Enter the Escape Room with Wanda Sykes

My friend was like, "Where do you, why are you meeting all these crazy women from?" - Okay, see there? Tell us about the crazy women. - Ooh, nope, because when you talk about, I say you bring a big, they pop up. I can walk out of here somebody like, "Hey, man!" - I'm like, "Oh, geez." - Ah, yeah. - It's like candy, man. You can, don't, don't, uh-uh. - Nope. I'm not talking about candy, okay. - Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope. [Music] - This episode of IMO is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. - How are you? - I am good. Um, gosh, I'm so ready for, like, real summer to happen. - No, I know. - We never know when these things are gonna air, but as our taping, it's still spring, and it's not warm enough. - But it's, we're in L.A., so it's warm enough for me. It's a whole different kind of temperature than what's going on in Milwaukee. - Is it snowing? - No, it's not snowing, it's not snowing, but it is not as warm as it is here. - So, 40s, 40s, 50s. - Yeah, coats, sweatshirts, we're probably at the sweatshirt stage now. So as it hits 50, everybody will be in shorts. - Everybody's gonna be in footflops and, you know, going to the pool. - That's right. - Going to the pool, that was always the crazy thing about Chicago. It would be 30 below, and the minute it hit, like, 37, people were like, "Open the window!" - Yes. - Yes. - In the summer time. - Oh, my goodness. - Yeah. - So we're just victims of the cold. - I know. I know. Every time I come to L.A., I'm like, "Why don't we live here?" - I know. - Why? - Well, yeah, why? - I know, I know. - I guess it's kids. - I guess it's kids. - Two kids still in high school, once they get out, we are. - You two hurry up. - It's your education, free your father and your mother from the cold. - Those two. - A lot of basketball. - Oh, my gosh. - Every weekend. - Every weekend. It just seems to be too much. - No, it's not. I'm really having fun coaching them. - Well, that's you. How are they? Are they enjoying touching them? - Yeah, they're enjoying touching them. Well, Austin enjoys me coaching his 16-year-old. - Your oldest. - My 16-year-old. - Yes. - The oldest of the youngest. - The oldest of the young crew. - He enjoys me coaching. The younger one enjoys me coaching everybody but him. No, I'm just kidding. Aaron, Aaron doesn't mind being co-- But he used to hate it when I coached him. - Is he getting better about being coached? - Yeah, he's much better. He's much better. - See, this is why I always take up for the youngest sibling. You just can't, you know, you've got to give him a minute to fit, you know. - You do. - You've got to give him some space to, like, decide how he wants to order himself in the household with an older sibling. - Yeah. We laugh. - We laugh because he is a reincarnation of you. - That's my boy. I love Austin, but Aaron's my boy because we're the youngest. It's like me, Aaron, Sasha, Leslie doesn't count. She's the, she's the youngest. She's the only girl, but she's the youngest of the oldest. - Of the oldest, yeah. - But she's a little old lady, so she doesn't count. But Aaron, where everybody's mood depends on Aaron's mood. Just like you. - As it should wake up, if he's grumpy, the whole house is grumpy. If he's happy, we're all happy. - Well, then you should just make him happy. - Okay. He's still like grandma. All right, let's get down to business. - Yes, he has one of my favorite people, even though she talks about me. That's what he does. - White house correspondence thing. We're going to have a conversation about that. - Well, I got to tell you, you know, you and I both saw legacy. - Yes, and it was, it's so good. - Netflix special. - It's so good. And it's so good that when I, this is my first time being blonde. I see her, and I'm like, start giggling when I'm looking at her. Cause I'm thinking about legacy cracking me up. - Well, let's do a proper introduction and get her out here. - Well, Wanda Sykes is an Emmy-winning stand-up comic writer, actress and producer who has been entertaining audiences for over 20 years. - No. - Can you believe that 20 years? - That's a long time. - Her new Netflix special is called Legacy, which we both you and I saw. And we cannot wait to talk to her about all things Wanda. Please welcome Wanda Sykes. (audience clapping) - There she go. - I am Oh! - How are you? - All right. - Oh, that's okay. - Come on. - That's what happens is that he's in the way. - See, Wanda, you said a little pity person. - She just slid in there. - You just slid in there. - I just slid in there. - How you doing? - I'm doing well, thank you. - Thanks for having me here. - That's so good. - Oh, thanks for being here. - Let's just clear up this White House correspondent. - Okay, let's do that. - Let's do that. - Let's do that. - So you claimed that I was talking to you too much. - I didn't say too much, but you were a little chatty. You were chatty, ma'am. You were chatty, and you had to be nice. - And you were incredibly nice, but you have to realize the situation. - When you knew the room. - Yes. - Well, you know. - Come on, Powell was there. I mean, it was for our listeners and viewers. How many years ago was that? Wanda, you were the first female comic host for the White House correspondent's dinner, which was, what year was that? - 2009. - 2009. - Yeah. - I remember because our kids were just been born. They were like 12 days old. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - So you were sleep deprived too. - A little bit. - A little bit, a little bit, a little bit. - Yeah. - But the way it's set up in the hotel is that they've got the big desk with all the fancy people up there, all the speakers, and then usually the host sits next to the first lady, which was me at the time. - Yes. - And we go through a whole dinner, right? - Right. - I mean, which seems, that seems like no fun. - Yeah, they should have. - They should have, you know? - Yeah, you can care. - I didn't think I touched my food. - So we set together the whole time. And, you know, everybody's looking at you. So I'm thinking, well, I should talk to Wanda a little bit, just be like, hey, girl, how you doing? And how are your kids? And you're, you know, well, come to find out. (laughs) - It was focused. - You were focused. - It was a big deal. - And then, you know, the first term, you know, your first term and personal mama and just, you know, and we're black, you know? - Yeah. - So none of us came in. - Yeah. - Yeah, what does she mean? - Yeah, I'm gay. - I'm like, I'm like, they did vet me, right? So I'm just sitting here waiting for somebody. - They're attacking us and like. (laughs) - You know, it was, we'd be go birds or something. You know, somebody. (laughs) And he meant it now, like in my brothers out there, I'm like, I'm still happening, man. - I'm still happening. - So yeah, I was just really focused and I wanted to do a great job and I was just looking over my nose and I was just running my show through the head, you know, my head and you just kept making