EP#22- Writing and Mental Health with Kelly Wiesehan, Author of Small Legs Big Teeth: A Prequel of Something Yet to Come

[MUSIC] And I think that's another thing that makes writing really helpful is every time you go through anything you're learning so much. And something about having this writing thing that feels like such a part of me is everything I go through is something that I am able to write about. And now that I'm publishing a book and I hope I'll publish more, I want to see it as like, it's an opportunity to connect with people. [MUSIC] That was Kelly Weezahon. Kelly is currently a senior at Washington University in St. Louis studying communication design and marketing. But she's also the author of Small Legs Big Teeth, a prequel of something yet to come. Kelly shares more about what her novel discusses, but essentially it's a modern coming of age memoir, where she's assembled diary entries, journal entries from since she was 11 and put it into this book where she's talking about how certain transformative experiences in her life have challenged her ways of thinking and taught her a lot of important life lessons. But the focus of this episode is really to discuss the relationship between writing and our mental health. There's actually numerous studies in the field of psychology that support how writing can be a really useful tool to process traumatic experiences and help you better understand the meaning behind all the events that have occurred in your life and can help you to move forward in a productive way in a way that benefits you and serves you in the long term. Before we get into the episode, I want to give a brief shout out to one of my sponsors, which is Anchor. Hi Kelly, thank you so much for coming on to Everyday Endorphins. Yes, hi Stella. Thanks for having me. Can you start off by sharing a little bit about who you are and currently this creative project that you've been working on? Yeah, so I'm a senior at Wash You, that's how Stella and I know each other. I came home from studying a broad less semester in March, so that was like when COVID was happening and I was in Europe, so I came home. Like a broad plan on what am I going to do with all this quarantine time and at that time we didn't know what was going to happen. And so I was like, I need some creative project to do. I've been writing since I was 11. I've always gone to writing when I needed anything or just needed to talk, needed to get something out. So by the time I came home from a broad, I like walked into my childhood bedroom, which I like kind of really spent a lot of time in recently. And then I realized I had like 10 journals like stacked on my floor and I was like, whoa, that's like a lot of writing and a lot of life that I've already lived even though I'm only 21. And I have journals full of journals. I have them, I mean we're on Zoom, but like they're like right there. Wow, so you've really been like very committed to journaling and writing and kind of keeping track of all the changes that have occurred over the past 21 years of your life. Yeah, and I would say, I don't even know if I would call it like committed, it's more of just like a non-negotiable for me. It's like that's just something I do and like we'll always do. So I knew that at some point I would love to go through them and like pick out the best parts and write a book or something, but I just didn't think it would be so young. But with like everything with quarantine, I was like, well I guess I'll just do this now because what I realized when I came home from abroad was, oh my god, like everything I said I wanted to do as a kid. Like I've already done and I haven't even graduated college yet. Which is a huge accomplishment too, to know that you've like achieved all these goals that you've had for yourself before even graduating college. Yeah, and I think I didn't even know what man fasting was until this year, but that's like what I did. Like I was writing down everything I wanted to do. So I said I was going to write a book during quarantine. I was like, this is going to be the time I do it. I'm going to do this now. And then a couple days later I got a message on LinkedIn from this person who runs a hybrid publishing like writing workshop. Like I don't know how to describe it. It's like it started as a class at Georgetown and this professor, his name is Eric Kester. He started teaching this class at Georgetown where he would do a two semester class and he would teach people how to write and publish a book. So the first semester is how to write a book and the second semester is how to publish a book. And during COVID he was like, well I can teach this on Zoom to anyone. So they just started reaching out to like any college kids and or adults and we're like, do you want to be a part of this? Thought it was kind of weird at first because it just sounds crazy and like weird. But I was like, well, I'll just say yes because I literally said like yes, Dan's going to write a book. So kind of the stars aligned like you were presented to the community and you were like, okay, I guess I might as well do it. It was so weird Stella because like I said I was going to do it on my own. And