Ep. 221 - We Touched Grass

It's a thigh day. Congratulations yard listeners. Welcome. Are we going? It's a thigh day for y'all. They look delicious. I want a bite. Mine don't look delicious. You're looking at his. They're bigger than normal. We got two hams and two famished gross looking. How would we describe my quote unquote ham? Elongated balls. They look like hairy nuts. They've aired out a little too long. Yeah. You got Iberica hams, bro. What does that mean? They're thinly sliced, bro. And they come with a tuna crudo appetizer. I got the shit they put on pizza in France. It's exactly like this. French people, when they have to work more than two hours in a row. What time is it? It is noon. I guess I opened my business. I guess I opened my business because it is noon. It's Tuesday. I am off Tuesday. I am off Tuesday. What the fuck? Tuesday you do not work. It's not work day. French people, when they have to put any sort of good ingredients together to make a palatable meal. Hold on. Hold on. It tastes a bit too good when it's something. There's some pooper we can find in this. What do you call this pooper? It's literally good. It's tough because it is a French food. It's a French food. It's a French food. It's tough because it is a famously good game. French food is genuinely better. Maybe there is some shit. I don't know. Slime when there is something to eat that's not a salad? Yeah. Yeah. Sacre bleu. I still say sacre bleu. Do you blame him for liking salad? Is that really what we're getting him for? Yeah. Yes. Yes. I guess fucking sue me, the lolcow, for fucking eating salad. Yes, bro. You don't have shit on me these days. My cow of a lover who only eats fucking lettuce. I'm Teflon Don. You don't got shit on me right now. What the fuck does that even mean, bro? You cook on Teflon? No. It means nothing sticks, bitch. You can't get me. Nothing sticks in your fucking head. That's for sure, bro. The way you play on the rift. I mean, in a way, we all had an active day yesterday. We had an active day. Oh, yeah. He probably burned more calories. Yesterday for us was field day. You went to field day? Yeah. I went to field day, bro. Ludwig went? Ludwig went enthusiastically. I was pumped. He's different now. Ludwig was unhappy that he was late. I was mad at my girl. You're different now. My girl, I was ready at 1:30. I was like, let's go. And she's like, ah, I got to put some in the crock pot. And I was like, that's going to make us late. And she's like, what? It is what it is. It's field day. We're just doing kickball. And I was like, I don't think that's what it is. I'm blown. I'm genuinely blown away. This is not playing it up. I cannot believe you care that much. I went to field day and I had a grand time until. Until the end when we won. Boom! Me and Aiden, let's go. Can you describe what field day is? I'll explain. It's hard for him to not win at something. It's hard because he won so much. Let me explain it. Okay, let's do it. It is zipper two. Yeah. Nick's girl who set this event up. It was like 30 people and it's like four teams and there's like six different events and you earn points for the events. It was basically a summer camp for kids. And he did all this. And the most important part is every single event had a pre-event where Nick would fucking complain about the rules for I'm not shitting you five minutes to the point where I'm looking at zipper two and she's just Nick. Start speaking. It's eye roll city, bro. She's like, she's like, yes, Nick. Fine. We'll do it your way. Nick. Fine. I'll do it. You're an asshole. Let me, let me break down one of the rules. Okay. Did we mention we were the champion? No, no. Let me, let me break this down. So one of the rules that we had was, uh, there was your girlfriend's event, which she worked tirelessly on for fucking me all day. I called her gorgeous in front of everyone. I was like, you're so gorgeous and beautiful. She had printouts with like people's faces that had the team name on it. I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck? I don't know. I don't know. All day, I called her gorgeous in front of everyone. She had printouts with, like, people's faces that had the teams on it. That's crazy. This is crazy. No, no, let me speak my shit, okay? So there was a game, there was a water balloon toss, and you throw a water balloon to your teammate, and if you catch it successfully, you take a big step back, and you keep going until there's no one left, right? So the way the game was set up was, so, like, everyone on the red team, everyone's partnered up with someone on their team, and you all go at the same time. And the way it was set up was, the same team can get first, but they can also get second. Because there'd be three water balloon tossing teams within an entire team. Yeah, so let's say, like, the last team to survive is the red team, because me and Aiden are, like, the last two, right? Then we go back to second place, like, who was in the last group? If the red team was also present, we also get second. And so we get the points of second. So theoretically, if we get first, but green team gets second and third. If we get second and third, they win. Okay. Because they get to combine the points of second and third. And I had brought up, I was like, hey, I think we should make it that your team can't stack points. Like, you only get as high as you place. I knew it. And it was like, it was like, I roll city. Everyone's like, oh, disgusting. It's how, how can we change her event? No, no, no. Let me finish. Bro, it's how can we change her event? And I'm like, I said, I said, okay, no, I'm fine. Let's keep it that way. And then, me and Aiden's team, we get first and second. And all of a sudden, we get, like, 45 fucking points. We get, like, an insane amount of points. And then, Cam is like, wait, the points stack? And I was like, wait, the points stack? That's crazy. Everyone, and then a domino falls. And everyone's like, the points are stumbling? And I'm like, I'm like, and I say, I say, I fought against this cause. I tried to prevent this. And then, my beautiful, and she looked particularly glowing this day. And the sun. And the sun hit. And it was just like, did something change? Did you get more beautiful? I didn't know it was possible. She, she goes, oh, oh, now you like that they're stacking points. Completely misinterpreting. That I'm saying, this shouldn't have been the case. And everyone's, and everyone's like, oh, now you like the rule. And I'm like, I still don't like the rule, to be clear. I'm fighting against the rule. And because our team got double points, she changed the rule. Only after, only after it benefited Hitler. I don't know how you're pretending to be a martyr. A.K.A. me. You were Hitler. Okay, from what he described, I'm convinced that he's right. Now imagine this was his 11th time doing it. Cause he, and he was doing it on Ransom too. I had a great track record of good stuff. There was like, there was one game, there was one game, there was one game was long jump. You just jump from one rope to the other. Jump long. And, and, and then, and then Zip2 was like, okay, we're just gonna jump one at a time. And then it's like, what if we jumped group by group? You're a fucking terrorist. Here's, here's, here's. There's just, there's over 30 people. What can you do? Let me lay the, let me lay the groundwork for you. Help me out, please. Hi, guy to bridge the gap here, because I also won. And I love winning. I mean. You know me, I'm a gamer. I'm a gamer. But this is, this is a social event that's like. 50% that it's 50% Knicks, let's say. And then 50% as in like, I'm a Knick. I'm a gamer. Yeah. I like the rules to be proper. I see what you're saying. And then it's 50% normal people. Casual normies. And, and my first instinct is I'm, I'm a competitor. I want the rules to be followed. And I want to win by the merits of my own abilities and decisions. And I. You're so autistic. And one of the first, and one of the first events is like the rope jump. It's a jump the creek. You jump as far as you can. Two, two ropes aside, like, and you have to jump over from one side to the other without touching either rope, right? Very basic. If everyone does it, you move the rope. The first round that we do it, I see a bunch of people like touch the rope with their front foot when they take off or land on the rope. And I see that the ref, our ref doesn't say anything. And instead of saying something about it, I go, it's that type of field day. And I said. That's fine. That's worse. That's worse. You are being worse. No, that's. And I said. No, I didn't say anything. That's real shit. I didn't say anything. Yes, you did. That is a regular person first thing to do. That's a normal person thing to do. I was even worse. I went. I said to the person next to me, I won't narc, but I saw some touchers. So. That's also a normal person thing to do. Also, not the person next to him. He said it loud. He said it to the other group. No. Yes. I was like 10 people down. I would be clear. That's not enough for the most beautiful woman there to hear. I promise you. Yes. Most people. You heard that. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. That I mentally took note of. Oh, it's good. Like, it's going to be like that. That's fine. I'm going to buckle in to enjoy the day and not worry about whatever the rules are because people are touching the rope and they're getting away with it. That's fine. Aiden was losing it, bro. Aiden's acting like he was able to switch his head to normie mode. But every time someone touches the rope, he goes, gah, that's a rope touch, bro. That's a rope touch. Are we not calling that? No, no, no, no, no. You were getting heated, bro. Hold on. Only when we went to the hardcore mode. This is what we did, right? That's what happened. Oh, so we got heated. I will. I've never been more on Aiden's side of my whole life. I wasn't there, but I would like to hear everyone out. Shocker that Chucklefuck A and Chucklefuck B are on each other's sides. Chucklefuck A and Chucklefuck B. Chucklefuck C. See, game one of the competition. It's potato sack race, right? Me and Ludwig are next to each other. And so we take off. And me and Ludwig are in the lead, right? I would say I'm a little further ahead. He comes over because he's arms distance away. He shoves me. His team gets the lead and wins. That's Chucklefuck C. And then we get to the water balloon toss. Ludwig grabs one out of the thing and starts grinding with his team. They're grinding the throws before we even play the game. And then we play kickball. And there was a dodgy play where it was like it could have been safe. It could have been out. And the teams are arguing. And Ludwig goes, fine, two ways to win, I guess. No, fine. We'll take the outfield. Two ways to win, I guess. Two ways to win. That's fine. I let them have their call. And I said two ways to win. win but the jumping dream thing is like when everybody's jumping right when when enough people get eliminated people start going like when somebody will jump and then everybody goes oh when somebody makes it and then if somebody barely misses they go oh sure i'm i'm participating in that and then what happens is i win the jumping game there's a round that everybody gets eliminated that's left is like except me and i'm like oh sick like i i did it but then everybody wants another shot at jumping and it's like the five or six people that are close enough to like keep going and then i got hardcore about it because it's all the people who like give the most of the shit you know now why did everyone want just another shot for the heck of it so second third fourth because to determine second third and fourth but what happened okay look i had to be i had to be senior adolf because what happened in this event was so we would something like that it was actually one of the earlier games it was a perfect example aiden gets first it's like yeah we're done and then people would be like but what about second third and fourth and then like we'd all be like oh i guess we didn't think about that okay i guess we need to make a rule i guess uh what do we do uh and like okay and then i think the rule that got created was a little weird because that was when the stacking of points was introduced like mario kart it was like yes well yeah it's exactly like mario kart like and zipper too a wonderful competitive mario kart player we all know that about it that's why she plays baby shopping