Ep. 225 - We Ask Really Stupid Questions

Tyler, what up? Welcome back to the show. How's it going pussy Tyler? I see you got a new black hat That's awesome man. You're not even adding a ding off camera Well, all we wanted to tell you Tyler is that if you go to yard dot sail You can get the yard black hat the classic one. It's back book that take it off I take it off site. Yeah, it's how it's way better. The only way to take it off is if you all go buy it Here's the thing here's the here's the I bought a thousand of the hats last time it came out so I don't could get them I'm gonna resell in the hats on grailed you've been grailing the yard hats. Yeah, please get to the hat before Tyler gets to them all I don't know how he hatched this plan. I didn't know he knew about shapes and numbers Tell me about it. It's called dropshaping. Look. There's a big graphic of it And if you want a hat go buy it and I'll enjoy the episode if you buy it without you know I can't wait to invite you to see eight and less He's make up songs the same. That's kind of forward her to today because you said today. Yeah, it's shoday today Oh, you speak your ruby now Of course I do. Yeah, of course I do. What country is it from? Yorobi. Yeah, that is the name of the lady that Morpheus is in love with in the matrix. Actually, I'm fact It's actually the native tongue of Mexico But you know what you both nailed it And I wish and I wish I could have had this already people can be Right twice. Yes, and that's me people can be right wing. You're doing the beard again. Yeah, I'm growing it out for the whole month It's November. It's November. It's November and I support men's health. Uh-huh. He's sorry. Sorry ladies Did you give it some month the word girls are their girls and you were with you? He's talking to all the ladies in the world I thought we were the ladies. I honest to God till now thought he was a woman Would you go on a date with me if you thought I was a woman I'm taken No, let me set it up. You're okay, so you didn't beat off this morning. No, he's okay, and you're at the bar. You're your tents, bro I'll just put it that way I'm tense and we're at the bar and you see me across the room And I turn my head slow motion, but like only for you. It's kind of like weird. Like sensation. You see me You're gonna throw up. You see You, dude, why are you sweating? Sorry. I'm sweating under your eyes. I saw you there's the worst thing I've seen all day I'm really tense. I've never seen you approach me. I have I haven't jerked off yet today It's right and now I'm not gonna. Yeah, I'm a man. So oh, I'm a guy. Yeah, no problem I mean, I even care about that either. I even care about that. Okay You you genuinely wouldn't what if Nick? Okay, how about this for brain twister? Okay, crazy brain twist Hit me. I'm I love these what if you never met cutie syndrome. She never was born. She didn't exist There's a terminator situation and she just never existed and it's it would be tragic, but with butter today I start crafting her Today like out like a statue and cuz I and I would be like I know there's someone like this Right, right, but I'm just crafting it out of butter every day and every day it melts The neck I can only craft at night. Yeah, and then you have to feed the village because there's a more butter cuz you used all of it And you gotta decide if you take down the statue or if you feed the village all these days past by of you making this butter statue This woman, but then you realize you don't need to do that anymore because Nick Walks in to the coffee shop you're in and he looks just like cuties under all that has never existed right and this Looks like the butter woman you've been trying to do. I'd be your butter girl. So it's it's a woman and look and and but the exact personality of Nick Does he know it's me? He's never met either of us. Yeah, you don't exist either, but no one's thinking about her such of you Okay, so this is September two, maybe dude, it's jikoski's Romeo and Juliet. I see him Would you gave me if I was warm, but it's all it's I'm the I'm the personality. Oh, no, I would love you until Until I go to yield coffee tavern and I get me a coffee and then I receive a fucking scroll from him That's like okay, can you get me a coffee now? And it's like oh, oh while I'm leaving the tavern. Yeah, that's fine. I guess this is not in the middle ages This is why I'm making a woman of butter. It's definitely the middle ages. I thought you're doing it in 2025 He doesn't exist in the middle ages because they don't have call of duty and all kinds of kids You know oat milk and things he needs. Yeah, I would know all milk you would lose it I actually don't know what I would fucking do. It would ruin him a lot for me. Yeah, you would probably just like drive a new Little river just trick shotting with those heroes trying to be the coolest kid and you would you do the same Sure, you'd set a force on fire you trick shot with those arrows. Oh, that was alleged it never happened You would you would probably you'd probably have killed someone We all would have killed someone. That's how it worked back then I know I wouldn't have you would have I wouldn't have to survive. No Okay, then you would have died what me me and then I would have killed someone. That's what I'm saying Do you do you she looks like the beautiful visage of your girlfriend that never existed but has nicks personality And it's not in the middle ages in the modern day. Yes, how does that go? No, you know what better question. It is her, but it's my body See now that is a classic and it's really her that is what I'm making I still love you. Yeah, what it's because I'm like like Nick. No, no, that I would be full. I would rather her in Nick's body Wow, ravishing that every night The Nick in her body Which I wouldn't touch just plugging up his mouth with your dick. Yes Because here's the question here's if she got Harvey dented Don't point you're pointing so closely. You do it. If she got if she got Harvey dented Okay, so she half her if your girlfriend got Harvey dented. Do you stay with your girlfriend? Harvey dented. Yes, I have her face No, she'd be busted She's busted. Is she still the mayor? Is she still the mayor of Chicago? She is she is what she she literally is the exact same But she happened to go through a Harvey dents situation my girlfriend turned two face. What she talking about her coworker? Okay, but is she she but she's not the mayor of Gotham She's not that she's the only relation to Harvey dented is that half her face is burnt and looks crazy No girls think they look with them without makeup. Yes, they're like oh my god. I look fucking horrible We okay if I I think I can make it work if I just we already sleep on the same side of the bed all or sort of the floor Always so I never so it's if it's the side Yeah, you're gonna wake up in the morning sometimes Harvey I think I would just constantly be at an angle right We would just it's like the moon rotation. You never see the other side. You definitely be a sit next to each other during dinner couple Oh, he ought to sit next to each other if your girlfriend soul was trapped in a car. Would you still drive the car never everywhere? And now and that's why if you crash the car and she feels all the pain Huh, then I and then I would say we'll buff that out What if it's a big pile up? Huh it's like a bad dude like she gets her new up like a cube and and I don't die and I'm driving the car You hardly would honestly safe car the safe car. You fly to the windshield everything. So then I'll then I'll think she protected me Scream you're gonna hear the scream. So so let me understand this you have another car. You're driving it Yeah, I would keep my girlfriend You're driving in another car, even though your girl's right there There's no other cars that are people. There's no other cars that are people Well, she's the only car person. You think you're the only car person. Well, you you made her a car you evil genie Well, just that's she's where she's trapped. You know what? I would just walk everywhere And I wouldn't take a bus because that's also bad a bus would be like an orgy. Yeah Oh my god be the worst a plane you took a bus here, and then you get in her and she's like oh Yeah, she's like Did you take it over here? Do you have people on sex on the bus or worse? What do you mean sex everywhere in the planet? I had a job on the bus in sixth grade no hand jobs are sex hand jobs or something. I'm saying sixth grade hand job It probably means adult sex is happening That's a good point, but I just wanted scales. I want the yard podcast to show that the hand jobs are not sex. I agree So I also want the yard podcast to show. We just said sixth grade hand job, and I'd prefer we didn't well That's what happened the sixth grader gave a hand there was a sixth grader at my middle school who got headed and it was crazy So everyone found out and I was like that's crazy. You feel weird about the secret hand job that you just open the door You open the door for the conversation. So you so he you're like, I hate I hate that and then he shows you a big picture of The worst shit ever and you said well, I guess we have to talk about it now yeah exactly that dives into the pool need that Dives on in oh, no, I know what you mean this guy Daniel in school He was reported to have had sex the first out of all of us. We're in seventh grade. That's so crazy. So yellow I know and we're and I like I looked at Daniel different after that because it was just a rumor. I couldn't I was busy What are you talking about sex? That was too busy Yeah, I was busy. Yeah, I could have and there was a lot of like opportunities of course, but I was just like locked into the math and I was too busy being. Well, yeah, me too. When I was when I was 12 years old. Yeah, I want to put my girlfriend's soul in a car. No, you don't. Yeah, I'd put her in a fucking I'd put her like a 86 like Chevy. Why would you put her in a car? Camaro. Oh, wow. Hmm. What would you? How about you do this? You ask what her soul would like to be put into? No, yeah, she picks up then she'd be like, I like the new Alantra. It's like that's not gonna age well. They look cool. I'm like better. That's something timeless. You into one timeless need something that fucking that barks. You know, I was just thinking I was like, it'd be so sad to put your girlfriend's soul into a car because cars like break down and it'd degrade. And then I was had this thought just now as like, well, that's what we do. Yeah, we break down into grade. But we also heal. Well, I was going to say our beautiful girlfriends. They don't ever break down and get to grade. They actually stay beautiful forever. And so I wouldn't be afraid to put her soul in a car because then the car would hold its value. Maybe forever. And it would hold its sheen and shine and not mine. Mine. There was this gasoline accident. She was on the ground. And it's spilled onto the ground. And then this guy, this clown came and litter on fire. That sucks. Now, I know I only look at her from like one angle. Yeah, I look at her on the inside. What would your GD wish be if you got a genie? A genie wish. Would you play the genie game? Now let me see it. Is it blue? Genie, I wish that you spread it with two fingers. Genie, let me see it. Genie, is it blue? And he's like, that's not a wish. Genie show it. And I'm like, I know, I only get three. And this is the only one of them. I would do something to make like Aiden's life hilarious. Yeah. Like something that would just torture him endlessly, but like in a funny way. Yeah, there's a one in 10 chance he falls out of a plane. He's flying in. I would use it to go into Aiden's house and do the opening and glorious bastard scene where he should shoot and throw his floor. Yeah. And then that's there's nothing there. And I get no social repercussions and no police and no, I don't go to jail. So I want to unload an entire clip into his floor. But there's no one underneath the floor. He's not hiding any Jewish people going and being like, you're dumping ELO in this house. Are you