Ep. 229 - Chatting with FanFan

[MUSIC] Who the fuck is Fiona? >> Me. >> [LAUGH] >> Who's that? >> You're for real? >> Who's talking? >> Did you think her name was- >> [LAUGH] >> Did you think her name was Fanfan? >> Did I think her name was Fanfan? And I think that when we are given a name from the government when we are born, it is our job to shed that name. >> Yeah, and it shouldn't come from Shrek, I think. [LAUGH] >> I think if our parents name us has your Shrek, we should get a free gun. >> If she was here, we could ask her. We could be like, did your parents name you after the love interest in Shrek about the ogre? >> But because she's not, it could really only be that? >> I'm just so sad on the fact that he was like, yeah, Fanfan, that's probably Chinese sound. >> [LAUGH] >> I'm saying that, that's a fan, that's it, you easily can be a Swedish name, that's on dearly too. >> That's true. >> Fan, fan. >> Yeah. And I think that's what you thought. >> I didn't think anything, I don't think about anything. You know what I do? I came in, I played ballature in front of Dan, I'm teaching him the game, and every round I go, I fuck makes us there. >> Yeah. >> He has been doing that a lot. He keeps coming up to, he whispers in my ear, he said, and I fuck makes us there. >> I kiss him when we do anything he can say anymore. >> How long can we talk about that until we let her go down? >> Well, do you want to introduce your French man who loves Incest? >> Sure, but if Gail's, I would like to present Fanfan! >> Fanfan! [APPLAUSE] >> Let's see it. >> I'm going to be, oh my God. >> Good job. That might be the least graceful, I'm seeing that when it's so graceful. >> I do think she achieved a speed that I haven't seen. >> There was a top speed velocity. But you have to, it's a balance because you're too fast. >> That was really scary. >> You start to realize the kids slide. >> You're welcome to the Yard podcast. >> No. >> I thought we started? >> Have you seen this? >> We started. >> No. >> What? Good question. I've seen a single episode. >> I know. >> No. >> I listened to Liam's episode because I heard it was really good. >> Really? >> I do love Liam. >> It was a psychological exploration. >> Yeah, what do you think of him? >> I don't know. I was playing Sadogu during it. >> Okay. >> But Liam's cool. >> Playing Sadogu. You have a book, like 100 Sadogu. >> No, what on my app? >> Sadogu daily. >> Yes. >> Sadogu is one of those things I feel like, you know, famously you can do also while listening to something else. >> Sometimes get a lock in. >> I get a lock in on the numbers. >> Is a hard one. >> Are you high level Sadogu? Are you doing, is it three? >> Is it three? >> Is it three by three? Or are you higher than that? It's always three by three? >> No, nine by nine. >> No, it's bigger, right? It's always on my nine. Doesn't it get bigger? >> No, it's Sadogu. >> How many minutes? >> How many minutes? >> Sadogu is harder. >> It's like the map. >> The number of, yeah. >> The numbers are already there. >> They might have thought you get it. >> But there's like a cap. You can't just keep making it bigger. >> No, they don't. >> It's always never make it bigger. You keep your real answer. >> It's never make it bigger. >> They never make it bigger. >> He gave it up. >> He saw that like AI Rubik's Cube that was 47 by 47. >> I got the Sadogu. >> Steven, what's the biggest thing? >> I don't know. >> No, this is like a thing. >> Maybe I should have never tried Bigger Sadogu before. >> Bigger Sadogu. >> Sadogu. >> The daily 16. Oh my God. >> I don't know what the letters are about. >> No, we're getting too far. >> You can modify Ocarina of Times code with this Sadogu. >> That's right. >> There are these little books at the grocery store when you check out. And there are a lot of them are like cryptograms and different types of puzzles. And there are a lot of Sadogu. And I remember seeing that like the pages, they just get bigger and bigger. >> Oh, shit. >> I was like, that's crazy. I'm never going to do that. >> It sounds like torture. >> Why Sadogu? >> Why Sadogu? >> I don't know. I think it's like an Asian thing. I just like numbers. >> Ooh. >> So I feel that too sometimes. >> There's this kind of Chinese time in your life. >> I know. I just, I've always loved numbers. It's weird. >> What do you think of Ludwig being Chinese? >> I think it's fair. I think I've read stuff about him being racist for learning Chinese. I think it's fair. I think it's decent. I think he could be Chinese. >> Yeah. >> Do you find it odd that he jumps from Asian culture to Asian culture? >> Specifically. >> Yeah. >> Like, specifically. >> No, maybe he's just Asian all these days. >> Yes, thank you. It's not weird because I'm Asian. >> He was Japanese. >> He was Japanese. >> What are we doing? >> The Asian Rachel Dolezal. >> I got 99% of the way there. I was a little off. I was on the wrong coast. >> You've arrived at your true self. >> Like, I felt like it was there. But I was like, something was off. And I was like, maybe. >> We're so happy for you. >> I'm so happy for you. >> I don't want to say this. >> Please. >> I thought about it. >> We were in France and he did this whole bit about he got molested as a child as a French person. And now he's too squeamish to take. >> He also has a French sister. >> I think it makes it a little weird. - We played CS here last night. - Mm-hmm. - It was so weird. - Yeah, we did a land. - Yeah, we landed, dude. - It's so fun. - We did a land, we went over for it. - It was really good because Emily was using his account. Wait, that's fine, that's fine. - Okay, Emily was using his account. - Show value of fuck. - Oh, yeah, fuck, bro. - And then someone recognized them after we played them. So it looked like aircoots went to an 18. - No, no, no, no, she went one in 16, bro. - We're playing on Dust. And with me and Yingling's accounts, are they paying one, paying two. - It's me, Squeaks, Ludwig, Fanfan, and Extra Emily. - Oh my, crazy. (laughing) - But Extra Emily is genuinely out there shooting herself in the head every round. - Right, right. - And Squeaks stole Aiden's PC. - Dude, actually stole it. - And made Aiden use Calbee's PC. - Which, dude, you got big. - I did, I got all of my PC for him to try it. And then we just never swapped back. - You never swapped and then he changed my keyboard. - Yeah, yeah, you're a pathetic coward, yeah. - Is that disgusting? - You're discussing for letting a man do that. - Well, after one and a half games, Aiden shut down. And I was like, Aiden, he's like, I'm leaving after this one. - What happened? - Hold on, I have to go. - Hey, he's like, I have to go. - I have to go. (laughing) - Because I promised, I have to go. - The vibes were really funny 'cause when he first arrived at the PC, he was like, we got this, guys. - Yeah. - He was fist bumping all around. He was like, nice to see you. - Nice to see you. - And by the end of it, he was going, - Well, the user was happy. (laughing) - It's miserable. - Aiden's making calls, right? Aiden's like, I didn't win gray guard to site. And then Emily walks in. And she doesn't know where fucking gray guarders side are. And he definitely doesn't. We've had 20 years to know gray guard. And I've had to do this, I give you that. - I did, I see him going, smashing his headset. - Messaging the other team, like we're, okay, so this girl's part of a special program. We let her dunk the ball. (laughing) - And then everyone in the stadium collapsed. - And then we go back to the game, but just for this one play. - So you got pissed? - No, the only person I was actually mad at was Squeak. - I didn't get pissed. - They were robbing the PC. - I didn't get pissed at it. - And then we went into a game. - So you're having fucked up keybons. - What are those keybons? Why the weird? - He doesn't have a school weird shit, bro. - He doesn't have his like nades like bound to anything. So you have to like scroll through them. - He scrolls for Nade? - That's good. - You know, he taps four to get to the right nade. - Which I like way better, 'cause I'm fucking mashing my head on Ningo's keyboard. 'Cause I'm trying to figure out which fucking button is Nade versus Molly. - I didn't have my diffuse. - Oh yeah, that was funny. - That's a crucial one. You don't need it if you don't let 'em plant. - Nade and leaves, and then we have a fill. And then, and then fanfare's not talking in game. I'm like fucking game. She's like, I'm nervous. - There were randoms. - 'Cause it's a random and I'm a girl. - And they were your opinion. - So then it's smooth things over. I hop in and I go, girl, you. (laughing) - I go, hello. - And then what do you say? - You said, why are you gay? - Yes. - And why are you gay? - He did say, when a Russian accent, why are you gay? And then you had a bunch of money and you wouldn't buy anyone 'cause you're too slow in the buy menu. - Yeah. - And so it goes, he goes. - He's a cool woman. - Typical woman have money, but never spends it or something. (laughing) - Giving all the stereotypes wrong. - Yeah, that's the wrong thing. - Yeah, in a Russian accent too. - Yeah. - Cool, why, okay, can I ask, surely there are better games to boot up than scounders, right? - Yeah, why did we play CS? - 'Cause we walked in on you playing CS and Squeaks also really wanted to play. - Squeaks loves playing CS. - How was playing Diabas? - Oh, yeah, that's true. - He was, bro, in playing a Diablo, bro. - Which one? - Diablo four. - Wow, that's what I know. I walked in there. - Oh, my friends are shocked. - I don't think we're shocked. 'Cause I don't look like one game. - Yeah. - There you go. - There you go. - And you're gay? - You're crazy. Like, guys, it's better. - It's just like Squeaks. - I mean, you guys, we had this conversation about being a gamer. And like, you haven't played, if we pull up, I guess it was just trying being a gamer. - Oh, game awards, game of the year nominations. - What? - I think if we go through the past 10 years, you're over. - I just wanted to try and start a game. - Oh my god, yeah, probably. Like, Expedition 33, Wu Kong, Elden Ring. - I don't think he's hit one ever. - Wait, what's the one game you play? - Aiden. - Right now, Counter-Strike. - He plays Counter-Strike. - Oh, okay. - In this Smash Brothers game. - He'll do like one multiplayer game and just get addicted. Biffin, are you a gamer? How many of these you played? - Only two. - What is it, Donkey Kong and Aza? - Noah's Expedition 33 and Silksong. - Nice, okay. - What was your first video game? - First, like PSP, does that count? - Yeah. - Yeah, my first ever PSP was a grand charisma. - I was like, that's all your PSP. - No, no, no, no. - Okay. - Guys, how old are you? - How old are you? - What were you asking? - 25. - Okay, okay. PSP first, that makes sense. - That's fucked up. I was like, PSP, your first game? - Can I come clean? I need to apologize to you. - To me, specifically, you're all alone. - Oh, I'm just looking at you, but her. - Oh. - Oh. - Did it just not make you feel respected? - You're one of us ones. Me and you. - Okay. - And I was asking how old you were, and you said 25, or no, you said guess maybe, like the classic, and I said 30. - I think that's a compliment though. - And I said it 'cause I did as thought you were my age, and then you said 25, and I was like shell shocked, 'cause I thought you'd like streamed as long as me, but I feel like-- - Oh, no, I started in, like, end of 2020. - Whoa. What was that? Where are you at in life? Why COVID? What was the big switch? - COVID? - You're just COVID. Like, what are you doing for work or whatever? - I was a student. I wasn't, like, she was about to go to gay-beary. Is it a bomb? Is it a fuck out of it? (laughing) - That's all streamed. - That's all streamed luck. - So what's the apology? - For saying you look, or not, I didn't say you look. I just added this now. For saying you're 30. - No, I decided it's a compliment to me. - Okay. - I decided I like when people think I'm older. - Okay. - How long do you think that'll last, though? - You think so? - So until I'm 30. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then it's, really. - Then she returns. - And then I'll be looking for the answer 21. - 21. (laughing) - She did that yesterday. It was really embarrassing, didn't she? - No, it's good. - It's lovely in public. - No, it wasn't here. - It's kind of tragic. - It's back. - I like it. - It hit. It hit there, too. - It hit there, too. - It hit there, too. - My PC was so bad, it couldn't run a Phasmaphobia or Fall Guys. - Oh my. - Lee is beautiful. - I can't take it. - He's gonna run Lee. - Yeah. - God, the game is so awesome. - Yeah, you run that on the smart fridge that gives you schizophrenia. And then Lee gives you the schizophrenia. - Dude. - Wait, were you good at school? - Yeah. - Like, what college are you going to? - You see Berkeley. - Oh, shit. - Berkeley. - What? - I did, but my GP was like, it was horrible. It was like 2.7 or something. - What's your degree in? - Biochem and philosophy. - That's crazy, do you? - What do major? - Do you like Sart or Kamu more? - Kamu. - Yeah. - Probably. - That's fine, to say. - It is okay. - What dude? - What? - What do you know? - What knowledge? - Yeah. - Do you like Sharsford? - For Sharsford coming Puma. (laughing) - You got that one. - Fuck y'all. - If you could under a 3.0 from Berkeley, you should get like a cow poly slow degree instead. (laughing) - They said you a different degree. - Yeah, you shouldn't. Like, can you get like a degree from Harvard with a 1.4? - Dude, you get over the line, you get over the line. - 1.4 is too low, 1.4 is a good D plus. - 2.0? - Yeah, too, yeah, easily. - That's crazy. - That's 2.0 from Harvard and they send you a UCR degree anyway. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, like in the same bowl. (laughing) - And your heart rate is so much bigger. (laughing) - How many credits did you do? - I don't know. - You did a shit ton. - Yeah. - For a double major in those two, those who are unrelated. - I was, I didn't go school. I was like very depressed. I was playing league on my MacBook Air with no mouse. And then just, I'm really gonna take a test. - You were playing league on a MacBook Air track pack. - What if you're a piece of shit? - It fits in the middle. (laughing) - Does it work? (laughing) - Also presumably you may. - No, you're me without you. - You wasn't out yet. - What? - Back then. - That you're a fucking terrorist for doing that. - I'm a flat. - I don't care. (laughing) - A character comes out. You're like, I can do less. Dude, if my support is like, sorry, my MacBook's heating up right now. (laughing) I'm FF-ing. I don't wanna play anymore. - Sorry. (laughing) - This track pack is so hot. - I play on my belly, on my elbows. - Wait, what the fuck is going on? - I want you laying down forward. - But like Rudolph played melee. (laughing) - Yeah. - That's the Japanese guy who used to, he'd lay on his, on his stomach to play. But even on stage, she would have to have that turnimates. So he would set up a row of chairs from the venue, like in a three chair set up, and then still lay down on the chairs to play on stage. - What is that? - He was a great player. - And he was right. - He was close. - Yeah, they called him the Sphinx. - He's from the famous picture. I don't know, maybe you've seen it, the shirt. - He loved that shirt, bro. - That's the top right image is like the big one. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, that's rude off. - Everyone's seen this image, but no one knows where it's at. - I love this. - Yeah, I love the Photoshop where it's me, you, and then you has advanced instead. - Never forget, he came to a tournament I hosted once, and he was staying at my house, but he spoke, he spoke zero English. - Sleep standing up. - But you studied Japanese in college, so you had bridge conversations. - Barely helped. - My roommate, by chance, was like, it was Japanese. His name was by chance. (laughing) - Fuck, I'm pissed, I didn't think of that one. That made me angry. - It was right there, from all over the world. - I'm just ran the tournament. I was awake for like 20 hours straight. And I got, I wake up at 4 a.m. after two hours of sleep getting shaken awake by Rudolph. And he's like trying to explain to me something in Japanese. And I'm like, "Oh, what is wrong with me?" Like I have no idea what he's saying. And he calls somebody on the phone to translate. And he had missed his flight back home to Japan. - Oh, shit. - We had to book him a new one. But I'll never forget like being like, "No, it's to nose with Rudolph waking up." (laughing) And just having him yell, "Japan be what I'm saying to him." (laughing) - Just wake it up. - Get it, see why Rudolph might be like that. - Get up. - This is just a sign note. One of my favorite things is watching like a white person talking to an Asian person who doesn't speak any English and just saying speaking English very slowly. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - I love it. - Can you count it a little more smiley? - Yeah. - Like, yeah, America. - Can we do a little improv? I will be an Asian man who is 46 years old. And you are an American teenager abroad. And we're at a 7-Eleven, okay? And go. - Okay. - Hi, do you guys have a toilet here? Oh, do you have a toilet, a toilet? - Oh, oh. - Bathroom, amigo pee pee. (laughing) - And to protect myself, I won't say anything. (laughing) You can all fill in the blank of what that would be like. And see. - You're doing both character choices. - Yeah. (laughing) - To be honest. (laughing) - Yeah, that's a pretty standard. I like the idea. I talk to people who ostensibly don't understand English and also kids the same way, which is the way I talk to everyone. I use this like tone of like, how's it going? Like, you know, whether you're four-year-old. - It's a very crass around children. - I'm not crass around children. I actually don't like children. - He is his mom was here yesterday and I didn't swear. And he was like, dude, you can say, "Cunt." I didn't want to say. - Ew. - No, you can't. - And he made me say it in front of her. - I didn't mean to say it in front of his mother. - That's crazy. - No, I saw the matrix. - This is what happened. - I genuinely could never do them from home. - So I'm, we'll say, we're saying something very sweet about your lovely girlfriend. She was saying she was serving Cunt. But he said to my mother was serving C word. And I saw the matrix. I said, even if you said Cunt, she wouldn't know what that phrase means. So if you say serving C word, she's going to think that she's gonna fill in Cunt herself but not know what you're saying. Which is exactly what happened. She said, "Pussy came out." (laughing) She basically said, "Klai, was your dress really high?" And I'm like, "I would never say that." - About someone I jumped in to be like, "No, he was saying serving Cunt." That's a phrase and it means this. I just saw all of it. - No, but what you immediately said, when I said serving C word, she had a look on her face. And then you immediately, I said like, "You can say Cunt." - I said you can say that to her. - And I was like, "Jesus, Jesus." - I couldn't. - I wouldn't, I wouldn't. - But also this is on slime. Now I agree that time's in the vault. - What the fuck did I do? - You brought up the phrase. - You could've just said she looked ravishing. - I wanted to use Slade Cunt. - I feel like you slayed Cunt. (laughing) - It's so aggressive. - Yes. (laughing) - I so much love. (laughing) - Yuck. - Yeah, so who's the fucking evil fucker now? - He's the ear's fucking in it. - How old? - How old? - His mom shouldn't even be around here. - What? - What? - Tell her that. - Yes, it's his mom's fault. That's what you're saying. - Thank you. (laughing) - No, she's sweet. She's trying to form us all for baby. - She was 2020, Paris. (laughing) - The mom caused the Paris bomb. - You started a forcefire, she bombed Paris. - Okay, that's a crazy family. (laughing) - That's the forcefire lord. - No, it's like a joke. It's like an inside joke, right? - Like, did we have fun? - Like, among us, it was like in a game. (laughing) - I don't even remember a among-counter new thing. - Thanks for Chilo of, of, of, of, of, of. - Nah. - Your, your Belinda? - Like, not though. - Like, not though, right? - It's dead ass, 'cause we're going down to fours. - 'Cause the details are murky, we keep 'em that way. - We think, allegedly, burn to hold down. - Might have, might have done it. - Did you do your 25? How old do you think I am? - I think we talked about this, 33. - Ah, when we talked about it, I probably was. - Okay. - Now, 35. - Okay, yeah. - Then, okay, yeah. - Isn't that fucking crazy? I think about all the time. - No, you think, 10 years 30. - That's not crazy, but only 40 in five years. - That's, isn't that like, your prime? - Oh, for me, yeah, absolutely, yes, yes. Thank you, yes. - I learned to dunk by 40. - Yeah. - I believe it. - Why you laughing? - I just didn't think you'd do it. - I'm happy. - I'm so happy for it. - You think a white boy could do something like that. - But I can. - And eventually, one day, I don't dunk up basketball. - Enough time in, that'll save you. - That's right, I'm 5'10", and I can do it. - What do you think it would take for you to get like, really good at basketball? How many years or days, if you think that, you have practice until you're like, you're going to the pick up games where Aiden plays, and you're kind of like, people are drafting, you're like first four. - If I played basketball five days a week for an hour, I think I could, yeah, for a year, probably get to Aiden's level. - Oh my god, he's shaking. - Really? - It's too late for you. - That's it. So you start saying shit like that. People are gonna start saying shit like that to you and you're 35, you feel pretty bad. - Dude, I posted a TikTok and the comments were pushing 40 by the way. - Dude, they get so savage. - And I'm 30. - I know. - I know. - I'm barely pushing. Yeah, I am. - I'm close to 40, then you are to zero, you know? - They actually do say I'm close to 40 than 20, which is true by a couple of months. - For you. - Oh my god, you are. - So you're 25, you're adding this, you're in this period of your life where you don't have to fucking care about anything. - Me? - Yeah. In terms of like, because if I were to ask you, what are your big goals right now? - Oh yeah. - You would say-- - You probably have no aspirations to me. - Because that was the conversation we had a year ago, and I doubt things have changed. - No, that's true. I don't have any aspirations to come out. - Is it? - Yeah, actually-- - And I'm saying that's sick. - Yeah. - And enjoy that. - Yeah, I think I have less aspirations now. - Yeah. - Then why is that, has this-- - 'Cause I think I'm growing more and more comfortable in my-- - Oh, the pressure's going away. - Yes, I think she's like, "I've given up." - I just say that. - I'm giving up. - What do you have? - You know, the pressure, I'm giving up. - I'm 25, you know? - I'm 25, you're all going, "I'm giving up." - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - 70 years of life, what am I going to do? - And I've given up in a good way. Like, I don't care anymore. - Oh, like, you're on DGF mode. - Just tell myself, I like how the depression feels. (laughing) - The depression that she fucking calls. - I really like that. - The depression that she fucking calls. - The one that Scar once said on melee commentary, Super Smash Brothers melee commentary. He said, "Death is it scary? "Death is our friend, and for one, "it doesn't have to do with what we're talking about." But I never-- I think about that once a week, weirdly, is Bobby Scar saying, "Death is our friend?" And me being like, "Do I agree with that?" And it's like, "No, I don't want to die." - That's a week is a lot. - I know. - So it happens that you're 30 years old. - And he said it a long time ago. - I know he said it like 10 years ago. - That's a funny, 'cause if you asked him, remember when he said that, he'd be like, "I said that?" - Sometimes though, you ask him, she's