Energetic Deep Dive: Microaggressions, Home Frequency, Clearing Energy, and Shifting Energy Patterns

(soft music) - Welcome to the Moon Beaming Podcast. I'm Sarah Faith Goddestiner, an artist, author, and intuitive. And together we'll explore life through a creative and spiritual lens. You'll learn so much about mysticism, creativity, consciousness, depth psychology, business, and more. And you'll get to listen to conversations with luminaries that you won't hear anywhere else. With each episode, you'll receive insights, frameworks, inspiration and tools to help you thrive and grow. Hello and welcome back to Moon Beaming. I am so happy that you're here. Moon Beaming is a podcast where we talk about life through a creative and intuitive lens. It is where the spiritual becomes practical. I have a gift for taking more esoteric concepts and bringing it into IRL, real life. And this episode is especially, especially aimed to help you take more esoteric practices, ideas and concepts into your everyday life. That is because on today's episode, we have a continuation of our many, many, many, many, many, many, many boundaries series. Last week I talked about intrinsic boundaries, a concept that is pretty integral to living a non-burned out life. And this week, we go into the anatomy of energetic boundaries with a guest. On the show today, we have an anonymous guest, A. A has taken a bunch of my classes and my workshops. And A kept contacting me, letting me know that they had questions, more questions about boundaries. And finally, I just said, hey, let's do an interview. You can ask me whatever you want about boundaries. And it happened to be primarily all about energetic boundaries which I was stoked about because I'm a geek, I'm an nerd with those kinds of things because energetic boundaries and the way we run our energy and the interchange between our beliefs, our subconscious, and what our energy does is all related. And I'm not going to say that they're as important as what we think of as boundaries, which are the behaviors we do to keep our values our needs and our well-being intact. It's not like a competition, but I will say, for many, the missing link is energetic. Like if you're doing all the things and you're not sure why you're exhausted, it's often not always, but it's often how you're running your energy. So we get into all of that with this episode. There are so many useful questions asked and hopefully my answers are useful as well. So by the end of this episode, you will have gotten a little window into what it's like to learn with me, as well as many. Like there are so many suggestions, so many techniques, so many things for you to try in your world, in your life. And also there are so many questions you can ask yourself. That will give you a better sense of how you're running your energy and what your energetic boundaries might currently be. And you'll also probably have some ideas of what you want your energetic boundaries to consist of. So stay tuned for a very practical and spiritual episode. I am so excited to have a wonderful guest on the show who shall remain anonymous. Today on the show, I am welcoming A. A. How are you? I'm doing okay. Thanks. How are you? I'm great. I'm also really excited because you are going to ask me questions. I have no idea what you're going to ask me. I just know it's going to be around the topics of some of the courses I teach. And so I guess we can get started with some of your burning boundary questions. You want to get started there? Yeah, I love the boundary class that you offered. Thank you so much for offering that. I think what I'm struggling with is like I can do the clearing and the energetic boundary setting and experiment with different boundaries. But I still get really drained by other people and situations. And so I guess I'm just wanting more understanding of how that happens. It helps me to understand what is exactly is happening so that I can try to stop it or alter it. I love this question so much. And to just give a little context, the boundaries course was sort of like every single boundary that exists. So we spent a class exploring energetic boundaries. I'm just letting listeners know so they kind of can jump right in with us. And so what we're doing with that is we're really noticing our energy on the micro level. We're noticing, oh, I feel really great when I'm alone or when I'm in this context or I feel really grounded during certain times of the day or I feel really off center after doing something. So it's about getting to know like what your energy is doing and where your energy is going. And I'm really curious for you a there's so many reasons why we get drained. Let's push aside lack of sleep or lack of nutritious food or lack of like barring. You have your water, you have your sleep, you're taking care of yourself. There isn't a ton of stress going on in your life. That's another huge one. Obviously what our energy can do is a couple of things. Do you feel like there are aspects of your energetic body that are more sensitive to other people's energy? Yeah. Like do you feel like your heart might be open for a lot of people? It's that third energy center. It's that solar plexus because that's our power center. So we sometimes need extra care and extra awareness to make sure that we're not opening up our energy center to other people to plug in. Or we're not overly extending our energy. So like for me as a recovering codependent overextender, I'll notice. And we do this like sometimes inside of the patreon and workshops and things. I'll notice that my energy will want to come more out of my body. And it'll want to kind of start to either read the other person, you know, like catch a read on their energy by maybe entering their energetic space. Or there could be an energetic people pleasing kind of thing happening where, and I've talked about this in a lot of my classes, where those of us who were very sensitive or the middle child or the peacekeeper or got triangulated. We talked about that, like, parentified children. Often we