not? Mm-hmm. You're running it without utility or you're not. Can I speak in German for a moment? I would, yeah, I would do something. They just make his life really. The equivalent of tripping in brawl. I would give to him. Aiden, yeah, yeah, forever. So just something like that. Right. Like every time you always feel his tongue is like every time there's a one in 1,000 chance that he speaks, he, uh, he like farts really loud. Right. And it's like, it's small, but it's always there. And he speaks a lot. And then it just happens on one day of the year. Just inexplicably, he gets a mouthful of gum. Yeah. And he's like, Hey, can I get a wopper junior? Yeah. And he has to, and he has to handle it. He has to think on his feet that day. And then he comes over to his girlfriend. He's like, happened again. He's like, no, it happened two months ago. He's like, I know, okay. Would you rather? Would you rather? Every fart you're going to have for the rest of your life comes out right now. Yes. You love that dude. But they don't ever get any one of your rest your life. Yeah, I want to get a second. Okay. So you do, you have one and you're allowed to invite your friends, you can do it like a birth, like you can get in the tub and they can all get around. That would be so. We're, I mean, we're talking like we would go to Vegas. It would be hours, right? It would be crazy. I don't know how long it would be. That's interesting math. Ask a chat GPT or Grock or whatever. Uh, and then, or, uh, every time you can fart normally for the rest of your life, but every time you go to a fart, there's a 50, 50 chance you can't. Well, one of them is just drastically different. I think it's like a lot of pleasure right now. And one of them is you get to have your small dope. I mean, it's forever still, except sometimes you don't. I mean, flipping a coin all the time is kind of it built into us. So I think, I think it actually be more fun than you think. It's not like, I, I would love that it's a 50, 50 every time. It's not fun. Is that I would love to get it out. I want to get all of them out. I mean, yeah, they never have the urge to get farting. You hate farting. No, I don't. I hate farting. I hate when you fart. That's weird. Cause I celebrate your farts and your fart. I farted in my mic yesterday. And then I realized that it sticks on the mic. Sometimes it sticks on the mic. And then I, and then I went to speak in the mic. That's why you got sick. And I, and I fucked myself up. You did that on stream. Yeah. Oh my God. Your stream's different. Is it where you were there? Yeah. My bad on that one. Far down stream, bro. Yeah. I've farted on stream several times. Several times. There's girls in there, dude. Yeah. Like four of them. There's like four of them. I promise. My chopped bloody nose with the tissue sticking out of my face. As that's not the part. The fart's not the problem. That's why your nose blood is because the, the smell of the fart. Yeah. Like a fucking garlic. I'm off to that. I might laugh for the rest of my life. I imagine you farted and ate his nose started bleeding. It's like a horror movie. Oh my God, dude. He is not here by the way. Oh, yeah. I don't know if you know what he's an audio listeners. He's not here. He's in Japan with L.S. Which is like the age of consents 14. Yeah. Yeah. And they had like a something. They wanted a, you know, I was saying something about really cool people. I saw they come from a mile away. My joke was going to be they're investigating the age of consent, which is much more nefarious. Who knows what they'll do? It's an investigation. Who knows what to do? They're in L.S. and they hope they go to the blue bottle or a pongi. And otherwise I don't care. All they say, "Everything they do, I don't care." And I resent them for it. We need more wife people in Japan. Like brother, it is lame how everyone keeps going to Japan. True, bro. It's lame. It's like somewhere else. These people, they just get into Japan out of fucking what, nowhere, thin air. And then they're all becomes their whole personality. Do you know it's actually a side up. It's a side up for millennials and Gen X to enjoy Japan or Gen Z to enjoy Japan. From who? From who? Who's executing the side up? I would assume I would assume America. It's not the Department of Commerce in Tokyo. No, no. Why? What if it's like they don't have that power? What if it's like trolley, like gummy worms? What if they're trying to get us to eat more gummy worms again? What are you talking about? What is it? What is it? What is it? What if it's possible? It's like a sap from trolley. He always likes to point all conspiracies back to candy and sour candies. What's the most addictive substance in the world? Here he goes. I shouldn't have said candy. I don't think so. It's candy. You think stupid idiot. I almost went so mean. You fool. It's candy. Fool. It's all fed. Wars over opium. There's never been the candy war. Candy war would go crazy. Oh my god. I would be a fucking a knight's templor in the candy war. Oh my god. Me having a fucking, I'm you in the sour army. I'm not trying to take down the chocolate and the fucking to try. It's a fucking rat. We'd be so words only. All of the sour. I would fight. I would fight for sugar based candies and powder based candies. We would have a small but furious. You know, the candy corn like army would have guns and they would just win. The mall army is like North Korea. The mall army North Korea. That's such a dick thing. North Korea. They draw a Korean on the candy army. The mall army would be like Wisconsin. Wisconsin has an army. Yes. It's a candy war. But sheds are crumbling. So every guy we have every state has an army. It's not every state, but it's like Wisconsin gets one I guess. Wisconsin gets one. But then there's like the western coast and then there's like the desert southeast. What's the candy of the west coast? What do we like? Is it gum? I feel like we're gum. I don't think we're gum. The candy of the west coast. It's got to be something like social. That's such an amazing question because everyone has a different answer. Isn't that beautiful? Yeah, I don't think it's singular. It's probably like those fucking chocolate covered a sigh berries. Okay. Yeah, I think that's a good. A sigh of this. Or yeah, yeah, or a dark chocolate covered espresso. Yes, yes, it is something like that. Yeah, something decadent and pretentious. And costs $14 a bag. Yes. So I'm not fighting for them. In fact, I will slaughter them by the thousands. You're fighting for the red army. You're in Russia right now. Like anything red. No, I'm talking about I would fight for a fun dip, pixie sticks, bottle caps or anything, chalky. Stepping on gum in the candy war. You're like, is that moment where you like look up and then you can explode? You hear a click. You know there's the chalky gum? The shocking gum. Yeah, it's the prank. Where did that one go? I think I heard of that. Well, we just stop going to brick and mortar stores. You can probably buy a 10 of them. I'm a brick and mortar's all the time. I'm in preschools. I'm in elementary schools. I don't see them anywhere. That's not a store. No, but I'm there all the time. And I don't see I'm telling you I do not see them. I'm there. I'm there. So yeah, we're to the store today. You would put elementary school into the store. Order the store. That's a buy. Yeah, we need we need to bring back. You know what fell off is when you open up your delicious can of peanuts that you're they're salivating for because they're salty and they even say extra salty on the outside. And guess what? A bunch of fucking awesome snakes pop out. That fell off crazy. Dude, what the hell happened to that? Why did we get rid of the color? Snakes popping out of a canister that honestly if I can do if I get the last thing I see before I die Like deathbed moment or maybe I was killed like shot dead in Chicago The last thing I want to see is aid in genuinely opening And he's so he's excited excited. He's had his headphones on and he genuinely gets hit in the face by a snake And he's genuinely pissed because he really did he didn't expect it and he wanted peanuts and he would he would overreact in a way that makes The office uncomfortable. Let me pay for it. This is it. This is how it goes and he has his headphones on and he takes it and he's like Dude what the fuck what the fuck dude. I'm so tired of this. It's not a big deal, but He's not gonna call me shut up. Let me never remembers your name. Okay I'm thinking I'm typing on the keyboard with two fists What rather we're doing the people in the office you didn't 20 20 shit 20 20 20 20 20. Yeah, that's 20 20 shit, bro So you want to do make one of the trans people next what are you talking about you guys are making fun of old shit, bro You cannot create that's calling yingling stupid with the trans struggle. I think it's the same Okay, that's crazy. I think it's true. It might be it's true. I think yingling receives A and an adequate enough amount that it's it's equitable. That is you know what keep talking Seriously, it might be worse, it might be worse Yeah, the trans struggle is a lot, but my homie yingling has it a bit worse Why is it so funny? Huh? Why is it so funny if it's old shit? I don't know man. That's on dear. You know some haxia. That's what it is. It's not a hack. I got some haxia, bro You know it's hack. Wait for your Joe Rogan spot. You know it's hot calling everything pedophiles. That's out the door Yeah, you're addicted to it. Huh? You're addicted to it. What's the last thing I caught while it's today like today? Yeah, no it's true Yeah, yeah, just true. Yeah, you know, I'm just telling you. Here's a thing an old truth in that Colonel truth Colonel of truth in the candy war Colonel the Colonel, true, who stops the candy bottle caps are the best food and I take my land and they go. I'm officer dumb dumb Of course, who are you man in the candy war? Yeah, uh, I'd be I'd be part of the What do you fight for? What do you love what I fight for in the candy war? You would probably be a sniveling Strategist the fence sitter cock sucker always living always siding with the good the royalty. Yeah Disgusting, you'd be disgusting. Yeah. Okay, so I guess that's me then I'd die I guess that's my die atop of a giant pile of bodies that I led into battle you'd be lieutenant Toblerone I think I think I would be I'd be I'd fight for Mars Of course you would if I for fucking Mars. Of course, you fight for Mars And I would and I would my first order would be Harvey denting your girlfriends The other side to yeah, please both sides. Please just I'd say Harvey at both sides She's just before we storm the sweet factory. I've got two women I need These women Dude the sweet factory would be the fucking it would be they would be like going to the gun range of the store We're talking about the sweet factory. It's like the big candy store. What is the sweet factory? No, it's like the big candy chain the first sweet factory me. I don't know I thought you were talking about a building. No, it's like this is where you go to get like a sweet ammunition or maybe it'd be like the UN Like it's where all candies come together. I didn't know I've never heard of this. This is some L.A. shit This is an every mall in California. I've never seen a sweet factory, but no, it's different. No, it's it's sugar. That's what everyone goes to you Sugar. Yeah, look up. It's sugar. Okay, in a real war time. It has a little boxes a little like clear boxes It's sugar. I've never seen that's so modernized. This is like an airport's in shit. L.A. Bob out from the OC vibe Yeah, I mean in a real wartime economy, we wouldn't be going to the mall to get arms, you know What is that place in the war if it's all this candy? It's an armory. It'd be well fortified. I would hope so But it'd be awkward, right? Because if I'm fighting for team sour There's also chocolate in there, bro and You'd have a like a sweet factory chocolate edition. Oh, it had to be divided. Oh shit war is not awkward war is terrible, right? That place if I see someone from your guys is from the Mars