Ep. 224 - OUR GOLDEN BOY

oh sorry it's phone time don't get me sick no it's okay you're gonna get it no i don't want to get it i have gum surgery tomorrow it's a high chance you're gonna get it take it take it take it from me i'm gonna have gum surgery take my illness from me and i'll be ill take my take my illness from me so ill tell me when to find me i wouldn't let him find me uh test results are in you have strep throat incredibly contagious you're lying what um you're lying the whole reason you came in was that you weren't it detected your amount of bitches did you not detected yeah are we recording yeah oh we are yeah oh okay i should make a vaccine for um getting too much money okay and that's i'm gonna need 13 boosters welcome to the yard podcast what episode are we on sick boy by what episode yeah yeah do you even know i'm like 50 i'm so loopy yeah so much to fake a sickness for what missing two meetings yeah oh bloody nose where's the evidence i'll call for you no blood on let's let's make out with tongue and let's see who's about this finally for real finally we've been waiting for i'll do it i'll do it for the cause if you want to chum check me kiss me with tongue deeply so yamamoto got you sick wait yeah i made out with yoshinobu yamamoto i was lying down i was getting massaged by shohei zipper can you pull up the video it's better he massaged you because he was not playing bro yeah what happened what happened here to go i've been waiting to say some shit like that to you what happened here to go bro yeah he was talking about that where was it was steven on the field all day show up are you talking about shohei yeah he should show hey even show up or show out nothing happened is it cool how he showed up how shohei pulled up and he was just like oh i just forgot how to play baseball now i guess my team will carry me now it's all about rojas watch this video see if you can spot ludwig this is amazing because you can oh my god that hammer there it's the guy jumping up and down in the white shirt oh yeah it's on the left yeah it's so funny doing the ymca the video is so sad it's the entire arena's heartbreak and then you can see ludwig dancing up and down like a little sim yay you should have stormed the field when that one guy threw the ball towards his face you should have stormed the field like hey dude that's when i got there oh you're talking about when robleski like had a close pitch yeah can you can you tell us what happened because at first i thought you didn't make it at all and then you didn't make it back you're gross incompetent troglodyte people yeah yeah tell them yes your people my canadian people no bisexuals oh oh yeah no canadians with the government shutdown they only have the bisexuals at the airport now what the fuck what the fuck i do the canadian airport air traffic control halted flights to toronto and there's not even a government shutdown in canada they don't have government yeah no yeah we're kind of it's anarchy up there it's just the what the moose want they just look at a big grandfather clock was there a moose on the runway no there wasn't even a moose on the runway and if there was i would have fucking yeah i would have taken care of that donkey gets hit by train in pakistan quick quick quick quick moose moose how big is moose land animals how big is the moose on land animals top 10 top 10 list top 10 list what is it the question is how big is a moose on the top 10 yeah yeah it's coming in at number coming in at number three 4.6 can i ask a clarifying question no okay you just third biggest third biggest um because number one elephant land animals i'm gonna say three i don't know what do you think i'm a fucking nerd why do you like mooses so much i got no fucking clue those are not even you know what's funny you know what my clarifying question was top 10 you guys are fucking you know my clarifying question it was do you even know if it's on the top 10 false dichotomy i would have saved us i would have jumped on the fucking grenade what your your job in that spot is guess 15 yeah i hate that love of questions where it's just like it's not even on there bitch it's like the diet coke thing remember that when he was like i'm gonna put diet coke and coke on a fucking chopstick you gotta tell me which one's which and they were both diet coke that was that was good and i'm like brother that was good that's your responsibility i'm operating within a universe as if one has to be that answer okay well what what happened to you the canadians i got a flight the canadians fucked me because they delayed my flight by an hour and a half and i was like what the fuck are you talking about and i was like what the fuck are you talking about i was like what the fuck are you talking about i was like what the fuck are you talking about i was like what the fuck are you talking about i was like what the fuck are you talking about What's your net worth? It's not a fall question. We interviewed the president of Shopify today. And we were asking him about like, you know, what, how do you view your company's success in contrast with the current labor market? And then it's like, I come over here and then I fucking, I dressed up as a furry last week. I actually did that on bullshit. Don't show up to LS next week. Don't show up. Don't show up. You guys are cool. Don't show up to LS. Don't show up. I like you a lot, man. Don't show up. I killed Doug. All right. A chainsaw, et cetera. He wears his shirt and has a cell phone and it's like spleen. He's like, it hurts. Everything hurts. I'm getting 100 Saturdays for this. Why? I got an idea. I got an idea. Okay. Finally. A fucking idea. Fucking, yeah. Contribute for once. Because this idea doesn't solve a problem. Okay. What's your idea then? My idea is going to solve a problem. Okay. Let's hear it. There's a problem we have right now. Right. Which is that, you know, every country thinks their president's bad. You know, for the most part. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. All presidents are bad. Some people have good ones. Yeah. They get excited going in and then going out. They're not as excited. All of our presidents have small naturals. Perky ones. Perky small naturals. Like Elon on Twitter. He's got perky ones. He's got a perky mouthful for us. He's got a mouthful. Yeah. He's got more than a mouthful. He's got an unhinged jaw for that. Dude, he has an A cup. That's a 32B. That's a B, bro. I'm saying, listen up. I'm saying swap president day. Like we get. We get. Like you spin the wheel and we get like Kazakhstan's president. And they get Trump for the week. I kind of like this. I don't like that reality show. This is like Nick's idea of the podcast draft. Yeah. It's just for a week. Just for a week. Just to just have a taste of what it's like. Do they have infinite power? They have the power of the president. They have the power of us. In your country. Hold on. No, no, no. Big distinction. Do they carry the power of the presidency they have in their country to our country? No. I think it should be that way. It should be land. Like imagine. Imagine we just got fucking North Korea. No. It would be wild for like a month. Because. But then it'd be boring. The other way around. Bro. Hold on. Zipper. Look up president of Lithuania. This guy looks crazy. This guy looks. Let me see him. This guy looks so crazy. Crazy like he looks bad? Look at the second picture. He looks like the angry one from Inside Out. He looks like a me I have on my way. It's a bit frog-esque. He looks like the Mucinex guy was hit by the human ray for the crossover episode. So what if we get that guy? Okay. They're flying. I think I should have met this guy more probably. That's the president of the flag. What's the presidential standard? Do we have one? That's the flag. That's cool. And that is cool. I can ride with the dope fly Griffin. So we want this guy. They think Griffin's in your choice for this guy. Not if we want him. We just might. Yeah, we might get him. We might trade a week and it's swap presidents week. I don't want him. It's the way that's the fun is you want him if you don't want him then maybe like if he does bad it would make you appreciate your president or if he does good you would then start hitting your president more. That's the idea. We got it. Well, surely we got a D to your guy right now. Is he going to uphold Saturday school but you can might be able to find an F to uphold Saturday school. Is he the Lithuanian president? I don't think they have school there. Damn shots fire Lithuania hurt you. I don't think they got it. Wait. They had a female president. That's. I think a lot of countries have. I think we're the slow one on that. Yeah. I think if your first female president is white with short hair, I think it should be canceled out. Yeah. That doesn't count. And it should just be, it should be considered on the paper as a Republican dude. No, cause that's, that's you're disrespecting Lithuanian hairdos. He's disrespecting. You said that they don't know how to read. I didn't say that. I said they don't go to school. That's crazy. When you say Lithuanians don't have school, but they know how to cut hair. Lithuanians know how to cut hair and they, they're all homeschooled and they're a little anti-social. Ooh. We should have a PTA as well. An ASB. President and teacher association. We should have an associated student body in America and they plant and then they, and we have prom. Yeah. I was going to say. Every year we have mandatory prom. Mandatory adult prom that you have to go to and you can't ask your actual significant other to the prom. It has to be somebody. And bullying is allowed if you don't get caught. Do in the school of America. Oh dude. You should get pizza. In the lunch line in America. Dude. And it's shitty pizza. Oh dude. Yeah. Well I went to, we went to, we had little Caesars at my school. Isn't that fucked up? That is fucked up. And you always thought, dude, you always say some shit. Like actually it was really hard for me growing up. That is. Tell yourself. I've never said that in my life. That's fucked up. That's fucked up for all. You made that up. For so different reasons than you think it's fucked up. Yeah. They gave us a MacBook every day we walked into school. I've never said it was really hard for me growing up. I never. It was such a pain. Yeah. Yeah. We all skated there, we ate the little Caesars pizza, we all broke out our hop hog HD PVRs after school. I was the only one to be clear. No, two of us. Look, I think if the world, if the world at large was more like school, I think that would be a net. I think that'd be good. I think that's like a, a bad idea. I think most people hated school. But this is what school taught us. You think most people hate school? Yeah. Most people weren't fucking on that lunch lady. Well, it would be crazy if everyone was. Yeah. If you're getting, if you're getting some, if you're getting some preem lady. Everybody, the lunch lady's running a train on the kids. And look, we got little Caesars in the lunch time. We had top shelf lunch lady. That wasn't, that wasn't no middle of the mall lunch lady. No, that's not a lunch lady. That's just a little Caesars employee. That's a food cart employee. So