Ep. 247 - He Broke it AGAIN..

No, we're not recycling this Start with a song I feel like your song should have more black keys in it Oh You keep making this joke You love stealing my joke And cause he had What about Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow It's like a chief keeper Fuck you think bro I'll up Glock anywhere Fuck you think bro My shoe is from Shanghai Watch out His bullets sound crazy Chinese My shoe is a Schweiger Fuck you Every bullet has Schweiger or Manu Fuck you My shoe is Canto Mies I really had to cram that in there Canto Mies That's the luggage Shirts and jeans popping out I like the hat though The hat feels powerful You know it's We sold it You sold this Yes That's not Nothing wrong with that Wait you're sending that exact one out That exact one How much did you sell it for It was raffled off It raised Wait like we Maybe Oh you sold this one 1500 to 2000 I thought you meant like this exact model of hat you're making as merch That's the one right there Wow You have to send that hat away So if I rub it on my nuts Whoever wears it has to wear my nuts now Alright If you put it upside down it's like a bowl It's this exact one It's that exact one So if I like And just to be clear Let's poop it in the hat It was won by I got nothing It was won by a From raffle From someone who probably hates you It's actually It's an instant Carmel He was Dude earlier he was saying It's the chair It's not me It's the chair The chair is old You deserve that That's so funny Oh my god What are you going to do the rest of the episode Oh my god dude You fucked up What are you going to do You're a fucking joke Archie had a gun in my hand Oh we have an extra one Like zippers got you bro I need an extra chair man I'm going to crawl Wow This is embarrassing Don't crawl with your gun Dude you Don't crawl with your gun Like a little He looks He looks like he got put through it Yeah For those For those It's like Wrestlemania through it It really broke off If you're listening at home Nick's chair has just broken underneath him This must It is in maybe four pieces I'm actually I'm actually surprised I don't know if we can fix it this time I actually Well we need to reinforce it I think we've done these like Shitty weld jobs We need to like Like titanium braces I can get Michael in here He'll fix it bro You think he's sad Michael would make it So that it cut Nick's balls off Which would be a good thing This must not be weird for you right Aiden Probably happens every week On Lemonade Stand Dude They're just They have like Like 60 chairs Just waiting Perry's just back there With two chairs And he just hears the noise He goes Coming Dude Never mind Do you guys remember the story About the It feels wrong The story about the smasher That That this happened to Who broke a chair Yeah I'll say it It's an unnamed smash player Say it for me Unnamed melee player Say it for me I think So back in the day Back in the day It was a SoCal local And A smash player sits down on this chair He's a very heavy set man And it just shatters underneath him Tough Happens Shatters like dropping a jade pendant Happens bro Yeah It happens So Dave Kira Kim He goes No big deal bro Let me get you another chair Brings him the next chair He sits down Shatters it I do know this story In a row Dude Oh this is at Coliseum It wasn't there at Coliseum It was old school shit Oh Old school shit Just having like five Almost broken chairs So that when one breaks The zipper goes here And they just They keep breaking Yeah This is what's happening To Atrioc on Lemonade Stand On Lemonade Stand It is this Except it's a Herman Miller every time 1500 down the drain We bring out a new 1500 dollar Herman Miller It's not 1500 Cause they're going They're going to Struggling businesses And they're haggling them I broke a third chair Oh my god bro Get over You're fat You're fat You're fucking huge You're huge You eat chocolate all day We see you eat chocolate Chocolate for breakfast Did you eat chocolate all day? Breakfast yeah You're back on shiggies Breakfast You were a no shiggy gal And then I came with a cookie And you got sick from Chipotle last week You sucked that cookie up Like a Like the vacuum From Brave Little Toast It's embarrassing Aiden's off Not on my side What happened to him? It is embarrassing Take the blanket off You've You've turned the dark side on me I'm That's so funny You're already off I took a picture of it And then uploaded What happened to this There was four different failure points Which is funny Imagine if Beatles came out of it Cool It is I'm going to go get it welded again Do you like that chair? I love it That chair is ass It's so No since we welded it The first time It got so uncomfortable Because what they did was Like the The plastic thing The back ones are tight Because that's where they fixed it Yeah And the front ones had the give That the chair is supposed to have So it's like two levels of sitting now I've just dealt with it I like the chair so much Because you love this chair You love this chair You like that I love that chair You have the best chair Yeah Oh really Really For me I like your chair the most Really You have the most comfy chair But I A rocking I'd never seen one of those Vintage Until I saw his It's very nice I won't lie It's very cool I straight up have the best chair And it all happened dead ass We We walked We climbed up to the set That first day That fateful day In June or whatever 2021 It's the first episode Of the Yard Podcast And Nick looked at me He's like That seat's for you Yeah I knew it I knew it I saw it And I said That's the slime seat And the thing is I would have taken it No matter what anybody said It's funny that He did a nice thing And you're not You're not giving him The nice thing It's funny You brought me a cookie To use it against me Five minutes later But you gobbled it up It was just straight down I ate it like a normal I was like one bite at a time It probably took six minutes One bite at a time And it was one bite Yeah Well One bite at a time You ate it You started sobbing It was crazy I couldn't cry I'm so overwhelmed I can't stop You broke your chair Because I'm fucking addicted Since when you've been Back on Shuggie I just ate a cookie What is the evidence I heard you ate chocolate today Is that a lie He's just saying that For breakfast No you ate chocolate For breakfast He just said that I can say things It doesn't matter anymore You gobble up that cookie You're gonna look us in the eye And tell us you got back on Shuggie I didn't eat for the first time Until like 5pm You need to look your babushka Babushka in the eye And say you're not Eating a little sugar Here and there now Where's my gun Zipper can you look up chocolate Don't point that at your grandma Babushka I'm sorry Can you look up chocolate cock I wanna see if it's like An Easter You know like the Easter chocolate Do they have chocolate cock Yeah Naughty gag gifts Naughty gag gift But it's chocolate It's called dick at your door Wait the real Dicksbymail.com Not to be confused With dicksbymail The real dicksbymail.com This ain't no middle of the mall Dicks.com That's a great Yeah yeah yeah Click click click click Click click click Eat a dick Oh this is so millennial Wait wait wait This is like what Katy Perry would Fucking sell Yeah it is exactly 20 bucks is a steal for that It's been made already Is it What is that part Why is that What Orange man Sorry in what universe Do you think 20 dollars Is a steal 20 dollars for a For a cock For a big veiny chocolate With cock In the box That I lick The box looks like It's made with That I slowly ate And in our factory We have man made veins The box has pubes Wow that's true Straight up I'm not fucking with you On dear id That's about the size And shape of my meat That's like straight up Just a one to one And you got little chocolate I just lost my appetite I think I think they took my meat Somehow Maybe it was when I was In the hospital They took a mold of it Yeah they took your penis If you look too long At her photo It takes your It takes all of your measurements And your soul And it turns into chocolate You getting knocked out Of the hospital And them taking a mold Like your kidney Getting stolen Boxed Wait what is this site Just gag candy Yes gag penis And cock Candy Dude this girl You know she was telling All her friends Look what gig I had Look what gig I had this week It's going up on the site Look at this gig Oh this is bachelorette vibes Oh yeah And then they're all You know how they're eating The penis I earned points I went on fear and It has a girl on it Okay Did they let her Talk this time Barely Barely It's crazy Yeah She tries God honest She tries hard She can You're trying to start Talking on the show And you're like No No no no no No no no no No stop No How was it over there I taught them how to Podcast a little bit You know I did some role play I came I was driving there And I'm like You know what Let me come with something So I created a situation Where a song was cut Scissoring a gorilla At the zoo Yeah And I was like Let's all role play And I'm like You guys should just Do this all the time Cutie's funny She Cutie will do this thing Where she will She does this outside Of podcast But she'll She'll come to you And be like Oh my god Last night Oh my god I was so scared I slammed my Head into a cement wall Oh my god It was so terrible What do you want to Order by the way And you're like What do you want me To say to that That doesn't sound Like her Do you want me to say What do you want me to say Chipotle Yeah And you know what Lud will do back Chipotle sounds fine I'm so confused Every time It's what I have to be She throws those Curveballs at me And every time I have a good eye I don't swing Good eye Yeah I have a good eye I take it I take it And I'm like All one Cause I'm like I know that's going outside. I got to walk every time. I got mad at her this weekend. What happened? I don't usually get mad. I wasn't actually mad. Why are you mad at her? Because there was like, Swift's like, he's on the IR a bit right now. Yeah. He's in trouble. Well, one of his paws doesn't work as good as the others. So the doc's like, he can't walk like a lot in a day. He should be still. But Cutie's very busy. She had Master Baker. So I'm watching him all weekend. Oh yeah. He's howling. He's howling. He's bringing me to my tattered edge. I literally had the thought eight times. I was like, I get why they shake babies. I get why they shake babies. Like I totally get it. Sure. Right. And then I was like, okay, job's done. I did it. And then I'm like, when you're coming back, she's like, ooh, I forgot to tell you, I have fear ran tonight. And I'm like, that's fine. One more day in paradise. That's no worries. You need one more day. You're the husband. Do it. I'll do a few more hours. And then, and the next day rolls around and I'm like, I'm like, okay, oh, just when you come back, she's like, oh, I got wine about it tonight. I'm like two nights in a row. That's she's straight up on some I heart radio shit. That's unlikely. And then we're in bed last night and she's like, oh, by the way, I fear and tomorrow morning. I'm like, how, how has this happened three days in a row? How has this happened? No, I checked. We don't have school tomorrow. And the only reason I'm mad is because I, I think the howling got to me and I blew like four beautiful slay the spider runs in my head. In a row to the howling. They're getting involved. They're getting, no, I believe you. I'm genuinely like, I'm genuinely just fucking clicking a move cause I'm like, I'm like inting. Cause I got, I'm like, my brain is too, it's, it's combusted. He's hitting the brown note of my thoughts. Is there like a lozenge you can give him? Maybe you give a dude. Okay. I gave him a full Zen. Nothing. I have an idea. We get like a cutie cardboard cutout and we like douse it in her perfume and we just like put it in the corner of the house and he can go worship it. Oh, this is, this is part of what's tilting me is that I had to stream. So I'm streaming. It's supposed to howling and people are coming to my chat with literally that suggestion. It's a good idea. It's not bro. Have you tried it? It's not. I have tried giving her things that