cart um you guys talk about zipper too like she's a stone cold dumbass no wait my whole point of what i was saying earlier is that as soon as i saw that it's like i'm not going to try to change the rules or or speak up about the rules it's like it doesn't matter we're just here for field day that's what that was my perspective and we still come out to talk a little bit about shit so in that event i was i i immediately noticed i'm like oh wait but because we're about we're about to go into rounds two and three to see who gets the second third and fourth and i could see the way it was i was like oh it's possible for these teams to beat for first place if they just get second and third and even fourth uh and i was like that's a little weird and she was like it doesn't matter it's like not gonna happen like okay and then it didn't happen we actually got lucky it just didn't happen i'm like great okay you love as a to to get lucky and then i brought it up the next time i brought the next time you know what she said to me verbatim she looked at me and she goes i was like this could happen and i think it's bad if it like the second and third place teams just beat the first team and she goes yeah theoretically that could happen and i was like okay we don't change the rule and then it did happen but it benefited me and i was like okay we don't change the rule and then it did happen but it benefited me and she was just like yeah we should change it and i'm like oh oh i guess theoretically i guess it panned out in theory i think it's just your it's just someone does 98 of the work and then next they're like oh your bow tie is askew okay i made your outfit now and then i went up to lovely i whispered lovely i was like i was like i'm like a car not commercial i'm like farming these ims and then i'm gonna break the system which is i'm gonna be the one that changed all the rules i'm gonna have to break the system first unfortunately unfortunately schmuck c schmuck c i think is a little right but it's it's because it's because it it's about anal and fucking it's nick and zipper two it's you and zipper two so nick nick is in the unique position where he's the gamer that cares and he can speak up and say something because the rule would pop up and then i'd hear like auto under his bed to be like that doesn't make any sense this is an important piece of context important piece of context let's just say it wasn't nick who was doing this it was shake shake was organizing everything that would do this he would get trampled like a like a yes shake shake does this for like the third time and everybody's like shut up shake shut up so but nick nick and her are nick and zipper two are dating so like the input it's like nobody everybody just like lets it play out so he is right about the specific situation she's flinching but it's she's reacting she's being i know what he meant but she's being like like we can do it that way fine and i'm like yeah i don't mean to be and i and i knew even my first suggestion i was cheeky about i was like coach hello coach can i make a suggestion please i was kill yourself every time every man comes around he goes coach you're a fuck you're miserable okay but so do you think how would this conversation have gone if you had not won and he won um it would be worse for me i think because i get they would also get to say and then i lost yeah so now he just changed the rules and won interesting i guess that was a fun field day you know it's funny if we didn't change the rules we would have won by so much that it didn't the last two games would have not mattered because there was no way to catch up we would have gotten second by so much it would have mattered no does it no because we got we got second fourth we won we won water balloon toss i know bitch but i'm saying we would have still got second there was a riveting tiebreaker that that uh ludwig won where it was a tiebreaker but it was a tiebreaker but it was a tiebreaker it was just jump rope between him cutie and a couple other people cutie fanfan and dan and it was fanfan was there yeah yeah what the fuck is going on they had to elect they had to elect someone from their team to be like you decide if your team gets second or third and fanfan got elected because the uh the game was double dutch or again no just jump rope it was hot rope jump bro i was gonna say and she was like i got this and i saw her take the longest hit of a vape i had ever seen and i'm like cool and i'm like she either crushes or she's out so or early and she was out so early she was out so early watch this drive and then explode cutie and her got out same round because fanfan hit it and then hit cutie and then cutie just cutie oh you didn't care you didn't care about like like winning events okay she goes for the love it but after it she comes to me she goes i want you to know you didn't beat me and you couldn't have beat me this is gonna cause divorces and she was she was like i only got out because i hit fanfan which forced it to hit me and she and she was like and she's like i didn't want to say anything because like i don't care about winning but i don't want you to think you would have beat me let me jump in front of it and i have no i'm like all right i'll jump in i'm not a jump dub dutch jump guy on cutie's behalf in that uh i was swinging the rope with lou and uh i think i i'm actually that i'm dog shit at it i think i think i think also the rope spinning was a little fraud is this not a constant conflict of interest do the teams that are working together spin the rope the two because our team our team who had already won it doesn't care who wins this got to spin the rope yeah the first place team was both spinners that's important i got because i if i was spinning the rope sabotage i want you to know i won the only event that mattered uh you won the only event that mattered yep which one was that you won because of his girlfriend i won because of my efforts and my team's efforts no no no no his girlfriend carried there was a relay where the last leg of the relay was the hot dog race where you would do the hot dog and use a sprint and but one of the i should have commented one of the legs way before it was doing a children's puzzle you had a complete entire children's puzzle that's really his his lovely girlfriend also got to the puzzle last was the only person that didn't study it first and beat everyone by like she might be the smartest wasn't even close just a chimp test wasn't even close she hangs out with babies too much she had this puzzle she was out of the puzzle section like 90 seconds before everybody else dude it was so cold and then she flipped all the other girls off and she said i didn't study it was crazy i crush a hot dog faster than anyone hey put her there speedy and he walked he walked the running part because that's how big of a lead they had i've been there i know what that's like see hurt people hurt people yeah that's true we've brought we've walked the same road you and i it was it's just tough because you i think you feel emboldened to to lash out at nick because you you lost to us in so many competitions yesterday does it hurt do you hate that no no because they would uh it was funny because like there'd be one where you have to team up and then they're like oh we're teaming up oh we're teaming up and i'm like no and i'm like i'm like hey fan fan do you want to do water balloon toss and she's like sure and it's like so you're the guy that's not trying that hard and they're trying too hard we're frolicking catching jellyfish and they're like every person knows jellyfish is the fucking king of the court and everyone else who doesn't catch as many as a fucking loser should die and then they're in there bro every competition is he right you guys are denying yes i'm gonna say on the sidelines of kickball someone on his team who like you know probably isn't gonna kick the ball very far or at all would walk up to the plate and that would be like let's try hitting it real lightly let's just have a tiny little hit let's get it off the that's disgusting that's a disgusting thing to say i'm saying kick it come on sport come on come for me i'm saying kick it come for me i didn't say i said kick it left i said kick it left make good contact keep your head over the ball good advice i'm hearing two different things which guy which guy is worse i did the kickball good teammate who supports his other teammates or the guys who only team up with the other strong people guy guy who gives unsolicited last minute feedback so his teammate tries to kick the ball better while we chill and i have a simple question did you team with one woman through the event wait yeah i teamed with the creator of the event to create help create the event where i was your who was your woman teammate wait three three-legged race was it a woman oh you mean he's asking a duo did you do it with any woman at any point in the event ever this is no no nick did you there was only two yeah aiden there was only there's only two events where that could even be the case and and one of them you have to be the same size as your and both times you picked a man it's curious wait you're telling me that you picked a woman that wasn't your girlfriend yeah she was on my team so weird it was okay there was something really really funny that had a great kickball so zipper two's brother is there with his girlfriend, and he's the pitcher for our-- - Oh my God. team also this is such a funny lineup of people because it's like zippers to zipper two's old roommate slash like friend from work and then like fan fan yeah so it's one of those events yeah so what do you do we're calling her fan fan i don't think they really understand that's not her name yeah yeah dude i mean they're probably low-key like what an exotic and uh no one is fiona zipper two's brother is on the opposite team from his girlfriend right so he he she walks up and he roasts her he's giving her the hardest pitch he's giving her the hardest he's doing like mario baseball pitches and then and then when he fields it he goes for the he goes for the throw and then the opposite end of this is ludwig is the pitcher for his team cutie walks up to bat and she you know she hits she hits a soft one a decent infield kick he also he was like he's throwing beams all day he goes yeah oh yeah and then ludwig just lets her get to first and i was like this is the contrast this is the contrast between the two her brother her brother was like he goes like what the fuck he just made me look so bad yeah of course that's just a young buck in a relationship he doesn't know yet the two ways to treat your girlfriend let her get on first bro from there you can have a double play if you want do your thing but let her get on first so what are we doing here bro damn i hit dan with the craziest strikeout i've ever done in my life bro yeah it was it was a fucking nine pitch inning bro i had you pitched a no hitter i had a full count i was crazy really hard to get struck out in kickball because if you're on your last strike you can just default to having a really bad kick you can at least foul every time yeah you can touch the ball you touch the ball dan just gets outplayed cold outplayed by was it a change he was throwing change i was he was literally throwing change i didn't know you could throw i got it like a bowling ball with a spin it would be like it would be like one of those trick golf balls that it gets to the end and it rolls the other way because there's like a gyroscope in it like when ken chen does an illegal serve yes i have a fastball and then i have i have a change up and it was really good i honestly we would have won if it wasn't for a second baseman who was that who's your second baseman was it cam i don't want to name a jumbo cam i'm not trying to name any names it was a cutie oh my god it was it was somebody with two left hands somebody with two left hands that he uses to play rock band drums two left hands no he got feet for his damn hands which he which he used when he went when he batted too he somehow okay that motherfucker bunted he kept a ball and then it would hit his hand and he'd smack it down how is this even happening which was crazy which was crazy because he did it twice yeah i've never seen this and he did it twice where he kicked it so far up that he kicked it into his own why are you sig hailing while kicking anyway like i wasn't even fucking out there carlo and i i you know beloved rule