EP 086 Asian Cuckold Couple

[MUSIC] It turned out to be a highly embarrassing thing for me too, because I actually came before he did. >> So were you masturbating while you were watching? >> I was told not to, and like I felt that- >> Charles, did you touch yourself? >> I did, right now. [LAUGH] >> Get ready, this is consenting adults. >> The conversations you're about to hear are intended for mature audiences. If adult themes are offensive to you, well, grow up. >> So dirty talks, a sex talk? >> Yeah, it started off as dirty talks. >> I was actually very excited to see my partner with somebody else. >> She looked at me and said, so you want to have sex with other people, that's what you're saying. >> [LAUGH] >> And you've finally done a turn on to hear about what he did. Yeah, and then it's like I want to come home and get it the way she got it. >> Does he know you have a boyfriend? >> Well, this is consenting adults with Lena Wynn. >> I'm really excited about my guest today because while many Asians have reached out to me since I started doing the podcast, none have been willing to go on the show. None ready to talk about their experience, which is understandable because it's still a very taboo topic in most communities, but certainly for some certain demographics, it's really taboo. Asians being one of them Vietnamese, being a whole other thing. We have Charles on the show today. He's a 42 year old chemist who also teaches at a university. He's married. His wife, Cindy, is 34. She's in real estate. She's also beautiful. She does some modeling. And they've got something really exciting going on. Charles, welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on and agreeing to share your story. So you're out there in New York City. At what point did you realize that you and your wife were kind of just not cut out for a traditional monogamous marriage? >> Hi, Lena. And thank you for having me on your podcast. I'm a big fan. My wife is the same too. >> Thank you. >> We've started seeing each other several years before getting married. And even then, I already know that she has very high energy and it's something I'm unable to keep up with. We always look for alternative and we both tend to be more open-minded than most about this issue. >> Is your wife also Vietnamese? >> She is. Yes. >> Okay. We should say that you've been married for about five years. >> Correct. >> And you've been what kind of open about it since the beginning? I mean, when did you actually start having sex with other people? >> I haven't. It was her. She felt that we have a great emotional connection, but just not when it comes to sex. So, culturally, we are both Vietnamese, so we have a strong tie, but when it comes to attraction, she is more into white males. So, we definitely discussed that, and I was perfectly okay with it. And we thought to discuss it and she said that like, yeah, she would love to see someone just for intimacy and then we still, we made a couple in every other way. >> Oh. So, this is a cuckolding relationship? >> Yes. >> Hold on. Where I'm going to go back to the beginning a little bit here. >> Okay. >> So, when you said that like the sexual connection wasn't there, what actually are you talking about? I mean, did you have good sex with her? >> Well, the thing is that like Asian men are the most well, not the most well and dull, and like my stamina was kind of low too. So, it was not very enjoyable for her. >> Okay. And she was able to actually tell you this, or did you guys kind of spend some time not being honest? >> Yeah, we very honest about it. I mean, there was like no secret at all. Oh, interesting. I'm going to have to talk to your wife because the interesting thing is, it sounds like it was an issue from the beginning. >> Right. >> Right. And yet, I just find it intriguing that you still ended up together. You still married each other because you've been able to find a way to kind of work around just the sex part, right? >> Right. >> Because everything else is good. >> All right. Yes. Everything is excellent. Yes. >> Okay. On your end, were you enjoying the sex with her? >> It wasn't enjoyable for both of us because I was kind of anxious about too. It was something that we both kind of really didn't enjoy. It was not that good for neither one of us. >> Oh, interesting. How about before your wife was like sex ever enjoyable for you? >> Well, like I don't have too many partners before her. It's only two before her. And it was similar result too. >> Oh, okay. And were they Asian women? >> Yes. They both were Asian too as well. >> Okay. And did they ever express any displeasure? >> I guess the first one she really didn't, but my second one she did express it. And it was something that I knew too. So we did talk about and she was very honest about too. >> My last guest told me like the most fragile thing on earth is the male ego. >> Right. >> How did you come to terms with that? Like were you okay with it from the beginning