EP#13- Surviving a COVID Semester & Other 2020 Reflections with Taryn Gurbach

(gentle music) And also I changed a ton from quarantine. I mean, I'm like into baking now. - That was my friend, Taran Gerbach, who I had come onto the podcast this week. Taran is a sophomore at WashU, and she's also on the volleyball team, and also has her own podcast called the Garen Turbach podcast, which you can listen to on Spotify. Taran and I talked about really just a reflection on how this semester went, and how Taran made the most of a really weird and chaotic time. We talked about different routines and habits, and ways that Taran has just tried to stay positive and make the most of this really strange semester. And we also chatted about some goals for the upcoming spring semester and moving into 2021. So without further ado, here we have a senior myself and a sophomore, Taran, talking about college life in COVID. (gentle music) - Hi, Taran. Thanks so much for coming on to everyday endorphins. Happy winter break. Thanks, Stella. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited. I think it's really nice that we're recording today, as winter break has just kicked off. We can do a little reflection on how this semester has been honestly crazy, but I know that you're a sophomore this year. So I'm really curious to hear how this fall has been for you given that your freshman spring was cut pretty short. - Yeah, I mean, my freshman spring was so fun. The first three weeks I had or whatever, I joined a sorority. I was, I don't know, just having a good time. I wasn't playing a ton of volleyball. And then obviously COVID happened. And then my sport was canceled in my fall season. That gave me an opportunity to just kind of be a normal student for a little bit. I mean, you played, you rode cruise. You kind of know what it's like to be a student athlete, what it's like to be a not a student athlete. So it was a really weird time, but I think it was really good for me, honestly. I think when you live such a busy life, and you just see your playing sports all the time, and you're practicing at 6.30 a.m., and you're traveling on weekends, that's just like a crazy life to live. So I've two more years to play my sport. I'm so excited to have a season, but it was really nice for me to just kind of slow down. And also I changed a ton from quarantine. I mean, I'm like into baking now, and I never was into baking. - Oh my god, totally. I feel like so many people whipped coffee, baking bread, any sort of dessert also. I mean, TikTok, obviously. Lots of new hobbies picked up during quarantine. I brought my sourdough starter to St. Louis. I drove it, and I put it in like a little cooler, so that it wouldn't overheat and die. So I mean, yeah, I cooked a ton, I baked a ton, I sold cakes, I worked at a restaurant, and I'm someone that like, I'm really good when I'm busy, and so I needed to like continue to be busy. That's why I got a job. That's why I continued to bake, but it was a good busy, 'cause it was something that was like super creative. And that's something that I haven't had time before. So it was also a good time to just like spend time with the people that you're closest to and like really develop great relationships. So I had a great time. I also like, I live in your forest park, so I would go on a ton of walks. - Oh, that's so nice. - Like I feel like my freshman year, I didn't fully grasp fall. I've never been a fall person, 'cause in California, it's very much like just, there are no seasons. (laughs) - No, no seasons. So it was a weird semester, but I think it was really good for me. How was senior year? I feel like that's an interesting one. - Yeah, no, I will definitely touch on my senior fall because very, very different from what I was expecting, but I wanted to get back to that point about being busy, but also having the time to be more creatively busy. So working a job, working at Olya, which loved that restaurant. That was so funny. I was out to dinner one night, and you were the hostess that night, and I was like, oh my God, I like what's up. - I love working there, so fun. - It's such a delicious restaurant, but I love that point that you brought up about having time to really be more creative and keep yourself busy with different creative projects. I know you also have a podcast. What were other things that you were able to do? You mentioned that you went on a lot of walks and forest park, which I also did during my senior fall, which is really nice. And you were working, you have this podcast, what were some other things you were able to do that helped make the semester feel not as horrible as it could have gone? - Something my friends and I were like, Jenna, Jenna, we would kind of go on like little adventures, not like big adventures, but you know, go to a restaurant outdoors, try a new, like my freshman year, freshman fall, the thing that made me feel the most at home, like when I was feeling homesick would be going to a new coffee shop and like spending expensive money, or spending money on expensive coffee, but that's something that I've always liked to do and like exploring St. Louis. So we got to know St. Louis better than I think I would have and I love St. Louis and I'm so glad that I've been able to take this time to get to know other areas, just besides like the