will, in like early, early childhood, like pre-conscious, we will enter into a contract in the family system that were the emotional processor. And it's our role to take on people's anger or bad feelings or, you know, really anything like we're the kind of burden carrier and we, because we can feel those energies, we can we have this idea that we can process them. And sometimes we take that program for lack of a better word into situations where there are some kind of concern that we have to be hyper vigilant. Am I making sense to you with like trying to connect the dots with like certain energetic patterns we have and how that kind of plays out in our every day? Yeah, I think so. I think what you said about reading others or reading the room or reading the energy in the room. I think yeah, that I probably just have a habit of doing that all the time. And that's not, you said before that's not consensual. Other people aren't consenting to have their energy read. But somewhere along the line, I learned that and it's really hard to unlearn. It probably has to do with like people pleasing and yeah, like with my loved ones in my family, like if they have a problem, I do always like want to try to feel like it's my responsibility to help them solve it. And as many ways as I can. Yeah. And so what I like, let's slow this down. Like let's get really, really micro to the back to the energetic level. What are some places in your body that you feel the drain? Is it like all over your body or is it like, are you like, oh, my tummy feels sore or do you feel it? Do you get some people get headaches? Like, like, are you just like, man, I'm bushed? Like, that was really a lot. Is it more like that feeling? Yes. Like all over drained, no energy, no bandwidth type of thing. It's not, I can't pinpoint like heart or, you know, head or anything. But I could tune into that and see if it does. I can like, I can try to do that. But as of right now, my instinct is just like totally drained. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I'm also wondering if, so there's like so much, there's so much that could be going on, right? Like, do some diet, should we do some diagnostics? So the first thing I'm also wondering is when you said, this is what stuck out to me, when you said you feel like you have to solve people's problems for them. Energetically what happens? Like just take a moment, think about like we can even cosplay. I'm a friend and I'm like, hey, hey. Do you have a minute, do you have a minute to talk about something with me that I'm going through? What's what? So what starts to happen in your literal energetic field? What does your energy start to do? I start to get excited because I love that person. You know, I care about them. And I want to interact. And then how like there's no wrong answer. There's only like, we're just experimenting. But does your energy want to do? Does it want to go into their space? Does it want to give them a hug? Energetically? Does it want to take their concern away? Does it want to fluff their energy? Does it do you want to give some of your energy away to support them? Think about what your energy is doing. Okay, I think it's like I'm reading them. I'm like, how are you? If they say I'm fine, I'm like, okay, well, I can tell there's really something wrong or like, you know, like that type of a thing. I think I am trying to just get at the heart of like what they're like feeling or their emotions or just like where they are in that moment. What is happening to your energy though? Like, I like very literally like, is your energy all still in your body? No. Okay, what, where's your energy? It's like attention to them. Like, it's like out of your body. It's like forward facing. You're like, maybe it's heightened, maybe it, maybe you're even feeling like you have to grow your energy field to like match whatever is happening like in some way, right? So, okay, immediately we've got one part of this riddle solved. Your energy is leaving your body. You don't have access to all your energy and probably energetic hygiene wise. After you hang out with them or after you and the text message session or after you end the phone call, I'm going to guess most of the time or some of the time you're not calling your energy back and you're not re grounding. Part of you might be still thinking about their issue or thinking about them or making sure they're okay. Do you have a kind of like mini cord cutting or clearing or sweeping or calling your energy back? Like, practice once you've interacted with someone in a more intense way. Okay. You do. No, no, no, I don't. Like, so my practice right now is that I started, I started my day with like a meditation that's at least five minutes and I try to do three things that I'm grateful with for. And then at the end of the day, I do three things that I'm grateful for. And then like I have sporadically tried to put the protection on my energy throughout the day, but it's not a regular thing. So I think what I'm picking up is that I need to, I can try like after I interact with someone tuning in and then like returning the energy that is not mine and calling my energy back. Absolutely. And like wondering, and these are all just questions. There's again, there's no wrong answer. And also there's only like right answers or what makes sense for you now answers. And this is also for you to like think about like just some other things for you to think about and maybe answer journal about on your own. But when I talk about program, I just mean like something we've been conditioned with, like so for me, one of the programs I came in with, who knows who put it in me, but I believed it. And I'm trying like have to actively work to not believe it is that I'm only worth something if I'm useful to someone else or if I'm not a burden, right? Like if I'm, you know, if I'm very helpful, I'm not, I have worth. If I'm not a burden, like if I like make someone stay better or I'm not a grumpy poo or I'm not going through anything, then I'm worth something. But you know, if I, if