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Speaker 4Hello, and welcome to the Urgent Big Sister Podcast. I hope you're having a wonderful morning, afternoon, evening, whenever you happen to be listening to this. How are we all doing on this fine day? I suppose by the time you guys are listening to this, it's literally going to be the last day of July or else the second last day of July. Did July go by in the blink of an eye for anybody else? Again, has the whole year gone by in the blink of an eye for everybody else? Yes, of course, but I actually don't mind July going quickly because that means it's my birth month. Put like, oh my god, guys. Well, it's my birth month in literally like a day. Crazy, by the time this podcast goes up, I'll be like, what, nine, 10 days away from turning 30? Oh, I mean, I sort of say, I know like I'm making such a big deal about it, but also it is, it is a big deal. I'm gonna like the end of my 20s. Like where did that happen? I literally feel like it just turned 20. A few fucking years ago, like it doesn't feel like it's been 10 years. It's just wild to reflect back. So next week's podcast episode is going to be 20 lessons from my 20s, and I'm really, really excited to sit down and record that one. 'Cause God, my 20s have been an absolute fucking wild ride. And I'm actually like, I'm excited now for my 30s. I think it's just, I mean, it's one of those things. I think when you're like early in your 20s, you're like, oh my god, I don't want to age. But now I'm like, well, I mean, I keep getting hotter and I keep getting richer. So like, Shirley can only get better from here. But either way, I'm gonna save all of that bubble for next week's episode. Well, obviously, I am quite ahead now with records because of course I'm going to roll in for my 30th birthday. So I just want to make sure that I have all the episodes ready for you. So I'm recording this episode a week early. Again, I've been back in my grind. Of course, when I go away, it's probably gonna set me back again. And I'll be back to like recording weekly. But I'm really new to try. I can get a few episodes pre-recorded because as I've mentioned many times now, and anyone who follows me or like watching my vlogs knows, once it gets to August, everything gets absolutely mental between and my big group too. I've got like shows every weekend in September, but I'm very excited for all of that. But the podcast will not be going anywhere, guys. I am, if there's one ticket at me, I'm still still brand. And I'm like, I refuse to miss weeks. Like I literally refuse. So don't worry, don't worry. I will always have you, but anyway, in terms of me and where I'm at in the week and everything, I've just been still just gaining. All right, like literally just still on the game train. We did book my food up last week, as I had said. And so up like 450 carb training days and stuff like that, which has been nice. I've definitely noticed my appetite is still good, but I'm definitely getting to the end of the day down. But like, okay, like let's get this meal in. Ball, listen, my mom did not raise no quitter. And it has also been quite hot. We've had a lot of temperature warnings here in my bay. It's been like 35 degrees, which to be fair, I actually don't feel like it's that bad at all. Every time I look at the weather, I'm like, oh, it's a temperature warning. And it says it's that hot. I'm like, oh, I'm not really feeling it, but so as I don't spend much of the day outside in the middle of the day, it's really only the morning and the evening. So maybe that's why aside from being in the gym, of course. But I have not even found being in the gym difficult, whereas I'm sure the first year or two that I was here, I found it really hard to train in the summertime. And now I'm just like, I don't know, again, climatized probably is probably the answer there. The human body is great at adapting. But yeah, training, I've had a bit of an interesting week. So on Sunday, I was on the hax squad at the end of her day. My back, well, it wasn't my back, it's my rib. And it's something that it's happened to me before. I think the last time it happened was two years ago. Actually, so it happened to me a few times when I first moved here. And I remember I had to get a chiropractor to comment, like, kind of fix me. So this time when it happened, I was like, okay, I actually know exactly what this is. I know it's an intercostal muscle. So I just was like, right, it's fine. I'm just gonna do a few like little stretches for you. Obviously, because Kyle is now my training coach. Kyle is a physio, right? So I was chatting to him about it. And he like got me to show him where it was. And he was like, right, I'm going to the gym now. Just do this like, he was like, do you like a cable zircher squad? So a zircher squad is where you have the, essentially the bar like in the crease of your elbows in front of your body. So he was like, just do that. Do it like a very slight split stance. Did two sets of that. And literally, my back was perfect. I went in and did a 135 kilo REL. Like, I literally, I was flying. I was like, okay, we're back. We're so fucking back training this flight. Then was in the gym on Wednesday, I was training quads. I was training quads. I did the pendulum, finished my sat in the pendulum. No problems, no issues, felt good. Get off the pendulum. I was chatting to somebody, went to turn around to put a play back and my knee. I just felt my knee. It was almost like it had like popped. It was so, it was so, so weird. Like it was so, so weird. I couldn't even, I did finish the session. In the sense, all I had left was single like like press. So I just did that on the left side because my left side's my weaker side anyway. I did that, did my calf raises. And I was like, okay, shit. So I don't know what the fuck I've done here. So I messaged him, but he was like, see how it feels today. And then obviously update me tomorrow, which would be today, Friday. So it feels a bit better. I'm training glutes today. So I feel like it should be fine. But yeah, I was just like, okay, that's sick. I've, you know, I've been on such a good run and now two little injuries in this face of a week. So yeah, not great, but listen, it's so funny. 'Cause literally, was it Wednesday morning before I went to the gym, I was talking to my clients. He's going through a little bit of any injury thing. And I was like, look, like these things happen. Like I've had them before. We focus on what we can control blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, okay, so now I'm literally having to like, listen to my own words here. But again, I'm not gonna freak out about it at the end of the day. I've had so many injuries along the way. And also I have Kyle and I know that like he will help. And I always just say, look, whenever you got like a little bit of an injury or pain, you focus on what you can't do. And I look at the positives. At least it's my right leg, which I know since bit weird, but my right leg is my stronger leg. So if I have to just do single leg stuff with my left leg for a week or two, that's actually fine. Because my left leg is the one that's weaker. I need to come up more. So I like, it's fine, like it'll be fine. I also obviously only have realistically a week and a half of training left before I have a few days off. And we got around. So yeah, we just, I think we just, it's just, listen. Is this just the fact that I'm about to turn 30 and my body is like fucked? Is it maybe my program? Maybe my volume's too high. I just need to figure it out. But yeah, not ideal, but listen to like these things happen. Like I would love if I never got any injuries or needles. I suppose it was before straighting 'cause I've just been feeling so good recently, especially with my knees. So my knees have been a bit of a constant thing for the last few years. Not bad, but just, you know, little needles here and there. And I'm