Ep. 223 - WE RANKED EVERY CANDY! (Halloween 2025)

uh so i got i got something to tell you guys what is it i went to the dermatologist this morning to get the whole thing checked out you know yeah my hair and uh it's not looking good you know you guys won wow wait this actually happened no this actually happened and also i'm here i don't know if you guys didn't i'm sorry the empty chairs just started talking sorry my bad um so it's real so it's real what'd they tell you you're like a you're like a the norwood they didn't make a new number it's like norwood like beta delta options and it's like you know there's i can take medication and shit like that right like he just started a razor sound i was like what if i just covered it up all the time yeah for the audio listeners aiden is dressed as a furry for halloween well he's dressed as a wolf so i feel like you stand up and show and wag it for everyone just we just wag around wag a moment dude the thighs oh my god unbelievable dude they're so thick dude look at it wag that's not a wag man you know it's a shake the thighs look like there it is oh man dude that hits the g spot the male g spot so crazy i've been knocking shit these thighs been knocking shit down over the office you look like you could jump 200 feet in the air you got too much it might need it might need to be a helmet comes off party like well how about you show us let's see what the hair doctor said show us with a hair doctor because i think he might have been wrong don't don't bow your head we're not gonna make fun of you we're not gonna make fun of you of course we're not gonna do that we have a track record of making fun of you on this show specifically here we never it's not gonna happen it looks okay it looks it looks good man pull it back oh my god wow it keeps going back wow um wait where's move the paw a little bit oh that looks great that looks really good it looks good it looks real good it feels like you're not even better it looks good but your face is just horrific i couldn't really see it before i'm loving it it's just wrong come on it's a really strong hairline and everyone likes it okay well i maybe just get used to this so i actually so i actually said this the other day i was fucking doing the thing i do every day for 10 hours telling kelby he's a chomo yes i do that yes yeah yeah yeah in your mind in my mind your day is 12 hours league of legends 10 hours of calling kelby a chomo two hours of sleep i wish i got more sleep too you're right i just wish i did but i was uh i i was like on stream and i was saying like i was like i was like aiden what to his last dying breath will always tell me no i've just always had a high hairline and i'm like no dude i can see this shit bald guys see this shit with like a laser precision i can't believe you gave him the ammunition to be correct it's it's more like i already knew that i came up behind him he he was he was typing a comment on the ls subreddit and he was pissed i'm not bald yeah and shut up about someone was being rude to him and he's typing up a storm and i'm sympathetic and i'm like hey tell him bro and i and i touch his chest and i'm touching his shoulders and i got this view of the bald spot on the back of his dude come on and i'm like and i'm just saying it's like how many times did i warn him how many times did i say let's go to turkey yamalaka to be fair you've been warning him before as a problem i think it became a problem because you said it yeah i think you willed it into existence i think you will i think the stress is what made his hair yeah i think he was stressed about losing it and that's why he lost it's a that's so raven moment i got gaslighting to go you got gaslighting going bald yeah and it may and maybe it'll save my life wait did you think about that do you actually know what you're gonna do yeah i think i'm gonna try to topical rogaine topical over the counter rogaine helps the crown but you gotta keep doing it also makes your hair feel gross it's gross to put in your hair why it's yeah there's like a film that goes in your hair did you go yeah did you did you go for the rogaine at one point you yeah i did you did yeah i can't tell you're talking to it's not clear dude the new balances look so funny my god if you were honestly if you laid down in the back like under the slide i wouldn't know i wouldn't know you were there dude can we can we next time we have a guest can you ghillie suit in the set because it looks like a ghillie suit snap their neck in the corner yeah that would really snap their neck in half can we talk about your awesome costume that's pretty that's a lot of effort yeah i'm spider-man why are you wearing pajamas i just woke up but i like what he just woke up i don't get it it couldn't be more clear i don't get it what what is there not to get i'm spider-man and i got called in early to action and i was still wearing my pjs oh so you're out of the house i'm out of the house you're wearing that out of the house spider-man is wearing only the mask yeah sometimes you wear just the mask sometimes you wear just the mask and you go nude underneath spider-man gets into bed let's just walk through this when spider-man gets into bed he strips down he takes keeps the mask on and he goes from neck and he strips down now he puts his pjs on yeah okay what let me ask you this when i have sex what do i wear it's a great question are you having sex with mary jane are you having sex with someone else i'm having sex and that's a great question is it mary jane gwen stacy or a random barricade bunny for spider-man so many floozies a floozy a floozy what you keep the mask off of the floozies the mask would stay on you're right mask stays on hey say it in spider-man what were you doing last night huh don't worry about me oh my god bro he's got white shit all over i was sucking off a floozy he's got the he's got the like what's wrong with that i was just saying i can web your dick right now you have to eat it through the mask yeah just spider-man the giant hole dude i was telling anthony before we started we're standing next to each other and i was rubbing his belly because he said he said i just ate a cheese steak yeah and i locked eyes and i was like someone wrote this fan fiction it's like me me the furry rubbing my pregnant kratos yeah i did i ate a cheese steak last night at really late so i would be bloated for the podcast i thought being like it's always sunny mac like fat kratos would be kind of funny but i'm not like i've been eating like shit and not doing anything for a month and i said let's use this yeah it's funny because you're like painted fully white like you're ghostly white but you're under a purple light so you look like you're purple dude you got nick's skin tone yeah okay yeah all right rich i've never heard rich laugh i've literally never heard rich's laugh why did that even just come out you ever seen your fucking belly bro oh man that's crazy wait let's look at your purple belly bro i can't it's under an awesome ghillie suit i don't know if i can get to it like no i don't know if i can i remember last year during halloween carlo had a ghillie suit and i picked him up for the party and it was just driving around with a guy in a ghillie suit in my car in a toyota rav4 it was a very funny feeling if you look up like top 10 buzzfeed you know bald costumes for halloween where do you think kratos lives i think it's like it's probably number one through three like it's it's one two or three it varying depending on whether he had a new game come out but like kratos is the bald like proud guy like we can say yeah i got kind of kratos vibes if you're you know bald and ripped yeah because he he made it out of the game and he's like i don't know i don't know i don't know he made it out he made it out of the bald also greek i think we we do we need video games need to stop platforming greeks i don't like it you're a greek wait speak to that is kratos greek i don't think he's greek no no he's something else what the fuck are you talking about he fights greek gods yeah but doesn't that mean he's against oh so he's so he's a turk that's what i'm saying yes i think he's he's not i don't think he's a macedonian he's a he's a i thought he was a slave greeks oh maybe if he's a slave then he's a slave maybe isn't greek because he got enslaved that's what i thought i don't know no shit i don't know shit either dude ludwig being more careful about kratos lore than other shit like well i don't know i don't want to get into this shit i swear on my mom's life i swear on my mom's life kratos greek uh do you guys think i look do you guys respect me yeah yeah yeah yeah man it's like it's like the word i put first but i do but you do on the list but it's like if you cycled through like if we randomly generated words Describe you and it came up. I'd say yeah, I agree with that about this a door I do adore you Wow I do mm-hmm. Yeah, you sound so reluctant every time I just either in the list or not I just got to think about it Admire yeah, I admire you no one's more certain No, the middle of the list you don't admire me not at present moment. Well, I Don't desire Do you desire me? No? Yes, you desire me I do I think in the lore I desire you right now I desire you like a pillow and the lore of your fake fanfiction. That's gonna be real Yeah, you desire me like a pillow. I desire you like a pillow like you need I need whoa It's hard for the thumps this is my life opposable thumbs a human thing now give me some fucking patience I'll keep snapping. I'm gonna sling my web all over you, bro. Oh You love we got so pissed at Aiden yesterday after the pod We did the pod and Aiden tried to corner him and he's like I'm a fucking I'm a fucking time slot for this I'm a fucking time slot for this. I filled my calendar and he tries to it was crazy I used the calendar. I saw him for the first time and he used the calendar against me and I was like and I caved immediately I was like god bless you dude. Respect the calendar. God bless you. Use the calendar 18 innings of baseball dude I Okay, last night Ludwig is at the World Series is the third game. It's 1-1 and And I wait the entire office Is watching the game it comes on at like 5:30? I leave a couple innings in to go see a movie one battle after another three-hour movie Our movie we come out of the theater There's a crowd around the bar watching the World Series still and it's the 14th in of the baseball game I get back to the office everyone is still here at 11:00 p.m. Watching the same baseball game, and it goes 18 innings. That's two baseball games There's two baseball games and you really kept saying is like you know that they you know that they'd stop selling alcohol after the 7th inning No matter what You can't tell Yingling a fact because then he'll just repeat it like Look he's right. They had no food. They didn't sell food Yeah, so you were there. Yeah, I was there was there's me my mom my aunt My aunt's friend. Oh your mom's reading a book Michael and Lily was she reading a book at the baseball game Michael No, she was reading condensed baseball how to play in French Explain to my aunt that's so cute, and then it was Lily's first baseball game. Oh my god was her first one So you guys had an opportunity to act like that's how it always is well, so she kept saying she's like why is it still going? Is it normal to hit this many hit this few balls baseball fans when they're done? Dumbass sport lasts too long. I'm bored I wish it was over Clear that's just Lily. Yeah, I know that it's another we need another subreddit. We need more activity Baseball didn't take any skill What's the other guy on the Dodgers like the good player Freddie Freeman Shohei Ohtani Yeah, so someone I was streaming league and someone just kept talking about this games going crazy I Like finally it's over Freddie Freeman closed it out. I was like who's that? I'm Ludwig Nice Shohei for Halloween yeah, you should have been Shohei for Halloween. That would have been really hard He should have went really hard should have gone Yeah, and then you go away, and then you could make fun of how he's ESL like you work But you could use all the Japanese you learned oh, I could use a Japanese I learned except when he's talking to with the toughest bitch In the fucking room Ludwig comes in that Cameron Brink clip is literally him. Just going you're tall Everyone's like he's using the fucking most advanced English possible. No, there's a clip dude. He's talking to the toughest And then he's just like hi, my name's Shohei Ohtani you can call me mr. Showtime nice to see you nice to meet you It's insane the rewriting it is literally just Cameron Brink Are you tingling? By the way, I guess she's not the baddest thing. My Ohtani number is one Duh, who do you got? Cameron Brink. You've met Cameron Brink? When did you meet Cameron Brink? We did the State Farm shoot together. Oh Wow, oh Cameron Brink was in the Gamerhood? The Gamerhood. Cameron Brink was in the Gamerhood? The Gamerhood What? You just keep saying it weird. I do. The Gamerhood. The Gamerhood. The State Farm Gamerhood. I can't see you. We love it Okay, cuz my shits also fogged up right now. Yeah Welcome to my fucking whole life, bitch. With glasses on. Oh my god. Yup, yeah a little bit of empathy from your side of the room That's what the masks were a thing. That's what the mask is for. It's for it's for concealing the truth. Mm-hmm But No, I didn't want to do my Ohtani today. Halloween. I'm going all in. Can you dress up as Ohtani and go around and Christian's your Japanese interpreter? Oh And he just like after I walk up to someone he just- just as a side bet yeah yeah can i be can i be the guy that you owe hundreds of millions to and then i'm gonna break your legs uh can i be him you think shohei owes hundreds of millions to someone yeah in the halloween costume yeah probably right okay yeah that's why he's in that's why he's a slave he's a baseball slave yeah he has to play he's just called a baseball player no he's a baseball baseball players are slaves shohei is because he's in debt so he's a baseball slave yeah also those dominican guys that they pick up and fucking put don't don't stop there no i'm saying dude they they pick up these dominican players and they like indenture them into playing baseball and it's like we're gonna send you fucking back and we're gonna fucking make your family really hurt who's that this is a thing who's that kratos has heard this on certain certain news sites guys we should hear kratos out what else do you understand the dominicans are being taken by some sort of baseball joseph coney they're being taken and they're being put into baseball games and being worked to the fucking bone like horses vertical video cut of this it's like conspiracy podcaster but he's dressed up as kratos ominous music in the background so they're snatching up dominicans they're snatching dominicans and they're sending them up to the triple a minors do they already play baseball yes when they snatch them yes they're snatching them off of like baseball fields yes yes yes okay snatching them off the baseball fields and then saying you can come play in the major league yeah so they're going to a baseball field where they already are good and like baseball but they don't get the money they're skits they get slaved like those k-pops girls what every k-pop girl has a fucked up contract where they have to get like nine surgeries and they don't own anything but the k-pop girls aren't the slave owners no they're the slaves okay and so similar to the k-pop girls yes but it's for dominicans for baseball yes same surgery is a slave to his manager he's a baseball slave to the debts that he has incurred okay which is different which is different so he wasn't captured he's not a slave he's too big to capture he's not a slave i mean he's a slave to debt like most americans are yeah but he's just paying off his debt then but oh but he'll never pay it off he'll never pay it off he's like bruno mars it's called compounding interest and he's like bruno mars he's gonna have a show at the luxor residency then half of america's a slave to their college debt that now you're fucking on where we're at spider-man spider-man now you're fucking on where we're at spider-man now you're fucking on where we're at spider-man figures it out i need too many people to save i can't do it i'm going back to bed i'm going back to bed yeah i can't i can't fix uh wealth inequality in spider-man no you gotta get out and vote for that one can i speak to something real quick yes in the beautiful halloween spirit speak on that yeah you may you know what fell off trick-or-treating yeah trick-or-treating fell off that guy's worth 30 no not for us in general no well for us well i mean yeah we went last year bro and that shit was mid wait you went last year yeah that shit sucked who can tell me about your haul all the doors are closed all the lights are off that's what i'm talking about so i'm walking up and i'm knocking anyway what happened to trick-or-treating and they just they don't answer and i and i see there's lights in the back and someone tried to tell me oh it was covid and i'm like i don't think i think i felt this before covid there was a shift before covid but it was like it was like and then covid hit and then plummets is it tiktok man why do you think there was a shift i well i i thought about this because i've been trying it's like an ai tiktok it's not real because i can't fix wealth inequality i've been trying to fix halloween which is number two on my list right and the biggest thing is uh fear that's part of it so true fear but fear is good on halloween uh it's the opposite day in that way uh the other thing is uh laziness i don't think kids are lazy no not the kids the parents what they don't want to bring the kids i think supervised trick-or-treating is a pox on the society and we should send the children out in groups unsupervised to roam you know you know i think the kids should have purge rules oh for halloween night only for halloween night only but they have to be unsupervised by a parent if they have a parent that's a that's a buff and they cannot have any purge rules does that mean the kids can commit crimes or the kids can commit crimes to each other the kids can commit any crimes you must defend your home from the kids i like that okay i don't know if i like that i would kill so many That feels- I kinda like that, cause that feels- I'm not allowed? That feels fair, right? The kids had the purge rules. Also, if you could, you would kill several kids? I'm saying if they all attacked my house at once, I'd set up the 50 cal. It just sounds like you were excited at the idea of a kid attacking your house. I'm just saying, I'd be like- *makes grunting noises* And they want like a Snickers? So in this- in this- I'm like *makes grunting noises* You have a 50 cal mini gun? Huh? Yeah, well you gotta- you have to defend your territory. Each bullet is 50 fucking caliber. Yeah. It's like kids are just- They're exploding. There's tracer rounds going off and filling them with light. You've seen the beginning of Marvel Warfare 2. No, I have, yeah. Yeah. But just imagine it's all kids. Remember, no trick-or-treating. No tricking. Uh, yeah, I- you know what they do is trunk-or-treating, we talked about this. Trunk-or-treating? Trunk-or-treating? Trunk-or-treating. Trunk-or-treating. What the hell is that? That sounds like a kidnapping scheme. What is it? You go to a parking lot, alright? Okay. You back your- back your trunk up, everyone's trunk-to-trunk. Okay. You create a whole line of it, open up the trunk, and then set up your trick-or-treats. And then the kid just walks down the fucking line. So it's like a dirt mall. Oh, that's cool. Yes. It's like a flea market for trick-or-treating. Yes. Dude, that's dark because- This shit fell off. It's not dark. This shit fell off. That's dark, that's fucking dark. Because imagine a kid gets snatched, and then you see a fucking- a Buick just go. Yeah. Drive away. I don't think- And they're bouncing around the truck bed like a dog. Have you seen a Buick whose trunk is fucking. Like, what is that? It's like Jolly Ranchers and a child, like, bouncing out of the back of the- You know what I'm saying? Like, that's scary. No, I don't. Because you are literally saying we should do the purge for kids. No, I'm saying that. A Buick in a fucking parking lot is a concern. It's the purge for kids, not- Yeah. The kids get to purge. Am I not allowed to defend myself from kids fucking just climbing- Climbing into my house like animals? No one's done- In the hypothetical kid purge, I don't think you should get to defend yourself. I think it's like where the chips are. Yes. What do I do? I just have to sit there? Yes. I