loop. I did a ton of baths with EpsomSoul. I was so lucky to have a bath. What else? I mean, it was really just like knowing that I was gonna be okay if I took some breaks and like for me, I've always been super studious and work super hard, but I've also been really good at knowing like one to stop and like when I'm good and I'm like I'm okay. So and that's kind of like I did that, but even a little bit more of this semester, I was like okay, I'm tired, like let's go to sleep. - Yeah, no, that's huge. I mean, I would the minute the sun went down, I'd call today, like not doing any more work, except I think that was also because I happened to have a pretty light course load this semester, which I did not plan for. And in normal times, or I guess pre-COVID times, I would have loved that for my senior fall because all the extra time that we all had would have been devoted to spending time with friends and going out and doing fun things and exploring St. Louis and whatever, but I had to be at home. I also did try to like maximize the time that I had or just make it as best of a situation as possible, but obviously in a different world, having more free time at your senior fall or even like your sophomore fall, like would just be so nice to spend with friends and do fun things. - Yeah, no, I had a great time. - Well, I know you also are on the volleyball team and I don't think you were able to practice during the fall or at least I know like the swim season was kind of wacky 'cause of COVID, but what happened during the fall for you? - So we practiced a little bit. We lifted in small groups and in masks and then we practiced in small groups and in masks. And then we stopped right before COVID got really bad and they shut down all the sports. I think it was just because that was the end of our season. I don't know. It was good and hard. I mean, I feel so bad for the seniors. I look up to the seniors so much and I wish that they could have had their senior year. For me personally, I think it was a good time to step back. I think the team, I mean coming in as a freshman, it's hard just like being honest. There's a new technique. There's a new log of land. You were a senior in high school. You were like big man on the tone and pull and now you're a freshman. And my first semester was great. I'm a freshman year, but it was definitely like a stressful, anxious time and I was all up in my head a lot. And I was a little bit nervous pre COVID or like quarantine but thinking we would still have a season coming in just being like, oh my gosh, there's gonna be pressure and it's gonna be this environment that I'm, you know, had a kind of crazy experience with. So for me, it was kind of a nice time to like step back just like realize why I play this sport because I haven't really thought about that in while. Like why do I play this? And I think it was good for my team because something that I'm really trying to like exude is just like positivity and good vibes and working hard but having fun. And I think it's a good time for us to like really reevaluate why we play and like what our goal is. So obviously like it's such a bummer. But I think it's an opportunity for growth and success and kind of like a mindset change. So I'm really excited for next season and next spring. I think we're gonna practice a little bit more. I love the freshman. I love my team. So just like exciting things and we're just moving forward. - I love how you were able to reframe that as instead of a setback more so having this time be really an opportunity to have that mindset shift and really reevaluate why you actually like playing volleyball in the first place. What was that reason? Like what did you come to realize when you were reflected? and your schedule got completely thrown upside over your head and you were just like, okay, now I have to reevaluate why I actually like playing the sport. - Yeah, it was honestly, it was hard for me sometimes to say that I loved the sport. Like looking back on a club volleyball was so fun. I mean, I complained about it constantly, but I've such great memories. So you kind of like, you know, realize what you loved about it until it's gone. So for me, I just wanna remember like, I love that feeling when I'm playing and like everything is working. It's a little chaotic, but like it's fun and my friends are watching and I love when people come to watch me. I'm very much a performer at heart. I couldn't be on Broadway, so I chose volleyball. And I just like, I wanted to have fun. Like there are moments in sports where you're just like, this is awesome and you're just in that state of flow. Have you read that book flow? - I have not, but I actually do have an episode about flow research and its connection to mindfulness. So a big flow advocate. - So I read that in AP English in high school and totally connected it to volleyball. 