EP #107- Cultivating Beauty From The Inside Out and Embracing Discomfort in Life with Christina Flach, Celebrity Makeup Artist

(gentle music) I used to think being uncomfortable meant it was a bad thing or I shouldn't do it. And I've learned that being uncomfortable, great things can happen. Welcome back to another episode of Everyday Endorphins, a mental health podcast that focuses on the importance of finding joy and happiness in daily living. I'm your host Stella Stephanopoulos, and this week is about how to cultivate beauty from the inside out and face life's challenges with grace, a sense of compassion and gratitude. Christina Flack is a world-renowned makeup artist with experience working with celebrity clientele, magazines, and big name brands. She's been featured in Vogue, People, Time, and L, and she's worked on campaigns for Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Nordstrom, Bloomingdale's, and more. She's also the creator and CEO of her own makeup brand called Pretty Girl Makeup. And in addition to creating a successful career as a makeup artist and entrepreneur, she's also a philanthropist who's used her platforms to raise funds for various causes, such as children's education and sepsis awareness. In this episode, Christina and I talk about how makeup can impact our perspective on beauty and our own self-image and our self-confidence, and also the irony around makeup and how beauty really does start from within yourself. We also talk about Christina's own perspectives and experiences with mental health struggles after experiencing a lot of loss and grief in her lifetime. Before we dive into this episode, reminder to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever listening platform you prefer, and follow along everyday endorphins on Instagram and TikTok to stay up to date with future episodes and podcast events in New York City. Hi, Christina, thank you so much for coming on to Everyday Endorphins. Hi, Stella, how are you today? - I am doing well and even better now that we're finally getting to sit down to do this interview. I've recently been going to the office more often and I've been wearing more makeup because I wanna feel like presentable when I go to the office space. Today I'm not wearing anything, I'm working from home, but I've noticed for myself that I feel so much better when I put on a little bit of makeup, it does not be anything crazy, but I've just noticed from my own experience how makeup has impacted my own wellbeing. So I'm really excited to have you here today to talk about your career path makeup, it's relation to our wellbeing or sense of confidence. Let's start there. I wanna learn more about how you got into the space of beauty and cosmetics and kind of like what brought you to this point in your life. - Well, I love what you say about that. It's, I usually say that it's like making makeup helps you look like the best version of yourself and why wouldn't you wanna put that out in the world? You wanna feel confident when you go into a meeting and it's almost like you exercise 'cause it makes you look and feel better, you eat well, you rest, all these different components of our life that help us look like the best versions of yourself. So I think it's not superficial. I just think it just shows that you take pride in yourself and that you're confident and you're there to focus on whatever the meeting is. - Yeah, also as well, there's different types of like makeup trends so something that I've been really into is like this clean look or just having like very minimalistic makeup not really overdoing things because I think kind of coming back to that natural beauty look also makes me feel really empowered as well. - Yes, I agree. I think that if you look at my portfolio on ChristinaPlak.com you'll see that most of the people on there except like the high fashion shoots that I do are just that clean, fresh, dewy skin, bright eyes and just looking pretty and not overly made up and not looking at a face going, oh my gosh, wow, there's red and blue and orange and green and you don't want the makeup to be a distraction. You want it to help you but not to distract from what you're there for, which is focusing on whatever your meeting's about. - Yeah, exactly. And I think also Haley B. Rekoin the like glossy donut, your glazed donut. - Yes, I like that, it's true. - Yeah, it just feels very like clean put together, like you're glowing. So I try to emulate that when I do my makeup but I don't know if I've achieved that yet. - I'm sure you succeed every time. - So I really would love to learn more about how you just got into this whole space. What was the inspiration for wanting to pursue beauty and being a makeup artist as a career? - I really didn't know that this was going to be my career path but I remember when I was a little girl and my mom had been diagnosed with brain cancer and she had had chemo and radiation and she was incredibly beautiful but after all of that, she just didn't look or quite feel like herself when she was going out with my dad for dinner one night. And I said, "Mom, I'll do your