Ep. 219 - They Stole Our Logo...and Lied

[music] I'm going to like you. You guys play some Valorant? I'm starting to play Fire of some Valorant. I'm not going to play Valorant. No, we have to put the head hold on your head hold on your head. It's not all easy, is it? It's not, it's how hard it looks. It's making this weirdly hard. Yeah, just put it, and then you turn it around. Oh, you're a beautiful woman. Put your hair on the other shoulder so that they can see your face. You do did somehow make it. Oh, you're chic. Middle Eastern. I did, I never, I don't the shirt. Yeah, he did it in a way be it, you know. Maybe I also did it that way, the okey way. I was trying to be sexy. A generational hoeing by the guy who's not here right now. I bet if you're in your audio, you can probably just feel the weight gone. It's like, you just clear the, you just play in your car suspension, just one up. Yeah, you're like, what's that about? Is there like more treble in this episode? What's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the feels off? Bro, do you at least, guys, I know, and you're probably like, who fucking cares? Who the fuck out here? You know what? I care. I care, man. Who the fuck cares? He fucking said we code plan. He said 9 a.m. before your flight Monday, after fast pipsy to a fucking event. He fucking messages at 815 in the group chat. Guys, I fucking got too much shit. I'm so sorry. Fuck can't do it. Can't do the podcast. I was too busy for the podcast and I'm a whipped dog because boy, when I saw that that boy's message started with the word sorry, unprompted, I said, he's fine. I was saying, Aiden is the wife that gets the shit beaten out of her and then, and then the husband Ludwig goes, I'm sorry. I'm like this. No, it's fucked up. I'm sorry. You usually say sorry. No, it's fucked up about that. Sorry is, that sorry is only happening in a world where he still needs us to do something. Like he needs us to be okay with the fact that he's not coming because if we're like, no, you're coming, he's now in a predicament. Oh God. It's not like he fucked up. It's like he fucked up. It's done, right? I will be. And then he's like, I'm sorry. He said, sorry, so I make it work for him. I want to see the universe in which we just hold. We just all join hands together. We're all here. You're coming. You have to come. You're coming. You have to come. Right? Like an hour before this, I saw a tweet and it's, it's Charlie Day on this set of the always sunnypot. Did you see that? It was cathartic. Oh my God. And he's like, when he's there, Zipper was not there, I was just like, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's somebody. It's another show. Does that make Charlie the Aiden of the podcast for them? Absolutely. Who am I? I thought I was Charlie. No, no, no. No, dead ass. I think Charlie's me because because Aiden wouldn't know how to turn it on and get it recording alone. Okay. That's Charlie. That's it. That's sure. Okay. What do we ex Dennis, aka Glenn Howerton? I will. I've always in my head thought you were Dennis, but in the podcast, I'm not sure. No, no, he's Rob McClennie. Yeah, because he's such a kind. He's the, he's the big Chad with the plastic surgery. Yeah, he's got the plastic surgery and he loves fucking soccer for some really your Charlie Day personality wise. And he has a trash bag full of food that he brings on planes. He does. He does. Actually, yeah, the garbage bag full of burritos, he's probably snacking on right now in like a $30,000 first class flight ticket. That's my favorite. I was telling people, I went to a wedding this weekend and that's why I missed fast 52. And my favorite thing to tell people about Ludwig is that he flies first class, but he brings a trash bag. This is carrying on. Oh, but he also books it the day before. And he books it the day before. So it's at least five digits, which is fucking crazy France, which is where me and Anthony are going. Is it tomorrow? No, the next day. You're on tomorrow tomorrow. Tomorrow, bro. I don't want to fucking go to stupid ass gas France, bro, I turned to corner last night. I also don't want to go. Fuck. This sucks. Ain't fucking bailed. All right. No, you know what? I was thinking about this on the way here. There he is. I was thinking about it. Holy shit. I love that. Not just that. If you're all deal by the slime's wearing chain mail. I'm wearing chain mail. So. So fucking happy. Are you fucking happy? I guess. I look like the fucking Florence puke from fucking dude. I guess. Snipples are pointing through the. My fucking beautiful, awesome nipples are pointing through it. Sir Bruno has come to the circle to air his grievance. 10 things I hate about a number one is he fought. His balls are always fucking drained. He's always drained. He does fucking LS and his balls are always fucking and I'm like, give me a piece. Leave it in. Leave it. You know? No, you don't. You don't leave it. Let him. Let him limit. Let him limit. He's seen too much. Oh my god. Okay. Oh, he goes to LS, he gives them their fucking the pumping of a lifetime. Imagine. Imagine Doug Doug quivering. I feel like it's the left and right brain. I feel like he's using two sides of him. One. Next right. Famously, we in Gaden. They get it. They get it. They're not allowed to have Gaden. They actually have it. But Doug will beat the shit out of him. If you saw the guess we had today, Gaden wouldn't have flown on that show. Do you have neton? Y'all want finally? Yeah. Finally. Oh my god. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even. You kidding me? My balls aren't. Hold on. My balls are only drained because my first, my first bitch said she couldn't show up at 9 a.m. That's true. And I said, I'll be there for you, baby, but I have to see second, you have to see seconds at three. Okay. And then I try to drain my balls. I'm in a life for a kissing LS with the calm on his tongue. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. So, what's the name? What's the name? What's the name? It was a damnent. It was Steve Eisman, who is, if you've seen the big short, it's the character that it's the real guy that Steve Carell is pointing that movie. Oh, what? You had him in there. Oh my god. The guy. Yeah. And he was a guest on our show. And before we started recording, the other two are trying to explain the yard to him. And he's just. And I'm a man. And we were like struggling to like explain kind of the, you know, the, the, the, the, the may perhaps broy podcast that we've been trying to explain comedy to a fucking guy who works in a bank. No. But then it's like, it's like back to that. I just was hanging out with that guy like two hours ago. And now we're talking about how I'm kissing him with come on my lips or something. And you know what? I was thinking about this. So, so dude auto right before he left, he was like, dude, this, the website owner of the, the website domain company that we used to use that we haven't used for years, he's like, he just posted a selfie with Benjamin Netanyahu. Shout out to Monday.com. And I was like, and I was like, that's crazy. He's like, I know. He's like, you just don't have to post that. And then I was thinking, if he goes back to that coffee shop argument, we had a long time ago at that photo shoot where Aiden and Hitler would get along because Aiden is just so forgiving. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine Aiden and Benjamin Netanyahu splitting a cap. Oh my god. You would be so nice to him. That's number two thing. That's number one. - Yeah, he'd not be nice to them now. - Number one, you wouldn't be mean to him. - He wouldn't be mean to him. - You wouldn't be mean to him. - This is the real test, this is the, this is, this is low key, it might not happen. We might have a line on, oh, get no bomb on that show. - Oh, that show. - A Barack Obama, and I was reflecting on this because we have a bit, not even a bit, a section of this show from a long time ago where we say, like, I confidently say, I'd ask Obama about the drugs drinks. - Yes. - Oh. - And no one is like, and you are like, you wouldn't do it. You would not ask Obama about the throne strikes. And he was looking at the other two. I was like, if we ever have him on, (laughing) he doesn't understand. - I have to ask. - He is accessing a part of the world previously unaccessible. - Obama. - Obama. - Oh. That's I think we could get Steve Ivan. Heizman on this show. - Steve Heizman, was he fun? Was he hilarious? - He kind of was fun. - Yeah. He very, very knowledgeable and fun. - And Republican. - And I don't think he's Republican. - He hates the gaze. - He might be. I don't think he hates the gaze. I was joking. - You see the photo. - The photo shakes his head, I hear the change. I was just shaking my head 'cause I wanted to hear the change. - Or if it doesn't go through of the sound effects. - Low key, I will say this. The chainmail guys, and back in the day, must have loved this shit. - It feels awesome. - Imagine getting hit and head by a sword and living and being like, oh my God, this stuff rules. - Ah! or maybe it's like skateboarding. Like, oh, you're wearing chain mail while you fight, gay. - Oh my god, yeah. If you have knee pads at the skate park, - Wait, wouldn't it be like, but everybody at the skate park has a helmet on in this scenario? But everybody's still gay? - Chain mail is pretty popular. - I think, here, the real thing is that, if you have armor, you have money, and armor's good, because you can live there. - Well, maybe when chain mail came out, they were wearing a one guy war, and everyone was like, "Gay." - Crinch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, bro, what, you're gonna wear that? - Are you afraid of getting hit in the head with a sword? - And then one guy got hit in the head like real crazy. Like it split up like kill Bill. And it was like, and they were like, "We should wear that." - Yeah, we saw Gord get his head in the butt and act appearing into his head and we didn't like that. So now we wear a chainmail. - No, we wear a chainmail. - Even though it's expensive. All right, number three thing I hate about Aiden. - Okay. - So his balls are drained. Number two, he'd be nice to Netanyahu. - I do want to get through all tent. three, I think that's it. - Did you think of it? What did you want to say? - I just started somewhere. - I thought I'd get to 10 really fast, but I don't know, I'm gonna more relax there in my life now. - And I'm just a likable guy. - No, I don't think that's true. I think, I do, okay, you know what I was watching? Do you know that clip of the millennial saxophone dance of people? - You know exactly what I'm talking about, right? - And that's a miserable looking clip. It's like shit music and shit people making shit things. - Dude, but it's in transit and you have to, you want to watch it. - It is. - Do we find this? - Yeah. - I don't know what to search to pull it up. - That's my problem. - That's my problem. - Millennial saxophone dance. - Gaw. - Isn't it a scaband? - Clip. - Oh, it's scab? - I think so. - There's horns. - And then the one woman, she's at the front and they all, they do the dance and then it's like, (laughing) - It's really cringe. And I was thinking, Aiden, so Aiden, let's say Aiden, he's an adjunct. - Right. - And I'm an adjunct. - And I do my scaband. - And he's like, hey, baby. And it's like, 'cause they've called him, he's like, baby name for some reason. I always do that. - He's always fucking weird. And he's like, hey, baby, nice to see you, man. He's