think you have to- That's crazy. You can block the doors. You're making purge, yes. Like, you can rebuild the windows like in zombies, but I think that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Non-lethal. Is there- I think you can punch them if they get through your window. Okay, what about stun grenades? That's fine. That's fine. In your house, though. That seems- Yeah, only in the house. No, I think on the street it's probably fine. No, 'cause then it gets proactive. People get proactive with it and you can't have that. But what, they're gonna go out and they're gonna stun grenade kids and laugh and go back inside? Absolutely, yes. But I'm gonna also kill them. I think what you do is you find a clump of them, you throw a stun grenade, and then you have to fucking hammer throw them out of your- What does a stun grenade do in real life? A concussion grenade? I think it just makes a really loud noise and fucking sucks. But it's different than a flash grenade. I think that's the same. I don't know. In Call of Duty, they're separate. They are separate, but I don't know, we should get one. Love, can you do a video? I got hit by a concussion grenade. Ooh, I could, yeah. Yeah, I could do that. Sponsored by- I've been hit by several, actually. As Spider-Man or as Lovely? As Spider-Man. MK3, designed to produce casualties. Okay. Okay, well that's a lethal one. So what's the video I'm doing again? Um. So, presumably Red Bull- Will we get you one of these? Yeah, it's a Red Bull-shaped canister. Oh, a concussion grenade is a lethal thing to call it. I thought it gave you a concussion. I thought it was like, "Oh, my head." I'm sure it does. Sure. The Cam Scataboo grenade. And you just get CTE from one bang. Oh, that's cool. The Travis Kelsey grenade. And it just makes a moo sound, 'cause he likes them the most. It's a grenade that you go like this, and it's like. And he's like, "Whoa, what is in there?" "Is there a little guy in there?" It's a grenade that doesn't fall over when you spill it. It's a squishy grenade, and you can put your penis in the middle. Or you could, like, slap it on your wrist. I mean, should we get to the meat and the potatoes? Yeah, we can get to the meat. The meat and the potatoes. We joked about doing a candy tier list, and I feel like this is the best time of year to actually do it. And I think we could do it better than Kai did. I think we easily do it better than Kai did. Dude, you were screaming. You were talking about their candy tier list like they were the dumbest guys alive. Me? Yeah. What are you talking about? You were pissed. Maybe it was Mike. Made this up. One of us was mad. And it probably was you. No, what I said is. Which is why you're hiding. I said, "Look how funny it is that we were like we should do a candy tier list, and then that week they did one." Oh, I was the one talking about the opinions that they were holding about the candy. Yeah, I didn't watch it. I didn't watch the. But I'm sure it was bad, and I'm sure ours will be better. Wow! Candy tier list. So we have five categories, guys. We have goaded candies. We have candies that I'm not sharing. We have candy. This is just candy. It checks every box and nothing more or less. Then we have bag filler. You know, this is just to make the bag look fucking bigger. Sure. And then we have Thanos Snap. We're getting rid of that. That candy is off of the market. It shouldn't exist. I'm excited because for one, I'm fat Kratos today. And two, Ludwig is on a diet. I am. I want you to know if a candy is up here and you don't see it, you reserved a right to make Zipper do work and add it. Yes. To the final tier list to play along in the game at home. So shall we? Zipper, you can just pull them up and we'll go. One just is called candy. I'm excited about that one. I can tell you're excited for this. Sorry, you're making me feel fat. Oh, you're on a diet? It's about time. For what? It. I look good right now. I'm snatched. You do look good. You always look good. Tell me. Tell me. Compare. I'm snatched. Right in the chat. Who's tummy do you think is more snatched? Put it out. Put it out nasty. I like when he puts it out nasty. You put it out so nasty for me. Let me touch it. Oh, okay. Should we just drag one out to talk about it? No, rub my tummy with your fur. Yeah. What's the first one? I don't know. I'm waiting for him to pick one. Milky Way. When I was a kid, I had a bunk bed. Even though I was a kid, I had a bunk bed. Even though I didn't have a sibling. Isn't that weird? Uh, yeah. What the fuck is that about? I don't know. Well, I had a sibling, but we didn't share a room, but I had a bunk bed. I think maybe I asked for it and got it. I think I wanted a bunk bed for like sleepovers. Do you just get what you wanted when you would ask for it? Yeah, I feel like whatever you wanted, you got. To a certain year. And then I stopped getting as much of what I wanted, but yeah, generally I think I got what I wanted. Um, but when I was a kid, I was eating a Milky Way on the top bunk of my bed. And I think I had a friend over on like the, on like the under bunk playing call of duty or something. And I just threw up the Milky Way over the bunk bed down to the bottom. And it was like the second time I had ever thrown up in my whole life. It was really small. It was just like a, like a cat would, and then, and then I didn't eat Milky Way for like five years. Yeah. This happened. I got the stomach flu and I ate a bunch of red hots the day before. And then now to this day, red hots make me sick. Red hots are nasty. They are nasty, but I threw them all up. Do you need a claw? Dude, that's a bad puke. Do you need a claw to open it? Where is it? Oh, here it is. So Milky Way, I mean, I'll just say it right out. I think this is just candy. I have never, if you meet somebody, Milky Way is so nothing. It's so 40 degree day. If you meet somebody who likes Milky Way, I think that person doesn't exist. Well, I think Milky Ways were created when we had like six ingredients. Maybe. It was a pre red 40 universe. But then it's like. There's Snickers. That's always there for you. And Milky Way is just. Wait. So it was before autism. Yes. Yes. It was before. It was because it was the 1950s. So take us back to the, take us back to the good. To the Milky Way days. Soda fountains, two water fountains and Milky Ways. I would like to give a nuanced perspective on the Milky Way. Because what I like about the Milky Way is you got this like nougaty inside and a kind of hard shell outside. And there's a nice, there's a, you break, you break it with your teeth and you feel the difference. What are you from Mars company? That is different. Then the experience of a Snickers bar, a Snickers bar feels like it's one consistent big thing. This is amazing. This is like an M and M. It's like there's a shell and there's an inside and you can enjoy them separately. Is it goaded? No. Hell no. Is it not sharing it? Look at that. Look at that. I'm not. It's candy. Why am I listening to like ad copy from the Milky Way? I don't know. I think. Look, I didn't know you felt this strongly about Milky Way, especially since you threw it up, but I think it is outclassed by everything in its tier. We're all with you in everything Nick's saying is dumb. I might even go as far as to say it's bag filler. Yes. Yes. I'm with you, man. Sorry. I'm not candy. Sorry. I'm not. Come on now. It's close to bag filler. I'm not kidding. It is. It's bad. Enjoy material. Dude. Imagine you're at a steak dinner. Okay. Be with me for a second. Don't laugh. Be with me. Right. And you're on a date with a fucking baddie. You're on a date with the toughest. Okay. Toughest. But am I dressed the same? Yeah, you are. In your fantasy, you're dressed like that. Just me. Right now I'm imagining showing Tony a dinner with Cameron Brink. And she's giving you a fur job out of the tape. Out of the tape fur. Anyway, you eat your steak. It's so savory. You get some mashed potatoes. You get some corn. All sorts of savory fucking crazy shit. You're like waiter, check. I couldn't have another bite waiter. And then the check comes. And on top of the check is a little unwrapped single. Your mini Milky Way. And you take a bite. I take that bite. It melts on your tongue. I yell kid purge. And I go boom. Kid purge. Tell me in that moment. It's a grenade in the kitchen. Concussion grenade. In that moment. That's bag filler. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. Because you know what I say? I was like, huh, why not a Snickers? Yeah. And then I leave a two star restaurant. Yeah. review and my baddie would look to me and she would go this is kind of a broke restaurant isn't it they're giving you wrapped milky way for the dessert i wanted the milky way i i think you have a strong opinion on this and we what do you think you're the tiebreaker you you just ate well actually you're not a tiebreaker you're just you just put one in your mouth and shoot it what do you i think it's candy but you guys keep referencing snickers which i've never eaten wow you ever had a snicker what are you talking about have you had the bear bell protein bars uh i don't think so wait the ones we have here maybe i don't i don't think that aiden was allowed to eat candy right now were you yeah were you allowed to eat because it has peanuts in it right he's allergic duh he's allergic what a roller coaster of emotion we're gonna make you eat one today we were all freaking out we're gonna watch you swell up like a balloon what do we do it's two to two i i'm in the candy tier uh we need a way to decide i think ty goes in favor of the higher rank all right ty goes in favor of the higher rank it's candy bottom of candy bottom of candy bottom of candy it's close to bag filler all right one x hold up just pick one don't think about it jolly ranchers it's so regular jollies no this is gummies gummies it's so hard to get the candy out of the bag with these yeah your claw makes you wait we have shack candy wait i opened it shack's gonna be interesting wait so this is jolly rancher gummies yes i'm gonna do this a different way okay i'm getting creative guys am i dumb as brick oh my god i forgot about these candies wait let me just get one of yours i found them they don't talk about how hard it is to do shit as a furry they don't tell you i think i have to go mask off fuck it mask on oh this is interesting okay so i think like i mean the gummies this is a new development in human being kind right but they taste just like jolly ranchers they're just simply not hard um which is cool but dare i say that the jolly rancher spirit is to be hard a hundred percent i think but i think hard hard hard's out i think hard's out i think we live in a soft society and people want their candy to reflect the softness that they that they feel okay you're making a joke about like the cultural stuff but i think you're right i think hard candy is hard's out i i'm right about this i know this is a disgusting liberal candy guys i tried it it's so different now that i've tried it this is a liberal candy that is designed to keep us soft i would put this at bag filler no it's not i would say no snap it guys hi can i tell you can i give you a nuanced take on jolly rancher gummies i have a nuanced take after yours i don't want to say imagine you're at a steak dinner and it's you're with the bad dinner with steak the company and they just offered you a 30 trillion dollar deal yeah and all you have to do is eat this bag jg's there because you get it all yeah yeah i'm banks it's some great value um okay my guilty pleasure with gummy candy all gummy candy is i like to open the bag and then i maybe i eat one but then i just kind of leave it there and then the next day when it's stale and it's got a tougher exterior that's when i like it you're doing the kyle shields i only drink soda when it's flat because my tummy hurts yeah but i don't i think it's less of a departure from what the original form is it's just a bit of a hardness i don't like i don't like when gummy candy is too chewy i like when it's a little bit more tough counter a similar example now and laters used to be the hardest thing on the damn block yeah you eat it now and later and you're it's bad it's you might lose a tooth yeah that was my favorite now and later i loved it and then when they reverted and they're like now we're we went soft we lost dick you know it's funny i said now and laters fell off soft candies can become hard but hard candies cannot become soft yo and i think you should think about yes yes and i like to say this is a hard gummy this is tougher than your average a little tougher and that makes me like it i this candy the toughest now now let me let me be uh be a bit of an expert i you see jolly ranchers all the time there was a context the context was i would take any money i had and go buy them at the store one penny here i go down to the store i get one jolly rancher there was a yeah it lived on county island and there was i go up to the fucking gas station and i got jolly ranchers i've eaten them my most of my childhood it's probably why i'm fucked up this is this is crazy and so i amount of red 40s yeah i was gonna say the same thing slowly yeah so i could i mean i could talk for an hour on the tier list of flavors themselves and how they've changed but i will say this is very faithful to how jolly ranchers taste it is but i would say i think it's a very faithful i think you lose the soul of what a jolly rancher is and maybe i'm an old old head and i wish they were hard i wish they were hard um you wish they were as hard as a jolly ranch i think this well can i ask the question because we don't have we don't have jolly ranchers here um so what would you put where would you put jolly rancher but jolly ranchers themselves original as candy and i would put jolly rancher gummies as bag filler and i would implore you all to kill yourselves if you disagree with me okay wow i i look i think that bag filler is a bit of a weird category because i like these but i agree with their bag filler i think that when we make these weird variations of candy it's like what are we doing what are we doing what are we doing to me bag filler is like it's not worth the calories that's how i perceive it yeah like i'm not i'm not gonna finish this because i don't care to consume that amount of sugar on this product i would never ever seek these out in fact i i i would then i'll snap them that's you would get rid of these i would get rid of them yeah we we have we have fucking watermelon sour patch kids hey i think they're good enough to exist in the bag before before we go too far let's bag filler them before this goes anywhere crazy i'm a little scared bag filler dino snap is for shit that like is like it kills us it's like terrible do you guys like when you when you got your candy candy it's really bad when you got all your candy as a kid did you because because you can't eat all the candy at once yeah so i can damn well try okay i will though that's what i'm gonna do i divvied i okay i couldn't eat the candy all i want you got one of those medicine things and then went sunday monday tuesday wednesday almost like i divvied up the candy into like the the types or the categories that like i actually liked and didn't like and then you did a bracket and this one you know i eat this one maybe a month later and it's so easy to make fun of you right now there's too many avenues and choices i'm gonna leave it at one thing you can make fun of me right now name fucking one thing i got not got me guess i can't think of any he's caught us yeah guy who's allergic to peanuts like it literally is so many things it's crazy you're giving me so many avenues when i my mom actually halted she she limited me because i would have eaten it all in a day but she's like you can only have some candy from halloween i had it in this big mickey mouse pillowcase and one day i snuck it oh i got in so much trouble i snuck it i snuck it out i got up in the cupboard i took it out this giant fucking pillowcase of candy and i'm like rooting through it while i'm doing this my my the side of my body goes against the stove burner and we need a gas stove turns on the burner and it lights the pillowcase on fire i'm not kidding it lights it on fire i don't know what to i'm home alone i was i was a latchkey kid did you lose your did you lose your candy or just the pillowcase well i i like poured water on it yeah and some of it was like burnt and then my mom was like what the fuck happened when she came home and i had to explain you're not cleaning that up in time oh no well also it's like the pillowcase with mickey mouse blue pillowcase is burnt parents don't fuck around with fire hey oh i went to a friend's house i laid that right yeah yes it is nick ain't that yes it is i went to a friend's house and i lit a match they just had a box of matches and i lit one and i just blew it out instantly and then his mom came home smelled the match but kicked us all out gave him a 45 minute chewing too i wasn't allowed you were smoking weed that's what that's what happened uh no well i thought you were just using fire yeah i think so i wish she slapped the dog shit out of you it would have put it it would have put you in your place if she slapped the dog shit out of me yeah that would be your place uh i was like maybe 12 oh a cheeky little laugh he's making a dumb and snarky little joke they're just matches i went back i went back the next day and what'd you do i climbed in her bathroom hey mrs b it's the kid purge bet you didn't hear about it because you don't use fucking the internet or anything awesome candy corn candy corn sure okay it's a top bro this is a divisive ass candy bro oh my god wait guys candy corn well very divisive what i don't like i got a lot to say right off rip what i don't like is that this isn't a zip-up bag that's true why is this in a zip-up because we're rich rich had to like buy a bunch can you get there nice nice good job rich were these sold like this oh you did it yourself okay yeah every candy corn is sold in the same excessively large bag with 4 000 pieces can i tell you guys something how can we all just discuss how do you eat candy corn one by one bitch oh sometimes you eat yes yes each part so you go you go teeth white right break it off you have to clean line two we're going orange i've never seen you so that is a clean line look you can see just the babiest amount of orange he has clean line he's talking about candy is like the cringiest he's ever picked what do you mean and then You don't realize this, this is the corn. You see it? I feel like the girl in the baseball meme where it's the guy looking over and explaining shit. Then he goes, then you cut off the white part and then the orange part. And that's why it's called the yellow. And none of this hurts me because I fucking know I'm a candy head. And by the way, and it looks like corn. I think he's so passionate about this and it's something I rarely see because he's so irony poisoned and sad. That's all I thought you'd say. Okay, I mean, let me speak my piece. Oh, here, let me do it like you, Ludwig. I think it's in the middle. No. I think it's the middle. Next. I've been the only one who's next. No strong opinion. You guys are the middle ones. No personality in my opinion. Next. I love that you came direct from an LSF comment, but I've really been the only one who stood on business saying bag filler Thanos snap. And you guys are like, maybe you put it in the middle. Look at your tier list. Bro, I was going to put it. I was going to put it higher than candy. I said. Bag filler, bag filler, Thanos snap. And all of a sudden you're calling me middle of the road and you have two candies. You are middle of the road, bro. Thanos snap. You know what? I'm getting road head and you're in the middle of the road. That's where we're different, bro. I don't understand. We drive different. And I got a road hog. I got a road hog. You're saying I'm the only one who's fucking standing on shit. You, I mean, I'm just, I'm explaining. Look, today you're standing on it a little bit, but usually you only wag it around your cheek a little bit. Yeah. Okay. But I'm standing on it. Usually you only do a counterclockwise swing. So why are we talking about yesterday? What, are we living there? I mean, he, he, you came at his neck and then he came at your neck. So then why are you on his side? I'm just, cause he's. Cause where am I at today? He's articulating himself. And I'm standing on shit today. And you made fun of him for articulating himself. It's true. I made fun of him for saying. Is there a quality in me that you'd get rid of, Ludwig? Yes. Would you Thanos snap that quality in me? Yes. Or is it bag filler? You mean it? No, say it. You don't mean that. Tell me you mean it. Tell me you mean it. Tell me you mean it. Tell me you mean it. Would Thanos snap the quality that regurgitates internet shit? No, I'm talking about the candy. He's talking about when you make fun of him for candy corn. I'm talking about, oh yeah, I would. You get rid of it? Tell me you get rid of it. No, look at me. Don't look at me. Thanos snap that Milky Way speech. All right, I'll be different now. I'll be different in the next episode. He's gonna be different. I'll be like you. You leave. Don't be hurtful. I'll follow your lead, man. Don't be hurtful, man. You don't want that part of me. I would Thanos snap that. You've only been too mean to me. I'll stop being mean. And from the Mars company, Candy corn. And from the Mars company, we have candy corn. And the wonderful thing about this is that it's chewy but soft. You sound like one of those people selling a watch at like an auction on TV. Yeah, yeah, the QVC. The QVC of candy. Listen, can I talk about candy corn? I have so much to say. Can I? You may. Can I talk about candy corn? Because it feels like I can't. I'm just a fucking wolf, man. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. This shit probably kills your animals. I can't even digest it. Yeah. I think this should be Thanos snapped. Dude, I think it should be gone. I think this candy sucks. I don't even care that it's candy and it still tastes good because it's processed. Up top. I think it should be. I hate people who talk about liking it and I don't want them to talk about it anymore. But I was going to do that. I hate Aiden's girlfriend. Yeah. Oh, she likes candy corn. She loves candy corn. Yeah, it's probably. I hate my fucking girlfriend. It's probably her worst trait. Why do all girls like candy corn? I don't like fucking candy corn. It doesn't make any sense. I don't think girls like it. Girls love candy corn. Look at the data. I think it's just two of them. Does your girl like candy corn? No, my girl's normal. Y'all got weird. I haven't had my girlfriend. Y'all got alien girls. Yeah. Okay. I've been eating this while you're talking. I love candy corn. I love it. It's good. I don't know why we hate it. There's no reason to hate shit. We can't live our lives hating shit all the time. That's good. That's what you do. It's your thing. We can't do that. It's kind of most of your whole MO. Candy corn, it's also like this staple. Guy defending Hitler in 1939. I might be candy corn's biggest defender. Yeah. But the thing is, it just, it needs more, it needs better marketing, but maybe it doesn't need it. That's the issue. Candy corn, it does not need better marketing at all. We had to buy a giant bag of it and put it in little bags. That's bad. You don't even know what the brand is. We don't even know what the brand is and we still eat it. Isn't that crazy? That's how strong the product is. It is crazy. Which I hate to admit. I hate to admit it. I think candy corn was, I have to imagine it was the first candy for Halloween. I think it's awesome. I consider it candy. I would even say not sharing, but you guys need to figure this shit out. This is an important fucking one. We don't need to figure shit out. It's Thanos snap. The three of us say it's Thanos snap. It's Thanos snap. Oh, I guess you lose. Oh. Yeah, that's. Yeah. It's terrible. I just want it on the Senate record that I stood here. I voted yes on 50, so even if it gets no, I voted yes. I voted yes. That's my voting record. And when we are in fucking war with Afghanistan in 2035. You were the one guy who voted no. I said no, I didn't want, I don't want to do that. I just feel like there's better shit to spend our time on. Are you. Like in eating candy. I think this is. Like if I see my kid eating this. I see. I'm hitting my kid. I see. Yeah. Dude. Yeah. But I see candy corn and I'm like, dad, this is a good day. I'm pepped up at my step up. Candy corn eating son or thought daughter. Thought daughter. Of course. I respect her choices. It's really not. Sexuality's not really. That's what she's saying. I don't like people call it. All right. Next one. We're Thanos snapping it, man. It's Thanos snap. Equine zipper. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I've never had an almond joy. Almond joy is the greatest candy. God damn it. Dude, everyone hates you. I'm fucking figuring it out. You're useless fuck. Candy corn is Thanos snap zipper. Almond joy is the, uh, it's the greatest candy in this podcast. In this bag. This would be the first one that I ate every time. Wait, you, you've had and love almond joy. I love almond joy. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Should I bite the almond side or the non almond side? That's the fun part. So what you do here. I can just feel it. I don't even know what they look like. Let me show you how to eat an almond joy. You take it. Don't get too detailed. You take it. We'll get fucking crucify you. I know. Put you on a cross. Too detailed. Crayons will never end up on a cross. Threads of vocabulary needle. He's Greek and the old one before Christianity. So what you do is you take it. You bite an almond and then you remove it and then you eat the rest. That's my favorite way to do it. I'll do it that way. I like that. I've never done it this way. I love almond joys. They're really good. I think for me, it's between goated and not fair. I'm not kidding. Oh my God. You hate it. Are you allergic to almonds? No. So I think, um, what I love about it is the amount of peanuts in it. What? Oh, it's called the almond joy. It's an almond joy. Wait, I have peanut joy. It tastes exactly like a Samoa. It is coconut. It's the like coconut with sweetened condensed milk or whatever. It's the same shit that's in like a macaron. I love coconut people like coconut had this weird history in the nineties and early two thousands for being like disgusting, like autistic slop. Like if you like coconut, you're a fucking freak. This is a thing. Yeah, I think he's unpacking something. No, no. It's like you bring over to school and everyone's calling you and everybody calls you coconut. I swear you can look at track it all. This is in me. Media coconut is like weirdly bastardized. It's, it's out of the, that doesn't happen anymore. But I, growing up, I ate coconut shit and I was like, I like it a lot. I love coconut shit fan of coconut. I'm with you. You know, there's a little desserts to talk about the macarons where it's like the coconuts and then the bottoms like dipped in chocolate. Yes. Bitch. Yes. I, I eat a thousand of those. Yes. Bitch. I would eat a thousand of those until I became the size of a balloon. Yes. I would become big Mario flying through the air fly over. I'd fly over any city. I think it's filling out the bag. Why? This is tough. It's going out the bag. I even like, Hmm. What do you know? What's going to go? Sorry. There's okay. Yeah, that's so, so, so tough, so tough. And I get a lot of it in this office day. Sure. Well, what I'm trying to think of what's going to come up here. That Aiden's going to be like, this is the best. I, I don't enjoy the almond. Joy is making me feel a lot of things, right? Because one, it has the option to be a game, which I really appreciate out of candy. It's very important. Clearly important for me to the, the inside tastes, nothing like the top, like there's two layers. There's two layers to this. There's multiple, this is a multi-stage process of eating with multiple experiences, but I really like it. It reminds me of a different thing I like, which is, I guess I should say caramel delights because Samoa is the canceled version with Samoa's or the canceled version. Yeah. We call them caramel delights now. Cause American Samoa, I guess. I don't know. I feel like it's probably on the frame. It's probably fine to say, do we call them? We don't girls. Girls. Got scared of the woke mob. Girl. Scouts got scared. Came for the girl scouts. But at the same time. Why? Cause it's the kid purchase. Throw a concussion grenade in front of the fucking Albertsons taking out 13 girl scouts. At the same time, I could not eat another one of those. That is so fucking rich. It's a, yeah. That was so rich. But isn't that what we want out of candy is like a one shot one and done. I don't think I do. Like when I get some candy, I'm like trying to eat a bag at the movie theater. Imagine getting a fucking big ass almond joy at the movie theater. I'm like, I can't eat popcorn. I think that's a different venue. Cause sometimes you're you're it's movie candy and sometimes it's not. You need something that lasts a while that pairs with the world's greatest nachos. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That's why you got mad. Yes. Because we're looking at Nick and he's talking like he's a sommelier and this is the same guy went to a regal theaters, came back going, dude, like nachos. What's the best thing I've ever eaten? My compliments to the chef. You made my year. Hold on. Let's see. Taiwan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's 2010 manufacturing candy corn. I would say that the candy corn that was made in the nineties is the shit we're still eating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never. It can't deteriorate. It enters your body. It never gets broken down. They run out forever. The thing about almond joy, this might be a bastardization. of the category but i would share an almond joy like i would say yeah you take the side without the fucking almond and i'll have the awesome almond side sure i mean that's i think that messes with the tier list it's more of like i if there's an almond joy on the table and we both look at it i'm kind of running to get it you know i i want that what's your vote you don't get it i'm goaded what's your vote goaded what's your vote bag filler oh my god what's your vote you're not sharing i think unless that's what i love almond joy a coconutty aftertaste that i'm enjoying pause i'll negotiate up to candy i i'm saying firm i goaded i mean i don't it's hard i uh i've never seen him squirm like this i've never i've never made because it's the record it's the set at record i've never seen him be uncertain like this he's made so many callous decisions about so many things putting more thought what is almond joy goaded or is like markiplier a pedophile yeah like that one he's like i know for sure or i don't it's either he did or he didn't that's and that's what's easy but this has nuance i think i'll get i'll give it goaded i think i give it goaded and you know what it was my dead mom's favorite candy it was my mom's favorite candy but she's alive um well i guess mine doesn't matter anymore because the two went out for goaded i would have said top of candy well you're voting does matter does it yeah does it diminish like does it oh you moved up to candy i'm i negotiated up to candy oh there's two candies two go to i don't think the way it should work is if you go thanos snap he goes bag filler we both go goaded it just goes goaded right yeah i think so i think so does it average to not sharing yes i think so okay then that's fine that's fine that's what i that's also what i maybe would have a bottom of not sharing maybe is what i would have uh accepted all right next one sweet tarts oh my god growing up i loved sweet oh i love a sweet tart these are gonna feel like shit at the end of this i know people are gonna say the sweet tart even just by form factor what aiden it's like sweetheart dude i never realized that people used to say sweet tard in my school to you about you when you yeah when you would do something nice for other people that's what they call them why does it say bold and the other side says calm what's it look like wait these are it's the pink and blue bag sweet tarts yeah they're built like an aspirin tab so something about sweet tarts i love i have a platform that i can talk about my thoughts for the first time in my life is i like i like chalky things i like chalky candies i like smarties i like sweet tarts i like bottle caps i don't think they're on here but i would put that as 100 goaded uh every anything that makes a chalky taste in my mouth i enjoy it very much sweet tarts and the reason why sweet tarts are a little uh um the love and hate is because if you eat too many of them they burn a hole in your tongue this has happened to me and i'm sure it's happened to you guys no never in my life what happens you suck on them too long or you just eat enough so uh there is a pain that comes with the sweet tart and i think that's very interesting but it's a point against it i would put sweet like a sour candy is how you experience it like they i mean they just have an absurd amount of citric acid i think in it that and that's what you're talking about i would put it as candy i i'm happy to see it but i'm not jumping for joy but if it's gone i do notice it it's not only the perfect candy like it's a candy because i i i actually would say that um smarties are bag of failure but sweet tarts they add that little bit more that makes it candy for wow those are those are rockets for my canadians listening smarties no yeah smarties american smarties are rockets and smarties are m&ms and smarties are candy are basically m&ms have you guys seen the big smarties dude they're like the size of fucking half dollars i wouldn't like that they're crazy my ability to dominate the whole the whole smarty in like one bite is a big part of that experience that fucking necklace that was filled with smarties like candy why he's the grossest shit ever and you could and you could bite it in half and then you could pull the string back and you could shoot it it's so fun and i used to pull my mouth open and then and then bruise the oh yeah dude i it hits your first two teeth and it goes and then you go to spencer and you can buy the same thing but they're underwear yeah and you would i didn't have sex at that point no but you still buy them this is like 17 i only went to gamestop of course you did of course you did sweetheart um very good sweetie these are candy to me yeah i'm candy yeah i'll how do you feel about sweet tarts at least oh candy what are your thoughts oh they i i i they have a sweetness than a tartness a sweetness tart tasted both do you like them do you enjoy them there's the candy they anything candy and above it would be something i rolled up look the person in the eyes and you have that little moment when you're trick-or-treating where they're handing you the candy and you're waiting to see if they're giving you something shit because i remember having that thought as a kid where if they handed me something i didn't like it was like what are you even fucking doing here man it's like why why not just close down the goddamn house if you're gonna give me that close shop because this has to be a money laundering operation for what you're dishing out yeah oh my god and this was something i was excited to get do you guys remember bouncing on dick for whoever had the full-size candy bars oh my god let me write it all now that i'm now that i'm the one to have my dick bounced on by who what by who like probably spider-man or fucking yeah it's really whoever comes to the door or like it's it's just a variety of casting characters i'm a big candy bar house and let me tell you we've only got two trick-or-treaters last year it's i had all these big i had fucking feastables bro yeah i also had an absurd amount of feastables and i had zero trick-or-treaters the kids go crazy one kid came up and cutie gave them the like like a palette yeah just like here yeah they're like oh my god did you have that thing when you were younger where you'd hit different neighborhoods while you're trick-or-treating right like maybe your mom or your friend's mom would drive you to different blocks and neighborhoods and then the the prime time in the night is like all right we're going to the rich neighborhood yes we know we got the big houses yes the big houses and then it's like oh my god we're going to the rich neighborhood and you'd collect yes you collect uh yeah i would get fucking trained out all night for a big candy bar i don't care i would and it was the kid purge so it was fun it's like it's like fast food at school man it hits different on halloween oh my god a big candy bar you could have one any day normally go to 7-eleven get a big candy bar on halloween though it's just like i'm like like sloppy yeah yeah yeah fill me out like an application all right uh next one okay let's go in order so we don't have to wait to see which one he picks um three musketeers i don't have one does anyone have one oh three musketeers i can keep talking about every single candy like an old friend you just remember dude they are candy is like the way that i interacted with happiness as a kid another half now i know i know everything about three musketeers i do know everything about three musketeers as well wait oh still tastes like shit yeah yeah hey put her there you know what i had a i had a phase where i didn't like three musketeers and then i flipped i because i was like everyone was trading them and so i was buying low in the trade sessions on three musketeers because like yo oh my god they're so slept on i can trade tootsie rolls for this guys and i actually think they're not that bad this is what i threw up oh it was three musketeers not a milky way it all came back whoa so i want to know if anybody relates to this of being gaslit into liking three musketeers this is the first time because i remember watching really fun three musketeers commercials that made the candy look really good something about the texture and what they said in the commercials i can't even remember the specific ones but i remember watching that and being like i cannot wait to eat three musketeers and then i would get it in my candy bucket and i sinking a couple years of like yep three musketeers i like it and then it's some point i just grew up and realized i've never liked this candy yeah i can make my own decisions yeah and i don't have to like it i don't have to eat this i don't have to like it tastes like throw up to me i can't i can't vote it's just a worse version of a milky way in every way i like the wrapping that doesn't count but the wrapper should count i think it should count i like it you like the the branding i like the silver wrapping yeah look at it i think they had a really cool like stop motion uh three musketeers commercials like it was very cute that's what i remember the most besides the fact that i hated having them that looks like a baseball team to me this is bag filler yeah remember these yeah they were great dude it's kind of an awesome commercial yeah this looks awesome that's what i'm saying it only looked awesome and then they just put shit in the wrapper this is bag filler it's bag filler or thanos snap i have i i think i for the first time that might be fair because then we can just have milky way what amazing claymation oh look at that they make it look so good i will say though three musketeers get a massive buff when you put them in the freezer because they don't fully freeze i hate freezer guys yeah me too don't put shit in the freezer guys freezer's not where things go i hate that culture where it's only good if you do these seven steps oh my god dude we are so on the same level can i call an expert you tell yourself off and then you going through the layers of his ghillie suit to get his phone i'm calling an expert bro are you what i'm three musketeers - On candy. - Okay, okay. - An expert on candy. we just throw a bag filler, call it a day, no? Bonham, a bag filler? Yeah, I think we do. Sure. And great job on the marketing. Oh, Pixie Sticks! Pixie Sticks! Hey, I got a question for you. Sorry, I'm doing the podcast. No, you're good. You're on the podcast right now? Yeah. Jeez. When evaluating candy, should we consider how it tastes if you were to put it in the freezer? What kind of candy are you talking about, though? Like Three Musketeers. Huh? Yeah. Oh, chocolate? Yeah. I guess so. We did that with Pop-Tarts. And, I don't know, you don't put you ever put chocolate in the fridge? I do all the time. Me too, man. It's pretty good in the fridge. Who's saying that they don't? Ludwig. Okay, well, he's rich. And he's under a lot of hot water right now, so because of what you said. Alright, buddy. Thanks for backing me up. I'll see you. I'll talk to you later. Alright. I might have to fucking give this one up. Uh, Pixie Stix? Pixie Stix! Pixie Stix are here! What is that about? Wait, it's this, right? Yeah! You guys ever had this shit? Does anyone want to trade? I have purple. Have you ever had it? I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade, I'll trade. Uh, purple? No, no, no, no, no, no. If you like purple, you're weird. Wait, I love purple. That's weird. No, I hate purple. Orange is definitely not my favorite. Blue's my favorite. It's everyone's favorite. Or red, but I will take orange. Wait, purple's my favorite. Purple's always the worst. What? I think I was confused about how you are meant to eat these. You just dump it, right? Dump it in your mouth. So you can do whatever you want. No, you take your time. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. Guys, you can take your time. What is this? Or, or you can pour it all in your mouth. I've never seen this child like enthusiasm. You can pour it all in your mouth at once and kind of go like. What I used to do is I would eat it with the paper. And you can eat it with the paper as well. That's the other way to eat the Pixie Stix. You just bite the whole thing. What? We're American kids, boy. You can eat the paper. Shut up, bitch! You can't eat the paper. What are you talking? Ludwig, you're eating the paper. Sometimes you can eat the paper, yeah. You don't have to swallow the paper. I'm not fucking with you. Yeah, and then you do that. That is so gross. I'm not kidding. It's the same thing as sunflower seeds. Anyway, uh, oh yeah, what you can also do is kind of like wet it and then kind of like bite it out like toothpaste or whatever. Guys, get rid of it. Get rid of it. Thanosnap. It's gone. Why? What the fuck do we need this for? I'm down to Thanosnap this. It's fun. It's a fun way to eat candy. It's a fun way to eat candy that's different. We've turned eating candy into work. Candy is all sugar. It's all the same. It's tortilla, cheese, meat, and vegetables. It's Mexican food. It's all the same. You just arrange the composition. Well, I think that's a actual brilliant argument. I think that this is just the cheese, man. They didn't put the tortilla or the meat or anything. They just took out one ingredient. Sometimes you want a quesadilla. Uh, uh, look. Sometimes you want one quesadilla. I've eaten a lot of these, Slom. I'm probably the only one here with you. But it's true that they just put sugar inside of a stick. Yeah. It's just sugar. But that's cool. With a little bit of citric acid. When we get to Fun Dip, I don't want to hear some goddamn shit. That's different. That's very different. Well, that's different! Fuck you. I'm Kratos. I'm with you that they're pathetic for looking at Fun Dip like it's a magical new adventure. It is. Are you fucking serious? No. You guys are pathetic. No. I'm gonna, I'll give it to you. I'm not pathetic. That the form of candy and how it implores you to eat it is part of the experience that we need to evaluate. You're pathetic. But I think there's more fun ways to eat sugar, man. It's a little, it's like, it's like a break. Like, can you speak up? You're fucking pathetic. I'm fucking, I'm a fucking head full of hair. I'm a fucking head full of hair. Whole of hair? And I like the candy I fucking like and I'm not pathetic. You're fucking pathetic, bro. I'm not. You're fucking crying right now. You better stop saying that. You're fucking crying on the show. Can we, can we put the candy in the fucking bag filler, dear? Okay, what do you say? Uh, I would still call it bag filler. And I saw a candy. Fine. I wouldn't snap it. Yeah, I'm so upset. I will give this. I don't think I'd snap it because I like its uniqueness. Yeah, I think it's fun, but like I absolutely, if it's in my bag, I'm not fucking like, no, no. If you're popping off for a pixie stick, bro. I'm popping off for a pixie stick. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a fucking serious damn question, okay? We're at Halloween. We're we have all of our bags were dumped out on the carpet in the living room. Are you pre or post bouncing on it? We're post bouncing on it. So we got a full set of those candy bars. The helmets are off. It's not trick or treating. It's bouncing on it. You guys are exhausted. Your helmets are exhausted from a day of bouncing. The helmets are off and we're doing, we're looking at our halls, okay? And we know equal amount, pretty, pretty comparable halls from the both of us. We bounce very equally. He's so good. And you, you on your side, you have comparable. Let's see. You have a full size Butterfingers. Okay. I have four pixie sticks. Fuck it. Make it 12. Yeah, it's got to be a lot. I've got eight pixie sticks and I say, slime, you want to trade the amount of pixie sticks you would need for that. It's like, it's like 20. How many pixie sticks? It'd be like 20. It'd be an absurd amount that he'd never have. I think it'd be 20 pixie sticks. And I think I have to think long and hard about that trade. Pixie sticks are the equivalent of pennies. And that is a big, a big thing to consider with your argument for how high pixie sticks should be. 20 of them for one Butterfinger? The smallest warrior. For a Butterfinger. The smallest warrior can still win the greatest of battles. That's so true. Fucking RT. And that's from. And David versus Goliath tells this story. And that's from God of War. Yeah, God of War. God of War. Sun Tzu, right? God of War. Fine. Put it in bag filler, but I'm not happy about this and I want the record to show it that we're, our friendship is all a little bit diminished with me. How about you get to choose where it is in bag filler? Uh, top. I love pixie sticks. Make you feel better, buddy? Yeah. Good job, Kratos. So, uh, no, we're just going to go to Orr now. What is this next one that's called Abba Yabba? Oh, this is the one we talked about on the show. So, we couldn't even find these. Abba Yabba? You're my only friend. So, I was hoping you guys had tried them. I've never seen this in my life. Have you had one? I've had Abba Yabba. It's hard to remember, though. Okay, maybe not worth doing then. But growing up, this was my older brother's favorite candy, so we always had it in the house. And I always thought, aesthetically, it's the coolest candy. I've never seen it. Is it coconut? No, it's, uh. No, it's, uh, peanut butter inside of taffy. It's really, it's a tooth destroyer for sure. It's crazy. It's, you know, this reminds me, have you guys ever had Charleston Chew? Yeah. I have not. Oh, fuck. I know it, obviously. Suck it from the back, dude. Charleston Chew is so good. Okay, yeah. Oh, my God. I couldn't tell for a second. It sucks, it feels like it's sucking you from the back? It feels like you're getting sucked from the back. Or you would suck from the back to get it. Yes. Probably column A, column B. Okay. Because old manhole feels like silk. Well, eww. He said old manhole feels like silk. This is where it goes too far. Dude, I feel like. That was a tweet that went viral. That was like a, I felt like I was under 4G. Hearing that, I had to, I just, I'm fucking If you guys haven't had it, I think we should skip it. Sure, we can skip it. You can put it back in the pile. But I was hoping we'd have it so we could, I could have you guys try this fucked up candy I grew up with. Did they just, did Babe Ruth just really get his own candy? Baby Ruth. Is that what that's from? Baby Ruth. I don't know. You can't have this one. Otani-san, are they calling it Otani-san now? Dude, the Otani-san candy. I don't know what a, what, wait, it's Baby Ruth? It's dry roasted peanuts, rich caramel and smooth milk. I thought these were called Babe Ruth bars. Uh, they're Baby Ruth. I think because of the candy I called Babe Ruth, Baby Ruth. I found it. Dude, I'm having like a Berenstain Bears moment. Aww. Give me that. I got it, Rich. I've never had one of these. Uh, I've had them. They're alright. They're candy. I think there's not a lot to say. I think there's better peanuts out there and that I enjoy peanuts when they're around, but. Dude, this is I'll give you Aiden's peanut addendum. So, when I grew up, I've been allergic to them, you know, my whole life. But when I was growing up, I actually have a really strong aversion to the taste and smell. So, even when I tasted it, it would immediately like poison the taste of whatever I was eating. Your body knew. It tasted horrendous to me. So, I've never understood like people's love for peanut butter and things like that, right? All peanut butter is So, you can scratch me off for like all these candies on the list. Sure. However, as I've gotten older, this aversion has gone away and I've started to just plow through and eat things with peanuts in them like like Pad Thai, for instance. However, recently I've discovered that as I've chosen to do this more often, it has terrible consequences. Like I What happens to you? I get like really really bad gut pain and diarrhea the next day. And if I eat like a couple peanuts, like that doesn't happen. But if I eat an entire meal with peanuts in it, like Pad Thai, I'm like, I'm out. Wait, so you saw Pad Thai knowing it had peanuts in it and just thought, I'll take this? Yeah, because sometimes it just tastes so good. I'm like, I'll take this. Have you ever had peanut butter jelly? And then I've connected the dots recently that this resulted in something very awful the next day. How do you just connect the dot like you knew you were allergic to peanuts? I thought, because I used to just get a stummy ache like a few hours after, but what I realized was that only happens because I never ate enough. Like I'd spit it out or like something like that, right? Now you're eating enough for it to truly hurt. And now I'm tanking entire meals and reconciling my actions. Have you ever had a peanut butter and jelly? No. Never. Do you try one and have a bad day? Yeah, that'd be kind of sick. You've never had a PB and J? No. He should try one. That is unbelievable. You need one. I think I could keep the crust on or off. Dude, it feels so bad. Just have a bite. It hurts so bad. Would you cut the crust or would you keep it on? I'm asking what he would pick. Everyone gets to pick their own PB and J. I'd keep the crust on. Okay. I love my boy. That's the default state of a PB and J. He also is a Yorubu and no European would cut the crust off. It's bread. Why would I waste the bread? You would get shot in the head. Okay, so you guys have to guide me on all of the peanut candy. I think Babe Ruth is candy. I have nothing more to say about it. It's either the top of bag filler or the bottom of candy. This is boring. Their Snickers are right there. Why are we doing this? I'm Donna. I don't think it's worse than a Milky way. Sure. A BUTTERFINGER, BITCH. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I love the Simpsons. Butterfingers. I will say, argument for the fridge, because butterfingers are probably the biggest culprit of melting of any fucking chocolate. When you open up a butterfinger that's been sitting in a room temperature room, it's like- It melts? It- dude, it- it like the- the chocolate like com- comes off the bone. It's like layered? Here's how I like to eat it. You eat the top? Dude, you- Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He just ate the top of a butterfinger. And then? You eat the next layer. He's eating it like a- like a- that burrito meme. He's eating it like a chicken wing. And then? You eat the rest. No. No, fuck that. What is that? You are ill. That was awesome. You are ill. Wait, you can't eat this one either. I know. Because it's peanut butter. Oh, you're pissing me out, bro. Oh. You're pissing me out. Crispity. And they have a good slogan, I wanna add. Crispity. Crunchity. Peanut- buttery. Is that a good slogan? No, it's really bad. Dude, they had a Simpsons collab. The Simpsons and Butterfinger were like- like hand-in-hand for identity. This is goaded. It's goaded. This is goaded. They made a crazy candy. And you'll never taste it. This is goaded. My new digestive system can tank it. No! Aiden! No! No! He's gonna throw up in the helmet. Oh my god. Wait. Yummy. Spit it out. Spit it out. Oh my god, spit it out. Oh god. Bad dog. That will kill you. Funniest things I've ever seen. Fell out. You had to fish it out of his ass? Yeah. Like a string. I would be dealing with a nightmare tomorrow if I let him eat that. Oh. It's the Butterfinger commercial, dude. Yeah, I'm finishing this. Wait, that's kinda awesome. This is what I grew up on. The Butterfinger meant the Simpsons. And we like the Simpsons, and we like candy. That makes so much sense that she's yellow. Yeah. Yeah, I've never seen this. I just know that I've, when I went to the movie theater, I would get the Butterfingers every time. They had like the Butterfinger bites. Ooh, yeah. Look at the packaging, everything. Butterfingers, goaded. It's goaded. It's goaded. It's goaded. I've heard this in my entire life, right? I've always heard how amazing Butterfingers are, and I just sit here like a schmuck. I just have to take people at their word. It's got like a crazy crunch to it, but it doesn't look like it'd have a crunch when you see the cross-section. Speaking of, we're moving on to crunch. Crunch bar. You're alphabetical on the list, by the way. I don't think that matters. In my head, um, crunch was called crunch bar. And I'm realizing now it's just called crunch. I think it used to be. Isn't it, it used to be a crunch bar? Can we look it up? Was it, was it a Berenstein? Is this Mandela effect? No, it was 100% crunch bar. So, crunch bars, what I've, this is what I've always liked, is that it says it on it. I love, no, I'm with you. What the fuck? No, no, no. No, don't let him laugh. Don't let him laugh. I like when the candy has an embossment on it. I like it too. This is like insane. What the fuck do you want? This is an insane autism expose, dude. It's just, it's just. It's insane. No, no, no. Where's candy, guys? I'm on the autism roller coaster. It's fucking making me lose my vibe. Yeah, you know what would be an awesome podcast? Uh, if we ate and then went, mm, B tier. Next. Sorry, we have a fucking opinion talking here. B tier next. Oh, this one? Mm, um, uh, Thanos now. That's a funny joke. Next. Mogul on candy. Uh, candy's pretty good, but it can be bad for you. Video over. You guys, look, you guys are getting really sensitive about this, so. Call me crazy. Crunch bar? Maybe it's cause I swam my entire life not being able to eat peanuts. I put this in not sharing. Oh my god. I like them. I like crunch bars a lot. I like them a lot. Yeah. I like, it's also American packaging. Why'd you say oh my god? Because I just, okay, let me say some nice things about the crunch bar first. I like. This is a writing workshop. I, we, that's how writing workshops work. You say what you like, and then you say what we should I wanna know what he likes, to be clear. Fucking tell my, tell my big furry ears what you like about it, man. You guys think you're so clever, and so funny. And you're not. That's the thing, that we all fucking can tell. We can all fucking tell you guys are just fucking losers, bro. Okay, anyway. Crunch bar, what I like about the crunch bar. I like when candy has multiple textures. I look for it. Hershey's, when we get to Hershey's you're gonna find out how I feel about candies that are one consistent texture, bro. I have a lot to say about Hershey's too, I'm with you. I have a lot to say about Hershey's. Crunch bar, the crunch bar did what the Hershey don't. And so that's a very, that's a, WHAT? Multiple textures, I like a lot of sensory activation. I like that it says the name on it. I feel like it says the name on it. It has like a rectangle on it. It's all very symmetrical, the wrapping. Look, if we needed, as a country, to make the most thorough candy tier list, you know who we'd hire? We'd hire autistic people. We'd hire me and Nick, bro. We'd hire the nuanced take-havers. We don't need to hire any more of them. We can see shit that you can only think that you know. It's a sixth sense. Literally, it's a sixth sense. You eat a candy bar and you go, "Hmm, calories, nutrition, I don't know, this is all there is to think." We think texture. Experience. You're wearing a sweater, you think that sweater is blue, but it's cerulean, and you don't know that cerulean was in the Crunch Bar fuckin' 2002 collection. And it ends up in a Walmart bin, and it ends up on your fuckin' chest, Dan Hathaway. I wanna hear what you like about the candy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Crunch bars, I appreciate their mixed texture. I think the chocolate part, it's like any chocolate, it's kinda mid. For that reason, I put it into candy, not into sharing. If someone's like, "Can I have some of your Crunch Bar?" I'm like, "It's not so good that I'm gatekeeping it from you, bro." I think it, depending on my mood, it's a not-share. It's a not-share, he's wrong on this. I'm okay to be wrong, but I wanna speak my truth. There's no way that if you have a Crunch Bar in your bag, and someone's like, "Let me trade you the Crunch Bar for the sweet tarts," you're like, "Yeah, sign me up." Yeah, I think, yeah. The fucked up thing, I take the trade. As long as it's not the mini bag. Also, Crunch Bars, more often than not, are in, like, it's one of the big candies. You can get a big Crunch Bar. It's available in big bar form. Not all the candies are big bar available. I think that's a good point. I'm fine with not sharing. I can take that. I probably wouldn't agree as hard, but I'll take it. Yeah, I'm fine with this. You know that, like, fucking deluxe bag you can get at Chocolates with, like, the Mr. Goodyear? Oh, Mr. Goodyear is so fucking good, dude. I would fuck Mr. Goodyear so crazy if he let me do it. Crunch, to me, Crunch is like the Mario, 'cause I think Crunch is in those bags, and Crunch is like the Mario, and then there's all the awesome side characters, but they never get the same love. No, they don't. They don't. Try finding a fully Mr. Goodyear. Oh, I wanna fuck you so goddamn good, Mr. Goodyear. Mr. Goodbar. Mr. Goodbar. There he is. Mr. Goodbar. There he is. Charles Goodyear. Oh, fuck it. Oh my god. Charles Goodyear. His hole like silk. Let me fucking make you quiver from the base. When you asked ChatGPT to make Abraham Lincoln. He developed Foganized rubber. Well, I think we think Goodyear, 'cause of the tires. Yeah, I did. It's Mr. Goodbar. It's really good. What was the bag? What else was in the fucking bag? Oh, there it is. There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one. Crackle. Crackle. Crackle is the Waluigi. No! No, the other one. Crackle, Crackle. Oh, Crackle. Red bar. The red bar. No, no, no. The one with all the little ones. Yeah. Yes. I remember. Dude, okay. This exact assortment, they came in like the mixed pack, and they would just get dumped in your bag on Halloween. Yes. So, this is essentially a Crunch bar. Apparently, it was a Hershey's bag. But yeah, they made Crackle, which was, to me, a Crunch bar. Oh, 'cause it's Nestle. Nestle has Crunch. Yeah. Hershey's has Crunch. Hershey's has Crackle, and Nestle also doesn't let you have water, 'cause it's not a human, right? Right. Yeah. All right. All of this tracks. God, Mr. Crackle is a good bar. Yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool with not sharing. That's fine. I would put lower, but it's okay. Um, and we're moving on to Dots. I have mine right here. Okay. Dots. I wanna start out with my first principle before you even taste. The box is either a game or an instrument. Dots passes the test. You can shake them. It's fun to shake, and it feels nice to shake, and when I'm walking around the street on Halloween, I'm doing this. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay? And this is part of the experience of Dots candy. Yes, yes, yes, yes. For the audio listeners. Um, I am your nurse. And wow. And then snipping hair. Slime famously said these aren't gummies. They're not. What are they? They're like gelatin. They're something else. Assorted gummy candy pieces. Okay, I'd like to first just point out that it says it on the box. It's just not gummies. I'd like to first point out that my box had the zero reds. That's very unlucky. Do you want a red? I would like a red if I can get one. I got a lot of yellows. Pretty bad. Do you want another one? No, I got it. I'm good. Here, you can have one of my greens. Um, I'm going red. Oh, that's chewy. Uh, so I I've always had a problem with candy. Oh, that's chewy. I had a problem with candies that stick in your teeth a lot. A gumdrop. Is gumdrop different from gummy? Yeah. I'm just saying. Joe Rogan trying to fucking figure out his research. It's just different. We have gummy bears here. There's a difference, and that difference is important to me, so kill yourself. But what I'm trying to say is that Dots Dots, like right now, I ate two. There's a piece on the back of my molar that I want. I don't know if I can get. I want it off. I think it'll be there into my thirties. And it pisses me off. However, I will say the only venue in which I like these candies are at the movies. I enjoy Dots at the movies because you can kind of slowly eat them. Interesting. And that feels good. It's nice. It's like cookie dough bites. I don't eat them in my life, but I eat them in the movies. I feel like this is a bygone candy from a bygone era. Sure. Designed for people in the fucking forties when they didn't have teeth. i think this is the gums to mash it world war ii ration candy yeah yeah this was in a fucking like care drop once in a while in normandy and they popped off but we don't get it you get a bunch of dots and like a roll-up poster of a nurse and it's it's you got you got it with a letter from your wife telling i appreciate that they come in a box can i say it i appreciate that it's not a bag i uh no i i i i understand but everything you're saying positive about it is the way the box sounds that's the best thing about it yeah no i think growing up is realizing the dots are a bad i'm arguing for bag filler i'm not i'm saying i don't think it should be thanos snap i want to snap it oh i'll go bag filler with you 100 i want to snap it don't be pussy don't be pussy i'm a hundred percent snap it to put it i will only bag filler this because of the movies that's it if that didn't exist i'm with you thank you thank you to cinema thank you to cinema thank you to nicole kidman and amc putting this next to candy corn just feels we're going to fun dip y'all oh oh well all right i'd like to ask it's apparently different i'd like to ask the room would anyone like to trade we all have the same one it's cherry it's cherry i want blue so bad i want blue so bad it's red so fun dip came in a fun package because it was you got two sticks which i think did these get smaller did they make the chalk sticks smaller inflation or are we just wait no these are smaller these are smaller these are smaller these are 100 smaller these are smaller these are smaller they used to say something on them didn't they no yes they did they used to fund it that's on god no that's on durian you guys are getting it's on durian that's on durian here so fun dip you lick the chalk stick which again i love chalky shit don't lick it too much don't lick it too much that's how that's why your dad got mad at you and then that's how you were born you dip it into here what does that mean and then you come out with a little bit of pixie dust yeah and then you keep going and that's how it works and then you get bored and then you just eat all the dust right away i'm getting my pot hair in my mouth okay i'm dipping i'm not a cherry guy i think cherry is the mario of a lot of flavors that i just never really interested i think it's strawberry no same this is cherry it's that ass the same shit you know what i'm saying cherry um this is this is liquor sticks yeah liquor stick do you want that bubble go i want that liquor stick it's in the song so what the fun part was to i never realized that it was to take it out like a fucking bump of coke and then try to snort it no no but then try to eat it all but you would you would basically be horizontal instead of vertical when you dip i love this i love this i'm not sharing it's certainly one person has taken coke with this stick and and just gummed it a little heinous imagine sharing a fun dip hey man you awesome yeah right asking the girl you like to share the fun dip with you that's a move that's a move that's gross that is a move and then you're like oh my god did you see fucking katie and trent they were fucking they were sharing a fun dip they were sharing a fun dip also i'd love a hand job for the first time if you're uh i'm into this so i started a website this weekend are you talking another one yeah it's our website i um i have a bunch of aid and stuff that i've just been like taking and like hiding from him and like taking the office and we just live together take it out of the garage but i've been selling his stuff really yeah yeah i've just been getting rid of it i don't and i don't give him any of the money high prices high prices extremely high i'm like way overcharging but i'm marketing it as aid and stuff unwashed we're talking yeah we're talking shut up my clothes no no but it was easy i know what you're saying like how did i even do that like it's so confusing squarespace i'm not concerned with how you made it squarespace is today's sponsor it's the all-in-one website platform do you know that and i'm using it to sell your stuff i don't want you to sell my stuff with a i don't care what the website you gotta shut up do you got his underwear oh i've got his underwear on there okay and you can buy it the underwear is actually low because it's just selling like hotcakes i got it demand and supply aid and it's a really simple concept of course it's low i only had five pairs i had a million hits on the website yesterday you know why because the website on squarespace gives you really easy to use seo tools and a ton of built-in features like photo galleries you can fundraise what about the nipple clamps no see i have a fundraiser open right now for the nipple clamps and if if people fundraise up enough money with the built-in tools on the website i'm going to give away the nipple clamps for free i bet you were wondering fundraiser tool for my nipple clamp you were wondering where they went because then they're looking real pink instead of red and the stuff the stuff that is yours aiden is not yours to decide where it goes or how it's sold uh so if you're out there right now and you want to help me out you can go to the website or you can use the website to create you know professional on-brand invoices online payments i've been using all those tools um very convenient so if you want to go to squarespace.com right now and use code the yard that's squarespace.com slash the yard you can save 10 off your first purchase of your own website or domain using code the art or you can go to my website that's um eight at uh that's aiden stuff dot um dog and you can just buy some of his stuff don't sit by your don't sell your friend stuff on squarespace don't do that sell normal things we're gonna make a million dollars off of aiden stuff go to squarespace.com slash the yard or aiden stuff.dog making a million dollars it's so few things it's and now let's just get back to the episode before he learns what i stole um yeah what do you guys think this is uh more than just candy this is an experience it's a candy for me because it's it's a slightly more engaging experience than the pixie stick it's like it does everything the pixie stick wants to do but better i agree with that you're just i'm gonna but it still sits in this weird category of i don't really want this to be the candy i eat i'm the god of war if i kill you i get green essence that heals me that's you probably get some meat too some wolf meat i could finish this i uh also i love the stick itself i do think it's fun and i think the stick is kind of yummy it is kind of yummy it might be honestly yummier to me than the sugar okay that's a little weird but i was afraid to admit this but now you've given me you've given me confidence when i was a kid sometimes i would just eat the stick but i ultimately think that's who's on your team yeah that's who's on your team you're saying some shit that will incriminate you what do i think i i think if i'm being honest to my child self i would do not sharing yes it was too valuable to share yes ludwig i mean it's not sharing for me it's kind of goaded oh it's goaded damn i love funded i thought you were saying that oh but you also thought he's just clowning on us for shitting on pixie sticks but okay so i mean we've negotiated not sharing i'm not sharing i'm not sharing i'll keep it there i think sharing is great all right gummy bears oh gummy bears we used to stack them like bills what do you mean how do you stack this you get 12 like this oh like that you got a money spread um gummy bears yeah gummy bears boys boys wow it's maybe it's different than dots and maybe there's a key difference that we should identify we've come to the great the true great candy for me this is instantly goaded i don't want to get rid of this instantly goaded aiden you love this because it's european look at him what he's a bear is it not european is it i think it is european it's swedish i don't know i don't know if it's swedish i'd like to specify because gummy bear gummy worm all these different types of gummy things even almost gummy octopus which i feel like is exclusively trolley we are eating haribo gummy bears gold bears that is a different that is a specific brand and they all taste very different yeah all the brands of gummy bears are very different and these ones might be the best i will say bro the bear looks fucked up they always look fucked up sometimes they come out weird the way you bite into it it has that slight little give but it's a little firm i like the firm would you call it gummy like dots are a gummy no it's they don't have to be the exact same it's like saying that you call butterfingers chocolate but milky ways aren't it's like they're different they got different ingredients but there's still candy bars there's still candy bars also has gum in the fucking name bro damn he's actually stunting on your ass i'm not being stunted on it's just a clear credo's crazy it's so crazy you guys call dots and gummy bears gummy because they're just so different and it's it's disgusting goaded goaded they're goaded it's my favorite it's one of my favorite candies i'm pushing the thing is they're like goaded because they're like this classic classic candy that you'll always like can stand by but like i'll definitely trade up for a knife like i don't care i think it's a red though huh it's a red yeah it's a red but it's like it's hard it's i think it's candy this is top of candy for me candy's not a red i know but like candy's a pink i think maybe it's just that gummy bears i don't know they're they're timeless they're timeless but timelessness doesn't and like the butterfinger is like oh my god i have a butterfinger at home let's just call it i have gummy let's call it let's call what's happening here i don't know what you mean by that let's call what's happening here the only reason aiden is putting it this high is because he is a yorubu he has a disease where he thinks his spirit is from europe and he needs to go back to his homeland yeah and haribo candies are littered around your it's like so popular oh my god to the point where they come from germany it's a nazi food no it's well it was made in the no it was made even better haribo is an acronym of his name hans when you watch dubs james i guess it's better than add heat candy okay i'll take candy but Like, yeah, this is all I wish I didn't know that you said goaded. We both said candy. And you said what? I also, unfortunately, I'm a bit affected by the Yoruba disease because I've been here many times and they had this candy. Yes. At the F4 race. It was like one of the candies available there because we all enjoy it. And without a shadow of a doubt, every time that I had the opportunity to grab one, I didn't. It's candy. He set you up. It's candy, man. The three candies we win. You've misled me. Top of candy. Give it to him. I will say that the Haribo, the soda flavored gummies, it's like they're little bottles of soda. Oh, my God. It's all time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. They're not the wax ones, right? No, no, no, no. They're just like gummies. They do these like Coke flavored candies in Europe and it's like the most popular flavor. And they're like kind of clear yellow on top and like Coke on the bottom. Yeah, it looks like a little bottle. So bomb. Those are goaded. Goaded. But regular. Find a picture of those and put them in. And goaded. All right. Next. Hershey's. Hershey's. Hershey's. Hershey's. Hershey's. What are the pronouns? Well, well, well. The default state of society. Milk chocolate. So something that's interesting about American chocolate, it's made with an ingredient that is not used in, for instance, Australia. And your Australian friends will try American chocolate and they'll be like, this tastes like throw up. And it's true. We are just very used to it, much like videos, movies being at 24 FPS, and they are not used to it. And their chocolate does not contain this. This is the, this is the candy with the biggest learning curve for an American child. I think that's how so it's you, you experience it and you're like, this is what chocolate is. And I taste it and I kind of like it. And then you get older, you travel and you see the world and you try actual chocolate and you realize that this really is a stinking pile of shit. I will say the wrappings also fucking ugly as shit. And it's like too soft. Thank you. I'd wait for that nuance. I appreciate it. Genuinely. For me, genuinely, genuinely, this is bag filler. It is the definition of bag filler. I wouldn't Thanos snap it because I think it's, it would do too much to the s'mores industry that I don't think would be good for it. That's, Oh, but it is the definition of bag filler, bro. What? Oh, I don't know what he's doing. Oh, that definitely hurt. He didn't want to admit it. Where did he just go? He saw, he saw a rabbit. So I think that Hershey's is like, it doesn't. I hear, here's the thing about chocolate. Chocolate is a big deal. Chocolate is hard to make, hard to get. It tastes so certain it, it, it, when you just say chocolate is bag filler, it feels to me, Haram, it's, it's Haram to say chocolate is bad, crazy for saying this, that like chocolate because this is really the nature of what it is, is decadent and candy. No matter what, it's a bastardization of the decadence. It's not. It's the default state of the decadence. It's taken away all of the divinity out of chocolate and spit it out. Well said. See, dad's gone. We can have nuance to this conversation. Oh, he's back. What is that about? He's got a feastable? Time to try it, liberal pussies. Time to fucking try it. You didn't put it on your tier list because you were scared of, of getting a little fucking controversial, but you put a Hershey's on there. Let's do it. Put your nuts where your fucking mouth is. My nuts in my mouth. Where it is. Put your nuts where your mouth is, bro. Let me ask you, is this the one that's been in the warehouse for two years? Yeah. Okay. So try it. How does it look? Try it like the cold ones. I would love if you tried it. I feel like the Mr. Beast promise is that there's no preservatives, right? So we probably can't eat it because there's no preservatives that keep us safe. Check the date. Oh, we're good. Oh, okay. February 26th. And it doesn't have preservatives? Wait, so you were afraid of how it looked and smelled, even though it's fine? Well, I was scared. I was scared, but based off the way you guys are speaking, yes. Is that peanuts? I'll just take a piece. There's almonds. This one just says Mr. Beast. That's cool. So we're comparing this to Hershey's? I mean, this is almond chocolate, so it's a little different to begin with. It's a little different, but yeah. But I've had enough Feastivals to confidently say that Feastivals, Bag Filler, Hershey's, Thanosnap. No, this is fine. This is good. My argument for chocolate. That's what I mean. It's Bag Filler. I was saying that chocolate itself. It's candy. Could never be Bag Filler. Because it essentially is chocolate. And it's like a very, it's in a way this like special milky thing, very decadent. I actually like this. If you put this in like a fucking, imagine this like sticking out of the top of a vanilla scoop of ice cream. Feastival is pretty good. My God. I've had a lot of these because they're always around the office. The texture's perfect. You can do chocolate poorly, no? Yeah. The question is, does Hershey's do chocolate poorly? Yes, I think famously. How do you feel about that? You were gone for the discussion. Oh, I would probably Bag Filler Hershey's. I like the s'mores argument. I was going to Thanos snap, but I think the s'mores argument was good. I'd have Bag Filler. All right. I'll take Bag Filler, but I philosophically don't agree with this. And Mr. Beast Almond? Candy. Mr. Beast Almond's candy. Mr. Beast Almond, I would throw, not sharing. I think it's better than Haribo. I think it's like a crunch to me. Do you think Mr. Beast Almond is on the same level? Yeah. No, I agree with you. I think it's on the same level as a crunch. I agree with you. What? It's as good as a crunch. And I think we have this 90s perspective, but I know cuties, nieces, and nephews, if there's a fucking Feastables in the bag. They fuck with that. They're not. It's not only are they not sharing. They're thinking about how they Louvre heist this. It's on Kid Purge. It's on KP. The kids don't know they're candy. So I would put it not sharing. But maybe this makes the woke mob come after me. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, you do look like a bit of a fucking shill, but I mean, we're tasting candy here, and I've. I've never talked shit on the Feastables because I eat them in the office sometimes, and I'm like, that's pretty good. I had to remove them from my house. What? Because you were eating so much? You were snacking? Because you were a fat little monster? You were a fat little monster, weren't you? Snarling. You were a snarling dwarf. I was eating them, yes, too much. Oinking for them? Were you oinking for the. Did you oink and they come out of a little box? I would just go for like. The box goes, oink, Ludwig. And you go, cutie. Cutie, where did you put them? Good boy. I would go for a bar every night. Every night? Oh my god. That's why you hit a stinky tooth. Pinky town population, you. So I stopped. This is clean. This is clean. I have a firm opinion about this. Kit Kats? And I know it's built. Hey, Ludwig Dess, I know you got some Kit Kat fucking takes, bro. Kit Kat, though. Oh. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Amazing marketing. This is my dad's favorite candy. Really? Yeah. Not sharing. Ironically built for sharing, but I'm putting in not sharing. That's such an Aiden thing. Take something built for sharing, keep it to himself. Right? Yep. He just spit out his candy to say that. He was excited. But I think he's right in this case. Another fun thing about Kit Kats, you'll notice there's a trend with me. No, I want to. You take it. You bite the top. Dude, you are a freak. I want you to know, I understand that we align a lot in this conversation. This is where I diverge. And then you bite the top. Is this a bit? Dude, what the f- You don't do that. I don't believe you do that. You don't do that. It's too thin to do that with. I promise I do. Dude, I- And the- Sometimes you nibble around the top to get the top wafer off in a clean bite. I wish I could have raised you as my own child. What? Zipper doesn't do that. I would take care of both of you. Is Zipper a fucking freak? I would take care of- I never called you a freak. I don't know if we should weigh this in because we haven't, you know, maybe this is against the spirit. Of what we've been doing so far. But I also love the flavors that Kit Kats come in. Like the, you know, the green tea one. You can get in Japan and stuff like that. This is what I hate about Kit Kats. There's so many good flavors of Kit Kats. And I like all of them. You're a Japanophile. Japanophile. Japanophile. I mean, you obviously are, but- No, I'm Chinese. You can't just switch. Okay, here. I have- I think, Aiden, it's worth bringing up, but I think we should take into account only a couple of these variations. That are available in the States. One of them being the white chocolate. What? Which, that one's pretty good too. Which I think is amazing. I think it's pretty good. White chocolate's one of the grossest things we've ever- I don't like white chocolate. White chocolate's disgusting. Let me take one shot. Do you know it's not chocolate? One opportunity. I don't care. What is it? It's just an amalgamation that's meant to, like, resemble chocolate, but it has no cocoa in it. Who cares? Cocoa kills kids. Cocoa is chocolate. And only I should be doing that. I'm team cocoa. Over? Like Conan O'Brien. Oh, Conan O'Brien. It's 2013, bro. Get the fucking times. They've already said, what was that? Yeah, I'm with him. I'm with him. What the fuck was that? Where the fuck were you putting Kit Kat? Not sharing. I don't think Kit Kat's that special. Not sharing. I think it's candy. It tastes so good. No, it's just candy. It's not, I'm not- Nobody fucking agrees with me, dude. I had a fucked up childhood where I couldn't eat peanuts, and nobody fucking agrees with me. I know, and I was living the life, eating the top of things and then the bottom of things. Stop fucking laughing at me, dude. This is like the bottom of candy for me. Me too. I think it's candy. Yeah. And I, and you know- But let the voting record show you're not sharing the shareable chocolate. Yeah, let the record show that you're a fucking sociopath. It has awesome marketing. Yeah, break me off a piece of that. Okay, okay. Uh, Laffy Taffy. Oh, boy. Girl, I love you. Why do all these rappers have fucking songs about candy? Because we all grow up eating it, and it's what brings us happiness. Um, Laffy Taffy's a little tough. Oh, I got banana. That's the one that, like, when you have banana flavoring out in the wild, you go, oh, that tastes- like a banana laugh Taffy yeah, and that's that's aura. I think that is aura it is Laffy Taffy is It's poison Yeah, what you know what I fucking hate about Laffy Taffy's is when you have to open it and the the wrappings just fucking And then when and then when you pull it off it keeps the shape listen listen the wrapping on it before you guys say fucking anything I want to say two things one in the games or Experimentation of this candy yes, you can do this thing, and you can make the Laffy Taffy a ball Eventually after you shrink it down like it like an airhead or two if you look at the back of the Laffy Taffy You'll see there's two jokes And so I'd like to tell you my jokes first one. What did they call the girl born at the beach? What fat bitch? Why would they call it? Guessing that was so big imagine. It said it a lot of each other sandy Right right, so maybe let's get to do that. It's like a one. Why did the farmer? Yell at the grape Because he was he was going slowly insane, and then he ended up blowing his head off with a shotgun in a field Close it was being unraisonable And that's good fun So now we open the candy and we see what's in store ooh bad open see that you can see some of the Laffy Taffy has Stuck to the plastic terrible. Oh, that's a bad experience all right. I'm trying my open oh The worst possible case I lost the corner, and now it's a nub this is not I can't even get to it No, I can't even do this. I don't know how they're still selling. Let's just say it. Let's say it We need this gone. We Thanos snap Laffy Taffy. It doesn't fly. It's not fun to eat. It sticks in your teeth It's fucking miserable the only thing I'll give it is a banana flavor I like that, but I will say interesting but it runs for my banana the reason why I'm gonna agree with Thanos snap the banana Flavoring in these Laffy Taffy's you can find in a million other candies if you want This flavor or that milk. It's dude. It's not look at this. This is inedible. This is edible I can't even get to it. I can't get to it the candy out of That's how I remember it it tastes like runts I can sign up for Thanos snap all right M&Ms default oh I got some shit the Hershey's of hard-shell chocolate shit to say pussy boy This is this is my best way to consume a Hershey's esque chocolate True, so that's why I would put it at the bottom of candy melts in your mouth not your eye M&Ms every day Every day, yeah, I am What I have a bag of M&M minis that cutie use for baking wait wait two M&M minis taste different than I said You're on a dime. I agree, but I M&Ms every day. I am on a diet, and I put like ten of the minis in my yogurt Oh, that's fine. Okay. Yeah, that's chill And then I have that M&M yogurt because I used to love the M&M yogurt, but my mom wouldn't let me get it He's just like shit. Can I get one he says like shit? So what I like this is how I It just all came out. It's just like why did I even specify it just all came out? So what I like it to do about M&Ms. Okay, taking it front teeth half it is Boom you get half an M&M. That's fine. You're to see the inside. Okay. I like doing that Then you just eat the other one. Do you guys ever have a white M&M? Yes, we know about how your cousin made you taste his butt. I'll make you one Make it. I thought you had to buy them. How do you make it? You had to prep it. You had to prep it. Bake them? It's a prep kitchen. Please break look at that shell off the top. That's a great break when you get the shell alone That's also a great break. This is sometimes you bite a little only a little bit right you go on. I'll do it No, I fucked it. I think these taste like actual shit, and I hate them actual shit I think they suck and then here you go the camera. Oh The lid comes off that's clean That's kind of cool, it's moving up That's fun. That's fun, but these are ass absolute bag filler if not thanosnap Yeah, I think I think M&Ms are a fun additive for a lot of things, but by themselves They're not as I wouldn't thanosnap because they're one of the best characters in candy Oh my god, they have amazing characters in that green one. My god But let me even have a taste. I want to shag the green one Yeah, whatever wants to shag the green one, but what is the point of this tier list to be who has the best marketing? That's infected my brain. It's part of it. I think it's interesting what I'm Realizing is how much candy marketing we all got injected into us Yeah, yeah, and how much that's it biasing and influencing our choices and half of that is breakfast cereal Like I still want cookie crisp. Yep, because you see crisp How can you have cookies for breakfast? Well with cookie crisp you can I think marketing notwithstanding. I think they're the marketing is awesome, but I still hate them that much default M&Ms are like a seriously like It's like the it's like you ask your customer If they like music you would thanosnap it and they say like, you know, we bag filler, please we bag filler thanosnap it Yeah, I would I would bag filler it. I'm bag filler. I'll negotiate. Now peanut M&Ms is a different story That's different I need you guys. I need you guys to do do the explaining for me because again I've never eaten one ever. I have but in my entire life. I hear this version of the conversation, which is I don't like M&Ms, but oh my god peanut M&Ms. What is it? What could be that different? Let me show you something I'm gonna take a bite of this peanut M&M, okay And then I'm gonna pull off the shell. How's it that wasn't a clean one everyone. That's how you eat That's how you eat it. You bite it in half and you have one that has just the peanut and the other that's just a chocolate Maybe it genuinely like there's a chemical reaction with peanuts and like the oils and the salt in it that makes the chocolate just tastes Better and that's why I like peanuts and chocolate because I hate fucking M&Ms and these shits are just They're perfect man. I think it's just because there's also less of what they're worse. This is how it's meant to be eaten Oh, that's beautiful. The worst part about an M&M is that like the filling right like the hard outside shell is pretty good Yeah, like a candy shell Yeah And so there's less of the filling because it's there's big-ass peanut and peanuts good I mean it's good and it's a you feel I think a little less guilty to maybe eating it I think this is goaded. I think I think it's goaded. Yeah. What? I think it's genuinely goaded. I'll go to the movie theater And I'll just get this So good. I know. You might be confused, right? What about Haribo? And KitKat. Oh, Haribo She's slacking balls in Egg of, egg of balls in Haribo Yeah, sorry. Yeah, what about it? Sorry, dude Nah, it is good. Dude, this whole tier list doesn't make any fucking sense to me. Guy who can't eat peanuts That's the only thing it's like you just don't eat peanuts I don't think it fucking sense. I'm really excited for the next one. I don't want to eat them, but they don't I'm gonna have a weird poop. Yeah, you'll have a hard poo. It's okay So those are goaded. I'm really excited for the next one nerds gummy clusters. This is a bit of a new thing Yeah, this is a new generation candy. This is actually the genuinely, genuinely most popular candy for the past couple years It tastes identical to nerds rope. It's just cut in pieces. Yeah, which is perfect. Am I a freak for saying this? The rope was inconvenient. I didn't want to carry a rope around. Nerds themselves are inconvenient. Yeah, and really I love I know we don't have nerds on here, but a little box of nerds That to me is goaded not sharing. And some 2025 lore there was a woman on Twitter who tweeted Who I can't I'm gonna paraphrase whoever invented nerds gummy clusters I owe you like the sloppiest top of all time and then the old man who invented nerds gummy clusters Who has like 200 followers or maybe less he finds the tweet and he's like guilty It was really funny. It was pretty awesome Uh, yeah, they did something really special with this candy. They took nerds. These are also not nerds themselves Like sort of bigger like the individual kernels if you will they made these a lot smaller surrounded in and gummy He gives a good satisfying push because we could satisfying give little crunchy little sweet to very sweet if you will That's what I'm saying. It's kind of I feel like it's the perfect non chocolate candy. I think it's an argument for the best candy outside of sour patch watermelon Yeah, the only thing I can say negatively about these is that these are in a category of Stomachache candy you eat these you have a stomachache. It happens every time Isn't that every candy? No This is a you thing That's not me I get crazy dummy aches from these This is a you thing I don't have it. Oh by the way on the note of eating chocolate every day Ludwig I remember when you remember Fendi and used to be pretty big Yeah I asked him when he like lost all that weight. I was like, how'd you lose all that weight? He's like honestly was counting my steps, but not eating chocolate I ate chocolate every day and I stopped eating chocolate and I just shed the pounds Are you like giving me advice? Yeah Right now I eat M&M's every day I don't eat M&M's every day I eat 10 in a fudge yogurt and a fudge a yogurt You can't say that What about Aiden? What it's called Ain't that what Tommy Vercetti wrote in Vice City? All right. These are amazing. I would consider them not sharing I would assume I would say not sharing too, but I would accept goaded if they feel it This is crazy If they feel goaded, I will accept it I think it's clear goaded It's clear. We're talking about the best candy on the market and you guys are like, ah, it's probably not sharing They hurt my tummy too much. It's the only reason Like can candy ever be goaded? Like what? We have multiple If it's not, my thought was when this one came up That's chocolate Cause it's not my personal, there's no childhood mystique attached to this one Yes Because it didn't exist when we were growing up, right? So I'm evaluating it purely based on its merit and it's goaded To me it's like the cosmic apple, like they took 18 years to develop this shit and then they came out with the best possible thing with modern tech What is the cosmic apple? I don't know Oh, it's a breed of apple they spent 18 years developing It's supposed to have the perfect level of crunch and crisp and sweetness Oh It's developed in a lot of different ways lab i think here cosmic brownies too same story yeah cosmic brownies no that was a drunk guy you know what he fucking snapped yeah uh i'm cool i'm cool goaded i'll give it goaded but i ty goes to the higher one anyway so it's actually not you guys giving it we take it and your pussies i think it's good he likes to change my mind he likes to do that all right i'll give it i'll give it no you won't we take it we take it i do have candies by the way that i would put a payday these i've never had this this is 1943 technology why is it flat you'll see peanut caramel bar oh i just got a text it's trump's rigging the 2026 midterms vote yes on prop 50 oh i just got a text this morning that said no vote no make your own decisions liberal what is so again guy who likes peanuts here a payday is peanut outside caramel inside i've never eaten one of these they're they're annoying crazy they hit in your teeth and they're annoying this they look like they're covered in peanuts this this looks like an aiden killer oh oh no oh no what no dude kill yourself i think they're good okay who made this probably mars hershey of course the to the to the goddamn chomos at hershey's what the hell man this has been around for years bro this chill out wait it's not like peanuts they don't snap 1932. oh interesting year got introduced in the united states well how are we sure am i controversial to say this shit rules no you're not controversial at all this tastes like vomit this shit is like what mrs b would make if she's making her homemade candy she just makes some caramel and then wrap it in peanuts can i weigh in it looks terrible take a bite man aesthetically a bite come on have a bad day it's definitely not like um you know using all the science that we have now to make candy but like the raw ingredients are good i hated that you would thanos tap it yeah do you not like peanuts i think that there are so no dude i put fucking two peanut candies and goated oh you actually don't eat it don't eat it oh i don't like it don't eat it it smells like vomit bro i i mean how does it smell it's caramel and peanuts it's crazy it smells like vomit i would totally put it in not sharing i would also put it there so when you guys are this is insane this is the biggest uh discrepancy we've had so far i think it's pretty fucking good i think what i should eat this and then you have to be in the room when i spend an hour trying to shit tomorrow and then if you still think it's good after that then we can put it i have to remind everyone we all get a one time i thought about my one time earlier but i feel like i forgot what there's a one time yeah remember when i put no he's always gone we do tier lists oh that's right he's always gone that's how there's a rule that's how curse jd ended up in jail you have a one time and you can force one into a category for like only every tier list you can do that you can do that you can do it or every choice we do yeah okay oh wow never done one so let me look at the rest i i think i won't use mine i'm fine with not even having one times because i think four one times makes a tier list very wrong right like that's data that's that's messy data you get your one time but it's my one time i feel like we all should get a one time i mean if i can use my one time uh what would i have done it on i mean i would have put pixie six and goaded right but then you guys would oh that would have been weird that would have been a horrible world you know so i don't want to mess with the data i don't want to do that payday can stay candy but i want the record to show right that we disagreed it's such bag filler you're a piece of shit i'm down for it to be candy and nick's a piece of shit all right all right pocky pocky this is pocky candy of course it is yeah it's not a meal it's not some other shit i mean what's some other shit um what's some other shit is my kratos white like a cupcake is it rubbing off like is a pop tart a candy is a pop tart a candy i don't think it feels like it's closer to pop tart than candy that's crazy i think pocky is it's nice it feels a little more sophisticated if i get pocky in my halloween bag i'm like oh you you fancy bitch yeah you fancy bitch it's like i expect this to be like in my maybe in my cappuccino i don't like about pocky it's hard to open the package without breaking one no you're just skill issue yeah it's a skill gap skill issue i'd put it in not sharing but in like the the spiritual sense i would share my bag because i would share this you're all broken yes what's wrong with actually just an animal that's a skill issue i didn't know i think they came broken look i didn't do that you're just a rhinoceros of a man i didn't do that you're a bit of an ogre they're all broken i didn't do this the fat ogre is sad at his own actions uh i'm down for not sharing oh can i be a dissenter really fast i think pocky's really mid i think it's candy we go top of candy oh bro not sharing at least i'm what the fuck you're talking about literally 50 50 on this great i think it's just not it's so nice it is nice pocky's just so nice pirouette let's be clear about that pirouettes are different what is a pirouette is a dessert it's pirouettes are the cylindrical tubes where the outside is a wafer the inside is chocolate you ever had that what about a milano that's made by the same company what are you talking about pirouettes these are those things do you ever have them shits oh i was making a pepper farm those are farm those are rich farm pirouettes did you mix that in a coffee oh yeah so this i think pocky's are like you know kind of the lame-ass version that's what i'm saying it's not even like pocky isn't even really a halloween candy no but whatever maybe milanos are i love milanos i don't like how they take them it's like the ghostly you can't eat just the top i mean you can but uh let's just all go around what are we saying oh are we not sharing not sharing uh i put it in bag filler i'll go candy but not sharing wins the the tie put it on the bottom this is just so the fucking the trash taste runoff won't fucking crucify us pop rocks were made for blow jobs and to put on top of things like ice cream and cupcakes have any of you actually done that no never wait is that a thing i've never bought a full job you ever heard about that no it just tastes the explosion on the back right wouldn't it hurt that's what i'm doing i just think i'm gonna do a nothing burger i think it would no it would be a nothing product of spain let me audio files oh wait can we all do it once we all do it once we all do it once i want to get in your get it in your damn mouth i love pop rocks dude they're so fun this is crazy dude this is insane this is crazy no one does it like them no it sounds like a grill you press them between the roof of your mouth and your tongue and then they're just like popping in this like weird minefield dude and you know what i like about pop rocks there's no parent company it's just pop rocks yeah they said they said fuck you dude fuck you viacom they said no they said no they said no they said no they said well these are made by zeta especial in spain product of spain pop rocks wow these are these are dope man processed with carbon dioxide what other candy can say that when you answer me these are crazy maybe maybe not that's so maybe not i think they're goaded man do they have goaded there's milk in these i love this shit goaded they're fucking goaded they're just awesome i do i do think they're awesome dude they're goaded i think it begs the question is like what do you want out of candy right because once you do that one time it's like okay i'm done now like i had my fun where's your whimsy but i'm not where is your whimsy what my whimsy died when i became a furry yeah it was ls dude imagine the ls candy tearless i don't know i don't really eat candy i don't know what he's gonna say ai what's the most popular candy by gross market sales it's an interesting question you know i'm saying this is goaded it's goaded here's why aiden because i i'm considering this as like if i walk into the office and on that big brown table in there one of these candies is just sitting there how excited am i about seeing that yeah but you would never casually eat pop rock right it's not about that it's not really about that it's like if i see it's not really about that right if if i see it on the table i'm racing to go put those in my mouth go get it and put it in our mouth let me ask you a question what's the last thing you put in your mouth let me ask you a question how do these work yeah that's right that's what i thought that's magic i have no idea sheep quiet every other candy you can explain how it works goaded pop rocks goaded because we can't even understand goaded goaded done you lose god aiden's tearless would be everything f and then haribo would be goaded reese's cups dude can i get a reese's are you fucking kidding me it's the best this is my childhood saddest candy because it's the it was one of the most popular things that would get given out but i just it was it was a blank it's tough wait so wait you didn't eat them right no i've never eaten one oh my god it just they're goaded did these get smaller too no did they go down in size no they're going they changed the wrapping so it's pathetic Now Reese's are goaded Reese's pieces are goaded. like every type of Reese's is fucking go to what yeah everything's go to I guess everything put it all in go to put it all in go to it's just like mama used to make bro they're so good it's like Butterfinger tier these are almost as good as Butterfingers Reese's cups are amazing they're not as good they're under Butterfingers but they are almost as good and what they do well is the chocolate is is not a it's not a main show it's a side character