Ep. 245 - We Went to China!

[MUSIC] Ludwig will, we've held out with him for like five hours right now. And he does this thing where he'll like casually, he'll be like laid back. And he'll like bust out this like, what sounds like flawless Chinese. Because I don't know any. And then I'm like, wow, he's done it. And then the person he's speaking to will just do this, like, yeah. >> Look at him, like he's just drooled all over himself. >> It's so, but he gets there there, I say does get there. Dude, it was so, okay, welcome to China. >> Welcome to China. >> If you saw we were on a boat, we ran in some chop. We're going to do an episode on literally a boat in the water. >> It was so perfect, we found, I mean the chop found us, right? >> We were scrambling around all day looking for a film location. We see the boats were like, that's going to be perfect. We get on the boats. We get into the water and then the chop came. >> So like the boat like managers, they're not cops, they just, they take you to the shore if it gets to Wendy, they come by and they're like yelling at us. And Ludwig's like talking back to him and stuff. And they have like this exchange and I'm like, what do they say? He's like, oh, I don't know, they talk for like five minutes, and I'm like, I don't know what they say. >> Walking eyes. It's not only paying attention, he's like, do it, do it, do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have mastered the art of making them think I know what they said and they, yeah, and they, they see five, they see five wire and get on the, get on the fucking lake and they activate the chop and what's the word shwaguan? What is it? What is shwaguan? Oh, shwaguan, shwaguan, shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. We say hello to someone handsome. These five, five shwaguan get on the lake. What's handsome again? Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Shwaguan. Oh, right, right, right. I thought it was white guy. Do you know what? What's the gaijin equivalent? It's not white. It's foreigner. Waiiguo. Oh, yeah. See, okay, there's a very high possibility, high chance during this recording that we will break equipment. Things will fly around. Something will go wrong. This was our last chance. So we're walking or which walking we're like, okay, figure out, we get these guys fly out in like a couple hours like, how do we do this? And then a man is standing in the doorway of what is the number 21 beast show? The view and chill called the view and chill. A man is standing in the doorway of the view and chill. He's looking at us. We're trying to figure out and he's doing this. I looked up and I saw the sign and I went, huh, view and chill. And Ludwig just walks in like, like, he couldn't have helped it. Like, like, that was his sleeper agent call. Dude, and shout out. They gave us a whole roof to film on. Yeah, yeah. They put this up with some food. I had happy face friend fries like BJs in California. You come to Beijing. Check out the viewing channel. She was like, she was like, you should come tomorrow. The weather's bad today. I'm like, we're here for one day. And then she's laughing at me. You're lucky. And then Ludwig's using Chad G PT to have a conversation with this woman, which is immediately a surrendering. You don't get to see that on tip to tip because he doesn't have a phone. And then the Chad G PT guy in the phone is like, sorry, you've ran out of tokens for today. He's like, okay. He's like, I thought they had pro. My name is Aiden Calvin. I'm going to Sam Altman. I'm going to do that. You don't need to make a joke of it. I'll do that. Sound safe. It's good to be back. And I love that we're all here together. We are back, bro. This trip has been a fucking disaster, bro. That's for yourselves. I had a phenomenal trip. We had phenomenal trips. But once we came together, we came a disaster. They uploaded an episode of Lemonade stand on, was it Billy Billy? The bill is somebody ripped the episode and then translated it and uploaded it in like three different parts. They calling you bald too. No, he burns right in here. I've been walking around. You actually have you have like maybe the longest hair. Dude, I don't translate it. The tall, the tall gay looking one makes some great points. He seems to be the soul of this podcast. There was one guy. I'm like scrolling through Billy Billy comments. Translating that just see what they have to say and see if there's any haters on the Chinese side of the editor. There are. There are. There are. It turns out there are. His haters are funny though. I've seen the comments on tip to tip and it's like, it says like he is like a calm ape. They have like very like funny things that they're calling. They've been calling me cats in America. That's good. They've been calling me Jim Carrey. Dude, I found it something fucking hilarious. There's a nickname for the people like the kids on social media that try to circumvent the sensors and because league was, it was or is so popular here. A lot of league terminology is like just leaked into everyday life, especially online. And they call the people that like try to tow the line around the sensors and figure out what you can and can't say tower divers. Oh my god. That's clever. That's clever. That's good. Benak. Do you think if I did tip to tip, maybe with like Nick, we, I could, they'd make call me Volley bear. You guys, so I watched your vlog. Yeah. We watched that with that. We kind of did it better. First of all, it's not a vlog. It was definitely some other shit. It was a shit where you know that it was a vlog. And you guys wouldn't last three days. Do you see us hatch the plan? Without, first off, great plans. I love them. The plans were good. But you guys are just getting scammed. Left and right. Like, you're not getting scammed. What are you talking about? A friend. Is that could that possibly be a scam? How do you get scammed? You don't know how to haggle. You don't even consider doing it. I don't know how to haggle. No, are you kidding me? No, you did it. We're really, I've seen the ASAP Rocky Rayband collaboration. Yes. And do you realize that I got a thousand Hong Kong dollars off? Is that a big number? Do you think about that part? Bro, it's like, you see, you see, you see the price. It goes minus 89%. You're like, that's a good deal. It's better than we've had five days in the world trying to broken men with Rolex's covering their arms. No money left. It's like a side board mix struggling to see why no one has a vanilla latte for him. It's actually been quite the opposite. They got vanilla lattes. You've been to Hong Kong. He's been to Hong Kong in Beijing. Yeah. I brutally verbally beat down a woman from $3 to $1. That was, yeah. That was unbelievable fighting her. Imagine telling that woman how much money you make. It ain't, it ain't about that. She would respect it because it ain't about how much you have. It's about how much you know that's worth. Lord, we've said he haggled the guy who gave him a ride here. And the guy was just complaining about it to himself. Yeah. Well, it's driving that America. He's like, I don't know. He's like, I'll give you a rickshaw ride 50 you want. He's like $8. And I was like, I was like, 30. I can't do more than 30. And he goes, he goes 40. And I walk away. And he goes, 30's fine. 30's fine. Let's go. The walk away is is level one barter move. And then he's in the rickshaw and he's going, I make the locals pay 50. But I paid him 50 after I paid him. I do. I do have these scenarios where we were we were taking the, the car, like, deities at the beginning of our trip. And we were getting like 30 minute rides for like 25 you want, which is like, fucking $3. And I'm like, and I'm like starting to do the math, like the cut out of like his pay on this, his time. I feel like guilty doing it. It doesn't mean. We've gotten so you, our Uber price is used to be insane. Remember, remember Uber, remember Uber share. And you'd have to just sit with other guys in dream. I remember my dad's first for my journey. My dad's first time getting in an Uber. He didn't know what that meant. So he calls a pool on accident and gets in one with a guy who has like the flu. And he's like hacking. And then he just told me he's like, Uber sucks. They put me with sick guys. He was ahead of the wave. It does suck now. Yeah. It does blow my mind. How cheap China is. Oh, this is, no, this is a chop. Listen, listen, listen to the chop. It's a crazy job. This is what happened to us on the, on the waves. When it, when the waves, when the wind like really picked up and we were on the boat. And there was kind of like it, it got really hard for a second. But then it got even harder. And then we could not move the boat with the little engine that it had and started a rock. I was like, dude, if we flip with all the equipment out here, you know, you're not going to flip, bro, you're not going to flip. I have a captain of the vessel. I knew we were not going to flip. And I knew that you would be a child. We have a strong captain, bro. This shwaga front. It's not going to worry about I'm going to throw you in the brick. Okay. The bridge would have, well, but we've got a wide glow break for people like you. Is swaga the noun that you call somebody or is it like a per, like a shwaga? Is that handsome person? You're thinking too much about it, man. You're being an asshole. He's a shwaga man. He's a shwaga. Okay. And right now, you're kind of talking like a wide glow on God too. Can you not be both? Yeah, you can. He's right. Oh my god. You guys see this. It's unignorable. You have a blown out white hair. Yeah. I actually thought it was a piece of foot. No shmuts. No shmuts. No, it's some shputs. Oh, it's sputs. I actually think it's ash for my cigarette. This is a minor attracted French people in the damn Hong Kong restaurant. I was so surprised. I'm just heard someone speak French. This is what's going on. He saw people speaking French at a breakfast. A very nice establishment. And they were being very nice to everyone. But they were clearly minor. I tried to just visually base off the way they spoke. No, no, okay. - This bit, this bit, it's lemonade stand. And I want you to jump in on this. - Okay, okay. - Even I have a Michael for like 20 days, who's great. - Love Michael. - You know, different sense of humor, different sense of humor, he's more forgiving, but I wanna throw you in the shark tank. It's a bit, it's lemonade stand. But atriok and Doug have found out that Aiden is a nonuffendant pedophile. - Nonoffendant. - Minor attracted person. - And they may be. - They'd be cool with it. (laughing) - You're my fucking friend. - You're my fucking friend when I'm a fucking dude. - I don't know, do we, do we just get them off the show? - Claude. - Claude, what do you do when your friend is a MAP? - Sorry, MAP, this was the data from after 2014, so. (laughing) - I'm not offending. - He's not offending. - What do you want me to do? - He's not offending right now. - He's my fucking friend. - I know you. (laughing) - Maybe this is whatever, it's just blowable. - So should we just kill every French person? The nonoffending person we just killed? - This is the kind of stuff we were just like talking about. Wait, we just, we just talked about that. - We were talking about this. - We're talking about this. - You guys are out here just dropping a thousand you want. Number one, Hong Kong Special Administrative Region. - Yep. - True. - So chill on that. - Okay. - Number two. Yeah, we spent a lot of money. But the thing is we did it better than you could ever have done it. - Is that true? How about this? Everyone close your eyes. - Okay, eyes have been closed. - Open your mouth. - My mouth is open. - It's like a little game. - Keep it open without ever closing it. - This is like it's ready for anything. - Okay. - This mouth is closed. - All right. - This is why it needs it from you. - Put your hands up. - Put your hands up. Put your hands up. - Put your hands up. Put your hands up. - This most handsome Greek man. - It's heavy. - Yeah. Hold it. Hold it. - Did you give me a tungsten rock? - Okay. This one is for you. - What is this? - Wait. - Don't look yet. And then this one is for you. - Okay. - Okay. Okay. I got you all gifts. Okay. You guys can open your eyes now. Take a look. Oh. Wait. - I got you the one who can't see. - Right. Okay. - You know. - All right. - I got you the one who can't hear. - Yeah. - Fucking the headphones. - The headphones. - Or one thing at a