Speaker 1At REI Co-op, we don't just sell outdoor gifts. We use them, test them, trust them. So we know what to give this season. For joy rides, campfire cheers, and peak views. We know what to give the people you love who love to get out there. Because we're out there too. Just stop in and ask a green best. Like me, for the best gifts out there, shop in store or at REI.com. Chronic migraine, 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more, can make me feel like a spectator in my own life.
Speaker 2Botox, on a botchalinum toxin A, prevents headaches and adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, Myasthenia Gravis, or Lambert Eaton Syndrome, and medications, including botchalinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxCronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44 Botox to learn more. -
Speaker 3Hello and welcome to the Urgent Big Sister Podcast. I hope you're having a wonderful morning, afternoon, evening, whenever you happen. See me listening to this. How are we all doing this week? The final week of May, June is upon us literally, does that mean we're halfway through the year? No, it's halfway through the year, the first is July. Either way, the year do we go and quick. 2026, she is like absolutely just racing by. It's been such an exciting year already, and the second half of the year is gonna be equally just as exciting, and I'm very, very excited. So, I hope you've all had a wonderful, wonderful week. I hope we've all been enjoying the heat wave. I am not even gonna lie, that was actually me. So, I went home last Friday, and I brought the sun with me guys back to Ireland, so you're all welcome. You're all welcome, so I will be accepting thank yous in the form of cash payments, or else just a hug, I don't remind. But either way, I am taking full responsibility, 'cause it was no coincidence that I got home, and literally as soon as I got home, the sun just decided to come out. And yes, I was home last weekend, very fun weekend. I went back for one of my cousins' weddings, which was in Khan-a-Kilti, or as I now know, the people from Korq just call it Klan. They don't use the full name, which I kept saying it, and then I was like, oh, faux pas, it is in fact just Klan. But either way, that was beautiful. The sun was shining, it was so nice to see all my family again. Obviously, I've seen them just a few weeks ago on my own wedding, so it was so nice to go and see them all again. And it was beautiful, it was such a beautiful wedding. 'Cause you got married, she was actually my bride's maid, and so funny, so we, I'm just gonna turn on my aircon 'cause I've just realized it's in fact very, very hot. That's another thing, since I've got back to Spain guys, I swear like the temperature just changed over the weekend because it wasn't that bad before I left, and now I'm like sweating aircon on full blast at night, on during the day when I went to the office, so I'm prepared for my electricity bill to go, which is gonna be fun. But yeah, so my cousin and I, obviously, we're like two, three years apart, she's a little bit older than me, and we got engaged on the exact same day, which is so funny back in 2024, and so we then, obviously, Shane and I had our wedding, now she's had her wedding. So it's for me as wedding season, we've got another wedding in a few weeks as well, Shane's best friend, who Shane was at his stag, so guys, I haven't seen Shane in two weeks, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm struggling. Like, it's actually so pathetic. It's so pathetic what loves those two a person, but he's coming home tonight, and I literally, I'm so excited. Like, I'm so excited, I just miss him. Like, don't get me wrong, I can be independent. Like, I can look after myself, but I like being looked after it as well, and I look just like having him around, we haven't been apart for this long in ages. Like, I literally can't even remember the last time, probably last year when it was like September shows season, but yeah, the wedding was fantastic. Obviously, I flew into Dublin Thursday evening, drove down to Cork on Friday, which ended up being like a five hour drive between traffic, and then of course, P brakes, because I P so much, and then had to drive back on Sunday, which the drive back was actually nowhere near as bad, and luckily for me, I wasn't that hungover, which, you know, I definitely had a few drinks. Like, I don't know how many, but like, you know, I was drinking quite a few Bacardi's and Coke Zero's was my drink of choice, but I was smart, and that was all I drank, aside from one singular shot of tequila, but aside from that, like, I was pretty, you know, consistent with my drink choice, and I was also very good with staying hydrated, and I think because of that, I also went to bed at like just after midnight, managed to get a decentish sleep, and I think because of that, I was like, oh, I'm actually not that hungover. So it turns out all those tips about like, not mixing drinks and staying hydrated actually works, and actually means that you don't get raging hangovers, 'cause I feel like when I was like 20, you know, but when I started drinking, let's be realistic, like 16 years old, between like 16 and 20, when 22, never got a hangover, it didn't matter. I could literally be out drinking all night, I could not sleep, I could wake up, I could go to work the next day, what? Then hangover started to hit me hard, like really, really hard to the point that like, I would be the person who's just laid on the couch, crawling to the bathroom back and forth to get sick, like that was how bad my hangovers where I couldn't even like drink water, I couldn't eat anything, and I feel like in the last year or two, I've really gotten it down in terms of not really getting bad hangovers again. So thank God, 'cause I thought it was just gonna get worse and worse the closer I got to 30, but it feels like I've kind of, I figured it out, and then another thing, if you wake up the next day, go on a walk, even, no matter how tired or shitty, you feel going to walk, I went on a little walk or I'm gone, you know, through the fields and everything like that, and yeah, I was a little bit tired, but like I just forced myself out for some activity, crisp cold white monster. Good first meal, sort of for the day, sort of for the day. So yeah, it was a good weekend, like obviously a bunch to stay like pretty well. I was in like on track, but like the only like off-track day was Saturday, and I still, you know, I trained in the morning, had a lot of my normal meals. To be honest, I probably did not eat enough on Saturday because there was like such a big gap between when I ate before the wedding and then the actual meal itself, but I'd say most of my calories came from the Bacardi, let's be so real. So because of all that, I actually ended up dropping quite a lot of ways over the weekend. So I think I was up at like 152 before I left, and then I waited at 148.7, and 148.9, Monday and Tuesday. I was like, whoopsie, which to be fair, my weight had been definitely slowing down a