makeup "even though I had no clue what to do, how to do it." She didn't have a lot of products but I miraculously made her look like the best version of her at that moment. And so what I love about my job even to this day is transforming someone into something that they didn't know that they could look like. And it really feels good for people and it's not just with my famous clients, it's with everyone brides or different business people. It's really a gift with purchase to me as having this job that I get to have that experience with someone. - Yeah and it's really fascinating to see how the inspiration comes from such a personal moment in your life, especially when someone is sick. I think the littlest things can also kind of go the furthest way when trying to take care of someone who is not well. Even if you're not sick, that extra step in your routine to just make yourself feel a bit better can really make all the difference. - Oh, I completely agree. And I just think, why would you not want to be the best version of you in all aspects of your life? - Yeah, absolutely. Everything that this podcast talks about. - Yes, I think it's great. I love this idea. It's an important place to be of going into life in all situations, I think, giving your best effort. Your best attitude, your best work effort, just all of it. It all presents us to who you are in the world. How have you tried to maintain that sort of attitude throughout the course of your life? - Coming from a place of gratitude. Like when my agent's call or a client calls to hire me, I would give my agent calls, they always laugh, I have three agents and I just say yes. And they're like, what you don't even know what you're saying yes too and I said, whatever you're calling about, I'm gonna say yes. I'm really grateful to be selected even after all this time and working with all the different people I've worked with. I'm really great. There's a million makeup artists in the world and to feel that I was selected because of my work, how I work, how I, all of it is an honor and I'm very grateful for that. And it's exciting. I get to go meet new people and travel and have a different experience. And it's kind of like your podcast. I get someone in my chair that I don't normally get in my chair all to myself. But I get to pretend I'm George Stef Northwest and interview them. (laughing) I've never thought about the similarities between being a makeup artist and podcasting, but I see where you're making the connection 'cause it is a really special moment to like have that one on one time with a person and learn more about them. And I just kind of, I love how you made that relationship. - Yeah. Well think about it. Like I don't, I think everybody has a story and it doesn't mean like it doesn't have to be someone that is famous or I learned something interesting from literally everyone that sits in my chair. I mean, you'd be surprised with different things I've learned whether it's different CEOs that we talk about business or I had once the CFO of Google. And she taught me to when I was blowing out hair 'cause I'm a makeup artist that does hair. So let's start with that. I'm not a hairstylist. I don't cut color or do anything like that, but I can do photo shoot here. And she was telling me like, no, get that brush and pull. And like she was like, be aggressive with that. I'm like, I don't wanna hurt you. She was, no, you're not hurting me. She was just happy like, so she taught me the best blowout tricks of my life, the CFO of Google. So you never know. You never know. You never know who's gonna teach you something. So it's always fun. Yeah, well that's also a very valuable life lesson too. Like having that sense of being open-minded as well and receptive to learning from everyone that you crossed paths with. I think it's also just really incredible that you've had such a wide variety of clients throughout the course of your career. Can you talk a little bit about, as you started to gain momentum, as a makeup artist, how all of those opportunities started to arise for yourself? I think it was just, it's so funny. They say the more you work, the more you work. And it kind of happened that way. I started doing photo shoots and then people would hear about me. And then I had enough work to try to get an agent. And so I submitted my work and miraculously got signed. And it really did change the course of my career when you have representation as a makeup artist. It just, I wouldn't have had an in at Gucci or Louis Vuitton or work with different people, different celebrities I've worked with. So it's been such a blessing and I'm so grateful. I wouldn't have had the Rita Moreno or Hillary Swank in my chair or the Condoleezza Rye. So those are really exciting people to have had the opportunity to work with and to move on. meet, spend time with. That's really special. Yeah, absolutely. And just having that support and help, I think, can also bring your career even further and help accelerate things, but also working with celebrities. How do you stay grounded and also have the sense of humility and stay humble? Because