or did it take you some time before? You accepted it and tried to find a work around. >> I'm not like the traditional very dominant type kind of male. So it was something that I feel that of course everyone wants to be the rule or the stud. But I think that if you can't, that's like nothing wrong with being a conqueror that is still a way for you to enjoy it and accept your shortcomings and make the best out of it. >> Okay. So let's get into how you got started. So you know you had open conversation but like how did you go about finding someone for your wife? >> The one that she ended up having is a student of mine. I taught him in his freshman and his sophomore year. And then we still, you know, stay in contact throughout his four years in college. And you know, I was sort of like a, I'm not only his professor, but sort of like a mentor to him and he went over the house several times. And even then like we definitely see that there was some, like some attraction between them too. And then later when we decided to talk about this, you know, I came up to tray and, and her as well and let them know that this is something that, you know, we both comfortable with. And if he was willing to be her boy and he definitely was receptive to it. But I guess in beginning it still take him a little bit to adjust to his new role because of, you know, the changing dynamic and stuff like that. So. >> Wow. So he's much younger? >> Yes. He is, I believe he's about 22 right now, 22, 23. >> Oh, wow. Okay. Do you remember like the first sexual experience your wife had with them? >> Hold her hands and took her to the room and then I follow them. And then, you know, in the room, it would be the out bad. There was a chair, like about six feet away from it where I was sit. And then it was a very novel experience for everyone. And at first it was not what you think, but at the word, I thought the A1 felt good about the experience. >> Okay. When you say that it wasn't what everyone thought it would be, what do you mean? I think that a lot of time people will see that when you actually do it for the first time, like the first time, like everything is not established yet. Like you don't have like a A1 doesn't have like a defined role yet, the first time. And for me, it was like, it sound a lot better inside your head. But like when it comes to reality, it's a little bit different. >> Oh, tell me about that. Were you jealous? >> Yes. The feeling of anxiety and jealousy does come up because like, you know, he's someone that like she find their track to. And also the big thing too is that like the changing dynamic between him and I too, as well. Before it was like he was my student and I was his mentor. And then now it's we have like a different relationship now than before. >> Yeah, yeah, he's like with your wife. >> But I get it. So there's a power dynamic change now, right? >> Right, yes. >> Now within that jealousy, were you aroused, were you turned on? >> Oh, yes, definitely. Just seeing like his stamina and his like, it was like she's the one who was overwhelmed, you know, after the session was over with, was something that like blew my mind completely. It's like I have to intimidate it and have felt this is like wow, this is like really erotic. >> Okay. >> So this was the first time for everyone involved, first time for you, first time for him, first time for your wife, right? >> Yeah, I mean like he did it with couples who the husband would be outside, but that was the first time that it was someone with you guys. >> Yeah. >> Oh, okay. So then this guy actually has been a bull for other couples. >> Yes. >> Okay. And do you think that that helped? Because can you imagine if he had no experience? >> Oh, yeah, that definitely helped because like, you know, like I should say it again, it was his first time doing it with someone that he knows before it was couple, it was like, it was just like, yeah. >> Rand, the hookups. >> He covered, yes. So it was his first time that it was someone that he knows. I thought it was easiest for him out of us three. The first experience was the easiest for him, yes. >> Sure. Okay. After this first experience is over, did you and your wife have discussions? >> Yes, we did. She felt that like he is someone that not like she says she wants to. not just like, you know, to be her sex partner, but also someone who can be like a mentor and like someone who's like, could be like the leader in a group because it's not something that we just do short term. We want this to be something that is ongoing. So I said that like my passive personality is like in very different contrast to him. So she thought that like, you know, having someone who's very assertive and very confident would definitely help us too as a couple and not just her. - You both knew you wanted more of this, right? - Covered, yes. - Okay, and it sounds like she's enjoying the having a more dominant male in the bedroom. - Yes, because before I always assumed that