like, I always need a knee sleeve. So like, you know, every few weeks it would get a bit sore. And for the first time in years, I've not been using these sleeves, I've been feeling really good. And then yeah, I just end up with the fucking pain. It was just like almost as if like, just right under the pitalo was just like really inflamed, but it's fine. Like it is fine. Like I think the most important thing to remember, especially if you're a bodybuilder, is there's no exercises you have to do. There's exercises that you can do. There's loads that you can lift and there's ranges of motion that you can tolerate. So I'm just gonna work with what I can do, right? Again, it feels a lot better today. It's not sore, so like walk or anything, but yeah, we'll see, we'll see, but it was a little bit frustrating. Aside from that, in terms of the rest of the year and my timeline, things have changed a little bit in terms of what it's all gonna look like, but I'm gonna hold off on talking about that 'cause there's a few things going on in the background at the moment. I know it's so annoying when people say shit like that by the way, but there is just some things happening in the background that I'm just working my way through. It might mean the rest of the year looks a little bit different, but I will obviously once everything's confirmed and we know everything that's going on, I'll obviously talk to you guys about it. As you know, I can't keep anything a secret. So not that there's anything, it's nothing. Boss, there's just things. Anyway. (laughs) Oh, we got the most stone prison ever, but either way, I am excited. I'm actually really looking forward now to the rest of this year and how we're kind of mapping things out and things that are coming up. So it's gonna be good. it is going to be good. And I'm just so excited to prep like I honestly think about everything the day. But anyway, on the on the topic of prepping right. So obviously right now, middle of the summer, we are knee deep in dining season, we are knee deep in prep season. And I've got loads of girls in prep for obviously we've got a Marbella shoe. I've got comps coming up, you know, some of the girls are, I've got one of my girls is two weeks out. We've got a few girls that are six weeks out. So there is, there's a lot of people in diets at the moment. And this same topic has come up in a couple of check ins over the last little while. And it kind of got the cogs turning in my head. And I was thinking, I think this could be a good podcast episode and something good to actually talk about with people. So one thing I've been reflecting on at my clients a lot and speaking to a lot of them about is, you know, this idea that over time, we make dieting easier. So a lot of the girls, I haven't perhaps right now, they're speaking about how it actually does feel super manageable for them. You know, even the girls, I've got some girls who are pushing hard, right? You know, some of them are on low calories. They're on high cardio. And what they're telling me is it doesn't actually feel awful. And a lot of them, I mean, most of them are saying, you know, they're loving it, like they're loving the process. Even though it's hard, they are prepared for it. And when I start to piece together, why this is probably the case, I realize it's because it's not their first time in this situation, you know, they have exposed themselves to these conditions before, right? So the reason that they're finding their diets manageable, it's not lock, it's not that they're more motivated, it's not their genetics, it's not even like it's nothing magic. I'm doing as a coach, right? Like, I'm pretty fucking good at what I do. Don't get me wrong. So like, I know I'm having a big influence here, but I think instead, it's because over time, I've obviously worked with these clients, and they've slowly built up their capacity to handle the dieting process. And something I've been mentioning to a lot of clients is this concept from psychology called graded exposure. So graded exposure in FAOS. So basically, today, I want to talk about why your first few diets are probably going to feel really fucking hard. Mentally, you know, and physically, like, it's going to feel new, it's going to feel uncomfortable, you know, physically, it's a new place for your body to be, and your body might be a bit resistant to getting truly lean the first two times, right? You know, I'm going to talk about why maybe after your first diet, you're not super, super happy with how you look, right? And I'm going to talk about why all of this is very normal. So obviously, I'm very big on bodybuilding being a lung game, and this is a huge part of it, because dieting is a skill, and this is one that you only get better at with time. And I think when I say dieting is a skill, there's a few aspects of that. There is the the skill of being able to stick to a plan, the skill of being able to track accurately, but there's also the skills of just being able to handle a diet, like handle everything that comes with it. You know, if I look at my earlier diets, they were so hard. I found it's so hard, I didn't have the skills to even just regulate my emotions around food. I didn't have the skills to understand what cravings were. I didn't have the skills of sitting with hunger, right? Like, I found it really, really hard. And I also didn't, like I didn't look that great, right? Because I hadn't, I hadn't spent time in those leaner and leaner body compositions, right? So like the first time you have to get there, like it's quite difficult. Now I can literally die with my eyes closed, right? Now my body responds really, really well. And it's because I've undergone this process of graded exposure to dieting. Okay? So we're going to talk about all of that today. Before we get into it, of course, don't forget to give the podcast a five-star rating. Okay? I'm Spotify, Apple Podcast, wherever you happen to be listening. Give it a review. Tell the world how great I am, please. Thank you. Don't forget to share on social media. Tag me @emadotcurven. If you want more bonus content from me, that is all over on my Patreon. And if you're interested in working with team excellence, all of the links are down below. Okay? So let's get into it, right? So I think a lot of people have, like they struggle with this a little bit because they kind of think that they should be masters of the craft on their very first try. So I see this all the time with maybe athletes who are starting out, clients who are just starting out, like no one, like I would hope walks into the gym. Like no one in the right mind anyway, walks into the gym for the first time ever and you expect to hit like 120 kilo squat, right? Nobody is expecting to buy pair of runners and immediately go out and smash marathon. And yet we can still expect things like, you know, our initial dieting phase or maybe, you know, maybe it's our first fat loss block, our first everybody building prep. We kind of can expect that it's going to be the best version we ever produce, right? You know, if we have set, you know, for example, I've got clients where maybe they've died it before, but they've set this goal of like a photo shoot prep, right? And for a lot of my clients who are doing the photo shoots this year, they're actually want to compete, you know, next year, the year after, right? And but a lot of them, they kind of get a little bit lost in this photo shoot being like the end goal and thinking that this is going to be the best they've ever looked. And well, it will always be the best they've ever looked, right? Like that's one thing, but they think that this is going to be almost like their peak, right? But actually, this is just a part of that journey. It's not the end. It's like even when I was competing last year, right? Like, that was the start of my journey. That was the start of my journey into wellness. I think it's very easy to think that that's the end