Ep. 232 - New Year, New Us

you want to be with me that's a great song that song is good there's a lot of good ass songs you know that was that video that that kid who doubled himself dancing to 50 cent i listened to that album over the weekend while playing uh he who doubled himself he like doubled himself dancing not the kid who had like progeria or whatever no what does he have you know the kid a little you know the really short man who made youtube videos back in the day all these celebrities no not simfuckus that guy actually had progeria uh no what's his name god damn it one of my best twitter names was simfuckus memorial highway yeah zipper i need you to look up kid who danced with 50 cent because this is different than what you're saying but it also happened that way do you do we know what sort of horrible curse was put no i think he has if you cranked the andy milanakis disease to 400 okay so like he has it more and he might be lower yeah that's him keenan cahill okay legend of youtube i don't know if i want to watch the whole thing you can't talk about it this much show it to me rachel and then we can't we can't not look at it oh we can hold on we can get our ged you don't even have youtube premium bro it's 2025 six i didn't know what year it was earlier i look at the burger dude this is dude this is awesome this guy okay dude he broke the internet he brought hey let's break the internet so he would just post this a lot and then every and then finally like celebrities saw him and then they started joining him dude that's fucked up cuz they won't get in there and playing with clout dude they weren't getting in the fortnight call with them you can have it put it down on me that's a song this is the whole thing okay yeah and it's 50 cents in this it's a game on 2010 there he comes in we used to see this and go well this is going to be this is also of the year it took another 15 years for ninja to get somebody equivalent on that's right 50 this is like ninja yes i didn't think about it that way ninja with progeria would have gotten drink on so much i i mean it's so much cooler than drake ninja 2 because it's like a surprise yeah yeah i did like the pacing yes 50 cent doesn't come in to like minute two of the video stop because you click this video and you're just kind of hoping that it's just your favorite guy doing his his lip-syncing routine it's a reaction i think they still hang no is he alive is he alive 50 cents if simpuckis is alive that guy's alive i think they're soul linked it's like the waffle house index it's like if the waffle house is closed it's a disaster simpuckis is dead we're in a bad spot oh my god he died that's so sad 2022 december 29th oh my god you guys made such crass jokes about him after he died that's so fun i didn't make a single crass joke no i said he broke the internet you said a couple things the 400 thing shout out to a passed on goat you know passed on viral legend but viral legend i can't respect that as a current viral legend i don't think i'm a current viral legend you went viral for saying you were too old to be in the amogus lobby i am i was too old i'm glad you admit it i was too old are you told from minecraft no not for speed running no zippers like me no because if i'm too old zippers too old i'm not too old but they watch me carefully because you never know what a 30 year old does in that minecraft space you're out of coal now right you're out of coal now i'm not out of cold no i'm not out of cold yeah being a 30 year old minecrafter is like being a 40 year old guy in a fight you just don't know what they can do yeah i don't think it's you don't don't make it 45 year old around high school you're either picking someone up or there for the wrong reasons and your hair is bleached i feel like it's all it's that was for charity together into a bad version of a guy i don't charity doesn't count it was chair for charity for kids i did for kids yeah the kids wanted this and i said i'll give it to you we have charity for adults yes you can do adult charity what's the percentage breakdown definitely less that's great we have the adult only food bank we need the adults we need the to help the kids the food bank where you can't bring your family 18 plus we need your id at the adult food bank minors dni at the food bank i think minors do not eat i think i think we need a food bank for straight white adults that are men the food banks yo no cap do you see a picture of banks he's in the ocean he's still wearing his hat i've seen every picture of banks the internet does not let him live down the fact that he's like 34 or whatever it is so awesome he's an unfindable chrome hearts jeans he's an unfindable chrome's wearing a hat on the beach in the water in the water in the water's tub that's some loda dota shit that's next level are people making these like these are photoshops no they're just finding real photos he's like he's like a fat guy who wears shirt and goes in pool but with hat with hat no it's like if the fat guy wore the shirt in the pool took off his shirt and had a six pack because he has hair is he yeah that's what i was gonna ask i don't know if it was surgically placed or not didn't we confirm that he's not balding yeah we've confirmed i did i did research i didn't do research i thought he was bald i asked people on the inside oh really he's not bald because he had that brother banks moment brother banks was a big deal yeah maybe the hat's like forty thousand dollars and he doesn't want to findable uh forty six and a half or whatever under findable fifty fifty fifty fifty new york giant's hat twenty carat hat uh so you know it's it's the holidays we were all separate for weeks yeah and you guys got and before before you guys got everybody riled up you guys were riled people what are you talking about i don't know i will fucking kill you if you keep talking which one of us poster me my vague post you've context hat i require context the fact that i was leaving the pod and now the the fan base is all right it's leaving it is going away what's the bait dude i'm literally i'm leaving at the end of twenty twenty seven now you are you gave them a date what are you josh man and miles yeah just one more year no just one more year guys played like that teenagers and died do that didn't do that never said i was living in 2026 i thought i never said that you thought it was this ever on dearie that's bad friend behavior i don't care it was summer 2027 somebody said somebody in the discord they were like i think he's leaving in the latter half of 2026 and i was like where did you get that information they just made it up they push it all the way up to where they were like is aiden gonna be on the next episode i will say the if you listen to the intro with zero context it vaguely sounds like the next year of the yard like 2026 will just not have me in it i was kind of trying to when i was doing that whole thing talking about you as if you were dead and no one picked that up they just thought you were leaving no because me being dead is already the joke under every video i'm ever in yeah it's actually fly high that's so lame you do with squeaks too what happened to him they just say fly high every time i love that for him they want him dead huh um they want him dead they want him dead fast i had i was going through on band forms and it was somebody who's just a big squeaks hater they're like and they spell his name wrong i'm like fuck skeaks skeaks fucking sucks this guy sucks can this guy shut up and then their unbanned like you know note that they write was fuck skeaks unban me when he's canceled wow say that and it's a double i did bark yeah save the date save the day i gotta get squeaks for when he comes on the couch you know what they get him for is having dog shit tasting coffee we had a big talk about coffee when we were at the at dinner he's like no dude here's what you do stump town beans put him in the middle of the coffee pot they're they're they're perfect they're perfect i like disgusting fucking i went and got some time beads i did pour over which is better than a coffee pot it tasted like dog shit i haven't messaged him yet dude okay he's he's a fucking asshole when it comes to coffee because i because we went to a coffee spot i get a little cream top yeah you look at cream top i love it creamy you love it creamy up to me and fucking him how do you like that down bot zipper like a goofy laugh to that it was like it wouldn't be as good the other way around and so and so i order that and then and then he goes enough coffee for your cream you know that's not real coffee by the way really and then and then he goes up and he goes can i have a coffee black oh no cream no sugar he didn't ask for a geisha he just said black coffee yes like he's fucking like he knows anything yes he just he had when he goes to a coffee spot he just goes can i just have a black coffee he doesn't to ask for the ethiopia oh you know newt he says black coffee and whatever they bring him they bring him so all his big thing is no additives but i don't think he has like a nice taste you think of a good palette no palette there's no power if he's telling you to get stump town beans and he said it's perfect then he's a he's a bot yeah i don't know what to say he's a droid squeaks is a droid and we should cancel him so i can unban that guy we need that guy back it's so funny is tim sent me this like crazy guy tim tim and me well i i don't but he sends me like the craziest of your uh people that get banned and we just laugh we just laugh at them and one guy hated squeaks so much and i'm like why what is it you watched the dark souls marathon you're like yeah i mean he's fine like fine at worst maybe if you guys are arguing and you don't like your dollies being mad because you're just racist no squeaks no no no the person chatter if they are they are indicating that they are and i want to back up maybe to the first question as well what first question the first because when you interpreted it that he could be you know i think you don't know if squeaks is or is not i think he could be against whom like he's sometimes white bride we should cancel him preemptively i think we should squeaks is racist had bad has bad taste in coffee i will say you can't say somebody's bad taste in coffee but you can't say if they like black coffee yes you can i think you can what it's like because what if the black coffee was from the gas station they're like that's my favorite yeah it doesn't matter at least it's coffee you ever had gas station coffee yeah it's 400 degrees sometimes it's great why is it so hot yeah it's like a sometimes the mcdonald's coffee hits one time i heard it's so hot because truck drivers needed to be hot for a long time and i was like i don't think they're thinking about the truck drivers at the gas station no they're not they just they have a machine that's going to be hot for a long time and i was like i don't think they're thinking about that superheats that machine chinese scientist levels it's so hot nuclear fusion chinese scientist coffee that's why there's always a chinese guy working the machine at the 7-eleven the tools to turn the hot meter up yeah he has the small allen it doesn't matter who owns the 7-eleven it could be a white guy could be an indian guy there will be a chinese guy at the back running the coffee machine they have to someone's gotta put the peptides in the coffee did anyone put me on the peptides because alex keeps bringing it up i don't i don't understand a word he's talking about dude so my girlfriend will put shit in her coffee in the morning it's like she's like yeah it's like collagen and peptides and shit and i'm like okay cool and i taste it and it's like it tastes like a butt mike made the coffee it's so foul and i'm like you like the coffee you like this and she's like yeah and i'm like then that's crazy well i you know what i you gotta reshift your your whole paradigm because i think some people treat their morning coffee like a like a serum like a brew brew oh which is which is it's a potion that you take yes and then you get stat buffs yeah okay do you think estes flasks taste good yeah hell yeah like no it's like a yellow gatorade what is that you can see what is that it obviously you don't know wow dude metamucil takes good i don't even know how i relate to him i'm trying to think of a valorant equivalent it's crazy that's actually fucked up oh this is