EP #154: Why Your 20s Is The Period of Possibility with Lindsey Simick, Co-Host of the Almost30 Podcast

Welcome back to another episode of Every Day in Dorfins, a mental health podcast focused on the importance of finding joy and happiness in daily living. I'm your host, Stella Staphnopoulos, and this week I had the absolute privilege of getting to speak with Lindsay Semic, who as many of you may know is the co-host of almost 30, which is an amazing podcast dedicated to self-exploration, understanding how to navigate your 20s and just dealing with all the crazy ups and downs that happened during the decade. And not only is Lindsay a creative entrepreneur and co-host of almost 30, but she is now also an author. Her and Christa have debuted their novel called "Omals 30", a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. And I had such a fun time getting to sit down with Lindsay to talk about the book and everything that went into it and all the pieces of wisdom and advice that she has to share when she reflects on what she's learned in her 20s and how she's making the most of her 30s. So in this episode we get into a lot, but what we really focus on is how to cultivate inner trust, why it's important to learn how to trust yourself. We talk about some of the woo stuff like your Saturn return, what is that? How does it show up in people's lives? What can you expect during that tumultuous time period when you're between the ages of 27 and 29 where it feels like everything is falling upside down? We talk about relationships, how to know when a relationship is out of alignment, what it means to date with intentionality and some of the biggest challenges with navigating the dating scene in your 20s. And I think the beauty of this episode is that it all really does culminate and roll up to how her own philosophy on happiness has wildly shifted as she's gone through the trials and tribulations of navigating your 20s, which is a chaotic, increasing time. And it was personally very meaningful for me to get to do this interview as someone who is in their 20s, currently 25 years old, and literally living this experience that she and Christa have talked about for years on their podcast. And so not only do I feel kind of like a case study, but I'm also incredibly excited now to eventually enter my 30s in that decade. So whoever's listening, no matter what age you are, I hope that you either have compassion for your 20s when you were in them, or if you're in your 20s right now, are feeling a sense of excitement for what's to lie ahead and know that there's a bit of camaraderie here because you're you're not alone in this, like we're all kind of in it together. And then for those of you who are in your 30s, I hope that you feel like you have the tools to really thrive in this decade. And I really do believe that this conversation is something you can come back to as that anchor. I know I definitely will. And I'm just really excited for you all to listen because there's a lot of wisdom that Lindsey shares with us. And it's all a product as well of her book, which you all can order and have a copy of yourself where she gets to dive deeper into all these topics that we talk about in just, you know, within one hour. So for a deeper dive, definitely go check out the book. And I can't wait for you guys to hear this. So before we dive into this episode, reminder to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever listening platform you prefer. Let's get into it. Hi, Lindsey. Thank you so much for coming on to Everyday Endorphins. It is such a pleasure having you on the podcast. I'm so glad we can make this work. I'm so happy to be here. And I'm really excited to connect with your audience and you. Yeah. You know, it's kind of crazy for me because when I remember when I started my podcast almost five years ago at this point and just watching it grow and expand and transform over time, I started to look to other shows for inspiration and almost 30 is like on the vision board. You know, so it's crazy how full circle life is. And it's a little bit of a, I don't know, a serendipitous moment for me to be sitting across from you virtually today, which we'll talk about synchronicities and serendipity later because I think that's such an integral theme to your book, but I just want to let you know like how exciting it is for me to get to sit down with you. And it's just kind of crazy how energetically like people come into your life and how opportunities arise when you're actually not really forcing anything and you just let things flow. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And I really, I really received that. And I think it's just a great example, you know, of what happens when you are pursuing something that lights you up, something that really is coming from your heart rather than the over thinking mind. And you know, then I believe that the universe, God, your angels, your supports, the same, your soul team, your soul itself, like really conspires to make this a really beautiful adventure for you. And you know, this moment where we're sitting down with each other, I've had many of these in my life too, or I'm like, well, this is really trippy, you know, like almost the vision board moment of like, I'm going to put this on my vision board. And merely a few years later, things are coming to life, you know, really before my eyes. And it almost feels like magic. But what I really believe it is is you trusting and following your soul call. And then things really, really show up for you to support that vision along the way. Yeah, wouldn't it be amazing if it was only a few hours later? I know, LOL. In my mind, it's a few hours. I'm like, wasn't it? And they're like, no, it was last week. I'm like, okay, I sounds good. I think about like how much we could do if it was just a few hours later. Our visions that are manifestations came to life. But things really do take time. And that's actually a lesson that I have started to learn and crystallize in my brain and in my body, like truly the nature of time and being patient with letting things unfold as they will. And we can get to a lot of that later because I want to dive deeper into what it means to trust ourselves and cultivate that, you know, inner trust. But I would actually love to start with you sharing a little bit more about your journey to where you are now starting almost 30, writing this book. I know my listeners who are tuning in definitely know who you are and what your brand is. But for those who maybe are listening and who've never heard of almost 30 before, can you share a little bit more about your story and how you landed into the podcasting space and entrepreneurship? Yeah, absolutely. I'll start with some of the origins. So I grew up in Pennsylvania in a small town. I was the oldest of four kids. And I was what my siblings say when I wasn't bossing them around, I was, you know, wanting to find a camera and perform. I was a performer at a very young age, mostly for my parents on my fireplace