are giving him things that smell like her. You tried doing something that's not, maybe it's just blind. That might work. It's like he is blind. He's a little, no, he's deaf. He's not blind. He's both. He's not blind. If you look at his eyes, his eyes don't look like white gumballs yet. They're close. Oh, they're close, bro. Do my buddies before, before my, my dog passed away, my buddies just come to my house and they'd pet my dog and they'd look at me and go, those eyes are gray, man. I always like, stop saying that. This is going to hurt a lot. What happens? They'd be like, Oh wow, she's getting old. It's funny though. Cause Swift, even though he doesn't, he likes me second most on earth. He fucking hates me. He only will shit when I'm taking care of him. So I'll become the whisper and whatever. Cause even outside, yeah. If it's been like two days and he hasn't shit, cuties like, ah, can you take him? You don't poop for her. Well, yeah, he doesn't want to do it in front of girls. He doesn't want to make his sink. I don't poop, but for me, I go, show me, show me with that, but for Papa, he drops, he drops on the stinkers. What if we dress? What comes out of his body is disgusting. Awesome. Hear me out. We dress up Aiden like cutie. Yep. We got to sell it. You guys have raw sex. Right in the living room. Okay. Swift has to loud. You guys have loud. Not while I'm on top. Well, we'd have to get, we have to get information. We have to ask the kid for character studies. First I had to, I had to recreate bar for bar how we have sex. Yes. Then I do with Aiden, but he has a wig and her perfume on. Yes. And then I leave Aiden. Are we on the cloud couch? Aiden needs to spend a day as cutie before I think he needs to get, I need to get a new fear and as cutie where he says nothing. It'll be just like doing. And then I finish on your tongue. I throw a towel at you and I go spend the night. I'm going to sneak out and we see if that works. And Aiden can take over from me. Okay. Okay. And then Swift, no more howling. I feel like, I feel like this, it leaves me potentially mistreated. Let me tell you right now, you're actually safe. I tried it with Christian. It didn't work. Ah, yeah. Christian's a good ass friend for doing that. He's a homie bro. Christian's a good ass friend for letting you ball him like that. We're already doing it. And he's like, what if we put on the wig? And I was like, fuck. Christian's funny too. Cause like you'd be fucking him in the ass. He'd be like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I guess I'll put on a wig. Yeah. I guess I'm getting fucked in the ass today. Yeah. He's a big chiller. Yeah. Let's fucking me in the ass today. Christian would, you know, it's whatever. He would say some mean shit. Like I, I told him to go deeper. He had nothing. Yeah. That's what he would say. He'd be like, I'll be a Christian. How was it fucking low with you? He'd be like, it's all right. I don't even know if I felt it. I said deeper. He didn't have any more dick. Oh man. I love that guy. I, I actually, I was working out earlier today cause we're doing this late and I, I had the fifties and I threw him away cause you do your last rep. You fucking throw him away. And I was like, I'll just leave that cause fuck this place. Right. But then I was like, Christian uses the gym. I respect Christian. Yeah. And he's our, he's our top shot. And he's our top shot. So I had to put it away. I'm the top shot. No, Christian's our top shot. I'm the top shot. Dude, if, if someone, if I'm okay, I'm not going to lie. These days, a burglar comes into the warehouse and I'm shrieking and hiding behind someone. I think it's Christian. I think I'm being Christian, bro. Probably Christian. He's big. It's one of the downfalls of losing weight is I've lost the fucking strong. Yeah. The strong vibes. He also, he gets strong so fast. You've always been strong. At one point he was weak. It's impressive what his transformation was, but when we met you, you were already kind of exactly the same as what you are now. Like you were already the jock of the group. And now, and now you're a figment of what you were in the past. I'm one bulking. So I'm getting back there. I'm back to benching. You want to eat chocolate later? I, I'm just massaging your gun. You want to eat chocolate? Fucking chocolate. So yes, dry firing in your dry fire in your dick. You want to eat chocolate with me later? Yes. Yes. I was, I was, I was, I was like Christian and Michael. They were talking cause Michael's at the warehouse and they're both, they both have been skinny boys their whole life, but they're both bulking. Yeah. Michael's bulking. Michael's bulking. Michael keeps saying, I'm going to hit one 90 before you. Well, Michael, Michael was pretty fit during the boxing arc, but he's trying to gain what he wants to hit. One 90 is what he says. Michael one 90. It's not about one 94. I'm like, you're not going to be, why does he want to hit one? No, it's the number. He looks like Mario and super Mario when he eats the P and he goes, you can fly around. It's just, he's not tall enough. He wants to hit, but they're talking about, you know, the skinny boy, like dream of getting big. Can he boy click? Cause they both can't eat a lot. Reverse twink death. And they, and they both realize they had the same secret, strat. And so Michael goes, you want to hear my strat? And they're talking about, he's like, so, you know, like on the back of a protein powder, it says the calories. And then Christian gets here before mug can even finish. He's like, yeah, you put two scoops. Michael's like, yes, Socrates and Aristotle. Their whole strategy is putting two scoops of protein powder in your smoothie. Can't you just milkshake it? Like the movies. Like when, like, you know, when like Mac from sunny, it's really big. He's like, yeah, I did the ice cream. I got, I got big. Yeah. This is that. It's not like a secret. They just came to the conclusion. If I was really trying to fucking get crazy, I'm not going to be like, I should get more protein powder. I would just eat. Protein powder gives you the illusion that you're doing something good to your body. It's better macros. Cause you want like, they're trying to hit a gram of protein per body weight or on Christian's case, more than he wants more than body weight 0.1 to 1.2 X grams. That's why he's so big. And if Christian's also funny guy, cause he's very set in his ways, but I'll tell him something. He'll reject it. And the next day he'll be like, ah, yeah. So his first thing he was like, yeah, I eat a pint of ice cream every night. And I was like, there's some drawbacks to that. Sorry. Right. Sorry. So Christian's like, you just say that Christian, this is the thing that Christian does. You give Christian advice. He goes, no, I don't want to do that. And then very shortly after it comes to the same day later, he'll be like, you know what? Yeah. I looked up ice cream. It turns out a pint a day is bad. I wonder where he, you guys are going to the same neighborhood. Yeah. It's a Christian thing. Straight up. I didn't think, I don't think Christian could read before he got here. I think he learned in Los Angeles, California. I love the guy. I'm just being, he was better at school than I was. I, okay. He got into UNH. I didn't. UNH? University of New Hampshire. And then ASU had to fucking scrape you up off the floor. Uh, yeah. I thought it was Harvard of the Southwest. It was Harvard of the Southwest. You know who went there? Who's that? Uh, my boy, Johnny. Who's that? Somali? Really? Johnny Somali. Johnny Somali went to ASU. Congratulations. He graduated with a higher GPA than you. And now he's in a labor camp. Yeah. Now he's holding a plank over his head for six hours. So he's getting strong and he's smart. Wow. I'm jealous. He graduated magna cum laude. You're fucking with me. How loud he does it. That guy's a fucking criminal. Finance bro. Dr. Disrespect went to my college. Really? He went to Pomona? Oh yeah, you've said this before. Go Broncos. Go Doc. Yeah. Go Doc. Go Doc. Go Johnny Somali. And all women should what? It is good to be back. It is good to be back on the yard. It is fucking good. What have you guys been fucking up to? What's the, what's the shining light in your life right now? How about, shut up. How about you tell us why you were gone? Chipotle. Describe it. Yeah. It was, it was. Describe it like crazy. I would get woken up at about 6am. It's like, it's like dawn is just, the sun has just come out and I'm like, oh, it's like a sharp pain in my stomach. And I know the pain of having to poop. Like I've had the pain before, like when it builds up after a while and I hadn't gone in a while, but it was like, it was like really, really, really tight and bad. So I go, I sit on the toilet and nothing's coming out and I'm just sitting there and I'm straining. And if it's, sorry, DMI, it's a little gross, but a solid chunk, comes out, and then everything else on top of it is liquid. Don't you. Hold on. It's like a Chinese building. Don't you feel like that's how it works? Hold on. Explain to me. Because they built the first three floors, then they just stopped, so it's all scaffolding above that. It was all bamboo after the first solid part. Well, that's. You gotta. You're at your limit, bro. Yeah, and also a panda and a hard hat made it. Give me the hat. Give me the hat. What are we doing? You lose the hat for that one. I lose that. I got you, everyone in China. It was just excruciating diarrhea. It was only a day, though. The next day, I was totally fine. You think it's Chipotle? It's not like they have a crazy history of that. Did you get the steak? Did you get the steak real? I got double steak. It's always the steak. I got double steak. The first time I heard about food poisoning in general was this grilled sub-breeder from Taco Bell with steak. Pause. Was their lettuce not also a culprit of E. coli? Oh my god, shut the fuck up. The steak is. The steak is it. It's crazy to lose the lettuce, though. It's crazy, and then it goes in your body, and it creates a cork in your ass that liquid floods behind, and it must release. It must go somewhere. And it's tough to pop the cork. And then you hit the fucking ecstasy of the bidet. Yeah. Oh my god. Just the ecstasy of a level 5 spray after you've gone to war. I couldn't even imagine going back. Zipper, I sent you a link to a restaurant, and I'd like you to open the link to that restaurant. I went to this place, was Zeke the other night, and it was. It's funny, because I can't believe that they went with this logo. This place called Heavy Handed. Can you control zoom in on that logo? Wow. Yeah, I get it. I don't. Girl down in. What? Just find the logo. That's crazy. I wouldn't let you do it. Maybe. Oh, there it is. What do you think of that? Hmm. I'll give you a hint. Maybe two Tori Gates? Two authentically Japanese. Like, the numbers 8 and 8 next to each other mean, like, a similar thing. Yeah. No, I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. Oh, so everything has to do with Hitler now. Everything. Can we not have a nice burger joint? It's on their shirts. Yeah. It's on outside. A night out with the boys. Some HH. It's like In-N-Out, except under the cup. It's not John 316. It's just 1488. You're like, whoa. It's actual German Goebbels quotes. Interesting. Was it good? It was great. It was great food. I mean, you know. A lot of German beer here. I couldn't believe it. We were just sitting there and that logo is gigantic, just painted on the wall without. The name of the place is heavy-handed. And it just says HH and I'm like, damn, they gotta change that shit. Claude is, like, kicking these places out, like, in LA. Like, these places. There's so many places like this in LA. Like, Smash Burger with the fucking fries that look like that and the fucking ice cream they sell. There are too many Smash Burger places. And they all sell fucking ice cream. What's up with the burger milkshake thing? I think it's like a Fat Boy thing. It's an American diner experience. What are you talking about? None of them do, like, the diner vibe. None of them are doing the diner vibe. They're following the diner menu. Yeah, I think that's part of being the diner, right? Is you serve the food