EP #113: How Our Beliefs Impact Success & Our Ability To Be Magnetic with Amina AlTai, Holistic Leadership & Mindset Coach

(gentle music) Welcome back to another episode of Everyday Endorphins, a mental health podcast focused on the importance of finding joy and happiness and daily living. I'm your host, Stella Stephanopoulos, and this week I am so excited to bring on a good friend of mine to talk about some topics that have actually been top of mine for me recently, which is around magnetism, building the life that you want, and approaching entrepreneurship with a self-care mindset. Amina Altai is the guest for this week. She is a holistic leadership and mindset coach featured in Goop, entrepreneur, mind body green, and more. She's also a wellness expert and former marketing executive. Amina approaches her work from a really interesting perspective as someone who had to grapple with a really fast pace career, which eventually led her to suffer from two autoimmune diseases, burn out, so I think she does a really great job of drawing from her life experiences to inform her coaching philosophy, her holistic approach towards building businesses while also learning how to take care of yourself. In this episode, we talked about how she built these philosophies, how you can cultivate a self-care mindset when it comes to building your career, whether or not you're an entrepreneur, some of the best practices towards becoming magnetic, how it plays a role in manifestation, and generally speaking, how to manifest greater success and happiness into your life. I'm excited for you all to get into this episode, but before we dive into the interview, reminder to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever listening platforms you prefer. And if you're more of a visual learner, I launched a sub-stack newsletter recently, where I talk about the interviews that I do, I talk about the community events that I run in New York City, and some of my own thoughts and ideas around endorphins, happiness, purposeful living. Last month's segment, I actually talked a little bit about the difference between success and impact and how the two are related, how they're also different, grappling with how we define success. And I think some of what I was contemplating in that newsletter actually ties in really well to this episode. So definitely go check out the everyday endorphins sub-stack if you're interested with love for you all, out there listening to also subscribe, if you wanna hear more of my stream of consciousness as well. (gentle music) - Hi, Amina, thank you so much for coming onto the podcast. It's so great to have you here. - Oh, I'm overjoyed to be here with you Stella. It's gonna be awesome. - It feels like just yesterday we were sitting down and having lunch and like we got to meet in person for the first time, but that was honestly quite some time ago, so it's crazy how fast time has flown and I'm just so thrilled to get to talk to you about so many different topics that you're super passionate about and I'd love to talk a little bit about your work being a holistic leadership and mindset coach. So first, how do you define what a holistic and leadership mindset coach is? And can you talk a little bit about your path towards getting to where you are now? - Yeah, absolutely. So I might answer that in reverse. So I became a coach because coaching literally saved my life. I worked in marketing and brand management when I was in my 20s and I was just like revving at 100 and just working super hard and I eventually burned out and I developed two autoimmune diseases and it was like a very intense, I call it my stop moment because I almost died and my doctor was like your, days away from multiple organ failure, you have to do something different about your life. And so I had to choose like am I gonna continue working the way that I'm working and like really not listening to my body or am I gonna go another way? And so at that time I went to coaching and I was like I've gotta get my life together. I was working with all these doctors to get healthy and coaching really shifted my perspective and I could really see my role in my illness and my wellness. And it just empowered me and just taught me so many things. And at that point I decided I wanted to go back to school to learn more so I did a coaching certification and was exploring nutrition. I did a mindfulness certification just getting all these teachings to feel better in my own life and when I did I was just so lit up by feeling so good and what was possible when I felt so good that I decided that I wanted to teach that. And it was sometime before I actually formalized my work into a coaching curriculum but when I became a coach one thing that was really clear to me was that the individualized and separated approach didn't work. It didn't work to have a career coach, a separate mindset coach, somebody that was also weighing in on well-being, I really wanted an integrated approach. And so that's what I created for my clients because I think that's really where the game changes. When we're not looking at ourselves as separate systems but really as a whole person, a whole body that has a career that wants to take care of their health that might have mindset challenges and let's get into it from every single angle. And so my work touches on career and business, mindset and well-being because I think that we really need to look at all three of those pieces to thrive. - Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I mean, I think