little, you know, stoop. And I've just had that in me forever. And so my parents saw that talent and nurtured it and just gave me all the opportunities to be able to hone my skills as a singer, as a dancer, as an actor. Never putting pressure on me, but just, you know, kind of like following my own drive towards that. And so that brought me to a high school that was very well known for their theater, All Girls Mind You. And then to college, I studied theater in English at Boston College. And then of course, as you do when you want to become an actor, you learn how to become a bartender. And so I learned that. And then moved to New York City and was bartending at night at various different bars around the city until two or four in the morning and auditioning or trying to audition during day. And it was really exciting. And at the same time, I was burning myself out in more ways than one. Not only was I working late and not sleeping, I was drinking a lot, you know, I was kind of in that scene. I was chasing after the wrong guys. I was just not listening to my body and what it needed, what it really needed as far as nourishment. And so my intention to audition and become this famous actress was very real, but I wasn't really doing what I had to do to make that a reality. And if I'm honest with myself. And, you know, I just was always in this feeling of kind of survival mode. You know, I was like, how am I going to pay rent this month? Like, money was falling through my fingers. And when am I going to be chosen by a casting director? I was just waiting, desperately waiting to be chosen by someone. And to get that gig, that would just turn my life around, you know, and put me on a path of being a working actor. So, So in my pursuit, I knew bartending wouldn't support me anymore and so I started to take soul cycle classes. This is relevant, I promise. I started to take soul cycle classes because it was really like a relief for me. So if it's step into a room to ride to the beat of the music, close my eyes, move my body, get exercise, feel good, feel a part of a community. It was like something that I hadn't felt in a while. And so I would go every day, I got pretty good and the instructors that I became close to have started to put me up on the podium when they wouldn't want to ride. And they were like, you know what, you should audition. Like, why, why would I do that? Like I'm pursuing my acting career, I'm auditioning. I was also fit modeling at the time, which is a very like unsexy version of modeling. And I just gave all the excuses and they're like, no, just do it. What's the worst thing that could happen? I was like, okay, well, I can't argue with that. So I audition for soul cycle, which is a legit audition. I mean, it is like many stages of the audition. I did make it and I said yes. And I entered the training program and I became an instructor. A few months later, they asked me to move to LA. And I had always wanted to go to LA, always, always, always. I had gotten a call from one of my instructor mentors, if you will, who had a partner teaching me and she was like, hey, we could have this conversation or we don't have to have this conversation, but we would love for you to go to LA. We would love for you to open the new port beach studio and teach around LA as well. And I did not hesitate. Okay, I did not hesitate one bit or overthink. I just knew in my heart, this was a full body. Yes. And I said, yes, I didn't know how I was going to do it. I didn't know how I was going to move from New York to Los Angeles. Pick up my life, leave everyone I knew behind and start basically a new life. But I just knew what was right. And then two months later, I was in LA. And from there, I'm sure a lot of your listeners know the story, but a couple years in about a year and a half in, I got a call from Christa. And Christa was introduced to me by a mutual friend because she wanted to become a soul cycle instructor. So we bonded over that. I helped her through her auditions and though she didn't make it, we became fast friends. And we realized that we were going through this period in our life. It was for a lack of a better term, a shichou. It was everything was falling apart. You know, everything that we knew to be true was suddenly dissolving. And we were very frustrated. We thought we should know more. We thought we should be farther along. We just, a real low, you know, but we found comfort in our friendship and in our conversations are really honest conversations. And so one day she came to me and she's like, hey, you want to start a podcast? And I was like, what's the podcast? At the time podcasts, like weren't really a thing. It was like a few big podcasts like bump in, but I was not aware of what they were. But I was like, you know what? I love being creative. I love creating anything, you know, that really lights me up. So let's do it. I have a $15 recorder in my drawer. Let's just go into your closet or my closet and let's just start recording. So we did that. We did that for six months and then September 2016. We launched almost 30. And it's just been one of the wildest, I probably V wildest, right? I've ever been on. It has been just a master class in knowing myself and being in relationship with someone. Chris and I are in a very connected deep relationship, business relationship, personal relationship. So yeah, you're you're going to learn the most through your relationships, I believe. So it's just been such a beautiful, growth, heavy journey. And we've been able to impact people's lives in the process. Sorry for the long winded story, but that was it. I love it. I love it. I have so many follow on thoughts and comments and questions. The first observation that I'll make is how you've always had this desire to perform as a young kid. I was the same way. I'm an only child. And so my parents, I think they would eat it up whenever I'd want to perform in the apartment in front of them or they loved it. I was just naturally very expressive. And I grew up in New York City. I sang at the Metropolitan Opera and the Children's Chorus. So I had that kind of like classical training, if you will. And what's the funny thing is that I also wanted to be an actress, but my mom wanted to shield me from child acting and how that could turn pretty bad, pretty fast. So you know, being in the public eye in that way. So I never actually ended up pursuing that quote unquote dream of being an actress. But what I've noticed throughout different points in my life, that performing is such a core part of my personality and it is able to express itself differently and manifest itself differently throughout different phases of my life. And I find that to be a really fascinating truth to life. And when you live with authenticity, returning back to who you were as a kid and allowing that playful nature to be part of you and to honor that as you grow older. So I wanted to call out that observation because I think it's not even a question. I guess why we both are in the podcasting