the yellow who knows what this is the yellow thing that you drink in dark soul oh she knows she's a mother bitch she knows she's drinking one every minute this is what when josh was doing couch quest didn't he drink a medello every time he drank one of these medello souls okay and then and then for weeks later he would just casually call a medello the estes yeah you know if he's like drinking on the couch or healing liquid yeah yeah it's not well you're saying this so i think this flasks would taste bad yes dude they literally give you life as an undead they gave you they gave you the fucking drake sprite commercial skin where you're fucking your cyborg and your medicine don't taste good i think medicine don't taste good i think there's a couple things that taste good estes flask five gum the idea not the gum yeah and those two things and that's it well five five gums more of a feeling than a taste i love actually is advil sucking on advils it's all the sugar coated advils why'd they do that to make it yummy but like why are you sugar and my medicine the same reason they made antifreeze sweet do you not know the song and if he's a sweet yeah it kills the medicine go down the medicine full of sugar and that was about advil that was it was and it was written by a big poppins was an advil yeah my goodness originally it was mary advil i guess i don't know there's a johnson and johnson sponsored film they actually started world war ii in the nazi regime just to make the film yeah and because that's method because that's method is making the third right i do still suck on the advil i did it week i did it last week i read some shit online once when i had a sore throat and it was like bite the advil and then swallow the powder quickly and the powder will coat your throat and i was doing that for years why do you want to call your throat because it like it that's it's like oh hit the throat specifically yes because as opposed to using the advil as like a body ointment i use it as a topical ointment and i was spreading it's you know i was spreading it powdery good it's gotta be so bad did it work yeah it did that's why i kept doing it really yeah and then i had i was dating somebody in college who was in like the nurse field and i was chewing advil around them and they said don't chew the advil around me wait do we just casually chewing advil your blood must have been like not like on why your ribs don't heal anymore yeah not like i don't like if i was tuesday let's choose something it was like if i'm hurting if i'm hurting my throat hurting if i'm if my throat hurting i'm chewing are you saying you have weak throat i'm not anymore i think you weakened it i have any strength in his throat with advil my throat's strong now you know what got weak i'm i'm not kidding that yesterday was the first time i had solid poop since i've been sick yeah that's so weird that is so it hit me really hard man absurd what i what i read is that when this thing happens that happened to us that we what we went through intestinal lining uh dissolves off and we have to rebuild it and mine's just slower you shed yours yeah a little the little guys in my intestine cheering and throwing a parade like finally they just worked really hard my guys were fucking the witch is dead my guys were like the keebler elves just sleeping on the job yeah it was christmas vacation give a little time off i mean you're a little older too i'm a little older i think that was why how was your vacation it was awesome i just fucking hung out was that all you did pretty much is that all you didn't do anything else i'm trying to think of what he what is he leaving on what he's so snappy i mean what else he's just hung out i sent you like four things pull them up what because i got tapes i think sly was a little too fucking bored over the holidays what did i do you guys getting as many texts as i was i got more than normal yeah he messaged me a lot i haven't talked to my friends what the fuck is your problem i didn't say i disliked it i i did dislike some what are you everything here is really funny i wish mine were all great exchange too i i sent i got recommended the the toad version of my way by frank sinatra toad sinatra which i already heard but you know and i hadn't heard and i know i love how he puts in the title no ai one take and he's like coughing and crying at the end of the song because of how hard it is to sing uh zipper all right so i just wanted to go through some of the messages i received really can we go in order here is this the first one uh okay all right this one is it's just i don't know it was just so so this one was sketch was confused why bruce drop him off kept bringing up uh bringing him while reacting the phase drama and pushing room rumors that he and banks were cracking each other it's skull emoji so i got this too of course but he left discord to text you so like he discorded me the message and then texted you the mess he really wants you i know okay so i've read this sentence three times i don't think i know what it means well there there was this rumor which is not fair to sketch but that he and banks were cracking each other which is sketch and not not i thought it was bruce and banks were cracking each other never crack bank seems he looks like he can take a crack whoa what does that mean oh but presumably it means fuck a man he looks fuckable or look he looks bruce drop him off and banks were fucking each other is that what you're saying i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know that's lemonade stand aiden bruce yeah that's lemonade stand guys we're so sorry we that's not is that not what it means he didn't know what an acid flask was i'm sorry bruce but keno is spreading rumors about his next text so i ignored that one the next test you can go to the next tab it's about the popeyes meal and he texted me popeyes is now serving streamer bundle meals with the following streamers agent sinna extra emily and in the graphic is lacy and can you now show what slime wrote which is how does lacy have a popeye bundle and you don't genuinely kill yourself tonight you said question marks like you don't know what i'm saying okay i said question marks because i i i thought why did you say that i gotta be real it's i when i see that and that you're not there it makes me feel that way right thank you am i fucking Is this not your job, Mr. Red Bull Man? - Okay, do you know what? they got the deal because of the fake deal but they didn't get paid right so there was the fit so there was the streamer prom and there was a popeyes bundle that was announced for several streamers the streamers came out and they said i've never been told about this bundle i'm not getting paid fuck this and then it was found out that funny mike had basically set this all up as a sponsor for his event but not communicated it with the streamers he vgbc'd them he maybe that's a good example that's some old head shit huh are we a couple are we a couple of salty but fuckers that's salty fuckers it's it's salty and so then popeyes said well why don't we just actually make deals with all these people and then they did okay but i wasn't at streamer prom right right you didn't why didn't you okay let's go back to it so you also didn't get asked to prom that's what you're telling us no i didn't get asked to prom okay did you go stag at least i didn't wasn't invited to the event an event you stayed home i couldn't have gone do you think that makes you cool that you didn't get to go and everyone else did because you're a streamer i don't it was streamer prom that's a good point so it makes me wonder be there a chaperone i think i mean yeah sure i don't think oh you could be a teacher it feels like you did is it cooler to not go to the prom or go as a chaperone teacher go as a chaperone teacher you know how at the end of every like high school coming of age movie they have the prom scene at the end and then there's like two teachers who get together in the background that could have been you and cutie oh that would oh my god or the cool moves not going yeah no you're right you it was really cool to not be not getting a popeyes deal yeah you're right yeah the people who didn't go to prom were the coolest slot okay so another one makes a lot of sense for slides text next text this is yeah i said this to aiden too uh how to say you fucking cuck in chinese this guy is awesome because he'll say it and then he'll just slap the camera and put a belt sound he'll be like you fucking cuck he does have a lot of passion did you see what what what i saw what you put yeah you can't it's tough it's tough unless you're fluent in chinese you can't rip this one it's like saying ryan higa's old name oh yeah yeah that's why i didn't try because i was i was like oh i'll try this out loud a few times yeah but there is a phrase in chinese it feels like you should start somewhere if you get too excited who's too excited about saying these words it's like it's bad are you really into the chinese part of it it's bad you're really learning for the right reasons okay so what was the problem with this nothing uh no uh this well this one was this one was fun to try but until i realized i couldn't try too much yeah uh next one okay peter griffin gets molested several times compilation seriously so funny with the with with the thumbnail being the doctor from family guy behind him licking peter's ear saying i am a breeding bull yes and that one i didn't reply why not because i i didn't know what to say at the time and then you followed up with if the broncos win the super bowl i get to punch you full in the tummy dude this is like a week of no reply you understand how fucking annoying that is to me i think okay okay one recycler you said that to me minutes ago i send it to all my friends because i like my friends i don't think i caught that one i give i sometimes i give you guys different ones if if we could if we could be honest if we could be vulnerable for ludwig for a moment which sometimes when you send peter griffin gets molested several times compilation seriously so funny screenshots i wonder what i even could say back that and and let me tell you it's like i spend a few minutes thinking about it and if i come up with nothing i go maybe it wasn't meant to be replied to and that's how i feel sometimes it's like nothing's coming also by the way if you're sending the same message to me and others this is just oh that's tech slop it is a bit of tech slop but there's different cases worthy of being replied to there's different cadences and timings that you're not taking into account that you wouldn't understand because you don't know how to use your phone because you're an animal and i just go to a simple question is tech slop worthy of being replied to of course it is because if you sent me something if anyone sent me something like this and i laughed i would just go lol all caps that's what we do with our friends that's too much for you that that acknowledges too much because i make you laugh that well that's reply slop did it make you uh i think reply slop is necessary sometimes did it make me laugh i i in the moment because um did you show cutie i didn't i didn't show her i'll send it to her i don't know i don't know if that's necessary i don't know if that's necessary i'll send that to her the the broncos one or the peter what if i sent her the whole string of everything i've sent that would be better at once or slow dripped it would be at the same cadence uh and then what's the final one this is so i've watched this a hundred times you went to publics for a chicken tender sub and it's a guy with the face filter and scroll down a little bit oh my god he just wrote erob like a genius tiktoker or if he if one day he'll fulfill his dream of moving to the desert alone yes this is what we'll have yeah like we'll just have this from him that's true we should all just get installed in our living rooms like a like a screen like a frame tv that just he can send messages to only oh my god we just have it up and our children can gaze upon it uncle slime's communicating with us it's like a digital picture frame but for insane shit yes dude i'd be putting i'd be putting a lot of like donkey gets hit by train in reverse on there you you would be so fun in an era where you'd have to send messages via like carrier pigeon oh i'd be such a little troll and that pigeon would probably fucking kill itself from exhaustion