Ep. 234 - A Very Normal Episode

[MUSIC] >> Can you dangle your legs off of it? >> You're nuts to the whole. I thought you were going to say you're nuts. >> No. >> Do careful, dude. Don't get the raw denim all over the bleach though of the chairs. >> Yeah. >> Gonna stain the metal, dude. >> This is so crazy. >> Yeah. >> You're in that cream raw denim all over the place. >> This is an audio listeners. You couldn't imagine, well, maybe you could, because you're tapped into Ludwig universe. This is also the construction episode. >> Yeah. If you're an audio listener, this is the worst episode of the yard by a lot. There's construction. >> Yeah. >> Imagine what? Imagine Nick Engling is, he's got like a jacksaw of Amazon. >> He's got a reciprocating saw and he thinks it's a plasma sword. And then imagine Ludwig, this part's not a joke, in a big chair. >> It's so. >> I don't know why you guys are like so hung up. It's a normal chair. >> You think it is? >> Is it? >> It's a normal chair. It's just so weird about it. >> The other chair I had broke. >> It looks like the normal for people like Gaytree. >> True. The other chair I had broke, so I just bought a new one on Amazon. >> You look happy. >> You look happy. >> You look like you have cancer, and this was your big wish. >> Yeah, with the Red Bull hat too, to hide, to hide, you know, how you look. Dude, he came, he was wearing the full outfit, and like these like weird like Red Bull shorts. He looked like Sneco. >> Dude, he just looked fucked. This is all fucked. >> Yeah. >> He looked crazy. >> I don't know why you guys make such a big deal out of this. >> I look normal right now. >> I think people watching our home are thinking he looks pretty normal. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You guys look weird to me. Can I say that? >> Well, how so? >> Let's grab it. >> I don't know. Just like Ant. >> I can't see his eye line. >> I know. >> Just like Ant. >> Literally armrests. There you go. Hi. >> Well, you want me to dangle. >> Oh my god, it's the sun. >> You want so much. >> You know what, I realize this morning that I think you guys can relate to this 10% of all my conversations, lifetime with Aiden, have been had with him having cream cheese on his face. >> Is that so? >> It's so common. >> It's like 10%. >> It's so common. >> What do you think? >> Or let me, can I make it a little more fair? Some sort of food. >> Can I interject? >> Okay. >> So much balder from here. >> Do you think so? >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> That's cool. >> I'm getting a top down. >> Is it like a, it's a way to strike. >> You look crazy top down. >> I look crazy top down. >> Okay. Well, give me the, what is it? >> Your body folds more. I don't know how to describe it. It folds more. >> Yeah. >> Like it's fatter. >> That's not the words I would have chosen. >> Okay. >> It's kind of, it's more crazy than I should have. >> It's actually worse, I feel like. >> From head on, I think the black distracts. >> Okay. >> From above, it's like that picture of the woman wearing three different types of stripes on her dress. >> You have cream cheese on your head, on top of your head. You don't even know this. >> Yeah, we can't see that. >> It's literally on top. >> But if they can't see it, then it's like. >> Is it even there at all? >> I think it. >> I think that ups the numbers then to like 50% all-time conversations with cream cheese. >> I'm wearing on your body, not in your mouth. >> Yeah. >> Why do you think that is? Do you think you don't know how to eat? >> I've never seen anyone with food on his face as much as they can. >> It's crazy. >> We have a whole lot of food on his face. >> We have food on his face. >> He did. >> And I'm like, I'm going to let him do his thing. But like, you guys not- >> No pressure. >> No pressure. >> Christian has a feeling. >> Christian is the king of food on his face, bro. >> I feel like he knows it though. >> He's the king. >> I do think he knows and he lets it sit there. >> He's got that energy. >> And he's one of those ones where you tell him and he goes, okay. >> No, you didn't. >> Man. >> Oh my God, dude. >> I have to tell you guys. So unfortunately, Nick Gallagher's. >> Who? >> Virtually Kelley's back in the office. >> We all said. >> Oh. >> Nick Gallagher comes back and he always steps on a landmine. >> 40-and-slip. >> Kelley's back in the office. >> Kelley's back. >> To much to the chagrin. >> I've pulled everybody. Much like the old lights argument. I've pulled everybody. >> You don't pull everybody. >> You didn't pull everybody. >> Why didn't you pull you? >> He pulled Nick. >> He would find the pull. >> I pulled everybody. >> You would find the pull. back in the building. It could be how polls work. 101% of participants agree that. Yeah, you're plus. Yeah. You start with the gear that you ended the last game with. And so much of the sugar in everybody, but to sort of lighten the mood in this dreary atmosphere, he sent me something over the break he was on because he went to Japan and he went to an apex event. Dude, he said, for one, he said, "Create an Erica Kirk Twitch account and start regularly chatting in bloodstream." But that was a different conversation. He said, "What? What was that one?" He said, "Can I get up?" Bro, I hope you're happy. It happened again. I'm at an apex event in Japan, all caps. Some player from a team I've never met before comes up to me and goes, "Are you Calbee from the yard?" And I say, "Yes." And then there's like no follow-up from that. Because it's like meeting Hock Tua. Because the person is infamous in an uncool way. So the combo is just like, you know, it goes anywhere but the yard slash Ludd. And then at the end, he just leaves by saying, "Don't worry. I don't believe what they say about you." Just a pitiful attempt to console me or something. It's a dream. It's absolutely a dream. You're ruining Calbee's life. He's in Sapporo, Japan, surrounded by Japanese netsyans. And he's trying to enjoy himself there. Yeah. A safe place from your terrorism. And he's being followed. Does it speak to the level of influence that I possess, the electricity that I emit? It speaks to the, yes, the misuse of your power. Yeah. How is it a misuse? I don't know, it's misuse. Because you are having a poor young man be terrorized. He's this cop. A poor young man. A working class. A working class, a working class, a working class young man who's trying to make a career for himself. I just saw the little gross earnings under Calbee's name for the year because we did annual reviews. And he's working class can't even make a job. I can't even make the joke. Yeah. He makes it by with a few million a year. And he somehow is able to scrape enough to go on a trip. His one trip that he gets. And that one trip is ruined. I will say, I don't think it was in Calbee's like psychopath, chalmo, play it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. No, no, no, you have to attract that one day. And you're calling him a psychopath. Can I have one? You can pick one and it can't be Chalmo. Damn. I will take one then. I will say, I don't think it was in his playbook of life to have any sort of infamy past being on like a CLG podcast. And you know, with all them kids in that house, what's crazy is that they recognized him. They did. Because we don't show him, we just talk about him. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe maybe it was our description. Maybe he was walking around going, I can't help it. If you only listen to the yard, it's going to be massive. That's the only guy. A guy who looks like an attack on Titan. Maybe, sawing these shirts. Why do you do this? Because he literally said it. It was funny. Everyone kind of cleared out and it was a little late at the office yesterday. I'm playing Street Fighter. And it's Kelbo, Liza, Alicia. And we're sitting there. And he he stands up and he's there for a long time. I don't know why he stayed so late. Because they're watching the National Football game. They were watching the championship. And he stands up. Oh, yeah. Dude, I'm not kidding. Every time AT&T put shut up on the screen, he would point out and go, AT&T. I'm not kidding. You can ask him. That's isn't that beauty that he finds joy in something. He still loves his job. You know, you you would do the same thing if Aerith appeared on screen. It's I think it's different. The contestant's on the Beast Games, dude. Jimmy's like, bring out AT&T and they're all like, oh, yeah. Let's go. What does it mean? And they brought out Nobuah, Uematsu. Again, I think it's different. How's it different? One makes art doesn't make it into one scenario. Like Final Fantasy. Yeah. So I'm likes it. That's not the difference. That's the difference. You know what? Down in the comments below is AT&T just like final fantasy. I think yeah. Maybe now. But not back then. Not back to here. Okay. So he's there and he stands up and he looks it. He looks around. I'm playing true fighter. I'm playing Sagitt. It's not fun. He's very hard to play. And I'm like, and he stands and he goes, isn't it sagot? You're seeing it like it's a slur, Bob. Yeah. No, it's Sagitt. No, no, I'm pretty sure before. We did his last up. It's sagot. You're just doing it in the big chair now. The big chair wiped his memories. You you like to get mad at Valorant. Yeah, that's different. This is this is different because you do it. I'm like, I'll use this out. I sound what? That's what you sound like. You go, yeah, you're the fuck. I'm playing the Sagitt. You need to probably be here. Yeah. - Come at me. - Yeah. - You can come at me? - I can't come. I can't go at you. You don't want per quarter. I want per quarter, I just fuck. That's when you're a straight, you know. You guys, I'm not even, I'm not even in February. - No, my name on Street Fighter's Kai's to got right now. So I'm playing and he stands up and he's like, "Why is it, do you think will be friends for longer?" Or me and Slime will be friends for longer. And she's like, "What the fuck are you talking about?" (both laughing) And I turn to him and I'll be like, "It's definitely Liza, man." And I just go back to fighting Street Fighter. And then he's like, "Huh, well, I will say this. "You keep me humble. "You definitely humble me. "I like how you humble me." And I said, "Jesus Christ, stop talking to me." And I kept playing. And so I'll say, my point is here, probably appreciates the fact that I humble him. - That's your point. - He said it himself. - Humbling him by making you more famous. - Sometimes I feel like you have no point to a story. I think you just want to do the Kelly voice. - No, I hate doing the Kelly voice. - Is it reminding of Kelly? - You don't hate doing the Kelly voice. - You could just have said what he said about the voice. - If you laid and doing the Kelly voice, you wouldn't do it this much. - That's true. - You do it so much. - I've been defeated. - When he's up in the big share, I just have to listen to him. It's hard to, it's just, it's been the crazy. - So yeah, that's been the office. It's been miserable, I'll say it. - Oh, it's not as you wouldn't be here, dude. You like it. - You love it. - You like it. - And if Kelly wasn't around, you would have a hole that you couldn't fill. - He wasn't around for two months and it was spent you and you were fine. - And you were pretty, you were looking at me and brother. - I actually did have a realization that Kelly, Kelly coming into all of our lives and being president at the office and being this lightning rod for slime has actually made my life more free of harassment. - I actually, my life, slime is dramatically less attentive to me because Kelly exists at my agro table. - Yeah, fuck the, I'm getting maybe a shot a week now because Kelbo is my great savior. - And slime runs out of juice. - Yeah. - He runs out of bowly juice. - Yeah, I only have so much. - And then he has to play video game to recharge. - Wow. - But I don't know since Kelbo's been gone, you've let yourself go and you're talking about it. I think you're like looking good for him. - He's finally getting back. - Oh my God. - He's getting back at everyone. - Oh, 'cause he has come good too. - He definitely deserves to do this. - Yeah, it's all good. - I got CGs and I'm big now. - I got CGs and I'm back in town. - I'm back in town and I'm gonna make it bad for everybody. (laughing) - Herb and Kelby got home there. We stopped had an edible arrangement at his front door. It was all chicken. - The wings stop that he orders at was going out of business. - It was, it is comical to be gone for like three months and walk in with the largest wings stop bag. No, no man, it was so big. - I never expected that. - It was like a target shopping bag of wings stop. - I mean, you go back to Japan, you're not getting a big bag of family chickie. You know, it's like why they're wrong. - I would just be in Japan thinking about wings stop the whole time. - It's just wishing. - It's like I can't wait to get home. - Show me the green and white. - We're gonna have a fucking ranch dressing in this country. - Dude, I will say it's funny too 'cause when he walked in with that giant bag, which shake wasn't here at the time. Christian wasn't here. There was no one to share it with. It was a very damning celebration. It was just a garbage black hole of wings. - I asked. I was like, hey man, two for one is over at