that's why you always go back to school. You're fucking on the, on the hot dog on a stick employee. He's trying to make everything school cause then he gets, he gets, you know, little Caesars day. Free beats. Yeah. He gets his. Yeah. I think I told you guys this before, but the year after I graduated school and you're going to say it was some crazy year. Charlie was about to say, so it was 82, right? So anyway, the year I graduated school, my wealth and the allies one to my fucking, my school district changed the, they changed the weekday to four days a week. So everyone after that got three day weekends for the rest of the school. That's dope. They still have that. I don't know. I had a weekend, a liberal school, but basically they were like, I didn't realize. Yeah. They had the Gregorian calendar. There wasn't enough money and they had three day weekends and it was crazy and I felt so hoed because I graduated and then they just had three day. We did. You're going to send your kid to a Montessori school. Mine. Fuck no. Yeah. I'm going to send my kid to a public Swedish school, which is a Montessori school by Wednesdays. It's sleep outside in the snow day. Uh huh. We leave all our babies in the day in the snow and then our babies are just walking around in the snow and we have to trust around the society because of, you know why you lose them to the cold outside. But it's okay. We have paid the file rehabilitation. You have another use of paid the tax credit for your dead child. Wait, 75% of students self-reported feelings related to school were negative. Yeah. That's what I was like. You're trying to make everything school. Everyone hated school. In the US. We're going to trust what Yale has to say about school. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Is he talking about the US school system? I don't think. I think when Nick is saying, let's bring back school stuff, I think he's referring to the US school system. I don't think he's saying let's implement the Latvian school system. Cause they had school there. As let's bring back school. He says. Yeah. School fell off. He's trying to bring my kids. I in class. That shit fell off crazy. We need school at a government level. When we were kids or when you guys were kids, your parents thought, don't take the fun away for us. I have to do it. I hate you. When you guys were kids, your parents thought school fell off and now you're saying school fell off. School bin felled off. The school was lit. What was the truth? Cause you had little Caesars pizza. Yeah. But school had been. That's what I'm saying. It's like you think school was lit cause you went to a lit school. You went to a lit school and everyone liked you and shit. My school had culinary. That's crazy. You could take culinary. That's fucking crazy. I think my school. My school had. One dude, one. My senior year I had ceramics and art and they were different classes. What the fuck? You would get stabbed in the eye if you didn't drive a BMW. Yeah. That's how you, that's how you lived. Nah. That was the top. That was the creme de la creme of the school. I brought this up before. There was a kid in my school. That was the top. The Dorito system makes you do it, which is important. But you won it. Not anymore. Yeah, the Dorito. You won it? How do you feel? How do you feel? Feel good, Ludwig. Thank you for asking that fucking question. It means a lot to me that you fucking asked it. Dude, we were hate watching. When you were on the first rank-up game, we were like, we all want him to win, but we also don't want the streams to end. So we kind of needed to lose. Everyone was like, we don't want this to be the last day he's live. Something that was crazy, it was a crazy feeling, is I left the office that day, yesterday, and I left, and I look back, and I'm like, all right, bye, and everyone in the office is like, goodbye, make sure you stream as soon as you can. They were all like, we want to watch it. And I felt like, I felt so wanted. It's so funny, though, because you hear that, and then a lot of people start tuning in when you're about to hit gold, and then you're like, why are there so many people here? Yeah, that was dumb. I'm going to end stream for 10 minutes. I've dumped the viewers, I've dumped. Dude, you have this weird idea that the people who come in are like others. They're all Ludwigs. No, no, because you have to. Sorry, what's a Ludwig? Let's go to that first. I'll go after this. There's a lot to unpack here. They're all Ludwigs. They basically tune in to the grand finals, and they say, I've always cared about slime getting into gold. Except you did not in this case, because you were always there. But in the case of the Dodgers. I watch every regular season game. I can tell you showed his birthday. It's like. Yeah. To me, it's like. Well, that's weird. Dog fifth. It's like, you know, if someone has like a lot of viewers, let's say like Northern Lion, you might be like, damn, Northern Lion's got like 10K viewers. That's crazy. Yeah, what's going on? Let me check it out. But then when you have this narrative story arc you've been working at for months, and people are like, the story might close today. I want to be there. And I want to be like, I was there. I was there. And they all show up. You're like, who are all these people? And I'm like, they're the people you sired with your story. But why weren't they there earlier? But they might have been. We don't know that. It literally is like GM of the Dodgers looking at the World Series attendees and seeing it's higher than regular season and being like, what is this? I think it's your Monday and Tuesday guys and your Wednesday and Thursday guys all showed up. Yeah. Okay, what I did then. By the way, 632 games. Let's go. 632. Okay, what I did though is I dumped the viewers. So I basically heat checked anyone. Yeah, you killed the stream. And what's weird is when you came back, you had more viewers for a little. For a little bit. For a little. For a little. You had over 3,000 viewers. I think it was a bug. That's just how Twitch works. Yeah, I think it was a bug. That's just a bug, yeah. But I dumped the viewer. I went offline for like two minutes straight. Yeah. And so everyone who were like. Because at that point, if you're listening to the stream, you're like, I'll just stay because he's going to turn back on. Just to be clear, there was the same amount of viewers when you won your game. No, no, no, no, no. No, wait. Well, when I won? Yeah, yeah. When I returned from the stream, from dumping the viewers, I had. It cut to like 1,400. Yeah, it was like cut in half. Yeah, but then it went right back up when you went back into the game. Well, then they're all real ones. Oh, now they're all shit because I got to say it. It's more of like, at least I heat checked them. Sure. Which I thought was funny. It's funny because no one does that. That's funny to do. It is funny. It's just funny to do. People do this. Really? Yeah. What? Who does that? Duke Dennis. Who's that? You're biting Duke Dennis's shit? You don't know who Duke Dennis is? Wow. That's crazy. I have a mental image of Duke Dennis in my head and it looks like Hitch. Nope. He has a smile. Now that lights up a room, he's also a black man. It looks a little bit like Hitch. Same guy, yeah. 'Cause Hitch has cornrows. That's Duke Dennis. Okay. And then go back, and it says "Duke Dennis ended stream." Uh, 'cause he was overwhelmed by the number of viewers. That's pretty funny. He ended. He said there's too many people here. Oh, he full ended. So a part of the reason I also wanted to dump viewers is 'cause I was at the top of the category, and I didn't want to get sniped. Brother, it's League of Legends, and it's not Worlds. Like, the biggest stream has 800 viewers. I just thought it would help me not get sniped if I did this. I see. And that would suck. To get sniped at the very end. I just remember you saying. That's like a sniper's dream. I remember you saying, like, "Am I at the top of the category?" And I was like, "It's League of Legends. What are we talking about?" Sometimes I'm not. Doublelift will have like two, three K views. Yeah, sometimes I'm not. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. He's like, probably there's not that many big streamers. The other day there was like a German challenger player with 18,000 viewers. Just climbing. Europeans. Europeans. That's the category. But any time zone? I guess. The NA time zone is weak. Either way, I thought. The European League time zone almost is the NA time zone. Either way, I thought it'd be funny to do it to dump viewers that maybe not get sniped. Maybe it would dissuade some snipers. And two, that it's just funny in general to do. And three, as a way to reward the people who are there, like, every day. To be like, I am watching. I am noticing you, because you have been putting up with me being fucking insane for all these, you know, days. So you did it for Fardemore, is what you're saying. Kinda, yeah. Like, kinda yeah. Why was I on the F-Scene list with Fardemore? So, at the very end, I had a list of all the people that is a big fuck you. Before you were gold. No, it was after. No, it was after. He hadn't won his gold game by this point. Oh, oh, oh. Oh my god. Okay, okay, okay. Such a fucking demon of a man. Can you pull it up, Zipper? It's the very end. Yeah. So, fuck all the people. So, in order, it's Fardemore, Moonbin, who is this guy that I kept doing with? Oh, I fucking hated. I remember this guy. Moonbin ran to Moomoo with Ghost. It's LTGrayPaul, who I kept checking his profile and he's the most insanely bad player of all time. He was in my games. Tim, Ludwig, Mel. So, let's pause. Just the champ, Mel. Why Ludwig? Yeah, I feel that. Hold on, I know, it's Ludwig's obvious. Why Tim? Tim is, cause you know, this is how I know you don't hang out, or at least have the volume on a lot. Tim chirps so fucking much. Tim chirps a lot. I don't chirp. What's wrong with Tim chirping? You said. You did the Instagram story. No, the Instagram story was fine. Here's the reason why. It's cause Ludwig keeps saying that, he keeps intimating that this is something easy. That I could do it. You keep asking, "Yeah, could I do that?" And I'd probably do it pretty fast. You made me feel as if I'm being competed with. And you're not even doing it. I think this is your next league challenge. I would love to see you try it. I think that you go mid lane, and he's T1. And you have to do it in less games than Slime did. With. He would. So, I thought about this a lot, and I think that the reason like, when Ludwig did the Platinum challenge, his job was to get Platinum in the least amount of games possible. One more game of league that he had to play was gonna be like, miserable. So that's why he's like, coaching, very focused, very training, practice, like, you put a lot of effort into gaining a rank fast, which I didn't really do. I just crammed, like, mashed the fucking solo queue, like, we all do. You did just queue. You would queue, and then you'd mess up your Diana combo, and he'd be like, I gotta work on that, and then just queue again. Yes. And there's something I think was very sincere about that, because that's how we, most people engage with games, and I