health permeates every single area of our lives. So in a way, it doesn't really make sense to think of them in a black box like our career versus our personal life versus our health and our wellness because they all indirectly influence one another. And it's something I've even experienced as well. Like when I feel really fulfilled in my personal life with my relationships, I can focus better at work. And when I can focus better at work, I'm actually deriving more pleasure from the work that I'm doing so I have a greater sense of purpose. And I think that allows me to show up better in how I take care of myself. So it is really integrated. I wanna go back to when you mentioned that you would experience this really severe period of burnout in your life. What was that experience like? Was it a series of moments that led to this crash and burn or was it this cumulative pressure that you were starting to feel but then all of a sudden your body was like, "This is too much for me and it started to shut down." Like what was that inflection point that kind of pushed you to the edge? If I'm honest with myself, it was a slow burn but I wasn't listening and I wasn't paying attention. So it was small things that then started to add up to really big things. And I remember the two worst symptoms were I had really bad memory loss. And this was in my 20s right at a time where we should be cognitively firing on all cylinders but I had memory loss. And I remember having five notebooks at a time 'cause I was just taking so many notes 'cause I couldn't retain things in my head. And then my hair was falling out. And again, being young and flippant and caring about my appearance, I was like, "That was the thing that got me to go to the doctor." And when I realized that it wasn't superficial and it was so much bigger than that, that's when I was like, "Okay, I actually have to do something here." My body's been whispering now it's shouting and we have to change. - Yeah, I feel like oftentimes it's not until there's this big aha moment, we realize we need to address this medically, like we need to go seek out professional help. I was actually reading something the other day about the importance of falling our intuition and how our intuition is really tied to emotional intelligence. Just really fascinating because like the higher emotional intelligence you have, the easier it is for you to actually follow your intuition. It's like having the self-emotional intelligence. Do you feel like from the previous experiences you had in your life, you've been able to strengthen this sense of following your intuition and like listening to your own gut feeling? - Absolutely. At that period of time in my life, I could not hear my intuition at all. And I remember asking my coach at the time of like, "How does one hear their inner voice?" She was like laughing at me of like, "You can't hear yours and I couldn't. I was so disconnected and I was so disembodied." But interestingly, I was actually having lunch with a friend last week and she just had a baby and she's a really well respected therapist here in New York and we were talking about how babies have this innate wisdom, right? They can actually sense that their mothers are in the room even when they're not touching them. They just have this wisdom and this wisdom in their body and they're communicating all these different ways that doesn't use their mind. And that's how we are until we overuse our brains. And so many of us are conditioned to overuse our brains and I think that was me too. And so I was denying my inner wisdom over revving, overusing my brain when there was all of this intelligence in my body that I wasn't listening to and I think that's the case for so many of us. I think also once we hear our intuition, we can't unhear it. - Mm-hmm, yeah, exactly. It's like that gut feeling once it's there and we recognize it. It's really hard to shut that down. The concept of following your intuition can feel kind of fluffy. It's not very tangible. It's hard to actually put into practice. And I think this is something that most people struggle with but especially young adults, 20 something year olds, even more so in a city like New York where there's so much stimuli that's externally just around you, distracting. You're being pulled in one thing and to another direction. So are there any practices that you take to kind of quiet the outside world around you and enable you to kind of focus more within so that you can more easily access that gut feeling or that intuition or that inner sense that maybe you're trying to tap into but it's hard to do when everything around us, it feels like it can be moving a million miles an hour. - Yeah, that's a beautiful question. So in a city like New York, we're constantly receiving stimuli and when we're in an activated state if our nervous systems are activated in flight, freeze our fawn, we actually lose the ability to take in the information. So we're overstimulated on one hand and then we can't take in things that we actually need to receive. And so some of the most important practices I think are ones that downgrade our nervous system or get us into rest and digest. So meditation can be a beautiful practice but interestingly not all meditations and breathwork exercises are rest and digest. And so I think somatic work and nervous system work is really powerful because it does does invite our bodies into that state of receptivity where we can hear ourselves and we have a bigger window of tolerance to take in what's