i would have a lot of pigeons but it'd be funny to get like the thing is i would make sure to send a pigeon back if if like barnabas sent me a funny joke about the fields i'd send him one back about the surfs and and say lol yeah lol good one good one barnabas i'll see you in 40 days you've done it again barnabas um so you were bored that's okay i i wouldn't say bored i just i was it was a lot of phone time what'd you get down to i want to hang out i didn't do anything game i played a lot of video games you played a bit of league i had i played a little bit of league dude i kept thinking i was like i got like a couple i got like 12 days maybe i like make a run to plat and then every time i would hover the go live button i would shit really bad and i'm like bad omen i can't do it yeah you need your l's needed to repair i mean you only had a solid yesterday like i i mean well wait wait a solid poop yesterday like yeah that's right solid one and and i was like that might be solid can i ask that yeah it's weird solid mine was the first solid was weird solid yeah i'm a war turtle of normal i am taking nick poops constantly big dumps big dumps you guys remember those like um the foam you could get it was like it had little white beads in it it was like floam it was yeah floam yeah that's it that's how mine came out that's crazy in the in-between like floam that's it oh that's your butthole that was what my butthole my butthole made this for you reminds me of moon sand almost crazy it was dope it was weird to touch it was dude they he snapped with this if you let it dry it becomes solid it's just the on like the floor of like a car like a car manufacturer i feel like it's a government weapon that they were like we can't use it so let's just tell it i didn't like these growing up because i had an internal battle about eating them like i wanted to try i wanted to eat them so bad we all try floam a little bit i like that they still make floam of course a hundred well now it's now it's diy slime right that's the new hot thing well that shit's in fruity pebbles no they don't make it man they probably make a copy it's called something else uh and and the what well i don't know if you recall our last meeting you were so concerned about the water me and you no you though their torrential downpour oh my god you bought a suit i did yes i bought a suit yeah i did i i put this little like a drainy thing that goes in like the driveway that like soaks the water out and a hose goes to the street and it was a sucker and i set it up and i didn't get flooded and it was nice but i hated doing it but i didn't get wet because i had the the suit and you hate being wet so he hates being wet i think i'm becoming the guy who hates being wet welcome i used to love rain yeah california boy i don't get it very often i feel like we've gotten it quite a fucking lot last couple years we're out of a drought and i think i'm you know i mean you're one you're one year out of a drought all of a sudden you're like fuck the rain let's go back to the drought drought's been over for a minute i don't think it's been a few years i don't think so more than a few years i i was it's been raining the past like five days and i had that thought that a lot of people have like damn if i lived in like seattle like it would be shotgun time yeah it'd be shocking it would it's just so miserable it was the opposite that's just me i wanted the same thing i went to seattle relished and i relished you relished in the dog shit weather and you went to the pike's place market and took a dump on all the fish i did do that when's the last time you went to pike's place market oh um is this two years ago too what'd you do there did you buy a fish i took my lovely girlfriend there to watch the fish get thrown around what do you mean thrown around they got a game they toss them they toss the fish the guys at the market they toss the fish around they fuck them and then they toss them to the next guy they fuck the fish in the mouth look bad look at them fuck that fish in the mouth that's a hot fish fuck the fish fuck the fish long carp I'm gonna come coming now coming out coming the fish fuck fish coming your way you didn't go back that sounds awesome no I just said I didn't stay in Seattle for most of it I was a tourist I was on the Puget Sound I was hanging out with sea otters and seals you saw some yeah oh sweet and you were offline offline you offline you weren't gaming uh no he came back not while I was there but then I came back and I was a little piggy do you guys remember that failed monkey hospital that I started yeah yeah back during COVID I didn't know it failed I was an investor it failed it failed at what it failed at I guess there was no clientele for one but also we didn't really help any monkeys so what was it what was it so what I what I learned was that most of the money went into individual Netflix subscriptions for each of the hospital rooms for the monkeys to watch TV that was your yeah that was your big idea see I kind of oversaw it but I didn't like I was in the nitty gritty right type of thing how did you go so long without realizing that and what made you realize I was busy for a while and I was just busy and then like it goes under right whatever business is good business is going under business is going under sometimes you lose a lot of money because of a guy you put in charge but how many how many Netflix accounts were you signed up for so that's the thing I thought that all the accounts for the monkey hospital incorporated LLC that closed down the monkeys would shut them down for you I thought someone would do it right I used rocket money I checked the subscriptions I'm paying about sheesh it was about 700 individual Netflix subscriptions the company was running on your personal bank account yeah yeah yeah to keep it all in one bank that's that's Simon that's like $10,000 a month I know and it was and I was like why am I so in the negative you're saying you use rocket money the personal finance app that cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending helps lower your bills so that you can go your savings to discover that you're a monkey hospital because when I log into rocket money it lists a bunch of the different things I pay for like maybe it'll list even like my bills or like the expenses I want to keep and I can just track like all my budget stuff did you not get but you opened rocket money and saw seven seven thousand seven hundred seven hundred Netflix subscriptions individual Netflix subscriptions all just tied to proton mail accounts that I don't know how to get into it shows your credit score what was yours when you were in there and you were looking it was like two or three digits can we start there oh it's a good question because I was gonna say yeah it was like it was two digits it was two digits it was two digits I didn't know it could go that well I didn't know it goes that way but it does and what helped me rocket money helped me track all this stuff and figure it out and actually you press a button and it cancelled all of them all seven hundred well I it was all except one because I wanted one you do have to go one at a time there isn't I don't think rocket money has a cancel seven hundred Netflix subscriptions and actually that's feedback we're sending to them because probably there's many people in your shoes because this isn't weird at all if you if you own a monkey hospital if you're considering opening a monkey hospital if any of this is true about you I'm going to put a monkey in the hospital that's fucking right I'm on the other side of this shit now girl I'm going to put that monkey in the hospital let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster let rocket money help you go to rocket money dot com slash the yard that's rocket money dot com slash the yard and they can help you out hide your monkeys because I'm coming just just check out your normal subscriptions I'm coming monkeys see if you got it today good cut back to the episode I saw the discord does this snitching shit on you now where it tells you how long the call has been going for yeah ten and a half hours he's in there okay okay there's an asterisk on that there's an asterisk on that for 15 minutes I was pissing no no no no I went AFK I went AFK I wasn't doing anything any better I wasn't gaming this is I sat on the couch and I watched strange I binged stranger things the last season of stranger things yeah you went in the group chat and you I don't know if you thought we were your normie friends you're like anyone check out the new stranger things season that's a reasonable thing to ask Aiden's so funny cause he'll like delete twitter off his phone and then use it in the browser and then he'll like move his gaming PC to the office but then just live here it's all bullshit I'm like your life is an illusion bro yeah you don't get it's just it's just coke it's just dead coke dude he put his gaming PC here and then he for a week cause he couldn't be home cause of like construction he like lives here and he's like I think I could live here permanently maybe isn't this cool I'm like yeah bro you want your gaming computer at home I don't know you want to watch movies at home yeah it's nice man yeah it's just we I just it's admitting it that's the important part I like it oh yeah I know 10 hours in the call with Yusuf isn't that crazy it was 6 hours it was him and Yusuf it was 6 hours he played Diablo Yusuf watched him he played Diablo were you beaten off were you beaten off I wasn't beaten off for Yusuf you get a Puget Sound cart you get a Puget Sound cart for Yusuf you get a Puget Sound cart I got a Puget Sound cart you want to watch that's what I was saying Yusuf you want to see my Puget Sound cart because he would get in a cab I've said this before that he would get in a taxi cab with Hitler or Netanyahu anyone you want and he would just become their friend because he's fucking Amon and he doesn't decide to be judgmental enough Netanyahu you see how we left the realm you see how we left the realm we had like something reasonable which is that oh like Aiden wants to be in the office all the time if Netanyahu played Counter Strike which is likely in a way you would be like oh that's cool man because I want to hang out with Yusuf in Discord it means I would be okay with Netanyahu in the Uber ask Nick Yingling he would say you describe to him who Netanyahu is first you explain that this is a man he's not a search engine or a it's a guy bringing that to 2026 huh oh yeah what's that that's not going anywhere blood that's just classic shit I can't believe you're gonna be here the whole year plus the other one that is so interesting yeah it is isn't it you like you're discovering that you just had misinformation like you're I just thought this news comes from your lack of awareness I thought we were talked about it like at a time where he was like yeah two years and that was like a year ago the visa application takes longer than I was initially told and I'm waiting so I'm right then you were in the room when he talked about this yeah but we know because we've talked to him about it yeah I haven't and his initial date was also still 2027 and it was supposed to be like summer I don't remember that your honor I don't remember shit so it's gone from like summer of 2027 to like December of 2027 your honor I don't remember that your honor I don't care your honor I try to talk to Aiden as least as I can as little as I can me when you guys talk about tier 2 in the group chat yeah right and I can't ask I can't ask my fucking friends about stranger things in the group chat no no that one I replied huh I know I know I know I replied I know and I just what does that leave me to do but beat my carp with Yusuf in the call because nobody talked to me about stranger things I have one option you front fucked the fish you front fucked it man back fucking that's extra what did you do what did you do yeah how was your holiday Final Fantasy 7 Slay the Spire I know he's all fucking game order pill Gauntlet Legends again you beat Final Fantasy 7 OG he has not beat it I'm not beat it I'm like he's not out of Midgar yet how far am I I don't know the percentage Sector 7 plate just fell you don't know either 30% you know you don't know either didn't you play it's not even close to 30% didn't you play I'm right no it's not you're so mad I am mad because I played the game a million