like, I'm on my way to see Donald Trump. And he's like, you know, fuck a pig or whatever. And so he's in the car. And he's like, hey, check this out. And he pulls up his phone and it's that. Aiden, is it 'cause of him fucking a pig? - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, it's the, it's the scaband, it's okay. He likes that. He likes that clip. He's like, this is my favorite video. - Nenya, who on his phone scrolls past the video of him fucking a pig. - Yeah, well, yeah, obviously. - Because it's on there. - There's like, there's like 10 different squares of him fucking different pigs. - Fucking different pigs. - And he goes and he's like, I like this. Check this out. Because Aiden is a nice guy. He's unable to say, oh, that's awesome. He's unable to say that sucks. - Well Aiden, I ask you this question. - He would say that's awesome, even though he doesn't think that, but you would say that 'cause you're fucking fake. And it's just ingenuous. I think it's disingenuous to be that. Instead, you should be like, that's us. - Can you remember? - You might remember, there was a little episode recently where we already about the lights for 45 minutes. - I don't know what you're talking about. - What is that, what is that? - That's why we don't know. - What are we arguing about the lights? - The beautiful pop art? - Stupid. I can't even think of it. It probably made it up. - You're doing good. - And we delineated some things that maybe your problems, each of us can deal with. - Yeah. - And I think yours was getting mad at the manufactured versions of people in your head. - What do you talk? - I'm just wondering, here's the thing though, is I'm right. I doesn't matter if it's a fucking fake version, 'cause this is probably happening. - Well, it's real. - Someone has brought on a phone and showed you something that you think sucks and you go, "That's cool." - Let's play it out. - Let's play it out. You're Big Ben, I'm Aiden, and you're the Uber driver and action. - Oh, hey, what ethnicity are you really quick before we continue driving this car? - Serbian. And then he checks a chart, that's fine. All right. - Excuse me, random question, I'm so sorry. Are you Neniyahu? - Ah, that's me. - I'm Benjamin Neniyahu. - Oh, okay, that's so crazy. - I do podcasts, we talk politics. - What's that? - What's that? - Is it like milk? - It's like a music, but longer? - No! - Jesus Christ, can you, hey. - Are you Serbian pigs? - Serbian, right. - Can you please drive a little safer? - 'Cause he probably says it to like the Serbians. - Hey, are you Serbian rat dog? - Nope. - Hey, drive straight, bitch. - Yo English, just moved here. - You just spoke English. (laughing) - I was curious, almost too, complete, sorry. - I was curious if maybe you'd wanna come on my podcast. - Hold on, check this out. Look, I love this video. - Okay. - Do you like that? - Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. - This is the place we can agree on. - That was a trick. I pull off his mask. - It's strange. - It's strange. - It's not Neniyahu at all. - But I say, I got you, motherfucker. - Wait, hold on, but that I pull off the mask. I'm Neniyahu. (laughing) - No! - Wait, but who's driving the car? - Yeah, and then the Serbian pulls off his mask and he's the same guy. - The Serbian pulls off his skin. - And Neniyahu is like bleeding all over himself. - And he's like, good. Yeah, so I genuinely believe that it's right. What I'm trying to say is I think it's disingenuous to pretend that something is cool just to be polite when you can play the medium of it to let someone know this is kind of stupid, but I'm not gonna make you feel bad about it. - I think this is a Neniyahu aside. - Sure. - Who I don't mind. - If you can put it aside, if I don't want it, who I admittedly don't want to be chummy with. I think you fucking would. - I think I have a genuine maybe skill of, I find something I legitimately enjoy in most things that other people are excited about. - Even that video. - Come on, man. - Even that video. - Because that video is kind of like, this is, I have this idea. - I literally watched this video today. - I literally watched this video. - And I had the thought of why is this crenched to people? It's like, am I not just watching five people have a good time? Like, this is, I'm glad that they're having a good time. This is fine. People, it is better to be the person on stage doing that than be the person who's bitching about it on Twitter. - Yes, I think, okay, the problem is it's goofy. - If everyone's like you, the world sucks. And if everyone's like me, the world sucks. But I still think that it sucks to just have to accept it because it's to let people enjoy things thing. - Oh, no. - You know what I'm saying? - I don't think it's a shit that people enjoy things type B. It's me finding my own small piece of enjoyment in it. Instead of my pie chart of looking at this thing and being like, this sucks and is crenched, I'm like, I feel that way like 70% of the way, but 30% of me is like, this is kind of fun. And you just let the 30% run wild when you're talking to other people. - I'm still laughing about the guy he created the fucking thing. - Are you talking about that? - It's fucking Aiden. - It's like Aiden with empty balls. - He was showing me with Netanyahu. - Is that not, is that not let me stand in a fucking nutshell? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what it is. We had Netanyahu, Netanyahu on the drink my balls or something. - You don't have a guilt about your balls being empty for us. I don't, I don't because I said I would be here at night. I said I would still show up at night. - Do you promise that you give us the most balls that you can? - I give you the best balls all the time. I do this show before Lemonade stand every time I record full house piano. - Almost every time. - Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. - Just, John Samosen, I'm sitting on Aiden's lap. - You don't do it after a love you forever. Even if mom's gone. (laughing) - Speaking of mom's gone, he's gonna fucking explode in a fireball. - Dude, I. - Everyone around the office thinks he's gonna die. (laughing) And you might, depth is always around the corner. - That's really the, you know what? Actually, I don't want to go to France at all. Any more, I'm so over it. You know what, maybe rethink I want to go. I gotta, I have to be there if he dies. - If he dies, we have to be there. - We have to be there. - Well, Aiden will feel miserable. - And we got to do that episode of the yard with his smoking, still smoking balls. - Yeah, with like a piece of his foot. - It's a weird to have this thought. - It's like too caroxy. - He's like a bone sticking out. (laughing) (laughing) - Well, he's just through the bone tears. - He's like, what do you think about that smell? - God, I'll be so fucking sad if he dies. Oh my God, he's so annoying. - It'd be horrible. - 'Cause he was doing that simulator. Did you see the clip of him doing the sim? And just getting in a wreck and just flying around. - Yeah. - It was really crazy. - Yeah. - I don't know. - We got it, but we gotta go. - And Aiden's bailing, 'cause it doesn't have balls. - Look, because crashed every vehicle he's owned. This is what I'm worried about. - It's weird. - Is that he has a bad track record with crashing vehicles. - Wait, is it actually, I'm like running the numbers. It's the Sam bar. - It's almost every single vehicle. - So he hasn't been able to drive that. - Yeah, I guess he's got no miles. - So Jetta, Jetta's been in a crash. Both bikes have been in a crash. - Yep. Sam bar's been stolen. So that's kind of like crashing it. - I'd say a mental crash, to crash out. - Yeah, it's an absence of caring. He left the keys in it. - Yeah, that was unbelievable. - I don't even think, I feel dishonest when I tell people it got stolen. - That was the clip. - Oh my god, this is so crazy. - Look at him fly around. (laughing) - Wait, he just, oh, okay, he acted it. - Dude, oh my god, that's terrifying. - I love the no signal. - Oh my, is he off the map? It's falling indefinitely. - That's crazy, that's what death is like. - That's a really cool one. - What happens when we die? - That's crazy. - How did he crash that rat? - The balls out of the map. No, my balls are just empty. That didn't have anything to do. about splitting your time between us and L.S. and it's like, you have this, like, dad has a new girlfriend, but does he like mom still? - Well, you guys split your time between League and me. - So the fuck? - No, we actually give it pretty much all to League. - All of it goes to League, bro. - That's why it's seven and not six, bitch, he had to stay one in. And I thought about it. Here's the thing, I was playing all day. I thought about playing another and I was like, if I lose, I'm gonna be kind of in a pissy mood. And I don't wanna bring that into the pod. I decided to eat instead. - And I want, I wanna say I'm proud of you, but you're 35. - You're 35, fuck you, you're involved. Listen, by the way, I've conceded the race to gold. Now I know Nick doesn't feel too great about that, because, you know, what if it's a concession? - And you re-engate. You got to back this over, too? - It's not the point. It's that I didn't have the mental, I didn't have the faculties, and I hated toppling, and I quit. I fucking crashed out and I lost my mind. - So the spot's already been taken, I don't know if you've heard that. - I quit and there's a new race. - A new race, it's me versus cutie. - Like officially? - Officially, she asked. - She is a fucking bot. It's crazy. I don't give a fuck. It's fucked, she's just so bad at the game. And I'm bad, too, but it's like, so you get, the way the matchmaking works right now for this elo, you will get someone who has been for 10 years playing the game and is like pretty competent, and then you get people that have just finished their AI bot games and have, are able to play ranked. And cutie is like on the more side of the people that finished the AI bot games. That's the weird part. - Thank you. Dude, I don't know what to tell you. She's bad at the game. - She hasn't played a long time. - She hasn't played a long time, right? - Actively? - I don't know, I don't know who knows. - Who would rank you, she right now? - Holy op, she's silver, too. She placed into it. - Oh. - Dude. - Wait, so it's close. - She's very close, and she's getting 35 LP in it. - Yeah, she has. - Oh, my god, dude, she had a session where she went, I think four and seven, and she ended up. - Yeah. - She ended up LP. - She has some kind of, like, it's sad to see an MMR that allowed her to like just, I was at 552. So I was, me and cutie were supposed to do part of our race to go at 552. Cockucker Ludwig, cancel it last minute. - Cockucker Ludwig. - Cockucker Ludwig? - Generational hoeing, and even, I got in the fast way too, I said in the middle of the day, I said, hey, there's rumors that cutie's not even, he doesn't wanna show up. Is that mean we're not doing it? And he goes, no, that's stupid, it's definitely happening. I was like, oh, okay. Are you sure? 'Cause Dan's telling me she's not coming. He's like, no, he's wrong. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm staying then. - Wow. - Fast forward two hours, he's like, bro, I'm sorry, but like, and I'm like, all right, fine, dude. - This is one of my least favorite things, with Ludwig making decisions. 