time. - I'm saying home. - And I get you the one who should speak less. Why? (laughing) 'Cause that's what the monkey does. - So cute. - Yeah. Very cute. - It's cute. - Thank you for this monkey. What's the same on the bottom? - On the bottom it says hungloudon. - Is that monkey? - Not translated. - How would I clean my monkey? - Huh? - You know, if it's monkey. One day. - You don't clean the monkey. - I can clean your monkey. - Okay. - If you come out of my house. - Yeah. - You never clean my monkey. - You never clean your own monkey. - Well, I can clean your own monkey. - I can clean your own monkey. - I'm like, well, I know what solves this money. So I pull out just 100, 100 you on. - How much is that in American dollars? - It's like $14. - It's actually worse than giving him no money. - 100 you want covers of hotel boys. - It's disgusting. - And it's like looking your thumb and going through the same $1 over and over. - And I'm trying to hand it to him. I'm trying to say sorry, sorry, sorry. But I kept saying Bukuchi, Bukuchi, Bukuchi, which is you're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. - Oh, bro. - What the hell did you put it in? - Huh? - Why can't you put it in? - Put what in? - You can put it in the video. - Cause I hit a car and I'm yelling you're welcome. I didn't make the call. This is like, this is the editors. - I don't make the call. You're a floodwagon. - I don't watch the video. - I don't watch the videos. - Kim's. That's the whole point. - I don't fucking make the call. - Come on. - This is the most interesting shot of the day. - That's the operation he wrote. - They were like, hey, you come off horrible in this. - I guess Kim's the one watching it. - I was watching it. - Watching it. - Eyes bagged, and his hands is obvious. - Yeah, but what actually happened when it's translated is a guy's car get hits. And he's like, well, you pay him my fucking car and I'm going, you're welcome. You're welcome. - That's so fun. - I stay there for a while, but another guy comes in. He's like the director of this traffic. And I understand him because he just goes, he goes, like, you're good. You're good. - You're good. Go ahead. You're good. And he turns the guy to go, he's your car's a beater. - He's a beater. - He's a beater. - Oh my God, speaking of it. - We told the story right before you left of the Armenian guy and the -- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard. - And basically, that guy did that. He mediated the situation in a way that you would. - Yes. - And I like that. I like how you -- - But nobody said the N word. - Maybe this. - Maybe this. - I mean, you've probably heard it. - Yeah, the Chinese -- What is it? - What is it? - It's -- - No, no. - There's Juga. - Juga. - Juga. - Okay. - For this. - And there's Nah. - Guh. - For something that's that. - It's the pause. - It's -- - You ought to have a pause. - Wait for it. - It's one of the main words. - That one of the main words. - It's also like a thinking word. - Instead of um. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's something that -- - Yeah. - It'll like stutter on it and say it like a few times in a row. - It's certain dialect because we drove all across certain dialects. And me and Mugg were talking about this like doing, you know, etymological forensics to find out which Chinese province says it the most accurate to the N word. - Oh my god. - Because some of them, some provinces you drive through, it just sounds like they just rip it. But I discovered another one, a lesser known one. - Oh, really? - A rare one. - A rare one. - If you want to say, like, if I took a picture, like, because a lot of people just ask for pictures of me. - Yeah. - Because I'm white. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's fun. - Because I'm a white girl. And then, or I'll take a picture of them on like my diggy and it'll be like, send it to me. And that's far. - No. - Good knee. - Aiden, please. All together now. - Fucking knee. - That's good. - Send it to me. - Send it to me. - Send it to me. - That's it. - That's it. - That's it. - That's it. - That's it bro. - That's it. - That's it. - Aiden's in pain. (laughing) - Oh man. - Yeah. - Language is so beautiful. - So beautiful. - It is beautiful. - It is beautiful language. - I mean, that's what I think, with me and Nick did the thing, it was a couple days ago, as we record this, but it was very fortunate that Hong Kong is like a weird like British enclave. Like most people just speak English, so we were able to. - We didn't mean anyone who couldn't speak English. - Like, haggle. - Right. - You got to think the opium was through that one. - Mm. - Yeah. - And I do have a day. - Every day I thank them. - They burn down the summer palace. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - The British and French teamed up. They hate each other. They teamed up just to come and ransack China so that they would open their borders for trade and they did. - They did. - The Japanese took back Hong Kong during World War II, did you know that? They took back what was theirs. - What? - That's not freezing like that. - Well, they took back what? - They took a lot of shit they shouldn't have taken. - What? - Then the British came and took it back in World War II. to end it. So they took back what was there? And then China took, and then China turned into a special administrative region took back what was there? There must've been a staff involved in this somewhere, maybe in between all these places. They were, they were all gunning for cause the staff become, it gets between us all. I mean, it does, right? Because it holds immense power. Yeah. Dude, I had to, the staff from, the staff from the video that healed Aiden. I asked for it back because I'm a doctor now. Yeah. And I really wanted to take it with me to fly from Hong Kong to Beijing. And, and it's a really long annoying item. So I tried to mail it. I go to the post office in the airport in Hong Kong. The guys like we, that we stopped just, uh, mailing shit to the US a year ago. It only documents and like, fuck, okay. So I go, I go to check in. I have my carry on bag in my backpack. So I'm not checking anything. And I'm like, Hey, uh, I need this. And this lady, she's like, her English isn't great. And she's, you know, she's being very helpful. She's like, oh, why? And I was like, leg problem. She's like, it's like walking with it. So Nick, Nick and Rich had left to go food. And, and I'm sitting on a bench. And I can, I'm like across the atrium from Anthony. And I can see him at the counter. Miming this. Like I'm not close enough to hear anything, but I can clearly see the whole interaction. And I'm filming it. And after he explains that he is a leg problem, he leans over and starts using the cane for the rest of the interaction. So, like, yeah, I need to remember it after you have to tell her that. And so, and so the lady was like, okay. And she does a lot of typing. And it's a tense moment because our producer, Rich actually had like an error in his name and they had to wait 30 minutes to get his tickets. It's like, things can go wrong. It feels like it's a tense moment. She types. She's like, okay, I'm sorry. I had to change your seat. You were in an emergency role. But because you're handicaps, I need to put you in a different seat. And I said, thank you. That's very considerate. And then I walk through security with a limp, the entire, he's not using translators because I feel like you guys just walk up places and you try to just, I'm here. We haven't we haven't really been here. But yeah, I, okay, I, I used translator for like breakfast and stuff. I used one all morning. It's really helpless. We, we had an interpreter for the entire 11 eight century, a little baby. You know, a bowel, I'm fucking amazing. That's what you sound like, a bowel, a little hour interview. And then you said, and you said, Perry, get your fucking ass up. It's time to record. They worked into the phone. We went to, we went to like a nine story mall and he had to go throw up in the bathroom at a nine story mall. And it's a chop chop. Look at the well fed rich gets KFC. Well fed rich. It's free chicken. Rich gets fucking chicken and for free. And Perry don't get shit. Oh, there he was fine. There he was fine. He was fine. He was fine. He's the lemonade stands for that. And stop. Hey, next time you see him, don't talk to him. Don't ask him any questions. I'm tired. I'm tired of you guys talking to Perry. If he makes eye contact with you, you tell me and I'm not offending. I was walking through the mall. So we had to edit that episode. It was like, it was like an old summit event where we had to do it all that night. It's really annoying. It makes like, I need a mouse. I'm like, okay, I'll get you a mouse. You guys were dumped the footage. They were dumping the footage on my phone. He's came. Yeah. No, I was no. No, I'm cam. I'm Dan and cam. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like still slime at BTS. But I have to go through this mall that's attached to the hotel. And I don't have my phone and I have to find a mouse. That is my job. And I'm walking through and these two high school kids go slime. And I'm like, what? And they, they flag me down and they're like, dude, and they're like geeking out. They're huge fans. This one kid's like, dude, I saw you beat the Ender Dragon. And I'm like, this is Hong Kong. That's awesome. This is about Barnabas. This is crazy. Do have Barnabas and everything. And they're, and I was talking to kids. I'm like, are you guys busy? Because I need help. And they're like, no, they're like, they're like star struck. I'm like, kids busy. Yeah. I need some help. You're going to help. And my friend is not offending. But I need you to help me find him. I'm not offending. And you need to help me find a mouse kiddos. So we did. We walked through this mall and they're like, ask me all these questions. I'm giving an insider info on tip to tip. Okay. Tell me. And we get there. We get a mouse. I have my phone. There I do. I'm a fine. I have my card. I pay for the mouse. And I'm like, Nick also wanted boba. Do you know a boba spot? I'll get us all boba for your, for your troubles. Help me. We go. We find a boba spot. It's four bobas. The lady's like 100 Hong Kong dollars, which sounds like a shit load. And nothing. And she's like, she's like, uh, tap. And it doesn't work. She's like, oh, only cash or octopus. And I just look over. And I'm like, and the kids mail them out. We got it over one more time. And I'm just like, you saw me kill that energy dragon. How much was that work, kids? I was like, uh, but it was cool. And then, and then I told them I'd shout them out. So shots out guys. So they basically, you, you just screenshot picture. Archie screenshot picture of slime. And then they got a picture of energy kids. Took their money. And then they get a shout out. I didn't take advantage of anything. They were impressed. This is actually great. He's, he's paying them back with the shout out. And of course, yeah. But also with free merch from you. I told them I was like, I felt so bad. I was like, bro, you know what? I'll tell Aiden to get you a merch code because I felt like shit. Okay. Uh, because a hundred Hong Kong dollars for your a lot. No, no, no, no, that's coming out of your pocket. That comes out of your pocket. Oh, you'll okay, tell them that you're telling me to the camera. Samuel and Andrew, you're not getting it. Sorry. I really tried. I don't give a shit. I really tried. Please, don't hit us up for any help on support. Because guess your applause. Okay. What are your Hong Kong dollars? It's like what, like 16 months? It's just about like by seven. It sounds like a lot. I don't know, like what? It's a hundred fifteen, fifteen. Yeah. The seven things are a little off because I use the divide by seven thing for the pig ear we bought, which is actually fish mall. I learned from a lot of comments. And I did the divide by seven. I'm like, oh, my God, he spent $70 went home. Actually, we spent $89. It was $89. It was even more. It was even more Hong Kong dollars different than R&B presumably in their exchange rate. The exchange rate is similar, but not the same one complain about Hong Kong is a, please, you're the two tell them. And I got an expert. I can speak. I think you'll, actually, not a single bathroom I used had a bad day. Oh my God. There's no bad days in all of China except for one place. It's actually so the world China hotel hotel. No, dude, this