EP # 171: The Art of Connecting: Overcoming Social Anxiety & Being Genuine with Andrew Mijares, Singer-Songwriter

(upbeat music) - Welcome back to another episode of Everyday Endorphins, a mental health podcast focused on the importance of finding joy and happiness in daily living. I'm your host, Stella Stelestepnopoulos, and this week I am so thrilled to have Andrew Mihara's on the show. Andrew is a singer, songwriter, multi-hyphenate, but most of all just a really cool person that I had the chance to meet at Running Man, which is a wellness festival that I got to attend, speak out, and lead some yoga sessions earlier this year. And in this episode, Andrew and I unpack what's driving social anxiety, how can we be more connected in a digital age? And some of his strategies for developing deep often to connections with people. We also dive into dissecting what it means to be a modern masculine man. And Andrew shares a little bit about his perspective on what it means to be successful versus famous, how he's redefined that in his life, and how he finds happiness in his day to day. I feel like this episode is incredibly timely given all the dialogue right now in social media and in journalism around male loneliness, the masculinity crisis that we're in. Even the Vogue article is having a boyfriend embarrassing, like just the way that we're thinking about relationships, connecting our self-esteem, our self-worth, it's all very interconnected with how we see ourselves and our happiness in life. So it couldn't have been better timing to release this podcast, but so excited for you all to listen before we dive in, reminder to like, rate, interview, everyday endorphins on whichever listening platform that you prefer. Happy listening. Hi, Andrew, thank you so much for coming on to Everyday Endorphins. It's so great to have you here. Thank you for having me, of course. For those of my listeners who are tuning in who don't know how we met, we were both at the Running Man Festival, co-hosted by Devon and Jesse Itzler, which was such a cool weekend of events. And just out of curiosity, how did you hear about Running Man? I had been following Devon for about eight years now from like when he was still kind of influencing, but he was a trainer in New York. He really got me into fitness, whether he knew it or not. Well, actually now he knows it 'cause I met him finally. Then he started to post about Running Man. So I thought, let me give it a shot. I invited some of my friends. They are not the same kind of hungry go getters that I am. So you're in advance, I was like, let's run it literally. We got there and enjoyed the hell out of it and definitely we'll go back as far as long as they have me. I love that. I mean, also I think Running Man is the type of event where you can show up solo and just have the best time and meet people. The best time. You know? So I feel like it's even better to actually not go with friends and it just meet people. Yeah, absolutely. I made a plan for myself. I was like, Andrew's not gonna be super anxious like he normally is. And I was able to like get on that group chat that they deliver to us through the newsletter. Find certain like dudes that I thought were gonna be cool. Part of my friend group started DMing some of them and ended up coming out with like a small group that I met in Atlanta that I was able to take a ride from, then meet others and then come into the festival already knowing people. And that like changed the whole dynamic. I love that. I feel like that's actually a really smart way to like get to meet people before. So you show up like kind of having people that you know you're gonna hang out with but also so you don't feel totally alone but you're also still kind of like fine at solo. I didn't even realize there was a group chat. I guess I was not involved or like keeping those types of tabs. But I love it. And like I mean, at least when I met you, there was no anxious Andrew vibes. You were super friendly, outgoing, chitchatty and that's really what's bringing us here today. I remember we got into such a great conversation about happiness and joy and really like we barely even scratched the surface at Running Man about your story and how you fell into the world of performing and are in music. So I'd love to start there and have you share a little bit about your background and what got you into performing, singing and all the things that you're doing. - So it really started when I was a child. So my mom would take me to her ballerina shows in a stroller and I would just sit there and she would tell me that I'd be conducting the music and I was like the only child that really would sit through a two hour ballet performance and enjoy the hell out of it. And or what she tells me I enjoyed it. And then few years later it just started to become known that I'd like to perform, right? I'd like to be on a stage. I was part of different choirs that would tour around the US as well as like South America and whatnot. And then from there, start doing musical theater trying to find my niche. You know, as we grow up we're trying to find certain things that makes us happy. And at the end of the day I fell in love with pop music. That pop music translated to country music when my best friends took me to Tortuga Music Festival in Fort Lauderdale. I wrote a country song right there on my voice note and then released it a few months later and it became something that was like, wow, this is something Andrew can do. Multifacities going into the country scene. So then that started the whole country scene and now I'm on my second album that I'll be working on this weekend. - That's exciting. Yeah, here in New York, I wonder what I've got in New York's gonna inspire you as recording. - The city, the lights, the park, just the hustle and bustle, but also getting outside of my comfort zone, which again would be Miami, which again would be the surroundings that I surround myself in here. So I've learned that every time I take myself out for a small period of time, the influence, the creativity starts rolling and I can write my music like that. - Yeah, that's a really good point. Getting out of our routine and actively putting ourselves in experiences that push us out of our comfort zone, like I think that's where the most growth happens in life. And it's something I've also just been really craving recently. I'm excited for you to come to New York and get inspired and have this whole experience. For me, I need to get out of New York to feel the inspiration because this is really, like I've only ever really lived here except for college. And I feel like blessed to have this be my hometown, but at the same time, it's like there's too many things here that are very comfortable to me. And I find myself creatively inspired when I travel, for example, or when I go other places, but there is something about the energy of New York City that is like, it makes sense why it's a creative hub. There's so many people here that are in the creative arts and like doing so many different things. - Yeah, and I'd be remiss if I said I was doing this all by myself. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. My religion is a big part of my life. So wherever I go, I know I always have a plus one. I know that everything's going to be okay, but I also can't say, okay, I'm not going to try, right? So even with the social anxiety, I at least have to try and at least have to break that barrier because at the end of the day, God's not going to give you anything you can't handle. So I was able to handle all of these things up until this point in my life. So as I keep pushing through, that's definitely faith is definitely something that keeps me grounded, as well as meeting other faith-based friends. - Totally. I mean, there's so much research out there that supports how people who have a strong relationship to their faith, whether it be like feeling like you're a spiritual person or you're religious or however you want to define that. People who feel like they are connected to something larger than themselves typically tend to be happier and have a higher qualities of life or at least, there's more satisfaction out of living because there's a meaning behind it. You're able to derive some sort of meaning and purpose even through the more difficult moments. And that's something I've also been thinking about for myself in the past few years, just getting more connected to my own faith. I grew up Greek Orthodox and my dad's father was a priest. So the church was very much like a part of my family, like in our roots in our ancestry. And I grew up Greek Orthodox, but I never really felt like a sense of connection to the culture until a few years ago when I started to make friends in the community and all the things, but there is something so special around leaning into your spirituality. Like is that something that is a source of inspiration for you and the music that you create? Or is that just something that you bring into your personal life and helps you navigate social anxiety, for example? - I mean, I grew up into it, went to a Christian school for elementary, me and my older brothers. And then as I got older, I started performing that church to the point where that was more of a not only keeping me spiritually grounded, but also keeping me like performing and practicing. We were the type of church that had the big band behind me on the in-ears, a few backup singers, and we would just kind of just knock it out of the park. But it was something when you're in that line of sight from all angles, you have the crowd in front of you, you have God on top of you, and you just have the music behind you. It's just so powerful. So that's definitely been kind of like a spring forward for me to get better in my craft, like better in my spiritual journey. and then I incorporate that a lot in my music. That's why I gravitated to country music so much. Pop music was great, but I feel like it's here today, gone to moral type of like a swipe up. But then country music, you have the fans for life, you have a story that you're telling. It could include God, tractor, girl, white take offense, you know, all the hits. And so that's what's really keeping me coming back and writing more and more. And then as I write, it's like a journal of my life. Like I don't have a diary. But I do have a voice pad or a few notes that I instantly bring up when I'm in the studio. And I'm like, I remember this from this day, I was feeling this, let's go ahead and see what else can come out. Or I'll put it on some sort of AI. And I'm like, this is what I'm trying to say. What do you think? And it'll write me like a good like AB scheme. And I was like, OK, I like that. Let's put a melody to that, you know? I love-- OK, so you're going to like kill me. I've actually never really loved country music. But maybe you're going to change my mind about that because I-- of course, like people gravitate to different genres for whatever reason, right? But I love the way that you just described why country and not pop, for example, or why you've leaned more into country versus pop. And that really around the storyline. And I do think that people in any sort of creative field, whether you're an artist, a musician, a podcaster, whatever it is, any sort of creator, you are like expressing basically your public diary. Like your inner monologue, your thoughts, like the way that you see the world, is expressed through whatever modality that you're in, whether it's like singing or songwriting or interviewing. And I feel like, for me, at least, the way that I've seen my podcast evolve over time has been very reflective of different stages of my life that I've been in, and things I'd been going through and things that I've just naturally gravitated towards. And I'm curious, like, when you look back at the work you've put out there, do you associate certain songs with certain times in your life and like revelations that you are having? Like, how do you make that connection between the personal development journey but then also like the creative artistic journey and how you communicate those messages to a wider audience? - Absolutely. I would start with saying, if you would have asked me maybe five, six, seven years ago, I would say I wanna be famous and then I started to kind of digest what that meant. And now I don't, it's more like, if I'm known for being able to change people's perspective on not only the love of country music or the smiles when I'm performing, as long as I get to perform and have the body of work that I created be funneled to the masses, that's what fame is for me. It's not about the money, it's not about the, you know, everybody knows your name, that's all great. It's for me filling