Ep. 240 - Slime Finally Won..

(upbeat music) - Ain't stress is you out. - Ain't stress is you out. - Ain't stress is, - Ain't stress is out. - Ain't no one suffers from it, D&D. And I hate that. - Why does D&D suffer? - Because if you liked Aiden more, I think you'd make more time to record you and do it with us. - I'm not gonna jump on that side of the fight. - I think it's an Aiden. I think it's Aiden. - I think it's Aiden. - Dude, I think it's an Aiden. - It's an Aiden thing. - The Aiden. - He's right. - That's all I'm trying to say. - You're accepting both promises that you both come with Aiden and you also don't make time for D&D. - I don't make time for D&D. - Because it's clear. - Because of Aiden. - Because of Aiden. - I love being proud. - I need a break from the Eps. - And it's because of Aiden. - It's because you have to sit next to it. - Is it the smell? - Right, next to him, it's everything, bro. He doesn't even roll the dice correctly. - Well, how? - How does he roll the dice? - Dude, do like an Aiden roll. - Yeah. - How would he-- - 'Cause you don't know what the fuck a D20 looks like for the 40th episode on. - Oh, s**t. - He's fours. - Dude, I can't roll a 10. - He can't roll. - He can't. - He can't roll. - He can't roll. - Dude, I found out recently 'cause we had to do a couple episodes of that lottery going, fortunately, 'cause Dave's schedule and Ludwig's schedule, but-- - Stonebeard's gone. - Stonebeard's gone for a little bit, but I found out I wasn't adding my plus eight to my-- - And even the tackles. - That's why I was feeling-- - I feel like for hating the roll. - Yes, yeah. - Ever. - That's dude, that's-- - In the early game. - It's crazy, you still hit like a lot. - I know that pretty good. I'm pretty lucky. - Yeah. - But otherwise, I was like, yeah, these fights just seem hard. - Yeah. - Game's hard. - Yeah, I found that out like the other day. - How, I mean, I can't imagine a world without Stonebeard. - I just don't even play. Don't even start with-- - We just did a world without Stonebeard and guess what, it was fucking electric. - That's what you guys fucking said, and I think you said it's made me jealous. - No. - Hey dude, we were not just talking about you. - Not at all. - Why don't you have a seat right over there? - Why don't you have a seat right there? - I heard you've been messaging this 14 year old girl. - I have a seat right there. - Yeah, that's how I see it, just how I see it. - I have, and that 14 year old girl's name, Scott Galloway. - What about that? - I don't know. - He's like a baseball. - He's a 14 year old girl. - Scottie, 14 year old girl. - That I do Zoom calls with video chats on. - That's really cool. - And she's bald and has glasses. - Oh my God, ew. - And is really concerned about the economic prospects of the young people. - Who the fuck is Scott Galloway? - It's a 14 year old girl. - I think he's very clear about this. - Oh my God, I was doing a joke and it turns out my best friend. - Oh my God, there she is. - She's dude Aiden. - She's too fucking young. That is true. - That is disgusting, brother. - You talked to that guy? - We were talking about how you don't know how to roll dice on D&D. - Yeah, I'm pretty sure. - Physically you don't. - It's weird 'cause it's only when it has to do with the crap. - Bowblown idiota. - Yeah, he made a crap, dude. It's a whole thing. - It's a really interesting crap. - It's very interesting. - And you weren't there. - I know. - You left to listen some other time, which I hope you will. But baby, will, maybe you won't. - That was you. - Anytime I'm not here, I always listen. - I listened to the one you guys did while I was getting my devastating life-threatening surgery. And I was, it was funny 'cause you guys called me out what I'd be mad about and then I messaged Nick. I was like, I'm still right and you're still wrong. - He was mad about it. - He was mad about what? - 'Cause you said you heard the pizza place in New Hampshire and then he, it was a couple episodes ago. You guys did a bit where you were told you were making million pizzas and you explained where you used to work and how you could make a million pizzas. - I was blinded by a million pizza raged during that, I don't even hear that part. - It's a great bit and then I, a to Nick, I'm like, you shoulda fucking remember. I am fucking right. If I work 'cause he said he coward like a dog. - Yes. - I was like instinctually flinched. - Yeah. - And I was like, oh, there's nothing to hurt me. - And I was like, if I was there with the newspaper but fucking, I'd be so swift. I put my hand up, threatening to hit him. - Yeah. - And he flinches every time. - Yeah. - I mean, nah, he's never- - Not flinch. - Just cutie still do it. - Hit him? - No, flinch. - No. - No. - Like our real elderly, it's two, you get two old to hit. So you just do the motion. - Yeah. - But before that, it's you can hit. - Dude, you can hit. - I was just sitting, brushing my teeth, upstairs in the bathroom, swift walks in. And I took him out to go potty like five minutes before that. And he just starts shitting in front of me. - Yeah. - And I'm like, bro. - We were outside for 15 minutes. - He said, no, no, don't look away. - He just starts shitting, I pick him up mid shit. - Oh yeah, but then I bring him out. And it starts just dropping. - It leaves. - It leaks. - It just drops. - It's wet or dry. - It's dry. I was dropping like a deer. - Okay. - That's it. - That's honestly a blessing of the day. - You know how when like reptiles are scared, they're running away, they let loose all the liquid excrement in their body. - No, what the fuck are you doing with lizards? - No, that's, no, that's cool. - What are you doing with a lizard, bro? - Anyway, no, that was probably a good job. - The hell did you learn that from? - The hell did you learn that? Fuckin' weirdo. - It's actually like really. - I don't think, what did I say? - Hey, Chuck. - Hey, Chuck is the same thing when it's a guess he doesn't like. - What'd you hear? - Fuckin' excrement away. - Did you guys see my hospital video? - Yes, dude. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - I like, dude, I got back from this. - Yes, I got back from this. - Everybody knocked your fucking thing. - I cut all these videos. And then I just spent the whole day comment gooning. - It was very fun. - I saw jokes were funny. - I saw all the raw footage of the movie. - Yeah, I just want to say, I don't, it was something I'm very, I guess proud of myself of. I didn't, I woke up, I don't remember half those. The first half of those videos, I literally don't remember. And then I kind of come to you and the idea that I'm doing this. - Is this your Steve O'Jackass moment? - What's that? - He didn't even remember doing a half the fucking pranks. - It's, it's more that. - I was so fucked up, I didn't even remember the fucking pranks. - It's more that when in my sedated. - I didn't even fucking remember my fucking bitch. - In my unconscious pranks. In my unconscious mind, I just went, I woke up and started telling everyone that my penis was gone, that like by innate nature. - Yeah. - And then when I woke up to like a memory codified state, I was like, oh, that's what we're doing. - And you continue. - And I just continue. And it's very weird to look back and see those, like I don't remember that one. - It's better than when I do that one. - One I'm halfway to the fucking death zone. - What do you do? - I'm gonna kill Scott Galloway. - Scott Galloway. - I'm gonna shoot the 14 year old girl named Scott Galloway. - I just received info from about Scott Galloway from a peer who has just met him in real life and talked to him extensively. - And that information is gonna help me take him out. - And it's going to directly correlate. - Dude, who's gonna be the spiciest guest that fucking dumbass over that bald dumbass interview's right there? - Oh, that's a great question. Aiden, don't answer your nonsense. - Welcome to Quintess. - Yeah, right? Like, what? - Dasha did it. That bitch. - Quinto. - That's what they chucked. (laughing) - My column. - Quinto. - It's Naku Kharaksha. - All of the Nazi arm band. You wear that every day? - You look like a weird arm man. You wear the arm. I try to wear arm bands. - You're like, we're also like a joke, though, joke. - Little joke. - You selling that Epstein hoodie? (laughing) - It could be, I mean, we joke about it a lot, but Nenya, who is, you know, you're getting up, you're climbing the ladder of interviewing people like that. You should have Lex Friedman on, and then just honking, like literally making podcasts from a locker on the set. - You should have Lex Friedman on it, and you should make his chair vibrate. - So we'll do all that. - Okay cool. - We'll just do all of that. - Speaking of man, huh? Mr. Beast fucking took you away. - He did a hug me. - He put you in a box. - He did a hug me like a man. - He also fucked everything up. - Did you try to end the edge? - No. - You can just say who won, or who didn't win. - I could say some shit. - Oh, it was cool. You hung out with a lot of awesome streamers. There was Neon. - Yep. - Anyway, we have my boy Neon, we'll have my boy Egg. Okay, I got three questions. - Yep. - One, who gets the most pussy? - Two, is Neon Lit, or cringe. - Mm-hmm. - In three, was there palpable beef in the room? - No, there was palpable beef. - Really? - Yeah, so the first challenge, see the only thing I'll leak, but the first challenge was everybody's portrait, just on a wall. And everybody had one shot in a paintball gun, and you shot who you wanted to get out. And let me tell you, there are some people whose portraits fucking got lit up, like the Mona Lisa in a damned global warming protest. - Like a woman trying to fix the Mona Lisa. - Yes. - How many shots did you take? - There was a lot of shots levied. How many shots did I take? - How many people shot you, man? - I, I tanked two, but two shots of 15. - They were fucking who? - They were misfires. - Oh, they were, oh. - So you were just beloved and your fans have bad aim. - I was beloved, yeah, I guess everyone fucking loved me. I don't know, is that fucking weird? - Oh, man. - And it was just other streamers as the people who were trapped. 50 streamers in a bot. - I think what I've learned over the years, and we've seen these events where many streamers come together, even once by, you know, like streamer games and shit, it is an insufferable environment, 'cause they're all trying to climb the top of the pyramid of attention. And it's like one guy on the street running around with a camera is enough, but then it's like a bunch of them or whatever, and they all just, they're all, it's like the theater kid Olympics. - Did you watch? - No. - Right. (laughing) - Am I right? - No, I think we ended the conversation. (laughing) - If I'm wrong, if I'm wrong, it means the Mr. Beast environment calmed everyone down and they acted differently than they always would. - And what does that mean? [BLANK_AUDIO] - "Sedatives to get kicked in." - I tuned in to your stream from there. - Yeah. - And I felt like I crack open this alt world where I'm looking at your stream room but a little different with different lighting and you're speaking French to a French streamer. And I started to imagine that this is the Ludwig, this is just like alternate reality French Ludwig who still becomes a Twitch streamer. - Dude, I could be right now. I could be such a successful French streamer. - Yeah, it's a small pool. - What did you do about not knowing the language very well? - Huh? (laughing) - Oh yeah, that'd be like that's like a big issue. - Wouldn't be a problem, actually. - That dude, you're talking to like like damn French boy in a band. - And then he played a French boy in a band. - Did you see this? - Yeah, so he plays Frenchman and then he'll talk about fucking their sister and then a man, it's an amazing clip if you don't know who's the background. And then a man walks in and you're like, oh, and then he finally says like, fuck sister and they're like, start laughing and sits down Mr. Beast Big Teeth. Bond your, it's insane. It's insane, media piece, this clip. And I love to be in the shadows of this is this world of yours? - Yeah, I wanted to show the French world your song. He didn't love it. - Why? - He didn't understand. - I'm French. - Why didn't he, he was like, those things, he's like, so he's saying every Frenchman, "What the fuck is he staring?" And I'm like, yeah, I mean, that's kind of dream come true. - That's the premise of the song. - And he goes, and he goes, we don't all fuck our sister. - Oh, yeah, but the cows. (laughing) You don't have to be as strong, and you can expect. - And I was like, what was the song actually addresses that? (laughing) - Oh, man. And then he keeps saying he was like, we're not all in bread. (laughing) It is just a