(upbeat music) - Oh my God, hilarious. - Put it in the bar or something. - Look at these, this is hilarious. Who would wear these? (laughing) - Jesus Christ. (laughing) - You wear them every day? Are we on the air? - Oh, jeez. - So I 13, this is my size too. What the hell? - No, I'm not, I don't think I'm gonna wear these. - They don't look bad, except for our dumb faces. - Yeah, they're cool without our face. - Yeah. - Like a suit, maybe? - Feelin' like a suit. - Ah, it's a little better, a little better. - You're right. - Yeah, there you go. - All right, so man, feeling all right, feeling a little, well, shookin' up a little bit, but shaking up. - What happened? - Oh, just the hard drink and we can-- - Oh, yeah, yeah, that'll get you. - How about you? Are you at a fuckin' night? - We get a hard drink and I got a drinkin' story for ya. - Yeah. - So, do Akron on Friday kill her? Akron's wild, it's like the 50s out there. Bolling alleys and diners and-- - Yeah, we can't get in the board. - Yeah, white's only, it's crazy. But did Akron, got the rental car, drove my fat ass to Dayton, three hours, had a, we hit a diner in the middle of Ohio, me and Sean Murphy. I go, let's hit a diner, I'm hungover, I'm gay. Let's find like the most dinerous diner. - I love a diner-y diner. - Yes. - There's one in Rochester that's like a box car that I go to. - Oh, I know that one. - I love a good box car, nine. - That's a great one. - Love a fucking good diner. - Yeah, so a real greasy spoon. So we find a place called Freds. And we get in there, it's got the cat on the wall, the clock, you know, with the eyes and the tail, like old school. - Hold up. - Pull it up, Salikus. - Freds, Freds and Akron. And you know, the cash, she's one of those old metal ones. Every lady's name, Blanche or Gertrude, they got a pencil in their hair. I mean, classic diner, wacky wall paper. - That's an attitude to be like this. - Yeah, that's it, Freds. I'm looking at that. - I mean, it's in the sticks, baby. - I like it. - Yeah, the food was great, great coffee, the whole thing. But I-- - That looks like a great, greasy spoon. - Great diner. - A type of breakfast with those types of hash browns hits. - And the prices were from the '50s, too, I gotta say. - I love that, too. - Yeah. - I know Vito always presents it a little when I get out of it on skate. (laughing) - When it's like, when it's like $9.99, I'm like, he's like, you're a lucky bastard. - Yeah, fuck. - He's a gold digger, he's a little gold digger, he wants it. Yeah. So, we go to Freds. I walk in, is a little bit of a weight, and I guy in the kitchen is eyeballing me. Young scruffy guy, look at that, that is classic. - Yeah. - The stools and everything. Kitchen guy's eyeballing me. Scruffy guy, shaggy hair, you know, 20-year-old, 18-year-old kid. And he goes, oh my God, this guy might recognize me. So we sit down, the lady brings us the food, she goes, it's on the house, the kitchen knows you. And I go, I'll pay, it was like $23 for the meal. I was like, I'll pay, I feel good paying. It's fine, she's like, it's on the house. So I drop a 50 on the table. - How you doing? - And the guy, the lady goes, just saying, it's on the house, if you meet the guys in the kitchen. And I said, okay, no problem. So I go in the kitchen. - They grab you, they're beaten at you. (laughing) - I go in the kitchen, it's like three guys, and they're all aproned out, you know, covered in egg yolk and jizz and all this shit. And they're like, hey, we're big fans of comedy, and they're great to meet you. I'm Bob, this is Bubba, this is Dave, and then the old guy turns right on the griddle, and he goes, and I'm Fred, and these are all my boys. So they're all his kids. - I love that. - It's some real Midwest shit. So I get a photo with all of them, I smell like hash browns, I get out of there. - It's on the wall now. - Ooh, that would be nice. - Nothing's finer than in your diner. - Name it Alma after me, will you? - Remember that episode? - Of course, yes, I'm full. She'll have the broil chicken. (laughing) So we drive to Dayton, and I'm like, all right, I'm going to Dayton. You got to think, okay, Chappelle's compound is 50, 45 minutes away in the yellow springs. He's got that new club out there. So I go, I have his number, he invited me out there during COVID, which was very nice, and I couldn't do it for some schedule reason, but I still had his number. - Club, right? - The club. - Yeah, he asked me to play as well as fucking, I was flattered as hell. - Yeah, I'd love to, but I couldn't make it work, but so I said, let me just text him. Why am I such a pussy? Why am I so scared of confrontation and bothering people? I'm texting him. So I texted, I deleted, text again. Ah, that's no good, deleted. And I just said, fuck it. Hey Dave, it's a long shot. I'm in town at the theater and sold out. If you want to pop in, we'd love to have you no pressure. Send. 30 minutes goes by, 45 minutes. And nothing, an hour had, nothing, whatever. - Just like, fuck, why did I drop the n-word? - Yes, sir. (laughing) - It's gonna be cool. - I know, I was quoting Chris Rocks, but. - No, you do that with like the comic legend, do you like the story you stop? You start, you're like, what do we, hmm? - Well, you know my fame is Jerry Tex, that I got made fun of for like four years over. - What did it again? - I hadn't talked to him in a while and I said, hey Jerry, I'm Jonesin' for that hangout. - I remember. - Which everybody, people wore shirts to my show. Jonesin' for that hang, you're a douche, you're a homo, whatever. - Hey, we all miss fire. - Yeah, and we did hangout, so it wasn't a total loss. - And you wore Jonesin'? - I was, I was Joe, but I rode Jair, which was a real problem. - Well, J-E-R, hey Jair. - That's rough. (laughing) - That's not great. - Not great. - I mean, if you're really tight, but you weren't. - No, we weren't. - Yeah. - But I was trying to force the tightness, which is really bad. - Yeah. - So I go, okay, pushed it, nothing back. Now it's like five o'clock, I get to the show at 6'30, shows at seven, I get the call from Dave. Dave Chappelle, phone ringing. I swipe it and I go, hello, and he goes, "Hey, hey Norman, it's Dave. What's up?" I'm like, "Oh, I'm just getting ready for the show." I know it was a long shot, I would love to have you. - That's how we read Fox Chappelle. (laughing) - And he kept using the cool slang. He's like, "I'd come by, but I'm in the cut." And I don't know what that means. I think that means I'm in the woods or I'm in the middle of something. I don't know, he's in the cut. So he goes, "I'm in the cut. It's my wife's birthday. I can't come by, I gotta go do her thing, but I appreciate the invite." And I go, "Yeah, man, I wasn't trying to overstep, but I just didn't go, "No, no, no, I meant a lot to me. "That you wanna hang out, I appreciate it. "I can't go tonight, but let's hang out after." - He's so down to earth. - I know, he's so normal. So I was like, "I'd love to hang out after." But here's the thing. I'm such a psycho. I booked a bar show after the theater. - You have something wrong with you. - Something's wrong. - You bail on the bar show for the Chappelle Hang. - Well, you know me, I wanna make it all work. So I go, "Hang on, I'll see you after the show, "but I have a bar show. "I'm a psycho." And he goes, "You're not a psycho, man, I get it." So that was cool. And then he, I go, "I'll do the bar show, "and I'll come right to you." And he goes, "Oh, good, whatever, I'll be out all night." - He's a night owl. - He's a night owl, big time. So I do my show. It was killer. Dayton crowd was amazing. Then we drove to this place called Brickies. And it's like a bar restaurant with a bunch of tables. I go up first or second. I go, "Hey, let me do less time. "I'll cut the money in half, the guy goes no problem. "We do the show, I get out of there, and I text Dave." - They're in the back, they're like, "You can keep all the money if you meet three guys in the back." (laughing) - They beat the shit out of me. So I get off stage, I text Dave. I go, "Hey, man, hit me with that address, baby." And then Sean Murphy goes, "Ooh, baby." (laughing) - I was in front of that hang, baby. - I was bad. So I ended it and I just take off the baby. And I go, "Hit me with that address." I don't even feel like he's on some gay shit. What's he doing, you know? So I-- - He called him, "baby." - I was, I was-- - He called Jerry Jarrett to tell, "baby." - I was, "What's happening?" - I was rolling. I was in the moment. (laughing) I was cooking. - He's taking up. - He's taking up. - What's up, player? (laughing) - What's up? - What's up, my end? All right, so I'm like, all right. Let me text Dave, we'll get that address. So now we went, it was like the movie "Swingers." We run offstage, we're sitting in the car in the parking lot of Brickies. Go, just waiting for that address. 'Cause we got to know where to go. And it's 10, 45, 11, 11, 45, I'm like, shit. I also have a 6am flight. 'Cause I try to get back for the baby. So that means I got to drop the rental car off. You know, we got to get there at five. - Oh my God, you've put it on nighter. - I guess so. But, you know, you do it for the story. So I'm like, "Ah, now it's 11.30." And he's not riding back. And then Sean goes, you might have to hit him again. And I'm like, I can't do the double text when I never got the reply. And I go, what about this? What if we just start driving towards yellow springs? So there's 45 minutes away. And then maybe he'll text, and then we'll be already on the way. And he's like, "Yeah, that's good. "But what if he never texts?" Then we drove out there for nothing. So now we're in this big debate. And I go, fuck it, and I just start driving. So we start driving to yellow springs. Nothing, every five minutes. I'm looking, nothing, nothing. Now we're in yellow springs. I'm just sitting there in yellow springs. I get the call. Hey, it's Dave. Here's my address. And he hangs up. He just goes, I'm at 802 Franklin Street, hung up. And I was like, 802 Frank, 802. Put it 802. I'm trying not to forget it. And we show up, we get, we're at his house in the woods. Literally just a house, like a regular old house. And his pictures everywhere. And he's got a bunch of people dancing and food out. And he gives me a drink. We chat it up. We chat for like a half hour. We do some ziggin, some zangan. He goes, I'm going to my shack. And I go, what's the shack? I thought it was like a nightclub or something. Called the shack. It's literally a barn in the woods that he has a bar in. A DJ set up. And a private bar. Private bar, like his little man cave kind of thing. and. His assistant Joe man cave has employees. Yes, exactly. No, you're fucking loaded. He hits up a thing on the wall and he goes Hey, goes hey, come on out. We're here and a DJ comes out to start DJing So they're just blaring like on retainer. He just a day. Yeah. He's like best money I've ever spent was this guy He's amazing and he was a great DJ. He's playing creep and all this shit at the house or something I think so yeah a butler. He's got a DJ. Yeah The black is the guy DJ So the DJs cooking and we're talking and how about this? Yeah, we're all drinking Dave I started smoking cigarettes by the way because I didn't want to look like a dork. He's like you want one I was like a few cigarettes this weekend too. There you go. You get drunk and they fucking taste. I know I know I got all juiced up and you bummed one from a lady and now you're smoking a slimy like God I don't look cool. Oh hate a slip. Yeah, it feels good. Slim is bad. So I go She's the lady. That's true. So then we're chained smoke it. We're drinking and he goes, hey, man I got to say that joke about would gay people see when they die that killed me. Oh, wow I don't know about that was incredible. That was one of the maybe the best riff. Oh thank well that shows his but that means he saw the show He watches the show. Dave. So then we hung out and I drove Hey, the boys here. What's shaking? Hey, hey, good to have you back. We've got a couple of beers. No pressure half a cookie and a chub. Good to have you. Thanks for having us. You know, Tony's story. Who are we talking about? He was a Shepelle's man. I went to the Shepelle compound or whatever. Oh really? I just randomly texted him in Ohio and he said come on by Yeah, it's one of those scary texts. You know, thanks, but yeah, that's a big mots of ball hanging out. Exactly Thank God he replied. Mark Mark Norman. Hey, buddy. That's awesome. But yeah, young Shepelle. All right, cheers boys. Cheers, boys gang. Look at this I love that sound. Talk about tankin' them. Monday early here. Yeah, I got a great bottle to a high life bottle. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, Between this and a bud like can I always lean bottle. You got to go bottle. It's like I feel like Shawshank when they're paving the roof. I do. I do love a bunch of those few hours. Yeah, it was a porter a porter. He says a porter beer, which is like that's a thick. That's a heavy beer. They made that look like it was a Corona. Oh, yeah, they listen great gold liquid in the sun man. And then they bliss on the roofs of one of our own houses and then they had that That Italian broad doing the opera. Yeah, yeah, when he broke. I don't know what that lady was singing about. I don't think Italian. Yeah, we had rain Wilson on you who does not like Shawshank. What? That's a lie said. That's a hot tag. He has you know what though? I appreciate that he had some hot takes. Yeah, the hot takes he hated women. I guess that's how that is. Check the history books. That's a pretty good. Hey, he hated goonies. Hey to goonies, which I get behind that one. No, I don't I like kids movie. I still like it though. It's still classic. Not for nothing. You brought him up. Not that I'm talking trash. I don't know if he's a big tennis guy. But the US open all those celebrities up They're like, what are you talking about? You see one tennis match every six years. You're up directly like the kids. You're You're shot up. Oh, they're going to do the only are into it. Are you on the tennis or now? I like tennis. It's fun. I never Have a bite in my hat because some fucking other millionaire. You don't give a shit. Give me a fucking break. Oh, man, I think the big man's got two Sips a highway. I love it. Watch out. Hey, Wilson's getting it every I'm just saying hello. You know like short shank fuck the US open celebrity road, dude It's just I mean, come on. Go sit and watch it. If you got invited, you'd be up there. I would I would. I love the team and Ben still is different. He'd take a lot of time. Ben still is a hardcore sports. Yeah, yeah, I can already picture Foley there like he's got chocolate all over Look at this guy Also did one of those that was at the US open. It was in like a like a cup. Well those boats. Yeah All right. Look at these outfits. People I know rest of the night. He's got the earpiece on. He's got to hear what's shut the fuck up. You got to hear What's going on? Come on, man. Is it there? Yeah, official hat. Give me a break. Stop it. Is that Taylor Swift newly engaged? Shout out to him. Shout out. Yeah. He really it's a different look. Yeah, I like that though. That's nice. He's They're back there chilling. They're having fun. You know what I mean? Yeah, people like sitting in a throw. Oh, yeah, Rain Wilson was I gotta say. He's only saying this because we just signed a deal with garage beer. That's what Kelsey owns. Oh, We're really fucking toe. Yeah, you defend it. I'm really quick. I'm a garage piece of boys Talking about I'm like man, it's kind of weird out for you. Like I don't know what you're talking about. He looks lovely The Virgin that's John Bon Jovi. Oh, whoa. He went white. I got a hot take on him. Not a hot take, but I just want to say That that guy aged and grew into his things. Awesome. I agree. He didn't keep the hair He doesn't look like a guy in Long Island that had a fucking band in the 80s. He grew like Steven Tyler He grew into the billionaire that he is or whatever. You know the rich gentleman obsessed with the surgery the boat talks the hair transplant Yeah, it's got a guy aging gracefully. You know, you just look normal. You look. You're like. Oh, that's like a refreshing just to see a 72-year-old guy Now don't I won't I don't want the ladies doing it. They look like I just got to keep it tight Hey Hoffman. Hey, go. I didn't see Jason Biggs. The celebrities get better and better each night You know, you know, you're like Rita Rudner Start with the openers Whose feature in the night is that Klinger from mash would be doing it? Gary Veter. How'd you get the hell in there? Let anybody in here No, some of these rockers some of these photos are proving my point, but I caught a clip last night I believe it where it was I get intense man and they're all doing on stuff. It's like come on man Stop oh my god. Yeah, it's fucked shut up. Well if you're a psycho fan. I'll give it to you But I'm with you they get a little yeah one one game every play in the park. They got a little right Free tickets. Oh, even he's doing it. Donny. Wow, they got him with a pill He's just mad that a that a spaniard was in the country That's his face boys get her Get him out What Jack Nicholson was doing it back in the day. Oh, but he was a psycho man He was and he was like he was getting in fights with Polanski in Chinatown because he they couldn't finish the fourth quarter The Lakers like they were like throwing his TV on the floor like fuck you. That's a little tense. He wants to watch a magic Crazy a back it was before magic. I guess he's a die hard Lakers fan. Yeah, he's he's sad old school. He know where he's from. Who? Jersey Jersey Jack. Oh, yeah, is he anyone who's a Yankees and a Lakers fan it bugs me a little bit. I get it though I get it but it bugs me a little bit. Bye No, but you kind of get the best of both worlds sure sure, but I mean he's earned it. He's earned you know I love Nicholson L.A. Pooh himself out in L.A. He made a lot of good pictures. He's a Lakers fan. He should be a next fan That's fair. He should be a next fan. But he lived out there. He did remember a Mark Cuban would get out there He owns the team That'll give it he was really good out there Steve Balmer same shit that guy looks like he was coming He was fucking cheering so hard. He was going crazy. We have some close-o and Philly that's trying to do it now on the sixers He's like something he didn't last season. He kind of got checked a little But I think I could be talking out of my ass. There's some rich guy that sits like in that row on the sixers And he's like real close to the bench or whatever and he's really you know over he's trying to be like Balmer. Look at that guy's going nuts. Yeah, he had a did he I mean he defended himself against the Who knows who knows what happened there. Yeah, there's God that guy's got to stop digging All right, let's see here. Yeah, saying all the president's men Paul Blutori stop it. Where did that come from? Yeah? He's doing all this some blogger. He's it. No, he's a journalist that guy, but it's he's driving me nuts Because now he's going after the nicks. Yeah, it's enough of that. What's he doing? You better stop digging? No, the guy he's trying to prove that they're paying players on the side. They're like other deals kind of salary cap, right? Circumventing the cap got it. Pablo players on the tour. He's got some no show jobs that they do would endorse certain Contrary. I don't get so it went through like a shell company that are like a startup that was like a 28 But hey, by the way, it's not a shell to start up. Okay, there's a startup company. Well, then they let the bit They let that go bankrupt. That's how they got caught. They say how do you let the I don't know. What are you supposed to walk away from it? Yeah, well then now you're in this fucking kind of win some games here. Yeah, what the fuck what? What about a shallow boo? He's always out there at the nicks games, but he's out. He's a hardcore fan. Yeah, he's a New Yorker. That's Shalaman. Yeah, he's a real fan. Sure. He's always dressed a little cookie. I like it. It's into the fashion young kid. He doesn't even care about a Kardashian. He's just like, hey, he dude. He he made her a nicks fan. Yeah, there he is. Yeah. Damn, that guy does what he wants. Sure. He wasn't he could film a movie whenever he wants. He was like, I'm taking the playoffs off. I'm going to go to the next game. I respect it. Is that true? He called that. It seems like it. It seems like he's always working, right? Sure. Yeah, he's good. He's a crazy looking guy. Yeah, I'd face sharp sharp face on him. Got rodent. Why does Rodney keep coming back up? That's a mirror. Smash. That's a pretty good looking guy. He's got a screen saver. He hates his child. Wait, the background on your computer is Rodney Danger. Yes. There's no one closer to you in life than Rodney Danger. Damn. Shout out to Sally. His night stand next to his bed is red buttons. Good night, red. Jokers were two people. I liked it. Yeah. [BLANK_AUDIO]
You guys have been up to I mean even the road road we weren't we're off to we're off for the summer. Keep you had a baby We're getting back out in September. I do have to say very un Yeah, you were the only person like outside of my immediate friend group that texted Ah true a lot of a lot of DMs obviously. I say it orange place. Oh, I don't are you yeah? I've gotten but out of nowhere which really I hadn't talked to you're like congratulations Well, when I when I had to be I got so many that it touched me. I was like, oh my god I didn't know Joe de Rosa knew my name So then I'm I vote you I guess this is it. Yeah, I see it never But so I said when I when I see a friend with a baby I'm texting him Appreciate it went a long way. Yeah, when a little something from the heart comes from Norman out of nowhere I take really goes a long way it wasn't easy It's that in dress for a while Yeah, really stretchy, you know, it's like I was like that's what I was like. Oh wow That's you know, I was a I was a big one any good baby advice from Mark. That's you be T. Robin No, I mean you're you're a little older your kids a little older than mine. It's seven and a half. Yeah, I'm it's three Oh, wow, you're in the thick. Oh, it's just getting it's just getting out of it a little bit It's all that you did the whole thing the whole thing I took off from the road and really just went in and boy. You don't get any sleep You're delirious. You got shit on your shoulder. You're puked in your hair. Yeah, you're a whole different person Huh, it's mr. Mom. It's bad. I thought you when it took to the 50s route. I tried Wait, this is a great workout to call me when he's too. Yeah, don't worry. I got help. I hired a lot of Jamaicans. There you go Yeah, how many Jamaicans? First one in a ball on that one Deal the rhythm Just baby slitting to um, uh, they cook yeah, they don't eat they look just like a baby eating some jerk chicken Oh, I would love that. I love a good bomb a clutch Get them by your beef patty man. Oh, the ox tail man No, they did the dishes of vacuumed stuff because sometimes the baby goes to sleep for like two hours I think they feel weird just sitting there. So look at that kippy. Uh-huh. Would you tell me what your girl did? Oh, you got a lady. Yeah, we got I got a lady with Polynesian or Thai white lady. Oh That's I can't afford that Are you bringing it at least now full blonde? She's from Seattle She's no, she's older and older like that She's more her kids are raised So she's more more of like uh, you know, uh older older broad. You like something a little war torn. Yeah Like Ukraine. Yeah, it's on off the books. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now you want it's hard to complain to just a regular white woman That's true and then they complain. Yeah, they have a Micro aggression in a me day. That's why you don't hear that from a Jamaican sure sure sure What's the report on shorts in here with the nanny boy Maria Shriver had a real that face could cut glass a little shower me kind of yeah Yeah, he really fucking did it. He really did came to America dominated got a Kennedy such a great barbit of like Why don't you why why would he not think he could fucking pull that all like he's been in the zone for 40 years Been killing it. I mean, it didn't seem to affect anything. He's got a nice kid for sure. She gets taken Yeah, but that kid whenever they think a family photo that other kids like in the corner somewhere or it's always kind of rough He looks just like him, too. It's crazy. Yeah, pretty wild. Oh my god He looks like a little Arnold a little of uh, he's only three months there Who's the guy Andre the giant he does Okay, that was the minute. Steve me. Oh, the maid sex But like one thing to fuck the mage you can't come in the maid crazy. Oh, you figured she'd clean it up If you come anywhere, she'll get to it But that's the thing is there's a woman in the house like a woman always go what the hell Why would he cheat on Maria's like what's a different vagina? Yeah, I don't do it. How hot it's too close proximity, too Yeah, I like Michelin food probably better look at that look the Popeye shows up. You can eat it Of course. There's no logic to pop like I look good. He's a bad. I'm gonna let go right there. What do you mean once we go back to that picture? Was that a getting the back button? Didn't you get track didn't Arnold get a little shit for groping back in the dead? Yeah, he's a little In the movie there's one thing on his mind in an eight what's for dinner? I'll thank that I mean even that even that the beginning of pump in iron Isn't it just like it's all about coming and then pumping and coming and punts. We have of course He's gonna fuck the nanny. What are we talking about the intro to his movie was about coming He didn't grow up enough to not be the governor of California. Yeah. Yeah governor California. Did you did you watch his documentary? I did and it's kind of funny. He's like feels bad about his dad for being a Nazi. Yeah, when home and lose in the war He's like those Nazis they really you know, hey where they felt really bad afterwards really glossed over that they did And he's talking about this one or the the documentary they came out like whatever last year. Oh, yeah They try to like sympathize that his dad. He's like my dad came in with problems and you know Yeah, that's crazy. So a young Arnold Schwarzenegger was it was a young kid in Nazi. He was in Austria. Austria in World War II He was funny to talk about Holocaust World War II when he's just like Race just pump in coming in the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at home Oh, yeah, in the nanny stage when it pumps up when it blows out in front of 5,000 viewers I get the same feeling so I'm coming day and night Dude, he sounds so retarded. It's crazy man. He must have really slayed through L.A. Just the gash. He was inhaling The 80s must have been a what do you might drunk uncle? What a talent. A lot of shrimp, huh? That's great The gash. Yeah, that wound But yeah, he must add a fun life. Oh Forget about it. And then he's the terminator and then he's the governor. I mean, yeah, he's living it up We were just talking. I was in something of uh, he made the most money on twins. Uh, 30 40 million or something with Ivan right And I think yeah, because they just they just think everything on the back end and it was like it's still VHS sales Yeah, that's always the weird shit. You know, uh, what's the arrow Smith guy paired with Tyler Tyler He made more on guitar hero than he said in all of his years. That's not guitar hero crazy video game What that's crazy. I thought you're gonna say more off of uh, um, again. Oh, I'm sure that's in her But yeah, yeah, see you never know what's gonna. Oh Tony Hawk more money on the video game. Yeah, and uh, you know, years of everything He told us that he went to meet you with his agent said, you know, what's the check for this thing? And came like a check for a million bucks. He was said the first check. He got was like six million dollars Imagine that. Oh, I'm glad I had a pen error bread. He had check for six million. Was that your office? No He said they were at the lunch I don't know. I don't know where this guy eats Oh, you had him on the pod. We had him on the pod. Yeah, he's a Norman fan. I know Get him on the pod. He was saying he was saying that marks a good skater. I saw that clip. Yeah, that's what I could say. Yeah, I met the world to me Yeah, that's one of the you never think you'd be there. You're very humble about that too. You never really bring it up That's not tight little body get a couple more get a couple more drinks in him. He'll talk about it. Skated. Yeah, no, my trophy at the my house. You a trophy I want a couple competitions. What I didn't know you skated professionally. Well, I wouldn't say I didn't have a sponsor except for out hey Yeah, yeah, I was just like kid. It was like comedy My before comedy comedy, you know what I mean? Like I was obsessed with it It's all I did. I had eight friends. We all did it together every single day for nine hours a day But you did competitions. You were a kid in Orleans. Yeah, damn. That's pretty good and you want a couple Yeah, sure. It's kind of like having like a side hustle thing like like the way you know a guy shows up to a pool horn You're like oh this guy's fucking good at this when you just whip it out. It's kind of shocking. Yeah, it's very shocking Yeah, but also I did it before black kids started skating so that was a little who's easier Just another thing they took from the white man Damn it Well, it was a very segregated like we had a we had a black guy in our group Marcel And he was a really good skater and black guys would be like what's you doing man? I mean it was 1976 Haha, I'm turkey Quarterback in the 80s and 90s that must have sucked hunter for talking about blades in a trail I remember hearing a interview with with uh Erkle Julia white. Thank you. And he said he went to he was the only white kid or only black kid in an all-white school in Pasadena And he was Erkle at the time and he said he got bullied quite a bit and it was racial So he left and went to a black school He got bullied more. Yeah, really because he was Erkle. Erkle showed up to the hood They went to town on his ass. He was like I should have stayed with the the whites Man, I just dropped out of school and get homeschooled your Erkle. What are you doing? Go to Chinese school something That is a tough as a tough character to be in high school for I see him walking around in the outfit too. I don't know why Well, that is tough to try to be cool. You know what I mean one that is your kind of spurn He's at the same high school webster's like get him Fucking Gary Coleman that guy must have had a horrible childhood Totally, I mean that's I want to bully him right now. Look at his kid And then when it because he was in high school he was trying to be cool. Yeah, it's like there's no way that guy can come to But he is kind of a cooler guy when you see him interviewed. Yeah, I don't buy it You're trying he's still a door when he turned into Stefan. You're like he is kind of cool. I don't know Stefan or Kel he's no he's still the guy that I would if I was like I see him as he's still in high school Like he's never not going to be that nerd. It's crazy. He never really did another thing because that show is so fucking big Well, it's like the sign filled curse if you're so good it actually hurts you in a tight pass Remember him talking about that but