like, "No, I actually do remember." And then the conversation gets crazy. - And then that conversation will be in the zeitgeist in your brain for a while. - That's right, that's how Bobby Scar affects you. - You do something most streamers I think, don't? - Me? - Yeah. - Which is what? - You go on vacation. - It was my first time. - That was it? - The Maldives? - Yeah, it was my first time. - Wait, tight though, nobody does it. - Yeah, it was sick. I haven't streamed in 10 days. - Oh my god. - Oh my god, are you afraid you're gonna go live and just no one's gonna be there? - Oh yeah. But like I said yesterday, I've given the-- - Who even gives a shit. I actually hope no one's there. That'll be awesome. - You should start a podcast. - That's like good. - It's so good. - That's the real giving up. - You are a streamer so you would start a podcast and then three months you would quit it and then never talk about it again. - Yeah, or you would do a revamp. You'd be like, we were coming back and it already, it'll be like five months in. (laughing) It's kind of in leave. - I've seen this, I won't name who it is, but someone messaged me like I'm starting podcasts where I love you have on. And I respect this person because I got love to be on. Let me tell you something though, I get this message a lot. I don't think you'll have this in a couple months. - Yeah. - It doesn't exist. It's just, I've seen it too many times. - Would your co-hosts or co-hosts or no one be? - I have no idea. I haven't thought about it. That's why. - On this gun you're gonna pick now, gun to your head. - It's remotely. - Oh my god. - And then you need a third. Historical figure, go. - Oh, I was thinking of a friend. - No, historical figure, it's the first time. - It was the first thing I know. - Right? (laughing) - We're on the same wavelength. - It's you extra-amily Hitler. (laughing) - And a young Adolf Hitler. - I'm trying to convince him to stop. - Oh my god. - He's always like, come on. - Oh my god. - It's artist Hitler, buddy. (laughing) - Oh my god, it's a time machine pocket. You go back at times. - Sure, some seven beats. That's the weapon of choice. Ring back to kill Hitler. - But you kill him with the power of love. - With podcasting and banter. - Yeah, and banter. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - You walkin' out of the Hitler. (laughing) - I'm hit on some of the scenes. - She's dressed like two beats. (laughing) - She's from Neural Thomas. - Oh my god. (laughing) - He's like, oh my god. - He's like, oh my god. So you should start one. Yeah, I should on dear. That's kind of a thing about you not starting one kind of cause the whole Holocaust. Think about that. So that's how I was about that weird you didn't start one. If I you kind of got to see me rap here, Zionism allocation is actually tonight. Can I get out of this? Guys, you know, I that love would told me if I rock climbed that I would get hurt. And I told him that he was a dumb bastard. Yeah, and then you did get hurt. I got actually both my hurt, but both my shoulders and you never rock climbed again. And I'm a side sleeper. So it pretty much made sleeping impossible. That wasn't till my healing sleep mattress. This is a real story because I took a sleep quiz and I needed a map. The problem was that because I sleep in the bed with someone else, I would sleep on. Oh, depends which day of the week. I just get it love you. I would sleep on evenly and then I'd wake up with a lot of shoulder pain. So I took the sleep quiz and I got a mattress. That was the right amount of firmness for both of us. And now I don't get my shoulder pain anymore. Wow, that's pretty dope. It kind of just fixed it for me. But if it didn't, you had a hundred night sleep trial and a limited lifetime warranty. Yep. And I can just ship it back and ship it back and pieces. I would chop it up probably because I wouldn't know how to fill it in the mailbox. I don't know if you like sleep takes it back. I'm not thinking of this. They have a guy. He glues the bed. They do so many good things. But I feel like that's maybe something that's highlighted in the limited. The lifetime of all our lifetimes are limited if you really think about it. Well, look, if you want to take the sleep quiz, if you want to fix your sleep like I did, you can go to helixleep.com/theard for 20% off-site wide. That's helixleep.com/theard for 20% off-site wide. And thanks to helix for sponsoring this week's episode. It's funny to be like, yeah, I listened to a podcast and then I bought a match. I bought a bed and that can actually be a funny story for you and your coworkers. Hey, you could do that. So, I listened to the yard and I went to helixleep.com/theard. Can you rank? Okay. In terms of vibes, rank your entire CS GO team that you played with last night from most fun to play with to least fun to play with, go. I think Squeaks was, well, okay, I always think I'm least fun to play with, but it's like, she's fun to laugh at, which is Team Jester. Yes, Team Jester, because she's just so lost all the time. But like, if we're talking like actually fun to play with, Squeaks was calming a lot. Okay. You know why Squeaks was calming a lot? Because he switched to my setup where the mic worked. I couldn't mic because my mic didn't work. Let her go through the list. You don't know where you're at. I think I'm complaining. Probably puts you really high. Sorry. No rock bottom. I think Emily's putting on a little bit of a show because she's like so good at piano and I'm like, you could be good. Oh, she's really good at mind sweeper and Tetris. Oh, really? Really good. I was watching her. I was watching Tetris coaching from her. She is really fucking good. Yeah, but she's just bad at like shooters. She's better at every other video game. Yeah, like she's better like running and I know I would know because I'm also bad at running. Yeah. So it's weird. It's weird sometimes. Okay, keep going. So it's Squeaks is the goat. He comes and he's nice to hang out with who is. Ludwig was fun in a different way. He was fun because he was communicating with a team who was fun in like a, let's have a fun conversation. He energy or vibe bigger vibes. Also, I am biased because I played more with Squeaks and Ludwig. Yeah, he's eight and left because he had to go. Yeah, he had to go. Yeah, yeah. He had to go. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm saying what you're saying. He's just saying the words. You're saying. No, you're right. And then. So who's last, I guess? Well, I need to go through the list. Oh, yeah. And then it's eight in because he kept the vibes up, you know, nice tries. But then he got mad. But it was silent. Yeah. He was mad at us. That's true. And it was fun to watch. And Emily's at the bottom because she's an Asian woman. Oh. Oh, yeah. But you know, it's funny. I have the same reason. But it's just. But it's okay. It's bottom bitch theory. She holds the team up. Like that. She needs to be. You know, it's good. It's good. Good to be at the bottom. Wow. Wow. No, you know, it's actually really impressive. Emily was actually frustrated, but she couldn't tell. What? Yeah, she gets mad, bro. Yeah. Because she's very competitive. But she wasn't mad at all. She was like, it's okay, guys. Of course. But are you going to tell like she was annoyed? She was like, interesting. Guys, I think I'm going to get off. I went downstairs and it was. It was weeks extra Emily and fanfan and they were watching a YouTube video and it's like general trivia. Yeah. And it's like 20 people in a room and they ask a question. It's like, what's the smallest country on earth? Yeah. And then the first person to get it is safe. And they go to the next round. And the last person to not answer is eliminated. And so they're like playing as if they're in the room. So you get like 20 chances, you know, in the first couple rounds, but then you only get like three chances. Answer a question like super fast. And so they're all playing along and and Squeaks is like, he's like, he's really in it. He's crushing it. And he's killing it. Yeah. And then Emily's chiming in and she's getting a couple wrong and I see her few. She's touching her fucking fist. Squeaks is fucking pulling out like magnolia, birch tree. And she's sitting there like saying dumb shit. Mimmo. She is an old school football helmet with one crossbar only. She's like, pretending she's on her phone, but she's really, she's like, wait, I laughed at that reference, but I don't get it. What does that mean? Like what, when you laugh at something that you don't get, what is, what's going on there? Like, I just want to fit in. Okay. When you feel like if you don't fit in, that's bad. Well, I just, I just want to feel like I get it because I give courtesy laughs a lot. And I think it's actually a flaw. I think I need to stop giving courtesy laughs and just let things sit because you have a bad courtesy laugh. I don't think it's bad. Well, I think a courtesy laugh is different than like a fit and laugh, right? The courtesy laugh is like you said something not very funny, but I want you to feel okay. So I'm going to laugh as a courtesy. And then like the fit and laugh is like, you actually want the social pressure having not known what that meant. So I'm going to laugh. So no one questions me. I guess if you don't laugh, the beacon is placed on you, right? And it's like everyone's laughing and you're sitting there. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? You're probably what? You don't get it. Yeah. You're the joke. The joke isn't the joke. You're the joke now. Yeah. That's interesting. Well, I think he says my courtesy laughs bad. You have a bad. I know every time you get a courtesy laugh, I know every time. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You know, too. We all know what a courtesy laugh is. Yes. I know. Really? Yeah. Of course. Yeah. I'm like, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. It is a bit of a instant and short lived. I've seen it before. It's a bit of a Scooby-Dee laugh. Really? Yeah, bro. I appreciate it. I was taking my courtesy laugh. Social lubricant. I've never, I've never bit bad. I've never said don't do that. I said, I'm sorry. I was sorry. I was sorry. I was sorry. Welcome to the social contract. But what if it is an experiment or so courtesy laugh? And it's an experiment because I think yet to then make snap judgments of what's a laugh on a courtesy laugh and sometimes you might just pull back a real laugh. I'm fast enough. Sometimes it's tough. I'm crazy. Why are you fucking laughing now? Is that a courtesy laugh? It's like a delusional. You're fucking delusional. You're like shit. I look good today. You don't look good today. I look good today. I look fucking good today. You don't look good. I look good. Really? Mega mine. That's what we're doing. These are all courtesy laughs. Oh, yeah. You look fucked up. Yeah, I don't know. One day I'm going to look like Mega Mine too. No. One day. Do you think he's balding fan fan? No. Right. I can't tell. Okay. I don't know. I feel like my island is kind of crazy. Like, I have a hair line. You try? Yeah. Very normal. Oh, I thought I had like, I have like bald spot. Yeah, you have bald spots. They're really crazy. Yeah, it's like a massive forehead. Like so big. But like the hairline's like a macula. Oh, okay. No, I can't really tell with hair if it's balding or not. Women bald on the top. Oh, Luddwigs. No. No, like more on the middle part on the top. No, no, the Luddwigs chart. Oh, oh, yes. See? Oh, oh, my God. That's custom. I do have that I think. Oh my God. The cartoon that's balding is crying. They do it more more sad. They do it that way. Oh my God. Why not have an empowering image where she's happy. Dislighted. And then she turns it to ambessa. It takes over. It gets creepier. But their facial pattern gets more menacing. Yeah. Are you talking about the male norwoods? Yeah. We don't see the facial. Well, I mean, let's look at the Norwood scale on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Like his first one. He's