. I'm just talking. - It's like Joe wrote the podcast. First five minutes just skip. - Yeah, 'cause he sits there and does like nine fucking ads in a row. - Yeah, there's the Dobby lady comes on screen. - Yup. - Wow. - Did everything set up right? - I talked about the Dobby suite. - We do eight different meat boxes that you can get to your door being in every podcast episode. - Does he still do the meat boxes? - It's such a crazy sponsor. - What? - Like manly, like a Joe Rogan listener is like, I do want some fucking steak slurred. - We did that once. - What? - We did the meat for a bit. - We did meat? - Yeah. - What's with the meat? - They sent us meat and then we did it. - Oh, what's the meat? - I don't remember the meats. - We did it. - I don't remember the meat. - Can I say, I think delivery meat's fine. - It is fine, it's just gay. - It's gay. (laughing) - A guy who's trying to think of the dude who cheesed a lot. - Yeah, what do you mean he's gay? - Oh, you're getting meat delivery. - Where are you as a man? - A meat delivery to you. - A meat delivery. - Oh fuck, I wasn't home for my meat delivery. They let them know. - Where's he gonna end up? - Oh, your mouth is disgusting. - Oh, I have to go get the meat now because I wasn't home for the meat delivery. - Yeah, right, okay. - I really gay about, I've ordered meat to my house. - That's right. - Okay. - Oh. - I did. - I did. - I order waggis. - Are you Japanese meat? - I remember that, it came in a crazy box. - Yeah. - It was good as meat too. - And you had some. - Yeah, you got meat from the far east. - I had far east meat. - Do you guys, this is maybe a vulnerable question. - Yeah. - Do you guys, does your girlfriends ever make you tell bedtime stories? - Yeah. - Really? - Yeah. - I've had to do this a lot and I'm running out of ideas. - Yeah, no, you just have to make one up. - I have to make them up. - You brought this up on the show once and because you did it, my girlfriend said, "How come you never get in?" And I was like, "Dude." - Oh, my bad. - I really fucking, whatever. It's all good. - I did. - She was out in a minute. It worked like a baby. It worked how it does on a baby. - Oh, my God. - She's in fall asleep, bro. She's like, "That was great." - Yeah. - And now it's time to go to bed. - So, wait. Well, like, how are you? Like, where are you at now? 'Cause you keep doing 'em. - You can't run 'em. 'Cause that's with babies you run 'em back. - Oh, yeah. - She doesn't, she doesn't wanna hear the same one. And so I had to tell this one where I was pregnant with a lobster and then I give birth to him and he's an adult lobster and he wears a little suit to go find a job in a little briefcase. - Right. - And he shows up at I Show Speed's house. He's knocking on doors. - Of course. - You could have had this whole story without you giving birth to it, too. - You fucked a lobster. - No. - But necessarily. - That part was it. Also, I went to jail for 40 years. It's a big story. It's a big story. It can't tell at all. But basically, speed does a backflip and then he bends down and he says, "You're hired as my accountant." - You could be an AI problem. - Magician. - But I will say, I'm like, I'm like trying to get through this and I'm like, I try to make him really long so maybe he doesn't want the bedtime story anymore. But I started getting really into it because I found a way to tie it back to where he's the accountant. He's accountant for speed for years and he can become a really strong relationship. And then speed does a backflip off of a building in Rudy Gennaro. But oh my god, a draft takes him off plummet to the ground. The camera. You just hear it. Car alarm. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Speed is in the hospital. His family is there. The lobster is there. His name is Neil. And Neil, the lobster is there. There's an experimental procedure we can save his mind. - How? - It goes into the body of a lobster. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - The plot of hoppers. - Oh my god. - I don't know that. - It's the plot of hoppers. Do you know hoppers? - Really? - Yeah, you know hoppers. - You know hoppers. - And then he becomes one and they have awesome best friends. - A little girl gets put into the mind of an animal and then she has to understand animals through that lens and then she's trying to save the environment. - I will say speed has always been wonderful to Neil for the past five years they worked together because he's an accountant. Anyway, yeah, I don't know if. - Can I, I can get you out of this. - Please. - I think every time you tell the story, it can be a different story. Just make the main character lacy. - I can't do that. - You can do that. Every time you go, picture this. It's a hero. It's lace. - Why don't you just take. Why don't you just. - She'll be up all night. Think about him. - Yeah, that's right. - Eventually, on the 17th lace story, she'll be like, I can't hear you anymore. - No, on the 17th one, she'll be like, I think we need to break up because this guy sounds awesome and he's out there. - Then he's out there and I'm hunting. - And I'm hunting for nice. - And I'm hunting meat. - Do you want some genius tech? Take an IP, you know she hasn't seen and just tell it to her. It's like when you call the Christian hotline like, well, I was raised and well filled off. - Just Metal Gear Solid. - Well, the issue is you're going to watch one Metal Gear Solid video and then World's going to shatter and then trust it's broken. - Was that the whole plot of Peace Walker? Be honest with me. And I mean, you didn't watch it. And that's why I did that. - It's like that, the BSP in that forechamp post where the girl finds out the guy she's been dating just copied drive, which is probably written by a guy, to be honest. Then I think if you wrote a bunch of nighttime stories for your girlfriend, but it's, it's phased lace, but excuse me, core lace, but he's, and he'll fuck that up again. - It's like Nancy Drew, I was, he's solving a little mystery. - You could go, you, and then Lacey and he's going to kill me in the bottle. - What? - He's going to scream for you. - I saw him. I was watching a stream. He was running an Argyle sweater. His streams have been kind of fucking jobless. - He's the best mascot. - What is he doing in this stream with you? - You're, real quick, you're kind of becoming like, who's the guy who shot Ronald Reagan? - The guy who was trying to press Joni Foster? - Yeah. - I don't know his name. - I'm worried you're going to do that, but with Lacey. - I don't know, because-- - I'm worried you're going to shoot the guy. - I'm going to shoot the guy, I'm going to shoot the motherfucker coming to get him. - That's what I'm saying, but that's still, still not great. - John Hinkley, that's right. John, you're moving like J.H.J. - Oh, he was a junior. I wonder if his father was disgraced afterwards? - You know he was wearing Argyle. - Yeah, I was watching Lacey's stream. - I was watching pop-up do with clicks, bro. - He was fucking, it was a bad stream. - It was a bad stream. - But, why was it bad stream? - Because it was boring. - Where they were signing the, they're doing it. - You would be an awesome experiment. You know how you say, these guys like me, you and don't remember you, or say, hire anything? You should do, you should show up to all the core pop-ups and just have a conversation with him and see how long it takes for him to remember you. But you're on the stream. - I was always on the mystery in the background. - Dr. Pepper guy. - Dr. Pepper guy. - Dr. Pepper guy. I didn't mean him, but that's a good example. - Or what's his name? He has a podcast now. He was the Bill Clinton guy. - With Tom Evans. - Yeah. - Kind of like him. - I met Eric. - Eric. - Yeah. - That's what I was trying to get to. - Yeah. - Like you're always secretly in the back of the stream. - I could be Lacey's Eric. - Yeah. - I'm gonna follow you guys slime back there. - You would never say it. - He does not know your name. - Of course he does. - Or my name, or your name. - I think he probably knows some of your names. - No shot. - No shot. - You know what I think? - He should because I write him. I don't know if he read them. He would know, but I don't know. He's busy. I understand. - He knows what he's talking about. - Whatever bro. - I got his number. - Yeah. - Until his face I got today. Should I face Tom and ask him? - No. I'm not ready. - I'm ready to step to Lacey. Like that. - Okay. - I gotta give my G up. - He could be like Aiden. I don't want to make him feel like I'm pressing him. - Oh my god. - Bigger to lose. - What? - He texted me. - You forgot to reply? - Three months ago. - No way. - What do you want to say? - You want to do a brother's bro? - You didn't reply? - I forgot. - I said his ass. - How about you fucking kill yourself? - And then you ghost him again just now. - Yeah, it's fucking life. - Yeah, it's too late. GG. - GG. Yeah, he's on the bigger and better. - He's doing other shit. - What if you guys went banned for banned and brought, what was I, what on the categories? Just banned for banned? - Banned for banned. - What else? - Who's got more meat delivery? - Who's got more meat? - Just straight up. - Yep. - I mean, you got meat for meat. - Best contact in the phone. - Most force killer. - Do you do a clout, bro? - Yep. - Thousand on roulette off. - This is a genius idea. - It's horrible. - You could beat so many. - No, man. - You know, I realize I'm old. - I realize I'm old 'cause everyone doesn't play in a streamer you and I've thought to myself I could never. - Why, bro? Because I would do it serious. If I was a professor, I'd