little bit. I think the week previous, I was starting to like hold in like the 150 ones, 152s, and Christian kind of said, like we'll probably need to up food, but because we knew I had the weekend away, we said like we would just wait, and I think I really went into the weekend with the mindset of like, not like I'm gonna be so fucking on track, but I really wanted to not let it slow down my momentum that I've been building, because I've been feeling really, really good, like my feet's been great, after I've been great, trading's been great. So I wanted to go and enjoy it, but not like take it too far, and not feel like, oh my god. Which obviously after my own wedding weekend, which it's totally different, but that was like five days of just like, just whatever the fuck I wanted. I definitely did feel like not great after, and I didn't want to feel like that. Like I wanted to be able to have fun, but also just feel like I was making good decisions and good choices, and I think the older I've gotten in the more mature, I've gotten within my bodybuilding process, the better I am, and even my mindset around it's not that I'm going in, like I can't do this, I have to restrict this, I have to say no to everything, it's more so just making I suppose value and goal in line decisions. You know, like I brought all my meals with me, look at the hotel I say, they had like a fridge in the room, so I was able to like buy stuff, like you know, I bought like yogurt and stuff. I obviously guys, if you are not following me on YouTube, or you maybe haven't seen an Instagram, you might not know the rice cooker hack, but did you know you can cook like rice and meat in the rice cooker all at the same time? Like we've been doing it for like all our meals these days, so I just like bought some chicken, so I was able to make like chicken and rice for before the wedding, we're for the day after me at like, I got in at like, as I said, like midnight, a little bit drunk, prep my meal for the next (laughs) you know, just like little things like that that just made me feel better, so I wasn't having to rely on getting loads of food out, we're just eating things that I know don't really make me feel good, so I think I really struck a nice balance this weekend, and I'm very, very happy with that, but yeah, my weight did start to drop, so we kind of knew that we were probably gonna have to make an increase, so we did, just a small increase, we literally just bumped up 25 carbs, so I'm now on three seven five carbs on a training day, three 25 on a rest day, and like because, as I said, I got back to Spain, and it's so much harder, like it's so much harder, I've definitely noticed like the appetite, like I'm not starving, not thought I was starving before, but like my hunger was like in a really decent spot, and I just feel like since the weekend, with like the heat there, I'm like, oh God, not that I'm not struggling to finish meals or anything like that, it's just not at the level it was, but I'm helping a few more days in routine, it might kind of like help with that, or else we're gonna have to be going to, I mean, cold foods, and I even had cream of rice yesterday, so it was like, that's actually so much easier to eat, but you know, like the cold foods, of our youth fields. Bye. So, you know, my diet doesn't really change too much. Let's be so real. I probably just have a little bit more bread because you kind of beat Spanish crusty bread. Sorry to all the C.A. accent people that think you can't eat bread. But I'm definitely excited. And we did also make an increase to PDs. So we have bumped up my dose of Anivar. I'm obviously not gonna say what I'm taking because that will be silly. And if you do want all of the like juicy details of like dosages and everything I take, the only place you'll ever find that on the internet is my Patreon. So you best go and subscribe for all my weekly updates and like everything that I'm doing. But yeah, we have increased that. So I'm very interested to see how the next few days of training goes. Like my training was going really well. Obviously I did two sessions at home. I did one in Black Gym in Scaries, which if you're like living in that area, they have fucking upgraded. Like they have so much good equipment now. So happy that I can have that. It's like a home-based gym. So she goes September until we're like, I'm gonna be home for quite a few weeks. And it's so nice to know I have a really good gym now. Like really good equipment. They're getting their posing room in. I'm very excited about that. And then I did one in Motivated Fitness in Cork. And actually when I was in the gym, a beautiful lovely podcast listener. Hi, Hannah. She came up and said hi to me. And I was like, oh my God. It's actually, like, it's always crazy to me if I like meet someone in like person. And they're like, oh my God, I listen to your podcast. I'm like, oh my God, it's crazy. So if you ever do see me in person, that sounds so cocky. If you ever see me in person, but like I have had people obviously, people, I know I have a lot of podcasts listeners. If you ever do see me in person, like please come up and say hi to me. Even if I look really, really like, like I don't want you to, 'cause I have the worst resting the chase. I'm so aware of that. If I look like I don't want to talk to you, please know it's not true. That's just my face. I'm like my kind of, I just have an insecurity that I think like everyone hates me and wants to talk to me. Low key trauma dumping. But yes, definitely you can say hi, but that was just, that just like made my morning and put such a fucking smile on my face. So that was really sweet. So yeah, I had a good such there. And I also met my client, Danny, who is doing my Marbeque shoot into our weeks for the first time. And that was just so nice. And then I obviously got to see Nicole in black because she is competing as well in 14 weeks now. So got to see her. So yeah, it was just like, it was a really nice house and weekend, but yes, food is up, drugs are up. My session on Tuesday when I got back wasn't the best, but to be honest, I think it's because I got like six hours of sleep because I got in quite late on Monday night. And I had been like on the plane the day before, like just sitting down, I felt stiff. So I've had two good nights of sleep, two days of higher food, two days of more drugs. So I feel like today's session is gonna be flying. And I've been really going to, you know, like I feel like resettled in how I'm looking now, like I'm happy with my physique and, you know, I'm actually excited to have a summer where I'm not dieting. I'm really like, you know, my, I think why, like I've been reflecting on this a lot like the last awhile because that to be so real social media right now is, oh, every time I go on TikTok, it's just videos of these fucking celebrities and they are so skinny and so gone and it's just, and I just feel like, you know, these days, I'm not saying it's like easy to lose weight 'cause I don't think it is ever easy, but like things like GLP ones are making it easier. And