world and doing the things that we're doing because it's this like deep desire to creatively express oneself. Oh, yeah. Yes, I mean, I couldn't agree more. I'm like nodding my head off. I think there's two things. Your point about looking back to your childhood and observing, remembering, feeling into what that little girl loved to do. You know, whether it was like make believe or make her own little world in your mom and dad's garden, you know, and create a whole scene every single day where you would like lead your little fairy people. I don't know. Like that was something I did. Or, you know, like performing on the fireplace every night or I love to at one point, I love to collect bugs. Like I love to like really like care for them and like name them and they were part of our family. And, you know, I don't know what that says, but I think that's like part of like my nurturing side. Maybe it's my my motherhood moment. But it is such a beautiful way to gather insight when you've kind of lost the plot on what lights you up. I think a lot of people, if we were to ask them what really lights you up, they would have to take a moment. You know, I don't know if it's like at the forefront of most people's minds and hearts because a lot of people are just thrown onto a track, you know, they're like, hey, you're good at science, you should become a doctor, go to this school and then this school and then by this time you'll be a doctor and then be all set. And I don't blame people for doing that. And I think that's a wonderful thing. We obviously need that. But there is this aspect to following what really lights us up that I think we are not necessarily supported in doing from a young age, at least not all of us. So I think that's a really beautiful practice. I was able to connect to my inner child, I think most notably through therapy and EMDR. I'm able to also look at old home movies and really like tap into her very, very viscerally, which is fun. But yeah, I definitely recommend people do that or even ask your parents or family or friends like what were you like when you were little? Like what stands out about like what I was like every day. And then, you know, the second point of I think there is this aspect to pursuing a dream that you've had since you were little. That is really beautiful. And then there's this aspect to it that might not serve us forever. And what I mean by that is you might be pursuing an expired dream at some point in your life. For me, that was acting. I was just pushing so hard, wanting it so badly because I had gone to school for that and like one of that my whole life. And so is not what I should do and my parents are really, I felt like banking on this even though I know they weren't. But you know, it's that feeling, that pressure that I really deeply felt. And then when the podcast came along and we started to do this, I started to like scratch that itch, you know, that performance itch, that communicating with people in a really deep, beautiful way, connecting with people in a deep, beautiful way. And at one point I had to let it go, you know, I had a grieving period, but I was also incredibly liberated. So for anyone listening who might be pushing and pushing for something that they've dreamed of doing for their entire lives, I really respect you. And let's check in on whether this dream is expired or not and how do we do that? Is this dream mine or is this a dream that other people have for me that I just keep pursuing because I want to make them proud? And checking in, does this light me up still? Am I really lit up when I think about it and I think about what it takes to get there? Am I hungry? Am I lit up? Am I ready to take the next step and am I ready to get up when I am rejected or fall down? And if you have some nose in there, I just would love for you to reflect on, okay, so, you know, for example, acting might be an expired dream, but what aspects of acting and performing are within me? will always be within me and I can apply and really kind of play out in other ways. So whether that's I love making people laugh or I love, you know, studying the art of fill in the blank. So you can bring these to other arenas, if you will, and surprise yourself. You know, we're sitting down here podcasting and have made it a career. And I would have never thought that this would be on my path, you know, on my vision board. So yeah, you bring up a great, a great point. And yeah, I'm curious to hear like, are you feeling fulfilled? Are you still pursuing acting? Or I know that your mom kind of redirected you, which I really respect, because I think acting and childhood is can be a slippery slope. But how are you feeling about that? Yeah, well, before I answer your question, there's something that I wanted to share to that really, I think is so profound in what you said around evaluating if your dream is expired because something I've really struggled with is, or I guess I didn't even realize I struggled with it because it was just a mindset ingrained in my brain for so long. And the mindset was that thinking that if I felt a certain way in a moment, I was going to feel that way forever, not recognizing that like I am constantly evolving and constantly changing. And I started to do this practice called a word of the year. And my word of 2025 is permission. And so what was kind of ringing in my brain as you were talking about reflecting on whether or not your dream is expired and reevaluating like what actually lights you up? What do you actually want? I started to think about the ability to give myself permission to surprise myself. In the past year, I have started to realize that things do change rapidly. And it's okay to want something at one point in my life and three months down the line to not want it. And realizing that things naturally have been flow. And if I don't want something anymore, I should give myself the permission to be able to change my course of action. And that's been like a really, really big learning for me. And it's shown up in so many different ways. I think one of the most obvious ways, at least for people in their 20s is when you think about it in the context of your career and reevaluating is this job serving me is this role engaging to me. I guess I'm really tying my identity to my output and this label and this profession. Like why is it that I tie my identity so heavily to what I'm doing? And those questions actually kind of inform the answer to your question to me. Like what happened after I started to perform in the med and do I feel fulfilled with what I'm doing now? So it's interesting because I did I was in the metropolitan opera for eight years from six years old to 14. And the reason I stopped was because my voice changed and I was no longer a kid. You need to be small to fit into the costumes and to be on stage in the children's chorus. So the end of my freshman year of high school, I left the metropolitan opera. High school was focused on athletics and getting good grades. So I was on a rowing team