wing stop. So like, is that kind of change your plan? Your output, the amount you share with shake. You kind of was just like, it looked at me. Like I was fucking zombie, dude. - Yeah. - It looked like he couldn't hear me. - He didn't even really dare to ask me. Just spend more money on wing stop. Like, put more money in their business. - Oh yeah. - He doesn't even want to deal. - Buying wing stop treasure. - He keeps you a wing stop deal. - I don't imagine you're like drink red bowl and eat wing stop. - And it was all paired together. - And then he gets a free wing stop. - He gets that? - Yes. - Live like an athlete. Drink red bowl and eat wing stop. (laughing) - No keys. - Pretty good macros. - Proteins there. - Proteins there. - You're touring macro. - What is the bread bowl? - You need the touring macro. - You're having the touring for sure. That's cool. - God you're rich. - They put bowl sperm, is that a myth? - What? - It's a myth, they do that. - They say that. - Bowl sperm? - And I wasn't, I wasn't. - Dude, put bowl sperm in the middle. - I don't know how much it's gonna say. You realize that there's bowl sperm in it. - Bowl sperm in the red bowl? - There's not, it's all bowl sperm. So what else did they put in? Is the question. - That's how it comes out. - It comes out exactly like the original red bowl came out. - And naturally carbonated bowl sperm. - Delicious and tart with caffeine. - Dude, it might be a contract break to help both of those. - Put that bowl's cock in my mouth. - Has that been said yes? No, yes. Has that been said before? - Oh, if it comes out like that. - Has it been said that's some tart sperm? - Yes. - It's been said. - Of course it's tough though. - Most adjectives in sperm have been said. - Part is crazy. - Tart? - Yeah, dude. - Alex isn't even on tart yet. - Oh no, no, I can teach him that one. - He's still on sour. - He's still working on roll. (laughing) - And shake. - So distracted. Zipper walked in the room and he never does that. - No, he said he put a thumbs up. Zipper has hands. - Zipper has thumbs up to show that everything was okay. - He was one hand to be clear something. - Yeah, he lost the other one in numb. - And that was Zipper's on the side of the body. - What the hell were you in Florida? - I was in Florida because I was at the national college football playoff at the engineering team. Why are you a sports guy all of a sudden? - Huh? - Why did you become a sports guy all of a sudden? - Love sports. - What happened? - Love it. - You always liked sports, but you were a patriots guy. - Tom Brady. - Now you're a troll around sports guy. - Aaron Rodgers. - You love Los Angeles names and you look sexy and dark. - Right, okay. - A bonix. - No. - No. - What, what do you mean? - No. - No. - Josh Allen? - Yes. - It is grand quest to be like the ultimate normie like Megazord. - Is that what it is? - What is it? - I'm never gonna make more from you than that sentence. - It's true. - Gross normie Megazord. - Okay. - That ass is Nick Fuentes' last tweet. - That's not. - I'm not in a Miami club. Siege Hylings. - That's what you are doing. - Huh? - What are you doing? - Are you hanging out with them? - I'm not kidding. - No. - I genuinely think they're like, if they watch me. - If the political climate shifted a little bit, that shit gets in Fortnite like in a week. - Oh my God. Well, they already did the Nazi stuff in Fortnite. Remember that? - No. - Yeah, they did that. Remember when they put John Cena from that movie in Fortnite? 'Cause they got like, they didn't weren't told. - What? - Okay, so what was the movie? - It was a peacemaker. - peacemaker. - peacemaker. - All right, so there's a scene in peacemaker where John Cena is, I won't do it. - In the season. - Yeah, he's making a swatziko with his body. That's what he's doing in the movie. Like that's the actual context of the scene is that he's making a swatziko with his body. - Okay. - But they released the skin as promo for the movie. So the movie wasn't out yet. And you know what on this team told Epic what the context of the dance move is. And so they put it in the game flat out and the movie comes out. And it's like, it's just, you know, it's him being Nazi stuff. And they were like, we're taking it out of the game. - This is Epic propaganda. They watch the whole movie all the way through. And they're like, let's pick an ima. And they're like, I thought people would like it. - Of all the things you can do with your human body. Like we like this one. - No, I mean, I don't understand anything about college football to be clear. I was there because AT&T asked me to be there and give me free tickets. - And you do what they said. - You say how long? - And I do what they said. - How long? - And I said, and I said it. - Your calls that are so long AT&T. - Your calls are long. How long do you want it? - And so I went and when AT&T came on screen, this is what I did. I did the Kelbo. (laughing) But yeah, I know, I know almost nothing about it. Actually, in fact, there's, I didn't know this. There's like a coach called Signetti. And so they use the Marble logo and they just put Indian under it because it's SIGs. But I didn't get that. So somebody had had the Marble shirt. I was like, that's cool, what's that? And they go, 'cause Signetti, and I go, who's that? - And they just got mad. (laughing) - They just said, what do you mean? - What are you doing here? - And I was like, my team Sarah's on a state. (laughing) - And I feel like the in-bred cousin of college football. (laughing) - You're just just like rich influencer, head to tone and AT&T trench coat. Like, what's everything? What's a football? - That's the exact same version of Ludwig that was at the Kendrick concert. - Yeah. - No. - That was the first time he'd ever heard a Kendrick that was breaking it down. - You're breaking it. - I was breaking it down. - Yeah. - Me? - Yeah. - I almost got on stage. - Oh, you broke it down, cheers. - Almost. - That was pretty crazy. I would've seen a lot. - I would've seen a lot. - He would've, he would've snoop dog walked. Like, it's in Fortnite. - Mm-hmm. - Isn't that crazy also? That's Crip Walking is in that game? - Yeah, they changed it a little bit, but yeah, Crip Walking is in Fortnite. - I didn't know that. - That might be, no. - No. - Before it came out, that wasn't a sentence yet. No one said, I hope there's Crip Walking in Fortnite. - Well, it must have, because otherwise how would they add it? - The beautiful creative, talented team at Epic Games. Yeah, this is not the Crip Walking. - This is snoop swat. - But it's very close. - No, I'm not Crip Walking. I'm snoop walking. - I'm snoop walking. - I'm snoop walking. - How is snoop dog managed his way into everything? I don't understand. He's a cultural eye. I think most of that legacy, like cultural iconography has to do with what makes boomers and Gen X guys feel like they're still relevant. - But it's Fortnite. - Uh, Fortnite's really weird to me. I don't get it either. - Fortnite will take anything that has a piece of culture. - You'd M&M's in there. Marshall Mathers, you already did a Kim? - I'm actually getting to a point who's not in it? Who? - Ro? - Besides what? - I was close too. - Like what mainstream, like mainline celebrity is, who's the least famous person in it? - Who's the least? - Kurt JD. - In the game? - No, it's probably not Kurt. Who's the least? - He's in it though. - He's in the game, right? - He's actually in the game. - Kurt JD in the game. - Does he do the goonies dance? (laughs) - But that can't do. (laughs) - Come on. - He's talking ways less than you. - Talk to him on the phone. - Oh man. - He's a good shape. - We're the marathon. - Hey, we're the marathon shape. - We're the marathon shape. - What can you do? What can you do? - You would get destroyed by a 5K. - A 5K would crush me right now. - Are you in a marathon? - I'm wearing a heart monitor. I'm allowed to be a little fat. - Yeah. (laughs) - Look at it. - Did we get to meet? Let me see it. - You wanna suck it? - Whoa, I don't know. - I don't know you wear that. - I have to wear this for a week. - I didn't know you wore that. - When did you get it on? - Like two days ago. - Thought I'd take out the fucking Flipper Zero. - I fuck yeah. (laughs) - Fry it. - Good luck with your zero. - Uh oh. Better dysphoria, whoops. - Fuck no. - What the other one? - Uh oh. - Speaking, as you said in Brad Cousins, speaking in Brad Cousins, I had an idea the other day, I was driving in the car, and I was thinking we could fix pretty much all problems in the world if everyone government issue was given a famous cousin. - If everyone government issued was given a famous cousin. - Everyone gets given by the government a famous cousin. By Bert, you are assigned a famous cousin. - Don't, don't. - Like famous. Like they're pretty famous, bro. Like the, probably the bottom is like clay-acons your fucking cousin. - Yeah. - Wow. - And the top is like, you know, Timothy Chalamet is your cousin. - Oh yeah. - We can't shut this down, 'cause I think this is Nick's first idea that doesn't have to do with going back to school. And it's like, we need-- - We haven't heard the whole, but yeah. (laughs) But think about it, dude. Like what excuse do you have if you got a fucking famous cousin? - Excuse for what? - Like, okay, like making it. Like if you can't make it in this world with a famous cousin, that is such a leg up. - So you're saying it's like a injected social mobility - Yeah. - Program. - You know, you can't cook good grades. You do whatever. It's like, well, I got a famous cousin. At the very least, I can go to my famous cousin and be like, what do you got for me? Hey, can you get me an in and in NBC? - Wow. - Hey, can you guide you construction on your house? - So it should something. - Something, 'cause they're fucking famous and fucking you'd probably win. - So we all deserve it. - Yeah, I think you need to lower the floor here 'cause there's not enough famous to go around. - I think Ludwigs. - No, I think about it. I thought about this. I got there in my thoughts. I wasn't, this isn't the shower. It's a shower thought. - I mean, it was in the car. - I mean, it was in the car, it was in the car, it was in the car. - Yeah, with you achieve fame, you now start getting cousins. - That's up to your aunt and uncle. I don't know. Do you get cousins? What do you ask me that for? - No, no, no, no, when you achieve a fame. - What? - Do you get assigned cousins? Like in the cell? - No. - Yeah. - When you become famous, you were assigned a cousin. - But my fame is-- - When I become famous, I get-- - I see what you're asking. - I see what you're asking. - You know what I'm saying. - So you would be assigned a cousin at birth by proxy of being a normal human. But when you become famous, you would then become the cousin of someone else. - And your original cousin would probably fucking die, dude. - Why would I die? - Why would I imagine that? - No, no, no, no, no, they didn't take that back. - No, they didn't take that back. He lives. - Okay. - Have I hit the little fame? - Imagine you died. No, he lives. But you get assigned a guy as reggae. - So I have a reggae. - Okay, I have a huge question. This is a crucial question in the theory. - Sorry. - This is your theory. Okay, Timothy Chalume. Does he just have one cousin? - Yeah, he's assigned one cousin. - Okay. - He also has, he also has, he can have regular cousins than the natural cousins. - I think I did get it. - This is a math that I think the math doesn't work. - No, there's little. - Do you see this on your clothes? - You're required. - By the way, none of this works. Like fuck the math. None of this works talk to math. - You're a math doesn't calculate. Am I hypothetical? Your math doesn't work on my podcast. - I think he's still, I think he's still, you're requiring a 50/50 split of human beings to be famous and not famous. - I think we create famous people out of the people who were once reggies, bro. It's self-sustaining. - What we need to do is do free parking in our life. - It's self-sustaining. - I think we need to reset Nick. - When you no longer need your famous cousin, then you no longer your famous cousin. - The day I rejected an idea, every idea that he's followed up with has been worse and worse. Like they've gotten to the point where it's like, it's liquid poop. It's poop that's just liquid. - It's liquid. - It's liquid and we bottle it. - Is it a food or is it just, it's a food and a drink, and the FDA considers it both. - If it's for consumption, I'm not in. If it's more of a practice. - Right. - If it's more of a ritual, if you will. - If we are okay, you know what? 