The group shares a humorous yet heartfelt account of a norovirus outbreak that occurred around the holiday season. They describe severe physical symptoms, including intense shivering, body aches, and extreme cold, despite using multiple heated blankets. The outbreak appears to have been contracted during a shared Christmas dinner, though one member suggests exposure to a Japanese restaurant as a possible origin. The stories blend personal anecdotes—like a painful incident with Chibo salmon and a bidet that saved their bottom from injury—with surreal hallucinations and inside jokes, such as dreaming of being strangled by blankets or a "bubble man" in a bathroom stall. The group bonds through their shared suffering, forming a sense of camaraderie while joking about the absurdity of their experiences. Amid the chaos, they reflect on personal habits, like avoiding certain foods or refusing to discuss their bowel movements, and offer light-hearted commentary on gifts, friendship contracts, and future resolutions. The episode ends on a warm, self-deprecating note, celebrating their resilience and the unfiltered honesty that defines their dynamic.
that's right they're dead I'm just kidding they're not I wish Aiden was though I would do anything to end his life in front of you all But it's the holiday season and me and slime worked on a music video So for the lads tricky Mac and Benny T. We've talked about them a lot in the show Yep, we flew to Australia and paid five figures upwards to shoot a music video for some guys that we thought were really funny And I think came out pretty well and we have a big-ass channel So we're basically using that to shovel it into your mouth We want to shovel what the slop we made into your mouth and it's a good song and enjoy this holiday season I guess you're all executive producers. We didn't list them. Yeah, you're executive producers Nick's a director Dan Nigerians a director, and I helped. Yeah, shout out to Dan Life lifelong mentor directly video with me and all our friends who went out there and all the Australian crew Anyway, back to the art episode. Please go watch it link will be somewhere arch you handle that and goodbye I thought you had a crazy gut bio I did too. Yeah, I don't know what the bottom the bottom of a low-cal four-stumics. I This is never are we own dude. This has never I was talking about it in the group chat The group chat is so funny because it's a man standing there T posing just being like how's everyone doing because he's just in in penitor. Well nothing happened to him and we're just describing like being chased by race like for a forest and like Shooting I think I I've sat got up shit sat down got up on the toilet. I think 35 times in the past. I'm a crush a number. I do you hallucinate. I Had I'll listen to it. I felt like I know I didn't but it was like I was I was just moaning. I was A lot of moaning. Yeah, I didn't moan. I'm gonna be honest. There's one comment I think I've last week's episode and the person was like you guys have talked about pooping so explicitly way too much and I'm gonna be honest if you feel that way going into our lovely Christmas episode right now This is not the episode very Christmas Wonder what's going on three of us have food poisoning and Aiden does not have food poisoning That's right. Cronam. It's another poop episode, but this one is more medicinal because we don't need to talk about our poop But we we it was the mogul moves Christmas dinner gentlemen. Let me actually stop you there. Okay, stop me here Stop me with your hands - I don't think we got food poisoning I Don't think what we are suffering from is food poisoning. Why? This is what I said. What are you talking about? Well What possibly could have made my ass to do what it has done. It's called your ass. It's called a norovirus And it's going around a Los Angeles Is that one of those crazy massages? Yes Japanese women let me let me working at a salvage who's a sprang the North virus We know that's been going around. Let me put you on to something. I learned you can get norovirus from food Sure, and they still consider it food poison 100% is it so norovirus is a stomach thing Norovirus is a thing that would upset your tummy give you her neck give you the chills give you maybe a high temperature Here let me explain, but you know what I'm saying all this. Why is that? Weeks is also sick Who care who asked the same thing we got it from you? No, we got it from you What you guys are patient zero out how because because okay, so let me back up a mess it out I have a theory once you're done for the unaflected the truly impartial party So I wait to hear with the judge literally no one asked judge So it's totally different I'm on side judge your bitch. You all think your wife Fucking CIA funded stomach like mine Pinnitrable iron dome my stomach. I want it. Yeah I do want to cover it in some sort of edible Do anything for not change that we all think your wife looks like a bed Like a bed of a woman. I'll say that. Yes. Your your wife looks like snap on two-bots Judge your honor sustained What's your theorist well squeaks and I must have got at the same time Because we spent a whole week together. Yeah, but why didn't it activate us have been at the tail end It must have been after the marathon is over. Why didn't activate? Huh because we got it. I'm saying after it was over Counter to this my symptoms are a day behind both yours. Yeah, he's let he's glad you guys really hitting your brains out a whole day before me bad ping Bad ping bro. You got apt maybe I think my theory my theory is better. Okay Okay, go back with me. We're going back to the year 2021 You're Ludwig. You're looking for a nice restaurant before after the subathon I think it must have been after maybe it wasn't 22 to be honest You're looking for a nice restaurant. You search Japanese on Yelp and you sort by most dollar signs You find a restaurant as I found the spot you love Japan you go This lines up perfectly you like with me and you go to the restaurant you show all your friends everything so great We're full of wonder and joy reading all sorts of awesome meat fast forward the years 2023 you take your friends again You still love Japan. You also meat filling you the brim with joy years 2025 You're Chinese now I am You go to the restaurant You show all your friends China's revenge I know what you're thinking with my theory. Why did a didn't not get sick? Aiden is already Chinese Aiden has actually remained staunchly Chinese Chinese the whole time the entire double negative Double Chinese cancels each other out, but what about Christian did Christian get sick? No, but he also is famously anti-Chinese Christians famously anti-Chinese famously. Yeah, let's do your back to doing it back to doing what? Working in the working class the working class stories all you're all you're pointing to is our house You're twisting the working class stories from in there from inside our house inside here I mean is it sure you know what I'll say I'll I'll I'll can see this ground. It's not my story to tell But you get him dude you get Christian talking about them down Huawei phones and Oh my god He tried to break my lap. You said breathe. It's just by the she walked in like it was the great He just has a fucking hammer over it Do you know how many weather balloons are floating up of us right now? That's him. Oh my god That's Christian, Chris. These suits are made for rockin. They're toast to night. Is it breaking you pose to put the picture up? I put in the group chat. Is it a picture of your poop? No, please not that would just be I think that's off limits this week. It's cruel Yeah, we've been doing what wouldn't you do it deal? What kind of questions? But is this is the basketball bouncy brother man? I can't Express okay, I haven't been this thing. Here's why so food poisoning. I don't really understand it very well Most things I don't understand very well, but one time I got mild food poisoning from this place called Chibo Because I used to order the salmon there and I would get the salmon from Chibo Yeah, and I'd eat it yeah, and it poisoned me once Wait, but at that time didn't you get it delivered? Yeah, I always yeah. Yeah delivered Chibo Sam and like a really ex multiply that you delivered poison to your house like a polatro joker. Yeah Well, I delivered a vessel for poison. Yeah, so I eat the salmon to poisons me I say you know what fairs fairs sometimes it happens. I keep eating Chibo. I like it Yeah, you know, this is actually impressive because most people when they get food poison get food aversion to what gave them the poison I present is a very I know but that's what I'm so much like this happened to me when I was a kid I got food poisoning. I didn't like ground meat for years Because I got it's what I got it. This is a normal thing. Okay, so it's funny that you go fucking probably next day But I was like, you know what look who am I am I got one bad experience, you know, I so I keep a healthy mindset I'll get food poisoning again. Yeah, oh my god twice. Yes, and this time it like I felt like okay I got chills, but it was like one day and it wasn't that bad and I was like that's food poisoning. I'm not doing that again Fast forward we get this again I'm like in that the Friday after the mogul moves dinner. I was like I feel kind of like that Chibo day And I was like kind of I was at the office was walking around I was like I feel kind of off Everything should be okay though. I feel cheap on ease Come Friday night that night. I was like Dude, I I've never I would trade anything in my life to never feel that way again. Yeah, it was I was Nick was explaining it to you But I was underneath I have a 20 pound like autism heated blanket that goes up to four It goes one four high. I know you know one of those I do. I love it and I For a while and I put it on oh, I bet I told you but remember I put it on for a while I don't remember see your back when he said it. He said earlier. Sorry to cut you off. Please earlier. I'm I the snowman costumes on my chair
he walks up and he goes, "Can I have a snowman costume?" And I go, and I go, "What's wrong with this one?" He goes, "I don't want to wear this one." And I'm trying to play. I'm like, "Oh, you don't like it." You like the brown costume. And he goes, "I'm thinking about this one. "Can I have a snowman costume all day?" - I have. - Please let me, I've been thinking about it all day. - This guy's rich today. Yesterday, he's like, "No, I got costumes like a snowman "and an elephant stuff." And he was like, "Ooh, snowman." - And I like, he didn't mention this to anyone, but in his head, he's been fixated on the snowman. - Yeah, this is not my snowman. - So I'm gonna do snowman. So you're under your weighted blanket. And that's what. - It's turned up to four. I have two more blankets on top. And I'm freezing. And I have a heat on like 75. And I'm freezing. And I can't get warm. And I'm just shaking. And I'm aching. And I'm like, "I'm just like swimming." - We had the same night. - In hell. - Yeah. - And I was like, "This is the worst shit." And then sometimes it was poop time. And so I was like, "Just shivering." And I'm alone in the house. There's so much colder when you get up to walk to the bathroom. - So cold, bro. - And I'm just like, "Okay, okay, it's time to go." And I would just say that. I would just say that to myself. Because I already have verbal effects. - I'm a lot of my girlfriends back home. - I'm like, "Guess I'm a fucking little guy that has to go." And I would say like, "Clockwork, it gets time to go, time to go, time to go." And I'm like, "Hiping myself up because it's freezing, bro." - Dude, the first steps are so cold. - What? The steps are so cold. - And I'm wearing, I'm wearing much like this. I'm wearing a hoodie and sweat pants. And the hoodie is like on. And it's like this. And I'm like, "Time to go." And I get up. And I sit on the toilet. Water comes out of my butt. And I'm like, "Gah, I'm a day." And the bidet save my life by the way. Jesus Christ. - Shout out to the fuck out, dude. - Literally having this bidet has been. Dude, I'm still getting 12 wipes. You know what that? With my bidet, I'm still wiping up the 12 times. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - What is that about? - You can get put in the back of your balls. - It's a whole thing, basically. But yeah. And so, and I have like, you know, it's a soft toilet paper in the bidet. And I was like, if I didn't have this, this creature comfort of $30, not a lot of money. You just get a bidet, put it on your toilet. And I was like, my ass would be basically just bleeding. My ass would look like a. - Dude. - Like the Joker's face. - Yeah. - This is not a bidet. That's crazy. - That's crazy. - Yeah, I gave him one, though. - He's scared? He's like, I gave him one, but apparently he can't install it in New York. It doesn't fit with the New York toilet. - Something, yeah, they're a small bathroom's in shape. Apparently, I don't know. He said it and felt confident enough that he's, it's like. - I feel like. - This is an untapped market. I feel like someone's made it. - I mean, not yours. - He has a small, you can find a solution. - So, he's a swollen red? - Yes. - Sensitive? - His asshole looks like Darth Maul, yes. - Yes. - Spikes and all. - Dude, laughing despite my fever. - Oh, good. That's crazy. - Good. Welcome to work, bitch. - Yeah. - Okay, so I'm doing that and I'm like, okay, it's on. And like, so. - And then you get back into the picture. - I'm shivering. And I'm shivering. And so, I take Tylenol. And I'm like, Tylenol, it'll fix it, Tylenol. - Oh my god. And that's why you needed the blanket, the way to blanket. - What are you talking about? - Tylenol. - It's circular. - I was like, so I take Tylenol and I feel better. It solves the body aches in the ship. And I felt like, oh my god, I'm back. I still shit water, but everything is okay. I'm gonna watch movies. So I start watching Magnolia, two and a half hour movie. And then halfway through Magnolia, the Tylenol wears off. And I'm like, oh, and I'm putting more blankets on. And it was this fucking hell, bro. - This is all Friday? - This was all Friday, right? - This was Friday Day, Saturday night. That Friday day through Saturday night. - Oh my god. - And yesterday I woke up and I was back. I was back to the world of living, still water in my butt. But now it's like getting solidar. It's like, I was explaining it's a Y equals MX+B situation, where it will become solid on a linear scale. And I'll be happy about that. - Of course. - And it's fucked up. Man, you fucked me up, literally. - Where are you at? - I'm still, like, I feel fine. Like my head, my mental's gray. Like, I'm all there. I can fucking, I could figure out triangulation of a stronghold in Minecraft. - Okay. - First try. I feel like you couldn't even do that without. - You, fuck you. - No, no, no. - You look at the eye of Ender. You get your degrees, turn left, 90 degrees. Four long jumps. Look at the new eye of Ender. Do the difference of the angles. - Right. - Right. - Okay, divide that by a thousand. - And Kido, we're all very proud. - I love you. - And I can nail that right now. - And whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do, we'll support you no matter what. - I want to kill him. - And maybe you got to do multiple things. - Can I kill him? - For one of my things? - You should do school at the same time. You should finish school. - You've got to finish school. - And close instead of the ones that you kill me every day. - But this is nice. - We take it to Target. - I look good. - Enders, bro. When you say it, when you say it, dinner, you're like, "Tell him how you make money doing that." - Like someone's son meeting Ludwig. "Tell him how you make money doing with the YouTube." - With the game. - It is. - I don't know how you do that. - What are you saying that to? - I don't know, it's a big, awesome bit. - I love, because my perspective of this, you know, I'm cruising. I'm living my normal life. - Oh, we know you're driving. But every day in the group chat, at 1.30 in the morning, you guys will all check in. You'll do a bad man check in in the chat. And for the past four nights or three nights. - Well, I mean, I think I mean, it's always at 1.30 AM. It's one of you goes, I'm squirtin' crazy right now. - And then two guys, two guys hop in to say how they're- - It's like, viscosity's a four, pH or out of six. - And then do you feel a little left out? - Well, I think I took the first stab, because we were all going through this isolated. None of us knew we had it. And so I took the first stab. I was like, how's everyone feeling? Is anyone feeling any type of way? And that's when I felt camaraderie for the first time. - Yeah, because you were like, I'm shitin' crazy. - Because I was shitin' crazy. - Yeah. - And I went through a similar thing, except all I did was watch football. - Well, the first time I got- the first update I got from Ludwig's, I didn't know if he was sick. I actually sent him a text and just said, I'm shitting Ludwig, oh my god, it's broken. - How do you do that? - I don't know. - Wait, I know that you unscrewed it. I watched you unscrew it. - I didn't unscrew shit. - I watched you do it. - I think I just tried to unscrew it. - You guys love to victim blame. - I don't- - That's a fun thing to do. - You're a victim of what? - What are you the victim of? - The microphone fucking me. - Oh, a fuck. - Dude, the animate object fucked you. - It fucked me out. - That's like when he sat on the shampoo bottle. Now we're just gonna use two of you. - That fucked you. - Let's not bring my trauma in this fight. - Did that fuck you? - I mean, some would say I fuck it. - Was the tip, like, was the cap like tipped? - Was the cap- - Basically, the shampoo squirt up in your ass. - We already went over this. I'm not gonna go over it again, man. - It's a good question. - Do I need to use the york shirt? - Do people have to go back? - So many people probably haven't seen that app. - I'm not, it might have squirted a little bit. - Okay, so it's finished in you. That's fine. - It could have, it could have been free. - The L'Oreal finishes it into neck. - It's kind of sad. - The initials. - It's like you just, you have to get the towel for yourself, you know? - Yeah, the L'Oreal is a bad lover. - I gotta walk out of the shower. - I'm wet all over the bathroom. - Oh, wow, that folks found quail. - That was just a man. - He got cream pieed by a shampoo bottle. Oh, wow, that's a better joke. Damn, we used to be funny. Okay, so yeah, L'Oreal just said, "The restaurant has genuinely eliminated me. "I tap out my gut biome has been defeated." That was the first notice that I got that he was sick. And then, and then, yeah, and then everyone just- - You started with starting to spread. - Yeah, just describing shit. What did Nick say earlier today? "The antibiotic got my shit neon orange. "My shit smell like a dark secret." (laughing) - Dude, it smells so bad. - I was laying in bed. So Mike, my girlfriend's been taking care of me. Like, I'm a baby. - Oh boy, she's been taking care of me so good. And I'm laying in bed. I'm like, my stomach hurts. And she's like, "Okay, she comes in. "She's bringing me food." And she's like on the low. She's like spraying a for breeze bottle. (laughing) And I'm like, "Oh, man." I'm like, "What's that for? "What are you doing that for?" And she's like, "It smells like poop in here." I was like, "What? "You're a poopy little man." - Is it me? She was like, and she was like, usually she was like, "No, no, no, it's not you." She was like, "I don't know, is it you? "I don't know." She was wondering if I smelled like poop. And I'm like, "Maybe I do." Why is it maybe? It's not her. - No, but maybe it's him as a human. - Like the bathroom is in the same room. So if I pooped, it would leave up a Roma when you pooped. - But it could be leaking at this stage. It's like, you could be leaking directly. I'm wondering, it could just be me. I could be, I could be, I could, so much has been coming out. - I dropped the pill size far and it was like a, it was a weapon. It was a tactile weapon that destroyed a whole room. - Do they smell like sulfur? - Yeah. - It smells great. - It smells like the tarpings. - But like pure sulfur and nothing else. - No, if you, if you, if you could capture it in a glass bottle and then condense it, it would become the solid version of sulfur. - Yeah, like a science class. - That you could use in an orange. - I'd been thinking antibiotics and my shit is neon orange. - I think the antibiotics is a bad call. - And well, I don't know, it could be bacteria. We don't know for sure. - 'Cause he's got the weakest. - I took it last night, I felt so much better today. - No, I mean, I guess that's good. - I could have been in my day I'm running the corner anyway. - Yeah. - But yesterday I was, I did have a- - I was nonverbal yesterday. - I had a demon dream for sure. - I was horrible. - I had a dream it were like a night where I was,
I had a big blanket on me, and then I developed a fear of big blankets. And big blankets were coming to strangle me and envelop me. You hallucinate it. So then I ripped off the blanket and I had the sheet underneath and then I'd get freezing cold. And then I'd have to face the demon of accepting the blanket. But it's like it was going to kill me. When you get rabies and you become hydrophobic, we are afraid of water. What happened to you guys? We're talking, dude. We're like, if you can't relate, just listen. It was, what? No, for real. It was a biblical experience. Yeah. I've never been, I've been sitting this six, ten years ago. I got the flu. Ten years ago, I remember being like this. Never again. You guys are talking about it. I'm about to take care of it. You came back from Peru and you all did eye-washing the other room. You got to hear my hallucination. Okay. I'm not making a show. This actually happened. So, okay. I don't know if you remember the first time when I had, what did I have? I think it was when I got my tattoo infection and I was having crazy hallucinations. I think I told you guys. You went to the language. Yeah. I'm pretty sure we talked about the podcast. It's like even Star's character and party down. You want to script? Yeah. Well, this time, what it was was I was in this world where the only way to do anything was to do something else. So, like, let's say you wanted to scratch your knee. You had to go water the plants in the front yard and maybe that's, maybe that's scratching your knee or maybe it's like turning on the oven. Everything is linked to something. So it's a randomizer? Yeah. And you're just looking for whatever the right key is and in my dream, which was also leaking into what I was awake, I believe this was true. So I would be like, I'd be shivering and I'd be sweating and I'd be writhing and moaning, lots of moaning. And I'd be trying to get to stop and I would just start doing stuff. I would just start throwing blankets on the ground or putting my pillow on. Yeah, because they would give you the access to something else. Exactly. Because they'd give you access to, like, I don't want to be so cold. Yeah. Do we still have a hot switch? Anything when I woke up, I just believed it was still true. I'm still in the state of mind where you're explaining this to me and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just cold coming off of the worst sickness ever and I'm like, oh, yeah, you got to fucking turn the hose. Yeah, you got to draw the hose and you make the light work. You got to do it. And it was so horrible, dude, I was like that for at least 24 hours. See if you would be so good at doing that. I was on. See if you'd get warm so fast. You would get warm really fast. Buck. Wait, is it ever can you bring up the picture I put in the group chat? Yeah, music. That's the aid. Dude, Aiden came. I came in. Aiden was alone in here. He was reading a book and crying in the couch. Is that fucking crazy? It was for your guy. Do I look like Jerry. No. Wow. You actually kind of look more. I think Aiden looks closer. You look like E Honda. He's around a onesie. Aiden zip down. Dude, that's a onesie. Oh, if he had the shirt off. I guess you look like E Honda if he was around a onesie. Yeah. I mean, he obviously looks a little closer. Yeah, you look like Jerry, bro. Damn it. I know. And I play Jerry. She has some big toes. I don't ask why I looked. But. Did you just look without knowing she's like the foot person. Oh, really? Yeah. It's funny because her feet are barely in this too. Like, you're kind of a foot guy for seeing that. Yeah. Jerry's literally like the foot fetish character. I think she literally has 100% accuracy. I think she has a Ludwig's feet. Look, the middle toe has the weird bent. Yeah. And the big ass. Jerry's got what we call a new hamster foot. Dude, that is not it. That's not it. The middle toe is not longer, bro. Oh, you have the fucking whatever it's called. It's pretty long. The Roman toe. The shallow. Oh, dude. Yeah. I'm back to the world of the living. Oh, yeah. What else? There was this TikTok. I thought it wasn't a TikTok. It was an Instagram reel. And it was. His name was Vladimir, the hard money man. And I was just saying that over and over. He's dreaming about the hard money man. And it's just this Russian guy who is like a loan shark and he makes his Instagram reels. If you can look him up, the Vladimir, the hard money man and he's just a fucking fat Russian guy. And he's like, they have a lot of them here. How much money you lend? He's like, I lend 100,000. What's the maximum? No, maximum. I have money. I'm Vladimir, the hard money man. And so I was just saying that over and over. What does that do? When he's a, oh, dude, he looks crazy, the hard money man, if you need hard money, you go to Vladimir. Yeah. No, that makes sense. It's simple. Yeah. It's straightforward. How old is he? He could be like 58 or he could be like 36. He's just like 23. Do a, do a, do a, okay, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down, the light did me. Instagram fucks us. GG. It's okay. You're down scrolling for today. It's kind of, I've cracked it when the whole shit, when this whole shit's over. We keep the Patreon and we just put up a live feed that's in your home with a microphone. Me? And we hide it. Yeah. And we hide it. And that's what we sell. And I'm just like, it's like alveas. Guys, why does the Patreon be generating money? It's like alveas. You could donate it to give you food. Yeah. You could donate the stock to fridge. Like the horse from all the most of me? No, like alveas. You, but like they always send you that with the horse. They send you gifts. And you don't even know about the livestream, but you just know food appears. There you go. Wow. Watching a 45 year old man lay on the floor with his phone going, "Flad to me." That's the whole, or food comes. I eat from the whole, or the food comes. Oh, my God. I have a big hamster bottle. Yeah. Yeah. Cool, man. I'm down. I don't care about anything anymore. No, I had to ego death during