(upbeat music) - It's weird, it's weird, he's fucking with you, but I get what he's saying. - It's, no, I'm not fucking with you. (laughs) - Like I get what he's saying. - I'm not fucking with you. - Scooter time is not. - We all, we all don't know about it. - We don't know. - We know. - We know. - If I hear, I don't, here's the saying, I don't know what Scooter time is, but I would never ask what Scooter time is. I would find out quietly without asking somebody. - But even if you don't know, you know that if Aiden can't know, you kind of know. - It means something. - Yes, it's not a no. - It's not something. - It's, can I, can I not know? - It's the questions, man. - It's the questions. - It's not even the questions. It's the way you say the question. - It's the fact that you're dressed like that, asking questions like those in a place like this, at a time like this, what a day like this. - Are you understanding? - It makes complete, dude, what are you saying? - I just, I just, I just complete said. - I'm being so clear. - I mean, I'm actually, you like clear. You like concise clear robot. - Is it? - I love that. - Is it, is it because I would take the Scooter time away? - No, it's not about that, it's not, it's not. - It's better what you think or do. Do you understand how little you matter? - How do you matter? - I think what you were. - I wouldn't even subject you to talking to him about this, like, because he's just, I don't know this guy. - It's disgusting what he's doing. - The fact that you think you could affect Scooter time, you could, it's like so brazen. - The fact that you, even with the information, could do something as pathetic. - Thinking that you could do that is like unbelievable. - I think I could share it. Scooter time, we could share it together. - Yeah, you know what I think is, the thing is, the thing is we could share it, and I would ask to share it, and then I'd show up to Scooter time and Derek Diesel's there. And then, is it Scooter time anymore? - Is it? - Or is it Derek fucking Diesel time? - Wow. - Derek Diesel. - Derek Diesel? - Wow. - Derek Diesel would be a hoot at Scooter time. - Then it's not, it's not, it's not about what he's, it's about Scooter time, it's about Scooter time. - It's about Scooter time, it's about Scooter time. - There are Diesel's there. - I have a question. Is it Chubby Cattle Monday, if the only other person besides us that Aiden invited was the Crimson Blur? - Yes. - Yes. - But only Aiden's not there. - And let me ask you about it. - And the blur is like Aiden told me to replace him. - Yeah, Aiden just told me to show up, I don't know how to say it. - You, you look me in the eye. It's us for, and the Crimson Blur. Every Monday night for dinner. - Yeah. - That's not a good point. - The blur on the table looks around and goes, "I'm a high protein eater." - We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, - Blur's been the one hour on appetizers. (laughing) - Easily, he's strong on the menu. (laughing) - Going through the check. - Tabulating the tip. (laughing) - There's a right way to do this. - He would, he would max, he would like 26.1% tip the, she would subtract the drinks. - Well, if the drinks were brought out in a, untimely manner. - Well, try to be cattle. - You know drinks are drinks. - Oh, right. - Yeah, so never fucking been there. - Cocks are great, and I ask you a fucking question, okay? Try to be cattle Monday, it comes around. You come to the office, you go, "Slime, Nick, please. Do you want to go to Coby Cattle?" What would it go if you guys both plays? - Please! (laughing) - And the bubble start following at the top. And, and, and we go, you know what? I'm so sorry Aiden, we had so much more lits here to do. We're busy, right? So, but you invited, you invited us and you invited your girlfriend, that's the group, okay? And we're going to Chubby Cattle Monday. - Yeah, my God. - We all say no. We all say no, but girlfriend still wants to go. - Yeah. - And you go with your girlfriend. Is it Coby Cattle Monday? - Yeah. - It's Chubby Cattle Monday, if you go to lunch with your girlfriend. - It's, it's Chubby Cattle Monday, if I go to Chubby Cattle on a Monday with her. Does that make sense? - You said Chubby Cattle is anywhere. - But the spirit of Chubby Cattle Monday is that, but you go out to get a meal with your friends. - I think, I think Chubby Cattle Monday's been canceled. Was it Chubby Cattle Monday when you went by yourself? - It's, let's say, was it when you went by yourself? - 'Cause I think Chubby Cattle Monday's just when he eats a Monday. - Let's say no, no, no, no, no. - It's starting to sound like that. - It was literally Chubby Cattle Monday. - Yeah. - And it would, with, with, it would literally be, but figuratively, it's Chubby Cattle Monday when we go out and get dinner together. - So our last Chubby Cattle Monday's when we kidnapped slime from his house. - Yeah, that was, that was kind of Chubby Cattle Monday. - Figured it would be. - Yeah, I, I'll give you that. - And that figurative one is the one where we're more interested in 'cause the other one is just simply math and bolts and numbers. - Yeah, math and bolt. - Math and bolt. - And I'll show you the figurative version. - You take your beautiful Floyd to Chubby Cattle Monday. - He's back on Floyd. - What? - You take your-- - I mean, back on Floyd. - The Chubby Cattle Monday. - You take your awesome Floyd. - He's fucking beautiful. - She got me the-- - Most of the time. - Yeah, she got me a lazy conversation. - New York strips out. (laughing) - Go out. (laughing) - Have you, have you tried to ask your Floyd in the Northern Lion question? Have you called her and asked her a question? - Have I asked my Floyd the Northern Lion question? (laughing) - It's a crazy thing. - If you call her and ask her what she wants to eat for dinner tonight, will she say sushi? - What is a chance? - There's a chance. - What is this? - This is the Northern Lion. - Yeah, I love sushi. - And you call your girl and you ask her what she wants for dinner tonight. She's gonna say sushi. - I don't think she's ever called it in the pod. - No. - This is fun. - This is a world first. - You guys are good to talk to zipper three. She's very fun. - Oh, she's very fun. When we text, when we gossip about Aiden, then we do it all the time. - I love gossiping about Aiden. - Let's talk about it. - But it ensures that she's a little busy. - Usually answers. - That's it. - Well, usually it sounds awesome. - The call has been formed. - Dude, it looks like she's eating with another fucking man. - Yeah, she's already had sushi. (laughing) - I don't believe in you, gosh. - I don't even know what to tell you. - It's all raw fish. - What? - Hey, man. - What do you mean by that? - Well, you so much. Call me back when you can. - Hi. - She's like, she's like, you're like, shot on the street. - That sounds like a last time. - Text her and say he's shot on the street. - Yeah, something happened to Aiden. - He's shot on the street. - Do you text her? I follow up and say, "There's so much blood." And then turn your phone off. - Call your, call your, call your foid. - Call my foid? - Call your foid. - She okay. - Can I make a hard read of what's false? - Yeah. - Wait, no, she can't. She's a work, I can't. - Oh, right. - But, by the hard read, she would first say, "I don't know," 'cause it chates the siding. And then second, she would say, "I can cook." And I'd be like, "That sounds lovely." - Yeah. - But she wouldn't suggest going out. - Right. - Well, I think I said this all the above before. I was talking to Nick's girlfriend. And I like picked her up from somewhere and we were gonna go somewhere to meet everyone. And we're talking in the car. And it's like, one of the rare times me and her have just talked. And she, we're talking about like life and stuff. And she's like, "Oh yeah, I cooked dinner last night." I was like, "Oh, you cooked dinner." 'Cause I like, never do that. There were a couple of years ago. And she's like, "Yeah, I think I've cooked dinner for most of my meals, for most of my life." And I was like, "What?" I like almost stopped the car. - Yeah. - I was like, "What?" Who does that? - Yeah. - Now she's kind of worried that she did something wrong. (laughing) - Yeah, I don't know. - It's not totally normal to do that. - And she was like, "What? What's wrong with that?" And I'm like, "Nobody does that." She's like, "They don't." (laughing) - I think most people do. - There's so many do I've learned. - For some fuck says you're out of touch. You were always like this. - I truly was, always like this. - You were always like this. - In the $200 room. - Because I didn't cook it. I didn't prepare anything. I would get the beans from the can and you open the can and eat it out of the book. The can is a bowl. - Which just isn't cooking. It's not cooking. I eat whatever came. - If you allowed me to ask the question, if we went out dinner tonight, what would you want? I might get sushi out of her. - Okay. - I get texture. - There's a universe. - There's a universe where I get sushi in that. But if I say, "What do you want to eat?" It's gonna be a cooking night. - What is NL? Why did this come up? - Women love sushi. - That's the- - That's just the theory. - Foylo sushi. (laughing) - That's what I had to say. - That's a good impression. - There was NL, he was playing CSU. He was 3,000 rated at the time. (laughing) - And he was 4,000 soup. (laughing) - And then he's like, they don't just love sushi. I'm gonna call my girl right now. I don't know if she's sushi. - And then he bounces a Nade off of wallety. - It lands in the visor of his C2. - And he goes, "Oh." - I love when he does anything in that game, and he goes, (laughing) like he's dodging the bullets. He's like kind of the only player I know that does that. - I did that the other night. - Ludwig was in pit on inferno. He has one HP. He's throwing a grenade up. He's like lobbing it. - And I'm watching him and I'm like (laughing) - Doesn't kill me. - And it didn't. You actually threaded the needle. - It's so cute. I watch you come in the chat. You've been gaming offline. - Yep. - You pop into Slime's chat, 'cause I was watching already. - And you just say, "Papa, papa, I want to game." - Yeah, I was depressed. I want to game papa. - I had a shit game and he comes and he lifts my spirits. And then he goes dark, because he has talked to his girlfriend, which is totally fine. - Yes, I was cute he comes in and I, and you know, it's a game. So I take off the headset, and she goes, "Are you free?" I go, "It's a game." - He's just a game to me. - I'm talking to him. We're playing the game. I'm like, "Me and Ludwig Shack and Cove work here, bro." I broke his shit. I go, "Leadwig by me MP9." "Leadwig by me MP9." He starts just looking away. (laughing) "Leadwig by me MP9." He leaves the spawn. (laughing) I'm like, "Hold on, I'm like, baby, it's just a game." Two of 'em, boy. I don't care about this. - Now I'm holding door with a clock or the USP hoping that this isn't my time. - Yeah. - And then did you, did you continue watching that stream by chance? - Uh oh. I actually left when you two started playing together. - Really? (laughing) - Really? - You don't know. - Do you know what happened? - Yeah, I started hate watching the boys, so I have no idea what happened. Do you really know what, don't know what happened? - No. - Well what happened, volume, volume, volume, please. - Oh, I thought we were pulling on my clutch. - No. (laughing) - Oh, okay. - I get good at this one.