conversation. It was so sweet. It was so sweet, but I was just like, "My brain doesn't want to give me a second." Trying to figure this out. - I think I asked him what, oh, no. (laughs) - And one point, I was like, "Hell, what?" - And I don't even know who was on the other side of me, but I think I had to turn around and keep him company whoever it was, but yeah. - I forgot which report it was. - You were like, she don't wanna talk to me. - Yeah. - Well, let's talk about your new Netflix special legacy. - Yes. - Yes. - You recorded it at your alma mater, Hampton? - Yes. - That's great. What made you decide to record at Hampton? - I wanted to do something big. I wanted this one to be really special. - Okay. - And I played different cities and I said, "Well, what's the place?" What says a lot about me and it would be challenging for me. And my producing partner, Paige, her, was she's like, "You should go back to your school." And I was like, "I don't know about that." And I thought about it. And I was like, "You know what? It totally makes sense to go there." For one, I wanna get back to the school. I think it'd be a great experience. And it was an incredible experience for the school and the students because we put a lot of the students to work, you know? - Yeah, sure. - And also, I'm very proud of being an alumnus from Hampton. And so I wanted to, you know, give some light on the school and HBCUs because HBCUs are under such a tack right now. And also when I look at my audience, I'm blessed I have a very diverse audience, but you know, it's probably more 65, 35, you know, more 65 white people, white people love me. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - So I wanted to take my audience and bring them to my school to let them see that, "Hey, this is where I'm from. This is what made me." And also for Hampton to see, you know, hey, I'm, I'm still forgotten. Yeah, that's right. That's what was important. Now, how long does it take you to prepare the program for it? Is it as it was? Yeah, I try, yeah, I tour with the material for at least at least two years, at least two years. Yeah, this was probably three years, yeah. Yeah, because it's always changing and put that in, take that out, you know, always writing the things. So yeah, it takes a, I can't, I can't do it like I can't turn on that fast. Yeah. Man, man, what a, what a freaking gift, you know, I mean, were you always a wonderful storyteller? I mean, when you were growing up in Virginia, were you, were you a, were you a funny little kid? Were you more of a storyteller? Were you quiet shy? Where, where did this part of yourself come from? Um, my, my parents, great storytellers, I grew up around, yeah, my grandmother's like, they're great storytellers. Um, I talked too much when I was a kid. I was very talkative and, uh, and I've gotten trouble a lot. Like when my parents were having company over, they would send me off to my, to my grandparents because they, they had no idea what I was going to say. You know, um, like, yeah, like, my, my grandmother's friend, I, I told her, uh, she had, uh, horse teeth. Cause she would last. And I was looking at my, and they all knew when I was going to make this face like, and they were like, Oh, God, here it comes. Here it comes. And, uh, well, it was just the beginning of observational comedy. I think so. I had to set up, but no joke. Yeah. So you just, you just, you just said exactly what you saw. Yeah. Just one, this woman's wig was crooked and, and I was like, why is your part? Oh, you know, it's like, it was just embarrassing. It was embarrassing for them. Uh, but then I would get in trouble. I would get in trouble. So what did trouble look like? Um, I just, uh, I think did you get snatched? I get a little pop in the house. Go get a switch. Uh-huh. Go get a switch. Yeah. Did you behave in school? Yes. Oh, I had to. Yeah. Yeah. You don't mess up at school. Yeah. No, no, no. And both of your, your folks were military, or just my dad, just your dad and my dad's an army. Yeah. What's he like that military dad? Or no, you know what? It was cool because he, and he didn't want us to live on, on base either. We lived off base. And it's also to give him a break, too. Yeah. Yeah. So he would come home and take the uniform off and just speak, you know, dad, you know, he was, I mean, the black man. So there was rules. Yeah. Yeah. Just, just, yeah. Well, I was noticing now both of your parents went to college. No, my dad did. Your dad did. Okay. Yeah. And, and, uh, and, but your mom worked. Yes. Yeah. So we got a bank. Yeah. Was she start off working on newspaper? Okay. The Virginia pilot. I think she was doing ad sales. Were they any, either of them naturally funny or yes. Yeah. Both my parents are funny. Yeah. Very funny. Um, yeah. My, they were really good, um, uh, mimics, you know, like if they, they, they would tell a story or whatever somebody in church, they were going to character. And, uh, yeah, they were really good at that. Yeah. So I mean, maybe that's where I, you know, picked some of, picked some of it up from. Yeah. Cause they, they would do that. And this, the, the, did you write as a kid? I did. I did. Um, I remember it was like a, a smokey to bear contest or whatever. And you had to write a story. And then I did, I won a prize. I think I was like, first grade or something. Oh, okay. Yeah. And I remember that. I'm like, figuring it out. I'm putting it together. It starts out like, I don't know why we're funny. I don't know how I got here. And it's like, we'll find out. Oh, I won 12 competitions when I was, you know, like, yeah. I think that was really great. And my whole household was funny. Everybody was, uh, cracking me up. He was cracking it was my uncle Richard prior. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, a company committed to helping people move forward and live fully. So Mish, you've lived in so many places. At what point living somewhere new? Do you think it really starts to feel like home? Hmm. I think it's, for me, it's when routines are in place. Um, kids are settled although our kids are grown out. But when we were moving, they were little, you know, when they felt settled in a new school and they started making friends and life started to feel more routine. That's when it starts to feel like home. Well, you know, I don't really feel settled somewhere until I've tried every single local sandwich shop and know exactly which one is my new favorite. When you move to your new place, whether it was in New Jersey or DC, was there anything that you immediately did to make you feel settled or comfortable? Well, I think it's, you know, getting, it was getting our items in place. You know, I mean, I'm a traveler who likes to unpack completely. Yeah. Like I don't feel settled in not just in home or in vacation until every item is unpacked and put in drawers so that it feels like, you know, I'm not living out of suitcase cases. And the same is true when we were moving as a family, you know, when you're living out of boxes, when you don't, you know, feel like