follower i'm like i gotta hold my tongue because at this point in the day i don't know everyone hates when i enforce a rule so i'm just like great kick you're such a piece of shit but that's like a justified piece of shit thing you did the best thing you could do in that situation besides not saying anything which is hard one of the funnier parts of the day was we were in kickball we had a lot of fun and we had a lot of fun and we had a lot of fun and we had a lot big heated argument about like whether or not someone made base and I'm like they were fucking out they're clearly out and like their team that he was clearly on blah blah we're arguing and then a random spectator at the park who's just been watching us play is like I think they're in that's shows you how fucking sweaty their team is that a random spectator had to back us up I needed someone to listen to us it was a bad call delusional you have a whole team telling you you're wrong you have a third party telling you you're wrong and you're like I was still right fucking if you're wrong you're right they have one umpire at baseball get rid of the base umpires Ludwig get rid of the baseball umpires we know more about baseball than you I learned I learned I know nothing about baseball from playing kickball I forgot every single rule I was like oh right if someone catches the ball you gotta go back he did not tag up I will say something about Ludwig he's been the closest to baseball recently we've seen bro I fucking run baseball diamonds around you I grew up in these streets huh I grew up in these streets what streets the streets of the the Toronto Blue Jays you you didn't grow up in Toronto yeah but it's Canada's baseball team you don't even have it's like I grew up in New York that's like that's exactly this whole team I'm saying like you you're the closest baseball team to you was 1,500 miles away I like the Rockies kick of the day goes to Cam he launched it into the fucking atmosphere and then when he took second base well he got a home run so he ran on every base but I was playing second base and he slapped my ass Cam's never been that intimate with me ever he slapped my ass and then from the bench he was more where that came from that's why I was trying to foster that environment when we did the swimming thing for the Olympic video because I basically we all had to put on speedos which felt very awkward and I just kept saying hard bodies don't quit our bodies don't quit and then I went and hit the showers but what is his name gear yeah the the cameraman the French guy Guillermo del Toro just G I've only ever called him G pretty good answer he's cool but he didn't want to pee with me butt ass in the locker room that's fair so I was like let me get away from you right so I was like are you done he's like I'm done and then I came out butt ass I think that's the most vulnerable I feel is that we spa because you you you get naked before you go to the bathing area but if you want to go pee you're at this awkward point where you realize that oh I have to walk to the bathroom and like stand up peeing fully nude it's kind of far away school it's not that's the most uncomfortable I feel I think yeah it's just it is like you said it's a middle zone it's a demilitarized penis zone yeah hey do you guys see I went to the fucking baseball game yeah yeah bro your seat was crazy you could smell his ass I was I was I did I tried there's like a net there and I hung on it and then I got yelled at so then I just put my face soon I go and I just smell the fucking just smell the feel bro smell show his watch that smell his clean washed ass they were a they did win in phenomenal fashion anyway a guy just fucked up that's how they won it was actually pressing oh I watch yeah yeah this was like the the is a huge fuck-up and a guy irreparably change of course of his life I was thinking about how that guy feels this week like this whole week because he did we're watching this entire game at the office with a huge group because there was a bunch of people that came over to watch the NFL game that was on Thursday night at the same time but the baseball game just came out of the office and I keeps going and it's so low scoring it's one one in the 11th inning yeah there's extra innings and there's two outs the bases are loaded for the dodgers they need to just bring in one guy and not have a force out to like win the game and finally have this be done everybody everybody at the office wants this to be done because they just want to turn on the football game but there's there's a couple holdouts for the end of this and the guy the guy gets the ball hit right to him the pitcher and he has to throw it to first for the out right he drops the ball on the last play and then because he dropped it he like panics and then tries to throw it home instead of first but just throws it into like the dugout just totally whiffs the row and you can see the carlo of baseball like the dodgers like explode out of the bleachers there's fireworks in the background and the pitcher just he's he's like 25 years old he just keels over and he's just staring into the void realizing that like oh everything in their entire season just came down into this one moment that he managed to fuck up twice in like two seconds he was despondent this is him oh just despondent and the catcher comes up he's like it's okay bro it's okay you just ruined our whole season you should fucking yeah you should probably quit i messed his blood i was like uh our tv's fucked um anyway i messed he threw the ball home like when like ariana grande gets to do like when pete went that's the exact way he threw it like it went nowhere near home yeah he just he just butch it and then uh and then but i was at this really fancy section that was behind home plate because i ripped a ticket when uh how much quantos request on 5k 5k bro it was five that's I guess did you play five games? Why be like 10k you're by himself you want alone, dude? I literally was so stoked. I was like good for a Ludwig doing some students. I've been getting like mixed reviews I've been getting like some shit because I went by myself. That's cool. I like that guy who went to wood ranch alone Kelby was coming to the other day and someone brought up wood ranch I think I think someone literally said why is there a wood ranch hat here because your thing is here. I think it's here That's for you. Yeah, I know And I said I said, oh, so I think it's a present from slime to me and Kelby's like I love wood ranch and I said, thank you and he was like why a hat from there and I told him the story and he was he was Like that's not weird. It's that's not weird to go to his steakhouse alone And then I was like and then I was like, well, I don't I don't really want you on my side what if we both go to wood ranch together but get separate tables and we sit across the restaurant what if we sit at the bar but we're like as far as we can from each other and we both drive separately we leave at unequal times i gotta go to wood ranch by myself soon man i need some me time uh yeah the only reason i went by myself well i think that the ticket i found was just one but i bro i wasn't i don't have anyone in my life who likes baseball enough that i'm dropping 5k for a ticket oh that's fair yeah that's a lot zipper two it's not a lot she loves it is a lot she loves baseball don't act like it's a lot for you because you would spend it on some dumb shit this is the dumb shit this is the dumb shit it's like fucking you would get connor uh c-dog a fucking baseball ticket and he didn't even know what that sport is i get him outfield huh i get him out i'm not getting a behind home run fucking behind home play but no because then you're thinking of the opportunity cost of you and c-dog getting on the fucking you're on tv we were on the jumbo and you're like jerking him off under the thing like kyson that got yeah i was jerking off aiden yesterday bro dude yeah he was when flubbing arrived the first thing he did was jerk off aiden in front of all of the yeah yeah i'm letting him know i was like hey this was gonna be like when i'm around here i'm gonna jerk him off he was like you know what's crazy you know what i hate about this is that i i'm like surely this is this is a social faux pas here because a lot of the people here don't even know who ludwig is and i think ludwig through proxy of who he is can get away with a lot because it's it's endearing it's funny and i'm like but these people if people don't have if people don't have context of who ludwig is maybe the jerking off won't be funny wow but it kills it kills and i and it's like and i and i just have to stand there and be jerked off by my boss i feel like you guys are forgetting that normies are more degenerate like normies are ripping slurs still ah oh yeah they're talking like cod lobbies and shit a hundred percent like hawk 2a came out and they were like yeah well normies invented slurs that's what i'm saying down to it it's just like you're you're acting about like talking about normies like they're charlatans like oh heavens no the jerk off image where in reality normies are just fucking ripping each other calling each other fucking f slurs and throwing five dollars on draft kings you're right you've never been more right they eat a hot chip and use draft games yes and you're right okay when you say he was jerking you off what does that mean he would walk up to me he would walk to me and he'd dude and he'd get low yeah he did it too yeah yeah yeah yeah he had a big ass fucking wiener dude i was at the game though i wanted to say this i was at the game i went to the bathroom and there i was in the urinal and it's in it's full because it's like in between innings and uh and there's a dude next to me and i just hear what bubble gum and i look over and i and he's got a plate with fries and ketchup ew while he's pissing wait while he's pissing and then you know what's crazy i look over he's got both hands on the plate he's holding the plate with his left hand and his right hand is grabbing a fry putting in the ketchup eating it dude and and he's and and i'm sitting there and while i'm peeing because i have a bit of pieris's so i'm a bit slow to get it going so i'm sitting there i'm like bro how is he pee is he preschool pissing right now is he ben tolson peeing in this toilet right now like dick out the zipper that's that's what i'm wondering it's like i don't know the stress i thought he oh my god and then he puts his dick back in and he goes so after after i'm done pissing i walk behind him his pants are up so i don't know whether he like i think he pulled his whole balls out the top the balls out you take the balls out and the balls the balls act like a cradle i love taking the balls out yeah i love taking the balls out too it feels so funny it was the most social faux pas i'll never go back to that section because of that guy yeah because he's fucking truly free no that guy's not going to go back to that section because money that guy is he's free fries he's free two hands in the urinal is not free i read uh john steinbeck book while i was in france and what i learned from that book is that we have a limited time on this earth which one was it east of eden and east of eden and it's a part it no it's not that one oh different one and what i'm saying is we're born on this earth and we die on this earth and in that time in between we need to be free as free as we can be free who's to say who's this we're allowed to eat and we're allowed to pee what was to say you couldn't combine these two things he paid for his ticket and maybe he didn't john steinbeck got nothing to do with this guy's fucking cock hands he has more to do with it than you would ever know and that's american literature look what if what would you say if he never touched and he was just eating and you had proof that he never touched and it was all clean no no contact i would still think it's gross why because that's your liberal mind because the the the bacteria in that room the the stink clouds are real and they're in his food he's got stink clouds you take a shit and your toothbrush is in the little tray and the sink and so the poop particles get on your toothbrush and you put it in your mouth yeah and you go i have a separate toilet room no you don't yes i do a separate toilet room no you have your bathroom where there's playboys in there and i look at those 70 year old muffs and i'm whenever i take a dump and i'm