happening in the world around us. It's been some of the most transformational work that I've done for sure. So, quieting ourselves meditation can be a great practice. I think it's sort of a low barriers to entry practice for a lot of us these days because there's so many apps. We can even do, you know, box breathing that just takes less than a minute and beyond that if you're looking for a practice really somatic work, I think is so powerful that nervous system work. Yeah, absolutely. And that's something I'm also really interested in exploring personally is somatic work. I've done a little bit of like raky and energy healing, which I would assume is separate from somatic, like pure somatic types of therapies, but anything like acupuncture raky, I love it really calms me down immediately. Out of curiosity, just given your experience with dealing with chronic health issues and autoimmune issues, did you ever seek out acupuncture treatments or forms of therapy? I did. I did acupuncture for a very long time and I loved it and it was super helpful. I probably did acupuncture for five or six years straight. I would go every week or every other week and, you know, it was really privileged and fortunate to have great insurance that covered most of it. And it was so helpful. There was definitely a time in my life, especially in those early years, the diagnosis was so helpful, particularly with the Hashimoto's I found. Yeah, no, it's very fascinating for me because I've had a lot of hormonal issues and I've sought out acupuncture therapies and it definitely was helpful in just calming my nervous system and getting me to feel a bit more relaxed and I kind of liken it to the experience of Shavasana, like that sensation of floating or even in a float tank, honestly. I don't know if you've done the sensory deprivation, but I love those experiences and just to close out this topic on regulating your nervous system. I've also recently developed a love for cold exposure. And if I can do an ice bath, like if it's accessible, I will. A friend of mine, her name's Lauren Shramm, she's a Nike trainer, she's also on the pod class. She hosts these incredible ice bath workshops and that's kind of how I first got introduced to it. We've also partnered together for various yoga and breathwork events. She's fantastic, but it was through her that I developed this love for cold exposure and it's kind of addicting because the more you do it, the more you you realize that you can do hard things and you just learn to breathe through it and it's really empowering. Yes, we can do hard things if we learn to breathe through it and regulate our nervous system through it. It's so powerful. Exactly. And I wanted to ask you also about being a leadership, holistic coach, how did you develop your philosophy around this idea of approaching this practice from a holistic perspective? And with this philosophy, how do you kind of break down what you guide your clients through? Like, can you walk me maybe through a typical session or maybe not a session because I'm sure it's bespoke to each client that you work with, but more broadly, like how do you think about approaching these types of issues that your clients are facing from a more holistic perspective? Yeah, so a lot of the tools that I created were ones that I wanted when I was challenged and struggling and they didn't exist. So a lot of these tools were created out of necessity in my own experience. And the work that I really love to do and I'm known for is more of the purpose work. So really answering the question of like, what am I called to do? And we don't have to know what that means for the entirety of our lifetime, but I have this five part framework that looks at where our genius is, what we value, what we want to impact in the world, how we can get our needs met and what brings us joy. And I believe that when we look at work through that lens, it's just so much more holistic and enriching than, you know, a singular focus. And so that's really where I start with my clients. That's the foundational work, whether you want to change careers or you want to start a business or your course correcting an existing one. Most of the work actually is inside of that framework because the needs piece looks at wellness, the genius piece looks at leveraging the best of you, the impact piece, those people that I work with that are called to do purpose driven work. They care about impact. We're spending more of our heart beats at work than we do anywhere else. We have to be values aligned. So so much of the work that we do is actually inside of that framework. That's really fascinating. And it reminds me of this philosophy that I was kind of picking up on in this book that I read called shoe dog, which I'm sure you're familiar with, Phil Knight's memoir about Nike. And there was a really interesting part of the book where basically he was talking about business at large and how when you're in service of others, that's like really truly practicing business rather than being in service of oneself. And I had a really interesting conversation with a friend about this not too long ago around finding fulfillment in your career and what it takes to be successful. And how a lot of the like super successful people out there have started their work purely from this passion of wanting to help others. And that's manifested in different ways. I think passion is a beautiful place to begin. I like the conversation of passion, but the conversation of passion can be a fickle one because passion