goal when actually, even though I had been thinking about it for so long and like working towards it for so long, that was just the start. And I think that's like an exciting thing. And it's almost like an earlier attempt. And what a lot of people could end up doing is we compare our maybe sometimes messy first attempt to another person's like 10th season, right? And sometimes we can forget to acknowledge just how much work has gone in on the front end to what we see, you know, in the people that we look up to, you know, I thought, I thought the first time I did a proper dieting phase, I was going to be jacked. And let me tell you, I was severely disappointed, severely disappointed. Don't get me wrong. I was lean, but I didn't look as crazy as I hoped I would. And it would end up taking years of dieting, getting leaner, getting to a leaner set point in the last time, coming back up, obviously building more muscle, and then getting back down again, right? And again, I was just gradually exposing my body to a leaner and leaner set point. I was able to do that because I had more muscle, right? You know, and again, that is obviously a big part of this equation. I'm not necessarily talking about the muscle building side of things here. I am going to touch on that throughout the episode. Obviously, you guys, if you guys follow any of my content, you know, I'm always talking about you need more muscle if you want to look better when you diet, right? Like, let's just take that as a given, right? But let's say same person, but they have the same amount of muscle, but they've just done a bit like more and more dieting. Every time the diet, they're going to look better and better because their skills and dieting have gotten better, right? But I think like, look, this kind of comparison syndrome is very rampant in the world of bodybuilding. Like, you know, I'll have clients like really young, they're like me like 22, 23, they're like, oh, I don't look like that person. I'm like, yeah, the person's like 28, 29, they're a pro bodybuilder. They're probably taking drugs like, yeah, you don't look like them. You don't look like them, but also if you saw what they looked like in their first prep, you would also probably be like, oh, okay, they actually have progressed so far from there. And that's what's exciting. You know, again, like so many people think that they're like, their very first prep is going to be the best ever and they're going to be they're going to be this freak. I'm like, unfortunately for most people, like, it doesn't work that way. Like, when I look back at my pictures for my first prep, I obviously looked good. Like, I mean, I looked good enough to win a lot of shows, but if I compare that to me now, I look like a baby with like no muscle who was fat. Like, that's honestly what I think. Like, when I see those pictures, I'm like, well, obviously, it was a natural athlete at that time. But, you know, even when I look at the conditioning level, I'm like, oh, like, wow, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I've gone so much better than that now because I've done more diets and more prep sense, right? But, you know, I see a lot of people comparing themselves to pros who have literally spent like, maybe a decade building muscle. They've done like multiple grueling preps. You know, they've, you know, they've done thousands of sessions, millions of reps, right? And this person that is comparing themselves to the pro, like, they've maybe only, like, done two fought all phases, you know? And I really sometimes have to bring a lot of people, as I said, back down to earth, they get caught up in that comparison comparison. Like, you know, I know some of my younger athletes, they look up to me. I know, and I love that. Like, like, that feels like such a privilege. But I also have to also say to them, like, hey, I've been doing this for 10 years, you know, I'm taking drugs. And also, I will always say it's only in the last two to three years that I actually think I even look impressive. Like, it's taken me a long time to get here. Like, obviously, I made loads of mistakes early on. I would be here faster if I'd had a coach earlier on, but it's still taking me a while to get there or to get here. Okay. So leading on from that, I've obviously spoken about graded exposure. Okay. So what, what is graded exposure? And why am I talking about it? So basically, this is a concept in psychology where, and it's traditionally used in therapy for things like anxiety disorders, phobias. But I think there's a really interesting principle that we can borrow from it. So imagine someone's terrified of spiders, like, this is such a classic example. Okay. A therapist is not going to just like throw a torch on their lap. I hope the best. If someone's about to me, I would freak the fuck out. But what they would do is like, that would, that would reinforce the fear, right? It would reinforce it rather than reduce it. So instead, they gradually increase the level of exposure to the that is driving that fear, right? So they might start by just, they might just talk about spiders with the client, right? Then they might get them to look at a picture, like a still image. Then they might get them to auto video, you know? Then they might stand in the same room as them, you know? Finally, if the person gets to the point where they feel okay with it, they might hold one. If that's like appropriate for them. So the key idea here is that the brain is learning through experience. And so every time that person confronts the fear situation and discovers that, like, you know, the catastrophe that they were anticipating doesn't happen, the brain updates its prediction. And so psychologists call this inhibitory learning. So rather than a racing fear, your brain's forming a new memory that competes with the old one. So it starts to think like, okay, maybe this isn't as dangerous as I believed it was. And that's really powerful because our brains are prediction machines. I've spoken about this so many times on the podcast, but your brain doesn't respond to just what's happening in the moment. It's constantly trying to anticipate what is gonna happen based on all your past experiences, right? So let's put this into the context of dieting, okay? And you've never dieted before. Your brain predicts loads of things, right? You're gonna think I'm gonna be starving all the time. I can't live without like chocolate or crisps. You know, I won't be able to go out. I won't be able to enjoy myself. I'm gonna totally lose control. I'm gonna binge. I'm gonna overeat. And some of these things might happen occasionally, right? But a lot of them don't happen in the same just completely catastrophic way that our brains are imagining. And so as you move through a well-managed diet phase, right? Let's say you actually have a coach and they actually teach you how to do things properly and sustainably, right? What happens is your brain starts to gather evidence. So instead of thinking that like you're gonna be starving all the time, you might start to realize, okay, I actually just get a little bit hungry in waves like it comes in waves. You might see that you can still go and enjoy like a social occasion. You might show yourself that you don't lose control that you can tolerate that discomfort, right? Now, like to be clear, dieting isn't, it's not exposure therapy, right? But the principle is really similar. And so if we repeatedly, manageably expose ourselves to discomfort, that changes the way your brain predicts future discomfort. You know, I have spoken at length about the fact that the people here are most successful within anything in life, whether it's dieting, muscle building, a business, just life in general, they are the people who can sit with discomfort. And they don't freak out about it. And you can literally train yourself to get better at sitting with discomfort by slowly just turning the dial up on him which