did you talk about what they wanted the money? - Who? - Just Jason Alexander. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - That interview where he said how we, not that they ruined television, but the reason that they asked for so much money was because we went and be able to go on and do stuff after that. - They're gonna be so of George. - Yeah, but then it shows you how great Drifuses. 'Cause she still prosped. - Low-key, she's the best career of like anybody ever. - Easily. - Best best career. - Yeah, best comic actress. - Benjamin's old Christine, New Jersey's old Christine. - SNL. - SNL, now she's in Marvel. No, I'm just saying after, after-- - Marvel? - Yeah, I'm saying the whole career. - Yeah, she's picked up in a storyline for one of the last couple that they did and she's in Thunderbolts, which is like the next Avenger. - It's funny that you're in Marvel and to me that's like the least impressive shit she's done. - I know. - With money though. - Yeah, but she's fine. - Yeah, that's all right. - How long did Christine go on? What was that? Was that at least four years ago? - Yeah, it was a handful. - Couple of Emmys, yeah? - What? - Well, her dad's super loaded. Her dad's like a billionaire. - Yeah. - Yeah, something like that. - Which also proves the point, you know, you can be rich and still funny. - Mm-hmm. - Sure. Everybody thinks you gotta be a fucking prior in a brothel. - Oh, I think for stand up, you need to prohibit your work ethic, I feel. Stand up. She's naturally funny. She'll be funny on screen and sketches, whatever, but like-- - Well, you want to work on your own. - To get good at stand up, you really have to have a fucking gun to your head. - You have to have humility. - You gotta be hungry. Yeah, that makes sense. - 'Cause I remember like, you know, somebody like, who had money or whatever, we'd just be like, bark in and whatever, and they're like, "I'm not doing that." Like, they could bypass a few steps of like, I'm past this. - I bark for years, my parents said money. I mean, you know, wasn't-- - It's work ethic. - Yeah. - Yeah. - They're not you, Sammy. - Interflame. - That's right. - So I just fight in the dog. - I just met this kid. I show speed. You ever see that? - Oh, I saw this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Crazy clip. But it just shows this guy's the most famous person on the planet. - Yeah. - And he couldn't do stand-up. - Yeah. - We didn't give him the best advice. - No, I was trying to be funny. - No, no, it was hilarious. - It was great. - But then he, but then he really took your advice. I was like, no, he was kidding. - Yeah. - Mark was fucking with you. - Yeah, exactly. - Look at how many people are watching the stream right here. - 43 million. - Great. - 43 million people watching. - How many people hate you up about that? - I think I got one follower. - No, no. - He wanted to do. - I got a million comments and DMs and all that. - Wow. - And people would, like, all these blue checks are liking my clip. But I'm like, you would have never liked my clip before. - And you might not like my comedy. - Yes. - But you like this. - I did see a bunch of comics are very salty about this too in the comments. Did you notice that too? - About what? - They're like, I worked so hard to get on the stage and let this guy do a backflip, da, da, da, da, da. I was like, 40 million people watching him walk around. - Exactly. - That's why. - Wait, what's the big deal? - You're shocked that entertainment isn't a lot of comedy. - Yes. - You're shocked that he's getting spots every night. It was like a promotional thing, right? - Yeah. - He wanted to try it. - He was on stage for like 18 seconds. - Yeah. - Yeah, but people who have huge followings get to cut the line. We watched it when we, I remember there were people with the last name of a famous dude who had to cut in front of me who weren't funny, but they were, they had an end. - I think I know you're talking about it. - Yeah. There was a couple. - She hit me from family time. (laughing) - He did it. - No, but you had, you're like, but it's like, you're talking about having that in. Are they gonna have the drive to stick around? - Yeah, you have to do it. It goes back to the, you have to work. - Are they gonna have the drive to be like, I'm gonna tough this out. - That was just a stunt. - It's a social thing. Yeah, what are we talking about? - And I think it helps us because it shows, hey, this millionaire famous guy can't do it. So it actually looks better on us, I think. - Yeah, good for the club. - That's a mark price. - I always love Skippy. - He did stand up. - Hmm. - Wow, look at the hair on that guy. Holy shit. - I never saw that show, dude. - I don't think I ever-- - Why, I'm pretty good. - What a family test guy. - No, I know, I just, you know, some slip through the crack. - Yeah. - It was a crunchy liberal family in the sun so like a die hard Republican. - Yeah. - I was right there. I was in the perfect age when I dropped. - Norman, was that set up at all? Like, organized at all? Like, hey, no, he's just range, just randomly popped in. I mean, I knew that. I think he had it set up with the club. - He's got 18 guys, lights all over. Cameras all over, he had a bunch of riders with him. He's about to go on. Give him some advice 'cause that was, he bumped me. - Yeah. - And I was like, ah, and I slid in the frame. I was like, just say the end word. It was the first thing I thought of. - Wow. - And then we rift a little bit and then he did it, which I didn't know he would. And then he did a back flip, then he ran off. And that was it. The whole thing lasted 38 seconds. - Quick thinking. So there's a whole squad around him. It's not just like-- - Oh, yeah. - He got bodyguards and shit, yeah. It's like, I showed up to the stand. I was like, why is there like 30 cops here and cars lights way there? - I would drive me crazy. - That I get, the cops are so black, I walk in, they're like, we got to do something. - This is crazy. - Well, I was hoping Aaron Berg got shot, but it never does. So that's this business. - Damn, that is crazy. So he had a ton of security and stuff. - Oh, yeah. - He's so famous. I don't, I know who he is, but I don't know. I've never seen anything he's done. I don't think. - This is all he does. It just streams. - Yeah, but it's always YouTube, it's like a YouTube thought guy, right? Who's the other guy? Oh, Twitch. - I think it's on Twitch. - Twitch, yeah, size and size. - I know the names, but I've never seen any of it. - Sorry, a couple of old men. - I know. - I know. - A couple of boomers. - I show speed. - Where's that? - 43 million subscribers on YouTube. - On YouTube. - And then there's some open-marker being like, he bumped me. - Yeah. - Shot up. This guy could buy and sell most of Manhattan. Let him do a backflip. And he started in his room with eight five. - Sure. - They built it. - Yeah, they built it up. - Do you think like Royal Rumble guys are like, I had to work hard to get to this stage. - No, they're one in there because they know it's getting nice on everything. - Exactly. - Yeah. - Yeah, you know, everyone has their path. I get me in a young comic feeling that way, though, 'cause you like-- - Yeah, we had it, of course. - 'Cause we were that way and we had that, like, purity to it. Like, I don't, if someone famous who just didn't give a shit about what you give a shit bump, you're like, fuck this guy. - Sure. - I get it. - We said it about YouTube. It's abortion. - Fucking Norman coming in here. She cramming into nine spots in one night. - I'm murdering and I gotta go up after you. Looking like a dork. We were, 'cause we were in the village, we were like, you guys never already in the clubs, but we were like still, like, the village lantern days. When they started shooting all of those, there was always a TV show that-- - Like crashing. - Oh, it just all, it seemed like there was a sock. - It seemed like, I remember doing, we were standing on the corner of barking, trying to get a show off and Pete Holmes was shooting an HBO show about barking, like, 13 feet away. And he's like, are you guys barking right now? We're like, yeah, man. - Well, you're like, this is the document. - Yeah, this is, this is really, we're really trying to do it. - Damn. - It's always rough, we're not, you know. - You're just watching, you're literally sitting there and be like, "Oh, free comedy show." And then they're like, "H, the Judd Apital's there." And you're like, "I am, it's right there." And we are so far away. - God, I forgot about that. We got Judd Apital's there. He was in like a little video village. - Yeah. - Damn, that was, like, though it's productions were huge. - Huge. - You don't think about that, but you're like, "There's shutting down two blocks." - Yeah. - Yeah. - There's a pandemic. - Like, you know, yeah, for-- - They have crafts, sir. - They had a lady with a headset with a clipboard. Hey, you can't go here, I mean, that shit was huge. - Yeah. - Not for much longer, are they shooting shows that way? - No, that was when, like, productions were still productions. - It used to be such a bag of mixed emotions. Like, you didn't know it was, when you got down to the village and you didn't know that was there. And then that was just like another added thing of it. - Yeah. - Think about this thing at the cell. - You don't want, and whatever. - They shut down the cellar for a while for this. Remember this, we learned that the Bradley Cooper film? - Yeah, it's coming out soon, right? It looks like it could be interesting to me. It's like kind of artsy, it doesn't look like it's gonna be funny. It looks like it's gonna be like a drama. - Yeah. - Going with low-expect tape. - I feel like they miss a lot. How many bad stand-up movies there are. Oh, I do love Lord Dern. - Yeah. - Oh, we get, is she doing the pot or what? - You're getting the Dern. - Really? - Let's get the Dern. - Whoa. - Oh, yeah. The Derninator. - Salah Q says the Hollywood connections. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, that was a Salah Q. - I was thinking to a fraction. - Mad Goddard. - All right, can we go back to Roddy? I'm sick of seeing my dumb mug next to his handsome white teeth. There we go. - That's fun though. - But yeah, and remember when you see crashing being shot, you're like, maybe I just hang around. They'll throw me in it. I always had that thought back there. I never got on it. - But you were thinking that, yeah, that would make sense. All right. - I was on, but they cut me out. I was in, I was in the, but it didn't suck that much 'cause they, I was in the roast episode. And I guess Pete Holmes character and his girlfriend roast each other and it's like into the both comics. And it was roast battle, some roast battle. It was like popping off. And, but they gave us a writing credit 'cause I fed them a couple of lines. I gave a line that she used. I remember being like, that was a pretty good fucking line. I gave them. So they paid me, they paid us as writers for that episode. - I got a nice check. - Yeah, I think the line I gave, I think it was Jamie Lee. I gave her a line where I was, she was like, say something mean about Pete being religious or something. Or something like him being cheated on by his wife. That was the start of the show. So it was like, something along the lines of like Pete, Jesus isn't coming back and neither is your ex-wife. They both got nailed and earned a better place now. - Yeah, great joke. - You worked on the spot? - They would like, come up with a couple. I came up with that, I fed it to them. And then Mateo and I roasted each other on stage. And we, we had some good lines on each other. It was pretty fun, but yeah, they cut us out. But it was, you know, it's all good. - But you had to sit down and write those. - Yeah. - That's a lot of a little bit of work. - I wrote a little bit. - So it was fun. - No, that was gonna say the most surreal thing with the movies and stuff like that was, I worked at a Greek cafe on the corner of Bedford and Morton in the West Village. When Louie was, I guess, lived over there. And he was filming the show at the time. And I would see him like actually walking his kids to school. And then I would see him later filming that same thing in the production. - With actors, crazy. - Like, girls playing his kids. - I would see him live in his life and filming his life at the same time. - God, it was so surreal. - It's kind of the dream. He's kind of, you're like, this guy did it. - I was so into the show at the time though. - A lot of those days. - It was like, it was nuts. - That show was inspiring. Yeah, I'll vary the three episodes of a trying to get late night.