she was dominant, but it turns out like she's only dominant in comparison to me. I do see that over time she's very submissive to him. - What is your dynamic now? Are you still with the same guy? - Yes, he has been seeing another couple too as well, they are Japanese couple. The husband there is a little bit older than me and the wife is older than my wife too. So it's an older couple too. So the five of us would, you know, at times like hanging out and we even like vacation together a few times. - Oh, okay. So you've like actually developed friendships out of this. - Yes. - Now have the five of you ever gotten into a sexual situation together? - No, it's just him and our two wives. We are roommates from the other room, but we're not involved in with them. - Oh, okay. So but then the two wives have gotten together with Trey. - Correct. - Yes. - At one time. - And then the two husbands are in a separate room. - Correct, yes. - How about this again? When you guys are in the separate room, are you listening in or are you just like watching TV? - It depends on what's permitted because the key, like she definitely don't mind if we listen in, but she don't want us to do it unless, like, you know, she says, okay, we mainly stick around just to like play more like a helper role with them. - Interesting. And K is the other wife? - Correct, yes. - Okay. Have you guys experimented with other people or is it been just this one man? - She had been seeing, I think like a couple of other men, but like, she doesn't do it all, like it's not at the same time. It was just like, I think she did see like a few other men, but it's mainly with Trey, though, because I think that she's into younger men. So that's someone that she, do you want to be with? - So how much involvement do you have when she gets together with her bowl? Like are you always in the other room or do you ever participate? - Participate as in like, well, I mean, I didn't like, you know, changing their sheets or like just picking up their clothes and stuff like that, but not participate sexually. - How about like watching? Are you ever watching and masturbating? I mean, more than just sitting there and watching? - Yes, on special occasion, they do permit that. That one of the most erotic thing ever was like seeing like two women, you know, giving him a blow job. And I thought that was extremely erotic. And it turned out to be a highly embarrassing thing for me too, because I actually came before he did. So that's what, yeah. So that's why like, you know, they said, I'm not ready to watch the threesome yet. - So were you masturbating while you were watching? - I was told not to and like I felt that- - Charles, did you touch yourself? - I did, right now. (laughing) - You did, so you broke the rules, touched yourself, and you orgasmed before he did. - Correct, yes. - Okay. - Yes. - Is your wife able to do things with her bowl that she just doesn't do with you? - I think that with their relationship, it's a lot like, I guess like a BDSM relationship too. Like because like she enjoyed being submissive. So with him being naturally dominant, that only makes sense. So what does he spank her? - Yeah, I wasn't able to like see like what they do a lot of time, but like I just know that from seeing like, sometimes I see a leash and something bad, like sometimes like, you know, like I see her crawling around, you know, the house. - Can we go back to the first time? So the three of you go into the bedroom, you sit down on the chair. He starts to take her clothes off. Is she at any time like making eye contact with you? Are you guys checking in with each other? - Yes. And I think this is a lot, this play a lot into like the ego of the bowl too. It's like they really enjoy to fuck the wife while the cook is watching. And a lot of time like they would have like the cook, like, you know, knew and find the bed or something and like do the wife from behind. And like that exactly what happened. And I felt that from that time on, like definitely something changed that we couldn't go back to the way things were before anymore. Because like I think that like just seeing like how highly around she was was something that like, you know, I could never give to her that first time when I see like, you know, he was like doing doggy to her. And with me watching, kneeling before them and watching, I felt that that experience sort of like established the dynamic and the tone for the rest of the relationship. Right? - Wow. And so you have no desire to go back to the way things were. - No. - Like why would you, right? - You're both getting off on this new dynamic. - Yes. - So you've never participated sexually? - No. - With them ever. - Besides masturbating. - Interesting. Is there any thought that that might change? Like do you have any desire to take part? - Maybe this is a little bit hard for someone who's not like in the lifestyle to to copy hand, but a lot of time it's like it's the cut who needs the