like, mocking us. The last one. He's like, it's cool works. He's falling into a car. That's what I'm saying. If that guy looks at me like that, I'm like, oh my God. Hello, stranger. It's the last guy looks at me like that. I'm like, I'm like, no, no, sorry. I actually just have my card on me. So like that meme with the with the lady in the office. They try me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is ball the deal breaker for you? Yeah. No. Really? Yeah. What are your deal breakers? Red biggest. red flags. Big is red flags. Deal breaker. What is a deal breaker? I can't think of any. I mean, in like a dating situation, what you would not at any point consider. I'll give you an example. I would be against personally, and I'm not applying this to you, because obviously you have your own, but I would be against a pedophile. I guess I'm just like more accepting that you're your fucking ego that you think a pedophile - Yeah, yeah. - I've had a lot of fun with nothing to do with you. - It's fucking horrible. - All right. - I'm not gonna tap on one of you. - You're so serious. - You're so serious. - You're so funny. - You're so funny. - I'm gonna tap on one of you. - Yeah, man. - Okay. - Whatever, it's mutual. (laughing) - So do you deal with it like that? - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you have one? - I have one. - I feel you, you're really don't care. - No, I feel like racist in a bad way, man. - Would you date a white guy who tips the Fedora? - No. - Is racist in a good way? - No, he's not. - Ironically though. - No, no, no, no. - Very, very ironically. - Can you speak to racist in a good way? Could you speak like-- - Racism. - Could you be, you said racist in a bad way, but could you be charmed by racist in a good way? - Yes. - Well, can you give me an example? (laughing) - It's funny, funny racist. - Okay, okay. So a guy comes up to you and says a really funny racist thing. - He says, I don't know, ain't, do you have a very example? - Yeah, ain't, can you help me? - Yeah, I mean, it's okay, I'm going ahead and just go through the politics. - Yeah, yeah. - We can make up a slur, okay. Hey, you see that? - I have a new slur. - Oh, really? - Well, cheers. - D-cell. - D-cell, what is that? - Because people got mad at me for saying the R one. - Okay. - What is the D? - D-cell, like, decelerated. - Oh. - D-cell or D-cell? - Wow, that, yeah, that could be used enough to where it becomes a real slur. - Yeah, I guess the language that we'd have to accept it 'cause right now we're saying it freely without consequence. - Yeah, yeah, and then they look back on the yard. Like when we're on like a Delta flight. - They're called the D-cellur. - They're going to be like, while they're saying. - They're saying what D-cellur is saying. And this is like season one of the office when Michael says, crazy shit. - Michael's is ripping it. - He says the F-cellur. - Oh, Jackie Chan also says it. - Yeah, really? - That's fine. - He'd say it. - He knows martial arts. - Yeah. - So we're honestly saying, huh? - He's saying. (laughing) - Do you like a D, no? (laughing) - That's Muhammad Ali. - Oh. - Really? - Who did you think it was? - I was thinking of the other Asian guy. - Well Muhammad Ali is not really lost in this. - Bruce Guy, Bruce Lee. - Bruce Lee. - Right, okay. That's what I said initially. There's Bruce Lee, there's Jet Lee, and there's comedian, Datt Fan. And that's the Triumvirate. - Datt Fan is not part of the Triumvirate. - Why not? - Because it's really funny. - It's really funny. - It's really funny. - I think the Triumvirate should be martial artists. - He doesn't have to be a martial artist. He's a funny guy. - Bruce Lee's not a funny guy. So why is he in the Triumvirate? - Bruce Lee can be funny. - Bruce is a very funny guy. - We practice one thing. (laughing) - He punched Chuck Norris in the chest. That's like one of the funniest things. - Do you like it? - So in Jet Lee's in there, 'cause he's funny? - Jet Lee was in the one, which is a hilarious movie. - Yeah, he's in the one. - So it's just three comedians, if you think about it. (laughing) - He just feels like a weird Triumvirate. I guess I don't know. - Yeah, it's weird to guys like you. - Also comedy is a martial art. - Real shit. - You could use comedy to disarm any sort of anyone. - That's right. - And you should only use it when attacked. - Or a hot pot of coffee if you're in a 7-Eleven to stop the person from robbing. - The per, the per. - I stopped the per. - Which one of us, and this is a true thing? One of us on this podcast hates dogs. Which one do you think it would be? - I first thought it would be you, but I don't think that's true. - Okay. - They can try it. - Interesting. Can you explain your answer? Like an asshole. - Probably his vibes. - He sure was. - On the way here, Ludwig was explaining each of you. He said, "Aiden's the nice one." Limes the mean one. - Me? (laughing) - Kill yourself. (laughing) - Yeah. - Anyway, go ahead. - That was it, yeah. - And then Nick's just right, I guess, right? - Yeah. - You said he was the porridge, the baby's porridge? - I'm baby porridge. - He's baby's porridge. - He's just right. - Wait, hold on, hold on. - Sorry, it's a dog. - Yeah, great. So I need you to explain why that's just right for you. - 'Cause two nice, God-a-love dogs. - Right. - Do you mean, two, like, two expected? - Just right. - It was just right. - It's Aiden. - She used the test to take the test. It is Aiden. - It was the least expected, then. - I beat up the dogs. - Oh. - Aiden wants to. - I mean the dog. - Aiden wants to. (laughing) - Aiden wants to help us. - If I beat the dog. - What's he going to tell us? - He will tell the military issue handgun to a dog's head and say, "You dare me?" - Yep. - You dare me? - To the dog. - And then the dog didn't say anything back, so I spoke slower. (laughing) - No, I'm going to shoot. - Yeah, so it was Aiden. You would find that surprising. I would 'cause he's a nice guy otherwise, but he has contempt in his heart for an animal. - Hatred. - It's kind of interesting. - Only dogs are all animals. - Mmm. - Just dogs. I think it would be fine with like, if somebody rolled up to like AMC, with like their pet rat, or like they're like an anteater, I'd be enthralled. - Enthralled. - That's not really true. - Or their anteater? - Yeah, just one of those. - One of them is crazy. And one of them's like. - Equally enthralled. - Really? - Equally. - Okay. - 'Cause I love all other animals equally except the dogs. - Interesting. - I think it's fair. I think it's fair that he feels this way and I won't pull it from him. - That's crazy, man. - Hassont didn't go far enough. - Did you do that with funny tweet after stream rewards? - Do you like that one? - God, I had crazy people. Dude, I tweeted about Expedition 33. Hassont replies just talking about the game. And all of a sudden, it's just millions of people in his replies, arguing with each other. - About shit. - That has nothing to do with-- - I actually think he's seen such a thing. - He's got frame one tweeters. - It is so unbelievable. It's like, the people that defend him and the people that hate him, they're all on frame one. - He moves around Twitter with the Green Stinkline. - He does. - And I replied in this long thread. It was like 19 people telling each other kill themselves. I'm like, "You guys all need to get off the fucking internet. You gotta stop." You guys, I brought up every single one of them. - And yeah, and I brought in some more robots and I said, "You guys gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop." - The bots were like, "All right, fine." (laughing) - Fucking god me, bro. - He's like a monkey bomb and not too dumb. - Too easy. It's exactly like that. 'Cause the reply is just like this. - The reply is only as Nazi's heard. - You're chasing him. (laughing) - Snarling Nazi. (laughing) - It's just, it's like seven replies of like an edited Charlie Kirk Mario Kart picture using the lightning bolt at a dog. I think Charlie could say something. - Posted within five seconds of him tweeting about something totally unrelated. And they're all ready to go at any given time. - Yeah, there's a folder on these desktops that they're locked and loaded. Kinda beautiful, the devotion in a way. - I think about Charlie Kirkified on our subreddit. (laughing) - Yeah, I thought it was funny. - Can you see his zipper? I haven't seen it. - Please, yeah, 'cause it's like, he's kind of bulb. (laughing) - Yeah. - He's got short, yeah. - Well, no, no, when they did it to me. - Oh. - He, he, it looked kinda like Drusky in that sketch he did. - Yeah. - He's like, he's balding on top. - We're gonna get to a certain year where you can say that about anything. - Yeah, he's covering every color. - Like, oh, it looks like Drusky in that sketch. That'll cover all scenarios at something. - Yeah, he's pulling off the cosmic library. - He's working on Drusky AI. - And it's Sora, but everything's Drusky. - Does he still do that show? - What? - Or like the American Idol type thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wait, American Idol type thing. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's cool. - Could have been records. - Oh, I forgot, he was fucking. - He was on tour for Could have been records. - Yeah, but he was in the. - People hated it. - He was in the Manth Baby Oil Mansion. - Baby Oil Mansion? - He was in the Baby Oil Mansion. - We was in the. - We was? - Did Riffy was in? - The dating. - Riff Raff was way before this. And then his Nardmour interview, he said. - I don't know any of this. - He was talking about his big invention idea and it was Baby Oil Water Park. - Yeah, did he got there already? - And did he was wet? - Yeah. - It's rare that Riff Raff gets beat to the punch of creativity. - Did he had a killer whale that could breathe the Baby Oil? And they would all watch it jump out and clap and shit. - And right before the arrest, it was going down to Riyadh, it got fucking cans. - It can literally. - Like tuna. - Mm-hmm. - That's true. - And that's what it went with Beastland. - This is the lore. - Mr. Beast Baby Oil Beast. - That is crazy. - That would look fucking crazy. - I wouldn't recognize Charlie Kirk. - It looks so good. - It does look really good. - Like a real person. - Except for the top of the head. It looks like my head when I was bald. - Bamfam, when is your Riyadh theme park opening up? - What would it be? - What would it be? - What would Feynman look like? - Oh. - Feynman 0% vape adventure. - 0% vape adventure. - Everyone had to vape at the front door. - But it's 0%. - What? - And it's also a fast pass. - Dude, check it out. It's Feynman. You walk in. You got two geek bars taped to your hands. You can't leave till you finish. - And at midnight, we're shooting everybody. (laughing) - We're shooting you in the fucking head, boy. - Wait, wait, wait. - Better be 0% battery. - You can't get sucking. What's your, you'll walk me through a day at a theme park with fanfare. Are you a ride? Are you an arcade? - I'm a ride. - Food. - You're like rides. - Yeah. - But what kind of rides? - Like fast ones. - Like big. - Yeah, big ones. - Big ones. - I'd say you don't get a frontal cake. - Do you get fried dough? - Yes, I like rides. And then if I get thirsty and hungry, I go get a snack, like a sweet treat. - Okay. - And then I go back on the rides. - Do you throw up on the rides? - No, never. - She screams, though. - I do scream. We went on in Credit Coaster. - He lied. - Yeah. - And he lied. - Yeah. - Yeah. - There's no reason for him to lie. - He was fun, it was fun. I lied, like, she was a child. - Yeah, he was so easy. - He said it was like a chill ride. - We went on a credit coaster and I was like, I was like, this ride gets kind of crazy, but it starts how slow. And in credit coaster, it's like the entire thing is that it starts crazy fast. - Yeah, and I believed it 'cause that's normal. And why would he lie? - Why would you lie? - I guess this is fine 'cause you like rides. - I do, it was awesome. - Steve, I didn't like rides. If you had to meet, I would get off the ride, I'm never going on riding it. - He ruined it for me. - This is what happens to children, I think, is adults lied to the child, and the child who had a apprehensiveness towards the ride is betrayed and doesn't like ride ever again. This is what happened to cutie. She hates rides. - Oh yeah, she was lying. - She hates rides? - You don't know. - She was lying too? - She hates-- - Go to Disneyland and fucking four times a week. - She hates all rides. - She likes to vibe, the energy. - She likes to edit rides. - She gets a Disney bro. She hops on like the three-year-old goofy sky coaster and goes, I'm scared. - And then gets off and she's like, ah, I'm good on the swings. (laughing) - Wow. - Like everything else, tap out. - Worst ride at Disneyland is the one where you're just in a Honda, and you're just driving. - Oh my God. - We waited 45 minutes for that and it shut down. - No, that's a different one. - Oh, okay, everyone. - Car topia is good. - Or topia is good. - Or topia is good. - Or topia. - And you're just literally in a car. - No, yeah, it's two people per car. - This one's actually not driving on the other girl. 