I think in the whole celebrity entertainment space, it's easy to let fame and recognition kind of get to your head. So how do you maintain the sense of like gratitude, like you're talking about and just ability to just to stay a bit more grounded? Well, first of all, I've had teenage daughters. So they keep you grounded. My sons are a lot easier. But I also see how different celebrities have treated me and how I like how they present themselves in the world and how they treat people. And also, it's just not in my nature to be arrogant or difficult or I'm pretty grounded person. And I just, that's how I want. I want everyone that has worked with me to have to have a nice experience and to think like, wow, she was really nice. She's hardworking. She's not painless and great to have around. So I kind of am how I want to be treated. But I treat everybody, honestly, I treat everyone the same. I, it doesn't matter who I'm working with, I am respectful and kind to everybody. Yeah, I think that's so important. You know, treating people the same no matter, you know, their recognition or status because, you know, at the end of the day, kind of like what you're saying, you want to treat people the way that you want to be treated. And so that does come back around. I personally don't know a lot about the career path of being a makeup artist and kind of what that looks like. So can you share a little bit with my listeners what your like typical day looks like? And, you know, I imagine it to be super busy and probably stressful depending on who you're working with. So how do you kind of navigate some of the stressors that perhaps present themselves in the type of work that you do? Well, first of all, it's never the same. I'm never in the same place. I'm very, I mean, when I'm lucky, I get to work with the same people again and again. And that's really it's like going to camp summer camp, right? You get to be with the same people. It's typically early in the morning. And so I get to bed early. When you're on set, you need to look somewhat together and I have to be awake. So I make sure I wake up early enough to take my vitamins, have my green juice, drink my water, have some breakfast, work out if I have time and get to set. So I'm ready to take care of myself. So I'm able to take care of everyone on set that I need to take care of. So that's the most important thing. And it's stressful, but it's not. It's fun. And I'm comfortable in my skin. I'm confident in my abilities. And it's just at this point, I know what I'm doing. And it's fun. I love it. But it's exhausting as well. Like you're on your feet and you're running around and there are long days and then you get back in the car or you're away from home for a few days. But it's it suits me. I'm kind of a gypsy. I like, I like being in different places and working with different people. I just think it's such a fun experience. It doesn't get boring. And then days like today that I'm home, I was actually in New York last week. I had a shoot and I had some interviews that I heart radio and some meetings. So that it's fun. So then like I'm home right now. So I have my tea, I worked out, I went into Pilates today and I'm catching up on all the things that I missed. And so it's fun to chat with you. And you know, I have three interviews today. So you're number two and it's fun. You're fired up. I'm fired up. My caffeine's all kicked in. I'm ready to go. Yeah. You mentioned working out in the morning. I try to do the same as well. I think that it actually energizes me. And even if I'm a little tired, I know that the minute that I go or finish the class or the run or whatever I'm doing, I'll feel so much better. And it just kind of automatically gets my my mental state in a better headspace. And I feel already more accomplished because I just did something in the morning. You know, I have a great time. It's like super important. I agree. I think it just helps with everything. But I also don't beat myself up of how long my workout is. I try to be consistent whether I'm on the elliptical or I'm doing some yoga in my hotel room or today I went to Pilates tomorrow. I'm going to go to my hot power yoga, which I love. I try to change it all the time. But if I only have 10 or 15 minutes, I'll go do that and feel okay about it. I've really stopped beating the heck out of myself with judgment of oh, I didn't get an hour in or it's more of consistency as opposed to the length of each workout. That's so how do you think? How do you how do you feel about that? I completely agree. And that was something that I actually struggled a lot with when I stopped playing a sport. So in high school, I was on a crew team and that was a very rigorous, intense sport. And I was practicing five to six days a week. It was really stressful on my body, but I loved it. And I'm so happy I did it because I think the sport itself taught me a lot of discipline and grit and building like that resilience muscle in you. So I'm so happy that I did crew. But that that was also kind of like the lifeline of everyday endorphins because that's when my Instagram