restaurant, dude, our hotel that we're, well, I don't even know if you're going there today, but the hotel we're saying it tonight is super nice. And I got in the room. I saw the day and I was like, oh, yeah, and I just sat on it and I just let it ride for a little. Yeah, I found the toilet breath. The bathroom situation is because in Hong Kong, it's actually immaculate because what it is in most of mainland China is squatting parties with no toilet paper. You have to carry around your own tissue to wipe your ass. You got to hear the fudge. Squat to shit. You got to hear it. You got to hear it. Go. We use those. No, they don't slap their tongue. They do have a lot of squatting. The squatts are bad though. I shouldn't want to night one. Yeah, but I'm bad at squatting like that. Yeah, it's fair. We all are. Oh, bad mobility. Yeah, like that. I squatting this morning. I got bad squats. I don't carry around. I was not prepared. I'm carrying around tissues. And also because I've been sick, dude, I had diary for like six days. Oh, you had mud, you had red butt. Dude, I've been, I've been like fighting. I've been finding rats in my body. I've been, I've been exercising the fucking the ghouls and the rats sing the monkey with you. Let them watch next time. There was a moment where, but he doesn't, he can't hear it. He doesn't want to hear what's happening. It's terrible. What do you love to see? He was really fun. Because the first, the first like two days, what I was, I was in the hotel room with Adriach. And I was having so much fun because I have to get up to go shit like every like 40 minutes. And then I would scream in the bathroom and like talk to Adriach while I was in the toilet. Yeah. But I had you and then you hear P5. What's wrong? I had to shit. I had to shit so much that this just wasn't fun anymore. Like it's like, you're having weird fun with it. I'm on, I'm on day three. I'm out, I'm out of bits. My ass hurts. It had to shit really, really bad. And he's like, he's like holding his butt as he runs up in the hotel room and he trucks in the shower. And he's like, dude, I just got to go. And he goes in and he just shits while Adriach's just in the shower. Oh my god. I can't imagine the smell in there. Like when your dad does it. He tried to wash his ass for him. I have already, like we've already been to like, uh, like bath houses and stuff together, right? So I was like, it's an emergency. It's an emergency. I don't get so funny, bro. I don't care if I see Adriach naked. And I'm like, you see the pin. Yeah. Multiple times. And I knock and I'm like, I really need to go. He's like, yeah, yeah, it's fine. Whatever. But then I sit down and I'm like, I'm like screaming. And I'm like, Adriach, it's like squid ink and triach. And I don't know how to tell a real, like plain sleigh of the spider on my laptop. Was it like that when you got the the FP dude? It was like everything inside my body. My body is like, get to get it out once. So I threw up like crazy, like everything that was in me. And then we, me and Michael were two different beasts. One of us only shits. The other one only throws up. He was the only shitter. I was the shitter. Oh, you were the shitter. I threw it initially like twice. And then I trash can like six times for it, right? Yeah. I did throw up in a trash can in a public street. And it was just bread. Is the is the theory? Just the bread. Oh, the gong and bread. Yeah. That's the gong and bread. Shit. That's the theory at least. I've never heard about getting sick. I've never gotten sick from bread in my life. No, me neither. But I had like a little like paste inside. Oh, it wasn't straight. Yeah. Do you think you got spiked? No, I think I tried to get you. I think what it was is just like day old bread that they were keeping out because the price for it was three for a dollar 30. You're like, well, a deal is a deal. I think it was like super, super, super, super, super cheap. You know what, but Jay, you know, I think, and I don't say this to harm you. I think one of my favorite videos you've ever put out, ever, is you just writing your bike in China for an hour, saying nothing. It is so serene. I'm not offended. It's, it's an amazing. Yeah. Is it going to hit? Huh? In that video. Well, I'll sleep to it. There's a way in. I'm like, we're on the side of the road. We're parked. A fucking car. Like, we're past the white line. That's scary, bro. You do a freeze frame on that shit. I got almost fucking killed my ass. Did you notice in the, in the moment or like, do you hear it in the video? I go, whoa. Shit. What do you think? After this trip, you know how with Japan, you kind of went through that and he drops his toy moment. You don't want, I don't want to play with it anymore. You're done. You're done. You were done. Are you done with China after this? Never going to talk about China again. Of course, of course, daughters are playing again. Oh, Japan's back in season. There's so much I don't know that we just, we were only questions, no answers because you can't look shit up. Yeah. And you really learned everything about Japan? Yeah. Japan, I got it all. I watched the billboards video. I'm good. That's an amazing video today. There's a day. And there's not a billboards. What? There's not a billboards. It's like there was a guy in there. Yeah. It's like a speaking man. Oh, dude. I got hit by it. I'm going to hit the locals down. You're going to hit the whole dad. Don't try it. I want to try it. I want to try it. I want to try it. I want to try it. I got you. They're right about everything they say about our country. Yeah. Everything they think about us. They're completely correct. Yeah. I'm in a taxi yesterday. Me and Michael are going to just get some Beijing cow, yeah, because he's been feeding for it all trip. I'm a Beijing tail. What did you say? Some Beijing cow, yeah. Cow, yeah. Oh, yeah. Even feeding. And we haven't, no spot does it really outside of Beijing or like a big restaurant. So we're on the way and the cab driver's talking to us. And I have a translator and like I hear what he says, but there's a buffer before the transitor hits and we're like, oh, we must be asking about like where we're from. And the transitor's like, so what do you think about what's happening in Iran? Cool. And I've been 18 days dry off of phone. It's developed. And I'm like, what's happening? So it's been getting pretty crazy. Yeah. It's been heating up. I thought it was just the IA tola and done. No, no. I think that's what they thought. It's kind of it's actually the opposite. Yeah. Sounds like we're going for thirds and fourths. And if you want to hear more about that, you can head on over to, no, no, no, no, no. You can head over to non-offending podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what's our funding. Take a look at the map. It's important to remember that we're all non-offender. Yeah. All three. Everybody is a non-offender until they're not in at any moment. You know, okay, I have an idea. It's tip to tip. This is your next destination. I've already mapped it out for. I've talked to Dan. I've talked to everybody. It's you and Michael in Switzerland, tip to tip on the search for Nazi gold. Wow. That's good. We have to keep going until we find it. I think we would have a very disappointing end. You would find a trove of it. All the skulls and shit. You think we would find it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm with it. I'm with it. I do this funny because people ask for pictures. I don't know if it's up to you. Probably not because he went to Hong Kong in Beijing. Has anyone asked you for a picture just because you guys are foreigners? I don't know. All right. Me? Yes. That probably is your talent. A man asked if I wanted to roll X. I got proposition for sex. Wow. Yeah. We'll not proposition. To pay for sex. Right. From a prostitute. In Hong Kong. You're leaving out a detail. They also thought he was a gay man. Well, no. So it was this woman. She's like, are you a tourist? I'm walking up the steps to get into the hotel and I'm like, oh, yeah. And she's like, you want a massage? I'm like, no. And then she's like, okay, I keep walking. And she's like, we have men too. Oh my. Well, now. You know. That's right. No. So I tell you, walk up into the hotel, walk into the room, they say we already sent him up there. A truck. And then he covers up and he goes, oh, and then he leads because he's like two old. His giant is 400 pound frame just like, oh, this is embarrassing. Do you have any food? Yeah. They take them to his room and one of the luggage trolleys and the wheel them into the elevator. So this must happen a lot, did it happen a lot to you? Like, people ask for pictures? Only happened once. Really? I think in big cities, like, you're just so much like, you know, right? You don't know. You only want the tear ones. Greetings from the future. Ludwig is dead. He's gone. But the problem is, I have access to all of his finances because I have his passwords and I have all his personal information that is still kept. You two. And the company and I kept it all and I hoarded it and I even might get it, but you got it? No, I got it. No, I have it. Listen to staff. I don't talk about the staff. The problem is all of his finances have all of these charges and I'm trying to get rid of them because I'm trying to get his money to make me money, posthumous and it sucks. There's hell of stuff there. Dude, he's got Hulu. I don't think he's ever used it. I don't think he knows what Hulu is. No, I think he thinks it's a Chinese word. We don't need to look at, we don't need to look closely at any of Ludwig's spending. It doesn't matter, but what I'm saying is there's all these things and I don't have the time to go through them because I'm busy doing other stuff with this staff. Well, did you know that Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions or Ludwig's, monitors your spending or his and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings? Do you understand that? Again, it works if it's not mine. It works if it's not yours specifically, yeah, because you have access to all his finances but if you just download Rocket Money, take all the passwords that you've put I think in the staff and you zap them into the app, then you can just delete all of his Hulu subscriptions. It'll put them all in one place and I can see his money can start making me money. It's not me. My account. His account. He's died. You can take all the money saved from subscription like Hulu or you know, like pharmacy stuff that gets into his house that he needed, that he isn't needing anymore and you can put it into the NASDAQ. Oh my God, it's such a relief from me. And money will make you more money. I thought it was just going to drain them until it was over and I wouldn't be able to play them. I'm going to mess with that though because it's like what if he was paying for another close friend's subscriptions? A lot of stuff. Well the beauty of the app is that you would see that also in one place. It would put those things which he probably doesn't have. Do you know about something? Is there a reason you're pregnant? No, no. It's just like we don't want to be too crazy with the cancel feature because it's like we might still be using it. I'm going to get crazy with it. I'm liquidating everything. That is my right. I earned this. Okay. I earned this when we started the company. It was Mirat's Dads in Ludwig and now I get everything. That rock and money is going homeless. That rock and money help you reach your financial goes faster. Try for zero dollars at rockamoney.com/theart. That's rockamoney.com/theart. Zero dollars and this staff of passwords. Let's get back to the episode with our dead friend Ludwig. I watched a lot of tip to tip. Our experience has been drastically different than yours. No. I think so. I mean, we went to like at most, it's your three city, like a couple million residents, you know, nowhere near the size of Shanghai or Beijing and places we would go. It's like George Clooney walking through an air wall. Say, everyone fucking stops. Exactly. There's this girl who almost fucking crashed her like scooter because she's driving sees she goes, "Why go?" And then turns and almost it's another guy. The guy that she almost hits turns after she says, "Why go?" So they both get off and ask us for pictures. Neither are mad about almost crashing. That's great. We did with the one place was when we went to the factory that makes the clothes for mogul moves in the