'Cause you're on to something. - You know how it's easier to drink your calories? It must be easier to-- - It's not for consumption. - It's a factor. - It's not for consumption. - It's easier to drink your calories, right? So if you take, now we have liquid poop, because presumably if it's a liquid, it's easier coming out the other way. - Right, it comes out smoother. - When it comes out smooth. - It's what we're saying. - I got menthol poop. - menthol poop. - That's all bad idea. - We're gonna cook on that. - Can you speak to it? - Yeah, when you go on that, it can be through my family. And you like kiss your cousin. - It's cousins who kiss. - You can't use a kiss. - It's like a minty-tay. - Yes. - That's all cousins. - This is fucking easy. - That's not bad, bro. - Yeah, this is fucking easy. - Just stick to that. - On like just from like a math perspective. - There's enough cousins to go around. - I promise you that. - Wait, hold on, wait. - They don't gotta be famous in my world. - They don't have to be famous. You just have to kiss 'em and then get the minty-tay. - Right here's the deal. - It's all dipped or is it some sort of natural product? - It's like a spark that happens only when you kiss your cousin. - Ooh. - Oh, so it's latent within every once. - Yes, it's a latent ability that awakens. - When you kiss, it detects. - Maybe that attacks if it's your cousin. - Because it exists already. - If it's my cousin, then mind on. If it's my step cousin. - Oh, it's like a free basis accent. - It doesn't activate. - It's like something they know. - See, it has to be a by-blood cousin. - It's going closer than cousin. - And that's kind of how you know. - What about, there's a tear, like second cousin? - No, shit. - Yeah, but it's weaker. - Second cousin. - Yeah. - But so many cousins have before the second term. - It's like a zero-nickment thought, then. - Like if I'm on my fourth cousin, am I getting anything out of it? - I mean, it's like how many people down the human centipede trained you have to go for the food to not give any calories. - Right. - It's a hypothetically you don't want to find out. - Okay. - Let's just say to cousins. - You say it's a spark that only happens when you kiss your cousin. - That's like the slogan. - Yeah, that's on the can that you want to find out. - This is a product or is a government issue? - It's actually a very anti-government. - It's, oh. - The government is trying to chop this. - If it's so wrong, why does it feel so right? - Why does it feel so right? - Yeah. - Kiss your cousin. A spark you'll only feel. - Kiss your cousin. - Down below in the comments, if you've ever been in love with your cousin, please explain your story. - Everyone's got that one cousin. - Everyone's got that one-ass cousin. Hundreds or thousands of cousins. I mean, yeah, we're all related again, his con. - You're good, potentially? Yeah, I mean, in my program, you'd only have one famous one. And you pretty much wouldn't even know the rest because it was a government thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine is like, you're assigned. Oh, it's like a lottery. Oh, my God. It's like, you go, they cut the gender cake. - Yes. - And it's like, it's a boy and also Regis. - Regis filled it. - Yeah. I mean, you get your famous cousin for not much time. You're gonna have to go. - Oh my God. - Are you dead? - That was my question. What happens when one of either the cousin or the reggae or the cousin- - Why'd you go back? - The fame- - We were out. - With the famous cousin and the reggae guys. - What'd you rather talk about? How's Fusley? What do you want? - I don't love him. - What did you want? - He went back. - Why don't we talk about how you guys are never gonna get to 16K? - It's like we drove out of fucking Makersfield and broke pop to UE. It's like, what was there? - Guys, I've been into smoothies recently. But I'm realizing that smoothies, one, inconvenient to go get, I got to leave my house, two expensive, for $25 smoothies. - And three, you keep boarding your money, and I'm going to Airwall. - I'm going to Airwall, yeah. - That's exactly where I'm going. - Don't go there. - You can't spend $25 on a. - That's all you have to do. - That's the only smoothie you keep. - The only smoothie you keep. - The only smoothies you keep. - I don't know if there's only smoothies. - No, I'll tell you something. - Everyone's the only, what was that? - You keep doing it. - 'Cause I was like, you once. - Okay. And I ended them in a flexing-passion relationship, a passionate relationship with the guy who made my smoothies. - You were once in a passionate relationship. - I was in a passionate relationship with the guy who made my smoothies. I just stopped going there. - Well? - And so now, I don't even have to deal with a person, because I go to Hungary route. - You go to Hungary route? - Yes. - I've heard you order it as well. - Is that one of the options? - To help prevent me from entering other passionate relationships with different men who make smoothies. - Ah, so I went in. - I go to Hungary, which offers high-quality nutrition. - Fuller of the offers. - Smoothies, I maybe believe you. - What don't they offer? They offer smoothies, sweets, kid-snack salads. Like, they have the savory faction and the sweet faction. It's the only neutral territory is Hungary route. - Yeah, they're air-dropping this in New Jersey to swell the rebellions. - It's the DMZ of food. - Yeah. - So, looking at this straight, they send me the smoothie to my house, and I don't have to go to the grocery store at all. - They'll send you ready to eat meal kits. You can make it 50 minutes or less, brother. And they ingredients are held to high standards. And I'll hold you up by your underpants if you don't fucking buy this. - Oh my god, really? - Yeah. - Last box, I got short rib french dip sandwich. - Teriyaki chicken and broccoli, but he knows what I eat. - That's what I eat. - That's what I eat. - That's what I steal it from you. - I paste her cheese ravioli with bruschetta. - And I can take the short rib french dip sandwich. I can make it a smoothie. - Well, they offer more specific smoothies to traditional-- - What happens if I go outside to get the box of Hungary route? And I get in a passionate relationship with my mailman. - I think it's hot. - Wow. - That's on you. That one is on you. - Does Hungary route do anything to step in there? - The end user license agreement, specifically outlines that it has nothing to do. - All mailman are asexual as well. - Thanks for delivering this one through. - And they're sterile. - I think they'll do that. - Come in and I'll make it for you in 10 minutes. - Yeah, so if you want to try that on your mailman, take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time, get 40% off your first box. - Take advantage of this. - What? - Get a free item in every box for life. If it was 15 minutes or longer, the mailman would leave. - Go to 0.com/theyard and use code the yard. Tell your root.com/theyard. Use code the yard. You have 40% off your first box. A free item in your choice for life. And the mailman might just give you a plan to a smooch, an asexual smooch. - If it doesn't hold up my route and it doesn't hold up my route. - All right, let's get back in the episode and-- - Oh no, my mailman's my cousin. - Oh my god. - And he's been fall. - And the mailman's my cousin. - Oh my god. - That makes sense. That makes sense. - I, you know what? The guy who made this chair, he called me by my government. So it's on site. - It's on site with that guy. - I'm begging to be on the podcast. - Well, you weren't there for that. - But I heard about it. - I know, and it's annoying that you get mad at shit you weren't there for. - I wasn't there for when they storm the Capitol. I was mad. (laughing) - Okay, well, you were there. - You were the right to be mad because those of us who were there, you know what actually happened. We saw Ashley Babbitt put one put her head. - And that wasn't fucking cool. (laughing) That wasn't fucking cool of them. 'Cause who are they there to protect? - Dude, matching with Ashley Babbitt on hinge and then the next day. (laughing) - Tough. We were gonna have a great day. - Oh. - Oh yeah, so the guy gave me the chair and he's a huge yard head. Call him by my government. And he called you by your government. And I heard that and I went, ooh, shouldn't have called him by his government. That's a slime angle. - We don't even say that much. - Y'all don't even. - It's a crazy thing to do. It's like, 'cause you know everyone calls him a slime. - And so we're telling you he's got the chair. We do our thing. - And he's like, all right. How many subscribers come on the yard? - And I'm like. - And I'm like, boom. - And this has been probably camera. - This is boom. - I did put two and I miss both. - We just fucking floor, bro. Be here 'cause he's alive and missed. - And I was, this is after he called you by your government. And I'm like, and I'm just thinking of the conversation going to slime. Be like, what do you think about having the guy who gave me the chair who called you your government on the yard? (laughing) And it's not a no, it's worse. - It's worse than a no. - Or she can say it's no. - No. (laughing) - I know if you're watching, I know it's like, you're already thinking I could make him a sign that says slime out of late. I'd make it, it'd be huge. You could put it on it. Don't, no gifts. - No, no. - No, no. - My affection isn't something you should strive towards. - We'll pull the L. - You want his indifference. - You want my indifference. Indifference is probably the greatest gift I can give you. - I want you as difference. - As a fan. And my vast deference. - You want my vast deference? - I want your vast deference. - Okay. - You can have it. - All three years of vast deference. - They're the vast deference in my clan. - There's a vast deference in my clan. - That's funny. - There you go. - Okay, that's, you're doing okay. So how do you feel about the chair? - I love the chair. - Yeah. - I love the chair. - Crossman can be cringed. - What I said to him. - Raptor cringed. - What I said to him, I was a complaint. I said if he hits a million subs, I'm gonna make a pitch. - To me. - Yes. - I mean, it's a million subs. - In a year. I give him one year. - Raptor cringes is not a bad idea 'cause this is pretty much the only time he can play. - He's at 40k. - 40k subs? - Yeah. - Okay. So is he pretty good? - What was that noise? - Because that is enough subs to have a sense of validation. And a sense of, I think that's why he was, I guess brave enough to just keep mercilessly asking if he can be on the pod. - Right. (laughing) - So Theo, this is what you have so affordable. (laughing) - But if you get a million subs, yeah, come on the pod and I get to talk to you and then-- - Get to talk to you. - And then yeah, it's a win-win. You get what you want and I get to ask you questions. - You're saying that like bad cops do. - No bad cop. No politic here. Where are you gonna read his Miranda writes out? - Why would I do that? I'm not a cop. - I'm an ice agent. (laughing) - Wow. - Yeah, I get the whole fucking eye, I guess. - I don't need to do all that shit in the cops. - I don't need to call that shit. - No. (laughing) - Yeah, sure man. How do you feel about that? - I don't care. You're agnostic about everything. - I'm agnostic. I got a chair out of this. It's a cool arrangement for me. I'm using this chair every episode. - No, no. This is not like a reason. - This is actually the marker for season three of the art. - Season three. - Big chairs season. - Big chairs season. - And every few months somebody gets elevated. - Okay. - 'til we all have big chairs. - In the last die, die? So what is, all we all just get there? What is there like a? - One of the chairs is actually a pitfall and you'll fall through the ground. - Oh my God, I wish we had a trap door. - Well, on the second floor. - They can definitely hear that construction, right? It got so loud, I don't know where. - It's okay. - I'll show you the barely here. - You gotta put up with it. Be good, pretend that you're listening at your construction job. This is what, this is what Tiberius 209 sounded like in the background. - Tiberius, he missed Tiberius. - I know about Tiberius. - No, you missed it. - I know about it. - Please. - Ah, I shouldn't. - You really? - We'd rehash it. (laughing) - Actually, it's in the Patreon, so we wouldn't rehash it. - But they pay for that for a reason. (laughing) - You wanna wanna lower the value of this? - He's such a nasty little slippery bear. - We should keep it for them, no? - Right. - It's raw to him, it's raw to him. - Right. - We're talking raw to him. - All right, show me it then. - Oh yeah, I was gonna say, when you said vast deference, I was like, well, speaking of sharing seed, is Zipper, can you pull up what happened to me last night? I almost showed this to him on the computer before we potted, but then he was like, let's just watch it on the pot. - Zipper loves a full blown in bread plane, Minecrafts. - That's such a mean thing. - That is a simple thing. (laughing) - What the hell? - What? - Full blown in bread, full blown in bread. - We can get dark if you want later on. - Let's get dark. (laughing) - Zipper loves watching it. - Okay, yeah, I was playing last night. I tend to get to the nether, it's really fucking hard. - By the way, pretty awesome gear here. I'm seeing it's probably full diamond or close to, diamond sword, diamond pick, 'cause I love a bucket. That's pretty swag. I don't know what that last bucket is, is that a reserve fish there? - That is a bucket of water with a fish inside. (laughing) - That's so strange. - Just in case. - He's my friend. - You traded for that, I'm assuming? - No, I just, I caught him. - Okay, it's a bridge bastion, you're looking for the chalice. - And put him in a little hole. - Yup. - Did you already mine the gold? - Yeah, mine the gold. - Okay. - Now you're-- - This is after walking around for like an hour in the nether. - You're falling down. Oh my god, it's a brood. - Oh, it's the bad