jerking aiden off to those muffs you do you see you're staying his house right no do you ever crack those playboys i've opened them not while i stayed there but one time there's an ancient you beat your shit to my people i've never beat in your house bro yeah i'm not beating by the way i'm just telling you i beat in your house that's fine you beat in his house i beat in all your houses keep it to yourself you have not beaten my house i beat in your house you came by for like an hour to do a boxing workout with coach quick remember when i checked your house for the squish oh you're gonna get a quick beat off i beat we never told that story dude we didn't no because i don't think we wanted to at the time but i think enough time has passed so when we were in his house he didn't he's lying and he's also you tell your house and i'll tell my house you tell you're 85 i'll tell my 15 when we were in vancouver doing the northern lion episode the day before the night before it was like midnight i get a ring doorbell thing and there's someone going into my backyard like in my place and i'm like i think i'm getting robbed and so i like i'm worried so i call ludwig who is still at home at this point because he's gonna fly in that day and i'm like can you go and check uh if they like took us at 10 grand in the house no here's the thing he calls me he goes he goes he goes he goes he goes dude i think i'm getting robbed and i'm like what and he's like he's like yeah i got this fucking ring doorbell notification and i left my back door unlocked yes and also i have 10k on my counter yes it was all spread out it was really what i don't know don't ask about me don't ask about me i was gambling and i had 10k cash on my counter and i think they stole it in any way dude can you just go and like just lock the door and i'm like i'm gonna lock the door and i'm gonna lock the door and i'm gonna lock the door even like just tell me they saw it i was so stressed i was so and he's so stressed and so i drive out and i go to his house and i'm stressed well okay but i so i also called the cops which is like i i called them and then they were really pissy at me as like i think i'm gonna rob to see a guy on the ring doorbell they're like okay so i told ludwig i was like i called the cops to like check it out they might shoot and kill you so i basically have this window where i have to go hopefully after the robber left but before the cops come so they don't think i'm a window here and so i fucking pull up i park like two streets away i walk over because i didn't want the cops to fucking see my car because if he's in the house and then something like they go and they're like oh my god and they fucking kill him would be hilarious like oh thank god a white man did you see anyone who could have been stealing i think it's the last thing i told sam i was like if i die it's on your hands forever yeah and i i said to him that would be really funny and i'll accept that and so and then i fucking i go in i'm fucking my heart's fucking beating out of my chest and i walk in and and i don't know this must have been the worst because they didn't rob they didn't go in your house nothing happened they just broke in your backyard yeah they were the worst robber of all time because it was just fucking 10 grand maybe they didn't take something maybe they placed something well i did about that i left a little something for slime was it it was my fucking jizz you beat off in my house i beat off in your house in a location i've never told you and you have yet to find no so i'm supposed to find the sperm find the spunk yeah okay i haven't found it yet let's just say don't take that router back to at&t you smoked in my router uh but anyway fucking lock your fucking doors and don't have 10k cash line well i did i changed those habits and also the cops came like three hours later and then they just i watched them on the right they just stood around and then left and i'm like it's the nick mullen tweet it's it's true like i get it it's like whatever but yeah thank you for doing that yeah i would do that for you too i well i don't keep cash around like that i'm just saying if i had to go to your house and you know all right uh didn't someone break into your car someone broke into my car yeah and they stole my my like the sweatshirts and then they broke into your car and stole your car this happens a lot to you yeah that's happened a couple times i had sex in your jetta larceny who had sex my jetta i did you oh yeah so there's like that's crazy you had sex in my jetta oh my god really forgot about that yeah that was a long time ago i didn't have a car at the time yeah we spent a whole episode arguing about if that was true now christian's in that yeah isn't that funny it is i'm giving it to my mom to use what she's here don't give it to her well she needs a four-door you have to disclose to her what happened in the car you have to tell her it has to come on the pink slip it's gotta say she's just using it for like a week i'll get it cleaned christian's like yeah i had sex in that thing i'll this thing have a clean title oh no salvage title because you've spunked in the car yeah this title smells weird dude on this topic so when you guys were all at this crazy field day which i did graciously turn down nick's girlfriend is like hey are you coming to field day it's gonna be really fun and i was like i don't want to do that but i appreciate you and i think you're awesome anyway so what i did as i played league of legends for 11 hours on the stream i ended up low on the day did you find out did you find out that the quality of the games went up or down over so down down yeah it was crazy uh over not playing on stream oh okay and so but i it was fun and i realized there's such a clean serenity this happened to me last year when we were playing a lot of league there's just a serenity and playing games all day and people watching it's i feel born to do it even though i get pissy but like you said like on the subject of what uh what you don't get pissy but on the subject of uh being condescending there is someone in the game who was like because people don't backseat me much and i'll just like take it i'm very chill someone asked me the other yesterday if i ever played jack and daxter i said a month ago i would have killed that guy now i'm like no i never played it it's a good game i've never played it not the precursor orbs and then the conversation started a month ago i used to be totally unreasonable and now he says what we think and now i'm fucking normal but this guy shut up this slide will brag about becoming normal yeah oh my god can i not track progress it's only for a window it's not a window i'm different i'm normal now and that's why i stream for 11 hours instead of going to my friend's field field day months ago i would have beat off in public today i just kind of went i just went outside didn't do that i this guy is in my jet and he's like obviously hasn't been watching me play 17 000 fucking games with diana and silver and he's like hey man i think that grabbing the red trinket might be really useful for diana so you can go in a bush and kind of like sneak around and i was like you fucking do you think i just forgot to grab the trinket you fucking think i'm that fucking stupid maybe you do and that's fine because i'm in silver because i'm a fucking lol cow and i was saying i was like this is the equivalent of someone going hey um if you rub my titties like just like this uh i'd fucking really like that it's like this condescending like emasculating like you're so big you're so big and that's such a big cock that if you did this you genuinely forgot you forgot i did but the guy was talking about it like i've never gotten it's also funny to compare it and be to compare it to when a woman tells you what she wants out of sex yes so now every time i got a trinket i was just being like yeah which we all think is super gay you just rub my pussy like this like i fucking love that and it was like i was like this is how you fucking make me feel bro and you fucking but my girl tells me what she wants out of sex and i'm like don't condescend don't you're so condescending i already knew that i already knew you liked that i didn't do it because i because i forgot but it's like a twitch chatter telling it to you it's insane because i tuned into your stream after field day was all over i was back at the office this bit that you're talking about right now is the only thing i saw the entire day literally of the minute of the stream i watched and i was like i was listening to you say this and i was like what is he talking about because i just go i started going insane it's like the old valorant days and i'm just like unraveling because like i'm doing bad and sometimes i do good but doesn't matter and all this stuff and it's just sometimes you do good and then run it down well i i watch the games and then tell me that but i do no watch these ones i'm telling you i watched yesterday which ones the volley bear uh that's a different one that was because i accidentally banned my champ which happened to you yeah anyway so i'm like playing and i'm like and it's i'm just like unraveling because i'm fried i'm just hopelessly addicted to getting like this rank in this game that i can't get and i'm just like fried so i'm like 10 games in and i'm just like yeah just tell me i'm a wall cow and tell me to rub your titty so much just like so anyone tuning in i'm like those twilight hours are getting like this insane version of me where i'm like jack and dax are never played it let's queue up again and then my jungler goes and they like just don't have smite they don't have it they don't have it i'm not gonna use it and they take this dragon all right that's a hard one and i say what can you do what can you do and i say what can you do like a hundred times yeah and i've never i genuinely have never been more fulfilled i have a really big problem do you guys know who beerus is from dragon ball z yes i do he's the god yeah yeah yeah he's like the cat yeah yeah man his name i think's like i've been putting together a lot of uh awesome art of me and beerus being the bestest of friends together oh yeah where can i see it well the problem is i don't have anywhere to put it brother using the website builder squarespace which this episode is sponsored by make your bearish slime art website oh my god i didn't know that i have one where i'm giving him a delightful hug look whether you're just starting out or scaling up squarespace is all the tools you need to make a professional website grow your brand and get paid a professional one place professional website i can get paid for my hobby i think a lot of people would pay there's a donation tool where you can fund various directly on your website using the built-in donate tool all right one time or reoccurring if you're going to add more slime and bearish friendship art the good thing about this is they have seo tools and i don't think slime beerus is going to be competitive in the seo market that sounds really great that means people can just search up what i'm making and they can find it right away and much like you offered beerus your service of being his best mate squarespace offers services so head to squarespace.com slash yard just yard to save 10 off your first purchase of your own website or domain by using code yard oh they have domains too yeah so i can get slime beerus forever dot edu just to be clear square case squarespace cannot provide you a dot what if i open up a university that's squarespace.com slash yard code yard well let's get back to the episode and i'm gonna have so much fun i went to my own band forums and it was just a fucking wall of slime bands i don't ban a lot of people in your shit no but you did when i pulled up you playing league and there was there was there were some terrorists uh like cross bands i probably did i genuinely i didn't oh maybe it was last year i think last year i kind of went i think slimes banned more people in my chat than i have yeah i do it to protect you thank you thank you i am fragile i i know i that's i tell girls that are into you're gay just because they're gonna hurt you because they're gonna hurt they're gonna break your heart chat i try not to please it too much there's people in your chat that i hate but i just hold my tongue and i don't touch them because it's not my jurisdiction now i've come in my damn jurisdiction my damn my damn fucking