Dude I was literally just gonna bring up I watched every week. I was gonna bring up the David Lynch thing Yeah, that was one of the funniest things when he goes uh be funny right now, and he goes News man You're a com I'm a comedian comedian. I thought you were a newsman Comedy's about timing son. You got to get him. You got to tell him and you got to keep him He just doesn't say anything. I know it all started because he gets a bump than Leno or something. Yeah Tom Cruise went long Tom Cruise wouldn't show because I got him a motorcycle that's what it was Yeah, he doesn't like surprises. Yeah, it's the best thing about that I tried to ask Louie about this after we did after we had him on but I totally botched it and he looked at me I was an idiot. Yeah, he does it the Gary Marshall fucking and I couldn't articulate. I gotta push back He gave it to you. We had a good conversation about it. We did yeah, I think you were just freaking out He gave it to you. He was like yeah, I was like he really trying to articulate it in like a non-goober way of like what that meant and like you know what that means, you know Just the way Gary Marshall does that speech to him and like tells him the line. Oh, I can get you You were circling failure in a rapidly the king orbit. That is always always stuck with me That's every that's all of it. Yeah, crazy a circling failure in a rapidly It's crazy when legends talk about it like that way because I remember reading an interview with Conan and him being like this I'm when I'm dead. It's like no one's gonna think of me and you're like Conan thinks that way None of this means anything. Yeah, but it's as far as like a young comic scene there You know the experience guy seeing that fucking man those those episodes are great Well, that show would be so funny one minute and then it would have the seren a poignant moments where you're like it would I mean do the episode in the Hamptons where he does a gig with Jerry And he gets the astronauts daughter. Yeah, and he accidentally punches her. Yeah That's one of the funniest episodes. What is on the phone with Jerry? Oh, what do you think it looks like me getting involved in this situation? Jerry's such a prick. It's so good. He's so great. Perfect. He's so great. Perfect. Yeah, I am in suit The billionaires and trillionaires of the Hamptons. There's trillionaires. I don't know maybe Didn't he bang Joan Rivers and one? Yeah, are they bang? I know I know she would reluctantly was like yeah, you guys fine But that was there was a bug like there was as a young comic. There was great lessons in that Yeah, even in that one where he was like shitin on the casino and it was in his contract He's not supposed to show the casino and she's like who the fuck are you take this guy's money and then shit on Oh, and then she's like the manager's name I was the other thing she's like you don't know you work with him and you don't know his name like yet that had lessons There was moments where I find myself over like you're like, oh, yeah, what the fuck? I was asked to be here be a fucking professional and do you sure? Yeah Hamptons and a security jacket. Yeah Because he forgets the blazer. Yeah, there's up a t-shirt and jeans and like a yellow cat By the way, I've been there in private event things with it like that's what you wore and I'm like I don't know Like fuck yeah, oh shit. What are these panic? Oh, what are you talking about me? I might have the same tour manager as Louis, so we were just an actor and doing some gigs and he was like man I was watching Louis new hour. It's unbelievable. He's such a genius that guy watch him fix jokes and make it work Hey, and I'm kind of like yeah, I'm shooting in a week and he's like the Thai foods here Remember one time one time we were watching David tell at the comedy seller and shapel leaned over our shoulders to just watch a tell and Mark turns to shapel when he goes Do you like Dave and and shapel goes he's probably my favorite and we're like Mark and I was like whoa Like this is pretty cool. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah There's all those guys that you just like just tickled that you know, you see me like we're just we're just nerd now We're just like yeah, this is crazy. Harry gets me like that all time. Oh, dude. Oh, Todd dude. He'll hit a couple so I'll be in the back Dude, so I was with Todd last night. He broke five fucking ribs. He did Todd broke five ribs He was walking with a walker. We run into Amy Sederis on the street Whoa, and she goes oh my god Todd she and and she's nice at first But then she goes by the way that walker not doing great stuff for your age Oh my god, you just got zing by Amy Sederis. He left. He left. They probably heard a little bit But he left that she looked she looks good. He's still cute. She never knew for how cute she was Yeah, now I'll give you that for sure very cute and her day had a crazy rack Big fan What are we what are these? Are these peeps or what are these? Toast. Oh, so this is stuff people yeah, so we we peeve a lot in here as people know So mark and I were like we should be more positive We don't always have to bond over negativity We could bond over some stuff we all like as well. Yeah, things that go unappreciated like a toast like oh this is always I mean I got some peeps. I wrote down - you see a toast. Yeah, like a toast like to this. I like it. Oh, okay Big man's got bread on the brain. I got a peep actually. They'll kind of do a quick peep please People who write you annoyingly long text and then write thanks at the bottom because I think thanks is a substitute is go fuck yourself They do an emails too where they're like it's like it's like it's like bless your heart almost like where they're just like I can't do this I can't sorry about this thanks I don't understand that language at all and I am so I come across so bad and I have no idea Yeah, that's what they say and it's oh you're a bad text Oh dude a lot of dot dot dots a lot of like a lot of like he makes you Re-explake everybody's on the same page. You're in a group text and you're like hey something and he goes, huh? And you're like I just laid it out and like where's the there's no like also trying to meet you in the middle big voice to voice to text That's it that's a very LA move The LA people do cuz always driving yeah, I can't type all that shit. It's a lot to type. You know you're not you know I don't avoid because it never gets it right. I talk weird or my voice. No, but he's saying the voice Oh, he never picks it up correctly and you and then you have to go then you got to go what I wasn't Voice messages. Yeah, I do get them in whatsoever. That is pretty hollywood. I like that. No, I'm sorry I'm a call voice it spells it out. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you meant the voice memo I got those I don't like people do that's very European is it me and my wife does it for like they'll show me like I got an 18-minute Voice mail voice note from whoever crazy That dude they don't cut off now. Yeah, they're not in WhatsApp. I don't think. Oh, what's there all in what's that what's that's a whole nothing I can't even go in there. I can't do it I've like two foreign friends and I'm like I think this is it. That's all they talking. I think it's over. I mean multiple WhatsApp groups with like 25 people that are really I don't even open it. I always thought it was for you know, I see Hookers hookers. She was a hooker. You ever have this one? You ever have a guy go can we get a photo? And you got a selfie with some guy and you realize he's on Snapchat and you're like, where's that go? Yeah, I don't even up to the world. That doesn't exist to me. Yeah, I don't even fuck. How about the guy who wants to selfie But he puts the phone down here. I'm like well, we have to get her double chins in here. Oh, hold it hold it regular He's clueless. You got to go up. Everybody knows women never make that mistake. No, no, you got a pile What so what do the toast we guys? Oh a clean healthy poop. That's a toast. That's a great one That's I love a clean healthy poop. Don't take a lot of them, but I appreciate I'll add to that go one wiper You ever wipe once ago that was it maybe a lyrical Crazy if you ever have a 12-wiper and you're like how long is this gonna go? I hate the twelfth or the ring No, that's gonna come in the second you get involved Yes, it's like a 5 napkin burger coming out too slow. You're like, this man Here we go. I'm a great joke on parks or wreck. He's like, it's like I got a permanent marker coming out of my ass It's when it stops up the day. He had a lot of really good jokes He made it into the lexicon that I didn't know we're from him Oh, yeah, you ever seen that clip of him with the Kardashian joke It did the rounds and we got millions of views, but it's them bloop blooper real and she goes Kim Kardashian she's coming back and he goes I saw that video She did have a lot of come on her back and I think in that setting. It's like NBC. Yeah, yeah, the offer man's like It's great. Wow. He was so funny and that made the show. No, no I was like damn no chance. It was on the Christmas special Can I grab another beer? Cooler baby. Are you going to hot hot one out of the give any garage beer out there never heard of interaction? The obligated is garage is a good stuff. It's actually really good. I had it before With this ever happened. Um, I'm okay. I'm good. I'm gonna try to settle it right You can turn the bottle opener. Sure. Oh, it's actually really it's a really good light beer. Yeah, I love a lot of fantastic Blah, have you talked to the Kelsey's yet? Now we met the we met Jason's briefly at an event that we were and you big Your big Eagles guys big birds. Yeah, that must have been kind of cool. Cool. Very cool. Yeah, it was kind of hitfully with the hey good to see again Wait for the wedding. He's a pro though because it's like dude that immediately it was an event for the beer. Yeah Immediately everybody's just like take read this book and he's like they knew he was coming to this town Like we think it seemed like weeks before wow and even the even the places where you know He wasn't technically gonna be they were all packed. Right. There was all kids look, you know Autographs and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and then he does he gets over there. It's pretty crazy about as far as I work I think he gets over to the um Uh, the premiere of the short film that they did. Well, you know comedy thing for for the brand really funny and He does like press before that. He's meeting people there He's there watching the thing and then he's doing stuff for it afterwards. Whoa They had an after party at this bar like a 15 hour Wow, but the bar it was like kind of open. So there was literally just it was packed with people just waiting for him to walk in And he came in and I don't think this was really scheduled. I think it was supposed to be like just a chill after party He comes in he comes up to steps Stands turns right around bang. Let's go kids. Well, that's it. Yeah, that's the thing about like, you know, if you want And kids, what is the John Reep? All right, is he dream all back? Yeah, he was drinking. Yeah, it was kind of good I helped get through it. Yeah a little bit, but just just to keep
going on and on and bang, bang, bang, just, you know, smile on us. He's pretty cool. Well, like this, but with like bigger, you know, we've been in our own like super famous comics where they're like, hey, what's up? Like they have to do it, but it's always with like guys who look like us, like a big fan. Cool. Okay. To picture. Yeah. This is like kids and you're like, you see like, he's like talking to like a nine year old and he's like, hey, what's up, but and you're just like, man, you're fucking all you have to be on all the time. Just cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He seems like a good personality. Yeah. He's the man. We saw, we saw Bert do that as well. We did. Yeah, we did Chicago with Bert, the United Center. Wow. Like a bunch of stuff for it. Then Bert does, he works out, he goes up in just two hours and gets off that. And then we had a, we met with the guys from the, the black hawks. And when he's in there, he's like, he's on, you know, they're like standing there like watching. Like they're going, we're talking to the machine. Yeah, you know, he's working. Yeah. And he likes it. He's not like, oh, we got to go do this. I got it. But I'm just saying, man, it's said that the work they put us crazy. Good. You know, as that doesn't get us do Adam Ray. Oh, dude, those mean greets after the fucking face shows takes half an hour, 45 to get that fucking bullshit on the mustache, the wig. Then he goes out there zing and zang the crowd. Then he does the guest interview, another guest, another guest back in the crowd riff and riff and then he does a two hour meeting greet. Wow. After crazy. Yeah. We need to meet him after all that. Yeah. That's when that's when you realize like booze is like, oh, I fuck the first few days of the road. I'm like, I don't need a drink. Then after a couple, I'm like, I need to get fucking hammered. Of course. Yeah. And they did kill Tony for the massive regard. And last year, he showed up to our studio. We were doing something with him in the morning in costume. As soon as I got mean, but that fucking so kill Tony went on it, you know, eight o'clock or whatever. Yeah. He was at our studio at noon. Wow. Bull fucking makeup. Oh, what a beast. I know they Lewis did the Tony ones crazy good. Damn. Oh my God. That was incredible. Incredible. That was it. I was at all. Yeah. I was Tony Carousa's. All right. I love it. I was three feet away from the guy. And you're like, how's he getting his mouth to do that? I just saw one. I don't know if it's older. It's just I don't know. I mean, forgive me if it is, but he's the magician. Do you ever see that one? Oh, no. I don't know. It's I feel like it's older because I feel like it might have been bigger. You know, it's a dot. He does a magician act. Where's the carous brushback? It's like David Copperfield. Wow. You know what? I think there's something to be said for. Must be older backhanded, but there's something to be said for making it a little later. Sure. You're ready. Yeah. You're ready. And you're like, I'll do whatever I got. He was a road dog to it. Yeah. He was a road dog. He opened for everybody. He's always in L.A. It's always a good hang though. He's always a good. Yeah. It has to be Bruce Robbins. That's him. That's him in the middle with the bleach blonde. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a talent. Everyone's got. Everyone's got a. And the nicest. Yeah. You figure out your lanes. Yeah. Yeah. He figured it out. All right. Who knew it would be a fucking dog. It's all right. Crazy. This business. Yeah. There he is. It goes to show you. Don't know what's going to pop. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. I mean, John Reap. Now there's your twist offs. Oh, are they twist offs? Yeah. Yeah. John Reap. That's crazy. Crazy. You probably don't even know who he is. Who's John Reap? He's an older comic. Okay. Um. He's great with kids. No. Yeah. He just got called for pedophilia. What? Well, he wanted to feed a child porn. Oh, I know. I don't. I'm in my apologize areas. Yeah. I mean, look. Neither were great. On last comic standing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're really, you're really making a donation between the two. Littin' kids' hair is here. But yeah. Look at that. Ten counts. What does that mean? He had ten. Ten kids. I don't know. Count them. Can we make the text a little bigger? Oh, boy. There's two episodes. We're doing on Reapy. Oh, no. You can pull back. Yeah, it's hard. John Creep. I got to make it. We finished the last episode of Mark's like Creep. It was there the whole time. At least I got it out. I love it. You're like, we don't need to do this. Perfect line. Yeah. Here we go. Yeah. Jammed up. He was, uh, I think, I think you know, my patient linked to the IP cyber address from the cyber tip. Oh. Clear your history, boys. Or don't watch it. Don't look a job. Yeah. That's the big one. But, uh, yeah. You like what you like? Numbers, comedy specials. Yeah. I remember watching that season live. Yeah. And they went back to his hometown. He did a bit in his hometown that always made me my buddy left. He was funny. He had a big closer where he talked about driving up in like a comeiro and he would act it out and he had the music play. It was huge. You would murder camera when it was due to closer with it has a musical cue. I always resented it so much. Yeah. I mean, I hate it. But when it's, I mean, like, I think of like the, uh, you saw it live. You were like, who was it? Cedric has one. That's like where he's parking the spaceship or whatever. Oh, no, I only resented it. If they were, if they were like a middle act and you had to follow it, I got to follow a song and dance thing was sure. I know. Just change the energy. Of course. Very laughhouse. It's like the guy at a seller who does the rap. I'm like, put that fucker last. He is. He's always last. Okay. Good. Yeah. Yeah. No, she's not making anyone follow that. I feel like I've seen him in the middle. I think somebody got a bug at her ear. Who does the rap? That British guy, right? Yeah. British guy. I don't know his name. Cool dude. I can't think of his name. Shit. She's anytime or something. Yeah. Anytime or something that's not stand up, you're like, you're just putting it. But yeah, she doesn't make anyone follow them. All right, good. It's fall time to break out. There's classy and warm pieces from quince with staples like 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting just $60 and real leather jackets at prices that will make you want to buy two. You can refresh the whole wardrobe. These are great, man. I mark you have one of these, right? I got one of the cashmere like hoodies. It's it's so comfy. It's they make greats. I got a I got a suede jacket. I just got a raincoat and they're both killer. I wear it at home. It's so comfy. It looks great too. It's it's fitted. It's fantastic. 