account actually had originated as this blog when I was a student athlete back in 2013. But when I went to college at WashU, I was not on a crew team. And that was a very pivotal point in my life because I had to redefine my relationship to exercise. And at the time, like I would go to the gym and I would like mentally kind of time myself when I got there, how long my workout was like it had to be an hour because I was used to doing two hour practices. And now as I am definitely not a rower and I don't consider myself an athlete, I do teach yoga. Actually, I teach hot yoga. So I, oh, my favorite. Yes, I love yoga. And I've been a yoga practitioner for my really my entire life. But that's besides the point now it's been really about learning to just build in those smaller moments every day of just getting in movement and doing something that like feels good in my body. And I think that's really something that's hard to kind of reconcile and learn to be okay with when you come from such a stressful and strenuous sport for majority of your adolescent life. Yes, it's funny that you say about the rowing because I live on the water in Marin County. And every morning I wake up and I see the crew that the rowers out on the water and it's like today it was dark and I'm like I can't imagine being out there in the cold in the dark first thing like it sounds awful to me because I like to be hot. So that's like my worst fear, not fear, but like the last thing I want to do is go outside in the water and be full. Well, yeah, same. And I was honestly lucky because my practices were actually after the school day. So it was like four o'clock, five o'clock. So I never had those crazy early morning practices. But if I had rode at WashU, those were like the five a.m. workouts. And at that point, I was just like I devoted so much of my high school life to doing this. I don't want to have that commitment in college. But California is there's a big rowing community there. And that is like a very beautiful place to be on the water in Marin versus in the Harlem River in New York City. So different vibes. That is definitely a different vibe. Yes, I look out at the but you know, I'm looking out at the green hills because it's been writing so much and the water it's beautiful. And I think that's great, but it's just I'm happier my hot yoga studio sweating. Yes, and that's that's my happy place now as well. Is teaching in the hot yoga studio and also taking classes there. Clearly physical activity, getting in movement is so you know foundational to our health. And I do talk a lot about this on the podcast, but aside from working out, what are other aspects to your routine that make you feel good in yourself and in your body? We can talk a little bit about makeup because obviously I want to learn more about that, but aside from you know, focusing on beauty, what are other things that you do that make you feel good and that you just kind of incorporate into your routine that you consider to be a health and wellness practice? Well, I speak a lot about beauty from the inside out. And so for me, it's not about the makeup on me. I mean, obviously, I'm a makeup artist and I love makeup and making people up. But as the years have gone on, I've really realized the people that are easiest to work with, that their skin's good, you know, everything is much better is the people that took care of themselves, whether it be like I'm really disciplined, like I wake up and have water and lemon first thing in the morning, handful of supplements, probiotic, I make my own green juice, I have tea, I make sure I get enough rest and the exercise, I laugh, I love to laugh. I think having like a lot of love in your heart and laughter makes people and being confident with what and being happy, it really shows in how you photograph like with people that I work with. I really see the people that are enjoying their life and are positive. They photograph better. It's amazing. Your eyes don't lie when you're sad or you're upset. It shows. I mean, I can be the most remarkable makeup artist in the world, but if the person that I've made up is angry or negative or just has bad energy, you can see it shows. It's pretty amazing. So that's one thing I've learned and I think being grateful for things. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, think of what you do have. Life's a lot easier when you're positive that way totally agree I'm I actually speaking of gratitude and practicing gratefulness. I Recently was gifted this five-minute journal. I don't know if you've ever seen this and I'm so happy that I was gifted it because one of my goals Was to start writing more because I used to have a consistent practice and I don't anymore But this is holding me accountable and the format of the journal has a quote at the top So it's like you do it every morning. So for example This quote says happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold Happiness dwells in the soul which I think is what we I love that I'm writing that down five-minute journal I'm literally gonna order that as soon as we're done. Yeah, it's