'Cause sometimes, because he's bossman at the end of the day, right? He gets to make like, final call on the way that these productions work. If he wants to change something, if he wants to shave something, he can do it. He's a creative mastermind. But, with something like this, this happens a lot where you get an updated piece of information about something that's going on, and then you bring it to Ludwig as, like, it'll affect the final decision that he has to make for his stream. But he actually never got that piece of information like you think he did. Like, he just, he doesn't have the, that he just thinks it's the old way because it's still that way, and then you're bringing new information and he insists that it's wrong. - He does this, but it's in, I don't know how possibly Dan could have found that info instead of Ludwig at first. - And I'm saying this happens all the time. - Well, this thing happens all the time. - I didn't tell Dan. - I don't know. - And not Ludwig. - I don't, I don't know. - 'Cause Ludwig's busy, and I bet she told Dan, 'cause he's the guy who's on the phone. - That's fucking why. - She knew when it comes to event planning. She knows what the chain of command is. She knows how to disseminate the information. - Well, I had a bunch of people, so I decided to, I decided it 'cause there's people who were bummed out that the stream wasn't happening anymore. And they're like, oh, I came, I actually, I stayed late to watch that stream. And I was like, pull up a fucking chair. And I played for a small crowd of like six, at some point, like 10 people, and at some points like five or six people. - You gotta be like one of 10 people in the world that's ever happened to. And they're maybe like faker at like a LAN cafe and visiting, but it was exactly like chat. - Oh, he was like, not in a bad way. It was fine, it was fine, they were cool. But there was just, a guy would be like, hey, can I give you tips? And I was like, no. And he's like, okay, you like keep playing, and one other guy would be like, you know, and we played, we played the Scramble. - You did the Scramble, yeah, you did. It was just like Twitch. - Wow. - Yeah, I mean, Miles and Josh are gonna go as well to commentate, and they had to. - They should both show up. - They will show up. - They will show up. Josh doesn't drive a car. So I don't know if he ever got there. - I don't even know how the hell he got there, but no, Miles came later, Miles drove, and then just to pick up Josh. We could be able to leave him immediately. Man, this guy. - Don't know how to make a hoes. - He's a little better than it is a fucked-up party, but he said so. - If he blows up in a fucking fireball, he all gets a race. - The last thing we've ever said about him, if that happens, is we fuck it, hate him and he hold us. So we gotta be nice at the very end of the episode. Even me as we want for next hour, but at the end, we gotta say one night, it's like with the very end of your life, when you're just like, and I believe in Jesus' next episode of my heart. - Pascal's Ludwig Wager. - Yeah. - He said Wager. - Oh my God. - Why do I like him so much, man? - He says, he's a piece of shit, dude. - Well, I don't know. I've just been, I was wearing the chain mail. I got you a wood ranch hat, but I just fucking left it in my house. I was gonna give it to you as a commemoration for your solo queue journey, because you went to Wood Ranch alone as well, and the way you play League, and the solo queue, you made it, but I fucking left it in the house, and everything fucking, some fucking walk out. - No, walk out, man. - I'm a fucking walk out, man. - You know, walk out, man. - I am, dude. - You're a low cow. - He wishes he was a low cow. (laughing) - You wish people fucking. - Can I put you guys on some game? - Yes, sure. - I don't know why I was in game, but that's really game. - Okay. We're taking, my mom was dropping us, I went to a wedding in Washington state, but it's on the border. So we have to find a Vancouver, which means you cross the border on the way, right? My mom doesn't have enough charge in the car to get us all the way to the airport when we wake up Sunday morning. - Liberal car. - Drops us off. - Exactly what was in my head. Exactly what I was gonna say. - She drops us off at McDonald's and we have to Uber. Getting the car, Indian driver, and he's listening to, and this is important, he's listening to Indian music. I don't know enough about Indian languages to know if it's like, like, India or Punjabi at first. And, but one song comes on and I'm like, "Damn, this kind of, oh, this kind of rips." Like, and it's like this insane rap beat with, like, guns and reload sounds in the background. And this guy just rapping over it, which I found out is Punjabi. - Oh. - And then it cuts into a drill, like freestyle. Like, UK drill in the middle of the song. I'm like, "Do what is this?" And I'm like, "I wonder, is this?" And then I had, I'm gonna shame Dave and think it, that is this a little bit of stolen valor here? Like, he's talking all this, like Matt, he's got, you know, a ton of gun sounds in this fucking song. Like, this is crazy. - Who's still stealing the valor from who? - Hey, look at, the song is called, can you look at the music video, it's a celebrity killer? No, I saw it on his phone. Celebrity killer? - That's a top song by Sidu. - S-I-D, and she's a celebrity killer, is it really cool? - And we could just, we should just listen to like 30 seconds of it. Just go to like the middle. - It's a crazy name if you play like top lane. - It's something. (upbeat music) - Yeah, it's about to cut into it. You just let it go. (upbeat music) (laughing) - This guy's fucking massive. - What's the feature? - T-On-Wade. - T-On-Wade. - So, this guy is Sidu Mousse Walla. This song's huge, 146 million. - He's a ton, like, he's massive on Spotify, right? Like, is all these streams on these songs? I'm like, this song's crazy, but I'm like, you know, leaving pretty heavy into the gun culture and stuff like that. It's like, you know, a lot of rappers do that. Not a big deal. - Sure. - Yeah, look this guy up. Dude, he was assassinated three years ago by an opposing Indian gang. - This guy? - This guy. - He's dead? - Dude, he's dead. He died at 28, and he died in a, like, to another Indian gang. And it was like, holy shit, here I, I felt like such an idiot. I'm in the car questioning this man. And he fucking lived that shit, dude. - Dude, he's the fuleo. - Yeah, he's the old one. - Whatever Sidu Mousse. - That's exactly what I thought. I'm like, this is some like, who I smoke? Who job be in addition? I didn't know about any of this. - That's crazy. There's such a big, beautiful world out there for all of us. - I will say, drill as a genre in particular, very plug and play. There's basically drill in every country. There's like, there's even Australian drill. And there's, and there's, and there's UK drill. There's, I think Chicago drill was likely the first. It's just one of the, it's just a tempo be a style of rapping, kind of happens everywhere. are often involved with a lot of gun violence. - Yeah, even an idea of parallelism. I say you, you pull up the image, I say you. All this talk reminded me of some picture I saw today that I thought was really good. And. (laughs) - Wow. Dude, it's like, dude, if you told me, it's not actually Mr. Beast, it's Beans. I'd believe it, it looks like Beans. (laughs) - That's crazy, bro. - Yeah, people just keep putting Mr. Beast face on like fucking, like just other people's pictures. - Dude, this is almost exactly what DJZ made looks like. - I know, yeah. Oh, okay, by the way, guys, I wanted to give everyone an update on the art in the yard of situation. So. - It's a very interesting place. - It got pretty weird, so. - If you're not caught up on the saga, if this is the first episode of the yard, you've ever seen. - But eventually, there is a small event in New Hampshire, an artist event. - No, it's North Carolina. - Sorry, sorry, North Carolina, not North Carolina. In North Carolina, some sort of artist collaborative event, and they have stolen our logo, and they've been using it for many years. Which is normally fine, normally we wouldn't care. But then we realized, they started. Yeah, here's that logo. We realized they started selling merch on top of, with our logo on it. We're like, "Ah, that's the art event. "Probably shouldn't steal art to put on the merch." - To me, it was also the idea as an art event. - Yeah, exactly. - It's like you should get someone in the community to maybe do a contest in the community, something like that. - You have that. - And then we reached out, and we reached out, and we said, "Hey, we think that you may be using our logo." - Yeah, and so we got to reply. - So we got to reply, and so it's on the Instagram account, and whoever is running it said, we actually worked with a graphic artist and paid him to develop the graphic for us. If you could message me, so there's actually a double space after the period, which implies the prison of the law, older, which is a crucial. If you could message me where I can see that your logo can be viewed, and with date info, I'd be happy to take a look. I instantly were probably the first episode of the yard, jingle bells. There's a picture of me laughing at Aiden's gross belly. It's very funny. And I say, sure, here's the first episode of our podcast called The Yard. I said, whoever designed your logo, probably Googled the yard logo, and ours popped up, and they added elements. We also have designed docs from when we developed it with the designer that we hired. I know it's just a picket fence, but it's one to one our logo, and it's a brand that matters to me. And I said, also, genuinely, if you print out and feature my art at your event, and send me a picture of it displayed, you can keep the logo. I said this, and then I send them, we'll show it all the art on the screen. Yeah, and we showed it last week, but it's a great piece. And I said, this is my art. (laughing) And they reply, so I see the similarity of one part, which is the fence. The it's the logo. Which is fucking great. Which is the middle, the only logo element. Really? Yeah, the rest is just colors and text. But our logo was created prior to July 2021, which we have documentation of our purchase and the design from the professional graphic designer we hired. And they said, we are not mass producing any product with the logo, the t-shirts were only for our local artists. Why would you say that next? If you're also arguing. If you owned it. That you made it first. Yeah. I think to be fair, it's like, maybe they are just doing for staff shirts or whatever. So it's like, they're trying to say, like, we're not selling a bunch of shit. Sure. But it is, like, if they thought they owned it, they shouldn't care. Maybe you're just hedging for the timeline that you might not be certain about the timeline. Yeah. And then they said, and no, I'm not going to publish your anywhere in association with our event. But thank you for sharing it with me. I loved that. I loved that. But using my head, my first read of that was that was completely genuine, too. As, are you sure? I just draw another dick coming. I'm like, how about this one? I've made two of these, you reverse the image. And then so, so I said, can you show me proof of that? And they said, yes, but not today. This was a Thursday last week. The person who worked with the graphic artist is traveling, and when she returns, she will provide it to me, and I can set it to you. I said, OK, thank you. You understand my confusion at you saying it's from before our show, right? What this