whole inside. And so to answer your question, yeah, every song because it's so genuinely me has a story behind it. I can tell you where I was thinking about this line or this line or even when I'm on, you know when you're on vacations and it's like, oh, this is the song of the weekend. In Georgia, it was speed demon by Justin Bieber 'cause Mike Smoke was my roommate and he's like, dude, have you ever heard this song and you played it? Insanely stuck, that's when I play that song, I run even faster 'cause I think I'm such a good time I had there. So every song kind of has that meaning, but it's not to say that somebody in, you know, B.F. Alaska or any other place that are listening to my music, whether it be in the States, out of the States, won't have a different thought process to it, right? So speed demon could mean something to some people could be about running. Speed demon could mean something about, you know, getting your life in order to somebody else. And so you'll never know until you meet Justin Bieber, but that's the whole kind of response to music. Everything can kind of hit you when it needs to, I don't know about you, but like whenever I'm going through something either physically or mentally, I sit in church and the message is like meant for that or even better the algorithm, you're scrolling. And it's like, are you dealing with an attachment issue and I'm like, whoa, how does it know? - Well, I think it probably knows because first of all, our phones listen to us and secondly, and you're looking at more of that content and just going to feed more of it to you. No, oh my God, the amount of like unhinged relationship stuff that comes up on my feet. I'm like, no one can look at my Instagram, discover page or whatever that is. Like every time I type in the search bar, a profile or whatever, I'm like, I have to do it on my, like no one can look and see because it will show all the content that's pushed out. The point I did wanna make that I wanna add on to what you said around like music, meaning different things to different people. I think that's so beautiful and so true because there's this body of work that's created by the artist that's put out into the world and it's so meaningful to the artist, but then the deeper layer of beauty that comes with that is how it's interpreted differently with different people. Like you can see the same painting, but two people are gonna have wildly different experiences of that painting. And then your point around fame really resonated with me because I've had to do a similar thought exercise of asking myself what does it actually mean to be famous? And like why do I want that? No, for a long time I also felt similarly when I was first starting out with the show. I mean, it really came out as a, as a passion project for me during COVID when I was still in college. And I kept up the interviews while I started my corporate job 'cause I was like, well, this is fun for me why would I stop? And then over time I realized I was actually getting quite good at it and I was deriving so much joy from interviewing and storytelling. Then I got to a point where I was like, well, if I keep creating content, I'm gonna have to blow up one day and like, why is that not happening? But then I had to really take a pause and ask myself, well, A, what does it mean to blow up and B, do I actually want that? Like why do I care so much around this idea of fame and recognition? And I had to kind of like reevaluate what success even meant to me. And I'd love to hear from you. I mean, I think you shared a little bit about that, but what is success looked like to you? Like what was there a critical moment in your life where you remember having to reevaluate why did you want fame in the first place? I don't think there was an exact moment. I think it just came over time just like maturity. I know last night I was scrolling and I came across a video of somebody saying, why do we harp so much on the likes and follows that we don't have when in reality? If you're getting 300 likes, do you know what that is? Like you put them in a room and that fills the room. So why not continue to gear your content to that audience and then that genuineness will spread? It's like if you try so hard to get 2000, 100,000, it'll maybe happen, but it's gonna be that much more of a feel like an upward battle going uphill versus just kind of staying in that constant and the people that are following you. 300 people is a lot of people for likes. Nowadays, you know, you look at, you just and they have this many, this many, this many, which is great, but everybody's on a different path, right? We're not all, you know, linear, everybody's higher, lower and rightfully so. And so if you're able to have that in a day to day, like a friend group or somebody that pushes you to continue, it's only gonna get better from there. Yeah, I love that. It's also like putting things into perspective because with social media now we're so inclined to compare ourselves to other people. And you have to kind of like actually remember, wait, 300, it's a big number. Like it will fill it, it does fill it. Why am I so hooked on needing more and more more? We have to like take a step back and actually celebrate the work that we've done to date and understand that it's actually very impactful. And you don't just snap your fingers and these things happen. Like it takes a lot of consistent dedicated effort. It's interesting too, because earlier you mentioned that you have had struggles with social anxiety. But for someone who's a performer, you're in front of people. I feel like they don't relate because in my brain, someone who is more socially anxious wouldn't be able to be in front of a crowd. And like in keeping an audience engaged. So I'm surprised to hear that that's something that you've struggled with. And I am curious like how has that, has it impacted your work or how do you navigate that? That's a good question. Going on stage has just been something that I've been doing and consistently working on to the point where there is no nerves. Something I haven't been working on is going up to random strangers and having a conversation and convincing them to be my friend. So that in itself, you're seeing two bodies of work, one that I've been working on and one that I kind of just think, like, oh, it'll happen on its own. You know, the best people