you know how to access and get to your stuff right away. You feel like you're visiting. So once we, you know, get everything settled in, that's when I started to breathe a sigh of, ah, we're here. Now going through the home buying process with no experience can be quite daunting, but progressive is here to help make it all a bit more approachable. As part of their open the house initiative, progressive offers practical tools, educational resources and guidance through their website to help people navigate the home buying process with more confidence. What's more, progressive is also offering up to $13,500 each in down payment assistance to at least 200 eligible first time home buyers. This program called the up payment could be a game changer for home buyers who need a little extra boost to help close that last gap. Want to learn more about the up payment program and progressives commitment to first time home buyers? Visit progressive dot com slash open the house where home buyers can discover more about housing challenges and access resources and support to empower them in their housing journey. So was there a lot of discipline, you know, or were your parents like the kind of parents that, wow, when company wasn't around and you weren't embarrassing them where they were, were they interested, I mean, were they encouraging of your voice and, you know, no, no, I remember my mother, I was outside playing with some friends and she yelled out the wonder, wonder, I said, yes, ma'am, fix your voice. I'm like, what is that mean? You're always a racial voice. You could speak in a little higher, you know, racial voice. What is going on? What is that? What is she talking about? Fix your voice. She wanted me to fix my voice. And now I get paid for having this voice. Yes. That's a good voice. It's very distinctive. Very. Thank goodness you didn't listen. Right. What other stuff did they want you to do that you ignored? Oh, boy, probably not be gay, probably not. Say, let's start there. But you try, I try, you try, you put the old, the old comments. I didn't. You've got a whole husband. A whole husband. I did. And then you said, nah, it's working for you. It's not working for me. When did you start being aware of yourself? And I'm not talking just talking about your sexuality, but aware of your uniqueness as a person. I think when I was at, when I was working at NSA, and so, you know, it's like, okay, I got my degree. I got, you know, good government job security. [BLANK_AUDIO] just felt out of place. I was like, this is not what I'm supposed to be doing for the next 20 years, 20, 25 years. But I, yeah, I just was like just searching like, what is it that I'm supposed to do? And I remember like in like high school yearbook and all everyone wrote how, you know, you're so funny and you should, you know, you need to be on stage and in college, you know, same thing. And I was like, asking my sororities. I was like, y'all think I'm funny. It's like, oh, girl, you, you would crack us up on a time. I was like, well, all right, maybe I, you know, did you ever do theater or, or any kind of stand up, or you were just the friend that was funny? I was the friend that was funny. I did do some theater in, see here, high school, you bought to remember something again in high school. But what did I do? I played the drums in one of the plays. Really? Yeah. And I didn't really have many lines, but I, I played drums in bands. So, but I love theater and love hanging around, you know, that group. But what did you major in in marketing, marketing? So when you were at the NSA and you were like, I'm not doing this for 20 years, what was the step you took? Or did you stay there a little longer? It said, let me, let me try this out while I'm working there. Did you go cold turkey? No, I stayed there until I was able to at least save up a nice little, you know, lump sum and then was able to play in clubs and like be the MC or the middle act of future, right? And do that enough where I felt like I could, you know, so you did that while you were still at the NSA. So what did you look up comedy clubs and just go to one? I knew that was coming. I knew that was good. Well, why I got the yellow pages out. That's what I'm see, see, see, okay, no, no, that is not what I was. So what happened? How did you get there? I have heard about a contest on the radio station and comedy comedy was one of the talent, you know, category. So I wrote some jokes. I just said at my little desk and wrote some jokes and went down audition. The guy was like, yeah, you're on the show. And I first time being on stage, no idea what I was doing, but I told my little jokes. People laughed and I was like, this is cool. And the MC Andy Evans, he was, you know, the popular guy in DC. And he's like, who are you and where'd you come from? Like, I've never seen you in the clubs. I was like, I'm working for the club. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So he and he showed me around a comedy club or how were you when you went to this first did this first contest? Let me see, that was in, that was in 87. So that would, that would me, I was what, like, 20, was that 24, 20 close enough? I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Okay. Okay, hey, early 20. Thank God. And you just free handed wrote those jokes without like looking up joke writing. You're just like, this, this, this is a funny story. I watched a lot of comedy, you know, I watched a lot of comedy growing up and loved, you know, of course, you know, prior and all that, yeah, George Carlin. And like, my favorite as a kid was mom's maplies. Yeah, you played those, those records. I used to walk around and, and I do like, yeah, my mom told me really as a kid. Yeah, as a kid. Because my grandmother made my grandmother the last. I would always. Yes, I would, you have teeth or not when you don't help. Yeah. Okay. See, we did, we had to go to our grandfather's house to hear moms, maybe because she cursed. Yeah. And my parents, we didn't, we didn't have any moms, maybe the records, maybe we had richer prior. We had, but that was when we were older. He was person. Yeah. So, all right. So you're at the comedy club. So you're doing this while you're still working. Do you remember your first bit? What, what you talked about? I know I'm asking about memory. Yeah, I know. Really. Same. Take my, take my ginkgo to date. No, I remember one, one bit. It was about the, you know, the, the, the auto-shade, the big cardboard sunglasses. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, there's instructions on the side of, you know, on a, and I was like, who needs these instructions? You know, like, it tells you to remove the auto-shade before driving. I'm like, you shouldn't be driving. Right. You need instructions. You know, like, you're going down the beltway. You see this car coming towards you with things like, he didn't read the instructions. So it was observations. Yes. Stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't until, man, like, probably, like, I guess the, I guess the, I'ma be me special. So that was like 2008 or whatever. A little bit for that, I think, is when I started to get like, really personal, you know, and talk about, talk about myself. Yeah. Yeah. So after you won the contest, did life blow up? I didn't win. You didn't win. I didn't win. I just made that up. I didn't win. But close second. I didn't win. Yeah. I just started, you know, Andy took me around DC and visit the comedy clubs. And I was like, okay, this is, this is what I, I want to do. And then I, then I just bombed it's like just ridiculous bomb. Because I, now I'm exposed to it. And I see how it could go horribly wrong. Right. So you lose. So now, you know, you get nervous and I was just full of confidence at first, because I didn't know any better. So now that I was like, oh, oh, God, this is awful. Yeah. I would just go up and just bomb. So when do you get used to that process? Right? Because that, that is a button, but it has to be, right? Because you don't know whether something is funny until you test it out, right? And it could be the order of what you said. And then you realize, oh, I left that part out. But so you, you have to get used to right bombing. Yes. You do. And oh, it sucks. It really does. I mean, you lose sleep. You know, your food don't taste right. Just the sky is not as blue. It's, it's horrible. And you don't get over until you have, you know, a good show. But I mean, but now it's not as intense when a joke doesn't go well because I have so many jokes that I know work. So or, you know, you can laugh your way out of it. Or, um, yeah. So I'm okay with it. Yeah. And then you're just so good now. Just like, yeah, I was like, nah, I just don't bomb. I just don't. I just try not to happen. Yeah. Not a whole show. Yeah. What was your first big break, you know, when you felt like, ah, now I'm gonna quit my job. You went in and threw down your pink slip. I, well, actually, I quit. I didn't even quit. I asked, uh, I went to the department head and asked for a leave of absence because I want to hold up to my health insurance. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So and he was like, you know what, I'm going to give you a year. Go do it. And, you know, if it works out great, if not, come, you know, we want you back here. Perfect. Um, yeah. So I just started touring and, and, you know, hitting the clubs, um, and it made, it all made sense. And uh, I got the Chris Rock show. I was a writer on it on, uh, Chris Rock show. That was the first major thing. Yeah. I think that was the, that was the real big break for me. Mm hmm. So how did that happen? Did he see you somewhere? Yeah. I open for him at carolizing. And this is when he was preparing for, uh, bring the pain. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, Hey, funny. I, you know, I'm, I'm gonna remember you. Yeah. Okay. So when he got his talk show on HBO, I got a call and said, Hey, Chris Rock wants you to submit some writing materials. I'm like, sure. So I, you know, wrote some stuff, sent it in and got the job. How did it feel being in a room of writers going from you just, you know, sitting at your desk to now you're at a table full of peers? Well, luckily, a couple of them, I was already friends with because they stand up, uh, comics. Mm hmm. So they were, yeah, I was the only woman too. The only female, yeah. So, um, it was nice to see guys who I, or, you know, had like a little camaraderie with, you know, they were good. So it was, uh, they, yeah, they were, they, they didn't cut me any slack, though, you know, it was, yeah, everybody, everybody write for themselves, you know. And for you, still doing stand up while you're like, for him, so you just keep writing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause and that, that was my favorite thing is I would, um, submit monologue jokes. And if they didn't make it into the, uh, into the monologue, he didn't, then select them. I was like, I don't think that's funny. Watch there. You know, and I'm going to the comedy seller and do the jokes and get last. I told you, they're like, who was she saying I told you to? Like, you know, like, it was like, I had a fit on stage. Like, I do a joke. Yeah, I told him. I told him. Like, -Ushita. -Ushita. And how did your comedy style evolve? I mean, did you feel your growth through all this process, what changed for you as a comic through these stages of growth? - Yeah, I think confidence, the confidence. And you just have to have that desire to do it. I did some comedians out here who are doing the same jokes they've been doing forever, because it's safe. I like the, you know, the edginess. I like to take some risk. So for me, you know, in my aging, you know, drives her nuts, but as soon as the special comes out, I'm like, well, I got to go make some more jokes. So she's like, well, you know, you can still, still tour with these, this act. I'm like, no, it's done. I'm done with it. - Really? - Yeah. - So after you do a special show like legacy, then you won't go around and you're going to start off from scratch. - From scratch, yeah. - Really? - Yeah. - Oh, see, I didn't realize that's how-- - Well, we should use your jokes. You're not going to use it. - Okay, man. - Joy. - Joy. - It's like, he's good, just over now. - It's just like, well, that was funny. It's not going to be funny in this thing. - No, it's not like singers, you know, same song, musician, they do same song over and over again. You still want to hear. - Yeah. - You know? - And at what point did you say, okay, I can act it. I'm going to be in these movies. - I didn't know I could. I didn't know that. Actually, it started on the Chris Frog show. We had a crew for a day and we were shooting some sketches. And then producer, we had a good line producer. She's like, look, you have three more hours with the crew. You guys have anything we can shoot. That's really quick. And maybe something in the office. And the guys, when they wrote something, video mama. And it's like, what are you going to be video mama? I was like, I'm all right. I'm not on camera. She's like, no, no, you can do it. You're going to be video mama. And it's a video tape that you can play and she watches your kids. So you just sit your kid in front of TV. So, you know what I'm saying? - I'm in there and I'm like, hey, put that down. Where you going? You know, it's like the video mama. - And you have it on the screen. - Yeah. - Yeah, video mama. - I wish you would. I wish you would, you know, see that's all that. - Yeah, so we shot that and got a big laugh. They just started writing me into more bits. - This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, a company committed to helping people move forward and live fully. You know, when you're thinking about buying a home, you're not just buying a house. You're buying a neighborhood, a commute, a school system, everything. And at the same time, you're thinking long term. What's this going to look like in a few years from now? Is this somewhere you can grow into? Is it going to work for your day-to-day life? And I think that's