my town brother your gun works everywhere and you use it everywhere yeah but i again i'm very light touch on the other channels i'm shooting such a few amount of heads this is not true but you still you still click it yeah you still have to blow a dog's head off once in a while every once in a while just like a cop just like a fucking shoot a dog your dog because that's what he does yeah i'm so glad that they haven't discovered aiden the mob that they're gonna get him one day oh my god when they discover aiden bro it's over the shit that you've done to dogs if that gets out if i ever if i ever get a dog and then become a streamer bro i'm just gonna be firing shots just shooting at it to direct it around lemonade stands cooked bro lemonade stand will be canceled before the yard on god you guys play with fire man all we do is cheeky shit yeah yeah hanging out i was uh so when we got back we were in france me and nick france and we were in france and you're a superstar racer the great nation of france the great nation of limon anyway we go we watch all these people it was beautiful but we so we're on the runway to go home on monday we're on this delta airline plane and those fuckers are going to be like oh my god we're going to be like oh my god we're going to be like there's no air in the tire just wait just wait and we're sitting on the runway we're also we're also on a plane with like all the people who were in the riot documentary that we interviewed yes like every riot dev is on our plane isn't that funny that's kind of fun like nick pointed out when i'm like oh and then it's like oh yeah did you go say hi yeah we sat next we were literally a section of the plane us and them one of them was watching five nights at freddy's just going huh that's so troll i'm not kidding by the way if you want to know the hierarchy of of valorant i can explain it perfectly um the owners like the higher-ups at riot first class yes uh fifteen thousand dollar ticket we knew we looked it up and we couldn't afford it uh premium economy that's where the developers sit that's where developers uh prius like observers us that's where we stay on this plane uh coach that is where the pros at the event sat no way so the hierarchy of of the valorant ecostructure is that riot is up podcasters are kind of up and players are down that's because the the riot the riders are booking the flights and they're booking the flights for everybody so they're but they're like for me first class we can probably get the players coach if the pros disappeared new ones would take their place if the devs disappeared that's harder new ones would also take their place yeah but it'd be harder to replace them no it would be hard down the line for the faker is more irreplaceable than any single day hold on they're not putting faker and coach and you know the difference between faker and someone else faker sits with the pilot and gets to take a picture with him after Charlie fucking Sheen grab it grab the yoke but we're on this plane and then two hours go by cause they said that the problem was there's no air in the tire and I'm like well I fixed that at home so this should be a good point yeah tire pressure's low I guess we can't fix it and so they the pilot just keeps saying it and saying it and he's like oh it's an explaining situation and then finally a different person's voice comes on out of shame they made a French woman do it they said the flight has been cancelled sorry my sister is here I'll have to do something give me five which is crazy cause it's an international flight so you gotta go back through customs yeah we had to do we had to get another stamp on our passport yeah you gotta go to the Iraq State Hotel it looks like I went to France two times in three days yeah which we did we went through and then so we get on the flight again and we get home but it was really annoying but I was sitting next to a person who does what is it like they write the lore and the voice lines for Valorant agents oh and we were talking for a while which I usually don't talk to people on planes but they were very cool but I was I was like I was like so how y'all decided one's gay I we did talk about that a little bit but I was also like who wrote that fucking girls night line and they were like girls night they were like that one wasn't me and I put away the 44 that I had I just unclicked the hammer you gotta thank that if you meet that person you gotta thank that person for having t-shirts they put us on man yeah who is it I don't think they work there anymore they definitely work there whoever made the girls nightline at Riot whatever you did I have a question how was cause you know you had a wonderful race I had a much different experience in France but how was France for you guys cause I heard that you guys were in a bit of a cuck chair for most of the week we were in the cuck chair not as much as Cam and Christian who were in the biggest cuck chair genuinely spit on no I would actually say we were not in the cuck chair like if you really think about it how are you in the cuck chair but how no Hassan was in the cuck chair we were not in the cuck chair what do you mean you were in the cuck chair we're talking we mean different things about the cuck chair who's getting cucked not you I think I know what you meant you're not you're out of this conversation I think we were I think we were up like let me paint the why I think we're not in the cuck chair so we were like oh let's just go to France I guess we go we book an awesome Airbnb it's beautiful we have like a gorgeous view of the city and then we go to the event we're like oh here's our wristband they're like oh your royalty go that way we're like great and we get in and then Pokimane's like and Hasan are like you want to cast the American broadcast there's a bunch of one million people watching and we're like sure and then we got to go to an even cooler place and then we watched it from there and then we went home oh wow why didn't it feel like that we were just stumbling into access this was the exact opposite of what I thought you guys experienced which is I thought you guys were getting blocked on like being able to go we got blocked one time at the very very end when it was over to like go like basically where he was okay and I was like that makes sense I have no reason to be allowed to go there but Hasan was like let me in now let me in come on let me in now did that work no it didn't work did he did he say it in French it works he got barred out and they were just like I don't know who you are you go fuck that fuck away and they were bigger than him yeah what yeah it was the security guards were actually fucking huge they were massive they were massive they were huge yeah the VIP section at the thing was insane I was getting pictures because all the pictures my family take go in a WhatsApp group chat and it auto downloads on my phone I don't know the setting yeah WhatsApp does that yeah you go to your photos and you're like what are all these new photos and so I'm just pulling it up and then it's like my youngest cousin and it's just her with Pokimane and I'm like what the fuck when we did the 48 hour film fest I had to join a WhatsApp for the competition and one day I looked at my phone and I had a bunch of photos of just like random like 40 year old like white guys in like Halloween costumes and I'm like what the fuck is from that one from that spooky one I'm like I'm like what how did this get here who is this I thought I was being cursed the party city that was such a bad short maybe I shouldn't be critical I cut you off oh no I don't think you did oh but yeah I think it's funny Nick says we did I guess we did stumble upward over and over but it didn't feel that way I think we both just really wanted to go home yeah the true is normally on a trip I'm like I'm just happy to be in a new place and I'll go walk around and I was really bored and I wanted to go home part of the issue is the event happened in Le Mans Le Mans which it's just a tiny town it's Bakersfield it's like Lancaster, California you know where we were cucked sorry we were cucked by like the days leading up to the event when Ludwig they'd have like special French dinner yeah and there was a day where I think I already said this on the other episode yeah but there was a day where someone came up to like Ludwig and was like are those your friends and he was like yeah and he's like just so you know like they can't come to dinner they're not allowed here that hotel was miserable yeah the castle the chateau that we shot the chateau yeah where the last episode was held that place fucking like it was very pretty but like they're so uppity like how so for you? like aren't you getting treated nice the whole time? no like they fucking isn't that funny? he was he was a bitch boy he was a bitch the whole time it was like on the schedule it was like dinner starts at nine which is like fuck that's crazy because we have to be up by like you know eight o'clock we do not sleep unless it is the middle of the work day that's what it turns out and so and so we'd get there exactly at nine and we sit and we'd like be like can we order? and she'd be like nah you have to have a full table to order and I was like what do you at a private event like he's talent at an event and they're like you can't order there's no full table dude Ludwig describing it was getting so frustrated what? I realized how he gets when he can't eat food a food? yes yes he's like he's like I don't have to tell you there's no no notice is coming I just need food so you just need to feed us there's no one coming that's all I care about that's so fucking funny you were he wouldn't feed you because the table was a small table he said it was too confusing and this wasn't a restaurant this was the hotel for the talent this is I get it I get that there's a cultural difference in Europe this is the worst thing about Europe is whatever goes on at restaurants and feeding people it is a terrible experience all of it is so bad their service is just not something the American mind can comprehend because our goal is efficiency and expedited service getting in and out and their goal is two hours of food I straight up think they can smell if you're American because when we went to a restaurant they didn't ever come ask us for any food and they just kept serving people after us bro and we're like why us it's a him problem I keep saying it's a him problem I do think first off you guys ooze American it's very obvious I ooze fun American I do ooze fun American who's like floating around who's like wants to learn when I went to Paris by myself when I went to Paris by myself they kept talking to me in French and I'd be like oh I'm American sorry here's this guy who's too good for all this I think I think if you guys smoke one cigarette you'd instantly get a pass just light up in a building oh we should watch around with cigarettes in our mouths in a school and then they'd be like oh sorry so we haven't helped you yeah so the trip was like it was whatever also you wanted us to come early and then it's like it sucked and it's like whatever but it was alright man I'm glad you're fucking a racer man I'm glad you're a professional racer I'm a fucking awesome fucking racer dude you wore your thing I'm top ten yes man yeah I'm wearing my best outfit for this I wish I could get inside your head and crawl around and know your real thoughts you can't actually I did a better help call today what? better help dude that's like a terrible service have you used it? you're gonna get cancelled have you used it? no but I've seen the controversy around it well I'm doing a video where I try every product YouTubers advertise interesting and then giving my thoughts the therapist just blowing their brains out because they can't crack you yeah no Ludwig would be a tough one bro they're like so do you have no problems and he's like no life is hard life's dope life's life is dope yeah it did end somewhat like that she was like yeah so if you want to do another lesson just think about like a problem you have and I was like you're such a fucking asshole I was like a problem and she's like what's something in your life that's not perfect and I was like so should everyone do therapy because everyone would have something like that and she's like I'm just talking about you you're such a piece of shit it's funny because actually what me and Nick spent most of the time doing at the