that's there. Johnny Rockets type of shit. I think it's like if you're going for a Smash Burger, you're in your Fat Boy moment and you'll splurge. They got the. They had the ice cream where it's, like, it's got a hard shell on the outside. Yummy. Everything there was, like, damn. Again, HH knows how to whip it up. Yeah. Hey, salute to HH for the excellent. For the excellent food, bro. Why not salute? Your heart goes out to him? Yeah. More than my heart. My wallet does. No, yeah. It was crazy. I had this idea. I talked about this on the podcast where I showed them how to podcast and I was doing combos, but what if we get together as a friend group and. And start RPGing Waymo's across the nation? Oh, I heard role-playing game. You're saying, like, a Rocky Launcher. No, no, no. We literally were a demolition squad. Yeah, we start blowing up Waymo's. Imagine Aiden shoot it. He's got the helmet on. I load it in the back. I tap him on the head. And, like, we're, like, four football fields away. Like, there's, like, kind of a moment. You wait before it hits. Because you know what? Babushka's a good shot. You know Waymo's. Like, this is, like, such a California thing. We can stop them from spreading, is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. We can cut the virus at the source. Dude, I heard about when it was the ICE protests a couple months ago. People were setting them on fire, but it was funny because they were ordering the Waymo's to where they. To their death. To their death. And the Waymo's would just arrive like cattle to be, like, sacrificed. Like, when they would draw. They would draw his son to the mountain. They drew giant pentagrams around the Waymo's and they made it park right in the pentagram. Mm-hmm. And then. Dude, wow. I did not realize burning a car. Dude, they're just bloodstains on the ground. It looks like what your hand looks like when you've just slapped a mosquito. Yeah. Like, there's nothing left. Oh, my God. Fire's awesome. I'm saying, bro, we don't need protests to do this. We can just do it on our own volition. Dude, we should have. You know that day that everyone tried to storm Area 51? There was, like, a Facebook group. Yeah. We should call all the Waymo's there one day. Just, like, $4,000 rides. Well, no. Zeke was telling me, because he was the one who told me about this, because I pitched it to him, too. I'm really trying to make this happen. And he said, I can't order Waymo's in my area because of this. They stopped doing it. What? And I'm like, that's hilarious. You gotta break a few eggs. You know what I mean? You gotta break some damn eggs. You gotta break a few fucking eggs. But I think it's a good idea. I want to light a car on fire a place I shouldn't. Once. Once? Once? Yeah. Just your one time. I didn't light any car. There was no cars. Well, you were growing up. Involved in that alleged incident that involved me. When are you finally gonna face justice? Do you think you've faced justice already in your life? What's the statute of limitations? Uh, I've faced, in my life, for that? Or in general? Do you think you have suffered enough to pay for what you did, allegedly, which we don't know. In life. Have you suffered enough? Yeah. Yeah, I've suffered enough. Alright, he doesn't. He hasn't suffered enough. Yeah, I fucking did. Can you have some cheese? I say yes. I say no. You take the same answer. No, if you say no, I'll be like, ah, nice. No, I need to suffer more. Yeah, yeah. When we wear the hat, while I say it. No, I don't think, I don't think you do that. Bukui, bukui. I don't know if. Are you done being Chinese, by the way? Dude, I just finished re-watching Tip to Tip. I'm back. I watched, because the final three days, I'm so good at Chinese. You're not. You're actually, like, famously bad at Chinese. I'm so good. What do you mean you were good? What are some, like, highlight moments that you remember? The last three days, it was like, it was like a dude being like, he was like, yeah, so, fuck, you want to go to Erin High, you got to take a left, there's a split, fork in the road, highway, take a right, and then I leave, and I repeat everything he says in English. I'm like, how did I do that? Whoa. I'm fucking good at this shit. Because there's subtitles. And I was reading them. One second. Can you repeat that last part? Uh, yeah, I realize I'm just good at it, but. Right. But no. And when you met, us, and got on the boat with us in Beijing, did it, was it gone? It might be time to hang it up, man. Thank you, Jesus Christ. Might be time to hang it up. Find a different fixation, and then we'll have to deal with that. It'd be good. I'm wearing it. We went to it. Oh, you're back? It's Dodger season, bro. I had a wonderful time. It was great, no? I had a wonderful time at the baseball game. Yeah, we guys have a hot dog. Huh? You guys have a hot dog. Oh, a few, actually. Several hot dogs. What are you asking for? You weren't there. You were real close to the field. Yeah. We were super close to the field. It was just a couple boys eating meat on a Monday night at the game. Let me ask you something, Ludwig. Have you heckled an outfielder like that, or were you playing it up for the camera? I've usually only yelled positive things to, like, I mean, heckled like Andy Pah has, because he throws back the foul balls. So every time I go, Handy! Handy! Yeah, no. I'm terminal! What Ludwig did. I'm terminal. I know I look healthy, but it's bad. It's pancreatic. Well, Ludwig would, he, it was Tommy Pham, I think his name was. Tommy Pham. Tommy Pham, 38. And he looked up how old he was, like, back it up, Tommy! So, hey, bro! Back it up! And then he was like, he was like, you look good for 38, bro! And it was just crazy, and I'm like, these guys do this all the time. This is my dream, to heckle a bunch of baseballs. And Tommy's, I couldn't take it, because not in the video that we showed was when Tommy Pham turns around to the outfield and makes eye contact with the people yelling at him, and I couldn't bear it. And I'm going, like, Tommy, don't listen to him, I love the chain! I love the Cuban! I love the Cuban, Tommy! It is cool to be an outfielder, because, like, let's say you make this crazy, daring catch, and you just get to look at them all. You just get to look everyone in the eye and be like. Oh, yeah, they definitely do that shit, too. Also, I think he was about to throw it to where we were standing, one of, like, the pop flies or whatever, but then he looked at us and just tossed it elsewhere. He punished the stands. The section? Yes. Wow! You think I want a ball from Tommy? No, but little kids might. And they have to suffer the AOE of you. Dude, people were laughing. It was, like, entertaining the section. That's so cool. He went on this, like, long-winded joke about how you hit on your dad while you play catch with him as a kid, and he's making the two guys to the left of us, like, crack up. They were loving it. I don't even remember that. We were hilarious. Collectively, we were hilarious. And I was like, maybe you're for everybody, 'cause these are two 40-year-old guys just chugging. just sitting there enjoying their fucking baseball game I'm converting them I'm converting them while they sit there with their their wives and their wives' boyfriends and they all enjoy the game together and I'm saying switch over to me y'all switch over to me the thing about Burnt Peanut is you can watch it with your wife's boyfriend and it is fucking lit dude can I actually just fucking say his streams are actually fucking W of course they're W why do you think millions of people watch them every day yeah cause they're fucking awesome in W in fuck myth bro fuck myth bro why you cause he's fucking up his server cause he got beef and we had I had to fucking lowkey I had to fucking kick myth from the fucking server and you know what myth said he fucking flipped me off on camera bro myth wouldn't do that myth said myth said ban me and I said he should be banned bro the way you're acting like a kid and I'm a fucking whole ass adult and I'm a peanut wearing a fucking police outfit on stream cause someone donated for it do you know about what the fuck's his name do you know about the sheriff yeah like the fake Burnt Peanut yes you know about this guy isn't that one of the mega 64 guys no oh there's this guy that's doing it who I think has like tried to be a creator in different ways the faithful sheriff the sheriff yeah he's like a I think he's he's just a peanut like copycat he's just a one to one knockoff AI thumbnails are pretty awesome of the Burnt Peanut why am I a peanut wait I wanna see what he sounds like a genuine one to one I wanna hear him and like like so much so that you know they both started on whatever that game was Ark Raiders and then Peanut switches to Rust and this guy opens a Rust server the next day he's wearing the same bandana as Android I think 16 from DBZ I like how his VTuber oh and all his assets are AI and he has a bible strapped to him I like how it's holstered like a gun yeah that's really cool to take someone in a few seconds of his voice a lot of people across social media have been wondering why are you a peanut why are you copying the burnt peanut now that's a pause I'd rather it remain a mystery he's got the he's got the same facial structure as one of the red letter media guys I think Jay from red letter media you're basing it off his peanut VTuber you're basing it off that I'm talking about the lips and the eyes they hide peanuts at red letter media I like the who is the antichrist pop up that was good that's my stream exclamation point antichrist I need to add that one to my chat what's wrong what I have meeting to go to we'll get to your meeting you have to do this I haven't eaten you haven't eaten anything what should I do I haven't eaten it's okay it's okay put the phones down it can't be five minutes put the phones down put them down put them down how do you have four phones okay okay okay so you can't eat because you I haven't eaten can you turn the alarm off can you turn it off at least to call it's a call that one was Barack really listen not Obama it just has the same name listen if you're going into a meeting with Barack and you haven't eaten you need to figure something out luckily I have this big black edition bag right in my lap what is it this is Huel Ludwig it's Huel what is that it's a ready to drink meal for when you're sprinting through the day give it to me it's when you want to control the texture ingredients when you're home look it's got protein it's got all the nutrients you need flexible flavors you can add fruit nut butter ice if you want it cold you can do whatever you want I can't drink this and then eat food later I need a complete meal it is a complete meal you just drank the complete meal that's it but yes but it's liquid how do you feel right now fulfilled right to the brim do you feel the protein running through your body 27 essential vitamins and minerals losing through me and no artificial sweeteners either and it's gluten free which I know you care about and wasn't that quick wasn't that quick you don't have to be stressed about your meetings now you just go you know what you did you grabbed it and you go'd it's grab and go it's a complete meal you can literally grab and go I want you to call Barack right now tell him you're going to be in that meeting right now right now I want to hear his voice I'm probably going to watch TikToks and blow him off I have some extra time hey well at least you'll do it with a full stomach and a chock full of nutrients and if you guys out there want to be chock full of nutrients you can go get this limited time offer get Heal today with an exclusive offer of 15% off with code YARD15 at Heal.com slash YARD15 new customers only that's for new customers only thank you to Heal for partnering and supporting our show let's get back to the podcast let's save so much time I've saved so much time we're going to have to do something about it I've saved so much time dude I thought he was going to call the meetings and stuff I've saved so much time go to the meeting I don't need to I've saved so much time let's go back to the yard I think this should go the other way where instead of VTuber models like baseline