yeah the chocolate is taking a backseat to the star of the show it's thin it lets itself it lets itself add and it's greater than the sum of its parts there's also a thickness to the ridge and the bottom right and then the softness of the chocolate on the top and it adds this it adds an adventure of like and Nick not to not to not to sound two-faced here I've fridged this before I wanted to bring up the fridge because when you put these in the fridge they're insane when you fridge any chocolate candy that has a propensity to melt pretty easily because it has a propensity has a propensity to melt and you eat it you're like wow actually it it's almost better out of the fridge there's like a component it's like I why would I want to drink a coke that's warm I think three out of the box rather than a coke that's from the fridge over half our our go to tier list is just peanut butter I probably yeah that's what I'm learning peanut butter candies they're good they're good at it that's why I was so critical of payday I'm like how do you fuck that up I think that their ridge the ridge is probably the best part too the ridge on it just Aiden like gnawing around the ridge ridge for his pleasure it is crazy to think like not just Aiden but people who are allergic to peanuts like they just haven't they don't get to have a Reese's this actually is remarkably this is what Halloween was like for me I loved Halloween right but you would come home with a huge sack of candy and then literally half of it I would throw away or give to my dad because I couldn't eat it oh fucking Corwin cold cock Corwin I can't stop looking by the way at his white painted nipples they're so crazy why are just the nipples painted white no everything's painted white he's fully painted white he's white it was okay okay Reese's Pieces I mean what are we doing they're gonna go don't even need to try it I don't think I need to try it they're goaded as well I think Reese's Pieces are also goaded I think they're not sharing uh I think you guys are a bit excessive here dude they're just doing what peanut butter what peanut M&Ms do I guess they I think they're worse than peanut M&Ms you're right yes I think you're right you're right you're right I think it's an easy non-sharing we put at the top though because they just do what they do so well I yeah absolutely not go that's gonna be a controversial part of this list for people it's controversial it at all oh oh my god the Shack gummies really confused how these made it into a list as general as this like it's not like we're doing all sorts of awesome influencer stuff so are these bigger than I realize is it his head wait they're big I think he's got a Walmart dealer so why it's Shack yeah it's his whole ass and they're big cuz he's big you only have one flavor look at that I was eight in the morning and I was like I was eight inside what you say you guys let me know when it's one I can eat you can eat this one it's Shack his face check the basketball player it's not peanut at all all right hey hey sit sit sit I told you we should have wrapped it in cheese these smell terrible yeah I didn't either and there is a hole and you can do things with that now that I realize you couldn't before this smells like a chemical do this you know this all the texture is so gross the taste is so gross they don't they know snap get rid of it this is disgusting yeah it's horrible they're insanely horrible that's so bad I bought them the worst candy we've had so far great I'll put it in my empty nerds gummy did you eat it Eamon yeah hey you have to try a candy what'd you think Eamon it was fucking shit all right okay red skittles Wow I don't know guys I got some shit to say yeah this is what oh god I want this out of my fucking life what can you say about skittles this is gonna be a bit of a discussion what's what else can you take away from me oh you like these I like skittles how much do you like them how it's a bit what's the most you've ever lost on a coin flip you ever had a white skittle I don't really want to share them so skittles have a problem did you guys ever take an entire bag of skittles all eat it all at once and chew it into a big skittle ball yes I always regret it I always regret it but you keep doing it I did it with bubble tape at once too it was crazy oh bubble tape's crazy it was crazy it was crazy it was crazy and big league yeah big league's fucked so I think the problem with red skittles is that the other ones are always better like tropical if I see blue or purple packages I'm way more happier what the fuck are we talking about sour skittles sour skittles are awesome yeah golden candy I don't think they're good they basically just took skittles and made it better and arguably yes but I still think skittles are candy like they're good I would argue though that's true for basically all gummy bears as well and gummy worms for a lot maybe I'm weird every single normal skittle flavor is disgusting to me I don't know why yeah no wait so you're sitting here telling me it's thanos snap I don't I don't think you can thanos stab skittles I think that's such a mainstay because you're such because you're such a fucking cocksucker for their marketing and you love their rainbows no I don't even care about the rainbows I don't even care about homosexuals anything like that in fact I I have resentment toward homosexuals this is the wrong week thanos this is the wrong week for that thanos why kratos oh thanos why I think I think it's too irresponsible to take skittles out of you know existence but it's truly bag filler to me I think it's candy this is candy man I think it's the doctor they gave me some candy that's candy you know what I put in my car I never fucking touch it Aiden what do you say he's thinking I don't want to share them not sharing I don't want to share them you love skittles that much I love skittles are like I love skittles and I'm sick and tired of hiding it and I join Aiden I'm sick and tired it wasn't a choice to like skittles I join Aiden not sharing I join Aiden I'm not sharing why I'm not sharing you already just said it's candy I switched why do you switch I agree with you it's candy I switched I do feel a moral tremor from seeing this above got me bears dude there's no way it's better than a gummy bear there's just no way it's not but you whittled gummy bears down to something it isn't put skittles under gummy bear come on can we agree there Aiden change your vote Aiden please one one under gummy bear I'm changing it and I'm using my one time to move gummy bears to not sharing oh wow I I love that's a political move I love that that is that is a a combination move what a brave man he uses one time in a way to get two choices yeah that was actually a Yu-Gi-Oh turn that's very custom that was a Yu-Gi-Oh turn okay Snickers guys what are we talking about here with Snickers it's just it's Snickers marketing worked on me because one time I was hungry and I ate one really real shit wait because you weren't you I wasn't but then you were you you were you weren't hungry and what a crazy commercial uh I well there was a they were all saying it's like they took the vein out of Snickers oh can I show you guys how I eat Snickers okay so you open the Snickers okay turn vein towards your tongue lick vein and tip right there then put it in your asshole kiss the tip yeah freeze it put a condom on it fuck yourself oh well that's just crass why would I go that far that was are you being for real no oh oh my god I thought you were being for real I thought I thought genuinely because we've been so autistic about how we eat candy I was like sure I don't lick the vein then suck the tip and then eat the Snickers slime see it's why am I crazy sometimes he can't harsh stuff and it's it's a rare moment you can see how it's actually not that far from what he was doing before yeah it really is similar it's a lot more phallic uh Snickers are pretty good I think it's pretty good I think it's pretty good uh yeah I think it's candy I don't think it's not sharing I think it just I think it's better than all the other ones like it like it's over Milky Way it is the Mario of candy bars I don't think it's the Mario I think it's better than Skittles what's Mario I think Hershey's is Mario I don't know Hershey's is like Mario 1 Snickers is like Super Mario World I feel like Hershey's is like it's like Steamboat Willie to Mickey Mouse yeah right like it's it's so bare bones I think uh I think Snickers is candy yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like a candy bar and here's the crazy thing not to get all macronutrient on a candy tier list but a bear bell tastes dead ass the fucking same these days I think nougat protein bars have gotten eerily close to tasting like candy that's what I'm saying like like the protein bar tech has gone insane and like what the candy companies do is change literally nothing and just market it yes and it's but it's gone to the point where protein bars are tasting like fucking candy bars but they're able to do with five grams of alcohol sugar and 20 grams of protein what's the bar that has the guy's name on it that's really popular David David's are horrible they're horrible those are a scam whoa they uh tested a David bar it says it has 150 calories and 30 grams of protein it's 230 calories it only has 23 grams that's illegal that's illegal what the hell how the hell they do that where's the FDA on this one they're shut down right now oh awesome yay awesome I'm gonna kill you David um dude what more can you say it should be easy right it's just goaded can we can we unite for one moment i think we can i think this one is the one where we all set aside our differences it's a fucking sour patch kid it's our batch it's sour they're sour they're sweet do i need do need i say the rest if it's not goaded then what do we even have can i say one thing about I think these. Not to. Please, we were having a moment. Fucking jerk me off. I think they're goaded. Good. Okay. Good, man. I'm glad you said that. You know, I will say, I don't like, because recently the blue Sour Patch Kid has entered the main cast. I don't know if you guys noticed this. Yes, he's new. So he's new. I think he was only available in like other like fun types of Sour, but now he's in the main bag. But I'm noticing the fun size bag does not contain the blue cast member. Bitch. You just got Unluck. Wait. He's got Unluck. He's on the package. I thought it was green. No, it is green. He's on the package. You just got Unluck. Happens. He is on the package. That is Unlucky. Just kidding. Win, land, lose game. These are goaded. These are goaded. Easy, move on. Oh my God, yeah. They just remind me of being at the movies as well. This is, I would trade it for anything. I'd trade it for a head. No more head, but you get Sour Patch Kids instead? Yeah. That's beautiful, man. I think I might. As long as hand stuff is still very much on the table. I think I might do that. Talk to your girlfriend. Hey, I have a deal. Sorry, I made a deal with the devil today. I know no one is forcing this upon me, and I know there's no trade-off actually, but I've decided to give up. Anytime this would normally happen between us, I'll eat Sour Patch Kids instead. What are you at the top, man? Starburst is one of the most fucking annoying candy in the world, because you open the two pack, and you might just get two of the same bullshit cocksucker flavors. Snake eyes. Right there. Let's see what we got. I'm hoping for. Whoa! Look at this! Double orange twice? I think the dream is a red and pink. What's this table? Please, please, please, please, pink red. Double pink. Dude. Double pink's good. I got two in the pink. Hello. You want double pink? You want red pink? Guys, I'd like to trade one of my pinks. Here's the problem. With Starburst, default Starburst, again, the tropical flavors are way better. I don't like kind of any of their flavors. I think orange is bad. Lemon is bad. Starbucks? Pink is bad. Starbucks. These are mid as hell. Can anyone take the Starburst wrapper off the Starburst just in their mouth? I can do it. I did it once. It's hard. I did it once, too. Yeah, I learned it from Drake on Drake and Josh. Is it like a kissing thing? Yeah. Yeah, he does it with a cherry stem. It's really hard. Well, you can't do it with your teeth. It's really good on there. Oh, these are so mid. Yeah, dude. They suck. Wait. Oh. It is the most bag filler of all time. Aiden's getting upset. Here we go. I think Starburst for bag filler. Oh. Oh, what is it? No, I thought it. Oh, the peanut man? Oh, the peanut man likes the Starburst? Oh, the peanut man who can't have the best candies in the world wants to have an opinion. No, it's probably bag filler. Yeah, it's bag filler. I used to love these, though. Yeah, as a kid, we liked them a lot, right? I like them. I like them. I bought these recently. As a kid. Once again, this is the tropical kind. Really good. What context? Like a stick of Starburst? Yeah. Like a big one? We were out. Just a. Yeah, a stick at like a movie or like an outing or something. You said, "I'm going to eat these on my way walking around today." A few weeks ago and I was like, "You know what, I'm going to have a nice day." Yeah, I worked my way through. Oh, it was on the ferry to Catalina Island, I think, and I just bought a pack of Starbursts. That's weird. Oh, guys, we're at one of my childhood favorites. This one's fucking crazy. Sugar Daddy. Dude, I'm going to throw up so hard after this. It's like real Halloween. Ew, what the fuck is this? Sugar Daddy. It's a crazy candy. You've never had a Sugar Daddy? I don't think so. Dude. I've never had this. These are dope, if I remember them. Had these not. Did these used to be pops or were they just normal? This is gross. Hey. Oh. Yeah. I'm getting so much wrapper. This doesn't look. The wrapper thing has always been an issue. It's not new. Yeah, they just never sold it. They just never sold it. Oh, mine came off. You can actually finesse it. Oh, good. Okay, I kind of hate this. I kind of hate this. You hate it? I mean, like, there's paper on my product. I got it. Okay. There's paper and there's white Kratos paper. Just got to keep working at it. I love these. This is. Did you just say "aww" to the thing you so love? I can cleanly come out and say I'd Thanosnap this for nothing. I'd get rid of it. Forever. I didn't know it existed until right now, and I'd happily get rid of it forever. This piece can't be chewed through. This is a different type of piece. This is like a different material. Dude, you got a bone! I think this is a bone. You got a fish bone! I can't chew it. Dude, this is one of the worst things I've ever put in my mouth. Probably. Probably this. I've sucked myself. I would rather suck myself off. This sucks. This sucks so bad. I like this. But I'll respect whatever you guys vote, because I'm outnumbered. Okay, we vote Thanosnap. Thanosnap. Thanosnap. Jesus Christ. I can't ever have one again. That's crazy. This is my last one. That's crazy. If you want to use your one time. You want to use. Yeah. He's saying "nope" and just stuck it on it. I like it. Swedish fish. Swedish fishen! Svensk fisk. Thanosnap. Thanosnap. Thanosnap. I love Swedish fish. I love Swedish fish. Swedish fish was my favorite candy growing up because I was Swedish and I was like, "That's so cool." And then I found out it's Canadian. Wow. Wow. So it's really hitting everything for me. Yeah, that is crazy. But I used to love them and I would eat them by just folding them in half. You could literally never forget the taste. Don't even need to have them right now. Thanosnap or bag filler, max. You're not allowed to say Thanosnap, you don't even try it. On Swedish fish? I love Swedish fish, man. They're boring. I was going to go. I know exactly what it tastes like. I've had a million growing up. I would go. I would have to try one. You know what? They've gotten softer over the years. I'd go top of bag filler. Swedish fish has always been soft. It's the softest of the gummy. Maybe I've only eaten stale ones. I'd go top of bag filler on this. I think it's candy. I think I'm firmly candy. I think calling it bag filler is actually offensive. I'll go bottom candy with you. I think you are an absolute fucking coward if you say bag filler for this. Go bag filler. Go bag filler. This is candy as candy gets. As candy as candy gets. I think you're. I think you're right, and. I hate a green one. I hate the texture. The flavor is whatever. Like, you're. You're looking at this. Now, they made sour Swedish fish? Oh! That would hit fucking crazy. Bitch! I think you're getting. I think we've been doing this for a while. You're getting candy exhaustion. But this is not on the same tier as Dots. It's just not arguable. You're right. I'm trying to stay. I'm trying to stay fresh. Yes. Because I'm getting exhausted. But I. I'm being honest with myself. It's a fun shape. This is what everybody loves, and it also says "Swedish" on it. Okay, before you guys were fucking creaming because it says "Crunch of the Crunch Bar." Now you're ignoring that it says "Swedish" on the fish. And you're like, "I don't even have to try it. It's ass." Like, what are we talking about here? You've fucking given up on this experiment. This shit's candy. I love the passion. I just do. I just love the passion. You. He said you were a coward because you didn't eat the fish. I just ate it. I'm sorry. I did. I'm sorry. Anyway. And you want to emigrate here. I'm fucking sorry. They're shooting the fucking skull for saying that. And I. Look, I just don't think they taste that good. That's really all it is. I hate. I'm a red hater. Anything that's red, cherry-ish, strawberry-ish. Yeah. I usually don't like. I think red is awesome. Swedish fish, I like the red. And that's hard for me to get. That's hard for me to do. And he doesn't usually like the red. I don't usually like the red. But he likes this one. And you can mold it to look like a penis. Oh. That looks really funny. Oh, that looks good. Wait, I didn't know about that. Damn. Goated, maybe? That looks like penis. And then this is how I eat them. Wait, so candy. Okay, I'm cool with candy. I think that's fair. Candy! Yay! I think that's fair. All right, Tootsie Rolls. Can we. Can we. Can we Thanosnap and move on, bro? Thanosnap. Thanosnap. Whoa. Okay. I'll also say Thanosnap, and I want to hear you out, but let me. Yeah, I want to hear your defense. Let me just say an addendum. The vanilla or the flavored Tootsie Rolls. Different story. Different story. Different story. The orange Tootsie Roll. Oh, bitch. It's a very, very. I think these are bag fillers. I think these are literally the quintessential bag filler. I think these are the quintessential bag filler, which is actually why I want to Thanosnap them. Because I never want them. But here's the thing. You Thanosnap the Tootsie Roll, and then the next thing that becomes a bag filler will be a greater evil than the Tootsie Roll. Tootsie Rolls and. The Tootsie Roll is that meme of the fucking soldier right here, and then we're at home sleeping kindly and softly, and then the bag full is shackalicious. You're saying that instead of my bag being filled with candy corn, Tootsie Roll is actually taking its spot and has an important role to play. Yes. Yes. And it's ultimately not that bad. I mean, it's not like. It's not great. I agree with you. Dude, I don't know, man. If someone were to say, "Do you want a candy corn or a Tootsie Roll?" I'd be like, "Probably a candy corn, I guess." Really? I hate Tootsie Roll. By the way, I'm the only brave Mujuddin who actually tried it. No, I'll eat it. Dude. I'm just saying. Actually. My girlfriend said. I said, "Do you like candy corn for science?" She said, "It's one of my favorite candies ever." I told you, girls like candy corn. It's in their fucking blood. That's crazy. It's just. And they fucking phones. I'm gonna go with bag filler. And if you guys want to outvote me, you can. I think you made a good argument. You convinced me. This is like shit. This sucks. This tastes like a protein bar. No. He hates protein bars. I love protein bars. I don't think it tastes like a protein bar. I think it tastes like butthole. This is bad, man. I'll go bag filler. At the bottom, though. The very bottom. You cool with that? Fine. I'm cool with that. Okay. Back on the. This is that 1920s shit. Tootsie Pop. This is that Coney Island shit. I don't have one. That is. Tootsie Pop and I got blue. Weird enough, weird enough, the Tootsie Pop, the Tootsie Roll that exists inside the center of a Tootsie Pop is way more palatable than the Tootsie Roll inside of a Tootsie Roll. 100%. How many licks does it take to get to the. Did you ever do that as a kid? A one. A two. It's so hard. I did it at