that you've become friends with, it's because you've had to have either gone up, propose something, gave an elevator pitch, whether it be for business or just for, I mean, how many times do you think about that one friend that's the best friend that you've had, you have or had? And it took a little bit of effort to get to that point because some people, it's not that there's walls, but they're kind of just, they're kind of just glowing as they walk into a room, they kind of have their, you know, SHIT together. And so they are just vibrating at a different level. So in order for them to see you for what that is, you kind of have to match them, right? So I've taken that aspect of onstage and kind of turned it upside down for that and then vice versa. I'm still working on my onstage presence as well. It's not like it's something that just I was born with, has to do with being genuine. I keep going back to that word. Whereas I used to want to make songs that would be hits, right? Just how you want to make an Instagram caption that's hilarious. Uh-huh. Until it means something to you, it's not going to mean something to somebody else. Yeah. And by me being fully encompassed in this song and writing my heart out and singing my heart out, you might not have the first row, you know, engaged, but you have some one guy who's walking out of the store and he hears a melody or hears something that relates to him and instantly he is now drawn into it. So you, you really can't pick and choose who's going to follow you or what's going to surround you, but as long as you are on your path and in your confident, you have your undeniable truth. You know, it's, it's only up from there, right? We can choose how comfortable we want to be. It's only, you know, this thing up here, not my hat, but my brain that it's our brains that kind of like to play with our energies. And so we can choose to be happy all the time. We can choose to not think, well, I'm at the gym. I probably look like a fool. This dude next to me is why laughing. I can be like, brother, you look like you know how to work out. Can you teach me how to do this bicep curl? And instantly he's like, yeah, man, what's up? And then the next day you say hi, and the next day you say hi, and the next day you're like, dude, you live here? Like I live here too. And then it's like, it's, it's, it's a common bond over something that you just kind of have to let your guard or your, your, your anxiousness down because we weren't born with anxiety. Do you remember being an elevator as a baby and just waving to people behind you? Like I was driving home the other day and a dad was holding his child and the, and it was like, it was a baby and baby was just waving at cars. And I'm like, that's so, that's so different. No one waves at cars anymore. If anything, they're pointing another finger at a car, you know? So it's just things like that that I've been starting to think of the older I get. And it just puts everything into perspective. I love that. So I have a few thoughts that came up while you were sharing this. The first is that I do resonate with this idea that some of the deepest friendships that I've made were when I shot my shot and I was like, hey, do you just want to get a coffee? I didn't really know that person, but I was like, I just put myself out there and I like initiated the friendship essentially. And I feel like we have in life so many friends of convenience be a proximity or through a friend of a, whatever, like through your work or through your school that you went to or the fact that you live in the same city. And I don't even know if those should be the things that like are the, the like levers to friendship. Like of course it makes it easier to me people, but is that what should make us stay friends with some people versus others? Like just because we went to the same school, we're going to be friends forever just because we live in the same city. No, like as life goes on, who you choose to surround yourself with, I think is so important. And if you think someone's vibe is cool, what should be stopping you from just going up and saying, hi, and like asking to get a drink or a coffee with that person? You don't need to have so much obvious common ground to feel like it's okay to approach someone. I actually made a tick talk about this. It was from this like whole string of videos around like men not approaching women anymore and why I think men need to approach women more, which I actually would love to hear your perspective on this. But I made, I replied to a comment and it was about the comment was like approaching strangers in 2025 is crazy. And I, in my response, I was like, this is why social media is absolutely horrible because we're glued to our phones, we've lost the art of conversation. Like we've lost the art of just exactly what you described. Like you see someone and they're doing this rep well and you're like, hey, like you're good at working out. Can you teach me how to do XYZ? Like we're so afraid to just meet people in the wild, romantically and platonically, like all forms of relationships and connection. And I've been thinking a lot about this topic too because I feel like we've, we've diluted our social skills as a species. Like as the human race. Like I don't know what it is in this day and age, but it's, people are afraid to just be open and honest and put themselves out there. But it's like there's such little to lose. Like why don't we just do this more? Yeah. It's all based from the military grade device that we have in our pockets at all times, right? We're our cell phones. Yeah. I'm at the gym most of the time and people are, we're literally walking up a staircase, walking down a staircase and everybody is in their own world. And it's morning. That's the easiest time you could say, "Good morning. Good morning." And I'll play with it if they don't say good morning. I go, "Nice to see you too." And I'll just, you know, I'll play it for myself, makes me feel good. You just never know when someone's going through a bad day. So by you speaking up, you could kind of change a trajectory of that person's day. So that's what I love. When it comes to your question about talking to girls, it's not hard. It's just, again, you have undeniable proof that you say who you are. You say, and you do the things who you say you do and are. And what that means is if they