yard. And that was in a smaller city where they don't get, they clearly do not get tourists. But it's still a huge built up city. It's not like a rural area. And literally like we left the factory to go get food and every single person that walked into this little shopping center where the food was stopped to look at us. How is the factory? It was cool. The chip shape loaded with kids. Well, a good thing you're not a fan, but now you don't like it. No, because this is in a working context. This is a strong working hands. You don't bring the offense to work. You keep that for play. That's for fun. No. The factory was actually great. It was that they're not all tall workers. Oh no. And our heads chin and the owner very, very nice. We actually got dinner with him later on in Hong Kong with his son too. Shout out Cyrus his son. He's just like a super lit 24 year old who loves basketball. He lives in America. What's his team? Lakers. Lakers, right? Yeah. Because he grew, he went to high school. He went to high school. I don't know what's NBA. What's CBA? Oh, really? CBA. CBA. Yeah. I'm with the Qingdao. Qingdao Eagles. Is that a real team? Yeah, Qingdao Eagles. The Qingdao Golden Eagles. Yeah. That's tight as fuck. We were talking to his son and he was like, because he went to college in America and he lives in America. But he moved back here recently. And he was like, oh, where are you guys like, where are you guys from? Like in America? And I was, we're like, oh, California. He's like, where? I was like, oh, I'm from so we're called Orange County. He's like, where? And I'm like, it's a city called Yerba Linda. Dude, he lived on my street in my house, where I grew up. Like when you lived there? Not like the cul-de-sac, but like my cul-de-sac spills out to the main road. But he lives on the main road. That's so funny. Him and Nick are having this insane moment. I'm like, show me on a map where you lived and I'm like, without moving the map, my house is on the map. Yeah. It was so crazy. And it's funny because we're in Hong Kong, but also he lived in a location that he can't even tell other people that live in LA where he grew up. They don't know where that is. And he was like, oh, and there was this older woman that was just a baby walking around getting the mail in shape. We're talking about my mom. This is the joke is you should take my mom and was walking around, you're blowing up. And Cyrus was like, holy shit, you know what? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Fred, go on, you know, really, she's so down, bad, bad, walking around, dude, I'm under this camera, this camera, she's watching, so I'm not gonna sit here and say that you aren't a babe, next mom. You're beautiful. Is that a crime? Sorry, I'll say it in China, too. Say it in Chinese. Log me up in China, Piao Yao, well, I need what you guys all get up to a load week was going on. Let me guess, slay the spire, yeah, jerking off with some non offenders, they get together, they with discord, tweeting that people, oh, so much tweeting. There we go, I tweet the same amount, I would always tweet, I don't like this. Three for three, I don't like it now. I don't like being lumped in because I went on a gigantic cultural tour of the country. We interviewed people for hours and good, uh, just, it's like when you, you know, you lose your breath at night. I'm, I'm fucking getting lumped in with two shbuck. Here's a joke. No, no, no, no, I fucking, you know what happened when you were gone. I lost 10 pounds. I became Minecraft YouTuber. I heard this. I watched the last yard episode. Okay. And, and I heard you talk about Minecraft is so embarrassing. What's embarrassing? It was like, it was like if Nick were to come to the pod and be like, dude, I discovered the NBA and then like listening to Nick's knowledge of the NBA. And then two guys who don't fucking anything. So I'm like, oh, wow, cool. No, they all thought it was funny, right? You're like, you're like in a light truck. They're like, oh, yeah, no, light truck. I think it's exactly, but I will say, and then the warden, but you don't have to fight the warden. You don't want to fight the warden. He's scary. I think the most, the most touching thing I've ever created. Unfortunately is me flying with the electric at the end of the Minecraft video. It's really, it's like an ironic Greek joke that like, that I demand. Like, no, more like a Greek hell punishment. Like I, I demand like the artistic, like endeavors from the world. And then the thing that makes people actually cry, literally actually cry was me playing Minecraft. Well, grandson, yeah, we flew to Beijing and I told them about how my recreation and Minecraft was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever made. I'm sorry. They like Minecraft here. It's on every TV. You'll see in your hotel. I saw a little kid running around the Minecraft. He sure don't. They call it MC. MC. MC. Do they? It's funny. Not Skellies in it. I don't know. I didn't get that because the only way I've seen it is on TV. They have some American YouTuber who does like shitty Minecraft animations. And they have like 2000 episodes of some story fully dubbed in Chinese. So you know the book, um, fucking three-body problem. Yeah. There's a scene for me. They're the first book of the second book in the series. That is a really intense action scene, but it's recreated in, I think, Roblox. And it's amazingly cinematic. It's beautiful. And animations and Roblox can be really beautiful. And it's a, it's like a Chinese like Roblox animator. And he made like a cinematic masterpiece of this piece of the book. It is on blue. It's beautiful. And it's in Roblox or Minecraft. I can't remember. Very different things. But yeah, I think I think your experience has been very different from mine. Yeah, 100%. I'm excited. I'm amazing. I saw the real China. You saw what people wanted you to see the tier ones, the big paintings, the flashy restaurants. You know, we're in the, we're in the mud. You're in the mud. We're in the mud. Dude, I saw the Chinese excellence. The, the, how they've built up their country. Yeah, proud proud. Didn't see was the 207 and how they're still building that fucking road. Yeah, they've got to build. They got a lot of shit in your motorcycle. There's excavator on the right and a compactor on the left. And you're like, should I be here? And they're just go, go on. Girl, I'll tell you that look, they're sweet and there's sour with everything. But let me say this, we walk out in the hotel this morning. And it was like a campfire in the air. Dude, so it's all. Oh my god. Okay, there's, there's good and there's bad. It's funny because you hear how bad the, the air quality isn't China and or like that they've improved it a ton over time. And every city I'd been to so far has been totally fine. And then I woke up this morning and I looked out my window and Beijing looked like dude. And I was like, dude, why does it look like a draw distance on a Nintendo 64? Like, like, nocturne, don't like rebuild the zombie window. Like, okay, how bad is the air quality? And I pull up the index. It's like so far in the red. It's like in that warning where like you shouldn't really go outside. And it's just like, we got one there, you should be where we are. Yeah, this is beautiful planet. They are trying to prove we actually looked into it. Because we passed like four billion truckers. There are, I think more truckers in China than people in Florida. Yeah, there's like 25 million. That's fucking, yeah, yeah. There's like, you know, five, six times more truckers here than America. And they're all going to have to learn to code. If we send every Floridian and every Chinese trucker, you know, and we put in a big field, no weapons. Chinese truckers win. You think 100% 100% Floridian is without their assault rifles. They have nothing. You have to bear mind that you guys are thinking about Florida guy weapons. He said no weapons, but they have weapons. Obviously the Americans went, but you're thinking of Florida man, but you're not thinking of Boca Raton elder. Boca Raton elder. Yeah, it's Florida. There are many, many frail people. What's that to a guy who's fought a gator? They don't play games. They do fight games. I see some of the truck drivers, bro. Like, they're kind of beast mode real quick. Though since you've been offline, update on Clavicular lately. So he's actually gone to jail. I'm not kidding. He gone, he went to jail for on camera. I'm just getting clickbaited. No, it's what's really happened. He magged dumped a pistol into a dead gator in Florida. And now he's, he's better. He's been arrested for that. Get it. My boy, Clav, wouldn't do that. Let's that gator says something real fucked up. And also, there's probably an Andrew Calhand didn't ask him good enough questions in that interview. So he, he wasn't having it. He's a pretty fucking left. Yeah, sorry. He left that guy standing on business and he kills offenders. Anything else I should know about? So yeah, I just wanted to keep you updated because I know I know that was probably on your mind. I'm trying to phone in 20 days. By the way, I don't, I think you, you failed a side quest of your mission here with, uh, with Michael and China. You didn't ask people whether or not Jack Black or Shohei Otoni was more famous. I didn't do that. I also have another side mission I still have to do today. I forgot about it. What do you think though of that side mission? If, if you had to estimate based on your experience in China, uh, I think they would know. Jack Black more. It's tough because I think they would, like, show how Tony has like the uniform. It's not tough. He like the picture of him. He'd be like in the Bay, they'd be like baseball player and it'd be tough for me to differentiate whether they know him or they're just looking at the uniform. Sure. But look, we watch a couple movies here. One of them is called seven three one. Seven three one. Yeah. Good flick or what? You guys know about that? No. No. Is this Chinese cinema? Is this black in it? Chinese cinema. It is Chinese cinema. Yeah, it's about, uh, Is it like wolf warrior? Nope. Nope. Uh, what you guys know about Nanjing? Oh, no. What's that mean? Uh, oh, well, oh, wait. Well, was that mean mom and dad? We watch this movie. It's called seven three one. It's about unit seven three one. No. Oh my god. Really? It's like, uh, yeah, it's like a fictionalized retelling of it. And it's like, it's a pretty gripping movie. They made a movie about this? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think they have a few movies about it. But this one came out kind of recently and we basically scroll through movies until one of his English subtitles. This is one of like 30 that have it. And it's like this really harrowing tale about like a true story of basically a genocide of people in like North East China. But we're watching the movie. And they say this line like two, three times. And it was drilled in a way that I feel like it's a thing here. They're just like, no Japanese go to heaven. Yeah. And then that was weird when you said that while we were setting up. Yeah, because me and Michael been saying it. So here's the deal. I don't think the test would be like a fun like, Jack back or show you, Tony, like you hit the wrong person. They're like, oh my god. Yeah, because he's Japanese saying that right after you give rich the chicken. This guy we met on the train and hung out with for a while. He was very, you know, very pro China. Dad in his 40s had a lot to say. We talked to him for a long time. And he came up in conversation that Doug was going to Japan after after we were done with China. And he just says he just says bad to go to Japan right now. Don't go to Japan right now. There you go. Is it why? It's no, we didn't explain. But it's politically like the uh, Turkey, you've been talking some shit about Taiwan. So it's the China state TV is like really hammering. Like don't visit Japan. Japan is not chill right now. I don't know what that is. What does that mean? You keep doing that? Is that like like okay or good? No, I mean it's bad. It means it's a little finger. You're the pinky, bro. You're the pinky. What's that? What's going on? You've been doing this though. Liu, Liu, Liu. Is that like rock out? Cool guy. Cool guy. Liu, Liu, Liu, Latte. Cool guy. But if you just turn it. Uh, it's bad. It's a middle finger. Bad. You're the pinky. You're the pinky. You're you're you're lower than so. You're the lowest of the