being anime they should all be peanuts you look like a Roachie Maru I know right now yeah dude you think I don't know that you think I wasn't purged by the fucking hidden leaf you look up a Roachie Maru rice hat you know what I would watch a shit ton of Aiden if you streamed Counter Strike as like a VTuber baby and you'd have like meltdowns but you'd be a baby in a diaper like your VTuber could be standing on the desk controlling the mouse and keyboard and you'd get mad but you'd be a baby no no you'd be you you'd talk exactly like you you'd be like god damn it dude I didn't think he would fucking flank like that but you're a baby I didn't think he would do that I'd watch wow yeah that's Aiden right now I know that's accurate I know dude but don't say dumb ass shit on this show and that's on me and I hold this out you think I'm not trying to do a little Naruto thing right now that's a long tongue yeah he got crazy tongue game he got crazy tongue game that's a long whoa that's gotta be like part of the character they don't all have tongues that long in that world right Roachie Maru has the greatest story arc cause he's like the main villain he's like horrible he murders a crazy amount of people he kidnaps children and then in the sequel series Boruto he's like the old teacher like they brought him back what? yeah they brought him back it's like fucking oh my god let's go to Epstein's class it's like that vibe he ends up being like kind of a bean lister villain in the OG series right? yeah yeah but like he still like did horrible heinous things yeah but like murdering a handful of people it's like everybody in the fucking world has murdered as many people as in Roachie Maru by the end he kidnapped a child like he lured a child he bit a child sucked his blood yeah made him a demon and then lured him away from his body everything you're describing President Barack Obama did yeah so so what then? and when he's at a bar and he's like in a basketball game we stand and clap and that's a good fucking point you know what I'm saying you want me to show you some awesome China shit? all these double standards yeah can you look up Q-I-A-O-D-A-N shoes U-I-A-O the way you pronounce that in China is okay Chowden which is the same way you pronounced Jordan oh it's a knockoff Michael Jordan brand that they made in China yeah he does look like shittier in the sense of a silhouette and they use the same color palette it is just a a direct knockoff it's so the first one is just a pair of Jordans but that's a pair of Jordans it's a guy it's a guy clearly not jumping as far I yeah yeah right yeah smaller hops and then in Chinese it just goes down he's trying that image is it literally Michael Jordan? uh probably yeah yeah click on that? yeah they probably did it that looks like the I mean that pose is maybe somewhat common but that looks like it's it I think what I learned about your escapades and tip-to-tip Ludwig is that if you're a man if you're a country if you're a superpower with one billion people you can just do what you want it doesn't matter what the fuck are they gonna do in the United States about Chowdhury? yeah bitch Google don't work here nothing what the hell are you gonna do? like and I think I didn't recognize the scale of the country the dynasty of China yeah they got a big ass scale over there yeah that was the biggest thing like when I got back when I got there and I like looked at my phone was basically a brick and I was like oh awesome like I can't use Google dude Ludwig would walk in with fucking these things bro he'd walk in with these and he'd not say anything but he'd do this yeah and he'd be like can y'all pretend for a second that that's really not Aiden who walks in with his Huawei laptop it's funny it's the same amount of performantism yeah he's got the earbuds too oh he's got the earbuds too you got the Huawei earbuds? yeah I support local Chinese businesses can you actually bring them in? can you look at them? I wanna see you wear them yeah come on you guys are gonna you're gonna get a kick out of this I think you're gonna do they look different? they do I uh like they're like noticeable yeah god you're so sinister please don't fire us we gotta bring we gotta put running like that mainstream Naruto running? yeah like that should be in the Olympics how would you do that? because people would always wanna beat those people up like an Olympic category I can tell you the reason why it's not a thing anymore can you look up series graph Boruto? it's a really simple fucking answer bro I love the type of shit you know it I mean bro series graph Boruto? yep uh what is Boruto? this is the sequel series to Naruto and as you can see there's a lot of red and the end it it's recent it's still going that's a terrible run yeah you hate to have uh 50 episodes of your anime be bad yeah so anyway this is why it doesn't have the same cultural stay that it used to have are you saying that the current Naruto materialism isn't very loved the current Naruto material is basically consumed through cut up YouTube highlights of the characters you liked from the old series dude look how tall he looks when he does that you do look you look taller you look crazy you look like Slenderman intimidating bro that is crazy nah that makes you look way less intimidating yeah you look like you're just coughing alright put the earbuds in and show them I think they're on right now bro they're in right now alright let's check it out reveal show me shut up take off the shawl and show me your hallway I can't take it off when men from other families are around. Yeah let's go for a different group Yeah let's go for every group For audio listeners He looks insane He's wearing like a black blanket Over his whole body Oh my god Dude that's the shit Alyssa Liu has on her teeth That's crazy They do look like fake earrings you'd give a child They look like earrings that's the thing They look like fake earrings you'd give a child That's so unbelievable And you use them? I've been using them a ton You look like you listen to Korn You're right it is more him I think with shoes particularly you do this For me bro I actually genuinely don't buy shit I don't buy a lot of shit Yes you do You straight up do buy shit Let's fucking try to pull one out The Dodgers hoodie In a larger size that you didn't get Oh the Hello Kitty hoodie? I did buy that That you haggled for You shook People down It's Hello Kitty and it's the whole reason I wanted to fucking go Cause you get free Hello Kitty hoodie It's honestly why I was convinced to go to I've knocked it over like five times Because it was Hello Kitty night Yeah cause you get a free hoodie Look at the Dodgers Hello Kitty It's got Hello Kitty and Hello Kitty is a baseball player And it has a little bow on the hood I mean that's awesome And so we get to the stadium an hour early And then we get there and there's a person yelling No more hoodies walk on through But there's one section Where it's like primo seats And they have fucking boxes There's literally boxes They don't know what to do with them I'm like can I go through here? And he looks at my ticket and he's like nope Go through general entrance And so I go around through the general entrance And then I try to go through the back side She's like no no no you can't do that And so then I start just flagging down every person who walks through And I'll be like be real do you like Hello Kitty? Yeah It was a quiz Yeah this has the bow on it The bow is embroidered the rest is screen printed It's honestly a shitty hoodie It is shitty it's made of such shit quality That's some red bubble I spent a hundred dollars cash Damn They don't even resell that much Well these are knockoffs I gave it to my No there was an eBay one You know it's a knockoff too It is? Well unless it's in the package Why are you so sure? Cause this website is Oh that's Yeah yeah this is a hundred dollars Unless it's in the package I don't buy it 5XL? It also doesn't have the bow on it Yeah this shit's easy You automate You ask The bow is frisky You ask Claude to make this And he will put all this shit together I remember that shit started popping off There are like 50 rips Of the Ludwig chili oil shirt going around right now That I think is the way that shirt's meant to be purchased Dude yeah Yeah that's fair So the The shirt we made We went through a few iterations of it right? Oh yeah And there's the There is the Can't stack all this up on one episode We can't stack it all up on one episode You can't have the hat You can't have the fucking black keys gun Let me get the hat for this Let me get the hat for this while you talk about it Please And I'm just gonna shake my head no Like I disagree with what he's talking about Archie can you black bar me out? I'm not a black barman I'm not a part of this This shirt Okay What's the What's the brand of chili oil called? Lao Gong Ma? Lao Gong Ma I shouldn't have asked Ludwig Thank you The first pass of this shirt We were like Yeah we'll put Fat Ludwig As a parody of the chili oil I was really against it That was my idea by the way Jason The designer The designer of the merchandise Who is Chinese Who has his Chinese mother Helping with the copy And the designs of the shirt Of the merchandise Comes back With a Ludwig Full on Asian face Parody Of the Of the merch It was like that old Twitter guy Who would make you black or Asian He's not old He's still around The lone predator Yeah Is well alive I'm not that tapped in But it was like that happened to me But not one half of it If a couple If like two or three less people In the office Didn't say something I think that shirt would have went through And Jason I don't think so Dude I would It was there Hold on It was first being discussed And I was like It felt like I was 1v5 Really It was crazy It was the first thing I saw I was like no I was like guys No I love it It is awesome But it will not go over well It was funny Because Jason came back And he's like He's like this is amazing You guys need to do this And you're like Jason Please put yourself In someone else's shoes For a second And then we showed And then we showed it To maybe I remember I would show it to people Who would come visit the office This is not the original You know what I said I said I said The Asians are not going to be The ones who are mad That's right It's going to be the white guys Who are mad That's the ones you need to worry about The white people get real haughty They come in troves Jason just because you like it Doesn't mean we can do it And then And then enough people came through I was like We have to change it We just need to make it Fat Ludwig But then what happened is Jason loved this version so much And he snaps a photo of it On And puts it At the end of his slides Oh yeah For the drop on Instagram Stupid fucking Jason And then the last panel Is this version of the shirt That we cut Is that how it got out? Yeah And then somebody pulled it From Jason's Instagram And put it on Ludwig's subreddit So it leaked And I was like Who leaked this? This isn't even shot In our warehouse I don't understand Where this came from I immediately thought Somehow Nick Yingling did this No I That's what I thought And we were In the office Pointing at each other Like Spider-Man Like fucking Who Who gave this to the press? And it was Dexter has someone Inside Mogul Moves And it was Jason The entire time Do you have it? Pull it Send it to Zip It's on I can't find his Instagram Right now I think I think Is it I am Jason pun Instagram? Uh oh A thousand new followers Just hit the timeline Jason's a good guy He's a great guy Just give him a follow You gotta Him and Sam Allman He came through On the shirts He came through On the shirts Sam Allman's gonna come through With Oh my god Dude In that hat It's so funny That you said that On the China episode Which Again The lovely Billy Billy viewers Just kinda passed over And then someone Threw a Molotov At his house Someone It wasn't you You're fucking You can't get your shit together To do anything That's not fucking Sitting there reacting Listening to the howling dog Right? I didn't go to Miami bro Really? I just went Tch tch Actually What I did And then I put the butt to it You put the tip You put Fucking No I didn't