would mean is that we use the same graphic designer who submitted both designs to each of us independently. So they, which also the designer we used had several versions of this. The design, Ben, it's a process. So I developed the logo with our designer, and it was like done before that date, like, significantly before that date, because that was just the first episode. I mean, we even showed it in the-- And there was like trailer. There was like multiple different versions of it, and there was like, actually, the designer that we used had a logo type that we didn't use, a second designer created the type that we use. I think they should didn't create it. It's just a, it's literally just like an Adobe font or something. It's like a, it's like a free to use a Adobe font. But yeah, no, there's just no-- It would be an awesome plot twist if our designer stole it, right? Because there's a possibility that if they can find proof that in early 2021 or before they used this logo somewhere, right? Or even, I guess, just had it? Or no, they have to have used it somewhere that our designer could have stole it. Yes, which would be awesome. That's a very fun plot twist. It would be so-- the likelihood of them finding the same designer is so low, because I hired like a fucking firm from like an Eastern European country that I searched for the days for. Yeah, the guy who was named Igor. No, I wasn't. So they messaged me again, and it was like a day later. And they said, we've been using this logo since the beginning of our project almost five years ago. And I'm like, well, the art is almost five years ago. I have to confirm with the graphic designer where he actually completed the piece and where he got the image from. So now they're starting to wonder-- It's so-- ultimately, people have stolen our logo a lot of times. People have Googled yard logo, not knowing that we exist, because they're doing something yard related. Yeah, it's just in two nouns. And then it pops up. And it's like, oh, this is a nice-looking fence, because it's well designed to look up. The only reason I care now is because they're denied it. Yes, now we get to be right. I was on the street, I deep dive there. They have, like, I'm not kidding. They have like 100,000 Facebook posts. Like, it took me so long to get to the bottom, because there's no, like, jump to the bottom or sort of my oldest, you just scroll. Do we so much longer than you would think? I finally got to the bottom. And they have posts, like, in 2021 and in 2020. But the logo doesn't show up in any of their posts until September 2022. OK. One year after, our show hit the market. So there is the final piece of this saga so far is someone sent me a message on Twitter. And they said, I live on the island that does the monthly art and the yard thing. And I don't know how much the pot is influences. But in the past three days, they've been slowly taking down all the banners and signs with the logo on it. I used to pass, like, a dozen on my drive to bow jangles, and now they're all gone. And I think this person isn't nowhere, because it is on an island. Apparently, it's like some island and the North Carolina coast, where it's like probably affluent suburb nights. I'll send them the episode with Mr. Beast and say, we're owned by Mr. Beast Company. He needs that picture. Yeah. But it's still bark. [LAUGHS] And if you do not remove our logo, we're going to get Jimmy involved. We're going to get Jimmy involved. Jimmy's legal involved. And we're going to put you in a burning house. This is now when it is just saying directly to the person, you can put the signs back on up, just display my art. Just display my art. That's what I'm saying. I gave them an out. I gave them. You know what? We'll design merch for your event. We'll do all your events merch. And we'll help you sell it. Kind of if you display our art. Display the art. This is a very extreme of income. Is it not a little homophobic, too? Oh, what's so-- We're not going to be-- --spend a day taking down signs rather than just displaying a beautiful penis at an art show? I'm not going to display your art, but thanks for sharing. Well, if I come to the event and what if I do it at the event, will you display it then? I came to the event. If I show my art at the event, you know, different version of it, in a different medium, will you then let me show it to you? Just go to the art that you're having to come everywhere to go. If the choice was mine, instead of spending a whole day working hard, walking around town, taking signs down, I would just put the penis up. Just put the art up. Just put the penis up. Put the penis up. Put the penis up. Oh my god, it'd be so funny. If we fly there, we dress like G-Men, like suits, glasses, earpieces, and we just show up, and we just pretend. We don't say that we're FBI already. We don't impersonate anyone. We just act like we are. And we're checking out the logo on like a wall. And we're like, this is great. Do you know who-- Maybe? --move behind this, like this. No, who was a boss? So wait, wait, wait. We're G-Men. We're federal agents that are just interested in the world. And we're trying to get to the bottom of who designed it. And they clearly know who sent us. They started answering the questions. No, can you say it into the mic? Yeah. Yeah, or we just say-- every time they say something, we just write it on like therapists. Yeah. No, I just forget a lot of stuff. They did that clip of 6-9 saying he smashed his phone when the feds raided him, and he had all his phone numbers written down on paper. And they were like, why do you have a boyfriend? a bunch of phone numbers written down, and he's like, "I don't like phones." (laughing) - Duh. He's like, "I'm Nicki Minaj's number written down on a piece of paper." (laughing) - Sir, I'm dying out here, man. - You've been eating dog meat every day, and I know you're busy finding this war on my behalf. - Yeah, I had an ax buried into my skull yesterday. - But I think you could have a more complete meal. - I would love that. - Because this sucks. - Are you eating dog because you have such a busy morning, you're sharpening your ax, and then you're infining your rear. - We're extremely busy, there's too much to do. We have to make the arrows. We have to get the ax out of my head. - There's not too much to do that you couldn't drink some fuel. What are you talking about? - What's fuel? - What's fuel? - I mean, that's shit. (groaning) - Oh God, well, that's fuel. - What is this container, it's in. - He was a complete meal. It's inside of an awesome container. - We don't have this. - Yeah, it's recyclable plastic, is what I, if I had to guess. And it has all the nutrients that you need to thrive. - Sire. - What's the nutrient? - There's some fiber in there, and I know you've been, I've been seeing some wet poops in the latrines, in the trenches. Lord knows you need to clean those up. - Yeah. - So the fiber in there, I'll help you with that. - That's a nutrient with that, man. - I don't know if fiber is either, but this is really good. - Well, there's 27 vitamins and minerals, I know, that's gonna also sound foreign to you, but our Lord made those, our Lord made vitamin. - Oh! - They come from the sky. - Aha, aha, what is chocolate? - Well, today, you can get healed for 15% off. - Yeah, it won't be chocolate. And don't be afraid, don't be afraid of chocolate, or fire, which is coming next. With this exclusive offer for new customers only, with Kodiard, at huel.com/yard. - Did you drink the rest of it? - Yeah. - It's a minimum of a $75 purchase to get the 15% off, so you can go to huel.com/yard. - Huel.com/yard. - You can get your own huel, so you don't have to drink and finish your friend's bottle that he was enjoying. - Yeah, use this vessel for other things. It's not a vessel, it's a plastic, it's plastic. - Chainmail, I can't hear you. Anyway. - Back to the episode. Thanks, huel. - I was watching Seinfeld, and I watched Jerry find someone's number in a book of phone numbers, and I was like, the world's different. - The world's different now. - My mom had one too. - My granny still does that. That's old people shit. She walks up to the phone, 'cause she uses the home phone, mainly, she walks up, opens a drawer, takes out a notepad that she stores all of her contacts, and then types in the phone number from the notepad, makes the phone call. - What a shitty asshole, your grandma. - The Indian drill rapper, she's probably talking to one, three hours a day on that thing. (laughing) - She's like, I was gay, I was gay with a nice young man, half of my savings. - Yeah, so turn it into a three-time job. - You got to redeem, and I didn't. - Stop giving your RBC account number to the ban on the cash transfer. - It was very easy. - It was very easy. (laughing) - Pre-paid cards. - There was seven of them in the room. - Oh my god, dude. If my mom didn't die, I think there's, I think a lot about her trajectory of like, 'cause she died before Trump happened. She died most for Obama happened, and she didn't really give a shit. She's like, life sucks no matter what, who doesn't matter what president is, and I was like, you're right, my good bitch. And I was like, I was thinking like, I wonder if Trump would've made sense to her, dumbass. Or maybe my dad, he, I remember he was in the like, 2020, he's like, I like Bernie. Bernie's a crazy guy. (laughing) I like the crazy guy. - Yeah. - And I'm like, some people are just, but he can't, he can vote 'cause he's connected, felon, so. What are you gonna do? - What are you gonna do, man? - You can't do damn shit about nothing. I would've been happy walking away from all this. I think I still would be happy. They could keep the logo if we could sell their whole thing as like a tie-dye t-shirt. - No, let's just do it. - We could just do it. - Why don't we just, what are they gonna do? - Yeah, I can't say this last episode, and we said the link is below and we never did it. - We didn't do it. - We're gonna do it. - But I do wanna do it. - Don't take it this way. - We're gonna put it in hindsight in that episode. - Let's do it. - Why not? - He's all jeered up right now. This is guy who smokes, we should make a movie. - No. (laughing) - And in an hour, it's like, I'm tired. - No, you guys are on the show right now. - I'm kinda serious. - Let's do it. - Dude, no, I know you want to, but I don't know if I will later. - I'm gonna be so tired. - Why don't you come and go, let's draft up their logo on a shirt, and then send it in the conversation and say, "Would you guys be okay with us selling this shirt?" (laughing) - And see what they say. - What we could do, would it? - I hear, we felt bad and we wanted to give you a couple passes on a new logo. - We sent them back this same thing, but it's just undefeated in the middle of it. (laughing) - You guys can use this. (laughing) - This was one of our backup options. - She just types TS tough, isn't it? - She's a wilted rose emoji. (laughing) - So yeah, we'll see what happens with that saga. I hope to hear back, I'll be like, sorry, I'm in France traveling right now. - Sorry, we were taking our business to France right now. - I was in premium economy to France. (laughing) - My husband booked me in premium. - For flying second class. - Oh, this shit on my wrist. I'm not even worried about it. - It's on my wrist. - This is a saco. (laughing) - That's a Northern life $400. - I got your weekly rent on my wrist. (laughing) - Yeah, you know what I was like. Yeah, I opened, I just opened YouTube and one of the recommended