'Cause when you're in that state of flow, like everything's working and you're just like, nothing can stop you. So it's hard to be in that state of flow in other aspects of your life, but it's so fun when it's in a sport and you're just like on top of the world. So I just wanna get back to having fun, but working really hard. That's something that is kind of like my goal. It's like we can work really hard and be super competitive, but like have fun doing it and be a little cocky and like compete with each other. And just like work as a team, like we all have this goal. Let's just have fun with each other. Because like we spend so much time with each other. Like I love my team. I just wanna have the best next few seasons as possible. - Yeah, I think there's also a huge connection between having fun and being in a flow like state. There's actually this science journalist, her name is Catherine Price and she wrote this book about how to break up with your phone and it's all about mindfulness and technology but she's also developing a program about what it means to have fun and she, her whole thing is about like having in order to have fun, you need to be in a flow like state. So they're very like intertwined and combined and as adults or young adults, like you can still have fun and have playful fun but in order to do that, you need to really tap into flow and there's a huge connection between a taming flow and playing a sport. And I felt the same way with crew. It's a very rhythmic sport. You're in a boat with usually seven or eight other people and you have to move at the same time and the same motion. So the boat will go forward and there's just like you said, like there's something so special about being kind of in like a chaotic environment, like so much is happening around you but you're so incredibly focused but also like in a very meditative state. And I think that's what flow is. Like you're so attuned to the exact act that you're doing and it's a challenging act also. Like playing volleyball, competing isn't easy. So when you're challenged and you're kind of pushed to that state where you're finally reaching optimal peak performance, it's so satisfying. - So satisfying. - Yeah. And I think also, you know, now that you're not really playing volleyball at the moment or you have to take a break because of COVID with your team, have you found other ways to try to tap into a more flow like state? - I mean, when I'm baking, I'm pretty flow like I would say. I mean, again, it's kind of like that chaotic energy but then it just kind of like becomes that flow and you kind of lose your track of time. Like on Thanksgiving, I baked like 15 cakes, I think. And it's teen, yeah. And it like took a lot of hours, but it like went really fast and it was just kind of like everything was kind of moving as it should. And I wouldn't say it's like the same feeling as playing volleyball, but I mean, it was like, it was nice to feel that a little bit. I also think studying sometimes when you're in that state of flow and you're like just grinding it out, like that is so satisfying, doesn't always happen to me. But yeah. - Well, I agree with you. And that's actually something that I felt was really challenging this semester. Finding flow when you're really in the grind, studying, I mean, usually I'll be at the library doing all my work, doing all my studying. Obviously this semester we couldn't really be able to have the opportunity to do that. And I think that on top of my, not as intense courseload, made it really hard to be motivated and get excited about doing work because the most exciting part is when you're in that atmosphere where you're in the library or you're in your specific study spot on campus and you're so focused and you're really like putting out thoughtful good work that you're proud of. And that's just something that we completely weren't able to do this semester. I mean, it was hard for me to write papers in my bedroom or in my living room. And as much as I tried to get on campus, everyone had to be masked. We were in cubbies. It was not the same sense of excitement in the atmosphere. It felt very sterile. And it was really hard, at least for me. Did you ever make your way on campus or try to get work done outside of your apartment? Yeah, I was really lucky this semester. I had four classes in person, which I have none next semester. So I'm pretty upset about that. But I was on campus almost every day. And that was so good for me. I mean, just to be able to see people and see some of my friends. And just to be in class, I think Zoom School is so much harder to be engaged. I was also lucky. I had some really interesting classes this semester. I had one called Tourism and Sustainability, which is right up my alley. And that-- usually when I'm in school, sometimes I'm just like, OK, just get it over with. Let's just do the work and then forget about it. Luckily, this class was super interesting. And so I loved going to class. And I actually liked doing the readings. And the discussions were really fulfilling. I was also lucky because that class, and then one of my other classes, are projects, were creative projects. So I baked two cakes for my AIDS class. And I did a podcast for my Tourism class. And so I didn't write any essays. So that's going to be tough next time after, right? It was good for me just to get those creative juices flowing, but in a school sense, which was really nice and different from my accounting class, which was a tough one. So remind me what you're studying again. So I am econ and strategy and entrepreneurship. Probably. I haven't really-- I think I'm supposed to decide now. Probably in the spring. I think that's when you have to declare formally. Thank you. Entrepreneurship and business of the arts are the same