times give a percentage then boy he's 10% 10 to 10 10 oh my goodness you gotta get out of Midgar you are silly I thought you'd be out by now but you don't know how to play no I just don't play that often don't know how so you and then you played Slay the Spire you went crazy I played so much I played the Slay the Spire board game you had a single player game I heard that board game's amazing it's pretty dope but it takes way too long oh we played for maybe two or three hours. Who's we? I had a group of friends we played. Like Alex and his friend group. They were probably taking breaks and talking shit. You weren't even here. I bet you fucking talk about straight fucking shit. I bet you say season five sucks with them. You did ghost us for like a week straight. Dude, I looked at my Discord message with Ludwig. We had not messaged in over a month and a half. Yeah, that happens sometimes. So, I'm supposed to invite you? I was ill for a month and a half. We did have the group chat where we were scheduling the yard stuff and then you came in and he's like it's not even been 24 hours, guys. And it had been four days since the initial question. We played for three hours. We got to the end of act one. There's three acts. Of the board game? Yes. That's a long ass board game. Dude, it takes all day. Is it board game slop? It comes with What is board game slop? Are we just saying it's anything? Board game slop is every variety of Monopoly ever made? No, it's not. It's so well made. But it comes with things to save the game to pick up later. Like, that's how they know it's going to take forever. Ken Chen used to play Terraforming Mars. I think Zippers played that too. And the way Ken would talk about it was like don't get him started. It's board games for people who have like a board game table and they leave the game out. I don't have that. I gotta put it away. Zipper, is there a board game table? I know you grind. At the homies house Where you play board games They got like a I don't know I don't want to name it. It's like Puzzlers. Puzzlers got a puzzle table, and the puzzle fucking stays out. It's too long. And you have to sleeve all the cards when you get the box. You don't have to. You do. Why? Because the backside of the card is the upgraded version of the card, so you would know what you're drawing. Why would they do that? It's insane. It's kind of insane. It's just so they have less cards overall. Just so John Spire can make more fucking money. Also, when you upgrade your card, you've got to take it out of the sleeve, flip it, put it back in, and then when you're done playing, everyone has to un-upgrade all their cards. Dude, you're 30 now. You play board games. I played a board game. He's 30 now. You're 30 now. You play Among Us for Teenagers. Bro, your holiday break was like 5, 6, 7 in board games. Yeah, real. Yeah, it's like 35-year-olds. Max and Millie and dude have the same holiday break. I'm doing a lot of 30-year-old shit right now. Getting depressed by the rain. That's a new 30-year-old thing. That's pretty new. I was thinking about it. You guys are going to hit 35 and be like, damn, Slime was right about most things in life. You're going to message me, and you're going to apologize. I will never say that, but I will never do it. I'll never do it. And he said it beautifully. Fuck! Honestly, the whole time, I was just like, damn, I want to play the video game instead. Yeah? Yeah, it's better as a video game. Was that friend group? So this is something, it's been going around on TikTok and shit, where it's like my dad, when everyone keeps talking, and he really wants to play the fucking board game, and it's like this seething man. No, they're great. They're a vibe. I'm that guy. Yeah. That's what your fucking girlfriend is. That's what my friend does. No, my girlfriend was you. Oh, really? She was like, everyone fucking play the fucking video game, or the board game, and we're all making jokes. Oh, my God. It makes me so mad. So that's why I don't play. That's why you don't play the board game. That's why I don't friend slot. Yeah, I'm not going to agree with you when I'm 35. You're going to live a drastically different life for the next five years than I did, that's for sure. Thanks. I hope it goes bad, though. What did you do, Ludwig? Yeah, what the fuck did you do? Offstream. I beat all of Hades 2. Oh. Really? Like, once? No, you. Offstream? Like, unlocked the ending. Oh. Offstream? Offstream, yeah. What's that about? She's playing off-stream gaming. It's cool. Offstream. You're playing Expedition X-3. I was playing Expedition X-3. Oh, Expedition X-3. Oh, I got a fun little French phrase for you. A phrase? Yeah. Hit me. Un fuck m'a poussé. What could that mean? what do you think it means i don't know i fuck my pussy it means hello uh but it's an informal greeting for hello a penguin pushed me no way yeah what on fuck my pussy yeah yeah that's it a penguin pushed me i fuck my pussy wow yeah thank you yeah that and you can have that now and i'll say that to people you can say that to people and say to french people english people yeah okay you can just laugh at them now because they'll understand it i know why are we all single-player gaming is it because we're 30 i was doing it because it was the holidays yeah and online gaming requires me to go to a pc which would separate me from my girlfriend for the holidays so she was crafting and i was gaming i see oh my god and you're crafting in a different way and i'm crafting a different way by fucking crafting up achievers yeah and fucking excellent gamer skills my if i trust the news that i read you're not it's not going well for you you should be going bad what you die a lot and that's the news that i see these two no in minecraft oh in minecraft he said you're crafting you stream from that fucked up liminal space setup that you have okay as someone who hasn't really been watching too much can you explain to me what is so hard about climbing out of coal zipper laughs zipper laughs is everybody play ranked okay isn't it the k said everything not yet oh my god posturing what's your rsg what's 37 is that what's that mean it's his it's his personal best for just speed running solo you've beat it in 37 minutes oh shit um i i am the most like i don't even want to say because you're gonna vilify me i'm not gonna i would never vilify you i'm the most infamous minecraft player alive okay i am the most persecuted i'm the most targeted i'm the most yes i'm the most suppressed i guess there are no famous black minecrafters so yes you would you would end up and that's weird and that's not true what about dream not because he's black but he's persecuted are we sure about both yeah i'm just saying it's a very white specifically mcs are ranked and specifically this like this format i am i just like in and again i like if i were a random person and i booted up and i played i would be like high iron silver right now how do people i'm sorry are you sniped yes i don't know how the game works and you tld army tldr you both boot up into a filtered seed okay it's a seed that's like generous okay you know that that's easily beatable and you have the same one so me and you we have the same seed we're in different worlds though i would love to have the same seed with you in the same way you're sharing seed just move past the seed part but we share it's hard but you do share it for me we share i'll try i'll try it's a captivating prospect we share the same seed whoever completes the seed faster wins whoever completes it completes it yes completion could you tell me in detail how you complete the seed you would be you would kill the dragon and i feel like you'd beat oh you'd beat it yes you'd whoever beats it first right where beats the seed first yeah is the winner the completion yes the completion yes i actually want the answer to the question this became way more interesting the issue is that when you're lower ranked most people because they struggle they're new they'll forfeit things haven't gone okay right so you have you know the line to take to beat it but something went awry like starcraft you ff you don't play out the game yes and so and now imagine this is a great analogy imagine league of legends with no timer restriction on when you can ff what do you think the early ffs would be like how early do you think people would start there'd be some early ones be some real like single minute people rip it at not not one minute but nine ten minutes if they could you know if they weren't restricted they could ff they'd be ffing you know the minute they lost lane uh they'd definitely be throwing the vote up yeah yeah and so it's like that's what happens so like most people's experience is you can ff your way out of coal nobody has to play more hands of poker basically everyone's just everyone's folding their hand let me get this straight so you're cool because no one forfeits everyone's calling me to the river because because they think they just you're getting beaten in these river situations is it because they know it's you yes because they know it's me they're sniping me they're watching my stream oh okay so i i every single hand i have to go to the fucking river where everybody else just gets folded to fucking w nation sure with any two and i and i'm also getting smurfed on you know there's also people you know yeah i want to watch slime stream this so wait wait wait it's a one speed running it's minecraft two it's a it's a 1v1 yes and that's how you get rank is you defeat how much like elo do you get or something like it's like 20 if you win 20 if you lose well how many how many wins does it take because it's like coal 2 coal 1 when i first got my rank again this is i think i don't know if it was oliver's the guy made i don't know if it's oliver's fall or somebody who makes the game but they they make the game right one of the one of the devs right they gave my initial ranking of like 180 you need 400 to get out of cool i would need 11 wins just to get out of the lowest rank okay but your heart is that your heart stuck and how many games you played who did that like not even that many like 20 games you played like 20 games you played 25 or something you have to play to the river when you go to the river you're losing most of the time um no i'm winning a majority i'm winning go to last season go to last i don't know if you can go 18 18 wins 11 completions wait what's your record my fastest win is a 29 58 no no no sorry sorry like your record like wins and losses um i don't know how to check that it's a good question that should be on the thing but what do i it's like 18 and probably like 40 like sorry no no no like that's crazy 18 like 40 18 wins 12 losses something like that so that's 30 18 well i don't know math like don't yell at me look there you can see it do you have an over 50 win rate yes i definitely have but you can't climb i don't understand what i've been over 50 look at look at the last 50 i see you do you have climbed because you went from 180 to 370 yes and you're almost out of coal you're almost out of coal yes you gotta get out of coal i know but i'm just look so you see how few forfeits there are it's all times it's all fucking time now yeah just for an example click on click on somebody else like anyone who who's in no my list my list click on uh big cheese anyone in my fucking list here oh my god and look how many say forfeit do you see what i'm saying right so it's like this guy in in in the last 100 games three finished three yeah and then you go to me all right and it has a time next to it because nobody forfeits because just the sheer thought of beating ludwig is so appetizing i'm i'm so vilified oh my god okay you i hate the data i hate you i have data by the numbers you're right okay and and i was for a lot of these are me forfeiting i stopped forfeiting most of these are fucking me forfeiting by the way now i stopped forfeiting but so many of your wins go to time yes almost all like somebody will die they will have no chance of winning they will just walk around they'll just jump around and they'll watch my stream dude they're trying to hit their set on the way out yes yeah and the only thing that costs them is time not necessarily money and then i'm even trying to win they're just trying to troll that's pathetic no i mean like you've actually won me over i just yeah i i think this all checks out 70 forfeit rate and i have a 14 percent of 14 i wonder how many