don't recommend it, but I thought it'd be funny. Oh, so you're data. I think I'm data. You're data for like, what is the average gamer who's just mashing queue, what's it take? Mashing queue. For them to get gold through mid lane. Maybe watching some videos every now and then, but ultimately not really doing much, and I thought that'd be interesting. You don't even watch videos? I would watch videos. I was like, Korean Diana versus LeBlanc. And then I'd be like, okay, and learn kinda nothing. Yeah. And then, uh, and so that's what I did, but compared to like Street Fighter, which is like, I like got coaching, and I paid for coaching actually at one point. I wanted to get good fast. So anyway, if you did this, you'd get good fast, because you can't be wasting time. I could waste a lot of time, which I did this month. Yeah, I would I would actually just go Garen mid. That doesn't work. Go Garen mid. That would suck ass. That would work. Maybe it would work. You know what? You get parry JG telling you how to do it, I got parry JG who says hey, run this, and then I watch a Garen video every night before falling asleep, and then I get there. No. Garen mid. I don't think I've ever fought a Garen mid. But, so. I would change your life. Yeah, this is my hit list, and Ludwig was on there because he was rooting for me, but I also knew that he was patting his big belly going, ha ha ha. Hold up, no no no no. Simply gold? I've never, I've never said simply gold. But, it's true, that when you guys started the challenge, this is like two months ago when you guys were fucking just in the boons of silver, you guys are like, mm, jungler, chocolateite, lane is such a sophisticated wall. It is. It is. Filled with so much interaction. I think it is. Truly takes a genius mind to understand how to play. It is. You wouldn't survive. Yeah. You use the tutorial champ. That's the language you guys would use, which I thought was. Pathetic. I thought it was pathetic. Alright, that's fine. Then I'm a pathetic little man. But now you're gold. Now you're gold. Shut up, Ludwig. You get to stand on that. But when you were silver saying it, I was like, mm. It's so, shut up, because you don't mean that. You gotta say it for me then, until I get there. Uh, yeah. What's next? Are you done streaming now? That's what I wanted to know. That's what the people want to know. Is the journey over forever? It's it. My poor girlfriend's gonna fucking blow her head off. I just wasn't hanging out with her, or like once a week. Yeah. Which is like, you know, she, that's, she wants money. More. Yeah. And I felt, that was like the biggest problem. I was like. So, but like, you're not even going live once a week to play League? Why would I? No. No. The answer is no. Okay. And that's it. You guys gotta find something else to watch. I don't know. There's nothing else to watch. But you're not gonna stream? The TV had one channel. Are you done with streaming? It was my favorite channel. And now the TV doesn't work. Different lol cow. My girl's evil. Your girl's evil? Evil girl at home? She keeps waking me up at night. Oh my god. Is it for nice things? Like compliments? She keeps waking me up going, you're snoring. I can't sleep. Stop snoring. You're snoring? You're snoring so loudly. You're such a fat oaf of a man. Cause you're oafish and big? Do you make tuba noises when you snore? Or is that just when you walk around? Okay Well then you snore And there's nothing you can do And I was telling her There's nothing I can do There's no way to reduce my snoring Because we have this lumpy mattress That we're stuck with Because I have 40 down payments on it So we're just going to live this life Oh my god I was snoring last year I didn't even realize I switched to a Helix Sleep mattress Guess what I'm not snoring anymore I stopped And your girlfriend doesn't bug your ass No she still does that More even But not unrelated to the mattress It really doesn't have to do with that at all Probably unrelated to the mattress But no I think if you get a Helix Sleep mattress This could help Because the Helix Sleep mattress Has all sorts of awesome technology Like sleep zones You can take a sleep quiz And you can find the perfect mattress for you I like the Midnight Lux personally So I have to take a quiz? You don't have to But it would be helpful To find the perfect fit for you They have over 20 unique mattresses And various designs Some have memory foam You like memory foam? I do like memory foam Okay I want your old mattress I want to make some sort of structure out of it I want to smell it If you want to smell it You can go to helixsleep.com Slash the yard For 27% off What's Site wide What structure are you going to make out of it? I'm going to make some sort of Like a bird house But for a man That's helixsleep.com Slash the yard For 27% off Site wide Exclusive for listeners of the yard No one else No one else has this If you go to any other podcast In the world None of them will have this deal Doesn't make any sense Use our link So they know that we sent you And thanks for Helix For sponsoring this week's episode I love their mattresses You're going to what? I'm going to do the quiz You're going to what? I'm going to do the quiz Great Back to the episode Got to find a new low cut Tyler starts streaming again That's different Tyler's playing Minecraft He's a low cut of Minecraft He is a low cut Yeah Ludwig might start fucking streaming One day Who knows I want to watch Ludwig play League Play League for some reason Can you find a reason? Please don't Please Find a reason bro I love watching you play If you If I have anything That I could ask you Uh huh If I have like one request It would be Don't straight link Can I tell you how rich this is? What? How fucking rich it is When I come to the office All you do is play CS2 You haven't worked in Oh You fucking do You haven't worked in months All you do is dump ELO Last merch drop Was in literally April Think about that Last merch drop? Yeah It was in April Wait It wasn't Whatever You're just Hell yeah Hell yeah You're not doing shit You're playing CS2 everyday Fucking cracking reds You know Stans is playing it? Stans is playing what? What did you say again? You and who? You're playing CS2 cracking reds Yeah but who's the person you said? You said him and who? No one Okay I've misheard you by a lot I'm realizing What do you want from me? Huh? What do you want from me? Let me be me Yeah Let me be you And I love you right now Who doesn't play League If Kitten wants to play League He's gonna Kitten's gonna play League And Kitten's gonna purr in bot lane Or mid lane Kitten is so accomplished at League of Legends He doesn't need to play anymore Well Kitten's getting told That it doesn't count If it's in the jungle Oh and that sandpaper tongue Is rubbing on that Malzahar In mid lane I heard recently And this is actually true That jungle is the hardest role I'm not And I'm not making that up To climb? I think the easiest role to climb Is probably mid No it's probably support Shut up man Support is elo potion Huh? Support is elo potion If you're a decent player 100% Make a decision man Incredulous Put your fucking Put your money where your fucking mouth is Rutherford Yeah yeah I want to watch you play mid so badly I want to Dude oh my god Oh my goodness And not even a hay watch I want to just see you experience What we felt You would be hay watching No because if you went crazy I'd be like that's my guy I'd be love watching I would I'd be running Galio mid Sure Okay That's a tough one to get around Galio mid's great That's better than Garen mid And my Garen And I'd be running a Moo Moo mid Yeah fuck it Yes do it Yes I want to see you 20 CS in 20 minutes I want to see you go up against a champ You had no idea what they do And be like okay let's give it a shot And you go 0 and 7 And you're like what the fuck Am I supposed to do? Like that's awesome And I go what could you do? I mean Could you do? I had the opposite problem Could you do? What? As the like in my lane Don't know what to do Don't know what they do Go 0-7 I had the I'm in lane I'm 7-0 And my jungler's fucking jacking off in the bush And I'm like god he's sperming in the bush And the game's over Because my jungler's useless And my bot's useless My top's useless And here I am man Anyway if you do it I will be right there watching Okay Not hay watching I just want to I want to connect with you Through the pain that I felt But I don't suffer like that Maybe not You don't suffer like that? I think You crashed out quite a bit during league When I played league I didn't crash out one time Oh my god Dude it was like It was crazy It was like watching you play like a fodding game Yeah Like it was horrible You were a horrible You were in a deep dark pit There was a guy who was in your I still remember this He was in your game And he was Knew he was on stream And he was on your team And he was just said Sorry Ludwig about that Like bad team fight or something You were like I don't want a fucking apology from you I don't want to fucking be your friend I never want to play with you ever again Like you're crashing out on this guy You're crashing out on this guy And I get shit And you know what I love that part of you People had texted me And told me he was a pedophile And you got the call And I got the call And so that's why I reacted so harsh about him Right Because you had the third party confirmation And you didn't throw? Uh no You gave a pedophile LP I still need to keep my LP I'm not even kidding My last day of gold Is I had a guy named CPLover67 Well maybe he meets Caleb Pitts Maybe he's a big comedy fan We all theorized what it could Maybe it's Chris Paul Yeah We all theorized Could he play Briar So we pretty much know Oh that's tough That's tough The Briar fan So what's your game plan now? Oh let's play it Let's play it like it You're just doing your regular Yeah Regular schedule program Offline I see you offline all the time Yeah yeah Well what happens when you hit it? Have we all Purged League from our souls? Are you the last one? And once you're done It's like we're all done And we went on this Grand journey together? I don't have a plan But I think If I If I get close I might stream Like the last couple games Or something And then when I hit it I'll probably Take a massive break Jump back on some work stuff And then maybe play Casually with friends Interesting Like any video game This took such a big Piece of my life away Yeah Every day I was like It also made you a big streamer Like a goal That a lot of other people Would kill for You know what I mean? Like if you just Kept streaming Not that you should Or that you even want to But if you just Kept streaming That could be a job I was trying to explain The appeal Of watching you Play a solo queue game On stream To Zipper 3 And just the magic Of what it is To watch you play And the way You get emotionally invested In Slime's journey And that Is hard to do With any other streamer Do you mean that? Of course From the bottom of my heart Of course I agree I agree 100% And I had the same Say that shit to me dude I had the same feeling Of being sad Sad that it's over And I was wondering I was like What's the next Cause I figured There was a high chance You're done