it's a game changer and After the quote it says I am grateful for da da da and then you list three things Then it says what would make today great and you list three things and then there's a space to write a daily affirmation And then you revisit the journal in the evening and you write down three highlights of the day and something that you learned and I've just I love that so great. Yeah, that's awesome. I love that I do a lot of affirmations as well In fact, I do it in my yoga class. I the class I go to there's a mirror Some yoga studios have mirrors some don't but mine has a mirror and so I will they say that the affirmations are more powerful When you're looking in the mirror. So I try to mouth my affirmations So I don't disturb other people in my class with my I am you know the universe loves me. I say it three times I am let's see I accept and expect miracles and then I do one that is I am successful. I'm grounded I'm determined. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm loved. I am grateful. I am wealthy. I say that a million times So I think of a lot of infr elf affirmations. I think they're they're great. So I think I think being open to all of the amazing things in life The world can be as remarkable as you want it to be if you're open To new things I learned this year. I'm also on NBC beauty editor on Beauty expert on California live a couple times a month and I didn't want to do it at first when my friend Berlin Fisher asked me to but he said you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable And that sentence changed my life because I used to think Being uncomfortable meant it was a bad thing or I shouldn't do it and I've learned that being uncomfortable Great things can happen. I am so much more confident After doing these segments on live TV. It's terrifying live TV and tape TV or well first of all I got much more comfortable doing these podcasts that helped considerably But then doing live TV if you mess up it's over tape TV is a lot more forgiving so it's that's easier But some days I'll have like one segment that's live and one that's taped and It's exhausting at the end of that because you're really it's you're it's like an an athlete you're you have to be on and you can't I mean you can mess up, but you don't want to so right you're very you're very focused Yeah, I want it. I want to pause there with what you said about Being comfortable with being uncomfortable because that was actually a quote that was shared to me when I was in high school on my crew team by my coach at the time and it was one of my Favorite quotes I'd ever heard and it's it is something that really has stuck with me and it's something I actually say During pigeon pose during my yoga Because it's actually like sometimes very physically uncomfortable a lot of people Stort emotions in their hips and also we just like don't stretch there often and So it's kind of like this physical sensation. It's a bit uncomfortable But when you direct your breath to that area you can kind of relax and you know the whole thing But not thinking yoga I think you know when I heard it at the time It was it was shared to me in the context of a of a sport and like my body was physically very uncomfortable Like you're pushing and you're trying to you know It's endurance. It's anaerobic exercise. It's all the above But your mind can really overpower that and you can do way more than you think you can and so learning to take that lesson away from the sport of rowing and into my life has been so incredible How how is it impacted your life? You know, I love what you said also just how you had this fear around discomfort like you thinking it was a bad thing But really the only constant in life is change in the minute that there's no growth or something that evolves It's death and life ceases, you know, it's it's done. So I've been thinking actually a lot about this this concept too and I just want to hear from your perspective You know how it's shown up for you in life. I love that you know that it's such a young age Like I didn't learn that till I was in my 50s So your life's gonna be so remarkable because you have this mindset so good for you Can't wait to see what goes on in your life. I'm gonna be like watching. I Think what it's done is just opened up so many possibilities to like it when you're open to things. It's amazing what pops up I really try to focus on the outcome that I want instead of what I don't want because I think the universe does whatever you focus on So why not focus on something that you want not want not want I think I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was a lot braver That you're I absolutely agree with you your mind if you your mind is so strong that if you tell yourself Positive things it's like a mate your brain will do whatever you tell it to do So if you tell yourself you're gonna get sick you're gonna get COVID you're gonna get you're gonna die Well, that's probably what will happen. I went through COVID and never got it because I'm like oh hell no I'm not getting that I am like no and it's just it's so funny. I just tell