now it just seems like it's shifted towards this celebrated body type of like super, super skinny. And I honestly do think the pendulum is gonna swing because now let's be real. If you can achieve that with a hard work, no one's gonna value it, right? And like I always say this, we attach value to things that are difficult to attain. Like that's kind of why they're valuable. So something's easy to attain, like being super skinny, that's now not gonna be valuable because someone's gonna look at someone who's like skinny and thin and be like, oh, she probably takes a zombie. You know what I mean? Whereas I think now what's gonna be really looked as valuable as like having muscle because you cannot, even if you take fucking drugs, like you cannot cheat muscle growth, right? So I think what I really wanna show this somewhere is like, fuck being super small and super skinny, like you can still look fucking amazing with muscle and shape and size. And I think I just find, I literally put up a post right this last night on Instagram because I honestly find it, I actually find it so and I don't use this word lightly 'cause I don't like using this word, but triggering this fuck as someone who is, like I literally said, I was like, I've survived the two tyrants. Do you have any idea how hard I have to work to heal the like just culture of be small, be skinny, like shrink yourself, be the smallest version of yourself? I have to work so fucking hard to heal that part of me. And now to see it coming back, it's just I just my heart breaks for all these young girls who are gonna see these people who are just so small and frail and just think that that's what's like desirable. And I'm like, no, fuck that. I'm not trying to have sarcopenia and break bones by the time I'm 50 because I have no fucking muscle on my body. No, like strong, healthy. That is what's hot, that is what's sexy. Like, no, I just, yeah. I just, I can't, like I just feel like it was, I feel like I was put on this earth to show women that being small is not fucking cute. Like look, okay, sorry. I wanna tread carefully. Everyone can have preferences for their body. I totally understand that. Like, if you wanna be small, you can be small. But like, I just don't like that it's like the body, like the trend. I hate the idea of like body tops being trends, but I just don't understand like, should we not all be pursuing health? And at the end of the day, having no fucking muscle and eating, this is the thing with some of these drugs, right? Like people are not eating enough fruits and not eating veggies and not eating protein. They're literally making themselves on healthy, you can see in their face, you can see in their skin quality, like they look starved. And I was just, I feel like I was put on this earth to show women that that is not fucking cute. And I want people to not be afraid to take up space and be strong and that you can still be fucking feminine and you can still be sexy, but muscle, like that's what I want to show. So, sorry, that is such a tangent, but like it's been so mind-blowing lately. 'Cause I just, as someone who has literally had like, fucked up bodies more here and just ordered eating since the time I was like seven or eight years old. No, can we just not with this? Can we just not, okay? Fuck that. So anyway, but I'm feeling great. I'm feeling great. So anyway, I just want to show people like you don't have to, like because the last few years I've obviously been quite lean in the summer and like I'm not saying I'm not lean, I'm so aware of the fact that I'm still quite a lean person. I'm going to get less lean as the next few months go on and I'm not scared. Like I'm not fucking scared, like who cares? I just decided, 'cause I was having a bit of a moment was it like last week or the week before? It was like the week before. I was just having a bit of a moment and I was like, do you know what? I've just decided I'm gonna be hot as fuck.
Speaker 1Just stop in and ask a green vest, like me. For the best gifts out there, shop in store or at REI.com. Chronic Migraine, 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more can make me feel like a spectator in my own life.
Speaker 2Botox, on a botulinum toxin A, prevents headaches and adults with chronic migraine. A lurcher doctor right away is difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. A lurcher reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia, Gravis, or Lambert Eaton Syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. - Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit Botox Chronic Migraine.com, or call 1-800-44 Botox to learn more. -
Speaker 3I am hot as fuck. I've just decided I am hot as fuck. I'm not gonna let the voice in my head tell me that like not being shredded is not hot. Like even if I look at, obviously last year, at like two weeks out of my show, I went to a wedding with Shane. And I felt awful. I felt awful. I was so self-conscious. I felt, ugh, conscious that's like the weekend just gone. I felt, I felt fucking hot. I was like, I look good. Like this dress looks good. I look good. I look like myself. Whereas if I look at the pictures of me from that wedding last year, I'm like, oh my god. I had to nobody actually question what was wrong with me. It was not good. So anyway, that's where we're at. It's June next week. We're busy, busy, Shane is back. I'm home now for, well, actually in two weeks, I'm actually going to Manchester for literally one night for the LFP posing workshop because some of my clients are going that are competing and also just like other clients. So I can't wait to see all of those. And also to see Sonaya Amy see not my bikini sponsor. So I will be going to that, that's a free fly in Friday night, fly back Saturday night. So that's not going to disrupt anything. And then we're home, we're home literally until the 4th of July for the next wedding. So, you know, I've got a good stint ahead of me now. I cannot wait to just see how much progress we can make, what we can really do. And yeah, wow, 17 minutes. Oh my god, I think that might be a record of how long I have fucking gapped. It's because I haven't actually recorded a podcast in two weeks. I was doing really well at being ahead. I do already have my next. one planned I'm gonna try and get that recorded this weekend so that again I'm ahead but this will happens when I have two weeks worth of shit to catch you guys upon. It just means the next podcast you listen to I probably won't do a big like debrief because what's gonna happen in the next day or two probably not anything you know. Okay anyway let's get into the topic today's podcast so as you can see from the title this is gonna be a bit more of like a mindset that everyone is one I've been thinking about a lot lately and that is that growth is fucking meant to hurt okay I feel like I'm always saying this to clients to people in content and I'm definitely touched on this in podcast episodes like throughout the throughout the two and a half years this is like episode 170 guys I'm nearly at 200 what the fuck have