and I was literally the heads down focused on getting good grades, all the extra curriculars to get into a good college. I went to Washy in St. Louis. I studied this integrative major in cognitive science and philosophy and psychology, minored in creative writing and strategic management in our business school and eventually landed in the world of consulting, which is what I do now full time. So acting never, it never really continued after the met, but it really wasn't until 2020 when I decided that I wanted to launch a podcast to interview and to story tell and to share the learnings that I was receiving through my studies, specifically in positive psychology. That's what really lit up this idea in my brain, like, oh, there's language behind the science of happiness. There's a language behind what it means to flourish in life. I didn't realize the whole field of research was positive psychology until my senior year of college. So it wasn't until then that I started to lean into, let me get a microphone and start this podcast and I had already had the everyday endorphins Instagram since my freshman year of high school, which started as a fitness blog because I was on the rowing team. So everything kind of came full circle. And now I will say that I do feel fulfilled. I think when I started the podcast and I decided to keep up with it post grad and balance it with my full time job, I was so hungry to like want to do more with my life. I felt like I was on to something with my perspective on what it means to lead a meaningful and joyful life. And I could kind of like see it within reach, but I just felt like I kept grasping and trying to get other people to buy into what I was saying. And every approach with every interview was who's the next best guess and what's the next best event. And I was so glued to the metrics that it was eating away from truly the joy of just sitting down to have the conversation. And I lost the sense of fulfillment because I kept feeling like no matter what I did, I was failing at wanting to be successful. And then I had this whole ego death. And I started therapy and it was this whole journey where I was like, wait, I'm chasing this expired dream, this idea of wanting to gain fame and recognition to feel like my voice was important. It's sad to think about, but I'm happy that I came to that awareness at like 24. And I changed the course of action. And I realized I don't need numbers or other people to validate the integrity of what I'm talking about. Like I can know that within myself and the minute that I started to behave from that place of self worth and like self confidence and knowing that what I was doing was contributing towards something, then things started to just naturally flow. And case in point, we're sitting down today. So that's a long-winded way of saying, yes, I do feel more fulfilled at this point in my life. Yeah, no, I'm glad you shared that because, again, it's an example of just the trap that I think most of us fall into when we are creating something. And that is the trap of, okay, I have to make this successful. I have to monetize this. I have to get the numbers. Like, you know, like there is just this fixation on that. And I think it's, it could be related to a few things. I think most notably just seeing everyone else, you know, create a business and have all the success seemingly on Instagram, right? And then also just this maybe part of the identity that says, if you are pouring time and energy into creating something, you must make it financially worth it or you must prove to others that it is successful. I think we picked that up from our parents, from school, from culture, from social media. Like, we're picking it up from many places, but it's a trap, you know, and I'm really glad you shared the story full circle and having that ego death because I was not able to catch flow in my life with anything that I've created until I committed to creating because I simply wanted to create it and it made me happy and it lit me up. And generally, when I would commit to doing that, things would flow. Like you said, you know, and I think with almost 30, Chris and I created this podcast, this community, because we needed it. You know, it was from a place of like genuine yearning for this, the resources, the community to lean on, the feeling of, wow, I'm not alone. And we had no idea, like you can tell by the name, we're, I'm 37 now, you know, the name does not carry. However, you know, we kept it because it's just become this literal and metaphorical feeling of like almost something in the stress and the anxiety and the resistance to change that comes up during these periods. But all that to say, you know, I just applaud you and it's a good reminder for me too. I'm just someone that will be creating for the rest of my life. And I don't want to be beholden to the machine. You know, I don't want to be beholden to create this in such a way that it makes you money. I just don't create like that. That's just not me. Some people do that very, very well and be thinking about that from the jump. But if I'm creating from that place, what I'm creating is not going to be something that I'm lit up by to be completely honest. Sometimes it will make me money because there's like various alignments there. But sometimes I just need to create to create absolutely. And it comes, I think, back to this idea of operating from a scarcity versus an abundance mindset. And I think when we act from a place of scarcity, energetically, we're putting out this like fear response or behavior. But when we act from a place of abundance, I think that that directly ties into a sense of inner calmness and knowing your worth and knowing what you have to bring to the table. And to be able to know that, you have to do the practices that help you cultivate that trust within yourself. And I know that's a huge topic in your book, which I want to pivot to and talk more about this book that is upcoming and soon to be launched in the next month, which is so exciting. But, you know, it's interesting because when I think about my life, I've always wanted to know everything. Like I've always wanted to just figure everything out. And what I love about the name almost 30 actually is that it kind of implies like, oh well, we're almost 30. We're almost 30. We're in this kind of crazy period. But, you know, once we hit 30, we'll have everything figured out once we're in our 30s, we're going to be adults. We're going to know everything. And some of my closest friends are 30. And I look at them and I'm like, wait, I just I feel the exact same way and I'm 25. So clearly we're not like reaching towards peak. And then we stay there. It's this constant growth and evolution, which I'm actually really excited to hit my 30s. I just think life is going to keep getting better. And I hope it does. And I think you would you would agree with that, but it does. But I'd love to hear more about strategies that you adopted in your life. A home moments that you had that signal to