discomfort you're exposing yourself to, okay? And what happens is the discomfort doesn't change, but it's your relationship with it that changes. And I, again, I really believe the process of dieting, it works so similar to this. Again, it's not a clinical treatment, I thought the principles of exposure definitely apply again as long as it's done properly and manage well. I will always, like you guys, if you've listened to my, many of my podcasts, if you haven't, right? I did my first, like, proper diet in 2019. When I say proper, I try to diet so many times before, right? But I was really struggling with binging, overeating, I had no trust in myself, no faith in myself whatsoever, okay? I then got my first coach back in 2019. And instead of putting me on low calories, they put me on like 2300 calories. So I was able to actually stick to that, you know? Over time they slowly reduced them. And I started to go, okay, like, I actually can stick to this no matter where I go. This is sustainable. Oh, I'm a bit hungry. Oh, it's not killing me, you know? I started to learn all of these things and expose myself more and more and more to that process of dieting. And then off the back of that, I had the most successful diet I had ever had. I built new skills. I was able to tolerate discomfort in any way, okay? So when we start learning how to diet, again, we are essentially exposing ourselves in a graded manner to that stressor. And there's another psychological concept that actually really relates to this called stress inoculation training. So the name comes from the idea of a vaccine, right? So what is a vaccine? A vaccine is basically exposing your body to or your immune system to a tiny controlled version of a threat so that if you then encounter the real thing later, your body knows how to respond. You've already created the antibodies that are going to be specific to that pathogen, right? Like that's how that works. And psychologists, I'm gonna really help I get a second name right, but it's Donald, Mike and Bam, I think, Mike and Bam, Mike and Bam, I don't know. But he applied a very similar idea to stress. So instead of trying to eliminate stress from people's lives, which is impossible, okay? Like no one is getting through life with zero stress. That will be very boring, let's be so real. Like we're meant to handle stress. But instead of freaking out of it stress, he suggested we should help people experience manageable mental stress while teaching them the skills to cope with it, okay? So over time, this builds resilience. You inoculate somebody with greater and greater and greater amounts of stress. And they show themselves that they can handle it. Again, think about lifting weights. First time you squat, like you could just squat with a bar, but you could squat free weight, but let's say you squat with a barbell for the first time. If you're so unstable, so awkward, so mentally demanding, you really have to think about it, okay? But if you keep doing that six months later, your body, your body is stronger, but not just your body, your nervous system has become more efficient. You know, the movement feels familiar. So your confidence there, it's not coming from, like you're not just telling yourself like, "I am a good squatter." It's literally coming from accumulated evidence and dieting works in pretty much the exact same way. It is a stressor, right? We expose ourselves to more of it over time. And that's why when you first started diet, you shouldn't be going in and eating like a thousand calories, doing two hours of cardio, 15,000 times a day from the jump. Instead, you should probably start with a bit of a smaller deficit, a manageable amount of activity, and then slowly build it up from there. If you go too hard too quick, and we see this all the time, people go too hard too quick, and they burn out, they can only last a week and then they end up overeating, right? -
Speaker 1At REI co-op, we don't just sell outdoor gifts. Just stop in and ask a green best, like me. For the best gifts out there, shop in store or at REI.com.
Speaker 2It prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo. -
Speaker 3Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. A lurcher doctor right away is difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. A lurcher reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lugeric's disease, Myasthenia Gravis or Lambert Eaton Syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. -
Speaker 4Why wait? - We really want to avoid that situation with people who are earlier on within the dieting process, the dieting journey, their fitness journey, you know? Again, like that's why if I have someone unlike they're maybe they are younger or whatever, if they've never done a diet before, their first diet is certainly not going to be a photoshoot prep or competition prep. Like that's way too intense. They need to just do a normal fat loss phase first, right? Then maybe they can look at doing the more, quote, quote, intense dieting phases, right? And again, your first diet, it's probably going to feel overwhelming because everything's new. Even your first prep, even if you've done a fat loss phase, your first prep is probably going to feel overwhelming because everything is new. Your brain has literally no reference point for any of it, you know, so everything just feels so enormous, so heavy, you know, you're going to be thinking, like, anyway, anyone who's dieting, you know, their first diet, they probably found themselves thinking like, I'm starving, I'm exhausted, can't say no, I'm scared of going out, like, what if I binge, what if I lose muscle? And it's just because you're a nervous system, because literally never experiences, right? So everything feels really threatening. It feels unsafe, something that your body and your nervous system has an experience before, it is immediately just going to think that that's unsafe, okay? But once you've successfully navigated those experiences, you then build what psychologists called coping resources, right? You start to train yourself and like, again, you start to realize everything is fine, it's safe. Like, like, you know, feeling any of these things, the process of dieting fat loss, like, it's never gonna keep you, like, it really shouldn't. It really shouldn't, you know, like, the next time, you know, and so now, like, let's say you do your next diet and let's say your coach just say, like, okay, we're gonna increase your cardio. You're not gonna panic, you know? You're gonna be like, okay, I've done this before. I know what it feels like, like, I can get through it again. Same if, if your coach drops your food, you know, if you're in your first dieting phase, that can feel like a fucking, that can feel like the end of the world. Like, I get this sometimes with clients, you know, like, I pull their food down and they're like, oh my god, like, I can't believe you did that. I'm like, like, I need to do it, like, I need to do it. You're not losing weight, right? And I would have been the same, you know, I would have had the fear when I was younger. And, you know, if my food got pulled, I'd be like, oh my god, I'm gonna be so hungry like this. It's gonna be so difficult. And now, if, if I'm in a dieting Christian drop my food, I am so excited. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, I might have that initial gut reaction of, ah, I have to say goodbye to something. But then I'm also thinking, yeah, like, I'm about to lose even more fat. I'm about to get shredded, right? because. I now have the trust within myself that whatever he asked me to do I can do it because I've done it so many times before I've exposed myself to greater and greater and greater levels of difficulty within the dieting process like I've done 1200 goals I've done 45 minutes of cardio day you know and like and if I had to do more if I had to eat less and I had to do more I could do that as well like again I now have trust to myself that my body can handle it right so you know in these situations the stressor the stressor hasn't disappeared but the person becomes better equipped to handle it and that's resilience right like resilience isn't the absence of challenge it's the ability to meet it with confidence because you've met it before and a line that I always come back to here is confidence is simply remembered competence so when you see yourself become competent at doing something you become confident in that skill again I used to think I could never go sub 2000 calories I assumed if I had to eat less than 2000 calories I would be so starved I would end up binging and I would fuck my diet up right and again Jen like Jen you know any Christian could want me on a thousand calories he could want me on protein and veg and I would be fine okay because I've built a trust with myself I've been through so many diets I've exposed myself to lower calories I haven't dollars in the process my nervous system has learned that it's safe you know and I actually do you think there's a big aspect of that is why people they kind of catch the bodybuilding book and they fall in love with the sport it's because the prep it doesn't get easier right like that's be real prep is hard it like it doesn't matter how many times you do a prep it's still hard but it transforms you as a person throughout the process but you know that first season it teaches you that you can smash a session even when you are fucking toast even when you are so low on energy like my first oh my god like my first prep I used to literally be like like like almost dying in the gym I would literally be like laid there thinking there's no way that I can do this this is so difficult like I don't have the energy and now like I know I do it like I know that no matter how shitty I feel walking into the gym I can be the ass end of prep I know I can do it like I know I can do it because I have literally shown myself time and time again that I can do it you know like even you know your earlier prep they show you can still like have a laugh be a human even if you're ravenous even if you're digging deep you know you can tell that instant gratification voice to fuck off in favor of your long-term vision you know earlier prep they prove that you can still take your boxes even on the days where like motivation doesn't even exist it's not even like it's so far removed from where you're at but you can still show up and you can still do it you know you every single time you execute your brain it just stacks up more and more of that undeniable evidence you know evidence that you are actually a fucking capable human being as well evidence that your resilience levels are higher than you have to give yourself credit for you know and you start to see that proof that you're the person you can see it through to the very end right and so again this is why I always say to my like any of my younger girls I hate to keep saying younger but like I just I have a lot of clients here like very young and y'all are insane by the way like literally I wish you could know what I was like at 22 23 I was I was a math but anyway listen to my podcast next week you'll hear all with the mess that I was but again over time you're just exposing yourself to greater and greater levels of difficulty and building greater and greater levels of resilience and so if you're earlier diets they don't go perfectly don't get discouraged don't judge yourself it doesn't mean that you're never going to get it fully fully right you are just exposing yourself to the conditions of like intense deficits you know and within this process you're not just revealing you know some lines you're not just building a physique you're rewiring your brain you know anything like this whole podcast episode is really more so about the mental side of things and how mentally you approach diets because it's again in that graded expose your fashion you're just exposing yourself to more and more of that stress and so over time those behaviors like that disability just becomes normal and the things that once felt impossible they just start to feel like just part of your day-to-day life it's like oh of course I can do that right so I want to talk about a little bit of like your your body and your how your body is learning to right so obviously you've talked a lot about how your brain adapts your brain adapts to greater and greater levels of difficulty you start to see that okay actually you know again in your in your early diets like hunger feels like such an emergency you know I get this all the time from people oh my god I'm so hungry like am I doing something wrong the more you do it the more you realize that's a completely normal thing to feel you know you might think that low energy is something to be panicking about but the more that you do the more you realize it's something that is temporary that you can get through right so through exposing yourself to like slightly higher hunger levels slightly lower energy levels you start to see that actually it's not that big of a deal that you can tolerate it and again that tolerance and again I think like tolerance is a great word to really use and weave through this whole episode is like your tolerance levels for the deficit just get higher and higher through exposing yourself to more and more difficulty right and I think look I want to be careful here I'm not trying to say that you should make overtime make dieting as hard as possible like that's not what I'm saying but what I'm saying is your ability to cope with the hard moments gets better and better and better right but anyway in terms of your body that adapts as well and I think this is where a lot of people they can kind of be a bit disappointed earlier on in their dieting you know in endeavors right so like I said I have a conversation all time especially with younger competitors and and again when I say younger I don't even just mean age but just in their bodybuilding journey right so someone could be 30 but they could be a young competitor if it's the first year that they've been training right but you know again someone who's younger they might look at the person who's been training for 10 years and they might go oh like why don't I look like that when I'm lean like why don't I look like that when I've dieted and it's not because you're doing anything wrong it's just you're you're comparing 10 years of accumulated adaptation to maybe your two or three years so look obviously muscle maturity is very real you know we know that from exercise physiology skeletal muscle it continues adapting for years and years so every single time you finish a training block or a building phase you know you've actually been like focusing on gaining muscle there's a more muscle protein synthesis there's more remodeling there's more satellite cell activation you know increases in myrofibular protein so you're not just getting more muscle but the muscle becomes denser and more developed over years of progressive overload and this is what bodybuilders call muscle maturity, muscle maturity it's not like a formal scientific term right it just it reflects have a real adaptations that occur with long-term resistance training so greater muscle cross-sectional area changes in the muscle architecture you know increased contractile protein contents just years of accumulated hypertrophy and you know you like sometimes trying to explain this to someone you can kind of look at two people who've been training for a long long time and one they might be the same size like they might physically look to be the same size but one just looks denser the muscle looks harder whereas someone who's maybe a bit younger the muscle just looks it looks more hollow is like the only way that I can explain it it looks like softer muscle right and again that's not necessarily like a bad thing you know for example if you were doing fit model you probably don't