(mimicking the music) (mimicking the music) (screams) - What can you do? What do you think he's doing there? (laughs) - Dude, I watched his face, Anamorph, in real time. (laughs) - Oh my god. - And this is the music playing on the stream. - Yeah, and you just got read for Tim Staren at this guy. (laughs) - I want to know. - Yeah, this was my first solo swatting. - I wanted to congratulate you, by the way. I'm being as famous as Ludwig now. - Please, zipper. Can you play what happens after a. - No, prepared. - Come on, give me that shit. - It just instantly opens a case. (laughs) - Try to spin up some good shit. - Dude. - And then I fucking, I'm feeling bad for my boy, so I'm like, I'll crack one of my boss in cologne for you. (gasps) And it's just the whitest. - Stinky crack, the stinkiest. - No. - It was really terrible. - It was a horrible blow. - And that's a 1,500 dollar blow. - It was like a point four wear. - When you crack up in the Uber East bag, and it's only the shit everyone else ordered. - Yeah. - Really, where's mine? - And, well, with that one, it's more like beetles. It was like a P90 that is like, it's a color tier that doesn't exist anymore. (laughs) - I need the routine. - I need the routine. - Below blue. But yeah, it was very sweet, actually. I would feel, he was like, let me cheer you up. You know, let me crack one of these things. - Let me crack one of these things. - And then I was like, let's play another. 'Cause he was gonna play another. I was like, I'll play with you. - Horrible game. - Dude, it was fucked up because he'd be spectating me. And he, but he didn't know he was spectating me. - Oh my God. - So all like, I was like pop flashing out to like do something. And I died to an op like from fucking library. And he's like, this worst flash I ever seen in my life. - He's like, fuck, this is kind of dude. - No, he literally said it. He said, there's a worst flash I ever seen in my life. And I was like, thanks bro. - Oh my God, I didn't know he's spectating me. - Dude. - And I was like, oh, okay. - Dude. - Can you do it? - 'Cause I usually chat shit to slime about, like, I'm one of the fucks on our team. I just did it in that moment realized, 'cause I was like, just died and swapped POVs that it was slime. - Yeah, it was great. - Sounds like a great even. - It wasn't that bad of a flash. - It was, that was what I was just about. - It was just 'cause it flashed your team but it didn't flash the Moto guy 'cause it went behind the fuck. - You did it flash library. It doesn't matter. - I'm not saying it's an easy flash. I'm just saying, that's what happened. - Doesn't matter. - The day that I explained this time around what the threat the call was. - It was really interesting. So it was over the many times I've been swatted, but my first solo experience is solo J-O-I. - Yeah, I venture. - Go now, Officer, here's my wallet. Here it is. - I ain't talking about being swatted. It's your first time on a sex cruise. - So we put the pineapple outside of the door. And we got a knock. So basically, it was ultimately a very mild one. So I'm playing and I just hear, like an insane slam on my door. Like a human-made slam. And I'm like, and my place is pretty small. So I'm like, oh shit, what the fuck is that? And I thought it was like a crazy man trying to kill me. That's my first initial thought. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's just big slams at the door. And you could play this zipper. - So this is just for audio for you guys. But there's like seven cops. And yep, one kick. - Oh, he fails it. - Oh, okay. - I'm gonna add one more, one more. Boom. - And then? - Oh, it's unlocked. - Oh, no way. - Fuck it. - Didn't it break in? - It's so funny. - Just try the door. - If it's so stupid. - If it's locked, are they allowed to just break your shit in? - Of course. Yeah, they broke the ceiling of your house. - That was after they went in. Remember what happened the last, the last swatting? - Yeah. - Was when just me and you were home. - Right. - And they were inside. - We also just had the door unlocked. - Yeah. - They weren't gonna break it open. - It's just so weird. - They bring like a little bad words. - The words can convince them to just break it up. - Why do they never check? - They could have just checked. - Why don't they ever check? - It's really interesting. I mean, to be fair, okay, so it happens, right? And I like the third giant slam that you guys saw. I'm already out there. And I'm kind of tensed up. I'm like, might I have to fight a guy? I'm gonna get killed right now. What can you do? Let's make this happen. And instantly a bunch of cops spill into my house. And I'm right there in the living room. I'm in my one piece basketball shorts. And I'm just standing there in a McDonald's T-shirt. And they're immediately like put your fucking hands up. - But he has his gun probably. - Yeah. - And simple protocol. They turn around. But they were very efficient. And they clear the house. I think they instantly realized like this is us wanting. And so they bring me outside. And they're like, yeah, he's a fucking, he's a live streamer. And then they were actually kind of night. One of them apologized. It was crazy. I never apologized. It makes me so fucking mad. - It was a culture shock. - Because neck of the wood. - Yeah. - Our old neck of the wood is all 50 year old plus rich ass Asian dudes. - Yeah. - They never heard of a live streamer. - Yeah. - Yeah. And I guess they see a bunch of young people hanging out in the house or like they're must be cooking, cracking, killing people. - And nowadays like those cops are probably all fans of los. So they get it. - I'm stressed. - Couple of my guys probably did watch some fucking dope ass live streams. - They were watching Loas or watching Burnt Peanut. - I know the problem isn't where we were though. It's just like how stupid the cops are. I remember distinctly when that one time we got spotted where when we were coming out there like they have like, you know, snipers on us or whatever. And they're like, come on, come out, come out. And they're like, yeah, so what's the last guy's name in there? I'm like, oh, it's Anthony. And they're like, oh, it's really close to our call. And they were so much rougher with you. Like the way a child would process like what's going on. - Yeah, the man in there is named Anthony. So that's the more than Andrew, which is what we got called to you. And they're like, you know the fucking ground. - Don't do it, Nate. So the only thing that you were in there killing people and we're all in there totally fine. - And not complicit might as well be gentle with us. And when you come out, it's like, oh, the fucking ground, gun back to your head, fucking riot shield. - Dude, I came out and they start explaining, they're like, so yeah, we got a call. And it said that you killed your wife and you had your son in the room, you're going to kill your son. And I was like, I don't have a son. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So a couple more blues in that case, I'm either officer. (laughing) - And then one of the guys, it was so funny. They were like, he was, oh my god, by the way, M4A1 unsilenced. That's what Bro was rocking. - Really? - Yeah. - I was like, I cracked that yesterday. - Well, I was like, if you shoot me, I don't have a helmet right now, so I do die. - Obviously, what's the float on that? - And so, and one guy was like, he's like, we actually take this really seriously. We get in a contact, we're going to try to track the person down who did this. And I'm like, okay, I'm like, I don't know. - M4A1 is like a fun one for you. You guys don't know, this is impossible. - Defined. - Man, man, man, man. - Good luck getting the British kid that made the phone call. - Yeah. - They actually found the one that did us last time. - Yeah, they did. - Oh, they found 'em. - They found 'em. - They have $1,000? - Yeah. - Yeah, they have an award, they have an award to prize. - So yeah, and then, but I can, I think now, I can be like, hey, this happened to me and then I can maybe stop it from happening again. I wonder if it happened 'cause I was in the top of the CS category, which is unfortunate. I think I'll just hide out and just chatting or something from now on. But I'll say this, bro, after they left, my stream's still running, obviously. I'm like, oh shit. And you kind of have this decision, like, what do I do? Do I just like, stop stream? Do I fucking this and that? And I was like, I just sat right there. I fucking love live streaming, bro. I love this shit. All I wanted to do was just sit the fuck back down. That is the only feeling I had in my head. - Did you change so much? - Wow. - Well, I've always loved live streamers. I just hate the people in the chat. - But I do not always love live streamers. - Why would I do it? - I mean, like, I'm like, same, like years ago. You're gonna live stream? No, when I do it, I don't need to do it all the time. But when I do it, bro, I was like, this is, eh. I love this shit. - It's when I've always said he has like a studio audience that we can't see that he's performing for. It's when they materialize. They all become real people for a moment. - They also not real people. - Yeah, it's a nice school, a corporeal realm they inhabit and they post green. I wonder if you'll just get, like, you have a better local police department in that, not that they check the door first, but that maybe when they get the second call, they won't just barge it. - Yeah, that's my job to fucking figure that out and see if they do that, but whatever. - That was the real genius of the other neighborhood was fourth call. They're still coming in. - Fourth call, they're locked and loaded. - They didn't have, like, on the fourth call, they didn't have the helicopter anymore, I guess. - I think if they got it, I think if they got it, yeah. I think if they got back to the station right after they swatted us and they got another call, they'd be like, what, really? - They were just there. - Let's go! - Let's go! - We're back up! - We didn't weigh more back up. - Dude, I think that's the worst thing from the other ones, 'cause the first couple of times had the helicopter circling. - And my beats per minute still skyrocketed if I had a helicopter. - Yeah, I never left one. - That never left me either. If I was a helicopter overhead, I go, even if I'm alive, I'm like, I might be being swatted. - Yeah, I get really nervous when I hear a helicopter for more than like a minute at a time. - Yeah, I just went back in. Blood was ice cold, bro. - Dude, you never hate you, bro. Why do you not crack gold there? - I know! - Oh!
- It would've been crazy! - There was someone out there who was cursing you, following you around. - Imagine that shit. - Oh, it was right there. - You cracked a goal the other day. - But I mean, I would've been great. - I said it would've been great. - Well, you lost gold loading. - My shitty ugly ass rusted bowie knife. - The one you use? - Yeah, I like that. - I use what I get. - Use what you get. - I use every part of the bone. - Yeah. - Every part of the buffalo piece. - It cost me a thousand for that $80 knife. - Yeah, mine cost me a lot too. - And that's good EV. That's a good return on investment. - Anyway, what would you guys do? I guess I was fucking flying off the ship. - I called it a SWAT. (laughing) - 'Cause this cop's right in my game. - Do you guys go, bro, or do you see us? But that's where they, I genuinely think it's just like, you know, an international audience that's like, "Ooh, a juicy one." - Right in 'em, let me ask you this all week, don't worry about you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you worry about it. - What's your relationship with, like, God? - High protein right now. And we'll ask about God directly after. - Sorry. - That's a follow-up. - What's your relationship with high protein right now? - High protein? - Yeah, what are you getting? What are you eating? - I mean, I'm probably eating like one gram of protein a day. - Really? - One gram. - And one gram of protein a day. - They say you should eat your weight. - Yeah, he's been eating boy's slop. There's no grocery store near me. I'm not gonna cook. And also, my cards don't work, so I don't buy. - What if I told you there was a way to just have a ready-to-drink supply of your high protein? - See that shit? - Look at his try. - That's awesome. - Genetics? - There's literally a feast. - Genetics? - You can't see. - There's a feast. - I'm a professor, cool, my fucking arm, bro. - And that's right, at the Hew old difference. Hew old is a ready-to-drink drink. That has 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, eight, and guess what? No artificial sweeteners, colors or flavors, which I know historically you love, but we're trying to change it 'cause the red 40's starting to seep through your eyes. - It's a complete meal you can grab on the go, and that's a busy guy like me. - You're a busy guy? - A busy, busy business guy that's probably why you're eating a grand pro. - You're also a busy guy, bro. - 35 times the amount of protein that I get a day in one cup. - You gotta be clear, it should also be more than that. But let's get you started. - Proc is supposed to be hard because it's hard to get it all in cooked food. This makes that easy. For you, you just eat only one gram. I'm not really sure. - This is what one gram does. - There's just no protein involved in that equation. - What a ghastly? - Little gutter. - You're ghastly. - What a middle gutter. - You have the middle gutter. - It's so wide. - Why is it so wide? - 'Cause it's one gram. - Well, for a limited time, get Hule today with an exclusive offer of 15% off online with code