you. I need to create more trust within myself. And these are the steps that I'm going to take to gain that sense of inner trust. And 25, it's such a I'll bring you back to my 25 and I will say you are way farther way way wiser. I had to work on my trust with myself up until very honestly still work on it. Let's just call us bait to spade. I still work on it. And I think that's okay. You know, I think that for various reasons, there are places and moments in my life where it was just ruptured, you know, that trust in myself. And that happens for most of us. We're going to have situations with our family or, you know, in a romantic relationship or maybe a teacher said something that just made you like not trust yourself to know things like there are just these many and big moments that, you know, make big and small tears in that solid trust with yourself that I think a lot of us are born with, you know, when we're kids. Kids just like even though they don't know everything, there is a trust in what they're feeling that they can just express it. You know, there is a trust that they have, I think, built by the the secure attachment with their parents that can be so strong from a young age. And it's only in, you know, I think like as kids become more kids rather than toddlers and into 13 years that that really starts to get a little bit wobbly. So I'll bring you back to when I was 25 because I think this period of time was formative for me in starting to trust myself wholeheartedly and really kind of building a foundation that would be almost unchakable, you know, as far as trusting myself and my soul. So when I was 25, I was with the person that I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life and we were college sweethearts and, you know, I loved him deeply and I thought, yeah, he was my guy, we were going to get married. I told my Nana Christmas. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, we're going to get married. Don't worry. Like this is my person. No doubt. And then my what I call my soul, which is the part of us that is just the part of us that knows the part of us that is most wise, the part of us that is incredibly loyal to our human self and really guides us and wants us to have this beautiful adventure of growth and touching the divinity of life, you know, that which is the part of God or creator or source, whatever you believe. And so I started to hear a voice, get these feelings about my relationship, ones that made me cringe, ones that were like, I don't know if this is your person actually. And I was like, wait, no, he's my person. We decided this like this was my plan. What do you mean? And there wasn't anything like so glaring like he was a horrible person and all these things, he was, he was a great guy. But there were just aspects to our relationship and connection that weren't working. And I instead of having a mature adult conversation with him, decided to cheat on him and get what I was desiring and not getting the relationship elsewhere. And it blew up the relationship eventually he found out I was miserable. I was like living this double life and I had just betrayed the person that I love like who am I, you know, I was like, who are you? I just felt so terrible about myself after that. So in the wake of that breakup, I slipped into I would say it was like a depressed period where I just, I didn't trust myself. I'm like, how could you do that? You heard the person that you said you loved you wanted to be with. How could you? Yeah, just do things that were so not you and so not of your values. And I felt so far from myself, you know, and what I realized very slowly but surely was that this was my opportunity to slowly walk back to myself to connect with the part of me that does know. To really trust myself again. And this wasn't like a linear path. I definitely I zigged and zagged and made mistakes and chased after the wrong guys in this period. But what I didn't know was that I was now swimming in a very long single period. I was single for about seven years. I would date people on it like I would just kind of casually date people but nothing committed nothing serious. And about four almost five years in of just doing the most and doing it wrong. I realized that I think it would be who've made to spend time with myself, you know, like just really date myself instead of trying to fill the void that my previous relationship had left and really sued the part of me that thought I'm a terrible person and I ended it. And so I spent the next few years really truly single and I eventually created a program called the sacredness of being single based on this period because it changed my life. It changed the trajectory of my life to actually take time to be with me to know my own soul to love being in my own company. And I realized like what I really wanted in a relationship when I was ready to get back out there and I just understood then that and I understand now that the relationship you have with yourself sets a tone for every single relationship you have. And say that with confidence as someone who is in a wonderful marriage, I still have days where I'm like projecting onto my husband because of how I'm feeling about myself that day. So it's just such a valuable lesson and just a valuable reminder for all of us who are in relationship or desiring to be in relationship that the trust you build on yourself, the relationship you form with yourself and with your soul and we can talk about the soul if you want, but is the most important part of this life experience. I think in order to be in healthy life giving growth oriented relationships. I think that's probably the most important line or sentence that you've said this entire podcast is really about learning to know yourself and to enjoy your time with yourself. Anyone who's listening like I hope that is one of the key takeaways because it is so true how you treat yourself how you show up for yourself will set the tone for all your relationships and your life. And I also believe that when you better understand your triggers and learn to sit with the discomfort and notice what's coming up for you nine out of 10 times a situation that happens to you in a voc an emotional response that's a negative oftentimes that response is nothing to do with the situation. And so it's pulling on certain things that you internalized maybe years ago or recently like it's coming from something else and it has nothing to do with the situation or the person, but it has everything to do with something that's not healed within yourself that you need to extend more compassion to and this has happened to me and I've noticed it. And it actually it's scary to like recognize it, but once you actually accept it and understand that you don't have to take things so personally it's actually very liberating because then you can distance yourself from that emotion or from that experience and you realize it's not a reflection of who you are it's just an emotional experience that you're having that will