'Cause you actually do drive it. - You don't brake on a rail. - You barely drive it. - It's quite a better time in the parking structure before. - So you drive to Anaheim so you can get on the ride. - So you get a worst car. - It's pretty ridiculous. - You guys are doing what we're talking right now. - It's like hey, this is it. - It's like hey, what if it's a bumper cars? Except no one can fucking hit each other. - This is the worst ride. - It's stuck in four or five traffic, then just stuck in traffic, classic LA fucks. - It's kind of northern line. - It's not exactly like it. - I'm trying to belittle what I said, but that's exactly what this is. - Dude, it's exactly the difference. - This is, it's a seven year old who's driving. - Yeah, but we're talking about adults. - Not with adults. - Not with me, I'm taking this fucking drive. - The problem is I'm a man. I'm a grown-ass man and I'm like oh, this looks, everyone's waiting. And this must be fun and I got fooled. - I'll never go on it again, but the fact that I went on the first time, I feel betrayed by the mouse. - There are rides for adults and there are rides for children. - Can I be real? - You went on a ride for children and said why is it on adults? - Yeah, right. No, 'cause there were adults there who are fucking wearing the Mickey Mouse ears and they're insane. - I've never been to Disneyland, but I've been on a ride like that in my childhood and I hated it because I hated that you couldn't actually drive the car. - You can drive it. - No, you're lying again. - You're on a track where you can control left, right? - Break. - It's not. - Yes. - Okay. - Left, right, break. - Go to Disneyland. Tell a little bit how wrong he is because I swear to Jesus Christ. - I have your thing. - Here's the thing. - If you don't steer at all, you still get to the end. - So get it on the wall. - It'll like clang on the railing and then you'll like. Yeah, man. - No, so this makes it a good ride. - Well, you're driving poorly, like you're driving poorly. Like that's on you at that point, no? - It's not about driving poorly. - Have you ever been to the P&E? - No. - What's that? - In Vancouver. - Oh, yes, long time ago. - What does this? - I remember it. - I remember it. - Play land. - Yeah. - It's Vancouver and music part. - It's like a big fairground where they have like an amusement park kind of. - They got hog shit in there. - Yeah. - There's a bunch of hog shit and fucking penis in Vancouver, fucking island. - So why do you think he's mad? - That's what they got there. - That's what we're hog shit. - He's obsessed with it. - 'Cause I don't know, right? - It's wait. - Kiss your asses, Shabbos, in Vancouver. - It was a nice one and Simon's a mean one. What is Ludwig? - Great question, what do you think? - Oh, no, he comes off the famous one. - Oh, honestly, be happy. - Yeah. - That's what I have. - Yeah. - It's my, but that's fine. - Why are you so pissed at me? What did I do in front of our fucking awesome guests? - Fucking mad at you, anymore. - You know, mad at me. - I'm not even fucking mad at you anymore. - If you had to kill one of us, who you fucking kill right now. - My self, dude. - No, you can't pick yourself. - You can't pick yourself. - The guy doesn't fire. - If it's all of us? - You can't kill all of us. - What is this answer? - I want to shoot one of us in the skull. - You can't fucking kill all of us, dude. - What? - Yes! - Yeah, she's feeling you now. - Right before you kill me, I come out of the closet. - Oh my god. - More of a race. - Oh! - I'm killing my mouth shut. - You didn't know if you were wearing blincy alga socks. - Yeah. - Oh, you see that? - Yep. - He's also in the section. - And I hid that from my parents for a long time. - He was 18 and he hid that from us right now. He was 18. - As I said, if you didn't know that now, you know it. You're disclosed. You don't be afraid. - Don't be afraid. We haven't trained. - So she cannot hurt you. - Princess Down! - I think so. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's actually never liked that. (both laughing) - I met some fans at that sandwich shop, Bob and Grandma's. - Okay. - Come out to me. They go, we were just listening to you over the biggest yard fans. - I love quizzing them when they say some dumb shit. - I, it never quizzed. I instantly just go, "Who would you kill?" - That's a good one. So that is a quiz, essentially, but yeah. - And it was frame one. - What? - Like it was the next, like, it was like they were ready for me to ask it. - I was like, that means it's not that way. - Who would you kill? - Oh! (both laughing) - And I would kill Aiden. - And instead, were you there, you covered your face. Like you knew this was coming. - 'Cause I was just a corner. - And Connor told him about it. - He's so sick. - Oh yeah. They framed one day and-- - This is what Connor walked in the room. It was like, you know what I just found out? I found out that I'm the only person in your life who's nice to you. And I was like, thank you for saying it. Thank you for fucking acknowledging it. - See dog? - Yeah. - Yeah, dude, I help you grow. - Is it insane that you don't acknowledge it? - You don't push you to greater heights. Sorry, he pulls you down to nice hell. - He pulls you down to nice little hell. - If we weren't around, everyone might be nice to you. - Do you realize that life would be miserable if everyone was nice to you? - You would never know when you were making a mistake. Isn't that fucking weird? - Don't take your shoes off. - Oh, Aiden. - Young man. - What do you got? - I need to be really still or he's gonna get scared. Okay? - Do you know why? - Do you know why they picked him, though? - By Zach. - Yeah. - No. - Definitely not. - 'Cause he's leaving and it hurts them. - L.S. - Oh. - That's right. - What? - 'Cause if his political views-- - That's right. - He has a right winged podcast. - I don't know. - He has another podcast. - Oh. - Oh, you cheat. - Did you ever see that podcast? - No. - Where did they go? - You lick his nose. - It's, it's, that's his podcast. - I see that. - Oh. - That's his podcast. - 'Cause I feel like that's a slur. - I feel like that's a slur. - Well, I can't talk about sneezing. - That's too tough. - Stop. - So you put so much stank on it. - See what you're saying? - Z-word. - What is, what is that make us uncomfortable and what I said was awesome. Why, dude? Think about that. - 'Cause you guys are freaking in touch with women, I guess. - Really? - Yes. - Pan-fan. - Which one of us do you think is most in touch with the phenol experience? - Okay. (laughing) - I'll take that. - I don't really get to have my big zest. - Yeah. - But I went down with all of it. - Well, say in Eulogy, he was in touch with women. - He's actually gets painted as a resident misogynist, which is. - Oh, it does? - And one of those running general lesbian. - I don't know how to talk about both. - Delphading. - Oh. - Can you do it? - Interesting. - Delphading. - You started streaming during COVID. So presumably you go, you like graduate, you go full-time after, like did you not start a job, like a normal job? - No, I had jobs during school. - Okay. - I don't know what it stopped. I had an internship at like a research place or breast cancer. - Oh my God. - To find a fucking care place in my fucking house. - Shit made up for 500. (laughing) - Yeah, okay. - I'll do more later. (laughing) - 'Cause I'll say it's good. - The man can fix his all this. - So. - Yeah, okay. - And then I had another job, like translating documents from Chinese to English. - Oof, I would love that job. (laughing) - I'm so much. - I fucking hate it. - I love that job. - Okay, one, 2020? - No, it was like 2019. - Can we, is surely the computers are better than that? Better at that than us, right? - Translating Chinese, you're crazy. You're insane, you're batshit. - I am? - Yes. - Humans are better at translating Chinese than the computers. - I think humans are better at translating language in general, 'cause I understand the nuances of it. - Way better, dude. - Whoa. - What about AI? - AI is also worse. - What's that? - AI is also worse. - I'm like rock. (laughing) - I'm like rock, I need. - Yeah, oh yeah. I'm better, I'm better rock than what. - You're better rock. - Okay, so you're writing a fucking language, right now. - I knew it. But Cam was making the video for France, and he wanted to translate a lot of the video, and he was asking me, he shouldn't have asked you, 'cause every text would have been, I fucked my sister out. - Yeah, I fucked my sister out. - I'm going to drive this car to me, sister. - I'm going to drive this car. - I don't know what it sounds like. - He's fucking near sister. - Damn it, there's everything. - It's like bullsh*t, I'm a pale jack, and sometimes I'm like, I know it. - Can you sing something about it? - I know it sounds crazy. - Family. - Yeah, what's he gonna do? - I can't sing that. - I'm gonna be a jack. - Yeah, I can't sing that. (laughing) - So anyway, he's doing a lot of translation with AI, and I was like, just hit me out for the translation, like I speak French, and then I was looking over the video, and it's like commentators, and it's like, you're like, we're in for a bit, and I'll just translate it how it came to it. It's like, we're in for a big race today. Huge, they're driving 87.634 kilometers around the track. And I was like, "Can't, do you really think they dropped decimals?" Like, do you think the commentators were sitting there? And they said 87 points, 3-6. You think that's what happened? - Right. - And he's like, "Yeah." - And he's like, "No, no, they just got it all wrong." - No, they didn't see that. Instagram Reels where they have like the auto AI translation. It translates the audio. And it's always some freaky, weird shit. It just goes like, "Oh." - Okay, so I actually found a really weird video this week where I've been watching furious counter-shry content and they're a Brazilian team. But the whole team isn't Brazilian right now. So they'll interview the Brazilian players and then the Portuguese audio populates with English audio because of this feature they added, right? But then they pay it over to their guy from Kazakhstan who they talk to in English. The dub just goes mute. And you just don't hear anything. - So he's just saying nothing. - 'Cause it doesn't know what to do when it hears English. - When it thinks it's supposed to be translating Portuguese. - Speaking Portuguese poorly. - So he just went silent for 15 seconds. I was like, "Oh, this is a great feature. I could figure this out." - I'm glad they shifted this one out. Doing this. - Yeah, that was the big issue too. Like, when we release ether-mancer 'cause it's a really popular game in China, but some of the translations weren't like that accurate or that like solid in Chinese. So like-- - I think I, you on the case. - Yeah, so we need to get it after I fix