I'm, so that's like something I'm working on, what that does is energetically, I'm trying to like set this math equation up, this non math math equation. You know, what this does is it's constantly creating this pattern between my subconscious and my energy that is set up for being drained. I'm not saying that this is what's going on now. I'm saying this is something I've had to work on, especially with my clients, right? Like because I, because I love my clients and I really want to help my clients on a, from a very like deep spiritual level, what that will cause me to do is it'll cause me to jump, have my energy jump out of my body. It will cause me to have my energy given away to another person and not just like a little bit, not just like a spoonful of my energy, but a lot of my energy. And it's a really old program. And when we're talking about these programs and these patterns, there's no shame, there's no blame. We're also talking about ancestral stuff for a lot of us. It's like, what did the maternal line of our family do? You know, energetically, what did they believe? What do we think they believed? And then of course, as you know, we're too proud feminist here talking. It's society, you know, like feminine socialized folks. We are kind of raised. to couple our worth with what we can do for other people specifically, and this is going to wrinkle someone listening I know and they're going to take it maybe not in the way I intend it, specifically unpaid labor, specifically energetic labor, emotional labor, labor that's off the clock, labor that's not always noticed, labor that's not always thanked or appreciated, right? And it gets a little bit tricky when we love to give, like when it's hard to parse out, like it makes me so happy seeing other people happy. It makes me so happy, like knowing I've like really helped someone, like truly, it's like service, like right? And I know you're the same because you're nodding. And also, where are the ones who have to learn how to be more skillful with our energy moment to moment? And even when you're with a friend, you can do little things moment to moment with your energy to make sure that you're keeping your energy in your body, in your bubble. So there are things like if you're in a chair or sitting on a couch, you sit, you go all the way back, you lean all the way back, and you just let your energy settle, leaning all the way back, right? You're not like oh, there you go, you're not like overextended, you're not moving forward, you know, you're not like moving towards them, you're like calling that energy back. You can do little things in the moment, like crossing your hands, or if you know you have a certain part of your area, like your hips or your belly, that is more energetically sensitive, you can like put your hands over that and like cross and uncross that. You can also ask, because you knew immediately, you can ask yourself, like say, you know, your friend is telling you something that they're dealing with, they're dealing with, you know, something annoying at work or whatever. Before you respond, you can ask yourself, is all my energy in my body? The next level of that, and this is like boundaries for, like this is like at a level that it's highly advanced, but you also mentioned, and I think this is really important and I want to say this because I think it's important for people to practice. It's this non-consensual part and so I'm going to assume, you know, that you're psychic, right, that you can pick up on energy. Well, you said, it's like when someone says, when you ask someone how they are and they say I'm fine, that you feel like you know they're not fine, right? So that could be you being psychic. Some people call it empath, right? Whatever, I don't love that word. Is it a queer thing? What is a queer thing? Like, because I feel like queer people specifically, maybe more lesbian, maybe are like really good at that. I don't know if that's true or not. At picking up on people's energy? Reading people, reading people's energy. It could be a queer thing, it could be a lesbian thing because we just want to go right in and process, right? No, tell me how you really are. Yeah, like my girlfriend can like always tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so here's here's the boundary part of it. The non like here's the like consensual part. Someone's telling you that they're fine. Someone's not telling you I'm having a really bad day, like, you know, my pet had to get rushed to the vet two days ago and I'm really upset. Now, should we get into the nuance? Yeah. If it's just someone being like, hey, I'm fine and you feel like you know they're not fine and you go to hang out with them, we have like a flow chart of what we can do. Then this is where the nuance comes in. Is picking up on their whatever energies that are happening that might not be congruent with what they're saying? Is you going a little deeper or you may be trying to like read them a little bit more? Is that to make you feel more comfortable or less uncomfortable? Why does it matter to you that they're saying they're fine but they're like shoulders are slump forward and they're like head is drooping down like why does that why does that matter to you? Yeah, I think it does have to do with the people pleasing thing like and also I do prefer interacting on a real level. Yeah, like what you said about I'm only worth something if I'm useful to someone else that really resonates. Like not just as a woman but also like as a fat person because I feel like what's the word? I feel like a defective woman because I'm fat and if I can be helpful, if I can be nice, then I can prove my worth. I'm just sitting with that. I'm sitting with all the nuance that's there now and I'm glad you're sharing because I think this is something that so many people can relate to and what so there's a couple of other deeper things that I want to bring up that I'm not saying it's you I'm not like reading you or anything but I just want to call this into the conversation. So I love what you said about