eventually pass. I'd love to talk more about the soul also because I think it is so integral to learning how to get comfortable with enjoying your own company. Yeah, I'm for anyone out there who's like, oh gosh, do I have to like switch the podcast now we're talking about soul I hear you and it's like something you know sometimes like the woo who can kind of take us out of it or bring us deeper and so. stay for a few minutes because I think there's an opportunity to go deeper because the soul, my relationship with my soul has completely changed the way that I navigate my life. So I first learned about the soul in a real way when I read, I talked to actually, it was our conversation first, Lisa Rameo, and she has an incredible book about the soul, and she taught me how to soul journal. And soul journaling is a way that you can have a conversation with your soul. I talk about this in the book, but I'll give you a very high level overview of what that might look like. I love to start with meditation, just kind of bring myself into my body and just notice the thoughts and just allow them to pass and just kind of be with the breath. And then I'll start a conversation with my soul. I'll greet her. I'll be like, hi, I know it's been a minute, I feel like it's been weeks, but you know, I'm in a place where I have, I have just some unclear aspects of my life right now that I would love to get clarity on, and I would love to see what you think and what your guidance would be. And so, from there, I'll have a piece of paper, pen and paper, I'll open my eyes and I'll begin to write to her, asking her questions. And right after I ask a question, I will put pen to paper and just allow her to write. And I know it sounds crazy, but you would be surprised what happens when you relax and get out of the way she will come through. And if you're just writing kind of nonsense for a little bit, that's okay. Just keep writing, just keep writing. I think the more that you do this practice, the more she will come through without resistance because your mind is not resisting it. I also love just a small detail, but it helps me. I love to put on binaral beats or like meditative music that just helps me to just drop in a little bit more. But this practice has given me some of the craziest insight and wisdom and guidance of my life. And I'm like, wait, that came from me. I'll look at the people, I'll be like, wait, what? That is so crazy. And this practice has also fortified what we talked about earlier. Is that trust in myself? Because I'm like, wait, my soul is within me. And she knows and we can connect and collaborate on this life. Oh yeah, like I can trust myself. I can trust myself in these moments, especially if I'm consulting her. So you know, if you are out there and you are especially in your late 20s, go and get your satire return, which we can talk about. But you might begin to feel those calls of your soul. For example, maybe you do the same thing every weekend, you hang out with your group of friends that you know, you go to the bar, you have a few drinks and then you go out here and come home, wake up the next morning, feeling a little hungover, call your friends, oh my God, last night, right? Like fun bin there. But maybe you're starting to feel like, I don't think this is what I want to be doing anymore. Or this is so weird because I love my friends. So why am I being called to do something else or not do this? These little calls of the soul really help us to get into alignment and alignment with your soul, not with anyone else, not with what society wants or what your friends are doing or what your parents expect of you. But with what you are unique soul desires. And it's been the coolest relationship ever, you know? And especially now as a mother, I have like a next level relationship with my soul because it's connected with my child's soul. And so we communicate in that way a lot. I'm asking my soul, let's connect with Maverick's soul right now because I kind of want to know more deeply what he might need in this moment. So all that to say, it is a profound practice. One that you might have resistance to at first. But I promise you, if you stay with it and you let go of what it looks like or might sound like or whatever, you will change your life. You will change your life. I think that's so beautiful. And for those who maybe aren't as boo-boo, I mean, it's not even a boo-boo thing because it's it's really just letting yourself get off of autopilot and in the overthinking monkey mind brain and allowing yourself to be at ease and let whatever come up come up and just write about it. I mean, there's research around what happens when you take the thoughts out of your brain and actually translate what's up in your head into paper, like the act of writing and bringing an idea from your head to something that is like you can touch and is tangible. It is very cathartic and you will you will be surprised what comes out. And maybe in your words, it's like the soul is expressing itself. And the thing that I think we all need to get comfortable with, especially in your 20s is knowing that when you reconnect to your authenticity, to your soul, to what's an alignment for you, you are naturally going to disappoint people along the way. And it's really hard for people who have these tendencies to please others like myself. Like it's really hard to let other people down when you're putting yourself first in this way. But it's it's so important because life is too short to live on autopilot. The irony is like you were mentioning you're you're kind of in this rinse and repeat every weekend. You're doing the same thing. You're with the same group of friends. You're going out. You're drinking, especially in New York. Everything is revolved around eating and drinking. And then you're hungover. It's just this very cyclical routine. And one day you wake up and you're like, wait, I don't this doesn't sit well anymore. And to even realize that is shocking because you've been in that habit and cycle for so long. So naturally you would think to yourself, well, I like this. These are my hobbies. What happens one day when you wake up and you're like, Oh, I don't. It's shocking. Again, to our point earlier around giving yourself permission to change your mind, it can be very unsettling to realize that what you once loved, you don't love as much anymore or your priority shift. And I was actually talking to someone recently who just he just turned 30 and he said to me, you know, between 27 and 30 years old, I realized how much my priorities were shifting. And I don't know much about the Saturn return. So I'd love to talk about it. But I do know that that's the exact age period where you have your Saturn return. And so I said, well, I think you're talking about your Saturn return, which I don't know much about. But it sounds like that's what you're talking about. And so I think this is a great segue into hearing more about what is the Saturn return. And you know, more specifically, how does this