streams it was feeding me is just this like live feed of the Manhattan city skyline from like Queens or something. It just runs 24 hours a day. - It was like catch another event, too. And I was like, this guy has got to be like begging for 9/11 app again. Just sitting there, just frothing for the day. He's like, a plane does like flying above the skyline. He's like, oh, oh, like why else do you have that? You're just hoping for a helicopter crash or some terrible event, I feel like. - It's like, there were, I don't know, people still do this. They probably do, but there was just like, Bakersfield police scanner guy who would just listen to police scanner and then drive to where cops were and just hang out and just live stream it. And he was really, like cops hated him. - Yeah. - 'Cause they're like, we're just, we responded to this. What are you doing here? He's like, I'm just looking and it's like, it's funny for both, like they're both like weirdos. - But this is like, just slightly more tolerable night crawler. - Yeah, yeah, first 10 viewers. - Chase, they were out and yelling at the criminal. - You don't have to tell him that. Know your rights. - Oh my God, coaching. - No, he's holding his cellphone at him. - Oh God, that's, yeah, that's just literally getting over the shoulder coach than a lead game is getting arrested. And someone's like, you don't have to say anything. You can be quiet right now. - Those guys are so cool. - The sovereign citizens? - Yeah, they're just really cool. - It's weird because they have so much confidence. - You gotta be so bored and so wealthy. - No, they're, dude, a lot of people are getting-- - They don't work all day. - No, I don't think they're, I don't think they're wealthy. - How do they, they don't have a job all day? What do they do? - No, cool, you can't, you can't be on that shit and have a lot to lose. - Yeah, bro. Like, you're wealthy. Do not fuck with the cops for fun. - I feel like they've got, they've got some, they're sitting on some sort of weird trust fund and they hate the fucking cops in there. - No, it's people in like libertarian coded counties that just wanna limit test to the police for it, but it's funny 'cause the sovereign citizens are so annoying that when the cops beat them up, in a way you kind of are like, yeah, you were egging that guy on, but then the cops also will cop. So it's like, you want him to blow his head off with a shotgun. So it's like, it's weird. It's like everyone you know is fighting and that you hate. - Yeah, the two least favorite guys in the world. - Yeah, and they're just going at it. - But, you know, you know, Scott, our friend Scott? - Yeah, I know Scott. - You guys don't know Scott. Scott, we don't know Scott. - We don't know Scott. - I always do this joke 'cause I forget that you guys met him, but he's a public defender and he says. - We met Scott so many times. - He says those people that pull the, like the granular line-by-line sovereign citizen law shit, they usually get off. It's only when they fuck up their own and they convict themselves by accident or they like, what do you call it? They incriminate themselves. - Oh yeah. - But a lot of times they get off. So. - Do you guys love that there's so many videos of those guys are driving and the cops like, you know what I pulled you over and he's like, I don't talk. They're like, like something. The window is like this. - The window is like literally like a piece of paper. It's like the exact thickness of your license. And he's like, can you roll the window down and you're like, huh? Sorry, no, I can't. - It's so funny. - A mixture of like, can't hear you and also I can hear you just fine to the crack. - Yeah, I'll put this as what? - No, no, no, no, I'm not discussing my day. - Then the cop, like, the cop goes like a step, they're like, I'm gonna break the window. And he's like, go ahead, do it. Go ahead, do it. And they break the window. - They broke. - What the fuck? - They broke. - Bro, which is, it's like bolder than, it's like, yeah. Why are you breaking the window? But I feel like the next level of that is pedophile hunter. Like the guy who's like, they've got the whole car rig ready for a cop to pull them over. Like they didn't just start the phone. It's like, they're ready to be filmed inside their cars. - Yeah, there's three angles. - It's like a fake taxi. The next step is the guy who is pedobading and going to target. - Yeah, pretty much. What is that? - Dude, there was that body cam of the guy and the cop who, there was like a woman that he arrested and she's like, I'll fuck you right now in the back seat. She's like, I'll fuck you right now, don't care. And he's like, can't be talking like that. He's like, I'll fucking suck your dick right now. And then he just turns off his body camera. (laughing) - That's crazy. - And then, and then he had sex with someone he arrested. Which is insane. (laughing) - So what? - Yeah, they got fired. - They don't do anything. - He probably got fired. - We put on paid leave, so it's all right. - If I was about to retire, yeah, you got to go out like that somehow. - I mean, sex was so many arrests and going on paid. - You got to go on paid leave for that. - You have to go on paid leave. You cannot just go on on paid. Can't leave these people not paid. - You go on paid leave. - If you don't pay them on the leave, they just, they get out there, they start killing more dogs. (laughing) - There you go. - Yeah. - Big girl. - They get old riled up. You got to keep them paid. - It's the, it's the all sitting street reaper. But he's only just killing people's dogs. - He's got three little dog treats etched into his shirt. He's got three little confirmed kills. - See this guy pulling, he's growing up. He kind of went crazy and he started feeding people's dogs, poison meat. - Okay. - This fuck crazy. - That helps, no. - He had the hottest girlfriend. Oh my God. (laughing) - What is poison meat? - His point. - Minecraft, like poison meat? - He would like poison hamburger meat with some poison that he knew would kill a dog. - Do you think this is? - And he would throw it over the fence. - We make poison meat for dogs. It's from chocolate. Let's give him chocolate. - You want to be away from this being a perfect slime story. Like if you, it's like, - It's all true. - And he had the hottest girlfriend. - All the shit is true. - And his little brother Derek was my best friend. He was the funniest guy I knew. (laughing) That's where one beat away. - No, I think I said this before, but the rumor at school and elementary school was that his dad drove a semi. (laughing) - And so, so some folks are in a rumor. - I know, I heard that a rumor. - 'Cause we didn't know. And no one was, no one was, like he was kind of scary out of talk to you. - I heard his dad has like a really normal job. - Yeah, well no, 'cause like, sometimes there'd be a semi at school and it's a cute truck. It's scary and it'd be like, that's post dad. I bet that's post dad. - And that's not any more compelling. - Yeah, and then he chilled out. He got way more normal. - After poisoning the dogs. - Oh, he was, he was poisoning the dogs. - Well, he got it out of his system. - 15, 16, dog. - He got, he got like crack a few eggs. - Yeah. - Crack a few eggs. - Also, I just heard this was going on, but it's a weird thing to make up. - It is a weird hometown. - So it's like this guy, Colin. I remember Colin, this first time I heard the word socialist, is 'cause he was ripping a bong. And he ripped this like blue, genie bong. He was like, (murmuring) clears it. And he's like, "Kimful for Obama, bro, he's a socialist." (laughing) And I was like, "What's that?" - About a time as that's been said after a bong group. (laughing) - It was crazy. - Well, I'm thinking voted for no damn Romney. I'll say that much. Wait, it was John McCain. But yeah, so both turned out fine. Ruffin was so goddamn beautiful. And it was great. - How do you pull that? - He was just briz. That I killed dog, Riz. - I think in a small town, you take what you can get through. And it's all good, man. Like he was-- - If his job has anything to do with like steel or wood or any sort of material, it's just, yes, what's happened? - Strong hands. - Six children, strong. - You don't have women love your hands. - Women have strong hands? They look funny guys. - And they love, they love fucking getting mad at their best friend. - Oh, and not telling them that they're mad at their best friend. You know who else they love? Clark Kent, that dumbass bitch. That dumbass bitch who's on the podcast right now. - He thought he was off being suit man. - Someone said in the premium that there was a Ludwig 1v3, clean 1v3, and I was like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? - They all, people who watch this show, they hate when a group of right people talk to a wrong person. - No, they're fucking bad. - I don't like that. - Literally. - He's being fucking bad. - I don't like that since then. - They remind them of the world. - Sometimes the one guy is right. Sometimes the one guy. - They're both their parents being like, we need you to get a real job. - Like what the fuck is this? I mean, ganged up on. - I mean, ganged up on right now. - Dude, I can't even pass, 'cause Ludwig fucking stupid bastard shit heads not here. I fucking smoked him so bad. - He smoked. - I drove down to fast 52, did my job and left. - Can I be honest with you? - I almost pissed laughing at that clip. - I watched the clip the first, when you rip at the first time again. And I genuinely, at the end of the video, I thought he's born to do this. (laughing) - I showed the clip on the first part. - I showed the clip on the stream and someone, someone in chat said, slime runs like an action figure come to life. (laughing) - Yeah, someone said I run like half a full diaper. (laughing) - Dude, I don't, I run so crazy, but this is anything happened with the Olympic video. I just, I think after friends, I'm just gonna get a fucking guy to fix me. I'm just gonna get a coach and say, fix me, help me run normal. 'Cause I run every week. You guys might be surprised. - Is that the only thing he's fixing? - What are you talking about? - No, I just, is it easy to be focused on running? - Go ahead, piece of shit. What would you fix about me? - No, I'm just, go ahead. - Go ahead, I don't know how to fix it. - I'd make your balls full all the time for me. - Probably the running. - Dude, you're such an eater, that blew my mind. 