couple, you know what I mean? Because like the cut needs the couple to get off. So like being able to watch, it's always something about the cut is I guess grateful for already. And they're like like even watching, it's not like every, you know, every time a current is only on very special occasion that the cut gets away. - Oh, right. - I see. So that's your dynamic. So you don't always get to watch. - Cover. - Only sometimes you get to watch. - Cover. - And then even less, there are only special occasions where you're allowed to masturbate while you're watching. - Yes. Mm-hmm. And like the first time when I, you know, actually touched myself the next time when I was watching them, it's like hey, now you're gonna put your hands on top of your hand where we can see it. Actually no touch it. - Oh. - Yes. - Oh. - You're a bad boy. (laughs) - I am. - You know, listen, you don't listen to directions well, Charles. You're gonna keep your hands where I can see them. - Right. Yes, ma'am. (laughs) - Here's the thing. It may sound so weird and out there, right? Maybe even to other cucks. It may seem weird and out there that you don't ever really get to participate. But the thing is it works for you guys. It turns everyone on. - Right. And the important thing to is that like it has to be enjoyable and pleasurable for everyone. It can't just like, like this is something that cannot be abusive. And I think a lot of time like we get used to the idea of like, like, you know, like equal society and stuff like that. Well, the thing is that like, I certainly feel that in my profession, it's, you know, like a lot of times like, I feel that I always have to tell students what to do, how to do things and show them things like that. And it was nice just to be able to like just let it go and have someone, you know, read you for a change. - Do you and your wife still have sex? - We do not because she certainly feel that like, if it was disappointing before, it's definitely too disappointing now because she say that like, you know, like her white star, she felt that he's very, you know, long stamina. And she just feel that like it was just too amazing with him for her to do anything else. But she does emphasize that the love never changes. It's always there and that like she certainly don't feel anything different towards me emotionally or like in terms of like, how much she loved me. But no, we don't have, we barely even let, we have like a few times even before that, you know, nothing really changes what I'm saying in terms of her and I. - Oh, right. - So even before you got into the lifestyle, you really weren't having that much sex to begin with. - Oh, right. - I see. And so now you're really not having sex at all and you're okay with that. - Absolutely, yes. Because for me, like it would only be enjoyable if she also finds it enjoyable. - I see. Has this changed your marriage at all since you started this whole thing? - Oh yeah, I think that like with him in a picture more a lot of times, I think that like our love for folks. want another still remain the same, but like, you know, he's around more often and stuff like that. So, yeah, again, that's always that fear or that anxiety that like, you know, would she go with him and stuff like that, but it's reassuring to know that like, you know, he see other women and other couples too. So the chance of him like wanting something serious is very, very slim. But how do you deal with that? How do you deal with the anxiety of possibly losing your wife to someone who can please her in bed? I think that that's one of the things that draw like someone who's who has a very submissive and passive nature like me because like, I think that feeling of anxiety is also like a very pleasurable feeling too as well. Okay, so you turned on my mind. Correct, yes. I think that it's the same with like different feelings can like, can around something like that erotic. Do your family and friends know what's going on here? Family, not so much, but like, we have some friends like in the circle that knows about it. In my area, there's like a lot of like other like Koreans and Chinese couples too. And they are very similar arrangement too. So it's not something that's like very completely off of them. Right. Now, were these friends before you got into the lifestyle or friends you made in the lifestyle? We made in the lifestyle. Okay, but what about your friends before? Like in your, you know, your vanilla life? Do any of them know? A couple of them do, yes. But only a few though. Yeah, it's not like everyone knows. But like a few of our close friends do know that, you know, we, that she see Tray on the side and stuff like that. And they think to be okay with it. Now does Tray have like a regular girlfriend? Like his own? Yes. Yes. He does. He does. Yes. Okay. And what does she think about this? I met her only twice. From what I know, she seemed fine with because, you know, she did get together with my wife and key too. So