why I just want to be real. So this is where the nuance comes in right where it's like well if you always have a friend that you feel that you feel like and that's the operative word feel because we don't really know like sometimes people could be like low energy and they and it comes off as their depressed or mad at you right like if someone doesn't like I don't smile a lot like I have to like I have to like you know but I have to smile more so I make people know I'm not mad at them you know I'm an Eastern European Jew from the East Coast like my people do not smile once I ask my Nana Nana why don't you smile more and she said smile why should I smile more you know like it's just like a different cultural thing right so that's been a whole thing like people been like oh you know Sarah doesn't like me and and they can't answer it's just they think I don't like them because I'm not like hi you know I'm just like hey how's it going because I'm like you know this is so anyway so there's that it could be a misread is number one it could be like this person's like or it could be like something really terrible happened they don't want to talk about it they don't want to bring it into the exchange and you're just picking up that maybe they had a fight with their girlfriend or their boss was being a jerk to them or they're afraid about some test result like we have like we truly don't know what people are going through and we truly don't know what's going like what exactly is going on and so we have to trust but if you have a friend and you feel like they aren't being honest with you just as like a trust thing right like I feel like you're not being yourself like that's one whole conversation but the reason why I'm going into this and the reason why I'm bringing this up to is that I think when I've done like energy cost playing things with people and workshops and things a lot of it is about not it's less about wanting to be helpful and more about not wanting to feel uncomfortable and it's like is it that we and that's where that line comes in where I talked about like how much of it is that we truly love giving and how much of it is that we are like coupling our worth or what our energy and then there's that energetic pattern that comes in our energy jumps out of our body we feel like we have to read them get too into their energy it's a small scale. skillful read is you can read people. You can, let me put this way, you can pick up on someone, whether it's their body language or you're getting an energetic read or something like that, without your energy leaving your body. - Wow, okay. - Without, you know, like with you sitting back in that chair, with, you know, like yeah, there we go, like sitting back, grounding into your hips, like connecting your feet to the floor, you can see that someone might be distraught or might feel, not be feeling great, without entangling your energy with theirs. But I think a lot of us unconsciously are running our energy in certain ways, where well, if we believe on a, even 10%, like even with all the work I've done, I have to catch myself all the time. Like I still go way over, I still like overgive, and I always have to catch myself because my programming is to give like 2000%, it's to put everyone first, and then I have no energy left for me. And that ends up reinforcing some belief, right? It like just creates this cycle. So there's all this nuance going on, but if someone's your friend, or if someone's just another human being, you don't have to, they will love you no matter what your energy is doing. They will probably, like they will love and appreciate you with all your energy in your energetic field, grounded, the other thing that will do subconsciously, this is, I think this might be the one, but we'll see, is well subconsciously, I use like subconsciously and unconsciously interchangeably. I kind of think I like subconscious more because we can locate it. Like unconscious is like we have no idea we're doing it, and I think you know, I think if you sit with what you're doing, A, and you like really start to notice what's happening inside of your body and with your energy field, I think you'll be able to start to notice, and I think you'll be able to start to like catch yourself. So the other thing that will do, that might be the reason for your drain, is well subconsciously, not quite knowing we're doing it at the moment, will match people's energy. So what that means is you're already having to shift, change, contort, distort your energy by what you think you have to do to interact with the person. It's like now, this is such a silly example. Once I had this really awful, like truly, and I mean truly awful boss, and he would always yell at me, like literally, you know, like he slammed doors and throw things at me, it was terrible. And I would always just not, like I wouldn't yell back. I would actually get quieter when people, like when people come at me, I like kind of, and one day he was like, why aren't you yelling back? Like this is like, you know, he's like, don't you care? But that's an example of someone wanting, someone to match energy. It's like someone does one thing, and they're kind of energetically expecting you to match their energy. And you might subconsciously be like, oh, this person's eye, like you don't even know, remember, you were not even sure that the person might isn't a bad mood. We don't even really know, they could just be exhausted. We have no idea. You could be thinking that they're mad at you, but they're really like burned out and fried. We have no idea, right? So you might subconsciously, your energy might be trying to match their energy, and anytime we're, like, matching someone's energy for a long period of time, it's gonna drain us because our energy isn't, and it's natural flow. It might be doing a mix of trying to like, meet them where they are and support them, meet them where they are and over give. Does that make sense? - Yeah, that makes sense. When you said that about your boss, it reminds me of like my dad, because he can