period show up in people's lives? Like what's happening during that time of your life? I'm sure. Did he look at you cross-eyed when you said that or like he was, he's like Saturn, what? I think green flag that he wasn't like turned off by that. Green flag, baby. Okay, so this is what our our book centers around. Is this period in your late 20s where you feel like what the F is going on? It feels like everything is falling apart. It feels like you are no longer the person you once were. And priorities are shifting. Like you said, relationships are shifting. But I think to the naked eye and in your own experience, it can feel like, oh my gosh, like I don't have a handle on my life. But what's really happening, I'll speak to the astrological perspective first and then the neurological. So every 29 and a half years, the planet Saturn returns to the place it was in the sky when you were born. And the planet Saturn, think of it like the father. You know, he comes in a little tough love, but absolutely loving and wanting you to look at the areas of your life that might be unaligned. The areas of your life that are kind of falling apart, you know, that are kind of shifting and wanting you to look at it honestly and from your heart rather than the overthinking mind. And really ask yourself, who am I and what do I really want? You know, that might be something people consider for the first time in their lives at that point in their lives because they've always considered other people or their parents or their friends. And so it can be a very lonely time. It can be a very chaotic time, but it is for your greatest and highest good. So if you know a 25-stellar going into your later 20s, that if it gets a little funky, that this is for your greatest and highest good and that it is purposeful and you will come out the other side in a better relationship with yourself and your soul and your life at large. Wouldn't you like lean in a little bit more? And I think that is one of the intentions of our book is to say, you can lean in. You know, this is for you. This is not happening to you or against you. This is happening for you. And we give you the tools and insight to help you navigate it. But Saturn is a planet that brings you specific themes and you can look up your specific I would say go on to time passages. It's an app that's easily accessible and check out your planets click on Saturn and it'll give you a breakdown of what you're navigating through the planet Saturn various themes and it'll be very helpful just as a start. And then obviously we have we have resources if you need but it will reoccur throughout your life. So every 29 and a half years this is going to come background. So again in your late 50s and in your 90s if we make it that far, which I I believe we will as we get healthier and all that. But the first one is the most intense so just know that that it will get later over time. But I believe that it's not a time to figure it all out and to have you know the answers to all of your questions by the end of this is a time to get into right relationship with change because spoiler alert. We are going to be navigating change for the rest of our lives. But how do we move through it? How do we grow through it? How do we see God through it? You know it's such a gift to be able to move through this period consciously. And our hope is that by reading this book you're able to kind of wake up in a way to the aspects of this transit and this period that are really really a gift. And then I just want to speak briefly to the neurological aspect of this time. 2526 your prefrontal cortex comes online finally. This is the finally this is the area of the brain responsible for decision making for long term planning for emotional regulation. Because up until this point our emotional brain not limbic part of our brain has been developing. I'm sure you know all of this probably better than I do. And this part of your brain is responsible for kind of those emotional impulses we see it in toddlers we see it in teenagers we see it in very young adults right. So when these two sync up this is when we start to become more conscious you know what we're bringing to a moment influences the experience of the moment. We are able to better emotionally regulate like there's just so many things that come online right at this time that sync up last part of the neurological experience is that the myelation. You know around just the neural pathways of the brain become really really strong so this is actually a prime prime time to create neural pathways that benefit you. So if you have low self worth this is going to be a time that we really work on that whether it's in therapy or the like. And it's a prime time to be able to just like solidify that aspect of your belief in yourself. So all that to say astrologically and neurologically this time is a lot but it is all working for you. And if you know what's happening. I believe you are going to have an incredible satan return like I just think the experience will be that of growth and excitement and adventure and on the other side you will be in an even deeper relationship with yourself such a great explanation of what's going on astrologically and neurologically. You know I need to brush up on my memory of neuroscience because it's been a few years since I've studied it but it's interesting because we're doing this interview now and I'm 25 and I think we need to do it again in the middle of my satan return and then again at the end of it because we can look at like the three different stages and I actually feel like my prefrontal cortex is finally turning off like I can feel it I can genuinely feel it and I can see it in the way that I approach decisions and feeling more comfortable vocalizing what I want like first of all recognizing what it is I even want and then having the courage to vocalize it to other people. It's hard to do that and to your point around really understanding that everything happening in life is in service of you not against you is one of the biggest and most critical minds at shifts. I think you can make to create more joy in your life because you shift away from the victim mentality and you start to welcome an embrace challenges that are inevitable and bringing it back also to the ethos of everyday endorphins it's not about being happy all the time that's just not realistic in life. I really do believe that a life that is fulfilling and meaningful is about how quickly can you come back to yourself because hard moments are going to strike it's inevitable that is life but how fast can you bounce back how fast can you return to who you are to your soul exactly what you were sharing before. Now rather than fearing challenge I actually get excited by it because I know there's something on the other end and I saw this amazing clip from an interview with Arthur Brooks and he talked about how he has his students keep a journal of their failures and on the first line they write down the failure and then they have a he has