racetrack was talking to your sister about you yeah yeah yeah it was very funny a lot of trying to crack open the psyche of Ludwig she was she was a bit lost as well she was confused she was as confused as we are the loved ones in your life do not understand this is the enigma this is what it called me it's actually true yeah this is cool I was thinking about how it's kind of funny how Travis Kelsey has to come home and be like babe congrats on that awesome album yeah and then he shows her he shows her a book of animals that he likes have you listened to it I listened to a bit of it because I had to do a podcast with Cutie so I did listen to some of it yeah how much is some and she's like she's like kitty litty litty it's like a nursery rhyme is like half of it hold up I listened to cancelled some songs rip yeah some songs rip if you're yeah if you're a baby in like a crib and you look up and there's a what are you talking about carousel of ducks some songs just sound good on this new one yeah I don't know I don't fucking care she's what she says you're all sheep who look at the online she said you can be my forever nightstand huh that was one of the lyrics beautiful beautiful I like this song about how she wants to plow Travis oh so whatever bro two hollas said camera on flash and she said everything is memes and trolls that was actually really hilarious that's a banger bro she also said she girl boss too close to the sun I like that one because that's something I might say hold on let's just fucking stop for a second you don't have to do this to kiss you more about me I got flowers all around you don't have you don't i know you love your fucking girlfriend so much she's fucking beautiful and she's awesome you don't have to pretend that you give a shit about taylor swift i don't care about taylor so hey man but i listen to the she doesn't but i can tell you because i listen to the whole album i don't understand outside of she is mega big and people are sick of her why people hate it what because it's not that big of a deal one tweet changed my mind which was the one it's the video of the guy where he's like if you're sick of taylor swift's lyrics just imagine it's mf doom oh my gosh he showed me that over a beat and i changed it for me and i was like this is never mind i'm so and even so like i read the genius lyrics and they they read way worse than they listen when you listen to him it's not that bad i mean the lyrics are so shit what are we doing i know what are we doing i know man what are we doing i'm saying dude mumblewrap fucked the world up huh all you are doing is consuming your opinion of her in tweets that are shitting on her and that's how you come to your conclusion i'm not you did not just listen to the album you have me mistaken for someone who has come to a conclusion on this album you've clearly come to a conclusion otherwise you wouldn't be coming at me saying why are you doing this i'm coming why are you doing this i'm coming to a conclusion of it's it's really fun and funny to make fun of travis kelsey like learning about a triangle that's all i'm telling you it's all i care about the fact that you came at me saying i'm defending means you know that it is popular to hate so there's another thing you've never listened to it so there's another thing about taylor swift is the album that came out before this last year tortured tortured poets department that's the one i think and and i listened to it and i was genuinely like and i'm pretty open guy and i'm like this sucks and so i didn't listen to the next one because i'm like last one sucks taylor swift and travis kelsey in bed and she's just like babe i just i don't know it's like red fish blue like what he's like he's like what about what about fish and then he walks in the bed the bed bends in and she's like she's like that's so good she puts a little treat on his tongue she's like that's so good and she closes his tongue for him jar that's next to the bed she pushes the tongue back in his mouth and closes his jaw dude when someone opens the door at taylor swift's house he's going when the house cleaners come oh my god travis oh my god i'm so sorry he's not usually like this he's a rescue he's not usually like this and she takes the tree and sometimes he goes and he just kind of says oh my god good boy that's that is what i'm more interested in i'm down for that i don't give a fuck about the chiefs i could not care less about the chiefs we're having an awful season i hope they don't make playoffs the song had travis kelsey on his stream man it was fucked up he made him wear this fucking necklace poor guy hey hey corner you could tell he was you could tell he was uncomfortable he should have given him like a comfier chair if he's gonna have him if he's gonna parade him curled up at taylor swift's stream she's just looking at fucking pictures of gaza he's like he's like where's that he's chewing on a poop i don't know i buy him toys he prefers the shoes yeah so i don't know the music the album probably sucks i don't fucking care i don't care i'm trying to hit gold i don't care oh he doesn't have a hell of an arm i tried to get him he's not a quarterback oh wait what is he he's a tight end oh he's a quarterback i didn't know that that makes a lot of sense you gotta think a little bit to be a quarterback you gotta be pretty yeah you gotta be pretty smart to be a quarterback yeah no uh yeah that you guys seem to have a strong opinion about this i feel like you weren't i feel like you weren't paying attention at all you talked to cutie about it and you're like cutie i think the album was bad and she's like i actually think she's getting into chemistry and this is like uh this is like the precursor to like a future and like being a chemist and i can break it down because there's eight well there's 12 doors for one and they're all orange and they were around the world and we have to go find them am i? am i misunderstanding i thought i i also don't have an opinion i thought the fans were turning on her isn't the whole thing with this album is like the fans actually aren't fucking with her anymore in the same way she's objectively becoming less cool less interesting older more out of touch and music just doesn't hit as much as it used to i love looking at your eyes you just like you consumed nothing but other people's opinions and you just regurgitate like a melange listen bro all you do you're not listening to the album why would i listen to you you don't even listen to the album why do you care so much why would i listen to you this is what i'm saying this is how people are perceiving her and that's all i'm saying this is how your timeline you're right is pursuing her all right hey what can you do hey champ my briar can't smite what can you do my briar can't smite my briar can't smite and it's fucked up can you do it and it's fucked up and briar can't hit the smite and there's no juggler on the other team fine your opinion is the guy who listened to it is there is there some change in our fans viewer right now do you think that am i missing something it's like is it the same music as before no it's probably my theory is my theory is is i i actually think that the hardcore taylor swift fans when they get an absolute freebie to shit on they take it because it contributes to like a it's a long-term play it's a no one can say i'm a super obsessed mega fan i was because i took the i took the freebie moment to be critical and then when the next one comes out i can go back to being like girl boss she she queened on the earth she cleaned the whole earth she queened all over the queen to the whole earth she queened on my chest it's a long-term play their strategy it's the fans are smart man listening to you and every and every song is like an awesome jigsaw puzzle yeah it's like radio head for girls i've said this before i think this is how yard fans feel when you talk about baseball no because i like baseball they don't care about that here's the crazy part is an amazing album huh she has many amazing albums i agree wait 1989 and these ones fucking suck i don't care you haven't listened to it yeah i just but the last one sucks so but you said these ones suck so you you have an opinion of this album that is purely based off what other people have said no it's based on the one before that emotion better that doesn't even make any sense also fantano didn't like it i trust him the thing is you you accept that lover which is a previous album was good yeah and then tortured poet's department you think is bad yeah and so now you're like now all albums must be bad no this one's probably bad because she's had a good one she because anthony fantano said it and fantano said it and everyone else just say anthony fantano's fucking massive cock say anthony fantano runs me he runs you and he tells you what to think baldy runs me yeah yeah he tells you to think yeah does he tell you to eat it through the jeans he tell you to fucking suck it raw for him it's weird it's weird that you're so incest about i know he's he's because i just wish you had an opinion of your own that you spewed my opinion is on the previous one and then i the the i don't i don't care enough to investigate the ones now so i make fun of travis kelsey do the kids like folklore that album how many albums ago was that folklore was two ago tell you what i'll do what i'll listen to it today and on the primo tomorrow i'll tell you what i think cutie told me that she when she went back when taylor swift was just starting out and she was the country and she was doing country she faked the accent bitch country i didn't even ever think about that she faked the accent it's crazy you like short skirts and then she dated john mayer when she was 19 and he was 29 that's crazy and then she dated that one boy that was 17 she was damn 22 yeah wait what she was sucking that myers penis oh my god in tennessee she was sucking that modesty she's been obsessed with kennedy's all her damn life that was rfk jr's son that is a real fact i know i actually thought i dreamed that i realized that was all true i remember that let me explain it explain that she sucked she sucked a weird voice out of his son so now he's normal now it's normal like it's a bee sting like a horcrux she's a hero actually it was like the green mile when the guy just spits all the bees out uh here's what i think what i think the album's mid oh okay but i also think it's inexpensive mogul mail i think it's oh my god wait let people enjoy things you just got don't let just let people enjoy it he made a reddit comment what are you talking how i'm getting mobbed from a fucking reddit comment from ls pedophile too what are you talking about here okay it's mid it's mid i'm sorry i'm sorry i did they got me riled up yeah i just did some good things and something's bad and ultimately is kind of all i said is mid and you applied a lie to me i said it's made look at me look at me remember you when when you were jerking me off yesterday we were having a good old time this morning i just said it's me babe it's me and somehow you heard there's good things and bad things don't let them do this to you don't let them do it forget about the middle man i said forget about it is middle man that's the joke i take issue with the idea that when you say oh it's mid why do people care it's like it's okay to be annoyed that something mid i i hate to let people enjoy things wait that's not i didn't say that i feel like that's what you're implying when you're like it's mid no no like who cares he's he's very explicitly saying the issue is you you having a heavy-handed opinion about it without listening to the album is dumb and and the opinion that i have is it probably sucks and i don't care the opinion that i have is more heavy has to do with that guy who likes moog house and when you sing old mcdonald you can you can fucking call i think travis kelsey is stone cold dumbass i think you're conflating i'm okay with that that with how i actually feel about all the taylor swift stuff he's somewhere trying to pick up a piece of paper with a sticky hand right now ben it doesn't work he's got his tongue out like this he's got a pinwheel at he's got big cuddlerful overalls like kid and play can we turn miss rachel back on he hits his head on the table and looks around at the adults to see if it's bad and if he should cry he does that on the football field too he's sitting down after a huge hit that actually does it they all clap and