guy. - Well played, well played. - Like that. - We stare down. - He nods, he goes, oh, I didn't realize you're gangster. - Oh, fuck you. - Oh. - No, well played. - What the fuck? - No. - What the fuck? - No bro. - How you fucking do that? - You just placed lava on yourself. - Oh shit. - If you see closely, I was scrolling to my pork chop. - Yeah, that's, oh my god, you learned the lesson. - To. - I learned my lesson. - What's the lesson? - The lesson is, use hotkeys and keep lava buckets far away. - Well lava bucket's fine in the inventory, it's always use hotkeys never scroll. - Look at. - Never scroll. - I mean, this is the melee equivalent of getting a starKO and then jumping off the map and killing yourself. - Wow. - The legend of lucky. - The last thing this guy saw as he laid down to die was you killing yourself with a bucket of lava. - Yeah, the scroll down's classic bro. - No, I've done that. - But not that embarrassingly, obviously, but. - Well, who's gonna put it on fucking LSF? - Uh, cool. - 'Cause that guy looks like Bulby's gone. How are we gonna get this shot on LSF? I think I'm good with my shit. shit, WNL's like, I stream Minecraft and I get dudes sometimes about the top of the category, which is like late at night or something, and the people that file in, I, please, no, not about to think here, I don't want to do it in my chat. Like, what can you do? She created a funny link that shuts their computer off. I would love that your chat knows nothing. I would love that, yeah, infinite power or whatever. Yeah, but it's a pacepin and it fucking breaks their old PC. Yeah, it's Arabic Zalgo that, that ruins their whole life. That'd be cool, but what you can't do that anymore because of whoa, so you're just, you're trying to complete one full run, right? Hard core, it's not, it's not speed running. No, all right. Not even, it's not even close. Is that the farthest you've gotten? I've gotten to bastions. I've gotten to, what, what you laughing at him for? You asked, I think I said it bad. He said it could be bastion. He said, I've gotten to bastions. I've gotten to bastions, and I've got, I got to the fucking the fortress. The close I've ever got was got to a blazeponer, and then they just cut my head off. But as you go to the bastion first, no, okay. And that's it. It's hard. What can you do all the times I made fun of you? I meant it, but now we're the same. We're not the same, but it did not take me this long. I mean, if you got this right, you guys are going to be the same. I have this right. What's this? I don't know. What's this, Joven? What is this? Oh, yeah. Check this show out. Okay, that's what I was flying. Yeah, that's a pro clutch. So the basically the fall damage would have killed me if I don't know, because I'm good now. I'm good now. You also didn't freeze up, bro. You fucking acted. I acted seconds. The thinking you fucking act. And I, and it's what you do in those seconds. That's the difference between a Carson back in a Fernando Mendoza. Sorry, sports reference. No, no, yeah. He was, I gosh, he was 19 and she was 17 and it was a whole thing. Oh, do you know about the 13 year old and the 20 year old babysitter? No. Is this like a joke? No. Shut up. Have you heard the one about the problematic age cap? You hear about the pedophile and the look child. Do the pedophile talk to him? Carl Malone right now? No. No, that's, that's a whole different beast. Look up Utah Jazz Mormon babysitter. This is different than Carl Malone. So different. What, what do you do? Carl Malone is just a, a sexual abuser, a deviant. What's it? A pest. Amidst family drama, Utah Jazz numbers. What's his, Kyle Flappowski? Yeah. So Kyle Flappowski was a basketball player and he's his, his young kid. And he's great at hooping and his, he has a babysitter. And she takes care of him. Okay. Okay. And he's a kid. He's, I don't know how old, maybe 13. She's an adult, right? 19 or whatever, 20. And then, and then he's looking like a pretty good prospect, huh? NBA caliber. And, and ends up going to the NBA. Are you a baby theater at 13? I don't know the exact age he was. They don't teach him how to do math. He wasn't Mormon at the time. You go to his Wikipedia, he wasn't going to make sure he doesn't reach soda. Is he, he wasn't Mormon. His babysitter was Mormon and his babysitter converted him to the Mormon church. And then, married him, they're married now. And then he got drafted by the Utah Jazz, because, because they get, uh, they began dating when he was in high school and she was 24 or 25. They, I think there's like the, the, the, the normy person sees shit like this. And I think they sweep it under the mental rug and I was on a plane once. And there was these two people, they were talking very loudly to another person. And it was this older woman who actually kind of looked like that, uh, Israeli man's wife, uh, in the no politic here clip. Actually very similar and visual. We all know, yeah, by now, come on. I have heard it more from your mouth than I will ever from the day I take here. Can you make a picture of her, by the way? And it's, uh, and it like a younger guy and they're talking to this person. I'm sitting behind them. They're talking very loudly and they're talking to this person. They're talking about how they met because they're a couple. And the guy is like almost half a rage, like at the very most. And they're talking, and he's like, yeah, actually, I was his teacher in middle school. And, and then the person they're talking to, he was like, Oh, that's fun. And she's like, yeah, the joke is that, uh, you know, he create, I create a robbed him. Ah, they're just, they're just like this couple and it's like, this is the conversation that happens all the time. These are the normal people. Like, ah, whatever. What are you going to do? Are you going to do? Is it what are you going to do? I'm sitting on the plane next to you. I'm sitting on the plane. You're like 30 years old or maybe you knew me when I hear my nut sack. You know, I think you're just sitting on the plane. You're like, wow, this is crazy. And I'll surely tell the people in my life about this later. But for now, we're stuck in this metal sarcophagus. There's no value in me, of course. I agree. There's no value in like confronting them and be like, do you think there was a problem with that? Or that'd be insane in a way. But also like, I think that this situation, as far as they're concerned, the couple, they're like, yeah, this is like normal. And kind of interesting, like, but I don't think it's like normal, normal, like because that also, if it catches wind on the local newspaper becomes national news, like how many communities know? Different communities that ask are like, yeah, that's fine, probably soaked them. Jeez. So good, my teacher. My life, I hate to go back to it, but my, I would have solved this. Like, she's like NBA prospect. I don't, I already have a fucking famous cousin. I don't need to. She doesn't feel in need. Right. I need to grow on this. And this is, and this is, I've already said too much of everyone having a famous cousin. I wasn't on board until you said that. I've already said too much. That's her. That's them. Wow. He got really tall. And he stopped talking to his family. He stopped talking to his family. Yeah. Wow. Kyle Philipowski. What can you do? What can you do? What can you do? Look at that. The top middle picture now. God damn. He's tall. He's tall. He feels. Brother, he's a first round pick. He's a hooper. Sometimes you get roamed by the babysitter. Oops. Is what it is. Oops. Unlock. Unlock. Unlock. Where is he from in Orange County? That's what it said. Yeah. Boy. Dude, this could have been you, Nick. If you were slightly taller. Oh, he said it was born in New York. Wait. He said at the bottom. Oh. Go to the very bottom of his page. It said it somewhere. Or just maybe control it. Orange County, Philipowski projected. Oh. Is that Orange County in like a different state? Awesome. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye. I don't know. There's probably a whole list of errors. I don't know coding that well. Why? I don't know. I never looked into it. It's not a background porn, but it's scary. Scary porn. Scary porn. Scary porn. Scary porn. Scary porn. Scary porn. Scary porn. Something about tech. And error 402 is shovel dog. Right. Error 34. Which one was the one of it? He found something. There was no porn of it. And then it forces you to make it on the spot. You have to make it open to MSP. Whatever you can get out. Well, we would love it. Nowadays, it'd probably be fucking open. Google. I like that error. Whatever number that one is. I like that one. I was at the game. I was at the game. I was at the game. I was at the game. I was at the game. Yeah. I'm, I'm shugging down the souvenir cups of sugar-free lemonade that I got. Right. And she comes up, she goes, "So who are you?" I was like, "Oh, I'm Ludwig." She goes, "Oh, okay." So you're like, "And an influencer?" I was like, "Yeah." She's like, "Okay, so what do you do?" Does she look like that Israeli guy's wife? She looks like the Israeli guy. Wow. So she's gorgeous. She sounds like a lesbian. What? She's married with a man. She can't be a, "Okay." You got there. That's cool. That's impressive. And she goes, "Well, it is a girlfriend is dating a lesbian?" That's true. That's true. She's with a woman. She wishes she lives. That's right. She asks what I do. So I, I. Why? And I say, "I'm the best Minecraft player in the world right now." I like that. And she goes, "Oh, wow. I think my son plays that or Roblox." And I quickly know where she's going. She plays Roblox. He plays Roblox. If it's my son plays that, it's Minecraft. If it's, I think it's one of the other, it's 100% of the time Roblox. And she's like, "No, maybe it's Minecraft." And she's like, "You really, like, that's, you play Minecraft?" Like, really? At first, she was like, "There's no way." 'Cause I, she asked my age, and I said, "30." Are you ready to type it right now? You don't play Minecraft. I was like, "Yeah, I'm the best in the world. I speak to her, and I'm the best." He goes, "Okay." And then she facetowns her son. - No way. - Oh man, he checked. - And he's like 10, and she's worth the stadium. - You're face sold out. - You're face timing her 10 year old son during the middle of the college football championship. - Yes, and it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, So loud of the stadium and she's going, and she brings a cause. She goes, "Do you know how this says?" And then she puts it on me. And then he looks at me and then he does this. (laughing) And she goes, "It's a lot of weight." The floor I'd stare. And he's just trying to scan like if he's ever seen me ever. And then I know how to get out of this. So I go, "Stake, the YouTuber's steak." Who's a really big roblox YouTuber? - Okay. And then he goes, "I know steak." And then she's like, "Gray, honey," and then hangs up. And then-- (laughing) - You just set it? - And then she gets like a text like a minute later. And it's like, "Mom, I know him. I didn't know him under that name, but I know him, I watch all his videos." 'Cause he knows steak. - And you featured on this, you know? - No. It's just a YouTuber who really looks something like me. I just said I was. - Oh my God. - That's fucking funny. - You're dude, you are. - Do you look him up? - You are going through the legs on both of them. - Should I ask him about Bundan? Oh my God. - Like Bundan, he probably would have known Bundan. And I might have been featured on Bundan video, I don't know if he'll put it in. - Dude, I thought you were gonna say "Stake the gambling website." - Yeah, I was right. - That's what I thought. - And I was like, "This is a pivot." - "Stake the roblox YouTuber." - What a good little-- - I'm gonna go out on a limb. I don't think you guys look alike. (laughing) - No, not particularly. - You took me fucking crazy. - You look at reacting to my Instagram. - You can bind all four of us. - Yeah, you might get there. - Dude, he looks way different than you. Wait, can you go to iQuit? - Wait, he's popular. - Yeah, he's-- - He's a-- - He's a lot of trampoline pork, he's lit. - He's a roblox YouTuber. - I like the identity of the steak with the steak picture. That's pretty cool. - The steak with the socks by the way. - Why does he suck? - A different guy from College Humor. - 'Cause AJ Brown drops every cast on his way. - He used to be College Humor cast member. - I didn't recognize him. - What, where are we watching? - What, this looks like a slime video. - Have fun. (laughing) - I think you got the percentage change. - No, I see, if I was 10 years old, I could see how I think that you're the same guy. - Wait, check his live stream. He's playing steal a brain rot. - This is so crazy. - Do you play more? - No, it doesn't look like it. - Steal a brain rot. - Anyway, this is Gary Couls, ZFG. - She, she was like, she was like, what's like a thing I can tell my son. And I said, she was basically saying he, he plays brain rot, just steal a brain rot, which is the most popular game in the world right now. - Yeah. - How does it work? - Do you like have a arm full of brain rot, that you can get from a conveyor belt? And sometimes a conveyor belt spawns like a really good one. And then like you mean us. - Yeah, is that old shit? - Yeah, I spawned both. - In like a public