thing. But one has one less class. And I don't know which one sounds better. So I'll take feedback. Will you do have some time to decide? Yeah, but yeah, I'm a business girl. That's how I've seen you at Bauer. That's one of the business school buildings on Washoe's campus. I don't like studying there. People still study there a lot. And you were saying sterile. Like I loved going to the East End, where I just like I need natural light as much as I can. And Bauer does have natural light, but I just like love to be outside as much as I can. That's another thing for those who aren't familiar with the cool or fun or relaxing study spots at Washoe. In pre-COVID times, Bauer was usually so jam-packed with people. There's these huge tables. Tons of people can sit at. And usually it's so much fun. I mean, I made my way to Bauer a few times the semester, just because I have good memories studying there. And I wanted to just get back. But I think this is a great segue into talking more about healthy habits at college. And especially how your habits maybe have changed or if you've adopted new ones in this new COVID era we've been living in. I mean, in terms of food, I am so glad that I have a kitchen. I mean, my first semester, I would have had fun being soft more in the dorms, living in normal life would have been great. But especially because of COVID and how much cooking I did and how much cooking means to me, I needed a kitchen. So I was so lucky for that. I didn't cook as many fun meals as I probably expected. Sometimes you just get lazy and eat your sweet potatoes off the pan. That was sometimes what I did. Yeah, it was just a lot of listening to podcasts, walking, going to bed early, also sleeping in a little bit. Well, sleeping in for me. 9 AM. 8.30, I would do 8.30. Oh, wow. Yeah, I would do my workout. I would drink my coffee. I love becoming into routines. I think that is something that I picked up on. I forget how did you create a routine? How did you create structure in such an unstructured time? Theoretically, I guess you would class as on campus. But for Zoom school in general, you can roll out of bed two minutes before your class begins. And as nice as that might sound, my hunch is that that can be pretty dangerous pretty fast. I mean, I am a morning person and not a night owl. I am not, well, sometimes I'm successful at working hard at night, but for the most part, no. So I like to wake up early. I like to just get started with my damn the most productive. So I would wake up. I would watch some TV in bed for like 30 minutes. That was like such a luxury for me because that's something I associate with like the weekends or something like that. But I woke up a little early for that and then I would do my workout. Then I would usually walk to school. I loved my walk to school. It was like the perfect amount of time or I would in and I would shower and go into Zoom school. I mean, my routine was like loose, but the mornings are like my favorite part of the day, probably, or golden hour. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm a huge morning person also. I think for me, it's being up at an hour before most of the people around me are awake and having more time just for myself. I guess you're also used to it because I'm sure you practice pretty early. Yeah. I mean, there's a difference between like, I don't think anyone's a morning person at 530, but yeah, I mean, that's why I've always like valued getting up early, just like getting things done and then going to sleep early. That's my thing. Yeah, definitely. And I know because of COVID, your season was kind of screwed up or just things were just not as they normally are. So I'm curious. Yeah, I know you mentioned that you also had a kitchen this past semester at school. How did your maybe health habits change when you were in season versus when COVID was disrupted? Did you practice schedule and everything? Did it feel kind of uncomfortable to now not have that structured practice schedule and like exercise regimen? I know that you also were like working out too on your own, but something for me like when I did crew in high school all four years and then I came to college, it was definitely a big transition from being an athlete for four years to not exercising in that sort of way. And it was also hard to like figure out a different diet that worked for me and different types of exercises that worked. So I'm just curious to hear more about what that shift was like for you. Yeah, I definitely felt that a little bit. I know that's something that people talk about a lot. I mean, I was given like packets and workouts to do. I definitely like I over quarantined. I was very kind to myself and I didn't really push myself until towards the end to like start working out pretty hard. I would work out and I would do my workouts. If anyone's listening, I did my workouts. But I would still, you know, I was baking bread and baking cakes and I, you know, I was just doing what I wanted to do. This fall, I definitely missed like the super intense, not missed it, but I definitely felt like that was missing, like me being super out of breath from running sprints and stuff like that was something that like, you know, I definitely felt like it wasn't there. I was also making a ton of cakes and so there was one moment where I was recipe