then like a couple days later it just like popped in my lap and was like, here, here's how you do this. And I was like, whoa, okay, so I'm definitely doing this. I'll be publishing my book. It comes out the week of April 26th and it is a memoir about my life so far. And I include at the beginning of each chapter a diary entry that's like relevant. So the hope is that it feels like a coming of age story like in real time because audience knows I'll be 22 when it's out. And also you get to see my diary entries from like when the event was actually occurring. So you get those like current thoughts, which I'm really excited about. Yeah, I'm really excited for it to be published. I pre-ordered the book. So will I be like people who pre-ordered it? Will they be receiving it before April, like the date in April? Or is that when like it's fully published? It'll be fully published in April. Got it. Well, I'm super excited. I want to get back to this idea of just keeping journals while growing up. And your passion for writing. I know we met in a creative nonfiction class where we both wrote memoirs and literary journalism. So this is like a blast to the past and our past selves would be so proud of your present self right now. Yeah, and you too with this podcast. Yeah, it's kind of full circle. It's really fun. Yeah. And you know, I'm just curious to learn more about what about writing has kept you feeling grounded. Or like what about the process of journaling has been therapeutic for you? It's so hard to put into words. And I think that's actually why I do like journaling mind, mind, races, like a hundred miles per hour. So when I journal, I make lists and I number things. And it's just a way for me to get all of my thoughts out. But it started in middle schools in sixth grade. And I like was that like a festival or like a fair or something like one a journal. And I was like, oh, this is like you like maybe I'll write in it. So like it started as like I'm in my bed listening to King Perry today. But then it just became this place like I was in middle school. There was like girl drama happening. And I didn't want to you can't like talk to anyone about it, you know, and I don't want to explain it to my parents. And you don't want to talk about your friends. And so I would just like write it all down in my diary and like, oh, I feel better because like it's out. I think now it's very much just a way for me to process things and it's become the space that's mine in my own and no one is going to read it. And well, now I guess in your I know, your memoir people will be reading curated snippets and excerpts. Yeah, but I would say they're it's just I didn't grow up in like a space where therapy was like talked about or mental health was ever talked about the first time I really entered that conversation was at Wash You. I think and people was asking like, Oh, like, did your therapist tell you to journal like, no, I just like did growing up like if I needed to get things out, I would just write and it just flowed so easy for me. So it's just cathartic and it just helps me organize my thoughts really. Yeah, definitely. And I love how you mentioned that the way you journal is just by getting everything kind of like in your head onto the page either through bulletin or through numbering or just kind of like organizing the chaotic thoughts that might occur. And I think a lot of people, you know, when they think of journaling, maybe they think of your sixth grade self being like, dear diary, today I did XYZ. And as you mentioned, it's not really all about that. Like it's it's really this incredibly cathartic process where you can translate whatever's going up going on up in your head onto a page. And like in that process, being able to just kind of let go of whatever thoughts are running around. Yeah, it's very much like especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'll sit down and be like, okay, here's what I need to talk about one school, two relationship, three jobs, like and then I'll be like, okay, now I'm going to talk about this and go one school. I'm stressed about school because XYZ. So it's like very methodical. Sometimes it turns out. And then of course there's always things that are like, oh wow, that was such an interesting story. I should write that down. It's very much a way to process things. And well, I'll just bring this up now. This is really interesting. So I [BLANK_AUDIO] just started therapy like two months ago. And the way I do it is I actually like type out to my therapist like we just message. - Oh, so virtually obviously I guess. - Yeah, I've never like spoken to her on video or anything. It's actually through betterhelp.com. I don't know if you've heard of it, but there's ads for it like all the time. - Yeah, okay, so you're using better help. - Yes, that's what I use. Better help is really great 'cause you can go and like pick your therapist and they all have like bios and stuff and you can search and you can like take little quiz and say like what you wanna talk about. So if you have preferences like if you want like male female everyone like a certain spiritual practice. So that was really great. So I picked