the part that can feel really overwhelming, trying to flash forward and imagine your life one, two, ten years from now. Progressive understands the hurdles first time home buyers are facing. From housing affordability issues to finding the right tools and knowledge, Progressive's Open the House initiative is committed to breaking down these barriers and making first time home buying a little easier. Since 2024, Progressive has committed more than $16 million toward this goal. As one example, this year they're expanding their up payment program, now in year two. By offering down payment assistance of up to $13,500 each to at least 200 eligible first time home buyers, want to learn more about the up payment program and Progressive's commitment to first time home buyers? Visit progressive.com/OpenTheHouse, where home buyers can discover more about housing challenges and access resources and support to empower them in their housing journey. So when did you get your first, were you doing that after Chris Rock? Were you just now writing and, you know, the work just comes after that? Did you find or were you still, you know, plotting a career? Were you, was your stand up getting bigger? Were you going to the bigger audience? Yes. Uh-huh. My stand up was getting bigger, my audience, um, yeah, I got a special Comedy Central Hour special. So first it was a half hour than they, then I got an hour. Then it was a big tour after that. And oh, and then I, uh, because of the Chris Rock show Eddie Murphy, you know, fan of Chris. Um, I got a part in, um, uh, Nutty Professor, yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah. You were good in that. I was, yeah, gloting to whatever. I got the hair to you. Yeah. Uh-huh. So, yeah, I love this, uh, the special legacy where, you know, I mean, yeah, how are you feeling about the political climate, I mean, you know, it's, uh, it's awful. It's awful. I mean, you know, all the clues of them redacted, you can't just can't get out, can't get out. But you need a Harriet Tubman to get us out, this is, this is, this is awful. It's like Prius. Yeah. Yeah. Um, um, like, it's, it's, it's bad as it is, right? Mm-hmm. There's, I think with us, there's a sense of, we're going to get through it. We're going, we're going to get through it, right? Yeah. Um, but it's like, well, why, why are we out protesting? Because my wife, you know, she's French, so she's like, you know, in France, they, they just shut, shit down. It's like, they just shut it down. That's it. And she's like, why aren't you doing that? Why, I don't understand why, why, why isn't people reacting responding like this? I'm like, because we go, you know, yeah, this is really bad. Oh, man, I says, you know, the poor people, oh, wow, they're killing people. Oh, okay, but my Netflix is on. You know, it's like, you know, it's like squirrel, exactly, exactly, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, we have too much stuff, basically, you know, when you have a lot and it's, oh, what they doing over there. That's bad, you know, but well, as bad as you think something will be, it's like the, the speed at which we forget about it is pretty amazing, yes, to me, you know, and we'll be outraged. Yes. Because in, in legacy, I mean, people really connect with the jokes, I mean, you're talking about immigration, you're talking about racism, I mean, so when people laugh about this stuff, there's a connection. I mean, you're, you're loosening a valve in, in people. So don't you get a sense that, you know, people like you said, people care, they do, people are affected. Absolutely. And, and that's what, that's the feedback that I get is they, they appreciate that I am speaking on these things because they need a release, they need that valve release, they do because of, because you feel like you're not doing anything or you're just under a rock. So when you bring these issues up and bring them to light and and allow them to laugh about it, then, you know, people, people really appreciate it, you know, and I hope it makes them think a little, you know, yeah, yeah, well, it's, but you're not just talking about, and I love the way you talk about the greed massed as a benevolence, you know, right? It's like, if you really want to be green, why don't you take some money off of our room exactly that, asking me to say to you my towel and get believe that, like, and hold it, you know, we're not changing your shoes now, right, what, we're not changing my sheets. That's the whole point, right? That's the whole best of it. You know, at a hotel, let's say it's a hotel, you know, you don't get up and change my sheets. That's wrong, y'all. I sleep at my dirty sheets at home. No, I want fresh sheets and towels, and towels, say I want a towel, I want them, but I just, I use all the towels, yeah, right boot, left boot, left towel, everything, use them all, use all that stuff. So you talk more about your family and legacy, and it, and you mentioned your wife, Alex, [BLANK_AUDIO] from France. How did you guys meet? - We met, I saw her on a fairy going over to Fire Island. Fire Island, people don't know all of the long Island New York. So, yeah, something I just saw on a peripheral and it's like, wow, okay. And I heard something that said, like, "Wonder that's what you need." And I was like, - Were you dating at the time? - Were you dating what you didn't admit it now? - But maybe dating. - Okay, but not in a relationship. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. - Don't get on, just need to say what you asked and about, you know? Because it was like, we're looking at what you needed, which sounded like you were getting a lot of what you didn't need, perhaps. - Well, the Pia. - My friend was like, "Where do you, "what you meeting all these crazy women from?" - Okay, see there? - Nope, because when you talk about, say you bring up, they pop up. I can walk out and hear something like, "Hey, man!" - I'm like, "Oh, geez." - Yeah, it's like candy man, you can't, don't, don't, uh-uh. - Nope, I'm not talking about that. - No, nope, nope, nope, nope. - But you had enough bad experiences to be like, "Hmm, that looks good." - Yeah, okay, I just, my, I had a therapist and she passed away, but we only spoke on the phone. She never, she didn't see people in, you know, face to face. - She didn't see any people. - I don't think so. - Oh, wow, I don't think so. Okay. - Maybe a couple, I don't, okay. - But, so she had passed, you know? And I heard her, that's what I heard. I said, "Wonder, that's what you need." And other people who were saying, who would, you know, said that she was popping up, little signs and stuff. Yeah, so anyway. And I, but I thought she meant that, 'cause Alex was sitting with this other woman and they were playing with a kid. So I was like, "Oh, maybe that's what she's saying." Like, "Eh, you know." And, long so short, the person I was dating, - Oh, so you weren't with somebody, you were dating. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're falling out. - Okay. - On the boat, after we were looking at Alex. - First I was making it to Ireland. Once I made it to Ireland, it a little falling out. It was like, "Yeah, you get her off to Ireland, you get her out of here." - She needed to go. - Just hit the go, hit the go. So I was like, "Call my friend, yeah, I get her out of here." - Oh, Lord. - So then, I'll walk with my friend. And she's like, "Wanda, will you meet me crazy people from?" You know, like, look, what do you say when you, you know, you meet somebody, I was like, "Hey, yeah, you don't." She's like, "Well, and if I say okay, so how's your date going?" And I started telling her what I did that day. She's like, "Well, no, I don't know what to hear what you did." Just say, you know, you're beautiful, and blah, blah, blah. It's corny. So, she's like, "And don't talk about your dog. Nobody cares about your dog." (laughing) So, that was your big round plan. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'm walking, welcome my friend, and we bump into a friend of she knows. And it's like, "Hey, Wanda, this is so-and-so. Wanda, this is a friend, Mary." And she's like, "How you doing, Wanda?" I was like, "Well, I got up at eight. I had some oatmeal, and here's my dog." You know, and she's looking at me like, "What?" And I was like, "And I'm remodeling my kitchen." And she's like, "Okay." She said, "Well, you should talk to my friend, Alex." She's into a natural stone and no man, boom. That's, she was on the ferry. So, we started talking, and from there, that was it. And it was- - That was it? - At first I was it. - Nice. And y'all got married and had kids. - Yes. - Was that always in your dance car? - Absolutely not. - No man. - Was Alex like, "Look, this is, you get me?" This is, "Okay." She's like, "Put down the gauntlet." - Yep, she's like, "I want kids. I'm gonna have kids." And I was like, "Okay." And I asked, I said, "Look, can we just, can you hold off?" Like, "Give me, give me at least like a year." And let's try to figure out, no, I didn't ask for ya. I said, "Can we hold off?" Like, it says, "Give me like three, six months. And let's see where this is going." - Yes. - 'Cause it's where you're gonna go. - This is, you know, where I think it's going. And I'll probably get there. I said, "But," and she said, "Okay." So she did. And how long did you guys date before you had kids? - She's maybe, I guess maybe a year. - Okay. - You say, "Yeah," meant September, yeah. - About a year and a half, I think. - So you're, you're world. You just went from zero to, - Everybody's, yeah. - Now, how did your dog react? - About two years, it was two years. It was six years ago. - How did your dog react? That's who you talk about that. - Yeah. - What's your dog's name? - His name was Riley. - Poor Riley. - Yeah. - Riley, when we brought the kids home, Riley looked, he looked up at me. And it was like he said, "You left up." He was like, "You left up." He's like, "We had it so good." - Yeah. - He's like, "How do you do this?" - This is gonna suck. You know that, right? You really messed up, you messed up. - So what was the adjustment period? So, you know, you got, you meet the right person, the love of your life. You date for a little bit, you decide, this is it. Now you're married with kids. Did it feel like your head was about to spin off the changes in your life that happened? You know, and how did you manage the adjustment? - It felt, it felt right. It was a lot, it was a lot, but it just felt like, okay, no, this is, this is how it's supposed to be. I felt like I was in my place. And I felt like blessed, really blessed like, I got kids now, you know, 'cause I never thought that I would be a mom. And now, you know, my whole last mom and then your last mom. - Yeah, man, man. - Discipline and everything, you know. How old are they now? They just turned 17. - 17, oh, so. - Oh, you in it. - Yeah. - You were really in it. - Yes. - Yeah. - Who's the disciplinarian? You or Alex? - I would say more on my part, you know. I mean, Alex is strong, she's strong with them too, but when they don't listen, she'll, would you tell them, okay, and then I get mad. Like, why do I have to tell y'all? Would just listen to her. Just listen to her, but why you don't want to do this, do you? - I like that. - You don't like me, you know, right? Okay, so just. - That's me and I also. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You make them feel like you're doing them a favor. - Right, that's, yeah. - I'm gonna hook you up on how to not get in trouble. - Right, right. - Or you're in trouble with me. - Yeah, I love that. - And you don't want to be in trouble with me. - It's just a great psychological advantage. - Yeah. - Like, your life is over. - Yeah. - You're in trouble with me. - Yeah. - Did you go through the spanking, no spanking thing? Oh, right, yeah, you could you talk about that in legacy, right? - Yeah. - We said no spanking, but then. - And then somebody needed to get locked. - Look at you. - Get, get, get. (laughing) - You needed it. (laughing) - Sometimes you need more than words. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, they're all different, you know? - Yeah. - I always thought, like, kids should know what a spanking is. - Right. - And some of them that they don't know, right? So, you know, and I had two girls and girls are pretty bright, you know? - Right. - One more pop and it's just like, oh, that wasn't pleasant. It wasn't pleasant for me. It was true. It hurt me as much as it hurt them, but it was like now, it was just a good, then it became just a good threat. - Right. - Don't make me. - Right. - And it's like, and they were like, yeah, probably. That's not necessary. But I do believe that every now and then. - Did you get a spanking ever? - Oh, yeah. I didn't get many. You, neither of us got many. - Neither of us got many. - Right. - But I don't remember you getting. - Yeah, the belt, the jump rope. - Jump rope. - Oh, yeah. - Jump rope. - You know, the plastic jump rope with the handles. - Uh-huh. - She gave us that a couple of times. But I don't remember, I remember getting it. - Yeah, I remember you getting it too. I was usually cheering her on from the back, you know? Running after 'em. But I remember the last spanking you got. - The last spanking I ever got. - And this was our household. My mother loved laugh. And she had a great sense of humor. And we could make her laugh. And Craig had done something. You probably did something to me, right? And I was like, mom, you know? And she's like, boy, I told you when she grabbed the belt. And this time, he ran. - She don't chase me around the house. - And she's running behind him. And I'm behind her. I'm like, get 'em, get 'em. [BLANK_AUDIO] over furniture and our house is a little bitty house. I mean, I'm sure she's thinking, boy, if you don't stop running, you know, and then he hopped over a chair and got on the couch and grabbed my stuff snoopy and put it in front of him. It was like, mom, don't hit me. And she just looked at him and started cracking up, you know, because it was ridiculous. You know, it's like, here I am