Fucking Molotov his house But it's It's hilarious That it happened Yeah it's a tragedy It's a pretty cool thing To do though Not like Where he threw it But just like Throwing a Molotov It's It's Honestly a dream I think it's funny Because there was that There's that comment Throughout on the episode Where you're arguing With the Billy Billy tourist And he's And he And you're like Ludwig literally Threatened Sam Altman At the beginning Of this episode And then the person Immediately said Yeah but that's not A real thing That has happened yet It's the same week That For context For the listeners That's how I If I didn't need Any more conversation Or sorry Confirmation That you were about it When you You arguing with someone Who you have to Physically press The translate Google option On YouTube It's just a button To like See what they say Well let's not pretend Five years ago You wouldn't have gone To like a translate website It's just like To even argue With someone who's typing Like fully in Chinese And then replying back To them Like you love this shit I just hate Feeling misrepresented I don't care If you're Chinese Part of me Was going through this And realizing That you both Are having this Like beautiful Kind of nuanced Conversation About the media That's in front of you both In two completely Different languages That you can immediately Translate with the power Of this button And that was That's kind of nice It's different Than it used to be It's like that couldn't happen And it's accurate It's more accurate Than ever The amount of people Who watched that episode And maybe you guys Already talked about this But in thought Ludwig was a guest Yeah we talked about that It was hilarious It's so funny Unbelievable Like I honestly If I I wish I could have 20% of people Who see the show Always think that I felt like a guest So I could just Fuck up Ludwig So I could just read the comments Every episode Talking to you guys I felt like a guest In my own show They were talking over you Did you really? Cause I couldn't even Get a thought out And I felt like I was Why else? Do you like Slay the Spar? Yeah actually I have a I have an idea That I wanted to Hit me hard Hit me hard and moan When you do it Did you guys see The new Mr. Beast video? No Obviously I heard everyone Got fucking I thought everyone Had fucking beef with him For it I got beef with him now Cause he like What happened? Cause like Have you not heard about this? I haven't So the new video Is fucking insane What is it bro? It's a streamer one? It's no Oh it's where he starves Those people in the grocery store? Kind of Not really The opposite The premise Yeah it's a grocery store So there's a lot of food And they're starving It's the one where It's the exact opposite It's a grocery store They surprise them In the grocery store He like He like goes to this Skinny of his He goes to this Fucking grocery store And it's just It's a fake grocery So he bought it He stocked it And he said Half off all items And he duped Regularly Regular townspeople To go to it Cause they're like Half off I'll go Yeah And so there's like A hundred people in here And then he fucking walks And he goes I'm fucking Mr. Beast I'm gonna give the last person To leave this place 250k And then like 70 people are like I'm good I'll leave And they get free groceries But then 30 people Stick it out And it's And it gets ugly Sure It gets ugly Because you know Basically everyone's Strat to get everyone else out Cause they all want A quarter meal Is to make Their own lives miserable in hell by like popping the fucking sleeping sleeping bag they're on or honestly the drums recession indicator 250 what are we doing it's low you're mr beast but then but then video ends and there's four people who are basically like we're boys we're locked we're not fucking leaving mr beast is like you have to fucking put our funerals here yes we are not going to bury us yes you have a set of molotov to all of us and so the end this is what we're fucking great the end is he comes back and he's like fine then i got a million dollar fucking thing if you guys wait a week week passes and he comes back and he's like i'll give you each 250k if you stay in here while i restock the entire grocery store and you can only leave once you've eaten it all bear in mind bro they were already in there for 67 days oh my fucking god and then it restarts to a new challenge that they'll have to do for a year they're still in there now them boys are gonna have sex with each other he's trying he's trying to like set this precedent that like you can't break my games like because people have tried this stuff before i think if he ever caves then for the future of all mr beast awesome pranks then people are going to be like hey if we all make a deal we'll all come out of here with money it's like the hunger game but like dude it's like the hunger game the capital you can't let the capital can't let them win but he could just keep doing that because then they could finish the year and then he could go fucking my media analysis you could go guys four million dollars four million one million for each of you one more year but you have to now have sex with each other on camera each of you over the course of a year and you have to teach me how it works while you're doing you guys have to make a rhombus with your bodies uh you could do it infinitely because he has how long until he like human centipedes some people uh i i honestly i think it's because you can't monetize that but i i here's my idea oh he's he's got the the uh-oh scoob outfit on he does he looks like shaggy that's an unbelievable he looks like who told him beige on army green he looks like shaggy here's my idea it's a quarter mil each there's this guy juan mexican dude 50 years old he's in there he's got a kid he can't see his kid for a year good as hell at puff we fucking we go in there quarter mil fuck it was a month of the page boys and we go juan we got a fucking quarter mil let's fucking break you out of there bro we fucking fly down we break is that we have the fucking bag we have come on we got the fucking money what does this achieve it breaks it bro dude we break it and we fucking save it we save we fucking stop the capital bro we stop the fucking cat what do you mean what is this fucking we're the mocking jay we're breaking pita out you're saying you're saying the second man's what about the other these other guys second man swan ah fuck him so it's like fuck the other guys i mean i don't care to save the save mr beast slaves or whatever i don't care you don't care he owns them that's that you're framing in a weird way huh yeah i'm saying you don't care to save the mexican dude i feel like he's saying he's saying keep whoever you got as slaves in the mr beast grocery store keep whoever you got in riyadh let me get on billy billy to argue in the fucking comments i'm trying to make actionable change in the world i'm trying to save a man and you're saying you're trying to save that man with with ripped jeans and he's that old that's paint no way and the boots too he probably came from work he did bro he's got an amazing wait wait he's going to stock the grocery store and they have to eat everything fast forward sit there 10 seconds i don't understand they have to live in the store and it will take them a year to eat it yes now that is what it looks like now and they leave when they eat all of that and he's estimating that it'll take them a year to get through uh well yeah this video came out last week i don't know how long it took to edit they're still in there they're still in there now and so people are mad at him people are like dude let them go like because he could presumably just keep it he could then like at the end of the year be like guys a million each and then they'd be like well fuck a million alternative like if they quit now can they split the 250k four ways no definitely not okay i don't think that's very anti-beast he wants one winner one story people are upset that he has just changed the rules of the game instead of being like all right you did it come on guy let me reward you it could have been a sweet ending he goes hey you know what y'all get fucking 100k i've said this bro the teeth changed and the teeth made him weird now and he dresses like shaggy and has slaves that's how he lives that's mr beast that's what he is what can you do about it and he meets me he meets mbs and he flies uae and shit and he flies around one time he made one fucking amusement park and freaks out what amuse can a guy make one fucking amusement park in saudi arabia can a guy fucking can a guy do something fucking yes can a guy take his family there for one vacation can i ask you can a guy get fried dough yeah please at the saudi arabia mr games can a guy go to the fried dough and there's a mr b's head and you go into his mouth and the teeth are there as a roller coaster he fucking just would it be a big deal if i told the yard patrons that the people who built the set were nepalese workers that we sold their passports and they couldn't leave america until they finished building the set because when you lose your passport you don't go anywhere else you're kind of just a john doe and you get eaten and swallowed up by the system and you live with clothes as walls let me ask you this i got a heel question for you please let me i'll get i got a heel answer the heel question of that episode let's say a truck does an mbs sponsored trip to riyadh okay judge him in saudi arabia i only would judge him if he didn't put the fucking screws to that motherfucker if he didn't ask him a hard and fun question i'd be i'd be kind of like confused how they like got him like what kind of aircraft can like carry like one that carries cars it'd be it would be the uss george washington the one the one at the back opens and you have to wait we gotta wait some blocks of straight to get him in he can't get through that a truck stuck on the uss george washington in the middle of the straight of hormones it floods the straight they're saying the straight is blocked by a man actually colossus of roads he's the snorlax asleep on the bridge yeah yeah you need a polka flute but for him it's just saying luka donchich right now that's probably it the hangar door it finally makes land in the dock the sun hitting his face he falls out like a silly buddy he's getting that fucking straight fucking hot here oh fucking hot fucking hot it's fucking funny where's my where's my dress i want you guys to stop he's wearing a dress i want you guys to stop here's a fat grandma dress that they wear on the house like the gown that you can also sleep in what are you guys you guys you got a bonnet on it's got a bonnet it smells insane you gotta buy what hair you want with that bonnet bro and it's fucking hot he's sweating like a pig you can't disrespect my co-host like this you can't it's only one co-host yeah bro it's only one well the other one's a map they don't like that one they didn't like that one i read them comments officer i didn't i really i didn't know how fast i'm sorry i didn't even know that's where we were going i didn't even know that this is a horror what do you think it's like for me making a show with a fat guy who takes who takes a re-object and a fucking fucking guy who says he's a map is captive so what do i do what do i do and you guys sit here and you make you make jokes about it i'm fucking sorry bro so i just got back from china like we all did and i had to get that awesome app on my phone that we alley pay when i got back i somehow i couldn't read what the app does i was trying to uber eats boba to my room and have a robot bring it to me i subscribed to like eight different services oh me too dude i don't even know what they do dude they sent me porn they sent you porn yeah none of mine none of mine were porn half of mine are like for like sports they sent me boba and fully clothed porn fully clothed porn are you sure it's porn yeah i could swear to god it's porn i don't think i don't think it is but i mean if you wanted to see all these places you accidentally subscribed to in one place you could get rocket money dude that's how i found out is i've we've talked about it so much i had it and i was like i'm gonna