lunchtime. How many licks? It was like 200 something. I know this girl. Her name was Jessica in school. She said she knew, but I knew she was lying. Dude, it is not 200 licks. I don't remember. I was like middle school. I don't remember. But I did it at lunch with my friends. When the owl did it in the commercial. It only took him four days because he couldn't wait. Yeah, I will say mine was already open Did the to the hole oh you it's funny to have the the Tootsie Pop that is already Tootsie Pop flavored The brown one I get the brown one Either way, I think like that. It's a game. I think they're fun, but again. It's like I don't like Tootsie Roll So fuck what's my prize the worst candy ever? No, but it tastes better Emerges from the can it is good, and I yeah, I think these are I it's funny cuz they're not not sharing actually, dude No, they're not sharing no because if there's one on the table out there, and it's a flavor I like I might be like that's my tootsie pop a son of a bitch who actually has the balls to say what he fuckin thing I'm saying what some what I'm thinking These Tootsie Pops are pretty fucking good pretty good I know these guys are gonna try to push a candy vote on us, but I'm telling we filibuster them I don't know if there's a single sucker on the planet that Is above candy what about you to what to true? What's that? I never heard that to troops the biggest lollipop in Europe. They have the code flavored. They just physically big no No, it's just like the most popular. I don't know it. I think a bank lolly hits pretty hard sometimes There's never been a more candy like a cell phones are pretty far at the bank. Yeah, is this not the best? Lollipop we have in the states want me to don't know shit next to gum those clear titles dumb dumb also caramel apple pops No, no, no, no too much. No karma is great When you're in ten years old in fourth grade, you're fucking ten-year-old fucker You're putting your whole penis on it that you think the tootsie roll pop is better than a caramel apple pop and a dumb-dumb all Fucking I put my whole dick on that penis. Yeah, all 70 I said on a deer and I usually don't area dude. That's fucked I think I think tootsie pops. I think specifically blue tootsie pop is the best we have to offer for American lollipops. I Like the chocolate one really, you know, I like that was just let's commit. What we doing. It's let's do a thing He doesn't get it. Also. I like the chocolate axe growing up I Think chupa-chups are go did and I would put these not sharing and not sharing not sharing dude That is fucked up eight and save me. You're both going. I'm going lower I'm going candy can't rank but we win we lose by the rules that we've made and we have a one-time Oh, I have a one-time one-time this to a counter center cancel your one-time Dude, he's gonna counter one time people who trap card one times like that. It doesn't matter It's just if I use it, you can save yours. Actually, it should be double-blind RPS and then the person who loses loses their one-time Well, then you would be one-timing for the lower. Yeah, I want a one-time tootsie rolls to be in candy well, okay situation because if I one-time then it just goes to the one time and then it goes to the higher tier by the rules That's fair. Wait, wait, wait One times have cancelled each other out and then you're just going by the whatever the standard would be which is that it's not sharing Which how am I missing this? I don't go because the tie goes to the higher category. I would be a tire an RPS We're not doing RPS. I'm saying I use my one time Oh, I thought I was saying one time should be decided about if we both do it It should be decided by RPS. It just should cancel it out because I don't want to gamble. I Don't have to gamble this. I don't know. He's growing. He's growing as an adult. I like to see pops a lot All right You can put it there man, but I think it's fucked up It is fucked up I don't think it's fucking run around. You put pixie six in bag filler Yeah, we all agreed man. I don't care. All right My wigs my sweet baby as a boy who could not eat the peanut chocolates This is my absolute favorite. I got right Yeah, Twix is one of the worst fucking left You got left to you I got left for two left Left left left, right? Okay. Well, you don't have a twin statistically that doesn't work. It's like we are our politics Break me off a piece of that Twix bar. I think Twix kind of sucks. What's Twix? It's been one of my least favorite kick chocolate bars Need a moment, right? Yeah need a moment grab a Twix need a moment. I don't remember. Let's grab a Twix. This is awesome I put this in not sharing easy. It's not even It's not even question. It's an easy not sharing for me Yeah, one of the dopest names of a candy It's above crunch easily It has because it has like a hard Yeah, you're great. It was like a hard crunch as the car works. They're right pit Twix pisses me off I think I'm just a caramel hater. There's also a fridge candy. I Think it's without a doubt not sure I could even see a goat argument occurring for this. I'm gonna throw up. Oh, I know I'm with I'm gonna throw up I would like it to be an extra crunch, but I could see you making that arguments Oh, I would like it to be above almond joy, bro Yeah, I'm above almond joy. I'm going back on almond joy like that. I'm not that picky about this No, I think they're both electric. Dude Twix is good man. Twix sucks and I'll stand by that Twizzlers! I hate Twizzlers. Why? Because red vines are right there. Red vines are the inferior Twizzlers. No they're not bro. Uh oh. Uh oh. Thanos snap. Yes, bro What? Yes. Get out. What does he think? We get rid of them forever and we just have to we have red vines forever I thought you said you hate things that are red. I do usually but when things are red that I like they hold a special place in my heart They went too sweet with it. So you're just saying I think things that are red are bad or good I usually just don't like red flavoring. They just went too sweet with it. Twizzlers? Okay, I think I have a Pavlovian response to Twizzlers. How does this contain wheat? Don't worry about that, sweetie. Don't worry about that I think I Pavlovian response because in school I I think I had teachers that would give these out if for like if you're a good good answers and I just I it created a response to that and I like them. So now you have positive feelings. Yeah, I just like Twizzlers I will say this The Twizzlers black licorice Am I crazy? You're 35. I hate black licorice. Dude, 35 moment. Black licorice hits. You would love Germany And maybe I would. Most of Germany's chocolates or candies are just black licorice salted black licorice candies I want to snap these. Duh. I want to snap these. So bad. I think snapping is fucked up. I put them in candy but we don't have to snap them You don't have to snap them. I think it's fucked up. They are terrible candy. I think snapping these is fucked up. You don't have to snap them Because I'm also putting these because I these in red vines. I'm cool with. This is not shackalicious, bro I don't pick a warrior in the Denny's IHOP battle. I can see, you know, I like them both I don't pick a warrior in the Red Vines Twizzlers. I like both here. Sure. And I think Twizzlers to me is like It's a much better bag filler than Tootsie Roll. Oh my god. I want to one-time these so bad. I hate them Yeah, but we wanted to snap Tootsie Rolls too. Do it. Do it out of the hate in your heart because I did mine out of love. I'm going bag filler and so I think it should Go bag filler. What are you? That you're snapping? He snapped. I wanted to snap candy so it would end up in bag filler Well, we don't have a lot left. It's just whoppers, right? I'm one-timing this into into Thanos snap I want them out of the world. Not Twizzlers, bro. I want them out of the fucking world I like how brave you are. I appreciate how brave you are to be able to make the decisions that other people are too weak to make Come on. I'm one-timing. Twizzlers into Thanos snap. Do I put them at the top if you want? I don't care. I hate these. Not Thanos slap. I fucking Don't matter if you're at the top of the Thanos snap, bro. Be brave. Thanos mushroom tip. Alright, whoppers. Weird. Weird. A malt candy I Malt is like a, it's like a whole, you either like it or you don't. Yes, I've gotten shit for this all my life. Love whoppers I don't know what malt is. Dude, you are just Kill yourself! You were there when they made it, bro. I wasn't there when I made it. I'm 35 It's just like you're sitting here going. What, do you not like whoppers? I love black licorice and malt candy Malt candy Yeah, I love getting diseases I hate how whoppers feel when you chew them. I like it. It's like not chalk. It's that, it's that distinct malt experience It's basically, uh, what do you call it? It's like pop rocks, but for Dude, I hate it so much For dudes You hate whoppers? I hate it Really? It's one of the worst things I've put in my mouth and I've done it a dozen times I'm so surprised I can't open mine They're just not good, man Look, I have one of yours Actually, you know what's so funny? I almost didn't try them And they taste so much worse than I remember Yeah, they're ass I love them You'd always find one of these at the bottom of your Halloween bag, not in a wrapper Yeah Like, how the fuck did it get out? Sometimes it gets out And I'm snapping this I'm snapping this shit Send it I'm goaded I'm goaded? Yeah I love whoppers You are being facetious No You are going further on the right, so the center is closer to the right I'm gonna make this easy for you I'm also snapping There we go I feel really I feel sad right now Because Zipper, try to move it to where we said I've really Zipper likes whoppers too, dude Why does Zipper like whoppers? Because they're good I love them so much Actually I just want to make it clear I'm not being facetious I love them Hold on I'm thinking about this Shut the fuck up Dude, we just had a fucking agreement No, but I think I've made a mistake No, milkshake's fine Because I'm just looking at the five candies I've placed this next to Seems a little weird, right? And I've realized that I've put it at the bottom of bag filler I really would Because the five next to it, I hate so much more than whoppers Right Even though it tastes terrible It would be crazy to Thanosnap something that's good Lud, can we sidebar? I would eat a hundred whoppers before one piece of candy corn So what does that equal? Does that go to bag filler then? Yeah, I would say I want time shooting the fucking head Not one time Shoot the fucking head Shoot the fucking skull Dude, I can't Not one time Not one time Put it down like a dog Can you double tap one time whoppers? Like it's Courage JD Boom, boom, boom That is crazy One time I put it down like a fucking dog. Can we put Karish J.D. in this one? And by the way, I one time it all the way to the bottom. Can we? Dude, I am so- Yeah, he gets to say that. I'm blown away. It's a little fucked up, Ludwig. I want to bury it. Why do you hate them so much? You just hate it. I genuinely hate every part about it, from the taste to the way it feels in my mouth. Before you put it all the way bottom, can I just say that when people see that Whoppers are the very last one, they're going to worry about the integrity of our whole list. Don't care. They're going to think that we're super biased. Boom, boom, boom! All right. Keith Purge! You can do whatever he wants. Is it where you heard the man? Where would you guys put Karish J.D. on this? I put him not sharing. He's running a marathon this weekend. Dude, he got so fit. He does look very fit. It's hard to do that. Uh-oh, surprise candy! Surprise candy! The very bottom. Surprise candy. Yeah, that's what he said. That's what he one-timed for. A joyride? What's this? Dude, these are boss. Are these the- Bring my boss. Are these these- Dude, they're so good. They look terrible. They do look terrible. Okay, so I haven't had strips, but I've had the joyride, like- Like ginger. The ones that are like Sour Patch Kids? Yeah. They were comparably good to Sour Patch Kids. Yeah. So joyride is Ryan Trahan's candy. The YouTuber. I think it's- Oh, the pedophile? I think it's hard to go wrong with sour, like this type- Like Airheads, or sorry, no. What is this flavor? Strawberry lemonade. Okay. Or pink lemonade. I don't know. So I'm 100% certain if this was a flavor that I liked, this would be awesome, because it's like the perfect type of sour. It's a great consistency, but I hate this flavor. The flavor is a little weird. It tastes like Windex. But I like it. It's weird, but in a good way for me. Nick doesn't like it. I like this. I've had joyride, like, at its peak, I feel like, with like the Sour Patch Kid type of stuff, and that was like, that was honestly- I mean, the thing is- Dare I say, not sharing or goaded. I grabbed what we had. And most of what we have for joyride has been robbed. Been robbed. Been eaten already, yeah. It's been like devoured. I haven't, and you know, I like to steal from the office. I haven't sold any of these, but I have had it, and it's pretty good. I think it's godlike. I think it's my favorite candy right now. Not sharing. I put this goaded. I think what I do like about this flavor is that it is, like, he's nailing the low sugar thing. Like, it's just not overwhelming. It's not the best tasting candy I've ever had. I don't know if I've ever tasted, but it's light, and that's the intention, and it's kind of like cocky, where, like, I'm not eating this for a euphoric experience. Wait, what? Can we put the death penalty back in, and then just put him in it? No. Why? Because Ludwig's finally on a Tearless episode, so he has to veil me, and I use my one time. Oh, right, because he's never been here when we made that choice. Oh my god. Yeah, we can really quick do these, because we talked about them. The Haribo gummy colas, I think they're goaded. Yeah, where is George? Where does Joyride go? I want to put it in goaded. What'd you say? Joyride. I don't know. You want to put it in goaded? I'll go not sharing. Not sharing. I would go not sharing as well. Not sharing. I'm down to lose that. We, the Feastables, you guys said, I thought this was a bag filler, but you guys all said not sharing. I said not sharing. Not sharing, I'll take it. I think that's fine. It's pretty good. I've got to put a bottom of not sharing. It's the Feastables almond, right? It's pretty good chocolate. I like the peanut butter one. It's just such good sour. It's so good. It's a great sour. I know. A normal Jolly Ranchers, I would put as candy. Candy, yeah. M&M minis? That's for you, kiddo. That's just M&M. I eat it with yogurt. I mean, you eat them every day. These are the old regular. You eat a lot of them. We don't have to rank that. And then bottle caps, this is my all-time goader. It's my all-time goader to candy. That's crazy. If you guys, like. Are you one-timing? I don't have it. You already used your one-time. But I'm just telling you it's my all-time goader. Oh, I hear you. Bag filler. I'd go candy on bottle caps. I think bottle caps are a candy that I see and I'm like, oh, I want one. And then I have one and I go, I don't know why I wanted one so bad. You know, it never lives up to how much I want one. But isn't that a candy? No. No. Like, give me some Shockers. It's a bag filler? One of my favorite candies. All right. Well, either candy or bag filler. Pick. I'm going to say. Pick Damon. Candy. All right, candy wins. Okay, sour Skittles. We have to determine, are these better or worse than Sour Patch Kids? I think they're slightly worse. Way worse. I think they do too much damage to your mouth. They're inarguably worse. They do do damage. I would put them in not sharing even. I don't think they're goaded. Yeah, 100%. I'd put them in candy. Dude, sour. Oh, I'd go not sharing then. Okay, not sharing then. Jesus. I feel like I got it alive there. I don't really like. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. That was crazy. And then I guess you could put. Wait, Ring Pop. We didn't. We didn't do them because we don't have them. I don't like Ring Pops. Oh, we don't have them? That's what I thought we'd do. I don't fuck with Ring Pops. I'll just give you one. I don't like him, man. Or you can love me one too because he's been trying everything. Oh, my God. Twisted Berry Blast? Wait, mine's Mystery Flavor. I'm going to throw up so bad. Oh, it's blue. Oh, it's just like old Halloween. I have to poop too. I might do both. I'm going to shit awesome. You're going to make such a crazy combo. So, Ring Pops, I really admire what they were doing. I feel like they made the ring size for kids only. I think you have clunky, chunky fingers. Wait, you got a good flavor. Mine's green. I feel like my favorite rules. I can't open packaging. Dude, mine tastes so like. This tastes terrible. That's the vintage Ring Pop flavor. This tastes really terrible. Mine tastes like. This tastes really bad. Who's the popular yogurt company with the. Yoplait. Yeah, it tastes like Yoplait yogurt. Mine's cloudy like my piss. Yeah, yes. A cloudy piss to drink a lot of coffee. Yeah, I mean. Outside of the fun factor of it being on a ring, which, by the way, it's kind of shoddily done. Like, it's a bit melted around the bottom of the ring. I'd like to say a couple of things. One, the ring no longer fits me as an adult. Which is sad. That's sad. That's sad. It makes me feel like old and like I'm not who I once was. Yep. And it's a harrowing sense inside my body. Two, it doesn't taste very good. I'm actually very surprised. Also, as a kid, I remember you'd eat these and then the juice of your spit and the sugar would all get all over your finger. Ew. I think that these. God, I don't want to snap them. You don't want to snap them because if you're afraid to lose your childhood, but we should snap things from our childhood if they suck. It's a snap. If they suck. You are a fucking coward because you are hiding behind nostalgia as opposed to genuine vision. No, guys, let's snap them. I want to snap them. I think it's the right thing to do. And we actually have to put one more. One more? We have to put the slime killers. I chew. Oh! Why are they slime killers? Because, remember, I had my. I had a permanent retainer in my mouth in the old house and I chewed one of these and it fucking broke it out of my mouth. I don't remember. And now I don't have it anymore. It literally pulled out the retainer from his back molar that was glued in there. It was crazy. Are we a haichu family or a mamba family? Haichu. Haichu over mamba. You ever had sour mamba? No. Okay, haichu's goaded. I don't know what to say. Goaded? Yeah, haichu's amazing. I think. It's got such a great texture, dude. It's amazing, bro. I wouldn't call it goaded. Really? I actually would just call it candy. I don't care enough about haichu, but the texture is great. I would go candy on a haichu. Ludwig, please. Nick, your pants on head. Goaded is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. Goaded is crazy. Butterfinger. It's next to Butterfinger? What the fuck are you talking about? This is a bad flavor, but. To me, I think it would be. I think it would be either top of candy or low, not sharing. Dude, if I have a pack of haichu, right? I'll go top of candy. Generally small. That is like the exact example of a candy. Then someone's like, oh, can I have one? I'm like, I don't really want to give you one. I want to eat all the haichu myself. I don't know. I'll give you candy, but I'm not giving you anything else. Dude, haichu is so much more than just candy. No, bitch. It's not. Are you kidding? It's not. It's just candy in your bag. It's just candy. Okay, if you're in the comments right now and you agree with me, please let me know so I feel less alone. Because what the fuck? Well, guys, this was our awesome Halloween episode. I feel terrible. I feel terrible, by the way. I need to throw up. I feel like I have to shit so bad. This has been three hours. I think Curren Shady should go in candy. I would put Curren Shady in not sharing right now. He's really fitting hot. Thanos snap. I guess we will never know. Not sharing is fine. That looks funnier. So, guys, thank you. We didn't cover a lot of candy. There's like millions of other candies out there. We covered a lot of candy. We didn't cover Baby Bottle Pop. That's true. Baby Bottle Pop. Which I like. Anyway, thank you for joining us. We're all going to go simultaneously throw up. Let us know what we missed and what your favorite candy is. Or maybe you got to the toilet. Or anything that you disagree with. Spider-Man out. Spider-Man has left the building. Miles Morales is taking a dump. He doesn't have the helmet on, so. All right, goodbye. Bye.