[email protected]/yard15. That's new customers only and thank you to Hule for partnering and supporting our show. - We'll get you right, bro, because technically from what you've told us, you should be dead. - I'm hungry all the time. - Yeah, I know. - We'll get you right. - You won't get you right. - Let's go back to the episode. - I still wouldn't be hungry anymore. - Big. - Do you know what I did actually? I forgot about the story right now. I went to the piss line, mom. - What, bro? - I went to a fucking puppet show. (laughing) - Oh. - It's real shit. - Well, because he says that first, I'll give you some space to describe a little bit more about the puppet show. - The sort of strategy I was at. - Did you go to a puppet show? - Yeah, in Island Park, there's a-- - Oh my God. - There's the, though it's like a famous play about the Bob Bakers marrying out, you've always seen it. - When is it next in the homestay? - Across from Comquat. (laughing) - Happens to be there. - Kind of near the homestay. - Happens at home. - Near the homestay. - No, yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - The Jersey Interstack at some point. - No, my girlfriend's cousin was in town. They really went, apparently it's like world famous. They wanted to go. And I was like, I don't know. - But every time world famous. - It is. - It's world famous puppet show. - I call up my boy Lee, and he says, oh yeah. - Island Park. - Oh, the puppet show. - Okay, I'm right here, but you're probably, okay, maybe it's not like world famous like Kobe. - No, I'm gonna say, when we talk about world famous, we think about Drake. - They were at like Coachella. - Close. - Yeah, in California so. - Okay, I think it was a big place. - Would they go to South by? - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know. - The time you were playing for the Olympics? - Okay, it's not world famous. This is easier. - That's not world famous. - It sounds, it sounds regional famous. (laughing) - It's like a, it's like an LA landmark. - It's like a regional- - They raised like five million dollars to stay in LA. - Okay, he paid it. - Dr. Lupa numbers. - Yeah. - Well, he's world famous. - That's a bad example for me. - Yeah, he is world famous. - Anyway, I went to it and it was lit. - I think this is gonna suck ass. I don't wanna do this today. It was so awesome. - The puppet show. - It was, it was crazy. - It was crazy. - Hey, hey, okay. - It was crazy. - Yeah, so I was gonna have to say it. - Yeah, the fucking stuff. - It's like, he's the most expensive posture. - He's ever, there's body languages. - I want to watch! (laughing) - It's 'cause sometimes you think that was it for two. And he always just does the most normy shit ever. And then he comes back and he's like, the normy shit was kinda lit. - Yeah! - That's normal and adjusted to do. - Like, this is gonna be normy shit and then enjoy yourself anyway. - I think, I think it's tough for me because I think it goes and he's like, I don't even know what normy shit is, I can't see it. Would you guys wanna have coffee? - No, no, it's more, I feel beaten like a dog. - So when you come in your vulnerable for a moment, I want to be violent. - Yeah, it's a cycle of abuse. - What would you have to do? Would you play some fucking Mario Party with them? - Dinner. - Some fucking free-pro. - Dinner, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Dinner actually was floated as an idea though. I'm not kidding. - Then we got dinner. Do you guys see my fucking steak? I think we have the best looking steak of all time. - It's great. - It kills. - Dude, I did some normy shit too. I went to a, you know, Sammy breakfast. He had like, I thought it was his birthday. He invited me a month ago. He's like, it's my 100 Facebook follower celebration. I'm like, okay, an ironic gathering that is co-cover for your birthday. And it's when I get there. And I go 'cause I like Sammy a lot, even though socializing wears me out, but I go, and I get there, and he's like, it's not my birthday. And I'm like, that's crazy. - Bring a gift. - He's just, no, I didn't bring a gift. But it was just to read, he's like, I'm trying to challenge myself to, you know, get people together and stuff. Anyway, I get shit from you guys all the time. We should could have seen it. 'Cause I said today, I'm going to be electric man, and I was fucking a life. - It was a life. - I was a life. - You're gonna continue getting shit from us guys. - I was a life. - You were all, we're trying to get you to hang out for so long. And then a guy who has breakfast in his name, is able to summon you, it makes you for worse. - You think that we think you can't be electric. We know you can't be, we invite you out to have that, but when we invite you out, you're demon. - I, what demon? - Like what? Yeah, because when you invite me out, that's always some fucking kuck live streamer that's fucking broken inside. Then he's a normal guy. He plays poker for a living. His name is Sammy Breakfast. - No, that's normal, and we all believe that he's real. - Yeah, but we know you hung out with him. - I think it says something about my life that you said, you said breakfast, and I was like, which breakfast? Like, like I know three people named breakfast. - Oh, that's right, yeah. - Where I have to be like, which one was it? - Well, that is funny. Imagine we show up at breakfast at the house. - Yeah. - But yeah, I go, and I was like, and I instantly, there was this lovely, as you would call them. There's a lovely gentleman. - Lovely. - So you have no baggage with that word? - You don't? - Well, you used it last time to describe two lovely men at the Patreon event. - They were lovely. - Because not because-- - Oh, there's gay people, I didn't even clock here. I didn't even clock here. - You can be gay and not lovely. - Name one person. - Name one un-lovely gay. - James Charles. - Uh, Miley andopolis. - I'm sure he's lovely in some setting. - Ben Shapiro. (laughing) - Uh, cause it, cause it. - So I walked by and we were saying, and it's this big outside bar. And there's this young gay gentleman getting a hug. And someone's like, oh my God, happy birthday. And it's his birthday. And so I find Sammy, I like, hey, nice to see you, bro. There's a birthday going on here. We should talk. We should, I don't want to encroaching on the event. And I'm saying this as a bit. Sammy's like, yeah, let's go talk to him. I'm like, okay. Cause I'm in electricity mode. So I'm like, come on. And I go up to this guy and there's like seven people. - Oh wow. - And I'm like, hey, what's your name? His name's like Jeremy. He's like, hey, nice to meet you. We're also having a thing. And I ran this bit that we were like, let's not make the van diagram. Like, let's not overtake each other in vibes and shit. And I tribute to how lovely this man was. He's instant like, oh my God, I'm a triplet. I can stack events. No problem. It's gonna be fine. (laughing) - So you would cost it a game, man? - I didn't cost it. I did business. I negotiated with a game, man. (laughing) And then so we go back and Sammy's like, bro, why did we do that? I was terrified. (laughing) And I'm like, you're not about it, bro. - I'm not about it either, by the way. We're including night-formation. - But I still, I start, you know, as the night goes on, more people show up on our side and more people show up on Jeremy's side for his birthday. Jeremy is a wonderfully popular person, apparently. And I'm like, oh, if it came down to what we could take, we could fight all these guys. And Sammy's like, yeah, we could probably fight all these guys. End of the night, it's like 30 Jacked dudes on the other side. And we got the straight up event mugged. Like, if it came to a bra, we were just not, it's not-- - It's a buffing gay discord meetup. - Yes, it's a buffing gay discord meetup. - I don't know why you thought you would meet him. - Well, at time, we had sheer numbers. But the gay man physique. - Well, numbers goes a long way. - True. - It's numbers. - One gay gorilla versus a hundred. - Straight guys. (laughing) - The hundred straight guys, probably. - Anyway, I did that side of my way. I asked Nick because he was hanging out damn Floyd. - I have my phone. - I took my phone to cheesecake. - What was my phone? - On Saturday. - On Saturday and then. - So I didn't have to do it. It was take your phone to cheesecake. - Don't look at that. - Don't say that. - It was. - Don't say it.
I have to. No, I didn't say that. Well, it was just it's ain't your void to cheesecake Saturday. Where did you guys go? No one downtown. No, actually, she got tired because we hiked and I had a brand Zeno with Diet Coke. He's big on brand Zeno now. You didn't fucking stop fucking. I just go if I'm at a place that I can have to be at for meals. I just get up. You know, it's order. It's the ordering brands, you know, for like fucking one year memory. It's good. It's a huge thing. It's a lot of it. A lot of it's a lot of it's a bunch of bones on bother. Well, sometimes the bones bond. I really hate the bones. Sometimes I welcome the bones. Even the brand Zeno hold the bones. Can you do that? No, I would do that every time I could. Could I get out? Could I get the brand Zeno have a boy take the bones out for me? Could you take it? Can I have a busser? Yeah. Stop what he's doing. Whoever is the youngest at this establishment, pick the bones out. Give him a boy walking with only the brand Zeno bones. Fill him with brand Zeno bones. I'm walk around. That's it. I did. I did my I did my social debt. I did nothing. I didn't know socialness at all. You didn't take her to cheesecake? No. No. Well, I know. That was the day that you're no cheesecake. It only comes around. What's no cheese. What's every two years? It's a, it's a buy annual. I've been baking. That's what I do now. You bake. I've been baking. That's fun. I bake. Would you bake? I bake gluten free cookies. I bake regular cookies. I bake banana bread. I think this week is scones for fun. Like is she helping you? No. Solo dollo. Interesting. She critiques after it's like that much. You said I don't know. I mean, she said I think this week is scones. But I haven't made a hit. But you're fault, but you have like you're following something. No, I've just whatever my heart desires. My heart last night was like scones. Did you see a TikTok? Where did this come from? To bake. Yeah. Well, my girlfriend's dog died tragically. And I've been baking for her as a way to maybe have a brightness spot in her day. Okay. That's extremely sweet. Her dog died. Yeah. And so I bake a little something every day. Everywhere every week I should say another one of the thoughts ever he bring on my photo. Yeah, my bad. That was on me. No, you hold that. Hold that. I mean, you're still fucking on the stake. Yeah. I don't think we'll come crazy. I mean to say I don't care. Let me say two things, bro. First off, color balance, horrible. It makes it. The coriander brings it a lovely lavender aspect. We've got zipper three. Hi, you're on the podcast. I night. So let's let's go out to dinner tonight. What do you want to eat? You don't know. You can just make a paper. I never know. But if you had to pick something, what would it be that we would eat? Like anything. Oh, my god. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. I love you so much, dude, and I'll tell her she passed the Freud test. I'm not going to tell her. Tell her that. She doesn't know what that is. It's fine. Do you know what? Freud. No, I'm not. You don't have to explain. We shouldn't. We shouldn't be saying it. And I'm sorry preemptively. I'm, I love you. Why? Everything's going to be okay. Bye now. Wow, dude. Bitches love suicide. Three, two, one, two, one. And I'll clocked it and she passed the Freud test. You have to bring her sushi tonight now. I'm maybe texture and say pick up at work. Important emergency. That is a crazy text to send. We'll then she'll pick up. Yeah. Obviously. Just say call me at lunch, bro. It's about in brunch right now. That's fucking crazy. I didn't think I thought there was maybe like a 10% chance she'd say that she's not a sushi head. I know this. No, she is a Mexican girl. Cutie doesn't like it like raw raw meat. No, don't. Well, she doesn't do me. She's going through a lot. Why the fuck are you talking about it like that? She's like raw meat. Fish. Fish. Why are you making a meat? Why are you opening up? Probably doesn't have. Who likes raw meat? We'll eat some raw chicken. What are you talking about? Uh-huh. He would. He would. He could win if he's Swedish. Yeah. If they, if they, if they served raw chicken on a skewer and then they squeezed lime on it. Oh my god. He's called a special chicken. It's a chicken dish. And then he would eat the raw. You have to eat for her visa. He would eat the chicken dish and then he'd be like. It's chewy in sour. No, I like it. I like it. Well, it's Swedish. I like it. No, no, you can, you can finish it. You can take it. No, it is really good. It's cool. It's like it's a cultural dish. And there's the Swedish way, he's like. Yeah, there's a culture. Well, welcome to the music. All right, he bore rad now. That's what they sound like. They sound like. And the waiters in Sweden all have a cut out where their penis and falls on it. And they just hang out. Yeah. They're like elephant trunks because that's because it's such a free culture. They all have babies outside, bro. Yeah. They all have an apron with their caulk hangs below the apron. You can see the tip of my fish head. They call it a chicken dish. They call their penis a fish head. You can take it if you like. Don't you have to take me by the way? Every part of this smells like sous-throwing right now. Have you tried that yet? Sous-throwing? Yeah. I've, uh, yeah. Yeah, it's not too bad. When did you try it? In what context? I tried it that made somewhere. That's crazy. Did you try it with like bread and potato and yeah, it took a bite of the sticky fish by itself and then they, and then I didn't like it. Huh? Did you like it? I liked it a little bit. Dude. Of course he did, bro. I like stinky fish. Don't you can't even stand against it. You like stinky fish. I'm not. That's why I said it's not wrong. He doesn't like that. I don't think I would like that, but if he tried it, if he tried it, I think you would like it. It's not good. There's no redeemable quality to it. Yeah. You tried it as, but you got like shipped over. I guess it's canned. I tried it growing up too. I like stinky fish. You would like fucking sounding if it was invented in Sweden. That's what it feels like. Are we crazy for thinking that it's like sounding for your mouth? I just think I think it's pathetic to be a guy born in America obsessed with another country and just like everything that's from that country just because it's from there. You know what? Ludwig's got a point. Why are you like that, Aidan? If it was Shohei Larson, he's fucking Tsoiibu. Tsoiibu. Well, yeah. Shohei Larson, and he's just a seven-foot. Lookin' God, Shohei. Really pale. Sog up. Sog up. Back it up. Larson's that bad. He really just has become a Counter-Strike player instead. Like the, you know, it's not baseball. It's just their, their national sport. Yeah. It's dog, Swedish. No. It's Russian. The Swedes fell off and Counter-Strike. They felt very easy. No, okay. My girl failed the the girl test. What'd she say? Maybe Italian or some sort of Mexican cuisine? Mexican. A Mexican gal. Mine's a Mexican gal too. Really? Yeah. He is a Mexican gal. But if I'm a Mexican gal, I mean too much with the sausage. Four pounds of chips and sauce and no food. She hates the sauces. Oh, so she's a bird, bird-like eater. Yeah. She would love to eat just chips and salsa, and then feel bad about it after. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen her order many of salad, no dressing. Yep. No dressing. Yep. They hate sauce. I think about it a lot. Whenever I get a sauce, I think about her. But then there's things that are very sauce-like. Yep. She really does not have an issue with that. It's not in the sauce category for her. It's not in the sauce. What does she like? What does she like that is sauce adjacent? Like she'll eat ketchup with fries. Really? Yeah. It's weird, man. But she hates, like, I poured out ketchup onto cardboard to dip, and she's like, that's gross. Interesting. No, yeah. I feel that. It's also, yeah, it's real, man. Dan has it badly. Really? Yeah. If you have any amount of sauce, that's like out, he'll gag. He looks at a loco moco. If you want to make Dan throw up on his keyboard immediately. Look at a loco moco. You come in with, oh, dude, it's so, it's so gravy. A loco moco is delicious, but it is the saucy dish I can think of. This is fine. It's a little saucy slop-fuss. More curry-like, I feel like, in texture. Did his Dan hate curry? No, he's fine with that. But if you came in with a bucket of ketchup, do you feel the bucket with ketchup? No one likes a bucket of ketchup. But he would throw up immediately. Okay. He has a phobia. I think though there is a kernel of humanity in there where a bucket of ranch dressing is somehow kind of gross, right? Yeah. Even to the most normal prey. That makes me uncomfortable. It's like being poured on man. Being poured on man. Yeah. Can you send that to Dan in DMs? Oh my God. Can you just tell us what he eventually replies? And we'll get to it. He trusts you too, is it? Wait, wait, wait. He trusts you, buddy. Spoiler, ketchup, just gets a pass? No, I'm saying she has some passes. It's on cardboard. I get that. Sometimes a cardboard feels like it's easy. You know, sauce gets a pass for some reason. Really? Yeah, I think it's mostly mayo-based sauces. You know, she wouldn't fuck a thousand island. I feel that. Really just a mayo hater. I mean, if you ever left out like ranch or something, a little bit long, and that's gross, right? So what is it about this form of a thing we like that it just gets gross eventually? You know, I think I think a sauce is diet is actually amazing. Is what? It's amazing. What is that? I missed the way. A sauce is diet is amazing. A sauce is. A sauce is. I also don't know if it's a diet. - So it's just, it's amazing. - I was, I was hard on it. - I was trying to stroke, man. - It's just, it's amazing.
I see your pupils, please. - Okay, it's amazing. - A sauceless diet is amazing. - Yeah, I guess it's probably just good. - There's so much calories, how's in the sauce? - The sauce houses a thousand-- - It hides thousands of calories. - 'Cause of calories, not of calories. What are you supposed to do about that? - But you're a fucking pig. We were talking about this. - Sauce pig. - You're a sauce pig. - He's a ranch pig. - He's a ranch pig. - You can eat pizza without ranch. - I think ranch pizza. - I think ranch pizza heads are like genuinely should be shot. - I genuinely think that. - Straight up put in a camp where you have to dig holes. - Kill all of us 'cause we all do it. - Sure. (laughing) - Mommy's born to God. - My mom's here. - I'm cool with that. - Does your mom, does your mom eat pizza with a ranch? - I think that dusty pitch could crack down on some ranch. Sorry. - She literally saw the other day. He was like, "Be nice to me on the podcast." I listened to it to me. - Yeah, I like contribute to her life daily. You know what, you don't contribute anything, you're rolling it. - I never call a dusty bitch in my life. - I have a never-to-her or on the pod. (laughing) - And I'm gonna keep it that way. - Because I like a ranch on pizza. - Yeah, I think ranch pizza people are good. - You're a bit of a ranch. - You're a ranch pig. - I love it. I'll defend that. - Yeah, do you call yourself a ranch pig? - What in the comments, what percentage of people do you think like ranch on pizza versus don't? - 10% max. - 10% max just to be clear. - Like it is all I care about. - I feel like even if it were 80%, I would still think it's wrong. - I don't like that. - No, it's fair, I like that. - I'm gonna share these extreme values. I think if you like ranch on pizza, whatever. I think you're a ranch pig. (laughing) - Like if you, and I want you to oink, if you think you're a ranch pig. - You have the extreme view. - Oh, he wants to kill 80% of people. - I want to kill them. - They're both extreme in different ways. - I think you're a pig. - You want me to oink for you because of a conversation about food. - Which one is it worse? - I think you, I just want you to admit. I just want you to say that it's weak of you. - Dude, that's weak. - That's wild of you. - That's what I'm trying to say. - No, I'm weak about food. - You're weak? - To you. - To me? - Yeah, to you. - What do you have? - Senior door dash to work. - It's gonna tell me to work. - I'll eat anything. - I'll eat a break to see the sunlight. - I'll eat gruel. - You don't even take a lunch break at work. - Which I kind of respect. - Oh, so I work too hard? - No, you don't work at all. - I work too hard. - It's countershike on that monitor. - I'm fragging out. - No, bento box, I'll work. - You're gonna help me. - Lauren, help me if I don't frag this company. - We are horrible, aren't we? - Plus four. - Well, how you say this can fucking cook? - No. - We're 30 plus all of us. - I can't. - I can't. - I don't, can't. - Yeah, I got it. - This guy's one gross fucking dish that he never cleans. - Spaghetti and meat. - All the-- - It's not spaghetti. - What? - It ain't can't cook shit. - What, you can't cook either. - I made a soup. I can make a minestrone soup. - You open by saying none of us cook. - So why are you trying to come in and say you can do? - Dude, I mean, I'm a little different, I guess. - Dude, remember his chicken ramen that I know? - Oh my god, yeah. - I still think about it. - It was chicken noodle soup. - That was great. That was so fresh. - Oh my god. - Shit, it's terrible. I actually think you're the worst. You know, I think you're the worst cook of the group. - Why? - Because I think you don't care what happens. I think you don't care what it tastes like. You understand? - I, you think I don't care what it tastes like. - I'm him, I'm getting a denny spaghetti. I mean, I can deal with that, you know, I sign up for that. With you, it's like, I'm loving I'm cooking. Oh my god, you're in for the best peak experience you're like. But you straight up don't fucking care what it tastes like. - Oh, you're talking, am I care what it tastes like? - I know how. - You're ramen. You're pizza. - Dare I say you're pizza. - Oh my god. - When you're making it. - You really mean it. You've been bacon-shake, cutie's giving you notes. - Yeah, I'm sure you know it's stellar, right? - Yeah, I'm sure you know it, right? - Where she tastes. - I mean, she's like, it's good. - Ask me if there's any cookies left. - She's gonna get signed. - What's she throwing out? - She's throwing out. - I ate 'em all. (laughing) - Boy, it remains someone liked 'em. - Wait, my idea, my idea. So we try to book a club and it would extremely well. - Yeah. - We kept reading books to be ever quit. We should do a cooking club where we cook for the others and slime starts. - I don't want to do this at all. - No, I have another idea. - So we did this, let's not lie to each other. We did this. It didn't work. - We did try to do this once. - We did. - When we look together. - We all did. - Yeah, this is why we did the chicken romp. This is why it exists. - Oh my god. - We make the meal for everyone. - Yes. - Yeah, this lasted about a week and a half. - This was fucking terrible. - This is ancient good. - I don't even think everybody got a meal in. - I swear to God. - I don't remember. - Everybody, I didn't get to eat it. - We all got one. We all got one. - I don't know if we all made it to one. - We all made it to one. I swear. - I don't know. - I don't think I did one. - Really? - I did one. - I think it was two and then I don't think people liked mine. - What did you say? Fuck you for it. - You were coming at me. - I don't like that shit. - Well, what did you make? - I made pasta. - No, he wouldn't be able to cook. He can't cook either. - I mean pasta. - It's me and you. - I love it. - I made pasta and I made a lemon sauce. - Where is he from to say pasta? - I made a lemon sauce. - I'm in the world. Would he have to say that? - Let's do a fucking cooking show. - I mean, I made pasta. - Master shakshake. - It's like when Liam says Mario. - I'm saying all of his people. - We do a cooking show. All right, we have to cook a fucking dish. - Come in and we just cook it from your balls. - Yeah, like just be insane. - Just be insane. - Yeah, you're not like looking up a fucking recipe. - Are we all giving the same dish? I feel like that's kind of important. - I think we all do use a special ingredient. - I think Chopped is one of the best formats of all time. - What is that one again? - I watch it, but it's good. - It's a special ingredient. - It's like you have a list of things you have to incorporate, make the dish. - It's just one special ingredient. - And sometimes it's like Twizzler's bitch, figure it out, which is kind of fun. I heard through the grapevine around this place, which is an actual vine that I crawl around like a monkey, that you have a new Co-C-O-O, and you hired Cam. - I hear a choice. - He has no experience in doing any of the things you do, and we also learned that he didn't know how to renew in Adobe license, that's true. - Well, he's a young man, he's handsome, and he's fast. And that's why we use Quo. (laughing) Can you tell me more? - What the hell is Quo, how's that related? - Well, I'll spell Q-U-O guys. - Okay. - It's a smarter way to run my business communications. - And I told Aiden we need to, I said one thing, focus on Cerecoms. - Mm. - I wanna up the comms. - But Cam had all sorts of little necklace, little rings, and like 17 devices, the message you want. How are you gonna contact him on all those different devices? - Well, Cam's ability to run quickly makes it, so he passes messages between people quickly. - He's been a-- - And the only way for you to capture that speed of messaging across all the different platforms of communication we use, is to consolidate them in one place with Quo. - The number one rated business phone system, they got over 90,000 companies, so now we make it 90,000 one. - And you guys have a business? - Yes, we have a business. - So you're saying I can get my Slack messages and my cell phone text all in the same spot. - What's that message calls all in one place? I don't know what you're thinking. That sounds impossible. - I was thinking butter. - Let me ask you something. Why do you think Vitality's the best CS2 team on Earth? - They use Quo. - 'Cause they use Quo. - When they're calming, they use Quo. They send a Slack message, they're rushing B. - And they get faster than us. - And pop something Quo. - And I pay ducks as, oh, it's so easy. (laughing) Oh wow, it's so cool. It's so cool. - It's so cool. - It's so cool. - It's so cool. - Mix and start. - Mix and start. We have no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try Quo far free, plus 20% off. The first six months when you go to Quo.com/CR. That's qo.com/theard. Quo, no mis calls, no mis customers. And then we fucking chef it up. And then we see who can fucking drop shit. 