myself how I want it to be and that's how it is So I kind of manifest. I don't know. I'd love to hear your theories on manifesting because I'm sure you're a master Manifester Well, I don't know if this will resonate with you and I Hate to share that That this is where I've gotten a lot of my advice from honestly, but TikTok really has a lot of interesting Content depending on what side you're on and theories around manifesting and I'm still trying to figure it out for myself Like what I actually do believe I don't think that if you just You know magically think oh, I want this it'll just fall into your lap like I don't think it's About just like simply oh, I want this and now I'm gonna get it there I think there has to be intention behind it and there has to be I don't want to say a game plan because oftentimes you plan for something in life Frozen up, you know on its head, but there has to be some sort of like intentionality behind it And I do but I do think that it's more of like that mindset and it kind of like what you're saying if you if You know our brains are so powerful and the reality that you perceive is solely through your perception and what is our perception? It's like the thoughts that we have in our heads and where are these thoughts coming from? Oftentimes you can't really control them, but you can definitely filter through what you're thinking and you can definitely train yourself to think things that are going to be more Positive for you that will then correctly, you know lead to an outcome that is more you know It'll be more probable that you'll achieve that outcome that you're looking for so you know for my own personal Life and drawing for my own experiences There have been things that you could say that have manifested for me with my podcast that I It's not like I'm in disbelief that they've happened because I genuinely You know, I don't discount the fact that they did like I believe I believe it makes sense that they happened and for whatever could happen in the future I currently believe that to be true So that's kind of how I think of manifesting is is having that belief in yourself and also being really intentional to about Kind of like the energy that you surround yourself with whether that be people or places or things that you have in your space and in your environment Because I do think like you know, it's good vibrations like you want good things around you and Something that I heard on a podcast. So I can't take credit for this, but I really want to use it um Is this saying that self-care is a form of self-respect? Wellness is not like um, you know A nice to have or something that's on the side of your life like it is integrated into your life And when you make choices that are good for you You're respecting yourself. So how could things not fall into place? Um, but that's just something that I've thought a little bit about and I think it ties into this concept of manifesting that we're talking about Yes, I think uh self-care is not selfish. It's enabling you to have enough energy and enough space to take care of everyone else So I actually think It's the most generous thing that you can do for your world to You know take good care of yourself going back to what you said a little bit ago about You know, we plan and you know, whatever happens So there's this really great book that I read by this rabbi Sherry Hirsch called we plan in god laughs And it was such a great book because it really taught me To ride life's waves like you know, we can plan all this stuff and manifest all this stuff But then you know the universe has a mind of its own and You know a tsunami appears in your life and then you have to decide how you're going to ride that tsunami um, you can You know wallow and be miserable and cry and feel sorry for yourself or you can go okay. These are very moldy lemons How am I going to make some delicious Fresh lemonade out of these so that's what that book does so I really think that's great I believe all of that. I really do. I think when we're open and we're happy and we're learning. And also know, I kind of know that everything's gonna, when you take away that fear, the fear factor of, oh God, am I gonna be okay? The world's gonna, if I do that. If you take out the fear out of everything, what would you, how would you run your life? How would, what would you do if failure and fear weren't a factor? And I think that the only failures in life are not trying. It's not even trying. I learned this, I just took this landmark forum class. Do you know what that is? - No, I'm not really good at that. - Okay, well, it's just like a, like four day class on, you know, being the best version of you and learning how to do this. And it, and one of the things I learned was so interesting was, you know how people go, oh well, I'll try to do that. That leaves you an out for failure or not really doing it. So if you commit to something, say, like, yes, I'm gonna do it or no, I'm not gonna do it. Those are definite. Like those are like, I mean, if I commit to you telling you like, I'm gonna do this podcast, well, we have a