right? So what's the next game We could get him hooked on? Do you want your Fucking low count I don't think you do I want my I want my Clicked on another game I don't think the lockout Hits the same If it's like Street Fighter Or whatever League is a special thing This happened During Valorant A couple years ago When I was trying To get to gold Or like I was trying to get to a rank To play with you guys And so I just decided To start streaming And that's when I was Streaming a lot of Valorant But it hit with Valorant Weren't you guys Trying to get to Diamond? Was that the thing? No it was like He was trying to get to Diamond I was never trying Really Oh yeah It was a goal He had written down For himself And then At the beginning of the year Passively Two years in a row Some games Didn't super care for it But Valorant hit League hit So is there anything else That you could Yeah Any fucking Cock and ball Torture device Remember his chess arc? Slime's chess arc? Yeah I streamed it like twice I mean But like in life Oh sure That I mean I like You know what was fun We were at that photo shoot For chess boxing And me and Shake Were playing You beat him right? No He trashed me I think You know I think It could be Rocket League No I don't guys I don't want to do this I am I know Oh no Let us talk about the next It's not about what you want It's not about you It's really not about you You're gonna get hooked on something God what is the But in a way It starts with One of us getting hooked on something Yes Oh yeah And like he gets Looped into it If Tyler Tim actually pointed this out If Tyler won never He actually The moment you were in that Fiddlesticks bush When you were playing That giant game With like Uh Mr. Beast and shit Uh huh It's No he's just ripping Okay It's just a rip Sometimes you have to rip Well don't Don't let him stop This is so weird Audio listeners Ludwig has just started Ripping his pajama bottoms off Ripping his pants off Like I don't know how to say it I'm just making them shorts No you're making one side shorts Well because it got a hole in it From our From our terrified camping thing Come on Get there No it's ripping the wrong way now Yeah Be strong This isn't faster Okay That was So satisfying Let me smell it Sorry Uh When you were in that bush And you You did the wrong thing And Tyler won was so mad at you And he crashed out And you Tim was like This moment Is why you are playing League right now Yeah that's right Which is so funny That shit changed your life It looks like a bucket hat bro It does That's crazy That shit changed your life You look like Melly Yup Prison Mike Yeah you're Prison Mike Uh yeah that shit changed your life And what if he said A different game you know Then I I don't know What if there's TFT in that moment I'd ask for I'd ask for it to be Counter Strike But It has such a Dog shit rank system That I think the journey Is less compelling Yeah cause it's like I wanna hit 13,000 Yeah What is that Why the fuck Do they do it that way It's so weird That is so dumb I would love to hit 13 Oh my god I dropped to 11,000 What does that mean Yeah like you can be like Dude Like Aiden's 11,000 Right now And everyone's gonna be like That sounds impressive That's a huge number As a CS player It's all the same Cause it doesn't work It doesn't work. You were saying. CS is the famously broken system. Everybody between, it's like 13 or 14K and 24K. It's all the same guy who's coin flipped in a different direction. Truly. I mean, that's what I say about League. You know how Elon was like, I'm buying Twitter and I'm fixing the bot problem. And then everyone made fun of him because the bot problem got worse. Almost in protest of him trying. Like it brought out the people capable. This is, I think, Drew Levin's effect on League. Drew Levin starts making big tweets about League and how he's fixing everything and how he's, they're combating Smurfs. And my games have only gotten worse. They shouldn't have put it. I think he messed up by becoming the face of like solving the system. Because now whenever something crazy happens to me, and I get like you crazy inter, you're like, Drew Levin sits and pats his fucking belly and does nothing. Yep, makes his $300,000 a year salary. And then the guy named ProudWhiteMan88 gets to keep playing the fucking game. That is a real guy that still plays League. That was in my game and he trashed me. He trashed me in my game. You can't lose to ProudWhiteMan88. But I did! And it's probably not when he was born. And it's Drew Levin's fault. And it's definitely not when he was born. That guy's younger than you. That guy's younger than me! That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice being out of League. I was gonna say. It's nice. What is even your relationship with SoloQ Games? Because it's like, I don't think he, when, I remember at New Year's, you were playing a League game when you were trying to get to plat. And you were, you lost this Baron fight. And you were frustrated, yelling at the computer. It's just me and you. In the studio. And you said, this is the biggest waste of time I've ever had in my whole fucking life. And I was like, he's not happy right now. Do you miss grinding or playing anything? Uh, the grind was fun. Yeah, but, you know, the grind also had purpose behind it. You know, now I would just have to make up a grind. Like even, like gold. I couldn't go for gold in mid. Yeah. Why? Because although mid is a different experience, it could be harder. It'd be a step down from plat. I think his, the narrative of him makes it make sense. He's talking about, no, for Ludwig. But I'm saying the narrative of you saying he couldn't do it is what makes it make sense. Yeah, but I still think I would have to be like. And also, if it is hard, it makes it way more entertaining. You need a compelling enough narrative to continue to do it? I think so, yeah. Yeah, and I think, I think that is a compelling narrative. He's the Tyler 1 of mid. I was going to say, this whole thing happened because of the external force of Tyler 1. I am not, I disagree. I am not Tyler 1. I'm not big enough to make, put down the gauntlet for Ludwig to start playing regular. I think you're big enough in his life. But Tyler 1 is also like, you know, he's been roasting me for X amount of fucking years. He compliments me. He told me millions of people. I'm just trying to get him to do it again. I get some fucking backup. Sly would just be like, Jesus, fighting for my fucking life. I'm just trying to get him to do this. I can't even imagine what Sly would say if I hit gold. He'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. I would have to concede. Because what am I going to do? Be mad that my friend achieved his goal? I would never do that. But that's why, that's why it's not a good challenge is because it's, it is just incredibly achievable. I wish he would just do it though. Like what is the challenge here? It's like, can, can you hit gold? Even for me, it'd be like, could you hit gold in less games? You could. With that Thresh? What? You couldn't. Total, total play time? Yeah, 100% no. I'm not going to get baited. I'm not trying to, I'm genuinely not trying to bait you. I know you could not. Of course I could. I'm not trying to bait you either, but I think you fucking suck. I'm getting baited. There are three people who play the game and one who doesn't. I played the game. I've gotten way better. I've gotten way better at two games than you two have ever been at any game. Gold's pretty, pretty on the level. I'm really good at swimming. I could easily run a marathon. Two feels good for me. Two different things. I'm so good at basketball. I could win the curling Olympics. Like, what are we doing here? Yeah, what are we talking about? It's a different, it's a different sport. I won't, I won't, I won't. Also, Thresh has a nerf, so like your whole champ play style is just fucking nerfed. Also, also, it's mid. What? You never played mid. Oh, would the challenge have to be mid? Yes. I might get cooked in mid. Yeah, you would get cooked. You wouldn't, might, you would. Wait, no, I don't even think I would, because my, I think the simple math. Interesting. Hold on, the simple math of I'm willing to get coaching and watch videos and not approach it in the same fashion that he did. No, but you got to approach it in that fashion. That's the fun of it. Ah, well, Ludwig wouldn't, which I also think I don't blame him for. No, no, no, if you did this one this time around, you wouldn't like go get fucking double lift to help you get gold. No, that's exactly what he said. No, I don't think I need the coaching. Wait, that's exactly what he said. Oh. I don't think I need the coaching. Oh, I would need the coaching. Yeah. Yeah, but I think that ruins the, I think anyone can do it with coaching. I think coaching, that would really help that much. A hundred percent does. That's so crazy that you think that. A hundred, you know what the big moment was when that, what are you turned everything around for old slime was I was leaving the office one day and miles, he, he stops me and he goes, man, all I ever want to see, I want to be Alfred in the coffee shop at the end of Batman and the, and you looking over at me is getting a two kill lead in mid lane and not dying the rest of the game. He's like, if that happens, I will be Alfred in the coffee shop. Just nodding at you. It's so funny because I actually said to him first, but I didn't put it in the context of a movie because I said to him, Hey man, when you get dark seal stacks and then you don't die with them, treat every minute like a kill. Yeah. I was like, if you do that, your life is so much better. Right out of my head. You need to do a frame. Miles said the thing he always does, which is like, it's like this reference, kind of like this like video game or movie or thing. It's all I thought about. And you're at the table with Anne Hathaway. Yeah, and I'm at the table with Anne Hathaway. I was like, well, I can't let Alfred down. Do you think there's, it's funny cause you're, you're 35. And you got to play league of legends on inhibited for weeks on end for stream to make money. Yeah. I think you've played more than any other 35 year old in that period. Is there not even a little star old, how old a good pop star? She's young. Okay. She's like in her twenties. Damn. Is there a part of you who, cause you could just have this be your other non-yard job. It could just be Liam. You could just, you could reduce the hours a little bit. You can hang out with your girlfriend a little more and still be a streamer for seven hours a day instead of 12. And you could continue either chasing this league dream or playing other games or doing something like this. So I'm sitting there going, nah, I want to be unemployed. Here's a couple of things to what you're saying to me, Mr. LS is one that when I am fucking 13 hours into a stream playing brawly legends. All fucking day, my brain gets fried to a point that I think is actually truly pretty magical. And the fact that there is just, oh, you think the magic's gone. I think there is a magic to me just like, cause I wanted it so bad. The one where you're like almost crying, laughing, looking at the red carpet on OPGG is so funny because it just keeps going to actually a broken man. There's a guy, there was this guy who he in pick phase, he picked Timo and he just said, I'm Tito. And then in the next two weeks, not two weeks, much longer, I just said it all the time when I would start to fucking like unravel at these, like the end of my playing like my 20th game of league, I was like, and there was like a magic in like how fucking fried I would get. I have it for you if you want. What is it? I have your career laid out for you. Give it to him. Give me my career. Let him feel it. Spit your career into my monkey. Okay. Wow. Wow. Wow. Why? Why? This won't be a clip anymore. It's gold guy. The gold guy. It's the golden man. The golden man. And you get gold in every game. And once you achieve it, you move on to the next game. Yeah. A saga of you getting gold in every game. I do like the golden man. Dude. And then you just tackle the next, you spin a wheel and that's your next game. Would it be adjusted for inflation? I think it should, right? Like if it's Marvel rivals, you don't go for gold there. I would go for it. Right. But like, Wait, is that easy to hit? Whatever middling rank. Whatever league's gold is. It's the percentage. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Like top, maybe it's top half, I think is what gold is. I think, I actually straight up think he should just go for gold in every game. Yeah, but like. Because if you, if you do, if you adjust for inflation, then there's some games he's locked into for fucking six months, which I think for the saga of what he's doing, it's better if he actually gets gold in a fuck ton of games. I agree. But like some games, it's just stupid to go for gold. It's not. Like the Street Fighter, it would literally be a day. Yeah. It's not worth. Like it's, it'd be lame for people who are excited for the Street Fighter one that it's like, oh, I played four games and I button mash and I'm gold now. Street Fighter would be like master. Like that's the gold. This is good. Master's probably higher. Maybe. Right? No, it's, I think it's easy to get because it gives it to you. And you could just stream for like six or seven hours so that you don't go Tito mode. But dude, that's, I look back because I hate most of the shit I put out and I hate that people are fans of me because I don't think I deserve it. Yeah. Okay. But I will say those like fucked up. Like demon hours. Yeah. The Tito hours. Yeah. I think the Tito hours are fine. You just limit the amount of days. Yeah. You only do three days a week. You only do like twice a week. Yeah. You work like a doctor. You do like three hours. Fucking overnights. Dude, you're literally, you're the white Northern lion, man. No, I'm not. I don't play. I don't play games. He's not the white Northern lion. My one nurse, my one nursing friend, he works. I just mean that like you're the guy who's in his thirties and bald and streams and has this like tight knit audience that he curates and makes. and whatever and you have fun and that can be your job. - Honestly. have guilt with that honestly you're a 35 year old jinxie dude do you mean it i do this is this is my idea for the closest to you is i i have a good friend his his tag is haller and he's a nurse and he his schedule forever has been he works weekends two days a week and he works two 16s back to back and that that's his whole work week that's crazy and it's always saturday and sunday so what happens is he games and hangs out with the boys in discord during the week and then on friday and then he's gone he disappears like off the internet for for like a 48 hour period straight and we just don't see or talk to him like just disturbing news yeah he comes back he's like charlie kirk what happened to you i've been gone for so long and you could be like him we can say goodbye to you at the end and then you could go into the chamber and play two 16 hour sessions of a rank game and enter tito mode for two days and then you come back to us i like the measure for him i like the i got a streaming schedule i go live for these hours i get offline every once in a while i go crazy and i stay up late i think he needs tito mode i think tito mode is the part that makes it all special you want to be delirious for it's more that the fact that it incidentally happened is special rather than i'm just a guy playing video games and i'm getting undue attention for it uh but i don't think that's my relationship i just don't think you're just a guy playing video games for me tito mode is a highlight but it's not the reason i tune in yeah it's not the reason i tune in is the to be clear you're the joker the whole time you're like tito is when you're hanging off the building and you're like drop me but you are still the joker yeah you're still you're still a crazy person the game one you're evil the more i'm thinking about this it is 100 true and the more i think about this i think i would actually watch you play in the game and i'm like oh my god anything yeah that's why you could do you could go to like a local ping pong club in socal for 10 hours a day and i would watch that try to hit gold in your car and try 47 year old asian men across from you chobos because they're just backhanding the fuck out of you like i would watch you i would watch you pursue any competitive task in this setting and it would have a compelling narrative i think you just like me man i think i think you're just my fucking friend uh yeah i think yeah but the idea is still fire it is really fire and the beauty of it is not a lot of people can do it and have it be a fire idea there's an idea that's been chosen for you you just want to see a fucking wall cow struggle yeah fucking mud don't you because the special thing wasn't league we're just kind of into league right now but it's not like you know when it's not special in goodwill hunting where his friends where his friends are like he he doesn't want to use his f to get out and all of his friends oh one day i come to your house and you don't fucking answer the door i'm ben affleck at the trash heap with you and i'm telling you that if you don't take advantage of this unique ability i'm gonna kill you just playing video games entertaining then i'm gonna fucking kill you i'm gonna fucking kill you bro because we would and you're like nah i want to be fucking unemployed like you man yeah i want to be a fucking piece of shit i don't need more than this i don't need to do shit bro and we are ben affleck we are the group i want to come to this studio and i want to see i want to see i want to be able to sit down and see golden plaques and you know you can come to the yard anymore because you're working on your 19th golden plaque yeah because i'm playing marvel token yes with my fucking iron man team yes and you're in silver right now and you're losing the gold challenge sharks i'll think about it i'll i'll give you that all right dude we just ruined your girlfriend's life by the way no no it's scheduled scheduled it's a job we need a schedule we need stability yeah it needs a framework jinxi is this but for a much much much higher rank much higher yeah i think besides rainbow six uh he plays the is it he didn't like that he didn't like that play rainbow six anymore that was called clash of clans he's not even playing clash royale anymore what's it called what does he play he's playing um oh actually what is the name is the block jumpy game minecraft minecraft no it's like oh my god he's playing um the speed running game um the one that's like it's like fucking hard as fuck yeah it's like it's like super meat boy no no no what's it damn it uh that's why is it new no no no it's old ancient as fuck i know this game too what's it called damn it zipper it's the game where it's like you're literally just like there's one button it's fucking jump and you're just a block and it's like almost like a rhythm game but not really and then it's like really tight jump timings over and over oh is it uh geometry dash yeah isn't that it i think that is it yeah geometry dash i watched a couple videos on that yeah he's playing geometry that's crazy that's a high skill cap game yeah and he's pretty good at it that's sick he's pretty good at that he got pretty good at clash i've been like pretty good i mean like top point something one percent probably no this is not geometry what is geometry dash is the other one i forget what it's called bro we are this is the oldest fucking group i want you to know ever exist ever i would be crazy at this game there's a you look up you will you look it's already it's already happening when you look up uh the youtube video impossible avatar getaway i grinded this game like crazy and it's the same game it's just skinned for the xbox 360 arcade you were nasty i was nasty i'm telling you that game gets hard yeah impossible ways that you're impossible is in the fucking name right oh same thing literally the same game i played this like crazy this looks fun this game has so this is flags left this is bullshit you can press y at any time drop a flag at the checkpoint i would play the flagless oh that's good i like that flagless yeah and there's it's you know you can beat the entire game in a day it's like it's like a three level game and the third one's really fucking hard and the second one's kind of hard and the third one's kind of so compelling um this is just a rainbow unicorn attack yeah kind of a robot unicorn but i was net bro dropped a flag pussy um but yeah i was nasty at this it's really if you slide you instantly go into your slide uh but yeah this game's awesome yeah so that's what he plays now you watch a lot of jinxy yeah he's great he's like you he has a bunch of fucking ticks jinxy except instead of toda he just goes barra barra dude he has the same um he has the same facial uh tick that i have oh the literal twitch the ice one thing maybe jinxy is just the combined elements of all of us oh yeah the germa the difference is he's playing those games and drinking modellos and vaping that's the aiden that's cool yeah that's his aiden power up it's not smoke it's some other shit i'm a fucking hoe man yeah i just i hope you get back on the horse oh whatever the horse what zipper can you show them the uh video i put in the chat look at this look at how yellow my pee is i was gonna say immediately your pee is almost green look at how yellow it is i just take a video you unkinked the hose you guys have the prostate fucking dialing back can we show that on youtube no way huh i probably not no way you can't show the way i want you to censor it is i want you to like increase the sensor with the spurt so that they get the effect i want it i want you to show urine with i want the sensor to mosaic at a bigger tile rate when you when it goes if that makes i tried really hard to shoot this with my phone without showing my penis on iphone it's just a guy shooting his fucking penis there's a little in the very bottom of the screen there's a little frame i just cropped it you guys can see it because i cropped it a couple hairs there is it's literally just the fucking oval head of my penis the mcdonald's logo yeah the pink the pink little patrick star i've been watching uh worlds yeah what's that league worlds okay