moment on the plane to France where I said, wouldn't this be funny and then it became something I did not stop saying for like a half of a video. - You finally clip. I think it maybe is on. - It's on my daughter's Twitter. - Dude, yeah, that's also a meme for context. He's like the biggest French streamer. - Is he in the race? - He is, yeah, he is in the race. - And the race, the video gets a machine race. So you did. - You're talking about the-- - That machine. - Right. - You're the beautiful machine. - I remember because I thought his name was anime. - Yes. There is a guy called a meme as well. - There's a meme. - There's a meme in a meme. But anyway, a meme is the most-- - He's like, he's like-- - He's like, he won't only tell lies and won't only tell us the truth. - Yeah, exactly right. - And he's the hardest young boy to come out of the French world. - Okay. - Crazy to say age. - He's the hardest young boy. - How old is he? - He's a little over in the Scott. - A little. - He's a little over there. - A lot, but like in least six years, all these guys-- - He's French. - Maybe he's French. - He's French. - He's a French man. - He's speaking of unrequited lust. There, Kelle, I'm in the office right now. Kelle, we in Christian. And then Christian's just like, who's Vinny Hacker? What's he do? And then Kelle, we kind of like stop. Takes his hands off his keyboard, turns around. He's like, Vinny Hacker is amazing. And he's just-- - Kelle, Christian, you know how he is? He's just like, oh, wow. And then he's just like, well, he does cool content, but he's also super hot. He's just fucking hot. And I'm like, Kelbo, relax. - Jesus, Kelbo, you're getting steamy listening. - And I was like, don't tell your girlfriend. He said, no, I mean, look, if Vinny Hacker wants her, he can have her, he's making a joke. I'm like, Kelbo, I'm talking about you. Like, that's a young man. Like, you're cheating on your girlfriend if anything happened. And he's like, oh, he would never want anything to do with me. It's all happened. And I was like, you have a little crush, don't you, Kelbo? And he's like, he would never want anything to do with me. And I was like, what about like a Dilph adventure? - Oh my God, Kelby's Dilph adventure. - Kelby's like-- - He's like-- - He's a Dilph adventure. - He's sponsored by Red Bull. - Oh, I'm more open, probably. (laughing) - Kelby's Dilph adventure. - Kelby and my girlfriend, bro. - What? - I'll never-- - She thinks of Vinny Hacker's hot. - Oh, yeah. - Oh my God. - She's right. - And she saw him across the party and she was like, is that Vinny Hacker? - Oh my God. And I was like, he's hot. - He's hot. - Yeah, that's Morgan. - And then she was like, he's kind of my crush. (laughing) And I was like, what? (laughing) And I'm standing there in my playboy bunny costume for her. - Yeah. - You were on a diet. - Yeah, what am I? - That was a job to us. - I will say to her credit, every time you weren't around, she would be like, do you see him? Do you see Aiden? (laughing) - Yeah, Vinny Hacker is breathtaking. - Wow. - And the Vinny Hacker versus Marlin's streamer Morgoth. - That'd be cool. - That'd be a good undercard for, well, angiogenics, Paul. - Marlin is like, he's like, comically hot. - Yeah. - He's like, if you draw a hot guy in a cartoon hot, - Yeah, he's a player. - So he's, you know he's hot based off, if you just look through his TikToks. 'Cause every TikTok, he doesn't say anything, and he's just goes, "No, my God. (laughing) You can run that shit." - No. - You're the older now, you can run that shit. - No, I can't. - You're handsome with the fun. - I think if he started, I think it's too late now. - It's way too late. - I think if he started from the beginning, 'cause he will now kind of, he's-- - Maybe if I started from-- - Also, I like-- - Literally 40 and doing this kill yourself. - That's a bring back such an ant to quit a term, but he's just, he's been a gestor good for too long to be-- - Sure, right. - But also, I couldn't have done it when I first started, either. - You could have been-- - You could have been-- - You could have been-- - Yes, you could've known. - No, you could've pulled my YouTube channel. - No, I actually don't play that clip first. - Oh, it's-- - It's unbelievable, yeah. 'Cause I was like, who's standing there? And it's like a fucking AI video prompt. - It's damned Mr. Beast. - Oh, if you both, you had just screamed. - In fear? - Oh my God. - And a clutch of my screens. - Yeah, that is perfect. - Just make everything better. - Yeah, go to my YouTube channel. I'm telling you, I looked at an old clip of me, bro. I was beat. - You were beat. - But yeah, and I know you guys have been glazing my shit. You've been my tip for damn eight years. - Let me get under the stand. - Like oldest? - And then scroll down a bit 'til you see my face. - I don't know, bro. In melee and shit, like all the girlies were like, they were fawning over you. It was a real deal, bro. - Dude, you guys were fawning over me. - Yeah, I'm gonna show you. - How does fuck? I'll fuck the shit out of you. - Shit, I'll give you a chance to fuck the shit out of your ass. - So I have a nicer camera. - If I could just fuck the shit out of you, you let me fuck and rock your dumb ass little gay world. Be crazy. - Literally, if you're looking, you're scrolling until you look beat. - And you know, I was scrolling until my camera wasn't a C920 because a C920 takes out all your blemishes. All right, any of these are fine. (laughing) All right, we're looking at, dude, yes. This is the guy. - This is the guy who you were fucking dealing with. - Yeah, but this guy, and I can't look away from all your blemishes. - This guy had 99 matches in the corner at Tinder. - We know exactly the same. - Wait, you know I'm way harder now. - You look exactly like this guy now. - You have this idea of how this is crazy. - No, it's not my hair. It's like you have the 90% of the foundation, and then you do faces like that, which is hilarious also. - You have, you have maybe 15 to 20 extra times. He's making us glaze him. - Oh, I found it out. I found it out. - No, it was a little too late. It was a little too late. Shut up. Shut up, buddy. - Yeah. - Shut the fuck up. - Yeah, I can't look away from all your blemishes as the phoops. Guess I look fucking good. - I'm not, okay, I don't mean this anyway. - Fuck. - I guess I look fucking good. - I guess I do. - Did you close the tooth gap somehow? - I would. - Oh, that's a lot of hair in that tooth. - It's bigger. - It's bigger here. - It's bigger here. - How did you change, did you, dude? - How did you change? - Are you wearing visline secretly? - Wait, I have a bigger gap now than this. - No, you don't need to close it. - Close, pause on the gap. There was a good shot in the beginning somewhere. - Just let it play. - Did that version of you? That's red, blue, blue, and now it's like closed. - Oh, right, there was a good one. - Yeah, come on, come on. - Yeah, come on, come on, come on. - We're looking at a gigantic, it's like his two front teeth are missing. - How did you fix the gap? Did you secretly fix it? - What did you do? - It was a lot bigger there. - Yeah, sorry about that. - What did you do? - Tell us. - Hey, sorry about that. - Just being honest with you, where you're fucking friends, it doesn't matter if it's a show, just tell us a fucking story. - I don't want to say it, but oh, say it. - Some nights I just go like this. - You pushed together? - You're not fucking with me. - I hold it for 10 minutes. - No. - And it closes to go. - No, he did, yeah. - I tried, I tried to get to the truth, but we're gonna do a brick wall. It's like eight in a wheel and interviews that and y'all. - Oh, it's serious. - I had a tooth gap as a kid, I did this. - Oh, serious, this works. - This is real shit. - I had a tooth that's indented and I'm always casually just pushing against it with my tongue. - I know that you can also get a retainer. - Yeah, and fixing it. - I have the same retainer I've had since I was 16. - You wear a retainer. - No, you have your 16 year old mouth. - Yeah, I have my 16 year old mouth. - I don't know if it's barely fits. - But you just said you don't wear it. - Yeah, I know, but I like, some days I'll put it on 'cause I can feel my teeth shift, right? Your teeth shift slowly and some days I feel the shift. So then I'll put the retainer in for like a day. - Right. - As you felt the shit. - And then I'll go to bed and I'll wake up two hours later, I'll be like, this hurts and I'll take it off. - Yeah, your teeth will hurt so bad if you do that, but just wear it. Just wear it normally and then they won't hurt anymore. - I just wear it every night. - I feel, I don't give a shit. - Yeah, he's like my guy. - He's like my guy. - He's like, come on. - You like it? Well, then why'd you wear it? - I like my guy. I didn't get rid of it. That's what I'm trying to tell you. - But it's gone. - It's clearly gone. - Brother, I don't know what to tell you. There's streaks out there. - There's a gap right here. - They know so much of your face, but it's not as big as that guy. if you gain more weight, but now because you're in your skinties, I'm sort of an insurance crazy, bro. Dude, that fat fucking ogre was 179.2, kill yourself. I'm 179.1. You got six, seven inches on it easily. Yeah, I'm 179.1, he's 179.2, fucking blow it off smooth. Dude, I was wondering this, do you, the letter wasn't there, but you remember the brunch place when I took Arizona before Ben's wedding? Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember the dogs' balls? Yeah, they were balls. Okay, yes. Yeah, of course. I don't remember if I told you guys about them, or I just saw them and-- They said it all up. Okay, so my question, every couple of days I think about, those are the biggest dog balls I've ever seen on my life. There we all in a pit pool. And my question is, I think this is a true crime or cringe. If I take out my phone and can clearly zoom in and take a picture of this dog's ball sack, is that crime, or is that cringe? That feels more crime. Okay. Now, here's the question, it's a dog. Right. And I'm not going to fuck the dog. I want you to picture this. Same, same breakfast place in Arizona. And you're-- we're all together still. And you look across the room and it's me with my balls out. Can you take a photo of it? Obviously, different. This is so different. It's like, obviously, and that's why it's interesting because it's-- We can't include him in these type of photos. No, he fundamentally doesn't understand. He's an idiot. It's embarrassing. But when you take a butt naked in that lovely, open air, what are you doing with your body? I'm sitting on a butt naked in there. Do you suck me dry? You're just standing naked. Why would he suck me dry? He's about to suck me dry. You're going to take a picture. Are you blowing me? Are you standing naked? Do you have a boner? No. Well, you only see my back. You don't know if I have a boner. Okay. So you just see my balls hanging in your legs? Are you standing? Are you standing? Are you standing? Are you standing? Are you standing? How are we seeing your balls hanging? You must be like one out of squad. Yeah. Yeah. That's a guy looking at the menu status. And the balls are swinging too and fro. Can we take a picture of course we can? Yeah. I mean, you've kind of thrown the first stone. You 100% can take a picture. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. He's not part of this. I think I'm actually dead as you know. Like I know on Twitter of that exact interaction. What? Have I not won the argument? My question is, this is our first instance because usually crime or cringe usually doesn't actually mean that. But this is a good question because it's, if it's not a crime, it's pretty cringe. I would go to the owner. I would go up to the owner and ask what breed is that? What if they say, can I take a picture? Can I take a picture? It's the owner's dog. Okay. Let's just say you're the owner. Okay. I like one of those Instagram photographers like, hey sorry to bother you. I'm a photographer. I gave a DSLR like a GoPro. I'm gonna take a picture. You got to change your link. Change your link. Change your link to a 50. And you guys like, no, no, no. This dog, we don't want no picture. He's like, no trust me. You'll look at my Instagram. I have three million followers. Wow. These are really good photos. It's all dogs. It's pretty. It's all dogs nuts. Some of them are you like. So, yeah. It's like, it's not a crime. It's crime. It's a cringe. I think it's crime because I don't think it's cringe because I'm like, I want you to get the picture. I want you to show me the picture. It's not cringe. It's spiritual. You're doing the right thing. It's just wrong. How is it wrong? It's crime. It's a crime that I want you to do like J-Walk. Exactly. Exactly. It's crime because I, it's wrong because you shouldn't be taking a picture of other people and even their things in public. This is not a person. I just want the dog. By the way, also disagree on that point. I think in public and legally speaking, everything's up for grabs. This is not a public space. This is a restaurant. This is a public space. Yeah. Yeah. It's a public space. It was open concept. So, it's mostly outside. I think it's not. It's not a public space. You believe in stress testing, right? A restaurant's a public space. It is. It's not literally a public space. I mean, if you want to get a public space, whether it's a park or not, in the rules of the law, it's considered a public space. You can take a picture there. If you're disturbing the peace in public at a restaurant, that's what they're not going to be like. I think you're right. It's private property. I'm right. He's right. I'll give you an example. Yeah. If I set up a mic that records people speaking in a public park, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to do that because it's a public park. Well, depends if it's a one-part or your two-party consensus. In this particular place, it was such an open concept, but you don't have a right to just photograph and like private the second one is the one we're looking at. You know, when you go to an event or like a convention and they have those signs up about like rights regarding like photography and stuff, that's why they have that. Yeah, but that's why you have to sign agreements when you buy the tickets. But they also have to have the rules saying otherwise. Also, this implies that if I took a picture of this dog's balls in the restaurant, which it did not do, then if the cops got called, there's like a case. Let's say he takes out a Sony A7-3. And he starts getting real tight on this dog's nuts. Yeah. Am I still the owner? Yes. And the dog or the restaurant? Oh, my God. The ISO on this thing goes extremely high. And then the owner comes up and he goes, "Actually, there's no filming at a restaurant." Yeah. You can leave, but you get to keep that video. Yeah. What's he going to do? Ask for my SD card? It's Arizona. I'll kill him. Now, if you stay, I think you'd be trespassing and then they'd have some rights there. But you are. You are fully allowed to take a video of that dog's nuts. So it's cringe. No. No, it's neither. So it's just, it's a spiritual crime and it's also awesome. I didn't know it was crime and cringe or something. It's not a lawful crime. Let me, okay. Let's put it this way. Because this is what I was, I was genuinely thinking. It was like, if that's my dog. And I see a guy from across the way. He's wearing a suit for some reason. He has a garbage bag. He has a phone out with a pink case. And he is very clearly zooming and cropping and taking a photo of my dog's huge giant nuts. Thank you. Well, I feel about that. And I think I feel weirded out. Yeah. But I don't feel like I need to walk over to him and say something. No. I think your best course of action is going, hey, to the owner. I think that guy's taking a video of my dog's balls and can you go say something to me? I think that's the best way to do it. I don't want to be like, sir, are you videoing anything here? Well, now let me give you a new scenario. Okay. We're in maybe a restaurant coffee shop, some sort of environment like that. And some man has his balls, sorry, his dog, not his balls. His dog's balls, the dog's sitting up on a chair and you're in a chair and the balls are really close to you. Like super close. You can smell the balls. They're close. How is he up so high? It's a high chair. It's a high chair and a great day. And the great day is the dog is standing on like the booth seating and it's high up and the balls are close enough to where it's invading your personal space, okay? And the dog's legs are kind of closed so it's kind of like goading the balls, it's their protruding, but like you can also see like the fleshy nuts, like it's like it's really in your face. Sure, yes. I'm very literally. Would it be wrong? Just touch one. Yes. No, yes. I don't think it's wrong. No, that's wrong. I think if it is major space like that. Because it'll have to just go away. Oh, it's close. It'll only touch the touching. Well, I know we were divided on the last issue, but I need to know that we can make them ends. I think that's a crime. How is it a crime? A dog that might have to cry? It's not a crime. Is the dog touching you? It's so close. It might be. But it's just compliance from a great day with each balls. Compliance is compliance. It doesn't matter if it's malicious. That's just not how. I'm not touching you. That's disgusting. The dog is going, I'm not touching you and then in response you're groping the dog. The reason why this is interesting is because a dog doesn't have like the conscious agency. Fellas, if a dog's too close to me can I molest it? There's no better way to end. There's no sexual. It's about discovery. It's, you know what? It's about being like, I'm so close, I don't even know what this is. I'm so close. I don't even know what this is. Cut off the sentence. It's not molestation. It's discovery. Yes. How do you just? Is that the answer? What do you say? I think molestation is also a word reserved for human beings. Your honor. I wasn't mowing the muck. I was nearly jerking his balls. I was your answer. It's balls. Your honor. You was so close. I just felt like I didn't know what I was looking at. You're honor. I'd never mow the muck. I would never mow the muck. Some 50-year-old Arizona, now you're saying that the dogs' balls were so big, you could not tell what was going on here and this, that's right, you're honor. That's right, you're honor. And the smell was part of this as well as permeating my nostrils. Your honor. My eyes were close because the smell drifted in and it shut them and so I just reached out to what I thought. You're honor. My client. My client is the dog honor. He, the defendant or the didn't even ask for my dog to move. Your honor. He just touched his balls. Your honor. I don't speak dog. I don't know how I would have done that. Excuse me, Mr. Great Day, no, it doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way. I just wanted to discover what could be behind the fleshy nut sack that the dog had. That great. How about this? How about this? How about this? You, you simply just pat the top of the Great Day's, like, hind quarters, not as butt, but you know, you're just like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you pet someone else's dog. That's fun. That's fun. That's fun. But if we start to just, just, you tell me I can pet somebody's dog, but I can't touch their penis. It's not their penis. They're, they're importantly. I can't touch their balls and penis. And the balls are as big as, I would say, tend greens. Yeah, they're massive. And they're being squeezed through two legs. Can I give you guys an alternate? Okay. I'm me the guy and I'm trying to do a business deal. And instead of going to shake his hand, I grab his cock and balls. Is that a crime? Is that a crime? Is that a crime? Can I not? That's a crime. It is a crime. It is a crime. I can shake his hand, but I can't grab his balls. - It's not a gray area, it's black in white. - It is gray area. - That's what you said is a crime. - If I could claim self-defense, if I caress a dog's nuts when they're in my face. - Those nuts are flying at me, your honor. - Your honor, I was trying to get the nuts further away from you with one finger. - I didn't want to harm the dog, but I wanted my space bar in the dog. - I wanted to eat my hash in pieces. - You know what would happen is this would go down through the appellate courts, and finally the Arizona Supreme Court would decide in a five to four ruling. The three finger rule, where you cannot touch a dog with more than three fingers, but with less than three fingers. - Do they get one? - 'Cause I feel like you can't touch a dog with two fingers. - Two fingers, yeah. - This is a three finger rule, that's what it was. - So you're telling, I can get away with, you can get away with your engine going too bad. - You guys are thinking one hand. - Two hands. - Two hands. - But once you reach three fingers, that's either a split or all in one hand. It considers-- - I'm being warped. - You're in motel territory. - I don't wanna, it's been reframed as touching the balls somehow legally as a victory. - I don't want to touch the balls. - Well, it's a three finger rule, isn't it? - It's more of a compromise, like many things, and many laws, right? The dog is invading my space, this run-ruly crazy owner with a black rifle coffee shirt or something. - And they look interesting to the touch. They look like they might have had an American with two fingers. You have the right to feel around for what you smell. - If it's that close. - Can we ban an array of two fingers? Can we ban this set of two fingers? You cannot touch a dog. - No, no, it can be any two fingers. - Any two fingers? - I mean, because then it's like, you get into enforcement. - It's so weird, it's just so weird. - This is all, this is all Scott Galway wanted to talk about, too. - Yeah, no. - Really? - So you're well-versed. - Cool. - Is that, who is that? - I feel like we spent the first 10 minutes of this podcast explaining it. - If it's all of 'em, 14-year-old girl. - Yeah. - I think it's the rest. - Yeah. - Interesting. - It's probably about commerce and street lamps and shit. - Oh my god. - Fucking care. - We'll talk about commerce with some old fucker. - And street lamps. - Six hours. - You know what I've been having some problems with. - What the hell? - It ain't. - It ain't. - It was, it was side-barring. - Oh yeah. - Side-barring. - Side-barring. - It was for a little bit. - What's your problem? - He looks like bitch. - He looks like bitch, man. - I can't hang out with him, 'cause he looks like bitch. - I've talked to you guys about this before. - I brought it up to him. I said, "Could you bring me being something "that make you look like bitch?" - He ain't got shit on his neck either, Ludwig. - No, and we like, here's the deal. It's like, he's been asking me to connect him with Naky Jaky, okay. - I'm embarrassed about what he looks like. And I don't want Naky Jaky to look at him with no freaking, I got an idea, GLD. - Sorry, side-barring. It's a big side-bar. - It's a big side-bar. - It doesn't matter how long the side-bar is. - When we're done? - Then you can talk. - Is he still the side-bar? - Yes. - Yes. - Jesus. - The GLD. - Do you see my issue? - I know, I know. - You can put him in high-quality jewelry prices at all price points, 'cause you know he's blown a lot of years ago. - I have to get the jewelry. So it needs to be affordable for me. - It can be real gold, hand-stone set. - Every piece is real gold I've heard. Which Naky Jaky can tell. - He could tell, 'cause he's working the diamond this way. - And he does bite everyone's chains. - He's trying to check. - He ruins stuff all the time. So there's a lifetime warranty. - There's a GLD Ludwig. It's proprietary production. Provides, oh my god, imagine tongue twister. High-tier quality and shine. - Can I trust them? - You can trust them. - You can trust them in a $50,000 style. - Whatever music and trust. - There's a lot of people. It can help him do pretty much anything like meet Naky Jaky and Naky Jacob. Over 2 million customers soon to be 8 and over 50,000 five star reviews. - Okay, so if we can get him this, then he won't look like bitch. - He won't look like bitch. - And then he can talk to Naky Jaky. - All right, we're back. - Hey. - Hey. - We wanted to tell you something. Work hard. - Okay. - And change the game. For a limited time only, new customers, that's you, are getting a huge deal. - Really? - Use code. You already get 50% off at GLD.com. - Wait. - Naky Jaky's coming soon. - I think I could like look a little nicer for him, probably. - We almost ain't sad. - You all pretty much agree. - So it's 50% off with code yard at GLD.com. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard them support our show and tell them the yard sent you. - Can you make that group chat with me and him? - If you wear this, then yes. - Let's get back to the episode. - I mean, my dark secret, that's not a secret, is I think I am interested. I like when Aiden talks about township bureaucracies or whatever, but I need to make fun of them for it to establish a hierarchy, you see, the dominance, if you will. - New York just went through this as well, and the D&D campaign, he faced a very similar. - The Oregon slime has some similarities. - Oh, you think. - I think so. I'm starting to think so. - I'd be so sick if you had a baby mom in real life. - Really? - Yeah. - He's out of kid. - A little rascal running around. - That would be insane. - I think you guys would feel much more normal beside of me. - You think so? - Yeah, 100%. - You think that having the kid normals you? - No, I think I-- - The kid mocks you like that. - Yeah, sure. The kid is a much more important thing. I would not be taking pictures of him in a poor oversight and being like anyone like kids in the poor over or whatever. You know, I don't do that. I wouldn't do that. - He wouldn't, he wouldn't do that. - I just, I would be, speaking of, I won. I won my battle in the street, protecting the kids from the fucking, the people that park in a shitty spot. I go there and there are now street like city cones that don't impede the flow of traffic, but they say you cannot park here very loudly. Loud cones. I won. I protect the kids. - Just post it up on the gun every day around, too. - I wanted to. Because after that one guy-- - Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you parking then? Open carry, by the way. - I was gonna be like, I was like, you can't park here and I was like, well, I can't. I was like, I'm crazy. Okay. I have time. - I have time and I'm bored and I'm rich. - I have time and I have money and I have time and I care about this specific street so much, I will make your life crazy, but I didn't have to say that because I put the cones out. - You have time now that you've quit Balochreau. - Yeah, I'm good. - Yeah, I'm good. - I go to steak every deck. I fucking, you can't stop me. - You can't stop. You can't park here. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for everyone. - What are you doing with your time now? - Well, I just got my surgery, so I have to take it easy. And I've been fucking, my minecraft, I go through every fad and I pick the moments I like. It takes forever. But I don't trust anyone else to do it because I got burned once. I had a person once go through all my, go through my vod, make a cut of it and a moment I really, really thought was funny, they just didn't put in. And I was like, I guess no one can do this. - Yeah. - It's gonna be me. - It's probably true. No one else on Earth can do it. - Yeah. But I'm just being meticulous about it, so I've been doing that and I got a new heart. - So you got a new heart, I thought it took a bit to find out. - This one. - Just frame one. - My guy is the LeBron James of PVC specific ablations on the left side of the heart. - He's balding? - No. - Oh. - Extremely strong Caroline. - He looks like, I think you guys will get this. He looks like the best Mark player in a state PR for melee in 2016. - Huh. - Yeah, I can picture him. Is he of glasses? Not 26 days. - He's glasses, right? - He does have glasses. - Yeah. - So yeah. - He's the goat, bro. He fixed me. It literally. - I checked my shit every day, every couple hours and it's just the same beat. He did it. - He. - I got white shab. That was the first image I got in my head. - White shab. - Yeah, a shab if he was white. If I can ask this question, I believe you, I believe he's the bronze. Look. If he's the LeBron, why didn't it work the first time? - So that's a good question. It's what I asked. This. At UCLA there, it's just a severely more sophisticated set of tools and technologies. And also, he is the specialist of this type of this part of the heart. - It was the same guy the first time or different guy. - No, different guy. - Different guy the first time. - The other guy was like, he. He like, I couldn't do it. - That's why this guy's the bronze. - I thought, I remember you saying back then too, the guy was the goat or whatever. But I guess I. - No, I just said he was obsessed. These guys, these electrophysiologists are obsessed with electricity and the heart. That's why they do what they do. They go to medical school for eight years. They do a fellowship for another eight years and when they're mid-30s they can practice. - That should be so crazy, bro. That should be so crazy, bro. What do you mean you could say hi for this shit? - It's just a thing you are, it's only you? - I thought it was like a beam. - Oh. - It's like you became Delta Diamond. - It's like going in front of the State Department and rescinding your citizenship. - You stand before me. - You're a sovereign. - You're a sovereign citizen. - I rescind my Delta Diamond. - I have to go to the Delta Hub at LAX. I have to fucking put my hand up. Two fingers 'cause it's a free finger rule. I rescind Delta Diamond. - Yeah, they fucking hoed me. - How they hoed you? - They been hoing me. - How they been hoing you? - As I went to the airport, first off, I'm in Delta Diamond for three months now. - Yeah. - Since like January. - And everybody knows? - Oh. - No, no. - That's what you were talking about for a long time. - No, you get, it's like an annual thing. So I earned Delta Diamond last year for this year. - But then rank reset. - Then there's rank reset. - That is fucked. - That is fucked. - You would have it. No, because you can just sit on challenger forever. - You can give him like three years. You can hit, you can hit like, it's called like, I think Delta select. And if you hit that, then that's permanent. You know what I mean? That's like if you hit PR. You get to hold that for the rest of your life. - Okay. - But otherwise, you are rank reset. And you don't get the right, like, you know, buddy that you can use. - And the border. - Yeah. - So I've been Delta Diamond. And usually what they're supposed to do is when you check in, they go, thank you for being Delta Diamond. And I've heard them say this. They haven't said it to me once. - Oh, I know. - Once? - I know. - A single type. 'Cause I've never been talking about this. They said it to the other person. - Yeah, exactly. - And I've flown several times since I've said it once. And I've literally pulled up on my phone. The Diamond status before fucking buzzing in. - Like the guy with a convicted felon Joe Biden shirt. Just like hoping people notice what it's like Delta Diamond. - On the plane with, I'm a Delta Diamond member. - You should roll up next time in military garb. - And I should, what, stolen valor? - It's not stolen 'cause they're, you are in danger. - 'Cause they're gonna be like, thank you for your service. - I should surely be like, "Do you wanna thank me for anything else?" - You know the little patches on the side? - Yeah. - I put a little Delta Diamond logo on the patch. - I might have a Minecraft Diamond on the side. - Yep. - Yeah, you know what that mean. - And then 40 ribbons. - So they're like, "Go all in!" - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're like a really hiring official. - You haven't thanked me for being fucking Diamond member. - Is that all? - No, then I've been using 'cause I'm supposed to get upgrades. Okay, I can go on the upgrade list. Okay, tell me why I'm the second person on the upgrade list. I check an hour later, I'm 26th. How did 24 people bump me? - I'm in tell to fucking Diamond. - Are they all Diamond? - That's what I don't know. - Are they better Diamond, my Diamond one or Diamond three? - Here's what happened. - When people get Challenger in the early season, they just don't play for a long time. The season starts again, you got a lot of people. - They don't have Challenger. - The pool is full, right? - Sorry, there's a lot of people. - I don't know, it's Delta Diamond. - If you hit the shit in August, then yeah, you don't get bumped, but you got real players playing. - Are you Diamond or not? - I'm done. (laughing) - 'Cause the way you're being treated, I think you're not Diamond. - You're explaining, yeah, you're giving us a bunch of evidence that clearly says you're not. - Right. - I'm literally Diamond bro, stop fucking doing this to me. Tell me what the current status says. Tell me what current status says. - What does Delta Chud? (laughing) - Did they just make that for you, Delta Chud? - I don't know, Delta Chud means like, no member. - Bitch. - Let me look, let me look. - Let me look. - Okay, I'll say this, is this current status Diamond me? And then dot, dot, dot, I don't know what that last one. - I'm not really Diamond, Dallion member. - What's the dollar amount mean? - It is for my 2027, that's the rank reset. So I'm currently goals for 2027. - That's a lot of use. - I was just about on flights this year, or was that a point? - No. - But you said, you see why I'm confused? - It's not your thing. - It's your thing. - That this year, this year where it's supposed to be active. - Yes. - They stop saying thank you for being Delta Diamond. - They've never said, they've never said it in their life. - They've never said it. - He never said it. - Yeah, he has just spent Diamond. - And not only my Delta Diamond, I have the Delta fucking AMX card. - Yeah. - So it's like, okay, I'm actually not kidding about this one. Not the military garb joke, this is real. We make you a T-shirt that says, I am Delta Diamond. - And on the back it says, say it or I'll kill myself. - I'll have a weapon on the back. - Yeah, if you roll up, you just show in the front. You wear your hoodie, probably hide the back. Get on the plane, take the hoodie off, and reveal the back. - Okay, well, this is what really set me over the edge and maybe I'll do this idea now is 'cause I go to the airport and I'm there four hours early. So I go to the Delta line. - One of the four hours early. - 'Cause that's not what I was like. - There was only one flight available from San Francisco to Raleigh for the Mr. B shoot, and it was at like 11 p.m. - You must have wanted to kill yourself. - All the time he's saved over the years is probably adds up to four hours in the airport, and now he has to eat it. - Well, it was fun because I had something to do. I was supposed to teach Squeaks how to play Minecraft, and so I was gonna go to the lounge. - Oh, I'm discailed. - And go on Discord and teach him. So I was like, this is great. So I showed up to the Delta line. So I'm like, hey, can I get in? - Can I get in? - Paying all year, finally getting in my lounge access. Ah, yes, the buffet, some piecing quiet, and there's just Ludwig in the corner. Oh my God, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, you got the wheat trade. You got the wheat trade. That's pretty good. - That was loud. That was loud of that loud. I was like, what is this fucking fashion route? Neanderthal route. So wait, what happened? - I go to the Delta Lounge, and I go like, can I, and they go, yeah, and they point to this little sheet, and it's like what you need to get in. And it's like an international business flight or like have a card. I'm like, here's the card. And they're like, ooh, and then they point to like small print. They're like, that card's for the Centaurian Lounge. This is the Delta Lounge. And I go, oh, sorry, and then I show Delta Diamond, and they go, great, could you scan your flight? And I scan my flight, and they go, ooh, you're on a united flight, you can't get in. - Oh. - And I'm like, you don't fly Delta to Raleigh. They're like, yeah. - So wait, they have a Delta Hub Lounge, but they don't fly Delta. - They have a Delta Hub Lounge, but you have to be flying Delta by. I thought you could just get in for your Delta fucking diamond. - I don't know. - I don't know, that's insane. If you're Delta Diamond Cune, I just get in the fucking lounge. - You don't time me out at the airport with the fuck else you gonna do. - What did you all just do? - You all just fucking drink and a couple of fucking snacks, maybe fucking shit. You gun down all those fucking villages for what? For what? - What did I do it for? - 'Cause I did it. - Is there a rank higher than Diamond? - I think there's like selects, but I don't even know how to get it. - That's okay, I will say it's pathetic of you to say. - What? - I think there's a higher rank, and I don't know how to get it. - It's not clear. - You're not a competitive Delta real player. - Yeah, I got it. - Can you look at the highest ranking Delta member that ever been ranked in Tori? - Look at the Delta member PR. - I go to the Centauri lounge, and I show them my AMX card, and they go wrong AMX card. You need the Platinum card. And if you have the Delta card, you have to be flying Delta only. And then you, and then I go, oh, and you only says you go, you could buy a Delta flight. - Oh my God. - You get access to it. And I was like, that's unbelievable. - Oh my God. - Are you serious? - You should have punched that guy. - He's like, yeah, people do that. - I look, the cheapest Delta flight is $600. I'm like, I'm not buying a fucking Delta flight to get into your mouth. - Oh wow. - To get fucking scrambled eggs that are sitting in a buffet. - So then I have to walk to the fucking United Lounge and get a guest pass. - Oh. - I got a fucking guy. I wasn't even fucking Delta last night. - In the basically the slums. The disgusting sewer gasses. - It's actually really nice. - It's