people like who are stream sniping you like their forfeit rates high because they're just trying to find you and they don't want to play the match they got i'm sure they don't want to play the match they got i'm sure they don't want to play the match they got that happens but if you look at when they forfeit it's not like within 30 seconds you know like they're still wow that's crazy so yeah you know it's that's why and it's that's why i'm i told i was like i'm not doing this online anymore so you're just gonna also you've been i have to get i have to get so much better than my opponents then when i come back i'm a smurf i will so it doesn't matter if they have information on you right actually you're in the same seed it's it does because the normal information is you can just see what the farthest they have gone but you don't see if they died so like you can see for example like there's steps right you first thing you do is you go to the nether you can see if they've gone to the nether okay then you go to a bastion you can see if they go to bash then you go to a fortress then you can see their progress yes so so you can see their progress and usually what will happen is like if you die and you see their progress their their peak their pb so far as they've made it to the end you're like oh my god i died i it would take me so long to get there i'll ff if i made it somewhere but then i died and i had to reset they could see that they see that so is it is the game made better or worse by having ff in it it sounds like if you play these out anyone can win it's like i think they're well i said it you know i said it and and you know there's a whole discussion about how this game is catered towards like you know these netherite fucks okay what it's the it's these say that yeah i can say it is that is that like grandmaster yes oh it's it's like the challenger players i see i see so there's these challenge yeah you can see them in fumi hacks edcr like the top guys from hong kong the the these these these guys name is hmi cables these snakes get it all right they get it all they get the glory they get the gold and the game is catered towards them and their games end in like nine minutes right so everything everything's made for them now like what's the point of this game it's like it's like it's like it's like it's what's best for them and it's like we're talking about 60 people out of like 10 000 who are queuing up 10 000 people queue this game it like the number one player has a nine minute average yeah that is nine minutes yeah yeah dude that's big swag and so they cater everything towards these fucking losers when in reality most of us working class crafters this is your working class story yes and i think there should be a time limit on how long until you can ff but the thing is if let's say we had a oh you have to wait five minutes to ff well for these guys you know you're halfway through the game you know like if i if i added a 10 minute ff role you have to play at least 10 minutes a scaling ff timer with rank and that's what i'm saying maybe a scaling ff time rule i don't know interesting i don't know but the thing is we don't we don't matter so what's your goal get out of coal and then fix the system look really wow you're gonna fix the change the game so i can win it more thank you how to change games and influence devs yeah by having a million twitter followers and yes so i'm working on changing it from the inside i appreciate that that's very revolution that's very patriotic of you yeah you're a patriot i fight new hampshire i fight for working class what's the new hampshire motto live free or die live free or fucking live for your fucking die for your fucking die and i will fucking live fucking free and west virginia says i'm on my dairy i'm on my dairy don't talk to me talk to me are you gonna go to like minecon i don't know what that is oh wait is it a thing i think it is isn't that where that famous clip yeah the wham i need more wham i think it is no i'm not gonna go to that why not because i feel like i would come across like a pedophile speed run against ludwig booth and kissing booth oh the ludwig minecraft con kissing booth and that's at minecon adults only no id easy we've checked it no id check what are we what are we cops they got their id checked at the door come on you couldn't see how this could be interpreted and sometimes a shoulder rub no one could see how this could be interpreted poorly interpreted by who no i think there's no cameras not only not only am i coming to the realization that this could be interpreted poorly but i'm starting to think that all the times we've said adults only private previous to this that the same problem may have existed wow what are you even talking about and you have a new you have a new view on life what are you visiting all the times that we've we've brought this up yeah and i can see the issue yeah when you have to say adults only it changes the vibe you're weird now yeah you're getting weird now you're your vibes fucked up and weird now okay for saying shit like that i'm with him i hate to be with him but i'm with him we don't even like each other but we have to agree on this shit two worlds that's weird two worlds one c me and ludwig sucking fucking create creating an uroboros with our mouths i would i would i'm fucking ludwig on creative mode first off i would love to make an uroboros with our mouths second you should just start a minecraft hardcore run today dude i would watch the fuck out of that everyone says that you you know what i thought about doing the other day but again pooping and also i'm practicing saget it's definitely sagat bob saget like bob i'm playing saget and street fighter so again it's just not how you say it say his name what what he's tight he's a thai fighter and you say it with a lot of aggression what are you talking about okay so i'm gonna say it how you should say it so the characters i play are cammy and akuma nope nope because i know where you're going again i'm gonna say how you should say it so god i'm gonna say how you say it and you tell me which is the same thing though okay this is one so god yeah this is two saget that's two or one that was two that was you can do one which one was which what what okay okay so god yeah saget the same thing one one is there two coming okay they're really similar no they're really similar oh that makes sense okay so there must be another it's not like you how you do the best by thing dude you'd be so into speed running minecraft i don't fucking talking about there's all sorts of little tricks and information you can watch so many long videos i don't think you should speed run it i don't think you'd like to watch videos wait what do you mean and i don't think slime would enjoy speed running why bitch you've never really done it yeah he did uh he did a neon white that's what it's called i was i played a lot of neon white yeah but i think that's like hard different no my clocked hours fucked up no i'm not yeah but like the whole game is like sort of centered around that like minecraft speed running it's not the focal point of the game yeah i understand but it's like the perfect game for like watching long fucking videos for you know he likes that uh i think you're misunderstanding what i like i think he i think he likes learning the technical breakdown of how things work i don't think he would care to learn how to do a housing here's why i don't think minecraft is speed running is initially interesting is because there's there's so much shit in the game there's like cappy bars and frogs and shit and i don't know what the fuck it's too much to learn it's kind of like tekken like street fighter is easier for me because there's not a lot till you play you load up sag it he has a couple of good combo routes he got your di punish your mid screen your corner and all that shit and it's like it's very straightforward dude you posted some shit about your sagat sagat like routine or whatever yeah my my starting your your yeah your mixies your mixies that you got here and i imagined is it were you just writing like wave dash back f smash no they're combo they're combo routes you need to know so your punishes aren't bad okay you get an opportunity you need to take it were they good yeah they're fine oh great they're not too hard i'm happy for you some of them are hard it's a lot of gaming going on between the four gamers we're back to get gaming's back i can teach you if you ever have one another one of those latin t fucking showdowns i can teach you street fighter so they're a long-term partner we gotta beep really yeah no we like them a lot well under the beep he said he said amazing so why beep it he said the raising the bar at and t partner raising the bar okay well anyway i can teach you street fighter i can teach you the tools you need to succeed quickly and fast i can get you rich quick yeah you can close that one cowboy yeah you can close that one fuck what happened what happened it crashed we were in a call and the call and i'm trying to call i'm calling everybody right now specifically through discord and that's how i communicate with everyone with call freaking crash because it was the it was the christmas jingle and it crashed and i'm losing millions now discord i use slack i don't have any other way to communicate with them and if it's a business specific call and it's doing the christmas jingle right we still have that rash you tell me that's what you're doing i'm not doing that i'm not doing that i'm - He's got that rash, bro, and he's talking about it. Have you heard about Quo? Q-U-O? What's that? Yes, Quid Pro Quo. That is Quo. Well, today's episode is brought to you by Quo. The Latin word? Spell Q-U-O. The smarter way to run your business communication. Are you a shark? Who are you? I'm a business shark. I'm business shark. You're a shark. I'm a shark. Sharks, I'm interested. What does this do to me? I think this would help you. It would consolidate a lot of the communication you do with Kelby and other people at the company, including me. Consolidate. Let's talk about that. What's that one? Instead of doing everything on Discord, which for some reason you- Stop. I don't do everything Discord. I use Discord. Teams, Meet. I use Skype. Very confusing. That one is just for Christian. I think this is part of the problem, Ludwig, is that you roll a wheel to pick which thing you're going to communicate with us today across a bunch of different things, and Quo consolidates all of that in one easy-to-track place. You can handle calls and texts. I don't know a single business that uses it. I don't know any. How many businesses use it? Over 90,000 businesses use it already. What? Real quick. What is- What does consolidate mean? It is a word. Consolidate, it means- It's a place in the country. Are we inherently married? It's a country where they put it all in one place. Hold up. I've actually heard of this product. I think it's easy to use. For calls, texts, voicemails, transcripts, and contact details, live in one clean view. One place that you log into, Ludwig, instead of rotating between the assortment of apps that you use every day to talk to me. Okay. Well, I guess I'll make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away, and I'll try Quo for free, plus 20% off your first six months. When I go to quo.com slash the yard, that's Q-U-O dot com slash the yard. Quo, no missed calls. I intentionally ignore Aiden, no missed customers. I intentionally avoid him as my customer. What? We gotta get Kelby. We gotta use Quo to get Kelly back in the home. We lost millions on that deal, bro. I'm your employee. I'm your employee. I'm your employee. You have to talk to me. Quo, you wouldn't have lost so many millions. You can intentionally ignore my calls. I'm out. Boo-boo. Boo-boo-boo. Boo-boo. I'm getting a Skype call. I wrote, I wrote down my gaming list, my gaming goals, because I really want to end this year being lauded as a great gamer. Yeah. Because I think I had a stinky 2025 in that regard. As a gamer? Yeah, I mean, I think I hit plat, and then it kind of dwindled from there. 2025? Yes. Last year. 2025 was. That was last year. Last year. Yeah. And now it's 2026, the year of the horse. You think it was just stinky last year? That's my year. That's how you know. He hit plat. Don't fucking do this. We all watched. We all sat there with our fucking baited breath as he fucking won and got plat in the final hour. And I don't think you want me to go through my gaming achievements in years before that. Oh. I don't think you want us to keep going down that road. We could. Because certain years you wouldn't love. We could do that. You wouldn't love. 2019? 