commitment. Like, I'm gonna be here giving you the best version of me. That's it. It's not a, or I could say, no, I'm not going to do that, right? But saying I'll try is kind of like wishy washy. So I think committing to something that you're gonna do, like, I may not know how I'm gonna get to the finish line. I'll figure it out as it goes on, but I am going to do it. - Yeah, I'm so different, so different. - I couldn't agree more. I also think that there's just so many things that I've seen, like especially on TikTok around this idea, if you, like if you knew you were gonna achieve this specific outcome that you're looking to achieve in a year or in two years, like, what would you do differently now? So I think it's also about detaching expectations from certain outcomes and having the trust that you are exactly where you need to be. 'Cause oftentimes it's easy to get carried away and feel like you're not on the right path. But once you can kind of sit back and just relinquish this idea of certainty that we attribute onto life, this was actually something that a previous podcast guest of mine, Andrew Mournayne talked about. He's very big in philosophy and he said it more eloquently than I ever will, but he was talking about this idea of like learning to really relinquish control because we always place false certainties on things, but the only thing that is certain in life is uncertainty. So when you can kind of recognize that, not everything has to feel so stressful and chaotic because you learn to, like you were saying, go with the flow and ride the waves of life. However, this is something that's really hard to put into practice because life can throw insane curveballs at us. And I know that you've experienced a lot of grief and trauma in your life. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that if you're comfortable too and share how you've navigated that journey. - That's a great, I like how you presented that question. Yes, I have had a lot of loss in my life, my mother, my baby died on Christmas day, my husband passed away, my business partner passed away, my uncle just passed away a week ago. I've had a lot of loss and I think the person who taught me the biggest lesson was my daughter Melania. She taught me one day she came into my office after my husband passed away, which was five years ago. And she said, "You know, Mommy, you have to be grateful for the time you had with him, not for what you don't have." And I just looked at her and I'm like, "Okay, bitch, how'd you get so wise?" When you look at things from that perspective, we are not guaranteed anything in life. Like we think, "Oh, you've met this person that you love or your child that you love so much, you think you're gonna be with them until for 100 years." And it's just not that way sometimes you get what you get. So you really do have to be grateful for that time. You have to, that's why like for me in my life, like I really, the greatest gift anyone can give me as time and I really cherish the people that I love. And I always am like telling them, "Law, I love you so much." I just, that's my, probably the trauma that I've had. I'm always like, "Ooh, like when people leave, it kind of freaks me out." So I've had to learn to like let go of that. It's hard, you know, but you have to just do it. The only way to do it is to do it. It's not like, "Oh, I'll fix myself and I'll do it." The only way to fix yourself is to do it. - Yeah, and it's so hard to actually just do it. Like how do you train your mind? You just, honestly, you just take one step. And okay, I did that. It gets easier and easier. Doing these podcasts, when I first started, I was trembling. I was so uncomfortable like taking. I was on the view once, talking about beauty and fashion. And I was, like my leg was like, I thought, "Oh my gosh, everyone can see me on national TV. My leg is going up and down. I'm so scared." But the more you do it, the more comfortable you get. Like when I started being the beauty experts on California Live on NBC, I was terrified, but my friend, Berlin Fisher, said, "You know, get comfortable being uncomfortable." And so that really taught me to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And it's not going to be the end of the world, but it opens up so many possibilities to amazing things in life. I mean, that as a makeup artist, to be able to be on TV, talking about beauty trends or DIY hacks at home to do, and all these different things that are, like, holiday makeup for Christmas. I could never have dreamed that big, but it happened because I was open, right? It comes back to this point that you made earlier, which I loved around beauty coming from within. Because I also do think that when you are going through a healing journey that I think will kind of always be continuous, you're bringing more beauty into your life, right? And so you're bringing that sense of beauty within yourself, and that will therefore radiate externally as well. Yes, I agree. You know, after someone passes away, I remember thinking, "I just want to feel normal again. I just want to feel normal again." Well, what