I been talking about for 200 to 170 episodes why do you also listen to me honestly fair play to you but I'm definitely touched on this you know like leading to discomfort embrace failure but I also just want to talk about you know this lie that so many of us have been sold that if something feels hard or it's uncomfortable or it's lonely or it's painful or it's very like emotionally heavy that maybe that means we're doing something wrong but I think the older I got you know approaching my 30s and the more I go grow like grow and go through things like bodybuilding running a business even things like relationships you know life it's the more I've realized that growth sometimes is meant to hurt okay and so I want this podcast to be for any of you who are right now you're going through it right you are in the trenches you are working towards a big goal you're in discomfort you know maybe you're maybe you're in prep for your show maybe you're just in a fat loss phase maybe you're trying to build muscle maybe your life has been changing and shifting and maybe you're in like a little bit of a lonely chapter you feel like disconnected from the person you used to be you're not quite yet the person you want to become you're sort of in that middle ground maybe you've been starting over maybe you've moved maybe you've moved to a new city you've lost people maybe that's breakups or friendships or grief maybe you're trying to build more confidence or maybe you're just trying to build a new version of yourself you know like it's like me four or five years ago moving from academic university into bodybuilder coach like I had to become someone new and if you're one of those people in one of those places right now if you feel uncomfortable and things feel uncomfortable I want you to consider that maybe you're exactly where you need to be right now okay and maybe that growth it's not a book it's not a problem it's not an issue maybe it's a signal okay so before we get into it don't forget to follow the podcast give me a five-star rating if you're listening on Spotify or Apple podcasts if you're watching this on YouTube make sure you're subscribed make sure you like make sure your comment I'll always share these in the internet ethernet wherever social media tag me i'm a docurface so I can say thank you and because I always do appreciate what anybody listens to my little podcast share with someone that you think might benefit because obviously the more that you share this podcast and it grows the better my episodes will hopefully get it's not like I because I don't really do guest episodes I can't be like I can get better and better guests I really should lean into the guest episodes more is there's that really guests that you guys think that I should bring on just let me know but anyway I think you guys just like the fact that I yap even though it's so much more work for me I like work you know what I mean I like being able to yap this is just like my little corner of the internet where I can just my thoughts anyway patreon as I said bonus content check-ins all the juicy goss links down below and of course if you're interested in coaching as well you want to work with me or one of my amazing three coaches Kiva Fe or Zoe I think they're always down below okay anyway as I said discomfort and pain sometimes it's not a book sometimes that is actually a signal now what we need to understand is humans we are wired to avoid discomfort okay and generally your brain is going to interpret any uncertainty or change as danger it's going to think that you're doing something wrong it's going to ask you to retreat stay safe stay small but actually what you need to understand is growth requires adaptation adaptation requires stress and stress creates discomfort so actually maybe growth is a sign that you're doing exactly what you need to do all right and we can even look at this in so many different areas like you know for example you're trying to build muscle right we are not building muscle by just like lifting baby weights and doing nothing we're a bit lifting we're building muscle by training very very hard training close to failure putting our bodies under stress creating some damage which then drives muscle growth right and I think that's why I love training and bodybuilding your muscle building because it almost acts as this beautiful analogy for everything in life you know I feel like because I love training you know I love to train to failure that literally switch my mindset from failure as bad to failure as good and failure as the goal you know even things like neuroplasticity rewiring the brain that requires discomfort if you're feeling uncomfortable it means your brain is literally rewiring in the present moment even growing emotionally you're probably going to have to challenge your identity your limiting beliefs the person that you think you are and if you want to get confidence right that's going to come through exposing yourself to discomfort putting yourself in those higher situations showing yourself that it doesn't fucking kill you rather than avoiding all of these things and we also have to remember that the nervous system it wants familiarity right it doesn't necessarily want you to be happy it wants you to keep doing the same things it wants you to keep repeating the same patterns of thoughts and habits and behaviors because they are ingrained and it knows what those patterns look like and it wants to just keep rescinding them rescindling them that's a hard word to say guys rescindling them again and again and again and the unfortunate thing is for so many people they got so comfortable doing the same things they wake up you know their days look the same they never challenge anything they stay safe and that just keeps them small it stops them from growing it stops them from expanding and it stops them from stepping into the identity all of the person that deep down they really want to be and there's a phrase I can't even remember who said it but it's like the brain pervers a predictable heaven a predictable hell over an unpredictable heaven so your brain would rather you be miserable but know it's going to be miserable than potentially put yourself in a position where you might get something better but that's not certain right it will rather certain pain over uncertain growth and again this is just down to your brain wants to keep rescindling the same pathways again and again and again because that process of neuroplasticity it's uncomfortable you know it's easier for you to stay in the job that you kind of low-key don't like because it's predictable and it's certain and it's familiar than quit that job and go and try and do something new try and start a business or just go into a new company because you don't know what's going to happen and that unpredictability that feels really fucking dangerous when I always say like most times anytime you've changed something in your life it's probably ended up going pretty well but like your brain will still have that story that like no no if it's uncertain I'm not changing it's