chasing this little boy around. And I was probably big by then because I was older. Right. Right. And she just took the jump rope and just like dropped it. And that was it. That was the last and I was like potential spanking. What? No, justice. Is this what we're doing? And that yeah, that was that that was the last one. Yeah. So yeah, you just have to, like you say, it's just the threat of it, you know, they know. I mean, I, um, I forgot my, I know my mom dropped me off my grandmother because that's where I was catching the bus. And I left my books in the car. So I was like, I can't go to school. I have new books. The teacher's going to be yelling at me and the kids are going to make fun of me. My grandma's okay. You can stay home and she say, well, you know, we got to tell your mom, you know, that you didn't go to school. So now I'm stressed over that, you know, yeah. I'm stressed over that. So I, I, I, I came up with me, my grandmother, the bill. I said, would you just beat me? It's totally, totally, totally, it's been done in fetish. I can't live like this all day. I was like, just tell you that, let me get this making and then I can do it in my day off. It's actually, it's actually, and she laughs so hard. She, she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. And she told my mother, don't you beat that girl? She always beat herself up to enough today. I swear to God, Juan, after, because my, my team watched legacy too. And this one, Crystal, on the gas pass, she's like, ma'am, tell me that that doesn't happen. I mean, literally, we're on the plane. I'm like, it's fine or no, it does. It does. It's coming. Can you talk about what you're talking about? Oh, yeah. I hit my 60s and I don't know where all this gas comes from, but it's just a lot of gas, a lot of gas. And, and you really have to focus on not passing gas because if you relax, it's, it's going to happen. It just, it just happens. And I was a, talked to one of my good friends and she's a, you know, CEO, big job. And she's like, girl, I was on a meeting and, and I stood up and it just, I just, and they all heard it. I was like, oh, my God. So what did you do? She's, I just said, meetings adjourned. See, because when you're in your 60s, you run the meeting, right? By that time, you can pass gas in the meeting that you run in. Right. Right. I told her, that's how you have to end all your meetings now, you know? I don't know. I just, how it's going to go. And how's Esther roll doing? Oh, Esther, you're looking pretty good. Well, I mean, she looks like she's living somewhere else. No, Esther's here. If I, yeah, I lived this, this top of you, Esther is there. She, she is there. Actually, when I was, I'm editing, when I was editing, uh, legacy, I was like, oh, boy. And, uh, by producer part, she was like, you see Esther. Don't try. I was like, yeah, look at Esther. Esther is just living her best life. Esther's just all out. She's like, you know, when you could have worn like a body shaper on the side, I was like, no, I can't, I can't, how can you do what you're doing with all that? Yeah, I'm rolling around the stage. And I was like, no, I had to crack the rib if I didn't want a body shaper. But, um, so yeah, I just let Esther out. Um, you let her live. I let her live. Yeah, but I hit my 40s. Esther popped up that fat roll, that fat roll. I was like, what is this? And I was doing crunches. And she was, she was determined, Esther was determined. Esther was climbing out of spanks. I was, I was on this night show. Jay Leno, on this night show. And I had been, I just heard Esther was just working her way out of spanks. Then just laid out. Hey Jay. I was like, like, no, no, I just, I named Esther. I love late night. Oh, I love late night. She's, you know. So I pulled the Costco. That's just like, Yippee. Oh boy. This is like Disneyland for her. She loves, she loves Costco. Esther loves Costco. Oh boy. There's so many. She loves Costco. And now she's saying that says, you know, been a little depressed. Cause whenever those like, those zipping commercials come, I hear her just, my Esther was broke. She's like, oh, my friends are gone. I was like, I was like, yeah. Oh, um, I wouldn't do that to her. Oh my goodness. I wouldn't do it. I said, I'm not going to do it to you. Don't worry about it. Well, what about you do look great? Oh, I think you look great. So you got to be doing something besides taking Esther to Costco. I'm boxing now. I love the box. Yeah. I love the box. Yeah. That's my, that's a lot of my training. How often are you in the, in, uh, yeah, like, um, I mean, if I'm not working, if I'm home, I, uh, I try to at least like five times, you know, five days a week. Oh, man. Yeah. Uh, I have a great trainer, Cameron, and he'll, he'll hold the mitts. Yeah. So I, uh, I hit the mitts, uh, and we'll, you know, do some strength training training. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I felt fell in love with it because I had, uh, I did a movie, a drama, and it's boxing. Yeah. So I had to learn how to hold mitts. Yeah. And then I just stay with it. Yeah. When did you do the, when did you, um, film this is undercut, undercard, undercard, I'm sorry, undercard, um, we filmed this in Puerto Rico, uh, two years ago. I think so. I think it was two years ago. When that's your first dramatic role, first dramatic role. Yeah. And man, it was hot in Puerto Rico. That was a different kind of heat, different kind of, but it was, yeah, I, I love, uh, shooting it, love the cast, the director, Tameka, everybody. It was just a great experience. So I'm excited that that's finally going to be out where people are going to, uh, get to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it going to start streaming? Um, it'll be available for rent or, or to buy, um, May 18th. Oh, yeah. Like Apple or, uh, yeah. It's a, it's a beautiful story. You want to just talk a bit about it. Um, um, uh, undercard. So, um, I play a former boxer, uh, now trainer struggling with, uh, addiction. Um, she's raising her, uh, her, her sister's, uh, child, her sister passed away. And, uh, she also is trying to reunite with her, uh, older son, who's a, who's a boxer. And she had to give him up when he was, uh, very young because of her, her, her addictions. And, uh, yeah. So it's, it's just this woman trying to, you know, win in the ring. And now, you know, win in life and try to, uh, reunite with, with her family. And it's really, it's, it's a family story, but it's just set in the world of boxing. Um, I would have never known that that was your exposure to boxing, that film. You didn't box before that. Right. You look like a, you look like a former champ. Oh, why didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Had your guns out and everything. True. But it's a really beautiful, um, um, movie. And I watched it and I didn't fall asleep. Oh, oh, I thank you. It stayed up. Oh, I thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is saying something, man. Yeah. No, but it's a really beautiful, beautiful film. Is there anything at this point that you