my normal was is certainly what my normal is. It's very different than what my normal is now. So I had to create a new normal. I remember after Candide, my agent called and said, "What can I do to help you?" And I said, "Just get me on set. Just book me a suit." And she's like, "It's been a week. I'm like, I don't care." Just because to me, whenever I'm on set, that's my happy place. And so I was so insane. I actually thought, as soon as I got on set, I'd feel like the old me. And I got there literally seven days to the day that my husband passed away, and I was not okay. I did the shoot. I was very quiet. I broke down crying. I mean, just so not, I was so raw, but I really truly believed like, "Oh, I'll be normal." I'll at least there feel normal. I didn't. So I had to learn to create my new normal. So that was challenging. Yeah, definitely. I mean, when you go back to a place that brings you a lot of joy, and the minute that you go into that environment in such a horrible headspace and realize that it's not really the things around you that will guarantee happiness, it has to be that you're showing up with that. It kind of hits you like a truck, right? That was the biggest smack in my face. Besides my husband dying, I just, I was so lost. I really was like just lost in every aspect of my life. I was just beaten down. You know, and that's what I'm saying. I planned, I had married this great guy. I was happy, my career was great. My kids were great. My ex-husband was great. Everything was great. And then it wasn't so great. And it really sucked. Like at a level of suck that you just didn't even know existed. So I had to get it to unsuck and figure out what was going to make me happy again. What made me laugh? What made me, what brought me joy in my life? You know, I started, my husband used to buy me flowers all the time. So I started buying them for myself. Liding my camp, like just doing things that made me feel good again. And that's kind of like how I, that helped. And just being kind to myself, what are my friends told me? You would never treat another human the way you treat you. Like you beat the hell out of yourself. And it's like terrible. And then I thought that I'm like, my gosh, I really am hard on myself. Yeah, I mean, everything that you're saying confirms the mission behind everyday endorphins, which is to seek out those endorphin feelings in life to seek out happiness because it's not always obvious. It doesn't always come to you. And the minute that you are unhappy with yourself, an environment that used to bring you joy may not. And so you have to learn how to bring that really, you know, cultivate that within. So everything you just said really is actually a great segue into the question that I ask every guest that comes onto the podcast, which is what is something that brings you a bit of endorphins? every day. Well, you know, the workout for sure. Having something to look forward to seeing, you know, my family and who I love, you know, when my guy walks in and, you know, he came home last night, I hadn't seen him in almost nine days because I've been traveling and then he was and I'm like, oh, I was so happy. And, you know, I wake up in the morning, my puppies there. I don't know, I have so many things in my life that bring me joy. My kids calling, you know, this brings me joy. And I mean, I think you can look at anything as exciting. I, you know, I'm like, oh, I'm cooking something new. That's fun. We're watching the Warrior game or watching the Yukon basketball, which I'm like loving watching the college, the NCAA finals. That's fun. I don't know. I really think everything's just fantastic. That's a good mentality to have because then you can see things in a more positive and exciting light. And even the days that feel kind of boring, you know that there's always something you can find to look forward to. I think that's something to kind of hold on to when times get to be a bit more difficult. So I, I loved your response. Christina, it was such a pleasure having you as a guest on the podcast. Where can my listeners follow along with everything that you do and stay connected? Well, thank you so much. It's pleasure being on your show. I loved your questions. They were really, really thoughtful in mind for voking. You can find me on ChristinaFlak.com, PrettyGirlMakeup.com and coming soon. I'm too busy. We are on Instagram, ChristinaFlakMakeup, and PrettyGirl is P-R-E-T-T-Y-G-I-R-L-N-K-U-P. We're offering a 25% discount with discount code PrettyGirl, all one word. Thank you. Again, it was really such a pleasure having you as a guest. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to this episode of Everyday Endorphins. If you liked what you heard, make sure to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever platform you prefer. You can also follow along the Everyday Endorphins Instagram account to stay up to date with episodes, future events, and all things related to mental health, well-being, and happiness. Don't forget to keep spreading endorphins and find things in life that bring you joy every day. Until next time.