'Cause I feel like, I did ask him to make a rou. So we rent, we rent like a plate, like a kitchen. And then we do a stream where we all compete making different dishes. - Yeah. - Okay. - And it's judged by-- - And it's judged by fucking awesome creators. - Yeah. - Fucking awesome show. - I like this. - This is a good idea. - Yeah, I don't think this is Nathan Stans. Like people who need this. - Yeah. - And then we feed them off food. - Okay. - Like awesome show Nathan Stans. - Yeah. - And the funny part is sometimes like Loki bad. And they're like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. - But sometimes it's like, that's pretty good. - It's my multiple days. - My multiple days. - Multiple days, multiple days, multiple days. - At first I was thinking, maybe let's do eliminations, but I'm thinking actually in the long run, we probably regret that. - For the stream. We probably want them to come back to that. - I like that one. - Yeah, it's better to not do eliminations. And squeaks, not allowed. - No, sweet skin. - Yeah, no squeaks. - It hasn't pissing me off. - Squeak? - I have pissing me off. - How? - I do that. How could squeaks piss me off? - Pissing me off, man. - What's here? - He's too much with the phone. - Too relaxed. - He is too relaxed. - Jump in, finally you get it. - Jump in, do you understand? This is how we feel about you. - Huh? - This is how he's always felt about you. - I'm always high strong. - They're not. - Shh. - He's waiting to release the phone up. - It's weird, I'm getting upset. - I can blow it in. - I can blow it in. - I can blow it in. - Can you just promise me that when you finally do blow. - Oh my strong. There's company behind me. - When I blow I promise you'll be there. I'll say come to work tomorrow. - Come to work tomorrow. - Company celebration. - I need everyone to come to work. - The mogul moves, wall to wall massacre. (laughing) - How did you hear about Jared Mogul? (laughing) - Jared Mogul. - You know this? - Yes. - 'Cause you're pro-phopicture. - You're Jared Mogul. - That's fucking funny. - I, it's gone now, I switched shit. - What? - I switched shit. - It's now. - It's a great way he's done. - Jared Mogul is done. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - What Jared Mogul is done? - Jared Mogul. - Jared Mogul protected the kids. - He fought. - That's people that know. - And he was a billionaire. - He fought and died protecting. (laughing) - I think he'll billionaire. - You should do what? You really slotted merch. Next time you do a pants release, you should do the Jared fogal like pants pictures where he's holding the jeans up on the white,
on the white silk screen. - Like the opposite. And it's fat h. You're gonna be holding up a small pair of jeans. (laughing) - I used to fit these. - I used to fit these. Now I'm a whale. (laughing) - This is an excellent idea. This is one of my better ones. - I can't be upset at this week's man. I've been letting him down. - Why you just been choking your games? - I'm on the worst, I'm on the worst law streak since that blackjack night. - What do you have? - With mango avoid. - I've gone from, keep in mind, I peaked 24k this season. But I've been around 22 for most of it. And I'm now almost 18. I'm 18. - Dude, we're close. - I'm 18. - 18? - Dude, that is how many games I've lost. - I see this and you know, I think we all take pride in our gaming finesse and I'm glad you brought it up. So I wanted to ask you, what the fuck is going on here? - Do I see the leaderboard? I see you just dipped. I don't know, it's been so bad. I'm taking a break. I'm like, I don't wanna play. - When was the last time you swapped your mouse pedal? - Uh-huh. - Is it the 10s wooden keyboard? - Maybe 10s is letting me down? - Maybe 10s promise? - I thought 10s was gonna win me games. - 10s well in your games. - I have no love to say, all the gear is good. So that means it's just, it's just you. - It's just me. - What a terrible realization to come through. - It's just me. - Dude, I wanted to squeeze the chat and I was like, it's squeak. So it's one, I had to ask him like four times 'cause he doesn't fucking reach out. I felt like a childish pussy. And yeah, I'm like, squeaks, so it's one thing I can do to improve it CS right now. He's like, slime, honestly, I watch you play, I watch your games. You should just like a hundred DM frags every day, which basically is saying you're bad at aiming mechanics. - You don't have hours. - It's just a classic as well. - And I was like, okay, bye. Thank you, man. - Oh yeah, while we're on topics, squeaks is the worst of all the people we know who streams to go in as a friend and get your dope from. - The worst, bottom of the list. - Yes, absolutely. - Yeah, he doesn't give you shit. - I go in, I type a little funny clip about something he's doing, and he goes, Falco, it's the worst. - I'm like, that's what I get for coming here and saying how nice to you. - Oh, God. - He doesn't even, I feel like he doesn't even read. - No. - No, he doesn't. - He doesn't read. - I will. (laughing) - He's gonna do his part. What do you mean? - He's the secret sauces because when most people stream a game like Counter Shrike, their viewership belled off. It crashes a bit. But when squeaks streams Counter Shrike, he magically retains his viewership, I feel like. - He didn't do a dumb question. - And he doesn't interact with his spears. - Yeah, and thanks for that dumb question. Very stupid. Lovely one. - Why is it dumb? Let me follow up. - Why is it dumb? - Okay, most people in this stream league, bad viewership. - Yeah. - Tyler won when he streams League. Viewership's pretty good. - Huge penis. - You think he's, he didn't get known for streaming Counter Shrike. - Counter Shrike has been his main game, his whole career. - Yeah, but he didn't come to prominence from streaming Counter Shrike. - He always had it there, you know what I mean? So it's like, if you give a baby rum to fall asleep from zero to fucking 21. Guess what that baby's gonna grow up to? So many likes drinking rum. And rum is CS2 and babies are his viewers. - Is it not Mario 64? I also think Mario is also part of it. - And that's the vodka in this analogy. - It's the other. - This baby's gonna be fucked up. - Oh, I guess that works like other. - Squeaks is a guy you can trust as a viewer to be funny no matter what he's playing. And it also helps that he's pretty good at Counter Shrike. And he's not like me fumbling through the game and you're watching him for different reasons. - I think you try to send cops to shoot in the head. - They're fun, they're a game play. - He's also potentially getting a little, he's not somewhere in Germany. But Germany can play any game. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Germany breaks the mold kind of. - I don't think the thing is Germany can play any game. Germany only plays any game. - Any game, yeah. - Maybe that's part of what you know him for. - He plays crazy shit. - I'll look at it 'cause I, you know, I follow like 10 people on Twitch and I'll like look on the side in Germany's there. It's playing a game and I'm just like, "I don't know what that is." And he has like 15,000 viewers. - Yeah, that he was playing a game where you had to not get caught by your neighbor walking across the street. - Oh, that's a great game. - Right. So I'm like, "This is a German game." And then he got caught and he was like, "Ah!" - That game used to be huge. - Who would you select Ludwig for our one streamer? We globally get one. - Oh. - Wow, Germany's a good pick. - Germany's a great pick, I think. - Germany's a good pick. - Everyone in the world had to watch Germany every day, like including people who don't watch it. Like Benjamin Netanyahu had to watch Germany. - They put him in your 20 minutes. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - It's one streamer for everyone. - Yes. - Let's both see if it. - Chomo Army grows. The Chomo Army grows one more time. - What? - Some of them call ourselves. - One last time. - No, the lowest Chomo squad. - Yes. - We all get fades. - He hasn't hit me back, by the way. - Yeah, really? - He's not gonna hit you back, bro. - I mean, you've pressed in. - You fucking pressed in. - You've pressed in with the Lakers game when you tried to press this girl. - I wanted to just talk to him and maybe his girl. - Yeah. - And that was why you were fucking weird. - What if this summer, what if on July 16th this summer? It's a yard national holiday, the first yard holiday. And you have to go to your barber and you gotta show him picture of Lose. - Yeah. - You gotta say, "Give me this." - Lose, give me this. - And we post, we all post our photo about how the barber does our shit. - I get a clean cut beard. With, you know, I'm still working with what I got though. I get it, it doesn't fill out. It's not the same. - Are you gonna spray it in? - I'm made from zero opacity to two opacity. (laughing) I'm clean shaving on the top. I got two earrings in. I make a field account. - What is a field? - What is a field? - What? (laughing) - I don't know, it's a field. - Don't worry about it. - Oh, is that like the one where you look for a third? (laughing) - You're free. - I'm not, I'm not weird. I'm not weird, I'm just, I'm just a fade. - And I bet you already got a field account. - You probably do have a field account. - I made one a long time ago. - Really? - Yeah. - That's awesome. - And then he goes to zero, he goes, "Add me on field." (laughing) - By the way. - She's like, "What?" - Just add me on field, we can check. - And then it's a fight. (laughing) - And it's a whole thing. - No, I don't want that from us. - I'm a Uber driver. - I'm not, I ain't a Uber driver. I will never disrespect, thank you for driving us home. Do you want to have sex with us? (laughing) - I don't know if that fucks with the shift. I don't really know how this works. I'd love to fuck you. (laughing) - Sorry, how do you pronounce your name? I would love to fuck you. - Oh my God. - I was a way. - I was a way. - People on the subreddit and stuff, they always talk about war, the girl's night shirt, got some compliments. Who, as soon as I walked into that, the security guy took a picture with me. And he wasn't a fan. - Did he see the back when he asked? - No. - He just like the front. - He just really like the front. He took a picture of me and with me with a film camera. - Yeah. - And I was like, "Yeah." - And I was like, "Check out the back." He actually didn't like the back very much. You know, the front codes itself as kind of normy flop. - Okay. - 'Cause it's like the ironic t-shirt that you would buy on like a Facebook or an Instagram ad. But codes itself in the real world. It's like, "Oh my God, I love your shirt. "I get compliments all the time." - Yeah. - And they never care for the back. - And you like check that out. There's irony on it. And they're like, "Oh." (laughing) - That's what happened three times. I was so surprised, but it's funny. I think I'm the one different person on this because I'm on the back. - I'm wearing a shirt of myself. - It's just funny that it's me. - It's different for you. - It is cool for you. - This is like when I wore the shirt, I've for a long time, I would just wear that shirt that Anthony got me for my birthday wear. It's me ordering at a pocket shop on the front. And I would just wear it. And then people usually ordering something. They'd be like, "Is that you?" (laughing) - That's so good. - It's just me and a cloth and a cloth mask at the end of COVID order in the pocket. - Open order in the pocket. - Jimmy's pocket. - Jimmy's pocket. - Dude, did you see that clip? It was actually so fucking funny. An underrated joke, it's Ron talking to a clerk at a store. And he's like, "I'm stable, Ronaldo." You watch me ever? It's like, "No." And it's just an interaction. This guy does not know who he is. Does not care. He's actually kind of annoyed this young person. And he's like, "Am I supposed to be like, honored or something?" But an underrated joke is Ron because Jason the wind is behind him at the other counter. He's like, "You know who Rice Gum is?" He's like, "No." That's Rice Gum. Jason's like, "Hey." (laughing) - Dude, they do that. They didn't do that for five years. - I just saw for the first time. That was like, it was just the timing. - And it was an amazing. - And it was an ice man they call him "Rice Man." - Okay. - I like it. - Ice man's the new Drake album. - But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense at all. - Why? - Because Rice Gum is just another Asian guy. - No, no, no. Jason the wind dressed up like Drake. And then he said, "That's an ice man, that's Rice Man." - I get it. - I feel like that's charged. - Do people like Drake? Did the police discuss amongst yourself reply to two people in the thread? - The world was better when we all like Drake. Okay? - The world was saying, "Hold on, hold on." - I'm saying whenever that comes back 'cause it will, 'cause Goats Boomerang. (laughing) - Goats Boomerang. - 'Cause he dropped, I don't know if you know this, he dropped three albums in a day. - Oh. - Recently. - What? - Everyone called it poop. - He dropped three albums in a day. - Here's the crazy back. - Most people called them poop, busy shit. (laughing) - Hey, you're mad. - No one read my tweet in that voice, but that's how I meant to. - Busy shit? - Hey, you're mad. (laughing) - I said that voice message to Hitch, who hasn't shut up about Drake, who is really knowing about rap, honestly. (laughing) But, Hitch had Nick England on it. - Yeah, he did, I love that. But I said a voice message to him, and I'm like, "Drisy shit." - Hey, you're mad. - Do you like it? - Does he like Drake, or do you like Drake? - Do you love Drake? - Do you love Drake? - But how do you feel about it? - Do you like Drake or beefy? - This is my point. Is that he loves Drizzy, he loves Dot, and he loves Cole. Can you pick a goat, you understand? Can you pick a goat? - You have the big three, choose one. - I think this is what I disagree. I see Hitch's rap opinions on the time on, and it's the number one thing I disagree with. (laughing) I'll say that.