this woman and she's been really awesome. She staying at home with her kids right now. So she's like I can't like do video calls, but we can message and I was very skeptical about it at first 'cause I was like this is weird. But usually every week I just send her like a very long thing that's numbered. It's like numbered with the different topics I wanna talk about and she responds with the numbers as well. - Oh, that's great. So it's kind of like it mirrors your writing process when you're just sitting alone and you're journaling or you're trying to parse through a thought or an idea or something that's been on your mind. - Yeah, and it's awesome 'cause yeah, one, she's mirroring me into like this is how I've always like their pies. - That's not a word. You know what I'm saying? - Yeah. - Yeah, I engage in some sort of like therapeutic process. - Yeah, like that's how I've done this. And so for even just writing it out is one cathartic and helpful 'cause you realize oh, like when you see it on the page and then to have feedback on it. I swear to God, this is the most like expedited therapy ever. I feel like every message is like three months worth. - Well, you know, this is great for my listeners who maybe are interested in going to therapy or learning more about therapy. They can check out betterhelp.com 'cause it seems like you've had a pretty positive experience so far. - Oh, yeah, for sure. And they have like student discounts and stuff like that. So it's pretty affordable and you don't need like, you don't need to enter anything with like health insurance or like anything like that. Like you just, just pay monthly. (gentle music) - Today's episode is brought to you by Romer Skincare. Based out of Chicago, Romer launched a clean skincare line that covers all of your skin needs, proving that you don't need a million serums and eye creams to get better skin. I love this product because it's sustainable, made of clean ingredients, and Romer keeps skincare simple. Taking care of your skin is an important habit. And I've noticed that when I'm keeping up with my wellness routines, I not only feel physically better, but I'm able to adopt a more positive mindset. So invest in your wellbeing. Visit RomerSkinCare.com to receive 15% off of your order by using my code in Dorfins 15. (gentle music) I would love to switch gears a little bit and talk more about your book. And first of all, writing a book that's incredibly personal at such a young age takes a lot of courage and bravery and strength. So I really admire all that you're doing right now, especially that you started this project during COVID, like during quarantine, when it could be so easy to just sit back and kind of spiral into this unhappiness because so much is going on in the world that is horrible and our abroad semester was cut short and our school year is like out of whack and everything is just not as it normally is. So I think that takes a lot of courage and I think it's wonderful. And there's this journal entry that you posted on your Instagram and I think maybe it's like a sneak peek into your novel and you write, I don't know who I am and that terrifies me, but I'm open to getting to know myself better. I think I'm more of a blank canvas than I thought. Exciting. So I'd love for you to like talk a little bit more about that specific journal entry because I think that really speaks to young adults and just being so vulnerable, I think will really help a lot of people our age to also be more open. - Yeah, well thank you for the kind words. It's validating because I don't always talk about my book so much, so thank you. And that quote was during the fall semester of our junior year, I had ended my like four year relationship that summer and my, I mean, you know him, but he's a long relationship. - Yeah, we all be like, he still goes to Wash You. So it was, I was really, really scared to come back to Wash You because I knew I'd be like still having to see him. And I also would just like, I realized right away I was like, ah, yeah, I don't know who I am, like without this relationship. Like I totally lost myself in it, especially towards the end. And so to have to go to school and craft an identity that was like, did not involve him was very challenging because all of my friends were his friends and so much of like who I was was like his girlfriend. Whether or not people thought that, like I saw myself that way. I knew that going through this breakup was going to be very hard, but I also saw it as an opportunity to really, really get to know myself because when it ended, I realized, ooh, I was probably really codependent and like I was getting so much of who I was from that relationship and that's like not okay with me. And I don't wanna do that again. So I need to like do some work and like get back to my roots, figure out who I am and who I wanna be because I feel so lost. And yeah, so I think that's what that entry was from is from the fall. It was just like, I wrote more that semester, so then I ever had, I wrote like 50,000 words that semester. - Wow. - Which is, I need to go through like a really hard experience and then that's pretty transformative. It kind of