faction for instance I'm shooting you 900,000 times with a bone arrow or something. Yeah You are not leaving there alive. This isn't bumping into someone at the airport. This is crazy shit You get your head blown off with a 50 cow bowl it and it's just you have a tongue and a chin and nothing else And I'm just holding a pack of rollos awkward turtle people were mad. We didn't do rollos in the tier list. Cut up. Why? Shut up. We did a two to have our tier list get over it. Yeah get over it We did we did like a thousand can we didn't miss what I didn't Apple tier listen people were like worst red delicious That means actually good question. You need to put red delicious yourself red delicious sucks Well, but you're supposed to put it on the tier list. Yeah, it wasn't there at the store. It is what it is. You do Fuji Yeah, I do Fuji you agree? So wait a red delicious though. That's like the Mario of apples. No No, no, no Grace myth Macintosh That's not the Mario of apples. They name they named the company after that Okay, all I'm saying is you're the tier list guy. Yeah, I defer to your expertise. Thank you. This changes how I feel. I'm right Changes how I feel about that, but I'm the guy defer to me I'm right right I'm right What was your favorite tier list you ever did, Ludwig? My favorite tier list. I didn't mind the chair one Would you say chair to your list of chairs. Yeah You they told you he's done a lot of tier list. Yeah, bro. The chair to the chair to the list is pretty good to do it to be fucking ranking anything Yeah, of course. No, that was a good one. Uh Yeah, but tier list kind of dead, you know Yeah, since we did it. No, I mean like we ended it probably general as a Yeah, I don't think tier lists are dead. I think that we've just gone through so many of them I think they're corny. This was my third time doing Halloween candy That's really interesting. I didn't know that Ludwig looks at the world through the lens of is this dead or is this lit? Yeah, burnt methods and it's burnt method I don't like that. I can't I can't I can't love it. I can't really do literally in a way how you look at the world Let's do you work with one example. Give me one example. We're ever done that ever We're talking about burnt methods. The pedophile comment you made earlier. You're saying that you opened the show by using it I don't open the show, but it was far it was far earlier. It was It was like how that was a burnt method. It was five minutes ago. I said that. Yeah. So Well done. Thank you Well, great. All right. You guys were saying that. That's good. That was easy Well, tier list. Yeah, I mean, but does it feel exhausting always looking for the next best thing? No, I ideas are fun to come up with You don't come up with your list. I do so. I'm sure it is. Okay, you're my next big one. Oh, I got it It's uh, it's a one-of-one challenge. Well, I already have a new series. It's it's like the new brovie bro But it's like a lockout bingo It's what lockout bingo lockout bingo. Yeah, so it's like you have a bingo board. Yeah, 25 options And uh, and like they have to be vague. So it's like die in a game And then you can choose what game you do it and the first one to do it locks that spot What is this race? Yes, you're racing some scavenger, huh? And it's like who has the best video game? To figure out how to do these Who did you who did you take this idea from and modify it? Petra core petra core as we took it from from our D&D show. Who's that? Is that a streamer? I think that is from D&D. Um, yeah, petra cores in our in our story the goddess of the plants. You took it from the goddess of the the forest That's crazy. That what you actually mean He's blowing his nose Ludwig's a little bit sick Is it bleeding? Oh, no, he's got a bloody nose. Y'all well, I guess it's just the two of us man. No, he's back If you're squeamish by the way if you're a child who can't look at a man with a little warning The twiggle warning quick swap Dude, quick stop stuff. You get bloody nose is a lot bro. Yeah, I'm sick Maybe you're gonna die soon. I mean if it's a horror movie or a disaster movie or any sort of movie. He's dead. Yeah So it's been nice knowing you Whoa, I think it's really messed up that the angels have a rally monkey that they keep. I don't even know if he's on payroll They have to pay has to dance at the game. I don't like that. So I'm gonna start a website to fundraise to free the rally monkey Breathe the rally monkey. We're gonna free the monkey You are you sure he's not getting paid because I can be on board, but no, of course I'm not sure But I've already gone through a new square space and made a website because they make it so easy sure You don't have to do research. You can just go to squarespace.com and you can make any website for any reason And they have great fundraising tools and a really easy website builder And I did it so easily it saved the rally monkey dot com so the the wheels are already in motion We have to save. Oh yeah, and there was zero research involved But I'm gonna save the rally monkey. I'm gonna free him from his prison I'm ready. I am your sword and I am your shield to free this animal And the thing is that it's such an easy it's so easy to find the website It's gonna be such a problem for the angels because the SEO tools that squarespace provides are so powerful So they're gonna have to reckon with how powerful My website is going to be for them. So you type in Anaheim Angels in the Google and it's free the rally monkey the rally monkey is being tortured now It's probably just going to be over if you look up my trout. It's probably just going to be first It's just going to be those free the rally monkey. We also own free the monkey dot org That's a different site and monkey in monkey freedom dot gov We have all three websites So if you want to make a website like me and have infinite power go to square space dot com slash yard and save 10% off your first purchase of your own website or domain And use code the yard. That's square space dot com slash yard and use code yard now Let me ask you how much money have you raised so far? No, I'm not a lick None just none. Well guess what I just put $10 into the coffers We're gonna free that monkey Free that monkey a dot com go to the website I'm sure it exists and let's go back to the episode real and aren't you but doesn't you're gonna make it? So petrachore inspired this idea. Yeah, petrachore did it. That's from dnd Yeah That's weird and I and I copy petrachore. Okay, but but no my new one Do I sound crazy you sound really you sound crazy? Yeah, I feel like I sound crazy You sound so like you always do so my new one is Cut in half Okay, one of you ones So like I get a potato you get a potato. Yeah, there's a blind between us We each have one slice. We got stuck it all out I guess they call the father juice out of the poison you think there's poison in a potato You think there's juicing poison and juice definitely juice is definitely juice already in the potato There's not juice in a potato. Have you heard a potato juice? There's some potato juice. There is for sure squeeze a potato It's like you can't you're gonna watch juice. You can't squeeze a potato. I could squeeze a potato You cannot squeeze a potato. I could squeeze a potato. I could get the juice out. Do you know what happens when you squeeze a potato? Yeah juice comes out No stupid bitch. No it crumbles. No, I guess there's so much. Have you ever touched a potato? Yes, dude Potatoes are 80% water. I mean Look up potato juice. Look up potato juice. Okay. Look up potato juice And then go images And then put NSFW He made a beep as a free my soul. I want that potato juice The Mars faction was oh, who's this one? You know how to do this one? No, no, you do hit enter NSFW and it was that was a baddie cartoon But yeah, we just cut something at half and we see who cut it half better. Oh, let the show. Yeah What show? Are you serious? Yeah Wait, I thought you meant the yard. No, there is nothing's not here. I don't know this exists This is this is a competitive show where they two people cut things in half and they're really fucking good at doing it Really evenly great? So we've never seen that and you had this idea. Oh, I saw short of someone doing it. Ah and there we are From the show I don't know what's the show. I don't know what it's called But it's just like it's it clearly is like a big event and there's like a commentator and like oh, okay He doesn't care about your show. I'm sorry. It's not mine. He doesn't think fuck your show, dude So is it a visual thing or a wait thing because in the show it's wait. They have to wait to say wait wait wait for sure I think I think you could differentiate I think it's a good Whoa, they got a little mall scales. Oh Like I fucking sucks acid this. Oh, that's because it's asymmetric. What is a bok choy? Yeah, I think it's bok choy That sucks, it's still there. Yeah, it's almost always you can tell it's European because they have a comma for the number Disgusting people. Oh my god. This guy rock cuts. See this is it. This is a strat. You just you just put the knife raw fucking in bro A lot a lot of people they like take the knife and they measure the sides and they try to like get this mathematical cut He's just jumping. Oh, I would eyeball this and eyeball increasing gamble that way. This is looking good. This is a great concept I'm so I'm so entranced right now Damn German, yeah Ja, let's see it bro. We like to read the vegetables. Oh, it's not bad after that we were put them in a butt not bad Dude Worse to put in your butt even though it's less. Oh, yuck Dude, I I tweeted a picture it is old picture of me DMing Aiden where I borrowed his underwear for some reason For some reason I had his underwear at my house and then I I put them on And I pissed in them a little Right and I sent him a picture of at least this blurry fucked up picture Yeah, and I was like hey, do you want your underwear back? Just peace This is like three years ago, and then he's like, uh, yeah Yeah, can you make sure you get those oil stains out? And I said no need it's piss Basically anything I do I get a comment. It's like 30 by the way and And that's the first time where I felt that When you posted your piss dribbled. I feel like you could only post that if you're there's a throwback really yeah It's way funnier. I feel like if like a 21-year-old post a picture with pee on the outline in their outline of their Peas in blocksters. It just a little makes me alone comfortable and what? What why it's like a younger guy Post a picture does show you when you're all to younger guy. That is a younger guy Yeah, but if you were doing a one-year-old girl guy leaves it open you know that you know Lost me dude, but well, that's why I think it's weird. It's not weird. It's just the same kind of humor applied to a more energetic Energetic, but I I think it's it's it's it's a little more funny though The further you get into a Age bracket where you're not supposed to be doing single guy like shit. Yeah, it's funny So anyway, I post this and it like it got like Which I don't get you know, that's just if you post it on the internet happens, but there's like a bunch of like people who love pee Like started saying like this is yummy Yummy, what have I done so there's like this like you know this section of like so people are beating it your gay piss River yeah, and there's like gay piss Twitter like tagging each other and shit and being like So yeah, big drop today. Yeah, and I'm like oh my god, it's super bowl. That's what I guess I guess that's like I'm Desired in that circle. That's awesome, which is like okay sure I don't like it, but it's outside. I don't you know, I mean you fed them what yeah, I fed them Do the do the do the pants pistols and the diaper play people get along or they at odds with one another? I see yeah because I feel like small communities like that much like the the left in fights Yeah, true could be like a melee ultimate angle, but if you're wearing a diaper It's like it almost feels like you're preventing yourself from pissing your pants. Whereas if you