that he's so, he's so serious about them. That's the problem. - I love what Hitch will like pull up on a tweet with someone who'll be like, who will be like, bro, that shit was overheads. - Bro, come on man. Dude, you're a white guy. (laughing) - With the bus and haircut. - Hitch, come on man, I love you. - I do. - He's so earnest. - I mean, he had Nick yingling on his paw. - You got a man set up in the background of your live stream, bro. - Do you have a lot of dot? - Do you guys know about Mio? - No. - Zoomer language has been adapting and now they're using Mio. - Like Spanish Mio. - Like Spanish Mio instead of, you know, brother or-- - Okay, yeah, like my child. - Yeah. - How do they say it? - It was a guy in my chat and he goes, I'm crying about this large Mio and I said, dude, you're white, you can stop. (laughing) - Yeah, when you use all of the pieces from Dior and you look like a Frankenstein instead of the one piece that accents you. - This is just, we've morphed nephew. - Yes. - Because at first it was nephew. - Yeah, it's someone from Black culture, I feel. - Beautiful language. - Swing from Black culture. - Are Mexicans up next? - Are Mexicans? (laughing) Are Mexicans up next? - The worst, the worst out of context cut on the show, maybe all time. - They've been due. - Oh, maybe all time. - The white ball of guy with mustache says, are Mexicans up next? - Is it shut the builder? Why is he upside? - And I have an idea for an Instagram account if you're down. I wanna dress you up like a newsman and rent one of those news places and we'll just feed you lines and we just post reels of you saying whatever we say. - Okay. - So are Mexicans up next? (laughing) - Turns out Cantonese hard language to learn. - Shit like that. Tom Tom Chihur is up next to being street fighter. - Yes, and they're all like one sentence. There's no like story. It's the onion with no article. All headlines, all reels, all of you. - We could pull all this stuff too. It's like 19 year old arrested for having sex with the horse for the second time. - You got it. - This is time it felt good. - You like a lot of news. This is also a concept that should be done on a green screen with some Tik Toker. It's so easy. You just put a shirt on. - Hey. - He's our Tik Toker. - Big on Tik Tok. - Let's make you fucking. - You'd be crazy on Tik Tok, bro. - You think I could get crazy on Tik Tok? - I don't like Tik Tok, man. There's no nudity. - What? (laughing) - Tell 'em go. - What do you browse and field? - What? - Field shorts. - That thing is permitted. They're paying creators to post on field shorts. - Field shorts. - It's a laugh out of you like that. You got a chair or shit, man. You got to sit there. You got to say good shit, man. I'll have to spit my drink out. - You didn't spit it, damn drink it. I just smiled. I smiled like watching my son hit a whole fucking run. - Blow away. Blow away. - Are you kidding us? - What is invincible versus like what you guys told me? - I don't know what I keep trying to understand. I don't know what it is. - What is it they keep? - We said it into us and I don't know. Invisible versus sounds awesome. Buddy, calm down, Rita. - Yeah. - What is it? - Well two things, before we jump in first, I would like to kill Disguise Toast and I'd like to keep that in Archie. - Second, it's a 3v3 tag fighter, which I played against Disguise Toast. - Okay. - And it turns out, A, this game is pretty bad at. It's bloody, gory, you pop people's heads up. B, it's some fucking bullshit. When a guy has infinite tags. - Did he play Cecil? - And he's fucking my shit up. And he plays like a pussy. - What team did he run? - He runs Cecil and he shoots the fucking gun and Cecil goes, "Go!" And then a robot flies past Cecil. It's just, "Go, go, go!" - That's cool. - And I'm playing Battle Beasts 'cause I play fucking cool. - Yes. - But it turns out that I need to go through the other 18 playable characters 'cause they got a fuck ton. - And I got some good news for you, lovely. There are four more characters coming just in the first year. - Hey, let me tell you, the Viltramites are bad as hell. They look super fucking sexy. - Yeah, it's a race built to be Cecil. - They look super sexy. - But the Battle Beasts is also sexual. - What? - You seem a little upset because you lost. It doesn't feel like it's about the game. - Almost said because I think-- - He should be given a talking to him. - And I also think you should be talk to him. - Don't check out Invincible Versus out now on PlayStation X Box and PC. It's 49.99 available right now. Please check it out. - That'll be so cool. - You've ever been on the-- - I want it like Sniff's. You've ever been on that? - What is that? - Why do you know all these niche apps? - Sniff's? - This is a horny guy. - I'm sorry, my bad Sniffies. - What Sniffies? - Is it what I think it is? - You guys don't know any cool shit, bro. - I just don't know. - You guys actually don't know any cool shit. If TikTok was like Sniffies, it'd be way more like-- - What are Sniffies? (laughing) - Zipper, you gotta tell him those Sniffies is 'cause they didn't want. - Is it Sniffy with the wire and I, yes. - I, yeah, it's bro. - It's a hot dog game, yeah. - Look at that shit on it. - Is it like an underwear exchange app? - I'm sure you can exchange underwear on there. - Sniffy's app login. By entering, you agree to be a senior older. - It says cruise the map. Dude, what? - Dude. - So we can't log in, but the website is a guy with his pants pulled down. Kinda like the sunscreen, like bottle. - And he's revealing a thong that he's wearing, yeah. - And the slogan underneath the Sniffy's logo says, "For the curious." - When were you born, fucking go to the 90s, man. - And they got us, we are curious. I've confirmed, I mean, all the age requirements. Is there more than one? - Are you a real cruiser? - Oh my God. - Hey, website, I am. - Dude, is this-- - This is some rare capture. - I won't lie, I've been failing capture test lately and it's really been bothering me. - 'Cause they've gotten hot. - They've made it too hard. - And they've been rated too hard. - Some of them are like 10 steps. - Fuck me, I got so hot. (laughing) - What is this? Wait, wait, wait. - So it's doxing our location. - Oh, it's cock. - Oh, you have to, wow. - Okay, well, let's describe what we see. Basically-- - It's just a map and it has a bunch of bubbles. Almost like when you play Geoguester, except instead of the Geoguester icon, it's Peoples, Penises, and it's all Penises. - Dude, it's a gay dating app, right? - There's a poop. - There's a poop? - Where do you see the poop? - I don't see a poop. - Put out the poop. - Show me the poop form. - It's a poop. - It's a poop. - It's a poop. - It explains it to me. - What are they sniffing at each other? - This one's for Circle Jerks. Muscle men in Twink video game. - Wait, that's also more G party. - You guys don't see the poop form? - No, it's a game. - It's a game. - See, this is what you guys are missing out on. - Yeah, okay. - All right. - I think that's a penis. - You're talking, you see the one I'm talking about. - I think I see it now, I think it's a penis. - Yeah. - Can you click on it? - It's a penis. - Let's look at the poop. - It's a monster. - It's a monster. We're making the party. - We're already helled to monetize. Let's get out of here. - 'Cause I never did pull it up though. - Yeah, I like how the bubbles keep popping up. - Wait, it's not like that. - It's a ninja, but that one's underwear. So is it, do people, is it start as a smelling site? - Yeah, how wide, okay. Let me ask you this as a fake gay. What is the difference between this and Grindr? - So in that sentence, you're the fake gay. - Yeah, I didn't mean to say it like that. I pointed it at eight. - Yeah. - Audi listeners, I pointed at eight. - So you said as you're not a fake gay, you're saying eight and the fake gay. - That's two fake gays me and eight. - Right. - Why would you use this versus Grindr? - I think it's a little more, it's, - This one's a more sexual. - It's a little more on the nose than Grindr. I would say. - Am I? - Sniffies. - That's the way. - It's more on the nose. - The way it goes. - That's like what they could say. - This is very much, there's no, there's no question about it. - No gimmick. - You're here, there's no gimmick. - I'm gonna smell it. - You're here to plow. You're here to plow and to smell it. And that's it. - And that's it. People are very forward. There's no, there's no sheen of what Grindr - Grindr might still be. - I don't even man try to poke. - Smelling someone's shit out of their ass used to be underground. - Now you can do it on your phone. - And now there's some VC, some cocksucker VC up in Silicon Valley who's like, let's make it, let's be like worthless middleman. - I think they'll never share $5 in the week. - It's kind of wild. - Scratch and sniff. - There's no, I think there's like no app for it. It's browser only. - Okay, it's kind of, that's tough. - Brow's are old. - Yeah, it's 'cause the app store doesn't allow porn. So maybe this counts as porn. - Oh, maybe that's why. - Maybe that's why. - They would love to be awesome. - That was a Steve Jobs decision. They lambasted him for it. - Really? - Yeah, see? - He's taking the porn. - And they said, you charlatan prick. - How dare you do that. - Allow porn. And he said, no porn, I have a daughter. - I have a fucking daughter, dude. - And then he abandoned her for 10 years. - But he also does made it easier. - He died. - He died. - He abandoned her before he died. - Oh. - But he also does made it easier to put an iPad in a kid's hands. So it's like, was it really that noble? - I think he saved the iPad really. - He saved for generations. - He died before the iPad for the most part. - No. - No, it was the most part. - Yeah, he did, I think so. - He didn't die. - This is the first iPad come out before he died. - Let's find this out. - I'm gonna guess the release of the first iPad is in 2010. Okay, and when do you think Steve Jobs died? - Didn't he die in 2012 or 11 or 12? - Okay, let's take a look. - I forgot where all this is. - Let's dig into this one. I think the iPad came out after he died. - What's the new one? - But you want Sniffy's post. - A Sniffy's post? - Yeah, there's your post on Sniffy's and they have to agree to whatever and MDM's them. - I'm out of free post, but deal. - Zippers. - Zippin' my beat, boys, and jack off my soul. - First iPad, April 3rd, 2010. - Right on that. - Steve Jobs. - Oh my God. - Two times. - Really, man? - I'm just so, I tell you. - It's just kidding. - It's not easy for me and Nick. It's too easy. - He was in this. - Yes, I was. I said, I was, you also go in here. - I said, I was, I was also going 20 days. - Sniffy's post ready. - Sniffy's post. - You have to post two times. You actually have to bring a profile for you. - I'm not supposed to. - Close and one for you. (laughing) - We got DM'd already. - Oh, okay, zipper DM'd Dan, a big bucket of ketchup. - Oh, no, no, I think he made a Sniffy's account. - Sniffy's account got a DM. - Oh. - What? - Yeah, say hi. - What? - Say hi. - Say hi. - Don't even have photos. - Say it.