forces you to take a step back and think a bit more inward. It's like a bit more introspective, especially when it's around relationships and you've crafted your identity around someone else. It's hard, I mean, asking yourself, who am I? First of all, it's an incredibly loaded question and it's something that I sometimes will spiral into if I'm like in my feels or like on this like existential train of thought. And it's kind of scary to think about what is my identity, who do I wanna surround myself around to build the identity that I want? - Yeah, it was all of those questions. And I am someone who I have grown up like being like, "Oh, I'm so confident, I know myself, I have my shit together." And then that happened. And it was so hard for me to admit that I really didn't know like who I was. Like there were some days I would wake up and wear all black and wanna get a septum piercing. And then the next day I wanna like wear a skirt and pearl earrings and like, Jesus, I don't know. Like, which way is it going? - I guess, you know, when they say college is about figuring it out, maybe this is what it is. But I believe it doesn't end here. Like maybe by the time we graduate, we have some sense of what we want for ourselves because there's that traditional path of you go to school and then you get a job and you're in this certain industry or profession, whatever, but something that I've also found. And I'm curious, you know, if you feel similarly, is that we're kind of constantly growing and embarking on like a transformative journey because, you know, you break up with your long-term relationship and then there's gonna be another one and then there's gonna be a new job and there's gonna be a new city and there's gonna be maybe a family. Like there's just so much that's down the road that we just can't anticipate, which is kind of scary. But I guess writing is a way to make peace with it. It is and writing is, it's really rewarding to have those 10 journals and look back on my life and stories are only good if they have ups and downs, right? And your life is your story and it's gonna have ups and downs and if you didn't have those, it'd be really boring. And so there's actually research on this and I should do that research. Like at the facts, but I know that it's out there. That they say if you can contextualize your life as a story and see yourself as the protagonist and see yourself as a redeeming character, like with flaws but with redeeming qualities, that that is very, very healthy for self-esteem and confidence and all that stuff. And I've just kind of accidentally done that my whole life. But I feel like if you can kind of see yourself as like the main character of your movie, it's almost makes the ups and downs like worth it, I guess. (laughs) - No, I totally agree with you. And I think as you know, we're both writing minors, we met in a writing class when you're able to continually practice that type of writing where you're a bit more introspective, maybe more memoir focused or even really any creative pieces or projects. I think that creates some sort of maybe like habit loop in your brain where you're starting to kind of have that mindset. I love that you brought up this point because I recently this memoir by the owner and creator of this famous restaurant in New York City called Momofuku. They also have restaurants like in LA, all around the world now, but he's suffered with severe mental health issues and he had a really wonderful things to say about kind of like, you know, in life, there's always going to be constant suffering and when you're feeling complacent or things are going well, you have to find that next challenge to keep you moving forward and growing. And I think that really resonates with what you're talking about is, you know, those ups and downs and how even maybe in the present moment, we think it's horrible, but in the long run, it's pretty worth it. Yeah, because, and I think that's another thing that makes writing really helpful is every time you go through anything you're learning so much and something about like having this like writing thing that feels like such a part of me is everything I go through is something that I am able to write about and now that I'm publishing a book and I hope I'll publish more, I want to see it as like, it's an opportunity to connect with people, you know, if you can like write about it and talk about it, like there's so many other people going through the same thing that you are and so if you can like be the one that writes about and people can resonate with it, then that is useful. Then the more you go through, the more you learn and can talk that over there. Exactly. And I think that's why I really love that you're, you've committed to doing this and you're so young in your stone college because I can guarantee you like most people our age are probably resonating with the themes and ideas and thoughts that you're sharing in your book. I mean, from the snippets I've seen on Instagram, like I know that I've resonated with most of the points that you brought up and I think it's so important to be open and vulnerable about these topics and writing allows you even to