changes a lot over our lifetime. But I think it's a beautiful entry point. And so my invitation is from passion to purpose because inside of purpose, I think there's a bit more longevity. But the idea of service is woven throughout and I completely agree with you when we shift the conversation from self to service, it really expands and like blows the door open. And it doesn't mean that we can't create something that is in service to us too because it absolutely should. And the true definition of economic justice means that it's serving you and the people that you serve at the same time. But something happens when we take it outside of ourselves and we think about do we want to impact our family, the community or the greater good and how through the beautiful. But podcast is super conducive to that both myself and yourself and you have a podcast as well. And so I think just this platform is conducive to not only servicing oneself but also servicing others because anyone can just listen to it. And hopefully take away something valuable and impactful and actionable that they can implement into their lives. But for me personally, like I love to have these kinds of conversations because I get to learn a lot and I know that in your podcast being the host, I'm sure you feel similarly. But this also leads me to another question that I had for you, which is around the inspiration to starting your podcast and how that's woven into your brand. Yeah, so I think probably similar to you, I'm very curious about people and I love learning like that's I think a true line through my whole life is like I want to know everything about the people that I meet and I'm just very curious and I love getting to the bottom of things. Are you into human design? So that's so funny that you bring it up because I have been researching a little bit about it because I want to do an episode on that down the line. But I honestly know nothing about human design. So anyway, human design is a body of work that's similar to astrology and it's essentially the contract that our soul made with the universe in this incarnation and how we're called to serve and we all have different energy types. But part of my design, I have a one in my profile, which is investigator and like I really am like I love getting to the bottom of things. I have an insatiable curiosity. And so there was a part of me in my business that was feeling really great. Like I love my client work. I'm obsessed with them. But there was also this part that felt like something was missing of I want to be engaging in these conversations in a bigger, more impactful meaningful way. And the podcast felt like a great way to begin that. And there was sat down and I was brainstorming, I was like, oh my God, all these people that I want to talk to you, I can't wait to dig into this. And it just felt life giving. And so going back to my five part framework, I was like, okay, it leverages my gifts. Right. It could fit into my business in terms of meeting my needs, right, because it could actually be a top of funnel activity that brings in clients. It definitely brings me joy. It's absolutely values aligned. And I can have a big impact here because I could reach more people through the podcast than I can in my one on one work. So it checked all the boxes for me and felt very aligned. That's incredible. And I want to do a bit more research into human design, because I think it's a really interesting framework. It's a leverage when trying to figure out, you know, should I make this career switch or, you know, maybe like just big life decision. Should I move here? Should I do this? Should I do that? I think these are maybe the external frameworks that allow you to tap more into your intuition to look more inside. And you mentioned something earlier also about when we were talking about servicing others, but also servicing yourself. This circular kind of framework around that and something that I know you talk about and have also written about is this concept of cultivating a self care mindset when it comes to building your career. So I'd love to switch gears a little bit and talk more about this. So first of all, how do you actually cultivate this self care mindset? But secondly, what does that enable us to do if we're looking to achieve a certain goal with our career? Why is it important? Great question. I think sustainability is so important when it comes to our careers. We end up spending more of our heartbeats at work than we do anywhere else. And I think it needs to feel good for a lot of us. It doesn't have to be the be all end all. We don't define everything there, but we spend so much time there. I want it to feel really good for people and really sustainable for people. And we're seeing that burnout is the smoking of our generation and overworking is the smoking of our generation. And so there are so many people that aren't feeling good in their work that are giving too much and they're not feeling sustained and cared for in their work. And so if we have the conversation of what is it that I want to do and how can I take care of myself at the same time versus separating those two things out, and gets one of the most generous things that we can do for ourselves. Because it allows us to stay in the work for a lifetime and not just a season, because like in my experience and so many other people's experiences, we flamed out very fast because we weren't taking care of ourselves in the context of our work. And I think it just makes the whole experience so