highest. Yeah. Wow, okay. Good to know. Yeah, we've been learning some things. Got pulled over by the police. Really? What did they say? Was it on cam and shit? Asked too fat for the road. What happened? they roll you fucking thing man. What did you say? We fucked up. You fucked up? What happened out there? They take your passport. They're asked for everything. Did they hassle you? Or fucked up? Did they throw you on the ground? They're fucking kissing us. They spit on you. Spit on us. Did they push your breasts together? And then they said, "Push your elbows together." They said, "Take your elbows touch." They said, "That American pig, make your elbows touch." Did he take it and go, "Don't go, don't go, don't go." Hey, when you do that, you're just happy with the tongue. Yuck. Can't keep standing with tongue. It was, it was a, we drove to Aaron Hot, which is. She thought of Aaron Womboe, like we have that already. It's the, basically, largest border town between China and Mongolia. Also, where they discovered the gigantic raptor. Dick, dinosaur. Oh. It's funny. You go to Aaron Hot. You drive there. The road. There's two giant, long neck dinosaurs on each side of the road and their heads meet in the middle. And they're just tongue fucking each other. Oh, they're in love. Like they're tongue, but it's really aggressive with the tongue. Like they're licking each other's tongues deeply. Why do they make it like that? I mean, you think I forgot getting dinosaurs have the best sex? You saw some turtle backs. They invented it. They invented sex. They did not invent sex. I know. I think sharks did. No, man. I mean, you're right. It is something in the water, but at what point did it become sex? I feel like it's at one point. It was just kind of, we were just split and split. What was the first animal to give head? That's my question. That probably had to be a monkey. Probably a monkey. I bet it was a whale. No, no way, man. And the antithos are pretty old, bro. I think I like a Bronisaur is sucking another one off. No, maybe. Oh, what about what the long neck sucking himself off? Hasn't kind of his head. Yes, it does. That's a good question. When I do it, it does. So when they do it, it does. Why does this dinosaur have four ribs removed? How does it do that? What are some of your other, your juicy, your juicy stories? I don't know. They started kissing him. So they're kissing you. So what happened is we get to Aeronaut and it's a border town. And we're there. And we're like at the actual border. And it's like a really cool. It's a label is like a tourist attraction. So like these big gates that you see. And we're not sure if it's the border. We're like, is that Mongolia right there? So we go up and we're on the bikes. And there's like a guy working on the gate. And I'm like, can I? It because there's a gate blocking. He's like, no. And I'm like, oh, there's a little guy. If you're doing the charisma check, just fails. Oh my god. And he's like, that's that's Mongolia. Oh, guys, they're kicking us out, which is totally cool. So we're going to get it on the mobile. And we're going to continue this story where the cops kiss Ludwig on his lips. And we're back. Oh, well, well. Look who we found. Look who we found. Oops. I keep holding. I keep squeezing his hand. I'm with the hand burglar in my monkeys out. This is our third. You're a thrupple? And we're a thrupple. This is our third. That's beautiful. I got into something with the Chinese hand burglar. Do you guys know who is the leader of the hand burglar? Ronald McDonald. Ronald McDonald, surely. It's Mayor Micheese. Oh, that makes sense. He's the mayor. He's Ronald. Is Ronald just like a lit teenager? Ronald? Like, why are they overseas? I think he's more like a celebrity. It's like, it's like there's a mayor of LA. And then there's George Clinton. He's like, I heard Cruz. No, this is like, this makes sense. Lazy, like, Lazy Town had had a mayor, right? But the cool guy was the, he was the sportiness man. He was the sportiness man. Sportiness was the fitness man. Yeah, sportiness. Oh, so Lacy Town. Is this anything? Lacy Town. No. Lazy Town. Lazy Town. Lazy Town. The teachers you had to, like, be lit. If you did, you had a vote Republican. Yeah. Your eyes closed, not knowing what I think means to the mayor. Sorry, my children's show teaches the medicature. Y'all mad because Lacy's lit and he's up. He is lit. And y'all ain't up. By the way, this is like the picture of us with virtual where it's Aiden except this is me. Yeah. If I just get out. The yard, the yard podcast. He's so straight. It'd be a better home. No offense, it'd be a better pod. You mean that? He's obviously a non-offending French man. You guys. He's a criminal. Yeah, I'm essentially trying to get it on track. He's a criminal. You guys want to go steal some burgers. Yeah, I can really get, like, a burger for free. That's really funny, Bid. I'm hungry. I'm going to hungry and broke. Hey, we're 200 episodes in, man. You got to stop with burgers. You don't think this guy would burn down a forest? This guy-- Okay, chill, man. That's allegedly-- Damn, he needs some braces, too, bro. Yeah. You have one brace. It looks like-- Has he always had one, too? I don't know. I don't know if this is more like a Beijing's take on the hamburger. No, it's definitely just a hamburger, bro. This is what every American kind of looks like, and I think the Chinese mind. I think it's whatever French person looks like an American mind. Feel his hand. It's very like-- It's weird, right? You like it. Let him touch slime. Oh, please. Give him a touch. No, let him touch you. Oh. Touch, touch, what? Come on. Come on. There's a kid's park across. Wait. What happened with the police? Okay, so we get to the border. We drive up. And I'm like, is this the border? Can I go? He's like, no, you can't. It's fucking Mongolia. And then a border cop comes out. And he's like, he's like, you got to turn around. I'm like, all right. And we fuck off for a bit. Come back like 30 minutes later, we're shopping. And we're like, we both just-- We just want to have a toe in Mongolia. So I'm filming him right at the gate and Michael dips a toe in. And then I go and he feels me and I do this. I go, malicious compliance. But for state law. Oh, land mine goes off immediately. Michael's in seven different places at once. Borders between sovereign nations. Famously not a great place to fuck around for malicious compliance. You don't treat it like the dishes at home. We were there real quick, bro. And here's the deal. We just-- we just want-- Like, and I can say now, I've been in Mongolia. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. So wait, that was when you finished the trip. Yeah, it's like the very end. We just-- we dip a-- we dip a finger in. Don't think about it. Go-- we have an awesome dinner. It's much of yirts. Because Mongolians have yirts. Because they're-- No, I'm going to smoke that yirts. They're up here moms in Mongolia. And it's a nomadic trip. So they got yirts. And they have all these yirts. Little like recreations where they have like dinner today. We have a family. That's a beautiful night. There's a big fires fireworks. It's like-- It's like the end of like the legend of Zelda. It was like the end of-- The end of-- Yes, return to Zelda. Yeah, it's-- everyone's going-- Yeah, no. Who is the force ghost? It is definitely cam off 10 seconds. Yeah. And what are you kissing your sister? And everybody's having a nice time. Yeah. Oh, man. Dude, Luke was bagging his sister. That was cool. Yeah. And so we're-- And we go to bed. We're like, fuck, man. We did it awesome. Wake up the next fucking day. We go downstairs. Cops downstairs. I'm packing on my ship. They're with Dave. Okay, Dave's been like an editor along the trip with us. He don't speak a lick of Mandarin. So he looks at me. And they're like, they're like, do you speak Chinese? I'm like, little bit. And they're like, come with us. And they bring us to the hotel room. We gather the whole gang. And basically, they attract us from the border the previous night to the hotel we were at. And they had like two policemen. And like one, I'm assuming like fucking detective. Because he's like kind of his street clothes. And he's kind of leading it. Was he wearing stripes and have one tooth? And maybe looking for a partner. Yeah, and he's like, he's like, fuck, I could use a fucking phone. No, no, no. He was in the back of his squad car. He's like, I've already got one perp tonight. And now I got my eyes on you. Oh, man, I'm a cheese. What are you guys doing? You guys are in burgers, aren't you? I'm never cheese. I'm not defunding the police department. But they basically like, they're like, yeah, we saw you filming at the border. You're like, we're wondering what you're filming. You can't be filming at the border. And Alicia's, you know, speaks Chinese. So she's handling all that. We're just fucking dumb. They come and take a picture of each of us. And we're just sitting there. And they attract us down to where we were. And then they're like, looking through our cameras and shit. And they're all formatted already. They're like, what's on it? And then Dan's like, it's like nothing. And then they look through like my digi, and they're looking through the pictures. I'm like, those are my friends. There's Michael's buttholes. Right. It's way too bad. It's much a very tasty. Michael on the hotel bed like this. [LAUGHTER] Is there way more taste on that? It's Michael. The next one I love throwing up. Michael, he's deep-throating, like a long piece of bread because he likes doing that. He does. He loves, do you remember? And Italy, when he did it, the restaurant, like four times. He likes to put stuff in his mouth. He's like, eight in that way. They're like babies. So they're looking all through these pictures. They're looking all through the picture. They're trying to see if we have, like if basically we've been filming shit, we shouldn't. Because you're not supposed to film like, and it's probably the most tense part, is like any border crossing. How many cops are there? There's three. There's three. There's two cops. There's one who's like kind of smiling, laughing. One who's like, just fucking poking through all our shit. And then the detective who's like, you know, fucking arms folded. And he's like, so what's where you're doing, Zen? Well, well, well. You were hiding some Michael under house, yeah. And he's a powerful man. He's the one who's spread, isn't he? (laughing) - Oh, Jeremy, why did you, I think I know how to find him. (laughing) - He's pointing the cut. - And then come out of the steam bowl of rice and Michael drifts over with his mouth. (laughing) And then he goes, "Founds him." And we can't show any of the footage, basically. - Well, but you got footage of it? Who was filming? - Me and Michael are filming each other, do it. Like, put our- - Oh, you can't show the footage of you going in my way. - Yeah, oh, okay. - This, this altercation with the police was not filmed. - No, at one point, I'm like, "Ooh, it might be cool to film. "I whip out my phone." Cobb comes over, he goes, "Can't film." And I didn't even have my camera out. I go, I don't know what to say, so I go, "Well, the main you punk, y'all." It was just me, it's that's my lady friend, 'cause cutie attacks at me. And he goes, "It goes nice." (laughing) - Shoot. - But we're there for like a straight hour of getting grilled. - Whoa. - Yeah. - Did they leave pissed off? - They left fine. They're just like, "Fuck, don't film it." - Wow. - You can chill here, 'cause we're the hotel. This is great. - Not many have probably played the, I'm not touching you game with an entire country. - Yeah. Well, let's see, the thing about me and Nick is we're more guerrilla journalists than you and Michael. We don't get scared. When we go up to a crazy man's little room with a shower in it for some reason, we turn on the camera. - The police come to me, I say, "I've got a plan." And we're gonna hatch a plan. And we're gonna probably drop something. - First, we need a boss. We need a container to put your ideas at officer. What are your ideas? - I don't know. - He's like, "Well, I guess I don't have a boss." That's his ideas. I guess my policing turns around like box of ideas. Does that part, it won't have a box of ideas. Tell us more. What do you know? - He turns back. - We're gone. - This is a cloud of smoke. - Excuse me, dude. - What happened? - Dude, I just had the crazy street. - What was it? What did you dream? - We