the same with look people this is why people stay in relationships that are fucking bad for them because it's predictable like okay yeah he treats me kind of shitty and he's not very nice and he never takes me out on nice dates and he never does things nice for me and he kind of isn't really like he kind of like puts me down a lot but at least I know that he's going to stay here and it's safe but if I leave him I'm going to be single what's the dating scene like will I ever find someone new even though the pretty obvious answer is like life will probably be better alone with so much dick but it's certain and you don't want to go for the uncertainty because uncertainty feels really fucking scary for your brain you know and again it's like I always will just bring back to training as the analogy like no one expects that they're going to grow muscle without encountering resistance pushing themselves hard feeling a little bit of pain but emotionally we expect we're going to have this transformation without any friction you know and this is where we need to introduce you to the concept of hormesis so hormesis is basically the idea that exposure to manageable stressors makes us stronger and more resilient so again for example resistance trading right we expose ourselves to a manageable stressor like it feels hard and comfortable you're not going to break your bones right expose yourself to the stress you adapt grow you get stronger you know even things like cold exposure you know wouldn't be for me I'm going to be so fucking honest you will not find me in an ice bath I'm not doing that shit sauna love ice bath no I did go into the CES day for the first time this year for like a second I go into the sea so I get salt on my body and then I can tell well you know even when I do go into the sea right I'm like I am so bad with the cold but like when I first step in I'm always like oh my god it's so cold and then once I just dunk myself in do you ever notice like it suddenly doesn't feel cold anymore same thing you know learning any new skill like if you want to learn in language right you expose yourself to the stress of not really knowing this and that's how you learn. Even a calorie deficit, right? You expose your body to a stress, it adapts, it breaks down body fat, it liberates calories so that you can keep surviving and in the process you get leaner. Even things like emotional challenges or feeling frustrated or even like difficult conversations with people that you don't want to have, like all of these things, the body in the mind, they adapt because of stress, not in spite of it. It's the stress that literally is causing the adaptation. Your body and your brain, they are adaptive systems, they don't grow in the absence of a challenge, they grow in response to it. You cannot have the growth without the stress. It just doesn't happen and when I say stress, I don't mean like physical mental stress, I just mean stress is anything that disrupts equally room in the body, right? The body of the brain. Stress is just disrupting that. That is literally required for you to grow, right? Again, we expose our muscles beyond their current capacity, they grow. We stress our cardiovascular system beyond what it can do, it adapts, we get fear, right? You would stress your brain through learning, studying, trying to understand concepts, it starts to adapt to that, you start to understand things. Again, this is how we literally learn, right? My first day in fucking university, I was like, oh, my first day, if science wasn't too bad, I'll be honest, when I started biochem, and we, I will never, ever forget, we had neuroscience, and it's so funny looking back because now ever it's obsessed with neuroscience, I love it, but I remember the first few lectures of neuroscience, I was like, no, I will never understand this, but I kept trying, and I kept trying, and I kept trying, and now look at me, like, I fucking love it. It boils off your outlines, you know what I mean? And again, even your emotional resilience, that develops through exposure to difficulty, like, I am, I have the resilience I have emotionally because of the shit that I have gone through, you know, it's like, I always say, grief was the worst thing that I ever, ever felt, you know, when my dad died, I thought I was never going to get over that, and it is, you know, and I'm, I've grown so much, and like, we come so strong, and so resilient, because of that intense pain that I felt, and I had to just face it and go through it, and now I can, I can handle things, it's even like, my emotional resilience within, like, how I feel about myself, and with business, like, everything, because I went through difficult situations, I am now so much better at handling them, right? And so the goal is to avoid the stress entirely. The goal is to become more capable, just through appropriately dozed stress, okay? So there's three types of growth pain that were probably, you know, listeners of this podcast, going to encounter. So the first is physical discomfort, right? So let's say you are trying to get lean, both muscles, right? You're probably going to encounter things like really hard sets in the gym that feel painful. You're probably going to feel hungry, you know? Maybe you're going to have muscle soreness. Maybe you're even going to feel uncomfortable about your body during certain phases, right? You know, if I look back, you know, like I just said, like, I feel, I feel so much more at peace now with my body, not at its leanest, but that's probably like, but I have also gone through phases where I have felt not great in myself, you know, where I felt soft, where I haven't like been a big fan of my like, off-season physique, because I kept comparing it to my prep physique, whereas I think just over time and over repetition, I've gotten better at that, you know, even things like, like, again, I will always, always, this is something I'm talking to clients about, and I think this is probably what inspired this podcast a little bit is, you know, if you're in a deficit, if you're in a prep and you're hungry, your tires, your energy is low, maybe you have cravings, they are not a sign that something is wrong, they are a sign that things are changing and that your body is adapting, you know? And I didn't exit the womb being able to handle, you know, hunger and low energy, like I was really bad at it, and I just, because I exposed myself to it again and again and again, I started to learn that I can sit with that, and it doesn't need to mean anything, like I don't need to attach any sort of meaning to that physical discomfort, it is just something that I'm feeling in the moment, you know? And the only way you get better at doing that is by sitting with it and exposing yourself to it, right? And even just like outgrowing, like old identity attachments, like when, you know, I always had that story of, I can't die it, I have no discipline, all of these little things, they can like drive some physical discomfort, but I definitely think it's the low energy, the hunger, all of that side of things.