did you mean that no okay and i had to check i'm gonna moneyball league oh i heard you talking about this who are your dog shit fucking players i'm gonna moneyball i'm gonna find like the oldest league player ever a 32 year old i'm gonna find what's the getting on base of league like 10 cs a minute yeah it's gonna be like it's gonna be like oh there's this guy frederick from texas frederick sucks ass he hasn't hit the ball but he gets on it no it's like he gets 11 cs a minute but he said a slur back in 2023 it's like all right but guess what he does you can get him for only 40k a year you get a 40k a year because he said the f slur is your donut hill yeah yes yingo is my donut hill we gotta get yingo veneers i will say yingling explained pinch hitting to us in and it was a weird inversion of reality because he was telling us something about the world and we were like that makes sense yingling thanks for the explanation because on the primo we we made fun of pinch hitting we said it was stupid yeah it does i don't know anything but then the amazon guy rang the doorbell and he started barking and running into the door what are you laughing you got a soft spot for some people yeah i love yingo dearly and travis we all do man i don't care for travis kelsey well you also stay he has the same expression that we were talking about him the other episode no this is this is rewriting history i do think he runs to the doorbell whenever the amazon guy shows up i think that you think that about i do think i think that about travis yeah not really i think after travis catches i think when travis catches the ball, he comes back to the huddle, and Patrick Mahomes goes, good boy. And he goes, mean it. Travis, Kelsey arriving to the door in a sweater with bones on it during Christmas. Taylor pulling, like, a 40 yard string out of his ass, because he got into her craft supply. I think. I think he listened to Wood, and he's like, that's such a sick song, babe, but, like, what do you. Like, you didn't mention one, like, Birch, or, like. Yeah, yeah. It's not about trees. It's not really about trees, is it? Alright. I'm using Rocket Money, y'all. It's me. And I'm. You know me. I love Rocket Money. I love a couple of different brands, and I won't say all of them here, because we're in a specific read. And I'm looking at Rocket Money, and I have, in 2025, three Xbox 360 subscriptions. Yeah. I saw this today. Okay. And I only have one account. Right. So I don't know how that happened. This happens all the time. You bring this up all the time. I still have them. I checked Rocket Money. I have an Xbox 360 subscription, or an Xbox Live subscription, that is only for Nick to use. And you have three more, and told me I couldn't get rid of mine, that I found with Rocket Money. Well, it is an Xbox 360 summer. I think summer's gonna last forever. It's winter. It's almost winter. These subscriptions, particularly, cannot last forever. And Rocket Money made it very easy to cancel them. And the reason why is because it's a personal finance app that finds and cancels yours, or my, unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. What Rocket Money does is they go to the source. So that you can grow your savings. So they'll find the people who are giving this subscription to you. They'll find them. They'll take care of it for you. Find them. Take care of them. Why isn't he taken care of for him? Because here's the thing. Rocket Money's gonna go to the source. He's the source of this problem. Let me tell you. I need someone on the Rocket Money staff to come and harm Nick. Rocket Money's gonna come. They're gonna hurt you. They can come and get it. The thing is, Microsoft won't let me cancel this because Nick stops me from touching my phone every time I try to do it. Guys, if you're a friend who does not have Rocket Money, an easy way to punish them is to just sign them up for Xbox Live like 25 times. And then one day when they finally get the only app that you need for your financial tracking, they'll learn. They have 25 accounts. You can also check your credit score. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion. Including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. The number was so big, I got tripped over saying it. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. And you can say what you want now. I was gonna say, dude, you guys should freaking cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster. With Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash the yard. They'll find them for you. Did you see what he did? No. I missed it. What'd he do? You'll figure it out. The clip will be there. And maybe your friends won't. They'll stop messing with you. Cancel the subscription. Or we'll cancel your dad on Twitter. So, it was funny because we kind of got corrected because I think it is actually cool because you have to swap positions with the guy. Because it's strategic in a different way. Well, this is actually a beautiful thing because we're gonna get lucky. The reasonable take is gonna be out first because this is the main episode and we recorded the premium first yesterday. So now, we're gonna go back to us being like, this baseball's dumb. Bad rule. But we already said it publicly. There you go. What do you have to say, Ludwig? I love baseball! I know you do, sweetheart. I love baseball! What do you have to say to everyone who said you weaved your way into a dynasty? Who cares? I got a dynasty. They're mad. Mad, mad, mad. Probably a Mets fan. Why don't you like shitty baseball players? That's my question. I do like shitty baseball players. I like Andy Paz. That's awesome. Who's that? Three people left. Not for you. Oh. I like that even more. I only have more than three baseball fans. I haven't felt this sad after a sporting event in a long time. Don't you fucking give a shit, bro. You had to look up who the fuck the Blue Jays players were. Who do you care? But he knows where fucking Toronto is, dude. Fuck you. You mean the same thing that you did before you got into the team eight months ago? Go Sox. Hold up. I went to the World Series last year. We're forgetting this. Yeah. Before you were a fan. Yep. I went to the World Series before I was a fan. Woo, Steelies. I don't like that. I'm sorry. What was I a fan of if I was a World Series? I won't be bumped off on the Blue Jays. The Blue Jays is the only team in sports I actually have a non-bandwagon claim to. Five players. Hmm? Five players. Guerrero Jr. Bieber, the pitcher. Fucking Clement, the good hitter. Wait, he's doing good. Come on, man. Get there, Aiden. He's doing good right now. Oh, man. Uh. Uh. Oh, no, that's. Oh, no. Dude, that sucks. Oh, no. I'm impressed by three, to be honest. Except for Guerrero Jr. They were the people we watched together. Oh, Kirk. Kirk. Because he just. It's crazy that he's in a professional sports league. It's crazy. And he's fucking amazing, too. Oh, this is tough. Three. This is tough. I'll go four. That's it. One. Look, I don't need to defend myself. Boba Shett, he hit the home run. Sure. Okay. My thing is my family didn't watch sports growing up except baseball. They watched one baseball team, and it was the Blue Jays, and it was the only sporting team on in our house the entire upbringing. I didn't have a basketball team. I didn't have a fucking football team. I didn't have anything. You couldn't read Harry Potter. You couldn't watch Spongebob. Yeah. I mean, like. But this is all I had. So it's like the Blue Jays getting there for me, even as somebody who isn't a huge baseball fan is a nice thing. Okay, here's the thing. The Blue Jays already won back-to-back like 30 years ago. In 92-93. Yeah, that's a fucking long time ago. We haven't won in 365 days. Don't say we. Do not say we. Don't say we. Don't say we. We needed this. You said that's funny because it was last year. So I fucking. This is the only. If you want to make fun of me any other time, I'm fine with that. But the Blue Jays is the only team that I have a deeper love in my soul. Let me ask you a question, Aiden, Calvin. Yeah. Which is just another man's name that you made your tag. It's weird that you had another man in your name. Yeah. Don't you put another man in you. It was a boy's name. And let me ask you this. Is that better? You have a boy? He's in the comics! Oh, a boy! Interesting. Would you have watched any of the World Series if Ludwig did not exist in your life? Of course. Okay. I believe you. I believe you and I love you. I usually tune in to like the biggest moments in sport. So every sport is dope when it's the grand finals. All of them. Did you watch the ALCS? The. yeah. Yeah, the, wait, like the Mariners and the Blue Jays? Yeah. Because the Mariners are the only other team that I kind of care about. Right, I see. I. Look, I've had this hang-up with you, Ludwig. I don't have any. Girl! And I want to clear it up because I think it's in bad faith on my end. But basically, I think being fans of shitty players and teams is sort of the backbone of sports. Yeah, I read from Mac Jones. So I don't know who that is either. Okay, this is the problem, right? It's because he has a claim. I was thinking about this. He weaved his way into a dynasty. Okay. But he does have a claim because he just lives here. And he's lived here for a long time. And it's not crazy to become a fan of like your local sports team. I don't think it's crazy. He just happens to be in a city with the Dodgers and the Lakers. If Shohei was on the Devil Rays, no. Yeah, the Devil Rays. Would you. Actually, here's a good. If he was on the Third Reich. The only thing I. Okay. This is a lot. This is a lot. Because when Homie was on the Angels and they sucked dick and we lived closer to Anaheim, you didn't give a shit. No, no. I went to a game. I got a jersey. I went to a game. You have an Angel Shohei jersey? I think I remember that. Yeah, I went to one Angels game. I saw Shohei. I was like, oh, that guy's cool. And then I bought a jersey. And then I called myself the biggest Angels fan who's never watched an Angels game. Because I never watched a game. I've probably seen more Angels games than you. I've went to one. I lived next to the fucking stadium growing up. Yeah, I mean, we lived real close. And they gave him Little Caesars when he walked in. Yeah, I went to two. I think I went to two dates at the. Because it was dog shit cheap. You beat me. You went to baseball games as dates? Yeah, we didn't watch the game at all. First date. Wow. And it was the Angels. And I was just like, this shit's ass. It was ass. I remember I went with. But the Rally Monkey time, that is pretty awesome. They got the Rally Monkey. What's Rally Monkey? They have a monkey they bring out. No fucking way. It's pretty dope. And the whole stadium light changes and it's like Rally Monkey time and everyone goes nuts. And then everybody spits in the monkey. And the monkey goes in the middle of the field and we all What? No, don't spit. Oh my god! Hello. Is that the monkey? Yeah, it's the monkey. They have a capuchin? Yeah, they got a capuchin. Yeah, I. Fuck, you went to an Angels game. This was the most lit part by a lot. I love the Rally Monkey. Yeah, the Rally Monkey's cute. Believe in the power of the Rally Monkey. And let me