actually really nice ones. - Of the United Lounge. (laughing) - Delta is not in one bullet for you. (laughing) - It's invitation only membership. That's a MEP scene shit. That's challenger, 360 people get that. - That's why I didn't know about it. - Delta 360? It's a small, but entry into Delta 360 will be extended to a very small percentage of diamond medallion members. Are you a medallion? - Yes, that's what I'm telling you. - Really? - Okay. I didn't know if Delta is a-- - It's a Christ. - It used to be better. They used to send out jackets every year, but now they don't do that anymore. - Fuck dude. - Well, the United Lounge is probably good. How is it like in there? We're men bowling bundles of trash. We're just donkeys, bundles, balls out, and men touching them, and playing Brazilian basketball. - Several men touching the doll knows. (laughing) - Yeah, there's a giant barrel fire. (laughing) - I wore it in there, that's good. - So you sat in the United Lounge for four hours or whatever? - It's like this fucking, just telling squeaks how to fucking run his bastion routes. - It's so interesting. - But just eating crazy amounts of charcootery. - Okay. - Charcootery. - Charcootery. - The all new charcootery from the habit. - And then you got back, and I fucking got, well then I fucking got there. - And it was in the way. - Did you win? - Did I win? I can't leak. But it was pretty good. (laughing) - Dad asked, that's a no. I know this guy long enough. - Yeah, that's pretty good. - I know too long enough. - Dude, if I would have known that fucking Mr. Beast was gonna have the best idea all year, I would have locked into streaming this year. And I would have fought for my fans. - Yeah, you could have gotten Connery's pants caught in. He got in on the back of ruthlessly bullying and harassing politicians on Twitter. - I think, 'cause I think what actually happened is I messaged Conner, he's like, you wanna get breakfast. And I was like, "Can I do the Mr. Beast thing?" And he goes, "What Mr. Beast thing?" And I go, "50 streamers in a box." And then an hour later, he goes, "All right, I'm gonna see you at the Mr. Beast thing." And I'm like, "What did you do?" - I'm like, "Dad, you need to call." - He has some sort of, I think he has a man that works for him, that can get him anywhere, and get him in a box. He can get him anywhere, and get him anything. - Like a motion generator. - Dude, maybe he's Delta 360. - That's probably it. He calls up Jimmy, he hits the code that they give you. - Yup. - It goes right to Jimmy's direct line. - And it goes to his cosy air. - And he goes, "I got Mr. Beast." - And you know who answers to a 360 member, Jimmy the Beast. - Is Jimmy doing all the, all the talent? 'Cause Jimmy hits you up, right? - Well, Jimmy has people doing his DMs. For me, he hits me, he calls me. But I think if he doesn't know him, he uses like, he has a guy. who does his Instagram DMs? I met him at the Super Bowl. I went to the Super Bowl, his guy comes up, he goes, "Hey, you ever message Mr. Beast on Instagram?" I go, "Yeah, he goes, that's me." - Wow. - That's one of my guys doing that. - You could say that to anybody. - And they would believe you. - That's true. - No, 'cause he instantly fucking opened it. - This is like when Yingling tells people, he said, he just tells people I'm Jamie, on Joe Rogan, on Counter-Strike. - Oh, really awesome. - Is it in the belief that he's so fucking awesome? - Somebody will ask the like, "Dude, you got that like, Chinese blue knife." And they'll be like, "What do you do?" And then Yingling just hops in, he's like, "Yeah, we're listening to Joe Rogan." - He's Jamie from Joe Rogan. - He's Jamie. - And he's the funniest thing that ever said. - And Yingling and Adam, is there a picture of him? - Yeah. - Like, you see what he looks like? - He's not like long hair. Yeah, he's not known. - It's not like zipper. - No, it's not like zipper. - It's not a sentient being. - Yeah, he's not a construct. - He's a man. - Man, that's a great bit. - From Yingling. That's Jamie? - What? - Does that shirt just say powerful? All the pictures. - We've got a food fighter shirt, hey. - The pictures are so sporadic of him in a rare that it looks like like an Epstein affiliate. - Yeah, it does. - Yeah, they're very candid. - Yes. - Low quality photos. - He looks like Matt Mercer. - Six takes in. (laughing) Wow, okay. Joe Rogan is crazy looking, dude. - Yeah, I mean, he's getting a lot older, man. - You know what? I realized that Joe Rogan's been around a long time, but my understanding of him mostly in general, which is probably different from some people is Fear Factor. I watch Fear Factor every Monday. I love that show, and I was like in middle school. That's what I've seen more Joe Rogan on Fear Factor than I've ever watched on his podcast or clips or whatever. - That watched it. - His amazing show. - I watched it in my neighbor's house, and I remember I always was just like, I don't wanna watch that. They're doing gross stuff. - The first one was a physical one. The second one was always gross. And the third one was a 1v1. - What was a 1v1? - It was like a craze. It usually had to do with the sky. You were like on a side of a cliff, or you were in a helicopter, you were skydiving. - It's like what, first to skydive? Dude, he looks like David Blinken. - Yeah, he does, he's a fucking magician. - Look at him in the bottom left, he's crazy. - Isn't it interesting? He's been around a long time. - He looks like he's a whole guy. - Yeah, I think he's in his 60s right now. - Dude, there's this trend on TikTok. - He looks like a Dominican man who did a reverse dolazal to become a white man in the UFC. - A Dominican man's dresser would do it. - He looks insane. - I know, I know. And the Joe Rogan now is a, I should have Simulacra. - I think it's all the Ivermectin. I think it's dying his pigmentation. - There's this trend on TikTok where they take a fucking beat old picture of like John Samus now. And then they're like, what happened? And then they'll do like a thirst trap compilation of him in the 90s. And it's like, he's just old. - He's just older guy. - They do, they do with so many old men. I've seen so many compilations. It's just them looking like, they did one with, who's the guy with the fucking mustache? Like the, - Harvey. - No, he's like the guy with the mustache. - Mr. Beast. - Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris. - Epic Chuck Norris bacon. - The muscles. - He was on friends. - He was on friends. - He was dating Rachel. He had a big mustache. - Is he a main character of friends? - No. Paul Rudd. - No, fucking. - Oh! - Oh, he's talking about a-- - He's an awesome mustache. - Rachel's like husband and friends. - Yes. - I didn't watch a lot of-- - What is his favorite actor? - Yes. - God, I didn't watch a lot of friend, bro. - His name in the show is-- - I watched a lot of friend, bro. - Oh my God, just hype him away. - He's like Magnum P.I, no? - Bert Reynolds. - Yes. - No, it's not for Reynolds. - No. - Is it Bert Reynolds? - Richard Burke. - No, that's his name. - Richard Reynolds, his name is Richard Burke. - Richard Burke. - Yeah, if you click on that, it'll tell you his name in the show at the bottom of that right side, played by. - What did Bert Reynolds feel so-- - Tom Selleck. - Tom Selleck. - Selleck. - Yeah, 'cause they showed a picture of Tom Selleck now. And he was-- - Damn! - To be fair, Tom Selleck was beat now. 'Cause he's 75. - Wait, what does Tom Selleck look like now? - You're right. - I bet he's still hot. - No, he's not hot, bro. - I bet he's still sucking down. - Well, let's see him. Let's see him. I bet he looks great. - He's 81. - 81. - You look amazing! - That's the first one, bro, it's the first one. - He's still in, so chill on him. - I mean, he has the hair. That's tough to maintain. - They're showing like the picture. The US sun one. They're showing like the US sun picture. Like, and then it's like-- (laughing) - Yeah. - And then look up Tom Selleck in the 80s. - Dude, that caption's fucked. Tom Selleck looks unrecognizable. - I know, bro. - Fuck off. - And then they're showing him in the 80s. He looks so bad. - Yeah, he's greased up for you, too. - Yeah, we should get photoshoot in this kind of environment. That, they're taking photos of him like they found El Chapo. - Yeah. - Just take a picture of him like that. - There is a surplus of celebrities, right? Like, we have more celebrities now than we've ever, ever, ever had, so it's just gonna keep happening, which is kind of funny. - It's a very interesting how it works, 'cause we have more celebrities than ever, but we've also diluted what being a celebrity kind of is. Like, there are so many micro celebrities, but that is a thing now. There's enough fans to have these people who are recognizable in the streets everywhere. - Yeah, like Jason the Wheel. - You were like real celebrities. - Yeah, it is all, the pyramid is broken down and the ones at the top are truly, truly at the top, but the middle is filled out quite a bit. Like, Jason the Wheel can go to the store. Like, the mom at the store is not gonna mob Jason the Wheel. - I feel like some of these guys, like it's mob. - Some of these streamers are making like more money than the most famous celebrities of the early 2000s. - Absolutely. - Yeah, I don't really want money. - And it really creates the fame. - Streamers now are still not household names. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? Like, back then, you take like a Michael Jackson or something, everyone in the world knows them. But like, if you took a massive like Kaisenat who was making a quarter million just on his Twitch subs without streaming every month. - Yeah, the system also doesn't know who that is. - Twitch YouTube, all these systems have deleted the middleman and the friction of getting money and extracting it from your fans, right? So instead of a studio paying you for a picture and you do the picture or the picture actor picture, you just fucking have someone give you five bucks directly. Which is kinda funny and interesting. - That's so crazy. - And sometimes it's tied doing 30K. - Oh, fuck. - Slip like bitch. - Slip like bitch? - No, I can't. - It made your tummy all weird looking in big too. - I thought it's so bad. - What's the problem? - What's wrong with your bed? - Oh, yeah, because Swift can't jump on the bed. What we've done is just create a hole in the floor that's indented, filled with blankets, which I thought would be soft, but it's so lumpy. - So why don't you mention how your back hurts or your tummy's weird? - Oh my God, my tummy's weird too, 'cause I ate 17 pounds of cereal. - Well, can I offer you maybe something? - I don't know, I'm a social freak. - I either of these problems and the cereal ones are bigger to go like-- - Be like, okay. - And you're a sorrowful time. What if you get a helix sleep mattress like I have? - Was that gonna help with the cereal? - Yeah, 'cause the helix sleep mattress has sleep zones. So Swift jumped on the bed. You probably won't even notice. - Wait, was it gonna disturb your side of the bed at all? - What does that mean, the sleep zone? - What does that mean? Love it, don't ask me questions that you couldn't possibly understand if I explained them to you. Why don't you just take the helix sleep quiz and there's 20 different unique mattress styles that you can find and they're gonna match you with the perfect one for you and your dog. - I anxious about failing the quiz. - There's also a part at the end about dietary needs and you could talk about the 17 pounds of grain that you're eating, which is probably leading to a lot more problem-based and the apnea problem as well. But there's various designs with memory foam, cooling features and the sleep zones like I mentioned earlier are gonna help you customize your sleep and Swift sleep. - Did you say, and your girlfriend sleep? - You said corn base? It's helix sleep. - It's called as corn base at a corn base. - Corn base. - Corn base or mattress. - Helix sleep. - Corn base. - Oh God. - Oh God. - His mind is in 2021. - Hold on, hold on, quick. - Helix sleep. - Helix sleep.com/theyard for 27% off-site-wide. That's helix sleep.com/theyard for 20% off-site-wide. - 27% off-site-wide. - It can't help you with the amount of cereal you eat. - But that's exclusive for yard listeners. That kind of includes you, Ludwig. Make sure you enter our show name after checkouts. They know we sent you. - It's called corn base. - No, it's helix sleep.com/theyard. We need to get him to a hospital. - Guys, we're going to think it's 21% off-site-wide. - He's forgotten the last four years. - Go, go, go. - You know the world's first celebrity. World's first celebrity. - Jesus Christ. - He's Christ, yeah. - No, not a celebrity. - Monsamuso. - Jesus Christ was a celebrity. - No. - God? - Oh yeah. - Not the first one. - The Holy. - It's not Mary. - Ghost. - I don't confuse. - Like a celebrity, like somebody who. - Joseph. - Joseph. - No, it's like Jesus. - No, these are religious figures. These are leaders. - Okay. - Affair enough. I see where you're going. Muhammad. - Oh. - By the name of the most common. - It's the most common. - No. - It's Charles Lindberg. - Who? - Charles Lindberg. - He's more famous than Jesus. - Charles is more famous than Jesus. - That's what he said on his tombstone. - I said celebrity. - He was born before Jesus. - He's born in the like 1800s. He's more famous. - He's more like Julius Caesar. - There's literally no way. - He was a ruler. He's not a celebrity. I feel like a celebrity is somebody who's like famous for fucking being famous. And you keep up their lives. - Is Obama a celebrity? - Obama's not a celebrity. He's a president. - He was a president, bitch. - What are we doing? - And now we're in a picture. - Is this not Square's and right now? - He's a celebrity. - He's becoming the president. - Yes. - No, no. He is a celebrity. - I think you guys are conflating famous with celebrity. You guys are saying famous people, but a celebrity is different. - How? - 'Cause a celebrity is someone who's famous for being famous. - Can we get the English in a celebrity? - No. - A celebrity. - So movie stars aren't celebrities. - Aren't celebrities? - You're saying yourself. - Dumb shit. - I'm not saying dumb shit. - Brad Pitt is famous because of movies. - Wow. - A famous person. (laughing) - That's what I was talking about. - That's what I was talking about. - Famous for being famous. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. - Famous person. The state of being well known. - Famous for many reasons. - Gengi, I think you lost this round. - Actors are famous for being famous. - Okay, how about this? How about I win this one with one Google search? Look up the world's first celebrity. - So because this man was coined that phrase, we have to accept your definition. - Oh cool, it's Sarah Bernhardt. - The last the AI one, we should probably find the-- - Earlier examples. - Oh, and then it's a Smithsonian magazine article. That's a pretty reputable-- - What just happened? You just named a guy from the 1800s and said he was the first celebrity. - Yeah, I've seen it. - Alex would do. - What did you mean? - I would say this. - We've been famous before that. - You know, we don't have the original drawings of Bugs Bunny also. - Yeah, you realize that? There's no one knows who drew Bugs Bunny, by the way. - Oh my God, she's stunning. - There's a condition of fame and broad public recognition of a person or group doing the attention given to them that mass media. What a succinct, beautiful sentence. That is a beautiful sentence and it's very clear. - Wait, that's kind of what I'm saying. They're famous for being famous. - Oh, but the-- - It says, it doesn't mean next two lines. - It's right there. - Read the next two lines. - But by the, by the, your metric, it still counts as a celebrity. Everyone's a celebrity. - Audio-listers, we're going to have to be a celebrity. - The position as a political figure. Isn't that interesting? - Little momma phone. - We learned that Wikipedia is not even a real source. - It's okay. - So we probably should read this either. - Wait, well, who's the guy you named? - Charles Lindberg, who no one cares about that. - Do you look him up? - I want to see Charles Lindberg. - I'm sure of them. - Of the blimp. - I'm sure he's famous. - What does he do? - Was it, did he do? - He's on the right hand. - He was the one to cross the Atlantic. - American Navy, your military officer. - He's handsome, it's all hell. - So you're saying a guy that died in 1974 was the world's first celebrity? - Yeah, that's right, baby. - He lived hell along. - I think you read, you watch a TikTok about this guy, and now you're bringing your sleep into it. - He's not on TikTok. - He's on it and TikTok don't know about it. - This is a YouTube short. It's like the world's first celebrity, Charles Lindberg. He flew across the Atlantic. - I'd be so fucking scared if I've never seen a plan or heard of one. I'm in France. And all of a sudden, this guy's like crash landing in your field. - It's an alien. - It's a fucking alien. - It's an alien. - And he's handsome. And it's like, oh my God, the alien. - Oh no, I'm a fucked the alien. - No, I got a fucked the alien. - But is he the alien in my sister? I don't know. He's just sitting in this. - Oh my God, born into Troy, gonna die in Hawaii. - He's the first man of the year. - That's a good one. - Time was doing man of the year. - He was the first guy. - Oh yeah, and then they murdered and killed his kid. - You got it? - What? - You got to let him go. - What do you mean a bird's kid? - Like somebody kidnapped his kid, like fucking open the window, kidnapped the kid, killed a ransom, and then killed the kid. - The next line, the case prompted the US to establish kidnapping as a federal crime. - Many believed he was a lot. - He's been stuck across the state lines with a big guy. - Yeah, I'm saying a big crime. - Many believed he was a Nazi sympathizer. - Ah, another Bobby Fisher case. - Not Lindbergh. - Not Lindbergh. - Oh, he was fine. - Lindbergh, no. - He was publicly rebuked him for his views. - Okay, it actually is kind of insane that he resigned from the military before the World War II. - He was like, "No, not fighting them." - "Not fighting them." - That's not helping the kid. - And then after fucking Pearl Harbor, he said no. He tried to join the military. They said, "No." - Let me back in. - Wow. - He's like, "Wait, wait, I wanna get those guys. Can you only assign me on the Pacific theme?" - I would like to. - Pacific only. - Interesting. - So this is your guy. This is who you're trying to summon. - Oh, my God, it's my guy. - That's my guy right there, Charles. - Billed by Lymphoma, comes for many. - Wow. - What can you do? - He was eating them GMOs too. - What was Lymphoma? - That is a blood cancer. - Really? - Yeah. - How is cancer? - It's as old as can be. - Who's the first cancer havers? Is it for you to look that up? - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - We probably wouldn't know. - It was the first cancer haver. - It's a function of biology. It's not like a, it's not like, I don't know, COVID. It's just, no, there must be like a cancer. - It was just a vertebrate. - It was just like a fish. - Yeah, yeah. - It was something in the walls. - It wasn't like a cancer, you know, COVID-19, like a cancer one. Cancer one. - It was the first one in case of cancer. - The dinosaurs had cancer. - I think you don't know what cancer is. - But what was written in description is found in the Edwin Smith Prius from 3000 BCE. He was described as a bulging tumor of the breasts. - You know he's feeling. - So it's Edwin Smith. (laughing) - Oh no, he was the guy who felt the breast. - No, I know how it sounds, but I think you're a bulging tumor of the breast and I have to check. (laughing) - Oh, Parker, he's wrote about it. He coined it, cancer. - Oh my God. - Greek for swelling, uncost, uncost. - Uncost. - Uncology. - Yeah, speaking of John Stamos, I think he's the most handsome Greek guy. - No. - Out of all of them. - What? - Really? - Stop it. - Can we key look at most handsome Greek guys ever made? - Dude, can we make slime come up when you look at most handsome Greek guy? - Yeah, yeah, we need a red thread. - We need a red thread now. - We don't have motion like that. - Start the red thread, most handsome Greek guy and then everyone on the thread to have earnest conversation about how it's slime. - Yeah. - Anthony Bruno from The Art Podcast. - Yeah. - And do not get us caught. - We need 1000 pictures. - And he needs to use the most handsome pictures of him that you can find. - Good luck. - I think this can work. If we-- - He is a fucking heart hell man. - I'm telling you bro, he's saying goodness. - If we band together, this could work. - I'm not kidding, this is what my dad used to look like. - Yeah. - It's crazy. - Yeah, I mean that's how to tell you in Greek motion. - Yeah. - It's the say, it's the Mediterranean. It makes you-- - God's making the jack as face. - Look at that one, the red shirt, Jesus Christ. No, not that one. - The orange. - Yeah, he's amazing. - Mama, man. - I think we can get him on here. - John Stamos. - I think we can try. - Sure, yeah. We can try to work with him. - Really? - That's right, I remember that. - Let's get John. - Let me get John on. - Let's go. He shows up his seat. - A drum set. - Stamos. - Places. - Stamming. - Stamming the boys. - Stamming the boys. - Stamming the boys. - Stamming the boys. And it's just you, Stavros and Stamos. - I'm Anthony Brunos. - We talked to him really slow. - He's so insulting. - Guys, what are you doing? (laughing) - Is anyone else. - Is the uncle. - Not Uncle Jesse. - Joey is Joey from Full House still acting? - Is he a lot? - You mean Dave, what is his name? Portney A or whatever? - Is that his name? - Is he Portney? - He went to the show. - He's just the pizza we read. - The pie rack's strong as water. - He's the pizza. (laughing) - What's that guy's name? - He's still doing cut it out. - Dave Collier. - Oh, he looks great. - I always liked that guy's look. It made me feel comfortable. - Yeah, he looks like he'd give a good body hug. - Yeah, he looks like he's just. He's got dad in him. He's got some dad in him. - He battled two cancers. - Let's fucking go. - And he fucking won, too. - And you know who gave it to him that Greek mother fucker's name was. He said we invented this. - I'm a fucking close man. - Almost got there. - Did any celebrities die in 9/11? - Like in it? - Yeah, like in the tragedy. - A lot of celebrities said they were supposed to go. - Yeah, sadly for our ones, the big one. Gerard Ways saw 9/11 and then made my chemical romance. - Probably every fucking American in that building is a celebrity that died 9/11 to me. - Yeah, but you don't know their names. - I do actually. I see it every time I walk through Burbank Airport. - Really? - Yeah, they have a giant memorial. - They're in David Copperfield live in Vegas. A lot bigger than those names. - Okay, Frazier producer doesn't count. Actress Barry Harrison in. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - I do actually, I see it every time I walk through Burbank airport. - The fuck is that? - The guy from Breaking Bad? - No, the producer of White Lotus. - Brother, no. - Yeah, what? - I would argue these guys aren't celebrities. - Sorry, if you're the NHL scouts, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - Are you really trying to argue that the victims of 9/11 who are dead don't count as celebrities? - This is your hill. - You're trying to be like, "No, these are celebrities." - Yes, I think it might be insensitive to say, but I think time might have healed this wound a little bit. - Just give it to them. - I think that's a good argument. - I think it's a small give. - I fucking give it to them. - There we go! - Rip Ace Bailey, the NHL scouts. - Yes. - And William Bigert, which I saw in there too, which is the crazy last name. - Rip that guy. - Rip that guy. - Give it to him. - I don't know, Michael Jackson was scheduled for a flight. That's what it said on that. - Oh my God. - They really? - He could have been on it. - If my dies on that, I genuinely, I rock is a crater. - Oh my God. - It wouldn't go well. - Oh my God. - If my died on that in 2001, Rob Lowell, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Jackson, were scheduled to be on flights or at the World Trade Center at that time. - Michael was scheduled on that flight. We scheduled shift for a lot of weeks sometimes. - We need to make sure he needs to get back to a certain place. So we scheduled like 60 flights to make sure that happens. - That's what Seth MacFarland said. He's like, everyone talks about this. I miss flights all the time. I usually get different flights. He himself was like, it was a lot, but it was a high chance I missed that flight anyway. - Oh my God. - So. - We wouldn't have got family guy. - Yeah, a family guy. - I think they still have family guy, right? - Family guy is really early. - Family guy is early. - 2001. - Does it? - And fall season, I think, family guy came out. - So we would have gotten a little late. - Family guy came out took a break. - Oh my God. - Holy shit. - It came out took a break and then came out again. - Yeah, it got canceled after three seasons and then had a research on adult swim and then they started the machine up. That's a shout out. What a good episode one name. - That's what you guys are. Olden days. - Do you guys like check? You guys look at your calendar today? - Yeah, I did. - Yeah. - Do you see the day of the week? - Monday. - Monday. - It's