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range that one of my like honest idols love the fact that he could be so annoying and then you kind of just like feel for him so much and that was like I like that's that's a hard fucking thing to be like like I hate this guy then maybe like he's a nice guy I'm a piece of shit like he'd make you hate you yeah for judging him and you're like oh that's like skill as an actor as a comedian you know and don't slough on John John Hughes yeah and Steve Martin who's a great prick sure yeah Steve Martin dude Steve Martin in the 80s is insane forget about it oh yeah oh he could do a drama too he's in JFK that's right you're dead is that crap salad my man he was awesome in that yeah get those thick Roy Orbison sunglasses yes he was porn sweat yeah nothing worse sweat when you're eating in the world of maybe what crabs I'll don't really did he had to do a good crab salad yeah I love a good crab salad crab salad um do you ever watch the amazing Jonathan one yeah no I heard that's incredible like they were shooting two simultaneously he was pin him one against the other who and smoking crack well he's kept smoking crack the amazing Jonathan the magician I remember watching his Comedy Central presents as a kid damn you know I remember he was incredible he was doing he got diagnosed with saw I think that I think it might have been a big lot I don't know there was he'd have to go back and like really watch it he's telling like 50 different stories yeah and narratives while all smoking crack yeah wow and then like they're showing them smoke crack yep yep and then he's lying to like other documentary documentary team finds out there's another team shooting a documentary on mid documentary it's really good I said at once I'll say it again if everything in this country worked as good as crack be a lot better off sure yeah here here it does it is bad to thousand I guess we had a David Kross on he did crack once yeah right when I smoked it he goes I get it I get why it's so popular you feel great that's not what you want to feel when you when you try to stick out a little bit of crack oh boy Hunter Biden he's on next week I would like him on he was okay he's got stories oh my God he did Marin let's get hey Hunter come on yeah he's making the right he did that uh that dude channel look at that or whatever Angel Kale yeah like that kid wow that's some serious yeah what a hunter on here I would love to have hunter the trick you get on yeah charge card yeah there he is hey dude hold on that'd be a great name for the doc crack hunter Biden oh find out what's going on I'm not bad right he's wide open I don't think he'd appreciate it but yeah got a hand it to him only crack head to have a laptop and never sell it sure I mean that's one a while I mean that's all been there been there there yeah great damn good or that just to head in the toilet we're like I'm never doing this again cut to six hours later like I can have one I'll do a bloody barrier what's going on my head on straight that's a couple that's a couple of days up got even out who that's a couple of days someone hands you look at your though and you're just like I could fucking do one who is taking these pictures of them that's a great question I feel like that I feel like he's not really sleeping I could play Hunter Biden and some shit if I lay in the bathtub at that angle good good the gym a little bit I could be hunter why is there so much photographic evidence I think what he's all fucked up on crack what do you mean I mean dude imagine if you were when you were real fucked up you had an iPhone and the million I was doing blow on stuff like that I was worried people were taking pictures of me yeah I don't want any phones or don't can videos do I send you yeah quite a good time I save them all I drive bomb to the bar just yeah wait did you give up the the AMM yeah whoa congrats oh come on I say it three days ago don't believe what you don't believe what you're reading you do comments well hey ten years that's good I didn't know you were doing that hard right yeah I mean it was great I'll let the body fool you yeah that guy could really snow blow damn were you were you a big uh coke guy or no no no never I never got really big into drugs all my friends were like and still are you say you either never done it coke never done it we both never done it okay I was I was I was scared of it dude I'm not against it I mean I'm not a judge I had a coach when I was really young who was like Latin bias fucking Darryl John he just showed me all the guys who died from one time you so like just a random I mean dude we fucking lost friends to that shit yeah like yeah good examples Darryl strawberry yeah I'm left Williams Darryl strawberry was a fucking beast man those guys but he went he went hard religious now is he that is the side effect from doing too much drugs you might come back as a super religious for sure but he was a fucking killer man oh yeah I still have I still have friends who like we got into drug like recreational drugs is like yeah you know pills were real big go back to that picture of him in the fucking sweater vest living restores wife that's his way I mean that is dude this guy was fucking in between innings he's in a fucking sweater vest Gary old school wow good for him he's with the he's with the Karen from the baseball game you guys see that yeah yeah oh shit the lady got fired what is with people doing that I don't like the call for the job it's like hey someone's being shitty it's like so like the Twitter's always like find this person that's that's that's unless it's like a crime or like a huge degree the whole like the whole system of it sucks I'm getting to end all the great that mob shit sucks sucks and now this kid's getting blown by every fucking Philly and I'm like well hey I don't know if he deserves that either yeah easy to rip so he doesn't deserve but did you see did you see the battle around oh would you sure the kid is horrible the guy the US open to who took the he's bad it's like but then he's a guy he doubled that I agree with I kind of respect the double down but also I think like just I mean I'm out of comedy CEO millionaire okay how do you start out a millionaire well already people are gonna hate him because he's a millionaire which I also don't get but that's another argument but he yanks this dick move okay but his apology was very much like the world's tough it's not fair kid should have been quicker keep your hands up have a good day interesting okay just my thing is like if it's a little kid just let the kid have this crazy yeah that is who wants a hat from a guy like like in that like how can you be so like I'm gonna run up and stand there like I don't like this he didn't he gave was giving to the kid I didn't let the kid have the memory of course the player should step in and I was giving it to the kid he did you know they tell him and then he like met with the kid after yeah but he didn't see it that like he thinks he handed it to the kid yeah oh this is breaking my heart to then they put it in a bag and hide it right away it's like you fucking dirt bag this the guy now oh oh these are all the reed dards of the government yeah I do think it's kind of crazy like people's whole job and door pertinent maybe not job but like is like he's a CEO I know but like let me take it to here's my opinion yeah yeah yeah take him opinion I guess we're doing it too in real time but you know the hey yeah but we're opinion on this stupid thing very anyway what do you think fully I think more at seven now I agree yeah it's just all things sad yeah and dumb who the fuck wants so I mean I get it if it's like but it's like you're a million you can just go like hey spend $1,100 on a hat signed by this guy if that's how much it is I don't even know the guy but it's like if it's that you have the means to be like I want a tennis racket signed by this guy yeah I tried to get an Eli Manning signed helmet at a at a charity but it just kept going I was like it's for a good cause I'll just keep paying and then it's sort of point I'm like no I'm out this is insane yeah there you go yeah you know and that's it that's it I just won't have it for sure that's how you have to be as an adult you have to accept no I don't have everything yes I will say the fact that he doubled down is kind of cool because it probably shut it all down no it didn't people like fuck this guy well never mind but it turned me I'm like you know what yeah life isn't fair if I can get back on the get back on that horse and ride it hit a guy with a car right life isn't fair yeah all my insurance come on reype he's like life's not fair dude some kids are going to get churched off to both of said kids yeah is that the guy that's his tennis player all right well you got the photo with the kid okay it all worked out this is the good thing about social media there's a little redemption I guess he's got to do it you got that picture in the paper yeah good boy everybody would get out to think his PR team is like this is great for us you'll come out looking like a hero we just need ten minutes with the kid his name's Gary yeah yeah this is the thing with everything's on film now folks so watch out it is crazy you used to just like hear someone's a dick yes I heard that I heard that guy sucks it's like well here's fucking it's crazy it's like you try to think like you know play somewhat devil's advocate like you don't think any of us would ever do that in that situation but like you know some of them are like maybe you just didn't think or perhaps of judgment or you're caught up in the emotions that he's your favorite person you're at you just watched them win you're sitting at the gate and yeah I mean you know you know maybe that the lady in the Philly thing like thought she was wrong that he came over and stole my ball sure you know it's like pack back it up why do you give a fuck that much about a fucking baseball is the main problem but then you know she looks like an asshole going over
on it the guy. Yeah. And then the pieces just don't work. That's what the haircut the glass. Yeah, the haircut. But I feel like signatures now. I feel like back in the day an autograph meant more. Now it's like it's still it's weird. I feel like an athlete used to make a good living just. Oh, yeah. You're like Joe DiMaggio. You were a time I was like, you know, just sign balls. Right. You know, just chill. But that's like a convention, right? Yeah. Or are you charging on a street? Were they? No, no, no. No, but like you'd be like, here's a here's a hundred balls co-charged. Oh, sure. A hundred dollars. Yeah. We'll say open for a comic in Vegas. Not going to say his name. And you probably won't even guess it. But he had a hot moment. He was like hot for a year. I open for him. So sad. You're not far off. We were hanging out after and kids were coming up to him. Like, kids, you know, like John Reap John rise come on. I was right there. I think it was right there. Coming up to him at the show with their dads and shit. Like everybody loved this guy. And they were going, can I get a photo with my son? He would go 50 bucks. Wow. And he was like, the kid's like, I don't have 50 bucks. I'm a kid. And he's like, that's what I charge. And I remember sitting there. Like I was so uncomfortable. I don't mean greed. Just hanging on after. It wasn't meat and greed. Sorry. It wasn't me. All right. He was sitting at the table and I was just standing there, like hoping for a compliment. You know, you were good too. Yeah. Or this. I'll give it 25. I have to show you. Yeah. But the guy was so cold. You know what? Now he doesn't do it anymore. He doesn't work anymore because I think he got iced out. It's crazy. That'll go around. Yeah. That'll, that'll, that'll go. That, that behavior can't sustain. You want to make the 50 bucks off the picture and seeing the kid like, I just don't have it. I maybe I got 28. And then he was like, I couldn't even do cameo. I would do like, I know friends who like did it for charity. I'm like, all right. That's, that's cool. But like, I had people hit me up and like, can I get a video like my wife has cancer? But yeah, I'm not, I feel weird. I feel weird being like putting that on a fucking website. Yeah. But I mean, you know, we just do. We did one. We had Arion and we did like a funny, uh, because he's moved. He moved. So we were like, this is your going away. We were like, oh, the joke was your retiring from comedy. So we had a bunch of, we got a bunch of cameos. And I've net we did it early on when we really needed them to keep the lights on in the studio. We got some cameos on the very expensive dude. Like Wayne Newton to get within, to get Wayne Newton to get within 24 hours might have been like a thousand. What? How, what do we get on the pod? Jerry, store, stolar, Kenny Manion. Oh, Fred Stolar. Stolar. Oh, buckles. Don't start out with me. We were going back and forth with buckles the other day. I can't see my mom. It's like I got to take the bus out there. There's no trace. Take the jacket. So good. I can't do the voices. Get to the voices. I just, we were talking. We were talking. We were done. Watch the episode last week. Man. So fun. You better move that call girl. You know, you guys will appreciate this. You know what it gave me the vibe of and when I saw it as a as a kid or whatever had no idea that I would feel this way about it. But it really shows like a like a winter night in New York City. Yeah, run around doing. Yeah, man, it really. That's the best. There's something beautiful. It makes you feel good. There's some. Yeah, you feel like you have heart. You're like, I'm fucking. I'm fighting to stay in this. Yeah, you really doing you really like, it's so funny. Like in my head and you're like doing it and you're like, there's nothing at these doctors and whoever's around like, this is the most important thing. Is it me to make it to my 812 spot or whatever. And you're like, get out of the way. Hold the train. I love it. I fucking do art. Yes. And you're like, I'm contributing to the city. This is like, I am part of the nightlife as a fucking city. I am running around. I am a cog in the room to the movie and all that kind of stuff. Right. Yeah, papaya dogs. Oh, dude. I got a movie wreck. I got to shout out two people, Todd Barry and Santino who both told me to watch this movie. It's called Force Major. Have you heard of that? I've heard of it. I feel like I have. It's fucking crazy. It's about like this family on a ski trip. It's from like 10 years ago. And there's an avalanche. And basically the husband doesn't, he runs away in panic. I see this clip online. Yeah, he runs away and leaves the family. And then they're all okay. But the wife doesn't respect him. And it kind of goes from there. It's pretty, it's pretty good. She's starting nailing somebody. Watch the movie. It's a good movie. She's starting nailing someone. It's worth a watch. All right. It's a good flick. All right. Speaking of running around in the city, that feeling, my wife's gotten and she got into that. Look at that. Yeah. When we do it, I'm like, I feel like Norman. Yeah. You always had a breath. Always had a breath. City bike. Just making it. Uber subway. Whatever. The worst when you get the the Liz text. Where are you? Oh, I hate it. Where are you? Because that means you're supposed to be on right now. Yeah. Sure. When you get to work like the one night. Yeah. Yeah. Three to three. She screamed at me in front of a friend who didn't understand the culture. And she's like, Hey, asshole. You're on around the corner. My friend was like, who was that? The police chief in like an 80s cop movie. You're like, you're fucking everything up. Your face is shit. It was a pile up of cars. I'm in all over town. That's funny. Ever in point break. You're like, why's it being so mean to keep on? Yeah, we get the guy. That was a character. Yeah. The movie rules great movie. Utah. But uh, point is my wife's watching this high maintenance show. Yeah. Yeah. That HBO, right? Yeah. The whole thing says Brooklyn. Yeah. It's a kind of a no name. It changes every every episode. Yeah. Every episode is a brand new cast, brand new thing. McEver did want. I think I think we're directed one or something. It's a brilliant show. That guy Benson Claire. Um, brilliant show. But I don't know. I'm surprised. Just didn't come across your radar like a Sherman's it. Everybody's in it. You know, there's jerk. No, there's a partner or this paperland or but everybody's in it. But point is he rides a bike all over Brooklyn selling weed and he's like meeting up with people. Their tiny apartment has a drink with this guy goes and gets laid in a back of an SUV and then he gets back on his butt and he shows that sunset over the brown stones and it just gets you pumped up about living in New York. Yeah. There is something to do in that like fucking that that train calculation of like yeah. Should I take an Uber or is it the L to the whatever. It'll get you that you know that kind of thing. And then when you do have the time to be like I'm walking from New York 24th to the cellar. So I'm going to throw in the headphones and you're a nice fucking spring or autumn night walking through like walking under the arch and that less fourth nothing's better. Street performer. There's gonna play music. There's a guy juggling and there's a hot girl. That's just the best. You play you play the touch my leg. It sounds very fat but just on a very simple that slice that we had. We came out we recorded something downtown. We were in the lead a walk over to pizza place. I'm starving starving walked in a slice each in a Diet Coke me and Kippy walk outside Chris bear. Oh eight outside. I did that man. Someone came up. I was like I love your sugar. We get a picture of what's like. I'm like how long brand is this? Do you have any brand? I know that's crazy. I'm like no I try to put it like there's something about that. I think about that. I'm like I would give up you know a backyard and all that stuff to be yeah that's what it is crazy. I was something about it. I'm spending the I have a house in the suburbs so I was I've been spending the summer there since we had the kid to be easier room space. The whole nine yards and we were hanging out with like I went to a barbecue but no one I knew my wife knew one of the couples and I was like you know what let me just go be John Q dad the husband suburban I I don't have been great but she was like the one the woman's like oh you guys spending your time in New York or are you going to be here mostly I'm like I just I'm like I can't walk away from New York show business. You can make you win in a team. Why am I talking? Why am I talking? I do there's something that she's like why and I'm like I don't know but even if I'm just coming up and I don't have spots I'm coming up to like record the the pod I you get in the city and I'm walking on six have and I'm like yeah this you get I can't explain it but I'm part of the city I struggled here for so long. Crazy. We have it now and we're like and the city's moving. Yes. The energy is good for comedy. The second I'm around total quiet and I feel I'm in LA I feel so isolated and I'm like how do I fucking create stuff here I don't know. I'm okay. I was like I'm not that in a mind. Yeah but it's still a city. Yes but just the and plus it's it's you know fucking probably would. You know here I come the back of your head you have that but can't beat New York. The stimulation the energy you got in the street. I any city where you a Chicago's got it too. Certain city where you just walk out you're like there's a fucking energy. Oh yeah. I feel like you're a part of something. Yeah yeah you know when you go out drinking all night in New York and you're the sun's up you you fall out of the bar and you see like a guy in the back of a truck doing box. Yeah the city's already going or yeah you're like he's like dropping off the bread and you're like you're like cranking a cig and you're like I'm going home never picking it and cheese it knock out for it. You're like you're like you're like passing a baton and a race where you're like I'm I'm I'm going in for the night you pick it up. That's great. That's great. That's great. That's great commercial for New York City. Yeah that's great. That is really good. I'm doing advertising to the city here guys. It's like New York City. The city that never sleeps. Yeah. I never heard that. That's really good. Yeah yeah but that that is the best and that's why all these come guzzling queeps from the Midwest or whatever they go. I don't know how you live there. I don't know how you have the rents of a million of your apartment's the size of my sister's dick and dead of night. You know the fuck it's pretty big. Prime and the subway. Yeah just like that. By the way we never say that to you. They know how the fuck do you do that? No. Exactly. I mean I see the like I see like you know like for me specific is like yeah I might not buy a house I might just stay here and rent and you know maybe they find me in some apartment downtown in three weeks as an old man or whatever. It's like that's right. Holy shit boys. Yeah you know what I mean? Yeah and then you think you're I'll accept that I'll take that for this until Zoran gets it