tell you, there is no power behind the Rally Monkey. But you ain't a Clippers fan. Huh? It's like you're a Lakers fan and you're not a Clippers fan. Yeah, I don't even. I'm just not that into baseball relative, but I like Lakers more. So the fact that the Dodgers are doing well and that Shohei is doing well and he's like a legendary player make it exciting no matter what. Uh-huh. But would you still love him if he sucked? Would I still love him if he sucked? Probably not him, the player, right? No, I wouldn't know about him. I don't think I'd know about him. You wouldn't even know. I wouldn't even know. I think the better question is would you love the team if they sucked but they still had this player on? I'm gonna say as - My dad loved the Cubs his whole life. - Right. the cubs suck and he got that street cred for his whole life yes and they won and how do you what do you process that as a sports fan because and that and that's people bring up it's like oh you're a patriots guy you're a fucking dodgers guy yes no i i get this and that's that's the admirable sports fan is when you're a fan of like this shit like a jets fan but isn't this you're an attract because of where he's lived no that's what i'm saying it's like they just all it's like where he's lived just happened to be times that are yeah i genuinely tripped into liking shohei because i went to an angels game and i fucking was obsessed with japan and the japanese guy was the best guy on the team and then i was like oh wow this guy rules right then i didn't watch angels because i didn't give a shit about baseball and uh and i didn't like fucking understand it and then he went to the dodgers i was like i'll show up and then i've been watching since sure but you know like like this is just time will buff this out time buffs everything 20 years will pass and i'll still be going to dodgers games and we're gonna say the same shit we're gonna be like bro it was all it comes back to japan for you by the way yeah that's all right though if because i don't think it's a bad thing that japan got me in a baseball no if anything that's what the mlb i'm just a doc kid but for baseball sure yeah like like shohei otani just got a bunch of people in a baseball and and i'm just one of them i did not watch before but he got me in okay with that with that beautiful smile of his and awesome skin i think that's reasonable and he also has put on a little weight and i think maybe he should go on a diet shohei yeah show he did not put on weight he put on weight show he got more muscular he's got another can you look up shohei otani squatting oh he squat a lot yeah he's way stronger than you is there a video from the back can show you a picture with two fingers wait is there a video from below oh dude this show hey otani from the fucking from the floor cam show hey oh by the way i'm skinty you're skinty you're dieting 180 show us the tummy bro show us the tummy show us your nasty your nasty little team oh you look good man oh my god all right now do what now do the thing i can't even do it try it try try you're lying to me you're lying i'm so i'm so snatched now love you can do it dude i need the skinniest you've ever been is when we met you and you could do it back then i'm so skinty now i can't even do it i'm snatched and you guys are mad about it whatever i'm not mad i i don't get mad when you succeed in life that's what the fucking liberal media wants you do you think our collective weight is like that i don't know it's lower or higher from the start of the show to now i'm definitely way more way higher wait you're way higher now probably way when we started we've very much yeah you can see in the trailer that we shot where we make fun of you a lot which never happened on the show later on uh i'm pretty skinny i was like 10 pounds heavier yeah when the show started actually no you're a big guy most of the time fuck i don't know i hit 200 pounds i feel like i feel like our collective heaviest is like episode 80 like around there 80 yeah well i was on adderall for a little bit and i couldn't work out because my back hurt so i was just not eating and not building any muscle so i was probably the skinniest i've been in my adult life 30s everyone stopped working out um yeah man only christian christian's the only one working on christian still goes christian has to get big for kelby legally legally he does that's right kelby asked christian to get big for him he's working strong boy don't even want that joke to play on the strong boy why not why can't you have one of those you hate that kelby wants christian to be a strong boy he needs to be his strong little man i think it's what it's building up to the what he's gonna build up i have to bleep that we don't have to bleep anything i come in here and say i'm gonna bury an axe in kelby's head i'm putting my foot down i'm putting my foot down we can't have that can't have any of that what one we can't be saying shit about kelby anymore i'm putting my foot down i had to be nice to him today you had to be nice to him why fucking suck i yelled at i didn't yell at him i didn't fucking yell that because i said i was gonna bury an axe and fucking kill his head and then he comes and he can't tell me like that i'm working i'm listening to a five plus minute spiel about how evil kelby is and how he makes evil decisions and that he's gonna get killed with an axe and i i decided i decided he asked me he's like nick do you think that i'm evil and i said well what's the context i don't like that you believe in any context you think he's evil in it's a great question i gave a i gave a great example i said if kelly was kelly what is that kelly was a simple mistake freudian slip um if kelby was put into a trolley problem where on one side of the trolley is his whole net worth and the other side is the life of a man but he doesn't have to know them and he won't see them die that he pulls the lever to save his money and that's the that would be a scenario in which he'd be evil he's trolley problem would he do that he said yes he didn't deny it no he made he tried to make a joke no no he said uh he said uh he said do i know the man he started asking questions i said that is that's fair you should ask context of that's the context that you're evil in not day-to-day not today so he has the ability to be i think trolley problem evil i think maybe he's a little calorically evil each wing stop i think all humans have the ability to be evil i don't i don't i think we are we are born with only goodness in our heart i think we're born with evil i think we just haven't been given the opportunity to express it yet i think a baby's soul is tainted by sin i think a baby is born in sin i think all babies will grow up to be awesome this is where we're at yeah this is what happens when you've delayed the pod two hours because you had a nosebleed we did wait two hours not because i got a nosebleed because i thought i had strep and you didn't i'm a scientologist wait wait wait you met a scientologist yeah okay i never i never what happened you got like lost on the way home what happened i didn't get lost i missed my flight you just missed it straight up no yeah so you can't blame the canadians what is that you took to dinner what are you talking about took to dinner you messaged me for a dinner recommendation and you said i met a new person oh my god no so i was at the airport and i'm wearing my dodgers gear because i only brought one pair of clothes because i had to go from the airport to the stadium no because i can't bring that in you could bring it into the stadium hotel so i brought literally nothing yeah so i that's kind of money i'm in the airport and i'm wearing my daughter's gear guy comes up he fists on me he goes go dodgers nice and i'm like and i'm like yep he's like crazy game and i was like crazy it was crazy and he was like you know talking about it and he's like you and your buddy go and because i sit next to this guy and i started my phone and i was like oh it's just just me and the guy hasn't said anything yet and then he's like bottom of the ninth and i was like double play right guy next to me goes no i'm a blue jays fan it wasn't a double play then oh and then we get to chat and then the guy across from me gave me the fist one he's like he's like what do you do and i was like youtuber and and as i say that a fan comes up they go ludwig like three girls they go can we get a picture and i'm like duh ladies ladies i guess a triple play for me and i and i buddy can you take this picture for us hey hey toronto right here so i take the picture i take the picture i sit down and then i'm like what do you do and the guy's like actor maybe you've heard of the pit i was like oh it's big and i was yeah i was like yeah it's a big show i was like okay all right and then we turn over to to toronto man's next to us and we go what do you do and the guy's like wow it's not as cool as that i'm a brain surgeon oh my god that's that is that's the coolest he got mogged by a brain surgeon a kid hooked up to an ivy can i get a picture with you he's like not now i hate this shit what sort of imposter syndrome are you you've made it you're a brain surgeon where you're like it's not as cool as you guys it's like maybe he knows bro he's being humble let's versus peak with income because then because then he's like because i'm like that job's crazy and he's like ah it's like a job you know all jobs have its stresses and i'm like dude i fuck up a youtube video it's a 10 out of 10 whatever you fuck it up that patient dies on the operating table yeah and then you have to tell their family that you did that yeah yeah and it's also complicated and hard it's not the same but we went in the wrong part of timothy's brain and uh he's not going to be able to talk to you anymore his name is now travis kelsey we fucked up the surgery let's go but anyway the guy made a group chat the guy made a group chat oh my god the actor guy is like let me make a group chat for all three of you three yeah and he and he titled it the brain surgeon dodgers the only dude if that's so funny if the earth if we had to kill everyone on earth and had to leave three types of people that's a great we got an actor we got the internet guy and we got a brain surgeon we're all good two of those are the same thing yeah no no no tv and youtube are different i only eat food while doing like a farmer for one no no the brain surgeon's got that uh and uh yeah and so then the brain surgeon's in town for a couple weeks and so i gave him some regs okay that's really funny dude you asked okay like can we be real because he called me saturday night uh friday night because you were gonna go to the game seven yeah and he was like you want to go and it's like can i back up please so i had two tickets because i had to get to and uh but i was down to get to because i was gonna ask my mom to go and she said yeah right she never passed for it right so then i asked aiden if he wants to go because i know he's a blue jays fan he said no i had a good reason he had a good reason and then and then i was like you know i'll probably sell the ticket and and i was telling cutie about this got funny what like yeah so i asked my mom i asked aiden that slime no