don't like me, it's not based off of me because on who I am and I do what I do and I bust my ass, getting to the places I want to get to. And so if they can't see that from just a superficial conversation, sure, that's fine because it's superficial. But that's why you don't start with like, "Hey, how's it going? How's the weather?" That's so dumb. You kind of also can't go so deep. So it's just more like you see them, you wave, you say, "Hi." There's so many times I'm walking down the street and it just happened the other day where my friends are like, "Do you know her?" I was like, "No." She's like, "Dude, she just smiled at you." I'm like, "Yeah." I said, "Hi." It's like, "The small things." So this is so, yeah, this is hilarious because in this video, a lot of, I realized how many people out there are just incredibly lost on this whole, you know, subject. And there were a lot of people that commented how like they'll never approach women and how there's just like this, what I gathered was like this deep fear of rejection and also a very low self-esteem across many individuals. And to your point, it's like if you do certain strategies to increase your self-esteem and your self-confidence and your sense of self-worth, a rejection won't sting as badly and it won't inhibit you from just going and shooting your shot and like a kind, respectful, not creepy way. And I used that language in the video and that really got a lot of attention because people kept saying, "Well, creepy is very much based on off of whether or not a girl finds a guy attractive." And I don't believe that because there could be someone who's not that attractive that like were to approach me. But if they did it in like a way that energetically, I was like, "Okay, they're kind, human and they have good intentions." I wouldn't call that creepy. I'd be like, "Oh, they shot their shot and that's fantastic. I'm just not interested in that person." But there's a lot of polarizing views on this. Think, just step back and not always want it to end up in the bedroom. I'm never going up to ever girl wanting her to be my girlfriend. It's more just like being nice, being a human. I'm very picky. So when I do find that, I will stumble on my words because I am human. But, you know, just saying, "Hi." It's like, we go to school, we get good at a craft, we get a job in that craft, we get better, you know, we make more money. What is the difference between that and relationships? You have to put in work, you get better at it than you get promoted. You know, maybe it's a better looking person. I don't know, superficially. And then, and then you have a lasting relationship because you've worked so hard, so many times people go through in and out of relationships and they don't really learn much. Like this time, as we're young, is for us to learn what we like and what we don't like in dating and then bring what works into the next one, into the next one. Hopefully, you won't have to jump that many times, but the whole point of a relationship is to just be so whole in yourself that anything could happen. And you know, it's, it is what it is. You know in yourself that you are who you say you are and they should know that too. And then you come, You you meet in the middle, you make 100% 100% and that's it. But when you go up to talk to people, you just it's the process of not doing this often. It's the process of getting the dopamine from the phone when you get nervous. Even adults do it now. I walk past and adults will just go like this, you know, like to the side or look down. I'm like, look me in the eye, say hi. Hand gestures are a big deal. Sometimes people are more visual. So by you saying hi, maybe they can't hear you, maybe they have AirPods, so you do one of these. I know what helped me and this is going to sound silly, but I made small goals for myself. I'm going to make two friends today at the gym. I'm going to say hi to five people running past me when I run down the block. Those small things, I'm going to smile at somebody. I'm going to give a compliment. My biggest thing is the what's that method. A nice watch. What's that? There's a method or like what's that method? What's that method? Or you get an elevator and you make a casual joke. You're like, what floor? And then they ask you what floor? And then you name a floor that's not even on there. And then they laugh. And then it opens it up or oh shoot, you get you parked on the fifth floor again. That's so crazy. Like that traffic was awful getting in. So I, you know, it's like just just be friends with everybody. Kind of flirt with everybody. I can't really tell you how much it's it's important to be friends with like the staff at places or hotel receptions. I went to a wedding once and I had booked the weekend. I thought this was going to be the best hotel experience. It was just further than I imagined from the actual wedding venue. So I was able to call my girl Jenna and I was like, Hey Jenna, I checked in last night. I'm going to I know I'm supposed to be with you for the next two nights. But it's just 40 minutes away. I don't really want to continue that over back and forth. There's anything you can do because it was not or fun to push. Let me see what I can do within seconds. She was like, I got you Andrew. No worries. Come back whenever you want. So it's one of those things like you don't have to be a mastermind to be able to quote unquote work the system because the system is so easy. Like the bar set so low because the anxiety is so high. So right now if you're just a nice person to everybody, you're going to get more than you bargained for. You know, how many times are you on a phone call with an operator and you lose your cool and then you get nowhere. But then you start a conversation like, Oh, you're an Arkansas. That's awesome. How's the weather there? blah, blah, blah. Oh, you love this. I love this football team. Hey, so what do you think about the Wi-Fi? He's like, you know what? I'm going to take care of it for you. No worries. Let me just go ahead and call some people. But it's like when when in reality, I would have to wait like two weeks for an appointment. So it's it's I mean, you make such a good point. And I think and I think you alluded to this, but it's like, you need to do this from a place of like actually meaning it. You know, people are so easily suss out whether or not you're