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Speaker 3I'm lifting a little bit more. I'm not going from 100 to 200 because that's not going to happen. I almost think of progressively overloading discomfort within, for example, like a dieting phase. That's why you're not going to have someone go from like 2,500 calories down to 1,000 calories when they haven't learned how to do that, right? Let's say someone's dieting for the first time. You might take their calories down to 2,000. Let them sit there. Let them handle the discomfort there for a while. They get used to it. Then maybe we make another change. They're getting used so that, again, you're almost progressively overloading that discomfort, right? I think that's same principle of progressively overloading stress. It builds muscle, but it also builds people, right? I think you just slowly exposing yourself to more and more discomfort and pain. That is what's going to drive growth, right? I think a really key insight here is that sometimes growth physically feels worse before it looks better. That's why you have to learn to embrace things like discomfort in your training. That's why the effective reps that really stimulate muscle protein synthesis, they're happening 0, 1, 2, 3 reps away from failure. They're really painful ones. They're the ones that people avoid. Again, as someone who watches form clips all the time, a lot of the time most people's issue is they're stopping before it gets hard or it starts to feel a little bit hard and then they stop. When it starts to feel a little bit painful, that's when you fucking start working because that pain that you're about to encounter, and it's not really pain, it's uncomfortable, that is what is going to drive the growth that you are looking for. That's why I love bodybuilding. To me, it has just taught me that discomfort and progress like they go together. I know now when I'm going through an uncomfortable stage within like business or life, I just think about right. The times in my bodybuilding career when I've seen the most change, it's when I've been the most uncomfortable. I don't need to be scared right now. I don't need to be scared of how I feel or how out of my depth, I feel and actually I need to lean into this and embrace this. Again, we can even have mental discomfort, so something I love to talk to people is like neuroplasticity and how that actually feels. So, neuroplasticity is essentially the rewiring of the brain to create new pathways, neural pathways, pathways of thoughts and habits and behaviors, right? So if we're trying to change our behavior, we're essentially trying to like override our old neural pathways with new ones. And the reason why our brain likes to just signal through the same old pathways again and again is because that's the brain conserving energy, right? And so it's easy to do those things, whereas building new pathways, it requires a lot of energy for the brain, and that's why new habits can feel so exhausting. So when you're trying to become a new person, your brain initially is going to resist because your current identity is so deeply ingrained and deeply conditioned and something I always to talk to people about is the actual like neurological signaling that is happening when we are trying to undergo um neuroplasticity right so when we are like firing and rewiring new neural pathways the neurotransmitter that is involved in that process is called acetylcholine acetylcholine when it signals in high events it feels frustrating so when you are trying to do something new and it feels frustrating just try and say to yourself this is my brain rewiring this is literally my brain in real time I am seeing this happen my brain is rewiring and that is a beautiful thing like you are literally watching this amazing thing that happens in nature like it's happening in real time and it's down to like stress signaling right and stress again stress people look at it as like a stress is bad stress hormones and stress is not inherently bad and acute stress is adaptive we need it we grow through appropriate exposure to these small stressors right there's a difference between stress that expands us you know challenges things that causes to grow and adapt and obviously the stress that destroys us which is you know chronic long-term stress where we don't deal with it mentally well but you being exposed to like small bits of stress it's not a bad thing again something I'm always saying to myself I thrive in the chaos when life is stressful I thrive in the chaos that just helps me remember that like I can handle this you know and again it's learning the balance between like chronic overwhelm where maybe you do need to like address something in your life versus just productive just comfort like if you're working towards goal and it just feels a little bit uncomfortable that's a good thing that is a good thing you know again your brain it's literally wired around repetition habits thoughts emotional responses beliefs yourself image they're all so deeply ingrained these neural pathways so when you try to change your brain needs to build new pathways and the old pathways still feel easier they still feel safer and that's why the new habit it feels unnatural you're you being confident initially it feels fake you growing it feels uncomfortable and it's going to be so tempting to revert back because your brain loves efficiency it just wants to automate behaviors right and it's great when the habits serve you but not so great with keeping you stuck okay and so when you feel that discomfort happening just remember that is your brain trying to choose between the predictable familiar present and an unpredictable future but maybe that future is exactly what you need right again like even like from a discomfort side of things like let's say you are going into the gym you got a new training program maybe you've just started training it feels really awkward it feels uncomfortable you don't know what you're doing you feel stressed about it that is literally your chance to grow and build that new identity for yourself you know you're going to learn to train hard you're going to learn to be disciplined with your food being someone who doesn't quit like all of these things they're going to feel really really mentally uncomfortable at first okay and again there's emotional discomfort as well so I kind of touched on a lot of these things would say like being in a lonely chapter right you've outgrown old versions of yourself and as a result you've outgrown maybe the people that were around you maybe people don't understand you I think this is something that a lot of you know women or I just say women because most of my podcast listeners are female but you know a lot of people who say get into having a fit healthy lifestyle right they get a bit misunderstood by with people around them and the people around them might question what they're doing and you know they may be always trying to pull them back you know your your new identity is outgrowing the version of them that they perceive you to be and so they're trying to drag you back they're like no no no I want you to stay as a person that I know that you are but maybe that person is not who you want to be anymore and that can be really really uncomfortable to feel like you're leaving all people behind like I get it right I totally understand that and you can feel isolated you know if you're very ambitious and driven and the people around you just aren't like that can feel so isolating even things like you know pressures of like your job or business like all things I can relate to things like when clients leave or you're fearing failure or even fearing success sometimes that growth it's so uncomfortable but that's how you are going to get better at handling these things on the future and sometimes that