piss your fucking pants That's a these are staying brother. Well, I pissed your pants. Yeah, that's a good point because diaper play people like putting the diaper on It's a covert action. Yeah, it's like I'm peeing and pooping but nobody knows right as you can smell me But a pissing your pants is saying it to everyone else. Hey, it's saying It's like you don't girl say I'm gonna pee myself. Yeah. Yeah, that's real They pee themselves sometimes they pee themselves. They pee themselves sometimes. I thought it was like a euphemism I don't understand like I'm laughing so hard to go piss myself. Do I mean I go from pee laughing the other day It was one of the greatest feelings of all time. Oh, but they actually that's what I'm saying. They actually pee They actually piss themselves. Yeah, they actually will do it. Yeah, is that So it's the worst off predators It's like a scope spray Not the predators I've been attracted on Twitter But you've experiences. Yeah, I've experienced this girls pee man. They don't poop But they pee like super to piss yourself huh you mean zipper to piss yourself. Yeah, she pissed yourself laughing It was awesome. I love it. The funniest guy. Yeah, that is what I mean what do you say? I said are you are you actually pig and she was like no, no, what was the I don't I don't remember I have to ask her I'm not sure don't even it was a make her piss yourself. It was literally and it was any other day for me Just like that it was literally just me in the fucking kitchen just saying anything bad you make cutie laugh. Do I make her laugh? I feel like when you I don't know I think about it your bits. I feed to her or I have arrived in this place where it's like he's singing again Yeah, I think she hates most things I say I don't think my girlfriend fucks the moon. I don't know if she likes me You should ask her. All right. You should ask her. She thinks you're funny. Yeah, I was like you're just like go like like there's no way My girlfriend thinks I'm funny like she just I always think she courtesy laughs Yeah, wait, what am I asking her when's the last time I made you laugh? No, it's a last-hiver Hello Hello You're annoying about it. Yeah, you're on the yard. Whoa Wow, okay, we're crossing So look at that On the yard. Yeah, yeah, of course I love your cosplay I want to be on the yard too. Now you're good. Stop talking Apologize to Aiden and you can come on the yard You have to apologize to Aiden what you do to Aiden. Wait, what are guys? What what Aiden are cool? Is Valkyrie? Did she do so? Yeah? Yeah, she kept bothering him during six Go and he doubt didn't frag Oh, yeah, it's because you're bothering him when he's playing CS - and he didn't frag out Yeah, it's on you by any way girl. I'm just calling I was reading He's doing a drunk presentation >> He's going to dress up. >> Crazy's going on what about it because they didn't go on the yard anymore, but true. >> No, drama, okay, sorry, we're, what? >> I just wanted to ask you a simple question. >> Okay. >> When's the last time I made you laugh? >> I told you. >> I told you. >> No, I'm trying, I want to be honest. I don't know why there's more murmuring to you. I'm just trying to think, I'm just trying to be, I told you. >> It happened so often, it was probably this morning, probably. >> Everybody say this morning. >> Okay, so I'm never, okay, so you want this, I just, I'm just laughing all the time, that I just can't name an exact. >> Do you think I'm funny? >> For sure, of course. >> For sure, buddy. >> For sure, pal. >> It's one of your top quality. >> I also do. >> Why, it's what I do, you. >> We also can think of no example. >> She's getting coached. >> Ray in soil here. >> She's getting coached through this. >> Okay, okay, let me flip this script. One was last time I made you laugh. You remember that much? >> Yeah, yeah, you made me check all the time. >> Okay, name it then, bitch. >> Yesterday, when you were streaming with Ray and Sina, and you said I had a lot of Spanish guys in me. It wasn't when I said I could have cured COVID with my pussy. >> That one also made me laugh, but I wasn't thinking of that one. >> You know, when you made me laugh, is when we were at Halloween and you had the bread bowls, and you said you sure you don't want the inside of the bread bowl. And I said no, and you're like, where I come from, this is caviar. And I thought that was funny. >> Yeah. >> Well, you don't watch my stream enough then, Sina. I could get you chocolate. >> All right, well, you know what? This has been really helpful for me. >> No, sorry, I left this morning, for sure, when I was walking out, and I was like swift stuffed on the floor last night, and you were like, that's a weird guy. And I went, oh, my God. >> Okay, remember that? >> Yeah. >> That is so fun. >> Make sure to go to the morgue at four. >> Hey, QE, I have one more thing to tell you. >> What was it? >> Chose me a cake. >> Oh. >> Yeah, dude, this guy played 11 hours of league last yesterday. Like me. >> Mm-hm. >> And he had gold. >> And he had gold. >> Wow. >> Offline to Chose me a cake. >> That's so funny, but she made the bet. Because let me tell you, she's played-- >> Zero league. >> Maybe the first day, and not since. >> Yeah, she played-- >> Also, she loves making cakes. It's like, oh, no. >> Yeah, the bet was loser makes a cake for the other person. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I figured I would just go make the cake with her. I think that's a more fair. >> Uh, wow. So we got two gold gladiators. >> Gold gladiators. >> We call us in the discord you're in every room. We call them golden bulls. >> I mean the discord? >> We're with them. >> Dude loaded popped in the other night. >> I know, it was awesome. >> I have a thick golden bull, and this is my associate. >> Hello. >> So what is a plat guy? >> Yeah. >> Uh, just a fake rink. >> Platinum purse. >> This is absurd. >> I've got Platinum purse and I need a gold bull. >> Dude, I've got-- >> I need a gold bull. >> This is lovely. >> I was like, because I was thinking about it. I was like, I would watch this. I need him. I need him to do it. I said, go to mid, bro. Show us. I want to see you sorecoots. And then he's like, I tried-- >> I'll just play Galeo. >> I tried it, and it didn't go well. And there's one game on his profile of Galeo mid lane. >> He fucked up for not streaming it to us. I wanted to watch it. >> Dude, I'm like sick. QD's working because she's just working on someone's streamer rewards. And I'm just going through one game. And I just booted in raw. >> Who are you against in lane? >> It was Ari. >> Yeah, yeah. The Mario. >> And that is hard. >> And the whole thing was in Nightmare. Because I honest to God, thought Galeo just had a global ult. >> No, it's like-- >> It's not. >> It gets bigger over time. It gets bigger over time. But it's pretty, it's like maybe half the map. >> No, no, no, it's not. You have to do it on a teammate. >> Yeah. >> I thought you could just click. >> Yeah. I see. >> I thought it was like-- >> Like at the end, you could just click where you want. >> You got confused by the man. >> So I kept failing it, and then I finally read it. And I was like, this bitch sucks. It doesn't suck, but I'm not good enough to use it yet. >> Okay, well, I can't wait to you play what is it? 600 games and get good enough. And then show us what you're-- >> It's not even close as 600 for me. I don't know why you're disrespecting me. >> I'm not trying to disrespect. >> You know what I'm right. >> And I write your goal achievement to sit alone, respected, we are not the same. >> What are you talking about? >> Top 50% goes to Top 25. I'm half, I think. >> Could I half the people you play with? >> Well, wait, I think you should prove me wrong. >> I really think you should. >> I will, but I think-- Oh, wait, wait, I got-- You're a bitch. >> You're a bitch. >> You're a fucking bitch and you're bad at it. And you played an easy guy and you played the tutorial character and all this, whatever. >> You got to prove me wrong. >> Yeah, I prove wrong. >> Here's the thing. I'm busy right now. >> Busy doing what? >> Playing games of the year. Playing real games. >> Real games. >> Real games, yes. >> Fodding games? >> No, no, no. >> Are craters, my are craters? >> I haven't played it yet, but I am going to play it. >> Oh, that sounds-- >> Dishbatch? >> Oh, that sounds cool. >> Yeah, I almost played this game. Cool story, dude. >> Play fucking League of Legends. >> I'm playing Dishbatch right now. I got to play Exhibition 33. >> You're going to play that? >> Yes. >> Shit. >> They're going to list the games. I got to play real games. >> It wasn't so awesome. >> Is it awesome? >> I haven't played it yet. >> Exhibition 33. >> Can't tell you yet. >> None of us got to describe it. >> But League's a fake game. >> What do you mean by fake? >> It's a time-sake. It's a fake game. You do not get any more gamer cred for playing that game. >> So you're looking for cred? I don't understand. >> I actually think you really do get a lot of cred. >> No. >> I think Guy who played 11 hours yesterday. >> I actually think I'm awesome. And my girlfriend Peter's off laughing. >> Yeah, I had less games than him, which I put that out there. >> I want to fuck! >> It's like 15 less. >> Guy with 500 games versus 600 games. >> It's 15 or something. >> It's 15. >> Yeah, dude. >> Yeah, you can't say less. >> He just said it was more. Anyway, what are we going to say? I think that the big reason I wanted to play League in the first place was because people would talk about it. I just had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. And you just can't be put in the conversation. >> Yeah, but you understood what they were talking about by game like 100. And then you played 500 more. >> Yeah, I'll say it. >> Yeah. >> So I know what they're talking about. I watched Worlds and I enjoyed it. But getting to gold in mid would be like another, probably like, 30 games for me. >> You know what, you're right. It would be another three. >> And God forbid. >> And God forbid, because that 30 games, you put it in time wise, can allow me to play something that's considered a masterpiece. >> You're actually the meme of like, yeah, man, you're pretty close. You just need to work on your crosshair placement and map awareness at CSI and roaming at-- >> Platinum. >> Platinum. >> Platinum, two-time Platinum. >> Two-time Platinum. Effect Mrs. Darrell did say. But I will say this. I think you should do it, but you're not going to, because you're looking for some sort of cultural literacy, because it's now in the conversation, which I find kind of dumb, because you could have been doing this earlier. >> We were. >> We were. >> It's in the conversation. >> Everyone's talking about whether or not this game is game of the year, this game is game of the year, and now you're like, well, I got to play the games now. It's like, you could have done that earlier, but you didn't. >> I'm sure it because the game board is coming up. >> Ah, right. >> Okay, so I don't know, man. >> The game board is coming up. And I want to have my vote from the public be really well informed. >> Right, you can't play games off-stream, because it's a waste of time. I understand. >> Yeah. >> I played, I got my gums done, and I played Final Fantasy 16. And so I could write an essay on that. So if you ever play it, I'll write an essay. >> You should play it. >> It's got a lot of problems. It's all I'll say. >> I played Simpsons Fortnite. It was lit. That's just Fortnite, right? It's Fortnite, but everything is the Simpsons. You're in the Simpsons world. >> Right. >> Wait, you're in Springfield. >> Okay. >> Why don't you play that for a game of the year? What do you mean that? You know what's still the hot top gaming content on YouTube? Don't you care? >> No, my craft is. >> Okay. >> My craft is having a year right now. >> Yeah, I saw you playing some dumb bullshit. >> Is it weird that like the Roblox Minecraft Fortnite, they're all like these games where you craft and build and they're so big? Is it about that? >> Wait, what do you, I don't think that's