all this. Dude, I did too. Well, I was kind of thinking, like, I was thinking a lot about stuff before I got sick. I mean, like how the world seems more action and gray these days. Right. But in like a productive way, not depressed. You guys did do eye-washing. Dude, I didn't have a single thought. Yes, you fucking did. You were messaging us to your thoughts about your butt and it to being defeated. I didn't have a, I moved like a bee. It moved like a worker bee and the queen was my ass. And all I did was listen to her. Do you know what I realized? Wow. I love to moan. That was beautiful. I, moaning was helping a little once. You never just went, "I moaned all night." Dude, it feels so good. I made no noise. I made no noise. When you're thinking to die, just moaning. My night, that was like yours. I, so like, I woke up because it was poop time now. I went, whoops, it's poop time now. Done to go. And I was like, I tested and I was like, can this be a fart? And I knew it wasn't. And I was like, it's time to go poop time now. I get up and my walk was like, like I had Parkinson's. I was like, holy. Yes. Holy shit. Oh my God. Thank God you know. I walk. The shivers were crazy. I sit down. I poop. And it was like, it was horror. Like, when the poop came out, I felt sick. And I was also shaking. I get back to bed. I crawl in next to my fucking beautiful ass, girlfriend. I got a look at her. I got some poop on my hand. I'm like, I love you. I love you. I touch your feet. I love you. It's so pretty. She's too sweet to you. And she's been asleep the whole time. She doesn't even really know I'm sick yet. And I get it. And I'm full body shaking. Just like full body shaking. She wakes up to me shaking. That's how bad it is. And she's just like, what's happening? And I'm like, I'm so cold. And she like gets up. And she gets every blanket in the house. And she just puts it on me. Just does nothing. Nothing. No effect. Nothing. I'm freezing under all these blankets still. Nothing's real. I think my weight helps me. I didn't get cold. I didn't get cold. I didn't get cold. I didn't get cold. I didn't get cold. I was going to one blanket. And I was like, I was good. You didn't have the fucking crazy shivers. I had crazy shivers out of blanket. But then I won blanket. I was like, warm. That's so interesting. I don't think it's a weight loss. As much as I would love to dog on you for that, I love it. Well, I'm good now. I'm skinny. It could also be-- I dropped six pounds this weekend. Yeah, we all did, brother. Dude, I definitely lost weight. It's called the Noro diet. Dude, it could also be your bio. I'm down to 182. You might be higher bio. I'm coming. I'm coming, buddy. Catch up, bro. Anyway, we all got Noro virus for Christmas, I guess. Except Adon. Who's still dead in it. You're just still going to get in. And say, Apple. Stop. When's the last time you were fucked up nasty sick? Like us. Like us. Like us. I was fucked up nasty like that. Actually only a couple months ago, which-- a theory popped into my head. Because I had most of these symptoms, but in-- but all lighter. Like in like-- Oh, this one. When he went to Mexico, no? No, no, no, no. This is when Dr. Noodle Slam and pedophile Ben were visiting. I don't like that, but you do it anyway. Dr. I don't know where we would have got it from. I felt like I took an Advil that day because I already had it. I felt you gave it to us. I felt sensey You gave us that shit. I brought it makes sense It makes sense that the yard guy's got it then because we spent the day together. Why didn't you fucking tell anyone? Cuz I guess I really wanted to spend the day with you. I didn't want to get sick. Wait, so this means I'm contagious and I didn't want to go through it wait Hey, Aiden Hey, Aiden I something a different room than cutie Just so she didn't get that she got in it. No cuz my shit smells so bad My mouth do it. It's just my leg. Where is she in fact it has she been infected yet? No, okay, this is good This is good for me. I would sit on a toilet so long because assistant Trisha walked in one time Cuz I was there before she was at the house She got into the house. She had put her stuff down Put her meal in the fridge worked a bit then went to go to the bathroom. I was still in the bathroom that whole time Yeah, but you're looking on TikTok and then she walked in and and and I and she didn't know I was in there and I and I had to make a noise Uh-huh, and I didn't know a noise to me the noise. Uh-huh It is it does come out like that I'm in there cuz I was the first noise I made that day. Yeah, it's kind of the desperate And then she and then she laughed and then fleed Well, okay, but besides us getting sick, bro. It's fuck it's the crit. It's Christmas, but now we're all healed We're healed by the power of Jesus and it's the end of the year and we have we have gifts Wait, I have gifts for you guys. I'm gonna bring it tomorrow for the patreon episode That's crazy. Why wouldn't you do it today? We had all day cuz we didn't have this episode of plan We'll be gone. We had it planned it. We planned it. We did plan it 30 minutes before it happened Well, it was always always today. Yeah, I had to give some my house, but it was always fucking boom. It's okay to say I forgot Do you get me a gift? No. So why are you doing all this? Let me just bring my shit tomorrow and shut up about it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I won't be here. Don't forget you my gift to aiden. Oh, I didn't get them one That's sick and he won't be here. What boom? And he will be here. So there's a problem. So why are you on my deck? I'm not on your day. Not you. I want to be on your day. I've been to school. I'm gonna be gone And when you let and when you they get to take turns be it on your dick tomorrow I won't be in high school. I'm gonna kill you if we didn't exist would you let him on your day? I wouldn't let any of y'all my day. No, but you said they can be on your day tomorrow. They're all my dick But I don't want them there, but they get to do it. I'm saying get off Okay, so that's what if you want on his dick. You just got a hop on brother. Yes, the hop on so it's my state My but then when you get on I'm gonna go hop off my butt. Just my girlfriend's parents. I'm not visiting because I need it I'll get on my boss. I need to have my boss's dick tonight. I can't take that 5 a.m. flight to Baltimore Oh, 5 a.m. is gross. I got to leave here at 3.30. You want a body more murder line? Yeah, you think that's where they're at. You think that's where her parents are at. Yeah, and in body more In body more the tougher parts. Of course, they're actually like north Palm Springs. This is the homicides of droppin It's they're doing a really good job. That's great. I love that. Well, what are your guys resolutions? I don't have any Yeah, well think of some it's the fucking podcast. I'll think of it, man. I'll fucking think he's dropping shit His butt hole made a question mark. I've all made a question marches now. I look like Jerry I wouldn't even let it I wouldn't even let my butt think I won't let it consider a thought unless I'm over a toilet I'm just gonna overpower it I thought you were subservient to your butt because she's it will be she'll lead me there But I don't let her speak until we're there at the end of the day. She has the final She has the final If you if you withheld from her, she would speak eventually last night was the holiday concert and I had to I was in a rivals event And so I did shit huh. I did she I it's gonna be the rivals event. I'll say go stuff But I went after and I was like I hope I make the drive and while I'm feeling the drive My tummy gets all mad Yes, and she's groveling at me Oh, it's time and and I and I bear and I walk through the front door and I'm trying to play it cool Yeah, and there's in kids cutie event. So somebody so the front door is locked But I see you officer me lets me in I go fuck yeah security Pat does yes sir you have to enter through the back mm-hmm and I go okay And then I go through the back and there's a metal detector and I have to go through the metal detector I'm like God your security is so good and I walk in you know I've put your gun away and the first thing I do is a 15 minute just hammer Just shit Is this a stall bathroom? Single stall there's two stalls. I'm one of the stalls, but it's like it be real But I take the big one the next person. Yeah, I took the handicaps all it's like the giant one. You think you deserve Yes, of course. Yes, he deserves a gently a veteran of this like I should have a purple heart And and I had to wait for people to leave to exit Because everyone else there is just the fucking streamers at the fucking concert So if I walk out after making crazy noise They're gonna be like so I was in the bathroom and I saw a Ludwig shitting Yeah, it's gonna be a Yugi clip. It's yeah, yep, yep, yep, yeah, I fucking can't stand about streamers man Narks the content They're all nark you have to nark for the condos gusting man. I mean we do the same thing No, no if I walk in I hear my boy Ludwig and he's just like unleashing a Gurgling demon, right like he's screaming. It's bubbling. It's farting on the way out I'm not telling anyone. I'm walking on it. It's like what anything crazy happened in there. I'm like No, the first thing you would do is tell me. Yeah, it's different. It's different. You're in my bucket Okay, I'm not telling extra so you think slime does say it on the pod I'm not I'm not telling fucking squeaks. I'm not telling extra Emily I think the difference between you and me is that I I go I go to the cutie concert. I hear the bubble man Inside inside of the the big stall. Oh, I hear the bubble man I walk out here the fucking moment out walks super TF and you're coming on this pod You're being like nothing happened. No, what I would do is if an EMP hit and no electronics worked in that building Or if everyone was lives human same time no matter what I would announce to everyone that the bubble man Ludwig is in there And he is having a crazy time and it smells like shark meat I would do that because I'm interested in your humiliations. I think you would you do that? Super TF I don't know. I might not know him well enough. The super TF. That would be a closed circuit television. I would tell you guys Okay, I would probably say it on the pod because he'd be okay with that. I'm assuming Yeah, it was case by case. You know, I might tell I'd tell you guys and I might tell like the security guard Like someone who I know can't do anything with it I'm just like me I'm not burdened with this. You have long guy that came in. He's the bubble man I'm the fucking who's all bubbles Yeah, same as Ludwig. Yeah Dude, I was I'm so fucking I was a conversation with Wake in Connor and then Wake Wake. He's like he's got a man button a big old beard You drag him as a beautiful man. You drag him as works out a lot Got a good book. I was in a combo with them and then and then the bubbles hit and I and I just had to I just had to hard in the conversation Like I was playing spy party. I had to just walk away Yeah, like the big challenge. Yeah, this guy's in Texas, right? Yeah Dude, I bought a Miata. I bought a new Miata because I really wanted to drive a bite my shit Yes, I'm biting your shit the one that's been in the fucking so by my shit Don't care. No one tries it. You're biting my shit. I'm not biting your shit. You know what? I'm biting Ryan's shit. You're biting my shit I'm writing Ryan's shit. You're you're trying to fucking displace this you bought a Miata. Welcome my world boy Are you buying or can you buy it because I want to be special? Welcome to my world boy. Well, you bought it my shit Look at the tires on that thing. There's some kid you don't drive it Fucking rage made it like Great car. It's manual. That's the original manual. It's fun to drive. So anyone's the top go down. Yeah, that's the soft. Oh yeah That makes sense anyway mine is to I know what is this? What color silver? Mm-hmm what Hey, you should break my doors. I had to mention how many doors. I want you to go I want you to get lost under the elephant gingerbread man. So you bought a man. What are you just for funsies? Yeah, I just like you're ravful. I've been on the manual for a while and I would have cost you out the door Dude, it was under 40 out the door. Well, it was no no fucking problem. Here's it new 2025. Did you cash it? You can't you actually can't do that right now. They don't do that really. It can't be like the hard money man And show up even if you go like all right. I won't take it down. I'm gonna leave. You're flat in me. Well, maybe maybe if you said that They'd like bend rules, but they were they I just like someone else tried to do that next to me is family buying like a SUV or something and they were like we can only take $9,000 total right now The hard money man shows up and wants to buy a car and can't I don't know they have card dealerships are weird. They like they like to me. I had to like look at that They was so fucking good scryl off you not buying it