say 9 a.m., doors closed at 9.01. - Yeah. - And I'm teaching. - They would love you for that. - No one would show up. - Yeah, but that'd be funny. - Yeah. - This is a great idea. You've wrapped around to making a funny idea. - That is all I do. - Is Lace a professor at the University? - He's trying to be a hall monitor. - Oh. - Or an array. - Oh. - That's a hall monitor. - Yeah. - It is a glorified hall monitor. - God, what a. - I fucking hated my array. - Can I use my one time to get in the streamer you? Can you help me? - No, I've got a number. - Please, bro. - I've got a number. - Get 'em in. - I can't wait. - Do you see what happens when Ludwig messages some of the biggest streamer? - Oh my god, dude. - What happened? - I missed this. - Did you see that seed? - I didn't see that seed. - The speed left is asked on red. - Oh. - Yeah. - There's a lot of people. videos of people making fun. - I'm gonna take you to the channel now. - He says eat this. He says eat this, it's the-- - He's just-- - Should we step in? I think this is kind of hilarious. - Oh, oh, I've got mocha bassole inside, man. - To me sidebar, I feel like we should just tell 'em about hunger root. - I think we should tell 'em about hunger root, 'cause it makes it so simple. I've been using it for 15 minutes. - It's so big, you get to cook a meal. Try to tell 'em, try to tell 'em. - It's morphine. - Hey, Tommy Monster from Yu-Gi-O. - I'm the worst man. - So we have an idea, instead of doing this weird protest that's making your life weird, we could get you on hunger root. - Basically, you get ingredients. High quality and goodness to your place. And then the meals will be ready to eat in 15 minutes. You can cook the meals, it's good food. Let's tell you how to make it. It's easy, they tell you, bro, this shit's easy. - It's easy, it's easy, it's easy. (indistinct) - What do you think about the garlic beef plus? - Would you have a girl like street corn? - I have an even like chicken. - They don't have chicken, they have chicken. - They have chicken, they have chicken, they have chicken. - They have green chicken tamales. - Tamales, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is. - You don't have to torture your partner anymore. - It's so hard for me to be normal. - Well, for a limited time, eight, and get 40% off your first box, let's get a free item and every box for life. Your life could last an eternity, baby, too. - It could, especially with a thousand years. - I've got some fucking side items. - Just go to hungryroot.com/seyard, use code the art, right? Hungryroot.com/seyard, use code the art. You have 40% off your first box, the free armor stores. Stop crying. - Do you get a free item for the church for the rest of your life? - Hey, young man, stop crying. Stop crying. - I'm out of here, go to the website. I saw my computer and my phone, you're going to do this kingdom. - Hungryroot.com/seyard, code the art. You're the lost cause. - No, don't eat for the rest of your life. - Don't eat for the rest of your life. - Oh my God! - But yeah, I got, I got, put on, I've invited speeds to streamer games. - Yeah. - And I say, I've only messaged in three times. First time was when he did a crypto sponsor with a fake Christiana Ronaldo. I said, "Hey, man, I really like your streams." I think it was a bad, I think you should avoid doing stuff like this. - You said that? - You gave him unsolicited advice? - Yeah, I said, "Hey, I know this is unsolicited." I think I started like that. It was unsolicited advice. - I think he took the advice he didn't reply. - Huh? - No. - I think he didn't read it, probably. But, and then the second message was, "You want to go streamer games?" And the third one was, "Just bump in this." - Yeah, the bump, the bump was the one that everyone saw. - It never saw the bump. - No worries if you had it in that time, but-- - No worries, bro. - That's crazy. - Okay, you want, you want. - But you have to send it, that's true. - You want a pro tip? - What? - I'll give you a method. - Giraffe, mind explosion, Mimoji. - Well, to send it. - Well, I do this, by the way, I do this strat. Like, I did it with, "You also make it eat pussy, you do video." - Pop a plot, I just typed, "I need you." - Pop a plot? - You said you sent him a giraffe, and you're making it a video. - No, I just said eating pussy. - Pop a plot. - Wait, what? - I missed the pussy part. - You sent him, send him exactly this. Say, I can't shake the thought of you, period. And then, be the giraffe in the Mimoji video eating pussy. - Yeah. (laughing) - And it's mine, it's still it's mine. - And then, send another text, that's just a space. And then, it just shows the bubble. Like, you accidentally sent like an actual. - Okay, enter. - Yeah. - You know? - And then say, "Sorry." - I. - Remove the bubble. - I typed, I needed it. I just typed, "I need you." And that worked. - Pop a plot. - Really? - The issue is, I typed, "I need you." - He is bigger, Lee. - He said for what? And then I said, "What?" And then, he didn't reply. - You didn't reply? - No, I do the giraffe. - You're a fucking, maybe. - No, he didn't reply. - Oh, he didn't reply. - He didn't reply after it. Ludwig told him, "Basically, it's like. " What if you try to like, what if you try to like, like, entrap him? What if you, like, you set up like a Lamborghini driving competition and the first to jump over it, wins? And you do all these speed-like challenges. - Right. - You announced them early. - Okay. - Yeah, you do, hey, doing Ludwig's backflip competition and you will buy everybody to butt him. - The million dollar fastest streamer contest. - You advertise that Cristiano Ronaldo was coming. - That real, right? This is, although it would just be a lie. - No, of course it's a lie. - A lie is awesome, bro. - But you said, "No, it doesn't matter." You can lie, you can lie. - You can get away with lying. - It's not. - It's not. - It fraud. fraud is such an annoying word. - You get, you get a real man named Cristiano Ronaldo to come. You just don't show any pictures. - Sure. - Literally what he did, that was my first message just to not do it. - No, no, no, no. - But there's no crypto. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's what made it work. - Wait, what? - There's no crypto. - No, no, no. You're trying to get speed, bro. - I feel like, okay, here's what I do. It's like when Aynirost talked about it. - Here's what I do. - I tweet out, 10,000 dollar 100 meter dash inviting all streamers. - And I have fastest man alive coming. - You should have a, are you faster than speed category and people race his time? - Oh, his time would be good. - That's good. - And then if he doesn't show up, it's just like a cutout and he's just at the end. - Yeah, just like this. - That's what I'm about. - Yeah, he's just like this. - That's good. - Okay, somebody who looks like I show speed now. - Yeah. - Let me hit someone who's like Cristiano Ronaldo. - Risky. - Risky. - 'Cause then you gotta be like, I found someone who I think looks like I show speed. - Yeah. - Hands on his shoulders. - Hold on one more. - Hold on one more. - Hold on one, and you know what? - It's not, and then it's really bad. - You keep saying it's not, it just will be. - Okay. - Well, speed won't come, 'cause he's slow. (laughing) - Good. - He can't even run really fast. - He's good. - God, he's slow, shit, he's slower. - I think Ashton Hall, if he didn't trip, he would have won that race. - Ashton, he ran back. - He's so much meat on him. - And we're in back two times. - He's so awesome looking. - I've just seen the video of the man with the fat ass shooting guns at the gun range. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like on the first, the world's first male lesbian. - Dude, it shakes so unbelievably. - This is about the fat ass, it's always got the fat ass. - He's probably always had a fat ass. I think you're talking about someone different. - No, you're talking about the guy who stuffs his pants. - Yes. - This is a man with all, he's all natty. - Genuine. - He's a natural-- - Baseball player? - No, no, he's just like, I don't think he could. I don't think he play baseball. - Every baseball player's got a crazy ass. - No, zipper, just look up. - How do you, how do you-- - The male lesbian. - The first male lesbian I think is what the post is called, which I think is a bad caption. I think there's a funnier caption for sure. But God does it, it's hypnotizing. - His butt? - It's like the way his pants also jiggle. - And you're not. - The pants jiggle separate from the butt. - Don't understand. - This is a gaze you've been. - It's, and what is wrong with that? - Nothing. - I'm just letting it out. - Just letting it out. - It's just, it's just like this. - Can I not point it out? It's a fat ass. - You'll watch it. - Here it is. You'll understand it's not gay when you watch. - Oh my God. - Dude. - God, man. Look at what? Look at it. - Yeah, the pack really helps too. - You can tell it's influencing how he runs on the top half too. - Dude, he looks like those modded street fighter characters that have crazy proportions in every move in the game. - Oh my, and the jeans are tightest, just fuck. - I don't even wanna say anything 'cause this guy-- - And he just point blank, putting them down. - He looks like he could kill him. Well, I think he's shooting over the shoulder here. - He could kill me. - He could kill you without the gun. - He can kill me with a gun. - This thing is, when you need to pull out your sidearm, they say they have something in the military, they say something. If you have to pull out your sidearm, you're already dead. But not this guy. - No, no, no. - Hey, six? - And he's got a cup holder. - I love dumping the AR-15 into a barrel. (laughing) - Barrel needs it, Barrel's hungry. (laughing) - Oh. - I need like a slow-mo guys video with this guy. - Wait, does that fit when he's just running? - No, it's like them firing a fucking paintball at his ass. - Dude, that is a video they would have made by the fact that they just Baywatch. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Do you think, well, you're gonna be 31, bro. - Yeah. - You think about that? - No, I don't think 31 matters. - More importantly, I'm gonna be 30. - Very 60. - How do you think about that? - True. - I don't really been thinking about it. - No. - Do you think about that? You're gonna be 30 in a little bit. - I mean, he'll be the last one to join us. - Yeah, he's there. - You got to 30 before me, but like, - Weirdly. - Like you're like the Koreans. - I think I'm turning 32 next to you, basically. - He started at one. - Yeah. - Not only think about it. - I don't think about it. - I think. - You should. - I had a moment, I had a moment where I was like, oh god, I'm turning 30. And I was like, do I need to care about this? I ultimately decided I don't need to care about it. - I feel like you have a weird problematic age gap with a girl. - My girl? - Yeah. - Oh, she's 31. 'Cause she has 31. - Yeah. - She's your room deep. - 20 year old with a 30 year old. - Yeah. - What a disgusting setup you've got. - Ass like that, though. - Yeah, how could I talk about it? - You made me say a bedtime story. - The stock is litical about it. - Sorry. - Let's keep it above board. - No, back to the bedtime story thing. 'Cause she asked me to tell her about it. And I told her about bedtime story. I did great, crushed it. And then the next night, she-- - How do you know you crushed it? - You can just tell when a reader is fucking in-- - Engage, fell asleep. - She fell asleep. - She fell asleep. - If you opened your mouth and the sounds of a construction zone came out, she would still fall asleep. - She fell asleep during some of the best movies ever. - That's what I was saying, you're saying? - Yeah, so that was a good question. How do you know you did a good job? - Because I've seen her stay up for like six episodes of what's that YouTube series with the guys and the panel. And they-- - I can't remember his name. Fuck, I'm losing it. - Panos? - Iron show. - No, it's like the, he's like the, it's like they're all bunch of black friends and they do like comedy. - A lot of tech tips. - No, not. - Blokker. - Oh, you've shown us this channel. - Yeah. - Yeah, I forgot what I'm talking about. - Yeah, I do. - It's a show. - Yeah. - And she's wide awake. - And that's a lot. - You know, and then when it comes to fucking, let's watch like Magnolia. - But I'm more in the camp of film. - You're art. - But the point when I'm trying to get to, it's not about my story. It's about her stories because the next fucking night, she's like, do you want me to tell you a bedtime story? - Oh my god. - And I said, you know, I would love that. - I love it. - I gotta take out my fucking better pod. - Yeah. You know? - That's probably a better pod. - I really have to eat a better pod. - I've been rocking a bed pod. - Really? - 'Cause you want to watch videos on your phone. - I won't wake her up. - But I want to watch the video to fall asleep. - Yeah, just watch them. - Because I want to hear about this. - That's a lie. She goes to sleep before me so I gotta be I watch a video loud what do you actually I watched the video on my phone out loud Yes, I don't believe him. I actually had before you're a girlfriend That's a small sleep before her Because she's not asleep. It isn't a little different. She's trying to go to sleep. Yeah He's listening full blast. Oh, it's on this. Yeah for Eric or something. Yeah, I'm watching awesome air rack But my girl don't give me my girl don't give me different bedtime stories. She cliffhangers me each night And then has one story over the course of a month. That's really that's such a smart idea. You still have a story. Yes Yeah, I'm in the middle of what am I I'm supposed to feel sorry for you He's a duck, but he's a duck that's shaped like a sailboat. She never really explained it And sometimes sometimes you can roll bed and he's are good. He has a family of I think it's 22 other ducks Ducklings. Wow, that's big. That's big for dogs and he met a king frog. No, sorry a frog wearing a crown And I said so he's a king and he went no That's I'm sorry Is it is it supposed to be like a game where you participate or is she telling a fucking story clearly mad? But I participate. Yes Clearly why are you jumping in? You're fucking it up because she she'll say thing And this is your podcast and then I'll say what she said back to me and she goes no because she'll realize it doesn't make sense and then she'll change the story Anyway, it's a bit of a field. They see the Then the duck stole the crown and took the lily pad wasn't supposed to it's a long thing Okay, I won't get into all of it But I've been in the middle of that story for a while. Is there filler like you're you in a filler arc right now? Girl is there filler? Big if we did like the like the one piece with the slot remove this would have been a one night story Wow, okay, but I'm in I'm riveted. I want to know what happens of course So it's fine the episode where the not king frog Goes to like a ramen shop with his friend. It's kids beef right now I think she's like Connor just taking a little bit of like euphoria story And she advertises gene company and people didn't like it the frog that is We were too hard on Sydney for that we're too hard on Sydney because what for the gene part? Man, we're too hard American Eagle genes and because she didn't know man. She didn't fucking know better. They showed up for the shoot I'm watching my video full fucking blast Like max volume like I can't hear it. No. Yeah, if something funny. Oh, we're banging the nice stand. What are you slamming that nice? And really watching what are you watching? Fucking the lamb's fucking giggling around you know I have this thought this week and I've been disillusioned with YouTube I think YouTube videos are too formulaic. Okay, there's a lot of a lot of videos great title great thought now I'm like this will be awesome and then I watch it and I was like I just fucking phoning it in They're just doing what you're supposed to thank you. You did you made the sandwich. Thank you Yeah, but your algorithms your algorithm. I know, but like I'm saying they're they're good at getting me in and I think they Have a nice concept with the actual video itself like like and I'm gonna I don't put it on blast. Okay And I like his channel. Okay, okay smoke up it. I'll put three people on blast Max Fosh didn't care for the most recent video. God know him What's the what's the video called big is I tricked Hollywood that I was a British Royal Well, I don't feel like it's interesting. This guy. I took the loneliest crews in America, but he just took an Alaskan cruise And I'm like dude, that's shit. You're just on a cruise in Alaska like people. This is just a nice it's a write-off scam What do you fall about the what do you want to see more of on YouTube living? I wanted to see the loneliest crews Yeah, but not so oh, so your problem is not the content It's the clickbait and they're not following up on it. It's the lack of trust. I felt like yes I felt like we did not deliver on what was promised Yeah, and I was and I wanted to see the delivery completed. This is how I feel about the new air rack video. I watched it Wait, did you really I watched the whole thing? What is it? What's the concept? It's it's how many days Can I live inside Disneyland and it's a competition between him and two other youtubers compiling? Concept I think I think it actually starts off pretty well Because it's actually what every time I go to do the QD I go I'd sleep there overnight My guess is they don't spend a single night there Basically air rack man is successively spends one night there and wins and by proxy of the other two basically not trying and That's what the video feels like to be so that's his day seven This is different. You actually got away with a different video. I think just in air axe video they they Blow it and it feels like if you were tri-harding you wouldn't have gotten caught this way Yes, and I feel like a lot of YouTube videos have that and I've been feeling this a lot video essays are the worst perpetrators of this There's been a huge downswing in down tick of Video essays being kind of shitty lately. I think people are just better at making things that perform well than good videos I do think there's a shadow government happening where a lot of video essayists are actually using AI to write their And and they'll still narrate them they'll still make them the way they usually do, but the the AI is not good enough to make a human point And it's showing and it's really annoying because that that's what was my favorite content It still kind of is like I watch a lot of that shit and it's it's getting worse Yeah, and it's can you do it? It's maybe watch more stream, but streams aren't really good when it's one a.m. In its bedtime What about slime stream? You're not on at 1 a.m. You've been streamed in like fucking a week. I do and I'll say it. I miss it Really? I like to live in a TV series off You like the TV? It is, it's all right. Someone said to me recently they said they said what do you think slime is gonna play next? And I said I said I hate to break it to you. I don't know if there's something there will be eventually, but Right now I don't fly