say yay so he gets back up happy so i think you're conflating that with how i feel of the music again it probably sucks i don't care i don't care enough to figure it out i was i was telling aiden is how she is being perceived and i think you took that as how i feel which i don't really feel that way i feel certain ways about how but i think if you if you spew how other people on your timeline perceive her then you are platforming that opinion and that is now your opinion here's something also i guess makes me a bad person i don't really care if i'm doing that because i don't care about taylor's slime's opinion of taylor swift and moving that needle a little bit toward people thinking she sucks because i kind of think she sucks so i don't really care i don't care yeah but i just i'd rather your own opinion on this pot i guess if i want fucking a twitter timeline on here then i'll just pull it on my phone again i told you my opinion i don't really give a shit about the music that's how she's being perceived and that's what i was explaining to aiden and i think you jumped at me on that which i understand it's fine but i'll listen to this shit and then i'll tell you on the primo how i real feel and then we'll see if me and fantano balled up yeah if you show up what are you talking about? oh now it comes out so so you guys i listened i listened to that pod i told nick did you listen to it? that's really interesting because i was like you should listen to it he's he basically spends 10 minutes talking about how much he likes you and then he gets to me wait aiden ludwig ludwig started alone because aiden was late he said nice things about me shut up aiden was late i was the only one here to do the pod so aiden ludwig starts doing this like stop touching the rope ludwig starts doing this very quickly it's a very riveting like solo one-man show and i'm listening to it while i'm playing league of legends and he's and he starts to go down the line of like what do i love love about these guys and you're first and he just spends a lot of time on you and then he gets to me and aiden walks in and he stops doing it and then they talk about no and then they talk about other shit oh you probably had a bunch geared up and it sucks oh i was geared and ready to go can't remember it now but i was geared and ready to go he also says something that directly hurts me unplanned we keep going through the episode we keep saying we're gonna get back to we're gonna get back to slime and then we finally run out of shit to talk about and we're like all right you want to talk about like what we like about slime and then zipper calls time on the episode you know what i didn't realize i realized this is the most unwanted i've ever felt on the podcast because you're doing this wonderful solo primo that only happened because you fucked up the schedule and then you were late and then i so i come into this episode and i sit down all the comments are about how electric ludwig is for the first 10 minutes and how they didn't want me to show up because they wanted the rest of the ludwig solo episode they get enough of you now bro you're on that but you're on ls you're starving to him bro take your sensitive ass back to ls we clown on the motherfucking one man page ls oh you mean he pulled up his phone at field day yesterday first shit i see a lemonade stand short on his phone bro three months old had 200 likes it was a fan channel which means that he's deep cut dude you got this is such a spar that was such a beautiful back and forth yeah it was beautiful that was like ping pong uh so but yeah that episode i was like i was like nick's probably gonna be super tired i was like i can do it boys i'm down and then i get home from the plane didn't really sleep but i was like fuck it played a bunch of league and then it's like an hour before and i'm just like never felt this way in my life just like i'm i was like i was ep but like if i had to drive a car i'd probably crash it dude i was sleep deprivation driving is dangerous so on the on the plane home i bought i bought wi-fi for the flight it was like 11 hours some shit and it did the thing where first of all what i said okay you're rich yes and to double down well actually no i'll get to why i'm broke uh it was like the expensive type of wi-fi like the whole flight was like 27 or something yeah it was like 30 something yeah it was really high and i was just like what the fuck so i bought it but then i was like oh my god but then it did the thing where if you like lock your phone and reopen it it just forgets and then you go back to to it again and there's no area that's like check your email and like put this code in to like get it back it was just like oh you don't have wi-fi interesting buy it again yeah okay twice and i and that this was maybe like 30 minutes into the flight and i'm like no i'm not doing that you stood on business so i stood on business and i just said i'm not paying for wi-fi so i had no internet on the plane and i didn't sleep the whole flight i watched like seven movies and then when i finally landed i was like oh great well the podcast is over the podcast is handled back at home time to look at my phone now and i was like oh fuck yeah you guys were gonna do a two-man while we were in the air and then you fucking fucked everything and i was just like yeah i'm not doing that and i went home and i think i slept i think i slept 14 hours oh yeah we were fucked up but you guys were confused because my car was here and i was gone yeah i went downstairs in the nap room oh you were downstairs the whole time that's right i was because you guys were like i think he's secretly gaming it's like no i was downstairs that's fine and i was conkied conkied out yeah well you know we took care of business we did your job for you you know what he said it was fucking crazy he said nick is funnier than slime which is the only thing i got i don't think he believes that i think he does because he explained why you should listen to it anyway so i messaged him i said pretty much the meanest shit i could ever think and he didn't respond you hit him where it hurts you hit me where it hurts i hit him where it hurt i don't know what i did i haven't i've been a good bear you didn't do anything wrong let's see tough love maybe he's trying to strengthen you up for something but if i'm not the funny guy what the fuck am i bringing bro so much yeah oh my god fucking i hope you end up with half your skull missing in a ditch dude you can do that thing where you like control how much your farts smell and like nobody does that that thing is awesome nobody's got that no one's close yeah yeah yeah no one's close to it i'm serene bro what can you do jack and dexter sounds like a great game we got a we got a little match coming up what speaking of which you changed the name what oh my god i the the run back and i'm holding my tongue on that i know it's out of your control i know it's not your fault weapon but the fact wait wait have you announced that no i haven't announced you can talk about it though the we're rematching versus phase psl versus phase that was supposed to be a fast but we're not allowed to be called psl i'm out i'm out of the podcast quit he's never been to psl no i know i don't really know what this is he doesn't go to psl he just said i quit the podcast and he's grabbing chain mail like he needs that to drive home i know it sounds like as you said as your audio or video and i know it sounds like we're lying but he is putting chain mail on dude you've never been to psl once what do you care we're going to war with who on behalf of who whoever's fault this is you've never been to psl once i quit the podcast you kind of look like you have you kind of look like you have bangs right now why why does it make you upset okay well explain it i was being i was being funny no it's really it's really it's just a sponsored event and they know they found out well it was disclosed to them by kelby that the p stands for penis kelby and they were like well that can't be so given the framing what do you think is a better name the run back or the rematch the run back i think it's just a more fun word you sure yeah what why because he thought that i was wrong when i changed it from rematch to run back i picked the i like run back it's it's fgc shit introducing fgc words into something that's not because it's fgc is a cooler culture i think the run back is cooler than the rematch the rematch is what you would name like hikaru versus magnus carlson i understand we should have called it adapts funeral because that's where it's going to be shit boy because that's where it's going to be so there's a big prize pool up and the boys the boys on the team all get a piece if they win including one of the boys being nick yingling yingling's like a paid cod player at this point dude yeah he gets money me and yingling combined have more prize winnings in call of duty than like if you only go like 40 down on the melee list yeah yeah i'm 76 in chess that's so crazy that's so wrong and with this yingling is going to take reportedly going to take the 15,000 dollars he may or may not win he'll probably win it he's going to buy the cs knife that he's been begging me that is such a bad buy that's what i was like you're going to take it all and just buy a cs knife it's play money it's fake money you've got to punt it on something i've been punting money on robin hood gambling dude really dude ludwig is buying like sports futures yeah what the fuck are you doing what are sports futures it's a way to gamble legally on matches in california but online oh my god yeah i get it sports futures we're not betting on the game we're betting on the value of the bangles and their and their match against nice dude we love gambling as a country low key i feel it's money ball i feel like morally obligated to bleep this out i don't this is i don't think more people should know about this we showed that fucking bitcoin game and we You can't do that. We showed the Bitcoin game. there it's it's really fucked up the uh amount of things you can bet on because it's a lot this isn't robin hood you can do it is in a robin so you're betting on the hold on you're basically placing money into the value of the sports team because it'll go up after they win or after they lose it's not even that separated i'm just literally betting buffalo versus atlanta and i select a contract uh am i crazy how is this allowed and then it's a loophole it sounds like and i i think it's because it is a totally market determined betting odds it's not like you're getting vegas odds it's not like there's a entity that's determining the value of it it's the market determining the value yeah the odds are determined by other people who are buying shares of who they think will win my my big that's so insane my woke opinion is that all stock market i investing in options and all is literally just gambling and it's it's stupid to fucking tell the difference between them it's the same as blackjack i don't it's just crazy though because you can bet on some like like easily insider trading shit like you can bet on you can bet on for the oscar nominations like who's gonna get nominated oh my god so they're doing like uh oh my god polymarket shit yes yeah like you can bet on the feds decision whether they're gonna cut yeah all in robin hood you know you know william spaniel i was telling him about he often cites polymarket as a metric to observe how humans feel about shit yeah so it'll be like polymarket bet on whether or not russia will concede territory in the donbass region there's people say this and that influences you know how i mean because you're putting your money your money is probably being put what you actually think government shutdown lasting longer than 50 days yeah shit like that you can go yes or no it's been it's it's my bets on 45 right now i remember back when game of thrones was airing there was polymarket bets or whatever platform on how it would end isn't that interesting people who would die in the series it is it's crazy how uh i don't i don't think it should be legal on robin hood i am with you on that i don't know how they've figured that out smoking crack we shouldn't be doing i am but you guys smoking crack would know you do be doing bad huh you do be doing it yeah i woke up and i was like i was like there's no way that the ravens are gonna go one in five and then i put 500 on it and then they went one in five dude it's