be very controlling, control freak, and he likes to, I think he likes to argue. So he will argue and try to engage me, and then I will get mad. And like, I think he kind of like gets off on that dynamic, and it's like interesting to me, because I'm like, who likes to argue? Like, who likes to get other people elevated? Like, who likes that? You know, and so I have been trying to like, when I can see that he's trying to like push my buttons, and stuff like just disengage and match it with a different energy, or actually just leave the situation if I can. - I wanna give you a homework assignment, and like for the next week, I want you to notice if you feel compelled. So with your dad, that's super simple, because the energy is such a contrast, like your energy is so not that. So that's like a really big contrast. So sometimes it's easier to tell what your energy, when your energy starts to shift, but really notice like even in the little moments if you go into a store, and the shop person seems not friendly, or like notice what is happening? Notice, first of all, how far out is your energetic field? Is your energetic field six foot out? Have you extended your energetic field, your aura? So large that you're like picking up on energy from someone who's 20 feet away, the person who's across the street, the person who's driving past you in the car. Like really notice what your energy, like how far out your energy's going, and you can know that by if you say, are in the store and the cashier or shop person is 10 feet away from you, you can start to pick up on their energy, or you can start to feel like their energy is somehow in your energy, you know? And so that's usually a sign to pull your energy back. - Yeah, okay, so noticing how far out my energy field might be in a moment, like when I'm entering the store, or like with my clients, I talk to them mostly on the phone, and that's another area where I think I over give, and I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to be in the store, and I'm going to be in the store, and I need to lean back more, so it's really interesting that you're saying that. Notice what it feels like to lean all the way back, or even if you can, I don't know if you can with your job, but even if you can lay down while you're talking, and notice what it's like to serve your clients, this is actually what I do with my next psychic reading, or something. Notice what it feels like to serve your clients, from a supported, relaxed, grounded, all your energy is in your body, and maybe your aura is just like six inches around your body. Notice what that feels like, and so the other homework is noticing from the subtle and non-activating, let's just say like an exchange with the cashier at the grocery store, that's super neutral, like, "Oh, hey, I love that cheese," or whatever. And you're like, "Yeah, hey, notice what your energy is." Notice is, you can ask yourself, "Is my energy all the way in my body?" From the very like cordial, like little neutral moments, to the larger moments, like, "God is forbid, I hope your parent doesn't cause any harm." you yelling or something, you know. But if so, right? Or like, it went, you know, just if things are a little bit more tense somewhere, notice what your energy is doing. And notice if your energy is matching. Even if you yourself are not like reacting, like even if you yourself are staying calm or staying kind or whatever, notice is your energy leaving your body, is your energy trying to match their energy, is your energy trying to go and play Kate and process their energy. Start to play with that from the very like super mellow slash positives, like little moments to the more the caregiving service-based moments and see see what happens there. The other thing like, I mean, there's so many different directions we could go, but let me pause and see if you have more questions about that. Oh, I just wanted to make sure I'm getting it. So the posture when I'm working and then also when I'm having an interaction with someone, even just a very small one, just a kind of pause and take a moment and we'll realize where is my energy and what is it doing? Am I matching, am I in there energy? Is it outside of me? Just paying attention to that. Is that right? And I think just just for the next like week and it doesn't have to be every time, it can be like half the time, just enough so you can start being more aware. Right now in your body, can you touch into how it feels in the morning once you've gotten like you've got a great night of sleep, you're doing your morning routine, nothing like maybe it's not even a stressful day, maybe it's like a day off and you know you've got like really great plans later and you're you know, got your sweeties treating you to dinner at your favorite place or something. Can you feel in your body what it feels like when you're meditating? Okay. Okay. Can you try other times during the day to just go to that space, reset your energy, reset your feel just like one or two other times a day when you go to the bathroom or you know just something like that to keep that state that I'm going to assume is like what we call your home frequency, right? Like that's your home frequency. It's when you're you know, peaceful, when you're like maybe even like your heart is open, you feel gratitude, you're not stressed, you're open, you know, you're relaxed, you feel connected, you're like, yeah, yeah, I can do a lot of things. I can do this. I can do that. Try to bring that in and then try to bring that in before and after exchanges or before your work day and after your work day. Some practitioners who are really sensitive have a little you know, five to 20 minute reset cleansing kind of ritual, whether it be like lighting dried plants or lighting a candle and like giving all energy you don't want to the candle or in the book burnout, the author suggests discharging anger or frustration or resentment or like feelings and emotions that tend to build up in our body, you like 20 minutes of movement, like stomping, dancing, shaking, I'm