across my desk. That's right. That's gonna happen Yeah, so what if I leave your nighttime routine? You're blasting your videos blasting a full volume. Yeah, and I'm going home. I'm going It doesn't deliver on the fucking premise. Yeah What's she doing? She's like can you keep it down? I'm like not delivering He's a fucking delivering because it's not a lonely cruise. She's in Alaska. Yeah And then actually you know the biggest issue we've been having recently is I wake her up every morning And I don't know how to not She gets mad that you wake her up. She ain't got mad, but she she gets woken up And and she can't fall back asleep. Are you trying to be quiet? So initially no Okay, don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like I don't fucking care. I understand now. No, I'd get up. I get up and I go I get in her face and I'm like you like that Good morning, my beautiful girlfriend And I breathe out as a green stinkline I go And I float over to the sand I've been having this issue in the morning where Because she told me this and then I'm trying to be cognizant of it, but it was like hard to not be loud I was like bumping in and shit Yeah, you're talking about getting out of bed just leaving the room getting out of bed going to the bathroom brushing teeth washing face Yeah, getting out. Yeah, like that though You always leave a big fart in the morning in the toilet too on a lot of the other one. Yeah. Yeah And you go oh fart in the toilet. Yeah, you go oh scary and then you go back to the car And then you flush you wipe You fart in the toilet you flush wipe today. So I Every time I wake up now my first thought is like you know, I'm trying to be like Vinde's on the pacifier. I'm trying to be fucking Tactical about getting out. Yeah, of course. And so I I woke up and I said no alarm I was like I'm just going to get up because the alarm is also doing you do You you set you set like an auto make you like a raspberry pie and you put just your favorite movie to play in the morning Then she'll just stay fucking knocked out cuz girls can't stay awake. I do Favorite your favorite that means a lot to you with me. That's fucking knock out. Oh, it's just a year-girl from the wake up Honestly wake up whenever you want whatever you're ready to go back into all that I get up today. I said no alarm. I slip out of the bed. I literally tiptoe And your job is like I'm like turning the door handle like Give out doors your house. It's a little loud, but I do it real quiet. I open it I keep it taught I go to the other side. Yeah, but it doesn't click And then I close it and then I walk away. I come back like an hour later. She's like yeah, welcome But I appreciate you trying to be quiet. I could tell I was like what how hey forever. I can't do better This is it. I have some tech right now that so like if I Really late like three four a.m. If I just roll in bed like to the other side she never wakes up But if I get into bed at that same time up But I try to do is I get in as quiet as I can you know door tech, you know You do a fast swing to get past this week part and then you slow and you get to bed and I try to get as low as possible And then I kind of roll into my mind so it feels like I'm rolling in bed already here. I've always been here getting out It's the issue not getting in so you got to roll Like a roll I rolled I rolled you rolled, but do you stand? At some point yes, he already fucking it up But you wouldn't stand if you were rolling around and you got a roll and you got to never stop rolling But how do I get out of the bed out of the roll out? What roll out? How do I get to the door position? Crawl your car you think I crawl like spider-man going up the wall to the wire, but you're on the ground Which I the shop I could go up the wall and then you need to spread your cheek when you do the fart in the toilet Like you have to silent. It's so hard. The silent job is hard, but there's a lineup I went to a different bathroom this morning. I've got a better. I was gonna say that was my I did go downstairs to a different The issue was not getting it was the door leave the door open How about remove the door? Oh, it's cleaner Yeah, and then what's gonna stop well? She likes the door close because the cats stay in cats I make a cat door. I make a cat door. I walk out the cat door human size cat door It's a lovely size door a human size cat door that they can't reach It's like a door we made a door again. It's like shapes. I think we made a door What if it's a door with a big hole in it and I had to jump through it and jump through it and make it but cats can jump So this is at a height it needs to be at like a weight that only your body is big enough to push here's a fucking run Yeah, and then I fucking miss and I shout out of the door frame Well, it's my eight all this talk about girlfriend's eight and girlfriend was here the whole weekend. Where's here Sam? Oh Yeah, it's true. Sam is true partner. Oh, sorry, I pedophile Ben. No Ben was here last week. Yes, Dr Noodleslam Dr. Noodleslam Dr. Noodleslam Dr. Noodleslam, I speak to you's not a pedophile. My apologies. Tell you what Dr. Noodleslam Waking my girlfriend up really? Yeah, why cuz he's getting into bed going I had nightmares Think you got sleep apnea Like tapping her forehead. Hey sleep apnea You see pap I can help you you get your subscription. I love you so much. I love so much But he is a terrorist because he like he stands he stands when he pays He doesn't but he doesn't clean up. Oh really? He lose pittle leaves a piss and then and then he likes getting up early He goes to bed early wakes up early Girlfriend love sleeping in on weekends. Yeah, not compatible. She's terrible is yeah. He's waking up at like he's out of bed Before seven. Oh, that's a don't a week. I don't know weekend because he's just he that's what he does do and he's loud out there And no, he's not that's the thing like a freeze to be open your back. He's not loud I think girlfriend was at the The tattered edge because coincidentally we had four different friends stay with us back to back Who is the guy who said yes to them? I would invite all right? I didn't know her friend No, no, we don't believe you have more fun than you. I'm sorry about pedophile. But what pedophile been was one of the four we've been that was for those was who's better. Was it your pedophile her pedophile my pedophile, okay? That's and that's just good to know Ludwig still has a grudge against you and I'll never forget how fucking mad he was is when it was all those Australian staying in our place for Genesis back. We all live together like in the small house Yeah, and and like Ludwig all these guys stayed here for like a week plus and so many guys And then later on it was like fat Goku Ginger like a couple more people. We're gonna stay after them And I was like get in the fucking hotel. Get a fucking. Yeah, I don't fucking it's too many fucking people It's been two fucking weeks. I was like chew you out actually forgot about it. I don't even remember this it would you were so Matt we it was awesome. That was when we learned how to we played four square with the bouncy ball Yeah, which was fine But then Genesis is over and then all the Australians like leave or some of them staggered in a way and then more people Come and why do we just furious friends and is throw the hands up friends And they all fucking throw their hands up and pee on the fucking toilet. Yeah, and that's great But he's a doctor. So it's like what he's a doctor. What can I do in log forever? And so and so what she she eventually gets up 715 she says you have to leave Take some out. Yeah fucking beast mode put her foot down got to put your foot down sometime got that guy out of there So what does he do seven till you get up seven to be honest? The I've been getting up like by seventh or eight. Oh yeah a week is actually very tall is this whole In the life of you in the patient. We don't have in seven years live It was a great episode. Huh and I've been running you have been running It's very sweet watching Aiden and Sam hang out because they've known each other for so long and they're very like Sam Just like reading a book and then Aiden will just like say something and Sam will go. Hmm And it's just it's it's like his brother And I just got to be there and see it and also Sam will get on Aiden's computer and make music and He's in the dog. Yeah, he he got on FL studio for the day And I was like I'll give my son my computer while I work on the couch It's just my laptop beats and then he and then he dug through my beat from the beat off got the ghouls out of it Yeah, the ghouls were in it solve the ghoul problem and then made hit two of his own and you kept talking about he was like He was like, oh my god, dude fucking FL studio three. This is so awesome. There's so much better than what I have It was like just fucking your doctor. It's a hundred dollars You're a medical resident have the paid version, huh? And you can get it free. Yeah, I got the paid version. You got the paid version. I expense it I don't know when he's got a car. No one he's fucking beat me bro. Well, yeah, bitch That's the only reason you fucking beat me by the way because I paid because you paid for it is paid away in Congratulations, don't you have to be lost to Aiden? I actually tried to get to pay Yeah, I heard you stole first. You stole first. I stole it. Yes. Oh, I'm sorry Everyone a lifetime of all a lifetime of interest and rap music. That's how I stole it for me. You stole first not for me From him. Yes, you the first thing you said let me you cocksucker the first thing you said after you listen to my song