like aspirin, 'cause I have to take baby aspirin. - I have to take baby aspirin? And we have a cathart together. - I don't know how anything else is. - No, I just said, I have to take my aspirin. - I've launched with some friends actually. - A lot. - Oh yeah, it was a friend's? - I'm going to your lunch with friends. - And like a dinner? - No, no, it's like a lunch extended dinner in a condo. - You want to, you want to? - No, I want to go to a chubby cat on Monday, Aiden. - No, I want to go. - You know, today might have been your, here's the problem. Ludwig's busy in the evening. That's why you have to do this dog shit podcast in the morning every time, 'cause of him. If it wasn't that way, we would probably do it some more fun times. - Five PM and so, I'm talking Aiden. So there's a problem where he does stuff in the evening and you want to chubby cat on the evening, you don't want to do that. - Yeah. - And if you don't want to do that, I don't want to do it. - Can I ask your ideal world? - You may. - But is it? - Actually, yeah, this is a good question. - What, like topped, like let's just say a world where we achieve everything we want to achieve. So we record-- - We record week scheduling? - We record just Monday. We record the pod and we have chubby cattle. What time are these happening? - I don't want chubby cattle. - Well, let's just say you have to thought it in. - Okay, so it's not my ideal world. No one should acknowledge it. - It's your ideal timeline for a world that's not ideal. - That contains chubby cattle. - And the podcast. - And the podcast. - Okay, I have to be alive. - No, no, no, no, no. (laughing) Is there at least a dog with knots I can talk? - I think, genuinely, a chubby cattle into the pod at like nine p.m. is probably results in the funniest version of the pod with nine to 10.30 pod. - Yeah. I mean, I just, I think that we would be more animated at night after, especially after eating some chub. And again, my job in my line is create a funny environment for us, right? But as we do that, after eating a little bit and then going and doing the show after a whole day, that's good time. - I'm good, good, good. - I'm in the sheriff's sleep. - Cut chubby cattle out of it. It is your ideal world. - It's only in the end. - 10 p.m. podcast. - We have, all three of us have nothing to do. - 10 p.m. podcast, the podcast. - 10 p.m. podcast. 10 p.m. podcast. - What about the primo? - Primo, we do it the next day, 10 p.m. primo. - Primo! - We could do it in the morning 'cause it's a little different and I like the difference, I like the variance. 10 p.m. we close and we open. - I like the variance, I like the difference. - We close and we open, we close and then you got to open, but at least you know you close, so it's like it's not messy and shit. - Yeah. - That's a restaurant. - I hate closing. - Wow. - I hate opening. - I hate closing more than I hate opening. I hate mopping. - I like closing more than opening. - I hate mopping. - I like the opening. - There's no responsibility when you close. - Opening is responsibility. - The responsibility is great. - Opening is fine when you get there, but in closing is better when you're, like, the road to closing is better and the road to opening. - You get to start closing early like you can overlap. - You can start closing early. It's just the place I worked, the mop bucket was so shitty and it was literally a hazard where the linoleum was so slippery if it was just slightly wet, you would fall and break your fucking neck. So instead of like a, you just mop and you put your headphones in, you might accidentally step on it and fucking hurt yourself and it was scary and I hated it. - I would just tactically try to get myself placed with shift leads who I knew I could like give eyes to and be like, we moped yesterday. We really got him up today. - Yes, bro. - And they're looking, you and they're like, come on, I'm like, we'll do it tomorrow. I work with you tomorrow. I'll do it. I'll do it tomorrow. - Tomorrow comes, I'm like, the floor is the same yesterday. We really gonna mop this shit. - You start doing business at the table. You say, can we run this one twice? - I'm like, the mop doesn't even really clean shit. - Dude, it hurts dirty mop. Everybody I worked with at there, he was so sick, except for just this one manager. And I remember, I feel like in hindsight, she had a sadistic need to torture her employees because she made, everybody made you clean. You have to clean as a part of the job, but she would make you go in this the mop bucket dump out area and it was made of some sort of material where dirt would get in these like really tiny cracks, but even if you took like steel wall or a sponge, like you'd have to scrub it over and over, like five minutes in each spot to like really get it to disappear. - You talking about the floor? - No, no, no, it wasn't a floor. It was like this, like more like the material that like a tub is made out of, but like way rougher. I don't know how to describe it. - Oh, like the mop corner thing. You had to clean that? - Yeah. - She would, what the fuck? I know. You should clean that. - She would make me clean it. I'd have to get like knees in the tub and I would like scrub, scrub, scrub. I'd be there like 10 minutes and I'd be like, look, I've tried to scrub out this spot and she's like, do it again. That's unbelievable. You don't have to. - And it was every soak it. - Yeah, soak. - Every week was just a dice roll of not getting on the same shift as her. - We had a, I think it was the coffee bean. We had a like weekly, like daily cleaning list and then we had like our once a week deep clean that like if you're on that shift, you have to do the deep clean. And it was stuff kind of like that but never that crazy. But it was like cleaning all the drains and like scrubbing certain like cracks. - You know what my pride and joy was cleaning the bathrooms? - You like really? - I didn't like doing it but I liked after it was done, I was like, that's a fucking clean bathroom and I felt good about it. The mop is, the mop, I ruined my brain. - Oh. - Even if you make the floor wet if someone's just steps in, now there's a dark spot. - Yeah. - Ah, because it was white, it was checkered. - It was a disgusting place. - A white floor in a fucking restaurant. - It was a checkered diner. - Oh my God. - So you know what I'm working with? And we had these giant rubber mats behind like the bar, like set up with the holes. - And they're stink and they're wet. And they're heavy. - Yeah, they're so heavy. - Fly them out. And then you just got to put them out there and put them out there and then you mop and you bring them back in, dude, closing sucks. Fuck closing. And school is right in school. But also I love school and it was the best time of my life anyway. - Anyway, I would go back. - I would go back. - Ideal, we close, we open. - What's your ideal? - In the Primo. - We're living it, baby. - We're living your ideal. - Imagine that. - We have to make sure I deal. - I would do one slight tweak. - What's that? - Probably three less late wigs than we have right now. - I was here on time. - Huh? - I was here. I was here. - Three less late wigs. - Why are you getting no audio? I didn't say you. - He's. - That's beautiful. - He was a little bit. Today I was chill. You're meeting right over. - Well yeah, but I only because I knew he wasn't here. I'm a sad. - I explained it to Yingling. Yingling was like, because he's in the group chat where we schedule stuff obviously for Ludwig. And Aiden said, "I'll be five late." Yingling walks in. I'm playing Street Fighter. It's like 20 minutes before we start. And he's like, "Aiden's gonna be five late. Aren't you mad at him?" And he's like starting to start shit. And I have like, Yingling, I've been through this. Here's the thing. Five minutes is 10. Five is 10. It's 11, then it's over five, which now you can make fun of him for it. But if it's nine, that's five. Nine is five. 10 is five. - That's right. - And I'm splitting this all to him. He's like, but he's not going to be over. He's not going to be 10. He's going to be like, he's going to be like 17 minutes late. - He mailed it. - And I was like, "Yingling, even if he is, it's going to depend on a lot of other fire. I've been doing this a long time. You're trying to rage-bait me. I will not be rage-baited." And he's sad. - What's up with him about 17 is that it's 20. It's not 10 or 17. It's 20 rounds up, but then it's so late that 20 has to be 20, because 20 can't be 25. - No, no, no. - Because now we're doing what we do. - No, you're giving them any munitions to be wrong. - But yeah, I explain to you, and we all the nuance this. He's blown away. - I just put in my little punch card for this fiscal quarter of my late-to-the-boxes. We all get one per quarter. - Really? - Yeah. - Did they roll over? One per quarter? No, they don't roll over. - They definitely don't roll over. - It could be perfect for two years if you're late two times in a row. It's huge. - He's like killing yourself, bro. - What we do is doc pay. Valve prop pops off. - It doesn't solve it. He doesn't care. - I care? - Yeah. - It was us. - It was us. - I don't think that it's right. - Yeah, it's the rest. - You guys are acting like I'm a problem. - No, you've been good, but you've had to be good. And zipper, yeah, zipper gets the rest and posts it too. - It's me clear. - I did say I'm going to be late today, and I just showed up on time. - Oh, yeah. - I was glad you're in college. - Yeah, but you did it underneath Aidan's late, which is a superseding of late. So it's like, you're still covered under the late umbrella, like, as he called being late first, right? - Yeah. - Which is, it gives you. - No, this makes sense. - Yeah. - It's a lot. - Late weight is different than late. - It's just, we're all late, we're coming back. - You make mistakes. Nope. No, I don't make mistakes. - No. - You make mistakes? - Yeah. - I'm a stakeless man, actually. - Yeah, wow. - And he is on time most of the time these days, because he gets here early to do Chinese with Michael. - Which sounds like '69, and he's your Zhong Goran. - Well, he gets here early to do Chinese with Michael. - Just doing it Chinese with Michael, and I hear it the way you hear it now. - Wooshir Byron, boo, wool, the shin, shir, Zhong Goran. - My Xbox Live just ran out, and now I'm on the run from the police. - Is that what you said? - I'm a white man, but my heart is Chinese, man. - Wow. Your accent, I can hear how flawed it is, and I don't speak Chinese at all. - Can you give me, okay, really quick, I just wanna keep you locked in, and give me your most serious, like don't make a joke, don't be like, you're some serious accent with the phrase. Like, you had to really blend in, you don't want someone to realize you're a tourist. - If they do, you get killed. - You're wearing the Jackie Chan wax face. - Hit the pronunciation as best as you know how to with your most comfortable phrase. - Uh-huh. - Okay. - I pulled you over. - I would go. - Me how? - Okay. - That's what you get. - Me sure. (laughing) - Me sure, Buddha. - It's disgusting, we can do it. - Me sure, Buddha, don't she? - Do you imagine? I cut like some like Alabama self guys. We get like invaded and taken over by China, right? We are in Chinese state. - Yeah. - And then you get like the Southern Chinese accent. - Oh yeah. - That'd be kind of cool. - So the Chinese accent. - Yeah. - Whoa, sure. - Maybe how long. - And he's got a big ass belt. Don't they have larpers in China for like American West? - I don't think it's super popular in China. It's definitely a thing in Japan. - There was a mini doc I watched about this Chinese guy who was like really obsessed with Western cowboy movies. But then he moved to the US to Texas and he just started working on a ranch. And now he knows English and he's full. He's a full time like ranch worker and like works for a farmer. - That's the dream. - And he's just living his dream. - That's his weeb dream. - Yeah. - They have a city in China that was worked on by the architect who worked on Orange County. And it looks like Orange County in China. - We should go. - We should go and walk around my old fucking stomping grounds. - And you go, they go, oh, shit, they got a fucking blue bottle. - Oh, we had a blue bottle. - If we had a blue bottle in OC, that would have been lit. - We did not. - It's a blue bottle, but it's like state run and Xi Jinping just his face is on it. He's got an apron on. - Is that a red bottle? What is that place? - I love red bottle. - I agree. - You guys are gonna like look in. - You're lucky. - Lucky. - Lucky and coffee. - Is that's called? - It's their big coffee machine. Oh my God, we have to go. - It'll be fun. - All right. - Does your dress up in suits and go gamble? Are you excited? - Let's go