server with other people. And so like you wanna grab it, but maybe someone else grabs it, and then you put in your house. But then people can steal a brain rot from your house. So like when you enter a public server, like maybe you have like a pink elephant. - Whoa. - Whoa. - Everyone wants to steal it. So you have to protect your home from getting from robbed. And everyone else trying to steal your brain rot. - How do you shoot them? - Your ZFPS? - You can attack them. I don't, maybe there's guns in it. - But if you log out, is all your shit just gonna be gone? - No, no, no. You can only have something stolen if you willingly go into a public server, which you would only do if you're, 'cause you accrue money when you have a brain rot to buy better brain rot. - Right, of course. - So a flag PFP or just a flex. - We are, we are seeing, we're hurting these kids. - I don't think so, 'cause it's actually the same as being in the runescape at the edge of the will be. - It kinda sounds like all your gear on. - And then like with all your gear on, like taking like 12 steps into the will be, you know, it's like a flow. And then sometimes you actually fight. But most of the time maybe it's just flexing. - Yeah. - I'm actually picking up what you're putting down. - At least in a runescape though, it's like the things you acquire, fucking gold and things that can be transferred. Like, oh, it's money in real life. I get it, more of this maybe is better. - I mean, really, it doesn't matter. - Where am I gonna find Venus? - If you're in your, oh, you're in Fowldoor the runeskimme. - That was bad. - That's gonna help to know that. - We know enough people who kept playing runescape till now. - Yeah. - We can look back and say that runescape definitively, bad. - Runes their life. - First suicide. - Runescape their life. - I don't think you're still playing steel brain rock. - The only good thing. - The only good thing is that fewer people played runescape growing up than are playing steel brain rock right now. - Yes. - Like, no else still plays runescape. - Like, if your argument is like, well, we all used to play runescape, and it's like, well, if everyone played runescape, we'd have a society of psychopaths. - Yes. - Yeah, I don't want that. - It would be the kid purge all day, all along. - Now if everyone had, that's not even fun. - And let's only want that, because you don't even want fucking enough. - I don't wanna think about it. - You don't even wanna get to that fucking point. - I actually mostly wanna think about kissing my cousin and tasting menthol. - Taste that spark. - Taste that spark. Dude, a five, an old five commercial where it's two cousins in the electricity is just crazy. - Crazy. - That'd be such a crazy can't. It's like the folders commercial with the brother and the sister. - Tired commercials crazy. - Dude, that commercial, they had to know. - They resurfaced a little bit ago. - They had to know. - They had to know. - They had to know. - It's just too long of a stare. - It's too much. - The hug's crazy. - The hug. - Oh my god. - They gotta remember that that Campbell's commercial, man. - With the rolling can. - Oh. - Or is that Campbell's? - Yeah. - That was fire. What happened to commercials, man? - We don't watch TV anymore, man. - I mean, no. - We don't watch ads all day, though. - I watch a lot. - I've been watching a lot of ads. - When. - For fun? - No, 'cause I've been watching. - Why have you been watching a lot of ads? - 'Cause I've been watching football, Aiden. - Yeah. - There's ads or in football. - He watches sports. He's a sport guy. He's the normy man. - It's this, but it's a fleshlight going towards like a goon cave. (laughing) - It's a guy, we got rocks. - Oh it's right. - You both said it was Campbell's. It's Jeff Boyer again. - Yeah, I feel like it wasn't Campbell's. - Oh, I remember this one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Classic. - You know what Alex said, fell off the other day? Girls wearing coconut bras. - That did fall off, bro. - That did fall off. - You don't see that anymore. - I don't see that. - I think they were too. - Dude, dude, they took crazy, bro. - They took it away. Also the coconut. - You've been crazy. None of them wanted it. - If you're allergic to the coconut meat and make your breasts red. - Is that real? - Pap is all the time. - Oh my God. I think you're allergic to the coconut meat. I think-- - You gotta take it off. - You gotta take it off. - I think you gotta take it off. - Quickly, ah! - Oh my God, the coconut meat. - It'd be better for all of us. - You know what's good. - It's also immediately. It's the scary thing that comes out. - It's better for-- (laughing) - You put them in Times Square. - Ah, yeah. - I mean, I would wear one. - It is all men. - Did you just search men in coconut bras? - You just search coconut bras? - It's literally all men. - Dude, zipper has like a-- - That's-- - Like a, I think what Google is trying to assume about you, zipper. - No, this is fed us. - Is that real interesting? - Man, we coconut bras. - Zipper is fed us. - We coconut bras. - Zipper is fed us. - We took those gay, bro. - Of being a gay zipper. - Dude, by the way, a lot of it did, um, I have a question. - Yeah. - So when everyone found out that the Groc image generator could undress people and children, did anyone start replying to your Twitter pictures and undressing you? - No. - No. - I don't really have any pictures on Twitter though. It's not like-- - Right. - So it would have to be someone posting a picture of me and then doing it, but I just wouldn't see that. - Yeah. Well, it's usually happening under things you have posted, which is why like every woman on the internet turned off replies and 'cause it's-- - Anyway. - I don't think I've posted a picture on Twitter in a minute. Before they disabled the media tab, there was like a big tweet that went around that was like, "Go look at the Groc media tab." - Yes. - And I had never done this 'cause like the moment Groc came out, I block muted it. So like I don't ever see replies or anything from it. And I was like, "So I unblock it, I go and I look." And I'm like, "I'm scrolling." And I'm like, "Oh my God, how?" 'Cause like if you're employee at the company, you know about this. - Yes. - Like we all found out probably as users late, if you're not in the Groc. - In child porn. - They all in C.P. But we're all the employees had to just know. And they're just like, "Ah." - Dude, Elon Musk was dead. - He was the Figma. - He was dead ASP in like, "L.O.L, this is so funny." - Well, I don't think they code Groc anymore. I think they treat it like the ancient Greeks treated the gods. They just burned part of their meal in front of the server room. - And hope he changes. - Yes, they hope that they just smell a little. - So with the power of AI, he does. - He does. - And you need to sacrifice something. - And you're like, what's the food that would maybe promote less food? - You being this like grizzled, like it sleep deprived. H1B software engineer at Twitter, who just doesn't code anymore. And you just like carve up squirrels in front of the server room. (all laughing) - Oh, he met Groc changing. - That's what the fuck is a valver doing now? They got hired for portal three. - Yeah, that absorbs a small indie dev company. And then they're now they're just painting blood underneath their eyes. (all laughing) And just wearing like buffalo antlers and screaming at each other. - Every morning you come into the office and a projection of Gabe from the yacht. - Yeah, but it's like on a cave wall. (all laughing) - Nah, dude, we're so fucked. - You come on the screen, like villains doing movies. Like Chair turned around. - Gabeen? - And his yeah on the yacht. - It's Skinny Gabeen. - Yeah. - Is he Skinny? - Y'all been bro. - Yeah, man. - And he's old. - And he's like 20 Gabeen scuba diving, sure. - Your scuba diving. - You see that interview he did in kind of recently. - Groc, show me Skinny Gabeen. - He did an interview kind of recently. We did some random fucking guy. - Yeah. - And it's like-- - He does a lot of those. - The guy, he doesn't know how to interview, like he doesn't understand the technology. So the audio is fucking unlistenable. But it's just like someone cornered. and it's on YouTube. It hasn't done something like this in a while. - Yeah, he's like, how the thing is? - Oh wow, yeah. - Skinty, skinty binge. - Skinty gay man, wait, who's the guy in the interview? - Just literally look up fucking gay man in the interview. - It'll be the first result. - It was Nick Shirley. - And he was asking, he's like, is Half Life a real thing? Did that really all happen? - And his go to the middle of it. Like, click on any gay clip with audio, sorry. - Do you think that's the yacht? That just looks like a real hotel. - He says, I think he says in the interviews on the yacht. - Worker, that's what I think sure I get on it. - Just unbelievable. - He's the whole interview. - Just in an all day. - How many views does this have? - Still better recorded than I did in reviews. - 100,000 views. - You don't mean that, dude. - I mean, this fucking 2K subscribe YouTuber to the better job of you do, Aiman. (laughing) - We're just a fucking guy. We can fucking hear the guy. 'Cause it's a point of fucking interviews. Here's the guy. - Where's the guy, Aigle? - No. - We just must this out. - This is so awkward. - Has this shown any other way in their moment? - Gapes been doing interviews for a long time. He'll turn off. The old thing is that he used to be able to show up at Valve and just talk to him. And then they probably stopped doing that, but they're probably stopped doing that. - I mean, that's probably, that looks like some guy just emailed him and he wasn't busy. And he was like, sure. - They've been doing that a while. - Sometimes you're not busy. - I'm so sure. - I mean, if you're on the super yacht playing with your micro, what the fuck else are you gonna do? - I don't think he's got a micro, bro. - It says not an insult. - I think, I think so as a micro. - To become a billionaire, you must have a micro. - Or a famous cousin. - Was Gaben officially a billionaire? - Yeah. - He's gotta be. - I guess probably if you have that yacht. - Just off, literally just off Counter-Strike. - No. - Bro. - Wow. - Nine billion, bitch. - Oh, damn. Dude, I looked up the net worth of people. It's a high or it's way higher than it used to be. - Then it used to be. - Yeah, I feel like we used to look up Drake net worth and it'd be like seven million. We were like, what? - So many. - Drizzy's kinda crazy. - I feel like there's more billionaires and the billions they have is more. 'Cause you used to be like a hundred billion. It was like, whoa. - This is a often reported phenomenon. - Yeah. - This is pretty, we got the L.S. guy right here. - I thought the Hassani Theritch shirt got rid of them all. - Yeah, I mean, I thought you were eradicated. - Oh, there was a bit, if you look at the graph I'll show you the time that might have made it more. - To make the rich pay, getting becoming a billionaire off to make the rich pay shirt. - Ooh. - What do you do? - Irony, what can you do? - What can you do? - What can you do? - How do you live that life? - Fucking peed in my bed. - What? - Can you speak up? I didn't hear that. - What? - You did my bedline. - You're 30. - You peed in your bed. - I peed all over my bedline. - Was it a lot of peed in here? - Yeah, it went to sleep. - No, kid, he wasn't there because I was here. She's still in Utah, and I wanted to see if you put your hand in a bowl of water, if you'd actually peed, I peed everywhere. - You prank yourself? - I didn't know it was a prank. I thought it was a rule, a rule myth that rule wives talked about. - And all the lives pranked. - I thought it was a working class rule wife's myth. - So you just did a new bed, is what you said? - You need a new mattress. - I peed all, well, no, I'm just seeping in the pee. - Well, really? - Why? - You get back into bed and it's just wet? - What else am I supposed to do? - You should get a new mattress. - It's a different solution. - Oh, just get it on the mattress. I'll go to the store and I'll put it in my caterer 'cause that'll fit. - You don't need to do it. - I don't want to get a freaking mattress. - You can get a mattress. - I've been peeing more to fill it up over. - You could order it online for a helix sleep mattress. I did the same thing. I just came in a box like any of those. - Yeah, of course I peed the bed. Well, I have a competitive bed wetter. I do it as sport. You do it, I send very different things. - He does it. - So I peed on my bed once a week to see you. - I wouldn't know what I like. - I wouldn't know what you like. - They wouldn't know what I like. - It's a list. - It's not Grock. - It's not Grock. - It's not Grock. - It's not Grock. - It's not Grock. - It's normal. - It's like websites before Grock. - It could. - In the battery foam. - So it's also going to remember what you do. - 129 trial, too. You can send it back if you don't like it. You can't pin it and send it back. - Are you sure? - Yeah. - I guess I gotta be sure about that one. We're not really 100% sure. - Okay. - So maybe if you pin it, you can't send it back. - Let's just say that. - We need to shut up and go to hewislip.com/theart for 20% off site wide. - Hewislip.com/theart for 20% off. - And can Grock sleep in it, too? - He doesn't need a bed 'cause he's an AI. - Thanks to Hewislip for sponsoring this week's episode. Hewislip.com/theart for 20% off. Let's get back to the episode, which features, well, let's hope no pee at all. - Yeah, I think Elon's at 700 billion. - Hey, good for him, man. - Yeah, man. - But it's like, I don't want to look at that stuff. - It's fake, man. Please. - Yeah, it's like valuation and shit. - And if one of my Patriots overbed, I'm about at his 700 billion, too. - You should. - Or this whole company's going-- - You need to stop. - This whole company is going undyzed. - I want to hit Elon with like a fucking cannonball. - Okay. - He'd move like one of those mythbusters ballistic jail dummies. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - What are these cool things? - What are they used to call them? - Oh, yeah, it's a ball knowledge check. - On mythbusters? - Yeah. - Oh, they had a name. - No. - Buster. - The crash test dummies. - What is it? - Buster. - Is it? - I'm gonna be right. - A buster. - Okay. - Sure. - But I hardly know her. - You rock. - The main crash test dummy. Oh, I guess it's the same thing. When I think crash test dummy, I think hazard sign on the side of the head and made of some sort of plastic. You know what I mean? Not like we shoot bullets at you to see what it would be like. - Yeah, I mean, it's a crash test dummy. - Yeah, I like the ones in the car. - The ones in the car. - And they got little markers on their head like you said. That'd be kind of a cool tattoo. - You should put your K truck into a crash test. Like a separate one just to see what would happen to you if you got an accident in that thing. So you can know like how close you are to death every day. - I mean, look it up. K truck crash test. - We know it would be bad. - Low speed vehicle. Wait, it actually kind of looks close enough. - Oh, it's the Ford Ranger and a mini truck. - The insurance institute for highway safety. - This is perfect. - That's a K truck. - What happens to you is exactly what happens in this video. - Okay, okay. A deal. - Would I survive this? - Oh, no. - Oh. - He's fine. - I don't know bro. - Dude. - You're okay. - Oh no. - Your legs are broken. - Oh. - Both your legs are broken. - Oh, he's fine. - I mean, we're acting like he actually drives it. - I think your paralyzed. - I drive it. - No, it's not Ludwig. - That is our great hope. - Hopefully he's not. - No matter what vehicle Ludwig buys, he doesn't really drive it. Look, the whole head came out of the car bro. - Well, that's a smart car. And that's low speed, sorry. - That's a low speed crash. - Traditionally, if you get T-bone at like 40 miles an hour on the driver's side, it's not. - You know the beautiful thing. My driver's side is on the other side. - It is true. - He's dodging most of them. Think about that. - Oops, sorry. - Think about that. His passenger dies a step. - Sorry, Maribuz. - Yeah. - The cybertruck doesn't have a crumple zone. - The cybertruck does not crumple. It just locks itself, and then you bake inside of it like it torts. - I feel like the cybertruck. - That's what's happening to people. Generally, they'll get in crashes. The automatic locks like malfunction, and they can't get out, and they just bake to death. - You don't want them to never make it that way. - You don't want them to make it that way. The cybertruck to when a dog enters lock it. Put the windows up, and like bulletproof glass, no amount of fucking force breaks the lock. - Just giant stakes in the back with window open. - Yeah. - And then bait dogs in. - I saw a dog at the bagel place today, and I was like, "Aiden can't come here anymore." He'll walk this whole fucking place down. - I wouldn't, I wouldn't. - With a drum magazine. - I would walk the dog down. - I would 90 rounds. - I would preserve the human life. - And I would look at the owner, and I would say never make that a goal. - You're fucking cold ass little fucking kid is gonna want a dog one day, and you're gonna do it, 'cause you know what, you're a sucker, and you're gonna buy the dog, and you're gonna fall in love with it, and guess what, you're gonna have to fucking put it down one day, bro. And you're gonna be so sad. - And I'll be there. - And I'm gonna be annoyed. - I won't be sad. I'll have a life of preparation. - I'll be annoyed 'cause I'll be like, "Oh, you care 'cause it's your dog." - Like grow up. - He said such dog. - Such an Aiden thing. - He's gonna bring his dog in a coffee shop, to take pictures and send it to us. - Oh my God, look at Papa Chino. - It's a dog, man. - It's a dog, man. - I am going to fly to Sweden and watch you weave at your dog's grave. - And I'm gonna be there three weeks earlier, shooting your dog in the skull. - Meen, meen, meen, meen, meen, meen, meen, meen, meen, meen, meen. - Did you know you made it a spelling mistake when you said S2 Brutus today? - And it's AI, which we don't take into account. - So S2 counts. Catlet and Control F, ES2. - Is this like, the Catlet and the Wine Mixer song that was like two languages for it? - There's two ways to do it, you know what I mean? - Two ways. Two ways to win. - There's two ways to win on this one. And that's people don't get about Latin languages. - Interesting. - Brutus. We gotta bring names like that back then. - Is Kelby the one being loud over there? - It sounds like Liza right now. - I'm not gonna have to go talk to them. It's popping off in the office, man. - Do you think maybe I should talk to them? - I don't think so, no, I think it's fine. I think in the construction episode, you getting your anger out on people talking slightly above average seems to be more. - Do you think we should talk to them? - It seems more like you just want to yell at someone. - You just want to yell? - Yeah, all the construction workers, loud as fight the whole time that women start talking. And he's like, "Should I go yell at someone?" - I didn't get a shot in there. - It's like piercing my ears. - I mean, for one, I'm glad you included Kelby as a woman. - Of course. - To, yes, that is how the rules are. - Do you know who was at the game yesterday? - Who? - Mr. Beast. - Mr. Beast. - Think bigger. - Gam. - Bigger than Mr. Beast? I can't. - Mr. Beast, Mr. Beast three years ago. - Kamakrishan Warriors. - Chris did. - Chris did. - Chris did, was there. - Donald Trump. - Donald Trump. - Myself. - Trump. - And Hungry Box. - Oh my God. - And here's a deal about Juan de Bedma. I don't know what fucking money or cloud that boy has, but he was in the sweet next to Trump. - Oh, he's like, I'm at the lowly mid-level seats that I'm provided by one of the big sponsors of this event. Well, he's an owner of Team Liquid and they have spots. - They have all sorts of connections, like fucking Marvel, bro, Disney, that's Disney, bro. We obviously got the hook up. - It is crazy how you're not, you're not even the most famous puff player in the venue. - Oh, well. - You lose the tournament in that venue. - I don't, I get it. - You might not even get seconded. - I probably don't get seconded. - Wow. - There's a whole. - And there's like 70,000 people there. I'm sure a whole. - Why don't Donald Trump and a college football game? - What's the cultural significance of this college football game? - I don't understand. - It's like the biggest college football game of the year and college sports are pretty big, but also Indiana. - Is it like the Super Bowl? - It's like the Super Bowl for college sports. - It's like in college, they have sports, right? And they're still a champion. - But so this is their Super Bowl? - I don't know. - This is their Super Bowl. - And Indiana. - Looks like Rap M is playing Magi. - Yeah, call collegiate at the top level of like, the ceilings. - Yeah, it's like Rap M versus Magi. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Cool. - If they were in college. - If they were in college, here's the deal. Indiana just is, they were always ass. And like never one ever in the history, like the 100 year history. And then this year they're undefeated in one. - Right. - So everyone's hype on them. - Is it a strategy? - Sports are a little bit of squirrel. - It's just money. - A little bit of genetics. - It's money in a bit of lottery. In the sense of like, you know, you're paying a coach and maybe the coach is shit and you paid them. - Well, they pay the players now too, right? - Yeah. - Or you drafted a player and the player kind of, so it's, but if you have, I mean, here's the deal. Do you know why Indiana won? From being shit is because Mark Cuban injected a bunch of fucking money into it. - Money talks are the cashiest kings. - Are you paying caps on college sports? Like, I don't think so. No, 'cause the highest paid coaches in football are college coaches. They get paid like 10 plus million a year. - You never answered this question. Why are you using it into so much sports now? - Wait, I thought we answered it. - In a playoff football. I'm not in a college football. That was just-- - You're not. - No, that was just a sponsor. - You did that to be a little slumber then. - In your normie, Megazord body, which part, which part does Christian sit in and which part does England sit in? - What is that fucking sentence? - Because in the Megazord, you understand what the Megazord is. - You, in the Megazord. - Yeah. - You don't know what it is. Just say you don't know. - Yeah, I know the Megazord. - Go ahead. - In my normie, Megazord body, I guess-- - You have to be-- - You're operating by turning it in. - I don't know. - You have to think about it for years now. - Yeah, I got it. I just don't know. - And which parts would we get? - Okay. First off, not everyone would be in my Megazord body. - There's five of us that's enough for a Megazord body. - Yeah, yeah. I'm not confused about the number of people. You just wouldn't be in a fight. - You seem confused. - You seem confused. Because if we're, I mean, presumably in your wedding pyramids, so it'd be weird to not be in your Megazord body. - I get a different, here's the thing is, the body, I want the best and the brightest. So I'm gonna give you my Megazord five, and I don't want anyone to be offended. - I'm like, I'm blue like Nick's in it. - Yes! - Where, like what? - Nick is gonna be my left leg, up to, - What the fuck? - And including my penis. - Yes! - You're the blue ranger. - Welcome to average, brother. - Okay. Kelbee's in it, right hand. - What? - Kelbee? - He's Kimberly. - Kelbee is in your normie Megazord body. - Kelbee's my right hand. I guess me not being in the normie Megazord body makes sense. - If you don't pick me now, I will shoot myself in front of the office. - I'll go to my left hand. - Wait, it's a win-win. - Okay, he's my left hand. - He's a mastodon. - Okay, my left leg is yingo. Under the left leg crushed, dying, Aiden. - Yep. - I like that. - I really didn't get the bag as long as I'm in it. - Yingo controls it. - I don't have any say in it, bro. - It's not me, dude. It's, and then what's the fifth part of the head? - It's just you, you have to be in it. - Okay, it's me. - It's you, yeah. - Easy. There's my Megazord body. - This all makes sense. I'm glad I'm not in the normie Megazord. - No, no, no, no. You are what I'm fighting. - I'm Tommy. - Yes. - I have my own sword. - And we are fighting and things aren't going well for you. - I'm the dinosaur one. What are you talking about? - I know, but Kelbee's going crazy. - What are you talking about? - Kelbee's going crazy. - He's like, he's doing well. - Yes. - In the fighting? - I don't know about that gang. - What do you mean? I feel like if Kelbee could get in the Ava, he would be doing crazy shit. - Backed into a corner, Kelbee shits himself and begs. - Oh God, and you got to fight the fucking. - I'm so hurt, man. - I'm so hurt. - Why do you hurt? - What? - Dude, what? - Let me tell you what happened when we were in the office the late night. - Yeah. - Someone said something about how Aidan's the boss, and then Kelbee stood up and corrected. I think it was Liza and said Aidan's not the boss. Ludwig's the boss. And then he said, Ludwig's the boss of all of us. I'm playing Street Fighter, I said, not me. And then he said, okay, yeah, actually, you're right. Not you, but the rest of us. And that's how they think of you. - Bro. - And I think you should take action. I think you should punish them. - I think you should punish them. Let her know who the fucking bot mister. Who's the boss? - Mister, who's the boss? - What a really weird hire. - Mister, who's the boss to come in? - To set our company straight. - I love on this glorious tech. (laughing) - That guy sucks, so bad. - He sees the big keyboard. - Oh. - Oh. - Wow. - Wow, that tech. - It's just like a regular one. - Except for this. - That guy loves glorious tech. - What is this? - And it's set her up. - He loves tech. - I actually don't hate him, I just think he's ridiculous. - He's the goat, man. - I have a question. Why the fuck is his name Mister, who's the boss? - 'Cause he probably made it weird. - The same reason why Jimmy's Mr. Beast, bro, they get something, they get something that we fucking, are they operating on a plane that we don't, we can't even think on. - Ooh, there's a cabal of mixtures. - Yep. - Ah. - And I wonder what they're up to. - The stone cutter, mixtures. I'm going to Mr. Island. - In high school, my friend at school was gay, my tag was Mr. Mister. 