it. But I initially got review palm before I clean things up. (laughing) - Do you, like now that you're doing this, and you're 25, are you? - It's almost over. - Are you happy? - Are you happy doing what you do? Do you have an idea of like, oh, I wanna be doing this like 10 years from now? Or yeah, I'd like to stream for like three more years be done. - Three more years and be done, probably. - That's clean. - Maybe five more years. - How many years ahead do you think realistically? - Two. - Okay, that's clean. - That's clean. - That's very clean. - Here's a clean number. - Yeah. - Okay, good. - So right now it's like, I'll do this, I'll do this for the next two years for sure. - Yeah. - Nice. - 50, and let's say you're not in the picture in 12. (laughing) - Do you wanna just get a normal job after? Or just be like, I don't wanna work again. - I wanna be a therapist. (gasping) - What time? - I don't wanna open a dog shelter. - I better help therapists. - Whoa, which is you with fucking hate. - Yeah, oh my god, a dog shelter. Why don't you sell something for me, maybe? - I actually didn't want to open a dog shelter until I found out about Aiden. - Oh my god, yeah. - So I inspire people. - A dog shelter, but you have like a clock, and you go, guys, if you don't adopt it, Aiden comes in and adopts your house. (laughing) - He's gonna talk to his friends. - Those rage rooms where they let you break in. (laughing) - Every night at 9 p.m. the candle turns into a rage room. - A whole problem already about the tail. - You gotta adopt a dog by then. - I think just he comes by every night. - We're gonna pass, you shown the video of Aiden last year. He loves this shit. - You sure? - He loves this. - He's a perfect dog for him. - So you stop streaming, and you have some sort of indescript amount of money, and then you open a dog shelter, and you become a therapist. - Yeah. - A dog therapist. - We have to go back to school, right? - Yeah. - You gotta go back to school. What do you wanna do that to? - Yeah. - Oh my god. - What was the idea behind Bio-Cam? Where you're gonna try to be like a fucking crazy scientist? - Fucking crazy fucking scientist. - I mean, I am Asian. - Okay. - Keep saying shit like that, but like, I fucking placed a doku and was an English major. - So you were born a crazy scientist? - No. (laughing) - I was trying to understand. - I was gonna say, okay. - Yeah, I'm pretty mad. - Hey, mad makes sense. - I gave up on treatment the first semester though. - Because it was too hard. - Yeah, it's hard. - Yeah, it's hard. - My first exam was too hard. - Hey guys, what's going on in this episode of The Other Sponsor by the all-in-one website platform Squarespace. So if you're keeping up with the yard happenings, we started a campaign, savethatmonkey.com. And it was about the Anaheim Angels Monkey. 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A lot of people just wanted to search it up and I think the SEO tools from Squarespace. - There was that, but we also had a storefront and we sold a ton of the underwear packages. - I was even clicking through the SEO tools to see if MonkeyTouchDown.com was something that needed promotion and it turns out it's really easy to find 'cause there's not a lot of other things called that. - So anyway, if you wanna be a part of this great experiment that you helped fund, go to MonkeyTouchDown.com but more importantly, go to squarespace.com/yard for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use code yard to save 10% off your first purchase of your own website or domain at squarespace.com/thayard and use code yard. - Slash yard. - It's just not the yard. - It's just a yard, it's just a lean yard. - It's just so nice 'cause everybody thought they were contributing as to something to save the monkeys and they'll be, employees, they'll be competing against - Well, they'll be saved through the spirit of competition. - But with their lives on the line. - Oh, their lives are on the line. Anyway, thank you for sponsoring this episode. Let's get back to the episode with FanFan who is I'm sure saying something very appropriate right now. - Favorite vape flavor? - Coca-Cola. - Whoa. - Do you like the soda too? - Yes. - Do you drink the soda a lot? - Yes. - Do you have it at home? - Yes. - Do you like it more than Coke Zero? - No, Coke Zero is the one. - Coke Zero is the one. - Do you pour it into a glass with ice or do you drink from the can? - No. - From the can. - Is the can cold? - Yes. - Out of the fridge cold or like out of like a cooler at a soccer game cold? - Bridge. - Oh my god. - This is all I'm pouring in. (laughing) Oh my god, you're going to hell. You realize that? - You're a burn for a turning. - Which one was bad? - Where are we starting? - I went high. - Girl. (laughing) - Biochem. - Biochem. - Yeah, hi my name is Pam, for the slide, maybe? (laughing) - For the time being there, earliest. - Wait, can I talk about the slide? It is really narrow and I went-- - It's a kid's slide. - Like, yeah. - No, no, no, no. - Well for one, they don't make adult slides. - Yeah, okay. - It's just slides or kid's slides. - But I just sat here in pain in the beginning and pretended like I wasn't. - You heard that, bad? - Yes. - Yeah. - Crazy. - It was just really fun. - I would have barked. I would have said some shit. I would have sued the shit out of Aiden specifically. - Yeah. - Or. - Coke Zero. - Oh, I drink-- - What the fuck is your problem? - I will say I drink Coke Zero because it makes me feel like I'm dieting. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause you're afraid, yeah, yeah. - But you don't drink Diet Coke? - No, it tastes different. - Mixed crazy. - It does taste different. I like Diet Coke. - Nick likes regular ass Coke with sugar. Good. Of course, it's Coke. - It tastes great. - I know, but it's not. It's like Diet Coke or Coke Zero, it's like 95% is good and you don't get 45 grams of sugar. - Yeah, but I'm not drinking Coke at home. - Oh, yeah. - It sure is. - It's a little treat. - It sure is. - Coke Zero every day. - I didn't think about Coke at a restaurant every once in a while. - A guy who said last week that listening to music counts for screen time. - It does. - Got it. - Yeah, that's insane. - No, it's fucking insane. - What's your screen time? Can we see? - Yeah. - Can you just tell us? - Oh, I don't know. So I will check. - Wait, check it. It's a Goku iPhone J. - It's 7,000 hours. - iPhone Jek. - Last week, my Sudoku time was 18 hours in that week. - Oh, it's actually a new one. I thought it was like 18 hours of Sudoku in one week. - I was on a crossword kick for a while and I did it for hours. - Christian, really? - Christian, really? - That boy loves a crossword. - Let's chop it up with him. We'd have a lot to talk about. - You guys would crush it. - We'd like to see if they have hours. - Wait, let me see. - Let me check. - Have a nice pass, pass, pass, pass, pass. - Pass the phone. - Pass the phone. - Last week, we averaged 11 hours. - I was on vacation and I had-- - Roll. - I was traveling for 44 hours. - She's okay. - You know, I'm gonna go to a more regular week 'cause I think last week was a anomaly. - Okay. - Yes. - The week before, okay, let's go to another week. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - Seven hours. - To be fair, the past month, I've had my phone open all the time. - To messages? - To messages. - Huh? - Your messaging crazy. - Yeah. - 24 hours. - Yo, my friends. - Oh, I leave it open. - I leave it open. - Okay, okay. Then X to everything app, then Discord. There's no even freaking, you were in a big on Sudoku. Who the hell is this? I can read it, but can you read it? - That's my brother. - Okay. 'Cause that's what I thought that said. It was difficult for me to read. - It says it was a Chinese name. - What is it? - What is Ludwig's Chinese name? - What would it be? - You're the pick. You're the pick. - You can choose. - Oh, I can choose? - No, no. - She can choose. - And Ludwig will be your dead name. - I want him to choose. I would love to choose. What would I choose for my name? I would go with. - This game is so hard. - Air Fong. - What? - Oh, she made a face, she hasn't made the whole time. - Were you attempting aircoots? - Yeah, I thought so. - I don't see it. - Did I get it right? - Yeah, so you are actually a fucking idiot. (laughing) - Did I get it wrong? - You didn't get it, bro. - No, you're racist, man. So we're gonna fucking miss bro. I've tried to call him big penguin. - Big penguin. - I like big penguin. - Oh, wait, how do you say fat again? - Phi. - Pong. - Pong. - Oh, Phi, that one? - Yeah, what's the difference? - Same thing. - Same thing. - I mean, it's just like fat versus chubby. - So, I would call myself air pong. - Air pong. - Yeah, what do you think about that? - Good. - Air fat? - No, air is too. - Too fat. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Too fat. - Yeah, I would say yeah. - I'd call us. - Who what? - Air holless. - Air holless. - Any other questions, idiot? (laughing) - I guess I'm just, what's going on in Vancouver? Is it just like you, Northern Ireland, and train, like hanging out every night? - Yeah, are you in train, spin it up? - Yeah. - I've heard it's, do you get me? - No. - Well, on occasion, online? - No, no, no, no. - Big fat. - Why don't you just rip open a steak account, fucking get a pet house and live the fucking good life? - You would be a dope gambling streamer. - Yeah. - You would rip in the pen. - You would cry. - Just, you would hit like a hundred K and cry. - I do get really excited gambling. - It'd be awesome. You should do a stream where you put like $100 on red and then it misses and you should cry for 30 minutes. (laughing) - Yeah. - In the stream. - And then no go live, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - You're a streamer for a month. (laughing) - No, I really like Blackstack. - I love Blackstack. - Yeah, I just, I love it. - Are you skilled, do you think? - I know the book. - Let's say you have 13 in dealer shows of four. What do you do? - And. - Okay. - Of course, stand. - Well, you had 12 in dealer shows of three. What do you do? - And, right. - No, that one's fine. - Is that, if you're, - If you're like details in, - If you're at a two it's a 50. - Dealers showing a six and you have 16. - Ooh. - What do you do? - I personally would stand because I'm a pussy. - You'd stand? - I would stand 'cause I'm a pussy. - That's fine. - So you always stand then. - If you have $1,000 on that hand, you start. - I'm okay with $1,000 on that hand. - I'm okay with other answer. I just hate the people who change it up every time. - Oh, no. - I want the consistency. Who are you? - No, I like the changing it up 'cause it's like, it's like you're feeling the vibe, right? - No, sometimes I like the vibe. - It should be super-sistant. - And then I lose. - I think that's okay if no one else is at the table. - Bacco. - If you vibe it and then you hit and it fucks me. - I think I've gambled enough money at a blackjack table to where I can do what I want. - I'm allowed to do whatever I want at the blackjack table with him is so crazy. - I'm a massive people pleaser, pick me validation whore. So at a blackjack table, I'm usually like, is that, is this okay? Like, should I? - Is it okay if I hit on this 20? Is that okay? - And then I just listen. - My first hand, I'm split in 10, 10. - I'm split in 10s. I'm going, welcome to the table, boys. - Yeah, I agree. So my philosophy is I can do what I want when I want. So can anyone else. 