'Cause like crazy. - When we eat food, slime finishes as food first. - Yeah. - It's a classic slime thing. Eat as food first. He might even leave before you're done eating. Sometimes he goes, all right, I'm going home. And I'm like, I thought we were, I thought we were hanging out. But I didn't think that that necessarily translated the competition, the fact that no one in that group, those were the people who volunteered. - They thought I can eat pretty fast. - They thought I can probably eat pretty fast. That, you're an eater. What is that? When did you learn this? Have you always had it? - I've always eaten really fast. It's a great question, thanks for asking. (laughing) - It's like four microphones that they like box and see on it. - Yeah, I'm just shuddering. - Shuddering, I'm just going on. - You. (laughing) - I miss slime. Yeah, so I've always eaten really fast. Here's the thing about hot dog eating. And let me break this down. I've eaten four now, very competitively, very fast. - In my life. - And eating the hot dog meat shouldn't take you very long. You chew it and you fucking swallow it. And I don't know why that's hard. - It would take me a while. - The bun slows you down. That's why when you put a bun in water, it essentially turns into liquid and you can swallow it like water. That's the trick. But if you do it too much, if you soak it too much, it falls apart in your hands and now you have a proper situation on your hands. - There's a balance. - There's a balance. But I could probably eat 10 raw hot dogs in like, I think less than 20 seconds. - Wait, I believe that. - 10 hot dogs. - 10 raw hot dogs. - All right, I think you could do it in less than 30. - Wait, wait. No way. - I promise you. - No, the same, Nick. - Nick, I promise you. - Are we gonna bring it out to the eater? I think you'd do it in less than 30. - I'll Uber eat them right here. - Less than 30. - I will order them and they will get here before the episode's over. And you could do it right now. - 10 of them do it. - I'll do it right now. - I'm not kidding. - That's a lot of hot dogs. That's a lot of hot dogs. We got like 30 minutes. - We got 30? - We're fine. - Or we could do it on the primo. - Uh. - Yeah. - Paywall it. - You know what? Just focus on it and we'll see. But I can't, I watch me 10 hot dogs, Patreon. - Oh yeah, we'll do it on the Patreon. I can't stress how confident I am. - Wait, you said 20 seconds. - 20 seconds. - You need to feel that. I throw it up right away. I don't want to eat them. - I feel good. - It's too much salt. - You're just gonna throw it up? - Yeah, just to show you guys. - It's like a magician. (laughing) - Okay. - It's not like a magician. - It's not like the prestige. - And then I eat 10 hot dogs. - I'm rolling. (laughing) - He's like, he's like, he's like blowing vape smoke on his sleeve and like a little hot dog comes out. (laughing) It's like, cut to pen and tell her. And they're like, (laughing) - He's doing this and a hot dog is just emerging from fit air. - Yeah. Dude, the last, when I saw Shin Lim, he had like some American Idol guys sing a song on stage while he did magic. (laughing) But what if I'm there and I'm just eating hot dogs? To the stage tonight with Shin Lim. - You would be slime. - You would be a dope opener. Like if we got you to like open a baby no money show or something, we call on like one of our favors. And it's like now slime eating 10 hot dogs in 20 seconds. - That'd be so crazy. (laughing) - Oh, that is such an insane thing. It's funny too, 'cause if you do something like that on a stage, there are people in the crowd that just want to fuck you. It's so, - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's just like the human condition of like, well, that guy's important. - And if you do anything on stage, you can have sex after. - Yeah, anything. - Anything. - It's wrong. - Anything. - Anything. - People were trying to suck Charlie Kirk Dan Dick. - Mm-hmm. - And now he's getting his dick sucked in heaven. - Yep. - I was getting dick sucked by the Lord. - And now he's getting dick sucked by the Lord, 'cause he was such a good Christian. - He was such a good Dan Christian. Now that the Lord is sucking on his dick. (laughing) - I was like, oh, when I rolled up, when I rolled up, I opened the gate and Anthony was outside. He was like, he's like, "Mr. Wayne." - Yeah. - And I was so shook up. I was so shook up. I was like, well, my balls were drained from lemonade stand. But I got to the door and I was like, Alfred, in my head, I was like, Alfred, I need you to come in and beat me up. (laughing) I need you to, Alfred, I'm getting you to, I need to come in the next 30 days. (laughing) - Dude, I bet Alfred gets really good at what he does. - Oh, yeah. - I guess I'm just a fucking hell. - Why'd you suck in the middle? - Bail. - Bail? - I'm fucking France. - Oh. - Does it make you sad? - Yeah. - Yeah, we want you to come, man, we want you to come. - Don't, no, don't do that. You know what's funny is, we don't even have a place to stay yet. - What? - We have a place. - We got a fucking figure out. Airbnb canceled my account. I don't know why. - Airbnb, there was a place that was like gorgeous. Like literally most gorgeous place. It was a shit. the cheapest place on Airbnb. Yeah, I was like, I don't know, it says it houses 10 people, it's on a lake. And it's like so abusive. I'm like, we're obviously booking this. It's cheaper than everything else. Everything else was so butt ass. Book it, the guy's like, it's not available. I'm like, well, that's why it's up. Cause people probably keep trying to book it. And it's not available. As you're not allowed to sleep in the house, they don't want to marry. We'll see, maybe we're gonna have to fucking. They fucking cancel my Airbnb, I don't know why. I got an email, they said we're closing your account. I haven't used it in a year. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not turning tricks like that fucking woman outside the fucking inner shack that she made. I thought it even made up. I was at the wedding. And I looked at my phone, I saw you said that. I showed it to this woman. It's a woman turning tricks. Is it women in STEM? (screaming) This is good. Yeah, dude. It's fucked up for this. It's this new homeless woman that's in near the encampment that is near our studio. And she built that house very close to the studio. The closest at house. I'm gonna be so clear, this shit's not a tent. It's not a tent, it's a house. It's a house. There's like, somehow she found like a big door. Yeah. There's like a door. But basically there's always like two guys standing outside kind of waiting and they're always looking around. So she's either selling drugs or she's turning tricks. And I don't think she's selling drugs because I don't think, I don't know. If you watch the podcast in your cop for every, for the 40 feet vicinity around our building is the gay zone. And if you show up in here. And if you show up your. And there's like, there's, there's no dogs here. So it's like, you wouldn't even, you wouldn't come. There's that little one. They're gonna turn it into a blood stain. Dude, he's not, he's not here. They are going to satellite strike that little dog. Oh my God. Yeah, Collagen reinforced. Oh my God. Oh my God. There's two dogs. There's two dogs. One was a puppy, one was bigger and older, and they're the same breed. And the little guy for a while last year was just fucking on the other dog a lot in our neighborhood. Found out. That's good eats. That's his mom. No way. He's fucking his mom. He's fucking on his mom. Oh my God. Found out from the neighborhood that that's his mom. Yeah. It was so funny because the woman who told me this came out of her building and she was looking at it. And she's like, she's kind of shaking her head and looking at it. That's all right. And she was just like, and then I went over to her to talk to her about something else. And she's like, they just shouldn't be doing that. She's right. What do you want me to do? Dude. Oh that sucks. There was a homeless encampment that, it was near my girlfriend's house that they had chickens. I think they were slaughtering chickens. They were also selling drugs. And I don't think they were turning tricks because there was nowhere to do it. But there was like, there were security guys. It was funny. Guys that work security for like casinos or shows, they come up and they're like their safety vests. Yeah. And they come and they show up and then they leave very quickly after putting something in their pocket. And I'm like, alright, he just copped. But there's also chickens. Like these people are raising chickens and I think slaughtering them, which is kind of crazy. There used to be the RV that was here for a long time. The RV was here for a long time. They were selling meth out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they got a bolt. Yeah. The constant cracking down a bit. Wow. Mr. White. Mr. White. Mr. White is not cool. It's not right. Mr. White. Mr. White. You shouldn't be doing that, Mr. White. Just let him fucking. Just let him fucking walk. I am the one who fucked my mom. We need to do this. I need to explain. I need to explain. It's not playing, bro. It's fucking the pilot's gone. No, no, no. I was making this joke. I was making this joke that our neighborhood's going to shit, man. Because. No, because we have much homeless people. We've had homeless people the whole time. They've been here long before. They were so everybody who lived around this building. It was a very nice chill community. Nice cars in New England. It's real. And it's so changed in the last six months. I don't know what it is. But all of a sudden. The police. The packages started again stolen. And the cops started arresting people at polling cars. What happened to the old nice encampment that I used to know? So I think what the encampment did wrong is they would have really big bonfires. I'm realizing what the problem is. That was a problem. No, no, no, no. I'm realizing what the change is. The ice cream truck stopped coming. Did it? Did the ice cream truck hasn't been showing up to the office? No, it was at the school. It was at the school like a little bit ago. No, but it doesn't roll around here. It used to roll through our street. Yeah, it used to come straight through. It used to come straight through. I used to come straight through. Dude, is that is the ice cream truck the harbinger of order and peace? Yeah. Everybody has a reason to live. That little SpongeBob ice cream with the fucked up gumball eyeballs. Yeah, he's all melton weird. That's why I said that guys dick looked like on the subreddit. I put that guy in an elimination interview. It looked kind of like one of those like sandy cheeks. They did. They need to turn Ned and Yahoo and the one that melted sonic ice creams. Mm hmm. And he can get that guy. Dude, that was it when I won the hot dog race. It was funny because right before that there was, you see the donations for fast fifty two, which was a great event by the way. But I'll never tell Ludwig that because he's not fucking here. True. And it said, I was sitting there just waiting for the hot dog to start. It just said 250 dollars arrest Netanyahu. And I know what they wanted to say. Yeah. Because the thing on Twitter is Netanyahu. That's what that's what everyone says. This is going, this is a thing on. Well, that's the thing on Twitter. That's a hashtag. But they couldn't put that probably because there's some sort of fucking draconian language filter. And but after the hot dog race, I said arrest Netanyahu. And I still can't use it. Tell me came up to me after he's like, so that one's a bit tough. And I'm like, all right, man. Ludwig at the UN meeting. Can we all just fucking get along? I don't know. Should all just be pogged. Yeah, the United Arab Emirates guy at the UN Security Council. He's like, who's the fucking fat guy? Maybe that makes it glue. He's not the fuck. I mean, he's something. Dude, we've been goofing on fucking League of Legends for goddamn week straight. We fucking suck. We're good. Don't say wait. No, me and him. I'm just talking about you. I'm a good bulls. I don't give a shit. You're not a good boy. You've run it down a fucking counter strike. You make fun at yingling for fucking Q and Yusuf. Yeah, cause that's sacks of doom in his elo. All he does, dude, yingling isn't a pissiest of moods. He logs on and he's so mad because his friends run it down in counter strike. And he's not there to carry. But do something about my ace this morning. You had an ace this morning in the AM. This