No, the energy is fucking incredible man I mark and I talk about this all the time But like the basis for this pod was just us being at the seller the the blackout shades being Yeah, and we didn't know what time it was yeah, and we leave and we'd be like fuck We make one more one more that turned into and then yeah, and then you go out and it's fucking 7 a.m Exactly, and we were like wow I tried to even make that we try to show it We try to make that a show years ago that called last spot of the night last part of the night where it was We would shoot it at like one in the morning. Yeah, after everybody was running around doing the spots And we'd sit with a guest and we sat with like shults Donley Akka. Would you have tonight? How in the spots blah blah blah. Yeah, I had this one girl. She was doing this. Yeah, yeah, we were just at a bar We're literally we had we did it at the corner of a bar drinking We shot it in New York, I mean, remember when they had that other space next door And they were gonna turn into like a lounge for the coffee. Yes. Yeah, I kind of like did the coffee shop Yeah, the coffee shops nice, but for a while that was just they had it It was all that we're like, yeah, we have fucking perfect shot out there, but it's just never Never worked out that up on the tube. I think it even might be all right It was corny. We didn't know what we were doing, but it was just like that's what oh shit I'm like we even try to do like an audio version of it. I'm like that is a show to me I mean, that's what I like hearing of like breaking down the salad. There's one person this type thing But usually it's time to give those jobs to people in road kids You always say I make good comments watching I like I like Mike Lupeca Lucy it's crazy though because that's like you probably just rent that out as a space now because like I was in we played that basketball tournament for Kenny DeForest RIP Kenny on Saturday and It started to rain so we'd to finish the game You know we finished the game in Joel Kowski God bless him is like he's like we got to finish the game It's a championship so we find some guys got a home and green point And there's a basketball court in the home and we're walking around some of those luxury all amenities buildings in a big building Not just his home, but I think it's incredible that is there so it's like a gorgeous court and we're walking around like oh It's got like a movie room down here. It's got it's got a fucking podcast studio down there That's great. Just like that's what is like a fancy thing in a new building now It's like we have if you have a podcast you can rent that out right you have to fucking go to war with these people Peters I know yeah, they're encroaching on yes, it's gonna be like two rich housewives being like what's weird about whatever? Yeah, no dude you literally probably just have like a you're like oh, we'll just start a podcast and the studio down here We'll give it a shot. No one ever uses that stuff in the building. It's all right. I know they never do Yeah, even the basketball court was wide open on a weekend. I'm like we can go Greenpoint a little Polish food Greenpoint's cool man green Polish food is so fucking underrated. All right. Yeah, it's still fucking Polish - like there's no You know something like like a Jewish neighborhood. That was a black neighborhood. Now it's just right That's Polish. I got a wreck for you if you're in Greenpoint Peter Pan Bakery. Do you get a fucking apple fritters? Yeah, comedy fan one of the I think the son of the the son of the owner of the head he hit us up. Yeah I said I don't know Peter Yeah, it's been a green point in 10 years. It's why you've been in this area for sure. I used to go there all the time I used to live in Bushwick, so we went to Greenpoint to try to meet also shout out Chrissy Pete. Do you know Chrissy pizzas? Chrissy pizza out in Greenpoint. Who's that? He was uh, we played we talked about him all the time But if we're talking about you guys good good wrecks He's sort of making pizza in the pandemic kind of blew up and then now he's got his own his own place out there. It's fucking awesome I like fucking Baker. I just did the donut pub On 23rd Yeah, yeah, I don't really late night. Thank you Donut Avi and Rachel once and it was like one of the most fun nights It's like just you just you're just like I'll get like eight donuts. You have a couple bites of each you get a late night coffee Exactly Louie in that episode. Yeah, yeah, Louie did that episode with the bully in the donut pub. Mm-hmm Yeah, dude That kid's Mike Barrett. He's on the soprano. He's he's my friend's friend from growing up. Bobby Bobby I don't know what time. Yeah, you just talk about it. Bobby because when Bobby talked about Bobby Kelly He's talking about going there and having a coffee and this and that oh man. I wanted a crawl is so bad Very New York moment every day. I walked out of patties one night. Oh, and like 20 whatever what it's that on second Av or third of it's like they they would all use a let us they used to lock the door and let you fucking hang out Yeah back when I was still drinking that heavy. Oh, yeah, and I walk out sun's up I take a cab uptown I get and I live up by the George Washington bridge and like I get out and I stop Get like a gatorie and like a bacon egg and cheese or something or whatever and I'm like you know what? I've never walked across the George Washington bridge. It's like six o'clock in the morning You know in the spring as well. It's like getting kind of nice. I'm like this is amazing. I look like shit I'm like he's fucking dude. There's a guy there before they put the net up. There was a guy in a booth Now there's they put the railings up, but it used to be just like 40 people caught there Scrammer like mosquitoes And I didn't realize and I'm sitting there and I'm walking across the bridge being like this is amazing And look how cool this looks and the guys like Walks up to me like how are you doing man? Oh, he's thinking I'm jumping dude. I'm I come and I'm stumbling down I'm by myself. Yeah, he's beautiful. I love the pod. Yeah Don't do it man. You're not garbage man. It's not that serious. You'll be on crashing one day Jumping off of bridge is pretty garbage. Yeah, that is a garbage Yeah, what are the more what are like what's a sophisticated suicide and what's a good garbage? The suicide pod seems pretty classy. You got to have money to get to Switzerland or wherever that is a suicide podcast No, it's no step on that Yeah, these new buildings they got them. We have no sponsors You can go to switch them and get put in a little I like how you Google best ways to kill yourself and it said help is available Of course, that's better help calm slash. We might be drunk Suicide pod fuck that well because it's illegal to do like in a lot of people if you're like really sick or something Asia they call it. Yeah, right? Which is it's a weird word in Asia like a young change in Asia. That's what I hear. Yeah, same Yeah, no, that's what I thought it was for like way too long. I thought it was a band that I got checked out You're done like a dog. Yeah, right, but didn't that calm. I'm drawing a blank for his name. He was fucking from Killtony Michael Learner learner. He did it. He did assistant. I believe he did assisted suicide. He's dead. Yeah Yeah, I think he took his life in like Seattle. No, you know, and how does that? How does it assisted no airman? Fuck He's super funny. That guy was a good actor. Yeah great. I have Michael. I think it was Lerner. Lerner I'm I can't believe so how do you do and we get it up? I? Don't get what the pod does is like a no, it's like you go in and you press up because no one can administer the drugs for you. So you go in I think it's just like in the woods and Switzerland. What happened to guns pills? Car engine what do you call that carbon oxide and the garage? Yeah, that's the classiest show with the kids to see. Yeah It's exact little momentum. That doesn't need to be that futuristic. Yeah, this is great. I mean that looks too cool I want to get in there Movie with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence Yes, looks like a wave runner. Yeah, I mean I wasn't bad. It was a good movie. What is it called? Remember but the kids gonna get that's what it looks like a spaceship. Yeah, it's in Switzerland My little bit of Switzerland is oh they're opposed to it. I don't know you voting over that thing The Switzerland is a strange place. Yeah, yeah, they get freaky. We don't want to get involved in any wars But come here and kill yourself. Yeah, right number one in quality of life, by the way. Yeah Yeah, they're crazy You know a traffic ticket can be up to one year or a one-month salary. It's dependent on how much you make what? Yeah, speeding ticket in Switzerland Every country's got that thing like come to Turkey for a hair transplant come to Switzerland to kill yourself Yeah, there you go, but maybe if the quality of life is so good Maybe if someone wants to kill themselves they're like they really want to go Do you see if he did his sister suicide, right? He chose the assistance of a doctor. Yeah Michael died with dignity on his own terms That is life part. Shout out to him. Yeah, remember when he did Andrew Nice claim They they was like kill Tony was still at the Vulcan. They brought him up. I think he was in a wheelchair He was in a wheelchair at the time they got him on stage and dude. He did Andrew nice murder Fucking yeah So good like in a in not in not great like he was in very bad shape But still hitting the fucking nodes working the crowd like killing that was my first introduction to him It was yeah, I didn't know he's in a wheelchair. This changes. Yeah, no, he was yeah Yeah, he was he was in he was in he was in pretty bad shape All right, I'm super funny. That is super talented super funny and to push through all that yeah, unbelievable All right, P this guy. Yeah, right. Yeah, he was fucking awesome damn, but still I I don't understand why not just do it yourself I don't think he had I don't think he had the capability to do it At the end you can do it for free Oh, he couldn't even I don't I I don't know the deeds But I think it got to a point where he couldn't like somebody here if he was like I want A gun that'd be like we can't give you remember doctor Kavorki and it was just a moral debate. Yeah, oh, yeah, played by the great Al Pacino Is is what he's doing ethical or is it evil he was doing on a hotel downtown or something like that wasn't what was it deal? They are not gonna great doctor. Yeah, I mean it was something me at the best Western I have points there Yeah, like I only know that name it's anonymous with killing you know, it's just a suicide. Yeah, they called him so weird He doesn't look friendly. No Oh, yeah, that guy looks like death. He looks like a Nazi doctor. What was his deal? He was helping he was doing assisted suicide just out of kindness. Yeah, yeah people looking looking for a skate Some people who are in great pain if you don't believe in the afterlife and the people who are suffering
and you think you're helping them. - Did they put him in jail? - I think that was the big thing. I don't know if he ever went. - Why is he in that wheelchair? - The court. - He had to go for it. - Damn. - Fatal injections to-- - 10 to 25, 10 to 25 years. - Damn. - Damn. - Eight years. - He served eight years. - Wow. - He's knocked that down, don't think? - Yeah. - Someone in prison's depressed. He's like, let me talk to you for a second. - Bring your bitch to me. - Don't tell you. - There's an easier way. - Damn. - I heard that's what got him staying. (laughing) - Oh yeah. - Wow, good times. - Good times. - The 90s were wild. - Wild. - It was like a different, fucking day of the OJ. - I feel like that opened the door, though, to the, you know. - What's that? - Everything, watch everything. Everything, you know? - Oh yeah. - The OJ thing. - Right. - Yeah. - Everything, you know, Pamela Doc was 90s. - I was just so surreal. I remember we were on Senior Week when that happened. And it just came driving down that highway and that white Bronco. - I got Gendison. He wants to go see his bitch. - Poor little pink-ass. - I remember watching SNL with my friends when I was 14 and they went breaking news. Diana has died. - Wow. - And I remember where I was, what time it was? - Sure. - Crazy. - I remember Phil Hartman. That was one that hit me. - Oh yeah. - Where are you? - I was just watching TV and it came on, like Phil Comedian Phil Hartman has been shot dead by his wife and I was like, what the fuck, damn. You know, obviously, who wasn't the big Phil Hartman fan? - Yeah, sure. - Kobe was a monster. - That was a later one. - Crazy. - That was brutal. That was like the beginning of the end. That was like a month and a half before Kobe. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That was like, you go back to like January early, that month, like, holy shit, we didn't know how good we had it. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. And then R.E. lost his whole career. (laughing) - What was this? - It's a sun. - What? - Yeah, 'cause there was a standoff in the driveway, right? For a little bit. - What is this? Just take him out of the car. What's going on? - I know, he had a gun. Well, can't they put eight guns on him? - Yeah, something. - Yeah, something. - I mean, I mean. - I think the whole thing is they didn't know how to deal with it. It's like-- - Someone get Jack of working on the phone. (laughing) - We hostage and negotiate with Jack of working. He's so funny. As soon as he did this, everyone knew. - Yeah. - He's like, what are we doing? - Yeah, you're not innocent. - And by the way-- - Crazy. - The Bronco went away and made a great comeback. The Bronco was killing him. - Yeah, well, he killed production of that car for 30 years. - Was it that long? - I mean, what year was this? - Yeah, it was 94. - 94? - Yeah, they didn't come back until-- - It's just like 21. - 21. - Integis killer. - Wait, who is a killer? - Wait, really? That even not just the white ones, everything? - I think, yeah, I don't know when they, I mean. - Malania had a great joke about it. He's like, imagine something's so bad, they get rid of the camera. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, good point. - Yeah, you imagine being the guys that Bronco, like, see that, oh, fuck. - I know, that's-- - I just put in a pool at my ass. - There was a bar in Philly, a dive bar in Philly, and there was a sitting there drinking. This is fucking before I started doing comedy. And there was a Heisman up in the corner. And we're like, me and my boat are sitting there, we're like, is that a fucking Heisman? Like, there's no way that's real. And then we asked the bartender, like, dude. Is that a Heisman? He's like, yeah. I'm like, who's is it? He's like, you'll never guess. He's like, oh, Jays. - Get outta here. - 'Cause if they, he's had to sell all that stuff when he lost the civil suit, well, you got found guilty in the civil suit, he had to sell everything. That's why he went back in. That's when he went to jail. - Where'd it go for is what I want to know. - I don't know. He's like, the owner bought it off a guy who bought it off a guy who bought it. 'Cause remember, he went to jail for breaking in steel and all this member wheel about it. That was stuff that he had pawned that he had sold. - God damn. - It's fucking awesome. - It's crazy. - That is hilarious. - Wow, at a point. - Yeah, I'll say this, Jersey, we're roomians. - Sold at an auction in 1999 for 255,000. - Oh, wow. - The hell pay for damages is so strong. - Yeah, one guy needs money, so he sells it to another guy. - Yeah, it just went down the road to this 50 bucks. - Yeah, if you have that money. - But you're willing to buy that, you're probably not great with money. - Yeah, so you might be in a pickle soon. - Yeah, you probably have the exact amount you're willing to pay. - Imagine what ends up on storage wars. Vanacole smits a pill jar. - We did that on Patreon. That was not stores we went and went to an auction. I was like, one of the goals where we'll go buy, and we'll go buy, it's a wild scene. - Got a mint condition, Mickey Mantle card. - Shut up. - No. - All right. - Got like a hair roller blades and fucking a bunch of spider. - He's gonna be on in like 50 years being like, my dad had this and the guy's gonna, where you're not gonna believe this. This is O.J. Simpson's Heisman Award. She's gonna start crying. Wait, this is amazing. - This is John Rick Cetless. - I'm paying for my kid's college. (laughing) - This is Cosby's sweater. - I'd probably, that still gross. - I would buy that. - He's probably got a lot of them too. - Oh, yeah, tons of them. I mean, we could raise some money. - That's true. - He gets some good well back. - Oh yeah. - Wow. - Good juice. - That was true too, back in the old days. Not the old days. I'm actually like, we're 90. But you'd see cool shit at a bar. - Yeah. - Yeah, we're just like, oh, that's, yeah, whatever. - You could pull up a moderate shot. - I was, you could still smoke. - We were still smoking in bars and Philadelphia at that point. - Remember, you go to 2006, '7? - Yeah. - What a restaurant. It was like Jersey's behind glass. - Look at a moderate shot, a moderate shot, the athletes' best men and wedding. - Oh, wow. That's his best man. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, Jane Cosby. - No shit. - Oh, man. - That's true. - That's true. - Guys, these are my two best friends forever. - Wow, and William Stevenson, didn't you? - The Federation of the Officials. - William Stevenson. Rest in peace. Well, you got the whole cast there. Is that Lisa Bonet and Felicia Rashad? - Yep. - And looks at. - There's sisters. Harvey Weinstein's at a picture here, but yeah. - That's crazy. - You got to play the crap, sorry. - Sorry. - Sorry. - That's all right. - Oh, man. - Damn, that's wild. That guy can pick him. - Mm-hmm. - Man, talk about that fucking nuts. - Oh, he married her. - Yeah. - Oh, okay, okay. Got it. Damn. Good time. - That's a rough wedding, wedding album. - It's also crazy when you hear how mean Bill Cosby was to read any Murphy. - Sure. - Really? - Yeah, he's a real dick to him. He's like, he's too dirty. You suck, you know. - Yeah. - Real comedy. And then he's like, jeez, I looked up to you. - Oh, you caught him, I'm sorry. You caught him on the phone. - Yeah. - You have to be watched, uh, delirious. - Hm. - I always say, if someone is too outspoken about something, they're hiding something. Yeah. He's too, he's like, you got to pull your pants up. You got to be a bit, bit, bit, bit. You got to act right and whatever and not curse. - Well, being self-righteous about it, there's no need. Like, you could be a clean comic and people were like, well, that's cool that you're able to do that clean. But then the guys who are like, I only like clean comedy. That's kind of weird to me too. - Yeah, yeah. - Like just liking one thing. - Yeah, he loves, I have a loves prior. - Yeah. - That's true. - Yeah, that is weird. - I saw a great, it was like a meme or something. I was like, damn, sign felt so rich. He just pays the other most famous comedians in the world to make them laugh. That's all comedians in cars. He's like, hey, come here and make me laugh for an hour. - Well, if the waitresses rolling their eyes, 'cause it's two fucking goofballs going, what's that coffee? (laughing) How butter your bread? - Come on, if you're a waitress, that's not the worst day. You're waiting, Jerry. - I thought. - You're waiting, I'm Jerry and Paul was good with that. When he went out on a bowl of pickles. - Oh, yeah. - Chicken salad. - Yeah. - He's got a great IZ pieces. - It's been making the rounds with Sarah Jessica Parker. 'Cause she's like, oh, she's like, oh, what's the tip here? And she's like, oh, I always tip 25% or something. And he's like, no. - No, she's like that. - Yeah, no, that's what she said. 'Cause she goes, oh, I always tip 25% and he goes, no. He's like, 'cause every, you're gonna say, this waitress is gonna say, I waited on Sarah Jessica Parker and they're gonna go, the first question is, what did she tip? - Yep, yep. - They can't, their answer can't be $7. It has to be $50, $100. - I thought she said that to him. - No, he said it to her. - That's so funny, 'cause I waited on her. - Whoa! - And she knocked it out of the park. - Hey! - Hey! - Heavy, she said 25%. - So heavy, she had a miss, that's the thing too, people miss speaks sometimes on these things and then it's there forever. - 25% is still solid. That's not when your Jerry Seinfeld-- - Yeah, when it's like-- - Baldwin said that too in that episode. You know, we have to leave like $1,000 tip. - Yeah, exactly. - 'Cause it's us. - How'd she look? - Great. - Yeah. - This was 10 years-- I mean, so beautiful now, 10 years ago. - Mark's gonna think-- - I got a bit of a-- - I like her, oh, yeah. - Big, the worst. - Big the horse mug. I like it. - Yeah. - Is she Jewish? - I don't know. - But she was fake. - She came off great in this. - She looks like every girl I grew up with. - Really? - Yeah. - The big honker. - Yeah. - The blonde. - Her buddy, Dave Jessica, he used to hang with her back in the day and he said she was the coolest. - Yeah. - Yeah. - She seems cool. - Yeah, she's awesome. - I would like her on this. Why can't we-- - I would love her. - Could we pull Sarah Jessica Parker? - I'll take her husband too. - Yeah, I would like to do a great-- - Dude, I got a good movie wreck with him. You ever see you can count on me? - No. - No. - Great fucking movie. - I'm a big fan. - I'm a big fan. - Oh, actually. - That's a great fucking movie. - That's a great movie. - You can count on me, great movie. - That roofalow? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, wow. - That's a great flick. - Huh? - Kenneth Lonergan, man. - Murray Culkin, the weird Culkin, the sleeper Culkin. - Hey, Culkin's got to eat, baby. - 95% on drop. - It's really good, 2000. - Yeah, that's a-- - It's like a dramedy. It's solid as hell. - Okay. Oh, Josh Lucas, he's always good and gay. - Yeah. - He's always good and gay off. She was good now and then. - Amy Ryan, she's good. - Great cans on Anita. - Yeah. - Her beer is quite a couple of yabos. - Gabby Hoffman was a little girl and-- - Should I never. - Is that right? - I believe so. - Yes. - Good pull, dude. family's fucking good with movies, dude. - That's too muchy. - Should we do a couple more toasts? - Get some good vibes. - Can I grab another beer from you? - Please. - I got-- - We got Legion of Skanks after this. - No. - I'm holding it into a fucking-- - Get ready. Buckle up. - You guys are in the zone today. - I love it. I gotta slow down. - Yeah.
- I'm chilling. I'm hitting the luncheon and nappy poo. - I know. - In the studio. - Where are you going? - Thank you, I'm gonna hang on to it though. Yeah, thank you brother. I don't want to waste a cold one. - Football season as a toast. Not having to type in your password. That's the best one I've heard. - That is a huge one. - Great, you're one of that's great. - Oh, when it just does the face thing. Oh God. - One guy wrote titties. We can all get behind that. - Titties and scansl plans is another great one. This guy's on my wavelength. - Cancel plans is a biggie. - That's big. - Was it Malania with the bit where it's almost like better than heroin? - Yeah, yeah, Todd Berry had a great bit too. - Yeah. - My wife was having a party the other night. She's like, "I'm gonna have some people over." And my head, I'm like, "God, people really." And she's like, "Yeah, I have some peace." She loves entertaining. She wants to bring, we have a cool house. She wants to bring people over and sit out in the backyard and have some drink. Which is great. And you need the yin and yang. I'm the cum guzzler. - Do you hang with them when this happens? Or do you hide out? - I pop in and out. - No kidding. - I do my time. And then I recharge, and I go back, it's-- - Really? - Yeah, it's hard. - Are any of them common friends? Or they're all based from, they're all from her world? - They're all from her world, but they're cool. - Yeah. - Today's except me. - Sure. - Just meant like there's no like-- - You can dip in it out. - Oh yeah. - Look at you. - Well, I have to. If I stay out there, I'll start twitching and shit. - Okay. - It starts. - This is insane. - When it's your home, you can kind of the advantage you can put on the slippers. You can kind of be like, "Oh, I'm gonna figure this out." - I gotta go check out the water heater. - Okay. - I'm a big, I'll run to the store. - See you later. - I'll bet Target with a beer buzz, like wandering the aisles, like Lebowski. - That's pretty good. - Yeah, so-- - Everybody gets that. - She was having this party, and you know, the whole town, like, "Ah, the party's a week away." - Like a party party? - Like, like, like, 20 people, drinks, music. - Food? - You don't gotta be out there with her. - I'll do, I'll do half of it. I'll do, you know, a little bit. I can't do the whole thing. I just can't do it. I'm sorry. - You got it, they got a big place. - She's walking, he can hide. - A lot of hiding. And I got the baby. I gotta check out the baby. - All right. - He's a hyper chain. - Mark literally had a baby as a buffer. - 100%. - That's great. - I'm upstairs with the baby. Like, this is great. He's freaking in my face. I'm like, "I don't care." But point is, she's having the party. Bummer. Then the day before she goes, "You know, I got so much going on. "I work." Is that the baby? "I'm canceling the party." - Ah. - Ooh. What are you crazy? You cancel the party? She's like, "I'm gonna cancel it. "It's a whole thing." - Yeah, anyway, I'm so bummed. - Yeah, I gotta do what you gotta do. You gotta meet time. You gotta have some hang time for yourself. - I like that. - Do that. What do they call it when you're working on yourself? - Rejuvenate. Rejuvenate. - But here's the problem. She's gonna have another party. There's gonna be a makeup party. - Yeah. - She's gonna, you didn't get off the hook. You dodged the temporary. - She's got all the power. - I know what. - You're never really on. If you have that arrangement that's set up, you're never on the hook. Be grateful for that. - All right. - Are you doing shit? - Are you guys on the hook? - Yeah, I'm there. I mean, you're really, but you don't, I mean, you don't do anything. - No, but. - I would not be able to get away with that at all. - Oh, really? - Not even close. - Oh, wow. - You're not gonna be meeting me. - Not even close. - Well, it's one of the perks that you're a jovial, funny guy. - So, what do you mean? - I want my brains out in those situations. - I know, but they don't know that. The her friends thing. Oh, Foley's coming. He's a comedian. He's a funny guy. He's a podcaster. He's quick. He's a pretty, so that makes it worse. - But you get drained by it. - Yeah. - I feel the same way. - I'm drained. - Didn't I hide in the room one time? - Yeah, no. It's like his girl and her friend were stopping by. They were changing. Something happens. She was stopping by with a friend for like a half hour or whatever. 20 minutes. - That's enough. - To do something and be like, "Hey, I'm just gonna, we're gonna pop in. I'm gonna get changed." And then we're gonna go to dinner. And he went in fact and like, he was sleeping in the bedroom. Meanwhile, I wasn't like noon. - But I wasn't asleep. - Yeah. - I don't mind it that much. - I was like, it is draining. It is for, I mean, anybody with our kind of, you know, social habits, it is draining. - They don't understand. Like, she'll catch me, look at my phone. And she's like, "Why aren't you out there?" I'm like, 'cause I'd rather do this. - Yeah. - You think if I wanted to be out there, I wouldn't be out there. So if I wanted to be there, I'd be there. - I was starving. - I remember that to her. I'd never go, "Why are you having fun? Why are you having a party?" You know, I never hit her with that, but you get it all the time. So you do take a little heat for this. - She's abroad at the end of the day. - She might find out. - Okay, that's wrong. She's not happy. - No, I respect you for holding your line. - Yeah. - Well, I'd crumble and go out there and be like, "Hey, you guys doing it?" - Mark is an introvert. I feel that way too. I can socialize, but then I need to recharge. It doesn't give me energy to be out socializing. - No. - Just 'cause I enjoy it, doesn't mean it doesn't drain me. - It's what alcohol is for, really. - Yeah. - And it fuels you. - I can stay a little longer, I got a buzz. - Have a coffee too, coffee help. I mean, a nighttime coffee is so underrated. - Yeah, that's cool. - Grab me a fucking, that's a pee. Coffee shops, thank God for New York, but you're on the road sometimes. These places are closed at like 130. - Yeah. - I like a nighttime or at least an afternoon coffee. - Oh yeah, I like that. I just said it today. He gets me one of the coffee this morning. I was like, "You know what? "I keep having coffee in the morning. "I get anxiety, I don't want to deal with it." And after we came out of something, we were doing something, came out of that. Now it's time for a coffee. - Yeah, and we stayed in a lot of hotels in that, they had that Starbucks in the lobby, and that shit will shut down at like 11. - Yeah, I know. - I feel like it's never open. - Yeah, I'm like 10.30. - If there's a tease, going to those bad hotels where they have that stuff and finding out that the person checking you in is also running back there to do that. - Yeah, I've just had that. - I kind of want to put you through that. - It's like nothing else. - There's two big casts in there, in the just the coffee, the demon in there, with the creamers piled up, let me do it. - Oh, I love that dude. - Love it. - Yeah, oh, makes me happy. - Little splash, little something. I'll have a cup, whatever. - I'll do it, I'll do a toast to the first sip every morning, fuck. - Great. - Yeah, that first sip. I'm like, I feel, even that placebo effect, I know the caffeine hasn't technically hit me yet, but I know it's coming, and I feel fucking alive. I feel ajuvenated. - I'll throw one French vanilla in. - Ooh, fancy pants. - Come with here? - Yeah, but yeah, it's crazy. - When you go to 7-Eleven, they have all the flavors. - Oh, I know, I don't, that's high fruit. - Those porn, they're in the pump. - The pump. - It's an ass, but every once in a while, do it. - If it's Christmas morning, fuck it. - Yeah, sweet. - And Wawa's really classic, 'cause Wawa has the actual cartons, like the little quarter, quarter-- - Oh, yeah. - Like, did they sell kind of? They take it from the-- - Yeah, real nice. - Wawa, Wawa? - That's a lot of town, but it's not-- - You hit a Wawa or a sheet on the road, I'm always fucking happy. - Never disappointed with a Wawa or a sheet. We're a big star, I mean, now that you have Uber Eats, it's like wherever you are, there's enough Starbucks too, but it's like, when we travel, like our whole team, everybody knows everybody's order, so it's like, I'm getting in an order, what do you want? And it'll meet in the lobby, or it'll meet at the venue, or whatever the fuck it is. - Wawa's cold brew, holds right up to Starbucks too. - I think it's better. - Quality. - I think Starbucks says that Burt, bitter as shit, I don't love it. - A little bit. - I kind of need it a little bit, yeah, I'm a Starbucks. - You like to burn her? - I used to hate it, and it's like kind of grown on me, 'cause it's just, it's at least, when you're gone, like at least I know what I'm doing. - It's consistent, it's very consistent. There should be, but dude, you go to some in like a small town, or whatever, and you're like, let me get back there, and fix this up. I've been to enough that I know. - I can't make an egg bite. - I know how it runs. - I don't hate those egg bites. - I hate them. - Great. - I love all of them. - Yeah, Sam, and I like, dude, yeah, I'm, look, I'm gonna choose the mom and pop spot for anything, like diner, coffee, whatever, you just want it, but every once in a while, you're like, all right. - I crushed that egg bites, we love 'em. - Yeah, we're big egg bites today, no carbs. You know what's crazy? - I hate them, but. - Oh, okay. - It's crazy about coffee is, I, if I don't get coffee, I get the headaches, you ever get that? - Yeah, kiddin'. - I get the coffee headache, which is-- - Are you up in the morning making up a coffee at the house? - I may, I have at least one a day. - Okay. - At least. - Do you make it at home? - I do, I do the curing. - It's great. - You gotta get out the curing, man. We'll get you a good coffee maker. - I'll lazy you. - Yeah, but it's nice and easy. - It's just the speed. I don't want to keep clinking, twist, and steaming. - Boil water, and press, and wait, and let it fucking cultivate for six hours. - Oh, so I get the headaches. - Headaches. - Now, here's what's crazy about the mental, the human brain. I can, you know, the headache is withdrawals. You have the coffee, no more headache. If you sniff and smell the coffee, it goes away. 'Cause your brain knows you're about to have it. - Yeah, it's kind of like when you see a toilet and you gotta shit, you gotta shit more. - Yeah. - You know what, you have to shit. You're like, all right, I got a hole with this thing. I can make it. And then you see the toilet and you're like, "Bah!" (laughing) - That's the same with the coffee. - Do that. There's no more dicey situation than when your pants are coming down and you're going down on it. - Woo, woo! - You know what I'll tell you what else is. - Talk about critical moment zero. - If you want to fly and someone smells like complete shit, you have a little fucking couple coffee grounds. You sniff it, you're good. - Oh, there you go. - Oh, that's good. - Strong smell. - They tape a coffee thing up in the bathroom sometimes on planes. I don't never know what that was, so that must be-- - Oh, maybe that's what it was. - You put the coffee bag in there to kill the smell? - Tape a coffee bag right on the wall. - Really? - Yeah. - I didn't know that. - Damn. - Pull this up if you can there, Fatty. Couple of Java. Nigerian, on an air france. They walk down, sprayin' for breeze. And a lot of people are upset about it. 'Cause the B.O. was so out of control that they had to spray-- - There it is, it went viral. First one, air france. - There's a couple people, yeah. The couple looks like there's a couple videos. - They literally walk up and down, crop dusting with perfume. - Anybody that doesn't know that, that you smell or gets offended by that is insane. - That's what I said. - Bad people, when you're around in an enclosed space with someone who's got really bad B.O., it's tough, wild. - I think it's a racial thing, so it got weird, 'cause they're all Nigerian. - It's part of the world, too. - I think it should just be a thing where, if that's the case, it's like if you have a booger, hit sorry. - But it's tough to say to someone. It's tough to be like-- - Well, if you put it in a booger, booger's a quick fix.