were all Chinese. We were in China. We were all Chinese. And we were doing the podcast like normal. - Well, well, sure, mega ran. - What was it? - Did it actually happen? We were at this place called View and Chill, which I felt was a very American. - Yeah, boy. - Yeah, boy, yeah. - Guys. - Oh, sure. - Hello. - You guys speak English, right? - I've been struggling to sleep, and I've been having these weird crazy dreams. Do you know of anything that could help me sleep? - No one understands you, Nick. No one will ever understand you again. - What? - I don't understand you. - You know what? - What happened? - How did this happen to you? - I could only hear Chinese, but I can only speak English. - What happened to you? - I don't know. I think it's my mattress. It's really lumpy on one side, and it's really hot on the other side. - I've done the mattress of terrorists. - Oh, no, it's the mattress. - I told you not to. - What do I do? I don't know how to get another mattress. - We don't. - We have feelings for each other for years. - I've had it for so long, but mine fell. - It fell. - Mine fell. - It fell. - Lucky for you. - They fell. - They've got a fall policy. - It's a fall policy. - And you could take, I know you could take the sleep quiz to get the best type of mattress for your type of sleep. - Do they have it in the end? - Do they have it in the box? - Your first question. - The first question on it is, do you want a mattress to tear? Most people check now. - You probably check, yes. - Oh, I should. - You don't like that. - And the next section on the sleep quiz is actually in the bottom right, do you toggle the language that you're most familiar with? - No, I didn't know this thing. - And you probably pick Chinese. - No, you're off to a bad start. - Look, we'll get you right. You got your sleep zones to customize your sleep, you get free shipping and seamless delivery in the US, a 120 night sleep trial, a limited lifetime warranty, all this in yours. Okay? - Where do I go? - You could go to godasheelixleap.com/yard for 20% off-site-wide. That's heelixleap.com/theyard for 20% off-site-wide. Okay? We'll get you right, and you won't have these crazy, weird dreams where everything is the same language, but different. - Okay, well, I'm gonna go back to sleep, and when I go to bed, none of you guys get Chinese again, okay? - All right, we won't. Let's hope you don't wake up in a restaurant in Beijing. - It's here at sleep.com/theyard. It's, yeah, you can just go. It just don't let it fall. - How many things are deleted or can't go in the actual show? Like, do you have a bunch? Do you have a little treasure trove? - Yeah, for sure. I was like a bun. Like, every day, there's some shit. Like, I almost hit a dude. - You have any cut jokes? Like, you're like, "Ah, it's a little too far." - Oh, it's way a lot. - A lot? - A lot. - You get a little edge of a Michael. - A lot. - That's what they did in Japan, bro. - They were saying some bullshit to each other. - We're saying some shit, 'cause we're talking to each other. You know, we're with each other every day. 24 hours a day. - Kisses, scissors, ink. - Kisses, like, we can't put that in. - Yeah. - Can't put-- - Saying crazy shit. - You know what, Nick said, the first day, the first episode came out. He was like, "If you want to tip to Tim, I'm like, yeah." The thing is, I can't watch it. I can't watch a whole episode 'cause I get jealous. Not necessarily of Michael, but I just wish I was there. And so, it's like this son, I can't watch it too much. - Right. - But he was like, but Nick was like, "Dude, they're in love." I'm like, "I know, bro." They're just in love with each other. You're just, that's your beard. No, cuties your beard, sorry. - God forbid I love 'em, man. - What'd you have to, you have to pick between Michael Reeves and Connor Dog's VA. - Ooh, yeah. - Ooh, between them too? - Yeah. - I shoot you three. - Yeah, I win her a fight. - That wasn't, it's we now. - 'Cause it wasn't a part of the-- - But yeah, I get it. - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. - No, it's cool. - I'm not offended by the way, so it's like, why would you kill you three, fuck on a marimite, go for sure. - Yeah, that was, you don't get to do it. - No, no. - You don't need a triple kill. - I shot all three of you. - I have three bullets. - You're three bullets? - Yeah, yeah. - So it's an FMK-K. - I do one if you want to. - And one bullet takes three of you out, and then I do two more, just 'cause for slime. 'Cause he's a big horse. - He's a big horse. - He's a big horse. - I'm just like, he's like, "Oh, man, I don't hurt please." - Yeah, there's an uncut version that you could make. That would be a bit ranch. - Dude, you should up on the uncut version of the Patreon. - Uncut tip to tip. - Uncut tip to tip. - It's insane. - That would be crazy. - Or straight up Billy Billy. - That would be the worst site to put it on. - Yeah, can they see it? - Why? - You're not coming back? - You've taken back what yours are ready. - But he wants to be let back in. - Yeah, I want to be let back in, bro. I still got a visa. - Don't want to. - I got a shit to do. I still got to go to Yunnan. - You said that. - What? - What? - It's supposed to be like the prettiest bar to China. - Ooh. - I do like-- - You're not casting a way that's to it. - No, I have many Yunnan, and I got a friend now, bro. I got Lee. - He's fucking around. I think he's going to touch down on American soil. He's going to have a big stinky arch, which is a new burger that came out from McDonald's. And he's going to have that. Don't let this guy hear about it, by the way. - True. - And he's going to sit down, and he's going to be like, you know what? I did 100% China. It's over now. - Well, you know about Lee, right? Do you see that upside? - Yeah. - I was the guy with the-- - I saw you got interviewed by Chinese state media, too. - Yeah, you got interviewed by a huge newspaper, so I'm showing this. - Oh, a local newspaper, that's why. - It wasn't even local, it was the provincial one. - Oh. - That was a awesome episode. - Okay, am I crazy? Does he look like Jeremy Renner? - Yeah, you're crazy, you're insane. - I feel like he does. - You're bash-it-crazy. - He kind of looks like Jeremy Renner. Am I crazy? - He looks like he'd be on the app, maybe. But he don't look like Jeremy Renner himself. - Now, we talk daily. - No. - Me and Lee, yeah, it talks him every day. - That's so fun. - Face time last night. He's coming to the States. - Oh! - Lee's coming. - We met a friend, too. - He's visiting? - How's a custom suit sound? - What about it for Paul Pierce? - What about a custom suit for Paul Pierce? - Okay, that's what I thought it was. You got lucky, by the way. - Was that? - 'Cause he's wet from three. - Yeah. - 'Cause I could've been kevagorn at it. - Yeah, I really could've said that about any basketball player. - Yes, and Paul Pierce, Paul Pierce could shoot. - The first day we got to Hong Kong, we were getting a coffee in the morning. It was just me and Nick. And there's this guy in a suit sitting at the coffee shop. He's an Indian guy. And I ask him where we can go get suits tailored. 'Cause I just kind of want to see if he has an answer and I kind of want to make conversation. And he's a British dude. Just almost disgusted. I asked the question, I would say. - Why? - 'Cause he's like, you guys get a suit, sort of an air of-- - I'm disgusted here, I'm disgusted. - And I was like, yeah, we need one for like a gag, we're shooting-- - Oh, we're only going to-- - We're going to have a call. - We're only here for a day. And he's just like a jay, like-- - I couldn't, and I immediately wanted to retract that I'd asked. I was like, I've engaged with posh British man. - He was got some British dudes. - Nothing to do. - So he was a stuffy Hong Kong British guy? - Was he Indian? - I mean, he's from Hong Kong. - He's British. I mean, he's ethnically Indian, but he was very British. - But he lives in Hong Kong for like six to eight years. - Yeah, so in the Hong Kong for eight years. - And then the hamburgers confused by these concepts right away. - And did he have a burger? (laughing) - What can you take from him? (laughing) - Yeah, he was a little bit of a devil. - The coffee shop did it have any burgers. (laughing) - I don't really know what this guy's deal was, but I think it was because we were saying like a mixture, we were being fairly confused. - It was a little confusing. - It was like, we need suits. And he's like, oh, so you want a nice suit. And he's like, well, does that be that nice? And the guy's like, so you don't want a nice suit? And he's like, well, we want to be nice. - Leave it to A-nover explain. I got it, it was a lot of overexplaining. He's like, we're shooting a-- And you can tell he didn't want to explain what YouTube was to the man, but he was like, we're shooting like a video. - That's why you just lie. Like, take a page out of me, Nick, and Ludwig's book. - My first question. - My first question. - My first question. - All I asked at the beginning was, hey, do you know a place where we could get suits? - Yeah, and that was your first mistake. - That's all I said. - That was your first mistake. - Just talking to the man. - You lied. We were at that restaurant setting up. (laughing) - You kept doing this thing. where he was pretending to the woman that was helping us that Nick was his boss. And so he would like rush to like put a chair near Nick and help him out. - If I start cleaning something loud, it was like, "No, no, no, let me clean that." - He's doing this for no reason. He's like, "He's my boss. I have to do what he's trying to say." - World of Daga. - Yeah, bro, that's boss. You good, by the way, do you know the water? - Me. - Yeah. - Why do you say that? - Boss. - Do you need boss? - Boss, why do you need a water? - Oh, yeah, I do. - Okay, yeah, I got you, boss. - Do you have a hamburger? You got a cigarette? Do you have any burgers left in there? - Dude, being here makes me want to smoke a cigarette. - For sure. - Yeah, man. - Everyone's just like, it's like a currency. - Do you want to try your first one? - No. - Nothing will happen to you. - You'll cough a lot. - There are three facts about China, bro. - Nothing will happen to me except the addiction. - Three facts. - One, but everyone smokes. - Yeah. - And kids tell us one kid I met 'cause we're getting gas. Five kids pull up on like dirt bikes and shit. - Okay. - I'm like, "Damn what the hell?" And we're talking a little bit and then they go to give me a cigarette and they look like high teens, really 20s. - Yeah. - But one of them looks like he's a 17-year-old. And so they all give me a cigarette so then I give them one cigarette back except for the 17-year-old, I go, "Mm, too young." And then they all laugh at him. Then he pulls out a cigarette, puts it in his mouth. - Damn. - And like I'm trying to, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I hold you, he's like 17. I'm like, "Okay, you smoke 17." He's like, "Yeah, I'm like you smoke 16." He's like, "Yeah, I get down to 11." And then dude, it's like, "Yep, that's when I started. 