morning, cause I fucking, you know, I had a bunch of time. I had a bunch of time. Lord knows I had time this morning. Lord knows that. Time I carved out. Yawn, dude. Yawn. We didn't do the podcast early. Probably better. It is funny, though, because yingling has, this is the stage that we went through is yingling would see me play counter strike. And he was like, I'll play with you if he buy me a skin. And I was like, I'm not going to buy you a skin. I don't. I would just say play a counter strike if you want to play counter strike. And then you would come over to me every day. It's like, just buy me a knife. Just buy me a skin. Yeah, yingling wants him to buy it and just let him hold it. No, but he had to be negotiated down. And he's like, what if you bought the skin and you still owned it, but I just borrowed it. And then I would be like, no, it hasn't changed my opinion about that. So we go about two months, two months of this process to which he just caves and starts playing counter strike. He's like, he kept gambling. Like, I'll learn some lineups if you give me the skin. I'll play more if you give me the skin. And now we just play no skin involved whatsoever. You held out. That's the art of the deal. He's your Discord kitten. But what happens is my Discord kitten, when I get offline, and I don't like this, and I'm thinking about kind of bringing the hammer down on this, is he disappears. This man hops back into the lobby, and his yellows gone down 2000 points. And it's because he's cute with the poop lot. Dude, the poop lot, he will say like, he tells me stories about it. And he's like, yeah, I just went nonverbal. And then I just ran it down to the game with end. And he's in a game with four of his friends. That's so cool. When I rolled up, when we were about to, I came into the office and he's playing counter strike. And he's down. He's at his desk. And he's, he does this thing when he's sad. Is he, you know, when Yingling's gaming and he's super attentive, he's very locked in. When you're straight back at the computer, very focused. And I walk in. Dark room. He's fully lean back in the chair. And he's just going, he's just moving his arms a little bit. I look at the score. They're down 10-2. Dude, and then I'm older eating my fucking, my food. And I just hear Aiden start laughing in Yingling's face. Because he turned around and he looked at me. He looked up, he looked up like this. And he just, he just rolled, he just shook his head, left back and forth. I left the room for two more minutes. I came back, he lost the game 13-2. - Dude, gaming is so back. - Gaming's back in every corner of the world. - That's why I don't want to go to France. There's no reason to fucking go to France. - No, we can go to the awesome vitality esports lounge and we can play there. - Do you mean it? - No, first night. - I didn't have Paris. - I did have fun. - Wait, is it still there, you think? - Probably, that team's doing well. - Oh my god. - Wait, we can also go to EVO France. - Oh, that's the following weekend, right? - No, I think it's this weekend. - No, I'm stupid as fuck. I'm stupid as fuck. - Why don't you guys, you guys should be excited. - Fuck, you're fucking bailing for no reason. - If I can teleport there and teleport back, I'd be excited, but I just don't want to travel. I don't want to go on the plane rides. - You're turning into me, bitch. Oh my god, you're gonna get so into Roman two years. It's so pathetic how you're just like me. And you're fucking just like me too. You, you let people in chat just like I do. - I like this. - I actually enjoy this. - Oh my god, I enjoy this. - Because once every 50 times that you do it. But you see, someone was like, can you make slime play again in the race? And you're like, what am I gonna make him do anything? Why would I make my friend do anything? - Where? - You don't know what he's, what he wants. - He was in that clip, I read what the guy said. He said something like, he's a glaze. It was just glazed. - Yeah, here's what he said, 'cause I have it saved. (laughing) 'Cause when you show signs of me, I feel inspired. - 'Cause I you. - 'Cause you want us to turn into you so bad. - I just want to be justified 'cause you guys point-lab me like a fucking walk out every fucking day of my life. You're like, you're so fucking mad at crepe people and shit. - It's a lockout. - It's because you are the lockout. - You're a fucking lockout. - You're a lockout. (laughing) - Put a basketball in your hand. - Hey there. - And put an element against you and you're a fucking lockout. - I think that's like a wall deer. Some sort of nimble thin creature. - A wall gazelle? - Yeah, wall gazelle. - I you go, bro. That guy was like, do you think that people in the games that you get in just FF because your name is so funny? - Oh my God, that dude is really excited. - You are a dick writer. (laughing) How do you not see that? (laughing) And I'm like, yeah. - That should be my- - But if I said that, I'm a fucking lockout. - That should be my sub notification. (laughing) - I was gonna use my- - Oh, use it, use it, use it. It's better, I don't know where I'm going. - Yeah. - How do you not see that? - You don't see that. (laughing) And I'm like, yeah, yes, yes. - No, it's different. - Yeah, bitch. 'Cause even some people be like, damn, you played six games today or you played 12 games today and no LP game and you're like, why would I want to read that? Why would I want to read that? And I'm like, yeah, why would you want to fucking read it? Is that nice? - Yeah, so someone gets some of the subs and they're just like, cut your hair. And I'm like, thanks. Appreciate that. - I was talking to Squeaks at FAS-52 'cause he's like so resilient to all this shit. - Oh yeah. - And I was like, what is it, man? What makes you different? He's like, I just think it's fun. (laughing) I was like, you love this, you love streaming, you love going live, he's like, I fucking love it. - Wow. - And I'm like, that's goat. - That's goat. - That's fucking goat right there. He's such a bright star of a man. - Dude, the other day I was, I think yesterday I was streaming and I forgot I was streaming while streaming. - That's bad. - It was only for like 10 seconds. But I, for a moment, I was just playing Lee Legends and I was like, oh, I'm streaming. - That's so, I just forgot. It could never ever happen to me. - I was just so like lost in the game. I was just like, I was like, oh my god, I'm streaming right now. People can see me right now. - Were you losing or winning? - Probably losing, if I had to guess. - Interesting. - I'm probably when I'm winning, I'm way less focused. - Yeah, there's a more time to feel yourself, look at the chat, make a joke, ski bears. No, no, no, man. But I'm 35. - Yeah. - I know a secret. - I said it earlier. - Shut up, Aiden. - So, what I wanna say is that when you guys, one day you'll be 35 or you won't. - Well, what tips do you have for us? - Don't say tip. - Don't say tip to the low cow. - There's no mouth. (laughing) - Don't say tip, what advice do you have for two, 30, almost 30, some things? - Yeah. - Well, in a way. - What did you learn when you entered your 30s? - I learned. - I remember when you entered your 30s 'cause I took a photo of you. - The photo? - You took a portrait of you for your 30s. - Well, the 30th birthday is when I decided to go bald. - Oh, look at that, right. - Yep. - I was like, fuck this. - When you gave up. - No, hold on the shit. - Gave up. - Vanessa, I wasn't as ubiquitous as it is now. - I can get that shit in a, you can get that shit in a candy now. - You can get that shit in your McDouble, bro. O-Zempick, Vanessa, I had McDouble double with Chi. - I'm trying to download that. - Western Bacon Chi. My advice for you, you chuckle heads? - I think that you start to really feel the fact that it's not gonna be, like you will die one day. You will. And it starts to really drive the things that you do. And my advice is, don't let it make you scare. Just let it use that as energy to actually do stuff. - Yeah, I don't think I've ever been afraid of dying. - I'm very afraid of other people dying. - That's so pathetic. That's a pathetic pussy thing to be afraid of. - Why? - You're a pussy. - Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I guess I'm a pussy. - You're a fucking pussy. - Okay, I didn't think that. - You're a fucking one. - Come out now. - Why would you be afraid of Aiden dying? - You're a lot of us. - You're a lot of us, Aiden. - This is so a prank. - This whole, this blue in the city, the whole thing. The clown, we have a clown probably, if mine, you don't mind me, come. - Oh my god, that'll spread. - You know what my voice also is? Take care of your back. - Take care of your back, I'm not kidding. - Like how? - In your house. - The posture stretches, don't slouch. Real shit. - I guess it's just a slouchy lull cow. - You are a slouching lull cow. - Your posture is fucked up. Dude, we make fun of the way you sit when you can't hear us. All the time. 'Cause you have your big stupid headphones on and you're pointed like a political cartoon. Like you know how, you know the features? Is it for good? You just look at any political cartoon with a person in it. - Librarian. - How is it? - Librarian political cartoon. Oh my god. - Yeah. Yeah, you just, like a-- - It's the back hunch. - Dude, is that a supreme jacket? Would you tire the creator? What is this shit? - The Supreme Sweater. - It's just a sweater. - It's a, it does happen to be supreme. - No more a chainmail. I'm more a chainmail, I can beat the shit out of you. - I bought another thrift store. - That's what, that's what puts a lot of stuff in perspective with me, with you. - What? - Is that you, no matter how much like fucking money you spend on stupid ass clothes. - It's cost $50 or how, right? - Really? - Yes. - For a supreme. - The Supreme is not all expensive. - They felled off. - No, this happened. - Do you buy a fucking 50-hours sweater? You think you're all that? And you have a fucking Apple watch. No, this is fucking dumb shit in your life. But the thing is dude, I could beat the shit out of you. I could beat the shit out of you. And you couldn't do anything about it. - No, you couldn't, I'm a fucking punch, I would punch you. - You would punch you? And then I'd start, which would push you back, it wouldn't knock you out. It would push you back enough. And then I'd start peeing on you. And you wouldn't know what to do. And then I would, I would piss on you, like Miles Taylor pissed on me in that dream. - You'd piss on me, and you fucking get all mad that I'm peeing on you. And then I'd call you a fucking lol cow. And I'd say you'd drink by piss, lol cow. And I would win to fight. - I would win to fight. - You could take him in a wrestling match. - In a wrestling match? - You got the long arms. - Yeah, I think the long arms might help. - The fuck is a long arm gonna do when I break it in two? - It's wrestling, you don't get to break his arms. - I get to do whatever I want. - No, it's wrestling, it's wrestling, there's rules. - What are you talking? What's the rules? - A high school wrestling, wrestling? - Well, okay, he's trying to restrain me with his arm. I use my force to break his arm. And then you'd be like, okay, Aiden wins by technicality 'cause he just broke his arm. - The guy with the broken arm is not winning, anything. - Yes, if you, you're gonna say, fine, you can say whatever you want. If you say, oh, that guy won and he's holding his arm screaming? I'm like, okay, fine, I'm a loser, I