much more joyful, right? It's like I'm not turning in burning. I actually can enjoy this experience. I can have friends at work. I can go to sustainable pace. And even going back to the nervous system work. When we're operating from a space of burnout, we're actually not using our higher brain. So we're often in that fight flight freeze fawn response. and as a result of that, actually quite literally, we lose the ability to see what is different in the room. So, from a strategy perspective, from a being effective at work perspective, we lose all of that. So, if we want to be effective at work, taking care of ourselves is a prerequisite. I think that's really fascinating because it's something that I also have been trying to implement. Like, how can I approach my job, my career, my profession with this self-care mindset? And I think it's hard for people who are very ambitious and goal-oriented, like action-oriented, like needing to do things to achieve, to accomplish something so that you can feel like you're doing a good job at work. And it does, it can lead to burnout, but when you're in that state, like you mentioned, maybe you're not actually operating in that consciousness or in the higher brain, where you can actually be more efficient. So, are there any steps that can be preventive before getting to that place where you're kind of not even operating efficiently anymore? Like, are there any steps that you can take to prevent getting there from feeling like you're about to hit that? Okay, so many. So, one of the things that I want to talk about is, so my book is about ambition. Because, like you, I am very ambitious, all of my clients are some of the most ambitious people that I know, and sometimes our ambition gets the better of us. And I think I have this framework on ambition, so I believe that there are two types of ambition. There is pain-fueled ambition, where we are chasing our bigness from a place of pain, of not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy, feeling like the underdog, and then the other side of the coin is chasing our, or being in right relationship with our ambition, and coming at it from a place of purpose. And the difference is the come from and the why. And I think of ambition really simply as just a desire for more life, right? Sometimes when people think about the word ambition, depending on who they're assigning the label to, it can be a good thing or it can be a negative thing. People have used the word ambition to describe me accusatively sometimes, right? So, depending on who we're labeling, but being in right relationship with our ambition means really healing the why. Because when I first came to my career, I was not in right relationship with my ambition. I wanted to achieve because I didn't feel seen, didn't feel seen, or heard, or understood. And that is what fueled my burnout, I believe. And I think that same is true for many of my clients. And so the work really is to understand why we want that thing. What's the story that we're telling ourselves? What is the mindset that is driving our desire for growth? And is it a healthy one? I think mindset work there is some of the best work that we can do to prevent the burnout. Because why are we working so hard? What is the story there? And then particularly for underrepresented people like women, people of color, we tend to do a ton of invisible labor in the context of our work. So in addition to our paid labor, we do a lot of things like the volunteer work, and that only exacerbates burnout too. So, but again, the bigger question is, why are we doing it? Such a good point coming back to your why. And we were talking earlier before this recording about the importance of breaks. And I previously took a break on the podcast for a few months. Because I was starting to feel a little burned out. I was doing so many interviews, and I love doing that. Don't get me wrong. But when you're so in the weeds of the execution, it is easy to lose sight of the why, the bigger purpose, really like getting back to the motivation for doing this in the first place. And I've taken some time to journal and reflect, and be a bit more present in my life, give time to other areas that I wasn't previously giving. And it clarified to me really what this concept of finding endorphins in daily living means so that I can better communicate it on the podcast. But also why this podcast is important to me, and is kind of like my baby, and how I want it to evolve. And so, I personally resonate with what you're saying, because I feel as if I've kind of experienced that mindset shift myself. When you take a step back and really ask yourself why, and go one step deeper. Why? You're able to kind of uncover maybe some truths that you were subconsciously, or beliefs that you were subconsciously holding onto, that weren't serving you. So then you can actually create the space to move forward in a healthier way. And this brings me to another topic that I wanted to discuss with you, which is manifesting, and the way that our belief system impacts our behaviors and our reality. So, something that I'm really curious to learn more about is this concept of being magnetic and manifestation. So, can you talk a little bit about what manifestation is? What is this concept of magnetism? And why is this important to setting yourself up for the best life possible that you can? Yeah. So, I would never call myself an expert on manifestation, but the idea of magnetism I'm really into, because I think of it as removing any of the