being genuine or not. I mean, back to the word you kept using this sense of being genuine. People can so easily tell if you just don't really care, right? Or if you're doing it just to like, speed a lot across this or whatever, but like, it actually used to come from a place of curiosity, I think. And curiosity across all types of people and all levels in life and whatnot, you know, I think that's a really good behavior to practice is setting those goals like you mentioned earlier. I'm going to smile to two people, two new people a day or I'm going to strike up this random conversation. I think when we do these behaviors, like we're living more presently also, we're not on autopilot, we're not tuned in, we're engaging with the world around us. And I think that's a really great point you made. Like the bars so low because the anxiety is so high. What are we also fearful of? Like, it baffles my mind. And I love just some of the advice that you shared also on like, going up to girls approaching them. I feel like I mean, through these TikTok videos that I've made, another theme that's resurfaced is the male loneliness epidemic. And something I've been thinking about too is like having an empathetic view towards the modern man, because I think that men now have like a very skewed perception of masculinity. And there's like a lot of pressure to fulfill these roles or to to be masculine. And I would love to hear like your perspective on on what masculinity actually means to you because something that really like kind of felt very different like when I started talking to it running man was your openness to connect into chat and also, you know, your perspective on like just being like choosing happiness every day and being very outgoing and sociable, you know, I and wanting to engage in conversations about emotional maturity, building up those skillsets to actually like have those deeper conversations with your friends and feel like men don't have those conversations with other male friends. It's it, I don't know like help me figure this out because I'm not a guy. So I'm only going off of what I see. Yeah, not my own experience. All right, this is going to be a little unconventional, but I feel like the whole masculinity talked down to we don't have this anymore is kind of BS. We do it's just it's based out of how much you put into your own self based on again, the truths that you build for yourself, the confidence you build for yourself, the people you surround yourself with your family. If your family is always constantly telling you to reach for the stars, skies the limit, you're never going to have that chip on your shoulder. You know, if your mom and your dad are both married, if your family is together, that can just skyrocket you to infinity and beyond. And then the people who you hang out with, the guys who you hang out with, the guys on your team, whether that be sports or in just like your small group at church, those people are what make you who you are. And so this word masculine, yeah, it's great to throw around, but if you're a man, you're masculine, like that's just that's it's it's kind of in our in our DNA, right? So how can we go about talking about mental health? Sure. Some people don't know how to go there. Others do. It has to do with emotional intelligence. It has to do with a little bit of trauma, just a sprinkle of trauma, tiny tea trauma, just a tiny tea trauma. And you know, just put yourself in situations where you can't talk to people like that. And then you'll realize it's not this whole masculine, unmasculine. It's the people who you want to be around will treat you how you should be treated, not the other way around. So again, I we keep going back to Georgia because it was such a great time that people I surrounded myself, they made me feel myself. And for the longest time, I was trying to get back to what made Andrew Andrew, after all of these blankets had been covering me from all this conditioning, not only living in Miami, where you can smell BS from a mile away, but it's like, I want to be somewhere where I'm wanted. And I want to talk to somebody who wants to hear what I have to say. And it's not transaction. So all in all, masculinity comes from you being able to be yourself, no matter who's in front. And if they want to talk about it, you talk about it. I know we did talk about like how do you know if someone wants to be vulnerable? It's kind of like an iceberg, right? You're just you're you're kind of digging in. And you might strike something that takes you very low into the chamber of the bottom of the iceberg. And until then, you're kind of just you're playing at the top level. But I think people, people read that or you get better at reading that with somebody. The older you get, like the worst thing you can tell me is good when I say, how's your day or like, how are you? Like, I want to know, man, I went to the hospital and this happened or, you know, I lost my dog the other day. And I'm like, okay, so that makes a real conversation. And then from there, I can interject certain things. Do you want to be heard? Do you want to be helped? Do you want advice? You want me to just hug you? You know, you know, I'm just hear you like those type of communications go a long way versus in one year out the other and then move on to your nine to five business day because Betty had such a sick weekend, you know, it's like, cool. What else can we talk about? You know, it's so many good. How are you? Good. Good. How are you? How was your weekend? Good. Good. Good. Good. And I think that those surface level conversations like just make us feel so disconnected. Like you can have a million friends. And this is the conversation that you're having back and forth. But are you really friends if you don't really know what's going on or if you don't feel safe to open up or be like emotionally a bit more vulnerable? And for whatever reason, I do feel like men struggle with this more because there's a there's such as something that's a bit more challenging to open up and invite that kind of dialogue. And I do think we need more male role models to set this the state for this, like to set the tone and to say, hey, you know, it's like it's okay to be open and like to be expressive. And that's actually what builds deeper connections with our friends with our in our relationships. Like this is the important