testing and I was like eating my cake and I had lift the next morning and I was like, am I going to throw up? Like I feel so sick. So I kind of was like, I need to not be eating cakes so much. And that was just like a choice I had to make and I did not miss the cake because my stomach was really hurting for a little bit. It was too much dairy. In terms of diet, I mean, we don't eat fried food during season and last freshman year, I gave up bread. We have to do like individual sacrifices. Oh wow. Turns out I could have just like picked up clothes off my floor, but my friend and I gave up bread. It was so hard. So I'll never do that again. But I mean, I feel like if you're in season, you just, you feel it more like you're, we're waking up every morning and you're like, wow, maybe I shouldn't have, you know, eaten that the night before, but I've never believed in dieting. I'd like just kind of eat what I want. And I'm also like, I don't know, I love vegetables, but I also love not vegetables. So yeah, nothing really changed. It was just, I mean, I did eat a lot of cake. It's all about balance at the end of the day. It's the balance, striking that balance. But yeah, my diet, my diet really just became more involved in cake. Well, it was something that I was able to give you some flow, baking and picking up a new fun hobby and activity. But as we're wrapping up and, you know, I'm going to let you go soon, we're moving actually into the new year. 2021 is fast approaching, which is really exciting given the state of this entire year. What are some goals that you have for yourself next semester? Is there anything you think you would want to keep doing that really worked for your physical and mental health this semester? Or are there other things that you kind of want to try doing differently? So my word for myself this semester has been just like steady. I just wanted to be steady. And there were like some really great moments. There were any like blow moments really. But it was just very steady. And I want to just continue that. But also just like, I don't know, have fun, but in, you know, the same way I was doing it, just continue to stay steady. I think that's a good word for this time. In terms of other goals, I don't know, I think my semester is going to be pretty tough in terms of like academics. So just like continuing to stay. Also it's going to be snowing when we get back, which is something that I need to mentally prepare for, because I don't know what that's going to do for me. But I think just like continuing my creative ventures, I'm going to take this time at home to be like super creative and read a lot, which I don't always do. So if you're listening to this, keep me hold accountable. Yeah, just like hone into my creativity and remember like the things that make me happy and the things that make me feel secure. Yeah, just like enjoy it. You know, that's, I'm not going to be a sophomore forever. Like I'm losing. I feel like last semester went by really quickly, so I'm going to just like enjoy it as much as I can. Well, I think that's great advice. And as someone who is moving into their final semester of college, which is really crazy to think about, my advice also would be to just enjoy it every year, comes with surprises and excitement and things you never would have guessed that are coming. I know it's been a really weird semester and just a really weird year in general. And I think you've done such a great job to stay positive and focus on the good things that you can gain from this time. So speaking of happiness, I know you said you wanted to focus on staying happy and being steady. This is a question that I ask all of my guests on the podcast. What is something that brings you endorphins every day? Oh, I love that. And also, I love the name of your podcast every day in door. Thank you. I'm like outdoor voices or something. So the good brand. Something that brings me endorphins. You know what? Actually, this isn't something I do all the time, but I've done it a few times and every time I've done it, it brings me endorphins is the fitness marshal. Have you heard of him on YouTube? Is this Isaac? Oh, wait, no. I'm thinking of something different. Like, yes, fitness marshal. He does like a one song dance. And I sometimes would do that like in the morning after my workout. Oh, that brings you into the greatest mindset for the day. I also just love dancing and I miss like dancing and all that. So that brings me endorphins. I think that's why I was obsessed with TikTok during quarantine and honestly to this present day. It's because the day like dancing just makes you very happy. I would say. So I love that that's your response. The fitness marshal. The fitness marshal, yeah. I haven't done one in a while, but I should do that. Well, thank you so much for coming on to the podcast this afternoon. I hope you have such a great holiday season and I guess I'll see you in the spring. Oh, thank you Stella. I love to doing this. Happy holidays, Merry Christmas. That's all for now. Thank you so much for listening. Have a happy holiday season. Merry Christmas. Happy quanza. Happy late Hanukkah and happy early New Year. Thank you guys so much for continuing to follow everyday endorphins throughout this journey in 2020. And I'm excited to see where this goes in the New Year. again.