build a stronger voice for yourself as well, like you know, through that writing process, you can become a better speaker and thinker and reader too, I guess. Totally. I mean writing this book has helped me like find myself and my voice because I'm having to do it. I want to start going back to what you said at the beginning about sharing things at a young age. I think memoirs are traditionally written by people that are like older and it's almost like more autobiographical and it's like they skim over their childhood. Are they skim over like the messy parts and it's like here's what happened with my career. Here's what happened with my kids and it's like you already know what's going to happen and they just kind of gloss over all the nitty gritty stuff that got them to that point. I think I tell you stories but something that I've learned going back through journal entries is you might think you remember a situation a certain way but once you go back and read about it and see your like 15 year old personality come through and see your 15 year old belief system present you're like oh, you're like that's not how I remembered it but okay. I'm so glad you brought that up because I also used to journal like middle school high school, I kept it up a little bit in college and the most like it's honestly like an entertainment. A night of entertainment is when I open up a previous journal and I read about how I exactly wrote about a certain scenario and I don't remember everything that I wrote about or even recall some of that happening. So it's kind of it's like oh my god like I can't believe this is what I thought about this instance or whatever. Well just and then you get to see how much you've grown and it's extremely validating and that's why I wanted to write this book now is because I wanted to show people like the nitty gritty of not knowing who you are being in college and falling in love really young and having your heart broken really young and trying to figure out like jobs and stuff because like the right now for everyone our age is so much it's so dense with questions and uncertainty and really exciting moments like getting to go abroad and like getting into college and whatever like there's so many exciting moments right now and so many questions that this moment right now especially as we're about to wrap this all up still we're about to graduate and enter this like new chapter of our lives or like adults. So it kind of just feels like the right time to really wrap all of this up package it up be like here's my childhood here's everything I've learned given all this here's who I want to be moving forward. Yeah and you know like kind of like looking back at your old journal entries I'm sure years down the line we're gonna probably look back at this episode and be like oh my god like I can't believe I said this or wow like she really she really had something you know of substance to say there and it might be a little bit uncomfortable or cringy but like that's okay because what's going on in this present moment is true to what's happening in our lives right now and I think that's so special. Yeah we have to honor our evolution and honor who we have been in the past because it has gotten us here so hopefully by me like supposing all of that it helps people kind of take more ownership over like the cringy stuff and I think I even say in the book I'm like if I am not throwing this book out of the window in five years like I did something wrong and I just learned anything because like you know like whoever's up there in the universe is like laughing like honey you don't even know. I love that. You're thinking about this you know as we're wrapping up with the episode where can my listeners find your Instagram handles or social media channels to follow along with your writing journey. Yeah so you anyone can follow my personal account just kelly.weezahon if you want to see like more book related stuff more quotes that's kelly weezahon underscore author. Well so exciting to have this book be launched I just I think it's incredible what you're doing. One last question I have for you that I ask every single person that comes on to the podcast is what is something that brings you in dorphins? Yeah um dancing like a lot um especially like during quarantine if I just needed a release I'd like put my headphones in and turn on like club music like so loud and just jump up and down in my room for like 20 minutes because I miss dancing so much. Are you like into TikTok dancing or like actual dancing? I guess. Oh no it's more like I jump up and down like to an energy release. Yeah it's um it's like yeah I jump up and down I twerk sometimes I do like burpees like it's literally just like I got it. So it's like a workout dancing is yeah yeah I don't know what it is but I do the thing. That's awesome I feel very similarly so I think that's a great response. Well thank you again kelly it was so great having you as a guest. Yes thanks Stella. Thank you for listening if you liked what you heard please follow rate review every day and dorphins on whichever listing platform that you use to stream my episodes thanks again and I'll see you next time.