20, I think, 20 was the number. And we all asked him why. He said, "It's from that one." I think it's a Justin Timber like song. And then we made fun of him for three years. - He shouldn't come clean. - He's thinking back now. - That's very cool. - Great. - It's fine. - If he was just secret about it, it would be fine. - It was great. - And Mr. Mister is like an 80s pop group. - Oh no, no, it's from, it's from Soul City. - Yeah, yeah, Mr. Mister. This is, this is-- - Hey, Soul City. - Yeah. - Hey, that Mr. Mister. - Oh, yeah, that's worth making fun of him. - They did say that. Wait, he said it was from the train song, not the Justin Timber like song. - Yeah. - This is what you're telling me about. - That's what he said. - That's less cool. - Yes. - That's, yeah. - Make the sound of it, because written, MR. - Mr. Mister is a character. - Don't, mister. - Where? - What? - Anyway, broken away, broken away is a great song that they made. - Did music use to suck? - No, music was good. - I think music used to suck balls. - When, when? - Old music? - I think it was bad in the, was music bad in the '60s? - No, what stock? - Jimmy Hendrix and shit. - I think music's always been pretty good. I think it was actually bad pre-classic layer. A pre-bock, I think it was pretty acid. We don't understand that stuff anymore. First got to make a song, bro, wow. That is like an, like an expand level thinker. - Music got really interesting, I think, in the 100 years ago, and like black people got involved. We kind of like-- - And black people never did music before that. It was, there was a no history of black people doing music. - Well, Elvis hadn't invented it yet. - I think that African was musically. - Until they were forcibly brought to America. - They call it the first discovered and explored music. - Until Spotify wrapped came out. - That's right. - And that we all, we all have a music. - That was 100 years ago. - That's it. And that's the history of music, and what you think about it? - I wonder what the first good song is. - The first good song is-- - I'm an infinite. (laughing) - Is the first good song? - Yeah. - You know what song, your music sucks is like the 19 like 20s. Like, "I don't know if it's fine, I don't know." - Yes. - Like it sucks, bro. - Fuck you. - It's a ragtime dog shit. - Fucking kid. - That is bad music. - What happened? - Why don't we veer off so far? - Big band. Big band can hit. - I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. - He's actually my sister. - I mean, did you know that it's played like out of a xylophone. (laughing) And there's like a kid getting a fucking cigarette, put out on his, by his fucking down his leg. And that shit got us to that in the back. - Yeah, yeah. - This is fine, dad, but turn the music off. - Oh, but she's like, "Did Lucy clear the loon?" - Sure, that's fine. - Same era. - Same era. - That's the same era. - That's not even fun though. That's where the loon came out. - Claire and Debussy was like 18. - Debussy. - I think active 18. - Debussy. - Like late 1800s or early 1900s. I think Claire and loon's like 19, I don't know, 12, 15. - I'm talking about grandma phone, 18, 16, 11. - Wow, Claire and loon's the 1900s? I didn't know that. - Yeah, yeah, Debussy's like a relatively newer composer. - It was like a big YouTuber, dude Debussy just did a fucking robox video. - Debussy did a rollercoaster video in 1890. - 1905. - Oh, it wasn't published. Bro, he sat on it? - He sat on it. - He sat on it. - Yeah, until it was long. - Wow, 20th century music. - Anyway, there were bangers. - There were bangers every now and then, but like, culturally, that fucking. - I don't know, that's not a good thing. - You're like shit sucks. - I wonder how it sounds, 'cause you know, we've only heard it through the way it was processed and recorded and then with probably through the big horn. - The gramophone. - But what would it have sound like in the room? Maybe it's dope in the room. - Yeah, maybe they're just like, hello, my about you know, they're talking real clearly. - No, 'cause it's really. - Is if you were to distort like, train soul sister, it would still sound. Like, train soul sister. You'd say, yeah, it would just be in a bio-shock. - Hang on a minute, man, so. - I think, also, it's like, it's essentially that Gabe in interview. Like, is it that much better that we can hear him clearly? Like, I don't know. - I think it is. - I mean, it's like, but it is it. - You get it. - We get it. Like, we get what he's saying. - But like, you can't turn, look, clear distinction. You can't turn that interview into shorts, bro. - No, you can. - And that speaks to the quality of the moments. - You can chop out moments and make that shorts if it had better audio. - That's the value of things in this world is can you turn it into a short? - Can you turn it into a short? - Yeah, can it become a cookie? - Well, he's layered a loon. It has been a short. - Clared a loon could not have been a short. - No, no, so it's bad, it's inherently bad. - We're not gonna have to rock mononovs, conchairs to number two can. - It's so depends. - Wow. - You need an OPD. - Well, here's more like an auto. 'Cause only the beginning of that one, it's not as big, right? - It's like the last three, four minutes. - This is not really good. - It's really 1800. - He's an A1800 tone. - He was sad, bro. - Yeah, he was. - He snapped with that. - I wanna say, let me give it, let me give it 1842. - Guess what, too. It's always a bitch. - Way too late. - Do you know how much fucking homework I've done to that song? - Really? - Yeah. - Yeah, it's a part, let's just press play, basically. I have a playlist for it, with very good music. - It's three parts. - Oh, it's three movements. Dude. - This one girl I knew uploaded a video of her on Facebook way back of her playing Moonlight Sonata. And it was, it's very simple to play the beginning. - Yeah. - And then she died in a car wreck. (laughing) - It's such a slime story, right? It's like, if I had the right phrase. - The right-of-slime story. Only followed by like, God, she was fucking beautiful. - Yeah, her older brother was tall, and she had to share. - She was so pretty. - Yeah. - She was too pretty to play the piano. - And she fucking died. - And she was way too pretty to die. - Too pretty to beat a car accident for sure. - No, she was drunk driving. - Yep. - And a K-Truck. - And that's ugly. - And a K-Truck, and she got T-Bone on the wrong side. - Yeah, it's pretty. - She's been dead. - She won team, she got T-Bone on the right side in her K-Truck. - She's dead lost, and you know her. - For like 10 years. Isn't that crazy? - That's crazy, so many years to be sad. - Yeah. - She's missed so much. - She's missed, she missed all of Mr. Beast. - All of COVID. - She missed AI. - Yep. - What the fuck? - I mean, a lot of shit. - Life got so much litter. - She won a key, didn't she? - Like a litter of Mario smoking weed on X. - Oh my God, bro, she would have, she would have read, posted that picture of Timmy Turner. - Rest in peace. - She missed two halles. Yeah, I can think of so much shit she missed. That's success. - Did a lot. - She was a transition to Urban Madre. - She missed so much about that. - She missed coconut bras falling off. - Oh, she's still wearing one. - She missed the mail. - She missed the mail reclamation. - Yeah, she did. - That was coconut bras. - She's like, wow, man, it was deep red, Colorado, so I don't know if she would have grown to be a tolerant person. - Oh wow, should we revive her? She, oh, I can't wait to go see white dog poop. Where's my coconut, bro? - Where's my coconut from? - Also, what's being trans? (laughing) - Oh, she would not be tolerant. - That's what I'm saying, right, like, you know, what, those who were lost earlier on. - Should be pumps that that Broncos are fucking still chugging along. - Maybe. Maybe if she was-- - Should be sad that Bo Neck's got it in turn. - Yeah, she probably would have been posting about the Broncos on stage. - Wait, but she'd be dude. She'd be turned up as fuck with the whole 2016 meme. - Oh my God, she would have been posting-- - Oh my God, she literally left in 2016. - Her 2016 pictures would be really horrific. - She's post-selfie, like, (blows raspberry) - That'd be bad to look at. - I'm like to iPhone four. That would be, she'd be viral. - She'd go viral. And then she'd have to become someone's gun in. (laughing) - God, she'd wake up to, there's a floor here. - It's so awesome. - I was selling cutie by the 2016 trend and I was trying to find a picture on her phone. She has an awesome picture of her with cake boss. - Really? - Yeah. - Cake, who's cake boss? - The cake boss? - The cake boss. - The cake boss. - Why does she have a picture with cake boss? - 'Cause she met him in 2016. - What? - You don't know cake boss? - Why? - Why is it a show? - Yeah. - Why did she meet him? - 'Cause she makes cakes, Aiden, 'cause she's in the industry. - A lot of people make cakes. - Yeah, but not like she does. - Hmm. - Okay, it's like real, recognized real. - Damn! - Do you think he could make Mario go to see cake? - It's, huh? Yeah, easily. - He is the cake boss. - But I don't think she could do it as well. - Do you think he should have to prove it? - He would not do it as well. - Is that a pride cake? - Do you think she based? Go up one? - Yeah, and the whole episode is about how he beats the fuck out of the person with the pride cake with that roller he's holding. - She makes them eat it. - It makes them explode. - And that's when the show got canceled. - Dude, that's a burger. - You can't get rid of him. He's the cake boss. - He kind of looks like. - He looks like a ballastro. - Doesn't he look like Papa John? - Kind of. - We're cake boss guys. - He's got this new jersey like skull shape going on. - Damn! - That's what I was trying to think of Aiden. - That was just, I won't say it because now I'm realizing there's some, yeah. But wow, uncanny. - Dude, I think dead ass and I'm being. - Shackones of Papa John's? - Shackones so much, bro. - Shackones of Krispy Kreme. - Shackones everything, bro. - Shackaroni? Dude, Earl just got on this tip. Earl has a prime pizza now. - Earl Swatcher? - Who's Earl Swatcher, the rapper? - He's got a, I'm just like this. - Doesn't seem like a Earl move. - I think correct me if I'm wrong. And if you don't know, don't say anything. - I think Lacey is related to Papa John. - Nope, untrue. - No, it's definite. - I don't know, I won't say anything. - I couldn't be certain. - You're shutting it down, but eyeball test related. - He's part of the Buddy Valestro side of the Italian New Jerseyans. - Who's Buddy Valestro? - The Cake Boss. - So he's related to the Cake Boss. - So he's at war with Papa John. It's sweet versus savory, right? - Yeah, Lacey is bro, who is that? - And what side does Lacey pick? - He's a stone-cold dumbass. - Wait, is the army? Are the armies, okay, maybe a dumb question, but please there's no dumb questions, okay? Are the armies, is it like an anthropomorphic pizza fighting an anthropomorphic cake? Or is it the people who like savory things, fighting the people who like sweets? - It's foot soldiers, man. - Okay, so. - This is urban war, who fucking wins? - That's a great, 'cause the savouries, that includes what, like people who eat fucking steak, that's all the yoked guys? - In the New Jersey sweet versus savory war, I would say sweet has a disadvantage, right? They're getting tired faster. - Savory wins. - So, savory does however they think the fucking pizza eaters are real fit and athletic? - No, I think they're more likely to own guns. - But if they all hype up, right? If like, oh, I'm gonna eat a full fucking steak for this war. - Oh, fucking tired. - But the sweet skies, so rush, they're cranked. - And they're probably into meth. - They're gonna crash it. They'll fight last longer than an hour, than I think the savory guys. - I think the sweet guys are more willing to cut somebody's fucking head off. - I don't know. I think eating sweets is inherently to the New Jersey, you know, human being as inherently feminine thing. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The New Jersey citizen, I think he's a body doctor. - He's a famous war manly than getting a fucking slice. - Why get a slice and I eat it? - You don't think Tony's friend has a sweet tooth? - He has a sweet tooth. - No. - But imagine when he goes eating an ice cream, he goes to a fridge. - He goes to the fridge. And what does he grab? He doesn't grab little sweets or treats. He grabs fucking salami. - Oh, go on. - He stops it for a while and then the way he goes on with a fucking chocolate dip. - And then he fucks, fucks a beautiful Italian woman. - Anyone but his wife. - That's strip. - My grandma. - And he-- - Do he fight for the sweets? - Oh, dude. - He's taking his sweet tooth on my whole bro. - Oh, here's the thing. - The only he's fucking savory if Karim makes him fucking savory. - No, dude, he doesn't. - He takes a lasagna out of the fucking freezer, dude. It's the only time he's eating savory. - Dude, he stacks savory food in that fucking shop. - That sounds like he's eating a lot of canollies. - Name me a fucking scene where he eats a canola, bro. You can't-- - I can't! - He's done it like twice now. - You can't. - Shut up. - The whole thing is-- - The whole thing is where Karim was talking to him. - He thinks the cousin thing was a good idea. - He brings home canollies to her. Like two episodes back to back. - Yeah, he brings home a woman and offering a femininity. - But it's a bring ho, he brings home for her. - It's male because he wants to have sex with her. - I think canollies are inherently masculine because it's like somebody busts it inside of a penis. - Well, hold on. - No, the bus is inside the penis already. - Yes. - It is like a cream pie treat. - Yes. - And that's inherently manly to eat that. - Yeah. - I can't, it's like, okay. - It's a masculine food. - I think-- - Can the canollies? - Yeah, the canollies. - It's full of your masculinity. - It's a phallic shape of cream. - There's more than anything more masculine than some jars. - Yeah, I'd like to share my masculinity with you. - Yeah. - I mean, lasagna's our feminine. - Yes! - Check it out my layers. - What are you saying about women right now? - That is not women. I don't think a master would set well. - Like Ogers? - Winner complex with layers. - Now let me ask you a question. - And man, you wear layers of clothing, okay? You're layering, you got the knit, and then you got the heavy with the scarf. Is this feminine or masculine? - Feminine. - Okay, so lasagna follows suit. - Lasagna is feminine, right? - Lasagna is a very effeminate dish. - Lasagna contains the meat of a slain animal. - And the fucking scarf of a woman. - And layered between each layer of meat, bro. - A canoli takes the fucking milk. - You're not gonna convince me that a canoli is more masculine than what goes on here. - You need a Smosh food battle over this. - Imagine eating a canoli in the cream bursting in your mouth. - Yeah. - It's pretty massive. - Wait, a phallic shaped thing that you put. - Right, Smosh did this. - That's true. - Bro, Smosh food food, is it food battle? 2009 maybe, and it's donut versus pizza? Is that what it was? - It's like a former memory for him. - Oh my God. - No, we were, we all remember that. - We just got your soul laid. - Without this he is what have been a different guy. - Yeah. - It was like a crucial, I swear they beat us. It is beat us to this man. I mean, do they argue on the masculinity of each? - Maybe that's because that's what we're trying to get at here. He has a-- - What is the case? - Putting a donut into an Nintendo 64. - Oh my God, 2009. - It's donut versus burrito? - Yeah, this is different. - This is so sweet. - I don't know what to tell you. This is different. - This is fucking savory, very sweet, bro. And the two type of chuds, who are you for each side? - To be honest. - They're blowing on it and putting it in Nintendo. - Then blowing it and then putting it in the 64. - This is the question is which one's a better video game? - God, you don't understand fucking it. - Right. - Yeah, you actually thought that I'm a fucking idiot. - Dude, the donuts are bleeding. - Okay, just to be clear, food battle was a yearly video and I got the year right. - That's pretty good. - That was pretty good. - I would do a shit like that all the time. You guys make fun of me. - Yeah, because yours is cool for the year. - Yeah, 'cause yours is okay. - This is what the third member of Guns and Roses name was. - Who? - Fucking cares. - I hate Guns and Roses, you're not fuck with me on that. I've been fucking so-- - Was it you? - We thought, well, in terms of each out of mind, we're like, this is the worst song ever made. - I think so. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think-- - If we were talking about it, just how shitty, let's do that. - We're talking about it as the worst song ever made. - In Italy, in the Airbnb, 'cause I put, I took my entire library of iPhone music, which is like from my entire life, and then I put it on shuffle and then got in the shower, and then I've walked out and then everybody was in the kitchen looking down the hall, and was like, were you point sweet? - I was walking around, I'm like, give a lot with this fucking guy. - It was fucking weird. - Back to the music thing, that's the worst fucking error of music. - Whatever. - Whatever, the fuck guns and the Roses don't. - No, no. - There's some great rounds. - Round and round by rat, that music video kicks ass, and I'm including the video. - Dude, and this is what I'm talking about. - What the fuck? - 'Cause he pulled over, and this is how we battle 2009. - But it's like, can you pull it up, and can we have a good time? - But I'm not asking you guys to suck my dick about it. - But we just can't, how do I jump in? This is what I'm saying. - I don't wanna say it, make you guys watch a music video, not helping you battle again. - He has value in the Normie Megazord. - With that information, like that. - I would never enter it. - I have my giant sword, but you're lauded. - Smoshes now, Normie smoshes now. - Smoshes now, Normie stuff. - I actually don't know this. - This guy almost fucked up teeth, but he's still got to be a rock star. It's so sick. This is, so they're having like this awesome dinner. - This was the hottest girl we could find in this year as well. - Yeah, but they're in the attic, bro. And the attic, and she can hear them rocking. (laughing) - Dude, this is such a dope-ass song. - The outfits are awesome. - It kind of knows how ridiculous it's being while I would argue guns and roses kind of took themselves too seriously. See, they put a big thing over a rat, and they're gonna serve the rat to the rich people. - Eat the fucking rat, you know what I'm saying? This is dope as fuck. And then, yeah, go. - Oh, and she's gonna go, is she gonna get really, like, - Yeah, she's gonna climb there soon in this music video? Is she gonna like, just like. - Yeah, and now she's fucking rocking out on the table. - And now she's like a, she's got like. - Yeah, here it is. - She's totally like. - I can't call it. - You call that shit. - No, she's kidding. - She goes upstairs to dress the way she actually wants to dress the whole, well, actually, it's kind of against her will. - She's transforming. - Oh my God. - This guy's dead missing his front teeth, and he got to be a rock star. - And you don't see his eyes, like one of the Kanker sisters. (laughing) - Oh my God, this looks like an AI video. - He's like the Beast Games. They're trapped in the net. - This is a great game. - Dude, okay, you guys gotta watch. - It's a good song too. Let me explain. - I didn't tell you what. - Jeff probes getting bogged the whole time by Mr. Beast. - I've said four and not how it happened. - Dude's getting bogged crazy. - What? - He's getting bogged crazy. - Jeff is like, Jeff is like, and in survivor, we'd make you do this part, but we don't have to. - And then Mr. Beast is like, yeah, we're gonna do it the Beast Games way. And then they don't do the Jeff probes. And then they do it. So fucking, to the key is, - He's bogged. - Your interpretation of media. - It's for every child. - Early on logging unlike any other mod. - I genuinely have zero respect for your interpretation of media because of the sentence. - Watch it. Go watch it, you'll see, bro. - He watched it, but he's saying. - Yeah, but I'm also saying, and I'm also watching it. - You have to watch it. - Is that what you're saying? - Zipper, you look up Jeff probes. Mr. Beast, stop yelling. - Doesn't it? - Yeah, I saw this clip. Mr. Beast gets me. - Oh my God. - He's higher up than you. - He's higher up than you, so I feel like he would. - You're gonna cherry pick where he's like, you don't have to yell to get your point heard. Mr. Beast, you can see the look in Beast's eyes. - Where he almost turned into Beast. - And at least when you saw, he spared his fucking life. - Do you play it, play it? - Do you yell or do you normally just like, snow? - No, you know what I've noticed is when you're actually in control, you don't need to yell. - And you know what? - Oh. - When you're actually in control. - He's literally taking out his fucking built up anger 'cause one, he's on Beast's phone, no nut for 13 years, if you don't realize that. And two, fucking Beast has been mocking him for two hours. - You are-- - He's been getting like, that was too bad. - Jimmy asked some genuine question, literally, in good faith. - No, no. - And he goes, well, I think it's when you're in control. - Seconds before that Jimmy goes, "All right, come on out!" - Yeah, commanding the room. - And then, as the Beast does. The Beast commands the room. - A Beast commands his subjects. - He has to get out. - The lion does not speak quietly. Do you understand? - The lion, would you watch that episode and you realize just the fucking skill that Jeff Probe says has as a host? And Mr. Beast, he's literally like goofy when you're playing King of Hearts. Just standing around. - Just walking around with-- - He's yelling a phrase after, because Jeff's fucking doing his thing. He's like, and your guys are fighting for your lives and you're yet to consider that. And he was like, "Oh my God!" That's the whole thing. - That's the whole episode. - Bro, the part where they had to hold on to fucking totem poles. And Jimmy's like, "Hey, for money, you can come down." And the kids like, "Yeah." And he drops, "Jeff is just disgusted, bro." It's like, "Money, you come down." It's fucking survivor. Stay on the poles, as long as you fucking can. And then he walks the cheeseburger out. Are you fucking kidding? And he's like, "Who wants a cheeseburger?" They're like, "No, dude, I want $5 million." 'Cause that's what Mr. Beast is offering. And you're offering me a cheeseburger. It was an ik, bro. - Dude. - Jeff tried to get them to climb down from the poles worth fucking $1.8 million for a cheeseburger. 'Cause he thinks they're starving. - Demora here. - Like survival. - Paulus. - Like that's where it's like. - I mean, you're, this is 30, is realizing that you like Jeff Probe's more than you like the. - Is this the generational gap? - This is it. - I mean, it's not even generational gap. It's just, there's a genuine skill gap. - Is it medialy? - Let me ask you a question. - There's your master's guess. - Mr. Beast says, "Fucking keep your hand on the car, "wind the car," and it's a fucking McLaren. And then Jeff Probe comes out and says, "Or you could have a hot dog that I made it." And you wouldn't want it. And they're all confused why it's like, the value difference between those two things. And they're like, "Oh, no, but you're famous." And then eventually they go back to just staying on the fucking car. - Who got logged in that scenario? - I don't, I don't understand his obsession with this interaction. If you just watched the episode, you will see that basically Jeff Probe becomes the host of Beast games. - I think Mr. Beast made him put a fucking vibrating egg in there, it's in there the whole episode. And only the Beast can call it. (laughs) - You think so? - Yes, dude. - I'm actually, I'm actually sure. - I hope your famous cousin's Jeff Probe and he puts one between the eyes. - I hope my famous cousin's Jeff Probe's too, bro, that'd be high value. I hope you get fucking, I hope you get fucking, uh-- - Phineas eyelash. - Yeah, I hope you get fucking Billy, fucking brother, bro. - I hope you guys did, 'cause I'm the famous cousin now, it's how famous cousin, yeah. - Where the hell are you? - I mean, I have to become, we have to learn to work together. - That's a sitcom. - Are you not famous enough to have your own cousin? - No, I don't think so. I don't think so. - I think you're the floor. - I'm the floor? - What? No, that can't be the floor. - No, he's more famous, ooh, Clayacan. - Are you more famous than Clayacan? - He's more fit. - Why do we use more famous than Clayacan? - No, I'm not famous than Clayacan. - No more people know Clayacan, but less people are-- - Those endiogram is zero, for sure, is no overlap. - I think if we stood-- - Third time in a lot. - If we stood you side by side in public, more people would recognize you. - Who knows about "Gamer the Year" and Clayacan? - More people know Clayacan's name. - People probably call him Grindr. - Yeah, yeah, gay old Queen. - Okay, well, hey, leave a comment down below. Who do you think got mocked, Mr. Beast or Jeff Pro? - You guys got a lot of homework. Number one, have you ever been in love with your cousin? Number two, who got mocked harder? Jeff Props or Mr. Beast? - Well, before that, number one, who would you pick to be if you could pick? You don't get to normally, but who would you pick to be your rich, your rich, famous cousin? Have you ever been in love with your cousin? Who got mocked? And then who would win the "Savory vs. Sweet" battle? - Well, we in New Jersey. - We want the chair to be around forever. - And that's number five. You guys got a lot of homework. Get to it now, and because Aiden will be reminding us to pick it up at the end of the day, even if the teacher forgot. - We also recorded the premium episode first, this week, so it's got a lot of juice. It's pretty funny. You can listen to that in the Patreon. We talked about Tiberius 209, which is a little bit inside joke, love it, doesn't get-- (laughing) - Don't laugh. - Don't even-- - You didn't get it. - Bring up your way. - You weren't there. - I don't see how you were going. - I'll give you a ring up to my name. - I didn't understand that. - It's not Tiberius. - We'll see you in the Patreon. - It's not Tiberius. - Or never again. Goodbye now.