obstacles between us and what we desire. And mindset work is really powerful in that, and so is nervous system work. I probably sound like a broken record. But from a belief system perspective, in the mindset cycle, our beliefs drive our thoughts, our thoughts drive our actions, our actions drive our experiences. So, our beliefs are often unconscious and unexamined, and they're just rolling around our brain like an operating system that we don't even know is there. So, I'll give you an example. When I first became a coach, I didn't realize that I had a belief system around how much I could make. I had an upper limit, which is basically a false ceiling that's held in place by a negative belief system. And there was like a first couple of years I kept hitting this one ceiling, and I was like, "Why can't I push past this one ceiling?" And then I did a hypnosis session, and what I found was I had a story there that I learned at one point how much my dad made when I was like seven years old, and in my brain, I cemented this belief that that's how much you can make. And if I go beyond that, I'm going to be kicked out of the family. There was a whole belief system and a story there. And if I hadn't done the mindset work, I would never have known that, and I probably would have stayed stuck in that space. So our mindset, our beliefs, drive our thoughts, drive our actions, drive our experiences, and round and round and round we go. And so some of the most important work that we can do if we really desire something, if there's something specific that we want in our careers and our lives, is really look at our belief systems around that thing, because there's likely something unconscious and unexamined. And I always reference Carl Jung's work when he says, "Until we make the unconscious conscious, it directs our life when we call it fate." Because it's so true. It's like the cities that we choose to live in, the partners that we choose, and the work that we choose to do are all driven by mechanisms that are unconscious, which is wild. We all think that we're choosing our jobs and our partners and our cities so consciously, and it's not the case for most of us until we sit down to really examine. And the other piece is nervous system too, because if our nervous systems don't feel safe to have that next level of success, to have that next thing that we want, we're not going to have it, because our nervous system is going to be in that perpetual fight, fight, or freeze. We're going to lose the ability to see what is different and see the opportunities, and we will stay where we are. Do you think that the body needs to be primed and calm, so that you can do this mindset work, or can this happen in tandem? Like, can this happen simultaneously? I think it can happen simultaneously. I don't think we have to wait until the body is calm, and I did a ton of mindset work before I ever did somatic work and made progress. And so enter the work where it feels easy for you to enter the work. The best way to begin is to begin. And so don't wait for perfect timing, or for your body to feel like it's in that perfect space. Start with what you can stand in. Start with something small and just grow from there, for sure. Yeah. I think these concepts are so fascinating because, specifically with magnetism, manifestation, there's so much that I see on TikTok about how to manifest anything you want into your life, or how to become more magnetic. And a lot of it is really mindset shifts. And I think because I'm constantly being fed this type of content on TikTok, it's like education that's coming my way. But if someone is not well, as well-versed in these topics, or feels kind of fluffy to them, what are some concrete strategies that someone can adopt to becoming, quote-unquote, more magnetic, or rather like, what are some things people can do to start to dismantle those unconscious beliefs that are not serving them, and rather teach themselves how to have better thoughts about themselves, building greater self-esteem, greater self-confidence, greater self-worth. Two books that people really love, and one of them, I think, is such a great entry point. So, Carol Deweck, who is the Stanford researcher and professor who introduced the idea of growth mindset. She has a book called Mindset the New Psychology of Success, and it's a fantastic book, and it talks about the shift from fixed mindset to growth mindset. So in the fixed mindset, we believe that our abilities are fixed. In the growth mindset, we believe that we have the capacity to grow, to learn, to adapt, and evolve. And you would not believe how many of our beliefs are fixed. So many of us are operating from that fixed perspective, not all the time, but it does really get in the way of our desired outcomes. So I think that that's such a nice, easy way to enter the work. She has some great tools in there and exercises. It's a fantastic read or listen, whatever you prefer. And then the other book that I would recommend, that's a great entry point, to shadow work, is called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. It's like an old school book. It's from the late 80s or 90s. It's an old one, and it's like an original self-help book, but the exercises in there are incredible. So Carl Young, who I just referenced, he came up with a concept of shadow. So he believed that we all had these "dark sides of our personality" that we didn't want people to know that we had, so we relegated them to the shadows, because we all grew up in family systems that