11-years-old, he started smoking." - Was he three feet tall? - He was tall as hell, actually. (laughing) He was like, "Cooler Aiden, bro." - Yeah. - He was tall, like he smoked. - If Aiden started smoking at 11, it would have changed everything. - God, you would have been so friendly. - You'd be so cool though. - But you're not. - You're just not. - Yeah, Chinese kids are cool, bro. Kid town? It was a place we went? - You say Kid Town. - Yeah, it's Kid Town. - You say there's something I would take up on your account. - Kid Town is my favorite episode. - No, no, no, no, that's Kid Day. - My bad. Sorry, confused. - Kid Town is episode 12. We go to Kid Town. - Oh, I miss that. - These two kids bring us to Kid Town. It's not out yet. These two bring us to Kid Town. It's like a pool hall with like a hundred kids and they're all fucking playing pool, smoking outside. - Camping. - They'll have their own, yeah. - Like that part of Pinocchio. - When they go to the Magic Island. - When you go to the Magic Island. - Yeah, with all the kids. - With all the kids. - Dude, it honestly felt like what '70s America was like. You can walk through if you want. - Oh yeah. - No, you don't have to apologize to worry about it. - You don't have to worry about it. - We're just hanging out with a hamburger, Glare. (laughing) - But yeah, the Kid Town, like the kids here are fucking cool. - Yeah. - They're cool, yeah, they smoke. Everyone rides a scooter. - Yeah, that's cool. - Like at age, like kids, like little babies are on scooters. - Yeah, you're charming. - Dude, our introduction to China was so stereotypical. We got off the plan. The first thing I saw was a video of a break dancing robot. And it's why I'm immediately had a robot make him die. - Yeah, I had the robot make me a boba drink. - Oh, hell yeah. - And it did exactly what I needed. - I think it was very different than Hong Kong. It felt, I guess, less like that. - We were saying auto-shape, we should get one of those for the warehouse and auto can, like, mount a 50-cal to it or something. - There we go. Like he could make that thing sing. - Yeah. - No more packages stolen. - They love having robots do shit here. - Yeah. - Like when we were at Jade Garden getting dinner, there was robots, like, picking up the glasses and the dishes everywhere. - It was honestly pretty undignified, I kept saying, because it's like there were nice weight stuff in this place that is trying to look nice. And then there's, like, these dinky, shitty, stupid robot. I hate robots. - We just hate robots. - I mean, I hate robots. - And your American mod makes you want to have them have guns. - You bring a fucking flipper zero here. You can just make everyone fall over, like, pleuribus. - Yeah. - It just passed out in the street. - Oh, yeah, the three facts. Everyone smokes. - Okay. - Everyone throws their segues on the ground after they're done. - I didn't do that. - They throw 'em on the ground. - Everything. - They did? - No, like, picked it up. - You threw it down the ground over there and stopped over there. - Oh, over there. But I didn't do it here, 'cause I'm here. - Sorry, I didn't realize we were talking about over there. - I'm just saying I'm near the hamburger alert. I'm saying right now, I picked it up, 'cause I thought it'd be rude, but I guess. - Yeah, the thing is, 'cause we've asked several times, 'cause I'm almost like, what if I put the cigarette and they just go, "You feed it back to the earth?" (laughing) - Yeah, the thing is, you feed it back to which it gets through. - You're kind of clean, because every single street, even the most rural area, has like a task force hired just to sweep. - That's cool, it stimulates the economy. We put the cigarettes on the ground. You guys pin it up, everyone has a job. - If you don't throw it on the ground, there's no job to have. - Exactly, well, you want robots to do that, too. - Yeah, I don't throw my cigarette on the ground. Everyone will be on a point. - Yeah, everything kind of crumbles beneath our feet. - It feels bad. Like, I've seen, like, I'm like in a cab, and the guy just throws a water bottle out. - I'm like, that's cool. - Oh, damn, that's, that's pretty-- - That's big trash. - Yeah, that's big trash. - Yeah, we left little trashes in the hoggog, so I had to edit the episode of the hard last week. And we hadn't eaten, and so I was like, "Rich, please, give me food, I don't care what it is." And in the mall, our hotel was above them all. In the mall there was Shake Shack, and I'm like, "Give me Shake Shack, fuck it, I'll use Shake Shack." I don't know what happened, but we kept the bag of Shake Shack on our bed. - Oh, like, yeah. - And when removed, there was a burger stain. - It like beat itself. - Yeah, the bag beat itself, and there was just a big burger stain on the bed, which I left and stayed. - It was really scary. - I don't know. - I can't think of anything else that was in the bag that would leave a brown stain. - Oh, really? - Okay. - There was a burger stain. - Whoa. - It was so gross. - It looks like I like, I like, I like, I ejaculated on the bed, but really big in the brown. - Have you guys doordashed? - No. - I was telling Nick about this. - Yeah, last night, Adam was saying that you can get a robot to bring you boba to your hotel room on any floor. - Yeah. - And I was like, that's the most lit shit ever. I tried for like an hour. - I think it was like the first night in Shanghai, A-Track orders, just food to the hotel, and he got three meals for $12 delivery fees included. - Whoa. - Yeah, I ordered some shit. The delivery fee was a dollar. I'm like, this doesn't make sense. - Whoa. - The economics aren't here. - What is some young guy showed us? He was like, here, let me show you, and I'll, like, order this, like, cleaner. It's like a $2 cleaner, all in shipping from Shanghai to Shenzhen, which is like the entire, like, coast of the country. That's how much it costs for him to ship that and arrive to him, and it comes in like a day. - For $2? - For $2. - What the fuck? - What did they figure out? - Yeah, I don't know about, but, like, that's so many workers are door dash drivers, and it doesn't make economic sense. - We interviewed one of the drivers on the, like, second or first day we were here. He was, like, 21 years old. He had immigrated for another province to Shanghai. And he was just talking about, yeah, like, literally works seven days a week. All I do is drive. And he showed us the app, like, how much money he makes. He gets, like, $7, you want, $10, you want to arrive? - $7, you want a dollar. - Yeah. And, uh, and he said he makes $10,000 a month, $10,000, which is, like, $1,400 US dollars. - Yeah, it's not a lot. But then, also, everything's fucking cheap as hell. - Well, wait. - What if, dream with me? - I'm dreaming. - What if we all became, what if we all moved to Macau for ten years? - You couldn't last. - For ten years. - He keeps saying Macau. - It would be awful. - No, we could become poker players. - What's the big difference in year two for us, than year one? - Well, we know a year's worth of more of information. - So, by year nine, where are we have a business together? - In year nine, we're probably billionaires. - Right. - Poker billionaires? - Yeah, we're Poker billionaires. - Okay. - Because we've played so good. - Right, we've done so good. - Yeah, we basically take Dumbledore's area for all he's got. - Right. - And then we banquerel Tom DeWon to get his money back from the Chinese. - Right. - So Tom DeWon's finally free. - He's finally free. - Free Tom DeWon. - He has to work for it. - Yeah. - And that's for us. - But that's because we become such a. - Do you know Tom? - He doesn't gamble. - He just deals. - He just deals. - Because I want to move him to Cal for 10 years. - No. - No. - Just say no. But don't string me along. - I didn't. - I said be honest. - I said be honest. - He said no, kind of, you run it up. - And kind of. - Don't string me along. - Yeah, I think it would be hard to live in China. Because if you lived to your 10 years, your 10, you'd have people coming up to you, being like, "Whoa. You're a foreigner." - Yeah. - Yes, be Chinese. - But we actually asked this guy. There's a dude we met that works at a university. He's like a program director there. White American guy. He's lived in Shanghai for 30 years. And I was like, "Doesn't it get. "At this point, wouldn't you get kind of jaded or annoyed?" And he's like, "Happens every time without fail." They like, "Can't believe I could speak the language." It's just kind of awesome. This is the way it is. - I guess you are constantly being flattered. - Yeah. - It's like, everyone's always impressed at you. - It's like walking around, like, bark a player in LA. - Yeah. - Everyone's looking at you, like, whoa. - Whoa, dude. Can I get a picture of you? - Love you a future here in a different type of content. I guess tip to tip was kind of this. But if you. You know, I thought white guys speak impeccable Mandarin videos. - Yeah. - You, but you still title it that. But it's just speaking the level of Mandarin you can't find out. And, like, everyone is just. Like, you're saying, like, "I am a cheese baby to people." - I could be gimmicky foreigners. - You never learned ten years of not learning a word. - gimmicky foreigners trying to be so easy. - It wouldn't be. It would basically be. Let's be monkey. - Yeah, the joke runs out pretty quickly. Chinese is such a funny language. And maybe ours is the same as well. But basically. - It's a beautiful language. It's tonal. - It is tonal. And it is beautiful. But you change one thing. And it turns from, like, "Hello. It's nice to meet you to, like, prostitution truck in my house." - Yeah, right. - So it's just so. You were saying cat loud. Just so many people. - Last night, me and Michael are just with, like, his phone trying to get, like, the translator app to understand us saying hotel. So we're just going. - Just asking it. - We're going "Judian." And we do, like, ten rolls. In all 10, it's like, it was like pig trotters like fucking slave shack. I was like, what the fuck am I saying? Yeah, I like, before I came in here, I was like, I got in a one phrase. Like I need like a go to and then the one, it was kind of a dumb one to learn. But I was like, do you speak English? I was just gonna learn that one. On the car ride to the airport, I'm like to my girlfriend. I'm like, we're saying it over and over and over and over again. And the first thing I do when I get off the plane is like, "Aden, Aden, tell me if I say this right." And I try it and he's like, "I have no fucking idea." I'm gonna try to remember it. I lost it because Aden told me it was wrong. So I was like, "Oh, I don't need it." I'm not gonna be able to say it right. It is funny. It was like one of the only things I can say. I can say, "Nee, Shu, something you ma." Dude, what the fuck? Nhi Shuau, Ying Wai Ma. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was it. That was close. You're showing the Ying. Ying is the word I can remember. So he's just going, "Nee." Say Ying again. Ying Wai. So you kind of miss the Y. Yeah, you skipped the Y. Ying Wai. Ying. Ying Wai. Ying Wai. Yeah, sometimes because when you say you're American, that draws. It's like, "Well, you're American." Because sometimes if it's like an older Chinese guy, I'm like, "Yeah, I'm British." But you don't have an accent? Ingloren. Yeah, they don't know. We're speaking Chinese to each other. So we got on the boat. Before the chop came for us. And we're setting up. And there's these two. There's these two, like maybe like 30-year-old Chinese guys that got on a boat near us. And they're pumped. They like yell across and they're like, "Are you guys like, where are you from?" And a lot of us like, "Well, you know, we're American in Chinese." And then his new bit is, "Where are you guys from? Are you Chinese?" Yeah. Yeah, if that's where I'm from, I go, "Megoran." And they go, "Megoran." And I go, "You?" We got a video and I go, "Maybe we can insert it here." But there was a beautiful transaction. Yeah. Love was like, "Do you want a cigarette?" And we had to back the boats up. It was like Michael Angelo. Yeah, and there was like a reach. It was like this. It was Genesis. And they took it and they were so thrilled. And they gave you what a bum ass cigarette. There was some bum ass Beijing's cigarette. And I gave him the fucking Hanan Gold Leaf. Yeah. But that's cultural exchange sometimes. I bought a pack 'cause that had a cool yellow monster on it. It was like a weird banana demon. But then they were so thin and they were feminine cigarettes. And you can tell by the time the pack. And I smoked one and then I became a groupress. Then I became a manu. What's a manu? Pretty lady. You got a manu, Maidan, which is. Manu, Shwaga. Wait for Shwaga. Wait for Shwaga. Manu. Shwaga? Yeah. I mean, you. Check, please. How do you say missionary? You know what I mean? You didn't learn that one? I didn't learn that one. No, it was not. Him and Michael don't do that shit. No, no, no, no. Why would he learn that word that he will never need to do? Maybe a swung engine. Swung engine. Yeah. What does that translate to? Missionary. Michael's looking at the top in that relationship. 