- No. - But yeah. - Like someone else would. - I hate that. - I think they're a lot of get better deals like they can sell for less. - They also want you to finance it. It's the whole thing. But yeah, I'm driving around, I got it Friday, which is a day right before I got really, really sick. And so I have it and I'm like, okay, cool, whatever. And I drive a little bit. And then Saturday, I took a Tylenol and I felt better. So I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go to 7-Eleven. I'm gonna go get a Gatorade because I actually used the fucking Instacart for the first time ever because I was like, I can't leave the house, I'm freezing. And I had a man bring me Gatorade's. That's like, this is the only thing I need. - Could I have two Gatorade's? - Yeah, I was like, this is so insane. Even though it's like ordering food is not much different. So I fucking have the Gatorade man come. But I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna use the fucking app. I'm gonna go and get in the car and get the Gatorade's myself. Dude, as soon as I get in and I'm like halfway to 7-Eleven, I'm like, it's time to go, it's time to go. So it's time to go now. And I fucking flip a U-turn, it's like two in the morning. I flip a U-turn and I just, I bark that bitch, dude. I bark at home, dude. - And there's no way you're getting back in the car after that. - And I run in and I almost shit my Miata. - You wanna shit your new Miata? - 100 miles on, bro. - Oh, it's like that, it's like that drinking commercial. - Where the, it's like, have you had any drink and the guy opens the door, all the beer comes out of the cup? - Yeah, yeah. - Dude, just troves of shit. - Like the more than a man's worth. - Like, have you had any high-dining Japanese food in the room? - Of course I do, don't all this shit. - Officer, I need you to hose me down, hose me down, officer. - It's like when those old stories are like that Christmas story of the homeless guy is cold on Christmas, so he commits a minor crime to get locked up so he can stay warm for the night. But it's me with a shitty ass. - Yeah, I can get warm at the detention center. - Yeah, I can get hose down in the cell. - Hose me, I need to be warm to know, officer. - Next to the drunks. - You roll the window down, the cop will let you go. (laughing) - Just like, you're good. - Jesus Christ. - Do you think, do you think-- - Officer, I'm calling this one in. - With the way you smelled, Ludwig, do you think that if a cop pulled you over, that it would be probable cause to search your car? Do you think they would smell it and be like, what do you got in here? - Is that that new weed? - I would think they'd think I was bombing a New Year's festival for a smile, like. (laughing) - It was bad, man. (laughing) - Yeah, I left there, I'm so, it's really honestly, so sorry about the telephoto. - All of the things in my body's, by the way. - You smell nice now. - Yeah, when I shit, it changed the room. - Is it no smell at all? - No, no, I'm not used to it. - I'm saying, I've changed the room's makeup. - Oh. (laughing) - You had nothing new to the room. - You've changed the chemical makeup of the air. - Yes, but now it's like Mars, I did that so much that now I, like I had no impact. Like all the chemicals that left my body in it. - It's the fucking kitchen. - Mercer had a lot to mash it. - And the ugly thing from the Martian to keep the food safe. - Yeah, she's gonna fall my name and she's covering the walls. She's trying to keep the hydrated. - I had to go, it was time to go. And then I went to that room. - I left the room for a little bit. I laid on the couch for a while and I came back in and I smelled, I imagined she was smelling all day and I went, oh no. - No, she's used to it too, don't worry. - She's not. (laughing) I was like, oh no. - Did you throw up? - Dude, not once. - I did once. - You threw up once? - Well yeah, I got really nauseous and that's why I saw something in different rooms. I couldn't handle the smell of cat food. - Really? - Yeah. - It kind of like I'm gonna go throw up intentionally. It was like, it's coming. - Oh, it's the smell of my own shit. (laughing) - It's like a dog. - My shit smells so bad that I had to flip around and throw up. - Say this, that's never happened to me. - Wait, did you? Okay, maybe even censor this part, aren't you? (crow cawing) - No, no, no. - You flushed first? - It was separate enough. - I think you could really, could you promise? - Like, yeah, like I shit, it smelled bad. I was like, oh I'm gonna throw up. - And you flushed, then I flushed it. - And you turned around? I was like, maybe I don't need to. - Oh, there was a break. - And then I got up and I was like, I shit. - Okay, okay, you could just hit it flipped around. So I was like. - That's called the margarita. - I thought, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all. - Fucking yucky. - Well, just say you know, I don't care. (laughing) - No, you can't. - I don't fucking care. - You started making it all up, man. I thought you were making it all up. - This is all natural. - So he didn't have to come on lemonade stand. - Oh yeah. - If anything, it's beautiful. - You are here before me, obviously. - Why? - 'Cause I'm way more business oriented. Like I buy a lot of stock. - You buy a stock? - I guess I've never ever ever bought a stock. - And he buys commodities. - And I buy commodities. - He buys a lot of screws. - I have a lot of physical goods. I have a lot of physical goods that I keep. - It is disgusting that you would not even offer me a chance to be a part of your fucking show. - Your time will come. - You also talk about them, like they're pretty bad people. - You so do you. You have never said a good thing about Doug Doug on this show. - That's not true. - That's not true. - What did you, what have you said? - I think it looks like honor. - I've said he's handsome before. I said his chest muscles look bigger than. - Big huge. - And man's of everything. - How cute. - Look like Anthony Joshua. - Yes. - But kind of like a, what do you call him? - Here's our last episode of the year. The little we start shit everywhere, puke and everywhere. - I felt bad, dude. I was trying to make it. That was the night I threw up. - And I must feel like four AM. - You did, it was a 24 hour heads up. Which was appreciated. - That's how I knew it was bad. - I could be loved with this episode if you have me on. Do you watch? - What do you think that episode is? - That's for them to figure out. - That episode is them trying to spark any conversation. And you're going. - Don't talk about AI again. - Super is laughing so hard. And so is the guy who is on the show. - So what are we doing? - Where's the value? - There's the value. - Maybe it's right here. - It's not the show. - It's not the show. - It does it. We've been doing it for four years. - Yeah, but you don't shut us down constantly. - Sometimes I do. - Yeah, sometimes I do. - Yeah, but like 80% of the time. - You would shut down every word A truck set. - Dude, it would be, it would be an all-star game. It would be, dude, it would be the globe trotters. Beating the Washington Generals. - Dude, imagine. - Just good home cooking, bro. - We're the Washington Generals? - No, A truck is. - Imagine they all just do their research and they come prepared as shit and they just maug your ass. - With, because at the time it's not our car. - Car accident logic for never waste. - So I'm just arguing in like the most, I'm not saying the research wasn't the fucking what happened in Russia. I'm saying like they read like the, in the WIT Olympics. - Oh, that'd be amazing. Here's the thing. I wouldn't be mad about that. If I'm best in their policy room. - They never do that. - I know. - They wouldn't, right? - And they couldn't. - And they couldn't have. - And there is an ethereal beauty to this skill. What are you doing? Is that real? - Oh. - No, it was a prop. - Dude, is that holes in there? - Why does it look like 50 cent? - It's an animal. - Oh God. - It's a dog. - It's a dog. - It's not moving. - Oh, it's a dog. (laughing) - He's like, "I'm gonna give you a dog, SIDS." - What? - He would have yelped if it was bad. (laughing) - Did you get a fucking dog, Mianna said of a dog. - Huh? - Did you get a Mianna said of a dog? - I don't think it was between. - Are you over your dog dreams? - You can only get one. - Think about a dog, but every time I do, I'm like, "Ugh, it's probably not a good idea." Again, I'm being considerate for the dog here, Mianna. - Seven years. - Seven years. - Seven years, I found out I have been a wiring money to a one carol shaytard. - No. - Wiring money to the shaytards? - I have been wiring money to the shaytards every month for seven years. - Oh my God. - Why? - Wiring. - Well, because I was a big fan of their content, yeah. - How much money have you been sending for? - 10,000. - 7,000 dollars, right? Total? - No, just a year. - A year? - For seven years. - Yeah. - That's $42,000 you've even carol shaytard. - But he made the shaytards, man. - I'm loving it. - How did you find out you were doing this? - Huh? - How did you find out this was happening? - Oh, fucking money. - Rocket money helped you figure this out. - Rocket money helped me figure this out. - Love me, I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. - This is not supposed to happen. - No, no, unwanted wiring is either monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can go out your savings. - You really carol shaytard take it from me? - You really take it, you kind of-- - You gave it to him. - So that's compellingly which is the weird thing. - Thank God, Rocket money was around to detect this. - Who's fault is this? - It's your fault, 100%. - It's 1000% your fault. - Rocket money can undo your mistakes or your lack of-- - Do you think you'd accept me? - I mean, the Rocket money dashboard did make it abundantly clear to you. That, 'cause you can view all your expenses and where all your money's going and all your accounts. - All your accounts. - Right, so you're using this opportunity to, "Have you stopped the money sending him with Rocket?" - Okay, that's the problem. - Okay, okay, okay. They have that built in too, they can cancel your unwanted subscriptions. - But if I cancel it, then maybe you want to accept me. - Okay, Rocket money actually can't do that. - They don't even need us to say they can. - Very much of you problem. - They can do 90% of this. - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket money. Go to rocketmoney.com/theguard. That's rocketmoney.com/theguard. We're going to do it together and we're going to stop this sequence of transactions. - We're in a bit. - Yes, we are. - We just need Carl to find out about it. - I don't think he's going to-- - You are not watching the Shay Tard Vogue, so sit back, relax, fall along, too. - Got two tapes, a lot of them. - I asked you a question. - Yeah. - In the Christmas spirit. If you got me a gift, right? - I got you one. - Something that you thought I would really love. - Yeah. - And then you show it next year, you realize,
So I never even touched it. - Okay. - And then you're like, but I don't tell you that, like a man, I don't tell you that. - Sure. - Would you give me a gift next year? - Would I get you a gift next year? - Yeah, I think, yeah. - Are gifts given conditional on the love of the gift? - I don't know, I'm asking what you think. - I would think no. I would think I give the gift for the love of the man. - You give me another gift. - I would try. - I don't use it at all again. - Third year. - I think I would pivot the gifts that I'm giving. - You would try to get better gifts. - If the gift was good enough, he would use that shit. - Yeah. Last year I got love with an Xbox 360, and he gave me a date that he would play it with me. - Oh no. - At the past. - What was the date? - It was eight months ago. - Did we say the year? - What? - It was like, it was like three weeks after I gave it to you. - No, but did I say the year? - It could have been any. - Did you say the year? - Did I say April 25th? - No, didn't say the year, I guess. So then, like, what are we doing? It was probably 2029. - Probably. - The three of us will still be up. - Of course they will. - I mean, they're up right now. (laughing) - So your question was actually relating to me. - It was actually a Trojan horse. - It was actually a trick. - Yes, a bit of a trickery. - Yeah. I would get me some awesome shit. - Okay. - I'll get you some awesome shit. - But also, let's not forget, when you gave that gift what you said. What did I say? - Said I'll set this up for you. - It is set up. No, it's not. - No, oh my god, don't forget what you said. - It's in a cupboard. - No, no, don't forget what you said. - Don't forget what you fucking said. - I said, I said, do you want me to set this up for you? You said, no. I'll have Nick Yingling do it. - Don't forget what you said, what you said. Wow, your dick is so much bigger than mine. (laughing) - She said so awesome. - And then when you said it, you went in a opposite day. So you only said it because I was a day. And then you said, oh, you're right. (laughing) - That was where it ended. - I don't have a dark thought. I don't want to kill myself sometimes. (laughing) But I've never said this to anyone, but I really think it. (laughing) - And then the comments didn't stop. - Yeah, I left. - Yeah, that was on the show too, which was way better. - I was a bit worried. - Yeah, I was a bit worried. - Kind of blocked that one. - Good times, though, right? - Yeah. - I think I've done it. - I think that's a far, kind of a good gift. - I will say this, if we're bringing up past year resolutions and such, Zipper, can you, I put a link in the chat. Someone actually, a couple of people brought this up on the subreddit. Oh, this is, will Ludwig Renew his two-year friendship contract with Nick? Can you play this? - Trying to stream side to you guys for two months. - No, is he in here? - Yeah, it's on it here. He didn't get it. - Dude, that's evil. You're