praised certain qualities and shun others. I grew up in a family system where perfection was praised and messy was not. And so I lived into this whole performance of everything's going to be perfect, and I'm never messy, and that's not the truth. There are times that I am messy because I'm a human being. So we all have these shadows. And if we don't integrate the shadow, they have a hold over our lives and they absolutely get in the way of us having what we want. And so that's a really awesome book too to help understand your shadow and integrate it so that it doesn't have a hold over you. So I would recommend starting with those two books. They're honestly fantastic and nice easy entry points, I think. Well, I'm going to add them to my reading list. I'm currently in the middle of the body keeps score, which is a long book and I feel like that's something I'll constantly need to revisit because it's so dense, but so fascinating. And I would probably argue that I'm sure that a lot of what's written about in that book, there's overlap between the two books that you just mentioned as well. I'm sure it's an awesome book. Yeah. So another question that I wanted to ask you is around this concept of building a minimum viable wellness plan, which I think is a really fascinating way to think about kind of having a blueprint for the steps that you want to take to just feel baseline healthy, but I'd love to hear your definition of what this means and how this practice can help you feel empowered to make healthy choices in life. Yeah. So I work with a lot of people that are really career driven and oftentimes taking care of themselves falls to the wayside. So when we enter the conversation of how are you going to take care of yourself, it often is like kind of grandiose. It'll be like we have to work more or our kids need something or we're traveling a ton to then it's like well what can we do around those moments? So what's the smallest thing that we can do that still allows us to show up fully? So is it the 10 minutes scientific workout and a five minute meditation and then really building from there, but asking yourself what's the smallest thing that I can do that allows me to show up fully? Kind of like micro steps. Like what are these small actions that you can implement every day that you make habitual that you can at least fall back on and know that if I do this, then I'm still taking care of myself. I think that's something that's super important because I know personally if I feel like I need to check off all these boxes on my to-deal list just to stay healthy, it's incredibly overwhelming. And then I default to actually unhealthy practices. When I get overwhelmed and I get super stressed, I go straight towards sugar and then I feel crappier. But then I continue to indulge in it and it's this vicious cycle. So I love this concept about having this minimum viable wellness plan because it makes this idea of wellness and taking care of yourself feel a bit more accessible and not so daunting. That's exactly yet because so many people will be like the minute things get busy, I have to drop everything because wellness is just taking so much of my time and it's a behemoth and it's actually like well if we do these bite-sized foundational things, you can still take care of yourself and feel good. Exactly. And I think it also makes it more accessible to everyone because something that I don't necessarily love about the wellness industry at large is that I think it still paints this picture of wellness and and feeling tranquil and at ease is something that like you need to have a lot of money for or all the time in the world and that's just not everyone's reality. And so I think it automatically excludes a lot of people from feeling as if they can access health. But something that I've learned throughout doing this podcast is that happiness and that sense of joy and fulfillment is never going to be something that you just can grab onto externally. Maybe those are more immediate pleasures, but that's not something that's going to sustain you. Really it starts from within you and accessing that joy from inside yourself and how can you cultivate this inner ecosystem and reality in which you can thrive and flourish. And so I just really love that concept around having this blueprint that is super bite-sized and easy to implement because it builds this concept of self-efficacy to actually want to take care of yourself and do the things that are good for you. Yes. What you just said, remind me of just looking up the title of the book, it reminds me of this book, it's called Real Self Care by Dr. Pujo Lakshman and she is a medical doctor and at one point in her career she ended up like joining this cult that was like super wellness focused. Yeah, it's a really interesting story. Basically the theme of her book is that self-care is not external, it's all internal just like you said. Like the work starts on the inside, it's not about the fancy bubble bath with the 30 dollar bath salts and the wellness practice with the sound bath healer and all of us can access, it actually starts internally which I think is so beautiful. Yeah, I'll never say no to a sound bath or indulging in little luxuries. I think that actually, it's funny, I think it's a little ironic because there's this trend I want to say TikTok maybe showed me it but like Gen Z years putting more energy towards these like little luxuries. So spending $30 maybe on like a nice recandal then like a cheap one from a drugstore or something or