want like hard dense muscle they don't want that they want that kind of softer muscle you know bikini I would argue bikini you need a lot of density at this point again the wellness girls there's a reason why the top wellness athletes are in their 30s because they they're just dense again like it's not a size thing but it's just a muscle density and that only comes from training for a lot of for a long time and what can happen is the person with more muscle maturity and more muscle density they might have the same body fat percentage as someone with less muscle density they will look so different you know and it's just because one has more years of muscle underneath the fat that's why obviously I have more muscle now of course but I also have more dense muscle I do right like I've been doing this for a long fucking time I'm still so far from where I want to be by the way but I have more of it right so even me with the same level of body fat that I had four years ago I look way leaner because that dense muscle is just sitting onto the body fat right and it's almost like pushing it a little bit more so if you've done if this is like your first diet and your earlier in your career you're not going to have that muscle maturity and you're just not going to look as crazy impressive you know so again we have to like gradually expose ourselves to even more and more times spent building you know because dieting reveals what you've built again I've said this all but all all the time okay a diet is not building your physique it's revealing it you know it the building happens during the months and years beforehand the improvement phases you know the training blocks being in a surplus all the reps you're doing dieting just strips away the layers that cover all of that work and that's why your offseason really matters too and I do think a lot more or another kind of aspect of this is success successive dieting cycles they teach you what your physique looks like and this is where I think the great exposure analogy becomes really interesting right so the first time you ever get genuine you mean you know when I look back at that first diet I did in 2019 that was more like that was the most successful one I've done right I had quote unquote abs but it was just like the faintest outline you know I had a flat stomach like a faint outline of abs second time I've dieted I had more separation now I'm at the place where when I diet and I get quite lean I literally have an etched in kind of six pack I have veins going up my my my abs like that's crazy right but it only happens every like over successive years of dieting right it's like like my body has learned that it's safer and safer and safer to get that lean, you know? I got, like I obviously, again, by the end of my first prep, I got quite lean, but I didn't have that same level of like freak factor. Again, drugs obviously comes into it, but I believe even if I'd stayed natural and I had just kept doing deficits and getting leaner and leaner, I think I would have gotten better at actually sitting in that leaner body composition, you know? And I think it's tempting to think that maybe your body's just getting better at burning body fat. I think the reality is different. I think that, look, what's actually happening is between those drugs, you've obviously continued building muscle. So each time you're revealing a slightly better physique than before. So it's not just the dieting, but I also do think, and again, this is one of those ideas that, I think most bodybuilders would agree with me. I don't know if there's any research on this, but I think again, there's almost this aspect of you need to teach, like every time you get the leanest you've ever been, you're teaching your body that it's safe to be there, okay? And so the first time you get there is gonna be a fucking grind. It's gonna be really, really difficult, right? Like you're gonna have probably have to push. The next time it might not take as much, and you probably will get there and then be able to supersede that level of leanness, okay? Again, does that come down to you having more muscle? Does it come down to you just being better at dieting? Does it come down to you being better at handling the deficit? Does it come down to your body being better at handling the deficit? I think it's all of the above, but either way, every time you expose yourself to dieting, you are going to look better and better. Again, I think even if you took somebody who didn't necessarily build more muscle in between two separate diets, I think the second diet would look better, and I think they would look denser and harder and leaner just by virtue of their body, understanding that it's safe to be there. Again, this is something that I don't think I can prove scientifically, but I actually do feel like a lot of bodybuilders would agree with me, in that sense, and look, sometimes, bro science ends up being real. But I don't think that I can't imagine there's any research on this 'cause do people even care. There's also the side of it that every diet gives you information. This is another reason I don't like people judging themselves after one fat loss phase. And again, while your first diet is probably not going to be your best one, your first diet isn't an exam. It is literally data collection. So in your first diet, you're going to learn. And again, say when I'm dieting my girls, and I know that they've got a competition prep coming up, right? Here's what I'm thinking about is, okay, where are they using fat first? Where are they holding onto it? What are the stubborn body parts? How lean realistically can this person get with the current level of muscle mass do they have? How much food do they need? How does their body respond to cardio? Does it get inflamed? Can they handle a lot of cardio? Like, what does their body actually need? And then that information I then take, I distill down, and it makes every subsequent diet smarter. You know, it allows me as a coach to get better. It allows the client to get better too, because they learn more about their body. And then their expectations can become more realistic, you know? And I think a lot of people, especially again, if you're earlier on in the dieting process, within your first few diets, I think a lot of people can think, you know, I'm not mean enough when actually sometimes the truth is, maybe you're exactly as lean as someone with your training aid can be. You know, there's a huge difference. If you're only 19, 20, 21 years old, you're only a few years into leaf lifting, you're on your first big diet, you're not going to look like someone who's been bodybuilding for 12 years. Like, it's just not going to happen unless you are, again, an absolute freak of nature, a genetic freak. But most of us are not. Like most of us are just normal people. Like, I will always show my clients. I'm like, here's a picture of me at 24 years old, my first big diet. And I'm like, you look so much better than I do, like in that picture, right? Like, you're already so far ahead. So like, again, it's so easy. Like I said, if you're doing a big diet, you're doing a photo to you. And this is like the thing that you've been working towards to think, oh my god, this is like the end. It's like this is my, my magnum opus. Like this is, this is the picture I'm going to have framed in my wall for the rest of my life. And it's like, this is just the first one. Like it's really the first one again. Like, you know, I look back at pictures for my pap last year. And I'm obviously so proud of them. But all I think is like, oh my god, I can't wait to make this look shit. That's what I'm thinking about, you know? Like, again, it's like expecting to fucking read Shakespeare after your first English lesson. Like, it's not going to happen. You're not underperforming. You are just earlier on in your story. And I think that's one of the most hopeful things about bodybuilding. The ceiling is always moving, okay? So I do want to talk about the research about repeated dieting. Because again, I know what I just said, there's like a bit bro, so I see about like your body like remembering being mean. There is some evidence that it kind of does, but probably not on the way social media suggests. So there is research on bodyweight regulation, which indicates that afterweight loss, the body defends its previous higher weight through increased hunger and reduced energy expenditure. However, if someone maintains their lower bodyweight for an extended period of time, I'm talking months now.