guess. - It's like, it's like if you're boxing and you kick someone in the nuts and they keel over. You can't be like, I won the boxing match. - You broke the rules. - That's different, you don't hit someone in the nuts. - You don't hit someone in the nuts. You just don't do that. - You don't do anything in the rules. - You don't break someone's arm. - That's like the spiritual rule of humanity. But if it's wrestling and he's trying to kill me with wrestling. - So our spiritual rule is a humanity cow here, but not the rules in the game. - I would never hate you when the nuts, but I'd break your fucking arm instantly. - Okay. - If I had to. - But you can't, if I'm peeing on you from a distance, there's no way you get to my arm. - This peace strategy, I feel like it would just make me more mad. - Yeah, but I'm also mentally shaking you 'cause I'm calling you a low cow while you do it. - I'm just getting really hesitant. Yeah, I will say this, if you aimed the pee into my mouth, I think it's like a boss eye and I go down. - Do you know when you really don't like that? - You know when you play Super Mario Sunshine and you're fighting like Petey Braunen, you kind of get the, you aim the flood and you have to hit it into his mouth over and over again. I'm paysharing that's what it would be like. - If you piss in my mouth, you win. This is so embarrassing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then I'd stop you. - And then I'd go round pound your belly. - I think if you piss in anyone's mouth, you win no matter what you're doing. - Yeah, there's a lot of power. - Universal constant of life. In a debate, you pee in their mouth? - Oh my God. - In a debate. - Do you think that's what the US, when they vote on the Gaza thing at the UN Security Council, do you think the US rep is actually just, he's peeing and everybody's mouth fast enough and that's why it's unmistakable. Somehow one to 19 or whatever, we keep getting away. with it. Maybe that's why. Yeah, we're just, we have the best pissers. Yeah. I'm sure some piss tastes good. A hundred percent. It'll be bad. Well, I think I told this before, but one time me and my friend made a concoction of like almond extract and things we thought would get us drunk. And then our Pete smelled like sweet, delicious butter. Like, it smells really good. Do you have sweet pea if you have like, it's been deal with your diabetes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you have like a disorder or like bad blood diseases, you're gonna have sweet pea. Oh, because your kidneys because your kidneys are doing the work. Yeah. Or no. Wait. Yeah. What? Okay. What if for the final episode of the yard when you go and leave the sweeten, we all drink each other's pee. I'll do that. Cheers to us. I love how he's like, where I'm going. This is just this is just a regular orange juice with your breakfast, maple syrup, urine disease. Okay. Okay. Okay. I have a theory. This is I'm not I'm dead ass. I'm I'm dead ass. Okay. My best friend growing up. That's good. He's type one diabetes. His dad has type one diabetes. I spent maybe half of my time between six and 12th grade at his house or like maybe six and like 10th grade because they were like my second family. Every weekend, we'd like stay up, we'd play like Yu-Gi-Oh, we'd play video games. That was like where our friend group landed. Dude, his house smelled like maple syrup all the time. I'm dead ass. Okay. It smelled like a thick maple syrup for years. And I wonder if it has to do with that. Are you still in touch with this year, man? Yeah. He was the guy who's wedding. I just went to. No way. Yeah. And the smell, it smelled like that for maybe like five or six years. We'd imply that they're like not less in the toilet though. I feel like maybe it's it. Yeah, that's why it seems weird, right? Because if it only has to do with pee, then like you think it's like a cabinet of like jelly donuts and stuff at their eating. Like this is strong. That's what it has right now. No, that's that's only if you get the factor jelly donut planner. That's it. Lutter right now in his medicine cabinet is just jelly donuts and he just grabs one and eats it on the toilet. Yeah. Well, it takes a dump. The type one and type two folk have beef with each other. Yeah, I think one of them type. Type one people each got to let you go. If you got type two, it's a bit of stolen value. It is 100%. Yes. Type one people are probably like fuck you, bro. I was born with this shit. Try eating your way to type two to fuck a girl at the type one. Yeah. Type one. I got that shit to have had the whole time. What are you doing later? By the way, you want to get awesome pizza? Yeah, do you want to get some sort of very neutral food? It is the person is his wife diabetic. No. No. So they're race mixing. We're okay with that. Yeah, dude. Yeah, bunch of the family actually didn't show up. Yeah, I mean, I'd have a problem with it too. What was the last time you guys had pigs in a blanket? Yeah, you were saying how this fell off. I think it fell off. Pigs in a blanket. Yeah. You know what's crazy because because they're so good. Well, we said this and then Ludwig said, cutie makes it all the time. Yeah, because it's like an Easter tradition or some shit. And I think that that's when I had it. She made it for when her silly ass made him personally made it. I think it was at her. It was at the Super Bowl party this year. She had some pigs in a blanket fell off. Oh, I had another thing that fell off. It was so good because it did. But then I forgot, probably because it fell off. It's so good, but it fell off. It was like a good, like, damn, that did fell off. It could be if it fell off. Well, that's what I'm saying. It was like, damn, that used to be like the way we measure how much a fall off is impacts us by how much something was little the shit, little water toy that you put your penis in. I will say, I never put my penis in. But I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, I want to put my penis in. I put my penis in. We had to put our penis in. I didn't put my penis in. You know, I said, I didn't have one. It was always. You were watching all the kids in the school yard put their penis in it. They were putting their penis at the store. Yeah, under the monkey bars, just dropping dick into the weird fleshlight that they just gave kids. Yeah, that thing fell off. It did fell off because I feel like it's like the kids are probably just getting their own fleshlights now. Yeah, because they're cheap. I don't know, it's her babies fell off. I heard boobies fell off. That fell off huge. Everyone was just wearing like arms strong bracelets. Yeah, they're strong. You had that shit, you had that shit. You had some live strong. No, I actually, to this day, I remember having the thought of seeing a bunch of kids with those thinking, I want that. Where did they get them? I live strong in the career. I'm just never getting one. We had some in the career. I don't know where they came from. My mom probably bought them. Wow. You wanted you to be cool. Yeah. Do you remember those bracelets or those bracelets? Yeah, they're bracelets that they claim to help you balance. No, it was a hoax, but they were being sold everywhere balancing shouldn't be. Yeah, these. Whoa. They're literally just rubber with like a holographic sticker. That's such a great scale. You have like this watch on that I remember like a level. I remember the whole because I got the pitch. I remember the whole year. I'll do it. I didn't. So I'm the guy giving you the pitch for the power. So I want you to stand up. I want you to stand up. You talking to me? Yeah, I'm talking to you. I'm sorry. Can you hear me? Hello. Take off your shirt. Listen to me. Go ahead. Stand up. Stand up. You got the mall. Yeah. You got the mall. I want you to stand up on one leg and a T pose. Okay. One leg. So one leg up and then T pose out. Yeah, perfect. All right. Now I'm going to put I'm going to push your arm. Okay. Oh, push your arm. Try to stay up. But keep your arms flat. Like stiff. I can't balance. You can't balance. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead and chain mail. He can't balance. Okay. I'll do it again. Do it again. Stiff arms. Stiff arms. Okay. What the fuck? He can balance. It's because they just push lower on your own. He pushed. But he pushed different bar bar. It's easier to balance. And then people got so got by this trick that they sold billions of these. That is so smart. Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy because balancing isn't something that comes difficult to most people. No, you're so wrong. It's the opposite. I think balancing is hard. No, no. I'm talking about every day. Like our job is to stand up and walk around. I see people aren't like god damn my balance is I think it was like pitched as like a as like a like you don't realize how much of your balance is off every day. Well, you fall so much. You didn't even know, bro. David and Cristiano Ronaldo. It was the craziest hoax ever. Did you actually know that you experienced 50 microfalls a day like that. You don't even feel them. And if you fix these microfalls, I'm talking more blood in your penis. Dude, Shaquille O'Neil was on that shit. You'll feel more alert, more confident. You'll be able to get hard, sir. We are. We are so we're lacking in a good physical hoax that you wear. We haven't had one of those in a minute. We got different hoaxes now though. We got like fucking we have fucked up. I want those hoaxes. Yeah, those were the bad. Well, that is a physical hoax meant to sell a device that is ultimately harmless that is meant to extract value from everyone harmlessly. Right. There's no no one got in trouble. Like you're not going some sort of Alex Jones doomsday prepper like rabbit hole because of the balance base. Maybe now it's like. I just drink raw milk and like die of a disease that I just made it a hundred years ago. I'm a piss. I'm a piss a lot of people. I'm a piss 15% of viewers offer right now. Power bracelets, crystals. Same thing. What do you talk? No one's crystal defending in our comments. The people who girls, they buy their lives. They charge the crystals because it does stuff in their life. Oh, dude. Now they and dude, they got rid of the crystals and now they just be charged and they fall. If you know, if you made it, they're putting their phone in the sun. Like how come it's not going up in the battery? If you made it all the way to the end of this episode and you're a crystal believer and I want you to explain why you believe in crystals and within with an anecdote and I don't want anyone else in the fucking comments to make little cows out of these people. We're here to learn. We're here to learn. We're not here to make fun of these people. We're here to be like. What are crystals about? Answer some questions and then we'll decide next week while we do the podcast in France with Ludwig. If you are crystal girly, you're probably also like a hex girly, so please do not cast a curse on me and let me know what stone or crystal I could wear while I'm playing the legends for Winners Q. We need that real bad. I don't know if I don't even know if my account is allowed to enter Winners Q at this point. Maybe put a curse on time. What the fuck did I do? Maybe they could fix your old Lowell cows. Fix my running because you're such a big wolf. Fix my running. Would you rather fix your running forever or not be a little countyman? 10 hot dogs and under 20 seconds on the Premo. We'll see you then. See you later.