spending your money towards little luxuries essentially. And it's funny because at least for myself when I'm able to incorporate those little treats in my day to day, if I can sprinkle them out throughout the week, it actually gives me a little boost of joy and endorphins. So I think it's like about balancing that line where recognizing that yes true happiness comes from within that you have to kind of do the hard work to like the mindset work that you were talking about, the somatic work, whatever is conducive to you and resonates with you that is necessary but also it's fun to indulge in these little luxuries or treating yourself and that also can't go and notice. Yes, I love that it's a bothand absolutely. Exactly. And as we wrap up, obviously my podcast is focused on happiness, joy, endorphins, seeking out the small pleasures in our day to day. So I just have a few final questions for you but the first being how do you define happiness and how do you see that play into our health? Happiness is actually not my goal and this might sound controversial. So contentment is my goal. So a lot of Western conversations are around the idea of happiness. Happiness is short lived. Of course I want some happiness in my day. Of course I want these moments of joy. But if I anchor only in that, I'm not allowing space for the rest of my human experience. And all the studies suggest that those of us that are most content are the ones that allow for what is known as emo diversity, diversity of emotions. So we have happiness in there. We also experience grief and anger. Sort of more of those eastern contemplative practices to feel more whole in my experience versus trying to hold on to these moments of happiness that I know will ultimately shift. Yeah, that's really fascinating. And in a way, I think it kind of challenges a lot of the language that I use when talking about happiness on the podcast because a lot of it's centered around actually anchoring onto those moments of endorphins and joy during the times that are more difficult. But my personal philosophy, I think, is actually more similar to yours, where I think it's necessary to experience that wide range of emotions because it's funny because there's that Disney movie inside out. I think that it's yeah, inside out, I think is what it's called that actually beautifully describes what you just said in a poetic, but also PG rated movie. It's this idea, I think that like in order to really savor happiness, you need to experience the complete opposite. And even in the sadness or the more difficult times, there can be some sort of joy that is felt and holding onto maybe that emotion is what enables you to build that resiliency so that you can then be strong in the face of adversity when what's bound to happen again because that is life. It's the ups and the downs. So I think I actually would agree with you, but there's also I think personally this idea of kind of holding onto those joys, but recognizing that those small joys maybe aren't everlasting, but it's like how can you create that sense of sustained joy and happiness and maybe it's more so contentment in your life? I love that. So beautifully said. Yeah. Thank you. Well, with all of that being said, my final question to you is a question that I ask every guest on the podcast. What is something that brings you a bit of endorphins every day? I love that. And I have two thoughts on that. So one is nature. Like I really am an outdoor cat. Yes, I happen to live in New York City, but if I could spend a lot more time outside, I absolutely would. So just being in nature really is such an endorphins boost for me, like the smell of grass, the smell of like the sun hitting the earth. Flowers like all of it, just really boosts me in such a huge way. And the other thing is is really seeing my clients change their lives like as a result of the work that we're doing. It's just such a beautiful thing to see people actually have what it is that they desire and feel that sense of contentment. I don't think anything brings me more joy or endorphins to be honest. Yeah, I love that. I mean nature we know is healing. I think forest bathing is now an actual prescription from the doctor in Canada. I want to say love. Up to test. Exactly. So we know that nature is good for you. And again, connection and seeing people feel like they can flourish in their lives and helping them to achieve that goal, I think is one of the most rewarding feelings. So I love your answers and I resonate with them as well. Amana, it was incredible having you as a guest on the podcast. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. You are so gifted at this. It's so beautiful to watch you in your flow. And I'm just so grateful that you had me on. And thank you so much everyone for listening in. You can learn more about me on my website, omanaalty.com or on Instagram @omanaalty. And then you can find my podcast, "I'm going to change your life everywhere you get your podcasts." Thank you. It was my absolute pleasure having you on the show. Thanks for listening to this episode of Everyday Endorphins. If you liked what you heard, make sure to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever platform you prefer. You can also follow along the Everyday Endorphins Instagram account to stay up to date with episodes, future events, and all things related to mental health, well-being, and happiness. Don't forget to keep spreading Endorphins and find things in life that bring you joy every day. Until next time. (gentle music)