sleep for dinner. You almost made him leave. - You're being shot in the head. - Yeah, you made him leave. I had to convince him to come back. - Fuck you. - Fuck you. - I was, yes. You guys are going to be back. - I'm not renewing after the two-year contract. - Wow, two years of frigid friendship. - It's going to be a lame duck season. - Two years, December 21st. - I said, I wouldn't renew my contract because of that, treason. - Oh, so you're saying we had a two-year contract friendship? - I had a two-year contract friendship already at that point. - And now. - And I'm saying, after the two-years is over, I'm not renewing because you did that. I mean, is this the two-years-up? - But now we're, so the two-years-up. - So now I could choose to not renew. - Oh. - And now we're going to, well, how have I said you were off for yet? - You haven't said the off for yet. - God, remember, it's going to be juice. - You haven't said the off for later. And I'd love to see it. - Yeah. - I'd love to hear it any part of you. - Do you have it? - I don't have it prepared on me because it's like a really big off for you. - There's like more people I got to clear it through. There's more people I got to clear it through. - Well, I haven't let Calbee yet. - Well, I'll be, you know, it's, it's, it's, do on this one. - It does gotta go through Calbee. - It's gotta go through Calbee. You gotta redline it. - Here's the deal, Nick. I actually, like. - Wait. - This might come across a mean to him. - Mean. - You never care about that normally. So I mean, this is really mean. Mean. Sorry. - I was very Tom Cruise in Magnolia. I just saw that movie. - Reference downloaded. (laughs) - I don't feel bad about that anymore after watching you play League of Legends. - What? - 'Cause I saw a man become a boy. - Oh. - I know it. - And you don't hate a boy. - I see. - You can hit a boy. - So if you. - If you're Anthony Joshua, maybe I. - I actually don't feel bad about that because I saw you play mid as Gallio. - He did download your Gallio game and watched it intently. - He had so embarrassed. - Why is that? - I had to. - He played in the line, mid Gallio, and I went and watched it. - My first ever mid game and he's watching it and he's fucking slow-stroke in because he's hit gold after 8,000 games. - Me soon up in the. I'm in the Apple Vision Pro. I'm watching Ludwig's one mid game on Gallio Fullscreen. - Just jerky. - You're in a cyber truck. - Oh! - It's on fire. - Is that iron? - It's on fire and what? - Oh, 3.2 C.S. - No, I actually think the issue was a gold two game or gold three game. - Yeah, that was the issue. - Yeah, a hundred percent. Wait, are you being. - I just. It's welcome to the lane. - The lane is harder in gold than it is in the lane. - What rank should you be playing at? - If I'm learning, ideally iron, bronze. - Welcome to the lane, motherfucker. - I shouldn't be learning in gold. - Rossi says welcome to the lane, bitch. - What made you boot up? - Just to try one out. - Wait, was this two out? - Gallio. - Was this two in poop time? - No, no, this is a lot. - This is like two months we are playing. - Oh my god. - I was just when I was setting the world on fire with my electric run. - Yeah, the world's wondering when you're going to be back. - You said you might let up the world again. - Do you guys have to do that? - I found out the season ends on the sixth. I don't have a lot of time. - Yeah, you got to see that. - I want to leak your idea. - Yeah, we can leave it, but you should make a run. - Come on. - Dude, okay, so it's supposed to flood in two days and I hate being wet. So I, I, it. - What, sorry, what are you fucking talking about? - What is it? - No one laughed. No one laughed, just listen, listen and understand. - What do you mean, no? Why do you have to tell people not to laugh? - Sorry, sorry, I was saying. I was loving it. Rich, rich. - Rich? - Rich said something funny. - There is a flash flood warning in two days. - Uh-huh. - Los Angeles. - We're going to get six inches of rain in a day, which is a lot. - What is funny? - In your security, I'm getting wet. - I'm not scared of getting wet. I hate being wet. - What are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we, what are we. - Hey, quit it, okay? - People hate being wet. What the fuck are you talking about? - What do you guys like being wet? - Yes, I do it every day. - It's gonna shower. - I know, obviously, a shower is controlled wetness. I love taking showers. It takes shower every day. I took like nine showers on foot. - What are you talking about when the wet is controlled? - You hate a surprised wetness. - Who does it? - I'm, what do you think it's gonna happen during this flood? - You hear the point, even if you don't yell. So, there's no need. - This makes no sense. - Well, let's stop, let's listen. So there's a flood coming. - This is what you think the water's gonna breach? - There's a flood, there's a flood and we hate being wet. - Haping wet. - You guys are making it prefer to be dry. - You feel like I'm crazy. - You're not crazy. - It's not crazy. - Haping wet. - Well, I hate to be wet. - Well, if you hate being wet too. - I hate being wet. - Okay, listen, there's a fucking flash flood warning for two days, which I hate being wet. Basically, what I'm saying is, if I had to play league all day, then I would have to be constantly, should I have to set up a drainage thing because my driveway floods and it fucking freaks me out because the water comes up and I hate water damage, I hate being wet and I could, I would be distracted and I hate the rain, it's very, it's like, so that's a day off the table. - You're worried about having a thing, you're worried about while you stream. - 100%. - So what? - Or being wet. - It was wet. - It was also this fucking day when you're not playing. What are you doing? What are you fucking yelling at the water? - It's like, what do you think you're doing? - I have to manage, I have to manage a pump outside. Last year, last year in January, or this year, I fell into the Moghi hole again. I was playing a bunch of Moghi. I remember that. - So I'm, you know, Mario Kart, I'm locked in and Dan from Canada was visiting and helping us out with some stuff around the office. And he tapped me on the shoulder while I'm finishing up the Moghi. I got like 15 minutes left, right? He's like, just, you know, there's like, there's like some water in the warehouse, like it looked because it was raining really heavily. And when this has happened in the past, like we have these little holes and leaks pop up, we've seen it in here. You just like, plop out a bucket, wait for it, ride it out, maybe get the hole fixed later, no big deal. And I wait the 10, 15 minutes. I realize over the course of that, that slowly, the other people in the office, cam, yingling, Christian are disappearing from the room. And I'm alone upstairs, all of a sudden, Moghi ends, I walk downstairs. There is literally a waterfall of water coming down the side of the wall onto the electric breaker. - I remember that. - And I had just spent 15 more minutes playing Moghi, not like, of course it couldn't be this bad. And we had it, we had it flooded last year at the same time. - In the building. - Did you like that? - No. - No. - I didn't like that because then the reason I brought it up was I didn't like the idea of returning to the game after I was like, I have my whole day, but what if this just keeps happening? - So we're fucked. - So it's, no, I mean we're fucked. - Did you fix the whole bitch? - Everyone's leaving. - Hey, hey, warehouse bitch, did you fix the whole? - We fixed all the holes in the warehouse. - Good. - Hopefully. - That's what I'm saying, like that's what we think. - Anyway, that's a day off the table and there's only, I would love to be a fucking contractor who fixes holes.
when it's dry. - Yeah, but you hate fishing on one dirt wet. - That's what I'm saying. You do when it's dry. It should be good when it rains. - And then when it rains, it's not good. And it's like, "Ah, it's all right." - Contractors hate being wet. - Contractors hate it. - That's why they wear them damn booties. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, so to prepare for this, again, the water rises up, and it gets fucking everywhere, and it freaks me out, 'cause it could damage. - Just put a log across it. - So I've tried that, but I went to the store today, and I literally bought a rain suit, and like rain boots, I looked like a fucking serial killer. And I have all this shit. I have a-- - You really hate getting wet. - Dude, I hate getting wet, and so, but I'm finally doing something about it. And I have a sump, it's called a sump, and I have an extension cord, and I have a hose. I have this whole system to drain out if it's not flooding too bad, to drain out so my shit doesn't get wet. - So you don't get wet? - Because you hate pukes. - He doesn't like when a shit gets wet as much as he doesn't like getting wet. - Six inches of rain in a day is crazy. - You guys are making me sit in the home, be like, "This is crazy." I was like, "Yeah." - I saw this coming. - You said six inches of rain, and I was like, "Okay." - That's what I thought. - Dude, you're gonna be gone. - I won't be here. - I'm gonna be gone. - It's always so-- - I'm here. - I won't be here, and I bet the rain won't be bad. - Anyway, it's a day off the table. - It'll be great. - There's not a lot of days to get to platinum, which is the idea, but we'll see. But the idea with me and Ludwig, two men, one room, white room like Iran, Iran white room torture, you know what I'm talking about. We're but ass. - But ass, Nick. - Race to platinum. - Scene. - Scene, both mid-lane. - That's a great idea. - And we literally don't leave the bitch. - Literally don't leave the bitch. - Mid-lane. - What? - 'Cause we might also do it together. - I do it, but I do it, let me be awesome. - Oh, you're queuing together. - And we might queue together. - I'm down for that, I'm down for against each other. I, but-- - Wait, wait. - Playing locked in a room with league legends, I wanna do it again. I want it. - What's your goal here? - We're but a hit plan. - It would be doing it through a lane. - Is it just to be but ass? - Oh, I do this. - Well, I guess that would be part of the goal. - Now slime being but ass, Lud, what if there was, what if somehow you guys were made to be wet? - Ooh. - Is it a surprise when it happens? - Yes. - I don't like that idea. (laughing) - I would want a plan. - Every time we lose a bucket of water drops on you. - On our cup of computers and shit. - Yeah, but computers still get affected. - Yeah, magic computer. - No, that'd be fine. It'd be fine. I would know what was coming. - A planned wet. - A planned wet. - The water drops randomly, a wedding. - No, out, done. - One to 30 minutes after losing. - No, that's fine. - Okay. - Right, so there's rules here. You see, I'm not fucking crazy. - One to six hours after losing. And it stacks, obviously, 'cause you lose multiple times. - That's fine. I think the Ludwig slime league marathon goes crazy. - But when the hell are you guys gonna do that? - I don't fucking know. - What is all this? - He's always so mean. - To you, nasty fucker. Also, it's like, what do we do, bro? - August? - What do you want from me? - He's being dead ass. - Nothing, man. August? Hey, if we're still. - Good luck playing no league until August and then it going to plat. - Wait, this actually-- - That should be easy. - This actually makes sense. - Is it plat toys? - Because you could stream your solo journey to plat at the beginning of this year. Then you're both on an even playing field. You're both people who have hit plat at one point. - Two random warriors. - And now you duo together in new roles and see if you can make it, but ask. - What new roles left for you? ADC support? - Me? - Yeah, it's just bottom line. I don't touch bottom line. I don't like it down there. - It's tough down there. That's the hardest lane. - Yes, pretty hard. It's doubles, and I hate doubles. - Mm-hmm. - But yeah, I'm down. If it's August, it's 2029. Same year as his share renews. And the same year. How about you do August, 2029. You do this with me, and then you play Xbox with Nick. - No, no, no, I'm doing that. The Xbox is 2029. We gotta do this 2026. - 2026, you mean? - Yes. - It's disgusting. - Motherfucker. - But the Xbox is coming. - Disgusting what I endure. - He's scheduled to be his friend. - Dude, he scheduled it. That's big for him. - You got on his side. - He doesn't. - That's what I'm hearing. - He gets on his schedule a lot of stuff. - He has that stuff. He's trying to get on a box of dick tonight. - So it's kind of like, you gotta take it. And I'm, he never said what year he'd do the next merch meeting with you. So, so you know that might be 2029. - And my life is constant anxiety and fear. - Yeah. - You're making him ball, man. - Meanwhile, what did he just give you? - I'm making him ball. - Aiden loves to fucking opine and come on here and being like, I just need 15 minutes. Aiden has 15 minutes with him. - That's not what opine man gets 50. - First off, whoa. - It's not. - Yes, it is. - It's not what it's like. - It's like, it's not what it's like. - It's gonna be really embarrassing. - It's like, it's serious first. - It'll give you five seconds. - It's an opinion. So, to opine is the verb of that. To give an opinion. - You know what, don't even pull it up. This is bullshit. - Make sense. - That sounds actually like it's right. - 'Cause I knew you'd do shit like this. - I knew you'd say some bullshit. - I know you'd say some bullshit like this. - So I'm gonna get some fucking W. - Don't even look it up. - Brosting it to W. - Aiden fucking lies. You come on here and you try to go. - I don't say this. Aiden, and I hate this guy. But you'll say, dude, I just need 15 minutes. And then I'll go fucking take a dump, walk around. I'll lift some weights. I'll come back up here. You're still talking to zero off. It's been 46 minutes. - You know lies about how long it is. - It's been 46 minutes. - And it's not 15. - And then you see, he gives me like a 30 second heads-up of when he wants the meeting. That's a ranger smooch. - Yeah. - You know, for the guy who complains, I don't know plan enough. His whole tactic is, hey, can you meet him now? And it's like, I've actually planned on my day pretty well. - Oh, dude, when he gets sassy about his time. Oh. - Hey, this is the guy who's side-run. - And that's the guy you're side-run. That's the dick you're trying to slide on. - Yeah. - Six inches at a time. - Thank you for thinking that. - At a time, yeah. - Comedy podcast. Get argued. (laughing) I'm talking. - Dude, you know what I was thinking about when I put in this costume on, wanna look like Jerry Hahn. - Dude, all snowmen are bald. - Oh, well, depends if the creator puts hair on them. - No, the bald people, the snowmen get bald. - They get that. - They get that, they get that. - I appreciate that. - The bald people get snowmen, I should say. - Bald people get snowmen. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - I'll say butt, just fucking one down. - Every snowman is creative. - Correct. - Yeah. - Every snowman that is created with hair has a wig. - No, but that's what I was saying. - So every snowman is bald. - But if inherently putting a wig on a snowman is it's real hair because I've created it. - No, even when they come to life, it would still have a wig. - No, when it comes to life, that's a snowman with hair. - That's a bald snowman. - That is a bald snowman with a wig. - Who went to Turkey? - Oh, sorry, when the snowman comes alive and I take its arms off, it's fine. It's not, no. - I'm saying in this example, when the snowman comes to life, it would literally be a wig. - Can you look at bald snowman? - Is every snowman a double amputee? - No, I'm saying in the orange wheel. If you say yes, if every snowman is a double amputee, then every snowman can be bald. - A lot of snowman are, to be clear, but not every. - Well now see, that's interesting 'cause the third one of bald snowman is one with hair. - Yeah. - That kind of backs you up. - I mean, if the sticks can be arms, why can't you just stick to me? - That hair is overfirmic to stick to me. (laughing) - These are snowman's hair. - You're posting on our slash bald. But it's not about it being good, it's about the snowman. - I mean, if there's one with good hair, then it happened. - It's a separate question. Is there a snowman with good hair? - That's what we thought was pretty. - What is this way? If I a bald man put on a wig, do I have hair now? - So they say that guy has hair. - Fourth image, fourth image from Pinterest. That's fire. - Tell me he's bald. - That's a bald. - That's not a bald snowman. - With a, it looks. - You have to answer this honestly. - Is the sticks can be real arms. - We go to the left. - Why can't the sticks be real hair? - It's an important question. Does that one look like me? (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's like it. - That's like it's your classic. - I think that you. - Hold on. We're my hug. (laughing) - I think if you texted that picture to your mom, she wouldn't ask any questions. - You'd be like, "Lovely picture of you." - She's like, "It's nice, it's nice, it's nice." - "It's nice, it's nice, it's nice." - "I'm glad you're having a good week on me." - She's got my eyes. - Yeah, thank you for coming to my TED Talk. I feel like it came with more dissent. - When's the last time y'all built a snowman? - Never. - Shit. - Never. - I grew up in California. - Oh, fuck. - Lose it so reasonable. - I must have been single digit age, man. It's been a long time. - Really? - It also quits snowing in Colorado a lot where I grew up. The global warming really did slow things down. - Yeah, real certain kind of pow for that. - You need to get pow. - Pow. - Well, you don't need pow. - Pow. - Yeah, you pack. - You pack not pow. - Not pow. - You get that fire pow. That's your mountain. - That fire pow. - Okay, hit some fucking slow. - I built one last year and the fucking lick on the slope. - What are you fucking? - I get fire pow. You got the fucking style, you get slow. - Do you get C-T-E from snowboarding? - We're making a snowman. - He watched Johnny's Fennami watch. - What? - What? - What? - Dude, there's fire pow in my mouth. - I have a pile of the slope. - There's fire pow in the slope. Are you saying there's fire pow in the slope? - Fire. (laughing) - Okay, you're doing a great job. They do talk like that. The mountain folk, the skiing instructor, like track off folks. - Like their dwarves. - No, those are different. Those are the people that make chili out of you. - With the fresh pow guys, I've heard that effort. - The fresh pow guys is real. - You see that photo of the guy who went to war. - Yeah, yeah, he went to war one. - Yeah, he's all fucked up. - There's this surfer kid who surfs and he posts on stairs.
that post on TikTok like every day. This kid's out there. It's like, all right, 630, are you ready to surf, bud? And the guys eyes look like the war veteran. - Oh, man. - And I, if you don't want to surf. - No, no, no, no. Apparently you get surfer eye. If you surf a lot, you pull up surfing kid, zipper, it'll come up. - Yeah, okay. - There's not a lot of them. - There's nothing wrong with this, I don't think. - Yeah, so this is the kid when he's like 11. He's like 15 now. Can you click on his page? - I don't know how to do this morning. - Is it always early? - Oh. - 'Cause you love surfing. - Dude, I didn't realize through. - Whoa. - All my cousins look like. - 'Cause you're daily, right? - Anything else? What do you like to do before school besides surf? First skin. - All he does is he surfs every day and he loves it deeply. - I hope he loves it. 'Cause what looked like in his face, what was like, I can't do this one more minute. He looks like he doesn't speak any languages. - He has none. - He's one of them kids that just never let him be. - He's one of the most beautiful ones and it's the bored. - Yeah. - It's like-- - All my cousins look like. - Does it explain why? - Are they surfers? - Yeah. - Yeah, when you surf, you have a lot of sun, a lot of wind, a lot of water that enters your eyeballs. - Yeah. - That's all the fucking, all the salt water. - And I don't think they do a lot of protection of the eyes and surfing. - No. - No, it's not like on the mountain. - I don't know why they don't wear goggles. - That's why you wear goggles on the mountain. - The hair color is crazy. How all surfers get that fucking bleach blot? - Yes. - Yeah, just naturally from just insane amounts of sun and salt. - Oh, is that how it happens? - Yeah. - That's so crazy. - I feel real. - Yeah, that's why I got that bleach blot hair. - I didn't know that. - I thought that was like a country like-- - Like a diet. - Like they go, they go cause like 400 bucks and they do it. - Oh, no, no, no, no. - That was just a crazier of sun exposure. - Wow. - Yeah, on the mountain, the goggles are tinted because the sun bounces off the snow and it's sunburned your eyes. - Yeah, I knew that. - It's so bright on mountains. - Yeah, it gives you a snow blindness. - And it's pretty fucking badass. - You see that guy, Aiden Solace, I think. The guy who skied Everest. The first guy to do it. - The Red Bull guy? - Yeah. - He's a Red Bull man. - You and that guy. - Who was the first to do it? - He was the first to ski from the top to the bottom. - He was the first subcategory. - Why don't you lie for Red Bull then? - I want the first to do it. - Well, who was it? - It's in the Red Bull video, so can you say, "Rimble Light?" - Well, they didn't lie. You just got it wrong. - Well, how'd it get wrong? - And that's fine. - How'd it get wrong? - The first to do it without oxygen. - That's what I was. - Okay, sure. - That's what I was. - It's all Slovenian alpinist. - You guys were talking about the haze and the hallucinations that you were going through. Imagine that, but you're skiing down Everest and that's what he did. - I felt like I was skiing Everest. - Yeah, but he was doing it. - I actually think what we did was harder than what he did. - It was braver. - Yes. - Yeah. - Harder, probably, too. - Yeah. - Yeah, it'll a lot more poop involved. - Way more. - Almost certainly. - Way more. - 'Cause that video's so white and man, one session, I would've fucking changed a whole mountain landscape. - Yeah. - They'd be like, "Well, snow goes. It's just mountain goes." - Was it like, you'd be cause a little avalanche going down behind you? - Yeah, it would've looked like a Maricone dream. - Okay. - Okay, and that's Stephen Colbert's flavor. By the way, Ben and Jerry's. - Yeah. - And they're both gone. - Ben and Jerry? - They broke up. - No. - You know who else died? - Well, yeah, but I think they left for, because they didn't have control or some shit. - Ben left, because they were fucking, they were too fucking right-wing, bro. - But then Jerry left for the same reason later. - Yeah, I thought they were both like, lived out ice cream lower. - They are, lived. - But then they lost control. - But why did they leave Ben and Jerry? - 'Cause they didn't have control of their comfort. - But they're Ben and Jerry. - Yeah, but they probably gave up on it enough to not control the shit. - What if you sold Ludwig to YouTube channel to AirRack? Does he change it to AirRack? - What? - Has a YouTuber made ice cream yet? - Dude, that's a market. - No, it's not. - Yeah, it is, bro. - How? - Okay, Ryan Trayhands Candy went crazy. - Did it? - But it's ice cream, we can't. - Joyride is massive. - We can't ship it. - Oh, you know what you should go brick and mortar. - You should go mortar? - We go brick and mortar you with it. - Is Ryan Trayhands candy successful because he's doing brick and mortar? - Yeah, he's in target. - I mean, you're real? - Yeah, he's the number one best selling candy in target. - Bitch. - What the fuck? - Are you kidding me? - No. - I'm telling you to wake up. - No, that doesn't mean you don't say shit. - Today is a day, I imagine. - I don't know shit. - Imagine a mogul mint chip. - Oh, bitch, and it's green. - Mogul mint. - What are we doing? - It's mint. - Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to make a million dollars in? Or do you not? - My ice cream's not green. - I'm like, I want something. - Do you want to keep dropping t-shirts for 20 grand a year, pussy, I'd love to do that. 20 grand a year sounds like a great business. - I like this idea. - I do a little milk. - He likes it. - I like this idea. - You talk to him about this for 15 minutes and he's shit. - And we put, and we change his warehouse. - Hey, do you want to meet him? - I should fuck up for a second. - Do you want to meet him? - We just think about our talking. - We fill the warehouse with, hey. And just we have cows down there. (keyboard clicking) And we feed those cows so well, we make wag you ice cream. - Oh. - You know what I'm saying? - We get, we get, we get the most beautiful cows that are fed so well, that the ice creams got it's, you know how the wag you's got the marbling? - Yeah. - The ice cream has, the ice cream's made of meat. - Oh. - The ice cream's made of meat. - And the ice cream's made of meat. - What does this mean? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? - Oh, no, it sounds good. - We make the first ice cream tartar. - The meaty cream. - What the hell do you just say? - What the fuck? - We're out. - It's horrible. - Dude, yeah. - You have to save this idea. You have to left the meeting. - I'm going to need this. - First off, I'm going to need him to lead this. - Thank you. I mean, yeah, duh. - But I'm the merch guy. - No, you're out. - Oh my god, no. Because he's leading this, he's also leading merch. - Oh, merch to your meeting guy. - Dude, why do you go hose the outside of the building? - Dude, hold it out for the cows. - Oh, you want the cream as meaty as it could be. - No. - Oh god. - And that's just a knock. - That's just misunderstanding the slogan. - Oh, we're not getting, we're going to a Spencer. - We're going to say we're going to a Spencer buddy. - Well, we tell him the company slogan. - The company slogan is, is mogla ice cream. Bill up. - Mobile ice cream, fill up. - Bill up. - And meat is implied. The meat is implied. You don't make it so direct. I shouldn't have to tell you that. - We'll fill you up with our creamy meat. - That's what it would be if you were around. - If you were the company. - Embroider that on a patch, you fucking idiot. - We'll fill you up with our meaty cream. - Yeah, that's not that bad, you're right. - How much would a neon sign cost for that? - $100 million. - Yeah, fill yourself in. - That's actually wouldn't even make it. They'd think it's sexual, probably. - No. - You don't think about their censorship laws. We need to get this approved in Saudi Arabia. There's a lot going on here that you never think about. - We never think about it. - We get a little pop up stand at Beesland, and we'd sell it. The little Saudi Arabia. - I'm going to put you on to something. I'm going to put you on. - Right, right hand. - Joyride, guess what he's made of. - What? - Meat, 90%. - Yeah. - They don't put that on the package. - No. - Why would you put it on the package? - You don't want to eat meat, candy. - Why wouldn't they put that on the Ryan Trayhand? Try my meat, that's why. - People don't want to know. - A lot of people would like meat. They just want to eat it. - Ask what feasible is. - Meat. - Meat. - Meat. - Meat. - Is it more similar to meat? - Yes, it is. - It is mostly, that is mostly meat. - And one guy found some person in it. - Which is also meat. - That's being investigated. - That's not, that's not confirmed. - It's not denied. - You don't throw out the cattle with the cow. - People are meat. - I've so much, I've so much to learn about business for you guys. - If you would just pay more attention, man. - I came in, I came in like you. I was like, oh, that's dumb idea. And now I've understood the line. - You came in, he wouldn't shut up. He went, I, he kept going, I hate getting wet. - Let's not even bring that up. - I'm still, stand by that. - And please start by that. - Turn it to ice cream, he goes, what if it melts? - And we're like, what do you, what do you, what does it even happen? - The meat stops it from, yeah, it's not even, there's a cream. - And you know what, that made me feel safe. And now I'm on board with this idea. All my financing, I know this guy is a hard money man. - By the way, all his money's invested in this. That's why he's to finance his car. - I borrowed, I borrowed money from a man, the hard money man to use to, for this. - To make sure, new flavor, okay? New, new mogulment with no more ice cream. - What would your flavor be? - It's all meat. - What would mine be? - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Gary. - Nope, Aiden's meat, you're not getting it. - Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about? - I'm talking to you. - Aiden's meat. - Gary, Aiden's meat. - Where are you from? - Aiden's meat. - The flavor is said. - This is clearly an exception. It's Aiden's meat. - Aiden's meat, that could work. - But they didn't want Ryan, tray hits meat? - Yeah, but people want Aiden's meat, it's different. - People want Aiden's meat. - They're gonna want Aiden's meat. - One's a sex symbol, the other's a religious YouTuber, a sex symbol. - Wait, is he religious? - Yeah, so he loves God. - Yeah, he loves God. - Married at 20 fucking three. - For real? - Yeah. - Is this another fucking George Floyd situation? - Don't say it like that. - What is that mean? - Don't say it like this. - What is that mean? - Well, let's hear 'em out. - His name is George Floyd. - I want you to explain to me. - Don't say what's his name, and then name a different black person. - No, god damn it. Is this another David Ghetto situation? - No. - You got him confused with George Floyd? - No, because that's his song. He says-- - He did the song at the fucking time. - Oh. - He's stupid asshole. - I am stupid. - I'm naive. - I'm a stupid. - I'm his infant child like. - This is not a David Ghetto situation. - No, no. - No, no. - So Ryan Trayan is some sort of religious hell. - He's an alcoholic. - Ryan Trayan is a married child. - Okay. he was.
Just like Rubin Albo's Charlie Kirk type of guy. - No, no, I would think Charlie is more of a political leader than a religious leader. - Was. - What, he's dead. - Ryan. - What? - I'm sorry, how are you guys, what? - Charlie Kirk was killed. - What? - No, no, I would've found out about that. - He was killed a couple months ago. - I don't, I think I've got to beat on things, I have to. - I have a political podcast. - What's the last thing you heard about Charlie Kirk? - Charlie, he was doing some rallies for Trump. He went on right after Killtoni, yeah, the one thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's probably, and then he went kind of quiet after that. - Kind of quiet, right? (laughs) - Vacation? - What's the connection? - Let's say, so yeah, starting to break this to you guys, but yeah, your Ryan Trayhan's buddy. - That's the worst Christmas ever. - It's a very Ryan Trayhan's brother. - I'm sorry, I don't know what fucking Ryan Trayhan is. I'm just talking out my ass. He probably doesn't like sorry. - Ryan Trayhan is surfer Christian. - Oh, okay. - Not, not. - He makes awesome videos. - He's not cowboy Christian. - And he loves God. - This is what, right? I thought this was Jack Doherty, not fucking me. - You know what, to be fair, he does look. - Jack Doherty. - Jack Doherty. - He can see that. - It's like nature versus nurture. Like, they could've looked the same. - Right. - But one went down a more evil path. - It's this happy castle expert. Could you confirm this for me or not? If I recall correctly, I was surprised to find out that he found his faith like later in his life. He was not raised in it. - No, he became religious through his wife. - Yeah. I, yeah, okay, I get it. - I see this now. - What does that mean? - I get it now. - It just makes sense. - You get it, immediately. - I don't know. - There's a King of the Hill episode. It covers all this. Just watch that. - Makes sense. - All the sense. - Anyway, so this guy made candy. - Yes. - That's awesome. - And so you're gonna make ice cream. - I'm gonna make ice cream. - That's a good idea. - Actually, it's kind of like you're gonna make ice cream as in like you were gonna make pizza or is it? - No, we're pivoting the business, buddy. I want you and go on the cows. - Oh, dude, anywhere's the farmer kuts out fit? - You would love it. - You and would love over all. - Like a lot of weeks, Yingling will be gone for like hours at a time in the middle of the workday, right? And he'll have to run an errand at Ludwigs or he has to do some random task in Los Angeles and pick up some insanely large arcade machine that Ludwigs wants. And next week, it's going to be him just walking into the warehouse with cows. - With wagyu cows. Kogashima specifically is the reason we're gonna go for it. - And he's gonna walk into like Ludwigs on a cows. - They're kogashima cows. - Yeah, I'm gonna go on a cows. - Oh my cow, I don't fucking know. - It's like a kogashima. - With the same amount of annoyance he does while setting up like a realistic driving setup or something. - He holds his phone in one hand like this and he types so flawlessly, so quickly with one time, he's just like, there's kogashima cows and it's like they cause it. You know how much they cost, David? - Yeah. Oh, man. - They're expensive those kogashima cows. - I mean, they speak Japanese. - Yeah, and that's a whole language. - There's three different alphabets that we gotta figure out. - Are you, I mean, ask you a question, Ludwig, with your Chinese. Are you gonna really try to learn that before you go? - I'm like, basically there. - Okay, can I ask you to say a sentence? - Yeah, just give me a simple one, okay? Say, my name is Ludwig, and I'm looking for the nearest store. - Can you say that, Aiden? - I can say the first one. - You don't wanna say it, but could you say that? - I can say the first half, so I can- - My name is Aiden, the thing they teach you in the first day of your Chinese year. - Shing Chinese, Cantonese. - Oh, I can't say, find the nearest - I'm not feeling greedy or anything, just give me whatever you're strongest in. - Even the first half. - Can I do English? - Nope, nope, gotta be Chinese. - Okay, English defeats the purpose. - You just said what, there we go. - Sure, I guess you asked. - No, I said what you're strongest with. It was applied Chinese. - Okay. - But you only listed Chinese there. - Yeah, I would go, I would go, I would start off. - Yeah. - And I'd be like, you know what I'm on. And then you'd ask me a question. - I would just say, hey. - After you can see her. - Oh, that's a- - That's a love. - That's a love. - Okay, how you done? - This is actually a realizing, you don't know any Chinese. - Zero. - And then you go, anyhow. And I go, we'll shoot a lot of wig. And then I go, yeah, we'll shoot a bob, y'all. And then, that would be what you're asking for. - It sounds like you said the same thing a couple times. - It's unlike you try to say it in reverse. (laughing) - That's just what it sounds like. - Yeah, you know what I mean? - It actually would play any Chinese phrase in reverse. And it says, "Murder, murder, Jesus." (laughing) - It's such a small language. - Yeah. - It's beautiful actually. Like Jay-Z's song. - Did I pass your test? - You clearly don't know the language. - You said I'm basically there. - He was grimacing while you did. Also, he, what do we, he says that you speak city slicker? - Chinese. - Yeah, he speaks with a pathetic Beijing accent. - Oh. - I don't speak with a bell you can- - And he speaks of the waking man- - Barely speak. - Uh oh. - China mug. - China mug. - China mug. I should China mug. - What is that China mug by a white man? - I go through my sixth sentence rotation with a Beijing accent. God forbid. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And thanks for actually accepting that. - I'm going to China, bro. - I'm doing my best. - We know you're going to China. - No, I'm going like the first week of January. - Oh, are you doing that, or can I say what it's for? - Well, you're going and coming back to going again. - Is that a secret? - Yeah. - Whoa. - Uh, you can say it. - He's doing an ad. - An ad that's leaked. - Yeah, you leaked it, dude. So he was obviously kidding, because he felt pressured. - Yeah. - If you made a feel pressured in the end of the moment. - Ad for what? - I'm going to, to do road to Empress. - Fuck is that? - So I'm starting to, but I'm going to act. I'm going to act in a game. I'm going to have a Thespian. I'm acting. - You're a Thespian in a game. - What? - That legal enjoy. - I think, first off, they're not having me be a Thespian. But second off, yeah. - It is. - Oh, that's nice. - I'm going to be an actor. - I don't know what it is. - Just imagine I'm going to star in like, what's an equivalent American, like a Marvel movie? - It's just like a show. - It's a game. - It's a game. - They're acting in a game. - There it is. - Oh, and this is like Marvel. - Didn't you like play this? - In terms of like budget, yeah, I played it, yeah. - Oh my god, bro. This is so fun. - Are you going to be dressed up like that? - Well, I'm not going to be a fucking 2025 western guy. Yeah, I'm going to be dressed up like that. - Can we make you contain Dynasty wardrobe? - Can you just be her for me? - I can't be Cyrus Wu. - What? - What's her name? - Yeah, it's Cyrus Wu. She's main character. All of Black Ops 7 looks like that. (laughing) - And then there's, oh my god, this is sad B&G. - Sad B&G? - No, I mean, what happens? - Is that an alternate? - What happens to B&G's? - Sad. - What, what happened to him? - Oh, Lee Tai. - Wait, so who are you going to be? Like American Dave? - What is this shit? - I don't know my role yet. - Well, you ever seen the first season of Yugioh and they're on the island? There's the one American guy? Joey? - No, there's the one American guy and he has like a fucking literally Davidson vibe to him. - Joey's Japanese is from Brooklyn. - Yeah, but in the original subversion, it's all Japanese voice actors, right? - And they have an American guy. - And so they have an American guy. - Character. - Okay. - And that American guy. Can you look him up, zipper, Yugioh, American guy? And is he just like, have like a broker on his shirt? And like-- - Yeah. - Hello! - It's funny you say that because it's almost like-- (laughing) He's got like a, well don't get me started 'cause I'll get offended if-- - I think they started badmouthing my country. - Bandit Keith Howard? - That's a guy. - Oh! - Wait, this is the coolest character ever. - He looks tough, bro, this was like Paul from Tekken. - Bandit Keith. So I would be the Bandit Keith. - That's a dope dude. You'd kill that for Christmas. - No, I wouldn't be-- - Just be Christmas for Halloween. - Oh, yeah, that'd be a good one. - That's good for you. - I wouldn't be American though. - What? - America didn't exist in the Tang Dynasty. - That's fucking crazy. - At least it's like-- - So you'd be friends. - Political nation. - You'd be friends. - I don't think France existed. - What year is it? - 400. - You'd be European. - Let me send me back to 400, I figure out Xbox. - You'd have Xbox booted up. - Oh, I'd have that shit. - You'd crack that? - Yeah. - And literally still wouldn't-- - Internet, I'd be behind on, but I got Xbox. - It's like back in time. I'm there. We all have to throw rocks and play Moncala. Nick makes Xbox, and I'm like, "Ah, I can't do it." - Still can't do it. - What year? - I'm still on Moncala. - Dude, looks fun. - Actually in year seven, but like, looks like a one-of-a-kind invention for all of mankind can't get there though. - Can't get there mentally. (laughing) - There's a camera back around it. - Dude, I got an argument with a guy on Reddit because he was, this is a while ago, but he was basically in one of those lives from Phil Threads being like, "I just really hate how Ludwig is getting into bed with the Chinese and becoming this weapon of propaganda for the Chinese movement." And I was like, and he's like, he's associating with all these Chinese companies and shake sends me this 'cause it was so insane. So, and I replied, I'm like, "What Chinese companies? What are you talking about?" And he's like, "I don't know, but I just know there's some." I'm like, "What are they?" Anyway, so I'm DMing with this guy, and we're just having it out.