- This is a light stuff. - Yeah, this is you don't smell good. There was a guy on my tour with a guy. - This is your whole family, say it. - There was a guy on my tour who didn't smell great. And I had to just be like, I don't wanna say, it was a crew of us. So I don't wanna pull 'em aside. So I had to be on the bus like, everyone, you have to start wearing Diodu and in the shower. And everyone like nodded and like can't say who it is. - Oh, that's a good way to end it. - I don't wanna pull 'em aside, I thought that was mean. - That's good. - I think but like, I mean pull 'em aside is great. - Well, probably that's a better move 'cause it didn't work. - Really? - Didn't take. - Both went up and down with the spray. - These are French people doing this? - Yeah, we've got a lot of fucking dirt. - That's ironic, right? - A lot of bulls. - A lot of bulls, but yeah, I thought that was interesting. And I've been on an African flight and it stinks. (laughing) I'll tell you right now. But yeah, it didn't work. - That is crazy, no, it didn't work. - That's crazy, I mean like also. - It worked for like a day and then they were like, yeah, fuck it. - In a comedy setting, you should be able to like, everybody, you know, we all call really, it's like balls and strife, hey buddy, you got a f-- - Well, it's a hard thing to-- - You don't want to do it in a group because it's kind of like, oh, that's kind of me. And then if you pull someone aside, it's weird to be like seriously like, hey. - I think the group gives you the ball for your breaking balls. - That's why. - Oh, dude, you got it. Hey, go, hey, get out from this. - No, hit the speed stick or something. - Somebody's got a bugger or a bad breath. I lay it on him. Hey, by the way, you know, take a thick gum. - Really? - Not you. - No, no. - I remember we did it roast once and every joke about this comic was about how his breath stunk and he was like at the end, he was like, why didn't anyone tell me? - Yeah. - Shoot me straight. - Like, ah, shit, we should've-- - Well, shoot me straight. - This is seller comic who has bad breath every single time I talk to him. And it's like, one of those piercing where you're like, "God, Dale, like this is beyond-- - Like a bad tooth. - Yeah, it's beyond a-- - Beyond the salad, it's like, yeah, this is crazy. - Yeah. - Inner dip. - Bacteria. - Oh, this is-- - I'll tell you later, but I always want to say something, but I'm like, if it's ongoing, it feels worse because it probably is some real problem. Sure, not just like-- - But there's no way you can't cover that up. Like, hey, man, is there no way, isn't it, Dennis? - I don't know. - But some people might just have bad breath. I don't know. - It's like a rat in the walls. You got to get in there, you know what I mean? - Hey, but he got a rat in the wall. (all laughing) - That's great. - Hey, that could work. - Yeah. - The wall, it's funny. Yeah, so the guy still stinks. - Yeah, it's not great. Good guy though. - Yeah, that's wild. - That's all right. - Good guy friend of yours? - Yeah, he's a friend, yeah. - Tell him. - I will. - Yeah. - You've convinced me. - Let's have a watch this. - Cut it, I tell him, I just hear a gunshot in the other end of the phone. I'm like, oh, fuck. - Well, phone call would be weird. Somebody calls you and doesn't you think? - Hey, man. - From fucking 30 blocks away, you really stink. - We got to talk. - That's funny. - That's funny. - Yeah. - Like sketch, intervention for like stupid shit. - Sure. - Like HBO. - You smell bad? - Yeah. - Yeah. - What were you gonna say? - I've told this story before, but you know the comic James Smith? - I love James. - Yeah. - I love James. - He is James. - A ball-busted, mean son of a bitch. He was very, very blunt. - But he was one of those negative guys that wasn't draining. He was fun. - Yeah, I don't know him. - Underrated comic. Killer comic. - He's in Sydney, Australia. Now we had good hangs with him, man. Good jokes. - Killer comic. Really funny. But I got, we had a couple drinks of the seller. We got in a cab to go to a house party. And the cabbie, of course, cliche smelled like shit. Smell like B.O. Crazy B.O. He was like coming through the glass, B.B.O. And I go, oh man, it's guy stinks. It was like, you know, head out the window stink. And he goes, hey mate, you smell like shit. What the fuck's wrong with you? Take a shower, mate. You're working now. You're in a car all night. You smell like shit. You're gonna hurt your customers. You're getting no tips or whatever. He's just being funny. And the guy was like, fuck you. (laughing) So I'm like so uncomfortable because this Australian guy's yelling at this crazy African Ugandan guy. And he did not take it well. So you never know. Some people get mad about that shit. - Well, I don't get mad. They don't even think of shower. - I don't think that guy's showered. - You don't think? - I mean. - He ain't showered. - Those guys just fucked up. - It worked crazy shit. - Fuck you. - Feel better after a shower? - Of course. - Wanna take a shower? - Of course. - Are you a morning shower guy? Do you wake up in shower? Do you do it before you go out at night? - I do it at all times. But usually in the morning. - Same. - I mean, I'll go to bed a little ripe. - Same. - I can't. I'd rather show up at night. If I'm like that, unless it's like I'm getting home, unless I need to be quiet at the house for like whatever. Sleep and babysit, but it's like, I'd yeah. - You get a better night's sleep for sure. - Yeah, yeah. - We started doing that on the road. We get back from the barn. I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna fucking jump in the shower. And you wake up, you feel better. It just. - Shut it down. - Yeah, shut it down. - You know what gets me is the winner. You do the code all day. - So then it's just, it's just a hot box and a torso, you know? And then you get home, you're like, God, damn, I shouted it. I still, but it's just, you're cooking your pits for 12 hours. - Cooking the pits. - Light weight jacket. - Casual. - I'm talking it. - Fucking on January here in New York. You need a goose down. - Heavy bike. - Yeah. - So. - The Canadian goose. - Good to have you, James. - Yeah, let him go. I like it. - We love you, James. - I hear a question. - Is this equality? Because I would go, ah, he's an African guy. I'm not going to say it or he's a Muslim guy. - What does that have to do with anything? - I agree, but. - Well, culturally some groups do smell worse. - Who? - I don't know what I'm saying. - You see? - Okay, okay. But what is in the, there's nothing in the text of culture that says, hey, you got to smell bad. - No, this is a good idea. - No, but they just don't wear, they don't wear deodorant, right? - Is that because I just, - And I can't, we're wearing any of the books to say. - I don't, I have no spice. - I don't think, I mean, we don't have a book about American culture, there's no book. It's just like, we all have decided that we wear old spice. Everybody wears deodorant. - It's good to wear. - In India, they don't do that. - There's also hippies who wear the natural deodorant shit. And that, that doesn't work. - That's a good idea. - If you were, if you were in Tom's of Maine's, stay away from me. - Okay. - Yeah, you need some aluminum in there. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Something that works. - You know, it works pretty good. I think it's pretty natural, it was native. - Easy. (laughing) - You gotta get savage deodorant. But there would be the argument that if you went over to, if you were, yeah. - If you were a cab driver in India and you smelled like fucking Vanilla Sky Axe Body Spray, they'd get in and be like, dude, this car stinks. - Good boy. - Like fucking shit. Why don't you go home and take a shower. - This should make it like a deodorant. It's gonna be like a yellow, checkered colored case and it's just say 18 hour shift. - Ooh. - Whoa. - I'd buy that. I'd be like, this is gonna work for 18 hours. - Your fucking business hat on the day. - Ooh, but they won't. They're not buying that. - Well, head on. Don Draper, you're driving a cab for 18 hours. You know what else? - You smell like shit. - You're in there. - You're for other people. Like, when you go with a cab and you just smear it on the glass and now you're smelling good. Like the whole cab smelling good. - You can bring a little travel, uh, Lysol. - That's shit. - The breeze, whatever. - There should be a milder version of this stuff that every cop puts on when they walk into the- - Smelling shit. - The, um, uh, coroner's office. - Yeah. - And we find 'em in a river, they do that. - Genius. - Yeah. - And you'd be a good cop, dude. Do you hear that delivery? - Yeah. - You'd be a good fucking cop. - I could have done that on the road when I was eating ass. - Just a little, just give me that, that gel. - Take care. - A little mineralized. - Beholds, it really. - Yeah. - What was his name? - Why'd you still go in? - There you go. - Oh, fuck. - Oh, that was a shooter. - That was this, that was it. - Oh, that thing was a video. - I'm gonna need some of that stuff now. - I love that we're talking about smelly stuff. We're like, you know what? It hates me smelly stuff, Mark. She's like. - Yeah. - Ooh. - You think the rippers never really smell that bad? Like a ripper. - Oh, mine. - Now those are usually, those are bad. - Your thoughts are more of a comic effect than stench is the pros. - Yeah. - Yeah, when I come out with no sound. - Look at Ron. - I know. - You got that right. (laughing) - I'm just here. When you set a bomb off in an elevator, and you're like, fuck. - Oh yeah. - And then if someone hits another floor, you're like, fuck. - Yeah. - Get me out of here. - The clock is ticking. - Oh yeah. - Upbox. - That's funny. Oh man, we should fucking wrap this. We've been going. - Yeah, geez, we've been going. - Cool beans. - Well, we'll plug some dates, you guys are, I mean, obviously you guys know the Are You Garbage pod. They're the best. - Our tour is starting up. We're going to be in, at the end of September 23rd, we're hitting San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle. - Oh, I know the butt. - Gonna be in the race. - Boston, Atlanta, Riley, North Carolina. A bunch of dates. Phil, we're doing a met and Philadelphia. Get them dickies. - Oh, please. - The boys are coming home. Chickens are coming home to Rousse. Who's having sex? What the hell? - The Rooster of Sex, what everybody. - Yeah. - Sorry about the tour. - Check out the show. - Toronto, man, you guys are everywhere. I love it. - We're trying. - All right, all right. - Tickets are slow. - Let's go! - Let's go! - It's been a hard times. When are we starting this? Yeah, so let's-- - Saudi Arabia. - Jesus Christ. - Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, it's coming. London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Salt Lake City baby five shows back for the second time this year. Reno Nevada and Carnegie Hall. - Woo! - Carnegie Hall. - The Seppre Fourth baby. Can't wait. - Look at that. Carnegie Hall. Don't hate it. - Nothing wrong with that. - Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. Where the hell am I? Hell's stinky, funny bone. Holy hell, it's.com, chuckle-huck, Dublin, Ireland, the Vickers Street Valley Center. We're in Baltimore at McGubby. - There you go. - Known as Timonium, gotta build the new hour. Lincoln Theater in DC, Kodak Center in Rochester and Niagara Falls, San Diego, and prior Lake get the casino, Minneapolis coming in for a cash grab. (laughing) - Oh, that hit in the ATM machine. (laughing) Yeah, pay me in a check and give it to me a week later. I don't gamble. Well, all right, folks, you got the garbage, guys. You know where to find them, get some bodega cat. - bodegacatwisky.com, DM our bodega cat whiskey on Instagram, Matt will get back to you. - Good luck, you guys.
Get out of here! We've got it! Cut it! Don't be! We'll have you guys. We'll have you guys. We'll have you guys. Candles and animals. Alright. ♪ Sunday's the day for my next spender ♪ ♪ A bit of fever, wrecking all the beauties close ♪ ♪ I've had a little too much fervent ♪ ♪ And Norman's talking shit about the fucking post ♪ ♪ And I get down in the same way ♪ ♪ Up on the roof like a cop's comin' ♪ ♪ And they could send you out as feeling dangerous ♪ ♪ I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans ♪ ♪ This woman doesn't look like I remember her ♪ ♪ And I get down in the same way ♪ ♪ We might be true ♪
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