stuff, not just floating by with the surface level BS. I mean, even as a podcast host, the way I now approach my in-person interactions are like completely different. I have such a low tolerance for surface level conversation these days, even if it's what someone I don't know and I'm not saying like the minute we start talking you have to tell me like all of the crazy shit in your life like, no, of course there's a time in a place for everything. But I just, I sometimes find it really hard to connect with people who give me like an inch, I'm like, this isn't this is just I would rather be at home alone watching TV show. Then through a painful one sided conversation. And it's across the board too. You get it on social media the other day. I made a post. I'm like, do you guys just hate you or what like why you want social media if I can see your face and your name and you just scroll through it like, what does that mean to me granted. I know some people just use it for that for the scrolling, but you have to at least like or comment if if we're close right if if we're great friends and you know I wanted to perform here for so long and I'm finally performing here and yet you don't write anything. So those are the type of also people just don't know how to be genuine. They they could do it in person or they can do it online with comments, you know, it's great to put a happy like a laughing emoji or like a thumbs up but give me some substance. And so that's just how I've been just kind of countering the social anxiety in my head being like, it wasn't me. It's them. So if I could just continue the trajectory that Georgia put me on continue making those friends from a friend group that I created by myself. So I'm going to fly to these people that so openly accepted my thoughts and and my humor and my company that it's going to be a more fulfilling life than being in a place that's not working and trying to and trying to and trying to and if you keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again and trying to get results. And not getting results. That's insanity. That's literally definition. So if it's not working for you here, get up and go somewhere for the next week and a half weekend, leave the phone, you know, just meditate on what you want to do. The brain can kind of finesse through all the neurons that have been just like given dopamine for so long get a nice sleep, work out, you know, start doing better at your job, start showing up early to things and just doing those things. So kind of pop into place, it'll make you more social because you have this undeniable truth that you say what you are is who you are and what you've done is is kind of create this whole path in this flow state, if you will, of just kind of being above the bar that said so low. And it's like also just like simplifying things to you know our phones were just bombarded with information were bombarded with plans were just like we're constantly overstimulated. I think that's why we're all just living in Lama land and where we've lost the skill of being engaged with people because we're not engaged generally speaking, we're passively consuming so much. And we're just going through the motions and I think the risk or rather the reward is greater than the risk when you put yourself in these environments where you don't really know many people, but you put yourself out there to go build those connections, you know, one other quick story I'll share before we kind of pivot and I have a lot of questions for you on happiness, which is where we'll land the center view. One other thing I'll share on this topic is you know, you know that guy who films the what do you do for a living videos and he's just roaming around New York. But last weekend he was filming content in the West Village and I was just like walking and I saw this video and I was like oh my god he's the what you do for a living guy so I went up to him and I was like hey, like can I be in your video and he was he was like no this is meant to be like I bump into you and you're caught off guard and I was like well. You know like I actually have a really good story for what I do for a living so like I'd love to be in your video and then eventually he was like okay sure like I'll do it and we film the content and then he ended up posting it on his Instagram and I shared it to my story and I got so many people reaching out to me being like oh my god that's crazy and someone. Message me and was like how did this happen and I would be lying if I said I was walking on my phone and he saw me and was like hey what do you do for a living like that's not what happened. I went out of my way to approach him and to just ask for something that I wanted or just like to put myself out of my comfort zone so I made a video explaining that and that got even more engagement than the what do you do for a living thing and I think it comes back just this story what I gained from this is like okay it's uncomfortable to go up to a stranger and ask for. It's uncomfortable to go up to a stranger and shoot your shot or say hi but it's very admirable to just put yourself out there in life and now I'm like great you know it strengthens the resilience of like rejection if he really said no one was like nope I'm not going to do it okay that's the worst thing the best you can do is just ask and see what happens in life so I I really feel strongly about that like we need to just put ourselves out there more and that pushes the needle and it continues. It continues to help us grow and like welcome new opportunity in life so that's my little anecdote. I love that on the topic of happiness so earlier you said that we can choose happiness in life and when I met you you were like yeah I'm a happy person like I choose to show up this way every single day and I was like wow this is refreshing because not a lot of people are at least this outwardly optimistic so one of my questions for you is how do you define happiness. So are you the exclamation point or are you the period and so many times guys just want to not even put the period they'll lower case the sentence to the cool right you put the exclamation point I remember reaching out to this kid Adam for running man and his first DM back to me it's like what a big dog and I had never met this kid in my life and I was like I like this so like be the energy that you want to receive