I looked through his profile. I found out he is in the glory hole. So pregnant. (laughing) And then which is fine. - Man, he's looking, he's investigating. - No, no, he was looking for. - If China's gonna hide somewhere in Australia, where? (laughing) - They're gonna, you know, look. - I was only trying to find the Chinese spot. - No stone unturned. - I felt like a Chinese mouse. - The problem was that I told the guy I was like, "Bro, you really left that guy hanging in the glory hole threat?" 'Cause this one guy was talking to him like, "Is this a good spot for like a lunchtime suck off or something?" And the guy just didn't respond to him. And it was, I was like, you left that guy hanging. - He's fucked up. - And then he blocked me, but he deleted his comments. - In the glory hole subreddit? - No, no, in the. - I started posting double time in the glory hole subreddit. - Guys, we've been discovered. - Square. - Yeah, it was really funny. But I guess my argument's out the window because you're doing this Chinese propaganda. - Yeah, now you're an enemy of the US state. - I'm promoting the four or five plot line. Where Siren Wu ends up with Lee Tai. - That's, dude, who are they gonna, I keep thinking what they're gonna do with you. Like, you know what I mean? - I imagine it should just be like a regular character, like a Chinese man. - They need someone who speaks fluently. - Yeah. - So they asked you and you're gonna. - And I would just, you know, I'd dress up in traditional, plain dancing clothing. - But you use it, like the subtitles play out full, but the voice line every time is all shirt-leveling. (laughing) - Dude, I cannot, I hope the production timeline is so fast. I just wanna play a game where you're one of the guys in it. - I think I'll do really well. - Walmart? - So you're gonna be playable character? - It's no, you can only play Siren Wu. - The whole game revolves around a Tang Dynasty era historical event, where this is the only time a woman was ever queen. - Empress. - You can say what you can call it what it is. - I didn't know if you understood those terms. - Oh, it's a card in blotter. I don't know. - Give you two planets. - And she rose from the rank of Siren to Empress. And so it's about her rise. - Her rise? - Her rise. - To become Empress. - Dude. - Ludwig invited to be in road to Empress too, invite extended to Northern Lion as well. - Yeah. - He's broken up in there, that's what I care about. - I wanna do romance plotline with Northern Lion. I want it. - Yeah, but he doesn't leave the fucking house. - But I want the romance plotline with him. - He doesn't care what you want. - Ah, he's bold, like a snowman. - You know what he does? - He's gonna go on a Disney cruise. - He loves them cruise. - That's what he's gonna do. He's gonna go on a Disney cruise for seven days. You won't get a stream from him. - He'd be cruising. - And then he's gonna, yeah, he's 40. - Yeah, he cruises and you know what else he does. - He's not 40. - He plays Xbox with Nick. - That's happening. - NL would not play Xbox with Nick. - Oh really? - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Wouldn't happen. - Play on your face. - Play on your face. - Play on your foot, custer on your face. - No. - Yeah, guess who has the guest Xbox for the show right now? - He set it up. - He's got it. - Yeah, he does things that are a little hard sometimes. - I told him the idea and he was like, I love that. - Persox. - And he beat the game. Nobody's gone to PSL here more than me. - He skipped the last three of it. - Yeah, but I was busy all by. - Hmm. - Hmm. - What, what, what, what about Carla? (laughing) - That was good. - He's learning. - How do you learn? - He's like, I'm bad news by the way. - What? - Time to go. - Time to go. - It's bad. - I really don't know. - I always have to shit. - Why did you push through? - Because I just wanted to be, I didn't want to miss any. - I had 10 minutes left and I had to just to shit. - I don't like being in time with the show. - All right. - But just wanted to do a final goodbye if that's right. - Yeah, you can go for it. - So, just want to say Merry Christmas. - Oh. - Archie Q Music. - Merry Christmas. - And, you know, thanks for watching. - Another year that you are. - This last year. - Woo. - Last year? - Oh, like the last year. - This last year? - Yeah. - Thanks for watching the last year. - I think you guys have probably should be hanging out with your families right now. But if you hate your family or you don't fucking have one, then it's dope as fuck to hang out with your friends and say, and if you fucking hate your friends and don't have those, maybe, I don't know, start a sport. - Glotro. - Balotro is very fun game. But hopefully this 90 minutes was nice to listen to or watch. Don't watch us on the big screen. We think it's weird. - I'm actually, no. - We think it's on the big screen around your family. - If you're watching us on TV with your girlfriend, which I learned some of you do, we think it's weird. (laughing) - I'm gonna go put a 25 kill streak in the toilet. And I hope you have a great holiday season. - Happy holidays. We're gonna do with the primo. Tomorrow, one of us won't be here, but it won't be for the reason you think it'll be a three a man. - And to make up for it, this is Aidan's rendition of Silent Night. - Silent Night, bye. - Play us out. - Silent Night. - Play credits over the Sargeo. Is he credits while you singing, keep singing? - I don't know. - Me either, actually. - The rest is bright. - He's literally three words. - I've been sung the song in a while. - Just cut the tape. - Here with my friend. - He's kind of killing this. - He sounds good. - One more, one more. - You're with my friends. - Come on, I need it. - Here's my friends. - Come on. - Come on. - Come on. - I won't be with tomorrow. - Okay. - Yeah, that's good. - All right, are we still in the episode? ♪ Heavenly peace ♪ ♪ Leaping heavenly peace ♪ - Wow.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The group experienced a norovirus outbreak around Christmas, leading to severe stomach symptoms, fever, chills, and intense physical discomfort.
Symptoms were described as debilitating, including shivering, body aches, and extreme cold, with one member experiencing a dramatic drop in body temperature despite heavy use of heating blankets.
A theory emerged suggesting exposure to a Japanese restaurant during a prior trip, with a connection to a norovirus outbreak linked to a Japanese woman working in a salvage job.
The group humorously attributes their illness to shared exposure at a Christmas dinner, with one member joking that the virus spread through a "demon dream" or "hallucination" involving a blanket and cold.
A recurring theme is the physical and emotional discomfort of pooping in freezing conditions, with one member relying on a bidet to prevent severe pain and bleeding.
Members share personal stories of food poisoning, including a past incident with Chibo salmon, and note that some people do not develop aversions despite illness.
The group reflects on their shared experiences, emphasizing camaraderie and mutual support during illness, with a sense of unity formed through honest, unfiltered discussions.
The episode ends with a light-hearted note about holiday gifts, unresolved friendships, and future plans, including potential changes in gift-giving habits.
Summary:
The group shares a humorous yet heartfelt account of a norovirus outbreak that occurred around the holiday season. They describe severe physical symptoms, including intense shivering, body aches, and extreme cold, despite using multiple heated blankets. The outbreak appears to have been contracted during a shared Christmas dinner, though one member suggests exposure to a Japanese restaurant as a possible origin.
The stories blend personal anecdotes—like a painful incident with Chibo salmon and a bidet that saved their bottom from injury—with surreal hallucinations and inside jokes, such as dreaming of being strangled by blankets or a "bubble man" in a bathroom stall. The group bonds through their shared suffering, forming a sense of camaraderie while joking about the absurdity of their experiences. Amid the chaos, they reflect on personal habits, like avoiding certain foods or refusing to discuss their bowel movements, and offer light-hearted commentary on gifts, friendship contracts, and future resolutions.
The episode ends on a warm, self-deprecating note, celebrating their resilience and the unfiltered honesty that defines their dynamic.
FAQs
The group contracted norovirus, a common stomach virus that causes nausea, vomiting, chills, and body aches, likely from exposure at a holiday dinner or through shared environments.
They experienced extreme shivering, body aches, and intense coldness, even under multiple blankets, with some describing hallucinations and a feeling of being in a 'horrific' state.
No, the group attributes their illness to norovirus, not food poisoning, though they note that norovirus is sometimes referred to as a type of foodborne illness.
The bidet helped reduce the need for excessive wiping after bowel movements, preventing irritation and bleeding, which made a significant difference in comfort and hygiene.
Yes, they shared stories like moaning during illness, hallucinations involving blankets and demons, and jokes about the 'bubble man' Ludwig, who was said to be having extreme bathroom-related noises.
One member suggests they may have been exposed to norovirus years earlier at a Japanese restaurant, indicating a possible link between past visits and the current outbreak.
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