crazy you hit big no no no i said there's no way oh and you didn't oh and then they did oh stav's uh like a ravens fan character uh dude his those videos hit the timeline hard they get so big yeah he looks like really wet in them yeah he was in the rain for the last one he was he was a guy wait like a a guy to talk about sports and waiting that it makes sense yeah that he's in like he's aligned with like the barstool audience kind of vibe yeah i think i mean like you can look at a guy fucking bitching about the ravens and be like that's me dude i saw this uh i don't even know what it was i saw i got like a clip of like some high up at barstool talking about like the barstool staff and he was like he was like 98 of our staff are like like left liberal people really and he and then like the interviewer was like why do you think the perception is the opposite of that and he basically said without saying it like dave dave it's dave is just not but everyone else is and i was like it's so interesting when i think barstool i do think like 100 percent this is like poor noise the biggest guy yeah yeah yeah it doesn't matter like for example if like mogul mogul's probably like 98 left leaning but like the perception hold on but then we talk about kelby a lot who's the two percent it's me and calbo yeah and because we're voting trump every time yeah man yeah i just don't like that my taxes um you know i don't like that they're high he would say some shit like that i just don't think a woman could do it as good as a man no he does some shit here's what pissed me off about kelby i love that you brought it up i love that you brought it up aiden as a man who works closely with him and is actually superior what pissed me off about kelby he'll go i hate kids i hate kids the last thing i want to hear is someone going daddy daddy and it's like no one fucking asks you you're being so weird you're being so weird and so reddit and you look like an adult baby what the hell doesn't look like an adult baby yes he does of anything that i hyperbolize about him that's the one that i don't he's he just doesn't want to have kids the last thing i want to hear when i get home is daddy daddy who fucking talks like that you also don't want kids yeah but i would never say some shit like the way he said it's a problem of course but his feeling of not wanting kids is fine uh no i think it's a little vitriolistic you also don't want kids not in the way he doesn't i don't want them different i don't want them i don't want them different i don't want them i'm sorry some people try to file the world into binaries he's the most confused i've ever seen him look you're trying to file the world into binaries if you want kids or don't and that's everything but the way the reasons in which we don't is important and worth talking about but you apparently don't think that his reasons are daddy daddy his reasons are cunty and your reasons are based and my reasons are reasonable not even based i'm just a normal guy i thought you were a low count i am a low count bro bro you look tortured right now i you know i and i the thing is it's okay because he's giving me some of my greatest moments of joy what can you do well oh i see it bounces out when i tap into his leak streams in fact both your leak streams they keep me glued to my screen no you're fucking lying i'm not lying i've watched no i've seen those leak streams not the recent ones but just in general they keep me glued i am glued to your leak streams i watch them every time and they also make me feel good about myself okay you almost had it you almost had a pure compliment sugar everything nice can you do you're like a king can you do bot lanes 0 and 11 can you do i'm vote i'm but then i'm voting trump and robin hood that's my strat yo make some skrill but then i go to heaven you want to bet with me on what five racks trump dies by the end of the year wow we take no death all day one to one uh why why are you so confident on that just because he's old he's old he keeps talking about heaven and uh i just i think it gives me something to you know wait by the end of this year that's so it is literally two months in two weeks it's the worst bet for you ever will you will you pay it out i always pay out what are you talking about oh no i just it's just like it's just odd it's a real bet 500 by one to one is crazy yeah you should take odds you should i think you deserve what odds are fair we shook three to one three to one is is more i think i think literally i think ten to one be fair guys what if it hits i think they i think three to one is what you should do if it hits a couple months left in the year like i feel like there's a short if this was the beginning of the year i'd go down a little bit you want to do a calendar year from now are you giving me that i'll give you that out of kindness it's one to one still yeah i'll give you one five k october 13th 2026. wow they're there it's more reasonable lord yeah okay yeah sure gentlemen the art of the deal the art of the deal we just went up betting on my own futures uh yeah the last bit i made i lost a lot of money uh yeah the last bit i made i lost wildly i said armada would have the world record in 70 star in two years two years ago and it hit this month and he is now there so we a green switch i don't think he's fourth i don't think he's top five i don't think he's top 10 can we look at the leaderboard for 70 star zipper let's see where armada's at right now he's pretty good but i and he's some of best definitely has the legs to be up or down since the fart he's not for sure it is crazy to think about how liam is better than armada at something it is gaming it is crazy how is it crazy liam started earlier but it's liam right like liam's a great gamer of course he's a great gamer but he's also an insane person right okay that's fair oh no i think he's 27th he's 11th oh no that's not bad he's 11th by 30 seconds about uh from world record yeah 40 seconds for world record but what the fuck is anonymous uh what is that i don't know anonymous oh it's not verified why is it there i have no clue okay so it's ouija uh and then green suigi by nine seconds read the comment on anonymous i think all the comments are different this runner has chosen to remove their run from the leaderboard but it has been verified and backed up but then it says verified it no on the verified column which is confusing motherfucker oh that's weird i wonder why they did that yeah so he's he's not super close but he's close to uh top 10 can you can you show me 120 let's see where goat is it's suigi again bro he's so amazing wait does he still have all four cheese wait the same person removed their time it's so weird what happened in that community liam's 12 i don't know who this is 12 a year ago that's a big record man uh he had the world record like he did had like three times a year ago you know what's funny about punkation i accidentally tuned into a stream back in like 2012 and i was like this guy's really good and then he got i think he had world record for a little bit he did and uh i just kind of accidentally was was tapped in yeah also um caught power who is a super super metroid runner he got rated by agdq 2014 and it was really funny it was like a hundred thousand people they're like we're gonna rain cat power and he's just like this swedish guy with 80 viewers and he was kind of pissed about it he's like i did not really expect uh so many people and he's running super metroid like fails his run it was very funny yeah it's kind of hard i guess if you you just have fucking 40,000 people and you're just doing your speed run. and AGDQ drops on you I didn't have much planned for this you have your 5.52 again? or will it be 5.53 or whatever? we have a postmortem coming up for it but I think so I didn't feel this time around you liked it? yeah it was fun I think it's I think it's it's just a lot of work back to back after streamer games I was like because I had to reach out to fucking 30 people for that and then another 40 people for this and so just juggling all those DMs oh my god I gave GFG a hug huh? I gave GFG a hug he had such a good time what would you say you like give him a hug and you're like I fall asleep to your voice sometimes I was there for a hot dog race how could you forget? he already blocked it out of his memory I will say so Zipper2's brother he came in hot yesterday about the hot dog race oh he was he literally was like I could easily beat Slon he was so confident because he was like you don't understand how fast I can run and we were like you don't understand how hard and how unimportant that is to the race and how not it just isn't important the running just isn't important Slon has a chance versus Usain Bolt Ludwig had already finished the race so early because of the puzzle skip and maybe his ability to eat it I don't know and he steps up to the Zipper2's brother steps up to the plate and we watch him work through the dog from afar it's like easily 30-40 seconds he was slow I saw him and he was insisting that he could do it under 15 really? and then you get up there I need to put him on blast I think the only reason it's like I don't even fault him because so many people it was just like it wasn't even like a laugh at this lolcow thing it was like see it's pretty tough because everyone has the same thought welcome to where we are it's the smash I'm the best of my friends at smash or Mario Kart or wherever and you show up to the competition it's nowhere near shit's not so sweet yeah I was talking to ZFG at the well I gave him a hug and I was like and we were talking and it was really nice and he's very nice but we were talking about Melee or GameCube controllers and it was funny because I had enough knowledge about GameCube controllers and so does he to have a really like weirdly technical discussion about POD and why it's good for Melee but bad for OOT it was so crazy I was like okay so what values are required for a spin slash in OOT he's like great question so it's actually not a value it's like a it's like three quarters of a circle or something and it was really funny two Taylor Swift fans talking about it about the most recent album this is exactly how I felt when we went to what was Hammer Ant's streamer games thing called it wasn't streamer games it was something else the cum dump event yeah when we went to the no loads refused Hammer Ant event or something where I refused I didn't refuse any loads you refused no loads I refused no loads the whole weekend for the whole weekend because I was pleasantly invited and I enjoyed myself the time and that was the job this is years ago now yes and at that event me and Jack Manifold realized that we both knew a bunch about Mario Kart that's right and we were both so pumped that we had somebody else to talk to about it we talked about Mario Kart for like 45 minutes it's so it's so sweet it's so nice uh I like that yeah you know like video you know like video games trying to tack on to that you're gonna play today aren't you you're thinking about it right now I played one before you guys got here you know what I'm thinking you know what's funny I was talking to Aiden I haven't seen him in a while I was happy to see him for once in my fucking life and we're just chopping it up and I'm dog shitting on him on this person named Nigerian Zoe who's playing Zoe in mid well I'm just talking to Aiden yeah it was kind of you saw what I did it was kind of beast I kind of cooked that guy it was kind of beast in the time of him no headphones talking to me he kills Zoe twice in life that's crazy and it's a Zoe Zoe's a good character it has Zoe it's a Zoe who has Zoe in their name Nigerian Zoe so it's like you know they only play Zoe you know World starts tonight don't know what that is Pog T1 plays tonight who is he the bald guy well y'all well y'all time for us to go watch Nigerian Zoe 101 how about this everyone go listen to the new Taylor album I'll listen to it leave a comment do you like it do you hate it what do you rate it you're the best you're the best we're gonna listen to it and then come back for our review in the primo and then we'll have a review on the primo don't even fucking listen I'm going to because you insist because you insist I don't insist and yet you insist I don't care if you have an opinion on it I'm gonna but I'm gonna have one and I don't care that you don't care and we'll see you next time oh my god that's why he's the funniest that's hurtful