a second line that they write like two weeks later to write I think like what they learned from the failure and then the third line is like returning to the journal three months later and to reflect on how they've grown from it I forget what the two prompts are but the idea is writing down the failure reflecting on it but then actually seeing what the lesson was and how it's helped you grow. So you're rewiring your brain to your point you're training those neural pathways to get excited by something that's a little difficult rather than shut down and operate from a place of fear and I think that's really important especially in this critical period of time and you're mid to late 20s as you're approaching 30 to get really comfortable with things being very uncertain it's been a theme in my life recently so very timely that we're talking about this. Totally your your prefrontal cortex is online sister you're very very wise very present very conscious which yeah I'm excited to talk to you when you're moving through it because some were some people this might be your case might not be but for some people the satin return isn't you know as chaotic as others and that's because you know whether it's like they don't have any or they don't have as many misalignments or they're just very conscious of kind of the energetics of this life rather than what they're seeing with their eyes they're very in tune with more of the felt sense and trusting that you know what is happening to them is actually happening for them so yeah all that to say I'm excited to connect with you when you're going through it. I know it'll be what a ride as we start to kind of wrap and close Lindsay it's been an absolute pleasure having you on the show some of the final questions that I ask my guests are really centered around joy and happiness so I'll land here the first question that I have for you is how do you define happiness and has that definition shifted over the course of your life for sure it is shifted I think you spoke to it a little bit earlier where we believe happiness needs to be the goal and like the constant in order to live a good life and I think happiness for me is the felt sense of peace and alignment in very small moments becoming a mom a year and a half ago completely changed my life as it does and forced me in a lot of ways to slow down and to live in the mundane in a way that I hadn't before and what I mean by that is you know the early part of postpartum is very much groundhogs day you know you're basically doing the same thing every day you know maybe a different format but you're feeding your child they're sleeping you're tired you're kind of napping then you get a you know it's like very groundhoggy day yet I was able to find and access this sense of happiness that I haven't before just this sense of peace and arrival in a moment and not yearning for something else so I think my definition would be happiness for me is presence and peace and a moment and not yearning for the next I love that because when we do yearn for the next we're signaling to ourselves that we're not content with where we're at right now it's like the hedonic treadmill that's a beautiful definition and the last question that I have for you is what is something that brings you a bit of endorphins every day what's something that lights you up it changes every day because you know we never know what's what's happening with the toddler but I think for me I find so much joy in playing with my son like really playing like being in his world like all in you know not trying to do adult things while I'm playing with my son I'm playing with my son like being in the wild and playing with him it's like getting on the floor you know making the truck noises wrestling with him like just all the things brings me so much joy so many endorphins and you know if I'm doing something for myself that brings me endorphins I'm getting away is whether that's putting on a song that I love and dancing which I'll do when I'm like getting ready sometimes if I have like interviews in a day and I'm getting ready I'm like okay we got a good into the right state you know so putting on my favorite song and dancing or just working out you know whatever workout is calling to me I don't find as much time as I used to to do it to do those things for myself understandably, but when I do, it just, it gives me what it's always given me, which is just that hit, that rush of like, "Ah, okay, it feels good to feel good, feels good to be in my body." Well, there's a reason that you're a soul cycle instructor and the same reason that I teach yoga. There's so much joy in movement and movement and connection. I think are really fundamental pillars to feeling those endorphins and to really feeling happy in life and it makes everything worth it. So I loved your responses. I absolutely loved this conversation and getting to interview you and learn from your story and very excited for your book to come out. I love the title, "A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love" for the next decade and beyond. It's exactly what we're talking about and beyond. It doesn't just stop once you hit 30. It just keeps elevating and getting better. And to that point, Lindsay, where can my listeners connect with you, find your book, tune into the podcast, all the things, how can they stay connected? Stella, it's been a pleasure, girl. I love chatting with you. You're so talented. Just, I want that to land. Like, you truly are meant to do this. Thank you for having me. People can connect with me on Instagram. I'm in my DMs, so I would love to hear from you if you listen to this episode or if you're moving through your sat and return. Our book is out, like you said, June 3rd. It's called "Almost 30 Definitive Guide to a Life You Love in the Next Akin A and Beyond." The longest subtitle, but truly meaningful. And we really believe in this book. We are so proud. And we cannot wait for people to have it on their bedside table to be like a back pocket guide as you navigate change, really any change. And then the podcast you can list to anywhere podcasts are and podcasts is almost 30 hosted by me and my best friend, Christopher Williams. Amazing. Thank you so much, Lindsay. It's been an absolute pleasure. You're the best. Thank you so much for having me. [MUSIC PLAYING] Thanks for tuning into this episode of "Everyday in Door Funds." If you liked what you heard and you want to continue to follow along, make sure to like, rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast on whichever listening platform you prefer. You can also follow along on Instagram, on TikTok, and subscribe to my substack, where I not only talk about episode recaps or events that have happened that month, but I get to dive a little bit deeper into my own perspective and philosophy on joy, and happiness, and living a good life. Thanks again for tuning in and reminder to keep spreading in door fins and finding the things in life that bring you joy. Until next time. (upbeat music)