it's, wait, it was Tray's girlfriend? Like has had sexual experiences with your wife and the other wife? And with him too. Obviously. Oh, yeah, yeah. Tray is the dude. He's. Trays having a lot of fun. Is she Asian? Yes. I want to say she's, she's half Chinese and half Vietnamese, I believe. I know that you say that you've kind of accepted everyone's roles. Right? It sounds like you've kind of settled in. So this is your role. This is his. And this is hers. And everything seems to be working right now. But do you have any fantasies? I mean, do you have fantasies that you want to fulfill that you haven't? I think ideally if like anyone could be a bull or a stud or whatever they would. But it's like, it's just like saying, oh, everybody wants to be a king, right? Or everybody wants to be a millionaire. But only certain number of people could be that. But it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy yourself or find like pleasure in other things besides being the more or the stud. Like I think that being a cut code could definitely be very fulfilling. I actually really enjoyed my role as a cut. What do you think would be the reaction of most Asian males hearing this? I definitely think that like they should be more open-minded and like accepting of things like if they do enjoy it, they're going to enjoy it. Don't don't like hold back on it because I just know that like from like talking like on farms and stuff like that, there's a high number of them that enjoy these things. But yeah, but they wouldn't like very comfortable saying in public. I see. So it's interesting. So there are a lot of Asian males who are into cuckolding. They just don't want to really talk about it, right? It's hard for them too. How long have you been in the US? I was here since I was nine years old. So like we talk like over 30 something years now already. Do you speak Vietnamese? I do. Okay. So this is really interesting to me because you know, I share these episodes on YouTube which gets a lot of attention from people outside of the US. And there's a lot of interest in Vietnam. Of course, they can't understand it. So I try to get my episodes translated. But do you know all the Vietnamese terms for the like it? What is cuckold? Like is there such a thing in Vietnamese? Come, come, with. I don't know. So we are right? Yeah, I don't know if there's a term for it. They call it gumsung. Gumsung. Gumsung. Yes. Yes. Which is weird, right? Because I think that like back in the days when you like a cuckold, it's like, it's like to have horns put on your head. So they call it gumsung. Yeah. But as for. Yeah. It's gum and not gum gum. Gum. Correct. Gum. Oh. Yes. Right. It's so difficult to talk about these things when when you don't know the lingo, you know, when and I'm not sure that there's there's a word for everything. Like for instance, like my episodes are translated into Vietnamese subtitles on YouTube and I've yet to look. But like, like how do you say orgy in Vietnamese? Like I don't. Yeah. It's and being that Vietnam is like a fairly conservative society too, right? Right. And a lot of these things originate in the West, you know, with with Freud and well, with Freud, the the the the the fat thought of psychology, you know, he he's the one who thinking about these things. So I definitely think that a lot of the terms you won't find in Vietnamese or if you find it, you say it, he will look at you very strange. Right. They're not going to understand. They're not going to know what the heck you're talking about. I'm just hoping that the people who are actually looking for the content kind of understand what it's about. And it's difficult enough to talk about it when there are words to describe it. Right. So you can imagine how difficult the conversation is when there are no words to describe some of the things that we're talking about. It's something that should be last taboo for sure. And I hope that that will happen. I think it's going to take a while. And especially for our communities, Asian Americans, Vietnamese in particular. By the way, and I don't know if you've heard of it down here in the OC, where it's the largest Vietnamese population outside of Vietnam. I have heard from now three people who've had first hand experiences at the lifestyle within the Vietnamese community in Orange County. So I know it exists. Right. I think a lot more people take part in it than we know. And certainly more than who are willing to admit. Right. With Vietnamese can be freaky too. Thanks Charles for sharing your story and I'm really looking forward to talking to your Vietnamese Vixen wife. All right. Next time on Consenting Adults, as promised, it's mistress Tatiana's husband telling me about the total control she has over him. When he brings you breakfast and bed, if he makes a mistake, do you be paddled in? No. Because that happens to me. And when. Like my eggs are too runny, get on all fours? That could happen. That's next time on Consenting Adults.