'Cause sometimes people will be like, is it cool if I get fucking, they'll do that. - Yeah. - So cool if I do some crazy, I'm like, it's your life, man. - Well, if you dream, 'cause it doesn't matter. - You get crazy, I'm going to freak out though. - And if I got 10K on my hand and they fuck it up, I will look at them and I just want them to say sorry. - Cool man, get crazy. My wife left me today, so. So I don't have any fucking control of what happens in my life. - I like how I can tell you what to do. - Yeah, if I told you not to do it, you'd probably fucking do it twice. (laughing) - No, no. - Wow, I want to go Vegas so badly. - You asked the girl who gives you drinks for a gun. - Yeah. - Yeah, do I need anything? - Yeah, yeah, you'll bring it to me. (laughing) - You're the Insel Gambler. I mean, such a sick YouTube channel. - Yeah. - It's just an Insel guy who's a sad sack piece of shit. He gambles hundreds of thousands of dollars, but he's some miserable person. - He's getting them a size and he's like, covering his lap. (laughing) He's getting forward at the tail. (laughing) - Yeah, I might go to Vegas on New Year's. - You want to go to Vegas on New Year's? - He's talking about. - Fuck Vegas, bro. Put all your money in prediction markets, bro. - No, I'm an old school guy, man. I don't need to use call sheet to bet on whether or not Aiden will scratch his ass at the counter strikes set up. - That's what you do, bro. You submit it in, right? I got streaking at CS major. Okay. - That's sold. - Ten to one odds. - I'm a robber. - I paid a guy a thousand bucks to do it. - Sure. - This car has a standing kid. He's coming up and he's got it all hanging. - He's coming out. - Yep. - He's uncut. Oh my god, we need to ask the. (laughing) Am I cut or uncut? - Yeah. - We ask everyone on the show. - I would be probably uncut. - Hell yeah. - Would be. That's interesting. We should ask women what they would choose. - You know, I would, if I were a woman, I'd probably say the same thing. 'Cause like, you have the choice, right? - Yeah, I'd be like, Doc, hand me the clip. - Well, what are you saying? - When you're sewing, I would be are you saying it? 'Cause it's your choice. That you think that's what your family would do. - I think that would be my choice. - Hmm, that's cool. - 'Cause I think it would be easier for me to jack off. - Welcome to the right side of history. - Like lotion. - Yeah, I guess that's true. - Yeah, well, you estimate it all this properly and you are a great call on social crime. - That's the thing. I don't be a skin or no, I'm still going to cry. - I'm still going to cry after. - I'm hitting reels in seconds. Like, I'm going back to YouTube. - Yeah, you go right back to the reels. - Just like, and you close the window too. - They're all just like, like frame one. It's like the fastest you do, ain't it? The window got to be open. - The window got to be open. - I'm gonna say how we do it, don't we? - You guys get like phantom pains? - In what? - Like, for-- - You're talking a little bit of romance. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, like-- - 'Cause I get, like, penis phantom pains. - You do? - Yeah. - What, can you describe what you're talking about? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about, like, imagining, like-- - Not like phantom pain. - One time I zipped my zipper onto my four skin in a hurt. I'd be like, like, I could fall. - Okay. - I think the other way around, like, do I imagine having a dearie in them being like-- - Sure, you can. - Yeah, maybe. - Oh, yeah, my type of empathy, probably, yeah, I think, like, like, I feel like I feel the female experience like day to day. - I'm with you on that, and I feel like period cramps and I'm like, not that bad. - It's like, I start to speak, and it's like, I imagine what it would be like to speak over a woman. I'm like, I can't even say anything. It doesn't originally even come out. - Right. - You know what I mean? - He's really chalky. - I imagine giving birth, I'm like, yeah. - I get mad at my co-workers, I don't know. - Oh, guys, look at this baby. - Not that bad. - This is way slumbering and thump. - This was equivalent to getting hit in the balls, maybe. - And you see, like, concealer, and you're like, you sure salivating? And you're like, I hope it tastes pretty good, I think. - This one tastes yummy, bro. - Why does the makeup also look like this? - Why does it look yummy? - Is makeup delicious to eat? Are you asking me? - Yes. - Yeah. - I don't, what? I've never eaten makeup. - Oh, yeah. - Sorry. - Wait, really? - Let it out. - Wait, just tell me it's really cool. - That's why it's so sweet. (all laughing) - Like, does it taste awesome? Like, it looks fucking good. It looks like cocoa dust sometimes, it's like. - They should have the Sephora, like, check out Isle, where it's just like all this awesome shit, Chipotle. (laughing) - And you're like, when you're in the last, put it on a burrito. - No, no, no, you're in the last part. You can also buy, like, a copy of, like, Exhibition 33 for PlayStation 5. - Okay. - And they have keychains and little, like, gadgets and biscoff cookies and-- - I love biscoff cookies. - Delta Flier. - Yes. - Base. - Yeah. - Actually, they do have yummy lip gloss sometimes. I will say. - They do have a cherry. - Who was at the famous one back in the day? They were, like, sparkly chapsticks and they were all flavored. - You know what I'm talking about? - Like, all of them. - No, but they're like, so it's like a specific-- - All of them. - No, type in, like, early 2000s flavored chapstick, it'll be the only one that comes up. - Oh, early 2000s, I wasn't wearing makeup 'cause I was an infant. - We all kind of-- - You were born in the year 2000. - Yeah. - Oh, crazy. - Literally. - I've never seen these. I've seen baby lips, that was my-- - That one's right there, you're on it. No, the left lip smacker. - Oh, I do know these. - Classic lips. - I do know these. - Classic. - Why do you know about this? You're a boy. - Yeah, you're a boy. - Why do you know about that shit? - I call it girls I'd fucking make out with. It looks like fruit stripes. It looks like the same vibe, same guy. - Yeah, I could see the zebra prancing around on those labels for sure. - Does it look up early 2000s disasters? - Okay. - 9/11. - Oh, he's happened to hundreds, too. It's me. - Oh my god. - Shit. - Oh my god. - Not on my watch. - You would have stopped it. - Not on my watch. - What was your favorite one? - Early 2000s disasters. - My mind was probably the BP oil spill. - Oh yeah, remember the BP oil spill. And then we all these dove commercials are not dove. Glad, no. - No, it was dove. - Don. - It was don. - It was don. - About cleaning ducks. - Oh, I remember that. It was a massive campaign to clean all the duckies 'cause there's oil on them. And then after the commercial was finished roll like filming, it's thrown against the wall. - Through the duckies, it's the fucking wall. I actually got more oil on. - It's hard to think. 'Cause they're like the dogs. - 'Cause it was actually true. - Yeah, they caught Kershaw who was professionally hired to chuck him against the wall. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's a dark story. Early 2000s were rough. - It was a dark story. - It was a bushy piece. - A lot of regulations went down. - Yeah, yeah. And then Obama made it a pain in the ass to throw the ducks against the wall. - We throw the ducks as hard as your fucking can, without letting go, though. - I think he'd pull him down and come out. - And now we got a fucking wall. - It's like all the time he found out about the wall. - 2010, so early enough. - Early enough, bro. Now we got a fucking peanut winning V2 for the year, bro. - 2000, that brought the duck. - How do you guys feel about peanut winning V2 for the-- - Fuck here, pisses me off, bro. - It makes me fucking really question who that is. - I don't fucking care. I think everyone who cares is fucking-- - I don't care. - Digital peanut is not V-tubing. (laughing) - Not allowed to be a send me to ADX. - As for it without shopping. - And he has the officer. - Shackled, shackled, shackled. - Fucking take me-- - Take me off-- - Now shopping is a way. - Is it a way to me, Ludwig? - I would take all three of you in. - Please. - I don't make you the-- the front of the train and you the fucking back. - Wait, what about me? - Oh my God. - I would put you in the human centipede out of respect. - You can't put up the rules in the second. - I will be taken away as well. - Yeah, but you just be shot dead. - Uh-huh. - I just don't wanna be left out. - Yep. - I got you. - Okay. - Shot dead. - Me too. (laughing) - That's gotta be the definition of YouTube. - No, bro. - That's what I'm saying. - It's being a fucking peanut. Are you kidding me? - He's a picture. - He's a fucking picture, bro. - If that. - He's virtual. - This kind of the V2 being dream. - 'Cause wait, hold up. - I would argue he's hybrid. - Hybrid what? - Why? - It's his eyes and his mouth, it's his real eyes and mouth. - So what? - It's not virtual. - If you put real eyes and real mouth on this unnergious, it's an anime model with jiggle physics. - Boom, boom, boom. - That is a V2, bro. (humming) - You gun down all, it's all one person. (laughing) - Man, all those V2's got fucking swastikarm bands anyway, bro. - Yeah, and so if you had that, you'd be chill. - Wait, really? - Yeah. - They're famously weirdly, mostly racist. - There is a huge, really weird. - I know the V2's themselves are, but they definitely pandered to a very all right community. - It's interesting. There was a tech and player named after school Sophie, who was a V2, and she played Tekken. And then she just started one day going off about how, it's okay to say the N word as a joke. And it sounds like a five year old girl saying all of this. (laughing) The tech and community was like, "What the fuck is going on?" It was a crazy week. And that's why. - That's my exposure to V2's pretty much mostly. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's mostly that in peanuts. (laughing) - It's purely peanuts. I don't know, man. - I did see a clip recently of a V2's saying the N word, but she's black, but then she like, like, code switches when she V2's. So she set the N word and she was like, "Whoa, wait, I can say it." (laughing) - She forgot. - That's a Larry David, like, oh no. - She's method. - She's like a method V2's. - Yeah, when is method, when should method stop? - Oh, it's what it can't out of. - V2 was like V2 model is black? Or she is a black person. - She is a black person. - But the model it. - She doesn't remember it, can a black person operating a white V2 model? Is that person allowed to say it? - Let's go back. - Let's go back. - I'd have to call it an expert on this one. - Can Drusky say, "Well, I'll do it in white face." - Oh, my God. - I think that's so easy. - I think he can say any photo. - He's just like, "White face, I think you can do it in white face." - He just like, "If he comes, it's over your head." - He's dropping like World War II slurs. - All slurs are open to a Drusky way of this. - He's gotta be the bald guy too, though. - It depends what era of white guy he's becoming. Like is he-- - No, I feel like if you can't say the N word while doing white face, consequently, that means a white person doing black face can say the N word. - No, you can't apply the same rules. - No, she can't do the same rules. - I'm trying, it does not work. (laughing) - Okay, yeah. That was a crazy day at Universal. - Why do we have this threat over his head right now? This is the fan that if they don't get their mark, he's doing white face as a lot of it. He's posing as a lot of it in white face and plans on saying the N word to get a lot of it canceled. Because he didn't receive his mark. - So we look alike, that's the worst part of it. - Yeah, this is all true. This is a person threatening to hang the piano. - How are we looking, buddy? - How are we looking? The 20 day count down started. - I'm not in a rush. (laughing) - Could we maybe be in a rush? - Ooh, it's kind of taking as it comes. - How's this casual looking, free this week? - Haven't checked. - Haven't checked your own schedule. - Haven't checked. - Okay, 'cause I'm out for a week, I'm in Capacitito. - Probably getting taken care of. - Okay, all right, I'll look forward to it. - He's probably on it. - I hope so, really hope so for our sake. - And Phil, what do you think the weirdest thing is about Ludwig and your time being around him? - Oh, it is pretty jarring seeing him on an off camera. - Really? - Yeah, are you guys jarred at