Hey, hey dot, dot, dot, sorry. I'm a bit new here. What is that outfit, bro? Why are we flirting with a bat? - We should've just-- - Oh, okay, we should-- - It's obviously a chatbot, though. - What, it's not, it's not. - This is a guy that's calling a chatbot. - If we were a chatbot, they would respond. - They're another anonymous cruiser. - This guy wants to smell it. Let him. - I can't wait for you guys to get scammed. - No worries. - No worries. That's very human. - This is an AI chatbot. - AI chatbot. - Something appropriate. - 64. - No, no. - No, 64. - I'm a little bit old. - You guys are 24. - 64. - 64. - Dot, dot, dot. - Before I'm a little bit old. - Dot, dot, dot. - I'm a little. - Dude, dot, dot. - I'm a little old. - Jesus Christ, you're an ellipsis machine. - Well, that's very old, okay. - Is that okay? (laughing) You know, not kind of mine. - Dude, this is not a real person. - This is a real person. - There's a real world. - There's a real anonymous cruiser. Chatbot, he doesn't even hit real word. No worries, yeah. - Are people body non-sniffy? - This guy says, oh, it says it's Agent Height. He's 23-5-8. - 23-5-8. What are the yard fans? (laughing) - Oh, they're not responding now. - Damn it, that was ever quick. - That was tough. - That was ever cool. - Give me a chance. Look, leave it there if you respond, you respond. But I think that we have fortunately reached a filter. That's this man's young man's personal filter. - You guys are just trying to group Rizegay guy. We're trying to cruise for hot gay sex. - Yeah, but don't act like you'd actually fucking spread it. - No, I wouldn't. I don't think I want to do that. - Yeah, so it's like, what are you egging this guy along? You're not even going to love him. - Dude, we've just made it, yeah, that's gross, bro. - You're not going to love him, bro. - You've got to fresh account with nothing on it. What is that? - What is that? - I think it's Claude is what it is. - Not Claude, bro. There's bots everywhere, bro. I don't even think there's any Patreon members on this fucking podcast. - And God, and God damn it, if I wish that. - Wait, they talk. Wait, they talk. - There are some bots in there. - In the Patreon? - That pay? - No, I mean like human bots. (laughs) - But we put them in creepy tormentor and when they don't. - Yeah, they call them eventually, for a long leave. - You have a creepy tormentor? - I have no clue what that even means. - It's a role that I made in this score called creepy tormentor. And if you creep me or torment me, you get creepy tormentor and it puts you in a channel that you can't speak to me anymore. And you're with the other creepy tormentors. That's all you guys in there. - It sounds like something I would do. - It takes away your access from the rest of the discord and you're just locked in there. - So you're not bailing the discord? - No, no. - You're only with the, in the hack server. - You put them in Asphodel. - Asphodel? - You're in the asphodel? - Yeah. - You're in low-priol. - Recently someone appealed. They were in there for like a while and they said, I'd like to appeal. Where do I do that? I said, do it here. - Do it here. - And they did successfully? - Yeah, it was a successful appeal. - He was like, he's a generous king. - And so you go to Asphodel. That's right. - I track you to send. - And I say, would anyone like to appeal? - If you kick your head, it needs through the swamp, and the skulls, and the blood. - I'm just in there, I'm just following orders. I never help. - You don't help. - I don't put people in there. - You don't put people in there. - Do you talk to them in there? - No, don't even speak to them. - It's been incredibly effective. There was a sacrifice of one user named Metro Dunin that we all remember. There was one sacrifice and then Metro left the discord. He kind of sad because they were around for a long time, but they deserved it. They deserved it. - And sadly, he guys would crucify me for this. But I love this. - I'll see you soon after. - Nickzone got a lot cleaner. - Can I ask what Metro Dunin did? Just consistently annoying. - And you hate when they're consistently annoying. - I hate annoying. - A lot of hear your own voice core. A lot of things that don't need to be typed out and said because slime annoying is like, how are you doing today? Not like that. - Yeah, it could be like that. - I'm less sensitive than that. - But it's still, would you call? Would you say it's something kind of worthless? - See, look what happens when you appease it. Would you still say it's something that's worth it? - You're so terrible. - You're terrible. - Would you still say it's something that's not worth it? - Would you still say it's something that's worth it? - I did watch a video this man, he was a small creator, but he had one big post and it said, "Yes, I said slurs on League of Legends." And that's how it opens. And he goes, "I've been addicted to league my whole life. First it started with porn." - Is this all serious? - It's a very serious. - No, it's a father. - Tarzan? - Wait, he found porn. - You run a league from porn? - He goes, "First it was porn. I was tracking off every night." - My friends got into League of Legends and I got addicted to the competitive nature and I would play every night. - But he stopped jerking off. - And I tried quitting, but every time I saw it, I'd re-download it. And I finally wanted to quit one day, so I got into a game and I told my team my plan. And they supported me. And I said, "Every slur I could think of." And I quit. And now I have more time with my wife and my beautiful kids. - Wow. - And then I looked through the rest of the page and it's all like, you know, waking up early and working out is good for you. - Yeah. - It's not like like normal hard-core. - Yeah. - I must make your bed. - But I think this was real. This was his out. - Yeah. - It sounds like he got, he is just acceptable to being one shot by things really quickly. And I'm surprised that GPT hasn't bore a hole into his mind and made him kill his family. - It's fine. He said, "It was porn. It lies if I believe he." - Yeah. - Tarzan? - You know what Tarzan was playing? - You were watching porn? - Yeah. - Did you think about it? Because we were over here, right? - Oh, yeah. - We were over here. - When I heard that. - It was a shot. - People talked to Chachi, GPT for a month and then he'd kill somebody. - Yeah. - All the time. - All the time is. - Go look it up, Mr. Researcher, because I see a fucking article about it all the damn time. Oh, me and Aiden on the advice show, we came up with this awesome concept. - Okay. - You know, Hot Fuzz by the Killers, the debut album from the Killers band. - That's the blue one. - That's the blue one, the city. Killers band from Las Vegas. They came out with this album, Hot Fuzz Great, and they had Mr. Brightside. It's a re-concept of that album, Mr. Bullside. It's about a man who is a bull who cucks husbands, and he feels ticked. I just can't cuck, it's killing me. Right? - Yeah. - You still keep it's killing me. - Now, Andy, you're a bull. - I'm taking your bull or something. - You are, girl. - It would be Chelsea. It would be. - There's also. - All the group guys. - All these men that I've cucked. - It's so beautiful that 10 years later. You just find a way to come back to basics of what I was doing. When you were making fun of me 10 years ago, making a little parody. - Yeah. - You've got. - Making a little parody song. - I mean, it just came naturally. - You got a box of me. Let me tell you. It was like divine inspiration. - I understood how Homer felt. - What pisses me off about this song is you sound amazing on it. You literally sing good. - My voice was so much better back then. - You sing good. - What happened to you? - Smoked. - Oh. - China. - You're so good singer. - No, I lost it. I know I lost it. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to piece me. I know I lost it. Like your CS rank is gone, bro. - I want to do that. Come on. - Now, I'm coming back. - I'm going back. - No truth. Bring it back, bro. - Dude, it's 45. I've lost so many games. I might be close. I'm scared to count because I might be close to that streak I had on Valorant. - Ooh. - Do you remember that? - Yeah, I do. - Do you remember I was on. - I think I had lost 16 games in a row going on 17th. I'll never forget it because this had reached so far around our friend group that I was streaming the game to a discord call and the call was 15 to 20 people deep, including Ludwig. - Yeah. - Sweating it is, yeah. - Sweating my 17th game and I will never ever forget being up 11-1 in that 17th game and it going to OT and thinking maybe I just can't wait. - That was beautiful. - Because there's so few moments where the boys are in cord and Ludwig is there. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He only watches the grand finals. - Yeah. - Of things. - And I'm close to that right now. - So what are you at? What's your streak at? - I think it has to be at least eight. - Okay. - I started talking about double digits. - But the thing is, the eight is broken up by like, I had a win before that eight and I had lost like nine before that. - Yeah. - You're like two and 20. - Yeah. It's a very bad right now. - It's bad. - Yeah. I get it, bro. I've never been in the spot ever. Probably never will be. But I get it. - I don't know what it is. - It's hard. - I think what happens, I go through this period with games where I'm like in Space Jam where any power I have gets sucked out of me into somebody else's basketball. - And you got the Yips. - And I can't. I literally can't shoot the gun. I got it. - You got the Yips, bro. Happens in baseball all the time. They had to send a Rokie down to the minors. - Can I say something kind of hurtful in? - Yeah. - That's fine. - You put up a mental fortress for it. - Mental fortress. Hold on, I'm building it. It looks kind of like when you build the Doran zombies. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay, it's done. - I was watching the CS event and I was watching Aiden play. I was sitting in the kitchen and I said, he doesn't counter-strafe. Then Yingling chimes from the back of the room and he says, he's got a low success rate. Because Yingling knows his counter-strafe success rate and I'm like, why do you know that? - It's like a stat, right? - I don't know. I didn't know his stat. - Yeah. - Is he showing it in the game? - Yeah, you can get the stat. - It doesn't show it like in. - Oh, it's not a default game though. You can go find it. - Yeah, yeah. He just knew it. - But he just knew it. - Yingling just knew his stat off-mind. - Whoa. - So you got a low success rate. - Yeah, because he's a Valorant Cell. - Hmm. - You played Valorant for so long. - It's honestly kind of bad. - Look at you. - It's okay. It's out-canceling. - It's hard. - You're just like, go ahead and bow it. - You don't even have to bow it. - Yeah. - Sorry. - You jump. - Yeah. - You jump and you land. - You're first shot in the air.
- Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It is? - No, no. - Oh. - I was gonna say, that's not fair. - It isn't cod. - All your bolts are. - Cods fucked up. - Well, Street Fighter does that too, where you can look at all of the stats of like the types of movie you use and then line it up against any player. It's just on a database on the game. So like, you can look at the top cammy in the world and be like, how often do they use this function? - Oh yeah. - And you can be like, well, I use it way more than that guy does. Maybe that's why I'm listening. - Well, I would love to see it like a, you put a bunch of Street Fighter bots into a simulation, they play a billion games, and then you just get the heat map of like, what movie's character uses and it's, and it's at the amount of times it connected. - Yeah. - And did damage. - Range will help you with that. - You could probably get, if you got that info and it was just like, all right, this character is high fucking kick, like connects 70% of the time. You could probably spam that to like, plat. - The thing is, Street Fighter is kind of such a simple game that we kind of already figure this out. And it's my sheer a new eye and her giant rack and her evil bitch fire moves. - Do you look at my sheer a new eyes, Rack? - Please. - Please, computer. - They're just too big. - It's crazy. - I think I would draw the female anatomy better than a lot of Street Fighter artists. - Hi, that's my sheer a new eye. - Dude. - Wow. - Oh my god. - It doesn't even seem like a comfortable outfit. - Dude, she is just, there's no way she doesn't want breast reduction. - I mean, a lot of this is a fan art, but if you go to the actual registry from Street Fighter, like-- - Oh, it's my. - This is how they would dress in these movies she had to play like a barista. (laughing) - Look at that. Look at King of Fighters, bro. Is that real? - Oh, no. - Is that actual King of Fighters cover? 'Cause that's fucking crazy. - Fuck, that's disgusting. Are there other photos, dude? I hope there's no more. Oh, there's so many. Open one big. - Yeah, they made, they know where their bread's buttered. It's Gooner and she's the best character in the game. - Oh, she's really the best. - Yeah, by like a-- - The best Gooner in the game. - By a damn country mile. She's the best character. - Oh, period. - Oh wow. - She's very, very, very oppressive. - It's a fox or what? - What about Edmond? - Edmond Honda, he's pretty, he doesn't really make toppings. - Brilliant. - Okay, let's get it. - That's what he stands for. - Yeah. - Isn't that funny? - Oh, I didn't know that. Edmond, really? - Edmond Honda. - I'm also called he, if I look at me. (laughing) I'd also go by he. - You know, real honest update. I heard you've been playing off-stream. Where's the Strait Fighter at? - How's that naked, greasy man? - Dude, I've been fucking everything up in my life. I'm not playing any Strait Fighter. I've been busting down some league. I had a desire to play league the other day. - Casually? - Yeah, well, yeah. I just played a solo game of league. It was horrible. I was like, I was like, this'll be fun. And then I played it. And then my team, we had 90 kills in the game. I was like, this fucking soft. This is insane. - 90 kills. - 90 kills across both teams, yeah. - It wasn't with play. - No, no, it was just a regular game. - Wow. - Yeah, there's like 30 kills one minute 10. I was like, this is something. - Are we gonna rev up the training? - No, man, I'm fucking taking it slow. - You're taking it slow? - I'm taking it slow, yeah. - Yeah, that's fine. But that would still constitute speeding it up eventually. - I'm taking it slow right now and I'm working on me. And I think that will help me more in the long-term than studying a game. - Tyler Wann is gonna drop his balls and his penis at the same time into your butthole. - On stage at evolution. - I beat him on Thursday. So why can I do it again? I literally beat him up this week. - League of Legends. - In Strait Fighter? - League of Legends. - Oh, oh. - Oh, oh, oh. - Maybe I'm gonna make some shit on care about. - Wait, who's on Tyler's team? - He had Summit, Dizzy Kitten, Genji, and I forget the fifth. - What are you gonna do with that introduction? - Maybe Emmy. - Do those people play League? - No, not Emmy. - Most know, the best player on our team was Emerald. - Lily, right? - Yeah. - And we won. - He won. - More cohesive. - I told, I talked to Kelby because I was looking at, well, I was, we were watching Bert Pena on Ironically. - Yeah. - And we were watching Bert Pena do his draft 'cause that's really only a team we care about. And I'm like, Kelby, I see some of the names on this thing, bro. Why can't slime be up in big lights on the AT&T and Nihilator Cup? - Answer on your phones at home. - He does this thing. He does this thing where he's like, and he turns down, he's like, slime. Come on. And you all watch him to AF. And so you know exactly what he sounds like. - He'll go, he'll go, oh, you're serious. Okay. - Oh my God. - Oh, you're serious. Well. - So, well. - Oh, he puts his little hands together like a bird. - With a brand? - It's involved. - Like a bird. - Yeah, dude, you're. - And then he's like, your Twitter, it's crazy. And he doesn't even say it like that. Your Twitter is, and then we'll try to find a word that's easy to find, but he can't. - Don't know what. - Not exactly brand, see. (laughing) And I was like, that's fucked up. - But Tyler wasn't the goddamn thing. - Well, I get to be in some shit. - You know what it is? It's because your Twitter is like a, it's a ledger. Whereas like his, his things he says on the stream they just fade away. And they're like, oh, long as it's not a clip that people care about, we don't care. - Well, no, it's also he just has, he's Tyler one. He's bigger. - He has the biggest penis. - He's Tyler one. - His penis is way bigger than my penis where it kind of could ever grow to be. - The larger the penis, the more you can set. - And isn't that nasty. Isn't that nasty? - Isn't it not, does it not make sense that AT&T wants a bigger penis? - Should they want a small penis? - Okay, AT&T largest company in the world that wants a small penis. - Try it out. - I want a tiny penis this time. - Try it. - AT&T running this, let's get really tiny penis. - Try it. - Try it, try it, try it. - Try my meat, niche. - Try my micro-meat. - Showing my micro-meat. - AT&T, try it. - In the board room. - The AT&T Sniffy's meetup. - Micro's only. (laughing) - Micro's only. (laughing) - The Nolo's refused micro event. And it's like, sometimes you just miss the load. - That happens. - I never refused it. I just didn't know it was there, I just missed. - Was that on a major smith? - Was that a load? (laughing) - You know what's a kind of recession indicator on the several people are selling their old yard merch. - Doc bags, books, a lot of stuff. I think it's a clear indication of the material conditions getting worse. - Hmm, that's probably true. - What can you do? - Which means it's probably time to buy low, you know? - Yeah, which means probably shouldn't sell an art book. - We need (laughing) - Good thing we're not working on it. - It's like a fantastic adventure. - That's like, but if you went and checked there could be more t-shirts on the store right now. - That's true. - That's true. - Okay. - Oops. - I was gonna say, we need to start selling speculative assets as products. - What tungsten, well we're selling tungsten. - We should sell insider trading information. - Like banks, bro. - Not even kidding, we should sell our tungsten. We should sell the queue. - Oh, our tungsten, that's fine. - Yeah, do you say that? - Our tungsten. - Yeah, that we split four ways. I bought that with the art account. - Oh, thank God. - Yeah. - It is ours. - It's my tungsten. - No, no, we bought it with the art account. - I bought it with the art account. - I just wanted to check. - He sure is actually. - Sure, but he sure is actually. - Okay. - Like, he has to do this. - This guy can't find shit. He didn't even know he was paying for the electricity bill. - No, that's not true. - He knows a voice like that. - It means it's kind of there. - No, it's not true. - It means it's something true. - It's a little bit of true. - You know what the truth is, you know what the truth is, before Pop Pop came back into this role, we literally hadn't paid the electricity bill in over two years in this office. - I do remember that. - Yeah. - Which is also insane that the electricity, they didn't just cut the electricity to the building. - Well, they were busy orchestrating a giant fire that burned people's houses down. - 20 grand in utilities builds, unpaid, when I came into this role. - And you wanna know how to start making money? - There's a leverage. - You leverage people, you leverage time, you leverage assets. - Yep. - And this time, we're leveraging all three by not paying for that bill until the person who comes over to fuck themselves. - Hey, fuck you and your overalls. Turn that shit off, go ahead and try. And what he's referring to is, I thought when I was investigating the issue with our internet at the office, I thought that the reason was, oh, we stopped paying the bill because we had switched it off a different card. Christian had moved it from a card to an account. And that's, we'd been paying it. - You know what, unfortunately, Ludwig, he suspended himself well. - I look at the bills every month, and the bill says the same amount every month, so I'm like, we're paying it. Christian's got it handled. - Great stuff. - You got on this fucking porn movie director guy? - Honestly, yeah. - What does this have to do with pornography? (laughing) Honestly, yeah. - Most of what you brought up today is kind of pornographic. - Yeah. - What does this have to do with that? - Yeah, I'm pornhead. - Yeah, I do my job. - You'd run a tight ship on a porn set. - I'd run a mean porn production company. - No, no flip on your back. You just say where you're in the position you are for an hour. - I mean. (laughing) - Oh, dude, A.D. - Oh, I pee. - A porn set would be the most annoying part. - It would be gross. - 'Cause you have to schedule everything, and you have to get the people to clean shit up. The director more as the vision. The director can-- - porn stars are punctual. (laughing) - If there's anything like you, brother. - That's what I'm saying. You know, like streamers ever reputation, they're not punctual. - I feel like you stars are punctual. - I feel like porn stars are punctual. - You think they are? - Yeah. - That's probably the best shit you're doing that day. - Yeah, there's an excitement. Well, I mean, what if it's a gig you don't want to do? - That's true. - It depends who we ask here. But like Donnie Sins, he's on time. - Yeah, I think you're romanticizing your streamer. (laughing) - I think Johnnie Sins shows up a little bit late. - He's five to 10 minutes late. He has a coffee, slips his sialis in that coffee. - Sorry, I'm late, promise I'm rock right now. I'm ready to go. - Dude, walking through the parking lot in Chad's worth or whatever, rock. (laughing) - Because you have porn to do. - Being a nati porn actor? - I don't know. - I don't use sialis shit. - Dude, I feel like that'd be crazy hard to do. - I'm nati. - Dude, those guys fuck for like so long. It's crazy. - Do you guys know what catching print? - Catching print? - Catching print? - I'd love to learn. - I don't think I'm-- [BLANK_AUDIO]
- I'm saying no, like the premier penis on this one, man. - I am saying no weird talking about this. - Yeah, why am I saying it? - You know so many, they're so much shit you don't know. That what you know here is true. - You know so much about fucking and sucking and fucking. - He's putting up, and I think this is a good thing, a lot of gay cred right now. Because what I learned from hanging out with Austin show for one day, I don't really have enough gay friends. There's a whole culture I am just don't understand. - I can't say that, huh? - Yeah, yeah, I'm mad at me. - No, I'm a cigarette. - Where do I think he would? - Yeah, he might not. - Anyway, before we go, what is catching print? - Catching print? It's, it's, you know. - New Chris Hansen show. - Cop. (laughing) - Sit over there. - Look good. - Seeing the outline, like getting to see a large penis or or catching, catching the large penis through the print of the fabric or jeans that the person was talking about print all the time. Catching, catching print. - Was it catching? - I was just noticing someone's print. - It's observing it in a lot of oil. - You kind of made it sound like a more. - Yeah, I thought it was like, - And then it's like a polka dex. - Six and a half. That is a monster cop. - Micro. - It's a printer. - Well, you know, like I might be looking at pictures of John Ham, who is notably has a large penis. - And you're catching his print. - And I'm catching print. - I see. - Goddamn. - You're a print catcher. - Well, that one wasn't as fun as the other one sniffing app. Hey, did that guy respond to us? - Wait, how about a 3D printer? - That's when it's like bulging out, like towards you. - Catching print. - And you print a 3D printer. - And you print it. - And you print the. - And that's a 3D printer. - You see how the print seems like. - And they're gonna know from Zipper. - From what? - Dipper did you reply? - Yep. - Oh, Dan. - No, no, no, no. - I'm glad we can. - It's gonna represent me the plight of being an old gay man on the show. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, free HIV test. - So we got like four tests. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - You guys are really excited about that. - He said, sup, wanna get your whole eaten until your leg shake. Get into this gay project and find a guy who will do it with no shame. - I am. - And then message removed. - 'Cause it was a link for a scam, bro. I'm telling you, all these are bots. I've made, but yes, I want it. - Did you spend a lot of time hurting people make a cow's hair? - Damn, 23 hundred miles away. - You've heard about people making a cow's hair sniffies? - All right, guys, well, no, it was 20 minutes ago. - Let's just get out of here. - Yeah, Archie, good luck blurring all of this. - Sorry, Archie. - It's funny that we're like, go to a different part of the map. Like, we could show any of that. - Yeah, I thought that was something like that. I didn't say anything. (laughing) - Guys, we'll see you in the ultra, actually, the normal bonus episode, which is coming up right now if you're a patron. - I've seen the fucking bonus episode. I want there, there won't be any porn there. - There'll be no porn to catch. - Fuck how we kind of felt like it was a premium. - We're trying to do it. - I also felt it. - We're adding a little bit of porn to the Primo. - Yep. - And we'll see you there.
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