Convenience is me in the moment, so don't use my words against me is what I said. I didn't believe really It's cheating to use Kelbee. It's really exactly what he said Because I watch it back. I watch the final full full cut came out of the lashing man. He's lashing out You know what is interesting? I think this is in a picture of Ludwig's audience is that the most of them were like slime Should have won which I slime don't believe in I think I had the second best one or whatever you want to call it and It's like you guys are wrong. How many people are wrong? Oh, sweatshirt wrapped up. I look you're saying the Ludwig audience the views on that beat Oh, sure, geez. It's going pretty crazy. I mean you just deal something from We're crazy people and then you talk over it that you win you're growing nuts. I did it rap is easy and requires no life Experiences to talk about know you know the most recent. What's his name? Sweezy Squeezy I said the French guy. Oh What do you kind of think of what to do? Oh, what you talking about? He does raps. Is a white guy does raps? He does Spose you do better than most reasons pose for sure. I think the night get there. No, it wasn't suppose another guy Oh, the novelty of me doing it once is the fun party juice. No, that's the oh me my girlfriend don't do bedtime stories I'm worried she might hear this. Yeah, cuz you can't tell fucking stories. Oh my god. He's with sucks Okay, here's a bad time of story reads the back of a fucking manual who reads it reads is his jetta how to clean How to clean the door jam. There was a guy his name was Jim Had a wife kid died talks about how he almost went on a trip once For 30 minutes, you know, fuck you wait, wait, fuck you We do do we do something fucking cute dude. He be put some story so I was walking through skid row Yeah, I want to tell you a story. I just told one you can listen on the ball It's the same thing. I'm telling it. Maybe I'm not telling it to you. What do you want to do? Tell me? I don't want to do the late You're cleaning your pants new sorkin Facebook movie are you fucking creaming your little pants? You know, I did cream my little George but for a totally unrelated reason because one of the frames of like a cool It's like the cool inside shot of a building and I was like, oh my god. I know that I know exactly where that is Dude, it's you BC where they used to host battle a BC Oh, yo, and it was a little I was like literally the same building wow But I can I cream my George for that reason it was made for you. So it's made for me It's like how I live I've lived the movie coming in coming prediction sidebar you just okay, you're out He's gonna pick piano back up When this movie drops. Oh, God. I'm going to tell you. No, he's not you know five dollars on it. I'm taking the piano today No, yeah, could you want to practice a piano? I I'm piano So I something and he doesn't play it to it doesn't matter. There's one piano. It's my piano. He doesn't play it So I'm taking a piano you can take the ear muffs off take it back up though. What's up? So the thing we do that's really cute We tell each other our gratefuls every night. Oh really okay We have to say one thing we're grateful for in general and then one thing about each other or our relationship We're grateful for and we say every night before we go. I would kill myself if I had to do something like that Why I am We have a very simple language we have monkey time and monkey time just means we're going to kill myself If I told you what I'm grateful for anyway me and my girlfriend, we make small monkey Honestly, it's more sweet and then we go to bed, we go to sleep. And sometimes-- - Wait, this is a bedtime story. - I will say it's a bedtime story. - A bedtime is the bedtime story, but sometimes it's not following. - Yeah, it's kind of simple. - Yeah, yeah, well, we'll push your pianza. - Well, fuck. - Love who was that? - Fuck, what again? What happened? - I'm stressed, guys, I know it. - I've got too many fucking people to talk to in too many different apps. - Okay. - And I just spoke to my French guy in Chinese. - Oh, that's really bad. Did you try to snapchat him again? They don't, I don't think they have that. - I've been snapping all these fucking kids. - You got it, you got to consolidate. - You got to consolidate, yeah. Especially if there's different age ranges. You got to consolidate to one place. - Yeah, but there's no way to do that. You just have to have every single app and then switch to the app to communicate with whatever their preferred mode of communication. - I think you make running your business really hard. And if you just had one place where all your calls, texts, and WhatsApp messages and flat stuff, it all came in in one spot so you can monitor it easier. He's in show young faculty. - It doesn't matter what county he's young in. Today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q-U-O. Ludwig, the smarter way to run your business communicates. You're doing business, right? - Yeah, I'm doing business. And by the way, it's 47 months old. - We're talking to 47 month olds versus small business. - With a phone. - He's a small business leader. - Why would the child do business for him? - Whatever neurochip child you're talking to that runs a dropshipping company, it doesn't matter 'cause one of 90,000 businesses, solar operators, growing teams, they use Quo to stay connected. You could be one of these people. This gets brought, you just Quo right now. - I think most of them stay connected to other businesses that are run by adults. - I'm just gonna go through, I have texts, I have calls, I have transcripts, I have voicemails. Like it's not gonna cover all of that. - It does, it covers all of that. - And it covers all of that. - And it covers details as well. I know it gets confused, right? I know you get confused all these damn people in your damn life. - You get confused. - This is what you needed this whole time. You honestly look foolish for not using it. - I appreciate that. - Make this year where no opportunity, no customer, no child slips away. That's Q-U-O for free plus 20% off your first six months when you go to Q-U-O dot com slash the yard. That's Q-U-O dot com slash the yard, Ludwig. - That's so awesome, Nick. And sorry, does it say verbatim next to call to action? - It does say verbatim and that's what Nick said. - I said it exactly as written. - Quo, no missed calls, no missed customers. - Girl talk is a private affair, right? - The way you talk to girls is private affair. - What do you mean? - It's intimate. - What do you mean girls talk is a private affair? - Girl talk to your girl. Maybe at the twilight of night. - It's inherently private, but I'm not saying anything. - Yeah, you use girlfriend voice. - You use Q-Girl for a voice? - I'm not saying it's unable to be heard. It's intimate. - Of course. - Yeah, it's intimate. - But the truism. - But I think there's relatabilities across how you maybe maybe you do use a bigger voice. - You don't have a voice? - No, I think there's sometimes maybe there's a voice, maybe there's a vernacular. - No, he doesn't. - You're just unrelatable. - B-B-I-C-B-I-C-B-I-C-B-I-C-B-I. - What? - I get his, I get his. - What are you talking about? - Yeah, I get, I don't get your stuff. - Sound off in the comments. You know what I say? I say we're like laying or about to go to bed. I say we're monkeys and we're married. (laughing) - We're married and we're in the tree and we're married. 'Cause yeah, we're married. - This is how I'm through my point. - I've just overlaid to it. - How do you not relate to that? - Really, I mean, where's the whimsy? - I'm, he's bunny and I'm a little mouse. - Oh my God. - Wow. - You shouldn't have told me that, bro. (laughing) - I'ma make you like shitty boy. - I'ma make you like shitty for that. - Next time me and you and a locker are in the same 100 yard vicinity, bro. I get comfortable. - I'm holding, she's fist. - You better, you better get comfortable with me. - You better get comfortable with me because your girlfriend is gonna leave you and my girlfriend is gonna leave me. - Oh, for each other? - For each other. - We're gonna be alone. It's just gonna be me and you one bit. - Is me him in a lacy dress? - I can't stop thinking about it, bro. - Yeah, Nick keeps talking in the group chat about how he wants to see Aiden in a lacy dress. - He doesn't say anything, he doesn't say that. He just makes up thinking about it. - Nick dropped this, just sentenced no context. That's like, I've been thinking about you in a lacy dress. I can't shake that thought. - I can't help covering you. - Zipper 3 sees this on my phone and says, "What does that mean?" And I looked at her and I was like, I feel like it's so clear. It's like, he's-- - Couldn't be more clear. - He's thinking about it. - Yeah, it's face up, really. - I can't stop putting fucking lotion on you in my mind. (laughing) - That's what I wanna do. When he came in all stressed, I wanted to wash all the stress off. - Wait, why are you stressed? We never ate that. - I wanted to wash out too many stress. - I got stressed. - No, no, we didn't really eat it all. - You're stressed about it. - You're stressed about it, you're stressed. - You're stressed. - But you're always busy. - I'm busy, you're-- - He's busy to a point where there's no play. - There's no play. - I'm not playing. - I'm not playing. - There's no play, bro. - You're not playing. - I'm not gonna no play. - No play. - What are you doing before you got here? You got here to n2pn no play? - You play with your shit. - I got no play this morning. - I have fiber. - I go over, I was-- - Oh. - That's play. - That's play. - That's