growth it looks a bit like grief and it's not because you're failing but it's just because because parts of your old life they're not really fitting anymore you know and I think even things like having higher standards for yourself putting more pressure on yourself that can feel very emotionally uncomfortable but as long as it's not allowed to become toxic that can be what drives you to achieve more and more and more so if you're in that place where emotionally it feels uncomfortable you feel like you're leaving the old version of you behind good because that means you are literally expanding and getting to the the person that you want to be okay I want to talk a little bit about like good pain and bad pain because I don't want people to come away from this episode and be like okay so I just need to feel shit all the time that's how I know I'm working hard no that's not what I'm saying that's not what I'm saying whatsoever there is definitely two different types of pain right there's productive pain and there's destructive pain so productive pain is you know the discomfort of being disciplined it's trading card maybe it's been vulnerable vulnerable with people around you having difficult conversations that you know you need to have sacrificing things temporarily right maybe you feel a bit of fear when you're pursuing your goals you know maybe you're in prep and you feel you know uncomfortable with intention right like the whole point is to be uncomfortable you know you should be feeling hungry you should be feeling a little bit tired like that's productive in that in that place right productive pain usually has purpose it's going to lead you somewhere it's going to build your capability it's going to expand you right destructive pain is the opposite it's burn out it's in ignoring being injured it's toxic relationships it's punishing yourself it's being chronically stressed never recovering it's staying in situations that are diminishing you right growth hurts but self-destruction hurts too and I think what we need to have is the wisdom to know the difference between both right and this is where like bodybuild I obviously love it but like we do we do have to like try to carefully because some parts of the bodybuilding space almost glorify suffering and this is hard and again I'm not going to say that I have all the answers here because look at certain points in a prep you're going to have to do things you don't want to do you are probably going to have to eat way less than you want to and do more cardio than you want to and you're going to feel way worse than you want to and sometimes some people just accept that and like they actually they like almost do things that are so like so much you know like maybe they're eating like 500 calories and doing like four hours a cardio a day that maybe I look maybe for somebody but that's what they need to do well for some people maybe it is just that's a mismanaged prep prep or like poor coaching or you know things like that so it's kind of like right where do you draw the line and the answer is like I can't give you like a solid answer I can't say like oh if you have to eat less than this and do more than this that that's gone from productive praying to destructive pain I you know it's going to look different to everything to everybody but it's to remember that and I think especially with bodybuilding and I think I think the trend has changed a little bit and like I think there is more talking about you know like fatigue management I know people like roll their eyes at that but like managing fatigue managing prep timelines doing refeeds high days diet breaks and stuff like that rather than like a prep just being suffer as hard as you can because look there's going to be some suffering but also not that much like and I will always say and I know that this is like a genetic thing and just the way my body is but like I don't really suffer in a prep like what 13 1400 calories you know yeah I was doing quite a bit of cardio last time but I took that out at six weeks out like I don't suffer and like I've had clients where like they haven't had to like suffer again genetic I've had clients where they have had to push a lot harder so suffering is going to look different for everybody but also just around me that like you're not just like if you're in a prep it's not just right making yourself feel as shit as possible like that's not the girl yes discomfort yes like that's going to happen and that's what's going to propel you forward but it's kind of learning the balance and again I can't I can't sit here and give you like a definitive answer of what that looks like because it's going to be different for everybody okay now unfortunately in our day and age a lot of people label discomfort as a bad thing and this is where we need to just reframe that mindset okay so this modern culture you know it's great it's so comfortable but we are always seeking that comfort right we want instant gratification we want to avoid any pain everything is driven by dopamine you know we want to just cope with everything and a dopamine dependent fashion and so what happens is we've been conditioned to interpret this discomfort as just failure right but actually discomfort is often evidence that we're stretching our capacity you know remember your brain's primary job it's survival it's not fulfillment you know your your brain doesn't actually want you to transcend to higher levels of self-actualization and to be your most aligned self it just wants to fucking survive right and bear in mind where our brains evolved not in this modern era novelty and uncertainty like you know a thousand years ago that was that could be very threatening that could be very unsafe and so when we encounter those things now that novelty that uncertainty that activates those threat detection systems because historically that meant danger right so that's why we feel anxiety before big decisions it's why we feel uncomfortable when we're growing it's why we have fear when we're changing that's why we're so resistant to leaving our comfort zones because our brain you know our lizard brain is like that's It's not safe, it's not safe. Even though you are perfectly safe, you still live in your house, you still have food, you still have water, like no tiger is coming to get you. Your illicit brain is like, like sending the uncomfortable text or feeling a little bit of hunger, your brain, your brain doesn't know that that doesn't mean you're right to, like, you're not ready to starve for the next 10 years. It's like, like, you'll be fine, you know what I mean? It's even more like, you go to the gym for the first time. It feels so uncomfortable, so awkward, so intimidating. If you keep avoiding that discomfort, you're never gonna learn how to train properly. And it's like, I always say, sometimes I have clients, they start with me and they're like, oh my god, like, this feels so overwhelming. And I always say, in two weeks time, you will literally be a pro, like, you will feel so comfortable going in, but you have to go through this uncomfortable bit now. And like, your future self, it's usually hiding behind a conversation or a decision or a challenge that your current self is avoiding. So I want you to ask yourself, right, what challenges right now am I avoiding that my future self means me to go through in order for her to exist? I always say to clients, I'm like, look, this feels hard now. I want you to remember, there's a future version of you, like, in the future, she's looking back and she's like, fucking come on. I know you can do this. She is relying on you to show up, right? She is literally relying on you to show up today and do the hard shit. Like, think back to your past self, is there things you've done in the past that you're so fucking proud that you've done, that you've