i hadn't had slime at this point okay i'm like ready to sell the ticket we'll get there though and then cutie's like he's like ask slime and i was like he's gonna say no and she's like no he won't so i call her on speaker and i call him on speaker in front of her but he says no it's like a two minute call it's i was hemming and hawing he hems and haws for like 45 and he's like yeah yeah yeah and i'm like you just want to say i won't play league he's like yeah yeah i will say this oh for one i was like yeah i'd like you clocked it he clocked me the same way before this by the way he was like so you're just gonna stay home and play counter-strike like no no well mine was the answer yes but i did say to him i was like you must be scraping the resin pipe of your fucking contacts here but apparently i was third in line you couldn't sell the seat huh no i sold it i sold it you sold it how much i sold it for like 12k damn but but i i will say this if i had hit gold before you called i would have gone with you uh you don't know how much this is taking my life over because honestly having another person would have been a nightmare i wish i got the travel was so fucked i wish i had gone with you because stain meant that i went to basketball and i fucking fractured my thumb yeah he was wearing a fucking brace you don't split no i had a big brace on and then i i messaged a lot who is a orthopedic resident and uh and he looked at a video and i told him like what's going on with it what type of fracture it is and he's like you just take it off that's pretty awesome so you get to wait how long like six weeks i'm gonna go tomorrow see an orthopedic surgeon and find out how bad it is and if i need surgery aiden after this anyway i told him to ask sunla and then he said to me that's racist sunla is taiwanese yeah i'm like what the fuck are you talking what does it have to do i just thought it's a friend i thought you thought of him because japanese players are on the team that's crazy it's crazy you thought that i was just like i think that you thought that because when you think of baseball you think of japanese people and then he mentioned an asian man i haven't mentioned sunla or hung out with him in in like that's why i thought it was a good idea an old flame it's not an old flame okay imagine a romantic getaway yeah in toronto we don't need to be shy about it it's not romantic guys and you guys made it weird oh it's sexual though you guys make it weird when i have new friends and i think it's because you're insecure about losing me as a friend yes yes yes we're gonna do it forever size new friends that i have yes yes dude the reason why i suggested sunla is because i thought it'd be a good idea dude we hashed this out how the fuck would that be a good idea because he maybe likes baseball you gotta hear his you gotta hear his take we won't go too much we did on the primo we we can spend a lot of time on this live said that your hangout dinner for halloween was friend slop oh it's friend slop yeah there's so many people there that it was friend slop how intimate of a gathering it's like all of our and we ask if you remove michael and lily is it no longer friend slop he said it's not a good idea it's not a good idea it's not a good idea it's not a good idea it's still friend slop of course it's friend slop what is what is it and i was like if that's friend slop what does it even mean yeah what is it so you can't hang out with more than one friend no so i said no to do that i i concocted a theory yeah of friend slop and i think that any group that grows too large where there's two separate conversations or more happening becomes friend slop and i think the upper limit of that is four after once you hit five people now is a family reunion friend slop worse yes thanksgiving family family slop family same concept thanksgiving dinners or blood slop yeah so like a birthday party is friend slop birth slop so this is friend slop no four people zipper laughs he doesn't contribute verbally except laughing he is like god so when we have a guest it's friend slop yes 100 it actually is so just being in the office is slop depends on how many people in the office so you can see how we felt confused by that this is the dumbest shit you're you're getting the theory right 100 percent i it was such an intimate group at halloween that's what so much slop that's what i'm saying huh no it wasn't slop it was like just people that i love that i invited to my home of course which is friend slop no no his mind works in such a beautiful way i didn't want to go and then i'm glad i did we learned a beautiful lesson today it's like we discovered or it's like i know that because i'm that way that's why i want to watch him play solo queue i have to take he also says no intimate hangouts i have to take the good with the bad well yeah you haven't asked me going to we in damn fucking scones age oh you do like going to we spa i want to go we i want to see big pecker the issue is a group of five so i don't think you'd like it what yeah i think many people it's different it's dick slop if it's five balls is that slop in one sack yeah god damn that's dick that's ball slop that's cool god damn no you have a diseased mind yeah yeah makes me good at some things and bad at other things two of the people are just my aunt and my mom um it could be like me you nick my it could be me you your girlfriend my mom and my aunt you'd be like friend slop one of those has to go and i i argued all girlfriends go oh yeah and his friends friends make it slop well i would just say they're the first to go yeah because they make it slop they make it well they made it slop the girls make it slop queens hear you yes queens of slop they're queens of slop queens of the slop girls make it slop and we can't have them around because we don't want it to be sloppy no more i like what i'm trying to say i get you you get me no i didn't want to go and then i'm i was glad i did because i thought i was explaining to these guys i was like you the way you described it that's why i was confused when i was texting you because i you were like do you want to have dinner with me and my mom and i was like oh my god like that's so weirdly personal i was like yeah sure i'd love to you asked me that like last week and then it was like a friend slop and i was confused that's why i was like where are we going what are we doing blindsided him you were just like coming to my house do you think do you think i had a thought this week is you've been we used to live together and we lived in a group setting for a long time yeah that was house slopping yeah that was house slopping yeah that was house slopping and then even after you moved out you had a long period of time where you lived with other people you had even josh who had miles uh and now we've entered this new age period where you're unemployed you guys stop saying you're unemployed you're unemployed yeah he works on projects and shit what the fuck he's a freelancer you're unemployed you're unemployed you're unemployed he's a freelancer and you stream games by and you're you're at home alone a lot now and i i worry about you like i'd worry about like an uncle i haven't seen in a while you know do you think you're becoming more antisocial are you getting more pleasure what are you talking about are you getting enough pleasure i'm not fucking yes do you think i pleasure i get all the pleasure i need for myself i feel like we okay that's good i feel like when we all live together we gave you a nice layer of social lubricant yeah where you can where you can join the discord call if you will whenever you like and leave whenever you like you just fucking kill yourself dude i swear to god and now i'm worried that the that the social lubricant is gone and we don't we don't see you as much that's okay this what you were talking about this like two three years ago in the pod and the answer is still the same but i will say this pod existing is crucial yeah if this pod doesn't exist i am a way different person with how i hang out i think if this pod doesn't exist you might be in tito mode forever you would go in tito mode i think you think you would be normal but i like him i'm worried about i'm worried about the longer you go living alone especially with the pot at least we have the pod is like this safety mechanism right one day you'll drift through the veil of tito mode and never come back one day listen to me one day i will move to the desert and i will talk to nobody i don't like that i don't want you to do we don't want you to do that but well no i'll talk to you okay okay great but i'm gonna move to the desert okay and i'm gonna live there okay in a weird little place okay okay and i'll be on discord all the time you're that's what i want that you're not am i crazy you're not you're so close to living like nothing about how you live now is different from this i go to the desert why why the desert i like it okay i like it do you have you lived in the desert uh i i've lived in a step climate okay yeah okay yes okay kind of somewhat of a desert i just mean that there's nothing stopping you from being a discord all the time do you just mean like phoenix no no not phoenix okay palm desert okay you're getting like a hotel spring yeah or east and it's a weird looking place the weird little place does it have a bathroom there's probably a bath that's good desert's not weird desert that's like retirement desert it'd be like old people retirement cathedral city you gotta go you gotta go to yucca valley though yeah some shit like that blair who i don't even know where blair is no blithe i mean it's life that's different that's not different that's like that's like uh curse the cowly dog yeah middle of nowhere california we're talking we're not we're crazy if you were talking about yucca valley yeah we're Fucking, fucking, you know, that kind of desert where it's just like, We got a little farmer's market, a Denny's, a bunch of racist people, a bunch of really nice people. You just became an insane Tito streamer in the desert. I'd be the desert man. I want to be the desert man. You'd be the desert man. But I like it. But I love this show. Yeah. But if the show ever ends, I will become the desert man. So that's what I'm trying to say. Aiden's going to Sweden. You're the desert man. We're like the four elements. I'll go somewhere snowy. Well, Aiden's got that. I'll go somewhere wet. Okay. I'm going to go somewhere firey. I'm going to live in the rainforest. No, you're the earth. No, I guess I'm the earth. I'm going to go somewhere with fire. Yeah, you go live in the grand, on the equator. In JFK's eternal flame, we're going to have a home in there. Ooh. And you could have a home, too, in the Patreon, which is the episode that's now on the Patreon. This is me choking you out for not joining. It's actually. Oh, not with that guy. I like it. I don't like it. Stop choking him. That episode is actually shot yesterday, so it's a bit of a time warp. Yeah. If you can wrap your head around that. Nice. Finally, you get what you deserve. Idiot listening. But we'll see you next week when Ludwig is. Fuck it. He dies from strep throat. Stop. Stop. Stop. Uh-oh, strep alert. I don't like that. I don't like it.