2019, what did I do? I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't like it. Holly would I. We don't talk about it. So I want to get. I had a goal of 16K in Counter-Strike. Yeah. Is that high? I don't know. I'm asking you to get 16K in Counter-Strike. I don't know how high that is. You can do that. You can absolutely do that. Easily. Absolutely. What is that relevant? Relative. 16K is like. Is that platinum? No. The top of. Is it gold in League? You could say it's like the top of gold or plat. It depends if you compare it to like League or other games. What are you? I'm. I'll stop playing Premiere. Yeah, but what are you? Like, what is it? I'm 18. 18? 19? I think I'm 19K right now. But I peaked at 20. Peaked at 20. Which is basically. Is that diamond? It's like diamond. But I'm playing Face It now. And Face It's different. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so 16. I think 16K would be good then. Solid fundamentals. Yeah. A carryable teammate. Can we get that mousepad size higher this time? You want to do the shooter? You want to get a bigger mousepad? Maybe get a bigger mousepad. Well, here's the. You're a little sense. You want to absolutely hit 16K. Here's the fucking deal, okay? Is, you know, I'm selling. I'm selling mousepads that are perfect size. I don't get my own product, okay? You're selling mousepads? I have one for you. Yes, I sold mousepads and they're great. And I'm slaying in product, but I never get to try my own shit. You never get to taste? I never get to taste. And I see this boy on his desk. He's got a whole fucking spread. You get to taste? You don't give him a taste? My bro doesn't get to taste. He gets full off that shit. I have one for you. Yeah, he has one for me. Oh, yeah. He has one for me. I have a new one. It's brand new. It's right there. You got to wipe your ass with it first. I didn't wipe my ass. Yeah, it's all shit stain because he wiped his ass with it first. Why do you treat me like this? You know what happened earlier? This is not a joke. Me and Nick are just talking normal. Just having a lovely conversation like we'd usually do. Ludwig stomps in, cracking the floor. Yeah. And he says to Aiden, we're paying too much in taxes. Yeah, he hits his belly and he goes, boom. And Aiden hears and stands up and he salutes. Yeah, it's like a gong noise. It's like the Kingdom Hearts Heartless that you can't attack until it's a lot. It is a lot. And then he starts bitching at Aiden. And Aiden's like, I can explain. And he's like pushing up his glasses and there's papers flying around and shit. And then he explains it and he calms the beast. Because I would have really blown up. You would have thrown his fucking computer out the window and Ram's expensive right now. And it was really interesting that you're going to sit here and not let him have a taste when you've been tasting as much as you can taste. You can taste as much as you can taste. Give him a taste. Am I giving the taste or getting the taste? You're getting the taste. He said I'm giving the taste. I should get it, I think. Okay. Give him a little taste. Say I give you the taste. You want to hit 16k in Counter-Strike. What else do you want to do? Well, I'd like to get at least gold in MCSR ranked. Gold? Is that. Why did everyone make a noise? Because it sounds high. When you start at coal, it sounds. Because there's playing Minecraft. Silver sounds lovely. First off, okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What? YouTube, I bet that was funny. What? What? Is it harder to get gold in Minecraft or League? Is it hard? It's easier to get it in Minecraft for sure. Because it's just you. It's a 1v1. Yeah. It's like, is it easier to get a thousand in chess? Control. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, because you control all the outcome. Yes. In League, there's a lot of variability. We know. Me a little more. Sure, yeah. But we know. That's awesome. Yeah. You find out when I'm mid-lane. Gold! Why don't you go to fucking lane, bro? Valuable resource. All right, so you're going to golden fucking My Chemical Romance. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I have a slew of names I'm trying to take down in Brovy Bros to regain. I saw that one. Uh-huh. I thought you were talking about that. And then, you know, I want to tackle some more single-player games. You got to beat Bloodborne, Sekiro. You should Brovy Bro the yard. Each of you? In our best game. Like your Scott Pilgrims? Maybe like we're a team. Yeah. I'm Scott Pilgrim and you're the ex-lovers? Did we destroy Ludwig? Yeah, we're better at the games that we're good at were way better. In a Brovy Bro, a traditional Brovy Bro where it's nine games. A hundred percent I'd lose that. You have That's not even a question. You have two. Stop. Hold on. Uh-huh. Stop bragging. Yep. We all know that. I'm unfathomably bad at general gaming. I think the only one that would beat me is Nick if the list was curated in a way that helped him. Me and Nick spent 40 minutes on a level in the Polar Express video game. Oh my God. He was so bad. Yeah. He was so bad. Hey, sorry I breaked you. You're both shit at single player games. You don't play them. I come in there and I play these GameCube games and I'm like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And I see the Matrix code and you guys are like, whoa. It is incredible. It's like an art form. I came in one time while they were recording the GameCube Explorer show and they were, I don't know. I don't even know what you're playing. But the level is like laid out. They're in one room and Slime is like, this is what's going to happen. We're going to find this. This door's going to open. The enemy's going to proc like this and then we're going to go through the next door like this. I've never played this game. And then he's never played or seen this game. All of it happens. I was like, how did you know? Just an artist with his brush. How did you know? I can only play like two, three video games. Yeah, I was, I've been playing Kingdom Hearts with Cutie and I realized she just doesn't fucking like the game at all. Oh no. Like, is she on her phone while you play and you're like, this is the part. She's not actually on her phone, but like we pass off every death, but she doesn't like, like, I don't, I really shouldn't like any aspect of it because like, she'll like the boss fights because the boss fights are like challenging or restrictive in some ways. She's like, yeah, you do that. And then she doesn't like backtracking. And I'm like, well, okay, the map is the map. You know, you got to travel around the map and then she doesn't like, you know, the quest line aspect. She doesn't like the movement. And I'm sitting there, what are you, what do you like? And I think the answer is she just kind of likes the cut scenes with the Disney characters. Yeah. Yeah. And so really, it's just a vehicle for me. But even though, she's not picking up the story. I made a joke. I was like, good luck explaining fucking Xemnas to her, bro. Cause it's not going to happen. What if you give her the controller just during the cut scenes and she could act like she's the conversation. But I don't even think she hates the gummy ship. Normal people don't like the gummy ship. I mean, that's fair. But it's tough. It's tough. It's tough when she doesn't like the other ship. It's tough when you don't like it. Cause you're usually like, oh, the gummy ship, you just get through it. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Has the game aged well? Yes. Like Kingdom Hearts 1? Kingdom Hearts 1 is a very slow start. Regigigas-esque. It's fine. Kingdom Hearts 2 has aged way, not, I wouldn't need to say way better, but it's, it's, it's the melee of the games. You don't start with, you don't start with Cure. You don't start with Dodge Roll. You don't start with Scans. You can't even see the enemy's health bars. You get them quick, man. I mean, quick is like that's a little off. That's a little long Kingdom Hearts 2 Is also a motherfucker About this For You rocks us for five hours Kill yourself Yeah but that's cute That's a charming intro It's a charming prologue You don't get it It's a charming prologue And it has the best music Of any Kingdom Hearts Region Twilight Town Has the best music It's good music But it's It's relaxed We relax What was I gonna say About that Oh my god I played My girlfriend got back From her trip home And she was really sick And she was like Begging me to hang out And I'm like Dude shut up Shut up I'm so tired of you But no I was like I was like Can't you just say butto That isn't like salvaging Moving on Butto No I thought it was good She was like Can we play some games Or something I'm like yeah And I was like Do you wanna play Fortnite I kinda just had this Like hankering Yeah And so I fire up Fortnite I buy iShowSpeed I'm iShowSpeed You can be iShowSpeed Yeah I shouldn't be surprised anymore I'm sorry I shouldn't be So I'm Speed She's a default skin I tried to gift her Like money for a skin Because she hasn't logged Into her Fortnite account In like years It can't It wouldn't let me It's like a scam protection Like in three days This user can accept money And gifts Like I can't even gift her Fucking She can't be Kai Sinat I can't be iShowSpeed And so But we play Dude She sucks so bad I was like It was the That's crazy Because she's played Warzone I know I couldn't get it But she would just be In a skirmish And just Absolutely throw up On herself And I'm like Just crawling around And I'm like God You have to clutch this one You have to clutch it And she goes And a shotgun Just blows her head off Like a cantaloupe Wait you didn't win Any of your bot games? We won the first one Okay okay We won the first one And then they started Putting us against real people And it was a little harder Yeah it was no build And so But it was really fun Is it still Springfield? No no no Oh okay Yeah I'm glad it was fun It was Because I'm like Fortnite still hits If you were like She wanted to play video games I'm the one who suggested Fortnite She was shit I had a bad time No no no no It was I'm making a joke about that But it was like It was fun to sit and play Like we just kept playing games We're like We gotta get back the fuck in there You know And it's still good Non-gamer GF Has recently been Because Because our girlfriends hang out And so they talk about Playing video games And they've Convinced my girlfriend To play video games Yeah your girlfriend famously Like didn't know What Melee was She didn't know What Twitch was That's fucking crazy You should teach her Like Sudoku Sudoku? She loves that shit I know She'll get behind that shit I'll teach her about the ring You know about the Sudoku ring? There's like a hidden secret In Sudoku If she wants to get pregnant She can get pregnant though She will What is the hidden Sudoku ring? What the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? There's like a There's like a cool Like mathematic print Do you guys actually care? Yeah yeah yeah Are you gonna snore a sound? I think if you Start being boring I'll let you know So it's your job To be interesting There's like a There's like a Mathematic principle In Sudoku That like basically States that like The numbers that are A ring around the center Will like always be A very specific number Like it'll always be the same What number? No it's like It contained like Yeah this The fistamal The fistamal Fistamafel ring That's a crazy name It's crazy Fist ring I watched the whole thing Breaking down how it works You're third Shut up I feel like you watch the video But you don't even know How to fucking explain this shit No but it's just like If you're into Sudoku You get it I don't know I should've asked Fanfan Is it a way to beat it faster? In some cases Cause she's Asian? Cause she said she likes Sudoku She said she played it You fucking idiot You were there Why did you say that? Cause I didn't know This information You guys knew You were there I wasn't there She was You couldn't find a clip of it You couldn't find a clip of it I wasn't there Just please play it Why Sudoku? Can I ask? I don't know I think it's like an Asian Thing I just like