pushed yourself through because it got new to where you are now? If so, that's going to keep going. Like, I very much believe I'm like, there is a version of me, five years, 10 years. I know what she's achieved. I know what she's done. I know the fucking scales, like the heights that she has scaled to. I know she is watching me right now and she's like, fucking show up. Fucking do the shit you say you're going to do. She is relying on me and I'm not letting her down. I'm not letting her down. All right. So, how do we learn to build resilience? How do we actually sit with you to go for it? Before I get into that, I need to take a drink. I'm dying here. Don't forget to drink your water, especially with the heat guys. Every fucking check in I've done this week. I'd be like to people, I'm like, you need to drink more water and also salt your fruit. Do all those things. Anyway, so, we're going to give some actual like practical strategies, right? So, first thing, we're going to stop interpreting every fucking hard feeling is danger, right? You feel a bit hungry, you have a craving, you're a bit tired. What if it's not bad? What if that's just you adapting? Like that's literally what it is. It's not danger, it's just adaptation, okay? We're going to build evidence through exposure because I want you to remember, confidence comes after action, right? So, you're going to do a hard set. Maybe you're going to speak in public. Maybe you're going to make your first Instagram post that you've been putting off, right? You know, maybe you're going to go to the gym alone. Think of one thing you can do this week that you've been putting off. Can you do even 50% of it? Can you start to expose yourself that graded exposure to the sickness, right? Because that resilience, it's trained. It's not inherited, okay? And what I want us to all learn to do is just build that self-efficacy, right? Your belief in your ability to handle challenges. You know, we're not going to become confident from just thinking positive thoughts and affirmations. You're going to become confident from doing hard things, building evidence, and keeping promises to yourself, right? If you keep avoiding the shit that you know you need to do, you are never going to become the version of you that you're capable of, right? Like, avoidance is going to lower self-efficacy, exposing yourself to challenges is what is going to build it. So, every time you survive something difficult, I want you to reflect and go, okay, that means I am actually able to survive these things, right? This is huge. So, I want you to really like think about this every time, you know, say in the next week, you have a moment where you feel like the hungry. I want you to just sit with that and just go, okay, I'm feeling hungry. This is a chance for me to practice feeling hungry. I am just going to practice feeling hungry. And just watch what happens. You will probably be so fucking fine. Like, if I have days where I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm low energy, I literally just say to myself, I'm like, this is practice for when it starts to feel worse. Like, literally, 'cause it's probably well at certain points, and I just tell myself, this is practice. This is all practice. You know, if I feel like a real hungry day, when I'm in off season, I'm like, oh, okay, I'm just getting a little bit of practice and before prep starts, literally, that is it, okay? This gradual exposure to these stresses is going to improve your resilience, you know? And you can almost think of it as like, it's almost like a vaccine, it's like stress inoculation, right? Small controlled exposure creates that adaptation and allows you to get more comfortable with feeling these things again. And like I said, resilience, it's kind of like progressive overload. I love that, right? Like, avoiding all this comfort in weekends resilience, but if you can start to tolerate more manageable, smaller, uncomfortable boots of stress, it's going to expand your capacity. You know, that's why my first prep felt way harder than my second prep, even though on paper, my second prep was harder. Like, I ate last, I did way more cardio. It felt easier because I knew what to expect. Like, I was ready for it. It's even like now, like, I don't say like I'm great at public speaking, but like, I don't really have many issues public speaking. And, you know, like, not to treat my own horn, but I did a speech at my wedding and everyone said it was the best speech they've ever heard. And I was like, oh, wow, I wasn't expecting that, but part of it is because I do this. I do this fucking podcast. I do this all the time. So now I've gotten really good at public speaking, even though right now is not public, but I'm aware that this is people listening. So now, if I have to speak in front of a crowd, I'm like, oh, this is easy. Whereas before, I used to be awful at it. Like terrible, terrible guy. We're also going to zoom out, right? Obviously a huge part of this is delayed gratification. It's going, right, I am feeling uncomfortable now in pursuit of something better coming in the future. And it's always asking yourself, what is this pain doing to serve future me? What is this uncomfortable feeling doing to serve the version of me who has reached her goals? You know, okay, it feels hard now, good. That means future me is going to have it a little bit easier. Right? We also just need to make sure that we're regulating our nervous systems. If we want to be able to sit with discomfort and pain, we need to let our nervous system know that it's safe. So obviously that just comes down to our usual things like getting good sleep, things like journaling, going out for walks, breathwork, spending less time on social media. But like, if you want to be able to handle that discomfort better, you also need to be supporting your nervous system well and actually taking care of it, right? Because that's going to allow it to be more resilient, okay? And I think the biggest thing is just learning to separate your feelings from facts, right? Feeling uncomfortable does not mean you're fading, right? Feeling uncertain does not mean you're making the wrong decision. Feeling challenged doesn't mean that you're incapable. Feeling these things probably means you are on the path to changing. You know, so just remember it. I think that's the whole message of this podcast. It's like if you are feeling uncomfortable right now, in any way, it's not a fucking bug. It is a signal that you are probably on the right track and sometimes you literally just need to keep going, right? So if you're in a season of your life right now where it feels so hard and uncomfortable, right? I just want to remind you, growth was never meant to feel comfortable, right? That's not the point. It's meant to change you. It's meant to create a new and hopefully better version of you, right? And so maybe if you're feeling uncomfortable now, it's not evidence that you should stop. Maybe it's evidence that your current self is just being stretched beyond its own limits. And this growth and it's uncomfortable because transformation, it requires you to let go of who you are to become someone new. You know, someone who can handle the things that life is starting at them, okay? So I hope you've enjoyed that. A little bit more of a mind-setting one, but I don't know. I just wanted to talk about it. Basically, I just wanted, I want this podcast to be like a kick of the ass episode 'cause I do like doing these from time to time, all right? If you have enjoyed, don't forget to follow five stars only, share on social media, subscribe on YouTube, give it a like, give it a comment, coaching spaces for June, all down below, Patreon down below. I love you so much and I will catch you in the next one.
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