Roblox weird. >> Roblox too, right? >> No. >> Isn't that like originally what it was? >> Maybe not, but not, I don't think that's what it is. Games where you create an environment where people can really understand. >> I don't really understand Roblox. >> Yeah, you know, originally, I get the like the what it's become. There's like a lot of community-made games inside of it. It's basically just like an engine of sorts to create other things. >> Yeah. >> But originally it wasn't exactly that, right? It was like its own standalone title. >> I don't know, I don't know history of Roblox. >> Well, ask that one guy who was a DJ. We should get him on the pod. >> He was bunded up. >> Well, yeah, but we could ask bunded up and that guy who made the George Fox. >> DJ Getta. David Getta. That clip is so awesome. >> Yeah, he'll know. But look, eventually I'll go to mid. I'll go back to the league train. But you know, that's forever. You don't have to do that. >> What would your off-roll be? >> My what? >> What would like your secondary roll be? Because you're going to get a port probably. Maybe something competitive, maybe ADC. Like me. >> Something competitive. >> Like something that you don't get. >> Because if you do jungle, you just get it filled a lot. >> Right, right, right. >> I was just a support. I want to get it like 15, 10, 15, 15. >> You don't get goal support. >> Oh, he didn't win his goal game either. >> Yeah, I haven't played the goal game yet. >> Whoa. >> I'm putting it up. >> Just deraking for 11 hours today. >> Yeah, I absolutely like three in a row. to go back 'cause you get the protection. - Ranger things have happened. - Stranger things have happened. - No, I cracked the elo push and I figured it out. - He says he figured it out. - I finally figured it out. - Look at my last three days, 40% MVP. - Wait, what'd you think about Gold guy? - Gold guy. - Gold man. - Oh, the golden man? - Yeah, this is his profile. - I thought it was an interesting idea, but I don't think I'm interested in doing that right now. I've been rotting away and feeling really nice about it. It's 'cause I got my gum surgery, right? So I had to sit and do nothing. And I've go through these cycles in my life where I just like something happens or I voluntarily choose it to sit and rot and just like play video games or something and it's really nice. - It's just streaming but not streaming, yeah. - It's not streaming. 'Cause streaming, like I haven't, I went the other day for eight hours without speaking. - You know what I mean? - That's not streaming. - Dude, it makes me sad. - I get depressed when I do that. - Do what? - When I just like, like playing league has been not rewarding at all. Not at all. There has been rewarding parts of it. But I've spent more days than I have in a really long time since like early COVID where I just sat in my room all day. Didn't talk much, didn't do anything, didn't get any sunlight. And I try to make more of like a conscious effort to like the other day I just went outside and just looked at the sun with my eyes closed. - Okay. - My eyes closed. I was like this. And it was felt awesome. - I think that I get really energized. Like I'll come out of that day where I didn't do anything and I'm like, I feel the most fucking funny and like active and like it's sharp. - It's crazy. - I know. It's, I think it's the truly, - You need, you need trivert shit. - Iron Dar. - Yeah, man. - Yeah, but like, I think my battery, my battery is so, it needs so much time. It's very detrimental. Like a normal life. - You're a freaking snail. - I don't think we have to get hurtful. - That's not a bad thing. - I'm bearing my soul and you're calling me names. - Yeah, snail. What's wrong with snail? - Do you think a snail is a noble animal? You're gonna say yes, but you don't mean it. - I do think a snail is a noble animal, yeah? - And he doesn't mean it. - Top tier of animals that you step on. - Oh Jesus. - I would hate to step on a snail. - No. - It just has the most of like a sound feeling. - They would feel like an egg. - I don't want to. - I would hate to step on an egg. - I don't know. - He would be so much better than stepping on like a piece of gum. - Yeah. - He would be like stepping on a crunchy leaf. - I don't know if it would. No, no, no, no, no. - You're the first thing to step on. - You are crazy for that. - What's the crunchy leaf of animals? - The crunchy leaf of animals? - Cockroach? - No, I wouldn't. I don't think there's an animal I would love to step on. - Yeah, I don't like stepping on them. - You told me no, it's definitely not crunchy leaf, so you clearly have some opinion on the matter. - Well, but crunchy leaf is a good thing. So I think there's at least bad animals to step on, but I don't think there's like a great, 'cause a crunchy leaf you see and you're excited to step on it. - No one gets harmed in a crunchy leaf situation. - Maybe like a dog. - Yeah. - I was thinking of a cat. - Yeah, I see a dog and I think yummy and then I go, (snores) - No, 'cause dogs would yell. The thing about a snail way, they would go like, (snores) - You're a sociopath. - You're being cruel. - You haven't actually do it. Where was playing in the playground of ideas. - I feel like you did. - You sat, yeah. You brought this out. - You think I would run stepping on snails. - Yes, that's right. You brought it up like you do. - I think you magnified glass on ants. - Oh, we all tried that. - Yeah, I did. - Yeah, I felt really bad after. I was like, well, I shouldn't do that. - I didn't feel bad. - And then I did it on myself. - Yeah, and it hurts. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, but when you do it on ants, ants, I feel like they're stepbable. I don't care about that. - They don't have lungs, bro. - There's no joy stepping on an ant. - There's no joy. Well, I'm actually tired. - No, my line of thinking. 'Cause like an ant brings you no joy. There's no bones. - No, but there's no, but I'm saying there's no animal that. - What bigger animal with more of your bones? - Maybe a shell. - You're just saying it's snail again. - Well, yeah. - Yeah. - We get it so weird. - Guys, guy who hates snails, dude. (laughing) Imagine. - Dude, you're fucking people eat snails. That's better. - Yes, true. - That's true. - That's true. - You get dumb, you eat dumb. - So, okay. - They're sisters. - You see spider. What do you do? - Uh. - You grow, it's like, "There's a spider, help." What do you do? If she gives me the order to kill, I kill. - I am a 50/50 whether I catch and release, 'cause I do have a little bug catcher at home and he has a magnifying glass built into it and you can check out your bug after. - Can we have a TikTok shot? - Yeah, that's what you do. - And magnifying. - She bought it. I don't know. One day, she's like, "Look what I bought. It's a catch bug in her house." And I was like, "Cool." And then we get a crazy bug every once in a while. And I'm like, "Look it up." It's like a bug catching magnifying glass. And every once in a while, you get to a crazy spider and you look at it. And it's like under the microscope and it's sick. And then 50/50 chance if it's in like a really, yeah, this is exactly the one. - Whoa. - It's good. It's good. You should have one of these in your house. And then if it's in a inconvenient place, like maybe it's on the ceiling and I'm gonna jump grab it. I'm gonna jump grab it. It's dead. - You jump smush. - Yeah, it's not a towel. - Don't say grab. 'Cause it's a jump kill. - Well, it's a grab that kills it. 'Cause you're not smushing it on the ceiling. - I see, see. - Yeah, I'm not like, 'cause it's a splatter on the ceiling. I'm like, paper towel, jump, grab, fall, perfect catch, trash can. - I like the moment when you do the jump grab where you're like, "Maybe I didn't use enough force to kill it." - Yeah, yeah, you're like, "Oh." - You're just like, "Who knows?" - I treat every animal to respect. - But you don't look. That's not true. - Jump stroke. - The shit. - And I get 'em off. - You left top. - And I say, "Have a good one, bro." - The shit, you say to swift when cutie's not looking. - Oh my God. - I lost it. - I lost it on the other day. - What did he do? - He, well, cutie wasn't home. I'm sick, I'm trying to sleep. I stayed up 'til 4 a.m. watching Worlds. It's the next day. It's Sunday, this is yesterday. And I feel, I just feel cruddy. I feel cruddy 'cause I didn't sleep enough, 'cause I'm sick. So I'm trying to get some z's and I sleep a bit, but cutie leaves. Just go to work. So Swift starts his fucking, "Oh my God, a fucking dog." - You whip your phone out. - And he's not, and he's doing an upstairs dance. He's doing it everywhere. There's nowhere to hide from him. And I'm trying, and I'm trying to stop him. It was from when I started petting him. And he's doing it while I'm petting him. - You're petting the hair off his fucking head. - And I'm like, and I'm like, "Swept." And then I start how, I'm trying to stretch. I'm, I'm out of my mind. I'm going. And he stops and then he joins me. And I'm like, "Oh, God." And he will stop. And then, and then I'm like, "All right, I'll take it. "I'll take it." She gets home, she sits on the couch with me. The first thing he does is jumps on my fucking face to get to her, like a, like I'm a doormat. - Yeah. - And I literally, I get up and I fucking, and I just have my fist balled, and I go, and I just go, "I gotta take a bath." - You rage quit? - I rage quit. I couldn't handle it. - I love that. And then later he came up and I fucking swung on him, never told her. - He swung on it. - His left jaw is hanging from his right. - He swipped in the face. - That fucking dog, man. What the fuck's wrong with him? - He treats me like a damn doormat, 'cause he only has eyes for her, and I get it. - She's breath-taking. - Here's a question. Do you think you love cutie more than Swift does? (laughs) - No. For the cutie audio listeners, he had said yes. (laughs) And he bought you a Birken bag. - I don't think anyone could. I would love to claim that I could, but no one does. - Yeah. I guess it's kind of sweet, right? The animal is a vessel filled with only love for her. - Yes. - And nothing else. - There's no, like, 'cause like, when she's gone, you know, like I'm sad, like, ah, I can play some league. And he's never thought that. He's never thought like, oh, I could, I could like, play with my assholes. - Yeah, 'cause I could walk in a circle somewhere. - Yeah, could you train an animal to love you if you never fed it? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, yeah, I mean, is someone else feeding him? - Someone else is feeding them. And the dog knows who's feeding them. - Yeah, I feed Swift almost every night. - But the dog doesn't love you. - Yeah, I know. - Oh, that's my point. - Yeah. - That's what he's saying. - Beautiful. - I feed Swift pretty. - Basically every night, and he, you know, give it shit. - Nah, you're the guy who brings the food for her. - He knows, I give it. He looks like all excited when I go upstairs. He falls me. - Yeah, I think it's, this is provable. - It's cool that you can shake a bag and a dog knows about to get fed. But then, like, when you need a dog to fucking understand what you want, it doesn't do it. Like, you can't tell Swift to stop howling, but they're clearly smart. - You know, we need to do to train dogs, much like Aiden. We need to put the colorful prank snakes in their food. - Oh! - No, Swift would literally have PTSD for the rest of life. Imagine you open, like, oh my God, phytochao. I love phytochao. I think you would actually be able to speak. - Yeah, he'd be like, like, happy going to the fucking food. And then he'd be like, what the fuck? Like me out. - I hated that. I hated that. - Stop playing with me. (laughs) - That's what it sounds like? - That's what it sounds like. (laughs) - Guys, my feedback is empty. - What? - The bag that you guys tie around my neck and fill with oats and such is empty. - Yeah. - What about the carrot on the stick to help you run? - That's also not there anymore. - That's probably why he stopped running. - Dude, when I run out, you were on feedback duty, so. - Yeah, well, the thing is I ran out of feed. It's just too expensive to keep buying feed. And honestly, the amount of time it takes to cook the feed. You're cooking the feed. I'm a cook in the feed. - I don't even taste it or like the feed. - I know. I know. And I need another plan. - Well, you know what? It's been saving me a lot of time. Is I've just been using a hungry root. - Wait, you guys don't eat the feed? - Wait, hungry root. - Hungry root. - Yeah, exactly, that's what I'm using. - That's something I've never heard of. - Well, imagine having your whole week of meals already decided for you and personalized with different options. - By who, could I trust them? - You can trust them, it's hungry root. I trust them. - What do they do? - They provide to you pre-portioned meals that you can cook at home. - But you guys are eating real food? - Well, hold up, you shut. - Well, if you're trying about your right now, well. - Yeah, we eat like high quality, nutritious food. There's over 15,000 recipes that Hungry root actually has. - What we could do is we could eat these meals how long they take to make. - How they'd make today? Oh my God, you don't even understand. It's 15 minutes or less every single time. - We make these meals for each other. We eat these meals, whatever's left over, we put in the feed bag. - We put in the feed bag, and then he can have some of our Hungry root. And it's really nutritious for him and good. - What if, what do you think about this big guy? Beef tacos with rainbow slaw. - Or salmon with broccoli and spinach, 'cause I know you like spinach. - Well, I don't get-- - Rainbow slaw is what happens when Aiden throws up. - But I don't get the actual, I get whatever's left over. - Yeah, you would get pieces of salmon with broccoli and spinach, your pesto big salmon plus veggies. - Why not make a Hungry root and then pour it into my bag, for me? - Well, I'll tell you, go to Hungry root.com/theyard and use code the yard sign. That's why I can get 40% off your first box plus, get a free item in every box for life. - You can get the free item. 40% off if you go to Hungry root.com/theyard, use code the yard, get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice. - So get your free item at Hungry root.com/theyard. - So what are you gonna get better? You got some sort of insane virus. - I mean, I'm better. It's just gonna take like a-- - Guy you oughta nosebleed, Guy who keeps coughing. - This guy looks like shit. - It's the runoff stage, it's the runoff week. - So you think you can run a marathon right now? - No, but I could do like a 5K faster than you, for sure. - Oh my god, I can't run, so. I look like a fucking piece of shit. - Wait, why can't you run? - I don't know, 'cause I look like a piece of shit every time I fucking run. - No, you can't run 'cause I'm running. - 'Cause I'm a fucking low cow and I fucking run and then the world-- - You're like a gold bowl. - Made of actual metal. - Made of actual metal, indenting the road every time you step. - You wield an interesting power, Ludwig, because sometimes you will come and talk to me and you will just be insanely supportive. And then other times, you will cut me with your words like a sword. - Yes. - And I don't know-- - So-- - I never know what to make heads of tails of. - Well, I support you when you're pushing yourself and I cut you when you don't. - Excuse me? - I mean, since you started this league journey, the gym has not seen you. - It's true. - It hasn't seen you once. - No, it's seen me. - It has. - It's seen you walk by. - We literally walked out together, see your line. - Hate to see you go, love to watch you walk away. - It's 'cause I got a nice ass. - Well, the gym is the opposite. - Even on 35. - Hate to see you go, love to watch it. - The gym doesn't want to watch you walk away. - What are you talking about? - I'm not piping up for it. - Do you know where the gym is? - Yeah, I get it. - Do you know where it is? - I'm pretty sure it's like next to the bathroom. - I'm the whale on this podcast. I've slimmed down a lot. I'm down 10 pounds. I think I'm leaner than both you. - How much do I weigh? - Like 185? - No. - You're getting there though. - I'm saying I'm leaner. - I don't know, sure, whatever. - I have a lower body fat. - But you weigh more. - Yeah, but like-- - Yeah. - Sort of store Bjornson. - I don't know, sometimes you say things and they're supposed to be taken as inspiring. - Uh-huh. - And I get confused. - 'Cause it doesn't inspire you, you get cut. - It doesn't, no, it's that your words are snake-like. - Right. - They slither around my thoughts, constrict them, and then release them, and I don't know what to make of it. - What do you want to hear? You run normal? - You'll be the lie. - I don't know. - You run normal and hostile. - I don't know what I want to hear. - Yeah, I want to see it more. (laughs) 'Cause you run so awesome. - I think if you come up to someone and say to Hey, bro, you really run normal. - Yeah. - I think that's a weird thing to say. - I would think I run weird. - So that is how you want me to do? - So what am I supposed to do? - What am I supposed to do? - I think you put you in like a mech suit. That forces your body to run the way everyone else runs. - I would love that. 'Cause then I would know what it felt like. - Yeah. - Oh, they do that with golf swings. - Really? - Yeah, like you'll, they have golf machines that will go through the exact motion tiger woods does. - Oh. - And it doesn't move until you do that motion with your body. - That's so smart. - But that with running. - Dude, imagine like it's like simple putting his hand over your hand on the mouse. - Yeah. - Right when you're about to peak window. - They have, they have tech that I've used it before where they, they, the camera watches you on a treadmill and then it like turns your body into like points on like a stick figure and then it just tells you where your phone, like mathematically where it's wrong. - I don't trust that. - And you could do it. - I can't trust this screen or a robot and it humanized to train me. - Let's do a marathon. - I don't know what that is. - You just brought it up. - I'm sort of, - You just think you run a marathon right now. - 26.2 miles. - Is where they play all the Friday the 13th movies in a row. - Dude, I couldn't run a marathon. - We could all do it. - I could run a marathon. - You could all do it. We're all capable, but I'm old. - Yeah. - It's at the same time. - But I'm old. - Look, there's, there's a 55 year old who just did the 240 mile mo app. But he's lit. - Probably. - He ran it. - So, I would say we could do this. - Wait, 52 miles. - No, I think it's 240. - 240 miles? - Yeah. - It's fucking crazy. - Maybe it's kilometers. - It's like that movie, but way fucking longer. - That's a 20 mile. - That's a plane ride. - That's so crazy. - It's a small plane ride. - Yes. - Yeah. - And he did it. - Okay, was he one ahead? - I don't care. - I'm saying we do marathon. - That guy wants to head him. - Us three, you want to do it? - I don't want to commit and say yes and then nothing happens. So I'm going to say no. - We do nothing happens. - Because we do all this shit all the time. - Us three. - We do this and then it doesn't fucking. - We just set it up. - What up the track? - Yeah. - Us three. - I'll set it up. I guess that's the day we do it. - He does love goals. Ludwig without goals is just a, he's like a, a race. He's just, you want, he goes around and he's a ghost and he has nothing. - Diograded gold for three months. - I didn't care about that. - And then quits instantly, he hit the goal. - Quits literally the second after the goal. - I just, I don't understand it. - Yeah. - I don't understand stuff. - What? - Goal oriented? - Yeah. - You are. - I don't think I am. - Yeah. I'm definitely a very goal oriented. - You are for sure. You just like, factually went through the most goal oriented part of the year for you. - Me? - Yes. - Yeah, you had a specific goal in mind and then you went and then you worked on it. - Or you grinded it for hundreds of hours. - But I didn't do it good. - Right. - Okay. - It's a personal opinion about the matter. - It's more of like, if I really wanted, I guess the goal was-- - If I really wanted the goal, then I would have-- - But you wanted to do it your way. - Yeah, I guess I want to do it my way. - Yeah. That was the same. I specifically was like, I don't want coaching. I don't want, I want to find the answers within. That was my thing. - It's true. - I felt like if I got someone else to tell me, I could physically do it. Anyone could physically do it. - Doesn't feel good. - Doesn't feel good. I'm in a mech. - Yeah. - That's what all the people on stream always wanted. They're like, you got to do this, you got to do this. You just want to pilot the mech that is me to stop doing that. I'm not your mech to pilot. I am your fucking fat, fucker to laugh at. - The people giving you advice, I think, even don't even secretly, they don't even want it themselves. They want the stream to continue, man. - Yeah. - No, I felt it. I felt it a lot. - But what? - It's just so, it's like there's a poll to give advice. - Yeah, yeah. - Does it urge? - I've explained this to Josh, because Josh pissed me off. And then I was like, even, well like one of my best friends can't stop himself. - It's so hard. - From doing it. And I get it. - It's so, I get it so much. - It's really hard. When you're watching a friend play league, just in Discord and like, jungler shows up on the map and they don't say anything or do anything and you're like, has it behind you? - You just, you just have free mental sac. And you don't, like. - Yeah, you, I mean, you're projecting. It's, you just want to be in the game. You are watching the game. You want to see this man succeed. I get it, but you know, it doesn't stop me from getting enraged. - Sure. - I think that's the, that's the fun of it for people, I guess. - Oh no, man. All I know is that my gums hurt. - And then we're gonna run a marathon. - And we're gonna run a marathon. - 26. Here's the thing. - What? - I would do an equally sizable challenge if it was something that I think I could enjoy. I hate running. - Why don't, why don't you say something? As a thing or something, doing something you don't like. - Yeah, 'cause I just don't, it's a really hard, and it's a lot of time. I don't think I would enjoy the process. And so it would be an exercise to do something I really don't want to do, which would be, I guess, fruitful in a way. - That's it. - But like, I, I'd rather do something that like, I can't do, that would be hard to do, that I would enjoy more. - He'd rather eat candy. - Like, for example, what if we had to eat all the sourcane in the world? - Like, if someone was like, I challenge you to climb V10. I'd be like, that would be really fucking hard, but I'd enjoy training for it. - Right. I wouldn't enjoy running. - Yeah. - Yeah, he's the first to eat candy instead. - Yeah, I mean, running sucks. - This is different than what I'm saying. Obviously, I hear you, but that's why you do it. - Because of that reason. - Yes. - In spite of it. In spite of not enjoying something, you still do it. You push yourself. - Yeah, that's kind of beast. To be like, I hate this thing so fucking much. And I did it for, you know, 500 hours. - Like, I hate, I don't like cold punch guys. When a cold punch guy hits his thousandth day, I'm like, oh, it's beast. - Sure. - 'Cause it sucks every time. It's not like it gets easy to cold punch. And they did a thousand days. - Truly, it's easier. - Truly, it gets a little easier. - I think you can take it better, but no, [BLANK_AUDIO] I think the initial dip all this sucks. - I mean, I did it in a much smaller, I did it like 30 days. - You did 30 days every day cold plunging? - But where did you do it? - I had a cold plunging. - Yeah, the cold one is how it's remembered. - I don't remember it. - I got a cold plunging. - Yeah. - I had a cold plunging, I did it for like a month. And it, and for me, I never got to, as there's never a day I went in, I was