all? - We know him for a long time. - I was jarred 'cause I've always been close with Cutie, but not Ludwig. And then I remember last time I came here, he was so kind. And I was like, what the fuck, you're kind? - Oh, I'm fucking nice. - He's probably a nice person. - Fucking nice as hell. - Is that, oh, I see a clip of you saying that? - Yeah, I talked about 'cause I was very jarred. - Yeah, I freaked out. - I freaked out, it's like rock, rock, rock. He was doing really nice. - You made that, was it the tweet you were last visiting and you're like, cutie, cutie and Ludwig, you're like my parents, they're like checking in on me every morning and like making, and they'll give me like a whole outfit. (laughing) - Well, I realized that online, I've occasionally come across like, you know, maybe sexist or egotist or collard. - No, I never thought that. - Races. - I just thought like louder. - Bad. - Yeah, that, yes. - What is it like the other day? - You thought you'd be a little more loud. - No, one of those is terrible. You shouldn't be that, you shouldn't be that. - But only around people. - You shouldn't be that around people. - Rain bread. - So you thought, well that one's, you know. - All these are a little bit more true. - The characters that I play online. - The Inbred Fat Guy who's racist and sexist. (laughing) - And there's just a shortage of them online. (laughing) - And in person, I'm only inbred. - Inbred, you can get away from that. - Yeah, that one I can't escape. - Do you just thought he'd be louder? - Awful. - Yeah, why didn't think he was mean, ever? - You said loud, that's what you said. - Yeah. - Yeah, so like he'd yell at his girlfriend or something. - No, I thought he'd just be like, like a nice. - Yeah, nice. - To be louder and meaner is what you expected. - Yeah. - He was quieter and nicer. - Yeah. - He was like, "Fuck it, it's disgusting inbred, "and Mr.Fuck it." - What the hell was he in the background? - What the hell was he in the background? - You were acting more kind of mean for no reason. - No, French guy would ever say "discussing inbred" 'cause it's-- - It's implied. - It's all-- - Yeah. - Yeah, it's disgusting. - In France? - Yeah, that's what it is. - He's doing the end of your country. - It actually is beautiful to be inbred in France. It implies royalty. - We've got it all made. (laughing) - Mama's cooking. - A guy bends down his cooking. Frenchman gets down on one knee in front of his sister, and he goes, "I think you know what I'm going to ask you." - I don't think Kelsey's been such a beautiful life to be together anymore like this. - He's such a beautiful life. (laughing) - My sister. - I love the face, man. - I love the face. - What the hell? - What was the last time you were scared? - That's a great question. - Really fucking scared. - We had a whole week and I was fucking scared. - Yeah, we were really fucking scared. - You were getting scared. - What was the last time you were fucking scared? - I get scared a lot. - Yeah, so it was the last time. - Yesterday when there was a spider on the blanket. - Oh yeah, she was scared. - You jump up. - She went, she went. - I was actually really-- - Ow! - But she didn't move too much. It was good, so I can capture it. - Yeah. - And it was pretty big and quick. - Yeah, I was brave. - Okay. - We were very proud of you. - Yeah. - It was about quarter size. - It was really big. - We got one, I already said this. We got one of them, bug catchers at home, and you can catch it, and then you can magnifying glass. - My problem with that is like, I feel like that stick becomes an extension of me. So if I were to use that, it would feel like I'm touching it. - You're touching the spider. - I can't. - Interesting. - It goes for vacuum. - I poured mouthwash onto a spider in my bathroom, and it died really fast. - Yeah, but God damn it, smile. Going down. - Oh my. - And the smile was glowing because of the mouthwash. - Yeah, the Listerine made it really big. - I sprayed her head braces. - Did it one time? One time, Slime said, "You heard an ant scream?" - That was okay, okay. - I was like, "What's wrong with you?" Dude, it's become like a dick. - In other friend groups, you're not even a part of. - So fucking good. - But I mean, I was like, Alex and Eric, out of silence, someone would be like, "And Slime, her day and scream." - And I was a little kid. - When I was a little kid, my mom was vacuuming with one of the hand vacuumers, and she vacuumed it, I was sitting on the carpeted stairs, and she's vacuuming the stairs, and I was watching an ant, and she've sucked it up in the vacuum tube, and I heard it scream. (laughing) - This is so funny to everyone. (laughing) - It's your best story. - That's your peak story. - It's a great story, bro. - I can't, I can't, I can't. - The harnesses last all day. - I can't see this story. - The way other people see it. - When I heard, I imagine that, like that was Frank Sinatra in a past life. - Dude, dude. - I do you guys, when you hear every time I hear, I every time somebody says it, I imagine what the ant scream would be like. (laughing) - Yeah, of course, yeah. - This is gonna be stuck in the vacuum tube, so be it. - It's high pitch. (laughing) (laughing) - I imagine a man scream. - It's crazy, dude, I don't know. - I think it has the fate of way too. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - As it goes up, that is how it sounded, not kidding, that is how it sounded. And I remember it so vividly, and I get fucking clowned. And it's, - No, we believe you. - You believe in it, like she said. - I believe in you, - I believe in you. - For the last one. (laughing) - I always believe you, dude. - I always believe you. - I love it, man. - No, you don't. - You only love me, but you think I spew lies. - I love you, in spite of your lies. - Even though he's a snake. - Yes. - You think I'm a snake? - I know you're a snake, but I still love you. - I'm not a snake, you're a snake. - Snakes are fucking scary. Like I don't think I have a day to day fear of snakes, but a fucking rattlesnake in front of me right now. - You ever walk by one? - Yeah. - I'm like a hiker, some? - Like a garter snake. - Yeah, I walk in front of him, and I go. - No, little rattle guy. - Garter, gartersy, garter. - I'm not a garter snake, dude. 'Cause if they bite your snake. - I'm a garter snake. - I'm realizing just your aura. We all got really weird. - Yeah, I thought it was just you guys. - I don't know where it's going. - I was 10 minutes in it. We said you did a podcast with Emily and Hiller. (laughing) - Hold up, that was your dream podcast. - That was your dream. - That was your dream to do that. - I think I was coerced into it by slime, though. Like he was-- - What the fuck is that, you never make fun of any fucking rice? (laughing) - It's such a scene. And go, "Oh, my fuck, my sister, I went out!" - It was the funniest person you know in your life. It doesn't have to be a favorite. - Oh, Abdullah. Who's that? - He's my friend called Duty. Oh, wait, no, you're not coming out dinner. - I saw him. - You saw him? - I saw him. - Funniest person in my life. - He's his mother fucker. - I've never seen him. I didn't smell him. - He's a take talker disgusting. But he's a take talker. - Okay. - Abdullah the take talker. It's like a Jeff Dunham puppet. - Yeah, I try to steal. (laughing) - Who do you think the funniest person is here and who would you shoot in the leg, but not kill? - They have to be the same person? - Yeah. - Did he kill the nakedness in the area? - No, no, no, shooting the leg would not kill. You didn't do this. - But no, no, no, this is a shoot. - So shoot him, just shoot him. - I'm just asking who the funniest person is. And then you shoot him up. - And I have to shoot him up. - Yes, after you just shoot them in the leg. - Okay, yeah. - Who's wisely? - Chair looks as chair feels good. - I think for my humor, slime. - Ayy. - Good fuck. - Or else by the way, her humor is like, I diarrheaed my penis today. (laughing) Fanfan tweet is very like, you know. - And here's Susette's. - It's like looking at the, it's like here's a fanfan tweet. It's like a picture looking at the beach. And it says like, this reminds me of penis. - Yeah, this reminds me of four billion lives. - It's my reason for burying a job. - My friend has the same humor as you. - Which is, what? - He has like, you called him the one liner guy. That's what he's saying. - Oh, okay, is your friend awesome? - Yeah. - And you have good, um, wordplay. - Yeah, that is a lot of single target damage. - Yeah, single target, but like, what are you? - AOE. (laughing) - What am I? - Elemental. - Yeah, like that was in. - Healer. (laughing) - I do feel like your humor is like, mage humor. - Thanks bro. - Mage humor? - Yeah, it's like, it's like from the long range. - It works really well in certain lands for two damage. - But it's never missing, you know what I mean? - Yeah, she's definitely early on the ant thing. - I think she made me laugh hard. He was like, I imagine I'd have to be a man in this dream. - So it was funny of me. - One of my favorite things about Ludwig, but also something I have to be disdain for because he wins so much in his life, is the rare scenario where he will meet like, normy friends of mine that have really no idea what he does. But then he's still the most electric person in the room. - Yeah. - And I have, I have mixed feelings. - Let me tell you this, he honed his skills through streaming because he didn't used to be like this. He used to be a fucking drag. - Not true bro, and you fucking know it bro. (laughing) - He was never a drag bro. - He would be a drag? Okay, if Ludwig got seven beers in him. - With the first one we met, there were sparks and you're acting like it wasn't electric night. - And you know what, Viona, it's fucking true. - But also seven beers turns into the most evil man in the world or the coolest man in the world back then. It was a 50-50. - And now I don't drink. - And now you don't drink. - Five months clean off that shit. - I'll fucking clean you up for five months. - And I'll break it tonight with one night for you. - Okay. - That's how he's so hot and cold with me. This is how he gets sometimes. - I feel like you just have the craziest hate sex. - Oh, I could pleasure him like he's not ever been pleasure before. - I would make him scream like an ant. (laughing) - I think, oh my God, and I'm a big fucking piece of candy. I'm like, I'm a big jolly rancher on the ground. And you're just all over me, bro. - Oh, we need to say today. - You're an ant, I'm a fucking sucker. That's been dropped through the amusement park. - Be on a fucking show like all over me, bro. - Anything you want to say. - Took me back to the hill. Guess I got to share you with my friend. - And the one you want to thank or talk. Anything you want people to direct you to. - No. - Nothing. - You really don't care anymore. - I'm fan fan. - Fan fan, you stream on Twitch and it's your main source of income and your main vehicle for doing what you do. - Fan fan. - Fan fan, my mom will since every episode. Is there anything you'd like to tell her? - Hello, mother Nick. - I did. - My mom. - My mom, birthed me. - Time important person. - We'll never say the C word in front of you 'cause I respect you. - I respect you too. What is that? What I just catch at your eye, what is that? - There was a glint. - I was supposed to like, not miss that, was it? - I respect you as well. - What do you, don't look? Don't cut, Archie, don't cut to any. Don't cut to that camera, stay out of me. - I don't know if it's the way I'm saying it, but I do. - It's the eyes. - Yeah, I respect him. - Okay, there was. - All right, fan fans, thanks for coming on. - Thanks for having me on. - Thanks for going on. We're gonna go to the picture on your episode. Fan fan will magically disappear out of the van seat that she's sitting in and it might likely be the four of us or maybe three of us. - I don't wanna do it. I'm deciding not to do it. - He's late. - He's late for Squeaks' this thing. Anyway, boom. Bye. - Boom. - Bye-bye.