open it and see what's in there and it was all all this shit was a mandarin bro and i was like what the hell is all this when did i subscribe to these and with rocket money you can cancel the mandarin well cancel all of it cancel the spending it'll cancel the subscriptions and the spending and i appreciate what rocket money can do and has done for all of us but i'm gonna be the first one to say in this ad read i'll be keeping them well and what'd you scribe to again clothed porn i just don't know if it's porn it has to be the one thing that i do know is that rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings which is what i'm trying to do right now and like nick solve your chinese problem with rocket money not rocket money.com slash the yard not like an overarching problem it's a specific problem that's rocket money.com slash the yard just monitored your your subscriptions probably not clothed porn okay i know it's porn because i'm attracted to it well then that would make Pokemon porn for me. Now let's get back to your weekly clothed porn of the Yard podcast. Can I give you an out? Yeah. How much? Anything. And just be honest. Anything. How much, I get you out of this whole situation, would it cost for me to put you in a grocery store? You got to eat your way out. Yeah. You earn your freedom. It would take you, let's just say, a year, and you have to eat like 3,000 calories a day. Right. Oh, my gosh. He hates eating already. We'd have one treadmill there. Dude, a treadmill, you can run laps. We'd have one track there. We'd save some power. Painted with spray paint. Dude, I don't think I would do that for any amount of money. $40 billion. A $1 billion, fucking kill yourself. Of course you would. A billion. I would not do that. Aiden, it's a billion dollars. It's a lost year of my life. Oh, my God. I lost a year of my life playing fucking, watching Deadwood. Would you take $40 billion to delete a year off the back end of your life? Oh. Oh. Oh. Actually, let me. Because then you don't give a fuck about that year very much, man. No. Let me sweeten the pie here. Let me sweeten the pie. I take it immediately. Can I keep it as sack? Not anymore. Oh, he's trying to say he's rich, rich. I give you, I'll say it. I'm saying pre. Disgusting. I give you 100 mil plus citizenship anywhere in the world for you and a plus one. Instant citizenship. Citizenship everywhere in the world. Whoa. You get the odds. At once. The ultimate passport. And, and, and you get the fucking, you get the flipper zero chip installed in your brain and you can speak all the language. And you get to shoot one person in the skull. No questions asked. Everyone knows it happened and they celebrate you. You keep throwing in, you keep throwing in little extra treats that aren't treats. Those are, that's a treat. That's a treat. It's a hundred percent a treat. It's up to you to use. Oh, my God. And every, and every, I would, okay. And every acne storefront has a bronze statue of you inside. I give 40 billion. I delete the back year off my life. Yeah. I, I also. I also have to eat food in the grocery store. You have to stay in your captain's. You gotta eat your way out. It's not all food. Also, you have to eat the makeup in the store too. It's not just. But you have to shoot through H-Rock to get to wherever you want to shoot. So you need like a 50 cal. That's fine. I don't even know if that's. Nope. That's fine. You might need like a bigger bullet. Don't worry. And are, are you fucking doing it? Hmm? Are you fucking doing it? Well, now you've made it feel like my, a bit of my duty. Okay. I think we had to create. I wouldn't, I think, here's the real answer to this question is I think. Tom, I think I, I have a. Could have pulled the trigger. I'm in a good spot and I, I don't want to lose a year of my life. I don't want to. For a billion dollars. Yeah, but what is it? A billion. A billion. You could buy a lot of company and fire him. You could make his life miserable. It'd be crazy. You could, you could buy like so many CS knives. You, you could, you could take away that year of your life and you could feed every homeless person in the world for years. Yeah. Think about that shit. I guess. Yeah. Stupid. Asshole. I want to look at the noble. Because you know what you did is you just thought, oh, how could I use this? How could it benefit me? How could I, oh, how could I use this? Oh no. A tiny weird sports car in a different country. Should I sacrifice a year of my life to help people? You wouldn't sacrifice a year of your life. And I could do that. For all of humanity is what you're saying. I would do it if it saved every human life. Girl, that's your choice of how to spend the money. It always was. What? We just said we'll give you the money. You didn't think about it, bro. You just thought that how you'd spend it on yourself. First thing I do, tampons in every Uber. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. In every Uber. And that's 700 mil. And someone who can explain how you put them in. But not in the Waymos. In the Uber too. No, the Waymos wouldn't exist. I would see to that. We would get funding. We bought out Waymo. They're dead. No, yeah. No, we didn't buy them out. We put a stop to them. We have a shot. John Waymo has been found dead. Part of your grocery store deal, you have to fund my paramilitary group. I would. To kill the Waymos. What the fuck? Waymo is valued at $126 billion. Valuations are so fake. The thing is, though, is. I can take the company down with way less than that. I didn't know Google owned a majority of Waymo. Wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, I think they gave up on their own car a while ago. That was a thing, wasn't it? Now they own things. Wow. The Google Lamborghini. Apple was working on a car too. I got that Google Lamborghini. Would you guys take it? 100%. To save all humanity, yeah. You would take the grocery store thing. See, I'm older too. It kind of sucks. Like, if I took this deal, I'd come out of there at 37 years old. That's kind of scary. Of course I would do it. Because then I would make your life miserable. Yeah, I would use the money to hurt you. Okay. Dude, I would do crazy shit to your life. And you couldn't stop it. I would hire people to follow you around forever. And I'd say never touch, but be close. Never touch, but make sure he always knows you're there. I would do that, bro. Dude, time is all we got. Yeah, but money's all we got too, bitch. I'd give like a $4 billion donation. To the Swedish government and change the law to immigrate there. You have to like fuck like a monkey on like the news. Right. Everyone has to watch it. You would like get like an email from the Swedish government. Sorry, your application has actually been extended. You think that's four mil? I said four bill. He said four bill. All of it. It's all going to make the only thing he wants have really high consequences. How much is Ikea worth? More than four bill, surely. I'm going to go 28 bill. I'm going to go 60 bill. Show me 35. I don't care. 45 pounds. Wow, wow. 60 was close. I'm 15 off. Why is it in pounds? No, no, you're way closer because that's fucking euros. That's euros. That's euros. But why is it in euro pounds? Because it's probably because it's a European company. 50 bill. It says 25 there. All the numbers are wrong. Fuck AI. I heard a shit. Has Lil B made a song cursing AI yet? That might say that could fix everything. God, I wish it would. Fucking hate AI. He cursed Kevin Durant. You hate AI now. Fuck, man. Now you hate it? Now you're anti- Fuck. He's fucking pandering. I hate AI and I love women's rights. Fuck. Fuck. What do I do with all these values? Fuck. I hate AI and I want tampons in every way mo. Fuck. Fuck. I hate AI and I just want to see you smile. I just want you to smile because you deserve it. Fuck. What do I do with all these fucking principles? And I blast Chinese glocks. Fuck. Is there something fucking wrong? My shooter blasts Chinese glocks, bro. My shooter got an elevator in his house, bro. We chopsticks. How about that? Yeah. Yeah. That's, I guess. That's, for him, that's just a day at the office. Yeah. That's kind of cool. That's. Jim. You can't do this show too late, man. Why? You don't like the show late? I like the show late. You can't do this too late. Well, what's your schedule right now? Because every time I'm like, "Yo, can we do this show at 10:00 AM?" Nick's like. You fought back on it. Yeah. I was surprised. I appreciated it, but I was surprised. I was so unreasonable. But you've been doing it like weeks in a row now. Here's the thing. I feel. And tell me if you think this is unfair, I feel we mold to your life quite a bit. A lot of the scheduling of what we do molds to your life. Agreed. Agreed. So you were like, "I want to do it 10:00." Yeah. And sometimes when you say 10:00, "Oh, it's just 10:00. 10:00 is the law. It's 10:00 now." And I said, "You know, I have fucking agency in this world. I'd like 11:00. That'd be nice." Did you do this on GP? On GP. General principle. Yeah. You didn't even need the half hour. But you fought for 10:30. Well, no. Because to get here at 10:00 is to like wake up at 8:30. And I just didn't want to wake up at 8:30, because I got to shower, I got to get ready and stuff. I just didn't want to wake up at 8:30. I'd rather wake up at 9:30. Okay. And I think you have agency, and I think you should have. You know what I said? I didn't say, "No, I won't do it." I said, "11:00 is better for me, but if it's not possible, I can do 10:00." I think that's super fair. You guys negotiated. Yeah. You did this off camera, which I didn't like. It was on stream. It was on stream. It actually was on camera. It was on stream. What? It was on the chat. I was making fun of Aiden in chat. And then Ludwig airs me out, and he says like, "Tell me the truth, why do you want to fucking do 10:00, bro?" And I said, "Don't ask questions you don't want to fucking answer to." And then he met me at 10:30, and I said, "Preech." Preech. Because the only reason I'm trying. I'm not trying to move it up, just so I can. It's because I had to do the thing with Michael initially, and then my whole schedule got fucked. So then you reply, you say, "Not possible." And I go, "All right." But I'm. It's Eat a Dick Monday. No shit. And I'm first in line. Eat a Dick Monday. And he's throating it all. Uh-oh. Eat a Dick Monday. And I brought horseradish. Eat the balls, too. Yep. The balls are seconds. I just feel like. Dessert. I feel like sometimes, and we met in the middle here, my reason's a little better. Your reason's a little better. I just don't want to get up early. Sometimes for your job, you just got to get up early. Yeah, I'm funnier if I'm not tired. That's a good point. And I did think about that. The show suffers. I did think about that. That's why I want to do it. I want to get up and not be funny. He's a little cranky. Why did you want to do it at 10:00? Because I had initially the Michael thing at 1:00. Word. It's funny because sometimes he makes these demands, and it's like, "Oh, can we do it like an hour earlier?" But then you know what ends up happening? He sits on his fucking phone on that couch for 40 minutes, and it's like, "What was this for?" That's never happened. Give me the big boys and Fremont Chinese food. That's never happened. What a fabrication. It is a bit of a fabrication, I will say. He doesn't generally do that, but you are. Here's the truth of it. Here's the real, dark, twisted truth. When's the last time you requested an early time slot that you showed up on time to? Kill shot. Literally last week. Kill shot. Bang. Kill shot. Bang. Last week. When? Literally the last week. It's Monday. We record. I don't remember what time it was. I don't remember a sharp sharp in a long time. He wasn't there. Oh. Well, if I wasn't there, I wasn't there. That was your sharp sharp? What happened to my. Here's your real argument, even if that's true. It hasn't been true for the past, like 90 times. That's the thing about you guys, it's like fucking, are we living in the past? Should we be here before gay marriage? This is what I knew. This is what I knew. It was over. It was the other week. What are you guys doing about prop eight, by the way? I'm undecided. said