like, fuck you. - Would you like, you notice the difference in your life? - No. - Not a single difference at all. - That's cool. - I love it, see this is good data. So if you're at home for some reason, listen to the yard podcast, be like, I should do cold plunging. - Oh, I'm gonna do a hot plung. Wake up, get into fucking Jacuzzi every morning. I'd be like, this is way litter. - Why is no one doing this? - Dude, dude, I get to do a hot plung today, I'm so wiped. - I said, I don't want to go all the way. So I just got in a bath. (laughing) So yeah, you didn't feel shit. - No, I didn't feel shit, it didn't change my mind. But there's a, like a metal shift, I think, to like just do shit you don't want to do. - Yeah, that's tough as fuck. - That part is good, that part, I think you do feel, 'cause like the cold plung is an allegory. - Yeah, one time, the wisest thing soon say, ever said to me, the guy we know named soon say, not like I soon say, was, you're talking about how he makes his bed every morning. And I'm like, that's crazy. You make your bed every morning. He's like, yeah. I'm like, I just, I hate making the bed. He's like, I also hate making the bed. Like, why do you do it? He's like, 'cause I hate making the bed. But if I wake up and do something, I really don't want to do as the first thing I do, then the rest of my day I can do anything I don't want to do. Because I got, I did it. And I'm like, oh, it's fine. Actually, wasn't that bad? - Yeah. - Whoa. - That's awesome. - Ah! - Well, love. Where's that work into your little fucking algorithm? - Good love? - Yeah. - Love should be limitless. But this one's everything, it's about shackled. - Well, I think if you have discipline, you can love harder. You can love better. - You can love people when you don't want to love them. - Yes. You can love them when it's hard to love them. - Yes! - Yes. - You get it. - I get it, bro. I'm in line. - But without discipline, you can only love and loves easy. - Oh. - And loves not always easy. - Oh my God, this is all about swift. This whole concept. - And I love him, and sometimes I really don't want to love him. Sometimes I hit him on the head with my fist. - Yeah. - So you have discipline. - Sometimes I crack his jaw. - Sometimes you throw him against the wall. - It's hard to know my step on. I'm like a snail. - Sometimes I spit him like Bowser. - Oh, dude, he would go so far. - Oh my God, dude. - If I miss my throws. - Over a mountain. - The long gay Swift. - Oh, marathon. - So we're gonna do marathon. - Winner wins the LA marathon. - May? - That's so soon. - So that's easy. We could do that six months and more. - I barely clear a mile right now. - Yeah, but I was saying six months and more of the off time. - Really? - For Joe Schmell. - Just do a mile. Yeah, Kurt Shady just said a marathon. He did 12, he did three. - No, he didn't. - Yes, he did. - Really? - Then he lose like fucking 80 pounds. - Yeah, but you don't need to lose 80 pound. You're already. - But I just mean like he clearly was. - I'm saying you are below, right, in terms of body fat percentage, where he went. So like you're saying, didn't he do this? That's, you're already better than him health wise. He just was in a bad spot and got healthy. You're already healthier. - He's not gonna run. - The last thing he gonna do is run. - That's true. - The last thing he gonna do is something he doesn't want to do. - He doesn't want to do. - But I'm just saying, Kurt, that's what I do. - Look at Kurt Shady marathon. I think he, his pace is very achievable. He's like a 1234 pace, 12 hours per mile. It took like 1230, 12 minutes in 30 plus seconds. - 12 hours a mile. - Okay, that's doable. - Which is like, it's like, it's like a jog. - Or in a half mile. - That's a good jog. How long is the whole thing? - How many miles is it? - 26. So I think it took him like five hours and he walked for some portion probably. - If you want to, yeah, if you need to. - I couldn't jog for five hours. - There's no way I could go for five hours. - You do like, think like grandpa pace. Like. - Yeah. - I just don't even think I could do anything for five hours. I don't interrupt it. - I think it bored him so jogging. - It's so insane, 'cause you played-- - Yeah, what do you do? - What's that, why? - But there's in a random hours of peak. - And now you're like, five hours are the same thing. - The equivalent here is being in one game for five hours. - I can do it. - It's not one game for five hours. - It's crazy. - Nope, I'm saying that like, the walking is between Q. - Yeah, but when you run, that's how, when you run, you divide your run and you segment it mentally. So it's like, you know, maybe each mile is a segment. And so that's your game. And now you have the next game. Or it could be each water station. Or it could be whatever, but you'll segment it. - It's like, you need to look at running like it's breathing, dude. - You need to look at running like it's fucking plain with your little bitch. - If you want to play with your little bitch, more than you want to breathe, then you're gonna come. (laughing) - Can I go, can I show you guys my gums? - Yeah, are they fucked up? - Will you be respected? - Oh, I think that he went in. He got part of his gums, put on his heart. - Take the gum from my sack and put it in my mouth. - He said I needed a gum. - Graphed onto my heart. - Yeah. - Because of the way I treat Calbee. - Yeah, that's true. - But it's not true. - Doctor Oak didn't say, hey, we actually noticed that your heart needs work. - That's true, 'cause Calbee, you guys are pestering him, saying who would be the top three people you want to watch League with? And you were like, you were sitting there like, I'm top three. - I thought it was top three. - And then you were in top three. You were like, I'm not top three. - It was crazy. - I did get mad. - As if he can't form his own list. - Show me your fucked up gums, man. - Well, he put Christian on the top, which I thought was very cute. - Yeah. - All right, you ready? Don't make that thing. - Okay. - You have to make your face that doesn't make me feel bad. - Look at me first then. I got you. - I can't see. - Oh, it's like, it's not that bad. But I mean, yummy. - It was honestly just came out for what he asked for. - It looks like a, how would dogs gums look? - Will you get close to me? - You ever see a dog's gums? - Sure. - How they're like, weirdly like purple? - Wait, I got a good idea. - I got you. - No, I was gonna say, yeah, pop that shit. - Oh, yeah. No, that looks so bad. That looks so hot. - It looks so hot. - Wait, so what was the surgery for again? - I've receding gums. - It looks good, honestly. Where do they get the gums from? - Probably from my mouth. You never listen. - They got it from my nuts. - They didn't take it from my nuts. Dude, nut skin on your gums would be so funny. - If they were like, hey, it's a procedure that's completely painless. It's like, it's like, you know, it's like dead skin. But they offered you to get it from your nuts or the roof of your mouth. - Why nuts? - Would you take your nuts? - Would you take Ludwig's nuts? - It's the lead. - Oh, don't name my nuts for his, oh, don't name my nuts for him. - I'll don't name my nuts for him. - Do we? Slime wakes up from surgery. He's like, what happened? It's like, you survived. It's like, with the help of a donation, you go over, it's the three of us. We're on hospital beds with big bandages on our dicks. (laughing) And every day, every day you swallow something. You're swallowing a bit of my nut. - Uh-huh. - Well, that's not your nuts. It's not your fucking cum. But it's your nuts. - There's my nuts. - It's your ball-sex skin. It's your salty nuts. - I'm getting rid of your head. - I think that'd be really funny. Yes, I think getting my own ball-sac, you know what I wouldn't do though, is butthole. I wouldn't take anyone's butthole. - That's fine. - I felt it. I went there. (laughing) We should do a nut crash. - What do you mean? - I empathic. - I empathic. I felt the butt being scraped. - Why don't we do it now? - First off, why don't we do a nut graft? - Oh, it's good. - For what do you mean? - Just go to a doctor, like a plastic surgeon, and say we want to share each other's nuts. - A little piece. - Like a tattoo. - Like Frankenstein. - Like a tattoo. - It looks like fucking oaky boogie. - I want it to look like Jacob a Lordy. (laughing) Put a bit of his nuts on mine. - Wait, my right half's purple. Who was purple? - Dude, yeah, it looks like a patched up coat. - Yes. - It looks like sally acrylics. - I remember before Chris's. (laughing) - Chuckie's face. - I would do that with you guys. I would get the four of us. It's like an unbreakable, awesome nut punch. - Where's that point? - It looks good at turkey. - Well, I would put, here's the thing. So I have this problem with my balls that you guys probably know. As you see my balls a lot, where it's, I have so much skin. - Yup. - You'd be a great donor. - Like, what a fat guy loses 100 pounds. - It does look like that, it's crazy. It's just so much. - Well, they're still growing. - And I don't know who I get, but they're not. They stopped growing, they're the size of grapes. - And the colors off. - The colors fine, don't be cruel. The colors so normal. Don't make me show you my balls right now. - Take a pastel. (laughing) - Take an Easter color. - You got a church-like color. - It's like the stock gradients in Photoshop. - My balls look fine, but there's too much skin and I need something to do with it. - Right, so donate. Donate to me, 'cause I wanna, I wanna, I'd put it over my perinium. - Dude, it's like donating hair. - Yes. I've saved up nuts. - Wow, maybe that's where all my genetics went. They went to building insane strength fast and efficiently, no hair and heavy insane nuts at skin. - I'm just saying once you win a marathon, you're gonna get more tea and then your nuts gonna fill out. - Yeah, man, I don't think I wanna commit to a marathon. I'm just gonna say no to you and then if I say yes later, it'll be awesome. - There's no yes later in life, it's a no. - All right. - Is it pressing a picture? - You failed the marathon. You got fucking bone spurs or some shit. - I got shin splints, but I'm back. - And you're gonna get 'em again. - Oh, it sucks so bad. - Is your bone suck? - You're always having bone problems? - So like, come out. - So sorry, we came up with an atheist brand of clothes. I wanted to show you. This is this shit's tough. This is atheist world's what world-wise. You would make this in between lead games Yeah, we in between lead games. We pop into Photoshop and we're we're developing the first atheist streetwear brand I know what you thought so that's the Vitruvian man Atheist world-wise in the front says it's just facts. Yeah Ricky Jervais is gonna love it Dude that was also another shirt. We had we had a Carl Sagan shirt We had a Ricky Dervais shirt and we had a Vitruvian man shirt Maybe if this was sold at his comedy stand-up tour, it would sell out. Oh my god Bro, I think it's first collab. You've crushed the Ricky Jervais merch line. Yeah, the first shirt also set up now just the Jeff Dunham one The Jeff don't Jeff Dunham is not an atheist. He's a god-fearing I'm saying now make the Jeff Dunham merch line so that atheism behavior. You don't believe in God for sure He's well actually. He's nothing god-fearing. It's false idol tree But sometimes for generational entertainers, we make a little wiggle room the way he treated Ahmed He's definitely gracious. I'll tell you that much Yeah, Ahmed believes in something. I'm like you guys peanut peanut's an atheist peanut. I don't remember peanut No peanuts an ape and they don't have god. That's what I'm trying to tell you But he is without God. He's not an atheist. He's agnostic. Well, is that that is atheist. Okay. Is that what atheists mean? God's real, right? So when you're an atheist Your Christian world wide your spirit your spirit within it's owned by the same We make them fucking in fight. We sell the merch to both sides. We tell them. Oh, yeah And we'd be like like have fake beef since