numbers So I feel that too sometimes You're just Having a very Chinese time In your life I know I just I've always loved numbers It's weird Just play any clip Above his head Anything Anything We've been playing Baba is you We tried it And I was like It's too hard I don't need more It gets real hard bro You're gonna get to float And float's too hard Zipper laugh How far are you? Not very far Yeah You're not at float yet Cause float's too hard Cause they're fun though They start off really fun They do start off really fun It's kind of like the witness The witness The big filter in that Is the greenhouse A lot of people get to the greenhouse Like you know what But is the witness I played the witness for Six hours Is the witness The game you played With my little brother? No That was Six minutes That was tummy sticks That was You fucked your little brother That was raspberry First to cry for raspberry wins Dude And I Could not lose that night Hot streak You gotta respect the hot streak He likes to giggle Can't think of himself As a giggly old brother dude I can't wait to be his uncle You should talk to your family About that shit dude That was fucked up Like he did that Not ticklish on the armpits Wood No armpits or feet for that guy Tummy Interesting All tummy It's interesting It's interesting It's unique It's unique So your girlfriend Started to play games? No that's good Laughter Yeah we just been on We got on Ascension 20 Slay the Spy Runs It's getting sweaty in this bitch Dude That's pretty crazy You're the Crimson Blur You guys are turning into A hardcore gamer couple I feel like Yeah She's into it now She's playing Dark Souls Took long enough I know With the ten fucking years Took long enough Like she's being converted We went to brunch Who? Me and Cutie With Who the fuck is Cutie? My girlfriend Oh Breathtaking woman Oh so you're seeing someone? Yes Who's this bitch Messaging you? She's my girl Oh my god You got brunch with her You're on the side You know this You'll stay on the side Okay so you're hanging out With some bitch You'll complete my seat And that's enough You're all using the same All using the same seat And And we go to brunch And we're just like a little It's like a little double date With her Her normie friends And Oh And We go to brunch First off we get there The brunch is 21 plus I don't have my ID Okay 21 plus 21 plus brunch Yes Mimosas bitch Is there like a DJ? They just have like Like a bar that's open Oh so you got in You can order You don't have to show your ID At the bar No no no Yeah but I had to Fucking bring an ID Even though I didn't drink So I had to turn around So we end up being like 30 minutes late That's not normal for you You're not used to how that feels He hates being late Honestly Oh my god it's the new year You came here late You piece of shit I wasn't late today Yes you fucking were It was 11 It was supposed to be You said 11 start You rolled it At 11 10 Kill yourself I did not roll it at 11 10 It's 20 26 Look at the cameras You are off by You are so Is there anything that happened Christian Christian can vouch Someone can do something You are so off I haven't been able to do this In fucking three months We have a security camera It's time By the way you're not allowed To complain about me being late For a year No it was until the end of the year You piece of shit Archie rolled a clip I swear to Jesus Christ So anyway for the rest of the year You can't be mean to me For being late A year You misunderstood It's not what you said Oh it's an important distinction We should figure that out This is a very important distinction It's just not what you said It's to the end of the year You said it multiple times Anyway You're at brunch You fuck everything up You're always fucking late You're 30 minutes late Which you never are We're at the brunch I'm never late Okay and then And then you know Cutie's friend is like Ludwig so like What do you do on Twitch Like I don't really know What it is And before I can say anything Cutie chimes in And she just goes He's a lol cow Oh yeah And they And they don't know What that means Dude You're a cuck And And hold up That's different No you're a cuck Oh why am I a cuck now And a lol cow Because your girlfriend She zips your lips And she goes He's a lol cow And then she goes She goes eat up lol cow And she goes And you go And then she just puts the Puts the spoon in your mouth Anyway for the rest of the year You can't be mean to me For being late Wow Zipper Shout out Shout out Yard Search Zipper you don't gotta Pull fucking stats And information Like who gives a shit about all this Oh god I feel so fucking good Oh god So is that where it ended Yeah so you're like Yeah so then after I just started grazing I guess On fucking grass Well that makes sense You were chewing your cud Cause you're a lol cow Did she sit there and explain What a lol cow was No Wait really They were just glossed over it They were just like They were just like They didn't learn what that meant No they were none the wiser Did they care They're like oh And just drank seven mimosas I think it was Like she went Skommel And then I continued like Oh actually I play Minecraft She might as well have yelled out Like you know A German word It didn't really register With the group Do you think that you've Become a lol cow Um No Stole my shit for sure Oh no It's all you talk about bro It's your fucking fan base Is on Twitter Talking about how big Of a lol cow you are No Where did this come from Me Imitating low tier god Mostly Jelly wig Fucking lol cow Jelly wig Fucking lol cow Fucking coal one Fucking No And I think I think Um I think when I prove them wrong And I get my revenge on them They won't be talking so loudly Oh yeah Her friends What does that mean When they Judy's friends When they see what I do To them Right They won't be so loud about it That's cool Okay Sweetheart You're spending a lot of time Making doom maps Huh Yeah Yeah Just Why does that Why does it look like your school They'll see It's just a map I made from memory But they'll see From memory. i did i i i watch your stream these days especially in that fucked up weird insane pocket dimension that you stream from but it's like you're saying like i want to show them all i'm the i'm the pettiest motherfucker you know i want to show them all i'll show them all and uh i think it is a good motivator but it's not going to fulfill you is this your only i don't need to be so you want to be a better i just need to be moving you want to be a better gamer in 2026 yes bitch you have you have these goals i like that yes but surely you've something else oh you kind of implied that you had something else earlier besides gaming being your resolution for 2026 i want to do a handstand we can do that like right now for 30 seconds knock that one out these are the resolutions of like an eight-year-old dude yes i want to do a cartwheel and i want to play video games and i want to be the best minecraft more minecraft i want to do a handstand for 30 seconds or a handstand push-up okay what is it then both okay yay both okay that's cool i can't do a handstand that's beast oh and we gotta hit platt together butt ass maybe come on you gotta hit it come on motherfucker you gotta hit it first what are you talking about so i have to hit it and then we hit it again we'll both be in lane we will be in a normal playing field i'll be ahead of you the issue is you right now have never shown the ability to hit platt right but neither have you in mid lane i've shown the ability to hit platt oh my god i don't know man so i have to sit there and get platt and then do it again with you yeah because like you are does he need a new account or did he wait i would have to get a new account right now you're like 200 games away from platt or something whatever it is whatever it is and like if we were to be trapped in a room like we they wouldn't be feasible to do it in that time you like you need to have the ability to do it you've never been like in the middle and i've done it i uh do you see how it's twice all right you know what you're right you're right i think you're right i'll hit platt first and then we'll do it again and i wish for the love of god i remembered who this was but i was talking to somebody who is a good at league and they told me that jungle is the hardest role to climb it they all have different fucking opinions it is and and you know who will tell you opposite who laners yeah right like what what is what is the hardest thing the thing that i do the thing that i do is the hardest i'll hit platt in jungle and then we'll go to the lane that's fine that sounds good that would be that would be okay with me it's easier if you're good at jungle i'll hit platt in jungle and then we'll go to the lane that's fine that's which i am uh a rude awakening in three two wait why don't it should be shouldn't it be you guys you push to platt and then you guys duo to emerald or something or is it a race that's a little much i i i think realistically like the goal of doing to platt would be to do it in a new environment what's the point of you guys doing the platt the idea it's either way we either duo or we play against each other but i really want to be locked in a room for a week or longer but on the same seat uh on the same seat in different realms very very much because i think it'd be really fun and it's it's truly is a way for me to be me and aiden will do the same thing with a different game it would be amazing and it wouldn't be alex you guys well you know what i always wanted to do was the time you you brought up playing halo together i've never played through halo oh my god you guys would get in the warthog that'd be so fun we could do the vidmaster challenges that would be fun it's like a series of challenges for in halo 3 and i think somewhere in odst i don't remember but um so back in the day when you played halo the only way to get recon armor was to make it on bungee favorites uh which was like the page in the game where like they posted the funniest screenshots that people would take in whatever um you couldn't get it you couldn't unlock it like in the game um you had to get gifted it by an employee or whatever um until odst came out or reach whichever one it was i get those confused but they came out with a series of challenges and if you did all of them you got recon in halo 3 um and they're pretty hard at least they were when i was in they're quite hard freshman year in high school um but yeah it's like it's like be one of the maps without ever getting out of your ghost like like your vehicle and if it blows up you it also counts as getting out and you can't get anyone you lose um you think i could do that you Firefight with like all these skulls activated so it's like headshot only and like all this shit. No I don't. No definitely not. I wasn't fucking asking you. I'll tell you the answer though. Your girlfriend called you a lolcow in front of her friends. In front of normal people. I did it when I was 15 so we could do it in our 30s. Right. You should do that I would love it. Just two 30 year old guys. Just kick him back. On the same halo seat. And on one shot. You one shot it. We don't leave the room until. Wow. Hold on stay still. Hey. Who is she? And now. I want to do a stream where I play every Call of Duty campaign. You guys ever see weapons? Okay. Um that's it. I have not seen weapons. No I haven't. I saw the uh. That one's for you. The talented Mr. Ripley. That's like that. It's the same thing pretty much. It sounds similar. I had a thought earlier real quick before we get back to the video game thing is could Mr. Beast assemble a football team that was just the best? With all his money. He's spent all the money. Where? In what division? I don't think he has that bro. In college? No. NFL? NFL. No. He doesn't have enough money. Why? Because. If you buy the players. Because. Buy them. Because there's a salary cap and it's less about like having money and it's more about how effective you are using it. What if he was like I'm Mr. Beast and I can put you. I'll put you all in a box and give you. Yeah. What if he did that? I don't think like and I'm just shooting from the hip here. I don't think like a professional NFL player making like 300 million cares. Mr. Beast. 