a fan of the hitting the couch with the pillow, like that's my I love it. I just could do it for until I get tired until I start laughing usually is what happens. So like I'm also wondering and the thing is like it's I think these things are too much to try to do every day. Maybe that's just me. But even if you could do it like three days a week and just kind of see if there's any kind of subtle change. And I think this is really important because I've been thinking about this a lot for myself. Like I know I've been thinking about like what to give folks in the community in terms of meditations and like you know subconscious re patterning things. And I've been thinking that a lot of it actually has to be like pre pre and what I mean by that is if you don't believe that things can change not you but a person, you know, if a person doesn't believe that they can actually shift a pattern or feel more energetic around people or like be more conscientious of their energy. It's not going to happen because again, you know, so that's why I brought up the deeper beliefs like the deeper belief mechanisms that might be in place that have to be shifted and changed around because like if I in my heart believe that like I'm never going to be I'm never going to have worth to anyone just by existing. It's going to be really hard for me to stop giving my energy away subconsciously because my subconscious is like it's so in there. It's like if you you're you're only worth something if you're giving if you're overgiving or if you're providing value to someone or whatever. So there's a really deep link between our beliefs and our subconscious and what our energy does. That makes sense. So it's like a core belief that we need to shift. Again, this is also conscious and this is all just pre supposing I don't know what's going on in your beautiful brain. But if you have the script running that's like people make me exhausted. I'm exhausted around people. I'm always tired around people or any other, right? Well, what's going to happen? Your energy is going to be like get tired around people. Do things to make tired. You know, like if only we were that sophisticated that it didn't work in that way. But like I'm I know with myself one of the biggest fears I've had to work through around certain subjects is like not believing things would change. Like not believing I could change or that I could do things differently or that blah blah blah. You know, so I think it's like belief work and then noticing once you can make a shift like once you get to a point where you're like, yeah, I believe that I can be around people. And I can keep all my energy or I can remain energized after dealing with people. Once you feel that like what is the energetic structure of that belief? Because I think that energetic structure is different than someone who believes that people always make them tired. And that whatever the statement I said was, you know, my worth is is dependent on what I can do for other people or how like non-burdany or how, you know, whatever I am for others, how convenient. I suppose that's a big one, like how convenient I am. So I'm just I'm just wondering like for you to go on your own and maybe create a little like belief energy plan for yourself, you know? Yeah. Because I think for people who are as intuitive as you and for people who are as smart as you, it honestly works really great when you create it. When you're like, oh yeah, can like, you know, journal in this prompt or I can like, okay, I can notice this with my energy, you know, so I'm just giving you suggestions. And really the suggestions are around just really trying to slow down. Notice what's happening to the best of your ability. And then just try some different things experimentally in different situations to see what might shift. And use your intuition and ask yourself like on your own or when you're in the bath or, you know, whatever when you're just chilling, like what are some things maybe I could try to, like, you know, so you come up with your own little game plan. And then the last thing I'll say on this, on this, I love that you ask like class like, you ask like one question. It's like a whole podcast interview. I know I have a whole like other two pages or questions, but that's okay. It could be that, like, you just. are overloading your social play. And maybe you do have to, like, maybe you do need one full day or one half day of the week to, like, be alone, not talk, fully recharge, be in your house, be in nature, whatever, whatever it is. Like it could literally just be like, you, your dance card is full. There's, you know, you're, you're interfacing with a lot of people and you might, like, on the boundaries tip, you might need literally some more space and some more time to yourself, for yourself. Definitely do. Yeah. And I think I also really prioritize work as like, I guess being work alcoholic or whatever. And I feel like my life has revolved around work a lot. And that's one reason why I'm super excited to take the artist's way class with you. I signed up and I'm going to be going to that. And because I really want to reconnect with that part of myself. And I think having a container and accountability and something on my calendar really helps. So I tried integrating, like, what I loved creatively with making money and that didn't work for me. And so then I was like, I just want to be financially stable and I want to help people. And I found something like that. And I love it. I'm really good at it. And I'm at the place where I'm like, I'm planning to stay well right now. Fingers crossed knock on wood. But I was always like, after I get there, then I'll have time to do that creative stuff. One there. And even if I'm not there, like you said, recently, like, I need to like now, so the future is now. Like, don't put it off for another day. I feel you so hard on this on so many levels, right? That's partially, I think, what we're doing as like cycle breakers, you know, like we're like trying to break these both societal cycles. But I really, to