and then and then you'd be like this one came first This Christian world might came first and we're an atheist world wise is doing a competition for the best t-shirt So you guys can submit in this chord. Oh, that'd be sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and what about Christian world wide? Christian world wide or well, it should be atheist world wise in Christian world wide No, because then they would make fat jokes about us Oh, worldwide does not lead to fat jokes Trust me. I make a lot of fat jokes I got I got this one Yeah, so if you're in the discord, please send me your put the designs in the chat Pick a side you're either with the crit you're either with the Christians within or the atheist world wise go into the Ludwig Server. Yeah, the world wide For all of them. Oh, you get that one The unused channel I'm one of the Christians worldwide for sure you guys are definitely on the atheist train The Christian side I I'd whoever decides the Aiden Christ shirt should be on the atheist side Me Because he's going to hell for that of course he is pulling up to hell what Me and Perkator was a shirt on oh Nick made this say what the fuck He's like yeah, man, you made that fucking really blast from his shirt dude and You played like a lot of league and said some crazy shit while you're playing What the fuck you saw that fucker Fuck you Just crying I didn't co-workers in my game. Yeah, you hate to be in co-worker. We're finally out of co-worker. You look co-worker Q You are not out of co-worker Q I'm out of co-worker you are not I'm finally into the game. I finally got to the rest of the game. Yeah, you finally got the rest of the game I do love that I do love that The grass is greener theory. It's not true. It's not you know. I found this out. I did a I did a Like a red bull shoot with Uh What was it? It was like a pro valor player Zexis Zexis. Yes, Zelfus. Zelfus. No, it's not second. Zelfus. Fuck who was it? Zexis is an a human look up valorant c9 roster. I think it's Zelfus man. No, what was that? Zelfus on sendals Zepa spin Zepa. I think it was that spin Zepa spin spin. I think it was Zepa Yeah, so I did I did I got there. Yay I did a sexist. Yeah, I think sexist. Zelfus is a real hard character. Yeah, but I did stream with Zexis and and it was playing in his Like on his smurf account to see how well I do it's like in a mortal. Yeah, a mortal fucking one but radiant lobby Do they're horrible? Like the people in the server were horrible to you like like they're mean to you that they're not to meet no just they were evil people They were just evil people. They ripped an F-sler. We had to mute it because it was like this red bull shirt They just started because there's as the player base gets smaller and smaller and smaller It becomes like a private discord server. It's like all the same people. They all know each other. It's our secret Silver it's the same No, it's massive amount of people. No, I'm saying you will run into that Also, I think the higher you go the more the people the people are distilled in a smaller groups and the people that are Going to sit and get good at a game like that of like for that many hours are gonna be a little insane and I guess what I mean is like I You know, I was believe there was like a land beyond where it's people who all understand how the characters work and want to work together to achieve a combined goal And what actually happens is you just get higher in rank and they just are more individually skilled But everyone is equally selfish. I think it's a bell curve I think there is a sweet spot where like you're in like early immortal where people are like I really want to get there and they're like I got to talk to these people like I got to make them my friends I don't want any interest and then you you learn that it actually has almost nothing to do with that And you just have to carry all your games and then you finally get there and you become evil again I think the only thing that goes away is surfing Yeah kind of yeah, yeah, cuz it inherently has to Yeah, yeah, that's the only thing that is saved and I think every other evil aspect that you have of solo queue exists throughout all levels Uh, that's fine. I think that's actually more that's it. That's a more comforting idea than the yes the golden land But you know, it was nice to believe there was a golden land. There was no there's no easy love You love believing in the golden land. I think the big the big difference between higher yellow and lower yellow That's less frustrating is like people can make plays that throw But good players just have ideas like they had an idea and they had an intention. It was just the wrong idea Whereas bad players don't have an idea They just kind of autopilot and die and that's more frustrating like when you're in league Like when your top laner is just going the lane and inting and dying over and over. They don't have an idea They just don't know how the game works But in high yellow it's like the same result But it doesn't make me as mad because I'm like I like when people have ideas and that's the golden land And even though it can be insane with enters and freaks and people who suck in our selfish at least they Even if they're like At least they're choosing to make the wrong decision not the fact that they don't know that they're making the wrong decision That's the frustrating part. I see so it's their evil intent But you're almost rather it'd be their ignorance. No No because ignorance can't be solved instantly you can reason with an evil man I think you can reason with an evil man, but you can't teach a stupid man how to play I think you can empathize with an ignorant man, but you cannot with an evil man And wouldn't nobody teach about a fish I don't care about empathizing with an evil man You don't want to if you attempt to reason you attempt to reason you attempt to empathize. No, it's a part of it Not the way I do it not the way I do it differently. Thanks. I logic. I use fashion logic well-wise I'm a man my marriage Yeah, it's like a shirt where it's like this graphic on the front But on the tongue it's a tab of acid and it says the truth Yo, and it's and it stars and it's stars and planets and cosmic rays and the Fibonacci Acid blotters with a Fibonacci sequence on it people have made those they have to yeah, of course And then they listen to tool and just go to fucking go to space Damn drugs are so gay Yeah, I want to do some I think I'm ready Post-leg for drugs. Yeah Yeah, I'm out. You got to do something man. Can't be out of time in I'm out on drugs, bro. If I'm in if I was like lovely. I'm down my drug. What drug? What drug? What drug? Shrooms You guys should you guys should do Molly acid Um Spice on Plan at any point if you want to do opium I will smoke opium with you. Oh my god. Dude. You're so cringe It's the Chinese drug cool. That's why he wants to do it. Fucker. Right? We got the blah blah. We do it in America Yeah, okay, and I believe it's not about that for him of course it is No, it's because they had a war over it. See I want the drug. They had a war over He said this before it makes no sense. There's never been a weed war. I hope there's no war overhead man You'll see you'll see me on the front lines I think they did have a war against it on it for head. They want a war overhead. Yeah. Who was it King Henry the eighth? Wanted to divorce his wife divorce was illegal. Didn't he have like eight wives? No, no He had one wife. He wanted to divorce his wife and because he wanted head from another woman And so he split the country of England from the Catholic Church. Oh, that'll do it Protestant. Did it work? So we can get some head Did you get it? Because he asked the Pope. He said can I divorce my wife? I want head from this baddie Yeah, and he's the Pope said no, no, no And then he said we're leaving and then they went to war I think this isn't true because if you're the king you can just get the head quietly somewhere Well, he really wanted the divorce go to your head. So it wasn't about the head. It was about being able to get the head in not in secret He wanted he wanted to get the head on his belly. This he want to be like this instead of being all shot That's greedy. Oh saying. Oh, the king was greedy. The king was greedy. Yes - Yes. - Fork found in kitchen. - I'm just saying, it's like you have everything and you want a little head, go get it. But don't freak out if you can't be on TV while it's happening. - Yeah, they wrote about this as an paradise last. They discussed this in depth. - Yeah, the disease of more. - And no, the disease of wanting head, actually specifically. - Right. - Head, it's just, when you talk about it for the gentleman who cannot utilize head, like me, I feel, once again, I'm in a glass case and I'm just looking at the world through the pain, you will. - I can't get the head disease. - There he is. - My booster shot. - Dude, imagine that guy's dick in your mouth. - He's got a little hurt. - I really just did. I couldn't control it. - It's salty, huh? - Yeah. (laughs) - Dude, he's got that shit on. - Yeah. - That is such a dope and crazy outfit. (laughs) - You're gonna be painted to be wearing whatever. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No matter what you're actually wearing. Actually, I think it does because the painter can't, they were bad back then and they can't just conjure something from memory. - The people actually just look like this or repainters just making people look like this. - People just look like that. - That's, I don't think that's true. - Look, how come dudes don't look like that no more? 'Cause they're not as in-bred. (gasps) - Yeah. - Is that it? - I mean, the king's lines were, yeah, they always kept the royal blood. - He was a very in-bred. - I mean, I'm in-bred or something. - It's the same and it's not fun to joke about. - You actually are. - Actually suffer. - You actually are. - Yes. - In-bred lives matter. (laughs) - Dude, please. - I guess so. - That's a t-shirt. (laughs) - Dude, it's in-bred lives. - Do you imagine he made a shirt, like a next mogul drop? - Yup. - And it just says, like, big college font in-bred. And then you have SpongeBob doing a money spread. - You have SpongeBob putting a bunch of fucking, I don't even know what the money is going on. - He makes his SpongeBob and he's holding the- - Yeah, they say SpongeBob's in Patrick's mouth. And then on the bag, it says, I fuck my brother. - I fuck my brother, thick seven. (laughs) - Patrick's doing this one in head. - That was such a, that was such a shoddy magazine cut out ransom note. And I still think it's funny. - It's already on Red Bubble. (laughs) - Do you guys make a t-shirt, man? - Making a t-shirt is like one of the coolest things you can do with your time. - Dude, QT has made like thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars from the Aiden - Yeah, I see that one a lot. - It's all, it's yeah. - And she's editing that shit on like paint. - Yeah, you know why too, 'cause it's affordable. You know, that's why everyone copped that one. - Yeah, it was like 20 bucks. - Yeah, she got like that Red Bubble present. - Yeah, we got our jerk off fucking awesome blanks. - This is a vintage blank. - It comes from, actually, Potslam Ball Second, everyone. - Hey, Puthi, he has so much skin that was able to put it in. - We treat it like mochi. And after we use that Poodoo, the Poodoo. - Poodoo. - Dude, dusting my nuts like mochi for her. (laughs) - Well, that's a time, everybody. - Yeah, that's what we're ending on. Jesus, it's gross. - I hope you enjoyed this Aidenless episode. You know, my gum's hurt. - What can you do about it? - If you want an Aiden full episode, I guess you can go watch that other shit. - Yeah, watch Lemonade Sandworthy, interviewing a billionaire and asking him how he got a shit so big. - Or if you want a Aiden full episode, or another more Aidenless episode, you can watch the Patreon episode after this. - Yeah, he's gone for the week and we are docking his pit. - It's already up. And we're docking his pit. - And I'm gonna show my tummy in it. - Goodbye.