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Speaker 4Why wait? Just weeks. Some of those adaptations appear to the lesson. So it's almost like, okay, take someone who loses 10 kilos. At first, their body is actually gonna try and get back to that set point where they were 10 kilos heavier. But if they stay 10 kilos lighter, over time, those adaptations lessen and their body doesn't fight back as much, their appetite, air hormone, to energy expenditure normalizes. So then weight maintenance becomes easier, that immediately after weight loss, right? So it doesn't mean that your body permanently has a lower set point, but it suggests that the defended weight is probably more flexible than we thought. You know, a lot of people think, oh, doesn't matter what I do, I'm always gonna come back to being like 80 kilos. Like, no, that's not the case. If you get lean, spend time leaner, spend time with your body in that leaner position, your body will then not try and get you back there. So that's why if I've climbed to maybe undergo a large weight loss, like I'd say they start at like, maybe 90 kilos and they get to like 70 kilos, I'm not immediately gonna reverse them back up and try and get them to gain weight quickly. I will try and get them to spend time in that new body and to let their body learn that this is the new normal, right? And I think again, can we extrapolate that into like getting ultra lean? I don't know, but again, in my brain it makes sense. And look, sometimes I shake, say shit, and I am making it up. But like, who cares? Anyway, obviously we can also look at the number of fat cells. This does stay relatively stable. So during fat loss, you're shrinking fat cells rather than eliminating them and during weight regain, those existing cells we feel. So successive dieting, it doesn't reduce your fat cell kind, but it just change how much fat they're storing at any given time. Again, I don't know if that's really gonna impact your body getting better being leader. And again, I think the reason most people look better every fat is less fat cells and more fat muscle. Like it is, look, it is obviously every improvement sees in your adding more muscle tissue when you got leaner than there's more shape underneath. So that's why, okay, your fourth, fifth, perhaps should look dramatically different from your first. But the reason why I think it will feel easier too is because you've now gone through the process of grated egg sposure, okay? And so again, there's a little, I also wanna like, like in a little secret, I actually don't think dieting ever gets easier. So to speak, I just think you get better at managing it. Like I really do, you know, let's compare two different athletes. You've got a girl who's never done a proper fat loss phase before. She wakes up, she's hungry, right? Immediately her brain starts screaming, like this isn't sustainable, I can't do this, you know? If she has a shitty gym session, she thinks, I'm gonna lose all my muscle, you know? Or if she has the thought that she wants like some chocolate, she thinks I have no discipline. Oh my God, my cravings like they're out of control. My food noises are out of control. You know, let's say she does have a single meal out. She thinks she's fucked everything, right? To her, every single struggle is just more proof that she is failing. When you look at the girl who's done this, you know, four or five times, she wakes up ravenous and thinks, okay, yeah, you know, okay, maybe the mornings are a little bit ship, but that's what happens when you get a lean. Maybe she wakes up ravenous and thinks, oh yeah, I'm lean. I'm lean, watch me and I wake up with a new scale out, right? Maybe she has a bad training session, a bad set and she thinks, okay, I'm just a bit fatigued today. Like, it'll pass, maybe I need to look at my programming, did I get enough sleep? If she thinks that she, like, if she has a craving, she just thinks, all right, yeah, like, I'm in a deficit, like that's pretty standard, like it's gonna happen, you know? Or if she just have to go out for a meal, maybe she thinks, right, back to normal plan as usual, it's no big deal, right? The events are identical, but the narrative changes. And it's because the person who's done this a few times stops viewing everything as a crisis. We need to understand our brains are always trying to make sense of things. When an experience is brand new, we tend to catastrophize. We assume the worst because to the brain, as I said earlier, uncertainty feels like a massive threat, but we're repeated exposure to these things. It changes the internal predictions. So you stop asking yourself like, okay, is there something wrong with me? And you start to recognize it as just simply part of the game. And that is a completely different headspace to occupy. And so now, same stimulus, same hunger pain, different response, because you are now in control and you know, see that it is safe. You've exposed yourself. You felt hunger and plenty of times. Again, when people are new to diving, they think hunger is the biggest emergency. And I have to explain, you are not going to die because you feel a bit hungry. It's a normal physiological response. You're meant to feel hungry. It's okay. It's safe. Like you've got stored energy. You're three hours away from your next meal. Like you will be okay. But the only way that you can recognize that is just by like exposing yourself to it more and more. Okay. So again, we have to develop that steady emotional baseline. And this is why, you know, you look at like some of those pros, they look so chill, they look so grounded. And a lot of people think that maybe they're just mentally tougher or they're built different. And I don't think that's the case at all. Like I'm not built different. Like I don't think that there's anything inborn, different with me. I think I just have done this for so long. I've stacked up thousands of data points where things work day fine. I've had low days. I've had high days. I've had shit check-ins. I've had weeks where I feel far less fog. Weeks where the scale doesn't move. Every single time I've kept going and the process has kept moving forward. And so that history builds that emotional stability. And it's not because things are perfect. It's because I just don't really see tough days as a disaster. It's just it is just literally part of the process. And I think this is why I actually just get so bored coaching a girl through her first first prep. You know, because yes, obviously you're building a physique. But what we are also doing in that process is collecting evidence. You know, evidence that you can handle being hungry without going out of your mind or evidence that you can stick to the plan even when life gets busy. You know, evidence that you can trust the work you're putting in evidence that you can do hard shit that you won't start as impossible. And once you've stacked up that enough of that proof, that's where the identity starts to shift. We have spoken about identity so many times on the your gym big sister podcast because it is so important. You aren't just someone who's trying to be disciplined anymore. You are a disciplined person. You are a bodybuilder. You are an athlete. You know, our default thought it used to be. This is too hard. But now it becomes okay, this is new to me. This is new to