100%. Yeah, you're a power bottom. Yeah, obviously. I think Ludwig likes the foundation of a bottom, right? They do all the work. Well, power bottom generation. You think you were doing all the work? Power. As the bottom, yeah, for sure. Yeah. I think I know the trip. No, I think we are. We are very well-oiled machine together. We require both parts. And where I falter, he picks up. And where he falters, I pick up. What are the strengths and weaknesses of you both on the trip? Like. I have boundless confidence. Yeah. You engage in an interaction or make a decision. And then he is DPS. I'm tanky's DPS. Like, he can, what, speak better? He's language is different. No, he's just more tactful. So, like, well, what will happen is I'll tank. And then slowly, like, I start losing HP because they realize I can't speak Chinese. And then they turn to Michael. And Michael, the whole time, just thinking of one thing. Ah. To kind of get us through the interaction. It sounds like you're like pickpocket. It sounds like you just go first and he goes second. I don't think that's right. What happens is because they're slowly realizing I don't speak Chinese. They give up on me. And they turn to Michael. You know, who is more of a. What have you? More renazion look. Okay. And they're like, oh, this guy knows. And he could say the same thing I say, but they'll get it when he says it sometimes. Interesting. Yeah, I think. Do they think he's wider age? They must think he's what? I think they think he's white. But, you know, sometimes maybe they have a question. I think to many people, you appear as Michael's dog. Are you. I was wondering after this. After your tips have been over. Are you pumped to go home? Or do you actually wish you had more time here to just enjoy it? No. And I can only be on camera. I think two weeks is a great amount. I think this was a bit long. Really? Yeah, I mean, just. Especially the food poisoning. Oh, yeah. Because, like, the days after the food poisoning were just shit. We were less confident in our Chinese. We felt worse. We're sad. And then it picked up again. So it was, like, nice towards the end. But I think we both were like, "Fuck, this was long." Do you think. Do you, like, feel your way less equipped than you are in Japan? Because it looks like that. Well, yeah. Because Japanese. You can do some. You can just speak in an accent and say English words. And that gets you a far edge. Okay. You can go to it, eh. Sure. To it, eh. My opinion was watching was that, like. I feel like you guys cracked it. Cracked into a code, like, not being as good at the language. I think it made the series better by a lot. Like, it was. So many of. I think what other people say are moments where. And, like, my personal favorite moments where. Where when you would go up to a guy and be like, "I am a cheeseburger, aka 47." And then the guy would look at you like, "What is going on?" And then that. Like, don't. Don't get any ideas. Those are, like, my favorite moments. But I feel like that just happened way less often in Japan. Because you guys got better at the language. Yeah, well, also, I think, in Japan, like, the way. Like, people, I think, were just less interested. I think people are very nice and very polite and, like, tried to help us as best they could. But here, I think, is, like, they just don't see many foreigners. So they were just, like, some people are just super-fuckin' pumped. Yeah. It shouldn't really happen in Japan. Japan has the opposite problem. They're kind of not trying to see foreigners. Mm. They're. They sometimes people get mad about the foreigners. Here, we go to a fucking random ass village. They're, like, you're the first person who's white, who's ever stepped foot here. You were the king now. Welcome. So, wow. Not the king. Not the king. What do you want to name it? No. That was way different than Japan. But also led to, like, I have, like, 20 people's WeChat. Oh, wow. You should get to have a group chat and you should just send updates every quarter. With all these people. Every physical quarter. Every physical quarter, nickingly, types out a giant Chinese message in the WeChat group. For all the people that went metal on the way. I've genuinely spoke to someone, like, two words, and I got the WeChat. I mean, some don't probably keep in contact with for a little bit. Yeah. Dude, Leo, be a lifelong friend. Did you see it? Maybe you did see it. But someone. It was an April Fool's joke, where it's, like, you went live on April Fool's Day. I think maybe it was a screenshot, or someone did it as a joke. Maybe it was Tim or something. I don't know. But Yingling freaked out on Twitter. And he was, like, "Oh, my God, is he back?" And everyone was clowning the shit out of Yingling. Wow. He fell for it. And he's the Yingling. He's the guy with all the tools to not fall for it. He's the guy that speaks for it. Yeah, but he's also the guy who falls for April Fool's jokes. Every dude, he was. It was like. I felt kind of bad, because it's, like, this is the thing that makes a lot of you four, and it happened to you. That's so tough. That's so tough. You want a little Chinese tip? Yeah. America? How does the nod work? Like, if you see someone walking by, how do you nod at them? Oh, you go up. Kind of. Kind of. You go up if you know them. Down if you don't. Sure. I like giving up nods even if I don't know them. I know. I think, personally, I think down nod is, like, I'm trying to get by you. Like, that's something you don't know, yeah. But even if I just see someone, and I'm walking by it, I'm trying to say hello. I'm going like. That's usually someone you know, right? No. I'm a person. I'm an up nodder. A lot. I love up nods. What do you do? I up nod, if I know, my down nod, if I know. Up nod is, up nod is, up nod is, hello. Down nod is, like, I'm needing something. I think your rubric is what I do. Excuse me. Without thinking about it. That's what it is. What Shwagas do is, up nod, if you know them, down nod, if you don't. Okay. I don't know what the main news do. Ollie, that's you guys. Japan is. You know, I'm not a menu. I'm not a menu. I'm a. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I'm not a menu. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I'm a Shwagas. I haven't talked to you in my whole life in like six months. The first thing I said to him is, "Are you flying to Israel?" Yeah, I heard that. Ronaldo McDonald. I wonder what they call him. He's a fresh-painted McDonald. I think they do rounds. Dude, this is a nice McDonald's I've been to. This is exactly how I think I looked at everyone here. I see you walking around and they see this. Yeah, they see Ronald McDonald. I think I see Ronald McDonald. He should be a legendary ballature card. I don't know why he's not. Wow, that's a good idea. The McDonald's collab? Yeah, to be sick. Oh my god. You're a thinker. Think of the merch. The ballature of McDonald's merch. Look at that hat in the tee. I'm surprised they haven't made him a magic card. Oh, hey, with that dumperman, I don't know. You're a little big. You're kind of breaking up. I don't know if you should. No, you gotta break it up. Sorry. Oh, I can't sit on Ronaldo. Sorry for my large friend. Oh, I can't sit on Ronald McDonald. I'm sorry. It's just-- I'm sorry. OK, so real quick, what's your Rosebud dorm? What's your highlight? Or maybe all of China? Yeah, all of China. I think the Rose is like the people I've met. Like, there were some cool people in Tip to Tip 1, but like-- Oh, they got Wendy, too. Who's Wendy? I actually don't know that one. He's a chicken. Oh, like a nugget. She represents nuggets. She represents getting eaten. I can be, too. Hell yeah. Yeah, I think probably the people, because there were some awesome people. But I'll probably keep in touch with, too. Life long forever, friends. I'll watch you all guys. Oh, that's a sick fit. That's a sick fit. And then-- My bud is like looking forward to. That's funny to say, because I'm fucking leaving. He said Rosebud form. I prefer high-medium one. I prefer stem. I prefer stem. Oh. Yeah, the bud is the middle. That's not what it is. No, no, no. The bud is the thing he's looking forward to. It's not a road bud sovereign. Oh. It's just a worse format. So we adjusted this to stem. My stem? Yeah, with the most middle part of your trip. Is probably the driving. But don't you love the motorcycle? I love the motorcycle. There's just some bead-ass roads. And the Chinese question. How-- What percentage of when you guys are driving are you talking to each other? Like, not on the video, like, in real time. Oh, it depends on the day. Like, the sick day, like, very minimally. If it's raining or cold, or a mountain pass very minimally. Oh. If it's like a nice day. And we're just riding. We're talking, like, pretty much a whole time. Wow. Is there any time that you guys are mad at each other? No. He thought he spit on my hand once. And he asked me, like, 100 times as far as mad at him. Oh. You should have just a mess with his head. Yes. Well, if he asked me once. And I was like, no. I don't get anything about it. But then he kept asking us to joke. He goes, you're mad at me, aren't you? No. We never really get mad at each other. That's beautiful. Look at that, Rich. That pretty ass view. It did clear up quite a bit. The morning it was pretty bad. This is the chop, by the way. No one's allowed to be on the water right now. Yeah. There's some chop out. Not a wish. I really wish we were on the water. How come my thorn is that damn chop? Oh, wait. Oh, really? Oh, we going? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. I thought it was about it. I heard if you walk back over there, letting seasoned American captains out on the chop. Okay. I did hear that. But if the thing is, I'm trying to take the day off. Okay. I've been on the water for a long time. Hmm. Not really interesting. Get back on the chop. But sometimes you want to. What's the thorn? Outside of the chop. Outside of food poisoning. Outside of the chop. Outside of the chop. And food poisoning. Yeah. Shit. Probably. Probably the Chinese language. Wow. That shit. That shit is horrible. Yeah, you guys are not very good. But I'm actually impressed at how good you got. It just feels sad when you get to a long day riding. It's raining. And you're like, where's the hotel? They're like pig trotters. Are you hungry? Are you hungry? You want a restaurant on the ground? And I'm like, no. Judy and they're like nine o'clock. No, it's six. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, it's just real hard. Saying cat loud and getting the doors slammed in your face. Yeah. And I can't blame 'em. I can start them fucking up. I definitely, when we were in Hong Kong, like, I was like, oh my god, everyone speaks English. It was so nice. And the moment we got to Beijing, the first person I needed help from it, I talked to. I had no idea what I was saying. He lost his passport. Yeah. Well, I left my passport on the plane and I de-boarded. Well, you're an idiot. And I was just like, oh my god, I love the passport. We're downstairs waiting in the atrium. And they eventually ask us what we're doing. So we've been there for like 25 minutes. And they're like, what happened? And where our friend lost his passport. They all instantly laugh. Yeah, they just were laughing. Yeah, that's the worst thing. I had to go bang on the glass and like all these people were like, like, scared because I'm making all those noise. But like, I had no option. I'm just like, I need that. Like if I don't get that, I'm buffed. Yeah. And so I'm like, this woman runs over. Everyone was very helpful. But no one could understand what I was saying. I was like, passport. And they're like, I don't know. So I just like, to the translating thing. But they needed to know like my boarding information and stuff. And I didn't have any of it because it was in my passport. Yeah, that's what you need, bro. You need to know the word "hujao". Whojao was I mean? Any y'all up? Passport. Any y'all up? Not those guys. What the fuck does that mean? I up-noted those gentlemen. No, I didn't. I'm up-noted. I did. Any y'all up? Dude, the walkers? Huh? Dude, the motorcycle drivers don't wave back here. Ah. Oh, there's no mutual respect. It's 'cause there's 9,000. Oh, my truckers. No, scooters are not motorcycle drivers. Hey, truckers? Who's stopping? Wrap up here? Tell you a wrap up. Do you want me to wrap a ball of China? Like, all of it? All of it? I guess? It's the friends you make along the fucking way. It's the chop that you drive through. Okay. All right, well, that's been the arm with Ludwig of video games and now China. Well, he's boy. We're reunited. It's nice to- It feels so good to be reunited. Especially you guys are still my friend at the end of this, honestly. Ah. You were disgusting this whole trip. I've never offended. I don't understand. And he never will. Until he does. Anyway, when you see us again, we'll be back on our big fake set that looks like it's outside, but it's inside. Everything will be back to normal and Ludwig will be collabbing with Lacey like God. Why don't you rotoscope in a shark? Oh! Oh! Oh! Great.