we need to start the primo and this is i said yes to a lot of weeks schedule change i said as long as we start at one razor shutter sharp you use a lot of i used a new term well because sharp died and then razor sharp sharp's dead razor sharp i would say sharp we got to move on from the razor sharp the fucking time we record that was the thing hold on that's the thing i moved on i said razor shutter sharp to me are you saying chudder or cheddar cheddar cheddar chudder chudder chudder chud jeez and i said razor chudder sharp because i needed to be done in time for a meeting that i could not move oh it was like seven hours late which was one i was like we need to start we need to start at one and ludwig was so late that i got to do the meeting and then we did the episode i was here the whole time it was crazy look if i could also just share it because another you know ludwig was late conversation but if i if i could share an anecdote no let's fucking we're back a funny anecdote from the stream where me and ludwig we we uh we made we made a deal uh aiden was asking ludwig to play cs with him in chat ludwig was replying to everything aiden is saying aiden asked to play cs no reply that's a dog shit tim pins the message tim will do that but still ignores it i go in chat and i say pinned the message it was pinned for like 20 minutes i go to chat and i'm like yeah and you're a bitch bro it's because you're so beta it's because you're so beta and you want it so bad ludwig ignores all this and then he queues his own game without aiden's fine why am i gonna play with the op the op oh you're a friend you are the op you're the op because we're running a cs journey that you set up yeah okay did a mid job we'll talk about it what the fuck there's a lot we need to talk about but there's a lot to talk about but there's a lot to talk about he did mid he did all right tell me i think he did his job but it's a conversation for a future day don't say anything you think he wanted to play in it a little too bad no no no i i well i do think he wants to win it oh he definitely wants to win it why would i not want to win well well i'm just okay because this is the talking gun there's okay ludwig you've got the talking gun no dude another one you try to talk about the talking gun into your mouth i told you sorry the ludwig interview ludwig interview so uh we're we're fucking we're fucking setting up this this tournament there's a draft with captains aiden's in the group chat with the captains and they have some information on like who the players are and their general rank by like skill level information that i compiled yeah yeah as part of the organizer yes separate from being a player yeah information like you know hey these people are 10k plus these people are 15k plus for their premier rating dipping your dick in a little toing aren't you and so he's a to here but then he but then he pops in he goes by the way um me and nick yingling have really good synergy together so if anyone happens to pick us both up it would be helpful you're seated yourself in the pool he types this in the chat not in a public forum in the chat in a private chat that he had access to because he's the organizer with the captains hold on does it change anything i actually do think this is a bit of a faux pas i will give this to you but i didn't give this on this was not unsolicited who solicited it nothing one of the captains he tagged me and said aiden how much you play in these days how good are you and i said i answered the question and i answered the question and i said by the way nick yingling me and him play on the same team i'll say this if you can't talk to a guy like that manipulate him just because he's balding you can't do that can you pull up my twitter you pulled the old twat because that wouldn't work on me and it sure won't work on jordan nothing gilbert the flashbang dance well jordan nothing gilbert was part of the draft along with shroud and flom and um you can't put that kind of weight on nick yingling's shoulder bro he'll crack this is gonna be lit i don't know can i not say that the other captains drafted horrible scroll down just a little bit scroll so well that's that's that's uh that's my team shroud did no research i think the masayoshi team is gonna clear can i say that it well let's just scroll down actually to the important part oh you got me young on the team she didn't play hearthstone on the other don't get me wrong this team is wrong first two picks for jordan nothing gilbert who got this information from aiden last aiden calvin and nick yingling hold on that's nasty most peptides per capita as well he was the fourth pick in a snake draft yeah but i'm just he might not i don't think he would have picked oh sorry the first three captains fucked up he didn't use the data i don't think he would have picked nick yingling had he not heard that info from you yep that picture of yingling is really funny if you front of a melee setup yeah like if you don't think about at all where he is he looks like a depressed guy it looks like the picture of young thug in front of the computer i'll say this aiden if you have to just come correct if you you you bet you game the system here it is a little bit you better win i said it was a faux pas i did game the system i want nick yingling on my fucking team otherwise this event's a waste of time i appreciate the honesty there and i hope you fucking win it's either give me nick yingling or give me nakey jakey and i need one of those things and i'm and i get accusations of rigging my own events to win from who from viewers all the time people say you rig the viewers for real i'm just saying these are accusations let's go down let's go down to that damn masayoshi team someone do it is this team not fucking stacked austin cs two of them have cs in their names arrow cs quarter quarter jade and masayoshi are really good this team is good like where is it like i guess i guess ray but like where you know is that enough no i think this is a good team strong i think they have a shot but i think this is a good team strong i think they have a shot but i think this is a good team but you should i don't know you watch austin stream last night he's crashing out that might not be your number one team but i also think you know chem yeah the chem the cs experience is a little low i see what you're saying you're saying you all constantly get accusations that you rig events like the streamer games which you did twice in a year but i think this is the second best team and are you the first best team uh we're the first and second and then this is the other team that's so that's the second and he's the first or the second but really ludwig the call came from inside the house if you're the first best team you're the second best team you're the second best team you switched yingling with another one of the i guess pick would have probably third seeds or whatever do you still think you're the first because it probably would have been like stable ronaldo or uh actually no it probably would have been like masayoshi i think oh here's here's the real here's the real deal breaker for our team is noco was one of the last picks on paper but has actually gotten way better at the game since the rank data was pulled so our war our our worst player on paper is actually quite good and courage is good even though he doesn't play much and then it's like there's no bad player on our team it's a stomp it's going to be a horrible event all the other teams all the other teams have at least one bad player wait you're you're casting it are you yeah i was gonna say we should go and we could dress up as anti-aiding guys we could fucking cheer only against that team well and we could paint our bodies and our stomachs and we could be like fuck the aiding team they fucking hate us i'll tell you something man me just me casting the game does not prevent me from doing is it my is it my fault that i put the that i put the little grains in the chat that i put my hands on the scale and the first three captains ignore it it's a good question yes it is because can we not do a little insider trading i'll say in this era donald trump can do it yeah if le orange man can do it if we can make a billion dollars insider trading on the war in iran i can't i can't get nick yingling on my fucking cst i will say this ludwig do you think having nick yingling on his team is that much of an advantage yeah really yeah a hundred percent i think cam is pretty important i think it's very important because no other team has that they'll also not they'll be the only team with set stress i think he flew out nikki jakey to have a miserable time where he gets fisted every single game goes oh three goes home and he goes yeah yeah that sucked is he coming on the yard yeah he's coming on the yard okay next week nikki jakey be like yeah that yingling guy just swung me perfectly every time crazy unbelievable i never had a 1v1 and i tried to have a conversation with him about i don't know television and pop culture and he clearly engaged on any point i tried to talk to him about iran and he didn't really know what that was he didn't know what it was i told him i came on an airplane he said the thing that puts food in your mouth on a spoon that's my teammate by the way we got a good kid yeah his mouse he loves playing balco his mouse pad was just streets and cars he was sitting on his mouth on the floor he's got a few he's got a few hot wheels from time out it's great he like just with his arm on the table just going you you you you That'd make you feel white boy now i'm on his side because you made me laugh so damn much just are you playing sometimes you guys indulge yeah my team is uh above oh right right yep it's not bad except for the bad parts it's it's really the problem with his team is that it's literally all people i think me young plays the most counter-strike on this team yeah well i think the team's skill is quite high except for me but the synergy of this team is the op it's the worst synergy that picture of shroud looks crazy looks like the easter island head emoji which I guess is just the Easter Island head he kind of looks like when you make yourself in a video game he looks like he'd spent like an hour on content when you scan yourself into Rainbow Six you're like yeah I guess it's mapped Ludwig Ludwig's on there I think I didn't know that this was so lit this is gonna be fun do you think Ron will take it seriously absolutely not I think when he's in the battle I mean I guess in the same way he took PSL seriously right like he was he fried on some maps oh yeah he cared that's true he's a competitor at heart I think for what it's actually worth is all of these all of these teams are even enough that they can just win fucking guy who rigged it guy who said I'm the best team I actually think the event set up really well guy who said I'm the best team there's no way cause if I lose it's like then I'm just wrong to win was to not do what you did I'm telling you I'm telling you what I genuinely believe which is that these teams are fairly even if you win yeah you are in the wrong yeah if you lose oh that's beautiful he didn't make fun of me that's beautiful I wouldn't make fun of you I would say I was wrong I overestimated Nick Yingling I didn't expect him you know to underperform or however he goes and he cuts his salary in half too if he does badly in this event I don't know if he does well actually it's the opposite if he has a positive KDA I gotta go out back I gotta go you can go hey you think Stable Ronaldo will look me in the fucking eyes when I pass by him or not no no almost absolutely not typical can you do you can say hey Ron look me in the eyes I will I'm gonna be a problem at this thing you guys have so much awesome roles what's my role dude you guys have to get the role you're in it what am I doing at the event I can't wait to find out I've been waiting this whole time and it's like you have been playing Counter Strike and I've been playing recently he's been playing I've been playing I got my rank we actually do need a guy in the back on a Steam Deck playing Slay the Spire 2 I don't know what really and that's part of the event position at the blowjob factory just