me, they just feel really like ancestral and like really deep rooted. The last component. And I think this is the hardest or I know it's the hardest for me. I've also been, I don't know if this is you, but I have ADHD. Do you have, do you know if you have it? So I'm actually in the process right now figuring out if I have it or not. I do have a lot of this symptoms or whatever, culture. Yeah. Yeah. So if someone's out there listening and they do have, they suspect their, you know, neurodivergent, what I keep learning, like bit by bit, about ADHD. And so one thing I also want to say to people and this has to do with energetic boundaries and it has to do with everything we've been talking about in this conversation. It's like harder for, I guess, the ADHD brain to rest. There's also a level of like shame and intensity that the ADHD brain is motivated by. So it's like challenging to rest or it's challenging not to do challenging things kind of and it's challenging to move towards or rewire towards more ease. And so there's that last part. And then there's this, the last last part, which is like, everyone I've been talking to is feeling this way. The future is now, tomorrow is not promised and it's not just, oh, being more creative is like self-care. No, it's like restoring your energetic life force. It's like, it's like so much bigger, I think than self-care. I mean, it's like almost true self-care. It's like, it's restoring your life force. It's like bringing out different aspects of the self. It's like inner child healing. It's like healing the world. It's like when we're all happier and whole, more people are happier and whole. So yes, I love that. I wanted to and so like making that time for ourselves without and this is where the other boundary intrinsic boundary comes in like without and this is the hard part, I think without feeling guilt or without waiting like all our homework's done like a good girl, you know what I mean? And like, okay, I'll wait until Friday night or I'll wait until Sunday or you know, like trying to integrate it as we can with our ability and with our time. I think is like so key and it sounds like you're already on that path. Do you have any other, do it like one more, one more thingy? Well, I'm hearing the the belief work, the thing and I guess I'm talking about what we were talking about before. But like when I went to another country on vacation, I was picking up on a lot of like microaggressions from other people because of my fatness and that was really hard to handle. And so I kept like laughing and and scussed and so I kept trying to like imagine different energetic boundaries, like a brick wall, like an aluminum bottle, like but nothing was strong enough. But also I hear what you're saying about like maybe I don't know, like maybe I'm just so used to picking up on those, but it was worse in this other country than it is in the US. I'm so sorry. Oh thanks. That's like opposite of a vacation. Right, there were some really beautiful moments in my vacation and I love that country. But yeah, fat phobia is rampant and I guess it is a little better in the US. I get I still get microaggressions, but I guess maybe less so because there are more fat people here. But yeah, so I think like I maybe maybe what you told me about like I'm assuming that everyone is laughing at me or pointing at me or putting disgust towards me and maybe they are and sometimes they are but sometimes maybe they're not and sometimes maybe I'm just conditioned to assume that. Or maybe they're just total jerkheads and you know they're awful disrespectful people and the thing that came up, the thing that came up for me is just like I think anyone would be upset. Like if someone laughed at me or pointed at me if I was just minding my business, like I would be like I want to leave, you know, or like you know I would be I think anyone would be affected. And so I don't want to get like sometimes I feel like the nuances like I don't want to sound like I'm blaming I don't want to sound victim blame me, you know what I mean? Like because it's so effed up and it's so not okay. I know it should ever treat anyone like that ever, right? So there's that thing and how much do I love that you are like brick wall like aluminum you were like is it Teflon? You're like well Teflon work? At first I was like I'm a girl in a bottle I'm in a bottle and then I was like this bottle is glass it's not good it doesn't work and I was like it's in a aluminum bottle it's fully recyclable. I think that we should get rid of these plastic bottles but also like so when I do pick up an energy like that from other people, I try to remind myself that it's probably not really them it's like not really their true self it's just they've been conditioned by society to think that way feel that way and treat that people that way and it's not yours it's not mine and I think this is the thing that I wanted to like end on that might be useful to you or you might not been thinking a lot about the energy of yes and no so like knowing your know and knowing your yes and depending on you know your upbringing or your history or your prior experience it could be harder to really know your know and to like I'm for people who are listening I'm like putting my hands up and I'm kind of like rejecting this idea of this like almost like I don't know what the material would be but like I am literally just returning oh that's why in the class I talked so much about I love setting up the mirror like I will set up the mirrors and I'm like this is so that if folks are going to be hateful or if folks are going to be whatever disrespectful they're gonna get that back immediately like if they're not even gonna get in so there's that aspect but back to the speaking of ADHD I'm all over the place with your know and this is in everything for you to practice not to give you too much homework but like what does you're like no in your energy body no I don't accept this no you can't slide me with your hate no this isn't mine no I'm not taking this no this is not going into