play. - Really nice guy. - What? - What you said? - What did you say? - I don't like him. - You don't like him, do you? - I don't like fucking get so wet. - I don't like him. - I don't like him. - No, no, no, no. That's not why you don't like him. - I'm so going to. I like him because I don't like him despite that. I like that part about him. - So I'm just gonna meet him in like half an hour. - Yeah. - And love him. Be like, "Look, that's great." - He's been very sweet and he's gonna look you in the eyes and he's gonna say, "Hi, I'm fiber." - No, he's not. - Yeah, he's gonna be very sweet and double-lifts. You're, "Hey, him." - Why? - You ain't gonna walk in and you're gonna go, "Kalbe." - "Kalbe." - And the devil's gonna go, "Peter." - I'm gonna do a secret fucking handshake and then you're gonna look at you and you're gonna crash. - I've met Peter. - You don't remember you. - I don't care. - I respect him. - I think Pete, right, remember, remember. - Don't call him Pete, Pete. - What is that? - Pete's care, remember me. - Pete does not remember a slot. - What about him? - I'm fine with it. - Why does he know you? - I mean, I have met him but I think by power of association. - You never did ask it with him and Crimson Blur like a damn moon and shit. - I didn't do ask it with Pete. - I wouldn't do ask it with Pete. - I don't think he would do ask it with you. Just fucking throw that. - I wouldn't do ask it with him. - 'Cause him and Kelbe probably do an ask it every other night. - They call it the Summoner's Rift Psychonauts. - Club. - Their own fucking stupid. - And I'd love to leave that to them. It's a go-do your thing. - I'm gonna fucking. - Anyway, you gotta stop this cycle. - Hey, what are you fucking doing? You gotta stop your cycle of just finding someone new and then saying they're-- - They're a really nice guy. - Them. - Yeah. - 'Cause you know what's gonna happen is is his fan base is gonna see this. They're gonna feel bad. - I think they'll be. - And it's gonna be out of context so they're gonna see you in a big coin latin' 'em at. - Yep. - You didn't think about every clip of this episode is gonna be you in that act. - You look like a Conor O'Malley character. You know? (laughing) - It's just an insane guy. - Bops have wifi. (laughing) - The wifi ruins your balls. - It ruins your balls. - Don't put it on there then. - I'm gonna avoid this guy. I'm not, I don't trust him. I don't trust anybody. - You don't trust anybody? - I don't trust anybody. - You don't inherently trust Doublelift because he's good at league. - I trust Doublelift. - I trust Doublelift my life. - What about, so that's somebody. - Something about-- - What about your girlfriend when it's monkey time? - Only when it's monkey time. - I mean, it's like how could she-- - You're married. (laughing) - How could she deceive me? - It'd be crazy to deceive them, they're married. - That would be terrible. - So, okay, but you respect all the 'cause he's good at league. - I think, I respect him 'cause he's good at a lot of things and I think his personality is also, I don't know, I've known about him for a long time. - The length you've known. Do you respect Minecraft's go less than league's go? - Definitely. - 100%. - Definitely. - It's not even a question. - I'm not gonna snap call that, but-- - What? - What do we do? - I don't know if I, I don't know if I necessarily-- - I don't want to, I don't want to say. - Oh. - I don't think I have the-- - Look at the fence. - Slicing up your cock. - I have the faculty necessary to say such a thing. - I don't dare take a position here. - I take a lot of position, I took a position, you only say my position, Ian? - Yes. - What's his first name? - I'm not telling you. - I can't do that. - Fuck, I thought. - That's what the fuck I thought. - I respect skill in any game that is player versus player way more than any game that is player versus game. - Yeah. - That's not even more. - Way more! - For a player versus player. - Regardless of game? - Like you respect a professional smite player more than, I guess the audience matters. - The audience matters. - Or the player-based matters. - Player-based sizes. - There's a lot of speedrunning. - And do we have a bigger player-based Minecraft? - League. - There's league in between with players. - There's a speedrunning Minecraft. - Have a bigger player-based than Minecraft as a game. - League. - What are you saying, League is a player-based? - What are you saying? - I don't know what you're saying. - I'm saying Minecraft is the biggest player-based. - No, but not the biggest player-based. - But not the biggest competitive dumb thing to, you know what you're doing. - You know, this is disingenient. - I watch his face from realize his argument back. - I actually saw it, Jason. - No, this Minecraft is more than square-based. - This is the biggest player-based game. - The biggest score. - Yeah, so you probably respect we sports more than Minecraft? - There might be a similar amount of people who play smite than the speedrun. - Actually, Minecraft's a little more. - There might be a similar amount, ridiculous. - I don't know, man. - Everyone who plays smite plays smite. - Throw it out. - Throw it out, get it out of it. - Throw it out of it. - It's gone. - Look up smite, steam DB. - Nah, not close. - Now look up. - Now look up Minecraft, speedrun.com. - Wait, is it smite two or smite one? - Are we specifically asking about smite? - Is it smite two? - Is it smite two, sir? - No. - Why don't I know this? - Yeah, I think I- That's about as many Tekken players. there's that there are seven K there are probably less people speedrunning Minecraft right now. At this very moment I don't know if it's public I hear here's my beef and it's something I've been thinking about and I think Minecraft speedrunning is cool. I watch Liam all the time. I don't like how they think eSports is is good. Like they they are like they like doing the comment. I've watched some some of the pro stuff and they commentated like its sports and they're doing the same mistake that I think it's a mistake of turning it into like a simulochrome of sports, which is like the what I think has been wrong for I think they just want to see locker room. We're going to glaze past simulochrome. No, it's too a guy like me. It's making the real guy like me that's like saying the you know, I mean like I'm not going to like put focus on that. If you do yard search. Oh, into it. That's definitely not true. We've never seen the locker room. It's probably said in the locker room is making the rounds because of a popular video about Joe Rogan and it's dispersing through the internet. More popular. I don't know if that's why he said I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't want just one of like once a month. No, you don't. I literally do. I'm telling you it's making the rounds. Oh, look at this. I know yourself. I wasn't there in my defense. I wasn't at Pawntons. Yeah, that is. Okay. That's actually a pretty good. Oh, in the episode. That's a strong that's actually a strong defense. It is one time ever. Not monthly. And I was on the pond. I'm in my life. I see. I can't wait. We're monkeys. We're married. It's a semi locker. It's a semi locker of life. You know what? It is. Yeah. Sorry. So you don't respect. I think it's more about like they want to see their game up in lights. The one they care about. You know, and they don't know other way. You know why? I think it's actually really good is because the the Minecraft viewers kids a little ask kid, right? Or could be, right? So that's what a kid should cater to that shouldn't be like smash. I think Minecraft is like, I'm not saying it's going to be fast and loose. And there's like, shouldn't be like an adult game like smash brother. Like a kid. I mean, in the sense of like smash culture and commentary. I think it's kind of a guy. I am from an older perspective. And I'm seeing a mistake be made that has already been made by a grassroots community that I think is the wrong direction though. Yeah, they had like a choice to make. If they had like a cool, I bet it's just like, you know, it's a big lift to reinvent the wheel with like how you run your competitive scene, right? Like someone creative needs to step in. Yeah. I mean, it's I doing it is already hard enough. I feel there's an idea. So as you commentate a game, right? As an I've commentated games before a lot. And you, you do what everyone else is doing because that's what the culture tells you to do. And the culture is telling Minecraft, been running commentary in particular. We're going to talk about this like it's basketball. And I think that's wrong. I've always thought it was wrong. That's kind of like the basis of everything I've ever thought about. You're like baseball. And it's just funny to see it happen again, right? Like I'm you said, you don't I don't respect it. I think that's severe about it. I just think I kind of agree with him because you have all of the data and tools to know that it's the wrong decision at this point. But okay, what is the right decision? I think making something more casual and familiar, which is kind of proven by the fact sports or even trending in that direction. Like they have these alternate versions of broadcasts like, you know, NFL or like the two manning brothers like commentated on a camera. But these are always adjacent. Yeah, for sure. I think yeah, it's my I have a severe. I think the severity comes when you are talking over the game to this with this cadence. I think it's way bigger of a deal than it'd be like, Oh, who cares? You're just talking like sports announcers. You're more concerned about