that because so many people are just so timid and this comes from a place of like conversing with guys or in this field of like you know big tough guy I'm going to go into the gym and do you you're going to be more compatible with somebody who is able to exert some type of energy and not just be like this this whole person same thing with girls they they they want to be able to have fun everybody wants to have fun like we're all on this rock exactly we're all in this rock together alright like I'd say even be a little like act a little tipsy at times not like not intentionally like just like that like a like a flow stay like you have to treat everybody really like they know you and your friends and you've known each other for years even though you've never met so this kid I'm like I love that energy and then I meet him in person like dude you're awesome like this definitely hang out I was like bro you're awesome so it's you're it's it's a dime a dozen right you're only going to get that from a few people that are that are able to share that type of happiness and joy because you know what we get to do this I've had so many meant medical incidents in my life where every single time I was like damn I wish I could go work out now but I can't I'm going to work out hard when I finally can or imagine like I'm running this field over and over and over and over and over and over and over again in Georgia and I'm passing people and I'm like remember we get to do this we have these legs we get to run we get to wake up we get to go to work so many times I'm in the office I'm in my nine to five and you know jody's on my left complaining about something and I'm like you know how much you wanted this job before you got it and now you have it and now you're talking to you about it think about those moments when you want something so bad and then you get it and then you start to make it seem in your own brain because your brain is seeing the things you're doing we do have eyes and so the brain is seeing and hearing that you're negative about it so everything else becomes negative and you know what they say if you're sitting around someone's who's negative you got to move because if not that negative is going to steep in little by little and then it's going to turn your life upside down when that was in that supposed to be your trajectory that was somebody else's trajectory so move on over to somebody who actually is happy about life and fulfilling things and doing goals and the happiest person is staying busy right they're constantly at the gym five thirty in the morning then they go shower or sauna or sauna shower then they go into the office then from the office they go home they have dinner they meet up with a few friends they call a few friends they still have time to socialize there's not like they're a hermit then they get to bed by 11 then do the same thing over and over again there's like a discipline there's a routine there's a structure that enables you to to find more joy in life and what I'm hearing is that happiness is really that byproduct of being in the state of gratitude It's easier to be happy when you recognize there's a lot to be grateful for in life. So instead of defaulting to the negative, choosing to see the positive. And I think that's a really, it's harder for some people to do than others, but if you can train your mind to start to bring that to the default way of thinking rather than oh, victim mentality or everything sucks or whatever, like you can still find the small glimmers. I love that Andrew. The last question that I'll land with you, something that I asked in person at Running Man. I don't know if you remember your answer, but everyone else who's listening has not seen that video yet. So they don't know what you said. So my question to you is, what is something that brings you a bit of endorphins every day? Exactly remember what I said. So you tell me if it's the same, but what brings me endorphins every day is being able to be myself and do the things that I want to do. You know that feeling when you get under your covers at night and it's nice and cold and you're just like, I don't like it when it's cold in my room. So, okay, so not you, but everybody else. So it's just like, I'm here by myself. It's a Friday night. I probably do it tonight. I'm like, I think about everybody at a bar drinking, probably talking to all loser against the wall somewhere trying to go home with them. And I'm like, I'm so content because tomorrow I get to get up and go run. It's what gives me endorphins is just, it's a few things actually. It's being able to see the goodness in life, looking up when I'm running, seeing the clouds, seeing the trees, having good people around me that really want to hear what I'm going through or want to hear my story, want to hang out, actively reach out, not just me the entire time. And then it's the obvious ones, the music. If it's in my ears, I am so happy to hear it. If I'm performing even more so if I can see someone smile or sing back at me. That's what the answer was. That's exactly what the answer was. If I can see someone smile or sing back at me. Of course you're not going to get into this very philosophical, more professional answer in a video in Georgia, but I love what you're sharing here around happiness and what makes you happy and what really fills up your cut. Life is short, you know, that cup should always just be overflowing. I love it. No, literally it's all about keeping that cup overflowing. There's a lot, I think that, you know, whoever's listening out there right now, there's a lot to be gained out of this conversation. And I'm so grateful, Andrew, that you came onto the show today and that we got to meet. I feel like positive vibes attract positive vibes. So I'm not even surprised that we are sitting here today for my listeners who are tuning in and want to connect with you. Where can they find you and listen to you and maybe meet you in person on, you know, some of your tours or your shows or any exciting things that are coming up. Yeah. Well, if you're in Miami, I'll always be glad to grab some coffee, meet up. If you want to watch my content, it's Andrew Minhadis on Instagram. If you want to listen to me, I'm on Spotify anywhere really. You listen to music. M-I-J-A-R-E-S is the last name. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you. Appreciate it.