opened up gotta tell my mom that I finally got a job you were sick bro we assigned all these roles on the podcast the other day yeah it must have been it wasn't even an event until fucking you guys came up with it last week fuck yeah we just came up with it and it's like it was mostly at the Dodgers game fucking and also Tommy Pham is coming through too fuck yeah Tommy Pham 1v1 scouts knives with Ludwig morning video the oldest person in the room it's fine dude I don't even fucking want to be a part of it you'd get Tommy Pham to do that 1v1 at Evo instead of Ludwig wouldn't even I guess Tyler would I think he'd probably do better than Ludwig it might be worth dude I did the fucking Rivals of Aether 2 Road to Evo tournament I went 0-2 like deadass last yeah you don't play Rivals I know but there's 200 DQs and I dodged all of them like I went genuine 0-2 you play people I play people you lost you lost to accounts that made a DQ run yes yeah yeah I do that's happened to me it does not feel good it's crazy Beachcon 2017 Melee this happened it was quite a lot of DQs it feels bad yeah you don't practice shit anymore you were just too busy riding a bicycle you're too busy man la bicicleta what character do you play cause you have oh yeah what Loxodon Loxodon me and Stango he got first I got last it's so awesome seeing some Melee guys up there be bad Stango salted pretty well yeah salted salted well what place did you get 17th or 13th I love a bag she's that good at Rivals yeah yeah can you do yeah you don't play games you don't practice shit you just eat hot chip and lie I'm stretched too dick yeah whose fault is that it's always been your problem yeah but now you said yes to too many things it's literally not his fault and I hate this guy what do you think it's a little bit take your current Melee skill yeah if you took an average an average gamer average gamer how much time do you think it takes them to beat you in a tournament set it's a good question from they've never played raw time how much do you think it takes them to get to your level and surpass you by just enough to beat you are they practicing like my matchup or just playing they're just playing they're playing they're practicing the matchups as much as you can practice any of the matchups like you just you queue Slippy you got a friend who plays like you know they're not like only trying slime training they're not literally watching your VODs and only playing against Puff and like you know getting coached by fucking Leffen it's like how much time do they have to play a day well it's the question is just time overall but so I have some info because I went to PSL yeah with Super and Emily ah and we did 1v2s yeah at the setup dude they were losing on Melee they were losing to Passion Fruit in 1v2 your Falco I love that they said they won one they were so proud I know they were proud they won versus your Mario right I went through my character yeah I went Puff then I went Fox and then I was like alright and then I went Falcon then I was like Passion Fruit you went Captain Falcon yeah and to Ludd's credit this setup was like so laggy it was like horrible it was nasty like it's in Dolphin and it's running at like 38 FPS like it's chugging and then I went Marth yeah I won Marth and then I was like you know what extra Emily this isn't sexist go Peach and then oh and then I put Super on Marth they and then I went Mario and then they won and then they popped off and I was like I shouldn't have done that no they they needed that why there was a Lakers game on Sunday night uh huh and I go like me and Ludwig were planning to go and then you couldn't go anymore yeah and I show up not realizing that like I just kind of like oh I'm gonna be like I'm just gonna be at the Lakers game now oh you didn't realize they were going and I go to the seats and Super and Emily are there so I get to watch the game with them and they're proudly explaining like yeah like he he forward smashed with Marth and I had down smashed with Peach and we fucking beat him not giving any of the context that they had lost like so many before or the context that Super said Nick what do I do how do I beat him and I said pick the sword guy and just hit the C-stick Emily use the down one on the C-stick I said I walked away and then they beat the Mario with that strategy was the Marth C and the Peach C his recovery's tough giving Super to have Marth isn't right that's not where his heart is he doesn't like that to answer your question I think it would take from raw like Super TF skill level like two months as his main game maybe really only two months no put some respect on your name bro I think it would take way longer to beat your Jigglypuff I don't think I don't think you're good at Melee I disagree I think Melee's an extremely hard game to learn but we forgot that because we learned it forever ago I guess I don't really know how long it takes to learn the game anymore I was gonna say do you think more or less than a year oh well less than a year I don't think so man if it's his main game a hundred percent I think if he's playing like if he's grinding every day I think he could do it in a year also I say average gamer Super is like a proven world champion sure sure sure I don't know extra Emily would take multiple lifetimes yeah extra Emily's not gonna make it happen I don't think it's happening you found a way to make it sexist that's cool no no no I don't think I think it's just a gamer thing average gamer oh Super oh minutes that's not what I meant minutes maybe hours I'm sorry actually I try to use the benefit of the doubt there nope I meant it how it was perceived average gamer I was gonna say it would take like a year and a half Super is not God's talent he plays fighting games and he's very mid you play Puff which is like hard for a new player I also think it's easy for me to stay sharpish at like sharper than I would if I was playing I remember you were a hit away from beating Yangling at the company tournament a couple years ago yeah it was you took a game off me at that tournament you've beaten Miles in tournament it was a while ago it was a while ago beating Nick beat Nick Allen and then he took he took but he got the prize pool took him for two games he took me for two and a half folks I guess I'm fucking that guy bro you went lower so we'd stroke you I genuinely just actually forgot how long it takes to learn that game because I was I actually was basing off how long it took me to learn Minecraft but like it's less these days people learn melee faster these days I think people learn games faster too yeah I think it's just the resource of being able to play online I think that was the real hold up like in our when we started playing the real thing that held you up from approving really quickly is you had to play in person all the time which means you could only put in so many hours yeah people goon the fuck out on that game and now people goon it's just real and you could do it I think you could do it in like a year and a half a year yeah I think it'd be under a year for sure anyway try now try now on your phone pick up Slippy for the first time today we need like the Magnus Carlsen app but for you and it's like a puff that plays about as good as you you need a video of you online showing you that your first day is today and then I'll play you in a year can the guy who made Phillip make Ludd 100 dude a guy with ChachiBT free version could make Ludd someone who's got Claude or a lot of real man hours of time make a puff bot that queues Slippy has studied dude can we get access to like all your all your Slippy files that you've ever had there are none there's some if you've ever opened Slippy and played it you have files yeah I got some then we'll train a fucking bot to play exactly like you you could file a bot that beats me tomorrow yeah I think a bot that beats you technology has no I'm saying a bot that plays like you and they play it can you beat Ludwig and Melee no I'll just play you bro all of them fucking farm to table all of them I like that I'll play whoever makes the best video about it most people make bad videos we kind of did this at Genesis right people got to play you didn't they uh - I did, it was mashing, that was different. and i swept the whole crew it's true uh that one that one you could train to beat me quicker by the way you two fucking ignored me what did i do how do you talk to me like that i didn't i didn't see it till it was too late i saw in the morning how dare you speak to me like you ignored me when did i fucking do that i i tagged the chat because i know you guys both had chess arcs and there's an opportunity to do a simul game against magnus carlson oh yeah i saw that i ignored that immediately i want i wanted to do it i thought in the morning is that not crazy to ignore it immediately i don't get i'd get nothing from playing against magnus carlson i did not i interpreted that message as really you asking me i also interpreted it as take my table scrap slaves i interpreted well that's it's it's i actually thought it was generous so interesting i thought it was i would love to play magnus i actually pisses me off the atrioc i got to play him because like atrioc was the phil eventually it's just so sad yeah and then he had to eat a burger in front of him too yeah really disgusted magnus so much it was crazy that between every movie he ate one more burger and magnus lost because he was just guffawed he was like i can't he ran out on time i can't believe he hit another one was his tweet real did he actually win i don't know i don't know how it actually happened that he won but i'm assuming that was just a joke for sure yeah but i i don't know i didn't i don't know i don't know if it was like a simul where like oh and he's fucking blindfolded and getting jerked off at the same time i don't think there's a context in any game where i would value playing the best player as like some sort of showcase opportunity i don't care i i don't get i i know and i'm not saying like no one should but me personally i'm like i don't fucking there's no one you'd like be excited to to just fucking share the the rift with i think not really no i don't i don't think i can i would i would i feel completely opposite yeah me too like if i i would wait in a line i'd wait in a line 10 people long to one v one faker oh i'd wait in a line any more than that i'm like i don't need it sure i'm waiting in the yeah for sure and play magnus and chess definitely this is no line is your opinion about this different 10 years ago no i never care 10 years from now wow yes i'm in the grocery store one billion dollars is coming my way no i don't think i've ever cared because it's like i think in my mind it's like if i can't if i'm having if i'm getting dicked by squid then what do i get really about playing you know fucking look i go or something i i've been thinking about it and i think we break that guy out i think we go and i'm gonna use my free shot what the fuck did i do i haven't shot yet oh you pointed me first i didn't flinch you pointed at me i said go ahead because i want that i didn't flinch either i just mouthed off rotoscope a bullet through his head i mean what the fuck you learned the word rotoscope every all dude all of ludwig's fans learned the word rotoscope is all they talk about because apparently the only editor on the planet is cam and all he does is rotoscope yeah it's unbelievably annoying it's literally had the best edit in the whole video she did how she did it was great her episode was the only one i watched front to back it was a treat well yeah god cam doesn't watch this show oh i said that stream he heard it i said it dude they're using the word rotoscope on his subreddit in ways i've never seen in my life well guys we'll rotoscope you next week for another episode of the art or in the patreon if you're there with an episode coming your way and we'll rotoscope you and your and your and your family as well oh my fucking dick no you dry fired me doing a bullet in the chamber and now your penis is gone it's gushing blood jesse it's on the van put it back put it back stop it no put it back in my car jesse you got the van all bloody i'm losing the blood in my cock mr white okay goodbye