gambling. - Let's go gambling. - We're gonna have fun, man. - And then we're gonna meet you. - And then you're gonna maybe. - We're gonna meet you. - It is a big maybe, isn't it? - Maybe. - Are you? - Maybe I won't be there. - If you don't finish. - Maybe I'll fucking mom be there. - Maybe I'll fucking won't be there. - Why? - I don't know what happened to me. - Do you think it's more likely that you finish on time or don't? - Do I think it's more likely you finish on time or don't? - I genuinely have no clue. - I go in blind, I have no, I can't name more than five cities in China. Was Japan on time? - Exactly. - Japan was exactly on time. - What's your five? - It's money. - Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu, Chongqing. - What about Guangzhou? - Guangzhou, that's the one. - That's how you say that? - Guangzhou. - Guangzhou. - Holy shit. - Shenzhen, Hong Kong? - I mean, yeah. - Sure. - That's cool baby. - Yeah, that's more. - That's cool. - You got there. - Whatever, bye. - But the thing is none of those are on the route. Like literally I think one is on the route and the rest aren't. - It feels like this time the route is longer and you guys are less, you're just less good at the language this time. - Yeah, we are. - That's gonna be the hardest part, I feel like. - We are way weaker the language. - Watching you crunch and flail around is so flailing. - What percentage of Mandarin do you think you know? - I'm at like, like one. - Yeah, you're one. - I'm at like one. - One? - It's pretty good. - I have one for sure. - I thought, last time, like during the last series, something that was good was Michael kind of covered Ludwig's basis too. Because at the beginning, it felt like there was an offset of what Michael knew and what you knew. So if like maybe you couldn't remember something, he could remember it and if he couldn't remember it, it was the opposite. And this time you're both starting to know. We both, we have different, so Michael knows how to say like, I don't have a girlfriend in Chinese. - Yeah, that's an important phrase. - And that's, okay. - Did you learn that one too? - Ludwig knows how to say. - Do you know that? (laughing) - I don't know how to say you ain't shit. - Where's the word? - How many words are there in Mandarin, total? - Dude. - A lot. But I think like the actual like day to day language, it's like 3000. - Sure. - 100,000 plus words, how much should we have? - Hasn't estimated. Why is it estimated? Don't we have this dog in it? - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, this, fuck. - Oh, 'cause there's a bunch of fucking words, bro. - Oh, fucking words, bro. - But language is like fucking weird. - 100,000 is not that many words. - The language is weird, man. - Yeah, like, it's also modular. It's like, what is a word? - What is a word are there? - I don't think there's like an easy number of words, bro. - It says we have a million. - But like we're not using like 95% of words. - Oh, the dictionary only lists 171,000. - 171 words in current use. Active vocabulary is another great way to say this. - Active vocabulary. - My active Vannac. - Yeah. - I'm using inactive Vannac. - I'm using inactive V. - Oh, someone also in the comments of the one I wasn't on, they said you got some kill streak wrong in Cods. - Yeah, you did. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm like, what makes sense to me? You know, I sent back a picture of my fucking watch. (laughing) - Have you guys seen that clip of me on Xbox Live yet? - No. - It is a B's clip, which is my life. - Yeah. - The context is I got a message from some guy. I don't remember exactly what he said. But like, I'm just streaming and like talking a shower whatever and we're in like a public lobby. He like places higher on the scoreboard or something. And he messages me and he's just like, can't keep up or something like that, like some sort of shit talk. Where do I send this to you? I'm gonna put it in the, in the yard chat. Oh no, I'm gonna put it in there. Yeah. And I had a little trick up my sleeve for this man. - Did you have this premeditated? - No. - When you got kill board mugged? - No, I did not. I did not have a premeditated at all. But I had, I don't know, I had a tool at my disposal. I was excited to use, but I did not at all have this premeditated. - You turn up, please. - Look, he may be absolutely shitting on us, but check this shit out. - This is Nick going to messages, going to add a picture and then pulling out the very rare USB camera dongle. - Oh my god. (laughing) - And then just zooming in on his Rolex, holding the camera is mouthed by the way. - It's like a great Xbox picture. - And it looks like a picture you take on a chocolate LG, but just of a Rolex. - Bro, I, I am blown away. And he sent it to Star X, Star 666. And he did the same thing to me with a, by the way, with an old pick. - No. - All because I knew that a five kill streak was a fucking pred. - And he sent you a gun at that one. - He sent you a gun at that one. - Dude, it was precision strike. - That was really cool. - That was really awesome. - I was really proud of that. That's cool. (laughing) 'Cause you know what's cool about that is like, it could feasibly happen 15 years ago. - Yeah. - And it just, it's still happening today. It's like running the Rolex fucking, and all right, I message him the real flex is the having the device to get just. - Yes, the device, and sending it on the surface. - That is truly the real flex. 'Cause that is not a very common device to have. - Everyone can get a Rolex. Not a lot of people can get that. - It was hard to find one in person. (laughing) - The camera, that is. - How do you more people have Rolexes than active, like, actively have that camera? - That can't be seen. - Why am I not even close? - Did shake ever pawn the one you got him? - No, you never got him one. - No, shake bought him himself one. - Shake got himself one, yeah. - Tough. It's 'cause Ludwig canceled the deal. - It got like two or three Rolex. - Blue, blue Datejust. - Blue or three? - I think he's got two or three Rolex. - Shakes got it like this? - Yeah, he definitely makes it off. - He had two or one. - We have a Doc Shakes pay. - Yeah. - I don't think so. - I, 'cause back when it was just shake and pull the tooth drizzle. - He could have multiple watches. I think he only has one Rolex. - Well, that's right now, bro. - Do they're a blue or a green Datejust? (phone ringing) - Damn it, twos. (phone ringing) - He's sleeping, bro. - I don't know. - You know, yo, how many Rolex do you have? - I have one, really. - Broke ass. (laughing) - You're so quick to make it a win for you. It's so beautiful, I have to do it. - Yeah, I don't need to highlight it. - Here's the ultimate irony. Is back when I was, it was like knee Ludwig and Radstats were the first full-time employees and then it was Shaken Polite and it was big editors. And he said, I wanna get Shaken Polite Rolexes for at the end of the year. And then I think we both just forgot about it and they never got it. And then Shaken had to buy his own. - That's on you, not on me. - It's on both of us. - It's on on me. - Oh. - Yeah, the idea, I didn't get back to work. (laughing) - He sent me a text, kill yourself. I also have an Omega. - Is Omega not, is Omega not, I don't know what that is. - No, it's not. Omega's like a much cheaper brand. - Oh, that's cool. I gotta have a phone. - I gotta have a phone, what do we do? - I don't have a phone, fuck y'all. - Should we go to the Swatch, huh? - Maybe they'll get a Swatch. - Swatch is nice. - Oh my God, you are the Swatch. - You are the Swatch, fucking primary demo. Oh my God, Swatch is like that mall rubber band. - But it's cheap, right? He's a bit of a princess. - By the conglomerate, I believe that owns Rolex. - We all are watch cast, you are Rolex. You are Swatch, you should be an Apple Watch guy, to be honest. - They're too annoying, I'm too lazy for an Apple Watch. - I've only been using one for my heart. - Yeah, Rolex, Swatch, Spongebob Watch. Like Spongebob Happy Meal Watch. - Oh, a little too ironic though. I'm getting older, man. The game and watch, the real game. - Oh, wow. - That's time. - It could be a Casio head. - Have you seen that, have you seen that roulette watch? - I'm naked. I'm naked puss. - Look up the roulette watch. It's by some famous fucking like Jacob and Co, or some shit. - Um, oh I got to write it, it's crazy. - That's sick! - And it works. - That looks tough as fuck. (laughing) - Wait, what do you want? - It drops like a little ball in it? - In a ball inside, you press a button, it spins. It spins for a hell of a long time. - Now, now you have my attention. - Yeah. - It's $300,000. - There's no bitch. - You don't have to make it that expensive. - $310,000. - This company is just known for making these like very expensive kind of novelty watches. - Oh my god. - Dude, what? - Gross. - $300,000. - It's, I won't say the word, what it is, but it's, it's that. - That's so wild. - The big book of Patek Philippe in the back. - Yeah, that's gross. - Been the wheel. - That's a fake number, bro. - I wanna see, I wanna see him. - And we're spinning the wheel. - I wanna see him. - Have you guys seen the Spider-Man watch? - Yeah. - Whoa, there it goes. - It actually spins kind of awesome. - Dude, it bounces around in there. Dude, you take this to the Epstein party and you start gambling with the teenagers and shit. - Dude, it's kind of an impressive spin. - Yeah, Scott. - Oh, you should've called him. (all laughing) - Bet you goes on black. - Wait, look up the Spider-Man AP. And then I want you guys to guess the price. - What's AP? - Advanced placement. - DK, it's like one of the most, it's like-- - Patek. - No, Patek Philippe. - Autumn RPA. It's like, when rappers say she gonna fuck me for that AP, they're talking about this watch. And this is Spider-Man blasting out like Spike is 3D game over here. - What do you think this watch costs? - Well, you're asking because it's probably expensive. I would say $100,000. - Can you give me like a zoomed-in picture, zebra? I wanna see if there's diamonds. - You're full of the price, Bill. - Oh. - Oh! - Wow, $6.2 million. - That can't be for real, dude. - Yeah, you should've been there to solve it. - I wanna guess the corner, man. - $6.2 million? - Isn't that hilarious? - How many of those did they make? - Not a lot. - They're just can't be there. - And it has like a thing that makes watch, certain watch is expensive, where it's transparent on the back, so you can see through the watch. I forgot what they're called, expose or some shit. 250 of them? - Yeah. - Do you think they actually sold for that? Or is it like marketing? You can just say that it happened and then lie. - They've been purchased at that price. - Wow. - The Spider-Man ones. - Dude, just so really rich guy who loves Spider-Man. - These are guys who do buy, but I think I'm not wearing these. - Dude, that is insane. - It's really awesome. - Oh man. - John Mayer maybe might have one. - Of course. - Yeah, crazy watch collection. - He does? - You're a watch guy now. - So you really have kind of always been one. I had a watch collection because I was a kid. - Really? - Yeah. - I didn't know this. - I didn't like wearing them that much for a while. When I was like, "Ah, I want to get a nice one, so I got to wear it." - My body does not allow for this hobby. I have to remember when you guys found my Apple Watch, you all laughed how skinny the thing was. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's why I'm not, I don't really, I'm a watch guy. - 'Cause watch your gay petite Reese. - 'Cause I have wrist and your gay petite Reese. - I was so self-conscious about this in school. I was looking up how to make my wrist thicker. Can't do it, there's no Muslim ass. It's all tendon. - Yeah, I was so conscious of my arm hair. - Yeah, well. - Oh, I got tiny wrists, who am I? - So anyway, down in the comments below, if you made it this far, I want you to tell me one thing you're self-conscious of and how you've summited that and beaten that idea in your head. - I like that. - Have you gotten over being the self-conscious thing? - And make sure, reminder, go on the reddit and upvote the slime. - Creep pose. - Yes, most handsome Greek. We want slime to be the first image result. - I'm still tax-fugitive. - You are tax-fugitive. - I think that's pretty cool. - For real? - Can it be? Guys, can it be a fucked up picture of me? Can it be one where I look like? - It should be the guy who likes the slime. - The Kaisenat pick. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah! Most handsome Greek. And it's my Kaisenat picture. - And it's Kercified Slime Kaisenat. - Yeah, I'm a Ironman. - We're complicated. - Bye, bye. - We can't be simple. - All right, well guys, we'll see you in the Primo. Charlie Kirk be with you.