me, but I can handle it. I can handle it because I've handled everything difficult. So far like nothing that you have been exposed to in life yet has killed you. Okay. So you are clearly capable of withstanding more than you are giving yourself credit for. And once you make that distinction, everything shifts. And just because something is hard, it doesn't mean it's wrong. Hard is just the feeling of reaching the limit of what you're currently able to handle, right? And again, exposure is the foundation of identity. Obviously, I have to bring identity into this. You're not building discipline by reading thousands of self-help books. You build a like consistently acting like a person who has discipline. And so every diet, every prep, every fat loss phase that gets a little bit harder. You finish it and you teach your brain a very vital lesson that I am the kind of person who can see hard things through to the end. And so with every successful diet you do, you build the identity of someone who is good at dieting. But again, you have to take it in a graded manner. You can't go straight to thousands of cars, daily cardio, all the steps because that will be very hard. And you might break that trust within yourself, which again, that kind of ties me into what I sometimes observe as a bit of a failure of modern coaching. And I want to highlight this because it does go to the core of my philosophy. So a lot of coaches, they might go right, how much weight can I get this person to lose? But I think the high level coaches ask, what kind of psychological experience am I building for this athlete? You know, if a client's first diet shoot prep, body building prep is complete misery, so overwhelming, impossible, just so unsustainable, they're probably never going to step on stage again. And it's because as a coach, maybe you've exceeded their capacity to adapt. And so the better way is to expose them to the challenge, allow them to recover, let them grow from it, let them learn from it, watch them grow, repeat the cycle. Again, that's why majority of the time, any client I have is competing, they've done a photo shoot prep prep with me first, so that I can expose them to it. You know, I don't rush people into just a prep, I don't go, okay, oh, you want to sign up, you want to do a show, like, let's fucking go. No, no, I want to take my time with this. I want to know that you can handle a photo, say, that I want to know that you can handle a photo shoot, prep or you push things harder, then I want to know. And if we can do those things, then I know that you've been exposed to the level of difficulty that is going to be required for a prep. And yeah, the prep is still going to be a level up, but I now have that trust in you and you should have that trust in yourself. And I've actually, I think this is how you get clients or athletes to stay in the sport long term. And I will always say, I don't care to just put someone on stage for one, for one show, I would love someone to compete for years because that's what builds the best physique, that's what builds the best careers in bodybuilding is the people who can do this for a long time. You know, I've heard a lot of, especially the 3D MJ coaches and people like Alberto Nunes specifically touch on this, they will sometimes intentionally not get a client a hundred percent stage conditioned in their first season, because they know that if they do this, it might require taking it so extreme that the athlete might never get on stage again. And I think this is something we might have to consider as coaches, like when I'm coaching someone, yes, I want them at their very best. I want them to win, but I don't want to harm them. And I don't want them to never, ever compete again. So I really think there is a duty of care and a bit of a balancing act here. Like, and again, I obviously did that podcast a few weeks ago about why people burn out from their first season. And I think sometimes this is part of it is they're just going into a blind, they've never been exposed to the the challenge and the difficulty. It's way too much. And then they're just like, I'm never doing that again. Whereas like, by the time I got to my first bodybuilding prep, honestly, I dieted so many times. I was like, oh, this was fine. Like, it really wasn't that bad. Like, yeah, I had moments, but it wasn't like awful, you know. So again, really thinking in the long term, going through the process of that graded exposure to dieting, it just allows, I think, as a coach, it allows me to build better athletes. Okay. And look, this is not just a bodybuilding. Like, this is a principle that applies to everything in your life. It could be public speaking. It could be dating, could be starting a business. It could be doing a fucking call plunge, launching your YouTube, doing content, you know, making sales calls, training for a marathon, every single uncomfortable endeavor follows that exact same curve. The first time it's terrifying, the 10th time it's super manageable. The 100th time, it's your new normal. Okay. What we often mistake is familiar already in somebody else for natural tolerance, but the reality is it's just a result of exposure. I'm not naturally talented at like dieting. I've just exposed myself to it for so fucking long that I basically had no choice, but to be calm good at it. So I want to leave you with this thought is that maybe the first diet, it's not meant to unveil your dream body. It's meant to unveil the version of you that is capable of building it, you know, maybe your first prep is not about winning a trophy. Maybe it's about proving to your nervous system that this new version of you is real. And so every time you choose to do something difficult, provided you have the right people in your corner, you know, your recovery is prioritized. You do it enough times. The things that used to feel really hard and impossible, they slowly become ordinary. And so that's why your first attempt, it's not going to be your best attempt. Like your first diet is not going to be your best diet. It's just the one that makes the next attempt easier because you have exposed yourself to those slightly more difficult things. So I hope that has been somewhat helpful. I hope that it's made sense. I get it was kind of, you know, you know, you just have like a bit of an insight and you're like, I need to try and expand on this. I think it's a good idea though. And it's it's something that I have been talking to a lot of my athletes about, you know, is look like this is your first diet. It's only going to get better and better from here. So I hope you've enjoyed. If you did, don't forget to give me a five star rating on whatever platform you're listening to you. Don't forget to share it on your social media tag me @evidolcarvin. Also guys, sorry, I meant to say this at the start of my fucking podcast. Dom Emma, I got so many messages about last week's episode about not last week, two weeks ago, the woo woo shit that changed my life. Guys, I haven't had a part, I can't remember the last time I had a podcast episode that I got so many messages about. Thank you. I really appreciate it because that was again, it was a bit of a different episode. And I got a lot of feedback that people want more of that stuff. So I will definitely be recording more woo woo wacky spooky shit because again, that's that stuff just lights me up and I love it. So I just want to say thank you so much to everybody who did like reach out and who said that they really, really enjoyed it because that went the world to me and you can expect more spooky stuff from Emma. But if you're interested in coaching, all links down below, I'm at capacity basically. So wait list is fairly open for August September. The girls who work under me, of course, have spaces too. And I will catch you in next week's episode, which will be my 20 lessons from my 20s. Okay, I'll just
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