haven't done that you wish you could do? Actually, I did tell my, uh, publicist that I wanted to do this. You really? We were on your bucket list. I really asked her for things. Oh my god. What I was like, I want, I want to do, yeah. Oh, because you felt bad by talking about me. I was like, I did that. That's, yeah, man. Wonderful. Thank you. Well, well, you have definitely worked out. Uh, this, this special. It is, it is everything. It is laugh out loud. Um, and not too, too dirty. You're not person that much. No. You know, so you can have the older kids watch it. But, you know, I just thank you for, you know, all that you do. But we're, we do have our listener. question. Yes. We because we do give advice here. Okay. And I, of course, we try to give back to the people who were listening. And now they got, they got Wanda. Okay. Wanda. And this is Joanna. My husband and I are thinking about buying a home and we're trying to decide what matters most as we start a family. We have a three and a five year old. We love the idea of being in a neighborhood with a strong sense of community. It reminds me of my own childhood where neighbors looks out for each other. And it felt safe for kids to grow up. At the same time, we know that school quality is really important. And we're weighing whether it makes more sense to prioritize that from the start, even if it means living somewhere we feel less connected to. My husband feels like we should choose a neighborhood we love and figure out the logistics later, whether that's commuting or finding other options. But I personally worry that the day-to-day reality of that would become exhausting, especially if more of the responsibility falls on me. My question is, how do you decide between a place that feels like home right away and one that might offer better long-term opportunities for your kids? As a fellow Chicagoan, I know the commute you had to Whitney Young, my own mother, moved us to the suburbs so a decent high school would be closer to our home. Appreciate your advice. If it's job-related, then you sort of have to do what you got to do. And that's not new. I mean, I think parents, families throughout the history, you go where mom and dad can earn a living. And that's certainly true if you're a military kid. And you remember how resilient kids can be. So sometimes you just don't have a choice. But I've been talking more about because what we do lose in that job move is that a lot of families, they don't have support. Right? So you move for a job. Now it's you and your partner and the kids, but you don't live in that extended family unit, which is how we grew up, you know? I mean, we grew up on the South Side of Chicago where everybody lived within like a five mile radius. I mean, literally, you know, uncles, aunties, all of our grandparents. You could walk around the corner. You could get in a car, drive five minutes and be at another family's house, which meant that there was always some support, you know, especially when it came to childcare, right? So now you, you know, if you've got some aunt, a cousin, a grandparent, somebody who can step in, you know, and help out. So I think that's a long way of saying, if you have a choice, factor in community and support. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I care as much about the house or the school. If it's not a horrible school district, you know, I mean, if it's not dangerous, which is in some instances, you know, I went across town because the high school right by me was a little, you know, it was a little dangerous at the time I was going there, right? So to me, it was worth going across town to a school that was a college prep school, but we still lived in our neighborhood, you know, we still lived around the corner from grandparents and uncles and aunts. And that meant something, you know? Yeah, I agree with that. But it didn't seem like they have like a extended family. Yeah, they didn't even come up. But yeah, I agree that if you find a community where you feel comfortable and you can build those relationships, like we were very lucky. I wear Alex was living in this community when I met her. So, you know, there was the the cop next door and then, you know, started meeting this group of friends and there was there's a little she has this little French contingency there. So we were surrounded by people who became family for us. So as the kids get older, their kids were getting older and we would, you know, look out for each other. So that is important. And a good school district, you want that because you know, especially you don't want to have to pay for school. If you're not happy with the you're with the public school. But for me, I need to be close to an airport. Yeah, you know, it's just like your business. I consider also how quickly can I get in and out? Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I will say don't underestimate the resilience of your kids because I my career after I left corporate America and started coaching, coaches move all the time and we moved a lot. And the first move was really hard on my two older kids because they were about, well, the oldest was about to go into high school and he wanted to go to Whitney Young where she went and we moved to Providence and it was hard on him and hard on our daughter. But then once we move the first time, it made it easier to move the next time and then the next time and it became easier. And what we stayed focused on was trying to move somewhere where we could build a community. But we were our community. We wanted to make sure we knew we would all be together in this and we had the ability to make a community wherever we went. So don't, I would say to Joanna, don't underestimate the resiliency. I know you're not talking about moving around a lot, but you know, your kids will be okay as long as they're safe. They'll be okay. They'll be able to bounce back quicker than we can. And just make sure you check that predator website too. Don't just throw that out there. That's a good point. That's a good point. Amanda, just make sure there's no predators. Well, thank you. Hopefully, that was Lisa. Joanna, Joanna, I'm sorry. That's okay. Joanna, a girl. That also happens when you get older, Crystal. Right. His gas and then there's general forgetting of everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. Wanda, thank you so much. Thank you for this. Thank you for putting us on your dance car. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Love you. I'm done now. We are huge fans. We are big fans. We are big fans. Well, the legacy is going to be well-received. People will love it. And by the time this comes out, hopefully everybody's seeing it and commenting about it and all of that. And then watch Undercard. It's really a beautiful film. Thank you. Coming out on somewhere where things stream or anywhere where you stream. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Thanks again to our friends at Progressive Insurance for sponsoring this episode. 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