my body and into my soul no this is not even for me because it's your unprocessed like shadow material of like your own weird stuff that you're throwing out at me because I I mean, that's true, it's literal projection. This is what projection is an action, right? So I'm just wondering playing with that energetically and the last thing I'll say on the harder kinds of things that I'm so glad you brought up is like, so this is really strange, but again, here we go. When I'm doing all my mad scientist energy work, the thing that always gets me and I know it's so weird is dog barks. I don't know why, but like if I'm walking my dogs or if I'm going for a dog or something, if like a dog, like a really scary set, and I've never had anything bad happen with dogs, I've never been bit, it's not like a this life thing. But anyway, the way that like an aggressive scary dog bark enters into my energetic field, just like purses, it's like gets in there. Like, you know, you can tell sometimes you're like, oh, this is like, out, sat, you know? Yes, I'm sensitive, yes, I'm HSP, and also it's like a bigger thing. So what I have tried all kinds of different things 'cause I'm like, don't wanna be like off for the rest of the day or for even more than just a second. I do things like I shake my body, I stomp, I sing, I hum, like I might look a little bit wackadoodle, you know, a dog's barking and I'm like, mm, you know, or I'm like shaking my body. Like if you feel stuff really getting in there and you like feel it, you know, like daggers or however it shows up in your body, pain, sometimes it shows up literally as pain. Think about some other movement things or somatic things or going back to the burnout suggestion. Like as soon as you can go into your room and just like beat a couch or like, you know, just to get the energy out. But I also think like, I also think this like knowing your know and like knowing what your know can do and understanding again on like a core level, it's not yours. Like I had a friend, I once dated a guy, it wasn't a friend, I'll be honest. And he was black and he was talking about microaggressions and he was talking about how like, and again, his energetic makeup totally different than ours, he's his own person. But he was saying the analogy he used with me really stuck with me, he saw it as a male and his mailbox that was addressed to someone else. And so he was like, oh, well, what do you do when you open up your mailbox and it's not, it's, you know, it says John Smith on it. You just return it to send her. And so it's kind of another way of saying like, I don't accept this. This isn't for me. Like this isn't mine. I'm just returning it, you know? And again, this is like a different person, a different energetic makeup. But I think there's something to be said about truly not taking on people's projections and understanding at a core level that it truly isn't about you. And again, there's so much nuance. Like I'm already like, well, you know, there's we have to be careful because people can be violent or you know, people can really be scary, you know, like there are circumstances where it's like very, very super not okay. But if you can get to safety and it's just more like a passer by kind of thing, I think you know on a heart level, it's not your stuff. So energetically, what does it look like to return it? What does that feel like? What does no feel like in your body in your energetic field and understanding that like also I might jump every time a dog barks for the rest of my life. You know what I mean? Like like meaning like if someone's a jerk, if you're just like minding your business, if you're literally on vacation having like a cute little fun time and someone like points at you and says something like you're a human being, like of course you would feel like what? Like you got slimed by the funny ghost and ghost busters. Like I also want to normalize, it's so normal to be affected by people's bullshit. This is also why we need people to be operating at a higher level of consciousness, right? - Yeah, I think you're right though. I'm pretty disconnected from no and not comfortable with it. So I think I definitely do need to work on that. And I love the analogy about the mailbox because yeah, it made me think of that return to sender, that oldie song that's like return to sender, no such number, no such name. So maybe I can just bring that like into my head like when that's happening and just like visualize like rejecting that letter, sending it back to where it came from. Yeah, I like that a lot. - Yeah, thank you so much. This was so fun. - Right back at you. Thank you. (soft piano music) - Okay, my friends, I hope you enjoyed this week's episode as much as I enjoyed creating it. Remember, listening to a podcast is not the same as implementing practices and you're every day that will add to your wellbeing, your wholeness and the wellbeing and wholeness of those in the world around you. So if there was one little offering or offering of goodness, if you got lit up and you immediately, we're like, oh, that happens to me or oh, I wanna try this suggestion. That's your affirmation to take it into your everyday life and try it for long enough to usually at least one week up to a month, try this new way of being, this new practice for long enough to see if there are any different results. I'm sending you so much love. Thank you so much for being here. Bye for now. Moon Beaming is a Moon Studio production. It is edited by the wonderful Emilio Ruby at Software Sounds and Thee Music is by Melissa Katelyn Carter of Making Audio Magic. Hire them both for all your audio and podcast needs. Thank you so much for tuning in. We're always looking for online sponsors. So if you are a business or creative who'd like to sponsor an episode or two, reach out. If you love this podcast, please consider joining our membership to support it, sharing on social media, passing it along to friends or leaving us a five star review. We'd appreciate it so much and we appreciate you. Thanks for being here. [BLANK_AUDIO]