the cadence and the content of this speech. I think so. Like if you're talking about the game, you don't care. But you care if they're talking about the game and they're going and now looks like fineberg's going to find the fashion hole. I think that's bad. And I think it's more meaningful than one might think. And it's just right. I'll be like, who cares? Like if you just tone that down a little bit, the format saw the issue. You don't care about the comments. It's the performance of it. I feel it's like the I do think if there's a commentary and then analysis as well, it's like, okay, well, why don't we just double up on this type of? I don't know. It's not my I'm just observing from the outside, but I'm seeing all these things happen again. I guess it's interesting. I've seen that video of Donk playing an ACS, but it's like someone who uploaded like the entire match that cut down. So like what I like a lot about that video, like what it does well is it cuts out all filler cuts out all moments where Donk is dead. It cuts out like all moments that don't really matter when there's a hype moment. It even like blurs the mini map in the YouTube video. So you don't even know where the enemy is. Like it treats it like you're watching a live match kind of, but cuts out all the liveness. And it's like a raw delivery of why you clicked this video, which is to watch Donk shit on an A players. And I think that's what kind of separates electronic sports from regular sports is we have this like information that we can show the viewer that the players don't really see like in football. It's like it's hard. It's not right. You can kind of draw on the field and you can show routes and stuff, but like everyone's seeing the field. There's got a secret guy around a corner that you know. I think the presentation of eSports to me, what makes it special is you can utilize that info for the viewer's entertainment. And I think that the caster is kind of meant to do a little bit of that as well, which is like paint context to you in a way that makes it more fun to watch. And I think it's hard for like a Minecraft commentator to reinvent that in a way that isn't just sports because sports was their first and figured it out first. So the way we do it in my eyes is utilizing that aspect of it. Yeah, I don't think they're it's funny because like they're doing something that you naturally arrive at, but has been learned to be by a lot of people. Some people love the button down LCS broadcast stuff, but it has been learned to be a lot of people that actually that's we don't want that. But even like LCS straight away from that, like if you look at what they do now compared to like 10 years ago, that's kind of what I mean is like to fall into the trap. It's not necessarily like I'm not faulting them in the sense that it's very understandable how you arrive at that point. But you have like now 15 years of like modern esports to reflect on and be like, okay, all of these things are actually trained it like trending away from that style of commentary. Why don't we do something else? Well, okay. I'm I'm hosting the Minecraft World Championship this weekend. And so, yeah, it's like it'll be the largest Minecraft event in terms of like every viewership. Is there to get the bill? They're gone. They're all sold out. They're all gone to get to get masters. Can I go on? Can I go? You can't go. I can't go. You know, you can't specifically. You know, you can't. And so I, uh, we had the discussion of like what the commentary would be. And I made the call because I wanted the more traditional esports to be the main broadcast. And then for me to be a co-stream and you've Chris, you made Genesis again. Yes. But even our, you know, our main commentary isn't that good. And I think, and I think the co-stream will be larger than the mainstream itself. But I think there needs to be a mainstream. Were you tuned in? You really think so. I think they're, yeah, I think because otherwise. I mean, that I think you're right. I think that mainstream commentary should be whatever like the community kind of like dictates as the standard. I think what your general decision to divvy up those two things makes a lot of sense. But I'm saying like that style of commentary that is on that broadcast, like whether it be like Riot, whether it be this, it's like you get to make the decision of what that standard of like esport commentary for your game looks like. But I mean, we went pretty boilerplate. Like we have, you know, two commentators. We have a four analyst desk. You know, it's very NBA. Yeah. Related to something. It's less about like the commentary. Although I knew when we were talking about I see it as well. And like also don't like it. It's more about like the crossing the arms and red and blue lights to be sports that I don't like. Like the presentation of what we are trying to be cool and trying to be like athletic and I care about that way more. Because it's, you know, moments like Counter-Strike, right? Like take your time, son. You're right to make sure that is sports. Yeah. Yeah. And when operating at math capacity, it's awesome. Like that is like the one of the best commentary lines in Counter-Strike history. It's yeah. Yeah, that's probably. Have you ever seen Orrah? Can you go to my Twitter real quick? Have you seen the edit of that where it's, it's because that was I think an online tournament. It was. And there's an edit of it where if it takes place in a big stadium and he's going upstairs on Mirage to knife the guy and you just hear the crowd turns over and kills him. Yeah. Yeah. That's so close. Well, scroll down. He's wrong. Have a good time scrolling. Enjoy yourself here. Right there. Go up, go up, go up. One more. One more. Yeah. Yeah. That one right there. Check this out. Full screen. Okay. They just want the event. Yeah. I thought this is so cute. They nailed. They nailed it. They went up together. It wasn't awkward. I thought that was beautiful. Yeah, it's cute. I think that's great. It looks like good friends. It's, there's a gamer chair visible. That's all I'm trying to say. That's that I am. And again, I I'm just totally outside of it. And I'm seeing all this happen. And I'm like, and it's funny because no young scene is going to hear me talk of this place and be like, damn, this guy's spitting. Oh, well, I think it actually works again. I think this adds a couple more years to the esportsification. It comes after them. It comes after them. They see the guy in the Bitcoin platinum hat. Who did it? No, I didn't know that I was running the biggest event. I thought I knew it was coming up. I didn't know it was next week. This weekend. Yeah. That's crazy. That's in five days this weekend. This weekend. Five days. Amazing. I think it's amazing. It probably comes after them is hating on something that's getting stuck. spotlight, which I think is like a unfair interpretation of where your heart's at, which is like, you're going, no, it's also a reasonable one. So if they stayed for this whole thing after I called Feinberg, what I call them, maybe you have found some sort of understanding of my position here and maybe you didn't. But either way, I stand by everything I said, if you're part of it, maybe not, I stand by it. I lose nothing by taking it back. You get it? Don't sigh. I'm already stressed enough. Yeah. You still have these points. Is he getting these stressed anymore? He didn't make it easier for me. Doesn't make it easy. I make it easy. Maybe I make it easy for you. Maybe it doesn't make it easy for me. You've made it harder. Excuse me? It's tough for my 30, my 36 year old friend calls my 22 year old friend. Really nice guy. What are you talking about? Feinberg's 22. Yes. That's crazy. He can still be that at that age. Child. He was 16 in COVID. Yes. Distance learning ravaged his mind. And he turned to Minecraft as his only, he must have turned to Minecraft. He turned to Minecraft. So fast Minecraft only. All of that. He learned it before geometry. 100%. Well, this is the whole point of the Mogemonies. You know, like half, like one of the categories is just like books we've all read. And all the answers are like Ender's game or to kill a mockingbird. They're not going to know shit. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they've all forfeited their youth and their like cultural touch shones to be amazing at whatever league, Valorant or minecraft. Yeah. What does 10's know? What do you think 10's his favorite movie is? Maybe I'll ask him. Hey, it's probably like your, your name. Yeah. That's actually a real good. Wow. If it is, I'm paying you $1,000. That was a dog. It's a pretty good movie. He might be joining might say can you know, no, I, he might say that instead of your name. Just a filter a guy like me out. Yeah. I don't know. That is. Oh, it's like this anime. Yeah. Or some shit that came out in the last like two years, cause they're all retired. Do I saw a scary movie? Seven. Oh, the new one? Six. Just say the new one. It's six. Seven. It's not. Don't be mad. I don't think it is. Why are you fucking mad? I think you're out. Chill out. You're freaking. He's the last one. Five. He's bad. He's. Dude. It's like, dude, relax. Whatever, dude. What, how many scary movies are there is the question? Oh my god. There's so much. Oh my god. It's six. It's six. Shit on you dumb loser. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was so mad. Not mad. Awesome. You seem chill, bro. Did you like it? I was. What do you think about it, bro? All right. When I was laughing, I was cackling. I was laughing out loud in the theater. Oh. It was a fun time at the theater. What? When it's bad, it's the worst movie last one years. What a scary movie, right? Huh? That's like the kind of, that's a bit of an expectation of scary movies. Yeah. They honestly did a great job of living up to what scary movie has been. Do you need to watch all the other things? That is spoofing. Oh, that is spoofing? No. No. I mean, it's spoof. It's like scream again. I wonder if I don't have a way to contact Northern Lion. But I think me and him maybe have seen scary movie in theaters when we were little kids. Holy shit. And let me tell you, it was an amazing, you know, the Waza part. Everyone's doing it. Yeah. We're all doing it at the screen. So is it every time I had to recall? It's different when it was in 1999 with a bunch of people and you're a kid and you're out of the world. It came out in '99. Uh, pretty sure. Could you check it up her? I guess it was. Do you want me to message Ryan? I guess so. Yeah. I can. Of course. I can. Maybe I'd like that. We have a very interesting 2000 vacation. We have a very interesting relationship because he'll see clips of me and I'll see clips of him. And we're like talking about each other and it's like it's mostly through library and just posting things. This cat and mouse. It's very. It's very. Is it sexual? I don't think it's sexual. If you found out it was with that, he goes, I would be interested in talking about that. He boring that. What are you talking? What are you about to say something? No. Really? You're not Ryan's type. You guys should play Counter Strike together. The Northern line slime duo. You go crazy. Dude, there's this clip where he's like the best way to bond with with random people and he goes on the mic as soon as the game starts and he goes. You believe longs used to be $5 man and sometimes are like those are the days for the library and post a clip. And then but one of the clips is some guys are like a huge posse. He's like, that way it's not real food. I'm trying to engage. And then another guy was like, no, they weren't. It's a great clip. How much is a full long now? Dude, double digits. $8.99. I think it's more. How much is a cold cut combo? Everyone can guess it. I say $8.99. I think it's $11. Yes. Fuck. $11.99. $10.99. I think it's $11.99. I think it's fair. Average down. Let's say. I'm locking it. I'm locking it in at $9.50. There we go. What a weird number. Yeah, weird number. $9.49. It's $9.50. $9.52. Debra? Average price of a full long. A full long? A full-cut combo. What do you keep saying that? Hold on. What is this? Cold-cut combo. This is one of the sandwiches you can order. It's five dollars foot long. It's one of the sandwiches it's subway. It's been all around longer than you've been allowed. It's extremely cold. Cold-cut combo. Got personal. Prevalent. I mean, no, you got to find the real one. The AI said between $10.99 and $15. Which sells. By the way, it's true. Cold-cut combo. That's six. Six inch. Give me a foot long. Maybe they don't do it anymore. No, they do foot long. Here we go. They do foot long. Chicken bacon ranch. $11. Yeah, that's not a full long. Is this a full long? Okay, my $9.50 is pretty strong. The way a full long is $6.50. Yeah, a little calendar. They're all 6-8. Do you just double it, I wonder? We're just going to fuck this up by the day. $11.99. $11.99. Yeah, $11.99. It depends on what you get. The lowest cost, which we'll go with. $11.99. She's 6, what I get. She's 7, what I get. She's 7, what I get. She's 7, what I get. She's 7, what I get. She's 7, what I get. Do you think if Jared Fogel didn't do all that, and he stayed and became like a Mr. Beast like celebrity? Yeah. Do you think that the $5 for long would still be here? Like they'd have the place in the world. Did he cause inflation personally? Yeah. Because he defamed the brand of Subway. I don't think he had anything to do with the straight-of-horror moves closing. Oh my god, he's still in jail. Yeah. Guy who thinks Jared Fogel's Michael Jackson. He can do it. He got really caught. Dude, the Aiden Ross stream when he gets out. He's gonna fucking hit, bro. Yo, I got me, Drake, XQC and Jared Fogel. And we're asking what a day in the life of Drake's like. Yup. And we're fucking gambling on steak. That's all you kind of joke. I got so much piss in my cock. I didn't even listen. I stopped listening. I can feel it. You tucked in. I know. I'm trying to pinch it. I'm all out of piss. It's all in my cock. You're all out of piss, but it's still in your balls. Yeah, that's why it doesn't work. I'm so off. In my pants now, maybe. A bad day. Why is it a bentos, man? Are you double counter-strike, by the way? You're over it. For now, yeah. I'm trying. Okay, so here's what happened. I started playing Counter-Strike. I thought it was really fun. And then I made it a goal to get to 10k. And then it took over my life. This is a story that's kind of common with people. Yes. Maybe that we've met before on the podcast. And then I really just wanted to do other shit. I have shit to do. I'm shit I'm working on. And I couldn't do it because it was like league. But what I realized, and I was thinking about this really hard, my heart was not in it. When I woke up every day to play League of Legends to hit gold, I was trying. And I was feeling the game and the emotions. And I loved it, bro. I felt at peace. I felt like water flowing off a mountain. Counter-strike was like work. And I never wanted to have to do that again. Are you gonna fucking Evo? Yeah. I'm gonna know this. I'm gonna be there for you. I didn't know this. You'll be there for me. I'm gonna watch you play Tyler. You're gonna watch. Obviously. Are you gonna compete? No, I didn't sign up. I haven't been playing Street Fighter. You know who's been playing a lot of Counter-Strike. Who's that? Yes. Who's two dollars. I was just holding down beside it. I opened Steam and I checked friends recently played hours. It was at the top with a lot of hours. It's a lot. I'm still lower than two people in my friend's list. That's slime. Game's played this season. And soon say. It's crazy. - Which is crazy. - He has a real job. - You were playing in an insane stack. - He has like 120 fucking games this season. - You know what's funny is they take longer than lead games. - Occasionally, yeah. - Some lead games are gross. - Some lead games are gross, but. - You can have a gross counter-strike game. - But I think from nut to butt, getting into a counter-strike game actually takes way longer than lead. - Still a new league. - Still the worst cheating problem in probably any video game besides maybe Call of Duty. - Yeah, watching Timmy Ground of 30K was miserable. - It's crazy, man. - It's crazy. - It's crazy. - I had a game against a cheater two days ago. - A cheater. - And we only won because we had two cheaters. - There we go. - That's not. - I was cheating. - And all of them were not admitting they were cheating. They were all soft cheating. - Wait, how did you know they're cheating? - I'm just asking. - It was like I'd die and inspect it. He would play really bad if everyone was dead and he was the last one alive. But if only one person died and like maybe they're not, he's not being watched. It was like traced through wall. Like peeks shoot his head. And then we started asking, we really wanted to win. So we started asking questions like, "Is it possible to ramp?" And he'd be like, probably one palace or something. And then I looked palace. He peeks palace. I killed him. I'm like, "Quake calm!" Nice fucking calm, bro. - Dude, you're smart. - He's getting shots. - We were hiding other cheating in the other team. - The other guy was a little more blatant. Like if you go to his lead of five, it was like his headshot percentage was like super high. - Yeah, that's how you check. You go to the, you check their stats. And if it's a higher aim percentage, then dunk. - And he had, he had like a, what was it called? Like if you dot tips, it'll tell you the percentage likelihood they're cheating. He was like 55% likelihood. - Dude, that's right guy. - I don't know if I trust it. - It's pretty good. - It's like the shit that tracks if shit's written by AI. - Oh. - But now it just thinks everything's written by AI. - No. - There's a tracker that's written. - 20% and below. You're in like smurfing territory. 50% are higher. It's like this guy reacts at 100 MS when someone peeks the corner. - That's it. - And it's like, I mean, how often are you gonna react faster than human time? - Probably Jake. - The people who swing, probably Jake. - When I was grinding, it was on stream, but there were these two guys on my team, they were doing like run boost and shit. They did like a run boost out long on T side and killed somebody. I was like, he's the greatest player. I didn't cross my mind. I was like, he's the greatest players of all time and we crushed the game. And on the fucking windscreen at the very end, it's a back band and they get kicked out of the game. And I got my points taken away from me. - Yeah. - Dude, I'm the day. - I play cheaters every four games and I only have one notification in history that Valve banned someone. And it was a guy who dropped 48 and O against us. (laughing) - And I didn't get elo back. - And even then whoever, the system is kinda looking at it like, I don't know what I'm saying. - Honestly, it's either or. - Maybe. - We'll shout out to Skibbidi Diego. Eat your ban. Shout out to Gaming, bro. - Yeah, hope you're enjoying the yacht. - Love to visit. - Dude, love the yacht. Can you actually stop people from saying the N-word in cheating in your video game? When you have a chance. - I just want to invite you to the show. - I just want to invite you to the show.