300 million Mr. Beast. No that is. Now. Dinner. Here's what he could do. Dinner for Mr. Beast. That's dinner and a few naked models to eat it off of. I'm going to give you credit here. For Jimmy. You seen the penis picture dude? It's big as fuck. It's fucking big as fuck. What is it? It hangs. Okay. Because there's a guy who theorized about him doing this with ECU East Carolina University. Small college. It's the college he uses for farming for his videos. Yeah. Farming for his vids. Yeah. And he could make their college football program probably top 25 in the country. Just inject crazy amounts of money. Doubting. Yes. Just scholarships and shit. Doubting scholarships. Like for players? You don't need scholarships anymore. You just pay them directly. I just meant like you just find the best players. You give them full rides and you fucking. You don't even give. That's not about full. I don't care about full rides. They want 10 million dollars. They get that in college? Oh because then you get comps now right? Yes. Yes. They're allowed now to be paid to be college athletes. They changed the law. They just get paid. Oh my god. For a long time though they were playing for nothing. Imagine you were a fucking D1 college fucking like MVP. Didn't make it to NFL but it was before the rule. The year before. Oh my god. You're so mad. Or imagine imagine you're Reggie Bush. You're the best college player in the country. You won the Heisman but they gave you a free car and like rent worth 80k and then they stripped you of your Heisman trophy. They stripped. They took it away from you and now kids are making 20 times that much. Oh and they're drop shipping now. And they're drop shipping as well. Oh my god. They're making mouse pads that you can't even taste. Dude there's more millionaire 15 year olds now than there ever has been ever. Yes. That's crazy. Actually Miles did a sprinter interview that he told me about and I don't want to sell out the business but this guy he found a guy. He's being awful in game. Interviews him after and he keeps bragging. Like keeps deflecting and bringing up the fact that he mogs him with his money. Okay. Like I just I make 150k a month. I make 150k a month. Kill yourself. Like that type of shit. Yes. And Miles just just neos his way through the conversation and starts asking him like personal like genuine personal questions. This guy drop ships a pet product and markets it on Facebook and Instagram and just makes like made the whole website with AI made fake AI videos and then just makes like fake health claims about the product and he makes 150k a month. So he says this guy. You think you're convinced? He showed Miles the back end like the Shopify back end of what he makes and then he showed him the website and it's real and then I brought up the brand with a I just told this story to a random friend and said this is the brand that this guy runs. And they were like, oh my God, I see that on Facebook all the time. League the brand because I can't I can't. That guy said the N word in a league game, bro. We're not we're not putting him on a pedestal. We're not giving him more money. It's not about that. It's about getting sales. Someone with a racist viewer with a pet will say that's for me and that's another sale to that guy. You're on the opposite end of this. I think if the if it leaked like maybe that guy loses this project. Oh, that'd be fun. Oh, then we should do it. No, I don't want to sell. I'm telling you guys this in confidence. I'm going to get miles to tell me and then I'm going to say it on the show next week. So it'll be not that it will not be my it will not be my responsibility. It would be yours. I can't believe you want to protect a racist guy. I didn't say he was racist, but you want to protect his business and say he was he why do you think he was getting a sprint review? Nothing miles said about this guy implied he was racist. He was just me. I think you made up the racist. You made it up the racist thing. It was if you're if you're a terrorist, you're a terrorist in League enough to get miles to interview. You have to be probably a racist. You probably are. All you do is play League all day. You drop ship. Yeah. Yeah, you're fucking really woke fucking kill yourself. Well, the guy that's he's woke. I'm just I don't I'm not burning my journalistic bridge. That's fair because I learned journalist. I learned all of this in confidence. So I can't I that's fair. The guy who uploads 10-hour videos of fireplaces makes a million dollars on those. Yeah, see that fucking post what he makes like a hundred million yeah the one video of 10 hours of a fireplace that's what what those numbers you don't believe them those are fake numbers you think dexerto isn't a isn't a charitable or a genuine uh journalist one of the worst reputable one of the worst you're fucking kidding i think all they did is they looked at the social blade expected earnings and then just posted that and that's like that the range is absurdly high and the numbers are pretty off i mean they're just making twitter posts they're not but you know they could make mint sure you know who makes a lot lo-fi girl oh my goodness well that's a business now didn't they get purchased run by a man they don't get purchased run by probably by another man it's not run by a lo-fi boy no it's run by a man it's a big old chud forgot me for christmas she has these really like crazy coffee beans because i'm obviously a coffee man now and has a bear on it right stone town coffee of course not and and she's like look it's a bear and i'm like oh cool and these beans and it's like and it says like woman owned i'm like you and i'm like all right let's give these fuckers a shot best pour over i've ever had in my life my god they can fucking grow some those women can grow some fucking beans but it's funny it says it all there's a bear and women owned i guess and i guess that it's it's funny to me that you're a all protein bars taste good in the same to me guy and also a coffee is different i can tell the difference and i have preference and taste in coffee those things that battle me in my difference is that i can drink instant coffee slop and still be like fine with it i'm not like oh that's too much for me like i can i can appreciate the whole range of the world i love i love joe i don't like the middle range i don't like the coffee that's trying to be good that isn't but i'm i like bad coffee sure you know i'll take like a hotel coffee or like a gas station a keurig but i don't i don't want the starbucks's of the world that's like we're premium and it's like no you're not this the um do this it's the sincerity of it yeah it's like this is slop and this is big shit doesn't insist upon itself that's right oh my god you guys zipper away is it time i thought is it sometimes it still happens sometimes okay well if you got to poop go poop buddy i'll hold it we still have like seven minutes i think oh that's so mean of you that had base still going that is so gross five to ten more did you make it smell or not why did i did i did that's so mean of you bro do that i can't stop it but what if you definitely forced it he loudly sniffed that picked up no it didn't you wanted to try it i want it doesn't smell okay so you don't know if you lost my powers oh my gosh oh my god this thing just took it away from me it's like uh edge of tomorrow when tom cruise loses his blood it's like that it's like edge of tomorrow it doesn't smell i promise you yeah i would never do this i'm not gonna check i mean i can't there's no value i would never do this do you trust me i can't i can't smell anything i don't smell anything it doesn't smell i would never do this no value no politic here no politic here i'm okay breathing my own musk elon shit okay it does smell put it up put it up put it up no it's crazy it smells like popcorn dude i don't know why it's so good to be back with you guys i'm just so excited to be back i needed this i wasn't late dude you're fucking late bitch i wasn't when did i show up when did i show up later than me so you showed up late one minute so then why is the pot talking to me because the pot is talking to a bigger pot that's not how it works pot friend pot's a pot make me stop pot's a pot make me stop it i'll fucking kill you bro you can't do shit and the bronchies are gonna win the super bowl you're so done if the bronchies don't win i'll punch you in the stomach but you guys need a competition with each other this year i think that's why i want to get butt at some sort of goal but that's together it could be against each other i like it against it's better if it's against i think so too because together it doesn't really it's just a there should be a wheel spin where you play the next game together that's kind of funny i like that here's the fucking deal bro what's the deal historically it doesn't end well for him it's true yeah but this could be the difference this could be the time what when does it not end well for him in the competition the 1v1 yeah yeah between the two of you yeah every time we like go head to head he always just wins out because i tilt and he stays cool what are the example melee i think yeah melee stuff like that i i i think he's right and but i i go in armed with this knowledge in an arena where i feel confident like something like league of legends yeah and i i'm like you know what and ludwig's in lane he's in lane he hasn't placed a ward in 40 minutes dude right i would love to see y'all hit play in jungle i easily uh incoming games 400 550 later gold one like not gonna be a fun journey for y'all i do jungle your way to platz that you guys can do i think i think i'll just fucking send it once this new season starts before i can't bring myself to open that fucking game dude you know what i realized too is i was playing a little bit and i was like let me see how it feels and i would play some games and i didn't feel the need to queue up again which is i was like oh i guess i am actually free without the goal i'm like meh yeah it's interesting but i get that the average player has the goal constantly yeah either the goal keeps increasing but i think like if you're able to feel satisfied being a top 65 player that's really good yeah yeah that is gold top 65 uh 75 for the lowest rank probably but but but it's in there i had three that's a little higher but it's in there uh i actually don't know what the breakdown i think gold is yeah i think it's top 70 that's no it's gotta be higher than that no because platz top 50 or no actually wait that's gotta be way higher than 50 no in league it is higher i think that's like top 30 or something and i think gold's 30 of players so top 60 maybe it's a tough game what can you do what can you do the fuck about valorant right guys what happened to that game dude no one plays it but people play it people do play it but no one plays it people don't be playing it anymore like no one we know plays it go down 22 percent yeah so i think it's i think it's top 55 percent then right 30 oh i see what they're doing 52 you have to add it all wait so top 48 top 48 top 48 if you're old damn i'm awesome there you go top half yeah man top half of players no one could take that away from you and nobody and i've always said you're the great um i said you're great and i like that real quick before we wrap up aiden what thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you well uh thank you thank you at the end of last year i had a scary moment where i thought i was gonna have to say it because we couldn't get a customer his merchandise did he get it can is it where can you play the video dear ludwig may this be my final video because you promised me that on the 24th i would have my merch and well you kept your promise pal dude i can't believe it oh my god dude his name on hashtag is ran through for hashtag thank you hashtag ludwig hashtag promise hashtag viral wow so thank you fucking salute that soldier man you're welcome you're welcome i thank you for me and ran through i'm a little sad because it would have mean it it would have all been over and you were excited for that and i would have been free but you would have been free it's like when the client goes down you don't have to queue again hey man if you still want to make that video and just send it to me i'll accept it all right guys welcome to the new year and welcome to new welcome to new beer that your dad is drinking your dad's an alcoholic i'm sorry to tell you that oh yep and if you don't click on the patreon episode right now he's gonna hit you really hard i gotta go poop and we'll see you in the bonus